#dunno why I am doing this to myself

[cerunilea]

Recently I have found two different variations of audio overstimulation directly from qsmp that I have voluntarily subjected myself to for better or worse:

the chaos of the mission/etoiles dungeons with all the powerful mobs, loud suits of armor, sounds of damage being dealt, and screams of panicking players (moderately bad kind of overwhelmed, can't think, have to mute the streams every so often during to recover a bit despite enjoying watching anyways)

dorime layered several times over itself that Foolish and several eggs pole-danced to in cinematic fashion (still can't think, but it sounds good, and have actively brought up several duplicate tabs of the song to discordantly echo through my brain)

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[shalom-iamcominghome]

My jewish community, friends, rabbi, and educators: We are very invested in helping you be jewish. Do you want to help read the haftarah? Here's a chanukiah! You can have it!! Borrow these books! Here's some books! You need more books... Come to pesach! Come to the chanukah party! When are your classes done? We need a minyan for once!

Me and my 50000 IQ: What if I am Secretly Appropriating judaism? What if I am doing a Cultural Appropriation........

[penny00dreadful]

Can someone explain to my, why as I was falling asleep, my brain decided that it was going to focus on a cursed AU, a Twilight AU.

But this time with vampire Steve, hotboi hot topic of conversation amongst the school, desired by almost everyone and charming, very charming, but always keeping himself at a distance from everyone, except for his own family. The Harringtons. It’s some kind of weird adoption thing, the school has decided. Steve has a brood of kids living with him in his big house, some people think it’s a cult thing. They all moved here from a tiny rural town, after all. Or it’s some weird small town America thing.

And then there’s the two girls. Robin and Chrissy. The student body can’t decide if they’ve got some kind of thruple thing going on because the two girls are always so close with each other, so intimate and like… there’d have to be a boy in between that, right? Because otherwise it’s just gay. And like he’s constantly around them?

The heteronormativity of the rumours is laughable.

Steve’s a jock extraordinaire, and while he’s good at his sports, he doesn’t get close with anyone on his team, keeps them all at a distance like he does everyone else.

Enter Eddie.

Weird, eccentric, brown curly haired, big doe eyed Eddie who just moved in with Uncle Wayne.

[lonely-moon-artist-blog]

And Typegingi.

Again. Misspelling here is like- it's intentional.

Don't know even what to ramble here about. Well I think I might draw typewriters better.

Also I'm a bit worried about next theme like.. Yeah I get what headcanons are but I don't think I have anything that's original really.

Hm... I'll draw something basic probably. I just hope it won't be anything like.. Way too lazy.

[moeblob]

Look, there's so much that I love about certain otome but I really don't finish every route every time ?? But 7'scarlet, Steam Prison, and Norn9 all got completed! So they get the rec spots!

Honorable mentions: Nightshade (ninja otome, same artist as Norn9 thus I love it even if I haven't completed every route - Switch) Period Cube (I also fully complete it and the art is very nice imo and I enjoyed it a lot but it has really bad reviews from like. everywhere I see. but here's my shill of appreciation anyway - PS Vita) Sweet Fuse (it's just really fun to yell at men for being sexist - PSP)

But genuinely, there's a lot out there! Do the research on the game before you buy them! Not all otome are for everyone.

[nientedal]

"Zira" "Azi" "Az" SIGHHHHHH

is anybody else irritated at the widespread fandom nicknaming of Aziraphale and fucking nobody else? is that just me? because it really feels like a "oooh [wince-hisses through teeth], no, that's too long and weird. that's too hard. i'm gonna call you This instead" situation, and i do not care for it. it pissed me off when i was writing good omens fanfic thirteen years ago and it pisses me off now. you care enough about everyone else to get their names right, all the unusual demon and angel monikers, but oh no, Aziraphale, oh that's ten whole letters, that's way too long. oh you're not gonna bother to type all that, no, his name is just Zira now.

and like, he's not real, so this super duper does not matter and isn't deeply and incredibly shitty the way it is when it's directed at real people. but it still rubs me the wrong way every time i see it. that's not his name! why is his name not good enough for you to take the time to type out the way you do for everyone else! ugh.

