#dunno why it did. i'm just not feeling it for reasons ?
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🖍️ My partner! I think I mentioned it in passing but it wasn't a serious enough conversation so I dunno if he remembers ;-;
❤️ I haven't thought about it but maybe Hayden from Fields of Mistria would be a really nice caregiver.
🩹 My head gets like...light. I get giggly and tend to talk "small". Sometimes words are hard but not always.
🧡 It isn't often, but it's pretty consistent to whenever I see my partner IRL and he uses a specific tone of voice or calls me nicknames like little one.
🍬 I didn't know it was a thing! Ooo I'd love recs!
💛 I don't really have a specific age (that I can tell??) maybe around kindergarten or first grade? I'm unsure.
🧸 I'm an only child and I regress.
💚 I heard over and over that I was an 'old soul'.
🧩 I would love a sippy cup! I'm unsure of if that's weird. But I sipped a drink a little out of s straw and have been obsessed with getting a sippy cup ever since.
💙 Not sure. I haven't had a chance to explore a lot. Maybe babycore? I'd have to do research!
🍭 I joined Tuesday! So like two days 🫣
💜 I'm not able to regress enough to have one but I think it would be Minecraft or just my "big" obsessions like MHA.
🍼 I think I'd like to make new memories. I haven't had the chance to purposefully do it yet but I think I would just want to make new memories.
🖤 Unsure? Had some friends a while back but I am unsure if I can count them because I don't know the label they used.
🪀 I tend to around my partner. Especially when I'm sleepy.
🪁 I think more traditional? Because the last time it happened I was watching Minecraft let's plays like I did when I was little and got immediately floaty lol
🎨 Paci! I like to chew on things and suck on things so I think I could benefit from one.
🍬 I am unsure of what that is.
🦋 Sometimes I am, but sometimes I think too hard about it and feel shame. And worry if I can be a successful adult with a career if I want to explore this part of me. Silly, I'm sure.
🧚🏼♀️ A way to relax. Life sucks, and I grew up too fast. I've recognized it's possible that may be the reason why I regress. I was always so mature. Even at the ripe age of six I was judging and annoyed at my classmates for just being kids. I feel like I didn't get to be one- at least not fully.
🧦 I'm too new to have any opinions! So far everyone seems really nice though!
🦇 You can do that!?
🌸 I don't have any particular headcanons.
🐈⬛ I'm probably the majority actually. (Unsure though)
🧃 Puppy!!
🐇 I only have one person I want and trust to- but I'm too nervous to ask them. I'm worried they'll find it weird.
🎀 I don't think I regress to a specific age. Or if I do I don't know what that age is.
🎮 I don't know. I daydream near 24/7 so it would probably be easy!
🌈 Werewolf! But the kind that just turns to human or wolf at will!
👾 When my partner calls me something like little one or coos at me because I did something cute according to him.
💭 Sitting on the floor and coloring while he sits on the couch. Having a sippy cup on standby of course.
🌙 Agere Ask Game!!! ⭐
🖍 Who is the first person you told/would tell about your headspace?
❤ If you had a fictional caregiver/little who would it be?
🩹 What do you experience when you regress? (i.e fuzzy feelings, motor skill or speech struggle, etc.)
🧡 How often do you regress or try to regress?
🍬 Do you read agere fanfiction and if so, about who?
💛 What school grade (if any) would you be in according to your headspace?
🧸 Are you an older sibling who regresses/caregives or a younger sibling who regresses/caregives?
💚 Were you considered an "old soul" growing up or were you more "childish"?
🧩 What was your first piece of agere gear or what would you want as your first?
💙 What's your regression/caregiving aesthetic? (kidcore, babycore, altcore, etc)
🍭 How long have you been apart of agere tumblr?
💜 What are you obsessed with right now in your headspace? (sanrio, sharks, bluey, etc)
🍼 Do you include your personal nostalgia in your regression/caregiving or are you creating new memories?
🖤 Have you met any other regressors/caregivers in real life?
🪀 Have you ever regressed in front of someone or has someone ever regressed around you?
🪁 Is your headspace affected more through traditional or alternative regression? (bottles & cartoons or horror & thrill)
🎨 What's a piece of agere gear that you really want to have/try?
🍬 Have you ever experienced vent regression?
🦋 Are you comfortable with your regression/headspace?
🧚♀️ What is age regression/caregiving to you?
🧦 What's something you like & don't like about the agere community?
🦇 Have you ever regressed in a dream?
🌸 Who do you headcanon as a regressor or caregiver? (fictional or real)
🐈⬛ Do you think you're represented enough in the agere community? (poc, boys, under 20/over 30 yrs)
🧃Which animal best represents your headspace?
🐇 Has it been or was it hard for you to find a little/caregiver?
🎀 Does your headspace match the gear you use/want? (i.e. regresses to 10 years but loves pacifiers)
🎮 Do you struggle to play pretend or are you super imaginative?
🌈 What mythical creature would you rather be? (Hybrid, Fairy, Dragon, etc)
👾 What's the quickest way to get you in your headspace?
💭 What's one thing you often daydream about doing with your little/caregiver?
#age regression#sfw agere#age regressor#agere#agere community#sfw littlespace#agere blog#i hope i did this right
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#jirachi#as i'm queuing this up. i'm sorta. realizing that deoxys has four forms. and i'm wondering what to do about that#like. do i just choose normal form and go with that?? or do i do every single form?? or do all the forms in one post?? or what#this isn't about jirachi. i like jirachi and i think those theories about how bidoof actually caused all of pmd sky are pretty funny#and like. also weirdly reasonable. but i dunno if jirachi is the type to be like a genie. where when you make a wish he's like#o0o0o0o but there's a caAaAaAaAtch………#i don't think. that's something jirachi does? so it's even funnier then bc it's like jirachi did that on TOTAL accident. but i find that#hard to believe. folks say it's like… he did that so that he could get bidoof some friends Naturally or whatever but i just don't feel like#he'd be the type. but maybe that's why he ends up in the expedition society later on. he felt so bad about ending the world just to help out#a rookie who wanted some friends that he dedicated himself to saving the world instead. which. is kinda sweet. and the whole reason i've#been he/him-ing him this whole time. bc that's what they do in psmd. where his boss battle theme is just a whole banger for no reason#anyway those are some fun theories. i have to figure out what to do for jirachi and also put some chicken in the slow cooker
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my therapist spent today's session making Faces at me about getting an ADHD diagnosis
which
I can honestly say I have never seriously considered the possibility of seeking an ADHD diagnosis but she might not be a billion miles off
I was describing how I get "fizzy bored" where I have no energy or ability to move and nothing holds my attention but I feel like my bones are trying to vibrate out of me with the desire to be Doing Things and she was like 🤔 and I got onto the fact that I often need to be doing 3-4 things at once to ease into focusing on one and she was like 🤨 and then I mentioned how I find it really difficult to start doing things but once I'm in it I'm super focused and she was like 😌 have you considered the possibility of an ADHD diagnosis?
and so I explained that I don't really see the point because even though, unlike EDS and autism, a diagnosis could suggest an actual treatment, I don't really feel like anything I've described is disabling me cause I have the tools to manage it now most of the time and I feel Fizzy Bored WAY less often these days. and she was like 🤨
and I was like yeah to be fair actually I did use to think that about chronic pain, trauma and having shit eyesight and doing something about them did really change my experience. and she was like 😌 and I was like and actually now we mention it the fact that I sometimes for NO REASON AT ALL simply put off doing things even though they would be really easy to do and I want to do them for LITERAL YEARS is maybe. A thing that it might be nice to change if I could. And she was like 🤔 and I was like OH FUCK I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GENUINELY CONSIDER THIS POSSIBILITY AREN'T I?
