#dw he becomes an expert

[peachdues]

Enjoy a peek at Giyuu learning how not to act like a virgin when with the person he loves in TGW Part II

“Well, if you want her first time to be special –”

“It’s not her first time.” Giyuu said bluntly before feeling his ears heat slightly as Tengen raised his eyebrows in surprise. “We – before the final battle –”

“Tengen’s mouth curved into a wicked smile. “Ah, so you just couldn’t wait, huh?”

“Well, obviously it’s hard for women to reach completion their first time, even when you properly prepare them –”

“Prepare?” Giyuu interjected, looking quizically at the Sound Pillar.

“Well, y’know, the stuff ya do before you actually put it in.” Tengen clarified, but he paled at the vacant look in the former Water Pillar’s eyes.

“Y-youd did prepare her, didn’t you?” Tengen demanded, sitting up straighter as his eyes narrowed.

Giyuu only stared back at him with that same, blank look, though Tengen could see the blush creep down his ears and to his neck.

The former Sound Pillar pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, eye screwed tightly shut. “Are you telling me,” he grit out. “That you just shoved it in without even stretching her out a bit first? Or at least making sure she was properly lubricated down there?”

Giyuu felt slightly affronted at his friend’s tone. “What do you mean by ‘prepare?’”

Tengen groaned. “Giyuu. Did you use your fingers or your tongue before you put your cock in her?”

He was silent as he thought for a moment. “Was I supposed to?”

Tengen stared in disbelief at the stoic ravenette, before dragging a hand over his face. “Y’know, you shouldn’t be intimate with someone until you know what you’re doing.” He grumbled. “Even Shinazugawa came to me for help before he got with his girl.”

Giyuu cocked his head in confusion. “It’s not like we planned it in advance – it just happened.”

The Sound Pillar’s eye widened in horror. “Giyuu,” he hissed, bracing his hand on his hip. “I’ve seen you change before – you’re not small.” He groaned, loudly at the confusion on his comrade’s face. “Unbelievable – that poor girl.”

“It’s not as though I was rough –” The Water Pillar countered, his tone indignant, but Tengen held up a hand to silence him.

“It doesn’t matter how many times my wives and I get together – I always make sure to prepare them beforehand. Thoroughly.”

Tomioka remained quiet, so Tengen asked, “Do you want to be intimate with her again?”

Giyuu nodded as enthusiastically as someone like Giyuu could, and Tengen sighed. He lowered himself to sit on the large boulder and crossed his legs. “You might as well get comfortable, Tomioka, because you’ve got a lot to learn about female pleasure – and that’s assuming Y/N even lets you back into her bed.”

[imfelinefinee]

How to play pranks on your Annoying Fish Monster Roommate (5+1)

Pairing: Seb.as.tian Sol.ace x Reader (Platonic / Romantic)

NSFW DNI

Notes: I've always wanted to try the 5+1 format- If you aren't familiar with it its when something happens 5 times within a fic and 1 thing to contrast the many things previously established. It really fun!

Also fishmanfishmanfishmanfishmanfishmanfishmanfishmanfishmanfishman

No idea if this is turning into its own AU now- I'm probably gonna make a masterpost for this bugger-

Summary: 5 times the expendable annoyed Sebastian and the one time he got them back

Warnings: Soft/Safe vore, Hurt/Comfort. A little hint at flirting in one of the parts (Its a joke dw), A very angry and annoyed fish man, mild swearing, brief mention to trauma etc

Inspired by @/Curledwithin 's Headcanons- I'm scared to tag them-

Words: 7.9K +

Scribbling down the lines without much thought, the sketch of a humanoid figure on the page. They’d yet to decide on who’d become another one of the many masterpieces they’d made thus far. Perhaps it would be another addition to the ever-growing collection of Sebastian doodles they hid within their desk out of view so that he wouldn’t find out about their hobby.

They’d try drawing off memory as a reference for old cartoon shows. Which proved to be rather mundane or simply not up to par as the human mind wasn’t always reliable. It always looked off to them, unsure of themselves as something wasn’t quite right yet they couldn’t determine what it was.

With communications cut off, including access to the luxury that was the internet. They were left with nothing besides the dull marine biology books plastered around or the monotonous documents that served their purposes. It was nice to pass the time in the beginning but now, it never wielded such results.

As the self-proclaimed expert in marine biology after reading every single book in their arsenal, though those weren’t the only subjects they were versed in after reading book after book. Some with facts of science others were business and finance. If they got out of Blacksite, they’d know how to start a business. 

They couldn’t determine if that was either a good thing or a bad thing.

Drawing had become a recent pass time for them, an indulgence. But after so much time, they procrastinated more and more until simply trying to finish their current sketch was infuriating as it wasn’t right!

Their attempt at curing their ailment of boredom proved subpar, nothing. Their mind went blank as they could hardly think, a blockage within their head as any attempt at properly thinking only got them in a pit of frustration. Repeatedly they tried to draw a line, only to falter further. Hesitation in their next step as their fingers shook with the graphite pencil in their grip.

“Fucking-... DAMN IT!”, the pencil sent flying against the wall. Colliding with the metallic surface of a wall as it banged against it, only to helplessly fall to the floor. The paper sketch gripped within their hand crunched and scrambled in pain as it was carelessly folded into a ball, and thrown onto the floor in a litter.

It didn’t even look like him.

Whenever the documents Sebastian collected proved to be utter nonsense, he’d hand over the paper for them to use if they wished. For them, a gift. To him, something to get rid of clutter that he didn’t need. Mutual exchange as he’d say. And it was an act of kindness they rarely saw from him in contrast to his attitude most of the time. 

They had even found a dusty old notebook that was empty, filled with horizontal lines of writing paper. It had become personal to them, acting like a sketchbook, journal and memories of their time within Blacksite. Something to look back on whenever they felt down or wanted to remember positive things during a rough patch. It kept them sane down there. 

With a look of solemnness, they turned to a random page. Only to land on a specific one they were fond of. It was a harmless prank they played on Sebastian, using a camera’s flash they’d found and using it to blind him. It wasn’t as bad as a flash beacon, yet still pretty bright. It startled him enough that they managed to get a picture of his reaction. 

A chuckle escaped them as they remembered the ramifications of their actions, caught mere seconds later of taking the photo and forced down into their “Time-out spot”. As Sebastian called it.

Only to get struck with a shock of inspiration…

<...>

Turns out their knowledge of marine biology proved to be rather useful for plotting their silly shenanigans. They could hardly hold their composure as they wanted to bawl over in laughter at their heinous idea.

It wasn’t just horrible, it was genius.

Gripping the bottle in their hand, containing acetic acid within. A strong scent of citrus and acid stung the top of the lid in a putrid aroma, a smell reminiscent of the outer seas or maybe even the welcoming smell of a British chip chop.

A common condiment often acquainted with fries or chips to flaunt the taste of a salty combination. A salty sour taste, some enduring the taste out of distaste with nothing left to eat after hitting a pub or just enjoying the delectable cuisine. 

It also proved essential in their survival, especially for cleaning off blood in their blood without access to laundry. With due diligence even tending to Sebastian’s clothing whenever he was too bothered not to wash his clothes. Complaining about the smell of it afterwards as he hated the smell.

To be more specific, it was fucking vinegar.

They’d learnt through much pestering that Sebastian was composed of differing sealife DNAs, including one of which was a sea snake. Snakes absolutely loathed the stench of vinegar as it messed with their sense of smell, perhaps even their organs at times. 

Which made it all the more perfect.

Opening the cap, they began to generously dose the vinegar in areas tended to sleep or interact with, especially in the corner where he maintained his shop. Not only that but, just to spite him. They poured some of it on his belongings, careful not to ruin his electronics as they only dripped a small drop on the items.

They snickered in mischief, feeling like an arsonist as it was dunked around the room like gasoline, yet to light the flames of Sebastian’s fury, the matchstick being the trigger as he entered the room.

Standing proudly in front of the results with their hands on their hips, the prank was in full completion. They inhaled the smell, holding back a grimace as it attacked their nostrils. It was a strong stench, even for them as they could pick up on it in the corner of the room they kept safe from the vinegar. 

It was definitely going to work.

They waited for his return, passing the time with another book of humdrum. Flipping the paper pages in disinterest, they practically scanned the book for pictures rather than for the text within. A book they’d read a couple of times at that point

Sat down upon their throne of victory, a crate that acted as their sofa whenever they dwelled in the room of Sebastian’s company. A hard surface against their back as they struggled with a sore pain from sitting down on hard surfaces for so long. More than accustomed to it at that point. 

As if on cue, they heard the clanging of metal as a heavyweight crawled through, complaining as it struggled with the pressure and movement it was made to endure. The man of the hour pushed his head from the vent, pulling himself up into a standing posture. A bag holstered over his shoulder.

They watched as his eyes widened in a look of shock, the smell flooding his senses as his ears flared up in confusion as he wearily scanned the room for whatever it was that attacked his sensations.

A large forked tongue poked out from the gaps of his teeth, quizzically tasting the air as he tried to figure out what the stench was. Only to recoil in disguise as it worsened, the odour so bad to him that he physically revolted.

He knelt over, holding the lower half of his face as he tried to block out the stench. One of his hands gripped the wall for balance as he was hit with a wave of nausea. Holding back an urge as he heaved, on the verge of vomiting as his body could hardly manage to combat the odour. 

A low hissing sound escaped his will, constant as his instinct flared in reaction to the fragrance of vinegar. A look of disgust on his face, sneering as he clenched his teeth shut to shelter his tongue that had been assaulted.

They hid their reaction with a book, biting back laughter as they barely held themselves together. The smile threatened to throw over their facade, their eyes met with the book in their hands. Welcoming the delight of the situation as they feigned interest in the media in front of them.

A voice called out to them, speaking their name with spitting venom as he looked at them with a look of bitterness. Muffled despite its loud volume, thanks to the hands blocking his means of speech.

They hummed thoughtfully, slowly turning their gaze to him in a look of faux perplexion. Innocent in their demeanour they gently put the book aside on the crate, looking over at Sebastian in a facade of worry and concern.

“You okay there?”, they asked with a small voice. Pretending, they looked over him in confusion, trying to figure out why he reacted in such a way.  Walking over as they reached out a hand to his shoulder, trying to reassure Sebastian that they were there for him.

He removed the hands covering his mouth as he opened it to talk, only to be audibly wrenching in displeasure. Wincing as he bit it down, looking up at them in a scowling pout. Heaving in his breathing as it hindered him, overwhelming him.

“Why does everything smell like-... FUCKING VINEGAR?”, he shrieked as he rose his voice. Angry as to why everything smells like something he absolutely loathed, hatred in his gaze as flicked his tail in an irritated manner.

“Oh!- I’m sorry!- I forgot… I just wanted to clean up some of the blood in my bedding- I didn’t realise it was that bad! Shit- I forgot how sensitive your nose was… I’ll try and find something to stop the smell…”.

They quickly retreated in a panicked stupor, little did he know that their little “mistake” wasn’t as innocent as it displayed, many things hidden behind the surface. As he would soon find out their intentions in due time.

<...>

Their little prank had been an outstanding success! Ever since the vinegar incident, the stench remained for the following days. Sebastian could barely cope as he bit into a chocolate bar or simply yawned. He glared at them for the rest of the day but didn’t once retaliate since the accident.

They had to grab a softer-scented bottle of Febreeze for Sebastian to spray around the room. Intoxicating the room with a rich fragrance to contrast the smell of putrid acid in his room. And eventually, it only came as the occasional whiff from an item he missed. It hurt their lungs but it was worth it!

They had confessed their crime to PAInter later that day, only to get a lecture that they shouldn’t have done that otherwise it would’ve pissed off Sebastian. But, he did also get a good laugh out of it like they did.

Their next plot struck them in a cord of intellect when they stumbled upon a ridiculously large speaker in a supply closet. It looked a little banged up, coated in a layer of dust as it had been left abandoned within the cramped space for a long time.

That’s when they had their next idea…

Sebastian had many things in his arsenal, including a gun. Often wielding it for emergencies in order to save the bullets, but it wasn’t just that. He had impeccable hearing thanks to his heightened senses, which was a virtue on many fronts as it allowed him to smell, hear or see things from a large distance.

But, that also made them incredibly sensitive. Another reason he hardly used his gun was that they really hurt his hearing when shot, deafening him in his vulnerability for a while as he recovered.

They weren’t going to shoot his gun though, that wouldn’t be the wisest choice. So, what better than a speaker? It wasn’t as loud as a bullet but it was boisterous enough for the use in their plans. 

Fortunately, PAInter had managed to access a file of various audios that they’d gone through together earlier that day. Many of them were old logs from workers within Blacksite, yet they weren’t particularly interesting or useful.

Except one.

The two of them had managed to find gold, a needle within a haystack. Perfection. An utter masterpiece for the ears to hear. A catchy tune that everyone could dance to, PAInter even loved it, putting it onto a playlist for them both to enjoy.

Nothing else could compare to the emotion, the words, the beauty behind such a work. It was the little theme that played in the Blacksite elevators when in use, just to distract the occupants from the monsters outside the door as it forced them to dance along and forget their worries. 

And now, it was about to take another victim into its arms.

Sebastian, the dearest fish man. Slept on the floor in his coiled curled form, his head atop his tail as he relaxed in a deep sleep. Usually, it was routine for them to use him as their personal warm bed as they’d cuddle up next to his tail or sometimes even within him if it was a particularly cold night. 

