#eah crack

[cometblaster2070]

new ever after high headcanon: cupid is I mean cupid; she's the daughter of the god of love and she literally set up True Heart's Day and runs a podcast to help people with their love-related issues.

what i'm trying to get at is that cupid is THE person to go to if you want advice on romance or love in general yk, and my headcanon is that cupid's advice is usually great, is guaranteed to almost always work; she knows what she's talking about and you should always listen to what she's saying.

but faced with her own relationship??? i know for a FACT this girl is out here making the most atrocious puns EVER and it is only because blondie loves her to hell and back that she bears the horrible attempts at flirting.

essentially; cupid giving the best relationship advice known to man to other people but being a swagless rizzless loser in her own relationship and god knows how and why but blondie's into it so it works???

imagine like:

apple: blondie i really don't understand what you're trying to say; I'm sure cupid's flirting isn't that bad she's cupid after all!

blondie: no apple you don't understand-

cupid spawning into existence: blondie did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine?

apple: ???

blondie: oh no, it's happening again.

cupid: because you're a snack!!! *finger guns away*

apple:

apple: I see what you mean now.

blondie, sobbing: the worst part is I'M INTO IT.

[ruerock]

some ever after high ponifications

[class-of-classic-blog]

Lectures that Badwolf taught his class behind Grimms back:

" 101 way to start a fire"

"Law's loopholes: how to do illegal things in a legal way"

" Poisons and their purposes"

"How to get away with murder"

" The Dark Side of the History: villians won and it got erased from history"

" How to couse mental brakedown ( to someone else)"

" Psychopaths and sociopaths"

"How to get away with numerous crimes"

"Ways of manipulations"

" How to fake your own death : the final plan"

" Faking legal documents"

[gumjester]

DRAWING REQUEST: Milton Grimm

the brothers Grimm…. More like the brothers GAGGGGGGG

[repulsa-2080]

I hope other people find this as funny as I did, cuz I cracked myself up making this.

If it's not clear, this is Duchess if she was meant to be the black swan instead of the white swan. Personally, I've never been a fan of this theory/headcanon because I feel it invalidates Duchess' motivations and feelings towards her story, but does paint a very funny mental image in my head. Thus this was born.

He'll fix her if only because she's more insufferable this way

[dexterouslycharming]

Give me your favorite eah or mh (or a crossover between the two) ships and I will tell you if I ship them or not

[mlem2460]

EAHF:

switched at birth au & y it ADDS to the story instead of taking away fr it

1) i get y people dont like the 'apple & raven being switched at birth' reveal undermining their whole stances on the storybook & their destinies cause that WOULD BE redundant & a terrible execution HOWEVER

2) think of the ✨possibilities✨

3) of the absolute ABUNDANCE OF ARCS available to all after the reveal

raven's frustration at everyone FINALLY believing she can be good, but only because they are ONCE AGAIN reducing her to her BIOLOGY rather than her actual character n struggling the keep her stance for choice over destiny & running the risk of rejecting the acceptance that she's been chasing being within her reach for all the wrong reasons, (extra spice for having to face resentment from some rebels for her new storybook happy ever after & no longer being encouraged to have outbursts but expected to have the emotional intelligence of a white after being partially raised by the most deranged queen in history)

apple being left by so many royals (not all tho, be fr) for being 'evil' & not knowing if she should be upset cause yes: they're supposed to friends, but no: they are following their destinies as they should, but yes: if she's supposed to be evil now resentment is good-but in an evil way? cue a jekle&hyde level of seconded guessing & doubt because she was raised to be good & she has strived to be kind everyday of her life but now she has to be evil to follow her destiny & oh this feels horrible, should she apologize to raven for the pressure she placed on her?, but no she's evil now and she shouldn't apologize for anything ever, but she feels horrible, but if she's evil is she supposed to feel horrible?, or should it feel good to do bad?, what does she do??

royals having to decide if they're more committed to being good friends or following their destinies

rebels having to decide if they want their leader to sign for a happy ending most of them dont get, resent her for that same ending, or pressure her into staying a rebel the same way the were pressured to follow their destinies

dexter panicking cause yeah! raven is amazing & everyone should see it, but oh gosh pls dont let daring be her prince that would be too much, but he wasnt supposed to be prince charming either?!?

