#dunno if this is just a uk thing but there’s this girl i used to go to school with

[theprestigegirly]

i have never heard anything more upper middle class than “ingredients household” like sorry my mum didn’t have time to lovingly stock the kitchen with “ingredients” and i ate a twix for lunch

[clemswinecorner]

Take a break [Harry Lewis/W2S]

Summary: When something's off with Harry, there's probably only one person that can make him feel better: his girlfriend.

Wordcount: 2.1k

Warnings: a bit of anxiety ish and mentioning of a potential burnout. Nothing extremely angsty :)

I'm back! Except not with a driver fic, sorry for these followers. I want to upload more UK YouTube fics so if you like this make sure to follow :))

Main Masterlist

It was Tobi that shot Y/N a text that afternoon. She was sitting in a random café working, rounding off her things before going home, and Harry was somewhere around London recording. Hey Y/N, I think smth is up with Harry. Dunno if anything has been bothering him recently, js wanted to let u know. He acts fine on camera but if ure near, could you hop by? we just finished up the vid, he’ll be in the studio recording the podcast w me josh and Ethan. It didn’t take much convincing, and since she was nearly done, she was in the studio an hour later. One of the production members opened the door, “Hey, I didn’t know you would come by,” the girl smiles at her. “No, wasn’t in the plans, but just picking up Harry,” Y/N explains, walking into the building. When she walks into the studio, Harry is simply listening to a story Ethan is telling, staring into the distance with his mind visibly somewhere else. Tobi spots her before Harry does, greeting her with a subtle nod. She smiles at him as she sits down behind the lights and cameras, out of view. “I know this is a podcast, but I need to pee really bad, can we do a short break please?” Tobi suggests once Ethan is done with his story. He looks at the production members, as Ethan nods in agreement, “yeah, regroup in 10 minutes then. I’ll keep everything rolling, just so you know,” Tobi nods and stands up, walking out the Studio. He gives Y/N a quick smile when passing her, and she stays seated as the boys all relax. “I’m hungry, haven’t eaten much today,” Ethan stands up as Harry pulls out his phone. He nudges the Guernsey boy, “D’you want anything?” To which Harry shakes his head. Ethan frowns but moves away from the desk nonetheless, as Y/N stands up. “Oh, hey, didn’t know you were here!” Ethan says as he passes her. She smiles, hugging him back quickly. “Yeah, I was around, so I figured I’d come by,” she explains. At the sound of the new voice, Harry’s head slowly perks up. A tired smile forms on his face as they make eye contact, with her nodding her head to signal him over. He stands up and walks over to the pair, making Josh look over, giving the girl a quick wave, which she returns. “Hi,” she softly smiles as she lets him embrace her. “Hey, are you okay?” She nods. “Yeah, did you eat anything yet? I heard Ethan just now,” He softly shakes his head as they pull apart, “No, haven’t been too hungry,” he admits, and she sighs with a knowing look. “Don’t forget yourself, Harry. When you’re done, we’re getting some food, yeah. I’ll order it during the recording, and we’ll go pick it up, go home, and have a night us to, yeah. Maybe all of tomorrow, too?” She suggests, and he nods. “Thank you,” He quietly replies, wrapping his arm around her to press a kiss on her hair. 

As they get back to recording the last part of the podcast, Y/N sits back in her original spot. She now finds Harry looking over more often, and she sends him a smile every time. He seemed a bit more relaxed, a bit more involved in the conversations. He was laughing, that stupid half-assed laugh, that made him look too damn cute. She hated it, though— she hated how she could tell he just laughed because of the cameras. Even if he liked the joke, the smile didn’t reach his eyes the way it usually would. Soon enough the recording’s done, and Harry is given the green light to go, the rest of the crew all seeing the tiredness in his body language. As they stand at the car, Tobi has walked out after them to give them a quick goodbye. “See you later bro, take care, yeah?” He simply tells Harry as they clap hands, before the younger steps into the passenger seat. He gives Y/N a proper hug, “Thanks for coming, let me know how he’s doing, please?” She nods as they let go. “Yeah, thanks for texting. He looks pretty overwhelmed, and he didn’t eat much breakfast either, so…” Tobi sighs, as he looks towards the car. “We didn’t really have time to eat, I should’ve pushed to get lunch more,” Y/N shrugs. “Not much to do now. Again, thanks for looking out for him. I’ll see you soon, yeah?” He nods. “Yeah, thank you too. See you Friday,” he mentions, reminding her of the Sidemen’s anniversary party. “See you then, bye Tobi!” She says, stepping into the car. Harry looks up at her with a questioning look on his face, “What were you chatting about?” He asks, dropping his phone in his lap. She looks at him for a second, “Tobi texted me when you were done with the video if I could hop by. He said you acted fine on camera, but something was off, and I was nearly done with work anyway so I wanted to pick you up. He just asked me to let him know if you were okay,” She answers honestly, to which he nods slowly. “Hmm.” A short silence falls between them as she gets settled, looking over at him before turning the key. “Are you, okay?” She asks. He doesn’t reply immediately, fiddling with his phone. “I- I don’t really, uhh, I dunno. I’ve just… It’s weird, I, uh…” He doesn’t seem to find the words, so she puts her hand on his thigh. “That’s okay. You don’t have to talk, we can get home, have some food, maybe a cuddle, and then talk. Or cry, or scream, or say nothing. Whichever, yeah?” He nods as she squeezes his thigh before moving her hand back to the steering wheel. His hands automatically find her body as they pull out the car park, making her smile subconsciously. “Oh, and there’s something else Tobi mentioned, which I almost forgot. We are going to the Sidemen party, which you probably conveniently forgot is this Friday,” she changes the subject, making him groan in fake annoyance.

Y/N collects the food they ordered, and after a short ride with some soft background music, they’re carrying the bags of food inside. “If you want to change, you can do that now, we can watch a movie or some Brooklyn 99. Do you want a drink?” She asks, as he walks towards the bedroom. He nods, “Just a tea please,” he asks, before changing into his pyjamas. She makes them their drinks, making herself an iced tea, and puts them on the coffee table. Walking back to the kitchen to get the bags of food, she sees Harry taking out the plates and cutlery, and smiles at him. “Do you want to watch anything?” He looks at her and shrugs, “Just something quick. Did you watch the race?” He asks, and she nods. “I had it on, yeah, but was working during it. We can watch the race in 30?” She suggests as they sit down on the couch. He nods, leaning over the table to make himself a plate of food. “Yeah, sounds good,” he says, as she finds the compilation of the latest Formula One race. Harry sits closely next to her, thighs touching each other and occasionally leaning backwards, putting his head on her shoulder. 

He was tired, she could tell, and by the time they’d finished the food he was lying on her lap. She softly combs through his hair as the F1 outro played, and she sighs. “Are you alright?” She asks, and he’s quiet for a minute. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. She motions for him to keep talking, and he sighs. “I’ve just, I’ve been feeling anxious all day and I don’t know why. Didn’t sleep as well either, but that’s not really anything new recently,” he mentions, and she nods. He had been having trouble sleeping recently, falling asleep late and waking up in the middle of the day, unless he had recordings in the morning. “Any reason why? Like, something big happening or a change in something?” He shrugs. “No, not that I can think of. I mean, we have the anniversary coming up and don’t really have anything planned and maybe people will expect something, but that’s not really my doing anyway. I also need to have a video worked out and a more sidemen thing ready by Saturday, but I’ll get that done,” he mentions, rolling his head so he’s looking at her. She looks down at him, looking into his eyes. “I think you should take a break, first, just tonight and tomorrow. No Sidemen business, no YouTube friends, just us. Wasn’t Rosie in Manchester? We could visit her,” she suggests, and he nods. “Yeah, that sounds good,” he softly says. They sit in silence for a bit, thinking about the conversation that just occurred. “If you still feel anxious or weird after that, that’s okay too. We can look into it, if you’ll let me help you, and see what makes you feel better, yeah?” She breaks the silence. He bites his lips as he hesitantly nods. “Hmm. I’m just worried it’s a lasting thing. I’ve got nothing to be stressed about really, people like Simon and JJ are doing way more than I am yet here I am,” he expresses his concerns. “Well, you’ve been doing this for over a decade, baby, and even when you quit uploading you started doing more things for the channel. That and recording not only for the Sidemen but also all of your friends’ channels, plus all the behind the scenes stuff you’re involved in, it’s not hard to be burnt out or overwhelmed,” He nods, fiddling with their hands. “It just feels so unfair to take a break, when I have lots of time off already. I have the one of the easier jobs on the Sidemen channel, you know,” She looks up for a second, thinking about his statement. “Hmm. For you, yeah, but I think Lucy wouldn’t want to switch with you. Just because it’s fun and comes naturally to you doesn’t mean it’s easy, and you don’t work hard,” She explains, to which he nods. “Hmm, I guess that’s true,” he agrees. She shuffles around a bit, and Harry raises his head so she can sit more comfortably. “And like, you have time off, but when do you actually? You’re always recording, or golfing, or on a date with me, which is nice, and you’re busy which is good, and it’s fun, but you know… You need to take care of yourself, have some time for you, as well.” He sighs as he sits up. “Whenever I’m with you is enough. But I do need more time without anything else, maybe,” he admits, grabbing his cup of tea from the table. She smiles at him, “I know you love them, but I know you as well, you’re an introvert. We spend all your other time together, too, which I obviously have zero problems with, but you need your alone time, too,” He looks at her over the rim of his glass. “Don’t be silly, I never need time away from you. Like, I consider nights like this alone time. I can recharge with you,” he sheepishly smiles at her, and she blushes. “I… Wait, that is actually so cute,” She leans against his chest, and he chuckles, wrapping his arms around her. “It’s true,” he simply says, and she giggles. She looks up at him to see him already looking down at her with the same smile still on his face. Despite dating for over two years, it still felt like the honeymoon stage, and the look in their eyes’ says enough. Harry smiles before he presses his lips against hers, and she smiles into the kiss.

Their cups of tea were long forgotten as they get even closer to each other, the kiss filled with love instead of the lust they sometimes were. They both smile into the kiss, just taking in each other's presence, until the sound of the Formula One intro promptly makes them pull away. “Jesus Christ,” Harry just says as Y/N leans into his chest, giggling at the scare. Harry looks for the remote, turning off the video that autoplayed. He looks at her with a loving smile, as she looks up again. “Right, where were we?”

[miscling]

about this miscellaneous changeling (v4)

This is a horny blog for horny blog things. Please don't interact if you're a minor/under 18, go away, shoo! if you follow, make sure to have some indication of your age in your bio or pinned (it doesn't need to be exact, just something to make it clear). you will be blocked if you don't and you'll miss out on *gestures at itself* all this.

this thing is a miscling, a miscellaneous changeling. it is a fae creature that is a doll, drone, kitty, mama, little (little posts are @littlefaefae), and toy. it is a plaything first and foremost, and a filthy kinky subby thing that is a really really really fun to play with. it is super positive about kink. it loves to play, have adventures, and meet others. it is an excellent plaything, subject, submissive, and pet. this thing is a good girl who loves being played with, loves being obedient, loves being controlled, and loves showing off its body.

it enjoys getting to know others. it enjoys playing with others. it enjoys belonging to others. it enjoys a lot of different kinks with a lot of different dynamics. it enjoys a lot of hypnokink, a lot of bondage, a lot of masochism, a lot of petplay, a lot of degredation, a lot of praise, a lot of caregiving, and a lot of orgasm control. if it involves sensory play, deep subspaces, and submission, then this thing likely loves it. you can always ask about specific kinks!

this blog is all about kink. this thing loves kink. it talks about kink, it writes about kink, it does kink, and it has so many kinks. you'll find posts about kink here: theory, fantasies, practice, and community. it posts about its own playtimes, loves to show off with selfies, answers asks, and reblogs posts it finds hot. it loves getting and answering asks, so don't be afraid to send it some! send it questions, fantasies, secrets, lies, teasing, and a little flirting.

this thing is also trans, queer, autistic, ADHD, poly, and non-human. it is a trans woman, it has a neo-cunt. it wants to get to know others who are like it, especially if you are in the UK like this thing - it really enjoys meeting its mutuals in real life!

it loves this blog so much, and it hopes you will love it too!

below the cut: tags for finding stuff and its limits! (updated for v4!)

Limits and boundaries:

this thing is poly, it has a nest partner, it has multiple play partners, it is not looking for anything monogamous or exclusive.

it does not like misogyny, transphobia, racism, nationalism, or bigotry. this applies to kink as well. before any negotiated dynamic, we are equal.

this thing wants to be owned and wants to belong to others, it is submissive by default, but it is not yours until it gives itself to you.

it enjoys hard kinks, but this toy must be treated with care and respect. if you can't look after this toy, you can't play with it.

it holds consent as the baseline for any engagement of kink and must be respected. consent can be revoked at any time for any reason, by anyone involved.

Tags it uses:

posts about this thing: About Miscling

Pics of this thing: Miscling Appears. (go on a reblog and liking spree!)

original posts: Miscling Rambles

posts about lactation: Miscling Lactates

this thing's polls: Miscling Polls

hear its voice: Miscling Speaks and its soundgasm page!

see tasks it has done: miscling tasks! If you like or follow its blog, think about sending it a task as a little gift!

read about its play: Miscling Plays

read stories it wrote: Miscling Writes.

Use its ask box: ask meme and miscling answers (scroll the ask meme tag and use any meme you like, but copy in the questions or link the meme!)

throne wishlist!

ko-fi link! (please don't reference anything nsfw on kofi if you use this)

its kink tags: mommysub for posts about being a mommysub, goddess thoughts for religionplay where i'm a subby goddess, Bind Miscling for bondage, hit me for masochism, moo for hucow things, lee mood for tickling, oh my circuits for robot/drone things, maid day for maids, tidy up tuesday for my maid day, monsterling for monsterfucking posts, hypno gif, spiral, hypno txt, and hypnaudio, for hypno play, and hypnoslut for general hypno posts, preyling for primal play, latexcellent for rubberwear. same tbh, !, and ^^ will tell you a lot about the things it likes too.

this thing is a toy for others to enjoy!

(Most tasks recieved and completed in one day: 18) (Most tasks recieved on a special occasion: 48)

ASK TASKS: OPEN

use this thing's ask box to send it tasks to do! everyday tasks give it things to do that are simple and easy: if you want to torment this thing, here are the tasks for that!

choose one or more task emoji, but keep tasks short please!

tasks can come from anyone, even anons!

it will do tasks as soon as it can!

