#e.g. trolley problem & me

[kiralamouse]

I mean. The reason I stopped trying to fully engage with the trolley problem? Is that I fundamentally can't believe that there are only two possible outcomes. Intellectually, I know that sometimes the possibilities are limited, and it's feasible that the only possible action to affect the outcome would be pulling a lever (or failing to do so). But trying to imagine the scenario, I just imagine myself desperately looking for a third possibility until it's too late. How do I know I can't go save that person? How do we know there's nothing else present to help the trolley stop, or flip it off the track by putting the lever in between? Only what I've been told by an unknown source that I haven't had time to verify.

And honestly, very few crises are so fast-moving that you can't take time to evaluate whether you've been appraised correctly of all the possibilities! How many cop shootings happen because the cop didn't see an alternative besides "shoot the suspect" and "risk everyone else"? How many of those shootings are valid cost/benefit analyses and how many are the result of fear and tunnel vision?

This isn't me changing the subject - it's similar to a longstanding version of the problem!

Suppose that a judge or magistrate is faced with rioters demanding that a culprit be found for a certain crime and threatening otherwise to take their own bloody revenge on a particular section of the community. The real culprit being unknown, the judge sees himself as able to prevent the bloodshed only by framing some innocent person and having him executed.

Abstracting away the emotional impact of bearing responsibility for a human death - that's a vital skill if you're in a position of peril, where everyone can't be saved, or enough power that (again) everyone can't be saved and some WILL suffer harm. But it's a skill I've never needed, and I've given up trying to develop it solely for the case of a hypothetical with an obvious intellectual answer. (I'd be open to trolley problem variants where the intellectual answer is tricky enough that just trying to figure it out would let me abstract everything away.)

The root of my frustration with a lot of trolley problem discourse is that 'What does it mean to act ethically in a world where shitty luck and the actions of strangers you'll never meet have left you without any purely good options?' is, like, possibly one of the most relevant and universally applicable questions moral philosophy might help answer.

Saying it's a bad question because it's the negligent trolley engineer's fault literally exactly misses the point - yes how to deal on a personal level with systems and infrastructure that designed without much care for human collateral damage is an incredibly useful thing to think about!

[penny-anna]

Here is my 2cents on some current discourse:

In my experience, the way the Trolley Problem is actually used in ethics classes isn't to seriously attempt to answer the question but to examine the knee jerk moral judgements people make & how they change when the variables are altered (e.g. ok so you think the right thing to do is pull the lever. What if instead you had to push someone in front of the trolley to stop it? Does that feel different & if so why?)

Refusing to engage with the premise at all therefore potentially indicates an unwillingness to interrogate your own moral precepts. Refusing to use it as an argument in actual ethical & political situations is however totally reasonable IMO. My take is that irl there's never actually going to be a binary choice of that nature.

Additionally wanting to interrogate the scenario in the trolley problem strikes me as a perfectly worthwhile way to continue the conversation. e.g. does it make any difference to your answer if the trolley malfunction was an act of god Vs negligence on the part of the company?

Anyway for what it's worth, iirc the original author of the trolley problem ultimately came to the conclusion that it would be wrong to pull the lever. So make of that what you will ig!

[cavedraconem]

Local Maximums

A while back I read an opinion piece my a woman who was upset about the state of grocery shopping these days. I can't really disagree with the basic premise that food in NZ is too expensive and this causes a lot of trouble for people who are living paycheck to paycheck. And shopping at the supermarket can be pretty stressful for a variety of reasons!

BUT, when the writer started to describe her shopping process... it was a massive odyssey. Of a Saturday she was dragging herself and her kids through multiple different shops - a Pak n Save, a Countdown, a fruit & veggie shop, maybe even a butcher as well - looking for the cheapest everything to stretch her budget, the particular whatever her husband wanted, the brand of snacks that her autistic child would eat. Of course she was sitting in traffic and fighting for parking and struggling with the kids and navigating trolleys at every single one of these locations. It sounded incredibly stressful! And she was incredibly stressed about it by the time she got home (and so were the kids).

"Surely just buying food shouldn't be this difficult?" she cried. And, well... no, I don't think it should be. Obviously I don't know every detail of this woman's life and I probably have extreme DINK privilege, but the ordeal she tried to pose as relatable seemed to me largely self-inflicted. Some of these issues seem trivially solvable: if you know your kid will only eat one type of snack, why wouldn't you just buy ten boxes at once? Can you plan ahead and click & collect any of these shops so you don't have to drag the kids around the supermarket itself? Can you pop out by yourself on a quiet evening?

And then we get into some more speculative cost-benefit questions that will depend on the exact details. Are the vegetables from the fruit & veggie shop cheaper enough to make up for the petrol you spend driving there? (Petrol is also expensive in my beautiful country.) What value do you really place on your time and stress? Is the money saved or the special thing for your husband really, genuinely worth the effort? If you are doing all of this work to save money, could you instead work a bit more to earn more money instead? Add a couple of extra hours a week onto your contract so you can afford to shop at a nicer supermarket or get groceries delivered, and save that much time or more on the weekend, plus less screaming from your children.

(By the way, I got that last idea from an old flatmate of mine. His philosophy was that it was better for him to work an extra hour every night and get takeaways for dinner than to spend that hour cooking something cheaper but not very good. I would have been more convinced by this [and his related opinions about division of labour] if he hadn't been allowing his PhD student girlfriend to cook him literally three meals a day.)

Anyway, this writer spectacularly failed to make her problems relatable to me, but there probably is something to be learned here. It's about how easy it is to reach a local maximum in your life: where you look at what you're doing and think, this is the best way I could possibly be doing it. But you're wrong! Maybe you've optimised your routine along one axis (e.g. cost) but totally neglected other axes (e.g. time/stress). You're making tradeoffs that you don't realise you're making. Things that you think are non-negotiable might actually be pretty easy to compromise on. It can take an outside perspective and a bit of convincing or experimentation to even realise that other possibilities exist, and maybe some of them are even better than what you're doing now.

So, in the end it's a good reminder to me to question my routines and ask whether I've trapped myself in any local maximums. What is stressing me out now that could be easier? Does everyone else have so much trouble with this? What opportunities am I missing? Surely it shouldn't be this difficult?

[turtlemagnum]

i definitely feel like in a fictional apocalypse scenario, trying to spare a known shithead (e.g. a raider) who shows no signs of wanting to reform isn't actually nonviolent, it's allowing greater violence to happen to others that you could've prevented; it's like a far less complex trolley problem where the 1 person you'd need to switch the tracks to put the other 5 people there on purpose. this leads to what i'd argue is one of the bigger problems with fist of the north star: ken's irresponsible passivity

from what i've seen, this was definitely far more of a problem earlier on (mostly before the final fight with shin). even later on as it has been, sometimes ken will do nothing when the villain's about to fucking murder somebody, and i get that from a narrative standpoint it's to sacrifice a no-name to make ken that much more righteous in his anger, but it feels kind of fucking obnoxious when our hero's just standing there doing jack shit.

i will say, though, this has absolutely gotten a lot better as the series has progressed. and i think this sorta coincides with ken becoming more... ruthless? is probably the best word for it, and i mean it in the best way possible. he still absolutely keeps that tenderness and kindness intact, and i think that's definitely a core part of his character (which is a good thing, imo), but it definitely feels like he has less reservations about going all out, y'know? it actually leads to some extremely funny moments, made all the better with ken's deadpan autism delivery (i laughed so fucking hard when he whacked the old man stuck to the Totally Not Goku's Power Pole into the dirt and said "could you please guide me without the commentary?", like the fact that he was so polite and straight-faced about bashing a man against the dirt makes it so much more funny to me)

i definitely feel like fist of the north star, as well as pretty much any other well written series with an absurdly overpowered protagonist, has to be treated a bit like a superman story. the thing that makes a good superman story interesting isn't if The Guy Himself is gonna get hurt, fucking of course not, he's goddamn superman; it's the people he has to protect you have to worry about. that's why the best thing to do with a protagonist with godly powers is to give them loved ones and honestly just a general appreciation for all life, y'know? it gives you stakes, and even if it's a no-name to you, the fact that any life getting snuffed out would affect the protagonist deeply is what makes you yourself care, at least if done right. but i think fist of the north star kinda moves a bit beyond this in a kind of beautiful way

when ken's fighting jagi, there's that moment when jagi's monologuing about how he went so far out of his way to fuck up ken's life personally, and ken just fucking loses it. and he gives his own little monologue as the blows land, he mentions all the people he didn't know that jagi hurt, he mentions how much yuria and shin hurt because of him, and he pauses for a moment. he pauses, clearly hesitant to say what comes next, but you just know he's about to say exactly what he did: that he's angry for how he himself has suffered because of the bullshit jagi pulled. and there's something deeply cathartic about a self-sacrificing paragon of a hero admitting that they've been hurt too, and that they're not just doing something for the sake of others for once in their life. he still fully keeps others in his heart and mind, but he finally lets himself matter as well, and i think that's beautiful

[imperial--orthodoxy]

All 100 good questions, my friend :)

Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance? Eh, not really. It's not something that's really come up.

Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known? Yes I miss Constantinople

Do you really think there is somebody for everybody? Absolutely

Do you place any value in gender roles? Yes, although everyone is different and as such will have different strengths and roles to play. Also, some roles are poorly understood or warped in a modern sense, but that's a whole essay no one cares about.

Do you have to be related to be family? Absolutely not.

Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? Yes

Are you in love? Do you want to be? I am in love, and married as well.

Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation? It's definitely in categories - anyone with enough life experience can easily attest to that. The love I have for friends like you (even if you like to slam me with asks like these ;)) is just as strong as say, my love for my family, but they definitely manifest in diffferent ways.

Would you be happy with a life without romance?  Can't honestly say I would be!

Are you always going to be a little in love with somebody? I would certainly hope so!

Would you change your appearance if you could? Have you seen my face? You would too. Smh.

Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.? Not really

Do you believe in reincarnation? No, although I do think something along the lines of ancestral memory exists.

Would you want to be reincarnated? So I can mess everything up again? No, no thank you!

Do you think you’re special, or just another person amongst billions? Can you be both? Nah, I am not special at all.

Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem? It's absolutely important. There are many debates that cannot be effectively solved by reason alone.

Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them? Hmm, not really?

Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? Yes and yes, or else there's no real point to believe in my religion at all. I'm not terribly bothered by people who don't believe, but it's important to me at least, even if I'm a terrible example of an Orthodox Christian.

If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? I always kinda longed for it back whenever I was atheist. I guess I yearned for something beyond

Do you want a grand adventure? Who doesn't?

Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different? Maybe, but I don't tend to dwell on such things.

