#easily overlooked traits

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Easily Overlooked Autistic Traits

Situational Mutism

Special interests

Comfort items

Missing social cues

Sensory issues

Executive function problems

Lil Penguin Studios/Autism Happy Place

[luna-azzurra]

Soft Traits That Turn Into Hard Lessons

Kindness Turning Into People-Pleasing

They start out as the friend everyone loves, the one who always says yes, who always makes time, who always bends over backward to make others happy. But over time, their kindness turns into something else. They say yes when they mean no. They stretch themselves so thin they forget how to say, I can’t. They let people take and take, thinking it’s love, thinking it’s loyalty. Until one day, they realize: they don’t even know who they are without the weight of everyone else’s expectations.

Patience Turning Into Endurance of Pain

They wait. And wait. And wait. Because they believe good things come to those who are patient. But patience becomes a prison when they wait for love that never arrives. When they sit in silence, enduring things that should break them, convincing themselves it’s just a phase, just a rough patch, just one more chance. Their patience keeps them stuck, keeps them suffering, and by the time they realize it, they’ve spent years waiting for something that was never meant for them.

Forgiveness Turning Into Self-Betrayal

They forgive. Over and over. Because they believe in second chances. Because they believe people can change. Because they believe in love, in friendship, in the idea that people don’t mean to hurt them. But forgiveness stops being beautiful when it becomes a cycle. When it teaches people that no matter how much they hurt them, they’ll always come back. Forgiving others so much that they forget to forgive themselves for not walking away sooner.

Independence Turning Into Isolation

They are strong. Unshakable. They don’t need anyone, and that’s what makes them so admirable. But somewhere along the way, independence turns into walls too high for anyone to climb. They stop asking for help. Stop admitting when they’re struggling. Stop believing in softness, in shared burdens, in the kind of love that makes the weight easier to bear. Independence is supposed to be freeing, but all it’s done is make them feel alone.

Hope Turning Into Delusion

They believe. In love. In people. In things getting better. And at first, it’s beautiful, it’s inspiring. But hope becomes dangerous when it makes them blind. When they ignore the red flags, telling themselves things will change. When they keep waiting for someone to love them the right way, even though every sign is pointing to the fact that they never will. Hope becomes delusion when it keeps them trapped in something that was never meant to last.

Humility Turning Into Self-Doubt

They never want to be arrogant. They don’t need recognition, don’t crave the spotlight. And that’s what makes them admirable, until it starts eating them alive. They downplay their achievements. Shrug off compliments. Convince themselves they’re not good enough, not worthy enough, not enough. Humility was supposed to keep them grounded, but now it’s keeping them small.

Romanticism Turning Into Unrealistic Expectations

They dream big. They believe in grand gestures, in once-in-a-lifetime love, in the idea that if it’s meant to be, it’ll be effortless. But romanticism turns into disappointment when they start mistaking drama for passion, when they think love is only real if it’s all-consuming. They overlook the quiet, steady kind of love, chasing something cinematic instead of something real.

Trust Turning Into Foolishness

They believe in people. See the good in them, sometimes even before it’s there. They trust easily, love freely. And at first, it’s a gift. But trust turns into foolishness when they start ignoring warning signs, handing out second chances to people who never deserved a first. They get used, lied to, taken advantage of—all because they couldn’t stop believing in the best version of someone, instead of the version right in front of them.

Protectiveness Turning Into Self-Sacrifice

They will do anything for the people they love. Shield them from pain. Take the fall for them. Give, and give, and give. But at some point, protecting others means breaking themselves. At some point, they realize they’ve spent so much time making sure everyone else is okay, they forgot to ask if they were.

Perseverance Turning Into Self-Destruction

They don’t quit. Ever. No matter how hard things get, they keep pushing, keep fighting. Because strength is perseverance, right? But at what cost? Perseverance turns into self-destruction when they refuse to let go of things that no longer serve them. When they keep fighting battles that were never meant to be won. When they destroy themselves in the process of proving they’re strong enough to survive. Because sometimes, the things we admire the most are the things that break us in the end.

Here’s the Show, Don’t Tell freebie book and my newsletter.

[p0orbaby]

Extinguish the Flames with Some Champagne and Pills

summary: your may or may not be in denial about your feelings for alexia

warnings: mention of smut, alcohol and drugs and nothing major

a/n: a whole lot of words based on this request. set after this but you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to

word count: 3k

part 1

-

You’ve been ignoring Alexia’s messages for weeks now, every one of them its own little bomb you’re too terrified to defuse. Every time her name pops up on your screen, your stomach flips, your breath catches, and you somehow experience the full spectrum of human emotion in a split second. But mostly there’s terror and something closer to shame than you’d like to admit.

It’s a game of avoidance that doesn’t come easily to you; after all, you’re usually the one with a glib reply or some devil-may-care response, the kind of person who thrives on chaos. But this time, it’s different. This time, there’s something closer to shame nestled beneath the familiar terror, a sensation like a splinter lodged deep under the skin—small enough to ignore at first but persistent enough to drive you mad.

Your friends—of course, always your friends—keep bringing her up, as if they can somehow sense the crisis you’re trying to keep contained. It’s usually after a few cocktails too many, when your circle is gathered around a dimly lit table in some trendy restaurant or at a rooftop bar where the music is loud enough to drown out the awkward pauses but not loud enough to stifle their teasing. “She’s the best footballer in the world,” they slur with a kind of drunken reverence, like they’re invoking some untouchable deity rather than a woman who once had her strap buried inside you in a strangers bathroom. “You know she won the Ballon d’Or twice, right?” As if you haven’t been low-key stalking her career, watching those achievements pile up like monuments you’ll never come close to matching. “She’s beautiful and talented,” they declare, their words slurring into a familiar refrain, as though her accolades have somehow slipped your mind, as though you might have failed to notice her brilliance or her impossible grace.

But the clincher, the one they love to throw at you, is always: “And she’s Spanish”

There’s a certain relish with which they say it, that singsong tone like they’re divulging some magic spell or a punchline they know gets a laugh every time. It’s as if her nationality carries some kind of exotic allure, like there’s something intrinsically romantic or mysterious about being Spanish that you’re pre-programmed to fall for. Ridiculous, really, but your friends don’t care about nuance. They only remember the endless stories you told about summers in the Balearics—the drunken nights under hot stars, the hazy afternoons spent nursing hangovers and catching fragments of conversations in Spanish that you pretended to understand. “You love Spanish women,” they insist, as if your type is as predictable as your go-to drink order. Conveniently, they overlook the fact that your type mostly translates to ‘emotionally unavailable,’ as if that’s some universal trait of Iberian women.

It’s not that they’re entirely wrong, of course, but they’re oversimplifying. Your attraction to Alexia isn’t some exoticism or romantic fantasy you’ve spun out of nothing. It’s her unapologetic drive, her resilience, that hooked you—though God forbid you’d admit that to anyone. “She’s an athlete,” you shrug whenever the subject comes up, swirling the last melting ice cube in your Old Fashioned like it’s a magic eight ball that might give you a different answer this time. “They’re all players.” The line slips out with just the right amount of indifference, a practiced dismissal, as though you’ve been brutalised by every athlete from Cristiano Ronaldo to Wayne Gretzky. It’s a complete fabrication, of course. You’ve never actually dated a footballer, let alone the best in the world. But who can resist a good story, especially when it’s your own and you get to embellish the details?

It’s easier, you think, to act disinterested than to admit you’ve been replaying that night in the bathroom, the feel of her breath against your neck, every time you catch your reflection in some shiny surface. You thought you were done with all that—had filed her away in the mental drawer labelled ‘Temporary Distractions,’ right alongside the male model who could never quite remember your birthday and the painter who had the audacity to try to psychoanalyse you on the third date. One-night stands are supposed to be transient, fleeting, the kind of thing you can bring up in therapy one day with a detached air. “I think this is worth mentioning,” you’d say, as if it happened to someone else, “but it’s not really important.” Another plot point in the story of your life, never quite making it past the cutting room floor.

But Alexia doesn’t stay filed away. She starts turning up everywhere, not quite a haunting, but a presence you can’t shake no matter how you try. At first, it’s incidental—just a casual Instagram scroll, a stray click on some football gossip account that you don’t even remember following. There she is, grinning in some post-match group shot, looking too happy for someone who’s supposed to be just another fleeting chapter in your book. It’s the kind of unguarded joy that can’t be faked, not even for the camera, and you can’t help but wonder if she’s always this free, or if it’s something that only comes out when she’s on the pitch, away from people like you.