He let out soft snores in his sleep, drool escaping his jaws as it flooded with saliva. His hair tangled from his ruffling, a sheet of cloth draped over his shoulders in a makeshift blanket as Urbanshade never owned proper bedding for their subjects.

He was calm and vulnerable. The one time he let down his guard around them, he openly displayed his affection in spite. Joking with one another as they talked about whatever came to their mind. Keeping them safe within his coils, protecting them as they too were left out in the open. Despite all his sulk and facades, he was a good soul.

And now, they were going to torture it.

They had refused to sleep much to his annoyance, delaying it until he eventually gave up and fell asleep to their advantage. In addition to looting and carrying the heavy speaker on their back throughout the halls of Blacksite, it lay at their feet at the ready. 

Plugging in the audio jack from the speaker into their laptop, holding back a snicker as they opened the inbuilt media player, Hovering the cursor over the play button, turning back to Sebastian in for certainty that he was indeed asleep. 

Pressing the button, they waited as it loaded up for a moment as it required the components of the computer to load rather than the use of the internet. Only to pause as they didn’t hear the song, despite it playing on their laptop.

Turning towards the speaker in confusion, wondering if it was broken due to the state they found it in. Looking over the panel, they realised they hadn’t even turned the speaker on in the first place. Flicking the switch towards on, it blasted in volume.

They flinched from the sudden increase in volume, the loudness hurting their ears as they were far too close to the speaker for comfort. Holding their ears with their hands as they adjusted to the amplification of sound.

The sleeping beauty, the prince dreaming of sleep. The victim had awoken to their shenanigans from the rowdy noise, his half-lidded groggy eyes stared down at them in a somewhat state of alertness and anger.

His breathing was heavy as if he’d been startled, holding a hand to his holstered belt. He had nearly instinctively grabbed his gun as he realised it had simply been only the two of them in the room. 

His fanged teeth held together in a toothy frown, evidence of his dislike of the circumstances as he glared at both the speaker and them. His tail flicked in anger, evident in his irritated state. Audibly growling, muffled due to the speaker but if they picked up on it. The growling was hostile as he prepared to strike. 

He rose from his cocoon, looking down on them in a gaping shadow as he loomed over them. The soft glow of his eyes combined with the light of his angler barely shone the burrow between his browline, raising an arm in preparation to strike down on… them?

They braced, bringing their arms towards their face as they leaned away. A pitiful attempt at a dodge as they prepared to be hit by the impact of his fist. Instead of them though, there was another victim.

The speaker met his blow, smashing it like a compressor as it was squished in a metallic crunch into a shell of its former self. Sparks sent flying from the device as it was torn apart in a mere punch from Sebastian. A declaration of strength, a means of intimidation. 

He flicked his hand as if wiping away the dirt on his hands or an attempt to wipe away the pain as he crunched metal with his fist. They weren’t sure as he continued to growl despite the destruction of the device.

He turned to them with a look of disappointment and rage, grabbing the scruff of their collar as he brought them towards his face in warning. They were left in shock and awe of the circumstances, fearful yet amazed at his strength.

“Don’t. Do that. Again.”, those four words were enough for them to understand the assignment given to them. To which they responded with a series of quick nods, not wanting the confrontation in front of them as they leaned away. Trying to escape from it all.

He grumbled as they did so, exhausted and annoyed, they’d certainly managed to piss him off well enough. But he took a moment to breathe, seemingly calming down just a bit as the hand that held them let go. His face turned to plain tiresome exhaustion.

“Why did you do that?”, irritated in his tone as he eyed them down in suspicion under his lidded eyes, barely able to keep them open. 

“Accident…”, they answered with a hint of regret and hesitancy. suddenly found themselves regretting the idea of their prank. A look of guilt on their face as they looked away, unable to look him in the eyes. Clutching a hand within another, squishing the limb to ease the stress that suddenly enveloped them.

He only sighed, turning towards the screen of the laptop as he folded the screen gently. Casting the room in darkness, with the only light of his angler remaining. The only view was his face as it still frowned, yet they were met with a look of softness in his eyes.

With one of his hands, he tugged at their tangle of hands until his hand enveloped one of them in full. Giving it a tender squeeze of reassurance, gentle in consideration as he held onto them. His main pair of arms enveloped their waist as he picked them off the ground. 

Coiling up into his original position, grabbing their folded bedding that lay onto a crate. Smothering them in a blanket as he threw it on top of them, ruffling their hair as he let go of the hold. Only to shove a pillow in their face, demanding that they were to fall asleep there. They surrendered, tucking themselves in and making themselves comfortable. 

Maybe they should lower the volume of their pranks, literally.

<...>

The next morning, they awoke to a sense of loneliness and unwavering warmth. Opening their eyes felt heavy as if something weighed them down, inhaling from their nose proved to be stuffy with blockage. 

They could hardly determine what they were feeling, whether they were hungry or sick with vomit. Their throat quenched with thirst, drier than a dessert. It felt as though it was made of sandpaper, not only that but the headache they had threatened to crack and break their skull from how bad it was pounding.

Their cheeks flushed with unbearable heat, yet their body shivered with cold. Their joints ached with pain as they attempted to move, wincing upon opening their eyes to the blinding light that attacked their eyes.

They heard a voice call out to them, repeatedly hurriedly speaking their name in murmurs. With the weight of their body dragging behind them, they managed to sit up and turn towards whoever was calling their name. 

“Oh, thank god! You’re awake!-”, someone's voice spoke up from the buzzing of their ears, barely audible as they sighed in relief. Tilting their head in confusion, they approached the source in a flimsy crawl.  The voice got louder as they were finally able to hear, their mind realising it was PAInter within their daze.

“Hellooo…. I’m awake… Where’s Sebby?...”, their speech was drawn out in a slurring manner. Their voice hoarse in almost a whisper as they barely managed a murmur, croaky as they hardly got the question out.

“Uh- You, okay there?- You don’t look too good- Also, Sebastian went out to get some stuff to fix you up.”, they sounded worried in their tone of voice. They let out a long yawn as they sipped their eyes in an attempt to clear up the weight and dust in them. The only thought on their mind was to take a painkiller or two.

They propped their body up against the crate where their laptop sat, crossing their arms as a makeshift cushion to balance their head. Whilst also sheltering their eyes from the light that came with it, blinding them. They felt like shit as if they were dying.

“Blub…Blub blub blub- blub…”, they deemed that a decent enough reply. Not holding the energy to keep up with the conversation PAInter was trying to have with them. Their delirious state barely kept up with his talk, only thinking of fish at that moment. For whatever reason it was, they had no idea either. But, they really wanted to fish. Just fish.

“Blub… Blub blub??”, PAInter responded in the same speech as them, as if attempting to converse in a language of nonsense. Evidently, they were confused as to why they’d respond with fish sound effects.

“Blub… blu blub blub blub-”, they were soon having an in-depth conversation about numerous serious topics troubling them in their now sudden language of the speech of fishes, repeatedly going with the same word or sound. ‘Blub’.

It was just a constant thing, neither of them stopping as they continued in their conversation. It was a truly insightful, resolution-breaking speech between two sentient beings. Wiping their forehead, they were drenched in sweat, yearning for sleep but not wanting to pull away from the interesting talk with PAInter.

Only for it to be cut off from the palm that gently pressed into their forehead, the touch was cold; Pleasant in contrast to the pounding headache that made their head swell with ache, it soothed their pain ever so slightly.

They leaned into the touch, perhaps a little too much as a hand gripped their shoulder and they were nearly sent flying forward. Nuzzling into the hand as it smothered them in a tender touch, allowing them to relax into the hand.

“Sheesh- You’re hot…”, the voice of Sebastian commented, his hand withdrawing from their forehead from the rising temperature of their forehead. They’d gotten sick in the night, developing a fever in the process. Reacting far too late to prevent it to the stage it's gotten to, only able to treat it as it was and hope that it’d get better.

Admittedly, he was worried about them.

He wasn’t an expert in telling temperature but they were boiling, probably far too hot than the recommended amount. Yet, he couldn’t risk taking the blanket away from their shoulders in case it caused them more shivering. It was the only comfortable thing he could use as well.

“Thank you-....”, they replied in a slurred manner. Responding to his prior statement he quickly realised all too quickly that they interpreted it as a compliment. His face flushed in embarrassment suddenly, hoping they wouldn’t take notice of it in their state. They’d probably make fun of him for such a thing.

“T-That isn’t what I meant!- Moron-...”, he stumbled on his words slightly but managed to keep himself together. Turning his attention towards a pouch on his tail, picking up a packet of Paracetamol into his hand. Finding them in an old infirmary in his search for supplies to treat them with. 

He wasn’t going to risk them taking the pills themselves, they could hardly hold themselves up. Let alone take the pills on their own. With the one hand keeping them stable, holding the pills between his fingertips as the other held a bottle of water.

“Open your mouth.”, he commanded with haste, watching as it took them a moment to process his request and comply. He shook his head at their condition, wondering how they kept up with themselves in such a state. Gently placing the pills on their tongue, tilting their head up as he gently handed them the bottle of water.

They understood quite quickly, taking the bottle from his hand as they greedily gulped down the water alongside the pillows. Letting out a sigh of relief as they did so, only to go for another drink to clench their thirst.

Once they’d finished, they yawned in exhaustion. Leaning their weight towards Sebastian as he caught them, he realised that they were going to need the rest in order to recover. He moved them into a more comfortable lying position, propping their head onto his lap to act as a substitute for their abandoned pillow.

“What were you guys doing?”, he found himself asking the question to PAInter. As soon as he’d gotten back, the two of them were just making fish noises towards one another. It was a sight to behold.

“Here I thought you were fluent in the art of the dialect of fish! And here you are, a fish man! Wow-”, PAInter dramatised their speech in an odd attempt at a British accent. Drawing a pose on the monitor with arms raised to his digital face. Wait- was that an avatar?

Not quite in the mood for jokes, he rolled his eyes as he growled in a low volume. PAInter seemed to get the message as they quickly erased the painting they’d worked on. Only giggling in response as Sebastian worked through the tangled mess of hair atop the expendable head.

Thus concluding the third prank, if that counted to their toll.

<...>

About a day or two later, their fever had fortunately broken in thanks to Sebastian’s constant nagging. As they made progress towards recovery, they found themselves in a tiny mood for mischief, at minimum a small prank.

And they weren’t looking forward to another prank that involved something that might scare him again. Seeing Sebastian that angry wasn’t a friendly sight, it was frightening to even think about. Luckily, he accepted their apology afterwards.

“It’s fine- Just don’t do any of that bullshit again.”, he responded to them after they profusely apologised, a small smile on his face as he leaned forward as he ruffled their tangled hair, causing a worse mess for them to work through. They took it as a promise, nodding in agreement. Only to usher them to feel soon after.

And they weren’t a person who broke their promises. Most of the time.

They were forced into bedrest, under the watchful eye of PAInter as Sebastian went to do something productive. They didn’t remember what he said about what he was going to do but it was probably something involving their sickness. They groaned audibly as they weren’t even allowed to get up from the floor and stretch out in case they collapsed.

PAInter refused to even let them budge an inch, yet their joints were stiff with soreness. Even as they stretched, it wasn’t enough to get their muscles moving. They really needed the movement, at least for a small walk or something.

They were left behind with only their thoughts for company.

So, they decided the best course of action was to roll across the floor. Barrel rolling like a crocodile with a pillow in their grasp. PAInter quickly became alerted to their movement, looking down at them with a scribbled frown.

“HEY!- You’re not supposed to be moving!”, he chastised them in the form of a lecture. They rolled their eyes, ceasing their movements as they let out the loudest, grumpiest, annoying groan they could muster in a long drawn-out breath until their lungs eventually gave up.

They decide to ignore PAInter’s commands, standing off the floor as they stretch, joints cracking under the new pressure, withering away the soreness as a yawn escapes them, suddenly feeling more awake and energetic.

Not feeling in full condition but enough to do some things, whatever those things were. Looking around the place, Sebastian was quite the mess at times, leaving files littered on the ground. He often left his comb, rubbish, bedding and whatever was left over on his plate because he couldn’t be bothered to clean it up.

Don’t get them started on whenever he sheds, that was a catastrophe to clean up. 

So, being caring and productive as they were. They began cleaning the mess left behind, much to the complaints of PAInter who tried earnestly to get their attention. Only for them to poke their tongue out childishly in response to his nagging.

Folding the sheets he used as makeshift blankets, topped on top of a crate in a neat pile. Their dirty laundry including their sickly bedding was tossed aside for them to tackle later. Piling up rubbish into a random crate with nothing in it, to dispose of in one of the random bins throughout the facility.

They even dedicated the time to organise his little mess of documents in data in order of files to a mountain of storage drives. 

“You really shouldn’t be moving like this!- You should be resting!- You can’t possibly combat the infection in your body without sufficient energy!- If you were to use it up, you could end up even worse than before!- Oh gods- Sebastian is going to dismantle me!-”, PAInter panicked in their fumbling speech, if they were human. They’d be the embodiment of a stuttering mess.

“Relax- He isn’t going to kill you. Not if I have anything to say about it- Also I’m fine- It’s only a little bit of cleaning and besides I’m practically done”, and they were done. Besides the laundry, that was a task for their future self, not the current tense.