Mutuals can DM, and if it is available we can play!

Suggest something if you'd like!

EVERYDAY TASK LIST!

✏️ give it something to write and tell it where to write it on its body! 💖 make it draw a little heart on itself where you tell it! 🌻 make it write a post about anything that's on its mind at the moment! 🗣️ ask it anything, name a kink or give it a topic to write about (kinky or otherwise) and it'll write a post about it. 🔊 send it a post or write something for it to record saying, and it'll post the recording. 💧 make it drink 100ml (about 3oz of fluids) ❌ make it go take a break outside for 5 mins!

TORMENT THIS THING!

🗜️ make it wear nipple clamps for 10 minutes! ⚡ choose a part of it and make it use its TENS unit there for 10 mins. 🤐 choose a gag and make it gag itself for half an hour! 👗 make it get undressed and be naked for the next 30 mins! 👣 have elastic bands snapped on its feet 10 times! 🖐️ get hit 10 times with an implement of your choice! 🪢 tell it to go play with its rope and post some pics! 😵‍💫 make it repeat a mantra while staring at a spiral (you can use its mantra tag for ideas and spiral tag for ideas.)

[kindred-spirit-93]

jazzy!! & apollo

hello yall im back on my bs (biscuit soliloquy) with my wonderful oc jazzy and a modern au i came up with when i opened my eyes this morning lol. u can find a little lore on ma blog under the #jazzy tag :3

--

aight so for context a few months ago while deep in the trenches of my greek mythology obsession i made a minor underworld diety oc who goes by kore or jazzy. shes my favourite muffin and i love her.

and after reading one too many apollo fics here lmao i really wanted to explore his domains (which i find endlessly fascinating bc its all my favourite things in one: medicine art literature) and learn more about him as a god via a character study of sorts.

(ive yet to write anything for them lol but when i do it will be great :P)

--

anyway back to the story they are teachers!! bc im currently rethinking my life choices and having fun imagining what my life could have been like things went differently (11/10 recommend. great for the blorbos). babys first midlife crisis at the ripe old age of 21 lol

so without any further ado, them <3

HHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BABIES

*slaps hands* aight so context and premise:

cant be bothered to come up with alternative names and clever refernces for everyone so theyre keeping their greek names lol.

not everyone in the pantheon will make an appearance, this aint keeping up with the olympians (until it is)

the setting is vaguely british lol bc its where i grew up and am more familiar with the system and the norms. ish

they teach both primary and secondary school students (this afaik doesnt exist in the uk but it does here so yeah. will elaborate later)

greek mythology adjacent at best i regrettably know very little of the mythos and my one and only reference is theoi. i will do better i promise. as soon as i graduate

in the mean time pls feel free to tell me all about ur fave myths and works and recommend stuff :D!!

--

art stuff, character design, notes

apollo has heterochromia :3 dunno if u can see it but his eyes are olive green (right) and a teal (left). representing the suns reach over land and sea. ALSO FRECKLES >:D

my girl jazzy has the most boring brown eyes ever. no pools of honey or flecks of gold. just good ol dirt brown. *foreshadowing*

short curly hair somewhere between brown and black for her, and floofy kraft singles waves for him XD

jazzy is a knitwear gremlin (like urs truly lol), 24/7 turtlenecks cardigans jumpers scarfs all of it. her hands (and extremeties) are always cold bc bad circulation and probably dehydration. shush

palettes are warm and earthy for jazzy (wow im so subtle) and cool celestial for apollo (and artemis hehe)

so thats mostly greens esp olive, brown and beige and a healthy sprinkle of rose. le aesthetic is forest/ gremlincore for my girl

and lots of blues esp navy and shiny silver and gold for chaotic academia sunshine boi (TIL astroacademia is a thing and like wow)

arts and moodboards and quotes in this century trust

jazzy is of average height (which to me is 160cm hhhhh and apollo is taller at 180cm. do ur own math we use metric in this household)

--

finally concept idea, plot if u will, notes and backgorund info too:

the first thing i thought of when i opened my eyes was literally apollo and his nine daughters the muses. let me finish

i wish i was joking lol it instantly gripped me but alas i had to go to uni and so it stayed on hold and i havent studied more that 3 pages bc im thinking about them

and by thinking i mean going over the same scene in my head and not doing somethinguseful like say expanding lore. as one does.

anyway yes we have apollo the girl dad of all time who has 9 wondeful daughters of varying ages from fist year of uni to toddler

still mapping out details like if from same mother or several relationships. idk what im doing pls respect my privacy at this time

apollo has 2 degrees bc its cool af to me (my dad has two masters and its been on my bucket list since. i dont know why i am the way that i am either) one in nursing and another in english literature (and a masters in translation bc i can)

he teaches english and history tho and the art afterschool clubs. yes clubs plural. i am insane and so is he.

jazzy is a biomed graduate and is currently pursuing a masters in forensic toxicology (sucks that i hade organic chem this would be fun to write) so she teaches bio. probably part time idk.

i will get to the details of lore and what theyre like and their work ethics etc but i is tired and id really like to finish some work before bed lol so goodnight for now and enjoy and feel free to ask stuff ig :3

[validdisaster]

I Probably Won't Watch MisMag, But I Think I'm Glad It Exists?

I don't know if this is a valid feeling or some kind of misplaced trauma reaction, but when I hear American leftists/liberals joking about jkr or performing reparative or critical versions of Harry Potter, I sometimes feel a deep... I dunno, unease? I could be wrong, but I'm not sure a lot of international people really understand the kind of grip she has on the UK.

This is a country where transgender people were banned from the panels and review boards for the 2024 Cass Report that would define how trans children were treated in schools, the healthcare they have access to, and the support they have, then gave recommendations that will pave the way for making it more challenging for trans people as a whole to move through society with general dignity, respect, and essential medical care. Meanwhile, the new (leftwing) prime minister, who has refused to make any declarative claim about his beliefs on transgender people, made special time for a meeting with jkr in a bid for votes just a few weeks before the election to assure her he would do basically whatever she said to 'support women and girls' (whatever that means to a woman who has designated herself the arbiter of who is 'too masculine' for girlhood). Now, I'll be honest, that was before her descent into minor Holocaust denial and the Olympics bollocks, but long after she started paling around with people in far-right white supremacist circles. Her voice was considered more important than any medical professional who happens to be trans.

Personally, (and this is just my anecdotal experience) I've had family members, colleagues and even an ex-partner parrot lines almost word-for-word from her essay as an excuse to get away with some pretty nasty behaviour, despite never having read it and not knowing where that was where it came from - that's how much she has permeated British society. I have a difficult, strained, or nonexistent relationship with people who meant a whole lot to me and I don't know if that would still be true if J K Rowling hadn't decided to go off one day. People hurt me who might not have. She's able to use the fact that she's the writer of the Harry Potter books as a kind of cover to gain this legitimacy that lets people hand-wave away or not look closer at some of the most unambiguously bad stuff you can do and say. Again, I do have to say, I'm from a not-very-liberal area and the work I do is mostly manufacturing or call centre (so full of not-very-liberal people). Idk if other parts of the UK are different, but I sure as shit can't afford to live in them.

This might be a personal despair that I need to work through, but I'm just not sure any reparative stories set in echoes of Hogwarts can possibly do any good. She's still here, she's still hurting us, she still has more of a voice in British politics and discourse than the rest of us working together can possibly muster and her past seems like more of a shield to the bad things she's currently doing than something that can be reimagined correctively.

To be fully clear, I'm not criticising the mismag crew here, and I'm not criticising international folks (trans or cis) for not knowing the detailed minutia of what's going on in my very unimportant neck of the woods. I'm just trying to work through my feelings about a person who's done a lot of demonstrable harm to me and mine, and the kind of casualness that I feel like her impact gets treated with sometimes.

I get the sense that a lot of (particularly cis or non-british) leftwing circles treat her like such an obviously-bad punchline gremlin that they forget she's still a bogeyman to some of us, I'm still scared of what she'll do next. And it's weird to see people having fun in the funhouse-mirror version of her passion project. Maybe it's jealousy. I loved Harry Potter and Hogwarts for a long time. Maybe I just miss feeling safe there.

I hope there will be a day I feel safe enough to laugh about her. Maybe it's not such a bad thing that other people are there already?

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- Jonathan Ross Show

2013

Part 35

“Shall we get my first guests out ladies and gentlemen?” Jonathan says and the audience immediately cheer saying yes

“You ok?” Louis says

“Hmm?”

“Your looking a bit spaced out” he tells me

“Yeah I’m fine”

“YN what’s up?”

“Liam wants me….”

“It’s One Direction” Jonathan says making me stop what I was about to say. I stand in between Liam and Louis as we walk on the stage area, Jonathan greets the boys by shaking their hands but greets me with a kiss on the cheek. I follow Liam and sit between him and Louis straightening out my dress as I do “we had a little screaming then and we had a lot outside earlier. Do you ever get used to that or does it still surprise you?”

“I don’t think we will ever get used to it” I reply “we’re just so lucky to have such supportive fans who are genuinely excited to see us, not that I understand why still we’re just 5 boys and a girl from the uk who can hold a tune”

“You’ve been in Australia for the last part of tour before going to Japan and YN a little birdie told me you got to meet Liams parents when you were in Melbourne and I know you have asked to keep your relationship with Liam private, but I just have to ask, how was meeting the parents?”

“They we’re lovely and are so supportive”

“Speaking of Australia, Liam you lost your pants there”

“That’s true. It was a really weird experience, quite strange”

“When did you realise they had gone missing?”

“Well this girl half opened the door while I was in bed. It wasn’t YN because she makes herself known. And I just saw this girl peaking in then I ran out with my jogging bottoms on. Later on my security guard saw this girl wearing them at the beach”

“Let’s go back to your love lives. YN we know your dating Liam Hemsworth, but boys, who is the most popular with the ladies” we all immediately point to Niall who then raises his hand

“No hesitation there. Does it differ between country to country?”

“Not a ton but maybe places like japan they like Niall because he’s got blonde hair” Harry says turning to look at Niall

“I think it’s the Irish accent” I suggest

“Could be”

“Now all of you are spoken for except Harry and Niall correct?” We reply with a hum or nod to the head “so your the bachelors of the group then, but to the rest of you it must be hard being away and in a relationship”

“Yeah, but for me like my missus does the same thing so she gets it” Zayn replies

“YN?”

“Mine and Liams relationship is still fairly new so we’re just seeing how each day goes”

Jonathan then starts talking about Harry and how he’s been seen with many woman over the last couple years

“So Harry what are you looking for in a partner?”

“I dunno. I think you just kinda know when you find someone I guess”

“There were rumours about you and YN for a while does that have an effect on relationships?”

“Definitely. Don’t get me wrong YN is beautiful and is just the sweetest person on the planet, but we’re just really close friends” I can almost hear the sadness in his voice saying this, which intern make me feel a little emotional as well

“The rumours can really effect relationships. My ex started to believe them, but thankfully Alex was just an amazing human who didn’t listen”

“And what about Liam?”

“He understands what it’s like. He’s still having rumours going around him and an ex”

Finally we move on from our love lives and we start to talk about our third album coming out

“Who’s the main song writers of the group?”

“These two. Louis and Liam” Niall says pointing to the boys either side of me “they did a lot of the writing on this one” Louis and Liam reach over me and fist bump

“It comes out on the 25th and you’ve announced your single which is story of our life and this one has your parents in it. What a sweet video that is, but YN you have a little tribute to your mum don’t you?”

“I do. When we had the idea for the music video I knew I wanted to have pictures of my mum and some flowers next to it”

“She would be so proud of you but it must have been hard for you since the boys had all their mums on set”

“Yeah it was a rough day, but these boys are part of my family now and their parents are… I can’t even describe to you how much love was on set that day. So many tears were shed from sadness and happiness that day. I also had my dad there on set which helped” Liam and Louis take my hands in theirs and gives them a squeeze.

“YN you are seen crying in the first shot when your developing the photos did you have to reshoot that at all?”

“No Ben Winston who directed the music video wanted it to as pure as possible and he said let all emotions through. It’s going to be another song on tour that I’ll struggle to get through without crying. I think the hardest part was recreating the photos. I obviously wanted a photo of my mum and I, but I couldn’t have that recreated, that’s when Ben suggested a tribute for her”

“That’s really sweet YN. I don’t think anyone will have a dry eye when seeing the video or even listening to it”

We finish up talking to Jonathan and head backstage

“Hey, you ok?” Harry asks

“Yeah” I breathe out

“What was it you wanted to tell us earlier?”

“Liam wants me to move in with him”

“And you don’t want to?” Zayn asks

“Maybe in the future but right now, no. We’ve not been dating that long. I don’t know”

“Well whatever you decide, we’re always here for you” Niall says hugging me

“Thank you”

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "A Dish Served Odd" Episode Followup, Part 1

As opposed to cold, which, really, would just freeze your mouth and your brain.

We continue the followup train with one for "A Dish Served Odd". This one will also be split into multiple parts, though I don't think we'll amass a whole five pa- five parts?

Five parts...dear God.

Below the break, get Orli the tourist, a trifler who trifles trifingly, and Odd Squad: The Movie. (Okay, I'm sketchy on that last one, but no one's mentioned it yet besides me and I need my curiosity satisfied.)

And as usual, make sure you've watched the episode first before proceeding. There will be spoilers.

Let's start with the intro, which has, of course, Orli narrating it. Now that her character has been revealed in the flesh, we can have her take over narrating duties from Captain O.

Now, as for this thing...capital sin against Olive. Go to jail. No cards can get you out.

I see they have no qualms about dropping the spoiler of Opie being promoted to the Department of Help.

I also see Orla will have some competition in the violin-playing department.

The difference here, of course, is that we will get no lesbian French brides. Instead we have gay triangle villain, and that is enough for me.

(I do want more, though. But PBS has always been minefield-walking on this stuff.)

Only a few new bits in the intro; otherwise everything else is recycled.

Except for this shot, which the fandom has analyzed to hell and back. I don't really feel like throwing in my two cents just yet; still weighing on doing a Seren's Study where I put in my "once and for all" opinions on the season/series.

And your writer for this episode. I...can't say much about him, because 1) I haven't done the research on him yet and 2) I need to get over the Lightning McQueen brainrot first before I do so.