briar struggling to support her friend (cause obv she not abandoning apple) but not knowing how to help apple in her struggle to try to stick to being a royal as the new evil queen when she herself is a rebel

maddie being 10 toes down for her bestie since day one & accidentally wreaking havoc on royals who cant actually be mad cause that's the mad hatters daughter & trying to make her conform would encourage rebel ideals of going against ones destiny but HOW IS THE TEA ROOM UPSIDE DOWN & THE GOWNS OH FOR THE LOVE O-

royals, sidekicks, henchmen, villagers, etc all across the kingdom now having concerns about children whos traits dont line up with their parents or whatever else

i personally hope grimm has an aneurism

it's easy to say the evil queen switched them for sh*ts n giggles & thats fun for its own reasons BUT what about the infinite possibilities of other culprits??? snow white sees her daughter has dark magic? switched. whoever ravins dad is tryna get back at the evil queen? switched. random bumbling henchman/sidekick doing a lil whoopsie? switched. concerned citizen tries to keep innocent child fr the evil queen & the delirious post-labour evil queen tries to take back her child? switched. jealous ex-lover or bitter sidelined sibling/relative? switched. magic? switched. hotel? trivago switched.

A N D every characters stance, feelings, etc are changed depending on how & y the switch even happened in the first place

In Conclusion:

don't let this au flop because of poor execution

[skrunklydoo]

(context: in the ever after high au, libber (jay’s mum) is the mad hatter and geo is the son of robin hood (or the equivalent of))

geo: hi miss hatter!! 😁😁😁

libber: just call me libber geo

geo: ok miss libber hatter!! 😁😁

libber: …do you want some tea 😀👍

[eah-thefightingame]

Hellooo i need the help of anyone who has read the EAH books 💕💕 tell me if i'm missing any ship!

Canon:

Raven×Dexter

Ashlynn×Hunter

Alistair×Bunny

Daring×Rosabella

Hinted at (either in Canon or by the writers):

Apple×Darling

Duchess×Sparrow

Poppy×Sparrow

Cerise×Daring

Lizzie×Daring

Ginger×Hopper

I'm not including one-sided crushes (Cupid×Dexter, Briar×Hopper) nor breakups (Apple×Darling). If you know of any other ships please let me know!!

[cometblaster2070]

i can imagine raven frantically texting in the "help apple realize she's gay af" gc at 5 in the morning after dragon games like 'someone send HELP she's discovered chappell throne I can't do this alone'

she gets a thumbs up from kitty and a pep talk from ashlynn but everyone else leaves her on seen and abandons her to the wolves.

[anywaysiesx3]

not eah related but you guys I just found Chappell Roan and YOU GUYS IM HOOKED HELP ME, what is this MAGIC? if you never heard her and you're a gay girly too, please check her out you'll LOVE HER.

[class-of-classic-blog]

Do you think the Good King had friends who were not royalty? Because I honestly see him capable of having hit it off with Badwolf (Not necessarily a friendship but they do get along well) I also see the Evil Queen getting jealous of anyone who is with the Good King.

yeah. he was definetly friends with Badwolf, Pinocchio and Mad Hatter. I think that he had quiet a lot friends who were royal growing up becuse of his status, but then when he got disowned due to his destiny he was slowly going low contact with royals and starting to spend more time with commoners.

He still has a very close friendship with Mad Hatter and Pinocchio

[whorishmoon]

dogs: woof

cats: meow

the thing under my bed that watches ever after high theory and analysis videos obsessively: i just think that apple white has a lot of nuance as a character and shouldn’t be judged so preemptively-

[oklotea]

I was rewatching eah season one, and I got to the Maddie-in-chief episode. And OH MY GOD did this single episode hold so much potential as a full-fledged special.

Just imagine with me for a second, before EAH asks huge questions about autonomy, the true reality of Ever Afterian society, or what secrets lie in Milton Grimm's head, they make a point to truly bring your attention to the underlying classism and favoritism in ever after.

It could have been the first crack that would eventually lead to them questioning Milton Grimm even further, and finding Giles, and eventually finding out the storybook of legends had been a fake.

AND OTHER SUCH IDEAS, I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!

We could have gotten the chance to develop Maddie's character further. They had strongly implied that Maddie was much more smarter than what you may first assume, what is it with that? How do those skills properly show themselves? Not just in debate, but on a daily basis? How is Maddie intellectual in a way only the wonderlandians can see? And better yet, how has the people in ever after high chose to neglect her and her skills?

THIS HYPOTHETICAL SPECIAL COULD HAVE BEEN AN AMAZING TIME TO ESTABLISH THE WONDERLAND CURSE AND HOW KITTY, MADDIE, AND LIZZIE HAVE BEEN DISPLACED FOR A GOOD HALF OF THEIR LIFE!!!!!!!

It could have been such a great moment to make the audience care about Maddie, and possibly the wonderlandians, even further.