anyway after talking a mile a minute and overrunning by 15 minutes I then got a quarter of a mile away on foot and realised I'd left my glasses on her table. she opened the door I went HEY SPEAKING OF ADHD
#red said#tbf that last bit is only funny jokes. i mean i did do that but that is not one of the marks in the ADHD??? column#i am not a habitual leaver behind of things i generally do a full check#but also here's the issue I'm having#(apart from the fact that the tiktokification of ADHD has really muddied the waters on what is or isn't a likely indicator)#the issue is i am REALLY GOOD at coping mechanisms and workarounds. like SO GOOD. so i am goofy but I'm legit not scatterbrained#and i am. to quote a past manager. 'frighteningly efficient'.#but there is no doubt that i have legit issues with time blindness#thought permanence. like if i do not write something down in a place where i can see it regularly i will forget it.#and i WILL stop seeing it if it doesn't change enough or if i have to go out of my way to look at it#and yeah like the whole inertia and energy disregulation stuff is. it's not nothing.#and i am SO MAD that she might have a point and tbh i don't even know why I'm that mad about it#other than that having diagnoses of CPTSD autism and adhd would feel like the Internet Diagnostics Starterpack i guess. feels basic.#i dunno man it's dumb brain stuff it's not rational! that's a dumb reason to reject an idea even if it was a legit complaint which it is no#also i have been really giddy and hyper this evening and idk if that's bc I've had some manner of breakthrough thing or I'm just suggestible
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sigh someone on twitter extolled the virtues of furiosa and said it was better than fury road. I just saw furiosa. they are wrong.
#the brilliant thing about MMFD was how it needed no backstory.#it required no explanation of who these people were or why they wanted what they wanted#that story gripped you by the throat and pulled you along for the ride and by god you took it#bleh. also I didn't really care for the numbered parts of the story that communicated the passage of time#I guess that's where the “saga” came in but I do think one of my favorite parts of MMFD was that...#it was a contained storyline! there were clearly so many other parts/facets of that world we didn't see#but we didn't need to see them becasue that wasnt the story that film was telling#and I feel like ... I dunno. MMFD was perfect. furiosa was not perfect. furiosa was not needed?#we already knew enough from MMFD about why furiosa had wound up as an imperator#seeing the full story I genuinely don't feel like I gained anything new about her and her character#everything we watch her become (or even begin as) in furiosa... all of it is apparent in MMFD#idk this movie felt extraneous. bummer!#good news is i was really worried about ATJ playing furiosa but she did fine. i have no complaints about her!#anyways anyone who wants to discuss come hit me up in the comments or reblogs or askbox whatever#I wish to dig into this lol#man that tweet got my hopes up. but i did not have the reaction to this that i wanted to have#when i saw MMFD in theaters it was a religious experience. that movie rewired my brain. I'd never seen a female action star like furiosa#all furiosa did was make me want to rewatch MMFR#also jesus christ I just realized I'd been typing MMFD for some reason. lol forgive me I'm on my phone sitting in the theater parking lot#pretend I typed MMFR that whole time
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I don't think that "we were interested in those characters (ie [my guess] Caitlyn, Jinx, Warwick, Viktor)" implies "we don't think Vi is interesting".
My suspicion is more that they saw it "Vi got her turn and now we also want to do those other characters".
Take Silco for example. My guess is that they enjoyed writing him, but they felt that his story came to a natural and so they killed him and didn't feature him a ton in season 2. They had gotten what they wanted out of him. Silco fans clearly felt very differently. But in the end, it is their call to make.
Writers will always make decisions about who gets screentime and hero moments and badass lines. Them making Vi the character with the most focus in season 1 in itself is a favoritism choice because from an IP point of view, all these charactres are pre-existing and there is no practical reason to make Vi the point of view character of season 1 when in game is is equal to Caitlyn and to Ekko and to Viktor and to Bliktzcrank and to Camille and to 100 characters that didn't make it into the show.
They chose her because they like her (favoritism) and because they had potential. But they also like other charactres and see potential in other stories.
. If Vi is not interesting for you to explain to us more then why did you make us attached to her?
I find that an approach I can't get behind. The same logic could be used by the Silco fans to argue "you made us love Silco now you HAVE to make season 2 completely about him". What if fans have decided they have attached to Heimerdinger or to I dunno, the SevikaxSalo pairing and now the writers OWE them. (also worth nothing, it seems season 2 was written in 2019? before Arcane ever aired to the general public)
In the end to some extent it is normal that the writers want to make you care about all the characters, but they will make calls about what to focus on.
Don't get me wrong, I DEEPLY dislike many of their decisions. I for example DEEPLY think that doing the whole Viktor glorious evolution stuff and making it the main threat of Act 3 was a strategic mistake.
But at the same time, reading/listening to the interviews I understand that it's a story he really wanted to tell and it's one the artists put tons of creative effort in and some fans are into it and others (like me) aren't.
In the end, they get to have artistic freedom. (and I'm glad that he's at least smart enough to want to step away and have the next stories handled by other people)
they made her a dumbass character who only understands fighting,
That's not the vibe I got from season 2. I see a lot of traces of Vi having good instincts about people (ie following Singed, Remi's people). Act 1 seemed to be about the moral instincts vis a vis Cait.
Amanda Overton did an interview from which I got "We wanted to explore who Vi is if you take everything away from her/we see Vi's fundamental trait as being a protector and we wanted to explore who she is if she no longer has anybody to protect". To which I say ... okay... but it feels like the answer you came up with is something like "a shellshocked self destructive traumatized husk"?
I genuinely don't think that it's that much of a problem that they made Vi so heavily about physical fighting... it's that they did that and THEN made her fighting pretty useless? I wrote a lenthy analysis of the finale battle and I genuinely think that if Vi had gotten to be more heroic and successful, even just in a pure physical sense we would have walked away feeling a lot better about Vi. At least superficial satisfaction for "she's a figther and being a fighter is important and valuable and essential to this world".
Caitlyn and Ekko do heroic moves in the battle because of their smarts and their iron hard determination. Jinx and Jayce do heroic moves by reaching out to the baddie and doing heroic sacrifice. And what does Vi do?
I think it's one thing that let's say Vi fans wanted deep hurt-comfort exploration of Vi's trauma. I would say that was always unlikely to happen (I feel the same way when I see people the bemoan that the show wasn't about Zaun crushing Piltover in the dirt of Mel fans saying they wish the show had been only about schemes and politics and not action fighting). But imo they failed Vi even within the story they gave her.
I genuinely think Vi's story would have "rolled off the tongue" better if she had been down there with Caitlyn fighting back to back against Ambessa instead of Mel. Or if it had been her instead of Ekko smashing Viktor's mask.