How long does it take you to fall in love with somebody? Is the sensation of ‘falling in love’ or ‘being in love’ better? Being in love is better, even if the sense of mystery about the former is sort of not as present.

Is love about convenience or something more? Can it be about both? Love by its very nature can be very inconvenient. We as humans are called to think and care about something beyond convenience in my opinion

Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality? To be fair, there isn't much to misunderstand about either imo.

How fluid is your concept of gender and sexuality? An interesting question - it's not fluid at all, but we are also not defined by arbitrary characteristics of personality or anything of that nature.

What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far? Definitely moving down here to Texas by myself.

Are you afraid of growing old? Not really.

Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century? I wouldn't want to live forever in this form at all.

Do you believe in some form of god/s? I believe in the Triune so, yes.

Are your choices fated or of your own free will? Free will for sure, though sometimes circumstances limit choice.

Do you have a hunch about how you’re going to die? Probably doing something stupid

Do you believe in star signs? No

How old do you have to be to be considered an adult? Well, it doesn't really come all at once (even if legally it works out that way) Probably around 25 or so you can be considered a full fledged adult

Was your childhood happy? No lmao although most of that was my own fault

What are you missing from your life? Cars and more cars. SMH

Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? Yes...and yes and no lol

Do opposites attract? Definitely! I could tell you stories lmao

Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago? Not in the slightest tbh

Do you know what you want out of life? More or less

To be continued

[dorefasolsido]

19.

Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance?

Well, not so much. There's a part of me that would like to be more impactful and make a bit more of a difference, but I think the nice thing about being totally insignificant is that you can do almost anything you like, and it doesn't really matter to anyone but you.

Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known?

Well kinda? Sometimes I have that feeling.

Do you really think there is somebody for everybody?

Not really, I think life isn't as simple as that. Some people don't want anyone, and some do, but don't find them. Maybe it's a little sad, but that's how it is sometimes.

Do you have to be related to be family?

Nah. My best friend is like a sister to me. I think found family is very much a thing. A wonderful thing too.

Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones?

Of course.

Are you in love? Do you want to be?

I'm not, and I don't want to be either.

Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation?

I think it can be categorized in the sense that you don't feel exactly the same towards your family, friends, pets, partners, and etc. But ultimately, love is love.

Would you be happy with a life without romance?

Personally, I would be, but my issue is that society thinks I can't be. And sometimes it's difficult to ignore and not wonder if something's actually wrong with me.

Are you always going to be a little in love with somebody?

Nah.

Would you change your appearance if you could?

Hmm, probably some parts. Or maybe I'd change everything and then live my life as a totally different person, sometimes I feel like that would be kind of cool too.

Do you believe in reincarnation?

In a way, maybe. I hope it's real, anyway.

Would you want to be reincarnated?

Yup, I would like to be.

Do you think you’re special, or just another person amongst billions? Can you be both?

I mean, yeah, I think it's possible to be both. As in, of course I'm special, no one else on this planet has the same experiences and thoughts, no one's ever quite had them, and no one ever will. But also, that applies for everyone else too. Everyone's their own universe.

Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem?

Well specifically with the trolley problem, I guess the only real value is that you get to have a little thought experiment and figure out how other people think. Ultimately, there is no correct answer and neither choice is really better than the other.

Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them?

I did come up with one when I was younger, but it was more because the concept sounded fun, not because I really had one.

Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’?

I'm not, so no.

If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why?

No. I mean, I can see how religion can be useful to some people, but I just have no attachment to it. Especially as someone in the LGBTQ+ community.

Do you want a grand adventure?

YES PLEASE

Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different?

I don't think so.

Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality?

Gender, yes, I never really needed to question it much. Sexuality, to an extent, though maybe there's more digging to be done there. Romantic orientation is what I struggle with the most.

What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far?

Probably choosing to my university major. My life would be totally different if I had opted for something else, but at the same time, I don't know if there ever really was an option. Languages were the only thing I wanted to fully commit myself to.

Are you afraid of growing old?

Yes.

Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century?

Yes yes yes. But tbh, it's difficult to explain. Sometimes I don't feel like living at all. And sometimes I'm like, but I have to know what happens to the world next. How can I just leave on a cliffhanger?

Do you believe in some form of god/s?

Maybe, but my god is more like natural energy, I guess. Amoral and completely disinterested in our actions. It may have created us and the universe, and it maybe affects some things here and there, but it never does so to consciously harm or help you. It just does things, like how a hurricane isn't there to kill you and destroy your home on purpose.

Are your choices fated or of your own free will?

I don't think they're fated, but I'm not sure if they're fully made with free will. I mean, our will is often dictated by our nature, and as such, it can't be totally free. And that's why you can sort of predict what someone you know well will do even before they actually do it.

Do you have a hunch about how you’re going to die?

Well maybe, but I'd rather not think about that too much.

Do you believe in star signs?

No, but I have fun with all that stuff.

How old do you have to be to be considered an adult?

Officially 18, unofficially, it really varies from person to person.

Was your childhood happy?

Yes.

What are you missing from your life?

Well, my childhood lol. But tbh, probably adventure.

Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along?

Yes, in a way. We ended up not being that similar after all, or maybe we were too similar for our own good? I'm not sure. Either way, we got along amazingly for about a year, and then it all crashed and burned.

Do opposites attract?

They can, but the bigger question is if they can stick together.

Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago?

I don't know what exactly I expected five years ago, but I don't think it is. Is anyone's life what they expected five years ago with the pandemic drastically changing the world in the meantime?

Do you know what you want out of life?

All I know is I want to travel and see as much of the world as possible.

What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’?

Man this is way too difficult of a question. But anyway, I don't think I'm particularly good or bad. I think I'm just okay.

What fundamentally matters to you?

Probably freedom. I think that's what I crave the most. Just the freedom to be whoever, and do whatever, and go wherever. It's not that I'm trapped or anything, but I also don't feel like I can just up and leave everything behind, which is what I'd like to do sometimes.

Is freewill an illusion?

I kinda said what I think about that earlier.

Do you create art? How do you define art?

Well, I write. I'd say it counts as art.

How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful?

I lie a little too often for my liking. It's not really big and important lies either, it's more like, I don't feel like explaining or I feel like lie makes more sense than the truth, so I just lie. I really want to stop though; I'm annoying myself with that habit. It comes from my even more annoying tendency to people please.

As for is all lying inherently bad, no. I mean, sometimes you lie to make someone feel better. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, we all need our little delusions to stay sane.

Do you want to be remembered after your death? What for?

I don't know. Before I wanted to be remembered as a great writer, but I don't think it's possible anyway.

Is true world peace ever possible?

Nope.

Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others?

Oh yes. And I don't even think I hold myself to very high standards, but they're still higher than for other people.

What do you expect from a friend or partner?

Understanding and support. I would also like them to occasionally listen to me gush about my interests, even if they don't care about them at all.

What question could you ask to find out the most about a person?

The only thing that comes to mind is asking them what they watch on Youtube. I think a lot about your interests, beliefs and political stances can be gauged from that.

Which beliefs do you have that is most likely to be wrong?

I'm usually super optimistic about things, but lately I feel like a lot of those beliefs are wrong.

Can humans really understand the complete nature of the universe, space and time?

Oh I doubt it. I mean, even if we can, I don't think we'll have enough time as species to reach that level.

Is a consciousness what makes someone a person?

Hmm, I don't think it's consciousness exactly. I mean, I believe animals and plants have some form of consciousness too. But I'm not sure how to define what makes a person.

What do you think about artificial intelligence?

I'm curious about where it's going to go. Personally, I wouldn't mind having a robot friend.

Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing?

Sure, but there's nothing wrong with it. I mean, you should try not to neglect your real life entirely, but ultimately, I don't think most people can handle reality without some escapism. It would probably be depressing and boring as hell.

And yes, I very much enjoy escapism. Especially in the last few years. Like, let me just fantasize all day long thanks.

Are we eventually going to ‘run out’ of new combinations for music, art, language, etc.? Is there a limit to human creativity?

I don't think so. Just look at how creative language has been in the past few years! I think each era breeds new kinds of art, music, and language that builds on what came before.

What do you think the next era of music will be like?

Idk, but AI is probably going to be involved. I kinda like how music is now, and I like that genres get blended a lot. I expect even more of that in the future.

What do you think the next era of fashion will be like?

Lol I have zero clue about fashion. For now it seems like whatever K-pop's into will be a big thing overall. But fashion is so unpredictable to me.

Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them?

This is interesting because I think every time is tumultuous and all, but I also can't escape the feeling that we're on the brink of something. Like, something big. I don't know if it's because of AI, or the looming threat of nuclear war, or aliens, but I've had these thoughts since about 2016.

Would you want to meet a clone of yourself? Would you like them?

Yes, I mean, I'm not sure I'd like them, but we could hang out. I think it'd be interesting to see myself like that.

How confident are you, really?

Terribly not confident. There are things I'm fairly confident in, but the issue is that I project a generally unconfident image which then makes other people doubt me, which then makes me doubt myself lol.

How consistent is your perception of time?

I'm not totally sure I understand the question, but I don't think it's consistent at all. Sometimes I feel like it's going too fast, while at the same time feeling it's going slow. It's very confusing and all over the place.

What age should people be allowed to vote? Should children and teenagers be allowed to vote?

I think it's fine the way it is.

How do you feel about the idea ‘an eye for an eye’?

The whole world goes blind. That being said, sometimes it's fine. I mean, sometimes you have to be karma you're hoping for.

What’s the worse thing a person can be?

Rapist, abuser, animal abuser, etc.

How do you feel about monogamy?

I mean, it's fine. I don't feel any particular way about it.

Can you be in love with someone and still fall in love with someone else?

Well it can happen. But if you're in a monogamous relationship, then you either ignore that or let your partner go. Otherwise it's just icky.

What’s the tragedy of your life?

Loneliness, I guess? I think it's always going to be with me, no matter how many people I surround myself with. It's difficult to explain, but sometimes it catches up with me even when I have a bunch of plans and theoretically should be having fun. Like you're missing something but you don't know what.

Would your life make a good play?

It would be boring as shit. I wouldn't watch it myself.

Should people be prosecuted for crimes that weren’t considered crimes at the time?

Hmhmhm, no, I don't think so.

Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation?

Lol no to both.

Do you believe in gender equality in every aspect?

Of course.

Do we have a moral obligation to care for others? To what extent?

I don't think we do. I mean, yeah, you should help people in need. But if someone's actively harming you, why the hell would you still be obligated to care?

Do you crave approval and/or praise?

Ah, probably. Approval, I mean, I don't care about praise that much. I mean, it's nice to hear, but I can live without it.

Is there comedy in all tragedy and tragedy in all comedy?

I don't think so, there are situations that are genuinely just tragic or just comedic, I suppose.