That’s when they got an idea, they remembered their little fever dream of speaking fish with their companion. And what better than some wordplay, especially along the lines of the fish category? It was harmless and probably funny.

Perhaps even punny.

Grabbing a bottle of water and the medication they’d found on the floor. They popped a pill from the seal and swallowed it down, giving an ample amount of water with it. Grabbing some of the laundry into their hands, they began to fold it away into a neater pile for easier transportation later.

Only to hear the man of the hour arrive back in time, he looked tired as he leaned forward with an arched back. He quickly took notice that they were up and running compared to the state they were in earlier. He stared down at them after scanning the room, deadpan as if he wasn’t very impressed by the recent cleaning they’d done.

He didn’t bother asking either of them what happened. Far too used by their little schemes up to that point. He began to unpack all of the items he’d garnered including some medical supplies, refills of water, flash beacons, batteries and the like.

“Water are you doing?”, they asked with feigned curiosity as to his recent business. Standing up, they inspected a bag left untouched by his moving hands. Reaching out a hand towards it, only for it to be snatched by his.

“Don’t. Touch. It’s tonight's dinner.”, without the ability to see or touch whatever was housed within the sack. They sniffed at the contents, only to be met with a stench of salt and oceanic algae. Not only that but it looked as though there was a wet patch at the bottom of the pouch, concluding that it was likely fish in association to the word food.

“That was a little shallow of you- Are you okay? Shorely you’re not feeling under the weather too?”, they raised a hand towards his face. Only for it to be pushed away by him, his eyes looking down at them in suspicion.

“I’m fine- Why are you up anyway? I told PAInter to make sure you rest-”, he eyed down the suspect in question. Raising an eyebrow in intrigue at the subject before the three of them, PAInter visibly sweated with animated droplets on his face.

“Uhh- I tried to get them back to sleep but they wouldn’t listen to me…”, it spoke with honesty and truth. They knew not to cross paths with Sebastian, or test the waters so to speak as they refused to lie to someone they saw as family.

“What? I was just trying to kelp out!”, they exclaimed with their hands above their head to exaggerate their words. Only to be met with the collective glares of both Sebastian and PAInter with the same frown, one thing they had in common besides the escape of Blacksite was how annoying their companion could be.

“I’m going to break every bone in your body if you don’t stop.”, he threatened in a dry tone of voice. PAInter joined in on the threat by drawing a picture of their face with Xs over the place that should’ve been their eyes.

Motherfuckers. They weren’t gonna give up that easily.

“Oh come on! You guys would be bonely without me-”, they were cut off as Sebastian tackled them with full force. Dragging them to the fall with him as he held them down, feeling them squirm and struggle under the pressure as he laid down atop them.

“I AM NOT DONE!- I HAVE A SKELE-TON OF JOKES IN MY ARSENAL! I’M VERY HUMERUS!- IT’S YOU GUYS WHO DON’T HAVE A FUNNY BONE! COME AT ME- I BET YOU GUYS DON’T EVEN HAVE THE GUTS! I’M NEVER GONNA RUN OUT EVEN IF I’M BONE-DRY”.

He held them there for about an hour or two.

<...>

They grumbled under their breath, pressing their head as their cheek squished against the solid cold surface. They had been dragged across the entirety of Blacksite into a small cafeteria that Sebastian had found, equipped with the luxury of an inbuilt electric stove and plenty of pots and pans. It even had the leisure of a spice rack!

Sebastian watched over the pot on top of the stove, watching the water boil as bubbles burst from the influx of heat at the bottom of the pot. A ladle in one hand as he tasted his culinary expertise, sprinkling a dash of salt if necessary. 

In the other laid the skin and bones of deceased fish, stripped of their outer coating and bone structure for the flesh within. Snacking on the delights of raw fish, the crunch of bone on his teeth. 

He had called the dish, Sebastian’s special stew. A dish composed of whatever tinned vegetables he found in the cabinets, carrots and peas. A can of chopped tomatoes and water for the base, and whatever fish he found whilst hunting during his swim earlier that day.

Turns out he went swimming out in the inner cavern that shrouded some of Blacksite and with his strength. He managed to chase and hunt down the stray fish that happened to be too slow for the rest of their school. A liability to their survival and more importantly Sebastian’s dish. He actually seemed really happy about it.

He actually wanted to make them a stew to help them feel better, and what better than homemade fish soup? The sound of it didn’t sound disgusting at all! Yet, they couldn’t really afford to be fussy with food down in the depths of Blacksite.

“...Could you pass the pepper from the cabinet up there?”. He called out their name nonchalantly, which had been a massive improvement from expendable or human since they’d bonded. Pointing towards the cupboard that contained the spice rack inside of it. They whined with a huff but stood up otherwise, walking towards the container.

Upon opening the small door on top of their tiptoes, they spotted something that caught their eye. A devious scheme came to mind as they grabbed the small bottle into their hand, hiding it in a pocket as they picked up the pepper shaker with it.

“Thanks-”, he was about to pour the dosage of spice into the soup. Only to pick up a pungent scent coming off the container, a drop of the contents spilling into the soup much to his dismay. He growled in a low snarl at them for what they had done, the betrayal in his eyes evident as it was revealed what was in his beloved soup.

Cinnamon. Another stench happened to mess with his senses, gently placed the spice back down onto the container as he eyed them with a look of bewilderment. Only for them to hand him the proper condiment he was looking for originally.

He gripped a strand of their hair as it tugged them towards him, careful not to rip it out of their scalp. He glared at them down with a hiss, displeased by their actions as he opened his mouth in a widened manner. They let out a pout as they leaned back, preparing to be shoved inside.

A hand gripped their shoulder, hindering their movement and chances of escape. Preparing for the inevitable time out they were about to face for roughly the next couple of hours. Waiting with bated breath as the tongue came closer to their face, taking in their taste as it dragged over their cheek. Drool dripped from the side of the cheek as it clung to the skin of their face.

He chuckled upon seeing them seize up and halter, pulling away from their personal space as he returned his attention was drawn back towards the soup. Picking up a small bottle of oregano and pouring just a little extra into the soup to combat the taste of oregano.

“You remind me of my siblings at times-... I used to cook for them whenever our parents weren’t home… They’d always try and “help” out with my cooking- Trying to pour hot chocolate into the pasta sauce I was making!…”, he reminisced with nostalgia, a look of sorrow on his face as he remembered happier times of his human life. 

He must really miss his family…

They didn’t respond, their expression soft as they stood there next to him. Listening in case he wanted to talk about it some more, yet he didn’t utter another word as he looked conflicted. A mix of hatred, regret, sadness, anger, and happiness all at once. He looked as though he wanted to cry.

Their hands wrapped around his waist, holding him close as they mustered all their strength into a strong hug. Trying to comfort him in a warm embrace despite their small stature, he turned to them with a soft smile as it appeared to have worked.

One of his hands clung to their backside, rubbing it in an up-and-down motion as he returned the hug. Maybe they were trying to reassure them in return, or maybe it was just a gesture of his gratitude. 

“I’m fine- Don’t you worry…”, his hand retracted from their back towards the top of their scalp, ruffling the locks between his fingers as he let another chuckle escape his lips. A look of softness in his eyes.

Not too long after he finished his culinary masterpiece, the two of them sat at one of the many tables in the cafeteria. Sebastian hardly managed on the cramped metal seat but managed to sit down to eat the food. The food looked really nice actually, with the spices and vegetables to disguise the smell of the fish.

After hesitating after a bite, they plunged the bite into their mouth. Preparing for the urge to spit out the fish from their mouth, only for it to taste really good. A squeal of delight escaped them from the rich taste, surprised that it worked so well together. 

Sebastian watched as they helped themselves bite for bite, only to realise that they’d quickly finished their dish. They looked around aimlessly as if they wondered where the food had gone, a smile on his face as he realised they liked his cooking.

Picking up their bowl, pouring another scoop of stew into the bowl as they handed it back to them. The two of them enjoy the moment between each other. He couldn’t help but notice how much they ate, a little concerned over the gesture but he never withdrew the food. Content that they were eating a full meal for once.

<...>

A day later, they fully recovered from the fever they’d endured. Strolling the halls of Blacksite, book in hand with the text of pages gripped tight to their chest. Returning from their secluded spot after having retreated to the room for some privacy.

 A yawn escaped them, tired from having to clean out the laundry with whatever cleaning supplies they could find. Using their hand and sponge to scrub out the stains had somehow gotten into the fabric.

It took some time, but they were spotless afterwards. After many events throughout the past week, they asked PAInter to take some pictures from the security feed for them to remember in their scrapbook. 

They’d written each little “prank” they’d done within the journal. PAInter suggested adding a couple of their comments for the book of remembrance. A memorabilia for them to look back on with nostalgia.

Making their way back towards Sebastian’s little shop, crawling through the metallic shaft that was the entrance vent. Difficulty in their crawl with one hand to push themselves forward as the other held their beloved book.

As they entered, preparing to announce their return to their companions. They were met with the complete pitch-black darkness of the room, with no sense of voice or electricity with the poor light of the room. They knew Sebastian liked the darkness but it was never that bad that they could never see anything.

Something was wrong.

Pulling out from the vent, they called out in a desperate cry to hear their companions. Worried as to where they’d gone, wanting to know their whereabouts. Only for the shadows to envelope their figure in a dark embrace.

“Sebby!- PAI?- Are you guys here? Where-”, anxiety hit them in a sudden wave. Their breathing was hindered as they felt a weight on top of their lungs, their eyes scanning around for any sign of movement. Clutching the book tighter as if it were a lifeline. 

They were cut off by their own scream as something roughly grabbed the collar of their shirt. Lifting them from the ground as they kicked out from the scare, trying to get their feet back onto the ground as they struggled in the sudden grip.

Wielding the book in their hands, they began to wildly attack whatever held them so mercilessly. Trying to fight off the attacker with the book as their sword and shield. Only for it to be thrown out of their grip with a small grip of the monster.

Unable to see, they tried slipping away with rapid movement, trying to squeeze their way out of the hold. Only for something wet to drip atop their head, feeling the liquid fall from the hair down to the drop below.

They looked up to see glowing blue eyes, a soft yellow light flickering in front of them. Their eyes widened as they witnessed fate befall them, their panic turned to a sombre deadpan stare as they accepted the reality of what was about to happen.

The tongue drew a line across their face, coating the skin in a thick drool as the creature- Sebastian tasted them. His open maw creased upwards at the sides, a big smile on his face as he noticed their grimace at the gesture.

Shoving their head inwards, gulping down as he licked at their form. Enjoying their delectable taste with ravenous intent as he greedily swallowed them into his empty belly. With a couple of gulps sending down to his stomach, hissing in delight at the meal. 

His tail flicked happily as he pressed his finger to his throat, feeling the weight pass by until his little human landed with a plop into his stomach. A purr escaped him as he felt their movements, hands pressing down on them as they settled in.

They were met with the soft surface of velvet walls of his stomach, the walls cocooning around them in a welcoming hug as it accepted its new “meal”. The walls pressed down on them as Sebastian rubbed circles into their space, soothing them into the space that was himself. 

Those weren’t the only things dwelling in his belly as they found a blanket and pillow housed within. Confused, they gripped the cloth into their hands, feeling a slightly damp yet dry fluffy sheet and one of the many scratchy pillows of Blacksite.

Audibly groaning at the situation before them, only to smother themselves into the blanket as they leaned into the tender flesh. The pillow cuddled to their chest as the surface was comfortable enough without it, not needed yet fond of the object nonetheless. 

“Comfortable? Thought I’d return the favour after all the shit you’ve been pulling lately-”, explaining the reason behind the sudden scare. The realisation dawned upon them as it was revealed that he got his revenge against them. A predator lying in wait for the prey, striking at the perfect moment.

He let out a snicker as they punched his stomach, returning the gesture with more rubs as they reluctantly leaned into the affection. Hearing a small yawn escape them, cradled in warmth as they tucked into the comfortable space.

“Get some sleep, little guppy. You need it.”. He bit back a chuckle moments later as they were on the verge of sleep within the space, a hand continuing its movement to lull them to sleep. 

His attention turned towards the abandoned book on the floor, observing the cover revealed nothing of its contents. It didn’t look like any valuable data nor did it look interesting with the blank front cover.

Opening the contents within revealed a different story, looking upon different memories with their little scribbles of drawings and pictures. Writing down each memory in key detail as if they took in every second of their shared moments. They noted down their thoughts and feelings towards each of their companions too. 

He read in awe, a small content smile on his face as he curled up in his comfortable coiled form, flipping each page with intrigue. It didn’t pass him that they saw through his tough exterior, almost letting out a sigh of relief that they never saw him as the monster he looked like, rather the person within. 

Maybe they should let them in some more…

<...>

“W-what are you doing with that flash beacon?...”. 

[kekaki-cupcakes]

Request for Nico di Angelo!