Of it the show ended up on Vi finding the evidence that Jinx might still alive and not Caitlyn. (signalling = oh, Vi smart)
Or if the show had ended on episode 8. If it would have felt that the conclusion of her story is "okay, if you strip her of everthing, then Vi will choose life, symbolized by her having sex with Caitlyn". But instead we have:
1.) a whole episode where Vi does barely anything except watch in horror as other people die (after we already had that sort of in the Act 2 finale too)
2.) the looming idea that Jinx might be alive and okay ... so how would Vi feel about that? It leaves her story feeling unfinished in a particularly unsatifying way
(I compare that to Ekko for example, Ekko is strictly speaking in the same situation where if Jinx faked her death he doesn't know and his ending is very mornful and bittersweet-to-bitter. But I think it works better because his theme that arc was the whole "leaping forward while leaving something behind", so I personally walk away with a slighty better feeling for Ekko, like he would understand. But of course he also got "wins". He smashes Viktor's mask. He talks Jinx out of suicide. He is just a supporting character (outside of maybe episode 7), but you can still feel good about his character).
Vi was not devoid of good character moments. Her standing up to Cait at the end of Act 1 was an important moment. Her trusting Jinx and about Vanderwick was an important moment. The problem is that Act 3 doesn't manage to tie to together in a way that is satisfying.
"Dirt under your nails" isn't without merit. I guess it's supposed to signal to us, that no matter what you take away from Vi (original family, Jinx, Vanderwick) she will keep on fighting? But it just feels kind of meh, especially with how ill fitting she was in the big action finale.
I'm afraid the same writers will be writing the next shows.
They won't. For one supposedly the Noxus show has been in the works for a year while Arcane was still being finished. And Christian Linke had talked explicitly about how he wanted to find new people to tell those other stories. That they think of the new shows as representing the regions and him and Alex were the right people for Piltover and Zaun but they need to find somebody else for Noxus for example.
I wouldn't rule out that he might do another show (he has mentioned somewhere that he would like to maybe do more with the more whimsical parts of the IP, but to be honest, other parts of statement sound like they were pretty exhausted [and that was before the criticism over the finale was in] )
My guess is the Noxus thing will have a different creative team with their own priorities. (that said this approach with a multi character focus might by a likely side effect of League and of how League is structured).
For what it's worth, I don't think you and I ware even that much in disagreement about the flaws of season 2. i just don't think that switching Vi to supporting was necessary impossible to pull off. I think there's plenty of ways that could have been done and still have left her with a story that makes the fans feel reasonably good about it.
(for what it's worth, I think Warwick's story was also extremely messy and similarly jumbled as Vi's even thought that was one of the new stories they wanted to tell. Or the Commander Caitlyn story was introduced with so much pomp in Act 1, I wouldn't say it was completely fumbled [it ends with Caitlyn's badass sacrifice of her eye], but I would argue it still wasn't as emotionally resonant as it could have been, this is my read of Jinx's ending btw and why I think it is meant to be uplifting by the writers [mileage may vary])
Vi season 2
Saying this about Vi, considering the fact that fundamentally the very basis of the show is about the relationship between her and Jinx is INSANE. The description for the show literally tells the audience it’s a story about two sisters and because the writers grew uninterested with one of them, they sidelined her.
I’m happy she got her happy ending, and i do believe that her writing remained consistent, my biggest issue with Vi this season was that she did feel sidelined, THAT was very obvious. I love her as a character outside of her relationship with Jinx and Caitlyn, however we didn’t get to see that this season.
Regardless if the ending stayed the same, Jinx and Vi barely interacting in the last act felt off. It’s really disappointing to see that one of the shows main and most important characters get sidelined in favour of others
anyway yeah there’s my rant bc seeing this shit on twitter has been pissing me off
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Head in my hands wondering if I'll have to cut the entire Chume Labs section out because it's more suited to being a different chapter, but also knowing the next chapter can't have it either so I might have to cut it from this fic entirely aaaAAAAAAAAAA
#i talk#fic talk#I was thinking I could stay up a while and try to finish this chapter so I could maybe post it tomorrow#but this is really eating me up#On the one hand... a solely Fuga chapter would be great#on the other hand... this chapter is supposed to show their growth from Fuga to the Chume Labs era#(even if it IS 99% about Fuga)#because that's what the chapter's theme is about#Agh#I'll keep chipping away at things regardless#Anyways for folks who like numbers#so far of everything I've already written / edited I have 5588 words#If I solely make this a Fuga chapter there are 1135 words left in my draft#meaning the final total of the chapter will be around 7000 words more or less since I tend to add a lot more stuff when I'm editing#I've got 1870 words (approximately) written for the Chume Labs section#which means if I do the entire Fuga + Chume Labs part this chapter will probably be just under 10000 words#@ __________ @#Maybe I should split this chapter up and make the Chume Labs part an interlude#Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm#Or maybe I'll throw it in Chapter 4 after all. Hell I dunno#We'll see how I feel once I finish editing all the Fuga stuff#I'm pretty happy with the Fuga stuff though but oh boy did it kill me#I think the reason I'm waffling about the Chume Labs bit is because technically it wasn't supposed to be included in this chapter#I had the idea two (?) ish weeks ago and went ''Wait that's a great idea to add''#which is how 99% of my writing goes and is one of the reasons why everything takes so long lol#But anyways. Yeah it's looking like no chapter update today (or I guess tomorrow depending on your timezone)#Sorry guys!#But it's almost done
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want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#actually i dont mean bald i just mean all one guard length#but hhhhh maybe i'm in an awkard stage maybe not i just CANNOT live like this#middle part is frustrating because it's not perfect in the way it sits side part is frustrating because i look like a girl#i feel like i could go all in with the 4 and then sorta texture a bit with the 2 guard HOWEVER having used the 4 previously. i know#how short that is. it might not look good so i worry#the bright side is it would grow out a bit by the time of the parade but augh i hate this#i'm currently a tightly wound ball of rage sorry. i didn't eat much of anything 2day#tried to call the hospital to get help with the letter/consulation thing preceding top surgery and they were NOT OPEN so idk if they will#be open tomorrow or not. the passage of time has gotten very vague all of a sudden#iiiiiii do not think i am doing well. lol. idk why though! god forbid any of it have a reason#i almost wish i'd relapse just so i could like. eat food again#idk i don't think it would solve it but i feel in my heart it might make things easier#buuuut because relapse is Bad For Me i guess i have to avoid it. well i want to anyways.#one bad day would not a reset make but my previous day happened this year already so...#i dunno it's been so long that i feel like it's not valid or whatever cause it was at an age where i can say it was a 'phase'#.............. i dunno what to do with that information. anyways.#i mean so what if i went all in on it again anyways? i kinda miss it lol. it's not like i could do any serious harm??#(potential infections aside.)#i just want to be creative and i CANT because my stupid brain will NOT think of anything#and the majority of what i have concretely written of this was written... get this .... right when i was trying to stay clean at first#correlation does not equal causation ........ sighs#i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle because i WANT IT to be that bad again#i've never really regretted it & it's never really been because of anything#i just started because i was curious about why someone would do that. that's all#i dont think i've EVER had any of the mental distress i see people in when theyre in these spaces#in one journal entry i made this big deal about wanting to kill myself but *i didn't want to*. i never did.#like sorry old me but it is REALLY hard to believe i've ever been depressed depressed#i just want things to be better and they never are :/ this should be everything i wanted and its just ... not#i'm not really sure how to ....... oh tag limit ok hold on