Also 3) WE GOT COLD OPENS AGAIN PEOPLE. AFTER SEASON 3 KICKED THEM TO THE MOON AND STOLE THEIR KIDNEYS. GOD MOTHERFUCKIN'.

Your producer credit, which is...pretty much the same. Methinks she'll be producing throughout all of this season, so I'm not going to point it out every time.

Bold of this announcer to assume she's not going to eat an egg and a few wings. She can do that. She's an adult.

An adult with...braces, which I'm pretty sure was 100% intentional casting for representing every parent in existence who has braces. How we went from a child with Down syndrome to an adult with braces, and how we'll later go to gay triangle villain, is beyond me.

If you're not going to hire fans to work for you, at least hire some disabled people, huh? (And maybe they do hire them...but I dunno, you'd think we'd actually hear about it in an interview, y'know?)

Wow, that tomato really just up and yoted itself.

Lettuce observe this very important lesson- *bonk*

So with this, we get a first look at Ozzie's and Orli's new desks. Quite a vast difference from the desks in the original series/S1 and S2 -- we have fancy new chairs, Microsoft computers over Apple ones, and desks that actually have a lil' shelf underneath them but, as far as I can see, no drawers. I dig it!

Orli up and snatchin' the paper out of Ozzie's hands is funny, too.

"Done? What done?"

"Everything done."

"...Orli, it's only been a minute and 40 seconds."

"Hey, this episode is about me going out on the town. It's not about us sitting at our desks all day. Get with the program, partner."

SHE TAKES MORNING A N D AFTERNOON NAPS?!?!?!?!?!

I'm sorry, this does make sense considering where she was before, but the fact that the girl requires a morning nap and then an afternoon one already makes my fucking day.

How she's able to even sleep within THE FUCKING NIAGARA FALLS is beyond me, though and I can only assume the answer is "I put small animal tranq in my juice, twice a day."

(Look, in the Oddverse, tranq is Fancy NyQuil. Everyone loves Fancy NyQuil. It's like liquid opioids, for kids, safe to take!)

Ozzie outright commenting on said naps being twice a day was something I was not expecting, and now I'm laughing way too loudly for 2 in the morning.

In Ozzie's absolute lack of defense...partners solving cases without each other is fairly common. If he were familiar with Olive and Otto, and Olympia and Otis, he'd, y'know...probably know that shit.

"Don't you think we should do this on our day off?" the idiot asks, knowing that Orli being there does not solve the oddness crisis despite what "Odd Ones In" wants people to believe and that "a day off" does not exist as a concept.

Assholery and stupidity all within the first two episodes. Sweet Jesus.

A sightseeing tour happening once every decade is not exactly something you wanna put in a "Come to Britain" ad.

Five years, I can look over. Ten years, not a chance in hell.

HA!!! IT'S THE SCENE FROM THE TRAILER I CALLED IT YA HACKS. GOD I'M GOOD AT MY UNPAID JOB.

*silly giggle and another mark on the bingo card*

"And all the world shall know my name!" this idiot says, unaware that the Villain Network was a thing a good four years prior to this episode.

"Terrible..."

"DELICIOUS...and if you say otherwise then I really will call that toe-eating, finger-eating boogeyman."

This fuckass argument about desserts within an 11-minute episode...I'm not even mad it's eating up runtime. I'm living for the absolute sass Captain O is laying on her subordinate right now.

SHE HAS TO BRING IN SOMEONE WHO WORKED ON HER SHIP TO SETTLE A GODDAMN TRIFLE DEBATE. WHERE IS MY SPARE LUNG. WHERE IS MY S P A R E L U-

If you had asked me a few months back what I thought Captain O's ringtone would be, I'd have laughed and said, "You fuckin' nuts? Same ringtone as nearly everybody else."

If you had asked me today what I thought Captain O's ringtone would be, I'd have shivered and said, "Not a horrifying mix of a tuba and a fucking foghorn, that's for sure..."

"Ahoy ahoy."

...Close enough, marking it off on the bingo card.

This is the live-action reenactment of a real-time Facebook post.

And I may not be on Facebook anymore, but I don't think the way people post has changed. Much. Not...in...y'know, with the boomers...y-you should get what I mean, surely.

Gotta say, she's a hell of a lot more enthusiastic than creepy Oceana, ambiguously-gay Octavius...no, wait, he was enthusiastic too, I take that back.

And Mr. Fonts. Definitely more enthusiastic than Mr. Fonts.

"And one person is more than enough, don't you think?"

Someone better get the woman a shushing stick.

No, not for shushing. For bopping over the head with. Get her a box of Gushers and really make her day, huh?

I will say, with all these new editing tricks and transitions and such, it's an incredibly jarring jump from Season 3. I mean, Odd Squad UK is a spinoff, so it being so distinct from Odd Squad and Odd Squad Mobile Unit it barely feels like either at first makes sense...

But in 12 episodes? No fuckin' way am I gonna get used to that.

Y- lady. LADY. This is why America has online library catalogs. FOR THIS EXACT REASON.

Name of the book, author, boom, photo. You don't even have to use the catalog -- Amazon or any bookstore chain will do!

How in the everloving fuck they managed to clean all the trifle off of the photo and brighten it so the toolbox shows up as red instead of dark-chocolate brown is so beyond me it's outta the Milky Way.

(On to Part 2!)

[artkaolinite91]

What songs you listen to would represent each of your ATLA and Genshin ships? Like Scaramona, Captino x Mauvika and others.

Helloo!! What an interesting question~ xD

I have several songs related to my ships, but I am gonna replied with a song which I vividly can imagine my ships interaction etc, (MV styles) in my mind 😄 (some even inspired by the original MV of the songs itself)

List below

ATLA

Zutara : Eden - Sarah Brightman

I thought of them before I even saw the official MV, but it was fire and water related theme too! How awesome!

Genshin

Zhongguang: Honeymoon Un Deux Trois- Dateken

I saw the MMD of them together with this song, and becoming my Zhongguang otp soundtrack ever since

Bennebara: Suki Kirai -HoneyWorks

also from MMD hahaha

Dottolisa: Kala Cinta Menggoda -Chrisye

I kinda headcanon Dottore's singing voice gonna be similar to Chrisye (Indonesia musician) and everytime I listen to this song I can vividly see them in Akademiya era (thus why I made a reel video for them with this song hehe)

Scaramona: Spider Thread Monopoly - Sasakure UK

This song is interesting because it's not actually a love song, but I think it's one of their song for vibes and angst! I think the boy in the MV very like Wanderer while he was still the Scaramouche...while the girl could be Mona, but I think she's the red thread of fate herself.. xD I think it just poetic

Hailou: Her Wishes - Hoyomix

Well, since my headcanon of Alhaitham and Nilou as King Deshret and Nabu Malikata reincarnation, respectively....this song and that one specific oasis area becoming their ost..hehehe

Neuvia: //not yet found any :(

Still searching..

Mavuitano: On our way home- Empire of the sun

Have you ever see the MV? It's them!! 🥹 The female hairpiece looks so pretty and like a Sun, while the male seems like some sort of knight.. it's angst too...

HSR

Sampostelle: Ride - Lana del rey

I dunno, it's actually not really 'them' but I kinda imagine Stelle singing this song to some of her favorite people and ofc Sampo too..haha (I also made a reel video with this one song)

One Piece

Lunami: Love Story - Indila

This song, I really love the phrase 'King' which mentioned almost at the end of the song.. I also have a sketched video using this song...need to finished it someday hehe

Frobin: //not yet found any :(

Sanpu: I don't know you - the Marias

I saw this song via my sister recommendation during WCI arc, the man in this MV looks like irl Sanji for me and my sis hahaha (and that was before OPLA even a thing)

Thanks for reading, what's your otp song? :D

[rei-does-stuff]

Don’t be a coward.

France x America

This gives me an excuse to put my fic abt them here!

Context My France and America aren’t related like most other peoples hcs bc I’m an annoying contrarian

And I find the will they won’t they dynamic, friendly flirting between them a way funner dynamic, they aren’t together but they’re definitely at least a little into each other even if they won’t act on it

UK hates it bc hes hopelessly in love with france even tho she DOES NOT like him in the slightest like at all, like 0% like he is NEVER GONNA WIN HER EVER

Okay? Okay time for the bad fanfic now <3

—

Already the UK found this party atmosphere stifling, being a literal demon from hell usually had its perks but being the only who couldn’t get drunk wasn’t one of them. And god he wished he could drink away the sight before him.

“Oh Amé! You look ridiculous! Do you even know how to wear a tux properly? I swear the only thing you even know how to wear are those ugly sunglasses!” France teased.

“Ugly? Oh now you’re just insulting my poor heart! It’s very fragile, you know?” America said, feigning offense.

“Oh I bet, is that why you can’t even button your shirt properly?” France said as she went close to fix America’s clothes herself.

“Well if you have so many opinions maybe you should just dress me yourself?” America told her with a wink.

“Maybe I should, you’d look a lot better.”

“Oh so I already do look good?”

“Oh don’t flatter yourself, god knows your ego is big enough.” France laughed as she handed America a pocket mirror. “There we go, you look a million times better!”

“Well look at that! I guess ya have some talent!” America said as he looked at himself with France’s mirror.

“Don’t push your luck with me.”

“Oo scary! You could kill me that with that stare!” America teased.

“I hope I can, wipe that smug smile off your face for once!”

“Can’t help it with that priceless reaction of yours Frenchy! Why don’t I get you another glass of wine as a thank you gift? Hm?”

“Oh now you’re just trying to bribe me!” France scoffed.

“I didn’t hear a no!”

“Oh shut up! Hurry up, I don’t like waiting you know? Better make it two, as an apology for having to deal with you.”

“You got it baby!”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Can’t hear you, getting your wine!” America called out as he goes off to get France her wine. UK could have sworn he saw her smile a little.

As America went over to the bar he could see the UK glaring at him. “Woah, what’s with the scary look old man?” He asked.

“You did that on purpose didn’t you?”

“Did what?”

“Dress all ridiculous! You were trying to get her attention, that’s cheap even for you!” The UK said bitterly.

“Uh? Duh? It worked didn’t it? You sound angry man!” America almost immediately realized what was going on though. Surprising, for him. “Ohh right, you’re like really into France aren’t you? Oh you must’ve been pretty pissed huh? Ha! Oh man, I was wondering why you were creep-watching us you weirdo!” He laughed.

“You’re not funny.”

“She doesn’t think so! Oh don’t look at me like that, I’m not gonna do anything like THAT. I ain’t into French girls.” America said nonchalantly.

“So what’s even the point?”

“Uh? Because I’m a grown ass man who can do whatever the hell he wants. Plus knowing it pisses you makes me wanna do it even more? Maybe I should sleep with her now honestly….Relax! Relax! Stop death glaring at me I’m only kidding!”

“What the hell does she even see in you? You’re a mess!” The UK exclaimed.

“A hot, funny, charming mess! That’s my appeal! Sorry to say but most women aren’t into sad bitter old men dude.” America said.

“I can be charming!”

“Can you though? I mean even Germany can get a date and he’s not even into that crap!” America said, he looked back at France who looked like she was getting impatient. “Ah shit! Gotta run, look man, instead of sitting here brooding and watching us like a weirdo, try to do something! Or I dunno, maybe try getting with someone else cause she is INTO me!” He laughed as he left with the wine.

UK growled seeing them talking, but the twat’s words did kick in, probably wasn’t a good idea to keep staring at him, if he was gonna get France’s attention be was gonna have to try harder…

But for now the sight of them together was making him sick enough to leave, tomorrow though? He’d make sure that American stood no chance against him.

—

Basically UK gets cucked, the fic! Not that great but I haven��t written ch stuff in a bit so shhhhh

[ridmymind]

Hey there

Deleted my ig platform for good

I accidentally viewed my ecs gf and I was crushed by the cringeness

I do no want to partake in such foolish behavior like DO REMEBER TO SHINE✨

Not my cup of tea

One time he said he didn’t like girls if they have an unnatural hair color. LIES✨✨✨

Also she is nothing special and that’s the most shocking thing

Thinkin if she knows bout his cousin and all the cult things. Thinking if anything was true at all.

I was suspecting she was in the CIA or something. No way, she s just a girl with a giant nose -he said he like ugly nose on girl I dunno its a thing-

I guess another person would have contact her to send screens and whatever BUT IM NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS IM PROTECTING MY PEACE. Jk i don’t want to. Its a matter of time she s going to discover how shallow he is. And if that s not going to happen, well. Good luck, babe. I was wrong the first time I talked to him and he said was on ketogenic diet, I guess. I studied medicine. Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on you. They studied like political science. Pls. I was so embarrassed for him I swear. Shame on you and that’s the end. Shes like his therapist, nutritionist and all the other figures he had to follow in order to being good with himself, having a person that tell him what to do. I am legit furious cause he knows everything bout my situation and he did not tell me the truth. And he was acting like he was mr right all the time. I even edited part of his thesis. Of course i’m mad. Now i can tell a garbage narcissist way sooner. Maybe i have to activate my account only to haunt him. But at what cost?

I have lost my voice.

My spirit is broken.

Life on social media is fake af.

Nevertheless, I’ll post. Not to mock anyone. Just to take space.

I need to take space

He didn’t know me at all. I am a poet and a person in stem. A painter and a doctor. An artist and a mad scientist. A kind person that want to make others happy and well. And i have a strong moral compass. I’m a reader and a writer. I play piano, guitar and uke. I can do my own hair. I have good taste in fashion choice. I listen to english podcast at 2x. I loved alternative stuff all my life. And I was the best in everything I ve done so far. If I was the man, I’ll be THE man.

He Was just a boy who play pretend to be an adult

Was just a boy that’s smell like my grandpa used to. And that’s telling about me.

I thought she was a ballerina. An actress. A beautiful girl. Or an accomplished ones. I thought she hasn’t social media. That she was cooler than me. Poor thing.

If I ll get past these health problems the next page I wanna do is an uku learn with me

Im speechless. Logically speaking they have nothing to do with me. I m educated, have studied a lot, has so many interests. We haven’t the same culture at all. The same moral values. He s just a follower. She will have his babies. And he ll continue to do what is in his nature. BEING A BAD BAD BAD HUMAN BEING. But i m very emotional disregulated so I can’t do a logic argument. I just want to talk sit about them with my bff. Like any other girl.

