#dying in my own arms
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from the hivemind ig story
#they’re so valid for this#dying in my own arms#looking very cute today#hivemind#hivemindtv#hivemind tv#hivemind riley#hivemindgraydon#dignan#digrider
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I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuuji#megumi#deleted scene gege told me#god im not over 266 i will never ever ever be over 266#im so incredibly unwell abt them i cant believe this is the timeline we live in#itafushi friday....itafushi everyday.....#decided 2 forgo my usual miku and broke out the emo playlist fr this one . breaking my own heart :3#how many itfs embraces do i need to draw until i successfully manifest it in canon#gege i beg i plead pls let them H U G#they r so traumatized they r so touch starved pls hug pls contact pls Holds/Is Hold#anyway if megumi's height is inconsistent no it isn't <3 if he looks like 2 completely different ages no he doesnt <33#......kids r Hard guys gomen i tried my best#honestly it's probably not even that bad i think its the arm angle in the first one thts throwing me#i had to play around w it so much that i think im just tired of looking at it#megumi voice whatever !!!!!#thats not important the important thing is Itafushi Hug#and i do believe i met my quota in that regard#also yes my pen pressure Is still dying thank u fr asking but i did this fr them Anyway pls clap
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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i could explain why anyone that says "flowey cant feel (positive emotions) because he doesnt have a soul" is wrong but i dont feel like it. all you need to know that as a fellow trauma survivor he is my puppet to project onto whether he likes it or not
read the tags for more i suppose
#flowey is a metaphor#my headcanon is valid and cool and you will like it and accept it#let me isolate both socially and physically for my own safety that wont make it worse haha#said the silly whimsical goat boy after being assaulted and killed by an entire village after agreeing to his sibling sacrifing themselves#and dying in his arms#ptsd/cptsd often comes with a hollow feeling and a fuckton of attachment issues#love alone cannot fix something like that#flowey had no way to cope with it and created a hell of his own making instead#i relate to the emptiness that you drown out with anything you can#the timeloop did not help#i often see the timeloop he trapped himself in as an unhealthy coping mechanism and/or drug almost#frisk is the one who saves him from himself#he can finally learn to move on and just... live#yeah im crazy#flowey#undertale#shitpost#headcanon
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#batman#dc comics#arkham asylum#dc#bruce wayne#fuck batman#captain cold#leonard snart#flash rogues#bro got jumped#people forget how smart len is. this guy made a gun that can freeze atoms#cold is going to break him arm back#digger is just at him with the other rogues tending to him like a dying street cat#I hate Batman so much omg#interagation my ass#bro just break people bones for the fuck of it#this is not Gotham#stay in your own city fr
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You: writes a story where the ship doomed by the narrative is no longer doomed
Me, an Intellectual: writes a story where the ship is more doomed.
#obikin#merthur#mergana#morgwen#tom riddle sr x merope#thorki#codywan#obianidala#am i saying that i fully believe that no matter what Obi-Wan ends up dying either by anakin or in anakins arms#yes yes i am#doomed by the narrative#you aint seen nothing yet#i even do this for my own ocs#honestly#what is wrong with me
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If you want to be a dog, first you must learn to wait. You must wait all day until somebody returns, and if somebody returns late, you must learn to wait until then.
Then you must learn to speak in one of the voices available to you, high and light or mellow thick and low or middle-range and terse. Whichever voice you learn to speak, you will meet somebody who does not like you because of it, they will be wary or annoyed or you will remind them of something or someone else.
Once you have learned to speak you must learn not to speak unless you absolutely must, or to speak as much as you feel you must regardless of how many times you are told to stop, or sit, or placed behind a door—this will depend on what kind of a dog you want to be.
And indeed there are many kinds. It may not feel as though you get to choose, and that too is a kind of dog. Next you must learn to relinquish all control over everything you might wish to control.