You hardly even realise it, but suddenly you’re following three different Barcelona fan accounts. Then, as if by some magnetic force you’re unwilling to acknowledge, things escalate. She likes one of your posts—a shot from the Venice Film Festival where you’re all decked out in head-to-toe Prada, looking expensively bored, like you couldn’t care less about anything in the world. She comments on one of your stories: just an emoji. A single fire emoji, to be precise. Harmless, you suppose. But the comments start getting specific—little in-jokes that only someone who’d had their mouth on your skin could know. There’s a familiarity in her tone that feels invasive, like she’s reminding you of things you’ve deliberately chosen to forget.

You don’t reply. Cowardice? Yes. Masochism? Possibly. The most crucial thing is that replying would imply there’s something worth talking about, and something always becomes complicated. You’ve already got enough complicated in your life: a demanding agent who keeps sending you scripts for roles that are ‘outside your comfort zone,’ a wardrobe full of designer clothes you’re required to wear for sponsorship deals you didn’t even negotiate, and an on-again, off-again affair with mindful meditation that never seems to stick. You’re in the middle of wrapping up a film that everyone assures you will ‘change the trajectory of your career,’ though they’ve said the same about the last three projects, and you still get recognised more for that face cream advert you did when you were twenty-one than for anything of substance.

The film’s an indie about a morally ambiguous antiheroine, a character so damaged and charmingly dysfunctional you’d think you were being typecast if the role didn’t feel like an emotional excavation. She’s got a drinking problem; you’ve always favoured substances that can be discreetly indulged in penthouse bathrooms, though you’re certainly not going to point that out to the director who keeps going on about ‘authenticity’ and ‘method acting.’ He seems to think you’ve got some untapped well of emotion just waiting to be accessed, as if there’s this depth beneath your flawless skin that’s going to pour out on cue. If only. Most of the time, you’re trying not to let your co-star notice the faint tremor in your hands that’s mostly a byproduct of too much caffeine and not enough sleep.

Then one day, while you’re lounging in your trailer, pretending to enjoy a green juice that tastes like the inside of a lawnmower—another post from Alexia. She’s on the pitch, holding some trophy aloft, her face flushed with victory. Her hair is slicked back, still damp with sweat, strands clinging to her skin in a way that seems impossibly intimate despite the vastness of the stadium behind her. That smile… Christ. It’s like she’s been sculpted out of bronze, an ancient statue come to life, as if she’s somehow timeless and ephemeral all at once. There’s something almost mythic about her, an enduring quality that makes your breath hitch in a way that feels both familiar and unnervingly new, like an old friend who’s overstayed their welcome but you’re not quite ready to let go.

It’s moments like these when you notice how precariously you’re balancing on the line between fascination and obsession. You catch yourself humming the anthem of Barcelona’s football club, the tune woven so deeply into your subconscious that it startles you. You aren’t even sure where you picked it up, but it plays on a loop whenever your mind wanders, like a soundtrack you didn’t choose. Then there are the little things—reading the match reports in the sports section like you actually know what half the terms mean, or memorising obscure facts about the team’s history as if they’re somehow relevant to your life. You’ve started following the scores like they’re stock prices, pretending it’s just casual interest, though a part of you wonders why you keep needing to know how well she played, how many minutes she was on the pitch, whether she looked happy in the post-game interviews.

It’s a form of self-deception that’s becoming harder to maintain. You’re drawn to her orbit, pulled in by a force that feels magnetic and entirely outside your control, as though your fascination is bleeding into the rest of your life, filling the gaps you didn’t even know existed.

You decide, in a moment of what can only be described as poor judgment, to attend one of her matches. It feels impulsive and reckless in the way most of your decisions do, a haphazard pairing of curiosity and a kind of dangerous longing. You book a front-row seat like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like you’re just ticking another item off some glamorous bucket list rather than treading into unfamiliar territory. Naturally, you show up dressed to the nines—your favourite Gucci sunglasses perched on your nose, an Alexander McQueen coat draped over your shoulders with that deliberate, careless grace that suggests you’re either oblivious to or entirely aware of its price tag. Your hair is styled in that kind of artful chaos that takes hours to perfect but is meant to look like you rolled out of bed effortlessly chic. You’re not here for the football. You’re here for her.

The atmosphere in the stadium is overwhelming, almost suffocating, a heady cocktail of chants, horns, and the sharp, greasy scent of fried food that turns your stomach. It’s a kind of chaos you’re unaccustomed to, this all-consuming fervor where the world narrows down to the pitch, to the twenty-two players moving with a purpose you can’t fully grasp. You understand about three percent of what’s happening on the field—just enough to know when the ball’s in play but not enough to follow the strategies unfolding before you. You’re mostly people-watching: the sea of jerseys, the faces contorted with passion, the rhythmic clapping that you can’t quite catch the beat of.

When Alexia scores, it catches you off guard. The stadium erupts, thousands of people leaping to their feet with a collective roar that vibrates through your bones. You react half a beat late, your applause more polite than enthusiastic, like you’re at a black-tie gala instead of a football match. You stand, clap along with the crowd, and try not to feel like an imposter. As the cheers die down, you catch her eyes from across the distance, just for a flicker of a moment. There’s something in her gaze—an awareness, a spark—that slices through the noise and zeroes in on you. It’s like she sees you, actually sees you, in the middle of this thrumming, chaotic mass of bodies, and for a split second, it feels like the two of you are the only ones in the entire stadium.

After the game, you somehow find yourself swept into the exclusive VIP area, a place filled with the kind of people who can glide between worlds as easily as they switch languages. A flute of champagne appears in your hand almost before you’re aware you’ve been handed one, and you sip it absentmindedly as you let the buzz of conversation wash over you. You’re halfway through your second glass when she appears, slipping through the crowd with a kind of effortless poise, her hair still damp from the shower, the strands curling at the ends. She’s wearing a loose tracksuit, looking every bit the casual athlete, as though she hasn’t just been commanding the attention of thousands.

There’s an insufferable confidence in the way she moves towards you, that familiar swagger that borders on arrogance, as if she’s amused by the fact that you actually showed up, that you dared to step into her world. “I didn’t think you were a football fan,” she says, a teasing lilt to her voice, though her eyes betray something else—a darker, more searching intensity that you recognise all too well from that night in the bathroom, the one you keep trying and failing to forget.

“I can appreciate a good performance,” you reply, lifting your glass in a mock toast, your voice slipping into that arch tone you’ve perfected over years of industry parties and press tours. “I’ve seen Cats live on Broadway, you know.” It’s a flippant comment, the kind that’s designed to deflect, to distract, to keep the conversation light and meaningless.

She laughs, a rich sound that feels like an indulgence. It’s not so much at your joke but at the way you’re playing this little game, like she’s letting you have your moment, humouring you. “And did you enjoy the show?” she asks, her voice dropping just enough to suggest that her question has nothing to do with the theatre and everything to do with the performance she just gave on the pitch.

“I think you already know the answer to that,” you say, holding her gaze longer than you probably should. There’s a challenge in the way you look at her, an unspoken dare, and for a moment, you wonder if she’ll take the bait. Her lips curl into a small, devilish smile, a private expression that feels like a confession meant just for you.

The moment stretches, teeters precariously on the edge of something you’re not quite ready to acknowledge. It feels monumental, like a line about to be crossed, but then she steps back, just a fraction, and the spell breaks. She turns away with a dismissive grace, leaving you standing there as if you’ve just been defeated in a game you didn’t know you were playing. “Good,” she says simply, and with that one word, she slips back into the crowd, leaving you with nothing but the faint taste of champagne on your lips and the lingering sense that you’ve been left wanting.

After that, you start to notice the divide. There’s Before Alexia and After Alexia, and it’s not a clean break but a jagged line that cuts through your life, shifting everything off balance. You used to think of yourself as someone in control, or at least someone who could fake it convincingly enough to fool everyone else. There was always an understanding that if you messed up, someone would be there to fix it—your agent, a publicist, some overworked assistant who could call in a favor to make the headlines disappear. But now, your phone has become an instrument of anxiety, vibrating with texts and notifications that you crave and dread in equal measure. It buzzes with messages from her that you read but don’t answer, with updates from your agent about the press tour you keep dodging, with reminders of responsibilities you keep pushing aside.

Even after filming there has finished, you start booking last-minute flights to Barcelona under the guise of ‘business,’ convincing yourself that it’s all perfectly legitimate. Your agent rolls his eyes and hounds you to schedule interviews and appearances, but you find yourself at the airport anyway, boarding another red-eye that will land you in some unfamiliar city just in time to catch her match. You’re finding yourself in strange places at ungodly hours, indulging in the kind of fan behavior you’d have found pathetic if you saw anyone else doing it. Ninety minutes of football passes in a trance, where the world narrows down to her figure gliding across the pitch, the fluid grace of her movements cutting through the static in your head like a hot knife through butter.

