#dysfunctional ass motherfuckers

[crying-adamantium]

The growth nandor makes is so fun but hes delusional if he thinks hes a victim. Y’all are both sick freaks. Peace and love.

[snnuysideup]

how the fuck do people deal with the anxiety that comes with perfectionism

i want to get back into voice acting but i'm nervous for NO REASON goddammit

[tomshelbystitsfics]

Untitled Fic.

Eventual!Carmen x Reader

(this is just the beginning for the fic. its storyline/plot building. also the reader is midsize. not skinny but not plus. in the middle)

(im posting this its the beginning to a fic im writing & i just wanted to post this lil excerpt. hoping to get some feedback & see what people think! please, let it rip:)

Home. Home? What did that word mean to you? It was a noisy, dirty, yet charming city. An old house, at least sixty years old. Paint now peeling, gutters full of old leaves and shit. Home, a minute's walk across the road. Inside a warm dish of delicious food awaits. Michael hands you that first plate. There it was, the moment of truth. Determining if you were friend or foe. Not really though, just testing to see if you were a narc. (Later you would argue with Mikey that his logic made no sense whatsoever.)

You found a home in the dysfunctional, crazy ass Berzatto family. They quickly accepted you as one of their own. Having been Carmy’s best (and only) friend. Always so polite and sweet. Until Mikey or Richie pissed you off. They were always picking on you and Carmy. And sometimes they pushed hard enough to set you off. That is exactly why you’re all in this situation now.

“Fucking A. You ain’t gotta hit me that hard asshole! Seriously, it was just a fucking joke man! Lighten the FUCK UP!” Richie yelled. You sat across the island from him. Mikey was digging through the freezer. He was trying to find something to ice Richie’s face. You had given the bastard a black eye and a bloody fucking nose. Mikey was more than impressed. So was Richie, but he wouldn’t be telling you that any fucking time soon.

“I’m sorry Rick,” he scowled as you called him that. “I tried to warn ya that you went too far, but no, you just had to go there.” He just stared at you, deadpan. You sucked in a breath, cheeks puffed out. Head in your hands you let out the breath. Standing up and making your way in front of the man. A hand extended out, an olive branch.

Scoffing he smacked the hand away. Your chest tightened, Richie was basically your older brother. His rejection hurt, a fucking lot in fact. Not wanting him to see the tears starting to well up, you start to turn away. That is when you feel it. Two long, solid arms wrap around you. Twisting around, you rest your chin on his shoulder and grasp the back of his old ass hoodie tight. Fingers clenching the fabric.

“It’s all good Doll. I still love ya. Even if you broke my goddamn nose.” Richie held you, then after a beat, “I mean shit. My cheekbone feels like a grown man split it, kid.” The tender moment was over for now. Richie is trying to make a joke out of it. You smirk, shoving him by the shoulders into his previous seat.

“ ‘S what ya get asswipe! Quit fucking with her when she says. It’s called ‘boundaries’ cousin? Ever heard of the concept?” Mikey slapped a steak on his eye. The other man groaned.

“FUCK SAKES MIKEY! Please, could ya be a little more considerate or some shit? I already got rocked. Don’t need a worse fucking bruise.” Mumbling as he pushed Mikey’s hand away, holding the slab of meat.

“I am not eating that shit later Mikey, no fucking shot.” Giggling, you give the man a kiss on the cheek. “What’s for dinner anyways?” The dark haired man seemed to think for a moment, then said something similar to what landed Richie his shiner and fucked nose.

“Ask Carmy, I’m sure he has a few ideas for what he wants.” Wagging his eyebrows at you. The smirk was audible. Mikey seemed to be proud of himself for the quip.

“Y-You…motherfucker.. I swear I’ll end you, Berzatto. YOU BITCH, C’MERE.” You took off around the island to where he stood in front of the kitchen sink. Richie was screaming and crawling up onto the counter, “ You two fucks better watch out for me. My shit’s busted enough. Get the fuck outta here!”

The memories of Mikey and the family keep swirling through your head as you stand in front of the funeral home. It had been a year since you physically saw any of the Berzatto clan. Too many years since seeing your best friend. Carmen Anthony Berzatto. A name you desperately wanted to forget. The name felt hollow to say, a distant memory. A smoke show that never existed except only in the dark recesses of your mind. Brought up when you wish to torture yourself even more than usual.

Drinking in the cold Chicago air, you begin the trek up the stairs. One measly step at a time. Hoping to calm your racing heart. It felt like the organ was lodged in your throat, bound to come up in a grisly mess at any second. The walk into the foreboding building felt like it took light years and seconds all at once. Standing before the doors, hand hovering over the knob. Psyching yourself up you finally grasp the knob and starting to pull and-

“Fucking Christ! This is fucking insane.” A familiar voice barks out. The door was quickly and haphazardly thrown open. PANG! Jumping back it only caught your arm a bit. The pain was nice and a needed distraction.

“Oh shit, I am so sorry, I-I didn’t realize anyone…” a small gasp of surprise and a tearful chuckle. Then a slow shaky intake of air, “Doll, is-is that you? Or am I just fucking nuts?” Desperation paints his tone. His words crack and waver with emotion, no, sadness and grief. And a bit of hope.

“Hey cousin, I guess it's only fair, I did bust ya up good when we were younger. An eye for a, uh- arm, I guess.” Your voice was thick with the tears ready to be shed. Before you know you’re shoved into his warm chest. All you smell is stale cigarettes, and his woodsy, Ed Hardy cologne. The aroma of smoke, along with bergamot and amber soothes you. There was a time you despised this fucking scent. It was always too strong and pungent. Telling Richie he smelt like a hooker, wanting to piss him off.

“At least one of us is shaking ass and making some cash Doll.” SMACK! Richie shook his hips at you.

“You made it inside yet? ‘Course not, fuck. I-I’m sorry Doll, my brain is fucking lost. I-I don’t have a goddamn clue about what’s going on.” Apologizing and rubbing his nose roughly.

“Can’t lose something you never had Rick.” You smirk, jabbing him in his ribs.

“Hardy har. You got fucking jokes, eh? Nice, real nice…Shit.” Richie let out a loud sigh and looked at his feet, “Don’t call me fucking Rick man. Shit wasn’t cool when you were a kid, sure as shit ain’t cool now pip squeak.” He smacked you lightly on the back of your head. Reaching into his coat he grabs a cigarette, and swings the pack towards you. You quit smoking, (mainly vaping) a year ago. But, fuck it.