Hello! If it's okay, may I request Nico with a (GN or male) reader whos got like, super serious mommy issues? Like, they'll be in a bad mood during the last day of summer solely because of the fact that they have to see their mom once they get home. And it's not even bc they're a misbehaving kid, it's just because their mom absolutely sucks. Maybe where their mom has a bunch of pointless rules, too. Like, nothing to do with cats, praying every morning, going to church every Sunday and church school every Monday, etc. And readers just done with life during the year. They'll purposely go on quests the last week if they get the chance just so they don't have to go home, too. Lmao, just realized this is sorta venting in a way, so sorry. It's alr if you cant do my req. Take care and have a nice day/night!

this is a short one but I really like it, so... and by the way, if anyone ever wants to just vent in my inbox please feel free too, there's no judgement on this blog and you're so strong <3 <3 <3

You don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own---Nico x reader with a shitty mum [fluff, dw] »»————-　★　————-««

-Nico would be that person who’d offer to kill anyone you hated

-But he would be completely serious

-Like, no fucking around. He knows how much you despise your mum. But it’s so very hard to hate parents because they're still your parents. Godly parents are a whole different story, but the mortal ones are hard to loathe without feeling shit about it inside, so it becomes this sort of silent resentment. 

-Nico knows that. Sort of… well, from knowing you, really. And he may have planned out your mortal mother's death in a very excruciating way, with a few backup plans just in case.

-You shut that down when he mentioned it subtly, so he went back to rubbing your back and bringing your favorite snacks from the stash Cecil had secretly [everyone knew] imported from the mortal shops, then hissing at people like a rabid cat when they asked where you were. 

-He’s very good at scaring campers off.

-You’d be eating shitty junk food and sweet red strawberries in your cabin and listening to Harry Styles’ song Matilda [Hazel had bought you his record for your birthday last year] pretending your head wasn’t spinning with thoughts about how much you wanted to run away from home, and then the shadow’s by your bed would thicken and your boyfriend would just launch himself onto you.

-You’d gotten pretty used to it, obviously, and now you were pretty much immune to jumpscares. 

-It was a handy skill to have considering how many horror movies you and Nico would watch together. He liked to critique how realistic the deaths actually were, and you liked to watch his nerdy face and tease him for jumping when Ghostface crept out from behind a doorway. 

-But sometimes, mainly the days before you had to return to your mother and the house filled with crosses and rules and arguments and not enough pet cats for your liking, not even movie marathons and picnics in the strawberry fields could help your mood.

-So, Nico would resort to his back up backup plan [not the murder one, the happy boyfriend one], which was cuddle piles. 

-It had taken him quite a while to get used to touch, but between Jason’s ‘how to ask out that random dude you're obsessed with’ classes [you were the random dude] and the fact you liked to hold his hands, he would say that he was quite the expert on hugs now. So he’d wear the biggest jumper he could find, probably one of Hazel’s flowery ones, and drag you into bed. 

-Thankfully his bed was no longer a coffin [they had been turned into bookshelves] and was big enough for you both to squish in. So he’d stroke your hair and nod understandingly when you scoffed about how stupid it was to send a literal child of a Greek God to a church. 

-It wasn’t even a nice church, apparently. It smelt like socks. 

-He had a very good speech for these complaints, which you both knew the words to by now.

One day, very soon, you’re gonna get a job, or a smart person class at college, and you’ll never have to go to Sunday school again. We’re gonna get our own house too. With lots of tea and toast. And rescue cats. And we can name them after your favorite famous people and book characters and we’ll have a huge squishy couch too we can watch horror movies on. 

There’ll be lots of posters on the walls and no one will tease you about being a little kid and you can wear whatever clothes you want. Maybe not orange ones though. I think we’re all sick of oranges. 

And all of our friends can visit whenever they want to, and we’ll have all of their snacks as well. And toothbrushes.  

And we can have Christmas there, without all of the bad stuff. We can decorate the tree really badly. You don’t have to invite your mum. At all. And if she shows up, her coffin will be shaped like a fish. They’re a real thing, you know, fish-shaped coffins. 

You’ll never have to see her again. We’ll have our own place. I promise.

You can throw a party full of everyone you know, and not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love. You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up.

I promise. 

»»————-　★　————-««

[jenny-from-the-bau]

ooh apologies for the super long ask but here's my controversial cm take (well maybe not controversial here, but in general) the longer i got into the show, the more i disliked reid. like i like the concept of him as a character, especially in the early seasons, but his fandom is so obnoxious and the writers played into that too much imo. like one of the things i like about cm is that there's a cast of characters and no real main character, but it really felt like they were giving reid main character syndrome in those last few seasons. also i feel like most of his fans only like him because he's hot (which imo is debatable but that might just be because i'm a lesbian) and they completely mischaracterize him because of it. wdym spencer reid is a domtop sex god he can't talk to women

also i feel like because reid is a supergenius with an iq of 187, the whole fandom discounts how smart the rest of the team is (except blake and maybe garcia, she gets her flowers). like derek went to college on a scholarship, worked as a cop in chicago, worked the bomb squad, and became an expert in obsessional crimes all before joining the bau and he was only in his early 30s in s1. or emily speaks like five languages, went to yale, worked in counterterrorism, went undercover with doyle, and was only 36 when she joined the team. don't even get me started on how the team underestimates jj's intelligence because she's pretty and she was "only" the media liaison and not a "real" profiler despite the fact that she helped profile them countless times before becoming a profiler. she was literally 27 in the first season and it's implied she had been working for the bau for a few years at that point. the bau is one of the most prestigious units in the entire fbi, and it's insanely impressive that she got such a position at such a young age, but people want to act like she's not smart.

also i commented on what it takes on ao3 (my user is repugaytion) and you asked me what my tumblr is, that was me, hiiii! i did in fact read that entire fic instead of studying for my midterm, but dw i had some time to study beforehand, and i aced the exam. no more prioritizing jemily over studying tho lmao

-🐙

(1) I agree with you! I think he's a fine character, but the fanbase was really loud and the writers just leaned more and more into that without considering the other characters. I also think he's smart, but more so, he's good at memorizing and regurgitating information. He usually isn't the one to make actual connections. He gives facts and it's someone else who puts them together. Also Also other people are so so smart and it's over shadowed by his ability to say numbers quickly. It's so frustrating. Everyone is an expert in something, but the show pretends that he's the only smart one.

(2) I hate when people write Spencer as a sex god or like super hot man in bed because like he's a dweeb ass dweeb and that's what makes him so amazing! he's just this nerdy guy who's sweet because he has no interest in pretending to be something he's not. I think mot of his fandom doesn't actually like him. They think he's hot and then make up whatever they want about him.

(3) hellooooooo! I'm glad you aced your exam haha I was worried!

[beardedmrbean]

Nigeria's President Bola Tinubu has squarely rejected the idea of paying any ransom for the release of more than 280 schoolchildren who were abducted last week. Tinubu specified that "not a dime" would be spent to meet the kidnappers' demands, after the payment of ransom was made illegal in Nigeria in 2022.

Authorities may be running out of time to secure the release of the hostages in northwestern Kaduna state, as the kidnapping gangs have vowed to kill the captives if their demands are not met.

The kidnappers have asked for the equivalent of over $620,000 (about €570,000) for the release of the students and school staff — in addition to 11 Toyota Hilux pickup vehicles and 150 motorcycles.

The abductions, which took place in the town of Kuriga on March 7, are the first major kidnappings to take place in Nigeria since 2021. However, gunmen have been operating in the region for several years. Known locally as bandits, they frequently abduct individual locals, especially pupils, to demand ransom payments.

President Tinubu also stressed that the military must step in to ensure the release of the victims, according to Nigeria's Information Minister Mohammed Idris.

"The president has directed that security agencies must as a matter of urgency ensure that these children and all those who have been kidnapped are brought back to safety," Idris told reporters on Wednesday.

Kaduna Governor Uba Sani added that all authorities were "doing everything possible to ensure the safe return of the pupils and students."

Islamist militants, bandits behind kidnapping surge

This recent surge in abductions has become a growing challenge for Nigeria's embattled government. Earlier in the week, some 60 people were also abducted from another village in Kaduna state.

In the past 10 days alone, close to 400 people have been kidnapped for ransom, including 15 other students.

"We see that there are two actors [behind the kidnappings]: one are Islamist militants and then the [other are] bandit groups who have been prescribed as terrorists by the Nigerian government," security expert Ryan Cummings told DW.

Cummings, the director of Signal Risk, a security analysis organization with a focus on the African continent, added that while for the Islamists, "there are some political considerations they demand in exchange for the release of hostages, such as the release of some of their own captured militants," the local bandits operating primarily in northwestern and north-central Nigeria chiefly appear to be motivated by money and secondly by protecting their territorial interests.

"[The bandits] tend to demand financial concessions, but they also use hostages in some of their camps as the means of preventing the Nigerian military from conducting air raids on their positions, for example.

"So obviously they are using civilians as human shield," he said.

Are kidnappers 'ready for negotiation'?

Some attempts are nevertheless being made to negotiate between the government and the criminal gangs. Sheikh Ahmad Gumi, a respected Islamic cleric with a strong military background, has offered to mitigate between the two camps — but there's little hope of success.

Such an intervention, however, would be difficult as the kidnappers seem to become bolder with increasingly excessive ransom demands, said Aliyu Othman, a Nigerian media analyst and journalist.

"The issue of negotiating with bandits will in a lot of the cases not bring about peace. Sheikh Gumi has been offering that opportunity since the period of [Muhammadu] Buhari as the president of Nigeria," Othman told DW.

"Are the kidnappers, the bandits, ready for negotiation or settlement? That is what is important here."

'All we have tried so far has not worked out'

While officials remain resolute in not entering into negotiations with the kidnappers, some Nigerians believe Tinubu's government must keep an open mind in dealing with the crisis.

DW took to the streets of Abuja to ask locals their views. A female resident said she believed the government had to do more to ensure the safety of families who were exposed to the activities of bandits across the country.

"We wake up to a fresh story of a kidnappings every day, when you least expect it. And the sad thing is that now the vulnerable are the victims, like children, women and entire families," she said.

A mother from Abuja, meanwhile, responded that something needs "to be done because all we have tried so far has not worked out. All the security measures that were put in place by the government have failed."

A male resident of Abuja told DW that the government needed more resources to tackle the crisis.

"The attacks are rampant all over. […] If we begin to ask ourselves how many security personnel we have on the ground and how well have they been taken care of, we might get somewhere. So I am appealing to the government to buy the latest technology to track down these criminals because that is the only way forward," he said.

Corruption hindering efforts to fight abduction crisis

Security analyst Cummings agreed that Nigerian authorities have to step up their efforts to stop the kidnappings.

"The Nigerian government will firstly have to enhance the resources available to state security personnel and properly train specialized units that are engaged in anti-kidnapping operations. But most members of the security forces are too inadequately resourced [to begin with], they lack ammunition and food provisions and other resources, too," he said.

Cummings said that while the tools necessary to fight terrorists and kidnappers were in sore demand across the region, corruption within the security services was also contributing to the derailing of efforts to end the crisis.

"The state is not in the position to provide additional resources. This needs to change. There needs to be a shift in strategy."

[vegaseatsass]

GAP the Series ep 6 thoughts (spoilers!!)

Am about to embark on an epic two-day backread (dw this is like. self-soothing behavior, not an obligation) but first!! Let me quickly journal about GAP: The Intricate Rituals Series.

So this episode made me feral. I'm like "no way can they top what last week did to my brain" and then Sam was out here licking Mon's thigh and barking. GAP girlies, we are truly God's strongest soldiers.

Thigh-licking aside, Thee Moment for me this week was Mon: It's nothing Sam: That means it's something. Mon: How could you possibly know that? Sam: I'm that type of person. How could I possibly not know what it's like? I mean first of all hhhhh Sam recognizing herself in Mon's attempt at disregarding very strong/obvious emotions!!! They are so socially different yet still mirrors of each other!! But second of all, Mon has become such an expert at decoding Sam's chaotic hot-cold indirect communication style, and I realized this week that Sam's approach to understanding Mon when avoiding or withdrawing from her isn't to learn how to read between Mon's lines and carefully interpret her like Mon does with Sam, but to urge Mon towards direct communication, push her past her kneejerk social graces to tell Sam the things she would otherwise swallow down. Not sure if I'm explaining this well but I find it really lovely, that they're both so attuned to each other and so invested in really understanding what the other is thinking and feeling, but they have different, complementary skillsets in how to go about seeking answers: Mon is incredibly perceptive and Sam is incredibly assertive. They're learning from each other too!! Not only is Sam paying close attention to what Mon is feeling but she does this cute thing where she lists off all the evidence of what she's observed (you didn't answer my texts and said no to dinner!), like a student first learning how to do mathematical proofs kdjfsdff Mon meanwhile asks more direct questions of Sam every episode. "What am I to you?" It's no longer enough for her to rely on non-verbal cues. Tl;dr im love them.

"What do you want to eat?" "Your lips" WANNA SUCK MOUTH ENERGY STILL GOING STRONG. Sam is so openly horny it is such a delight to behold.

Jim telling Mon she almost broke up with her fiance when Sam kissed her lmaooo she gets it!! I'm also wondering if she (whether deliberately or subconsciously) shared that to try to provoke a reaction in Mon. Sam's friends are just always stirring the pot to try to make Mon/Sam happen, so the symmetry of Jim taunting first Sam and then Mon with kissies seems intentional. Regardless, I am living for how hard they all ship Sam/Mon, and how they lack a single shred of remorse for Kirk. "If you guys have a beautiful affair we won't tell!!!"