Afterwards, you’ll send her a coy, inconsequential text—“Not bad,” or “You could work on your footwork.” And she’ll reply with that maddening charm that dances the line between sincerity and sarcasm, always leaving you guessing. “Come and coach me, then,” she’ll say, as if she’s issuing a challenge, or perhaps an invitation.

There’s this one time, after too many drinks and not enough sleep, when you actually consider it. You catch yourself scrolling through Spanish real estate listings, as if browsing apartments for sale in Barcelona is a casual hobby rather than a subconscious form of planning. You tell yourself it’s just idle curiosity, a way to pass the time, yet you’re finding out the details—locations near the stadium, neighbourhoods with the best views, penthouses with terraces that would catch the Mediterranean breeze. You click on the photos of sun-drenched balconies and tiled kitchens, pretending you’re only fantasising about a different kind of life, one where you’re not constantly looking over your shoulder for the next tabloid scandal or PR crisis.

But then you sober up. You stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror of a five-star hotel suite in Madrid, taking in the disheveled hair, the dark circles under your eyes, and you remember who you are. You’re not the kind of person who throws away their life for someone else, certainly not for a woman you haven’t even kissed since that one stolen night, a night that’s become less real and more like a story you tell yourself to explain this unshakable obsession. Besides, you’d probably make a terrible coach.

[thezeninclan]

omegaverse ft. the hashira

TENGEN — alpha obviously, I don’t think there’s a person on earth who would argue otherwise. tengen doesn’t believe in toxic alpha-ness, or alpha aggression, or any of the alpha traits that make other alphas think they’re better than everyone. instead he believes its an alpha’s purpose to treat his omega or omegas like royalty, to make sure they have everything they need, everything they want, so they live a life of flamboyant luxury and comfort. he’s extremely affectionate, whether he is in rut or not. he loves to scent his omegas and have he scent them in return, he doesn't care that typical alphas wouldn't want to walk around smelling like an omega. in his mind, there is nothing better smelling in the world than the perfume like scents of his wives, so of course he would like to smell of them too. he just loves love and loves to show it, from big warm hugs to lingering temple kisses, to long, languid early morning sex sessions.

MITSURI — omega. it had always been a touchy subject for her— due to her immense strength, her hearty appetite, even her career as a demon slaying hashira. she had always thought no one would want her, a fierce omega. but that was only the self-doubt that had clouded her mind since she had first presented. in truth she was the perfect omega, loyal, brave, strong. there was no one in the world that an alpha could better trust with their pups, no mother that would fight harder to protect their nest.

IGURO — alpha. there is nothing more important to him than protecting his omega. that is the true purpose of an alpha after all. it is his job to keep his omega safe, and any pups they might have together. so it is not unusual to find him keeping steadfast guard over any omega who might call upon him for help, such as giyuu or gyomei, for they know there is no better alpha in the world, one who could easily resist the pull of pheromones and instead stand guard at the outside of their door, sword in hand and scowl on face, ready to cut down any who might pose harm to his ward.

SANEMI — alpha. he's needy, ravenous, hungry for attention, for love. he craves the feeling of fingernails scratching down his back, the sharp sting of teeth sinking into skin, the bruise of lips on his from the kisses he can't get enough of. his omega won't be able to leave his side for the duration of their heat. they eat together, bathe together, sleep together. the happiest times of his life are spent with his omega.

SHINOBU — she was a born and bred alpha, but just like tengen, she didn't believe in toxic relationships between alpha and omega. she treats her omega like gold, languishing them in gifts, showering them with affection and love, kisses, hugs, etc. she loves to hold her omega's hand, loves to cuddle them close and take in their scent, loving nothing more than the calm, languid sex sessions between alpha and omega once their heat dies down.

RENGOKU — alpha. by nature he is a carer, compassionate, kind, generous. he forms quick relationships with anyone, everyone, and with those he loves rengoku is a steadfast guardian, and diehard companion. with his omega he is just he same. they shall never want for anything, nesting materials, food, love, whatever the omega needs, rengoku is more than happy to provide. he is polite, a true gentleman, always asking for permission to enter his omega's nest, always bringing home surprise treats, special items his omega might enjoy— candies and sweets, a handmade pinwheel, a brand new plush futon, a pair of artisan sandals. he never overlooks an opportunity for kindness and affection, as quick to give a word of affirmation as a gift, so that his omega always knows his love for them, always knows how important they are to him, that he can't live without them, that he doesn't want to live without them.

GIYUU — omega. anyone who knew giyu could tell when his heat was approaching. it was a night and day difference, between the standoffish, icy demeanor he usually enveloped himself in like a shield, to a soft, affectionate omega that craved company and attention.

GYOMEI — unpopular opinion but omega. gyomei is a softie, everyone who has ever met him knows that. he loves to nurture and be nurtured, to love and be loved in return. it's unusual, for someone who looks like him, to be an omega after all, but there is nothing shameful about it and gyomei has been upfront about that from the start. he loves to nest, to create a safe space that smells of him and him alone, or him and whatever alpha he has chosen to spend his heats with. it isn't unusual to find him at the uzui household, five bodies curled together in a nest of blankets and haori's that smells of sweet fruit and bright perfume.

[mstase]

🤱🏻 Moon & Mother

the moon in your birth chart can offer insights into the mother’s personality and your relationship with her ~ 🌙

SUN-MOON: your mother is confident and direct, likely pushing you to toughen up and build confidence, shaping your identity and the way you carry yourself. however, this encouragement may come across as controlling, as she may have a specific image or standard she wants you to meet. this could create tension as you navigate between fulfilling her expectations and developing your own individuality. at times, she might seem arrogant and boastful, adding complexity to the dynamic

MERCURY-MOON: your mother is talkative, expressive, and enjoys logical discussions, but she can be critical, nitpicking, and lacks tact in communication. she values rationality over sensitivity and may often disregard or overlook your feelings. you might find yourself having frequent verbal arguments with her, but also chitchats. overall, her influence on you is significant, shaping how you think and communicate and likely instilling a preference for logic and directness.

VENUS-MOON: your mother is charming, sociable, and probably popular. her ability to effortlessly get her way into people has influenced you, leading you to believe that charm can make life smoother. despite your mother’s appealing qualities, there may be a two-faced and shallow side to her. your relationship with her is probably good, with few arguments, unless other aspects say otherwise. she played a significant role in shaping how you approach making connections and socializing.

MARS-MOON: your mother’s assertiveness and impatience, coupled with struggles in expressing emotions, likely resulted in frequent outbursts. her combative and defensive nature might have contributed to a home environment marked by conflicts and arguments. in response to this, you may have developed a heightened sense of alertness and the tendency to react quickly to diffuse or navigate such situations. your mother’s influence shaped the way you deal with emotions, leaning towards an aggressive approach

JUPITER-MOON: your mother is joyful, open-minded, and generous. however, her indulgent nature suggests a tendency to be overly lenient. your mother’s strong and dramatic reactions suggest that she responds intensely to various situations. perhaps she easily takes things personally and often makes small things a big deal. she may have influenced your wisdom, religious, and philosophical views, as well as your general outlook on life.

SATURN-MOON: your mother could have been emotionally guarded and strict, but she was also diligent and hardworking. early on in life, you were given a strong sense of responsibility, as your mother may have been preoccupied with her other duties. the bond between you two is serious and reserved, marked by limited displays of affection. growing up in an emotionally distant family taught you how to manage your emotions without support, which led you to develop emotional resilience.

URANUS-MOON: it seems that your mother exhibits moodiness and emotional distance, indicating a potential absence or distance in your relationship. childhood experiences marked by changes and unpredictability may have contributed to the inconsistency in your connection with her. despite this, she instilled in you a sense of independence and the ability to handle your own things. however, growing up, you may have likely felt like the odd one out in the family.

NEPTUNE-MOON: this can suggest that your mother may have been absent, either physically or emotionally, perhaps due to substance use or illness. another possibility is that she experienced abuse, and you had to bear the weight of her suffering, making you very sensitive to her emotions. despite your mother’s selflessness and compassion, there’s a deceptive side to her, meaning you might not have fully understood the true depth of her nature as you grew older.