We could have gotten Apple's first bit of character development, found in her earnestly looking at the non-royal characters as people equal to her, because let's be real, if we looked at the way she saw non-royals/commoners in the first book as something to build off of, it obviously comes off as disingenuous.

Maybe at the first half of the story, Apple is very sweetly and discreetly underestimating Maddie. Maybe going on behind her back about how, even though she admires Maddie's bravery, she doubts there'll even be any competition.

Only for as the special goes on, Apple watches how Maddie is actually a very talented, formidable and driven opponent

How will they show this?????? UHHHHH I HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT YET

BUT COMPETENT, AND GENUINELY DEPENDABLE STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT CANDIDATE MADDIE IS A CONCEPT THAT COULD BE SOOOO SO JUICY

Like.... She's the kind of person who could be handed over an entire pile of student council work, the likes of which even sends a shiver down Apple White's spine, but thanks to the effects of wonderland, and wonderlandian photographic memory (I have no idea if that's a thing that only Lizzie has in wonderlandiful world but...... BUT LET ME COOK!!!! AGRHEGRGSVD) MADDIE IS DEPENDABLE, SHE HAS SKILLS THAT SHOW HER POTENTIAL AS A STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT!!!!! And not only that, she's got a big heart, and she cares about her friends and fellow non-royals very deeply, and just, having a non-royal as a student council president would be a huge step forward before all the crazy shit that would eventually happen in the future webisodes and specials.

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THE OG WEBISODE WOULD HAPPEN ONLY WITH THE STAKES MUCH MORE HIGHER, AND A MUCH MORE SERIOUS TONE

And Maddie decides herself that she wants to work alongside Apple, because she can see just how genuinely dedicated and talented Apple is, and with that, Apple's character development for the special is wrapped into a neat bow, and from then on her and Maddie being student council presidents is an IMPORTANT THING that gets BROUGHT UP

Like in Dragon Games, we could have hypothetically gotten Maddie walking up to Apple, sadly asking her how she could allow the dragon games to happen, and better yet how her mom can allow the evil queen to walk free!

Maddie requests that, since she doesn't have as much leverage over Snow White, how about Apple takes some action to stop the games and convince her mom to take the evil queen hostage once again?

Only for Apple to visibly be racking her brain, and snapping at Maddie, telling her she can't do that, and the games must go on.

It would have really sucked and it would have hurt and it would have been amazing.

That's just ONE example I've got on Apple and Maddie being co-presidents being acknowledged.

Apple and Maddie could have had a more defined dynamic.... It would have been interesting seeing two characters who are so drastically different in how they function being in such close proximity to one another, and having to work closely with each other!

Alright, my final point in proving to you maddie-in-chief should have been it's own special issss.......

JUST IMAGINE THE DOLLS

Here's what I have in mind,

Pin striped suit Madeline Hatter

Pillbox hat, pencil skirt Apple White

VERY MUCH PRESIDENT ELECTION CODED

I jotted down some scrappy sketches to show you what I mean

It's not the best, I spent like, 5 minutes on it, but YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYINH

YOU DO

I TRUST THAT YOU DO

THEY'RE BOTH WEARING SASHES THAT HAVE EACH OF THEIR SLOGANS ON

Maddie obviously wearing a sash that says, "Hats over Crowns" Cause that's iconic

And Apple wears something more, idk royally conservative???!???? Something with the sentiment that, the Royal way is the better way, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. YOU GET IT.

And we're not stopping with just Maddie and Apple! Even though they are both the crown jewels of this student council president election doll line (someone come up with a better name, god bless), the rest of the line consists of a handful of Apple supporters, and a hatful of Maddie supporters. Their groupies, per se.

All of them in dresses or suits, whatever it is, very much business formal, or business casual, they all look quite prim!

That's all I got so far on the maddie-in-chief special concepts.

If anyone wants to build upon them, by all means do so!!!! I would love to see what you people come up with!!! :D

Alrighth, take care everyone. Thanks for making it this far

[kwamihitman]

Ever after high thronecoming is such good fiction. Because the weeks leading up to Thronecoming, all the kids are conducting business as usual. going to class, lunch with friends, homework, with the occasional festive excitement of going in for a dress fitting or rehearsing your ballroom dance. And I’m sure there are moments where, as an EAH student, you’re just barely able to distract yourself from how dreadful the reality of the situation is about to be.