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daily "i wanna get back into cosplay but i'm gonna look so bad and no one will recognize who i'm supposed to be and it's gonna fit all awkward so what's the point" time
#like excuse me for the internalized fatphobia i'm gonna deliver here#but. as nice as it is to see ppl say anyone can cosplay#if you're fat you WILL be treated differently. both in cons and online#unless your cosplay is 100% perfect and accurate and sits perfectly on you. and the character is already not too skinny#speaking from my own experience and from seeing fellow fat cosplayers in the past#bestie said we can do casual cosplay aka characters in regular clothes that they might wear#but it is. very detached from reality. this isn't really smth i can do and actually call cosplay. it's just putting on a wig#which skinny ppl can get away with but not us#i was in casts where i put a lot of effort into my costume and pics etc and barely anyone recognized it#while others in the cast did this casual cosplay sort of thing and ppl still got them. bc well they're shaped like the character ig#it's very disheartening and one of the reasons i stopped doing it really#i loved doing it but after having other bad experiences in events too it felt like the price and time aren't justified#and it always felt pointless to put in more effort when ik i won't look good in it anyway#or at least. won't look anything like the character no matter how hard i try 🥲#but now that i'm into smth with cool designs that makes me wanna get back into it#and now that i actually started planning stuff and checked prices etc#i'm once again sad abt it. which is why i'm having second thoughts. bc is it worth it#i dunno. sorry for the ramble. hope the generalization isn't hurtful i'm just giving my own view and feelings on the matter#if you're a fat cosplayer i hope no one is ever mean to you about it ever and i hope you keep doing it
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Vent
#if there's anyone I vent to about emotional sex problems pls hmu#I keep trying to work on it with my therapist#but it's hard to say stuff#I just need to talk to someone pls#I feel like such a loser but I feel like I'm never actually gonna be touched and it's scaring and depressing me#whenever I try to get into a lee headspace my body gets a literal cold chill feeling of 'thatll never be you'#and it hurts my chest#I know it's so lame I hate how it sounds and I hate me#but ever since I can remember all I've ever wanted was to be touched n tickled by safe people who love me#and the deep rooted reason why I'm sucidial is because I feel like it's never gonna happen and its painful living this way#I can't be 40 and untouched I just can't do it#but I don't have the body or personality or spirit that people wanna touch#I dunno this is so stupid but im so sad#I had a great night with my friend but the moment im done I just get this#this cold sickening feeling that im never gonna get tickled#I know that's so fucking stupid but it's all I want it's the only thing that's gonna make me happy#my therapist keeps asking me what I want and all I want is that and I feel pathetic saying it#but fuck I wanna be IN somebody's arms#I hope my friend still had a good time I did too#my brain is just stupid n ruins everything#I saw this super cute video of this girl getting tickled and I was imagining myself#but- I dunno how to explain it- this cold sick scared sucidial feeling hits me in the chest and stomach#telling me that it's extremely unlikely that anyone would wanna touch me like that#it's this unmovable thing that won't go away no matter how much hope people try to give me#I hate how simple and shallow this is but all I want is to be tickled#God I'm crying so hard why do I suck so much as a human being I don't wanna be this way
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man. time sure does fly huh.
#балаболим#i'm scheduling this post for morning cause of post limit. also because i don't want attention atm#...odd realising that it's gonna be my bday again soon. mad world. all bdays seem fake as of late. especially mine.#dunno.#maybe i'm still a bit detached from everything because of stupid reasons (<- thought that had cancer. does not. learned today)#(i was terrified of that for a month and all for nothing. it did kinda put some things in an interesting perspective though)#(like how truly little control i have over life. so. maybe i should do some things more often? why not be annoying? when else?)#wanted to write that i might not tell you the date but i know damn well that i scheduled some posts a year ago with one game day)#lol)#hm. i could swear it was just midnight and now it's 1am. time flies. i don't know what i want to convey with this post. some feeling ig#don't think it matters much.#i guess what i should say is that i'm alright. my health turned out to be at least moderate (no cancer yet) today#and despite a rather. vapid mood as of late. i am alright.#i hope you are as well.
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took me until the full version to warm up to the song, but hell yeah, kitty slaps so hard !
#dunno why it did. i'm just not feeling it for reasons ?#also the number of times i looped kanade's rap part to hear what she's saying and if she's singing '25 o'clock'#only to realize that she's singing 'AM 1 o'clock' lmao
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So the Mech AU is something and it's captured me too.
Set sometime after Prowl discovers Jazz is a pilot but before they go to Earth
———————————————————————
"Do they all look the same?"
Sat in a makeshift chair made from a tarp thrown over a spare tire, Jazz was in the middle of refueling from a small plastic baggie when Prowl broadly gestured to the inanimate body of his mech.
"The mechs? Naw, at least not the ones that last. I've had mine long enough that it's gotten all sorts of unique design changes and upgrades. There's no other mech that looks or moves just like mine."
The reassurance that Jazz's mech form was an individual creation was pleasing for some reason. Perhaps Prowl didn't like the idea of a dozen identical blank visors, the body of his friend replicated and filled with someone else.
"There's like. three or four classes of mech I think?" Jazz continued unaware of Prowl's secret anxiety.
"There's Rescue Class, those are the smallest, and they actually aren't built for fighting but for digging through rubble and cleaning up chunks of alien. Plus, sometimes those tentacle freaks have parasites that drop off when they die so the R-class kill 'em before they can become an invasive species."
"I thought you said they weren't designed for combat?"
Jazz finishes their fuel and shrugs.
"Its a war. Nobody gets out of fighting completely. Before I left I heard they were sticking a medic into- into fuckin' Vortex."
There were, many questions Prowl had concerning that last sentence. How desperate were the humans to be making their caregivers into soldiers? Why was this Vortex so infamous?
Why did Jazz sound angry at first, but by the time he got to saying "Vortex" the name came out as a rush of breath rather than a proper word?
What stopped him from pressing further on the topic was how Jazz seemed to shrink. And sink.
And stare at nothing at all.
It was so nauseatingly not Jazz that Prowl nudged the tire a bit and guided the conversation back to familiar territory.
"So what class are you?" Prowl said, while crossing his arms on the table and resting his chin on them. It was, very off model posture for the Praxian, but without the ability to pick up EM fields, exaggerated body language seemed to be the best way to get through to his human.
On a hunch, Prowl lightly waved his door-wings as well. Jazz smiled at them, and at him and Prowl preened with a modest smile back.
"I happen, to-just-so-be-the-Top-of-my-class-a-thank-you-veeery-much!" Jazz said popping each syllable like a song, resting his chin on his knuckles to match Prowls gaze.
"In terms of mech?" He nodded in its direction.
"I'm Striker Class baby, we're the fastest, the most agile and in my personal opinion the the most effective fighters in the whole program."
"And you do not personally feel as though you are an outlier bringing up the average?"
Mouth agape in mock shock, Jazz placed a hand over his spark- Flesh? Flesh-spark? Prowl deleted the line of thought and focused on the performance.
“I assure you Prowler, there are plenty of other Striker class pilots out there that do good for our name. I mean, there’s Blur for one thing. The guys basically the poster child of the whole program. Ridiculously fast mech. There’s also Hot Rod. His mech had the funny little quirk of CONSTANTLY CATCHING ON FIRE, buuut he turned it from a bug into a feature and now that’s just his thing.”
“Just his thing?!”
“Yup.”
“Being on fire?”
Jazz sat up straighter and pointed a finger at Prowl, “Look. I don’t know the full story and I shouldn’t be the one to tell it either, but trust me when I tell you this guy earned it.”