I loved Sam's apology to Jim for oh so many reasons (why is she such a sexy gremlin? "You slap me, I'll kiss you." Sam who taught you to be like this!! I know it wasn't grandma!!), but one of them is all the apology language she's adopted from Kirk and Mon. The fingerheart attempt was so uwu I am having trouble typing about it, but also I'm clocking the snack bribery as something she picked up from Kirk. Before Mon became her role model on how to human, Kirk was there. Like esp if he's been mitigating her grandma's influence on her since she was a kid? I can just see why that was such a central relationship for her before Mon came along. Like I am sad! That he wasn't actually reading the room and wingmanning for her with Mon in ep2! I would have loved that as a story choice sooo much more, he's more annoying for his heteronormativity goggles, and it legit sucks that he's pushing their relationship in earnest when AT A MINIMUM he knows Sam views marriage as a kind of punishment/failure of girlboss aspirations. But I still suspect (what I am anticipating we'll see of) Sam's sense of obligation around his proposal isn't exclusively about obeisance to her grandma. I think there probably was real love there and he probably was a transformative and vital support for her for a lot of her life. Idk I haven't backread any of the tag or anything so this may be a realllly unpopular take lmao but I'm compelled by mess and it's more interesting to me to think that Sam really has loved and depended on Kirk as a partner for most of her life, but she isn't in love with him, something that only became crystal clear after meeting Mon.

On the heteronormativity goggles note: proud of Nop for getting his shit together this fast! I mean I think he always knew, and last week Mon just took away his reason to keep lying to himself about it, but it's nice that he can comfortably transition into Mon's lesbianism supporter. SHE NEEDS ONE

Noticed that she started wearing rainbow earrings after their little discussion btw. Is she beginning to embrace her "like"-like-a-lover-not-like-a-fangirl feelings... signs point to yes. Honestly atp I think all she needed to take that bouquet and propose to Sam herself was some explicit confirmation that Sam sees her as girlfriend material and not as a weird servant-sister, so it's devastating that instead of getting that grounding, the rug was pulled out from under them both. The preview for next week feels v "I don't know if we were dating but I do know she broke up w/ me" and that's the kind of gay representation I desire MOST so thank you but also ow.

Ok sorry for tl;dr post but the last thing I'll say is that right now my reading is that before her conversation with Nop, Mon was not looking too closely at her feelings for Sam or what they could mean about their relationship or her own identity, and that's why for example she gets so upset Sam calls her an outsider but NOT that Kirk is doing couple-y stuff with Sam right in front of her! She knows she wants to be close to Sam and important and more than a sister or a servant to her, but she can't fully-fully embrace the word for what it is that she wants without Sam naming it first. Mon's issue is one of internal expression. On the other hand, I think Sam completely knows what she feels for Mon, and probably always has. She felt guilty and exposed that Kirk was being couple-y in front of Mon because she fully sees Mon as her girlfriend! (Did she not google "how to make up with your girlfriend" lol I mean.) But for her the issue is one of external expression: she can't say what she knows she wants and feels out loud, because at best it would get her disowned and at worst it would get her killed in a car crash like her sister, so she's left slapping her friends and inventing lip-biting games instead of using her words.

Ep 1, Ep 2, Ep 3, Ep 4, Ep 5

[frankensteined]

31 Days of Dragon Age (Day 2)

missed day 1 so i'll just jam both prompts into this post

Introduce your Hero of Ferelden & Favorite Origins romance

Oct 01 - Introduce your Hero of Ferelden

i don't have any images currently because my origins playthroughs all took place on the ps3 or a PC that i no longer have, but a rundown of my main three HoF incoming: neira mahariel - DW rogue with the ranger spec.

she was actually my second playthrough, after i used my first one to acquaint myself with the game and its lore before i dove into the roleplaying aspect of it. neira started out as your typically distrustful dalish elf, who resisted becoming a grey warden every step of the way. she didn't care if she was tainted and slated to die, she did not want to leave her clan, and she resented duncan for dragging her away from them. ultimately, she fell in love with zevran, though not until well after she'd gotten closure and properly grieved for her first love, tamlen. neira's seriousness mingled well with zev's more playful approach to the horrors of life, and that created a healthy bubble for them to be vulnerable and supportive with one another. ultimately, left anora to rule ferelden on her own, since alistair didn't want to become king and neira didn't want him to have to give up "his clan" (the wardens), but did convince him to undergo the dark ritual with morrigan. has since disappeared with zevran in search of a cure for the calling and according to the experts (my headcanon), they're doing just fine now, thanks.

syrill amell - mage (obviously) with the spirit healer spec.

he was a smartass, irreverent brat at the circle, but in that way that people still liked him, even when he was getting on their nerves. vain and prideful, he was also totally the type of mage that a demon would have loooooved to get ahold of...if not for the fact that syrill was also a gigantic nerd and studied frequently to avoid falling into the pitfalls of becoming an abomination. jowan was his buddy, in a "sidekick" sense, and it definitely annoyed syrill that jowan went and did...All Of That behind his back, but he still did what it took to free him and keep him safe when the opportunity arose. truly hated being in the circle (though not to the 'escapist' degree of anders), and truly, truly hated the templars, so he jumped at the chance to leave when duncan rolled in (ignoring all the blood everywhere and all that). he and alistair did not get along at all, but he fell all over himself to impress morrigan the second that he met her. somehow, his cringefail attempts at charm and his really nice hair won her over, and they fell in love. he spared loghain, not wanting to risk losing someone who knew what they were doing when it came to big battles, and alistair stormed off, never to be seen by syrill again. oops. post-game, he actually grew up quite a bit as the warden commander, but he never let go of his love for morrigan, often wondering about her and the child they supposedly had together. come witch hunt, he went with her without hesitating, and instantly loved their son the second that he met him. lived with his family for years in the crossroads, became a Certified Fun Dad, and only left them to try to cure the calling. as far as i'm concerned, he's currently hovering over kieran's shoulder while morrigan is away, not ready to see his baby boy (read: a 20 year old man) move out on his own.

vaye brosca - DW rogue with the assassin spec.

Hardened Criminal with a heart of gold. we love that trope, right? vaye's another warden who didn't want to leave her home, but her sister's pleading ultimately prompted her to do so. everything that vaye did was for rica's sake anyways, so she left, and was a fish out of water every step of the way since then. her go-to response to most problems was Knife, which her companions needed to break her of that habit really quickly (or, in zevran's case, teach her how to wield it with a little more grace). every single awkward, socially-inept dialogue choice was put to good use with this character, but somehow that ended up making her blisteringly honest and very capable of cutting through the bullshit in order to tell when she was being manipulated. ironically, fell in love with leliana because she was able to see through her layers and they found common ground with their bloodied pasts. quickly became the squishiest of romances, and vaye really loved gifting her the nug (something from her home that leliana didn't yet understand), and the flowers (something from leliana's home, that vaye didn't yet understand). since vaye understood that "king = power = safety", she nudged alistair to marry anora and rule jointly, and when she was named paragon, she was happy to see her sister elevated to nobility so that she could marry king bhelen and also enjoy that much safety. is currently living in a villa on the waking sea, surrounded by nugs, waiting for when leliana can come home.

Oct 02 - Favorite Origins romance

Actual Love Of My Life, Zevran Arainai

on my aforementioned tester first playthrough, i made a city elf and romanced alistair and went around flirting with whoever i could, just to get a sense of what sorts of characters i was dealing with. the inevitable "time to choose" conversation with zevran, though, really surprised me and gave me serious enough pause that it decided my first "real playthrough"'s romance for me right away. i was struck by how zevran, who'd been such a flirty, casual guy in this department up until then, was making it very clear that he didn't want to hurt alistair with any continued dalliances, given how much the other guy was clearly falling. he was sincere and respectful, and didn't even lose approval when i opted to have my tester warden break things off between them, and that kind of care and maturity really won me over.

fastforward to my neira playthrough, and that sincerity and deep, terrified love really, really solidified itself as an rpg favourite for me. you really feel the progression from "for fun" and "for life" with this relationship. it has its silly moments ("is there something in your tent that needs...assassinating?" or the dirty antivan poetry that he tells you just to make you laugh), and it has its truly moving moments (the earring scene, especially if you ask him if he's proposing, his farewell scene at the game before the final battle). and in the end, he stays with your warden through everything. yes, his DA2 appearance was fully bugged on import so i never actually saw him acknowledge the romance to isabela, and yes, i'm still bummed that he's the only origins romance that didn't get an appearance in inquisition, but a romanced zevran is still stated to be traveling with the warden in their letter, so he's still with them, after all these years, keeping them safe and helping to save their life. again. all because they spared his at a time when he didn't care if he lost it.

there's something really lovely about your pc being a character's first love, but there's something even lovelier, to me, about them being a character's last love, and the zevran romance is exactly that. it's still my number one of the series, no matter how much more content some of the others have in comparison.

[pjsk-writin]

I had an idea for Rui and Mizuki with a shut-in reader, it can be either platonic or romantic idc.

Foreground: The reader used to be friends with the two of them in middle school, as they were another social outcast. The reader stops showing up to lunch one day without a word.

Present day: Mizuki or Rui run into the reader outside, and they're both happy to see eachother, but the reader is a complete ball of anxiety. It turns out that after some severe bullying, the reader left school and went full hikikomori. They work online and only ever leave their apartment to get groceries, and they've developed a fear of just going outside.

Feel free to pass on this if it's too angsty, I'm kinda just projecting my life onto a pjsekai prompt XD

waaa its ok dw, im doing this separately unless you wanted them combined, and ill leave it up for interpretation- i hope you like this!! <3

♡ OUTCASTS - Rui Kamishiro and Mizuki Akiyama x Reader

Rui:

Rui was used to people pushing him away for being weird, so he was always grateful for you and Mizuki's presence

He was expecting one of you two to leave him eventually. It still hurt when it was you though

Fast-forward to a couple years later. Rui has become an expert with robotics, and is well known for his eccentric plans

He was buying some more parts for his robots when he bumped into you

He would pause, looking you over before calling your name cautiously. Your eyes widened before you mumbled, "Rui?..." "Ah, so you do remember me! I thought you had forgotten about me completely back then." There was barely hidden hurt laced in his tone

You had detected it, and was quick to stumble an apology out. You spoke about how you had been bullied, how you shut yourself in your room, how you had grown a fear of going outside for anything except your essentials

And then, the hurt was gone, replaced by sympathy. "Ah, is that so?" He hummed, placing a hand on your head and patting you, "I apologize, I would've tried to help if I knew...How about I make it up to you?"

After that run-in, he went over to your house often. He would come with his robotics, and would talk and catch up with you as he worked. Sometimes, he'd bring Nene with him, since you were acquainted with her when you were younger

He makes a robot for you, one very similar to Robo-Nene that you can use. It can leave the house, and you were able to maneuver it from the comforts of your home. Rui would just need to accompany the robot to make sure that things didn't go wrong. He'd do anything for you though <3

Mizuki:

Mizuki was learning a lot about themself during middle school, so it was a show of trust that they let you and Rui into their life when they did

Of course, that made the sting of you suddenly not meeting with them worse. They could never find you at school either. Where did you go?...

Fast-forward to a couple of years later. Mizuki had become more sure of themself, and was as comfortable as they could be in their identity today

They were out buying groceries when they bumped into you, and it was a shock for you both

They called your name with awe, and you stared at them for a bit before your eyes went wide. "Mizuki?..." "Yeah! How have you been? I haven't seen you since..." They would trail off, looking to the side before sighing. "Ah well, that's in the past-"

You stutter out an apology before quickly and quietly explaining what had happened. When the bullying had become too much, you had shut yourself in your room, too anxious to do much outside except buy groceries

They had nodded the whole time, a sad smile on their face. "Ah, I'm sorry it reached that point..." They took your hand, squeezing it gently, "You're like one of my friends- I won't force you to go out too much, but we should really meet up again. I missed you!"

So, after that day, they go over to your house as much as they can. Sometimes, they call Niigo while they're at your house, and introduce you to them! You and Kanade bond over your hatred of going outside

They buy a lot of gifts for you since they know you fear going outside. Ena asks why they have so many bags and they respond that they're for a very special person <3

[tomorrowusa]

Russia, a fossil fuel superpower, is experiencing significant heating issues this winter.

Thousands of Russians have been affected by heating systems failing across the country, including Moscow and its outskirts, the Moscow Oblast, as they face one of the harshest winters in decades. The wave of breakdowns started in December and shows no sign of stopping. This week, at least 16 people suffered burns in the city of Nizhny Novgorod when a large-bore heating pipe exploded, spouting boiling water into the street. The pipe failure also left more than 3,000 people without heat, according to a local news channel on Telegram. [ ... ] The most severe breakdown occurred in Klimovsk, a district of the city of Podolsk in Moscow Oblast, just 50 kilometers (30 miles) from the capital. On January 4, the temperature dropped to -34 Celsius (-29.2 Fahrenheit) — the coldest spell for the area in at least 40 years. On the same day, a Klimovsk heating plant failed. Some 20,000 people were left without heat in the district of 50,000 people. Thousands of them remained cut off from the heating grid for several days. Other cities and towns in the region also experienced multi-day heating failures during the extremely cold weather, with residents of the city of Elektrostal lighting bonfires in front of their apartment buildings as a sign of protest.

Putin has his priorities. The Brezhnev-era infrastructure in Russia is falling apart but he is still diverting resources to his 3-day 696-day "special operation" in Ukraine.