PLUTO-MOON: your mother possesses a complex mix of traits, as she is both deeply loving and controlling. this can make you feel suffocated because she switches between being affectionate and dominating, showing strong and unpredictable emotions. it creates a storm in your relationship with her, sometimes leaving you confused as to why she acts that way. the power struggles you have with her add to the overwhelming feeling of conflicting forces in your relationship.

this is based on my observation & interpretation. take what resonates 💜 @mstase

[k1ng-ej]

vincent often makes you pose so he can draw you. you’re stuck in awkward positions for a few hours while he studies and memorizes your body to draw. he notes all of your curves, the slight dip in your hips, a few long scars that line your back and your thighs. he briefly wonders how you got them, and plans to ask you later if you’re comfortable sharing. he makes sure to add the barely noticeable freckles across your face, and the birthmark that was so delicately placed on your jawline.

vincent is very satisfied with his work, he thinks he has captured you perfectly in his drawing, and he is excited to show you. you’re glad to finally be able to move and stretch. your heart flutters in your chest when he shows you the drawing, to see how someone else views you through their eyes feels surreal, you are so used to seeing yourself through mirrors, or cameras, that you overlook details about yourself that vincent didn’t. you didnt notice the tiny freckles on your collarbone, or the small moles on your mid back. you were sure vincent had memorized all these physical details about you. he already had your favorite foods and drinks memorized, he knew what toppings on pizza you preferred, how many ice cubes you liked to have in your drinks. he was a man that paid close attention to detail, but that wasn’t surprising given how he made such beautiful but intricate wax sculptures, he was talented, and you praised him every day for that.

he was also very caring toward you, a trait his brother, Bo, didn’t exactly possess. vincent always made sure to include you in things so you wouldn’t feel left out, he would let you draw in his sketch book, something he didn’t even let his brother touch— for some reason. you’ve looked through his sketches, and found nothing bad, so you weren’t sure why he guarded it so much. if anything, his sketches were beautiful, you even found a few he did of you, and you could easily tell that he did these on a whim when sitting near you. they weren’t as detailed as others, just a quick something to busy his hands, or maybe he just wanted to capture your face in that moment.

vincent loved you dearly, and you could feel it through his actions and words… or letters. that was another thing he did. late at night, when he was left with nothing but his thoughts, he would write you heartfelt letters explaining all of the traits he loved about you. these letters were often multiple pages, to make up for all of the things he doesn’t say.

in conclusion, he is an amazing partner, and you love everything about him, and everything that comes with being with him, which includes his brother, who can be a bit mean sometimes, but you’ve learned not to take it to heart.

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Offering an NPD perspective on Ford Pines, because I feel the most common discussions surrounding his narcissistic traits tends to go in two ways — from what I’ve personally seen — and that’s defending him, and denying the mere possibility he may have NPD because it’s seen as a negative, or using NPD as a way to villainise him, and thus demonise NPD. Or, the alternative, this part of his character is completely overlooked.

That isn’t to say I haven’t seen some wonderful analyses on Ford and NPD, rather, I find it surprisingly lacking when his character might be some of the best representation of my own experience struggling with narcissism (alongside Bill).

I believe a lot of it stems from the misconception and stigma around NPD, and the fact Ford goes again common, typically incorrect, ideas, such as showing genuine care for other people, and accepting his failures and where he went wrong in the end, trying to repair his relationship with Stan, and realising that he doesn’t need to be recognised worldwide, as he’s found happiness with his family instead. All of these do not correlate with the media idea of a narcissist, but the fact is, narcissists are no different from any other disorder or mental health issue. We come in all different forms, and the idea we are inherently abusive or evil is such a widespread misconception that it becomes difficult getting help or support.

And that’s why I find Ford so important.

This alone, to me, describes in simple words how it feels to deal with NPD, and though you could argue Bill is projecting here, I think the point is they’re so similar, the lines blur. Both struggle with this same mentality, but Ford is able to reach out, and accept help, and Bill lets himself sink deeper and deeper into his own lies. Also, I’d argue it isn’t Bill projecting, because we sees evidence of this behaviour in Ford in the show and the journal.

He’s someone who believes himself destined for greatness, and won’t accept the bare minimum, such as when Fiddleford suggests he publish his research as is — No, he can’t have that. He has to be the one to uncover this grand theory. He has to have his name cemented amongst the greats. He believes himself to be special, different and more capable than other people, and yet he longs for the company of others all the same. He lives off of validation and praise, and strives for it, his own ego clashing against his lack of self-worth. Bill’s manipulations work on him because Ford eats up this sort of validation — it’s like one big high. It’s confirmation he is special. He is meant for greater things. He was right.

Ford notably struggles with empathy, which is likely both related to his autism, and also his narcissism. Other people simply don’t make sense to him. It takes effort for him to be able to understand people where they’re at, and he is willing to put in that effort notably, taking note of Fiddleford’s habits for example.

He also does struggle with manipulation and being deeply self-centred. A great example being Dipper’s apprenticeship. Ford is very subtly manipulating the situation here, and he doesn’t even notice, which is, in my own experience, common with NPD. He’s also unable to see Dipper and Mabel as, well, Dipper and Mabel, rather putting his own issues with Stan onto them, especially Dipper. He sees Dipper as a younger version of himself, and is trying to point him in that direction, never thinking whether it’s actually right for Dipper, or whether it’s for himself.

I could probably go on, like how he tends to have a black and white view of people, with his opinions on them easily flicking between extremes as a method of coping, or how he panics at the idea of his life’s work being destroyed, despite knowing the dangers.

Whether you agree he has NPD or not, Ford definitely has a lot of narcissistic traits, and yet, despite that, despite every mistake he’s made, everyone he’s pushed away, he gets a second chance. He gets to be loved and understood. He finds happiness. He gets to recover.

It’s very rare that characters with so many narcissistic traits get endings like that!

Ford is not a bad person because he’s a narcissist, he’s just a person, one who’s fucked up, and who’s still learning, and still healing, and that’s why he works. That’s why he’s such a comfort.

On a final note, If you are someone who’s going to argue vehemently against this idea, I kindly ask you simply scroll by!

[teratosubmission]

Humanfucker Here: Humans Make Great Beginner Companions

So, you’re a monster looking for your first pet. You’re craving companionship and intimacy, and you’re pining for the kind of fuckfest only an interspecies romance can provide, but you’re inexperienced and don’t really know what you’re doing. That’s okay, we’ve all had to start somewhere too! I’m here to give you the advice I give every beginner: start with a human.

Why a human, you ask? Well, everyone focuses on renowned human sexual compatibility, and their natural beauty and seeming submission to any creature larger than themselves, their noises, their orgasms, their devotion… but there’s a lot to caring for a pet that gets overlooked. I’ve seen too many of us rush into picking up a monster companion, thinking only about fulfilling their particular fetishes and not realizing the nuances and labor of taking care of such exotic species. And so I offer a beginner-friendly monster that is easy to take care of and require no complex logistics for: the human. I’m sure you’re familiar with them, they are arguably one of the most popular companions around, and I won’t argue their popular traits, but many overlook the real reasons for their popularity: their easy nature and adaptability that arguably make them even more compatible with us than any sexual reasons.

Humans innately pack bond with other species easily. This near-universal compatibility makes them incredibly easy to bond and form connections with any creature, which means your pet gets acclimated to you rather quickly without the need for specialized knowledge. You wont have to worry about consulting compatibility charts or fretting about every nuance to bonding with your pet; the simple versatility of a human takes out a lot of the frustrating guesswork!

Humans can adapt a wide range of behaviors, which means they adapt pretty well with the behaviors of whatever creature they are with. Are you nomadic? Humans are evolutionarily designed for long journeys. You have a permanent nest? Humans are excellent at maintaining your home. Part of a pack or a large society? Humans are social creatures and integrate well into your societies.

Humans will often challenge your dominance, but this is a form of play for them and will not actually try to usurp your place as the alpha. This offers beginners a safe and fun way to practice and assert your dominance, and its fun for both parties to put them in their place! This is especially an important trait for younger monsters who are still developing socially and are at risk of being stunted by more aggressive mates.

Humans will vocalize when you’re being too rough with them, but if you accidentally hurt them, it will be okay! Their bodies, while weak, are robust and heal easily, even from injuries that could lame other creatures. Just be sure to go easy on them and care for them while they’re healing, and they’ll love you for it! This robustness is also why they make good companions for a variety of locales and creature strengths, as well as for those still learning how to be gentle with their pets. Humans are excellent communicators in general, and their needs and desires will often be vocalized or presented through descriptive body language. Even the most anti-social of us would be able to properly ‘read’ a human’s mind given time.

And while they are not big or strong, they develop strong attachments to their mates and can match your ferocity if a situation requires it. You will still need to protect them, but they are not helpless either, and their fierce support can be enough to help you ward off threats.

Humans do have a special power up their sleeve. They are capable of controlling fire; they wield it, master it; they use it to cook, illuminate the dark, and even use it for defense. For many, this can be the most unnerving part of keeping a human, but you have to trust that they can properly control it. Having a fire-user is actually rather helpful!

Humans are very needy, but while they will primarily rely on you for sex and intimacy, they can take care of themselves if need be, which can be a godsend in case you're tired or injured. Humans are known to masturbate a lot while thinking about their companions, which can help intensify your bond when you are ready to love on them!

All things considered, I highly recommend taking a human as your companion, especially if its your first time. They're very easy to bond with and learn, very forgiving and adaptive in a variety of situations, and overall have several benefits worth considering for yourself!