It is a funeral after all. Might as well take the edge off somehow. Being sober was fucking awful at times. You both finished the cigarettes in silence. After stubbing the cherry out, you gestured to the door.

“Think we should, uh, ya know?”

Richie swallowed his nerves and gave a single nod. The man had a hold of the handle before you could even think about it. Walking into one of the absolute worst possible moments of your entire fucking life.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

I got beaten the shit out of by a really fit guy today (consensually - I’m doing boxing classes) and dear god I am learning things about myself. S this motherfucker beats the shit out of me and then takes his gloves off to touch my face to make sure I’m alright. I HAD NEVER MET THIS MAN BEFORE. I need to be put behind bars I am foaming at the fucking mouth.

Anyways made me think of stucky and/or evanstan sparring or doing stunt training and how much of a dysfunctional mess any of the boys would be on the receiving end of this bullshit and it made me feel better about the fact it is still on my mind after 8 fucking hours.

Oh

My

GOD

"S this motherfucker beats the shit out of me and then takes his gloves off to touch my face to make sure I’m alright."

He WHAT

Anon, baby, you're fucking living the dream. I love this for you.

I am imagining you all sweaty, knocked back onto your ass, breathing heavy, taking a break, with this trainer coming over, standing--towering over you, his hair damp with sweat and hanging over his forehead, but he's not even out of breath as he slips his gloves off to come over and gently take your jaw in his hands, tilting your head up to meticulously rake his eyes over your face, making sure you're not bruised or bleeding even though he was the one just hitting you and he damn well knows he hasn't hurt you--he couldn't. Just look at you. That face. He has to be sure, though. It's definitely that he doesn't just want to look at you more. No. Not at all. 👀

This 👏🏻 is 👏🏻 a 👏🏻 fucking 👏🏻 fanfiction 👏🏻 in 👏🏻 real 👏🏻 life 👏🏻

And this is absolutely something that went down with evanstan. Seb is you, the trainer is Chris.

Thank you for sharing!!

[hopeforchanges]

if you've never read the Silmarilion, you are depriving yourself of a major old school reality tv vibes in the vain of Big Brother. Tolkien really was the G, because if you think that the Greek gods have something on Tolkien's Valar, i'm here to tell you they're not even playing in the same league. not even in the same universe.

oh? you think Zeus is detached? Poseidon is kind of a dick and Hades just could not give less of a fuck about his dysfunctional family?

what if i told you that once upon a time there was a guy who was a big asshole and who rallied his entire race to go to war cause one other guy who was also even somehow bigger of an asshole (let's call him huge asshole) stole his shiny rocks? and the Valar did a total of fuck all to stop him from leading an entire race of people they essentially helped create and lived with in harmony to slaughter.

remember that huge asshole who stole the big's asshole shiny rocks? well he also happened to terrorize an entire continent with countless lives for centuries, meanwhile the Valar largely stay out of the conflict even though the huge asshole was technically their family and therefore their problem. Despite the pleas of the people, they remained indifferent, chillin' in the west five feet apart cause they're not gay, watching an absolute carnage unfold for several long centuries. It took several more hundreds of years and devastating battles before one guy with a backbone finally said 'had enough of this shit' and sailed to their West California/Malibu hangout to tell 'em they should get their fucking asses up and work.

so the Valar eventually are like 'jesus, okay' and stop the huge asshole but if you think that they were going to send sanitation or stimulus checks to the people who were left behind and broken by the war they did not care about to stop earlier even though they were the only ones who could, you have another thing coming cause they peace out and everyone else who cannot afford to go to their West California/Malibu hangout because they are not privileged enough or don't have the right background to go there and heal can fuck off and die.

then you might think, well, the huge asshole was defeated so now at least there should be peace and quiet for a while in the house, no? fucking no because it turned out the huge asshole polled really well in the demographic of young men and one of those young men decided to take up the huge asshole's mantle and make middle-earth great again or some shit. except his own crowd runs him out of town cause he is one of those people who think they can swing but they're actually just meow meows with anger issues and a staggering lack of self-awareness who really need to get laid. (on that later)

so the young man decides to go on vacation to an island that was basically created by the Valar as the paradise for those who helped defeat the huge asshole and he realizes he really likes this island full of assholes cause that's kind of the crowd he vibes with. and slowly but surely he comes to the conclusion that not only is the island full of assholes, it's full of the dumbest motherfuckers he has ever met in his life. he gets them to build worships and temples and statues to celebrate the huge asshole guy who died on the basis of their general huge asshole-ness they have in common with him. still, the Valar do nothing as the young man corrupts this island full of dumbasses and enslaves them to his will. they only intervene when the young man rallies them to band together and attack the West California/Malibu hangout. Which ends in complete destruction of the paradise island and a complete shift of the map of the world and the trajectory of its free peoples.

and this whole tangent is basically me reminding myself that yes, Hope, you can write an outlandish new chapter where absolute crazy batshit things happen to people who do not deserve it and have the Valar ignore it completely, because that is what they do.

they are trolling. they don't intervene when entire populations are destroyed, but when they randomly see the young man and an elf vibing on a shitty raft, Poseidon's Valar equivalent Ulmo gathers the clouds and tells his little helper Ossë who is responsible for storms and waves:

.... you know what would be really fucking hilarious ....

[wolvndmouth]

welp. here we are. i finally caved. i came back to tumblr for this gay ass shit because ao3 just wasn’t enough. my hunger for these two dysfunctional assholes has reached a new high and i am here to MOTHERFUCKING. EAT.

[draculancer-flow]

The zaza wiping my mind like I'm Clive Wearing. Going full Hopkins Doctrine on motherfuckers, never letting the pressure off the ops. When I nut it hits like a Vigilante Omnidirectional Launcher. I fuck with Xiaoli's Tenacity. Best not have a weak computer near me, slime, I'll hack your ass and give you erectile dysfunction. This shit ain't nothing to me, man!

Hello? John Creighton Harrison II?

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

~*~

1. Tw noncon Can someone write a fic of wen Ning getting gangraped by Jin disciples in front of wen qing as revenge for what the other wens did?