Experts warned that the heating network in Russia is poorly maintained and outdated — especially in the areas that have massively increased their population density since the Soviet times. Even now, some parts of the country still use decades-old steel pipes, well past their projected 25-year lifetime, according to Russia's The Bell outlet. Official figures cited by The Bell indicate that some 3% of the heating, water and sanitation network is labeled as being in a state of "emergency" every year. Still, only 1%-2% are being modernized, leading to thousands of breakdowns.

Putin gambled about who would "suffer" – and he lost.

Following Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine, state propagandists issued dire warnings over EU sanctions on gas imports, claiming Europe would "freeze" without access to Russian gas for its heat. Nearly two years into the war, however, heating in Europe appears stable while Russian officials scramble to respond to the heating crisis. This contrast is pointed out with glee by Putin critics and Russian-speaking users from war-torn Ukraine. "They decided to freeze out Europe, but that didn't work. Then they decided to freeze their own to intimidate others," a YouTube user commented under a video reporting on the breakdowns.

Europe had already been increasing the amount of energy it gets from renewable sources. And after Putin's illegal invasion began, many European countries greatly decreased the amount of natural gas they import from Russia. Being less reliant on Russian energy has made Europe more independent. It's never a good idea to become dependent on neighboring dictators.

This report on people freezing in Russia is from UATV in Ukraine. You'd never get anything this candid about the Russian heating crisis on Russian state media.

Dictator Putin's invasion of Ukraine has only spotlighted Russia's shoddy army, its decaying infrastructure, its endless corruption, and its police state repression. If Putin was trying to demonstrate what a great world power Russia is, his invasion has only proven the opposite.

[randomgentlefolk]

CPC CHAPTER 152

Guess who's been playing Our Life: BA and lost every awareness toward time

I will never, ever get over Lorena's defense system. It's SO FRICKING GOOD LIKE..Eggs and bacon? Shuriken? THAT BIG CHOPPING THING? I LOVE THEM.

Also seeing the cpc and Gwen's siblings as fairytale characters are really cool! Also, Thermidora just straight up changing role from Tweedledee/Tweedledum into The Little Mermaid is so accurate regarding how dreams often suddenly change rapidly lmao xd

There are still some people we haven't seen as fairytale characters though. Such as Jack, Leelathae, Leopold, and the Plaid family. I think Leopold would have a role because of his speech to Gwen in chapter 64. Also Leelathae. Is there a chance that she might appear as the grandma of Red Riding Hood in a way to show Gwen's repressed memory? Would it come in a way of Leelathae apologizing to Gwen?

Here's a little angst: Gwen's repressed memory of Leelathae will come to her in the way of Leelathae apologizing to her over over. Apologizing because she had brought her to a cruel world. Feeling deep guilt because she knows what Gwen will go through. Now that I think about it, the immense guilt might be the reason why Leelathae become sick and.. well. But that would be too angsty, wouldn't it? Still might be possible, though...

MOVING ON HAHA I GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY THERE.

But imagine if the grandma turns out to be Jack XD since how his old portrait was reacted to by the cpc.

Wait hang on I just realized here. What is Laverne supposed to be? Is-is she the grandma? That would make the "idk where my grandma is" comment by Abbi strange though..

Oh? Red eyes.. Either this is Blaine, referencing to the bonus short featuring him as Red Riding Hood, or it could be Leland, which is like, a little different from a serpent but still a "predator" regardless. Hm, this got me thinking about the similarities between Wolves and Snakes. Which is their cunning nature that fits Leland a lot. But wolves also resemble family which is, uh, not Leland at all! Haha.

So maybe this is Blaine? Like I said, it would reference to him being the Red Riding Hood. Ironically, he becomes the wolf. But! That can also reference to how not only is Leland the one breaking him, he himself is also breaking himself. Because he wouldn't redeem himself, plus Leland "undirectly(?)" Supporting that idea. Geez, Blaine. Yea, I still have a glimmer of hope and I can't help it. I analyze him like a math equation. Someone who I can't understand completely since I'm never in his spot, but someone I can try to learn and figure out? Not in the way of "I can fix him" but in the way of "What is going on with him? What is he thinking? What's blocking his way?"

Orrr since Abbi is the Red Riding Hood, maybe that wolf is Abbi's parent XD although Gwen never meet them so it would be quite impossible.

Moving on, this was talked about in discord and Maria's music note doesn't exactly make sense xd

Is there any Music Expert who can explain this, if you don't mind? XD

BLAINE. BLAINE DON'T.

Tsk tsk. Dissapointed noises from me.

GWEN! She's learning slowly. I'm so proud of her :')

STAN COLONEL SNUGGLES!!!

Maria. Dearest Maria. Would the polite, respectful guard, Lieutenant Beckett Dandridge, throw a fucking rock that smashed your window and might harm you had it been thrown the wrong way?

I'm sorry it's just.

Tsk tsk. Disappointed noises from me.

Good thing though, they finally knows what's happening! And with the help of CPC, I'm sure they'll come through, somehow.. I mean, at least they have some special skills haha. I wonder if Maria can call a lion? Or if Lorena can make venomous/carnivorous plants? I'm excited :D

I must say from the deepest of my heart, goddamnit Blaine holy shit dude wtf. You're still one of my fav character tho so dw. I'm not mad, just disappointed. Really disappointed. I have hope that he will get character development! But the way he is getting more and more like Leland is..concerning to say the least.

That's all for now, I can't wait for the next chapter which will come in.. around 4 hours..haha.. (you should definitely play Our Life: Beginning & Always it's so wholesome. Also I'm in the progress of new cpc art. I have the idea and all, I'm just struggling with drawing the anatomy/pose. Hopefully I will get through that)

Mono out! (But still in to hear your thoughts. Probably. It's 4 AM)

[nehswritesstuffs]

Getting the hang of things: 12, Clara and the kids try to take a normal human family vacation together and things don’t go as planned.

Happy Twelve Day, everyone! It’s still 12.12 where I am, so meh this is going up.

2190 words; one of my favorite inconsequential personal headcanons for Coal Hill if Clara continues teaching there is that the Eleven expy coworker eventually becomes headmaster, because why the fuck not; makes mention of the very angsty ch.33 (tumblr/FFN/AO3); sorry I’ve had severe OP brain rot the past half year please take this in penance (though I’ve got a lot more for it than DW coming sorry not sorry); friendly reminder to not interact with wildlife unless you are with an expert and the Doctor does not count as an expert; not really thoroughly beta’d, but if I find something egregious I’ll fix it for now I’m just tired

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

All Clara really wanted was to go to the seaside. Just a seaside holiday with her husband and children… was that too much to ask?

The first reason it was deemed unattainable, it was because she had her time off request denied. She went directly to the headmaster’s office, as she was not in the mood to do anything else, and confronted him directly. She had the available time, there was no testing or other things going on then, her husband already had his time approved at his work (though, she did not mention that his time was automatically approved being as one saved the ability to tell a minor cosmic deity “no” for special occasions), so what was the problem…?

“Sorry, Clara,” the headmaster apologized. “I thought you knew.”

“…knew what, Adrian?”

“That’s the week of the Year Sevens’ class trip.”

Everything came rushing back to her in a rush of mortification. Yes, the Thursday and Friday she requested was when the Grade Sevens were going to Loch Lomond for a camping and culture excursion. She even was going to chaperone, since her “step-children” were on the trip this year. How in the bloody hell did she forget…? Wracking her brain quick as she could, she tried to think about when she could have possibly volunteer and then immediately forget the entire thing…?

Oh.

“Did you get me to agree to this… say… late September, early October…?”

“October 3rd, actually. I’ve got the paperwork here.”

“Adrian… you know I’m out of sorts around then,” she groaned.

“I had to get the list of adults ready, you know that,” the headmaster defended gently. He was one of the few who knew of her… particular family situation and all the intergalactic implications involved, and had known from the start. “Any other empty long weekend is yours, no questions.”

“Then I guess I’ll talk with the Doctor when I get home,” she sighed. She rubbed her temples as she felt a headache coming on, her attention stolen when the headmaster placed a couple stacks of papers on his desk. “Adrian Thomas Davies, what the bloody hell is that?”

“Not much,” he shrugged. “Since you mentioned him, we do need to discuss the Doctor…”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The second reason that a regular family holiday was perfectly unattainable was due to the fact that… well… screw it, there was a lot of reasons, and they all kept piling up at a rapid pace.

Missing his tobacco habit for the first time in nearly two millennia, the Doctor stood surrounded by five dozen tweens who were wound up and excited for the fact they were on a trip away from home. He looked over at a pair of fathers who had also come along, envious at their excuse for a smoke break, the act of which brought them more than a few yards away at a designated stand at the edge of the carpark. It wasn’t even something he could magically pick up again for the duration of the trip, because one puff and Clara would be absolutely livid. Instead, he was surrounded by his children’s classmates, nearly all exuding a sort of energy he was not used to encountering, all because Clara accidentally volunteered him.

“Dad?” He glanced over and saw Alison staring up at him. “What's wrong?”

“I don’t know,” he lied. What was wrong was that he was currently risking a lot in order to be there for the trip. He was still taking the time off at the end of the week, but at the same time, he was also currently at the office, helping disassemble some extraplanar tech thanks to the scientific wonder that was the TARDIS. “How’re you holding up, Aly? You and Jim alright?”

“Yeah—he’s over with Auntie Nellie and Mum,” the girl said, pointing vaguely behind him. He turned and saw Clara and an Osgood—the only reason he was able to get away with a normally-contract-breaching use of time travel—as they attempted to corral some of the more energetic students. Although there were still other adults there to help out, there was not much being done to help the general chaos of sixty London-raised children getting ready to spend a week camping in Scotland. James was almost clung to Clara, which made his father chuckle. There was so much happening that it was a bit scary even for him.

“Dr. Oswald-Smith?” The Doctor looked and saw one of the wee terrors staring at him curiously. “When did you move to London from Scotland?”

“I moved to London from Gallifrey about two thousand years ago, in 1963,” he grunted. The tween scowled and looked at Alison.

“Is he going to be like this the whole trip?”

“He gets better,” Alison assured. The student shrugged and went off to another cluster, allowing the girl to glare at her father. “Don’t ruin this for us!”

“Ruin what?”

“Friends!” At that, he knew precisely what it was she meant: they needed to be able to interact with their new peers with little judgement. They had not yet been with these classmates for a year—as “transfer students”, they were on thin ice. That explained her outburst and irritation.

“Don’t worry, kiddo—I’m not looking to ruin anything,” he assured. The Doctor watched as she stormed off and joined her classmates. A pang of guilt struck through him—she was embarrassed by him.

“I see that look on your face.” He glanced over and saw Clara standing there, having abandoned Osgood to be devoured by rabid tweens or whatever was going on over on the other side of the carpark. “Don’t act like you’re surprised or anything.”

“Some normal family holiday this is turning out to be,” he noted. She just shook her head and sighed. “That’s what we wanted, right?” He bent down and they pecked their lips together—can’t show too much affection, after all.

“For the time being, anyhow,” she replied. She handed him a copy of the itinerary; it was decidedly packed with activities for the kids, which meant few breaks for the adults. “Think you can handle our group for the time being?”

“If our group isn’t stolen by the meme master over there,” he said, gesturing over towards Osgood. She and a small child looked like they were having a dance-off, with other adults watching carefully on from a distance. Clara made a note to invite Osgood back if they were running short on chaperones in the future—she was surprisingly good with the kids. “Let’s just get this over with, and then we can go on as normal. It’s only fair.”

“…to whom…?”

“Neither of us, I can tell you that.” Something over on the other side of the carpark caught his eye and he groaned internally. “None of these pudding-brains should know what the mechanics for trimonoclyde fusion is, correct?”

“Considering I have no idea what you just said…?”

“I’ll be right back—watch Osgood’s pockets. I think we’ve got thieves in our midst.” The Doctor went off to where there were some children huddled around a rock in order to confiscate something.

This was going to be a ride, that was for certain.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

As it turned out, camping with so many tweens was not a wise idea, both the Doctor and Clara found out. Their children? They weren’t being the best, but they were manageable. It was many of the rest of the children—not to mention a couple of the adults—that grated on their nerves. Between students attempting to run off into the woods and the adults’ inane banter and members of both groups attempting to wander off at different points to find a town (and therefore, wifi), things were beginning to get complicated.

“Remind me to throw your boss into a supernova when we get back,” the Doctor groused as he sat down next to Clara. The pair of them were taking the early watch in their half of the camp, making sure that no one decided to sneak off. All of the tents opened towards them, which admittedly was a big help, but it was still a two-person job at the very least. With the loch to their backs and the other watch pair further off, it could have nearly been considered private.

“You will not be doing anything to Adrian… and no calling in favors on him,” she warned. She poked the fire in front of them with a stick, agitating the logs so more could catch fire properly. “This part’s nice, at least.”

“I thought you hated bonfires.”

“I do—I’m talking about the quiet.” She leaned back and looked up at the stars, the fact they were even there an incredible thing to see for someone who normally lived in London. Smiling, Clara continued to stare as she leaned against the Doctor’s shoulder.

“What are you looking at?” he asked.

“Stars.”

“You see them all the time when we’re out in the TARDIS.”

“True, but I don’t often get to see them while on Earth,” she reasoned. “Even now, the village is close enough that we don’t really see everything.”