But then you hear the word “book” or “choice” out of context and this pit forms in your stomach, and you’re suddenly reminded that in 8 days or whatever, your entire graduating class is going to parade down a field in the middle of the night like some kind of medieval catholic ritual, and crack open a dusty magic book, pick up a quill, and sign away the rest of their lives to be poisoned, hunted, betrayed, or murdered by their classmates, their roommates, their lab partners.

And then suddenly you’re thinking about Rachel from your history class, who is supposed to push a fucking boulder up a hill for the rest of time, or accidentally insult a member of the fae and spend her life as a fir tree. And you’re like. Hold on. Rachel wears lululemon. She drinks ice coffee and has brown hair like a chestnut and has never said a single bad word about anyone ever. She borrowed a blue pen from you a week ago in the middle of class. She’s just Rachel, and she’s supposed to be subject to her mother’s destiny regardless of her own will or wants or dreams or goals? She’s supposed to be complacent?

And you’re thinking about how one day you’ll be old and weathered, rocking back and forth on a porch somewhere watching your grandchildren play, and she’ll still be on some hill pushing a fucking boulder to the top? You’ll be rotting in some grave under a nice kind tombstone and she’ll still be pushing up that goddam boulder! Ever After High dystopian reboot when?

[aschenbroedel]

eah snow white and evil queen hcs because i have class of classics brain damage

when snow is nervous she mutters the last lines of the snow white story under her breath

every time snow visits eq she will stand outside the door of the mirror room and repeat the lines until she feels ready to enter (though she never fully does)

after eq’s release (dragon games) but before they pick team captains, snow breaks into eq’s room (one of ever after high’s guest rooms where milton is letting her stay) and sees her for the first time in a long time without her headdress on

snow’s first thought - absurdly - is that she looks unnaturally small without it

the night before they pick captains, eq asks snow, “do you think my little birdie is going to play for me?”

snow tells her no

milton gives eq the largest room in the castle, but she is never actually going to use the bed - she is too unstable and restless for sleep

eq has insomnia

eq has hand tremors

they’re both underweight, but eq is emaciated

when they were younger they used to climb to the top of the highest towers of the school and map out the arena together

in the last game of their senior year, a beanstalk had grown to block snow’s signature route

snow steered her dragon directly into it anyway

snow won the game for her team and graduated with three cracked ribs and a mottled indigo stomach

her dragon, paralysed from the neck down, died of sadness a little before her coronation

when she has nothing else to think about (which is rarely), she wonders why it obeyed

snow’s posture is always perfect; beside the slouchy eq, she looks brittle

their last game still gives snow bad dreams

snow has dreamed of dying every night since that game, and of eq every night since eq was locked away

snow couldn’t sleep more than an hour at a time after graduation because she didn’t know when eq would come to poison her

snow was scared to die before eq could poison her

when snow woke up after the game (in an incredible amount of pain) flat on her back in the grass, her first thought was to get baba yaga to call eq over so that she could do it right away

eq could have - she carried snow’s apple everywhere

the poison apple spell was the first spell eq ever learned

they were so young when their mothers read the story to them, they don’t remember that it happened - only how it felt

between them, snow is actually the first to wonder if maybe the storybook of legends isn’t as powerful as they were taught

because snow knew in her heart that she could have died during that game, and that having signed the storybook in her legacy year would not have protected her

eq disagrees, and gets testy when snow voices this

after all eq used the book to take over the fairy-tale world

eq dry-heaved when raven dissolved it

eq’s voice is derisive even when she doesn’t actively mean to be, as though derision is what she based on

eq looks startlingly young when her hair is damp and obscures her cheekbones

snow seldom looks young anymore, but her eyes still have that disarming baby animal quality

even in a state of relaxation eq’s body is always contorted somehow - limbs angled unnaturally, bones protruding where they shouldn’t be, shadows distorting her features

they have forgotten each other’s true names - storybook magic

every once in a while snow asks (subtly) for eq’s name, but never receives it

this wounds her deeply, though she’ll never admit it

because milton refused to do anything about the beanstalk, snow returned to the arena after her prince woke her and had her seven dwarves raze it to the ground

though when snow talks about the past, she never says “after my prince woke me” - she says “after i was poisoned”

when snow sees an apple, her mouth aches and her skin starts to feel sore to the touch - like a child with a fever

snow has a bad habit of gnawing on her lips until they bleed, but it’s hard to tell from afar because they’re already blood red

some time after the events of the show snow’s mental and physical states begin to deteriorate rapidly

apple’s coronation has to happen prematurely because her mother has become useless as queen and can’t do a thing except sleep for days straight in her glass coffin and argue with the shadowy woman in the mirror (who only sometimes argues back)

when snow sleeps for days, she dreams things are different