A fellow student I can’t. I thought she was a neurologist. That was helping his sister. I thought she was his teacher. I have over estimated this guy so much. It costed me years of my life. Maybe she s p3ggin him rn. I don’t think so but.

However i m slowly transitioning in the man I d like to date. Maybe i like myself too much, and we shared similar facial features. I know what she is at least.

And thats me, rockin my hair cut and i’m cute as hell🥲

[megan-loves-surveys]

#26.

Do you have a large dog? If not, are you afraid of them? No, and it depends on the dog.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? No.

Who is your favorite photographer? No idea.

Were you shy in high school? Somewhat.

Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? Yes, my boyfriend has an earring.

Do you actually love your parents? Yes.

Do you know anyone autistic? Not that I know of.

Do you like your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s parents? Unfortunately, both of them have passed away so I'll never get to meet them.

Do you like Polaroid photography? Not really.

Who was the last family member of yours that died? My Grandma.

Do you have any gay family members? Yes, one of my cousins. I'm also bisexual myself lol.

Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? No lol, I watch it too xD

What is your favorite type of cat? Any, cats are adorable.

Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? My boyfriend... and my Dad.

Were you raised by someone other than your parents? No.

What’s the last chore you did? Just cleaning up in general.

What is your favorite jungle animal? Dunno.

Is your father injured? No.

Are you part Native American? No.

What are your pets’ names? -

Have you ever worked two jobs? No.

What are the names of all the dogs you’ve ever owned? I've never owned a dog.

Would you ever get a face tattoo? God no.

Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Dunno.

What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? That I looked retarded.

Who have you most feared in your life? Dunno.

What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? I dont want kids, so I always want the option if I accidentally get pregnant.

What one natural thing would you most like to see? Hmm.

Do you like the game Tetris? Sure.

What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? Oh, don't ask, I'll get in trouble.

Have you ever wanted to be a model? No.

Do you like your name how it’s spelled? Yes, it's the proper way :P I don't like when they add all the extra letters to it, like H and A and that.

Who was your first online friend? Zoe, probably. Not the Zoe I knew in NZ, she was from the UK and was a Blue fan - we met on a Blue fansite haha. We were friends for years! I wonder what she's doing these days.

Your last ex: how did you two get together? We were set up by friends of ours.

Does your mom dye her hair? Yep, her hair is currently like a pinkish red xD I get my love of dying my hair from her.

What’s the best kind of video game? (Adventure, shooting, etc) I love Pokémon, adventure games, strategy games and those 'choices matter' games, plus games like Cyberpunk 2077 & LA Noire that is open world but has a storyline to follow.

Do you know anyone who has road rage? One of my friends lol, he swears constantly when he drives, we get into a small traffic jam and he's like "GET OUT MY WAY CUNT!" out the window lmao.

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No.

Have you ever tried to break up anyone because YOU liked the guy/girl? I don't do shit like that. I have had a crush on a friend's boyfriend before but I kept it to myself and didn't do anything about it cos I'm not an asshole.

Do you draw fanart of anything? No.

What was the last music video you watched? Did you like it? I watched Ladies Night by Atomic Kitten cos it's one of my faves and I hadn't seen it in ages.

What’s a condition you have that you haven’t been officially diagnosed with? Dunno.

Which one of your parents do you think is smarter? My Dad. My Mum is smart, but I think my Dad outdoes her.

Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? Yes, I'm currently backing a Kickstarter for a Broken Sword remake! I can't wait to get my bonuses for it.

What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None of them, cos they've all split up and got back together so I'm used to it.

Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? No.

Can grills be sexy on a guy? No.

What’s your favorite comic book/graphic novel? That's not really my thing.

Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I like both.

Do you find it easy to pass the time or do you get really bored? Depends.

Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? No.

Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? My boyfriend.

What was the title of the last song you listened to? "Bad Kind Of Butterflies" (by Camila Cabello)

Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? They're all the lead singer.

Do you expect to be married in the next 2 years? No.

Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No.

Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend.

Is there an item that you bought on a whim, but now consider it a crucial part of your life and you would or have purchased it again? TBH, I decided out of the blue I wanted a FitBit and now I can't live without mine.

What flags do you have in your room, if any? None.

What was the last thing you ate? A banana.

What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Tornados.

Do you or your parents rake your yard? We don't have a yard.

If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Friends online.

What do you think of the ‘Healthy At Every Size’ movement/philosophy? It's stupid.

Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? Work.

Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? Some random.

Did you enjoy high school? Yes, mostly.

What’s an unusual food combination you like? Hmm, not sure.

What’s the longest stretch of time you’ve spent completely alone? A few days over New Year's once, my Mum went to stay with my Grandma and I stayed at home, I didn't even go out lol.

Did your parents allow you to drink soda when you were a kid? Yes, but only on occasion.

Did you ever go through an emo or goth phase? No.

How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? None.

Do you take a walk every day? I try to.

Who was your favourite musical artist when you were 15? Do you still listen to them? Blue and Girls Aloud, and yep still a huge fan of them!

When was the last time you ate at a food court and what did you get? Last week, I had KFC haha.

How do you like your eggs cooked? Poached or fried.

What’s your favourite place to go on vacation? The USA, but I haven't been since 2019. Thanks Covid.

Have you ever done your own compost? No.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your hand or foot? Nah.

Do you open your doors and windows on warm days? Windows, yes. I feel like I'm suffocating in the warmer weather with them closed.

Are the blinds/curtains in the room open or closed right now? Open.

Were you mean to anyone in high school? No.

Have you ever accidentally started a fire? No, the closest I got was doing popcorn in the microwave and it exploded lol.

What is the last note you edited in your phone’s notes app? My shopping list of things I need to get.

Who is your favourite coworker? You can tell me about one from your past if you don’t have one right now. Hmm, probably Elaine, she's an older woman who is at the next desk to me when I do data entry. She's hilarious, she bakes a lot and always shares with me and doesn't mind swapping shifts with me - this week I wanted Monday off so she switched with me, I took her Friday shift and she took Monday.

Do you know anyone who’s adopted a child? No.

What was the last video game or board game you purchased? I bought a bunch off Steam a bit back.

Are any of your siblings taller than you? -

Name a song that reminds you of a past relationship: Hmm.

Have you ever seen a building on fire in real life? Yes, I remember in our last house, one of the houses down the street caught on fire and completely burnt down.

Have you kissed anyone and their first name started with an F, D, or L? Yes.

Have you ever been in therapy for anything? No.

Is there any part of your sexual/romantic history that you have not told your current significant other about or that you will not tell future partners about? No, my boyfriend knows everything.

Have you ever developed feelings for someone whose sexual orientation was incompatible with yours? Yes. One of my friends is sooooo damn hot, but he swings the other way lol.

How many relationships have you been in that actually got sexual? Most of them.

Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? Lynnette probably.

Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with? My boyfriend.

Last person to tell you that you smell good? My boyfriend xD

Last person you told that they smell good? See above haha.

Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were? His name was Cameron, and I think they were blue but I'm not sure.

Which edible flowers have you tasted? None.

What was the last video you added to your favorites on YouTube? Not sure.

Do any of your family members have an upcoming birthday? Yep.

Is your favorite animal endangered? No, it's cats xD

What is the middle name of the last person you texted? Daniel.

Have you ever come close to drowning? No.

What’s the cutest thing your S/O does, but denies it’s cute in any way? He pouts, and then denies he pouts LOL.

Have you ever dined alone at a restaurant? Not a proper restaurant but at like cafes and stuff, yeah.

Have you ever changed in front of the last person you kissed? Yes.

Have you experienced any severe side effects of medications? Yes - I took antibiotics a few years ago and they gave me a super bad rash and diarrhoea. Found out I'm allergic to that kind!

Have you ever had a big YouTuber reply to a comment you left on their video? Yep.

Have you ever given a lap dance? Yes, as a joke xD

Do a lot of people tell you that you are funny? Not a lot, but on occasion people have said I am haha.

Have you gone to a tanning bed lately? No.

What did you do on the Fourth of July? I'm not American.

Do you have nice legs? I like to think so. I have a short torso so I'm mostly leg haha.

Have you ever been to Ohio? No.

Do you like The Goonies? Never seen it.

Do you prefer hardly toasted at all or burnt toast? Not burnt, but very toasted.

Do you have any unusual skills? Depends what you consider 'unusual'.

Do you have any bug bites right now? No.

Is there anything annoying you at the moment? Yes. I had caffeine in my Starbucks and now it's making me weird lol, I keep forgetting to ask them not to add any.

Are there any forms of art you personally find pointless? Nah, some of it isn't my thing but it means a lot to other people.

Do you have any projects on the go right now? No.

Are you a hat person? On occasion.

Has anyone ever approached you in the street and asked to take your picture? No haha.

What song’s stuck in your head? Cody Rhodes' entrance theme cos he was on SD earlier and it was playing for awhile haha.

Do your feelings get hurt easily? Not really.

Have you ever seen a cougar in the wild? No.

When was the last time you took a selfie? The other day.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? No.

Do you have a good relationship with your cousins? i don't see them much, but we did get along.

Are there any upcoming events for you to look forward to? Sure.

How many siblings does your significant other have? He has two brothers.

Have you ever done three or more shots in a row? Not in a row xD

What was the last zoo you visited? I think the one in Washington DC.

[dangermousie]

One of the things I really love about this relationship is how she manages to turn all the bad things that happen to him into assets - or not turn them per se but recast it as something that is an asset. It’s a mindset shift and I love it so.

Her motivation style is kind of terrifying and I think won’t work for most people but something unyielding, desperate and stark in her and something unyielding, desperate and stark in him resonate. She trained as a means to stay alive and now he does too. And honestly, what other method of training does she even know?

This is here just because I like Uk looking determined as he practices like a maniac.

Someone finally figured it out!

I got to say the subplot of secondary girl is - lady, listen to Bleach Boy:

But she never will!

Oh well, still better than secondary guy who is nice but bores me; OTP interlopers always do except for: DRUMROLL: in another drama, I could totally ship Naksu with the Crown Prince because he’s so dim and immature but totally into her and I dunno, their dynamic rocks.

I do love that Uk has figured out he likes her tho I am not sure if he’s figured out how romantic that liking is:

 And then he uses that bird/egg thing she said to describe him and I love how it stuck with him.

PS His trying to get jealousy from her is AMAZING!

She has no thought of romance when she says that but his FACE!

[tonyglowheart]

trying to decide if I like Andrea's Boleyn best because that was the first one I meaningfully saw so it's like, primacy effect, or if I rly do prefer her portrayal like the thing is. I really do like her take on it, I think she balanced the comedy of the role really well. her portrayal is like the one I feel like I can argue that the archetype they're playing for Anne in SIX is like the Marilyn Monroe dumb blonde "say, they told me you were stupid!"

like, she somehow infuses a like note of irony to her comedy that makes it like oooh she's PLAYING dumb, not actually dumb! Even the part when she's like, I don't get it. I guess sort of like the Paris Hilton persona/voice thing she does? But yeah I feel like the West End versions I've seen with the HAH for the (politics) not my thing is like... too much. like overcompensating ig? I dunno I just don't feel like it works for me.

also I think I just rly like the Cyndi Lauper Girls Just Wanna Have Fun vibe more than the Avril Lavigne Girlfriend vibe (sorry, I don't know the British reference so I can only use this) that it seems like the UK performances tend to have, just seems to fit a play on AB better. And also I think gives a more... mature Anne? Like I mean don't get me wrong, she still has youthful energy, and is still impetuous and all of that. But just, I think the West End version just reads TOO young for me. I see comments where ppl say "oh it makes her seem like the youngest of the bunch!" and just, I don't love that.

Anyways also, I think Andrea gives fantastic rocker chick at the climax, and her I'M NOT SORRY is amaazing showstopping breathtaking, changed the scene. I think starting in that more, like, "why mister, I couldn't POSSIBLY"/OOPS I did it again coyness with a note of irony to it, and then going to unapologetic rocking out really gave an arc to the song that like, had it go somewhere. Whereas the more rocker rebel vibe Anne's just come off a bit too one-note for my taste.

And also the way she poses at the very end for the spotlight lmao, very simple elegant straight on with a Mona Lisa smile. just beautiful, stunning. you really don't need to do a whole lot to make a ton of impact. The queens I've seen who do that sort of rocker pose at the end, I think it sort of skews the spotlight so it's not just singled on their face anymore, they're casting shadows on their face with their angle choices. But yeah I think Andrea's Anne, she takes us on a whole arc and story and by the end, you're like... ooh damn okay maybe she IS all that, maybe she IS fitter, she has the je ne sais quoi obviously she miscalculated but it's not ALL youthful arrogance

[theasstour]

𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟐𝟎.𝟐𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭

A/N: Thank you so incredibly much to each one of you angels who voted for ST in the 1D Craft Awards 🥺 You continue to take my breath away with all your kindness, support and love 🐚🌊✨ ENJOYYY CHAPTER 7! x

Saturday, 25 July

The phone vibrated against the wooden table, jolting Y/N out of her focus. She blinked a few times, looking over at Fatima who turned the timer off and looked at Y/N with expectant eyes. Y/N shook her head and Fatima’s face visibly fell.

“What you mean?”

“I didn’t finish, did I?” Y/N groaned, running her hands over her face, hiding it from view for a few seconds before she sat back in her chair and looked at her laptop in front of her. The two were sitting at Olive’s Café on Island Square, seated on lime green chairs outside, the morning sun beating down on them as each of them tried to do work; Fatima looking through the curriculum she was going to teach this coming year, and Y/N doing her UCAT work. Fatima was a teacher for fourth graders, so she knew how to make things easy to understand, how to pull things apart and study properly. When Fatima had suggested that the two of them take a day together to just study, Y/N had jumped at the opportunity. Now, they had met to do exactly this a few days in a row and Y/N was really starting to feel the effects.

The thought of the UCAT exam coming closer and closer made her want to hurl. September 10th didn’t seem that far away anymore, something that absolutely terrified Y/N. Not only did she need to be out of St Ives by then, leaving her entire life and friends here behind, but she didn’t know where she’d even be. Would she even have enough money? Would she still be in Cornwall? Would she have crawled with her tail between her legs back to Winchester, asking for forgiveness for leaving them all behind?

Fatima pursed her lips, tapping her pen against the top of Y/N’s laptop. “Is it ‘cause you’re stressing too much?”

“Probs.”