“It’s a shame, because everything looks amazing from here.” She turned her head to see that he was looking directly at her, without any regard for the sky above or the tents they were supposed to be minding. He leaned down and kissed her tenderly before wrapping an arm around her and tucking her head under his chin. “We’ll have to do this on our own when we’re feeling up to camping.”

“A camping permit for just the four of us?”

“I was thinking a little something pre-permits.” Clara could then feel the Doctor tense. “Did you see that?”

“See what?”

“I think I saw something over by the back tents.”

“A wildcat, I bet.”

“Possibly, but let me see.” He grabbed a torch and stood, heading back over towards the rear of the encampment. Shining the torch around, he didn’t catch anything. “Huh. Nothing. I guess it was my imagin—”

At that, a wildcat did indeed jump out from behind a tent and hissed at the Doctor. The Time Lord stared at it, unimpressed.

“I’d change your attitude if I were you,” he said. “No one’s here to steal your kills.”

A yowl and a hiss escaped the cat, the hairs on its back standing on-end.

“They’re a bunch of kids—kittens, if you will—and although yes I admit some of them are losing that thing that makes them cool, most of them are rather brilliant.” The wildcat did not yield. “Aren’t you the pleasant one?”

“Doctor? Should I get Osgood?”

“Naw—it’s just a cat,” he said.

Soon as the words left his lips, the wildcat attacked. The feline jumped at him, meowing loudly. Other cats then started popping out from the wood, all of them attempting to climb at him and bite or swipe at his ankles and knees. He tried to shoo them away to no avail; they kept coming, somehow all swarming him. Students and other chaperones alike began poking their heads out of their tents to see what all the commotion was about.

“Dr. Oswald-Smith, are you alright?” one of the chaperones asked blearily. The wildcat nearest her hissed violently, forcing her to retreat back into the tent.

“It’s always you getting into trouble like this,” Clara groaned. She suddenly appeared at his side with the broom left to them by the parks people, trying to bat the wildcats away without hurting them. A few got the hint, but most kept attacking. The Doctor made a run for the loch, wading into the shallow bit before the cats began to rethink leaving him alone. One, however, lunged up and at him, knocking him fully over into the water. By now their entire side of the camp was awake and staring at the scene, along with some from the other half, with James and Alison looking on in horror.

“This is an absolute disaster,” James squeaked. The cat that knocked over his father jumped back to shore and bounded through camp and into the wood, disappearing as silently as it appeared.

“Disaster doesn’t even cover it,” Alison groaned. She looked at the three girls that she was sharing a tent with and scowled. “Would you believe me if I said this wasn’t the weirdest thing I’ve seen happen to him?”

“I believe it, Ozsmith,” one of them replied. They watched as the Doctor dragged himself out of the loch, absolutely sopping wet. “Maybe that’s the story behind the monster up in Ness?”

“Knowing Dad? Probably had something to do with it.”

If they asked, then yes, of course he had something to do with the sensation up in Loch Ness. To be honest, he’d had Victoria and Jamie take turns recording the whole thing. Yet right now? In front of most of his children’s Human classmates? In the cold? Under the scrutiny of half a dozen torches? He was just lucky that the TARDIS was able to tone down his cursing over such a long distance.

[head-post]

Europe recruits migrants to combat labor shortages

As immigration has become a major political issue in Europe, especially with the rise of nationally oriented parties, pressure on governments to curb its numbers has increased. Still, some countries, even those openly opposed to immigration, are attracting foreign workers to fill large labour shortages and support the aging continent’s economy.

The European Union has identified 42 professions with labour shortages and developed an action plan to attract foreign workers. Nearly two-thirds of of small and medium-sized businesses in the bloc say they cannot find the skills they need.

On the face of it, many European leaders, especially those from nationally oriented parties, appear to favour making deals with third countries to restrict immigrants’ entry or repatriate them to other countries. Yet amid much less noise, there have been signs of a policy shift that recognises the need for immigrants.

Italy recruits Indian nurses

Italy’s government, led by Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni, has decided to hire hundreds of thousands of foreign workers who are much-needed to fill the labour shortage. The Italian government said last year, admitting that this was far less than the “identified need of 833,000” workers over the period:

“For the three-year period [from] 2023 to 2025, the government expects a total of 452,000 people.”

According to research centre IDOS, Italy needs 280,000 foreign workers each year until 2050 to meet labour shortages in various sectors such as agriculture, tourism and healthcare – roughly half the number of asylum claims made last year. The country faces labour shortages in 37 professions, with nurses and other health professionals in the greatest demand.

The government recently announced it would hire 10,000 nurses from India to fill a shortage that is three times greater. Italian Health Minister Orazio Schillaci said in October that India has an oversupply of nurses. According to him, “there are 3.3 million nurses in India.” He also said:

“We want to bring about 10,000 here.”

Italy sends migrants to Albania under new asylum scheme

The Indian nurses are highly skilled and will be recruited directly by Italian regions and placed where needed after their ability to speak Italian is determined, Schillaci said.

Maurizio Ambrosini, a sociology professor and migration expert at the University of Milan, told DW that Meloni’s government was forced to change the policy because of employers who are desperate for workers. He said by phone:

“Italian employers have been silent on the migration debate for years. I guess they didn’t want to pick a fight with right-wing parties. But that’s not the case now.”

Many, even in her own coalition, see the policy as a sharp reversal from Meloni, who once called pro-immigration policies part of a left-wing conspiracy to “replace Italians with immigrants.” Attilio Lucia, a member of the Liga party and deputy mayor of Lampedusa, a tiny island where many migrants arrive, said:

“I was hoping that now that we finally have a right-wing government the situation would change, but the right is getting worse than the left.”

Netherlands wants to keep ‘migrants with knowledge’

Business may also have influenced the thinking of the new Dutch government, led by the lawmaker Geert Wilders of the Freedom Party.

ASML, the country’s largest semiconductor equipment company, has said its success depends on talented people, wherever they come from. The company believes that inbound migration should not be restricted. Nearly 40 per cent of the company’s employees are foreign workers. Christophe Fouquet, CEO of ASML, said at the Bloomberg Tech Summit in London last month:

“We have built our company with over 100 nationalities.Attracting talent from everywhere has been an absolute prerequisite for success, and this must continue.”

Germany introduces “Opportunity Card”

Germany aims to issue 200,000 visas to skilled workers this year, a 10 per cent increase on 2023. This is due to the introduction in June of the Opportunity Card scheme, a residence permit that allows workers from non-EU countries to come to Germany and look for work. During a recent visit to India, German Chancellor Olaf Scholz said Germany was “open to skilled workers” and agreed to smooth bureaucratic hurdles and increase the number of visas for Indians from 20,000 to 90,000 a year.

Germany needs about 400,000 new skilled workers a year to cover labour shortages, especially in engineering, information technology and health care, and sees trained Indians as a potential workforce.

On the other hand, the rise of the Alternative for Germany (AfD) in regional elections and a knife attack in the West German city of Solingen in the summer led Scholz to sign up to the introduction of internal border checks in the EU “to curb migration.”

Speaking on the issue in July, Scholz said illegal migration to Germany should “reduce” but emphasised that the country needed skilled foreigners.

Almost all European countries face the same problem – a shortage of labour in the face of ageing populations. Despite the influx of immigrants, they do not want to appear to be allowing migrants to come without visas.

Read more HERE

[ailtrahq]

Venture capitalist Christen Ager-Hanssen announced his departure from web3 solutions provider nChain, citing a conspiracy to defraud shareholders. The Norwegian internet entrepreneur stated on social media that he was stepping down from his position as CEO “with immediate effect.” I can confirm I have departed from @nChainGlobal as its Group CEO with immediate effect after reporting several serious issues to the board of nChain Group including what I believe is a conspiracy to defraud nChain shareholders orchestrated by a significant shareholder. I also… pic.twitter.com/F6rNJfRxnl— Christen Ager-Hanssen (@agerhanssen) September 29, 2023 Ager-Hanssen alleged a conspiracy to defraud nChain shareholders in the post, directly implicating an unnamed major shareholder. He also expressed doubt about the legitimacy of the DW Discovery Fund, an open-licensed fund registered in the Cayman Islands that specializes in “investing within disruptive technology.” The now-former CEO of nChain also disputed that Australian entrepreneur and computer scientist Craig Wright was Bitcoin’s pseudonymous founder, Satoshi Nakamoto. Ager-Hanssen previously believed in Wright’s claims of being Satoshi, even pledging his support in an October 2022 post on X. However, he now states that he is “convinced” that Wright is not Satoshi, citing “evidence” that shows Wright manipulated documents to deceive a court into asserting his claim. In his post, Ager-Hanssen predicted that Wright would lose all of his legal battles pertaining to his claims of being Satoshi. Ager-Hanssen also expressed his sympathies for the remaining employees at nChain but reiterated his desire to distance himself from something he no longer believes in. He said he could no longer remain at nChain after the company’s board ignored his accusations and his recommendation that Wright be removed. “The board didn’t take action, and my job becomes clearly untenable. One of the things I recommended to the chairman of the board was to sack Dr. Craig Wright.” Christen Ager-Hanssen, former nChain CEO The alleged manipulation of documents is a serious accusation against Wright, who has been at the center of controversy for years due to his claim of being Satoshi Nakamoto. Crypto industry experts have long questioned the legitimacy of Wright’s claims, but Ager-Hanssen’s allegations may add further doubt and fuel to the ongoing debate.

[syncopein3d]

Addendum, in case some of you are thinking "Come on, the Templar would know that's an Emperor's Children marine." I submit to you that an Astartes can become a Veteran in well under a thousand years, and their casualty rates are very high. It's entirely possible for the Templar to be a grizzled expert who has never in his life seen an accurate image of a Son of Fulgrim or the ancient Palatine Phoenix himself. Imperial propaganda almost never depicts the traitor Primarchs and their legions accurately, either. Almost the only way for another Astartes to accurately recognize the legion that the Blackshield is from based on his appearance would be for him to also be around 10,000 years old. Even in the Deathwatch, that's very uncommon, and a lot of the DW marines that age are Blackshields themselves with their own secret shame to hide.

This is also why nobody is suspicious that the Sons of the Phoenix might not be Imperial Fist successors.

The Templar will definitely hate that he's in yoke with what appear to be at least two mutants, probably three, but he is Deathwatch and they are his squad. He's there to kill xenos first!

Pain that can only be relieved by touch, pressure, weight. I don't mean sexually. I never mean that with whump, in fact. I mean, imagine a whumpee who has been worked so hard that every muscle is agony if they even think about moving. Massage is painful at first, but as the muscles warm and loosen the pain starts to gradually ease. Now they're desperate for it not to stop, where when it started they were gritting their teeth and stifling noises of pain.

Consider a space marine from Warhammer 40k's Deathwatch. (I know a lot of y'all whump friends prefer twinks to these inhuman genefreak monsters that I love, but imagine the marines as all drawn by the great Vezimira if that makes you see the vision.) The only way you can canonically get veterans from radically different chapters to work together seamlessly is to drive them to the point of collapse.

Space marines do not tire out easily, so we're talking days to weeks of training in armor without a pause, living off the recycling systems. By the time they're finally allowed to pause they practically have to carry each other back to quarters. A Salamander might have to literally carry an Ultramarine (Guilliman is a less physical guy as Primarchs go) or an OG Blood Angel (depending on where they are in their Red Thirst progression; they probably can't stop and slurp down a Serf Capri Sun during DW training). A Templar helps haul a literally unconscious Blackshield who's some kind of comparatively smaller purple-eyed albino from who knows what ancient chapter. He hates that, hates this weakness, but he will not shame his own chapter by letting the squad fail.

So at some point all of that is over, the tech-priests have taken the armor away to be serviced, and everyone has been slapped back to consciousness and been given a good talking to by the Templar veteran and a more surreptitious word of encouragement by the old Salamander. They all stumble through scrubbing down with scouring powder in the showers, and the Salamander, every scar of achievement twinging, can finally flop facedown onto the slab in his quarters. Maybe his branding priest or priestess is there, a trusted grandchild of a niece or nephew twice removed, not the first of his extended family to perform the office and already growing old in his service. He can hear them bustling around murmuring orders to the serfs. When the first pour of hot oil hits his back a heavy muscle twitches, startling the younger ones, but with a little encouragement they roll up their sleeves and dive in. Massaging ceremonial oil into an Astartes is no easy task, but now it is made easier by the limp exhaustion of the Son of Vulkan's muscles. At first they can see sinews pop out in his jaw and temple against the pain, because they've never had an unkind word from Milord the Astartes, and he's not about to start now. But as they go along his face slowly relaxes. The middle back between the shoulders proves a bit stubborn, and at a nod from the elderly branding priest, a bigger and younger serf climbs up to kneel on the Salamander's back so he can pound on it with his two fists bunched together. They all see the sigh of relief from the triple lungs, raising and lowering the young man in place.

On his night-black skin with its network of little red cracks, the older of the whorls of paler scarring are hard to read, faded with time. They'll have to be renewed one of these days, while the priest remembers what they were. But for now the space marine is at rest, breathing easier as a dozen little weights knead at his sore body.

The ones who serve the Templar veteran are probably going to need mallets, and if he thinks any one of them is trying to spare him he'll bat them across the room. They'll die, or they'll learn. The Blood Angel's serfs are pale and listless, and at least one definitely won't survive the night, but at least he'll be unfailingly gentle and courteous with the survivors. The son of Guilliman's serfs run like a well-oiled machine. He might mumble a mild reprimand if he notices anything isn't precisely according to routine, but he's not a harsh man, only a very meticulous one.