~*~

2. Can you recommend any fics with Wen Ning as a POV character?

In My Defence, I Have None (For Never Leaving Well Enough Alone) by SemiLocalCryptid (T, 73k, wangxian, Time Travel Fix-It, Established Relationship, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, POV NHS, but only for the first chapter, POV Alternating, between Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi for the rest, WWX may have no sense of self preservation but he does have a husband, No one touches LWJ's husband, NHS has no more fucks to give and will save his brother just watch him, WN is very confused about needing to breathe again, but is ultimately happy about it, BAMF WN, WN needs a hug, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, WQ is a queen and everyone should fear her, Fluff, Inventor WWX, Gratuitous amounts of Wangxian fluff, WIP) wen ning is a pov character here

The Moon Reflected Upon Two Springs by Rubberduckieassassin (M, 2k, Post-Canon, Fierce Corpse wn, WN-centric, Farmer WN, WN Needs a Hug, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics, Good Kid LSZ, Good Kid LJY, Wen Remnants Mentioned, Burial Mounds Settlement Days Mentioned, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Five Stages of Grief, Melancholy, Building A Home, Family Feels, W>N is learning how to 'live' again)

waiting (when the colors come) by frostferox (G, 2k, WN/WWX/LWJ, Modern, realizing polyam might be an option, Domesticity, Friendship)

Granny Knows Best by The_Snarkivist (T, 5k, OYZZ/WN, JL/LSZ, Getting Together, Fluff, Accidental Elderly Acquisition, WN Centric, Let Wen Ning Be Happy Agenda, Happy Ending, fast burn, Granny does know best, POV WN, Post-Canon)

Fierce Friends by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds (G, 32k, NMJ & WN; SL & WN, NMJ & SL & WN, NMJ/LXC, SL/XXC, JC/WN, Friendship, Give Wēn Níng Friends, Cinnamon Roll WN, Rabbits, NMJ’s body does NOT cooperate, WN Centric, Everyone loves WN, Dysfunctional Family, Found Family, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Graphic Depictions of Pining, heart eyes motherfucker, WIP) it switches though

This Time With Confidence. by INSPIRETOWRITE (T, 129k, LWJ/WWX/WN, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Angst, Time Travel Fix-It, Action/Adventure, Polyamory, Developing Relationship, LWJ has feelings, Cute, Blood and Gore, Cultivation Sect Politics, Demonic Cultivation, Pining, WN-centric, Rabbits, POV Multiple, Action, War, Battle, Eventual Happy Ending, Developing Friendships, WN is a cinnamon roll, Bad-ass WN, WWX has feelings, They don't know they have the same feeling until later, Cultivation Discussion Conferences, POV WN, Slow Burn, WIP)

~*~

3. Hello! Could I ask, for the next ITMF for fics where wwx experiences qi deviation of some kind? Thank you very much!

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics)

Confrontation by LtLJ (G, 21k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, discussion of a canon suicide attempt, breaks from canon during the timeskip, BAMF WWX, BAMF Everybody, Canon-Typical Violence, JC &WWX Reconciliation, BAMF NHS, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Complicated Relationships, canon-typical curses, Canon-Typical Behavior) It is part 4 of a series so it makes more sense to start with the first one which is Brotherhood

~*~

4. CW: Trauma

Good day! I saw "Life as a house" by Terri Botta from the previous ITMF. I gave it a shot and read it, it is well written and I enjoyed the process of how they recover from their trauma, the reconciliation, and everything. For the next ITMF, do you guys know any fic that is close to this fic? Similar in terms of their journey to heal from their past/trauma, from seeing psychiatrist, discussing mental health, or about therapy. @httpskaixx

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Parent(s), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Past Suicide of a Parent, References to Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, References to Anti-Depressant Medications, Escort Service, Loneliness, Everybody’s Abandonment Issues, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Moving In Together, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, Hopeful Ending, Recovery, References to Escorting/Sex Work but No Actual Escorting/Sex Work)

~*~

5. Want recommendations for slow burn angsty stories of wangxian

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gūsū Lán Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

6. Hi! ITMF wangxian cuddle porn or just lwj being so comforting for wwx and vice versa. It would be amazing if that was incorporated in longer fics though anything would be welcomed. Something for reference is “A Cyborg's Three Laws” by FairyGardenCorgis and “try a little tenderness” by ilip13. Thank you so much!

Just Ask Me To Stay by mrcformoso (M, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, Former JZ/WWX, Minor NieLan, Minor XuanLi, No Powers, Dancer WWX, Musician LWJ, Roommates, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Break Up, Post-Break Up, Recovery, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Light Angst, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Domestic Fluff, LWJ Has a Big Dick, WWX Has a Breeding Kink, Size Queen WWX, Belly Bulge, Porn With Plot, WWX Has Friends, LWJ Has Friends, Hurt/Comfort, A lot of comfort, Romantic Comedy, Cuter story than the summary makes it out to be, Feel-good) modern!AU cuddly lwx cheering post-breakup wwx

The Art of Communication by mrcformoso (G, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Meet-Cute, Engineering Student WWX, Music Student LWJ, Swimmer WWX, Martial Artist LWJ, POV Outsider, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Communication Issues, But Wanxian Makes it Work, LWJ has limited words, WWX has too many words, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Love Languages, Requited Love) ModernAU! Soft Wangxian where they make their communication issues work

~*~

7. Hello again! I want to ask for a itmf about powerhouse wwx, inspired from this post

More detailed: The Scene with the water ghouls, wwx proposes to jump in the water (bc hes just that strong) in combination with lwjs thoughts and competency kink? Please? I hope that was understandable, English isn‘t my first language, sorry. @desperation-is-my-middle-name

Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 108k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war, WIP)

My chain hits my chest/When I’m bangin’ on the radio by x_los (T, 2k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, case fic, competence kink, YLLZ WWX)

Howling by MimiSpearmint (E, 40k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, Modern with Magic, Mortal Instruments Fusion, Horror, Eldritch, Domestic Fluff, Single Parent WWX, Witchcraft, Northern Ireland, fluffy but I cannot emphasise how much horror there will be, Celtic Mythology & Folklore, Case Fic, Getting Together, shifter lwj, yllz wwx, Intercrural Sex, Hand Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, playing fast and loose with canon, off-screen beloved character death, Switch wangxian, a bit of a degradation kink, anti-STI sex talismans, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Cameos by various characters)

hills and rivers by LtLJ (T, 56k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, the family that hunts demons together stays together, and doesn’t murder each other, Case Fic, BAMF WWX, Mojo’s post)

~*~

8. itmf some good ol' damsel in distress lwj @jawla-mukhi

silk threads and precious metal by Sevidri (M, 4k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Whump, Blood and Injury, WWX' Canonical Vengeful Streak, LWJ Makes A Beautiful Damsel in Distress, Non-Consensual Ribbon Touching, Protective wwx, Hurt LWJ)

Vagabond by xantissa (E, 65k, wangxian, Slow Burn, Mystery, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Frottage, Case Fic, murders, Supernatural, Angst, Fluff, those two are so in love it hurts, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, badass LXC, Canon-Typical Violence, topLWJ, Bottom LWJ)

~*~

9. Itmf time travel fics where Wei Wuxian is caught in a time loop reliving the Sunshot Campaign and ensuing Burial Mounds years over and over until he can save everyone? Thank you!