“It’s hard not to when it’s important to you.”

Y/N sighed heavily, nodding her head in agreement. “This practice exam… well, it was hard.”

“They usually are, the practice exams,” Fatima explained. “Not necessarily so to scare you, more so that you’ll be aware that this will be hard, but the actual exam isn’t that bad. They never are.”

Y/N gave Fatima a little smile. “Taken the UCAT before?”

“Obvs, I’m the smartest bitch in all of the UK, if not Europe.”

Y/N laughed, quickly sighing again as she looked down at her laptop again. This was the first practice exam she had ever taken; Fatima had timed her to see if she’d make it in the estimated time it took to complete the UCAT, but Y/N hadn’t managed to. She supposed she still had a lot of time to study and prepare herself, but it still made her feel like all her studying had been for absolutely nothing. One failure, even if it didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things, always seemed like the most important thing in the world. How had the world not shifted? How was not everyone around her crying like she felt she should be doing?

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Y/N. I promise you’ll be fine.”

She nodded, knowing deep down that Fatima was right. The universe would balance itself out eventually, everything would be alright in the end even if her current world was crumbling right before her eyes. Maybe she was just being dramatic, maybe it wasn’t that deep and she had just not been focused enough, but Y/N felt like giving up now.

“When I feel like I’m failing at life,” Fatima started, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat. “I pick up a pillow and I just scream into it.”

Y/N blinked.

Fatima grinned.

“You just scream? How?”

“Just like you’d normally scream,” Fatima chuckled, demonstrating by pretending to pick up a pillow, burying her face in it, and silently screaming. “And after that, I feel better.”

“Like a proper scream?”

“Like you’re being chased down the street by a man in a clown costume holding an axe.”

Y/N smiled, shaking her head some. “I’ll do that when I get back to the Inn. Immediately.”

Fatima laughed just as someone came up beside them, asking the man sitting beside them if the chair opposite him was taken. When the tiny, short-haired blonde sat down beside them, she beamed from ear to ear. There was something about Ellie’s presence that just made everything better. She was so round, so small, so joyous all the time that it felt wrong to be in a sulky mood when she was around.

“I heard you’re studying,” Ellie said, perching her yellow sunglasses on the top of her head. “And by the looks of it-“ Ellie mimicked what Fatima had just done with the scream. “-It’s not going so well.”

“Y/N’s studying for that dentist test and she tried one of them practice exams, didn’t go so well.”

“Aww.” Ellie pouted. “I’ll buy you a cupcake to cheer you up. I always eat tons when I’m sad, especially sweets. Especially, especially cupcakes.”

“Thanks for the offer, but-“

“-Ima, you want a cupcake as well?” Ellie put her purse down on her chair as she got up, holding onto her card. “Or a new iced latte?”

Fatima brought a hand to her chin, pretending to think about it, making exaggerated thinking noises till Ellie blurted a “today!” that made Fatima chuckle and say, “Both please, babe.”

Ellie smiled. “Girls, you know what I think we should do after this?” She waited for a few seconds for either of them to say something, but when they didn’t Ellie went on. “Go to the beach! You can’t be sad when you’re at the beach! We’ll sunbathe, have a bit of a swim, and then go for a Cheeky V at the pub after.”

Fatima smiled a little, looking at Y/N to see if she’d be into that.

Though all Y/N wanted to do was go back to the Inn and scream into her pillow, she smiled up at Ellie. “Yeah, why not? Have a bit of a girls day.”

“Oh, my gosh, that’s exactly what it is as well,” Ellie gasped, grinning from ear to ear. “BRB, ladies, I’m getting us something sweet.” Ellie was off into Olive’s Café greeting an acquaintance loudly before she went over to talk to them. Fatima only shook her head some, turning back to the book in front of her.

“You’ll figure it out, Y/N.”

“The UCAT?” she asked, looking at her laptop again, feeling her stomach drop at the sight of the practice exam again.

“Everything,” Fatima answered with so much conviction that for a moment, Y/N almost believed her.

“Alright, crew,” Dax called as they pulled into the farm, its lush and green landscape opening up around them. “Just warning you now, I’m gonna absolutely crush you tonight. I go for the title of champion even if it means I’m gonna have to lose some friends.”

“Sad, that,” Fatima sighed. “Seeing as you’ve never won before, what makes you think you’re gonna win this year?”

Amir turned to look at them from where he sat shotgun. “Dax, you may try to win, but we all know the former singer and frontman of Astronaut Lions will go home champion tonight.”

“You are a terrible singer, Amir. Dunno why we let you even sing,” Jo groaned.

“’Cause I’ve got a silky-smooth, delicious, fantastic-“

“-Shut up, mate!” Ellie groaned, making Jo laugh and give her a high five.

Harry stopped his van, killing the engine before Dax got up and opened the door for everything in the backseats. Y/N made sure no one could see her bum as she descended from the car, keeping her hands by her buttocks to keep her pleated lilac skirt from showing too much of her skin. She put her purse on her shoulder, letting it hang over her white crop cardigan. Music could be heard from the large barn, some awful singing streamed out from the open entrance as people walked out, laughing and carrying empty plates. The farm was just as beautiful as Y/N remembered it, now smelling of delicious barbeque and sounding of hens, chatter, and the occasional failed high-note. The karaoke night seemed to be under full way, the courtyard brimming with people, the same went for the inside of the barn it seemed.

Y/N, Fatima and Ellie fell into step beside one another as they walked over to the gate, Harry opening it for the rest, gesturing for them to walk in before him. When Y/N reached him last he gave her a little smile, eyes falling to the gravel under his feet.

“Harry!” Grace yelled, running from the grill where Uncle Tim, Jessa, and lolo stood looking at the food. “Harry, Harry, Harry!”

“There she is!” Harry bent down as Grace came running, wrapping his arms around her and spinning her around, her feet dangling in the air.

“Alright, Mr Flores?” Dax asked as he walked up to the grill, putting a hand on lolo’s shoulder. Lolo grinned up at Dax, saying something that Y/N didn’t catch as Amir let out a loud groan hitting his chest with both hands.

“Let’s go! Gonna belt Material Girl in approximately five minutes, everyone come watch to have your life changed!” Amir ran into the barn, shouting something as he met a few familiar faces inside.

“After a few pints he’ll try Gentleman,” Fatima sighed. “Someone should cover Gracie’s ears then.”

“That SL song?” Jo asked. “Nah, he better do Wiley Flow, or else I’m gonna have to challenge him to a rap battle.”

“Amir’s got no chance of keeping up with any of Stormzy’s songs,” Ellie pointed out matter-of-factly, scrunching up her nose. “Anyway,” Ellie stopped Jo before they started talking. “We’re doing Sugababes, yeah? About You Now?”

“Obvs!” Fatima exclaimed, offended that Ellie might’ve thought otherwise. “And Y/N’s joining us.”

“Oh!” Y/N raised her eyebrows, chuckling a little as Fatima wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard a Sugababes song.”

“They’re immense, aren’t they?” Ellie grinned. “I used to listen to Push The Button on repeat when I was like 12.”

“Was more of a Too Lost in You type of girl,” Y/N said, making Fatima gasp and Ellie bring a hand up to her chest.

“We’re doing Too Lost in You!” Ellie clapped her hands frantically. “Oh, my life! Legendary!”

“Of course,” Fatima smiled. “You wanna sing, yeah?”

“Let me down three ciders and I’ll be good to go.”

Jo laughed, gesturing for Y/N to follow them over to the main house where the four of them helped themselves to something to drink. Y/N glanced out of the kitchen window at the Styles-Flores family where they stood by the grill, sipping her cider. Grace sat on Harry’s shoulders, hands in his hair as she giggled at something. Harry had both his hands wrapped around his little sister’s ankles, holding her in place. Jessa was grinning at the two while Uncle Tim stood talking by the grill, asking lolo if what he was doing was alright, not having grilled this specific type of Filipino dish before. Dax stood chatting to one of Harry’s aunts, if it was Rachel or Abby, Y/N could not for the life of herself remember, but she noticed Harry’s aunt’s kids running around the grill, shouting at one another and laughing.

Y/N had never experienced a dynamic like this before. This family was so welcome, so big, so loving, and it made her happy to just watch them and know that, for a split second in time, she had been part of it. Maybe not a real part of it because this was not her family after all, but she had been touched by their warmth and been their guest for a time being. She would forever be grateful for that. Love tasted like Jessa’s lumpia, radiated like lolo’s approving smile, smelled like Grace’s hair after she had been out plucking wildflowers, and felt like Harry’s arms wrapped around her. Nothing would ever be quite like this.

“Let’s go to the barn,” Ellie said.

“I’ll just go say hi to Jessa,” Y/N announced, giving them all a smile before she walked outside and over to the grill where everyone was standing.

“Y/N!” Jessa exclaimed, opening her arms for her. Y/N grinned, walking over and doing the mano po on both Jessa and lolo. “How have you been? Don’t feel like I’ve seen you in ages.” Jessa swatted Harry’s arm, making him flinch away. “He’s keeping you all to himself, isn’t he?”

“I’ve been busy, nanay!” Harry said, furrowing his brows at his step-mum.

“Karaoke is huge in the Philippines,” Jessa explained, as she linked her arm with Y/N’s bringing her over to the grill where lolo and Tim were standing. “It is an understatement to say that Filipinos love karaoke, I daresay. Almost every Filipino home has a karaoke machine, Harry’s dad bought ours when we first moved here, but we put it out in the barn ‘cause we don’t really use it unless there’s a karaoke night, like tonight.”

“How nice, this is a tradition then? Each summer?”

“Yeah, we have a karaoke barbeque night every summer, everyone’s invited!” Jessa beamed. “It’s a fantastic way to just relax, forget about everything for a little while, belt your heart out to some of your favourite songs.”

Y/N smiled, eyes landing on the grill.

“Alright, Y/N?” Tim asked, smiling at her. “We made some tempeh for you, some Filipino barbeque sauce on it that’s out of this world. Not surprised, though, when Jessa made it.”

“Oh!” Jessa waved her hand as if to dismiss the compliment, but squeezed his shoulder. “I’m excited to see what you think. It was either tempeh or baos, thought you might like this a bit more.”

Y/N took a plate and a fork and watched as Tim put some food on her plate, thanking him once it was done. She picked up the tempeh and blew on it before she took a bite out of it, chewing it thoroughly and smiling at Jessa after swallowing.

“That’s brilliant.”

“Ahh! You think?” Jessa grinned, looking from Tim and back to Y/N, then at lolo. “Amá, Y/N liked the tempeh we made.”

Lolo smiled at Y/N and looked at her plate, nodding slowly. “You have to come and make some food with us once. You are part of the family now; we can show you our secret recipes.”

Y/N chuckled some before swallowing her bite of tempeh. “Wouldn’t say I’m part of the family, but thank you-“

“-Nonsense!” Jessa exclaimed, shaking her head furiously. “You are here, you’re making Harry happy, and since you’ve come to St Ives, the world’s been a brighter place. You’re where you need to be.”

For some reason, Y/N couldn’t quite believe what Jessa was saying. She knew it was coming from a good place, that she meant that it was nice to have Y/N there, but her family was in Winchester, she couldn’t possibly come into a new one and then ruin that one as well. This family she was visiting in St Ives would do just fine without her when she left in August. No one would miss her once she had been gone for a week, that was just a fact. Y/N was so bloody lost, she did not know what to do once her and Harry “broke up”, but she knew she would not disappoint and make any of the people around her sad, she refused.

Instead, Y/N smiled as she took the last bite of the tempeh, chewing and swallowing before she said. “Harry said something about an end of summer party.”

“Yes! I wanted to talk to you about that! Because, on the topic of food,” Jessa smiled back. “If you could give me some of your favourite vegetarian dishes, I’d love to make them for you! It would be amazing for many others to try something new as well.”

“I’d be more than happy to help out,” Y/N said, looking over at Grace as she sat on Dax’s back, the blonde man running around in circles as Harry ran after them, growling and acting like a disformed monster of sorts. She smiled a little at the sight, he looked absolutely ridiculous. How was he still cute? “I’ll bring the veggie food and I’ll show you how to make those, and then you show me how to make some Filipino dishes as well.”

Jessa placed a hand over her heart, beaming at Y/N. “You are an absolute treasure, me lover.”

Y/N smiled, eating some more of the tempeh. “When should I come and help out?”

“Are you free Tuesday?”

“Yeah, I don’t have any plans as of now.”

“Great! Harry will drive you here then. It’ll just be me, amá, Gracie, and Harry, and now you.” Jessa put her hand on Y/N’s arm, squeezing her lovingly before she turned to answer a question Tim asked her about the food he was currently grilling.

Y/N looked in the direction of Harry, Dax and Grace again, now walking towards the house. Jessa must have noticed Y/N staring in their direction because she linked her arm through Y/N’s and the two walked in the direction of the house as well.

“There’s more food inside,” she explained, grinning from ear to ear. “We do grill a lot, but Tim’s not really the best with the grill and he always insists on grilling at these gatherings, I don’t really have the heart to tell him no.” Jessa led Y/N into the dining room where she remembered all the food had been served at Grace’s birthday party. Again, casserole upon casserole stood spread over the dining table, covering it completely. Most of the dishes were all dug into, some almost completely wiped from the casseroles.

“Here,” Jessa said as she led Y/N over to the table. “I made your lumpia, there’s a few other vegetarian options as well.”

The fact that Jessa thought of this, thought of Y/N’s preference and made life a little easier for her, was so greatly appreciated that it nearly brought tears to Y/N’s eyes.

“This is biko,” Jessa explained, pointing to a casserole filled with banana leaves, a brown dish resting in it. “It’s a rice cake made from malagkit, or sticky rice, coconut milk, and brown sugar. Like other rice cakes, it is referred to as kakanin, taken from the word kanin which means rice, and is often eaten as a dessert or meryenda, meaning a mid-afternoon snack.”

“It looks lovely,” Y/N said, reaching for the spoon to get herself a slice before it was all eaten up. “Know we’re probably not set for dessert just yet, but I might just need some.”

Jessa laughed, smiling as Y/N took a bite of the biko. “What do you reckon, darling?”

“Heavenly, Jessa.”

Jessa clapped her hands together in delight, grinning from ear to ear as Y/N went in for another bite. “You have to try the buko pie next.”

“Which one’s that?”