Are you ever going to be satisfied?

Lol probably not.

When you are sad, do you listen to music that conveys your emotions or music that makes you happy?

Uhh I'm not sure, but I think I'm more likely to listen to angry music when I'm sad than to sad music. Happy music doesn't help much in those moments, so.

Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time?

I just pick whatever and go from there, it's not really organized by anything.

Would you marry a friend if they needed you to (e.g. for citizenship)?

I don't want to get married, but actually, sure. It might be easier for everyone that way -- I get the benefits that come with marriage, avoid nagging about being single, and still get to enjoy my romance-free life.

Are you a deep person?

Sure.

Given the chance to live your life on Mars, with no hope of returning to Earth but with the promise of scientific discovery and glory, would you take it?

Yes. Even without the glory and stuff, I'd just go there to grow potatoes like in that one film.

Are you who people think you are?

Yes and no. I think lately I've been much less optimistic than people think I am and I've been far more anxious. But it's not like I project a false image of myself, it's just that I suck at talking about stuff that bothers me. I know everyone has their own thing going anyway, and when I meet with people, I just want to relax and have fun. Plus, I hate when people worry about me. I don't know why, but it makes me physically uncomfortable.

Do you think you would be happier if you had been born a different gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, nationality or religion?

I think I'd have been happier in some other country with other nationality. I'd definitely have an easier time if I was straight too. Generally, the more you fit into the norm, the easier it is, at least from that aspect.

What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it?

Avoidant attachment. I have this awful tendency of "bouncing" as I call it. Like, as much as I enjoy someone's company, I have this irresistible urge to run away if we get too close. So I distance myself for a bit, and then I come back.

The good thing is that I don't go full no-contact or anything like that, but my best friend remarked that there are times I seem colder or more detached. I know there are, and I really hate it, but the thing is that I often catch myself doing it only when it's already done. So it's difficult to fix, but I really want to work on it harder.

Do you anger easily?

No, I'm pretty chill normally.

Are you a jealous person?

Nope.

If you lost all your memories, would you have the same personality?

I doubt it. At least part of it would be gone.

Given the chance to reset your life (with none of the knowledge you currently have), would you take it?

Hmmmmm, with current knowledge I would, but without it, probably not. I would try it if I was a completely different person, but otherwise, I think I'd just follow a more or less similar path, and what's the point then?

Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate?

Well they can be two sides of the same coin. I don't really hate anyone anymore though.

Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn?

Yes, and tbh, I don't know which language I dream in. I feel like even when people in my dreams speak to me, there isn't like a language, it's more like I just know what they're saying.

And I want to learn German fluently, Japanese, and maybe Korean too.

Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them?

I don't usually look for meanings in my dreams. I mean, they're so weird and all over the place.

How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately?

Idk, I guess gently or quietly. I'm not big on displays of affection or grand gestures, but if you want to hang out in silence or chat about whatever, I'm there.

Is unrequited love real love?

Well, yeah.

Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you?

I don't know. I think it's different.

Are you overly analytical?

Definitely. I try to curb that too.

Do you ever feel that you are really a terrible person, and only act good out of societal or some other obligation?

I don't think I'm a terrible person, and when I do good, I do it because I want to.

Do you believe in magic? Are you superstitious?

Hmm, I'm not really superstitious, but I will knock on the wood or grab something red when I hear ambulance. As for magic, you never know.

What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in?

Probably that things will turn out okay one way or another. Granted, I've been struggling with that one lately, but I feel like it's still there somewhere.

[survey--s]

517.

Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance? Actually, I find it quite reassuring that my actions aren’t really that significant. I think I’d feel too much pressure otherwise.

Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known? No.

Do you really think there is somebody for everybody? No. It’s a nice idea but I don’t think the world works like that.

Do you place any value in gender roles? Well, it depends what you mean by gender roles. I don’t think we do ourselves any favours by trying to pretend that men and women aren’t biologically different in some ways.

Do you have to be related to be family? No.

Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? I don’t really have any platonic friendships, but theoretically yes, sure.

Are you in love? Do you want to be? Yes.

Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation? I don’t really understand why you’d want to categorise an emotion like that.

Would you be happy with a life without romance? Yeah, romance isn’t a huge deal to me.

Are you always going to be a little in love with somebody? How can anyone possibly answer that for certain?

Would you change your appearance if you could? Yeah, a few parts of it.

Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.? No.

Do you believe in reincarnation? No. 

Would you want to be reincarnated? If I could choose what I was reincarnated as, sure.

Do you think you’re special, or just another person amongst billions? Can you be both? I think everyone is special in that they’re unique, but we’re still just very small fish in a very, very large pond.

Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem? I mean, I guess they do to an extent, but they’re not for me.

Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them? I did as a little kid, sure. I don’t as an adult.

Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? No.

If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? I mean, if I wanted to join a religion, I could. I have zero interest in it though as it makes absolutely no sense to me.

Do you want a grand adventure? Not really - it sounds like a lot of effort lol.

Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different? It’s not really something I’ve ever thought about.

Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality? I don’t really think that there’s anything to understand.

How fluid is your concept of gender and sexuality? I mean, I don’t understand the whole idea of people thinking they can change sex. You can’t change your biology - I know that’s a hugely unpopular view these days though so I don’t tend to talk about it real life much. I mean, I have no issues with people wanting to have surgery to remove their genitals or whatever - you do you - but getting your penis removed doesn’t make you a woman - it makes you a man without a penis, lol. In terms of sexuality, people can be attracted to whoever they like as long as they’re not causing any harm.

What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far? Choosing to move up to Cumbria.

Are you afraid of growing old? Old age doesn’t scare me, but getting dementia or something does.

Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century? Not forever, but a century or so would be pretty cool.

Do you believe in some form of god/s? No.

Are your choices fated or of your own free will? Hmm, I don’t believe in fate but equally I don’t think anyone has true free will as we’re all restricted by the society we live in in some ways.

Do you have a hunch about how you’re going to die? No.

Do you believe in star signs? No.

How old do you have to be to be considered an adult? Well, in the UK you become an adult at eighteen.

Was your childhood happy? My young childhood was, yes. My teenage years were a bit of a rollercoaster though.

What are you missing from your life? Money lol.

Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? Yeah, generally we got along fine.

Do opposites attract? In some ways, yes.

Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago? Nope. I had absolutely no idea this is how my life would turn out but I’m really grateful that it HAS turned out like this.

Do you know what you want out of life? I just want to be happy.

What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’? I don’t think there’s any one definition of being a good person.

What fundamentally matters to you? Happiness, loyalty, honesty.

Is freewill an illusion? Yes, definitely. Like, we’re hugely influenced by how we’re raised and the society that we live in - plus we can’t just do whatever we want without considering the impact - so we’re restricted by money and time and other people etc.

Do you create art? How do you define art? No.

How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful? I don’t really pay attention to that kind of thing but I’m not someone who thinks lying is some kind of moral failure, necessarily.

Do you want to be remembered after your death? What for? I don’t really care about how I’m remembered - I mean, I’ll be dead, I’ll have absolutely no idea what people think or say about me.

Is true world peace ever possible? No.

Do you have to suffer to truly understand the human condition? What is the human condition? How can you really experience it? Bleh.

Are you free? Will you ever be? Can anyone be truly free? I’m as free as I feel I can be within the confines of society. I run my own business so I can pick my hours and my clients. I don’t have children so I’m not restricted in that sense either.

Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Sometimes.

What do you expect from a friend or partner? Honesty, loyalty, hard work, support.

What question could you ask to find out the most about a person? That depends on the person.

Do you justify all your beliefs or have you just inherited/absorbed some? I really don’t feel like I need to justify any of my beliefs.

Which beliefs do you have that is most likely to be wrong? If I felt like they were wrong, I wouldn’t believe them?

Can humans really understand the complete nature of the universe, space and time? I don’t really think anyone can.

Is a consciousness what makes someone a person? No. Otherwise you’re implying that someone in a coma is no longer a person?

What do you think about artificial intelligence? It’s really interesting to me, but I totally get why it freaks people out.

Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing? I don’t think we’re obsessed as such, but I can totally understand why people find it so interesting and fascinating. I think it only becomes a bad thing when it starts interfering with your relationships and your job, etc.

Are we eventually going to ‘run out’ of new combinations for music, art, language, etc.? Is there a limit to human creativity? No, I don’t think so, because society is always changing and we’re always discovering new things.

What do you think the next era of music will be like? Who knows.

What do you think the next era of fashion will be like? ....

Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them? I still find it really weird that we’ve lived through global lockdowns and a pandemic - like, I remember learning about the plague at school and thinking how scary it must be, but in real life it just felt so normal, lol. Now it all feels like some kind of weird fever dream.

Would you want to meet a clone of yourself? Would you like them? I’d like to meet them, but I’m not sure if I’d like them.

How confident are you, really? I’m very confident on my own, but not so much around other people.

How consistent is your perception of time? I mean, consistent enough, I guess.

What age should people be allowed to vote? Should children and teenagers be allowed to vote? I think eighteen is fine.

How do you feel about the idea ‘an eye for an eye’? I don’t agree with it.

What’s the worse thing a person can be? I don’t know - probably some kind of child or animal torturer.

How do you feel about monogamy? I don’t really have an opinion - I mean, as long as everyone is happy, I don’t feel as though it’s any of my business.

Can you be in love with someone and still fall in love with someone else? Sure, I don’t see why love has to be restricted to just one person.

What’s the tragedy of your life? What a bizarre way of viewing things.

Would your life make a good play? I think it would be pretty boring lol.

Should people be prosecuted for crimes that weren’t considered crimes at the time? No. You can’t retrospectively lock people up for stuff that was legal - that’s batshittery in the extreme.

Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? No and no.

Do you believe in gender equality in every aspect? Well, it’s not possible for men and women to be truly equal - that’s just basic science.

Do we have a moral obligation to care for others? To what extent? Hmm, I think we have an obligation to be polite to people.

Do you crave approval and/or praise? I wouldn’t say I crave it, but I do enjoy it.

Is there comedy in all tragedy and tragedy in all comedy? Yeah, I suppose so.

Are you ever going to be satisfied? I am satisfied.

When you are sad, do you listen to music that conveys your emotions or music that makes you happy? It depends whether I’m in the mood to wallow or whether I need to get out of whatever funk I’m in lol.

Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time? It’s kind of organised by mood, I guess. Like, when I’m making playlists, I’ll pick one song then add songs that Spotify suggests and that I like.

Would you marry a friend if they needed you to (e.g. for citizenship)? Hypothetically I might do, sure.

Are you a deep person? I don’t think I’m any more/less deep than anyone else?

Given the chance to live your life on Mars, with no hope of returning to Earth but with the promise of scientific discovery and glory, would you take it? No.