[saturnsbabyboii]

🍓Synastry Astro Observations🍓

(Cause I haven't been active for three months)

🍓Regardless of the sign a planet is in, it is important to check the aspects it makes to other planets. This is especially the case for synastry charts and readings as aspects create an activation that can enhance, block or overturn the energy of said planets.

🍓People with Sun conjunct Sun aspect are very competitive with one another. This is usually exasperated when one or both have this aspect in a Fire house.

🍓Natives with Mars squaring others Neptune are usually challenging people realities. For the Mars native, the Neptune person is usually a cause of drama or someone that is petty or inauthentic. The Mars person can easily see through the Neptune person facade. However positively, the Neptune person can soothe the Mars native, despite their defensiveness. For the Neptune native on the other hand, this could be a relationship where the Mars person helps them overcome and outgrow harmful cycles, or actualize their dreams. Worst case, the Mars person is very harmful to the Neptune native mental health and psyche. They could be an abuser of sorts.

🍓Mercury trine Mars are people that can help each other process things and brainstorm as they work very well with one another balancing ideas and workload. This is the dream team for any project.

🍓People with their MC in square aspect to your Sun might feel embarrassed to be seen with you in public. Best case they prefer to be more personal and private with you, bringing you into their personal space and away from their outer persona.

🍓Personally, I have found that the predominance of Squares usually only works in context of friendship rather than in romance, sex or family. Although it could create conflict between personalities, when done right, it can signify support, companionship or even someone that'll be instrumental in helping you break out of toxic patterns or elevate into a higher level and field.

🍓MC square MC is an indication of having drama or a falling out publicly.

🍓Lunar Nodes in aspect to your personal planets have a strong effect on you, although it would be temporary. Meanwhile, someone Nodes in your angular houses (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th) will play a big role in your life. This is would be particularly true if they're in aspect to your Ascendant/Descendant/IC/MC.

🍓Aspects between Venus and Venus create more harmony and attraction than positive aspects between Mars and Venus/ Mars and Mars.

🍓Jupiter conjunct Saturn are two sides of the same coin. They're two people with the same ideals and principles yet they approach and practice them differently.

🍓Even though it is not "official" or as widely done, but I give great importance to the compatibility between the houses in synastry, regardless of the planets present. Since the houses are a reflection of our life map, it can help us better understand our similarities and differences, plus our possible standpoints.

🍓When looking over synastry with a parent, take a good look at the aspects made by their Saturn and Chiron to your personal placements. Chiron in specific can show where/what they unleash or heal their trauma through you.

🍓Mars opposition Saturn is a high indication of a relationship being described as a "Cold War".

🍓Having Chiron and/or Pluto conjunct someone inner planets means you're are here to serve them karma or bring them justice.

🍓Ascendant conjunct Venus creates a very beautiful pairing. Whether it's romantic or platonic, this pair accentuate one another's beauty.

🍓Check the aspects your Neptune makes to the other person. The planets aspected indicate where do you overlook traits, paint a false picture, or what are you in denial about regrading the person. This works in terms of justifying behavior, making up a connection, and possibly lying on or magnifying "bad traits" in others that don't exist. It also goes the other way around.

🍓The placement of someone's Moon in your houses can summarize their emotional state towards you or what they find in common with you on a deeper level. For example:

Someone's Moon in your 1st house can be a person that feels endowed or in awe of your appearance (especially when their Moon is inconjunction with your Ascendant). You may carry yourself in a way that they relate to or deeply desire. This person may also be someone that shares superficial feelings of you or thinks that you're shallow. Possible jealousy.

Someone's Moon in your 2nd house is a sign of codependence, specifically of the Moon native towards you. Since the 2nd house rules resources and self esteem, this person may require a lot from you, and might be a bit too comfortable taking things from you. You yourself may also enable this behavior and don't see a problem with it. In some cases, this could be a person that is emotionally supportive and reinforcing of your own worth. In contrast, this could be someone that creates blockages and hinders your material growth.

Someone's Moon in your 3rd house will be a person that you feel very comfortable talking to. This can be someone you find out that they're from the same hometown as you or have lived/is living in your childhood neighborhood. A potential life long roomie. An indication of a nurturing or "motherly" way of communicating with one another.

Someone's Moon in your 10th is similar to that of the 1st, in that the Moon person would be either in awe or jealous of you. In this house, this is exhibited overtly. This person could be your biggest cheerleader or biggest hater. Something about you succeeding (or even failing) affects them deeply. It's likely that this person won't have your best interest at heart and may use associating with you as a way to gain fame or monetary wealth. In positive cases, this person could be a confidant in professional environments.

🍓People that have more than two planets in your water houses (4th, 8t, 12th) will have a profound effect on you for the rest of this lifetime. These houses are not only related to our deeper selves and private life, but they're also karmic. Our relationship with such people is much more darker and intimate, showing hidden aspects of ourselves that we may not be aware of. Being around them may be draining as those relationships can feel like a blood oath, to say the least. Particularly for the 12th, this person can unravel you in the best (and worst) ways possible. As the house of hidden enemies, this person might be harmful to you in an unforeseen ways. If both of you share planets in these houses then it's an indication of trauma bonding.

🍓A person with their natal Mars in your 8th house can be someone oddly provoking. Its giving "why do I even like you?". These are not the people you usually find attractive yet they have a strange hold on you. They're your forbidden fruit.

🍓Aspects made to the ascendent can explain ones first impression of another. For example, Venus in aspect to the ascendent describes a sense of intrigue and attraction based off of desire (Opposition), envy (Square), resonance (Conjunct), belonging (Trine), or curiosity (Sextile).

Bye Ugly xoxo

[gibor-zolel]

Avery; the not so chill plant enthusiast

Well I am late as per usual but here it is;

This post will mainly be analyzing Avery's character but I will also be going over who I think Avery is the comparison and contrast to (it's "Wayne")

This is over 2,000 words with screenshots so I'm putting it under a read more. Enjoy :)

When we first see Avery they are portrayed as more of a minor character or someone that can easily be overlooked despite being one of the main love interests. Now part of this is because supposedly there's going to be 7 episodes and we're only on 4 but I believe the devs intentionally made the majority of Avery interactions up to the player's decision to include them and speak to them.

Depending on how you play the game; you may only see Avery as a passerby when you visit the diner or the general store. You don't actually have to invite them anywhere; it's up to us to make Avery feel included and wanted in the story unfolding.

The first thing we learn about Avery is that they're working for their aunt because they had "issues" with their family about their education. I don't believe it's ever expanded upon but I'm eager to learn more hopefully in episode 5.

Avery the supportive but left out "friend"

Avery also does their best to hype up and encourage the people around them. Such as in episode 1 when you go to the diner with Stella and Avery tells Stella not to downplay her success. On the wiki it states that Avery dislikes it when friends devalue themselves. The problem is that this type of friendship seems to be a one way street at times. We never see Stella or Kaneeka or Oscar or whoever invite Avery to places or put in the same level of effort of trying to connect that Avery does. Avery is extremely observant to people they see as their friends; such as when Avery not only notices that Gretchen is gone but also that Stella isn't her usual self.

Avery is nonjudgmental and tries their best to be empathic and sort of a mediator for the group such as pointing out to Kaneeka that the mines are obviously failing and Tabby clearly isn't some coal baron or when Avery directly calls the animal in the video a mountain lion despite knowing how Stella's refuses to accept any evidence contrary to her worldview.

When you go to the diner in episode 2 and question if Avery will even believe such a wild story, they say this;

I do think Avery can be a bit nosy at times but this isn't a malicious urge to get dirt on other people but rather a desire to be a part of someone's life and fill the loneliness in their heart.

Avery feels like a new character on a show that's already been running for 5 seasons. People are nice but you're not part of the OG cast ya know?

If you have Keen Eye you can say that Stella has talked up Avery's party and you don't think she would have done that if she didn't feel that Avery is a part of the town. So some of this isolation may be in their head.

Now personally, I do think Stella and Kaneeka often leave Avery out of things but I think this isn't because they don't like Avery but rather they're too caught up in their own business and inner worlds to take a step back and notice how Avery feels. However; there is also truth in acknowledging that loneliness can sometimes just be you overthinking things or situations in your head and I think Avery tends to do this.

Avery's boredom clashing with their empathy

A particularly interesting clash of traits in Avery is that they're empathic but also crave excitement so much that it can be borderline insensitive at times. After telling your story of what happened last night; Avery expresses remorse about Gretchen or Duke but then follows it up quickly with "how exciting"

This follows into episode 3 when you visit Avery and say "I've enjoyed the challenge"

Avery is someone who appears cool and collected but craves excitement and chaos. They seem to enjoy playing Nancy Drew to an extant too as they're always willing to help fill you in on any information they hear and they comment on being in the loop due to working at the diner. They're like a reverse Shaggy from scooby doo!