Wikipedia Entry for Livestock Guardian Dogs / Seven Seas translation of MDZS / "How to Be a Dog" by Andrew Kane
#pallas.rtf#mdzs#jiang cheng#canon jiang cheng#gnawing on my own arms#please someone be crazy with me#i'm dying
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my take on the suffering Game graphic novel is that they did the Suffering Game dirty but they did that Lunar Interlude REAL good
#the adventure zone#taz gn#I stand by what I said before it came out#they should’ve ended at “I’ll be taking my body back now you undead fuck” and made lunar interlude it’s own book#WONDERLAND YOU DESERVED MORE TIMEEEEEEEE#that said magnus was GREAT in this just all in on the “looking for a cause worth dying for”#But missing out on the governor kalen sacrifice is a god damn travesty#A TRAVIS-TY#AND ARTEMIS WHAT HIS NITS JUST DIDNT EVEN EXIST#AND ARMS OUTSTRETCHED WAS JUST NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE MARK#THEY FUCKED UP ARMS OUTSTRETCHED DUDE LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY#but AGAIN the moonbase stuff was great!#They did griffin great! they did Barry great! They did the Jon reveal FUCKING AMAZINGLY#The Davenport handoff was so cleverly executed#AND TAAKO? TAAKO??? TAAKO!?!?!?????#TAAKO “YOU STOLE HALF OF MY FUCKING HEART” FROM TV????!!!#FUCKING AUDIBLE GASPS OVER AND OVER FROM THOSE LAST PAGES#I’m disappointed by the suffering game but the moon base was INCREDIBLE#TAAKO LOSING HIS BEAUTY HOW COULD I FORGET ANT TAAKO LOSING HIS BEAUTY#THEY JUST CUT IT!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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remember when the doctor and missy literally had this exchange?
doctor: two hearts.
missy: and both of them yours.
like... it really happened. i keep re-reading it. i made it my blog name. i think about it all the time. and i still can't believe it happened. we really got this. this is insane
#thoschei#doctor who#no but you don't GET IT#missy aka the master said her hearts belonged to the doctor#i mean DUH WE KNOW#but SHE SAID IT. OUTLOUD.#did i dream of this? like.#she wasn't even acting (because she was hiding her identity at the time) i just know it#we all know it#the point of this post is: holy shit the master literally admitted her love for the doctor#whoever says missy didnt mean it is getting their ass beaten#i didnt even get to the part in the cemetery where the doctor kisses missy#and she looks at him with the most desperatly loving eyes i've ever seen in my life#like my girl was dying of love what the fuck how long HOW LONG had it been since they last kissed#had they EVER kissed??#and we don't even talk about the fact that missy reached for the doctor's lips with her own and GRABBED HIS ARMS#IT'S THERE IT'S IN THE EPISODE#FUCKING HELL#no the actual point of this post is that i'm having a mental breakdown over thoschei#almost 10 years since those episodes and i'm still not over it#i won't ever get over thoschei like#i cant keep typing i just wanna scream
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Sendak's voice taunting Shiro about the two of them being "connected" when contextualized with the heavy implication that Sendak sexually violated Shiro, makes me want to retch.
#Takashi Shirogane#Shiro#Sendak#Voltron: Legendary Defender#Meta.#VLD Meta.#I hate SenDICK and I hate this show so much.#I was rereading my own massive work in-progress 'fix-it' fic and remembered this and felt immediately sick to my stomach.#'We're connected you and me.'#'You've been broken and reformed.'#'I see you've spent some time with the Druids.'#'Your *friend* wanted to hear from you.'#Everything about the leering sneering condescending way he speaks to Shiro makes me gag.#The level of familiarity and sense of ownership is revolting.#And when he tells Shiro that 'every ounce' of his being will be 'directed toward the destruction of YOU and your PATHETIC planet' like he's#Shiro's megalomaniacal abusive ex...#Shudder.#Puke.#'If the rest of your kind have your *spirit*'.#Shiro legitimately should have got to cave Sendak's skull in with that hideous oversized arm that was clearly modeled after the bastard's.#I don't care how 'inappropriately' violent it would have been.#This is the series that has multiple characters being tortured both on and offscreen and depicts trauma survivors dying with the tacit#message that the passively suicidal should be allowed to just go ahead martyr themselves for the greater good.#They could have used a Gore Discretion Shot#the same way they did with the rapey P.O.S.'s canonical death.
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every time theo ends up saving liam’s life it’s by pulling him to safety from behind… something to be said about liam silently trusting theo enough to give him his back (and theo’s unspoken willingness to have it even at the expense of his own safety).