Are you who people think you are? I don’t know what people think I am.

Do you think you would be happier if you had been born a different gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, nationality or religion? I have no idea. Nobody can say that for certain either way.

What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it? I don’t really know.

Do you anger easily? I don’t really get angry, but I am easily irritated.

Are you a jealous person? Not really.

If you lost all your memories, would you have the same personality? No.

Given the chance to reset your life (with none of the knowledge you currently have), would you take it? Nope.

Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate? I don’t hate anyone.

Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn? I speak two, but I always dream in England. I’d love to improve my Italian.

Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them? No.

How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately? Quietly.

Is unrequited love real love? Sure.

Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? I have absolutely no idea.

Are you overly analytical? I can be.

Do you ever feel that you are really a terrible person, and only act good out of societal or some other obligation? No.

Do you believe in magic? Are you superstitious? No and no.

What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in? I can’t really think of anything that’s particularly illogical.

[purplesurveys]

1736

Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance? No. If anything, it's comforting to know how small our place is in the universe. Helps to put things in perspective as far as trying to stop myself from stressing out over small things. They don't matter.

Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known? Never happened with a place, but yes for people. You get invested in and influenced by people you don't need to know, but I wish we took that a little bit more seriously. Others can be very quick to judge.

Do you really think there is somebody for everybody? It's a nice thought, but no. Doesn't work like that for all of us whether by choice or otherwise.

Do you have to be related to be family? No. I've ditched that mindset for as long as I can remember.

Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? Yes.

Are you in love? Do you want to be? No and no. Once is enough.

Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation? There's no reason for me to lump it into one...my relationships with my friends are very different from my relationship with family.

Would you be happy with a life without romance? Yes, that's how I'm leading my life right now. I've never felt any pressure to seek relationships, flirt, date, hook up, etc. I'm fine on my own, but I also wish everyone else understood that. A few have implied they feel sorry for me and it can be pretty grating. Why are you stressing out, supposedly on my behalf, over a situation I'm perfectly happy about?

Are you always going to be a little in love with somebody? No.

Would you change your appearance if you could? I would but they would all have something to do with my hair lol. Like, I'd treat my hair to be forever un-frizzy, and I'd also do permanent hair removals on certain parts of my body. I'm fine with everything else about my appearance.

Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.? Sure, I feel that's a natural way of life considering it can only go one way for all of us. The biggest example I can think of is the things I could have done and places I could visited over the course of the pandemic.

Do you believe in reincarnation? Nope.

Would you want to be reincarnated? I'm whatever about it. It's not like I'd be aware that I got reincarnated.

Do you think you’re special, or just another person amongst billions? Can you be both? I think everyone is special in that we're all unique, but there are just some who may have a little bit more charm under their belt so much that they stand out among the rest of us. That said, I hate the idea of standing out and prefer to just do my own thing and mind my own life.

Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem? I understand why people would get invested in them but I personally do not care and find things like this a waste of time to discuss.

Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them? I made one up as a kid only because I learned about the concept of imaginary friends from the western cartoons I would watch. Quickly didn't see the point and grew bored when I couldn't get creative with my 'friend.' No, I don't have any now.

Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? I am not religious and people thinking their religion is 'correct' is partly the reason why I ditched the one I was born into.

If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? I know what it's like to be in a religion; it's why I left. It's a mix of many things – finding that many religious people I know are judgmental and hypocrites, not agreeing with most of the beliefs and 'rules,' and in general the idea of faith is just misaligned with the way I prefer to go about life.

Do you want a grand adventure? No. Phrasing it that way makes it sound like a lot of fun, realistically my weak Philippine passport would like to say hi.

Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different? Nah.

Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality? I guess. But this isn't really something I've actively made an effort to be more tuned into.

What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far? I haven't had much of an adventure, tbh. Biggest thing thus far would probably be just me concretizing my plans to leave my current company, while being at the brink of a very important promotion. I'll be letting go of a lot of future opportunities, but I feel this is the best route for myself for now.

Are you afraid of growing old? Not so much of growing old, but more on the idea of losing more people the older I get.

Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century? If it comes with the added benefit that I will never age, then yes I would take the chance.

Do you believe in some form of god/s? Nope.

Are your choices fated or of your own free will? I am not in the belief that things are predetermined.

Do you have a hunch about how you’re going to die? Tbh, no. Death can happen so suddenly that I don't try to think much about how it will happen to me. It's like, I can stress for years over the possibility of getting a life-threatening illness only to be wiped out by a counterflowing truck the next day lmao.

Do you believe in star signs? Nope.

How old do you have to be to be considered an adult? If we want to get all pedantic then the answer is 18, but I know for a fact that some kids get forced into adulthood as kids because I'm one of them.

Was your childhood happy? It had fleeting happy moments but there are scars from most of it.

What are you missing from your life? Adventure. I need to try more new things more often. I'm a person of routine, but even I need to tell myself to lay off of it more.

Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? Yes, Andi and I get along very well as we understand each other.

Do opposites attract? Sure.

Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago? Not in the least. The only thing I'm not surprised about is landing in PR since that's what I've always set out to do. Everything else is different.

Do you know what you want out of life? I'm working towards figuring it out.

What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’? It would be very difficult to define goodness within a set of criteria. There are so many ways people can live kind lives.

What fundamentally matters to you? Being happy, not feeling restricted in any way, being satisfied with the person you are.

Is freewill an illusion? I guess, for the most part. There are always barriers whether we recognize them as such or not.

Do you create art? How do you define art? I do mine through my writing. I don't feel like defining art right now though. In general I didn't expect this survey to get so deep so from here on out expect surface-level answers because I do not feel like going deep at 11:30 PM lol.

How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful? I try to avoid it but when faced with situations where it's more convenient, or if I can avoid more complicated questions by lying, then I'd do so. But yes, I generally am truthful – I tend to want to let people know how I really think.

Do you want to be remembered after your death? What for? It would be nice but at the end of the day I don't think I'll ultimately care. I'll be dead. I won't be overthinking or worrying by then.

Is true world peace ever possible? No.

Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yes, it's how I was raised. We were never allowed to make mistakes as kids and my mom always treated us like grownups from the get-go, and that has spilled over to today. I always feel like I'm headed towards a punishment, so I always want to please people and generally be perfect at everything.

What do you expect from a friend or partner? Patience and understanding.

What question could you ask to find out the most about a person? That could differ depending on the person.

Which beliefs do you have that is most likely to be wrong? I want to have hope for my country, but I don't think it will happen in this lifetime.

Can humans really understand the complete nature of the universe, space and time? Probably not.

Is a consciousness what makes someone a person? No.

What do you think about artificial intelligence? I'm not impressed by it.

Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing? For me it only becomes a problem once you get all cult-like about it, and if it affects your daily relationships. Otherwise, go crazy with the escapism if it helps you and heals you.

Are we eventually going to ‘run out’ of new combinations for music, art, language, etc.? Is there a limit to human creativity? Not at all.

What do you think the next era of music will be like? I mean, AI acts are already coming out so maybe that. I'm vehemently not a fan of the concept though.

What do you think the next era of fashion will be like? Who the fuck knows. I never expected Y2K style to be a thing again so I'm happy to sit back not knowing what the next trends would be.

Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them? I think society has always lived in tumultuous times. This conversation essentially sits at the same table as the idea of the world never being able to achieve peace.

Would you want to meet a clone of yourself? Would you like them? It would be interesting and I think I'll find myself just fine.

How confident are you, really? I can hold my own for the most part but I also don't think I'm as confident as I think I am. There are many areas I have self-doubts on.

How consistent is your perception of time? I don't know what the hell this is asking.

What age should people be allowed to vote? Should children and teenagers be allowed to vote? No I don't think kids and teenagers should vote and I'm fine with having voted when I turned 18.

How do you feel about the idea ‘an eye for an eye’? Idk depends on the situation. When is this survey going to end LOL

What’s the worse thing a person can be? An animal abuser. I may hate them more than murderers, tbh.

How do you feel about monogamy? Nothing.

Can you be in love with someone and still fall in love with someone else? I guess it can happen but I personally disagree with it very strongly.

What’s the tragedy of your life? It hasn't happened and I try not to think in that perspective.

Would your life make a good play? No.

Should people be prosecuted for crimes that weren’t considered crimes at the time? Idk I'd have to ask my law friends for their thoughts on this.

Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? Nah and no.

Do you believe in gender equality in every aspect? Yes.

Do we have a moral obligation to care for others? To what extent? Well, not everyone. I wouldn't help someone who's been rude to me or my loved ones.

Do you crave approval and/or praise? As a lifelong people pleaser, yeah.

Is there comedy in all tragedy and tragedy in all comedy? OMG I don't care.

Are you ever going to be satisfied? I hope so.

When you are sad, do you listen to music that conveys your emotions or music that makes you happy? It depends. I can definitely go either way.

Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time? I'll listen to whatever.

Would you marry a friend if they needed you to (e.g. for citizenship)? No.

Are you a deep person? Based on my reactions to this survey so far, I can be deep but for the most part I prefer not to be.

Given the chance to live your life on Mars, with no hope of returning to Earth but with the promise of scientific discovery and glory, would you take it? No.

Are you who people think you are? I don't know what people think of me.

Do you think you would be happier if you had been born a different gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, nationality or religion? Depends. If I grew up in a country that cared more about their people than yeah probably.

What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it? I am responsible for pushing myself back. All the time. Yes I am and trying to switch jobs is the first thing I'm doing to fix that.

Do you anger easily? I can't remember the last time I was angry, but I do have a short fuse. I can be moody and can get easily irritated or impatient.

Are you a jealous person? Nah.

If you lost all your memories, would you have the same personality? Probably not.

Given the chance to reset your life (with none of the knowledge you currently have), would you take it? No thanks.

Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate? I guess. I don't hate anyone.

Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn? I dream in the two languages I speak. I would like to master Korean.

Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them? I think they reflect the state of my mind, like my stressors and such, but I don't think they mean anything.

How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately? Unconditionally. Too much for my own good, which is why I've backed off of it.

Is unrequited love real love? Sure.

Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? Um it's probably different idk.

Are you overly analytical? Sure.

Do you ever feel that you are really a terrible person, and only act good out of societal or some other obligation? No, I've never thought of myself in that way.

Do you believe in magic? Are you superstitious? No, no.

What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in? "Everything will be okay."

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

What do you mean by "a murder?" Trolley problems are understood to be thought experiments about decision theory, and they're understood to be about principles like "kill one innocent to save many." If you only have one option and it involves killing one person, it's murder (I'm using the colloquial definition of murder here). So the right thing to do seems to me is avoid killing the one innocent.

You seem to be claiming the wrong thing to do is commit a murder, and that such a "wrong thing" doesn't make sense to talk about. But I feel like it's a genuine question about morality, and morality is all about these sorts of questions.