Leaning back, Prowl processed the new layers of insanity humans would apparently subject themselves to before filing it under “Bizarre conversations with Jazz” in his processor and carrying on.
“So what’s your special quality?”
“Me? I’m freakishly good at syncing up with my mech. Like, Blur is faster, but I’m smoother. Like, like that really is me. It just, I dunno, feels right. Fits me.”
Jazz looked over to his mech for a long time. Frowning at the fuel packet in his hands and solemnly crushing it into a ball.
“In terms of mech?” Jazz looked looked over to Prowl, smile returning with ease.
“I think I might be the only one that’s built for the stars.”
Their conversation continued into the evening like a leisurely dance. Discussing Pool Time, the war, cultural differences , the quintessons, their homes, what remained of them, and all the people they know and once knew.
Prowl never brought up Vortex again, though perhaps he should have.
__________________________________________
"What," Prowl choked out, his voice more static than sound. "Is that?"
The sky was green. The quintessions were in chunks. A mech, matte black with a blank visor, caaaarved into the body of the last living invader. A blade that massive was too big to keep a clean cutting edge, so the mech made up for the lack of delicacy with brute force.
It. It wasn't killing the damn thing. It was vivisecting the aliens spinal column from its body, each rib snapping off with a supersonic POP that shook Ratchets hangar and barely carried over the fucking awful sound of the thing screaming in terror.
Prowl would have never thought a Quintession could be a Victim before that moment.
Spine and brain case finally extracted, the mech lifted its prize to its opening vi- mouth.
That is its mouth. It's head was the size of his entire chassis. Inside, a stranger. Over bright eyes, straining and shaking against restraints within to get a better look at what was being held up to him. The mech moved without any input, tilting its helm back and cracking the skull to fill its open maw with cerebral fluid.
A funnel cloud touched down in the distance.
"That.? Jazz said, leaning against Prowls good side. “Is Vortex.”
TH A T. IS VORTEX
Man……I think Cybertronians would consider themselves big and scary compared to primitive earth life. And then meet Vortex. And then see Vortex in their nightmares for the next five million business years
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❝late-bloomer❞
plot: you've never been kissed before. on a completely unrelated note, what if your best friend offered to be your first? pairing: tasm!peter parker x gn!reader. cw: post-tasm 2, gwen stacy mention, angst, self-deprecating thoughts about being undesirable and insecurity in love, best friends to wouldn't you like to know, eventual fluff, attempts at andrew garfield accurate rambling, he definitely talks you through it I mean who said that. words: 4.3k.
a/n: entirely self-indulgent because I wrote this after crying over being a late-bloomer for an hour ahahaha
Peter is reading something for research when you suck in a breath and finally ask, "What was your first kiss like?"
You hear his voice die in his throat. The small whispering of test results and calculations fall short, but you don't dare to look back. You're hunched forward so he won't see the way your eyes burn and brim with tears unshed because if he did, he'd ask about it and then you'd really start crying. Instead, you busy yourself with your phone, idly scrolling as if your question was pure curiosity alone.
You watch his ankles uncross, hear him sit up and then lean against the headboard again, fumbling for your train of thought, "Uh... sticky, 'cause I was six," Peter laughs, "You should know. You're the one who kissed me."
No matter how many times he tells you this, you can't remember the day you'd been so bold as to plant one right on Peter Parker's lips. You felt like you'd remember that, but you'd been such an impulsive child back them. Bolder. Thicker-skinned.
But Peter remembers, and so does Aunt May who swears up and down that she'd caught it on camera ("If only I could find that damned photo album"). You're the only one who doesn't. It's like it never happened, "No, God... no. I mean like your first real kiss."
"Like with tongue?" You hear the humor in his voice and even your sullen mood doesn't stop you from smacking his knee. "I dunno what you're talking about. That kiss was real to me."
"I'm serious, Pete."
He hums. You're so, so tempted to look back and see what he's thinking, but it would give you away too easily. "It was... it was a kiss. I mean, Gwen- you know. You know. I was crazy about her. I didn't think I just... kissed her."
"How did it feel? Do you know?"
"I felt like I needed to do it. I felt like if I didn't, I'd throw up. Not actually, just... like I'd explode with all the feelings I had for her."
Your finger hovers over a tweet. In your wondering about that feeling of almost nearly exploding, you try to picture that rooftop kiss that Peter had relayed to you between classes, with hushed whispers and childish laughter. It was windy, and I was breathless, he'd said, and I wanted to lay myself bare. And I just... pulled her in. Shot a web and swept her up and kissed her. I think I've lost my mind. You remembered pressing your back against the school lockers to cool yourself as you imagined the scene, the steps it took for you to settle the uneasy churn in the pit of your chest. The euphoria and panic upon realizing that your Peter was growing up.
You felt overwhelmed just imagining it. You barely hear Peter ask why you want to know. "No reason. Was just curious."
You think that Peter accepts that as good enough reason because the room is silent again. You keep scrolling, keep taking subtle deep breaths to keep the tears at bay. You see a picture of a couple on your timeline and scroll faster.
A few minutes of peace pass before Peter broaches the subject again, "What about you?"
"Hm?"
"I don't think you've ever told me about your first kiss."
Your shoulders tense. No good effort hides the strain in your voice, "I haven't?"
A beat passes. You glance over your shoulder and see Peter staring right at you, his lips upturned in a small, resting smile, but his eyes are inquiring. He's trying to read you. Perhaps he's just noticed the heavy cloud hanging overhead. "Nope." He pops the "P". He's waiting.
You could lie. You could say it was Flash Thompson who stole it, mention that field trip to the zoo in middle school when he'd sneaked next to you at the peacock exhibit and pestered you about you and Peter. Peter wouldn't question Flash about it. Even if they'd made amends, any conversation about him would send him over the edge with memories of his childhood bully and how much he pitied you for having your first kiss with him. And all of you were far too old now; Flash Thompson had gone to another state to play football the minute he got his diploma. It'd be so inconsequential, such an easy lie.
But the longer it takes you to deliberate on it, the worse it makes you look. You should've offered up an answer easily, jovially, unbothered. It should be inconsequential. Anything more and Peter would call your bluff because he knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes.
At some point, you feel the brush of a lone finger at the base of your spine and it startles you. Peter's slipped his finger under your shirt, stroking along the middle of your back, "I won't laugh. If that's what you're thinking." He says softly.
Of course Peter wouldn't laugh at you. As much as your relationship was teasing, he knew where you were tender.
But it wasn't laughing you worried about.
"I know." You say, in lieu of a real answer. You fear you've given yourself away.
Now there are two fingers stroking your skin, "You don't... you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to," but you can hear the discomfort in his voice when he says it, like the thought that it's something you don't want to tell him concerns him, "it's up to you."
Just lie. Your breath shudders and immediately you regret it. There's no way he hadn't heard that.
Before you can recover, you're feeling the heat of his entire hand on your back now as it slips further up, as he sits up in bed beside you and rests his chin on your shoulder. The closeness of his breath makes you feel claustrophobic all of a sudden, "Hey, hey. I'm sorry. Did I push? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
You struggle to shake your head, but now your eyes are burning again and you don't think you can stop the tears this time, "You didn't." You insist.
"You're crying, bub," he laughs (not mockingly, never mockingly, never when you cry) and reaches a thumb up to brush away the first warm tear, "what's wrong?"