[butchrindou]

i’m so pressured with improving myself as an artist and it’s making me lose it because i’m not even doing art for my career but i love it so much. Like i kinda feel useless doing it sometimes, especially since i see other artists and i know damn well i will never achieve that level and im not saying this for people to feel pity but idk i feel like my art style doesn’t fit tr.???3! or like idk. Sometimes i’ll literally cry because i feel like my art style doesn’t fit rindou and she’s literally my muse, she’s the reason why i get so excited to sit down and draw everyday yet i feel like im just stuck sitting somewhere where i can’t do anything special to show my love for her and it sounds silly.. bc that’s a fictional character but still, ive liked this character for so long and i see improvement just from drawing rindou non stop but i still feel like im just barely touching the surface of improvement. Also i feel like i care too much about what others may like vs what i want to try and draw.. i want to draw her raw and literally how i perceive her, her character, her body, every single aspect of her and why she’s so important to me. Yet i can’t do that because i get so scared of the outcome/how my artwork looks/ how others will perceive it. And im not saying im not happy with my art, i am but there’s just ways i want to do it i feel like wont stick out to others which scares me or it will seem ooc of rindou. literally because of this i always have the urge to delete my account and restart and continue doing that till i feel like i perfected her yet i dont think that’ll ever happen even with how much love i have for that character

[crazylavenders]

Where is why is Gamora memes.

[alicornze7]

how much detail do u want?

Y E S

Gangle being a theater kid with the overly complicated non-practical costumes that she’d wear on set

[ying-doodles]

*monotone* nya-

fun fact: the original sketches for this were of different characters and stayed a wip for over 3 years (dec 2020)-

[nymphrasis]

I'll admit, I hecking love, love, LOVE villainous characters ( Close to that are me liking some certified sassy stinkers :3 ). I dunno, I just am always fond on villain-type characters. I like their lore, the way they act, and sometimes I root for them ( Or root for their ass to be beat by the heroes haha ) >w<. Note for just fictional characters and there are some actions I really am not keen to cheer for :s.

Not sure if that makes sense aaaa.

I only randomly brought this up because I am watching some videos that discuss their placement on who they consider to be the best villains :3.

[coldercreation]

brb about to go down a research rabbit hole lol

Question of the day!

Why is showing ‘disinterest’ such prevalent thing when it comes to building friendships and relationships?

I have talked about this here before in my rants lol, but it just always frustrates me. Like, you know those arbitrary ‘rules’ in dating that you shouldn’t show too much interest or get in touch too soon, or be too ‘intense’ or interested? Like, obviously don’t be a stalker and read the room etc, but I mean if you're just a regular and safe 'well-adjusted' person, why is you showing genuine effort and interest seen as a bad thing (I don't mean love bombing, that's a whole different thing)? If you genuinely like each other, why is the social rule saying that you shouldn’t show that? Same goes with friendships, why is showing interest in the person you want to get to know sometimes, somehow, a bad thing? To a point that some people can get put off by that effort someone is showing to get to know them? Not saying everyone is like this, because I know there are so many people who aren’t. And plenty people also disregard these social rules because they aren’t actually concrete rules. 

This is just a social construct and I’m trying to figure out why it is, because it seems counter productive? By what logic does it work? How are you supposed to make friends/date, if them showing interest in you makes you exit the relationship/ghost/breadcrumb?

How long are we supposed to only talk in one line texts about surface level stuff, to avoid being too much/too intense, before it’s acceptable? How do you know you’re following the same social timelines with the people you’re trying to get close to, when there’s no actual set rules? Someone might think you have to wait three days after a date to get in touch, but someone else will get offended if you take longer than two. But the next day or the same day is too desperate to some folk? And I'm talking about this from the point of view of someone who doesn't have trouble reading social cues/expectations. Can't even imagine dealing with this mess if that wasn't the case. Like what's the point of having these 'rules' if it just makes things more difficult for everyone? :')

These rules, technically, don't need to exist at all. It's all made up, based on... Something? We can always dismiss them ourselves but I'd like to know why they came to be and why we keep upholding them. I want to know the social purpose y'know? Is it a safety thing? Protecting yourself and not wanting to be vulnerable? That'd be valid, of course. But it does seem self sabotaging as it blocks people from actually making the connections they say they want to have?

I’ve been trying to find any research on the social behaviour regarding this, but I’m not sure what to even look up lol. Especially because I think the way we interact and behave has changed so much just in the last five years even. 

I just find it so curious that there’s so many headlines about loneliness epidemic, but people also recoil away from others when someone does show them genuine interest and wants to talk to them.   

I’ve had this initial ‘disinterest’ stage happen in the friendship context more. Also sudden, out of nowhere, communication ending/ghosting disinterest when trying to make friends (like please hurt my heart some more I beg u lmao). I haven’t really dated in the last few years so I don’t personally know how that field is at the moment, but I know ghosting is really common and people actively try to hold back from showing interest at first, even if they are reallyreally interested.

Maybe I’ll try looking more into the effects on social media etc, there’s a lot about ghosting in that context. But I just feel like it’s not quite what I mean, because I feel this disinterest phenomenon thing is separate from ghosting. 

Anyway! Happy Sunday loll xx

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[vehemourn]

nausea forever

[emlos]

im so fucking conflicted man, like this is making me cry