Karma by English is my death (Lena013) (T, 2k, JGY/XY/WWX, wangxian, LXC/JGY, XY/XXC, Time Loop, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Misfortune Fellows, JGY & WWX Friendship, JGY & XY Friendship, WWX & XY Friendship, (but they all hate each other), White-Haired WWX, But temporarily, XY is a Brat, XY Is A Little Shit, POV JGY, YLLZ WWX, Drama, Drabble, Humor, Immortal WWX, Immortal XY, Immortal JGY, These are cut pieces from their eternity together, By this point they had become insane)

~*~

10. Hi! I was hoping you could help me bc I was on Twitter & saw someone else mention that they wanted to read it but I was hoping that you had any fics where YLLZ!WWX time travels to the future? (Possibly ends up shtupping himself along the way.) I can’t remember if there are any besides ‘a tide between two seas’ but I know that’s more multi-verse travel! @arisuamichan

不忘 | Don’t Forget by dragongirlG (E, 50k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Reincarnation, Fix-It of Sorts, Identity Porn, Social Media, Devotion, Reunions, Feelings, Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Light Bondage, Names, References to Canon, Modern Era, Artist WWX, Sexual Content, Pining, POV Multiple, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

忘不了你的爱 (can’t forget your love) by PorcupineGirl (G, 25k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler WWX, discussion of canonical character deaths, a whole lot of handwaving, conveniently localized fires, Discussion of Canonical Suicide Attempt, mostly happy but slightly bittersweet ending) first fic in a series

so when you go wherever it is you will go, take the moon with you by comforting_monachopsis (T, 115k, WWX & WWX, WWX & WN, WWX & WQ, wangxian, JYL & WWX & JC, past WWX/SS, past WWX/XY, Thirteen Years of WWX's Death, Canon Divergence, Literary References & Allusions, Time Travel, Dimension Travel, Private Investigators, Private Investigator WWX, Professor LWJ, Trauma, Serial Killers, Strangers to Lovers, BAMF WWX, Hurt WWX, WWX Needs Therapy, Modern Era, WIP)

atlas in his sleepin’ by anatheme (E, 48k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Reincarnation, Family Reunions, Dimension Travel, temporary transmigration, Transmigrator!LWJ, Angst with a happy ending)

drop me down to the dream below by AroPeterWam (E, 44k, wangxian, WWX & XY, Time Travel, Comfort/Angst, basically there is reincarnation and because of that WWX lives in both timelines, changes had to be made to fit this story, JC comes to terms with his emotions, Angst with a Happy Ending, Reincarnation, POV Alternating, ooc because different lives, fluff, Canon Divergence, Memory Related, explicit for like that one scene, Adopted WWX, sick WWX, Dimension Travel, Noncultivator WWX, JC & WWX Reconciliation, XY Deserves Better, time swap, WIP)

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades by Phantomhill (T, WWX & Juniors, JL/LJY, OYZZ/A-QIng, wangxian, College/University AU, Modern, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Original Character(s), Background Relationships, Murder, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Character Death, the juniors are doing their best, NHS has plans, not a reincarnation fic, JYL lives, JZX lives, WIP)

worm moon by serein (E, 103k, JC/WWX/LWJ, Post-Canon, Mystery, Angst, Humor, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Identity Issues, Demonic Cultivation, eventual polyamory, Cults, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied past cannibalism, Switching, Canon-Typical Violence, Doppelganger, POV Alternating, Character Study, Explicit Sexual Content, Reverse Golden Core Reveal, mild horror elements)

So Call Me a Pessimist, but I Don’t Believe in It by Anonymous (Not Rated, 127k, WIP, WangXian, Food Issues, Family Feels, WWX is a music teacher, WN and WWX are Best Friends from the future, They use memes to talk covertly, Transmigrator WWX, transmigration au, Slow Burn) This is the opposite but I think OP will LOVE it

refrain; a musical phrase repeating in a song or instrumental piece Series by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T/G, 51k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Sort Of, Memory Loss, Canon-typical dismemberment, Post-Series, but also mid-series ya feel, Changing Tenses, Protective LWJ, Everybody Lives, Confused WWX, Crack Treated Seriously) This is… also the opposite? Sorta? In which everyone from the future gets pulled back except for him

~*~

11. itmf hostage!LWJ, with WWX going berserk, kinda

silk threads and precious metal by Sevidri (M, 4k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Whump, Blood and Injury, WWX' Canonical Vengeful Streak, LWJ Makes A Beautiful Damsel in Distress, Non-Consensual Ribbon Touching, Protective wwx, Hurt LWJ) (link in #8)

the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt economics, Post-Canon, [Podfic] the field meets the wood by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona), [podfic] the field meets the wood by jellyfishfire)

~*~

12. I'm holding out serious hope for some pride and prejudice au wangxian. I don't care about setting or time period, I just want that delicious Lizzy/Darcy dynamic with LWJ being a classist dick to WWX and instead of just trying harder and harder WWX's like fuck that asshole and then then oh no, LWJ falls in love and WWX wants none of it. (I mean, I'd love a subplot where LWJ tries to talk JZX out of marrying JYL, too, but not strictly necessary). Any pics out there remotely like this? @moku-youbi

In Wanting by thaliagrayce (T, 39k, wangxian, Enemies to Lovers, Inspired by Pride and Prejudice, Miscommunication, No Sunshot Campaign, we are ignoring all of the canon political drama to substitute our own, non-graphic depictions of torture, cw: offscreen XY)

Clans and Cultivation by ChalionKat (G, 81k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, ChengQing, SongXiao, Regency, Pride and Prejudice Fusion)

~*~

13. Hi! 🤗 It's me, again. 😅

For the next ITMF, lately I'm looking for fics where WWX gets pregnant of LWJ. I'd prefer not abo fics, but if there is some good, it's ok too. I love Canon Divergence fics, Cloud Recesses arc, only the bad people dies and happy endings.