The Blackshield has no one who is particularly his servant. They serve the Deathwatch. They handle him carefully enough, aware of how temperamental some Astartes are, but not with any affection or reverence. He wouldn't be a Blackshield, chapterless, brotherless, if he was not dishonored in some way. In the end, there will be a pile of serfs sleeping on rugs around the base of the Salamander's slab. The Blackshield will be alone.

[shanksbaby]

Shunsui Kyoraku x reader - Never enough pt1

warning: just some angs + events concern pre-tbyw

i will write the part 2 soon dw!!

ever since you were young, you had a crush on Captain Kyoraku, you admired him from afar: he was the strongest among the captains (excluding old Yamamoto), but he was so kind and humble. In fact, it is because of him that you have chosen to become a shinigami by enrolling in the academy.

luck would have it that you were in the same regiment as your beloved Captain. You thought it was also a way to get closer to him, to admire him more closely. Then you collided with reality …

not only did he seem not to care too much about you (but after all, were you just a sub that you expected?) but you were constantly watching him filter through with other women. and in the meantime, your love for him grew. How ironic, right?

you had also tried to approach him sometimes but nothing, every time you made yourself red as a tomato and apologized as you left. You couldn't look him in the eye. And you hated yourself so much: did you want to get close to him and then you couldn't even say a word? you felt so pathetic.

but one day, you caught him making out with another woman, a subordinate of Captain Muruguma. at the sight of your captain giving someone else a passionate kiss, your chest started to ache, excruciating pain; as tears flowed from your eyes.

suddenly his gaze falls on you, a grainy look - because were you watching him make out or because were you crying? you did not know -.after seconds of tranche, you ran away, trying to get away as much as possible. How did you explain this to Captain Kyoraku now? He was easy-going sure but maybe he could get angry because you had peeked, not to mention that you cried like a baby.

the next day, with the few shreds of dignity you had left, you went to work anyway, aware of the fact that you would probably meet with your captain. And in fact…

" Captain! " you say surprise as soon as you meet his gaze and then make a half bow, keeping your head down as a sign of respect. "I'm sorry about what happened. please forgive me "suddenly these words came out of your mouth. you still remained with your head down for fear of meeting his gaze.

" Y\N- chan "he replies with a smile, and hearing your name on his lips sends you into fribillation "It's all good, don't worry".

his words relieved you slightly, knowing he wasn't angry comforted you and the fact that he didn't mention your tears meant he probably didn't notice, right? You raise your head and murmur a thank you. He just smiles at you and pulls the big hat over his head before turning around.

and that's where you notice the same girl from yesterday, she was waiting for him … So it wasn't just a flirt? And why do you keep getting this feeling of jealousy? What right do you have?

you stood for a few seconds watching them hold hands, she put her head on his body, then you turned around to continue doing your work. You had to search an area for very powerful Hollows.

needless to say you were distracted, you kept thinking about that woman and shunsui, them together, and here is that feeling appearing again. You were wondering while you were looking around what she had more than you: probably everything, she was beautiful, tall, she had a gorgeous smile and her manner seemed so kind and elegant ..

and just as you thought back to your flaws and that woman's strengths, a Hollow appears from behind, attacks you quickly and unfortunately manages to hit you. From the collision with him you are injured in a leg and an arm.

'shit' you think.both arms and legs hurt, and you can't move properly while the hollow seemed so fast, so try to get away and cast some spells, instead of using your sword. unfortunately you weren't an expert, so the damage the hollow took was minimal.

you thought you were going to die, when suddenly your beloved Captain Shunsui arrives on the scene: immediately killing the Hollow.

"Y \ N, are you okay?"he then asks you coming up against you, you are about to murmur something but the injuries suffered are excessive and then you faint in his arms.

[beardedmrbean]

How do fake stories created with artificial intelligence (AI) work? What narratives do they present? And how dangerous are they?

DW fact checkers answer the most critical questions about the role of AI in the conflict between Israel and Hamas in Gaza.

1) How do AI-generated image fakes work?

AI is everywhere these days — even in wars. Artificial intelligence applications have greatly improved this year, and almost anyone can now use standard AI generators to create images that look real, at least at first glance.

Users must "feed" tools such as Midjourney or Dall-E with prompts, including specifications and information, to do this. The tools then convert the written prompts into images. 

Some create more artistic illustrations, while others create photorealistic images. The generation process is based on what is known as machine learning. 

For example, if generators are asked to show a 70-year-old man riding a bicycle, they search their database to pair the terms with images. 

Based on the information available, the AI generators create the image of the older cyclist. Thanks to more and more input and technical updates, the tools have improved vastly and are constantly learning.

All this applies to images related to the Middle East conflict. 

Here, too, people use such tools to create more or less realistic scenes that, according to our observations, are often intended to capture emotional moments to spread certain narratives. But more on that later.

In a conflict where "emotions are very, very high," says AI expert Hany Farid, disinformation, including its spread through AI images, works exceptionally well. 

Hardened fronts are the perfect breeding ground for creating and disseminating fake content and intensifying emotions, Farid, a professor of digital forensics at the University of California at Berkeley, tells DW.

2) How many AI images of the Israel-Hamas war are in circulation? 

Images and videos created with the help of artificial intelligence have already added to disinformation related to the war in Ukraine — and continue to do so. 

As AI tools have developed rapidly since Russia's 2022 invasion of Ukraine, many observers expected it to play an even greater role in the Israel-Hamas war. However, according to experts, the great flood of AI images has failed to materialize thus far.

"In the conflict between Israel and Hamas and related disinformation, we are not seeing a massive use of AI-generated images," says Tomasso Canetta from the European Digital Media Observatory. 

"There are some examples, but it's not much if we compare it to the amount of disinformation that is actually old images and old videos that are now reshared in a misleading way," he adds.

However, this does not mean the technology isn't a factor. Farid explains that he does not consider the number of AI fakes to be the relevant factor.

"You can have two images that go super viral, and hundreds of millions of people see it. It can have a huge impact," he says. 

"So it doesn't have to be a volume game, but I think the real issue we are seeing is just the pollution of the information ecosystem."

3) What narratives do the AI fakes serve in the Israel-Hamas war?

The AI images circulating on social media networks can usually trigger strong emotions. 

Canetta identifies two main categories. One refers to images that focus on the suffering of the civilian population and arouse sympathy for the people shown. The other is AI fakes that exaggerate support for either Israel, Hamas or the Palestinians and appeal to patriotic feelings.

2) How many AI images of the Israel-Hamas war are in circulation? 

Images and videos created with the help of artificial intelligence have already added to disinformation related to the war in Ukraine — and continue to do so. 

As AI tools have developed rapidly since Russia's 2022 invasion of Ukraine, many observers expected it to play an even greater role in the Israel-Hamas war. However, according to experts, the great flood of AI images has failed to materialize thus far.

"In the conflict between Israel and Hamas and related disinformation, we are not seeing a massive use of AI-generated images," says Tomasso Canetta from the European Digital Media Observatory. 

"There are some examples, but it's not much if we compare it to the amount of disinformation that is actually old images and old videos that are now reshared in a misleading way," he adds.

However, this does not mean the technology isn't a factor. Farid explains that he does not consider the number of AI fakes to be the relevant factor.

"You can have two images that go super viral, and hundreds of millions of people see it. It can have a huge impact," he says. 

"So it doesn't have to be a volume game, but I think the real issue we are seeing is just the pollution of the information ecosystem."

3) What narratives do the AI fakes serve in the Israel-Hamas war?

The AI images circulating on social media networks can usually trigger strong emotions. 

Canetta identifies two main categories. One refers to images that focus on the suffering of the civilian population and arouse sympathy for the people shown. The other is AI fakes that exaggerate support for either Israel, Hamas or the Palestinians and appeal to patriotic feelings.

2) How many AI images of the Israel-Hamas war are in circulation? 

Images and videos created with the help of artificial intelligence have already added to disinformation related to the war in Ukraine — and continue to do so. 

As AI tools have developed rapidly since Russia's 2022 invasion of Ukraine, many observers expected it to play an even greater role in the Israel-Hamas war. However, according to experts, the great flood of AI images has failed to materialize thus far.

"In the conflict between Israel and Hamas and related disinformation, we are not seeing a massive use of AI-generated images," says Tomasso Canetta from the European Digital Media Observatory. 

"There are some examples, but it's not much if we compare it to the amount of disinformation that is actually old images and old videos that are now reshared in a misleading way," he adds.

However, this does not mean the technology isn't a factor. Farid explains that he does not consider the number of AI fakes to be the relevant factor.

"You can have two images that go super viral, and hundreds of millions of people see it. It can have a huge impact," he says. 

"So it doesn't have to be a volume game, but I think the real issue we are seeing is just the pollution of the information ecosystem."

3) What narratives do the AI fakes serve in the Israel-Hamas war?

The AI images circulating on social media networks can usually trigger strong emotions. 

Canetta identifies two main categories. One refers to images that focus on the suffering of the civilian population and arouse sympathy for the people shown. The other is AI fakes that exaggerate support for either Israel, Hamas or the Palestinians and appeal to patriotic feelings.

The first category includes, for example, the picture above of a father with his five children in front of a pile of rubble. It was shared many times on X

(formerly Twitter) and Instagram and seen hundreds of thousands of times in connection with Israel's bombardment of the Gaza Strip. 

In the meantime, the image has been marked with a community notice, at least on X, that it is fake. It can be recognized as such by various errors and inconsistencies that are typical for AI images.

The man's right shoulder, for instance, is disproportionately high. The two limbs emerging from underneath are also strange — as if they were growing from his sweater. 

Also striking is how the hands of the two boys who have wrapped their arms around their father's neck merge. And there are too many or too few fingers and toes in several of the hands and feet in the picture.

Similar anomalies can also be seen in the following AI fake that went viral on X, which purportedly shows a Palestinian family eating together in the rubble, evoking sympathy for Palestinian civilians.

The picture below, which shows soldiers waving Israeli flags as they walk through a settlement full of bombed-out houses, falls into the second category, which is designed to spark feelings of patriotism.

The accounts that share the image on Instagram and X appear to be primarily pro-Israeli and welcome the events depicted. DW also found the picture as an article image in a Bulgarian online newspaper, which did not recognize or label it as AI-generated.

What looks fake here is the way the Israeli flags are waving. The street in the middle also appears too clean, while the rubble looks very uniform. The destroyed buildings also look like twins, standing at pretty regular intervals. 

All in all, the visual impression is too "clean" to appear realistic. This kind of flawlessness, which makes images look like they have been painted, is also typical for AI.

4) Where do such AI images come from?

Private accounts on social media distribute most images created with the help of artificial intelligence. They are posted by both authentic and obviously fake profiles. 

However, AI-generated images can also be used in journalistic products. Whether and in which cases this can be useful or sensible is currently being discussed at many media companies.

The software company Adobe caused a stir when it added AI-generated images to its range of stock photos at the end of 2022. These are labeled accordingly in the database.

Adobe now also offers AI images of the Middle East war for sale

— for example of explosions, people protesting or clouds of smoke behind the Al-Aqsa Mosque. 

Critics find this highly questionable, and some online sites and media have continued to use the images without labeling them as AI-generated. The image above, for example, appears on the site "Newsbreak" without any indication that it was computer-generated. DW found this out with the help of a reverse image search.Even the European Parliamentary Research Service, the European Parliament's scientific service, illustrated an online text on the Middle East conflict with one of the fakes from the Adobe database

 — again without labeling it as an AI-generated image.

Canetta from the European Digital Media Observatory is appealing to journalists and media professionals to be very careful when using AI images, advising against their use, especially when it comes to real events such as the war in Gaza.

The situation is different when the goal is to illustrate abstract topics such as future technologies.

5) How much damage do AI images cause?

The knowledge that AI content is circulating makes users feel insecure about everything they encounter online. 

UC Berkeley researcher Farid explains: "If we enter this world where it is possible to manipulate images, audio and video, everything is in question. So you're seeing real things being claimed as fake."

That is precisely what happened in the following case: an image allegedly showing the charred corpse of an Israeli baby was shared on X by Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and the conservative US commentator Ben Shapiro, among others. 

The controversial anti-Israeli influencer Jackson Hinkle then claimed that the image had been created using artificial intelligence. 

As alleged proof, Hinkle attached a screenshot of the AI detector "AI or not" to his post, which classified the image as AI-generated. 

Hinkle's claim on X was viewed more than 20 million times and led to heated discussions on the platform. 

In the end, many stated that the image was, in all likelihood, genuine and that Hinkle was, therefore, wrong. Farid also told DW that he could not find any discrepancies in the picture that would indicate an AI fake.

How can that be, you might ask? AI detectors, which can be used to check whether an image or text is possibly AI-generated, are still very error-prone. Depending on the image checked, they get it right or wrong and often only make decisions as likely probabilities — not with 100% certainty.

Therefore, they are at the most suitable as an additional tool for checking AI fakes, but definitely not as the only tool.

DW's fact-checking team could also not detect any clear signs of AI-based manipulation in the image, presumably showing a baby's corpse. 

Curiously, "AI or not" did not classify the image as AI-generated when we tried it out ourselves — and pointed out that the image quality was poor.

Another AI detector (Hive moderation) also concluded that the image was genuine.