There's a million things you could say. I've never been kissed before, I don't know what it feels like to be longed for like that, I want to be longed for like that, why haven't I been longed for like that? But it all feels so heavy. Peter picks his chin up to kiss your shoulder and that really does it, "It never happened."
Peter's lips still against your skin. Their warmth slowly peels away, though you feel his breath ghost over the curve of your bone, "What hasn't?"
"A kiss. A first kiss, Peter. I've never had one."
"That's..." Peter sounds almost shocked, disbelieving. He never picks up that thought.
You turn your head away and toss your phone onto the bed, no longer interested in pretending you could distract yourself with anything else. You try to shrug your shoulder out from underneath Peter's mouth but he's quick, the hand at your back locking around you and you can't escape him even though you want to, even though you need to get away from his sweet smile and lovely heartbeat that thuds a little faster against your side.
It was already so much to tell him you hadn't had your first kiss yet, to admit to your best friend who—despite popular Midtown High opinion—has always been so irresistible to lovers, that you haven't gone as far as something so... simple. Something teenagers running your old stomping grounds have probably experienced ten times over by now. You don't think you can handle his pity too, "Peter, please."
"There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all. Everyone moves at their own pace."
You hiss through your teeth. You don't mean to, but the spite overwhelms you like red hot heat for a minute, "It's easy to say that when you've done it already."
You catch Peter's eye and immediately regret it. His untamed brows are drawn together, expression more analyzing than pitying. Even though you're brimming with feelings, he seems as if he's trying to wade through them, search for the gnarled root at the center of it all.
Then, and he says this so carefully that the meaning takes a moment to catch up with you, "There's nothing wrong with you."
It's the sincerity that does it. You shove his hand off of you, jerk away from him in a scramble to stand, but Peter is fast and lithe and he's always been two steps ahead of you even before the bite. He's up on his feet before even you are, coming to stand in your way when you go to grab for your bag, "Peter, move."
"Look, can we... can we talk about this?"
"I really don't want to. Move."
"Why are you shutting me out?"
"Because I want to go home. Move."
"Is it because of what I said?"
"Yes!" You blurt, growing frustrated the longer he blocks your path, "yes. Because I'm sick of being told there's nothing wrong with me when clearly..." Your voice tapers off, afraid to give him the reason he needs to worry about you, "Please. I'm just tired. It'll go away on its own, it always does, I just can't be here right now."
The standoff between you two lingers, feels like you might have to fight him just to escape. It takes everything in you just to keep eye contact with him and not burst into tears.
Peter clearly doesn't want to let you go. You can see that genius brain of his running every possible scenario in his mind in which he convinces you to stay, cry it out, leave happier than you came. None of them come soon enough. You brush past him when he realizes he's got nothing, and even the hand that grabs for you is halfhearted, shrugged off with little force.
"I'll see you later, Pete."
You let his front door shut on its own.
It hasn't been great.
What typically took a few hours to shake off had settled over you like a dark cloud ever since you'd stormed out of Peter's place. Even though you texted him like everything was fine (and dodged any phone calls so he wouldn't hear the truth with those freakishly good best friend senses of his), you had yet to see him again. Had yet to let yourself be seen.
You told yourself that it was just you missing Peter, and you believed that to be true, but you also believed that when he looked you in the eye and told you "there's nothing wrong with you", you hadn't been prepared for the nakedness of it all. He'd dug deep, right to the source. That kind of thing was hard to move past.
So you avoided him. If he came by your place, you pretended you weren't home. If he showed up at your work to take you to coffee, you lied and told him you had plans with a coworker. It had been several days now and you felt more and more cowardly by the minute.
It was Peter. Of all people, it was Peter. Your best friend. You could tell him anything (most things, some kept a little closer to the heart). You should be able to.
And it was silly. Being embarrassed about not kissing anyone. Plenty of people were in the same boat as you and they didn't ice their best friend out about it.
Ugh, now you were just making yourself feel worse.
You'd had enough. You'd end this pity party today. As you make your way through your apartment door, you promise yourself that after you've showered, after you've made yourself a filling dinner, after you've settled into bed, you'd call Peter and ask him to meet for pizza this weekend. You'd talk like civil adults who understand that life isn't a race. You'd share your couch, laugh about the whole thing, and maybe, just maybe, the hollowness in your chest that longed for someone's desire to fill it would finally-
He's sitting in your kitchen.
Legs dangling off the island, mask rolled up to his nose, and a spoon clattering out of his mouth and into a bowl of ice cream. Your front door shuts gently behind you.
You stare at each other for a few seconds. Then you glance through your bedroom door, cracked open just enough for you to see the breeze rustling your curtains. You turn back to Peter, who's cleaning off his bottom lip of raspberry sorbet. "Did you climb through the window? You have a key."
Peter sets the bowl down beside him, shrugs, "You weren't returning my calls."
Your shoulders sag and you drop your things to the floor, "Peter-"
"No, no," you watch him slide off the countertop and bounce over to you, and the nearness you aren't prepared for makes you back away an inch or two, "No Peter. I'm not Peter. I'm Spider-Man. See?" He gestures to the suit.
You reach your hand up and pinch his exposed cheek, then narrowly avoid his teeth before he tries to nip you, "I'm not in the mood. I said I'd call you later, I'm just... busy."
"Busy avoiding your best friend."
You can feel him trail after you as you walk away, beginning to undress. He catches your coat when you throw it toward the couch and hangs it up all neat on a hook. He kicks your shoes to a wall and tugs your belt from your fingertips once you've undone it. Then, unexpectedly, he hooks said belt around your waist and yanks you back to face him.
The momentum throws you fully into his chest but he's sturdy, unmoving as you grip his shoulders and give him the most hostile look you can muster. You attempt to wiggle out of the trap but he pulls the belt tighter, forcing you closer, and then you start to panic as the space between you both disappears, "I haven't been avoiding you, I just needed space." You quickly explain.
"And I get that," he admits, "but you scared me. I've never seen you like that before. Not with me. Not ever."
Of course he hadn't. It was why you kept all of this a secret in the first place. Because you knew he'd worry, and you knew that there would be nothing he could do to fix it. Not like he usually could.
"It was a... brief lapse in self-esteem. That's all. You're making it into a bigger deal than it should be."
"It's not a big deal?"
"No! That's what I keep trying to tell you."
"So it doesn't matter at all."
"Correct."
"Right."
"It's just an arbitrary milestone that means nothing." You grip the leather of your belt but you're nothing against his superhuman strength. Pleading with your eyes, you do your best not to slip back into that vulnerable place all over again. Peter made you feel safe to do that. Way too safe to do that. "I promise. I'm not avoiding you."
You get sick of staring into the whites of his mask and so you grab the edge of it and pull it up to his hairline, little tufts of curls poking out as his face is fully revealed to you. You stare into those sharp, probing eyes of his, forcing yourself to stand the test of Peter Parker's perception.
Suddenly, you're released.
You stumble back a bit, the belt clanking against the floor, as Peter throws his arms up in defeat, "Alright, alright. I get it. I should've let you breathe the other night. I was just worried, is all."
You smile, "And I appreciate that."
Peter quickly glances at you and then away, making an exaggerated show of kicking imaginary dust off the floor. "First kisses really mean nothing then, huh?"
"Zilch. Nada."
"So... doesn't matter when it is, who it is..."
You watch him carefully, "If this is about when we were six-"
"No, no, I know that didn't count. You don't even remember it," his face contorts in a wince, "I was just thinking. Something."