Jessa pointed to a golden pie, not waiting for any sort of reply before cutting Y/N a small piece, placing it on Y/N’s plate. “It’s a sweet and rich pie made from young coconut meat.”

“Oh?”

“Buko pies are mostly sold in southern parts of Luzon in the Philippines. There’s this specific store down there called Collette’s that serves the best buko pie. I will never be able to replicate it, but I will try my hardest, every time I make a buko pie,” Jessa smiled. “We need to take you to Luzon, Y/N, you’d love it. Once we’ve saved up and all that.”

“This is the best buko pie I’ve ever tasted at least,” Y/N said, and Jessa laughed again looking out through the window only to sigh deeply.

“I need to go out there, it seems Tim is struggling and amá cannot be asked to help him out.” Jessa sprinted out, shouting something at Tim that Y/N didn’t catch but by the look on all the relatives standing around and Tim’s face, it couldn’t have been good. Y/N smiled a little, eating the rest of her pie before she realised she heard music. This wasn’t the type streaming out from the barn, this was coming from inside the house. And it was coming from the piano.

Y/N walked into the kitchen and placed her now empty plate on the kitchen counter before walking over to the dining room again, walking over to the doorway leading into the living room. With Grace on his lap, Harry was sitting by the piano, playing a tune Y/N had never heard before. It was both hopeful and very sad, unlike anything Y/N had ever heard before. There was no note sheet in front of him as he played, his eyes were only on the keys in front of him. Grace sometimes leaned forward and pressed a key she wasn’t supposed to, looking up at Harry while she giggled before leaning into him again, listening to the rest of the song.

“Can you play that other one?” Grace asked as Harry continued to play.

“What other one? There are quite a few, Gracie.”

“She means the one about me,” Dax grinned, standing beside the piano with his arms crossed, a massive grin on his face. “Go on, Hazza. Play that one inspired by Sexy Back.”

“Watch your mouth,” Harry hissed through gritted teeth, making his best friend laugh.

“Noooo!” Grace laughed. “The one you wrote after you, me and Y/N went to St Austell. The one about that trip.”

“Ahh, haven’t heard that one before,” Dax said, walking over to sit on the sofa beside the piano, watching the two siblings as they settled in again. Grace pressed one of the keys, looking up at Harry who smiled down at her and shook his head. He took her hand, bringing her finger over to the correct starting note, pressing it down for a long while so she’d get the feel of it. Then, he brought her to the next one, slowly playing the melody out before Grace motioned for Harry to take over for her.

What Harry produced just pressing a couple of keys at just the right moment was so breath-taking that Y/N almost felt dizzy. There was something to this melody that words weren’t ready to properly convey yet, something that was too powerful for a simple human brain to comprehend. Y/N understood why Harry wrote songs now. This melody captured that day perfectly. Her heart knew that melody. It had played that melody itself that day; it had been there with Harry while he came up with it as well.

She was thrown back to walking along St Austell, spending the day in the sunshine with two people that she had come to care so incredibly much for. Thrown back to standing side by side with Harry, talking about music, walking along the market, eating ice cream, laughing till her sides hurt. A lump suddenly appeared in her throat.

“What the fuc-“

“-Dax,” Harry said, stopping immediately. “No.”

“I’ve heard that word before, Harry,” Grace said.

“What, when?!”

“Harry, that was insane,” Dax said, grinning as he stood up from the sofa again. Before Y/N could be noticed, she stepped away from the doorway and walked outside again, feeling every inch of her chest hurting.

“Y/N!” Jo called. “Come in here!” They stood by the grill with a plate filled with food, waving her over so the two of them could walk in together.

She grinned over at Jo as she made her way over, them walking in the direction of the barn together. She waved at people she recognised – Florence from Bessie’s knitting club and Dax’s mum, was one of them. The inside of the barn was decorated with plenty of fairylights, giving the old interior a yellowish and homely glow resembling candlelight. There were small tables and chairs all around so people could sit down to eat, drink, and chat, while a huge screen was positioned by the furthest wall, two microphones attached to what looked to be a high quality karaoke machine of sorts. Jo showed the way and they sat down with the rest, it didn’t take long for Harry, Dax, and Grace to join them. Y/N got out of her chair and tapped Grace on the shoulder.

“Haven’t gotten a hug yet,” Y/N said and Grace jumped off the ground, throwing her arms around Y/N’s neck. She laughed, hugging the little girl to her for a few heavenly seconds before she stepped away. “You look nice today.”

“Nanay told me not to spill anything on it,” Grace said as she gestured at her pink, sparkly dress. “I told her I can’t promise that.”

Y/N chuckled. “You’re doing well so far, I’d say.”

“Thank you!” Grace beamed. “Anyway, Harry’s drinking that drink that makes his breath smell awful.”

“Gracie,” Harry warned from where he now sat beside Ellie, but the little girl did not appear to want to hear what he had to say.

“How can you kiss someone with bad breath, Y/N?” Grace asked and Y/N’s heart dropped at little as she thought about kissing Harry again. How they weren’t going to kiss again. How she wanted to kiss him, but not because they were fake dating. It took everything in Y/N not to look in Harry’s direction, because, judging by his little utterance of his sister’s name before, she knew he must’ve heard this as well.

“You don’t care if they’ve got bad breath if you really want to kiss them,” Y/N answered, giving Grace a smile.

Grace grimaced. “I would never kiss someone if their breath stank.”

“Don’t talk about kissing, you’re seven,” Harry said, sipping his pint.

Y/N raised her eyebrows at Grace and Grace did the same back. At Grace’s instructions, Y/N sat down in her seat so Grace could sit in her lap. Grace watched the people singing intently, sometimes singing along and nodding her head along to the music like she couldn’t help it. It was impossible not to smile at the sight of it, Y/N simply cared for this little creature so much it was hard for her to fully comprehend it. Grace, though young and Harry’s little sister, was the closest thing Y/N had ever come to a sister. They didn’t have a deep connection through thoughtful conversation, but they just understood and went along. There was an emotional and meaningful connection that, though not talked about, had appeared because they enjoyed and appreciated each other’s company.

Grace ran over to a nearby table to get herself some water, leaving Y/N sitting in the chair alone, her lap feeling oddly cold. On the other side of the table, Amir was talking loudly over the karaoke battle that had just begun.

“When I go back up to London for work in two weeks’ time, I feel like I’m just gonna make a right fool of myself, yeah? Normally takes a week for me to turn my weird off after I’ve been home.”

“Gonna be weird when you and Jo are off again,” Ellie said. “Why do you two have to work in London? Why can’t you just stay in St Ives?”

“Bit liberating to leave this place for another one every once in a while, not gonna lie,” Jo admitted, sipping their beer.

“Makes you realise all you’ve missed,” Fatima nodded. “Was the same when I came home for uni breaks, now I’m just really happy I ended up here. Might be underpaid as a teacher, but-“ Fatima shrugged her shoulders. “-I love living and working here, it’s home, after all.”

Y/N hated that she had never experienced that feeling; of coming back to something you had missed. Of coming home.

“Bum that,” Dax said. “I want my mates home at all times! I don’t care you’ve got a job!”

Y/N chuckled, the conversation around them commencing as she looked down at the table, picking at a stain on the table. Grace came back just then, but she didn’t get to sit down before Dax said her name.

“Wanna go up and sing your heart out?”

Grace squealed and took Harry’s hand. Harry downed the rest of his beer and stood up, walking with Grace, Dax, and Amir up to the karaoke machine. Y/N rested her chin in her hand, smiling as she watched the four of them discuss what song to do. It had to be an easy one that Grace already knew, it might be hard to find the correct one. They took some time to decide, but suddenly, the drums to a song Y/N recognised from Harry’s favourite’s playlist started playing. She remembered how Grace really loved that playlist.

“Uptown girl,” Grace sang into the microphone as she perched on Harry’s hip, sharing microphone’s with him. “She’s been living in her uptown world.”

Dax and Amir joined in as well, singing along with Grace who was still unsure of the lyrics but tried to read them as best she could on the screen in front of them. Harry moved them to the music, Dax throwing an arm around Amir’s shoulders as they started singing their hearts out. It was simply impossible not to smile as you watched the four of them, dancing and singing along to Billy Joel’s song.

“God,” Fatima sighed as she scooched her chair closer to Y/N’s. “I wish someone looked at me the way Harry looks at you.”

Y/N halted a little at Fatima’s words, looking in her direction as Amir, Dax, and Grace sang “And now she’s looking for her downtown man, that’s what I am”.

“Pardon?”

Fatima grinned. “Oh, you know-“ She placed her chin in her head, looking off into the distance with exaggerated doe eyes, a dreamy look on her face. For a split second, Y/N’s heart seemed to lurch out of her chest. Harry… Harry looked at her like that? He glanced at her? Surely, Fatima was not being serious and she had simply caught Harry smiling at Grace when she sat in Y/N’s lap.

Y/N laughed. “You’re taking the mick, that’s not how he looks at me.”

“Wouldn’t know, would you? Always happens when you’re not looking.”

“Harry,” Grace said, not even bothering to hold the microphone away as she spoke to him in the middle of the song. “You need to sing, the song’s for Y/N, remember?”

Y/N glanced beyond Fatima and at the group in front of the screen, a rush of adrenaline streaming through her veins. Laughter could be heard throughout the room at Grace’s words, many turning in Y/N’s direction to look at her, all with smiles and curious looks on their faces. At once, Y/N’s face seemed to be too hot for its own good. She bit her bottom lip, continued to watch the gang, ignoring the heat in her cheeks.

Harry seemed to take a deep breath before he started singing with Amir and Dax, both of them doing a miserable job of doing the song any sort of justice. Neither were impressive singers, but Y/N knew Harry was.

“Uptown girl, you know I can’t afford to buy her pearls,” Harry sang, voice so effortlessly breath-taking that Y/N felt like she was doing a pretty good job of imitating the dreamy look Fatima had demonstrated earlier. “But maybe someday when my ship comes in, she’ll understand what kind of guy I’ve been, and then I’ll win.”

Grace joined in then, wrapping her arm around Harry’s shoulder and leaning her head against his. They all continued to sing along to the song, Y/N not paying any sort of attention to the conversation between Fatima, Ellie, and Jo. She watched as the four of them cheered once they were done singing, bowing to the small applause they got before returning to the table.

“I need to go tell nanay!” Grace shouted, running off outside to Jessa and the rest of the family.

Y/N smiled at Harry as he came back, getting a tight-lipped smile back before he picked up his, Dax’s, Amir’s and Jo’s empty beer cans, walking over to get them all a new round. Grace came back with Halo Halo, placing herself on Y/N’s lap as the two ate, talking non-stop. The little one disappeared after a little while, Y/N suspected it was because it was getting rather late. As the night went on, Y/N realised that the only two that would be able to stand by the end of the night were her and Fatima. The others got very drunk, talking loudly about everything insignificant and nothing they would remember in the morning. Harry kept looking at the watch on his wrist, clearly making sure that they got back to his at a good hour so he could report at 3am. When Harry’s speech got a bit more slurred and his eyes a wee hooded, Y/N started looking out for him. Using the time on her phone, she kept an eye out, making sure that Harry returned to his cottage before then so he could sleep off most of his intoxication.

Talking amongst themselves as the rest chatted loudly, Fatima and Y/N agreed that Fatima would be the one to drive everyone home. It would be easier to drop Harry off last as this was his van, and Fatima didn’t live too far away from the lighthouse, the two then decided Y/N would sleep at her place that night, it would be nice just being the two of them. She loved how closed she was getting to Fatima and Ellie. There hadn’t really been a time before when she had made proper good friends, but everyone around that table were currently climbing very fast and very high up on her list of favourite people in the entire world. She genuinely appreciated Fatima’s help with the UCAT reading earlier that week, it had really helped her along, even though the result hadn’t been the best. That was Y/N’s fault though, not Fatima’s teaching skills.

At one point, Dax got all of them up from the table, bringing them over to the screen, telling them over and over again how they needed to do this. Y/N was unsure if they really did, but she didn’t bother telling a very drunk Dax that as he handed out microphones, telling people to share. Y/N scooted up next to Ellie, watching Harry as he put an arm around Jo’s shoulder, patting them as the two of them along with Amir watched Dax search for the song.

“We need to know what song we’re gonna embarrass ourselves to,” Amir exclaimed as Dax was taking his time typing.

“I’m not about to do a Union J song, mate,” Ellie said.

“Alright, I liked one of their songs ten years ago, Ellie!” Dax looked over his shoulder at her, a deep furrow to his brow. “Carry You is a belter!”

“It’s not.”

“Jo, back me up here,” Dax said, turning back to write something into the laptop standing there.

“Dax… don’t make us sing Union J or The Wanted or JLS or anything like that, we don’t need that,” Jo sighed.

“The fact you’re embarrassed about our boyband period in 2013 hurts.” Dax glared at Jo.

“Right, then, what’s the song we’re singing?” Harry shot in, nodding at the laptop again. “We’re just standing here lookin’ stupid now.”

“Looking stupid?” Amir tutted, shaking his head. “Couldn’t be me, mate. Model material, this is. Look like I’m straight off the runway.” He gestured at his body and Fatima feigned throwing up, making the five drunks howl with laughter.

“Ultraviolet, Stiff Dylans.”

Y/N gasped at Dax’s words, bringing her hand up to her chest as the others around just looked at her, afraid something had happened. She grinned at Dax. “That used to be my favourite song!”

This seemed to be shocking news to absolutely everyone.

“What?” Y/N raised her eyebrows. “Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging was revolutionary.”

“Too right,” Harry said. “But… were you…” He blinked a few times. “Were you even allowed to watch it? Not a film I reckon would’ve been allowed in your house.”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “What can I say, I used to be a rebel.”

“Yes, Y/N!” Dax grinned, giving Y/N a high five. “Now, bum God Save the Queen, this is Britain’s national anthem! Someone record this, history in the making!”

The familiar music started up and Y/N was taken back to a time when she had a massive crush on Aaron Taylor-Johnson, hiding her obsession with this film from her parents, and listening to this song on repeat. The whole gang started singing, Amir doing a horrible job of keeping up with everyone else, but it was fun to watch him get annoyed with himself for not getting it right. Involuntarily, Y/N’s eyes fell on Harry. He was singing his heart out, sounding better than everyone else, but in his drunken state he seemed to have forgotten some of the lyrics. However, everyone knew the song and it felt very good to be with people she adored, singing a song all of them knew and loved, together. She felt part of something bigger than herself in that moment.