But Avery does pull back when you comment on it being wrong for us to feel excited.

"I wouldn't hate it"

This makes me think that in an upcoming chapter, Avery is going to come face to face with a dangerous situation and is either going to regret it or fully embrace it and endanger themselves or possibly others. There are several times Avery can "joke" about being okay with a ditchling putting an egg in them. I'm praying this doesn't foreshadow Avery being eaten alive...

The lonely drifting musician with too many plants

We learn that Avery's obsession with plants started when they bought a pothos to make their apartment feel less lonely and empty. Then they got a bunch more until it turned in a jungle. They joined a plant community online, both as a way to become more knowledgeable about their plants but also a way to connect with others.

When you ask if they have a favorite; Avery tells you their favorite plant is the dragon scale alocasia, which was a plant that someone from the online community gave them. Life got busy so they don't talk anymore but Avery still sees the plant as a way to remember that someone thinks of them.

Plus the leaves look like big puffy cartoons.

We learn that Avery is also a musician that plays synths, but started with the bass because it "called to them". On the Scarlet Hollow wiki it states that "Avery's love language is sharing plant cuttings with others. However for something more serious, they write songs for them."

Which is super cute and while Avery obviously loves plants; I think their ultimate passion is music as they state that music is their joy and they'd rather juggle having a job and playing on sound cloud than music becoming their livelihood.

Avery uses music as a way to express their emotions, connect with others, and carry on folk traditions.

Despite this; they have plans to move on. They state they don't want to work at the diner forever but also aren't sure what else to do or where else to go. They like to be on the move and meet new people and exciting situations.

What's strange is that it appears Avery is unhappy yet when you ask if they're unhappy; they say that this is actually the happiest they've ever been. Which implies that pre Scarlet Hollow they were even more lonely and lost in life. I think Avery desires a friend that they can be more vulnerable and open around.

Once again Avery is very perceptive and points out that Stella has walls up and Kaneeka is too busy with the store and family drama. They're also the first person to point out that something is strange about Sybil and will later on just straight up ask her if she's a witch.

Avery's potentially dangerous friendship with Julius?

Avery ended up forming a bond with one of the Holler's more prickly residents; Julius Tremaine. Julius apparently overheard Avery mentioning to aunt Winnie that they needed a bench for the garden and lo and behold a bench appeared the next day. I think Avery really appreciated that someone went out of their way to do something for them.

Avery explains that they and Julius now talk a lot more and that Julius got them a new frame for one of the beds recently. I get the impression that out of all the residents of Scarlet Hollow, that Avery has a soft spot for Julius in particular.

When you point out that Julius hasn't been in the diner; they express concern and say that they'll start getting worried if he doesn't show up tomorrow and states that no one else checks up on him. I don't think people outside of Winnie and Julius check up on Avery either.

The reason this friendship concerns me is I believe the next "choice" will be on the Tremaine farm and it'll involve Avery getting hurt or killed by one of Julius's traps or perhaps even getting attacked by one of the ditchlings. Sybil says that ditchlings don't attack humans but it's important to remember she also says she's never heard of this many before. The ditchlings may start off killing the small, weaker creatures and then begin killing people once the animals are gone.

Again there are weirdly a lot of dialogue options for Avery talking about being incubated or possibly killed by some otherworldly being. I've heard theories that the giant pumpkin may even be alive or have some kind of creature living in it. Makes me wonder if there's going to be a little shop of horrors homage....

Avery and "Wayne"

It's explained later to us that the ghost haunting Oscar and Rosalina's house chooses it's victims based on how well they fit the characters in the "play". It's obvious these aren't perfect cast choices but it's making due with what it has. It chooses Stella for The Lover because she and Tabitha were in a situationship, it oddly chooses Rosalina to play the mother protecting her child, Kaneeka to play the Witch, Oscar to play the dad and......if you invite Avery, you'll get an exclusive scene where Avery is playing a character called "The Entity"

Now I'm not going to go full theory mode into why I think the spirit possessing Wayne is the Entity but there's several hints to this such as possessed Avery's eyes opening when speaking and then relaxing while silent. Similar to how Wayne's eyes glow when talking and then fade out when quiet. There's more hints but I don't want to derail this post.

Rather let's discuss why Charlie choose Avery.

Firstly it appears this "Entity" is listening in on other people's conversations and is quite observant. It even knows that Eddie is pregnant. Avery is observant by working at the diner and overhearing conversations while Wayne is.....well he's a stalker. Standing in the background and listening in on our conversations and has been implied to be with for all our lives.

So it has Avery's observant nature but what else? Well if you have Street Smarts and Powerful Build in episode 1 you can explore the estate. In it you find someone with glowing yellow eyes who slinks back into the darkness after you almost catch them playing the piano. Assuming this is "Wayne"; that would mean he also is found of music.

Both Avery and Wayne desire connection and are loyal to those they care about. Avery seems to desire a close knit group of people but is friendly to everyone in town and is eager to help others even if they don't know them; while Wayne is obsessively focused on one individual (us) and is honestly quite nasty to other people or completely ignores them.

Avery and Wayne are also more in the background at times. With Avery needing to be included or else they'll end up as a stranger that hangs around other people and Wayne literally hiding in the background.

Avery calls their relationship with Sybil more of a business relationship and we know that Wayne has been hanging around Sybil's tea room and that Sybil has been helping him with....something.

Both Avery and Wayne appear cool and collected at first glance but there are moments which show us their hidden emotions. With Avery this is their desire for danger and excitement brimming beneath the surface while for Wayne there seems to be an underlying anger and possibly even hatred he's hiding from us. Dustin mentions there's a "human" in the estate who's eyes are always watching and hateful. I'm 90% sure this is Wayne.

I think the "compare and contrast" between Avery and Wayne is that Avery is an example of a positive loving friend who wants to make connections but is often feeling left out and lonely so they try their best to make sure no one else feels that way.

Meanwhile Wayne is an example of a toxic obsessive person who crosses boundaries and is hostile to anyone he deems a threat to the person he "cares" about. I get the impression that Wayne is jealous of our connection with the other characters in the story too and wants to show us that we don't need anyone but him.

Also a quick tidbit but I think "Wayne" is nonbinary like Avery but we refer to him using masculine pronouns because the spirit is possessing a man's body.

But that's all I have for now! I'll be making my Kaneeka and Reese post next so stay tuned!

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Easily Overlooked Autistic Traits

Lil Penguin Studios/Autism Happy Place

[hrizantemy]

It’s frustrating to see how often Nesta is misrepresented in fan art and discussions because it feels like her complexity as a character is being overlooked or flattened. Canonically, she has no issue baring herself to her sexual partners or Cassian, demonstrating her confidence and control in those private moments. But socially, she prefers modesty, favoring conservative, structured clothing that projects restraint and distance. This speaks volumes about her personality: she’s guarded, self-contained, and deliberate in how she presents herself to the world.

Yet fan interpretations often strip this away, dressing her in skintight, revealing outfits that clash with her established preferences. It’s frustrating because it stems from a broader pattern of reducing strong, complex female characters to oversexualized caricatures. People see Nesta’s strength, her sharpness, and her intensity and equate that with a need to visually sexualize her, ignoring the deliberate choices she makes about how she presents herself.

This trend also feels rooted in a misunderstanding of her relationship with vulnerability. Nesta doesn’t bare herself to the world easily—whether emotionally or physically. Her modest clothing is a shield, just like her sharp tongue and cutting demeanor. It’s part of what makes her intriguing, but this depth is often erased in favor of the trope of the “seductress” or “bad girl” who must look a certain way.

Meanwhile, Feyre and Elain—who are more open and expressive in their clothing—are often drawn in softer, more modest ways, which only highlights how much Nesta is unfairly singled out for this treatment. It’s not about denying her beauty or sensuality but recognizing that her power comes from her control and the barriers she chooses to put up—not from flaunting herself in a way that goes against her character.

Ultimately, it’s frustrating because it shows a lack of respect for who Nesta is: a woman who keeps her armor on in public but allows herself to be vulnerable in private, on her own terms. Misrepresenting that in art and fandom spaces undermines the very traits that make her so compelling.

It’s also frustrating how Nesta is always depicted as frowning or scowling in fan art and discussions, as if that’s the only expression she’s capable of. Yes, canonically, she has a sharp and serious demeanor, and she’s not someone who smiles easily, but reducing her to a perpetually angry or sour-faced caricature does her a disservice. Nesta’s stoicism isn’t just about anger—it’s about control, restraint, and a lifetime of guarding herself against the world.