Your eyes narrow, "Uh-huh."
"Well, I mean, is that why? Because you don't remember it? Or... is it because it was me?"
"The kiss?" Peter blows a raspberry, looking more bashful by the second, and nods without looking at you. "It's... it's because we were six. And we didn't know what we were doing. I was just mimicking what we saw. We didn't know anything."
"And now we do."
"Yeah. What are you getting at, Pete?"
He sits on the back of your couch and kicks his feet out in front of him. "If all that matters is that we both know what we're doing, and a first kiss is just a meaningless milestone to you, then I thought that maybe we could give it another go. You know. So when a real kiss comes along that actually means something, you'll have an idea of how it's supposed to go."
You're six years old again.
You and Peter Parker are sitting in the dirt, mouths covered in sticky ice cream that the summer sun melted right up. You're both talking about Flash Thompson's trip to Florida and the hilarious sunburn he came back with when you spot an elderly couple across the park, pressing their mouths together over and over.
You're looking over at Peter and asking about it, sure it couldn't possibly feel good, and he's telling you that when Uncle Ben kisses May good morning in the kitchen he always looks away because it's gross.
And you're thinking... you start thinking something.
You're thinking it would be funny—that Peter would hate you for it, but you're just so curious—and you're pressing your lips to his so quickly that he doesn't get a chance to pull back before you're giggling in the grass. And May's voice flutters in the background, a shrill and delighted, "I caught that!" that makes you both turn tail and run toward the swings.
Peter's still staring at you, waiting.
Part of you feels like it's pity. Like he doesn't want you to feel bad about yourself. Like he doesn't know how else to fix it, because he has to fix it. He has to fix everything. He has to be your hero.
But the other part? A restless and selfish part wants to take it; it's curious.
You take a step forward, the two of you watching each other, waiting to see if the other might back out at the last second. He stays exactly where he is, legs parting slowly, and the silent invitation makes you feel hot under the collar.
When you're standing between them, you feel his knees bump your legs on either side, his hands planted firmly into the couch cushions. You notice the grip he has on them, "Are you sure?" You pause.
Peter tilts his head in that strange, spider-like way. As if he cannot fathom why would you ask such a thing, "Of course. I'm the one who offered."
Your hands shake as they consider where to put themselves, and you get about halfway to his shoulders before he takes them and places them on either side of his face, mumbling something about how it might help you feel more in control, quell your nerves a bit.
Peter's cheeks feel so warm in your hands, and you can feel each swallow he makes the longer you take in his expression. "Should... I move in first? Or..."
He laughs, short and high-pitched, "I guess I can go first."
You know you're supposed to close your eyes, but as he comes in close, you can't help but keep them lidded, taking in every twitch of his mouth as he inclines his neck, shuts his eyes, and kisses you.
Your brain reacts a half-second after his lips touch yours. You've probably stopped breathing, and you have to force your lips to unstiffen so that you could actually feel him. His lips are a little wet—he'd been rolling his bottom lip between his teeth since he'd sat down—and they taste faintly of raspberry. They're not cold though, and the feeling isn't unpleasant.
You don't know how to react to it, don't know if you should move or not, and so instead you curl your fingers into the silk of his nape and wait for the pounding in your chest to stop.
You feel him mouth at your bottom lip just once, and then pull back. "How'd that feel?"
You recall the sensations that went through your brain (all that it can recall anyway, when Peter's looking at you like that), "Slimy...?"
Peter's face falls, and then he bursts into laughter, shakes with the force of it, and drops his head on your shoulder. "There's got to be a better word than that."
"I don't know! I was just thinking about the feeling."
"I don't want to know what it felt like, I want to know how it made you feel. Did you like it? Hate it?"
"I don't know. I'm- I'm nervous."
"Hey, that's okay," his hand rubs your hip, warming the skin there, and you find yourself leaning into it for comfort, "everyone is their first time."
Peter is so, so gentle. Your heart feels like it might give out, but a little less now that it's over and he's not looking at you in disgust. You don't know what you expected, but... this was better. By far. That part of you that felt selfish takes over again, "Can we try again?"
His eyes widen a bit, but he's immediately nodding, "Okay. Yeah. Okay. We can try as- as many times as you want."
You nearly choke on your spit. "Can we?" Your voice comes out a meek whisper.
Peter nods. He brings his legs in so that he's sitting properly now. "Of course. You wanna move me? I can sit somewhere else. Or you can sit if you want."
"No, I like you here," you say, feeling your stomach tighten when his thighs lock against your legs, "um. Is there anything I can work on? How did I feel?"
"Warm. Soft. Just try to loosen up, alright?"
You force yourself to release the tension in your body and move in first this time. Images of rom-com kisses flood your brain, how you memorized their rhythms and the placement of their mouths. You try your best to mimic it, make it feel as good as it seemed to look, when you feel one of Peter's hands slip behind your head and angle you away just a hair, "You're tensing up," he warns, making you pause, "it doesn't have to be perfect. It's just you and me. Breathe for me, okay? Turn your brain off."
You feel your stomach flip a bit, and nod along mindlessly. You try again.
This time, it feels a little different. Not wet or stiff, even if it is still awkward. It almost overwhelms you when, as you're mouthing at Peter's lip, he returns the favor, but you keep your brain empty. You can't focus on the details because it won't feel right. You can't focus on the way it looks because it won't feel right.
So you focus on Peter. You focus on the hand on your hip drawing you closer and the hand on your neck rubbing circles into the knot there. You focus on the feeling of his suit under your pinkies. You focus on the small hum he makes when, with quite a bit of building up to it, you pass your tongue over his.
Almost as soon as you do it, you pull back. Peter is flushed and it makes the beauty marks on his skin stand out more. His eyelashes flutter, a half-smile on his lips that are kissed red. By you.
You open your mouth to ask but he beats you to it, "I think you've got it now... yeah. Definitely." You're so relieved you sigh, sagging away from him, but he catches your hands before they can can leave his face completely and holds them in his lap. You don't dare move them. "How about you? Did you like it?"
You nod, speechless.
Peter laughs and squeezes your hands in his, "Okay, good. Good. I love you, you know? I know it doesn't... replace what you're looking for, but you're wonderful. You're insane and funny and stunning and there's nothing wrong... you know? You're perfect. Take it from your loser best friend who had to get bit by a radioactive spider to get to first base."
You snort, "I mean, if that's all it takes..."
Peter shakes his head and stands, but his hand remains on your neck as you follow his eyes to his full height, "So, we good? No more ignoring me?" You bite your lip, nodding your head. Peter smiles. "Good, cause I'm starving and I need you to split a pizza with me."
"You just polished off a tub of ice cream and you're still hungry?"
"I'm a growing spider, honey. And I missed you." Without warning, the hand on your hip hooks around your back and hoists you into his body, throwing you off balance once more, "I'll swing us there and cover cheese sticks too. Sound good?"
You know you don't have much room to argue when he's being so generous. And not when he's beaming at you, so genuinely relieved to have you back that it would knock you off your feet if he wasn't holding you up.
He was right; this wouldn't replace what you were looking for, but it gets pretty damn close. Closer than you expected, actually. But it's just the adrenaline. This didn't change anything.
Did it? You stare up at Peter.
"We can try as many times as you want."