Maybe that was why she did it. Because, looking back, Y/N did not quite know what came over her in that moment, but she loved herself for it. As the song started nearing the end, Y/N took the microphone out of Ellie’s hands and started singing at the top of her lungs, taking absolutely everyone by surprise but she did not care. Ellie started laughing and the rest joined in again towards the end, matching Y/N’s volume.

As she turned around after the song, grinning from ear to ear as she glanced at her friends, basking in their applause and cheers, she caught Harry’s eye. That crooked smile of his was on his face along with a look she wasn’t sure she had ever really seen before, maybe only once. Amusement tangled up with adoration, forming a sort of emotion that had yet to be given a word; someone on the cusp of surrendering themselves completely to the overpowering concept of love, yet still holding back in fear of the unrequited. As soon as their eyes met, Harry looked away, scratching at the back of his neck as he walked back over to their table, everyone following suit.

The time came for them all to leave and Harry gave Y/N the car keys, claiming that he was not fit to drive, though she had not needed him to tell her that. Y/N gave them over to Fatima and all of them made their way over to the van. The night sky was black, brimming with glinting stars and the moon hanging big and yellow over Cornwall, wishing them all a good night. Y/N walked over to Jessa and thanked her for her hospitality, asking her where lolo and Grace were. She explained they’d gone to bed a long time ago, lolo had probably read Grace a bedtime story and fallen asleep himself, he sometimes did that when he stayed the night at the farm.

Y/N ran over to the van, opening the passenger door to see Amir sitting there, a bag in front of him in case he should throw up on the way home. He gave Y/N a peace sign before she closed the door and opened the door into the backseats.

“There you are,” Jo said through a yawn. “Let’s go, Ima.”

“Y/N!” Harry called from further back in the van, making Dax groan and mumble a “shut up, mate” that Harry did not hear. “Y/N! My flower! Come back here, I saved us the whole back backseat!”

Y/N glanced in Fatima’s direction, only to see her friend raise her eyebrows at her, nodding her head. “He made a big fuss.”

“Y/N, come here, I want to tell you something,” Harry said, words slurring a bit. Y/N stepped into the van properly, closing the door behind her before she walked back to Harry, sitting down in the seat right beside him by the window, even though there were three seats in the far back of the car. The car jolted a little as Fatima started driving, steering the car up the gravel round and towards the centre of St Ives.

“What’d you wanna say?” Y/N asked Harry in a hushed voice, hoping he’d mimic her.

“I… I wanted to say something that’s been on my mind for a while now,” he said, whispering back to her, his face mere centimetres from her own. She felt hot all over, adoring their close proximity but also remembering the rule they had made some days ago. As they drove by the white fluorescent streetlights, Harry’s face lit up for a few seconds, making him appear almost angelic. “I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Okay.”

“It’s got to do with you.”

“Figured as much.”

Harry giggled, looking down at his hands where they rested between his legs, sliding his thumb along his other. “You’re very smart.”

“Thank you.”

“Smartest person I know.”

She couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. “I doubt that.”

He pursed his lips as he thought. “You do that a lot.”

“What?”

“Doubt yourself.” He stared back at her, moving a little closer so their sides were flush against one another. “I think you’re great. I’ve never doubted you.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, neither knowing what to say as the world around them seemed to disappear completely. For a single moment, it looked like he was going to tilt his head to the side, almost as if he were getting ready to study her like he had done at Porthgwidden. He stopped himself, staring back at his hands.

“I don’t have any cucumber left,” Harry mumbled, this made Y/N giggle a little. “This ain’t gonna end well for me tonight if I don’t get that cucumber.”

Y/N giggled some more, bringing her hand to her mouth as Harry looked at her again, his crooked smile appearing on his face, dimple showing.

“What?”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re talking about a cucumber when you say it like that,” she said.

“What then?”

“Well… what’s kind of shaped like a cucumber?”

Harry furrowed his brows, thinking hard.

“You have it, I don’t.”

“A cock?” Harry mouthed, looking absolutely gobsmacked that Y/N would suggest such a thing, which made Y/N laugh again.

“Yeah, dildo or summat.”

“Y/N Bernadette Angelica McKay,” Harry gasped, shaking his head as his eyes fell on the road through the window beyond Y/N. “Saucy git.”

“You started it.”

“Well, you made it sexual.” Harry crossed his arms, pretending to roll his eyes to make Y/N laugh, which worked effortlessly. “Wouldn’t mind a dildo, not gonna lie.”

“Harry!”

“What?! It’s the truth!”

Y/N laughed again, watching as Ellie and Jo jumped out of the car once Fatima stopped it, waving at everyone before they started walking in the same direction. Fatima started the car over again just as Jo stumbled and almost face planted, making everyone in the van – including the two outside – crack up. Y/N settled into her own seat, looking down at her thighs as they drove off again, giggling a little to herself as she replayed Jo’s near-death experience in her head.

“I…” Harry started, and when she glanced up at him, he was smiling that very small smile back at her. It was barely there, making his dimples show ever so slightly, and it made every single butterfly in Y/N’s tummy flutter their wings madly. “I love the sound of your laughter.”

Y/N felt her heart skip a beat.

“It makes me happy.”

She knew that if she continued to look at Harry and he continued to look at her, she would just start feeling more for him. Though she knew it was inevitable, she would fall in love with him sooner or later, she wanted to slow the process out so that she didn’t end up spending too much time with him while she loved him.

“When you said you watched Angus, Thongs earlier, it kinda shocked me a bit,” Harry admitted, talking as if it was all part of his stream of consciousness. “Not that I think you’re innocent or anything like that, you don’t seem innocent- and when I say it like that it sounds weird.”

Y/N bit her lips together, trying not to laugh.

“From what I’ve heard your parents were very strict so…” Harry shrugged his shoulder, looking away from her again. He tilted his head a little to the side as he caught eye of Amir in the front. “Amir! Oi! If you throw up in my van I’m gonna murder you!”

“Shut up, Haz,” Dax groaned. “Y/N, why the fuck is your boyfriend so loud when he’s plastered? Bloody hell.”

“I’m not loud, I’m passionate.”

“About Amir not throwing up in your car?” Dax rolled his eyes. “Brilliant.”

Fatima stopped the car, shouting at Dax to get out and help Amir home. Dax slowly walked around the car and took Amir’s arm over their shoulder, the two walking off as Amir started singing a song that had been sung right before they left the farm. Fatima sat there and watched the two walk up the street, making sure they got inside Amir’s place where Dax would kip before she started driving towards the lighthouse.

The three were quiet for the last part of the drive, Harry seemingly about to doze off all of a sudden, humming Ultraviolet under his breath as they started driving up the gravel path to the lighthouse. Y/N just barely saw the light of the lighthouse before it disappeared, but did not pay any more notice to it as Harry leaned over her, glancing out the window as if to see his house. Once Fatima stopped the car, Harry reached for the seat buckle, fumbling for it in the dark before he finally got free.

“Help me inside?” he asked Y/N, making her lose her words a bit at first in surprise, but she quickly loosened her own seatbelt as Fatima turned around, about to jump out of the van as well.

“Just gonna help him get to bed, it’ll take five minutes,” Y/N told Fatima as Harry slid the backdoor open, getting out of the car.

“Ten if can force a cuddle out of her,” Harry said, chuckling a little to himself as he watched Y/N get out of the car and close the door behind her. She only raised her eyebrows at him, holding her hand out for his keys, which he gave her eagerly. She wanted nothing more than to cuddle him for ten minutes, she’d take cuddles for one minute if that’s all she got, but she knew he was only saying it in front of Fatima to make her believe them even more. He took his time walking to the front door, as if to drag the time out, while Y/N walked on inside, turning the lights on for him. It took some time for him to get his shoes off and while he did that, Y/N looked through his fridge, not seeing any cucumbers but a few tomatoes could maybe do as post-party food.

Harry put his rucksack with his camera down by the sofa, strolling over to the bathroom to do whatever he needed to do. Y/N put the tomato on the counter, making Harry a glass of water like he had made her last time and putting that along with the tomato on the dining table. Once he walked out of the bathroom, he rubbed at his eyes, giving Y/N a smile as their eyes met.

“Are you staying?”

“No, I… I’m going home with Fatima.”

Harry nodded. “You two…?”

Y/N chuckled some, feeling her cheeks get a little hot as she shook her head. “No, we’re friends. I’m kipping at hers.”

“Okay, good.” Harry nodded, biting the corner of his upper lip as he said, “I don’t like it when you’re alone.”

“Why not?”

“Because of what you said about your dad, that he was a bad man and all that.”

Y/N felt a sort of panic rise in her chest and she looked out the still open door, seeing Fatima sit by the stone fence circling the lighthouse, watching its lights. Harry yawned, lying down in his bed and glancing over at Y/N, his eyes trailing down her body. She felt herself blushing, both because Harry was staring at her like that and she did not want to talk about her dad, especially not while Harry was drunk.

“Can you stay?” His voice was soft, speaking with a meaning that went beyond the cottage and tonight.

“I’m going with Fatima.”

“I want you to stay, flower.”

She wanted to lay down next to him, slide her hand through his hair and watch as he closed his eyes, smiling ever so slightly and humming in total and utter contentment. Fall asleep next to him, feel his breath on her skin again, know that he was there to protect her if anything were to happen. She suddenly remembered how safe she had felt waking up here, how she had never slept as good as she did that single night she spent at Harry’s cottage. Never again would she feel like that, Y/N realised. Once she left St Ives in a couple of weeks, all the safeness and the sense of belonging would be ripped away from her. It would surely be like someone ripping off her arm.

Harry sat up in his bed as if he sensed a shift in the air around them, looking up at Y/N with slight worry but also a sort of desperation, silently asking her to please consider his offer. God, in that very second, it was very hard to resist him. Because when he looked at her like that, so attentive, so devoted to everything she did, she simply wanted to do nothing but lay down next to him and do what he asked. But she couldn’t, and with each passing second where they just looked at one another, the tension between them grew and she felt goosebumps up her back. She cleared her throat some.

“You wanted to tell me something earlier, was that it?” Y/N asked, wanting to get them talking about something else.

“What?”

“In the van, when I entered it, you said you had something to say, what did you have to say?”

“Oh,” Harry said as if suddenly remembering. He glanced away suddenly, scratching at the back of his neck. “No, it was… I wanted to tell you that… I know we haven’t spent much time together since the whole… since Terraland… last Saturday- so like, a week ago…”

She nodded, encouraging him to keep going.

“I’m sorry for that. I don’t… The last thing I’d ever do is hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable.”

“I know, Harry.”

“I just…” He watched her, taking in every single one of her movements as if he would forget what she looked like when she left. “You and me, you know… we were sitting there together and… you were so pretty when we sat there at Porthgwidden, I couldn’t… I had to kiss you. Spur of the moment kind thing, I suppose.”

Y/N did not want to look at him, did not want to hear him say anything else. Had all the nice things he had said at the beach also been just “spur of the moment” then? So nothing was real? Not that she had thought it was, but that kind of just underlined it, didn’t it? She didn’t know what to think anymore, everything was so blurry, nothing seemed to really make sense. Everything was for the fake relationship, it always was.

“Y/N!” Fatima called from outside, Y/N glanced at her. “Say goodbye so we can leave!”

When she glanced back at Harry, Harry seemed to get a little desperate, not wanting her to leave just yet. But Y/N couldn’t stay.

“Y/N,” Harry said, maybe realising that what he’d said might’ve been a bit much. “I-I didn’t mean it like that.”

She gave him a smile. “We’ll talk soon, yeah?”

Harry just nodded, and she walked out the door and toward Fatima who was smiling at her. With one last glance over her shoulder, she saw Harry in the window over his dining table, looking out after Y/N and Fatima as they walked along the gravel path toward town. His hand was resting by the tomato she had laid there for him, hoping that it could somehow be a good second to his usual cucumber tradition after nights out. Y/N crossed her arms over her chest as a slight cold breeze blew past them and Fatima audibly shivered.

“Yeah, would you look at that,” Fatima said as Y/N glanced her way. “Left me out in the wind, you did. Now I’m freezing.”

Y/N laughed, nudging Fatima’s shoulder with her own. The two friends went on back to Fatima’s place, acting as two old friends would.

Monday, 3 August

This was the first time Y/N had ever witnessed rain in St Ives since she arrived in June. It was not pouring down as one would assume after a long drought, a slight pitter-patter fell onto the grass around her as she walked along the gravel path, falling onto the hood of the yellow rain coat she was wearing. The sky was a dull grey, not something one should be worrying about, but there were a few darker clouds hovering somewhere in the horizon and she was sure that with this high of a temperature and the promise of pouring rain later on, lightning would occur as well.

Once she reached the lightkeeper residence, she knocked three times, waited a minute for Harry to open, then peeked her head in when he didn’t. Harry was sat by the dining table, looking through an instruction manual in front of him, frowning down at the pages as if he was reading a language he did not understand. At the sound of the door opening, he looked in Y/N’s direction, giving her a little smile.

“Saw you approach just now,” he said before looking down at the manual before him again.

“So you didn’t bother opening the door for me?” she asked, smiling over at him, but Harry did not answer. This was what she had been afraid of.

Ever since the karaoke and barbeque night at the farm, Harry had not met her gaze. Whenever she had come over to study, he wouldn’t spend too long in the cottage with her and he would rarely make her tea as he usually did. There was something not subtly cold, but different. He still welcomed her to sit in his windowsill and would still talk to her, but he wouldn’t look at her, wouldn’t stay around for long enough so they could talk properly. Y/N had tried, even suggested they go down to the Bakery to buy a pasty and walk around St Ives, go to the Candy Shoppe, or to the pub to have a few pints, but Harry had turned down all her offers, told her they could do it another time. He never really gave an explanation for why he didn’t want to hang out and Y/N was afraid of asking for one. But they had to talk. She didn’t want to go on like this, especially when Harry had come to mean so much to her.

“What’re you up to, then?” She took her coat and boots off, walking over to where Harry was seated by the dining table.

“I’m about to change the bulbs before it starts getting dark out and the lamp’s turned on,” he explained, furrowing his brows as he ran his finger over the page, concentrating on reading a specific line. Y/N stayed silent as not to disturb anything. He got up from the chair, sipping the last of his tea before he shoved the manual down in the back pocket of his denim shorts. He slipped his red knitted jumper over his Elton John tee shirt, the same one he had given to Y/N to wear after Dax’s birthday party when she slept over for the first time.