#you can have my back any day. or you know. you could have mine.#something something you can be my wingman anytime bullshit you could be mine#sorry but ‘ive got your six’/battle boyfriends/girlfriends is one of my fav dynamics#i have one ship type at the end of the day….#im not dying for you. im not dying for you either. but i will fight with you. lets fight.#guys… that was their mid fight oath to each other….#theo in memory found: wraps his arms around liam from behind to drag him into the elevator away from the riders#theo in triggers: standing behind liam. pulls him to the side by his arm to keep him away from nolan and figure out whats wrong#theo in werewolves of london: walks up behind liam in the locker room and keeps him from killing gabe/doing something else he might regret#(side note the shot of their faces beside each other in the mirror is sooooo symbolic of theo being liam’s voice of reason in a lot of 6b)#theo in wolves of war: tackles liam from behind to keep the hunters from shooting him#ALSO theo in wolves of war: positions himself between the hunters and liam as they’re both running away so he can push him ahead/shield him#taking damage he probably could have avoided had he just ducked#LIKE. yeah. theo will probably never admit it but he is so protective in his own convoluted emotionally repressed way#and liam lets him do it also in his own convoluted emotionally repressed way bc he doesn’t HAVE to give theo his back or the room to be the#one that comes to his rescue#they are partners !#:( my sons i miss them#thiam#theo raeken x liam dunbar#theo x liam#theo raeken/liam dunbar#theo/liam#teen wolf
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3:35 to 4:10 in Levitate is so unbelievably comforting to me. In the best (and worst) way possible, it truly does feel like levitation.
The best way I can describe it is laying in someone's arms, lover, friend, foe or family, and simply basking in the comfort they give you. One arm wrapped, gently, around your middle, fingers tracing invisible patterns on your clothes, and the other hand softly combing through your hair as they whisper soft nothings in your ear. You're on the brink of sleep; half listening to their words and half being drawn in by the comfort of the drowsy void.
It's a warm hug that you never want to leave. (catch me replaying that part over and over)
#and then the breakdown#(since you all seem to like it so much when I get depressive with these I'll pull out my thoughts)#my mind always conjurs two things with the breakdown; death and mourning#when you think of levitation you either think of magic or death; the soul rising up to Heaven#the choir that joins Vessel singing are angels as he tries to comfort the person dying in his arms.#the breakdown is when he finally realises that's it; they're gone#he brought down Heaven like an ancient bygone for them knowing their own wings wouldn't find it#but by God he'll scream and cry and year himself inside out over it even if he told himself that he would accept it#('death' can either be interpreted as actual death or the act of leaving someone for good ->#those last few seconds of calm is having one last moment with them before they rise to where he can't reach them)#if you can't tell I'm in my sad yearning hours because I didn't sleep last night and I'm stressed about trying to get tickets but we ball 💪#sleep token#st#sleep token analysis#levitate (song)#levitate#sundowning#mel's rambles
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bug in my room just bit (??) me incident. zero survivors.
#IT WAS DARK AND I FELT SOMETHING ON MY ARM AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A HAIR SO I GRABBED IT TO GET IT OFF#TURNS OUT IT WAS A BUG AND IT EITHER BIT OR STUNG ME#NOW ITS DYING UNDER A CUP ON MY FLOOR BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP#AND LIKE. THERE ARE MARKS. IT BROKE THE SKIN#NOT ENOUGH TO NECESSITATE A BAND AID BUT STILL#RUDE#THIS IS MY ROOM GET YOUR OWN#I CAN'T EVEN TELL WHAT TYPE OF BUG IT WAS#already had a nightmare with spiders last night and woke up with my skin crawling how am i supposed to SLEEP#hello grace here
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The second I see him in game...
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had just like a wildly bad brain day from morning to night but what's most important is, tomorrow I have leftover Coffee Treat. mercy was literally right the world could be ending my life could be falling apart but I WILL have that delicious coffee like that's my priority everything else is secondary
#like i was having trouble doing basic tasks like texting family back and making myself eat#do have a draft due tomorrow i have not done. idk probably just going to make a pretty template & fill like 3 bullshit sentences under#each heading. didn't say it had to be a *good* draft#the person who peer reviews my document tomorrow: where's the document#it's in my head dw about it :) it looks great i promise :))#had a whole spiral about a) how everything is boring b) world events c) how i'll never get a bearable job#d) what it would feel like to move back in with family e) world events again#f) dying alone g) having to live with other people h) never having a cat i) never finishing another fic#i should make a poll#where are you on my scale of worries from plague war and housing crisis to what if i never get to cradle my very own cat in my arms gently
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