Thank you so much! ❤️😊 @wangxiansgirl

Unexpected Lullaby by SilverStark (T, 30k, WangXian, Minor Original Character(s), Unplanned Pregnancy, Post-Canon, Mpreg, Non-ABO, Fluff, Established Relationship, Reconciliation, Family, Dual Cultivation Baby)

🧡 Many Lan babies Series by LuckyMoonly (Varied, 396k, WIP, WangXian, Story collection, Mpreg, Pregnant WWX only, Family Fluff, Found Family, Kid fics)

Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)

Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, wangxian, canon divergence, communication, established relationship, sunshot campaign, mpreg, canon typical violence, WWX has new golden core, canonical character death, happy ending, fix-it of sorts)

🧡 Like Rabbits by Setari (T, 41k, WangXian, Kid fic, Canon rewrite, Mpreg, Miscarriage scare, Crack treated seriously, Hopeful ending)

And they can always check the pregnancy comps! A/B/O is always tagged, so it can be avoided!

🧡 Accidents Will Happen by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 45k WangXian, Post Canon, Mpreg, Fluff, Light angst) I'm absolutely obsessed with

~*~

14. Hello! 👋 I just find this blog and I saw that we can ask fics. This is for In the mood for.

My favorites fics are the ones where Wwx comes back in time and fix everything, get together with Lwj soon and saves everyone. I love longer fics. Thanks ☺️

~*~

15. For itmf I was wondering if anyone had some recs for ChengXian mpreg with WWX as the carrier. @dragonfairies

~*~

16. Hello! For my ITMF I'm looking for a fic where wwx flinches/gets scared from the Zidian (either held my jc or yzy) and people find out about his ptsd with the whip? Just want some justice and comfort for our bb boi @mrcformoso

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 686k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) So none that I can think of exactly, but this one has some tasty, tasty justice

~*~

17. Hey, Im looking to read a fic or 2 where WWX wasnt in control of himself during his “k ll everyone faze” after the Wens are k lled and/or when his eyes turn red. So I guess like a burial mounds possession type deal? And if WWX is like seeing it all from inside, watching as all this tragedy unfolds at what he interprets as his own hand, for spice. May I have a fic rec or as many as you can find, please? @0call-me-rin0

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[twilightlight-enashinonome]

omg you guys r so good!! i tried listening to vbs’s “music” and it was just awful i’m glad i found real artists lmao

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME.

Alright, listen here, you little asswipe. I don't know who you think you're talking to but I can see why you hid your pathetic little opinions behind that fucking anon label because you KNEW this was backhanded hate and you just think I'm stupid don't you? I'll tell you what, you .5 on a good day good for nothing dick-breath shrimp-ass-posture having motherfucker, maybe you can't tell because your brain is too rotted by cheeto dust, but vbs has some of the best music I and anyone else in the history of the fucking universe will ever hear in their short, pathetic lives. Some of THE BEST. THE. REALEST. are you fucking listening? This group is not just gonna surpass RADder, they'll surpass all the fucking musicians that ever have and ever will make music. they'll surpass MOZART. BACH. BEETHOVEN. those old dead guys will be ROLLING IN THEIR GRAVES and when they emerge from the ground as zombies they're gonna go for YOU first, people who can't comprehend REAL music. people who don't know what GOOD is. and they'll find that they starve, because zombies eat brains and you HAVE NONE OF THOSE. there's nothing in your head, your skull is thicker than the length of the great wall of fucking china and when things DO get through it they go NOWHERE. Don't think that anon label is gonna save you, I'll fucking find you, and when I smack your head with a baseball bat it'll make the sound of a goddamn boomwhacker because it's HOLLOW. I'll get your address and I will hire someone to BUILD A VENUE right next to YOUR HOUSE and I'll get vbs to perform for you for 48 hours like the world's most spiteful fucking serenade. I will somehow get my lazy nocturnal ass up early to arrange a collaboration with vbs so we can weed bobbleheaded bumbling fucking idiots like you out of niigo's fanbase, YOU ARE NOT FUCKING WELCOME HERE. I hope your dysfunctional braincells shut down entirely and you walk off a cliff into an angry raccoon nest and one of them bites your dick off. I hope you get so many mosquito bites in places you can't reach and nobody cares about you enough to scratch them for you and every backscratcher you try and get is sold to you by some sleazy scammer. I hope your fucking crops wither and your livestock die and your family gets the plague and you have to eat dirt to survive but even the earthworms won't claim you because you're so disgusting. I hope you get jumped by unhinged vbs fans in a back alley and I'm among them so the last thing you see is my face. get out of my fucking inbox.

go stream kashika. i'm logging off for the night.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Delta anon here and I've got more headcanons, this time based around Delta/Beta's ADHD.

So since they have ADHD (I'd imagine that Sans would have the inattentive type and Beta would have the hyperactuve type, causing Delta to have the combo), they are insanely good at reading people (this is also because of their combined trauma but we don't gotta worry about that right now). Literally first meeting with someone and they've already figured out the person's intentions. And if the person angers them? Then they'd better be prepared to get the biggest, most brutal callout of their lives. This applies to everyone.

Another thing I'd imagine that affects them is the processing time and memory issues that come with ADHD (excuse me while I project here). Their reaction time is incredibly quick because that's what they've trained themselves to do, but their processing time for literally anything else is so SLOW. And because of this, they both have memory issues (they have it reguardless of ADHD, but the ADHD definetly amplifies it).

They have good enough memory to remember basic and important things, but some things slip their minds. Take birthdays, for example. They will know what your birthday is and if it's coming up. But will totally forget the day of because in their mind, it's still months or weeks away. Time usually slips away from their memory. He also forgets his age sometimes. It will surprise them every time.

However, they're forgetful enough with time that it will always surprise them. They will wonder why they feel sick, and then realize they haven't eaten all day. But since when was it the next day already? When did the day even start? This is why the Epic Sanses all have alarms to remind themselves and each other to take breaks, eat, and drink.

Speaking of eating. Do NOT let these motherfuckers cook. And I mean that literally. They get distracted incredibly easy, and will 100% forget they left the oven on. When they remember to focus on cooking, then they're very good at it. But on the days where they're incredibly distracted? Don't let their asses in the kitchen unless it's to get a snack or make coffee.

Again speaking of eating, if they are presented with a new food, they will at the very least try it, no matter how it looks or smells. But if they dont like it, you're never gonna get them to take a second bite. They will most likely never eat that food again. (However, they will be polite about it. They won't be an ass unless they know you personally enough to know that they can be.)

Another thing is, they are both incredibly good at masking their emotions. Beta is used to it from the abuse he suffered, but it takes Delta a lot longer to fully master, since he usually acts out on his emotions. But now that they've mastered it, they are capable at displaying a totally different emotion than how they actually feel. They can also mask the glow at will, but the burn from hiding it hurts them immensely. Once they get to a safe space for them to lash out with no one around, they do.