You might have a very different problem than you started with.
taglist: @yikes-buddy @alexxavicry @theclassicvinyldragon @marina-and-the-memes
#peter parker x reader#peter parker scenarios#peter parker imagines#peter parker fic#peter parker fluff#peter parker angst#peter parker#spiderman x reader#spiderman scenarios#spiderman imagines#spiderman fic#spiderman fluff#spiderman angst#andrew garfield#spider-man#marvel#mjwrites#tasm
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it’s a cliche to want to kill myself this close to the end of the year, if that saying that most people off themselves around this time of year is true. but ooh look at me who is too lazy to do anything properly because nothing I do is ever good enough and maybe? maybe that’s fuckin true
#what's it been. five years? five years of what?#I had two dreams last night. the first one. there were five of us. special for some reason I think we used aristocratic titles#to describe each other.#one of them was someone in particular who I won't name because I feel embarrassed that I dreamt about him again#we all had to leave the place trapping us so we could do whatever we were special for#I nearly did it. I got captured at the last second by my own family. I let everyone down again like I guess it's my purpose to always do#second dream was one of my more standard running-away-from-this-house dreams. dunno why it's been this place#even before we lived here#made it to the nearby railway yard to hide.#dream ended somewhere around there because the dog woke me up#maybe I'm just pissed off and sore and having a bad time with my unproveable-at-home bp.#maybe I just miss who I dreamt about a bit too much.#maybe I'm right and I am just a fuckup
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if i may complain for a bit about something that doesn't actually matter and can be easily avoided. god i hate fics that baby-fy chuuya
#yeah yeah i know just don't read them w/e. there's no tags to avoid these unfortunately 😐#it kinda feels like a fanon of fanon. it's so far removed from his canon self even if some core elements are there.#why write him like a 15 y/o even as an adult. and the thing is. even when he was 15 in canon he wasn't this childish. c'mon.#a lot of the most popular skk fics have him characterized like this and man I'm tired. look how they massacred my boy.#ok complaining session over. i feel like i sound kinda mean. sorry abt that.#it doesn't actually matter that much just a bit frustrating when it keeps happening when you're already a couple hundred words into a fic#edit: i lied I'm not done complaining i gotta turn this into a rant bc ppl misunderstanding my favorite character online is a crime.#childish was the wrong word for me to use ig it's more like. innocent.#girl. bestie. he has been part of criminal organizations quite literally since he remembers himself.#he is not some sweet uwu baby who's a bit of a tsundere or w/e. he's got genuine reasons to be angry yknow. he's been through shit#and he's not innocent? he's in the fucking mafia lol we literally see him kill like 20 people in 5 minutes at 15 y/o.#he's not naive either???? he may not be dazai levels of smart but he's still capable of figuring things out himself????#like he did figure out rimbaud's thing by himself. he's not stupid or slow. he wouldn't be a mafia executive otherwise.#and that's also the reason he can't be naive like... he is in constant danger after all#and idk watering down all this^ for aus is boring and turning him into practically an oc but it's even worse in canonverse#or literally any au where he suffers the same amount as he does in canon. bc then what's your excuse for watering him down.#it feels like forcing him into this very clear cut mold you see in every media when he is literally. not that.#no one in bsd is honestly that's part of its charm imo. they all subvert your expectations of their character archetypes#i think this is why it's making me so angry bc it doesn't feel like just misunderstanding the character but also the whole story. in a way.#am i going too far? perhaps. i dunno. i do feel less Dirty after letting out this frustration tho.#complaining session is now officially over okay. yes. sorry. i don't mean to offend anyone sorry if i sound mean at any point.
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Aakhon Mein Teri ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆
Summary: Lando Norris and his very desi girlfriend <3
: ̗̀➛ ln4 x desi!reader ₊˚⊹♡
: ̗̀➛ fluff + humour ₊˚⊹♡
masterlist ☾☼
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yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 321,970 others
yourusername: manifesting that our story doesn't end like om shanti om
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landonorris this movie was traumatising
yourusername no it wasn't!
user1 it really is
landonorris next time im picking a movie for movie night
yourusername no 😚
user2 dunno who i love more srk or lando
yourusername the only reason im with lando is cause srk is too old for me
landonorris wtf babe????
maxfewtrell you need to stop showing him movies that'll keep him up at night
carlossainz he's a child
danielricciardo too young to watch horror movies
landonorris THANK YOU
user3 i love how they came for lando's rescue 😂😂😂
yourusername
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 715,026 others
yourusername gora pakora with his little spicy pakora
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landonorris youre so beautiful
yourusername no you
landonorris i am
yourusername 😒
landonorris wtf is a gora pakora
user1 NO ONE TELL HIM
user2 youre a gora pakora lando
oscarpiastri yall are cute
yourusername lily and i are cuter tho
alexalbon youve already stolen my lily, why do you need another one
yourusername alexalbon im collecting all your girlfriends and then we're gonna ditch yall and live happily ever after
charlesleclerc alexandrasaintmleux stay away
alexandrasaintmleux no 😚
user3 PARENTS
user4 LANDO IN A KURTA LANDO IN A KURTA THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
user5 im dead he looks so beautiful
yourusername
liked by mclaren, landonorris and 853,017 others
yourusername poor guy's gonna lose all his money now that he's marrying me
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landonorris can't wait to marry you
mclaren congratulations to the happy couple!
user6 shes such a gold digger
user1 no you dumbass. indian weddings have like, 13 different ceremonies to it
user2 my parents are getting married
user4 can't believe he's willingly giving away all of his money to her
carlossainz congratulation kids
danielricciardo they grow up so fast
maxverstappen1 i just read somewhere that there are 13 ceremonies???
yourusername yes there's going to be a meeting about it. i expect you to be there
maxverstappen1 im scared
yourusername you should be
oscarpiastri cant believe youre getting married!
user5 i love how y/n's gonna have a meeting to explain the wedding process to all of them
user1 indian weddings are no joke 😭😭😭
yourusername
liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 981,003 others
yourusername my radha was on the dance floor 🕺❤️
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landonorris im so happy i married you i love you sm
yourusername i love you sm too
user1 WE NEED MORE DETAILS
carlossainz how did your wedding end up being more tiring than a triple header???
yourusername its the beauty of indian weddings
oscarpiastri i honestly feel like im still drunk
landonorris as you should be
mclaren NO AS YOU SHOULDNT BE
georgerussell beautiful beautiful wedding guys
yourusername carmen looked so pretty i wouldve married her instead
carmenmmundt YES
georgerussell NO
landonorris NO
danielricciardo all those dance practices paid off
yourusername you bet im gonna use the sangeet videos on your birthdays
charlesleclerc please dont we beg you
yourusername MWAHAHA
alexalbon landonorris your wife is being mean to us
yourusername he won't say anything he loves me
landonorris i do
maxfewtrell whipped
user2 I NEED TO SEE THIS VIDEO
user4 im so happy for them im gonna cry
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this is my first smau! i'm still learning to do these, so I'm sorry if this was bad! the dupatta getting caught on lando's watch idea was a request by @justadesirebel and I'm so sorry it took me so much time to make this! but, anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this! also, the title "aakhon mein teri" translated means "in your eyes" and I chose that because the scene in the movie when the actress' dupatta gets caught in the actor's watch, that's the song playing in the background! i've also got a link for my taglist that you can find here!
#f1#formula 1#ln4#lando norris#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando x reader#lando norris fluff#lando norris x desi!reader#ln4 x y/n#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln#ln4 x desi!reader#lando norris smau#lando norris social media au#ln4 x reader
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