In the Trolley Problem, "murder" is just a word used to cover a decision that involves intentional killing of a human being. If you use the word "murder" just to describe any decision which involves killing someone, it's meaningless and arbitrary.

That's because killing someone is not usually a problem that can be analyzed by itself. You can't just point to a random murder and say "why did they kill that person?" You have to describe the situation, say why the victim got killed and what would have happened otherwise.

If your situation is "I'm the only one with the ability to control a runaway trolley, which is headed toward five innocent people," then you can't just ask "why is it morally wrong to kill one person with the trolley?" You have to be able to answer questions like "what would I be doing with the trolley otherwise?" And if the answer is that I would be sitting on the train tracks watching people get killed, then I can't meaningfully ask "why is it wrong to kill someone?"

I mean, there are murderers who kill because they just love killing, but these are a tiny minority of people in the world, and in the Trolley Problem most people aren't murderers like that. Most people who kill when they can do so for some reason (which is most people) kill because they get some benefit out of it. This benefit is sometimes just "get something I want" but sometimes it's the belief that there is some moral duty to kill (e.g. in wartime, to kill the enemy) or that there's some moral duty not to let the innocent suffer.

So for the Trolley Problem to make sense you have to imagine that there is some overriding benefit that would justify killing one person. The benefits are usually the ones mentioned in the question. You can make up other benefits if you want. There's no reason that the trolley had to be headed toward the five people in the first place; maybe it's actually headed toward someone else, and the lever will switch it to another track where it will kill someone you really dislike, and it will turn out that you had a genuine reason to sacrifice the life of the one person. In this kind of scenario, the victim would really be "some other guy" rather than "a person," and your decision to sacrifice their life would be seen as perfectly rational.

This is, of course, no different than the situation in real life where the government makes you do something you hate, and you tell everyone "well, I'm doing it to save everyone else's lives." It's possible to make this argument stick in certain cases, but this doesn't make the act moral. A person's utility function can't be used to create a social consensus wherein people believe that everyone should do whatever makes them personally happy, even if it means acting selfishly and against the common good.

Thus, in order to make the Trolley Problem make sense, there's a philosophical assumption built in to it, which is that there's some overriding benefit in getting more utility out of fewer people by sacrificing some lives. I think this is a mistake. It's a mistake to assume that you can find an irreducible moral fact, a thing that can be found to be right or wrong without considering any other factor.

I believe that any moral statement must be contingent on the moral context. It cannot be treated as an abstract generalization, a fact about the world as a whole that will always be true. For example, I believe it is wrong to take other people's property for my own benefit (with exceptions for certain types of utilitarian redistribution etc.). If I believed that stealing someone's car was wrong, it would be absurd to have the person in question try to justify their "right" to the car by arguing "but you didn't take the car out of my own pocket!" I'm not saying that the person has a right to it. The car is not "their own property." It's not like everyone has a separate property right to everything in the world, and one of them is "the right to this specific car." The car is the property of the people who own it. I don't believe that you have a moral right to what is not yours.

BUT, there is a "but" here. I believe that you have the right to things that are not yours in certain specific cases, which I'll call "someone can take things that are not theirs in cases of emergency, but they have to prove to everyone involved that it was an emergency." These are cases where you can (or should be able to) prove you were in a situation of emergency, such that it would have been immoral not to use the thing that was not yours in order to save many lives. (For example, there is a case where you're asked by a government to do something unethical and you can't, because of the ethics of the situation. If you say "the people have to suffer," they may ask "well, then, what about a case where someone is starving and you have the means to feed them? Are you just going to let them starve to death?" This is a case where there is no real moral choice to be made, and you would be an immoral person if you could do something to save this life and you didn't.)

I believe that my moral principle about not taking other people's things is contingent on whether or not you have an emergency situation. So if you have an emergency situation, then you can use the thing that is not yours, to save many lives. It is no different than killing to save many lives. These are both done to save many lives, and your moral choice to do the first thing is not magically better than the second thing. What matters is whether you have an emergency situation or not. The specific type of emergency is not morally relevant; what is morally relevant is the moral urgency.

In the case of the Trolley Problem, you do not have an emergency situation, because you are not in the position of someone who has to choose between having to use the trolley (or whatever) to kill the five people or allow them to die. You have the choice to kill one person with the trolley, but you do not have the choice to detour the trolley; there is no such choice. You do not have any choice to do otherwise; you do not have any choice not to kill the one person. If there were a third option where you could detour the trolley somehow, then that option would be the only option with moral relevance, and everyone who thought they were in a situation where the only options were to use the trolley to kill the five people or not use it and let them all die would see that this was their moral duty.

What I believe is a person's morality should not dictate their actions unless the person is in an emergency situation. "I don't believe I have a right to take someone else's property without their consent, but I do believe it is all right to forcefully stop someone from killing innocent people." This makes perfect sense to me. I don't believe people should do things that are immoral, but I believe it can be moral to force people to do things that are unjustified. I believe there are cases where you have to use force, even though it's immoral, and my belief is that the morality of such a thing depends not on the content of that force but on the exigencies of the situation.

Anyway, in the Trolley Problem case, you do not have to use the trolley, because the trolley is not going to go anywhere unless you pull it, and the people on the other track are not going to die unless you keep the lever in the trolley's path. You do not have to detour the trolley; you don't have the option to do that. You do not have to do anything; you have the option to let the lever stay in place and not pull it, and letting the lever stay in place will not result in the people on the track dying, unless you use the lever to switch the track again later.

Because of this, the Trolley Problem does not make any moral sense. You cannot call it a "wrong thing to do" unless you decide to ignore the fact that there is no other choice to be made

Frank, there is a runaway trolley barreling down the railway tracks. Ahead, on the tracks, there are five people tied up and unable to move. The trolley is headed straight for them. You are standing some distance off in the train yard, next to a lever. If you pull this lever, the trolley will switch to a different set of tracks. However, you notice that there is one person on the side track. You have two (and only two) options:

A) Do nothing, in which case the trolley will kill the five people on the main track.

B) Pull the lever, diverting the trolley onto the side track where it will kill one person.

Which is the more ethical option? Or, more simply: What is the right thing to do?

There is no “right thing to do” unless you could stop the train with your bare hands, which you can’t. It just doesn’t make sense to ask “what is the right thing to do in a situation where the thing you have to do is commit a murder”

[littlecutiexox]

1, 16, 17, 32 and ill choose some random numbers too to add ~chaos~ , 110, 69 (duh), 101 mwah ily

Bestie before I even type anything, I love and miss you so much, I'm absolutely hugging the fuck out of you next month

1 // Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance?

Not particularly? ALSO I FUCKING KNEW YOU'D ASK THIS ONE

16 // Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem?

Answered right below because someone beat you to it x

17 // Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them?

No, but I've had this little shit of a best friend since I was 8 years old. Even if we don't live in the same country anymore and I rarely get to see them I bring them with me everywhere I go, with every dilemma I deal with, they've with me always and I usually think of what they would say to me in the situation I'm in because I know they'd always be honest and pure with me. Rarely you have a bond with someone that goes beyond everything and although you don't get to speak to them everyday their presence, influence and energy is with you always. I love you so much.

32 // Do you believe in star signs?

Not really? because according to my star sign I can never settle down and my ass was always in a relationship so I'm very much like HUH EXCUSE ME PUNK? HAVE I PROVED YOU WRONG YET. I do think generally aspects of a Sagittarius fit me very well but I don't really believe in them?

69 // Can you be in love with someone and still fall in love with someone else?

I'm still very much re-defining what romantic love means to me so I'm not sure? I think crushes while in love with someone are normal but I don't really know what to think of it? I feel like you should be able to be in love with multiple people at a time, I don't see myself specifically being able to experience it, but I get that others might

There's no 110 or 101 you little shithead but I'm gonna remind you to go take your meds and drink some water RIGHT NOW

[sylvia-de-silva]

The Devil You Know

Let this country die. Its people starve in the streets. Its children and old wither in their sickbeds. Pestilence and disease ravage it. forests razed, seas eat into the land, all hope of the future snuffed; the devil swallow it whole.

This is not the curse of the unavenged dead. Not the curse of the souls we sold for bread and circuses. The young we condemned to unmarked graves. The mothers whose truth we left buried in the soil, so nothing could ever grow there.

This is the end we wrote with our own hand. The grinning death we wrought.

Perhaps it is better this way. We were always going to betray them once we had gasoline to drink, trickling down our bellies. We were always going to push the desperate hoardes The children struggling to school, hungry, barefoot; the walking wounded bleeding for answers, back into the yawning hole, apologetic all the way down.

The Dollar Bahiravaya* willed it for the sins of our kings. What to do ithing**. But don't worry it is only a temporary death, until things improve. Okay? Now stop blocking traffic and get out of the way.

Later, we will say, we were tricked. Later, we will say, we were conned. True, we sold our grandmother for half a tank of gas but it turned out to be rancid juice and broke the engine. Now here we are, demanding a refund once more.

Seventy-four years we have made a blood price of existence

Democracy a trolley problem. Everything works perfectly as long as the levers work as they should Exact the collateral only according to our ruling. The consent of the governed.

Tell me– how many times can we look the devil in the face and invite him insidejust because it was the one we knew? How many times can we pawn the future before it is beyond redemption? But then, this is always the way. Justice demands a far too exorbitant price when stability asks only for our souls.

*Bahiravaya - supernatural guardian of treasure in Sinhalese lore, who demands a sacrifice in exchange for access

**Ithing - Sinhalese figure of speech that makes a phrase rhetorical e.g: "What to do, ithing" -> "what can you do, eh?"

[ahordeofwasps]

10 Songs 10 People Tag Game

I was tagged by the wonderful @jamieanovels! Thanks for the tag! The rules of the game are to list 10 songs, then tag 10 people to pass it on, with bonus points for song from a WIP or character playlist! 

I’m going to shuffle the playlist for my main WIP, Crying Wolf, and share the first 10 songs, plus the reasons why they’re on the playlist because I want an excuse to talk about Crying Wolf. But, before that, the no pressure tags!

No pressure tags: @afoolandathief, @aohendo, @loopyhoopywrites, @worldstogetlostin, @whimsyqueen, and open tag!

Onto the songs!

1 - The Hearse by Matt Maeson

Added onto the playlist mainly for the chorus (”I will never go backwards, I will never be free, I will never be free when you sing down to me,”) vibes really well with the events of Crying Wolf. There’s a lot of running and a lot of escapes... “to something that is worse,” involved, as well as many points of no return just sort of leaped over without looking.