When they get overstimulated, they either shut down or have to restrain themselves from getting violent. It depends on what is bothering them, but usually it's one or the other. They will immediately begin searching for the nearest 'out' so they don't get too angry and accidentally hurt anyone.

Along with that, they have no filter. Zero. If they want to say something, they will say it and not think twice - until it's too late. Which is why the method of Color or Epic whacking them in some way to correct them was implemented.

I also think that they might have heightened empathy. Not to the extent of Color's, but enough that they'd put everyone before themselves, even people they don't like at times. Because of this, they don't handle grief well.

Executive dysfunction hits them like a bitch. Every time.

Hyperfixations. Oh boy. They definitely have those. (Maybe a few too many.) Beta, being what I'd assume to be the hyperactive type, most likely fixates on anything that makes him happy or gives him a sense of safety/security. This also goes for ideas. Delta is greatly influenced by these things, but also has hyperfixations of his own, such as his workshop and engineering things.

(They share the same hyperfixation of wanting to always be there for people and protect them, no matter who or what it's from. Hyperfixations can last years, and theirs definitely did, and will probably continue. And although it is the main motive for why they do what they do, it is most definitely a hyperfixation.)

They stim. So much. Usually it involves taking something apart and putting it back together (such as a pen), playing with their hands or tapping patterns on something, or getting up and moving around.

Also, all those little details you think they'd miss when interacting with them? Thanks to Beta's hypervigilance, they notice everything. They'll have memorized your talking pattern, some of your interests, and the sound of your footsteps/the way you walk within the first month of knowing them.

They LOVE strategy games. Absolutely love them. Unfortunately, they take them too seriously sometimes (they are banned from UNO, Sorry, and Monopoly).

They have mild sensory issues that can heighten if they're overstimulated. Usually it revolves around touch and noise, which is why they like to stay in familiar environments with people they know well. It's also is why they often don't get new clothes, both because they don't like shopping and because it can be much too loud for them sometimes, especially if they get caught off guard by the feel of something (ex; something looked soft, and they touch it, and it turns out to be scratchy, and they will LOSE it).

They are so friendly. Like really friendly. They definitely have a RBF, and are obviously intimidating, but if someone manages to get past that and approach them for whatever reason, they will be friendly at first as long as the other person isn't trying to start a fight. This goes for everyone except people they dislike. In spite of this, they don't have many friends, but definitely have TONS of acquaintances.

They are so dramatic. They are incredibly sassy, but know how to make it funny rather than annoying. They get away with a lot of things due to this. But Beta is definetly the most dramatic.

Their main thought process when doing something crazy, stupid, or chaotic is basically; 'hey, wouldn't this be so fucking funny??' And sometimes, they're right.

There are specific textures and sounds that they love. Smooth, soft textures? Love it. Anything they wear must be soft to some extent. Background noise? Literally cannot work without it. If they're in the workshop, some sort of background noise must be on at all times.

Anyways, that's all I got. Thoughts?

My thoughts are that this is honestly so relatable it’s scary. I can see both myself and my entire immediate family in these two goobers wtf.

Anyway, I love the idea of protecting and saving people becoming a hyperfixation its very cool to me.

And I also fuck with the idea that have tons of acquaintances but very few friends, probably in large part because people find them a little intimidating and then once someone sticks around long enough to get past that, they find them “too friendly” or “too much.”

Which is why I think they hold Color and Epic very closely to them because they were Delta’s first friends since he lost in his home and went to the Omega Timeline, and probably is an even bigger reason why Color and Epic’s equally close but no less somehow different relationships with Killer and Cross probably make them feel a little scared and perhaps worried about being left or about them being hurt.

Which would likely play into that protecting/saving fixation a lot more.

And also their anger problems. I’d imagine that’s something they often feel around Killer when Killer is still going through his “socialization” period lmao. There’s probably many a time where they just had to straight up leave a room Killer was in or else they’d probably do something they might regret later, and would hurt Color. Everyday they’re grateful that at least Cross isn’t this difficult to deal with.

But also if they try everything at least once, id like to imagine that if they and Killer get on better terms and Killer is starting to get back into the swing of things like cooking or using stoves and stuff, that they function as like his taste tester. Once they manage to trust that Killer hasn’t tampered with the food somehow, of course. (although I wouldn’t really trust these two adhd dissociative fuckers alone together in a kitchen with a stove something will go wrong somehow lmao)

And if they both love strategy games maybe that’s something they can bond with Killer on and possibly Cross. I do think Killer and Nightmare used to play chess sometimes, a little headcanon I have. Maybe he can engage in the nostalgia a bit without having to worry about upsetting Color by talking about Nightmare (Color is just rightfully pissed and hates Nightmare, he doesn’t have an issue with Killer talking about him or his feelings about his captivity and treatment by Nightmare ofc)

[trenchgardens-ooc-ooc-ooc-ooc]

i'm sure One Million Kazillion people have asked you this but if not Perpep for the ask game?

Just one more! This is specifically for Beforan Perpep. Not Bard's Collage or Alternia. Perpep

favorite thing about them Playing her is so fun. She's just a little guy. She is just a little guy, yknow? I also love how she talks. Its not the best transcribed on my part but its just cute. Her intonation is cute.

least favorite thing about them Probably just my... like. Inability to keep up with her timescale... I decided all my ocs have some time distortion shit going on with them because of my executive dysfunction. There are. several things in her drafts that are there because i wanted to draw a picture for it and never did. There are... so many...

favorite line Ok so if youve been here for a while, she once was really mad at Raveri, the other Raveri, and wrote a whole rant about him. That was funny I liked that. I also liked the time she was talking about the horrorterrors and drew one of them with her text.

brOTP Uhhhhhh I still dont really get this im ngl. An otp but platonic, so either a qppr or like... just being good friends? buddies? Well that'd've probably also been old Raveri. They were sopor chess buddies. They did sopor slime and played chess.