Her frown is often misinterpreted as one-dimensional hostility, but it’s far more nuanced than that. She’s worn down by grief, guilt, and a fear of vulnerability that she’s had to carry for years. Her guarded expressions are part of her armor, much like her preference for modest clothing. They’re not just signs of anger; they’re signs of someone who has endured pain and refuses to let anyone see her break.

And while she may not beam with joy at every turn, it’s canon that she has moments of softness and humor, especially with those she lets into her inner circle. She smirks, she teases, and she even laughs—especially in the company of Gwyn and Emerie, where she feels safe enough to drop her guard. These moments may be rarer, but they’re crucial to understanding her character, and they’re often erased in fan portrayals that insist on making her look like she’s constantly angry or unpleasant.

This persistent depiction feels like it stems from a misunderstanding of Nesta’s character. People take her strength, her pride, and her refusal to be anything but authentically herself as a reason to paint her as bitter or unkind. But Nesta’s journey is one of rediscovering herself, learning to let others in, and finding moments of joy and purpose. Reducing her to a permanent scowl ignores her growth, her resilience, and her complexity.

Nesta isn’t just angry—she’s guarded, hurt, and healing. And while she may not be the type to smile easily, when she does, it’s all the more meaningful. Fan portrayals should capture the full range of her character, not just the parts that fit into an oversimplified “ice queen” mold.

[ouaw-facts-i-just-made-up]

I have some thoughts on Remy Garou and Kremy as someone who has only see clips out of context from Prime (and also an obvious lover of OUAW). Major spoilers for probably both but definitely Prime. Also brief discussions of SA (mostly me just bringing up what others have characterized Garou as and why I think that it's not *wrong* to do but not really interesting, to me.)

Often, Garou's the sort of antagonist in coalecroux fics, like specifically a wedge in their relationship where usually he was the previous """"partner"""" of Kremy. Sometimes that's because Kremy *did* have a crush on him but ended up feeling less and less happy and more fearful, a lot of times it's just Garou abusing his power to get his rocks off like a fucking creep.

Now is this an incorrect interpretation? Not necessarily, we don't have much context surrounding their relationships. But, as much as i enjoy some of the fics that have this as a plot point, I don't actually like it that much as a concept.

What do I think their relationship was like? Well I think it comes down to two possibilities, judging by what I know of him;

1) Garou had him as a sort of protege, perhaps finding some sort of kinship with him as, while Kremy isn't a dragonborn, dragons are commonly associated with reptiles in a lot of cultures, and especially dnd. And even beyond that, he may have found his sly, conniving personality to be a good fit for his hoard.

Personally I find this compelling, I imagine he may have had many proteges, but helping Kremy become a warlock makes it seem like perhaps he could have been a favourite, or at least was good at his job.

Having little pawns do your dirty work so that you can overlook and sieze more control of your hoard it probably what drew him to the position he's in now anyway.

2) Remy Garou could not actually give less of a shit about Kremy.

This seems most likely to me. The debt was petty, yes, but most likely less personal than you'd think. A piece of his so precisely controlled possessions slipped away, like a button popping off your jacket. Of course he wants to sew it back on, make sure it never yearns to leave again, lest it ruin your immaculate appearance.

He'd do it to anyone else, if anybody else had escaped and lived to tell the tale. But it's just Kremy. Just business.

Now, for either of these possibilities, I can see an extra factor at play; Kremy having a crush on him. With the way he describes him, whether it's the power or just the fact that he has an obvious type, I *do* believe he may have had some sort of desire to be with him, an easily manipulated trait.

And, well, let's be real here, Kremy isn't subtle. If he did have a crush, Garou most certainly sniffed it out.

For the 1st option, he could have easily strung him along, not exactly acting romantic, but using the fact that he wanted to be with him against him. Garou had no interest at all, and if he didn't like actually have a child I'd say he was actively repulsed by the thought. But oh isn't it nice when a few compliments and nice smiles gets such an efficient worker to do almost anything?

And in the 2nd option, the above could have been true as well, but I also wanted to say that my brain immediately conjured an imagine of Kremy being head over heels and Garou being like "can you lock the fuck in right now please".

Now, overall, I think I'd characterize Garou as being just like Kremy, but with confidence based in actual immense power. Not only that, but where Kremy has *some* morals (mostly relating to his friends or being opposed to sending innocent people to their deaths for no reason), Garou has a code, but not morals. Awgé is his. The people in it are his. As long as they act nice and play along, well he's just a humble fisherman. If one were to disrupt his peace, by, say; running away, attempting to swindle him, attempting to kill him or attack his things, etc....well he's not obligated to stand there and take it now is he?

He is, essentially, what Kremy would be like if he truly got what he wanted, but even that is not the whole truth. Kremy could never be Garou because of his past, which he attempts to run away from, and his shaky but still present morals, which is also attempts to distance himself from. Garou is what Kremy wants to be and never can be, and that's a good thing.

Garou would not have befriended any of the Krew, unless for the purposes of improving Agwé. Garou wouldn't have started a fucking carnival of all things. He is an all powerful dragon warlock, who has a city under his thumb, and consistently lies about himself without fear of losing some sense of identity or loathing himself or hearing the call of the void because who fucking cares. I'm a dragon go fuck yourself.

And Kremy is just a little lizard nipping at his heels. And when pets are presenting undesirable traits, you train it out of them.

[verdantwyrm]

I read your ‘Curly is not an abuser’ post over on twitter and started crying. My thoughts were “f@cking finally, someone who might’ve gotten it,” because the main reason I was crying was because I deeply relate to Curly in some ways. With how everyone was saying ‘Curly is an Abuser!’ ‘Curly is a bad person!’ I started to feel about bit bad about myself because of that.

We both have a hard time getting the underlined meaning of things or hints, whether it’s in story, talked about, or shown. We don’t see it until someone quite literally points it out to us or just start talking about the hidden meaning. I also believe me and Curly are too trusting or lax in some ways. Like not being able to see the bad in people we are close to or talk often with. We might even know about some of the bad qualities beforehand and can still be strung along and be play like an instrument. I also believe that Curly with even a thought of abusing anyone would throw himself before doing. He might even throw himself faster if he actually did that, accident or not.

That is not to say Curly is completely innocent or not to be blamed at all. Those qualities I stated before, while good, are a double edged sword like any other qualities. If we are not careful with them we could end up hurting people around us or ourselves, or get into a big mess of things. That is what Curly should be hold accounted for. Even than, with how people make out to be an abuser I don’t think they can reasonably hold him accountable in the right way, and I am not sure if that makes me sadder.

I totally get where you're coming from Anon. That kind of attitude, being lax, trusting and a constant mediator isn't inherently a problem. It was the circumstances that turned that so volatile. If Jimmy wasn't who he was and so readily abusive then Curly's character would not be that detrimental, and his actions would not have such a catastrophic impact. And everyone immediately boiling down those harmless traits and villainising them does much more harm than good, especially since the character they should be targeting is Jimmy, not Curly.

Looking at it through Curly's eyes he was just doing the best he could in that situation, and it's even more understandable especially with exactly what he does. He tries to completely bubble Jimmy into this sense of just him and Curly, he makes no mention of anyone else, nothing else. He grounds him, "It's just us" or "we will figure it out", this is fawning. He's appealing to the perpetrator to reduce the fallout in any way. Which is definitely something he has done previously as mentioned in the How Fish Is Made DLC and Curly's little monologue about how it's just another trip, just until he gets what he needs, that he has big plans!

This is definitely something Curly used on Jimmy, and even more with how quickly he shuts down at the birthday party he is used to this, and Jimmy has been abusing him for a very long time. Long enough to put the seeds of doubt in Curly to not make him question or argue against his treatment.

And you're right about Curly throwing himself infront of everyone because he does it literally. The most important part that everybody overlooks is how determined he is to get to the cockpit as the ship is crashing. He knows its crashing but all he can do is try, he could have ran away, but he didn't. And again with how after Anya tells Jimmy about her pregnancy, Curly says that she should have waited for him because he wanted to be there just in case.

Curly took responsibility multiple different times that is easily overlooked because so much happens in such a short time span that people literally think he had months between knowing about Anya being raped and then the crash when it was barely a day. Just like how people easily overlook the dead pixel scene and how it also represents something to Curly as well, and just like how people overlook Anya's "I told you so"

This game is multifaceted with the biggest, main issue of all being Pony Express' negligence and abuse towards their employees which then weakens the vulnerable and enables people like Jimmy. It happens all the time in real life absolutely everywhere. All of this could have been entirely avoided if they weren't neglecting the safety of their most vulnerable and had actual locks on the doors.

Curly's kind, forgiving and trusting nature is not inherently bad. It was how it was used against him in an extremely difficult situation, which is exactly what Abusers do time and time again. He failed Anya in such a delicate way and in such a difficult situation, but its something to understand that Pony Express failed her first, failed her in all the most important ways by even allowing a situation like this to happen. It was Jimmy's responsibility to not be a rapist, but it was Pony Express for even enabling that in the first place.