2 - March of the Ignorant by Crown the Empire

The themes of the song (zealousness, denial) fits the Order of Grav, a militaristic gravity worshipping cult in Crying Wolf, really well. Due to having a monopoly on pre/syn-apocalypse technology, this cult is heavily relied on by the government to deal with problems pertaining to run-ins with this technology. However, due to a combination of the Order fitting the BITE model in its structure as well as its reluctance to share what it has found with others, they have a lot of misconceptions about both the pre/syn-apocalypse technology and how the world works. The Order does more harm than good in their “crusade”. 

3 - Diamonds and Rust by Judas Priest

This song fits the character Ogwut Izzdat! This is another one, where it’s on the playlist mainly for the chorus (”We both know what memories can bring, they bring diamonds and rust.”) Ogwut is a 10 ft tall robot who, at the beginning of the story, thinks he’s just a weird human. He learns that he is not human a few chapters into the story. A good portion of his character development deals with him reinterpreting his memories and coming to terms with what (and who) he is. I also intend to continue this character development when I get around to writing the sequel. 

4 - Under the Milky Way by the Church

This song was one I liked to listen to while writing the calmer moments in Crying Wolf as well as doing some of the world building. The song has a sense of wonder to it which I like. 

5 - Dream On by Aerosmith

Another song that fits Ogwut! The lyrics fit his character development quite well (e.g., “I know it's everybody's sin, you got to lose to know how to win, half my life's in books' written pages, storing facts learned from fools and from sages”), especially in regard to him wanting to do the right thing when faced with multiple... trolley problem-esque... situations, and his stubborn refusal to give up and hope for a better world.

6 - Heel Turn 2 by the Mountain Goats

Crying Wolf is about a revenge-cycle. This song (”You found my breaking point, congratulations, spent too much of my life now trying to play fair, throw my better self overboard, shoot at him when he comes up for air, come unhinged, get revenge.”) fits revenge-cycles really well! 

7 - Pink Cloud Compression by Mister Heavenly

This song fits the character Claudine! She is the character that causes problems on purpose! Usually in an attempt to fix other problems. She is probably the most stubborn character in Crying Wolf and the song (”I see the madness brimming in your eyes, a child who's never been told no”)  fits that quite well.

8 - The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

Wotan has unrequited feelings for Theo and, despite loving Theo, disagrees with him on a few plot-important choices on a moral level. He loves some parts of Theo and hates other parts, and it stings all the more because Theo barely sees Wotan as a friend, let alone anything more. A break-up song seemed fitting for these two, though the song fits Wotan better than Theo.

9 - The Wolf by SIAMES

The song has wolf in the title and I really like it. That’s pretty much it. It’s a good song.

10 - Evil in Your Eye by the Church of the Cosmic Skull

I listened to the album this song comes from a lot while writing Crying Wolf. This song (”No one can save you, you're under their spell, no one can save you at all, no one can touch you and no one can see, no one can save you”)  fits a lot of the scenes quite well. The main characters often feel both helpless and alone, facing a villain that has power beyond their comprehension while others refuse to listen to their warnings let alone help. Sometime they do the opposite of helping and make things worse.

[herinsectreflection]

I Don't Sleep on Bed of Bones: The Slayer as a Killer Across the Seasons

A pretty constant question throughout Buffy's arc - arguably the central question of the entire show, that Buffy must answer, is "what is a slayer? What does being The Vampire Slayer mean?". And a major part of that is the question of whether a slayer is just a killer. It's a question central to S5, but ripples throughout the rest of the show too, with some of the most iconic scenes in the show in converstion with each other around it. Inspired by an ask I received about this from @potterkid, I took a look at how this idea develops and resolves itself over the course of the show.

In S1, being the Slayer means accepting responsibility. It's metaphor for growing up - a metaphor that recurs throughout the show along with other ideas, but is strongest in S1. Buffy is torn between her teenage/human wants and her adult/supernatural responsibilities. She accepts her mortality and her duty (fighting the Master), and wins when she manages to integrate that with her personal desires (fighting the Master in a kickass prom dress with her friends and boyfriend). There's some stuff around the classic superhero idea that being around the hero is dangerous -e.g. in Never Kill a Boy on the First Date, but not much on the idea of a Slayer being a killer exactly.

In S2, being the Slayer means making hard choices. It means accepting that sometimes all your options are bad ones, but choosing one anyway, even at personal cost. This is introduced through Ford's story in Lie to Me, with Buffy's words to him forming one of the core thesis statements of the show ("You have a choice. You don't have a good choice, but you have a choice."), and it's climaxed beautifully in the tragic ending of Becoming. There's not much direct allusion to the idea of Buffy being a killer here, but this is a vital moment in that discussion. Ultimately, Buffy does make the decision here to kill Angel - not to slay Angelus, but to kill him. To take the life of her ensouled lover in order to save others. It's kind of the opposite of the decision that Ford makes - the best of two bad choices. It's the classic trolley problem, and Buffy's hand is on the lever by design - she has to make that choice because she's the Slayer. We will see this moment returned to again and again as this Slayer-vs-Killer theme develops.

Also, Ted is a very important episode for later. Buffy herself feels guilty specifically because she used her slayer powers on what she thinks is a regular human, and therefore killed him. Specifically, being the Slayer made her a Killer. It's also notable that this is where the idea of Buffy having a free reign to kill is first introduced - by Buffy's original shadow self in Cordelia no less.

Cordelia: I don't get it. Buffy's the Slayer. Shouldn't she have... Xander: What, a license to kill? Cordelia: Well, not for fun. But she's like this superman. Shouldn't there be different rules for her? - 2x12 Ted This isn't explored massively here but will be revisited again and again going forward.

S3 is where this theme really comes into focus. Faith enters as Buffy's shadow self and a representation of hedonism. How that manifests is as a Slayer who gives herself a license to Kill. She posits the idea that as slayers, they can and should decide who lives and dies.

Faith: Something made us different. We're warriors. We're built to kill. Buffy: To kill demons! But it does not mean that we get to pass judgment on people like we're better than everybody else! Faith: We are better! - 3x15 Consequences

Obviously, this is something that Buffy has to reckon with and fight against. But there is a glimmer of truth here, because at the end of S2, she does take the power of life and death into her own hands. She is faced with the choice between Angel and the world and decides that Angel should die. She had to, that's the position she has to be in because she is the Slayer. She has to be a Killer because she is a Slayer. So the two are intertwined.

More than this, Faith is someone who at least appears to revel in the kill. Up until now, we hadn't really seen Buffy enjoy being a slayer, but Faith does. Buffy is genuinely drawn to that, to slaying for pleasure. The equation of slaying/killing and sex for Buffy is first explicitly drawn by Faith in this season. ("Isn't it crazy how slaying always makes you hungry and horny?"). Slayers are very much like vampires in that respect, blurring the line between sex and death. In general, Faith introduces the idea that Buffy is drawn to killing - not just to protect people (the ideal of a Slayer), but for its own benefit. That's something that Buffy continues to struggle with going forward.

I have said before that Faith in S3 is an echo of Angel in S2, both in Buffy's relationship to them both and how that shifts mid-season, and in how it ends. In Graduation Day, Buffy again is given the power of life and death. This time, it's more personal - she can stop Angel dying by killing Faith. It's not such a straightforward (for want of a better word) decision as Angel .vs. the literal entire world, it's just the value of one life against the other. Another trolley problem, and it's not an easy choice, but it's still a choice. Just as she chose the lesser evil in killing Angel in S2, she kills the person filling the Angel role in S3. And this time, the choice is explicitly tied to the idea of being a Killer. Faith is set up as the person that Buffy could be in a slightly different world, and that person is a Killer, as Faith herself claims.

"What are you gonna do, B? Kill me? You become me. You're not ready for that, yet." - Faith Lehane, 3x17 Enemies

"You did it, B. You killed me." - Faith Lehane, 3x22 Graduation Day

In the act of choosing to pull the lever, Buffy has to kill. In the act of killing, she has become her dark mirror. In the act of defeating/becoming Faith, she becomes again the sole Slayer. Being a killer and a Slayer again intertwined. It's interesting here that she then makes the decision to feed herself to Angel. She unravels the trolley problem by throwing herself on the tracks. It's fascinating that between the dual trolley-problem finales of Becoming and The Gift, where in the first Buffy chooses to pull the lever, and in the latter she refuses and chooses a third option, Graduation Day exists in the middle as a stepping stone where she kind of does both.

The bulk of S4 is a little lighter on this theme, instead examining The Slayer as a role that must be juggled amongst a series of competing roles as Buffy's life as an adult becomes more fractured. There are flavours of it in Fear Itself, where Buffy fears that her friends will leave and her destiny lies with death and the dead, but otherwise not too much jumps out at me. Except, of course, for Restless, which is so heavy with this theme. It's one of the many reasons why I kind of consider Restless an honourary part of S5, as it's setting up the themes and arcs of S5 as much as it's wrapping up the like from S4.

RILEY: Hey there, killer.

BUFFY: We're not demons. ADAM: Is that a fact?

RILEY: Thought you were looking for your friends. Okay, killer...

TARA: I live in the action of death, the blood cry, the penetrating wound. I am destruction. Absolute ... alone. BUFFY: The Slayer. FIRST SLAYER: No friends! Just the kill.

OK, so SO much to unpack here. This is all within the under-10-minute sequence of Buffy's dream, and in that sequence she constantly shows a fear that she is in fact a "killer". It's clearly strong in her mind. Riley calls her "killer" multiple times, and Adam equates her with him, and with demonhood. I also find it very interesting how she responds to Tara's words, which are very literally describing the act of kiling ("the action of death...the blood cry...the penetrating wound"). She hears that and immediately identifies her as the Slayer, so slayerhood and killing are clearly bound up together in her mind.

Central to her concerns is the dichotomy between friendship and death. This was built up in Fear Itself, and it's central here. Riley and Sineya both frame it as a choice, between friendship and "the kill". This is a fear that Buffy has already, since S1, that her Slayer life will stop her ability to have a "normal" life of friends and family, but it also sets up her arc in S5 nicely. She chooses her friends over becoming a pure instrument of death in Restless, but that does not resolve her ongoing fears. They existed before and continue to dwell even more strongly in her mind, with words that both Sineya and Dracula repeat.

"You think you know ... what's to come ... what you are. You haven't even begun."

This sets the stage for S5, and her arc of choosing between family and being the Slayer. Friendship and family are presented as more of less one and the same a few episodes later in Family, and the choice Buffy is faced with in S5 is another trolley problem - the life of Dawn against the world. This time, it's more specifically tied to the Slayer/Killer dichotomy through the prophecy that Buffy is faced with ("Death is your gift"). This frames the similar choices she faced in Becoming and Graduation Day in the same light, with Buffy even specifically comparing this to the former.