OTP Uh... Hm... Yknow, again, I don't really ship Perpep. I guess her alt!self Oftcas has an 'otp' with (B!)Detheo. Their wierd fuckin biuniversal asses. Postgame she has a pitch thing going on with Somati, but her whole situation makes it kind of... I think her intimacy is pretty heavily wounded. Yknow... from being a human pet. Being without a relationship after so long of it being the default is hard though. Something that happens during the game that makes this part easier, but she does feel it really intensely. It's why she gets with Somati actually. Its technically pitch and she thinks of it that way even if it resembles a pale relationship a little more because of how Perpep is. It's not entirely NOT pale on somati's part, but it is pitch. Not the angry kind of pitch though, the like... theyre two individually really chill people who start fucking with shit to compete when theyre together. Mentos and coke ship.

nOTP Shrugs. You'd probably think I'd say Perpep and her culler, but thats narratively interesting to me. Uhhh I guess she would be really bad with Alpha Detheo. Like they wouldn't mix at all and their preconceptions about the other would clash so bad i think they might just kind of avoid eachother a little bit. Curiosity on both sides, with fear twinging Perpep's and logical guilt on Detheo's. Logical guilt being like... not guilt guilt but like. Ah a version of me hurt this person in a very sick way. This has added a level of morality to my self image that is troubling and I will have to consider deeply what went wrong in my other life to ensure something like that does not happen in this one. Also I should stay away from Perpep because she definitely doesn't want any more Detheo in her life. (Not entirely wrong on that last count but not right either)

random headcanon Perpep is the cuddliest motherfucker on the planet. During her session, about from the Entering when she loses track of Cinimon to her death during the Among Us conference between her, Miyers, Respit, and Sphinx, she's really fucking nervous and crabby because of touch starvation. Thats actually part of why she throws so much shade during that little meeting. She's not got a lot of emotional skill, so when she feels negatively, those emotions leech into her other emotions like dye in water. She has a hard time distinguishing between different stressors almost. Like if her emotional state was a body, and her stress was caused by a horsefly biting her on one side, she would project the same anger in every direction. She's new to this, yk.

unpopular opinion uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh My unpopular opinion is you should go on her blog and look at the posts under #captures and appreciate those drawings :-)

song i associate with them Ohoho. Hold on let me get the Perpeplaylist Taroko by August Greenwood Death by Melanie Martinez New Normal by Jack Stauber Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown I Can Talk by Two Door Cinema Club Otherside by the Red Hot Chilipeppers Sports by Beach Bunny (Voiceclaim also) Wreckingball specifically the cover by The Orion Experience In that order. LMK if you have any guesses on how her timeline fits to those. I feel like its pretty obvious but I am also the writer so yk.

favorite picture of them

This is stil the funniest thing ive ever drawn i think. She flashbanged herself poor fishie.

This one which is still way detailed. Im kinda sad no one ever asked about the collar, to get a closer look at the picture, the bullet, the rook, the tiny grub hons, the necklaces, the bident, or . any of that. I also planned to have it be more obvious that those are *somati's* clothes. If you look in captures you'll see his dad's dead body. Thats where she got the sgrub disks. College and Exec disorder got in the way of the pictures of Snapdad i planned for Somati to post... I might end up redoing that though. Shrug.

And obviously this picture from her postgame band on Continua. LOOK At her. she is such a sweetie.

[milfzatannaz]

being a magic DC fan sucks ASS bc at the end of the day everything is related to Batman. Zatanna became an old flame, Constantine flirts with him, Tim Hunter in all of his obscure vertigo era got punched in the face by Batman. I am BEGGING. begging!!!! DC to stop making every character surround that dysfunctional middle aged man-baby furry looking motherfucker

[hello-nichya-here]

Kyuubi7 asked: Idk how tumblr works, so I figued I'd ask here. What are your thoughts on the game Coffin of Andy and Leyley? Idk if you've heard of it or played it, but the main characters have a lot of similarities to Zuko and Azula at their most toxic, in my opinion.

***

Buddy, not only have I heard of it, I absolutely love it. My obsession with Andrew and Asheley (both as a couple and as characters) is not quite on the same level as my obsession with Zuko and Azula yet, but my God, they have the potential to get there. The Coffincest pair is far more dysfunctional and toxic than Zucest, same for their family (which is saying a lot considering how horrible Ozai is) but it's impossible not to notice some simmilarities.

Angsty, brooding older brother that is clearly done with everyone's shit? Check. Energetic, bratty, super manipulative younger sister that is both cute and scary as fuck? Check. Severe neglect/full on abuse going on the family? Check. Mom favoring the son over the daughter? Check. Some dumb people in denial about the incest until it is explicitly shown, and then still trying to argue that only the sister wants it, but the brother needs to be coerced/manipulated into it, despite the fact that he's clearly just as horny as she is? Motherfucking check.

There are just SO many moments of the first two chapters that I can totally see working for Zucest. All the banter, the teasing, the FLIRTING. Andrew freaking out about them possibly being discovered to have killed someone, not because he's afraid of going to jail, but because, in his words "They'll take you away from me". Ashley's psychotic, obsessive, murderous behavior whenever another girl dares to show interest in her brother is basically "Azula if she ever went full Yandere mode."

Andrew saying he doesn't need an excuse to grab Ashley's ass and then grabbing it in front their mother, yet still being shocked, horrified and extremely awkward the second he's forced to confront the truth of it not being regular sibling behavior, but rather obvious signs of an incestuous attraction/affair is pure Zuko vibes, and Ashley deciding to give Andrew the silent treatment until she apologizes - even though she doesn't know what the hell he's supposed to apologize to her for - is Bratty!Azula to the core.

The two pairings are ridiculously simmilar and I adore them.

[euclydya]

HII BLORBO BINGO!! Dark and Soul? :] <22

HIIIIII BELOVED <22 HELLO OKAY SO:

im normal about myself as a character tee hee. THEE og edgelord motherfuck like WAOW!!!!!!!!!! WHADDAHELL........ looking and pointing @ source!me liek WAAAAOWWEWE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUUUUU <3333 LOV THAT FOR HIM TBH!!!!!! extremely manipulative but charming I would fall for source!me's bullshit instantly <== autosexual. liwk i said im normal abt myself as a character LMAO

i know i ticked off the "has committed horrific atrocities" box but i vividly remember while watching compilations of mark's sketch videos uhhhh. seeing this one bit of a sketch that i CANNOT find rhe full video for but anyways lemme describe it. it's of santa talking about the egos okay and he describes canon!me as something like "an absolute sweetheart" who "hasn't murdered anybody" or something along those lines it's BEEN a minute I'll have to hunt down the video I saw this in again but anywyas i think that's so funny. My edgelord ass has a kill streak of zero. i love that. Usufhdjandjdjsjdjdjsdj (fun fact santa then goes on to say that Google has a kill streak of 5 iirc whicu is so funny too like. Yeah of course he does. HSSHSJDJDN)

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!! normal abt Myself. giving Myself a lil smooch on the cheek. i lov source!me so much i think if source!me met system me he would be disgusted JSAJSKDKDJ