[skk-fan-page]

I promise I took my meds, hear me out: this

Can give us insight into this

So: before we get into what it means, I'm going to tell you why these things are related. 15 is probably the best text we have when it comes to dissecting their relationship, and in 15, dazai says 2 things that relate to both raging romantic tension and also dogs.

This, as well as an arguably more loaded section:

This. Now bear with me, I really did take my meds, this second excerpt is almost a one to one copy of the dog treats panel. For those of you who have read 15, you'll know that this scene is the set up for chuuya being forced into the mafia. They duel, the "treats" (the sheep) appear, and then they disappear, and only when dazai walks away do both the dog and chuuya realize theyve been ensnared in a weirdly elaborate trap for someone who's supposed to not want anything to do with them.

Not only that, but it establishes that not only does he call chuuya his dog, but "his dog" is part of his future plans, and part of the reason he even has future plans.

Part of the reason that dazai wants to live at that point is to spend time with chuuya.

Now: with that we get back into the dog treat "duel".

First, I'll let you read it and draw your own links, as long as you promise to leave them in the notes

As a bsd reader, you'll probably know that dazai's plans often revolve around knowing what the other party will do. This is easily reflected in the dog encounter, because dogs don't know anything, and thus their behavior cannot be influenced to an unpredictable point. If you offer a dog a treat, you can count on that dog eating the treat. The problem is that dazai can't connect that motive to the dog's actions, because he specializes in dealings with egotistical people who rank highly in organizations who have massive flaws they overlook. Take him outside of his comfort zone, and he struggles to tilt things in his favor.

This analysis overlooks one teensy massive character trait that shapes the character: Dazai is the type to step on a rake, hit himself in the balls, and stick the landing so well that everyone thinks it was on purpose.

You can only tell what's "the plan" versus what is just improv by how hard he tries to sell that he's in control.

With this new lens, seeing how hard dazai tries to assert "the difference in [his status]" with the dog almost entirely colors the interaction as some sopping wet loser loses at his own game that he started against a small animal.

And now: how does this effect the skk reunion and how does it reflect on their previous relationship?

Well, I'm going to pull out some "oh holy shit... I mean, I meant to do that!" Moments

This man is going back and forth like it's his job. He doesn't know what to expect because chuuya is far beyond his comfort zone. Hes everything that should make him predictable, and yet he never is. Every time he's taken aback by his target not reacting the way he "should" he pulls another trick out from his sleeve. Even literally, in the lock picking case. Whenever he needs to try to assert that he totally planned this, he goes for another trick.

As with the dog, when dazai walks away, the only thing chuuya was left with was a distinct sense of "this guy needs friends." They're both low stakes interactions that are born from dazai not expecting something and not knowing how to regain control of the situation.

This implies that dazai just doesn't know how to deal with a straightforward person and thus can never predict what chuuya will do, because he runs on an unswayable internal logic that makes him as difficult to manipulate as a human can possibly be.

As a partnership, they're constantly confusing the fuck out of each other, because dazai is weird and eats dog treats, and because chuuya cannot be understood with the logic dazai excels in.

They know each other but they can never hope to understand each other.

[jasmineandcedar]

"Elain's large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that" | Elriel and mutual understanding

Not only is there mutual attraction between Elain and Azriel, as can be seen most blatantly in the bonus chapter. Even more importantly, the entire foundation of their relationship is built upon a quiet, mutual understanding that we have seen develop ever since ACOMAF – where Elain turned to Azriel for quiet reassurance already during their first meeting (and a seemingly self-conscious Azriel started spouting poetry at her). Let’s look at how this mutual understanding is depicted in the bonus chapter.

He offered her a smile back. "I wasn't sure if I should give you your present." He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much. Elain's large brown eyes flickered, well aware of all that. Just as he knew she was well aware of why Azriel so rarely came to family dinners these days.

This is not two people solely lusting after each other. It is true that in this moment they are lusting after each other. But this lust is not built on a superficial physical attraction. It is built upon something like two years of development of a connection between them that is not reliant on words or physical touch. Is subtle and deeper. We have literally seen it develop on page since ACOMAF where Elain looked to that poetry-spouting Azriel for reassurance during their first meeting. It is mutual understanding (ACOMAF, ACOWAR), leading to mutual attraction (ACOFAS), leading to lust (ACOSF). The mutual understanding is the foundational component. That is, I think, why Azriel’s “lust” comes off as so intense, and why he is in literal pain. Because he isn’t just lusting after some random beautiful girl. He desires someone who he has a deep connection with. And, given Elain’s reaction to him simply touching her neck, she seems to feel the same. We don’t need her POV to tell that.

This connection between them is blatantly obviously depicted through the quiet, wordless, mutual understanding between them. Azriel only has to say he was unsure about whether he should give her his gift, and he knows Elain understands all the nuances of that hesitation. It’s not only that she knows it, but also that he knows that she knows. This is very important. That is not just Elain quietly understanding Azriel. It is a wordless, mutual understanding, an understanding that the other knows your intentions, which is deep. It is the reason they don’t need many words to communicate a lot.

These few sentences tells us the depth of their relationship through their mutual understanding of each other. It could even be considered the classic writing mistake of telling instead of showing, and in doing so treating the reader as lacking the ability to pick up more subtle hints. Yet somehow, some readers seem to entirely miss this explicit display of “tell-don’t-show”. Personally, I think some of it stems from a deep-rooted misunderstanding of quiet and introverted people, and perhaps even something of a dislike of such traits. For fellow introverts and quiet individuals, this is probably not surprising, but it is none the less a little painful to see. With Azriel and Elain, it has always been a few sentences or paragraphs here and there. Its perhaps easily overlooked (it shouldn’t be, but I’m being generous). But if you are a person of few words, words have deep meaning and are easy to pick up on.

Elriel confirmed

These few sentences in the bonus chapter, depicting their mutual understanding, also already confirms that the necklace situation will not end Elriel. Because Elain already knows why Azriel hesitates. And Azriel knows she knows why he hesitates. She quite literally knows he is tormented by the mating bond between her and Lucien and suffers simply being in the near vicinity of it (as seen in the quote above). Him hesitating, with both of them knowing all of the above, is not rejection whatsoever. It is quite frankly the absolute opposite.

Azriel's hesitation is the opposite of rejection because it proves the gift is romantic in its intent. Otherwise, there would be no hesitation, because there would be nothing controversial about a friend giving a friend a gift, and he would have given it to her in front of their family. But he isn’t just a friend giving a friend a gift, is he? A friend wouldn't be tormented by the mere scent of her mating bond. They both know there is more to their feelings for each other, as shown is Elain’s understanding of why Azriel hesitates. And remember, Azriel knows Elain knows he hasn’t rejected her. How do we know this? Because he blatantly states he knows she knows why he has avoided her by not coming to family dinners. Why has he avoided her? He could easily have just rejected her and treated her like a friend and avoided all this trouble. Instead, he has avoided her. Why would he do that? It is because he can’t reject her. Because there are “too many razor-sharp thoughts”, “too many wants and needs”. He wants her. And she knows this, because she understands his feelings towards the mating bond, and why he hasn’t come to family dinners. It is blatant.

All throughout ACOSF, SJM showed instead of told, by depicting Azriel’s actions instead of his inner thoughts. In the bonus chapter, she gave us the cheat sheet and finally tells instead of shows (the most explicit of narrative techniques). She tells us Azriel’s inner thoughts, which give explicit meaning to the actions she showed. She puts Elriel’s mutual understanding explicitly, word for word, on paper, and it still wasn’t picked up by some. I understand why SJM said it would be obvious after ACOSF, because she made it so. And the bonus chapter solidified it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

The necklace situation is not ending Elriel. Such an interpretation is juvenile at best (which is fine), and willfully ignorant at worst (not as fine). The necklace situation is merely a vessel to communicate their mutual attraction, their mutual understanding, and the obstacle that fate represents in the development of their relationship. It will likely never be shallow miscommunication that will be their ultimate enemy, because their relationship is already deeper than that. These are two individuals that don’t even need words to understand each other. It is fate itself, or the corruption of it, that will be their ultimate enemy.

ACOSF and the bonus chapter confirm Elriel beyond a shadow of a doubt. It shows, no, it explicitly tells us, that their relationship is already deeper than some might have picked up on. It confirms to me that it is the two of them challenging fate, manifested by the Cauldron and Elain's mating bond, that will be the obstacle Elain and Azriel will need to overcome in order to fully act on their already established feelings for each other. Were it not for the Cauldron giving Elain a different mate, and all the political implications of that fate, she would have clearly already given Azriel that taste he so desires.