BUFFY: I sacrificed Angel to save the world. I loved him so much. But I knew ... what was right. I don't have that any more. I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish that... I just wish my mom was here. The spirit guide told me that death is my gift. Guess that means a Slayer really is just a killer after all. - 5x22 The Gift

S5 is soaked in this Killer-vs-Slayer idea, and that's part of why I love it so much. It opens with Buffy having gained an appreciation of killing. She goes out not to patrol, but to hunt. To revel in the enjoyment of the kill, just as Faith did. There's also a constant theme of people identifying Buffy as a Killer. Importantly, it's a theme of her believing them. She knows that there is a kernel of truth there, and it develops from a subconcious worry in Restless to a more concrete fear in Intervention, where Buffy explicitly says that she is afraid that being the Slayer means losing her humanity and ability to love, and become nothing more than a "killer". Eventually, Buffy is so ground down by it that when The Gift rolls around, she simply accepts that the Slayer is "just a killer" as an inevitability.

BUFFY: Yeah, I prefer the term slayer. You know, killer just sounds so... DRACULA: Naked? - 5x01 Buffy vs Dracula

SPIKE: Death is your art. You make it with your hands, day after day. That final gasp. That look of peace. - 5x07 Fool for Love

FIRST SLAYER: Death is your gift. - 5x18 Intervention

I also like the way that Joyce is repeatedly linked to this idea. Buffy's response to Sineya points to Joyce's death as a rebuttal to the idea of death being a gift ("Death is not a gift. My mother just died. I know this."). Buffy talks about Joyce just before accepting that "a slayer is a killer" in The Gift. Spike's speech about Slayer's having a death wish comes immediately before Buffy finds out that Joyce is going into hospital. The idea of the Slayer as an instrument of death, killing every day, is juxtaposed against the mundane horror of what death is really like, as demonstrated in The Body. As the Slayer, Buffy must cause death, but this is what death looks like. It's hard and painful and mortal and stupid. Eventually Buffy reaches a point where she just can't do this anymore. She can't live in a world where she must choose to be a killer, because she understands death more now than ever.

It's here that the show explicitly connects the ideas of utilitarianism and being a killer. Buffy says that killing Dawn to save the world (and by association killing Angel to save the world, or killing Faith to save Angel), would make the Slayer "just a killer". This goes back to S3, and Faith arguing that the death of one innocent was washed out by the many people that they save, and that being Slayers gives them the right to make that calculation. Tara points to Giles in this episode, the voice of utilitarianism, and identifies him as a killer. Giles himself identifies himself as one when he kills Ben, and here draws a line between being a utilitarian/killer, and being a hero.

BEN: Need a ... a minute. She could've killed me. GILES: No she couldn't. Never. ... She's a hero, you see. She's not like us.

Some people criticise the moral absolutism of this, and could very justifiably argue that killing Ben, or even killing Dawn, would be the most moral thing in this situation. Who are we to say that Dawn's life is more valuable than the lives of a thousand other 14 year old girls, with families of their own that love them just as much as Buffy loves Dawn? But within the context of the show, I think it makes sense for them to reject utilitarianism. Buffy is a Sisyphean story. There will always be another apocalypse after this one is stopped. There will always be another impossible choice with innocent lives in the balance. Through that lens, the idea of "killing one to save a thousand" becomes meaningless, because there's a thousand apocalypses, and if you kill one to stop them all, then you've killed a thousand. That's how Buffy feels - she killed Angel, she killed Faith, now she has to kill Dawn? Where does it end? Eventually it all just gets stripped away, so what's the point? There's no winning move here. The only way to break the cycle is to change the game.

We should also keep in mind Buffy's words at the start of the episode. She fears that the Slayer is "just a killer", but she is also identified by the guy she saves in the alley in the opening scene as "just a girl". And Buffy agrees ("That's what I keep saying."). Buffy is The Vampire Slayer, which dictates that she must make these impossible choices, but she's also Buffy, which means she is a human being with the power of free will. She gets a choice - not a good choice, but a choice. As a human being, she can reject the options in front of her and find a third way. She can transform the whole game, and turn "Death is your gift" into an empowering statement. This was heavily foreshadowed of course - the Guide in Intervention outright stated that Buffy was full of love, and that "love will bring [her] to [her] gift". But it takes Buffy working through these fears and emotions and realising that she simply can't take Dawn's life. She chooses a new way. She avoids being a killer by rejecting utilitarian ethics. To paraphrase The Last Jedi, she wins by saving what she loves. Ultimately, she's not a killer, but a girl, a friend, a sister, a Slayer - a hero.

So season five is very much the climax and resolution of this theme. Very few themes ever disappear entirely from this show though, and this one continues to echo throughout the show. In S6, Buffy again fears she is slipping into darkness. That there is some kind of darkness that is innate within her. But where in S5 this was a fear that she recoiled from but at times seemed inevitable, in S6 it is something that she is drawn towards, that disgusts her but that she takes a kind of comfort in, because it's easier than facing the mundane reality of her depression.

This yearning for her own darkness takes the physical form of Spike, who she uses for what is basically sexual self-harm. Spike steps into Faith's role as Buffy's shadow self for much of the later seasons, and , and like Faith he represents killing as hedonism, and as sex. There's no vampire who so aggressively blurs the lines of sex and death/violence as Spike. Her fear that killing is part of her nature, and her fear of her own sexual desire, are very much one and the same. When she breaks down in Dead Things, she talks about the darkness within her, and of her shame over her own sexuality.

Spike also repeats Faith's utilitarian justifications from Consequences in the episode which forms the climax of Buffy's self-destruction, Dead Things. When Buffy attempts to metaphorically commit suicide by turning herself into the police, she does it while constantly identifying herself as a killed. She repeats some variation on "I killed her" four times in just two scenes. She wants to be punished for being a killer, and not protected for being the slayer. She has grappled with this several times, and is still resolute that being the slayer does not give her a license to kill, but this time she is desperate to be seen as a killer, to give justification for her own self-hatred.

The final way S6 explores this idea is with Willow. When she is after Warren, Buffy tries to stop her, not for Warren's sake but for Willow's. She knows that taking a life changes a person, and implicitly draws on the first time she chose to take a human's life, the moment she "became a killer" on that rooftop with Faith.

Buffy (re: going to kill Faith): I can't play kid games anymore. This is how she wants it. Xander: I just don't want to lose you. Buffy: I won't get hurt. Xander: That's not what I mean. - 3x21 Graduation Day

XANDER: She should be coming down at some point, shouldn't she? I mean, back there she was out of her head ... running on grief and magicks. BUFFY: Doesn't matter . Willow just killed someone. Killing people changes you. Believe me, I know. - 6x21 Two to Go Killing Warren might have been justified given what a complete piece of shit he was - just as killing Angel was justified, just as killing Faith was, just as killing Ben was. That doesn't matter, because Buffy still recognises that the act of killing leaves permanent psychological scars, which she is still bearing.

In S7, we get the final major exploration of the "does the Slayer have a right to kill" idea in Selfless. Here, Buffy seems to have reached the conclusion that Cordelia, Faith and Spike (all her shadow selves) were right, and she does, in fact, have the right to pass judgment because she's the Slayer, when she decides she has to kill Anya.

"It is always different! It's always complicated. And at some point, someone has to draw the line, and that is always going to be me. You get down on me for cutting myself off, but in the end the slayer is always cut off. There's no mystical guidebook. No all-knowing council. Human rules don't apply. There's only me. I am the law." - 7x05 Selfless

However, I don't think the show wants us to take this as gospel. Buffy is conclusively proved wrong in this episode, since killing Anya doesn't work, and it's Willow who finds a third option that saves the day. In S7, the idea of the Slayer-as-Killer is more an incidental theme, while the central exploration is the idea of "one girl in all the world". It explores the nature of that tragedy, that Buffy is by definition alone. Because of this, she necessarily must be a killer. She does have to pass judgement, because there is nobody else capable of it. She has to be the one to hunt and kill vampires. She has to face the choice to kill Angel, to kill Faith, to kill Dawn, to kill Anya.

This is where the theme ends up - as a tragic inevitability. Buffy must always make that choice. Making the selfless choice to kill her boyfriend doesn't stop it. Avoiding the choice and dying herself doesn't even stop it. That boulder just rolls down the hill again and again, and Buffy is the only one who can push it back up. The Slayer is a killer because the Slayer is alone. So the only way to break that cycle is for the Slayer to no longer be alone. There are still elements of The Slayer, and of Buffy as a person, that are linked to death and killing, but she has mostly made peace with those parts, and now can be free of having to be "the law" too.

[lovelettersforthevoid]

16, 22, 34, 36, 46, 56, 64, 66, 70, 76, 78, 86, 88, 92, 94, 96, 100

16. Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem? I just think it's fun to think about stuff like that, so it is of value for me. I also think it can be pretty insightful when you take the position of the devil's advocate.

22. How long does it take you to fall in love with somebody? Is the sensation of ‘falling in love’ or ‘being in love’ better? Since I think that I've found my true love I can say that the being in love part was reached quite quickly. And oh my, truly being in love is something else. The first week of us being together already felt like we've known each other for ages.

34. Was your childhood happy? Yes, I cherish a lot of moments and feelings.

36. Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? We've been together for almost four years and we love each other deeply.

46. Is true world peace ever possible? Man I wish, but I don't think so. Humans will always find ways to form groups and discriminate against each other. We will always find new differences that will separate us. It's just in our nature.

56. What do you think about artificial intelligence? I love working with it and thinking about the ethics behind it. Like what does it even mean to understand something. We're all like 'well it's just programmed to show emotions or learn a language', well yeah but how is that any different to the way humans learn about the world?

64. How consistent is your perception of time? Pretty inconsistent as of late. I sometimes forget parts of what I've done during the day. Sometimes being in the present feels like it happens ages ago. Did I even go for a run today? What did I eat yesterday? I am quite scared of losing my mind pretty early.

66. How do you feel about the idea ‘an eye for an eye’? I understand the historical significance of it. As it being one of the first forms of regulated justice. But now it's a very antiquated way of thinking.

70. What’s the tragedy of your life? I would describe myself as a quite artsy and visual person. And I have a condition that will eventually make me go blind.

76. Do you crave approval and/or praise? Oh yes. I think everything I do is wrong or stupid or I'm not doing enough in general, so I need constant reassurance.

78. Are you ever going to be satisfied? I think I'm on a good way.

86. What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it? Needing time to process things that bug me or depress me. I often need a while to come forward with an explanation as to why I’m quiet or in a bad mood. I’m aware of that

88. Are you a jealous person? If ContraPoints has taught me one thing it's the difference between jealousy and envy. And I would consider myself more of an envious person, especially regarding skills, abilities, looks, etc.

92. Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn? Fluent in German and English. I think and dream in both. But I'm currently learning Dutch. And if there was more time I'd also love to learn more Japanese and Korean.

94. How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately? Passionately, with every fiber of my being.

96. Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? I recently found out that it differs quite a lot. I think I'm barely doing enough for uni and everyone else thinks I'm a huge nerd who does way too much.

100. What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in? That love is the most important experience of the human condition and that soulmates exist.

Those were a lot, took me a while, thanks for the questions ✌️

[survey--s]

623.

Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance? On the contrary, I find it quite comforting. It stops me stressing over really pointless things as I know they just don't matter. At all.

Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known? I wouldn't say I mourn for places I've never known, but I certainly feel an affinity for certain places I've visited in the past.

Do you really think there is somebody for everybody? I mean, I suspect there is, but whether you meet that person and it's at the right time for it to work out is another matter entirely.

Do you have to be related to be family? Nope.

Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? Of course.

Are you in love? Do you want to be? Yes. I mean, I don't want to be because I already am.

Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation? You can definitely put it into categories.

Would you be happy with a life without romance? Yes - I'm not a particularly romantic person at the best of times, lol. I wouldn't be happy to have a life without any kind of companionship though. I like sharing my life with my husband.

Are you always going to be a little in love with somebody? I mean, who knows. I have no idea what my future looks like.

Would you change your appearance if you could? I'd change my hair type and get rid of my glasses. I don't hate either of those things but life would be much easier if they were different.

Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.? I guess so.

Do you believe in reincarnation? Nope.

Would you want to be reincarnated? I mean, would you be aware you were reincarnated or not? Probably not, so I mean, it's whatever lol.

Do you think you’re special, or just another person amongst billions? Can you be both? I think everyone is both. I'm special to the people who care about me, but I'm pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem? I don't really care, to be honest. People can do what they like, though.

Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them? I did when I was little, yeah. Her name was Samantha lol. I don't have them as an adult, though.

Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? I am not religious in the slightest. Personally I don't understand how any rational, sane person can believe in God.

If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? Religion is absolutely bonkers to me. It has so much power and has caused so many problems. I genuinely don't "get" it.

Do you want a grand adventure? I would love one - if I had the money to do it properly.

Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different? I think everyone has that. I'm a big believer in the butterfly effect in that way.

Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality? I guess. But this isn't really something I've actively made an effort to be more tuned into.

What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far? Probably breaking up with Chris and leaving Suffolk.

Are you afraid of growing old? No.

Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century? If I could guarantee staying young and in good health, maybe.

Do you believe in some form of god/s? Nope.

Are your choices fated or of your own free will? I don't think it's either - we're restricted by our society and our culture. We might think we're "free" but everyone is influenced by how they're raised and their genetics.

Do you have a hunch about how you’re going to die? Nah. I just don't think about it, to be honest.

Do you believe in star signs? Nope.

How old do you have to be to be considered an adult? Well, in the UK it's eighteen which sounds about right to me?

Was your childhood happy? Yeah, overall I had a great childhood, especially when I was primary age. I was very lucky and have lots of good memories.

What are you missing from your life? Money and adventure.

Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? Yeah - my dad and no, we do not get along, hahah.

Do opposites attract? I think in some ways, but you do have to have some things in common or it just won't work out long-term.

Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago? Nope.

Do you know what you want out of life? I just want to be happy, really.

What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’? I don't think you can define "good", to be honest. I think I'm a pretty good person, but that's not saying much.

What fundamentally matters to you? Happiness, family, good health.

Is freewill an illusion? Absolutely. I don't really believe anyone is truly "free".

Do you create art? How do you define art? No. I have no desire to define "art" either.

How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful? Everyone lies - I lie to protect feelings - I just don't think it's necessarily worth hurting people's feelings.

Do you want to be remembered after your death? What for? I don't really care, to be honest. I mean, I'll be dead.

Is true world peace ever possible? No.

Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? I don't think I have particularly high standards for myself or for other people, hahah.

What do you expect from a friend or partner? Well, lots of things.

What question could you ask to find out the most about a person? That could differ depending on the person. I really can't be arsed wth this, hahah.

Which beliefs do you have that is most likely to be wrong? I want to have hope for my country, but I don't think it will happen in this lifetime.

Can humans really understand the complete nature of the universe, space and time? Probably not.

Is a consciousness what makes someone a person? No.

What do you think about artificial intelligence? I'm not impressed by it.

Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing? For me it only becomes a problem once you get all cult-like about it, and if it affects your daily relationships. Otherwise, go crazy with the escapism if it helps you and heals you.

Are we eventually going to ‘run out’ of new combinations for music, art, language, etc.? Is there a limit to human creativity? Not at all.

What do you think the next era of music will be like? I mean, AI acts are already coming out so maybe that. I'm vehemently not a fan of the concept though.

What do you think the next era of fashion will be like? Who the fuck knows. I never expected Y2K style to be a thing again so I'm happy to sit back not knowing what the next trends would be.

Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them? I think society has always lived in tumultuous times. This conversation essentially sits at the same table as the idea of the world never being able to achieve peace.

Would you want to meet a clone of yourself? Would you like them? It would be interesting and I think I'll find myself just fine.

How confident are you, really? I can hold my own for the most part but I also don't think I'm as confident as I think I am. There are many areas I have self-doubts on.

How consistent is your perception of time? I don't know what the hell this is asking.

What age should people be allowed to vote? Should children and teenagers be allowed to vote? No I don't think kids and teenagers should vote and I'm fine with having voted when I turned 18.

How do you feel about the idea ‘an eye for an eye’? Idk depends on the situation. When is this survey going to end LOL

What’s the worse thing a person can be? An animal abuser. I may hate them more than murderers, tbh.

How do you feel about monogamy? Nothing.

Can you be in love with someone and still fall in love with someone else? I guess it can happen but I personally disagree with it very strongly.

What’s the tragedy of your life? It hasn't happened and I try not to think in that perspective.

Would your life make a good play? No.

Should people be prosecuted for crimes that weren’t considered crimes at the time? Idk I'd have to ask my law friends for their thoughts on this.

Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? Nah and no.

Do you believe in gender equality in every aspect? Yes.

Do we have a moral obligation to care for others? To what extent? Well, not everyone. I wouldn't help someone who's been rude to me or my loved ones.

Do you crave approval and/or praise? As a lifelong people pleaser, yeah.

Is there comedy in all tragedy and tragedy in all comedy? OMG I don't care.

Are you ever going to be satisfied? I hope so.

When you are sad, do you listen to music that conveys your emotions or music that makes you happy? It depends. I can definitely go either way.

Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time? I'll listen to whatever.

Would you marry a friend if they needed you to (e.g. for citizenship)? No.

Are you a deep person? Based on my reactions to this survey so far, I can be deep but for the most part I prefer not to be.

Given the chance to live your life on Mars, with no hope of returning to Earth but with the promise of scientific discovery and glory, would you take it? No.

Are you who people think you are? I don't know what people think of me.

Do you think you would be happier if you had been born a different gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, nationality or religion? Depends. If I grew up in a country that cared more about their people than yeah probably.

What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it? I am responsible for pushing myself back. All the time. Yes I am and trying to switch jobs is the first thing I'm doing to fix that.

Do you anger easily? I can't remember the last time I was angry, but I do have a short fuse. I can be moody and can get easily irritated or impatient.

Are you a jealous person? Nah.

If you lost all your memories, would you have the same personality? Probably not.

Given the chance to reset your life (with none of the knowledge you currently have), would you take it? No thanks.

Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate? I guess. I don't hate anyone.

Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn? I dream in the two languages I speak. I would like to master Korean.

Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them? I think they reflect the state of my mind, like my stressors and such, but I don't think they mean anything.

How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately? Unconditionally. Too much for my own good, which is why I've backed off of it.

Is unrequited love real love? Sure.

Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? Um it's probably different idk.

Are you overly analytical? Sure.

Do you ever feel that you are really a terrible person, and only act good out of societal or some other obligation? No, I've never thought of myself in that way.

Do you believe in magic? Are you superstitious? No, no.

What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in? "Everything will be okay."

[dandelion-wings]

As a jean specialist, what kind of situation would you throw her in for optimized suffering revenue?

Ooooh, this is an excellent question, Anon. :O I spent some time thinking about it yesterday and I think I’ve boiled it down to a few key points? Obviously, physical suffering is easy and fun (and if you set it up right, Jean will do it to herself!), but if you want to optimize it, you want emotional suffering too. Which I think is actually a little harder with Jean? Because she strikes me as someone who a) compartmentalizes a lot, in general, and b) can cope better with just about anything if she thinks there’s a reason for enduring.

(E.g., torturing her is going to have less emotional payoff than it does physical, because all the good reasons to torture Jean are also good reasons for her to resist, and feel triumphant about resisting even if everything else sucks. On a similar note, torturing someone else to make Jean break is going to be more effective, but also provides the same opportunity for mental resistance, because if she doesn’t give in to save them it’s going to be for a high-priority reason that will still help her compartmentalize.)

But there are chinks in that, and after thinking about it a while, I think the most effective ones are:

someone else, someone innocent or vulnerable, gets hurt (kind of a gimme, but also fairly necessary, I think)

there is something in the situation that is Jean’s fault--some kind of screw-up, someone she trusted when she shouldn’t, etc.

it involves her failing somehow--Jean is canonically afraid of failing, not being enough, etc. (think of all her voicelines about how she needs to be doing more, doing better)

she’s helpless in the situation somehow/for some reason--I think this is lower priority than the others, but if we’re optimizing, it’s some nice extra flavor

as another sprinkle of ‘extra flavor,’ her Knights and/or the people of Mondstadt losing faith in her, whether as part of the cause of the situation or as a result of it, would probably be a pretty significant morale blow

So I think probably the setup I’d go with if I was trying to build a narrative out of this is: Jean fucks something up in the first place through human error, loses faith/trust out of it, because of that is not situated to deal with a more severe situation, and has to helplessly watch that happen. Which is a framework you could build off of in a lot of ways, if you wanted one! Or rearrange in a lot of ways.

(Two other things I thought about but didn’t put in the “chinks” list because they’re more situation-specific: a) pitting various of her ideals against each other, which I see mostly as happening in more political scenarios, and b) someone whose opinion she trusts and values* declaring her a danger or liability to the Knights/Mondstadt, which would tie into the fear of failure and have the extra emotional blow of it coming from someone she trusts. Both are partially relevant to your part 2 ask, by the way!)

Also, you could trolley-problem Jean pretty effectively, but I’m not sure I’m inventive enough to create a trolley-problem situation where she can neither find a third option nor convince herself that she made the choice that duty/her ideals demanded. (Not that she wouldn’t still feel plenty awful, in the latter case, but again we’re going for optimization here.)