NOW ONTO SOUL:

THAT'S MY!!!!!!!!! FUCKIGN CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK OK. DID YOU KNOW SOUL IS EPIC AS FUCK. I LOV THAT GUY IT'S SO COOL!!!!! holds her gently liwk hamburger. She's been 5hrough so many Horrors in canon and irl like whasaaat the fuck for Real!!!! i will Protect It with My Life thanks. we have so many thoughts on Soul As A Character tbh but i can't access them rn we're not in CC.CC Mode™ anymore <////3. but just know that Soul is So Importance to us.

holds Soul FAR AWAY from the fandom back off you do NOT know it liek we do <== plurality bias. Soul can do no wrong btw [#lie. she's committed many violences in source and in canon This We Know. dhsjajdjdjsjsdndnandndn]. but i DON'T care that's my child I love it so much i am a proud father. like yesss bestie kill <2 HAIAAISKDJDJSJDJSJDSKSKDK she could stab me to bastard death with her trident and I'd be like WOW IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!! :'D!!!!!!!!! FHDJSJDDKSODI

im explodinf her with my mind for enrichmence. im tucking her into bed and reading it bedtime stories. i am taking it to the park to have father child bonding time. wait the fact that it adopted me as its dad is so funny im one of the most dysfunctional people here LMAO

-Dark

[ralith]

Venting time because I just got back from my stepbrother's funeral.

I will preface this by saying I understand every family has different traditions and dysfunctions, and that I'm only looking in from the outside, so I can't understand the things I saw today. But I will rant about it.

To begin, yes, they thought it was a good idea to bury my stepbrother on 4/20 despite suffering from alcohol and drug abuse his whole life, and it's a drug overdose that killed him. They thought he would find it funny. Y'know what, maybe he would've. I only met him once a few years back so I didn't know him well.

We got to the chapel late because we had to pick up my other stepbrother and his gf. He was dragging his feet getting ready and when they get in the car they stink of cigarettes, which tells me we're late bc they needed to light up.

Now my chest begins to burn from the smell.

The ceremony was good except for the one motherfucker who didn't silence their phone 🙄

We get to the graveside, a few more words are said, and the grave digger is standing awkwardly to the side, ready to begin filling the hole.

Then my stepbrother's birth mother suddenly whips out a bag of fucking Nips and passing them out before saying something rather stereotypical and offensive.

Finally the urn is placed in the ground, the grave digger begins to fill the hole, and family lingers around.

Then, in yet another "what the fuck" moment, the old gf of my steobrother sits down beside the grave, lights a joint ("in his honor") and starts passing the fucking thing around.

I'm done at this point, I get in the car, and of course my waste of human existence stepbrother and his gf shared the joint and now the car smells to hell of cigarette smoke and skunk ass.

My chest is aching from the smell and it's still tight as i type this. I'm also getting a headache in the car from it all.

We then went to a restaurant and the food was good and I could begin to unwind a bit. Then on the way home my stepbrother starts complaining how he doesn't have enough money for cigarettes and if my stepdad could give him some cash and it took every matter of my being to keep from me whipping around and saying shit like "you smell bad enough as is. You don't need more cigs."

So I'm back home now and tired and I think the secondhand smoke is ramping up my anxiety/OCD because it was maintained okay earlier, but it's bad now.

[north-wilkesboro-moonshine-cave]

thank you to @mossistyping and @oxygenpdf for the tag!

Do you make your bed? I really really try to... but i usually do it when i come home these days.

Favourite number? usually 4, but I also am fond of 2, 13 (because I thought it was sad when i was little that it was unlucky). Also huge fan of 11 and 21.

What's your job? technically graduate student, but I also work in a grocery store (ugh)

If you could go back to school, would you? sort of. I think I'd love to get another bachelors if I had the chance but also. Deadlines. my enemy. (also grad school kicked my ASS this year)

Can you parallel park? I cannot drive, so the answer is not really. however in theory I know how to and have done so successfully (once)

Do you think aliens are real? kinda? not in a way that impacts us, really.

Can you drive a manual car? no!!!!

Guilty pleasure? I have an unironic love of reality television and although it is hilariously academic, man do i love some trashy reality tv. I also love watching just. terrible movies or movies that definitely aren't good or possibly good enough to be even cult classics. this is what novelty seeking does to a motherfucker friends. this is also not much of a guilty pleasure but damn do i love nothing more than an international soap opera.

Tattoos? none yet, but if i ever get over my pain tolerance and fear of needles i have a few i'd like.

Favourite colour? green!

Favourite type of music? I've been very fond of art pop and baroque pop recently, that caroline polachek and florence and the machine type of stuff.

Do you like puzzles? fuckin LOVE a puzzle

Favourite childhood sport? archery! it's not even close! I miss shooting so badly and have every day since I stopped around fifteen/sixteen.

Do you talk to yourself? constantly, and it gets me in trouble.

Tea or coffee? tea.

First thing you wanted to be when growing up? either a shark scientist or a coroner (i am serious, i literally wanted to be a medical examiner when I was little)

What movies do you adore? The Spirit of the Beehive (1973) by Victor Erice. It's a movie about a family in Franco's Spain in the 40s, and it is the most beautifully shot movie I have seen in my entire life. There is a very specific sequence somewhere around halfway into the film with a character playing piano (I think) that absolutely left me breathless the first time I saw it because of how it's framed and how the lighting looks. I think about this film so fucking often. please please watch it if you ever get the chance. Honorable mention to Kurosawa's Ikiru (1952), a movie i watched for the same class I watched Beehive for, and literally cried for almost the entire movie because it really hit close to home in a lot of ways. uh. both of these movies are kind of bananas heavy (so if u watch them, which u should, please do so in a good mental state and mind trigger warnings for death and family dysfunction in both, overt fascism in the first one, and chronic/terminal illness in the second, and probably look up trigger warnings for either ahead of time) so for a fun one, Bringing Up Baby (1938). this movie involves: cary grant as a sexy and beleaguered paleontologist, a missing dinosaur bone, katherine hepburn being so fucking hot and such a fucking problem for everyone in the world and especially cary grant, and of all fucking things, a fucking leopard. it is legitimately one of the funniest fucking movies I have ever watched in my life and i actually fully believe it is a movie every last person should watch at least once before they die. I recommend going in blind as possible and perhaps watching with your best friend who also knows nothing about the film.

tagging @two-tyred-problems @nautical-nasa @stockcarbaby24 and @theladysherlock