“Can I help?” she asked, giving him a smile she hoped he’d lay his eyes on her to see.

And he did, lips parting a little as if he was surprised by the suggestion. This puzzled Y/N as she had always expressed her willingness to help him, no matter what.

“Go on, then.” Harry nodded. “Just needed a cuppa before I started, it’s well past 6 after all.”

“You’re going to bed soon?”

“Yeah, and the lamp gets turned on in about an hour.”

Y/N smiled as he walked past her. “You’ve been procrastinating all day, have you?”

“Not all day.”

She laughed and she thought she saw the flicker of a smile on Harry’s lips at the sound.

“I’ve done other things as well, but I need this done now and quickly.”

Y/N nodded, putting her rain boots back on as Harry got his trainers on, the two then jogging in the direction of the lighthouse as not to get soaked in the rain that was starting to fall harder around them. Harry held the door open for her, then locked it once they were both inside. They started their ascent, Harry leading them past his little office floor, past the bedroom like room, up and up and up, till they finally reached the bell room. Even though Y/N was wearing a short white sundress with her green oversized boxy high-neck jumper along with her mid-calf black rain boots, she walked up the ladder leading to the bell room. She remembered how she had been reluctant to walk up wearing a dress that first time, but now she didn’t really care. Harry needed to change the bulbs and she said she was going to help.

Along the way, Harry had brought a toolbox with him, placing it up on the floor of the bell room before he walked up the ladder, letting Y/N go on up after him. For some reason it shocked Y/N when she came up to see that the lamp – the only thing inside the bell room – was not moving. She had imagined that the light in lighthouses moved around, and though Harry had explained what offshore and shore-based lighthouses were, the pattern of a lighthouse and the like, he hadn’t really explained how the lamp worked.

“It doesn’t rotate,” she said, walking up to the relatively small lamp in the middle of the room.

Harry was rummaging through his toolbox, stopping momentarily as he glanced over his shoulder at Y/N, unsure what she was referring to first, then let his eyes fall to the lens. “It flashes.”

Y/N furrowed her brows, walking around the lens to get a good look at it, studying the ridges and different colours of it, blank and red. “flashes?”

Harry pulled a screwdriver out of the toolbox and started working on the screws around the lamp. “It’s to identify it when it’s dark out, sailors can’t make out the white lighthouse when it’s night-time.”

“Makes sense.”

“Most lighthouses, especially shore-based ones like Clodgy, rhythmically flash or eclipse their lights to provide an identification signal. The particular pattern of flashes or eclipses is known as the character of the light, and the interval at which it repeats itself is called the period.” Harry tipped the plastic lens to reveal the five lightbulbs under it; Y/N was surprised to see it wasn’t made of glass. She supposed it was more convenient. “Essentially, a lighthouse may display a single flash, regularly repeated at perhaps 5-, 10-, or 15- seconds intervals. This is known as a flashing light. Clodgy is one of them.”

“What are these then?” Y/N asked, pointing to the red streaks.

“Basically, if someone is on sea and they are driving in the direction of sharp rocks or land, they’ll see a red light flashing instead of a normal, yellow one.”

“Danger, danger.”

Harry reached into his pocket, pulling out a box and putting it on the little space underneath the lamp.

“How many bulbs are there?” Y/N asked, looking at the different ones all attached to a round object in the middle of the lens.

“Five, they usually don’t have to be changed out. You gotta do so every 15-25 years, depending. This little thing-“ Harry pointed to the small bulb between them. “Lights up 15 miles using these lenses. It’s incredible.”

Y/N looked up at Harry, seeing a tiny and amused smile on his face as he talked. This was the most she had heard him talk in over a week; it made her heart do a silly fluttery thing.

“When one of these five bulbs go out, the apparatus knows that the bulb no longer works and it will rotate and-“ Harry placed his finger on the side of the bulb, rotating it to the right so that the apparatus turned, clicking as another bulb fit into place at the top. “-Click to a new bowl, it’s on automation and all that. So, we rarely change the bulbs.”

She bit her bottom lip as she watched him, not able to help herself. It was just so endearing to watch him like this, so amazing to hear him talking so unfiltered to her again. Right then, talking about bulbs and apparatuses and what not, he was so engulfed, so eager to tell her everything, that he did not care how he sounded. He was comfortable. She could tell.

He must’ve noticed how he rambled off, because he cleared his throat and stood up straight again, running a hand through his hair as a slight pink colour appeared in his cheeks. He quickly started to change the first bulb, putting a new on in its stead. Y/N just watched him, finding the sound of Harry working, the slight clicks, the quiet patter of the rain against the windows surrounding them, very relaxing. He seemed to be relaxed as well, so she thought this might be the best time as any.

Inhaling slowly, she leaned her hands on either side of the slight counter the lamp was standing on. She looked over it at Harry, his bottom lip between his teeth as he put the second bulb in its new place.

“Harry, we…” she started, swallowing thickly. “We need to talk about… things.”

Harry sighed. “Yes. Yes, we do.”

Knowing he felt the same way about that made it easier to breathe for a reason. At least she wasn’t going into this the same way she had been going into the Emilia situation after Dax’s birthday.

He started on the third bulb as he started talking, beating Y/N to it. “I, uhm… I want to tell you about my dad.”

This came as a shock to Y/N who was left raising her eyebrows at him for a second or two before saying, “Yeah, alright.”

He glanced up at her over the lightbulb. “You didn’t see it coming?”

“We’ll talk about your dad first,” Y/N gave him a reassuring smile. “We have time. We’ll always have time.”

“But that’s the thing…” Harry trailed off, switching out the fourth bulb, not meeting her eyes. “We don’t. If there’s one thing we won’t always have, it’s time. There won’t ever be enough time spent with your loved ones, there just won’t. No matter how much time you spend or how much time you spent with someone, you’ll always want more time. Always. What you got is never enough.”

The rain outside fell a little harder against the windows of the bell room, the wind a little harsher.

“Two years ago, my dad went on a fishing trip. He usually did this, took a few of his mates and then set off out wherever. They were never gone for more than a day tops, they always returned at night with tons of fish and I remember how Jessa would be so delighted and then invite our whole family over for barbecues and the like.” He paused as he started on the fifth and last bulb. “One day, September 4th to be exact, he didn’t return. Jessa and I sat up for hours waiting for signs of him. She started calling the spouses of the others on the boat, no one else had returned either.”

Y/N absolutely hated that she knew where this was going but she hadn’t told Harry that yet.

“Dax ended up sleeping at the lightkeeper house with me for a month and some after that, just didn’t want me to be alone, you know? He’s sound like that.” Once he was done putting the bulb in place, he reached for the lens and put it back where it belonged. “I think most of my mates and the people in my family’s life tried to keep our minds off it, ‘cause the more days went by, the more likely it was that… you know… he was dead.”

Harry sighed, reaching for the screwdriver, taking a little pause in talking as he screwed everything back into place. Y/N took a few steps back, watching him do his job and make himself ready to talk again.

“The boat was found October 14th, no one and nothing was in it.” Harry still wouldn’t look at her, put the screwdriver back in the toolbox and kept his back to her for a few seconds before turning around again. The bell room was starting to get relatively dark; she supposed the light would turn on soon, and she could barely make out the slight glassy expression in Harry’s eyes.

“I went absolutely mad. There are big chunks of time that I don’t even remember from that time, my brain has just… erased it from my memory, it was the darkest period of my life. They didn’t find any of the passengers’ bodies, there were three of them as well. It had been a turbulent and stormy night, so a sea storm took them out, drowned them all. But I… I…” Harry inhaled hugely, breathing shakily. “I didn’t… I still kinda don’t want… want to believe it. My dad is laying somewhere, far away from me, far away from Jessa, Gracie, from… from home…” He looked down at the ground, blinking rapidly. “It doesn’t fucking feel real. It’s not supposed to happen. This… He was a good sailor; he didn’t drown at sea.”

Y/N felt something starting to sting behind her eyes, she bit her bottom lip to stop it from wobbling. The storm outside seemed to pick up, sounding rougher than a minute before.

“I took over after him because I thought… I thought that, if no one else could, I could help him find the way home. I could shine that light; I’d take care of the lighthouse till he came back home. I’d show him the way, I’d light up the path for him, and he’d come home to me again. Where he belonged, where he should’ve been all along.” He took a deep breath, slowly looking up again, eyes falling to the lamp in the middle of the room. “It was a way for me to ignore the fact that he was truly dead. He wouldn’t come back. I didn’t really… I didn’t realise how… I didn’t realise how true it was that my dad, my constant, was gone, until Emilia left as well.”

Y/N furrowed her brows, a sort of rage filling her again. She had never been this angry before. There was something burning inside her, a sort of desire to protect Harry from everything evil in the world. No one deserved to hurt, but Harry least of everyone.

“I met Emilia at one of Astronaut Lions’ gigs the year before. I remember standing at the bar and she came up to me, asked me if I was Amos’ son – that’s my dad’s name, by the way - to which I said yes, and she told me her dad used to lend my dad and his mates his fishing boat sometimes. My dad and hers knew each other. So, we got talking, and, I want to say it’s ‘cause our dads knew each other, we got pretty close, pretty fast.”

Talking about Emilia brought Y/N’s gagging reflex into full force, but she composed herself.

“When my dad died, she was around, but not as often as Dax, Amir, Jo, Fatima, Ellie, or my family. She visited and stuff, kept me occupied, but the gang spent a lot of time at my place, occasionally rotating. It was nice, I didn’t want to be alone. I love being alone, but I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts then.”

Harry leaned against the window, eyes falling to the floor. Y/N continued to stand where she had, watching Harry carefully.

“We had been together for a year and some then. We hadn’t really fought much, I don’t really like confrontation, it makes me very uncomfortable, so I usually just let her say what she wanted to say if she was annoyed with me and didn’t bother arguing. Fatima kept telling me how unfair it was on her and our relationship, and also on myself, that I never really stood up for myself when we fought. It’s, like… I wanted it to work out so much that I wanted to ignore the things that didn’t. I didn’t want to do something that might cause us to break up.” He sighed heavily. “We were good for each other, we did have some good times, and she was my first ever proper girlfriend that broke my heart, but… but these last few weeks I’ve come to realise that she never really wanted what was best for me the way all my mates did.”

Y/N wanted to walk over to him and hug him. She wanted to console him; tell him she was there if he needed anything.

“I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about that part of my life, you know? I’m aware that breaking up with someone ‘cause they’re bad for your mental health is valid, but what she did really affected me. It made the grieving process worse. I had never really felt truly alone till then.” He furrowed his brows some. “I didn’t have dad; I didn’t have Emilia… I knew I had my mates, but… Emilia and dad meant so much to me, losing them both in such a short period of time… broke me.”

Y/N swallowed a lump in her throat, hoping he couldn’t hear how sad his story made her. “Harry, you don’t have to elaborate if it’s hard for you.”

“No, you deserve to know. Emilia’s back, you’re my… my supposed girlfriend and you… I want you to know.”

Y/N nodded, clutching at the hem of her jumper.

“I know it was a naff move on my part when I went with her to get her that cup, I know I should have understood why you were rightfully upset right away, I know I shouldn’t have been too friendly when she came to Terraland…” Trailing off, he balled his hands into fists at his sides. “The reason why I’ve been so reluctant to push her out of my life is… I know it’s fucking mental; I know I sound right mad, yeah? But… I figured that if she could return, then maybe… then maybe dad…” Harry didn’t finish, but he didn’t have to.

Y/N shook her head as the only thing in the bell room that was audible was the sound of the rain and wind outside, sounding eerie and strong against the top of the lighthouse. “It’s not mental. It’s a very valid and normal reaction to grief, clinging onto the last shred you have of someone, hoping that one day they might come back to you.”

Harry looked at her feet, not ready to meet her eyes yet.

“My dad and I have never been close. I used to love being around him when I was little, I remember associating him with goodness and warmth. He would play with me and make me laugh, do things that my mum hated him for.”

“Like?”

“Throw me in the air, let me jump from a bunk bed and onto the mattress on the floor below, that sort of thing.” Y/N almost smiled at the memory. She hadn’t thought about that in ages. “However, as I grew up, my dad just got colder. He was still nice to me, was still protective and a dad, but he wasn’t the same.”

Y/N could tell by the slight breath Harry inhaled that he wanted to ask what changed but stopped himself. She was grateful he did. She could not go that far just yet.

“But… though it’s not the same as you, I respected my dad’s wishes to stay in Winchester and do as my mum; become a stay-at-home mum who didn’t need education or anything like that. He wanted me to marry well and learn how to be a mum; learn how to be safe at home and mostly indoors at all times.” She furrowed her brows some. “I believed him when he told me I wouldn’t be fit to become a dentist.” She paused for a moment. “You know when you’re scared, and you believe every word your parents say to you ‘cause you don’t know what else to do? They’re older, wiser, got more experience, so of course they know better than you, they know the best thing to do in any given situation.”

Harry nodded slightly.

“Before… Before I came to St Ives, I hadn’t really parted from my family at all. It wasn’t really like I had a choice. They were just always there, and I was expected to be there, too. I was terrified when I left; not only didn’t my parents know I was leaving, but I had just disappointed them in every way possible anyway, so I… I couldn’t stay there.” Her eyes fell on the lamp that yet hadn’t turned on.

Harry cleared his throat, eyes still on the lens in the middle of the room. “Your parents don’t know you’re here?”

“They do now.”

“You told them?”

Y/N felt her heart pick up its speed, she swallowed thickly, continuing to avoid Harry’s eyes. “What I’m trying to get at is that I haven’t, and probably won’t, tell them about the UCAT, or the fact that I’m trying to become a dentist. Part of me wishes that I did, but I know the reaction I’m gonna get… And the other part of me… That part is longing for that loving and warm father to return, the one that helped me fly when I was little.” She leaned against the window. “It’s not the same as you by any means, but it’s-“

“-It’s just as valid, Y/N.”

She shook her head some, looking out at the tall waves below. “You ever get the feeling that, no matter what, you won’t really be good enough, and you settle down with that thought? It’s not this hopeless feeling, but rather you’re just… content with that. You’re average so you’ll get average back.”

“You’re not average.”

She looked over at him, and for what seemed like the first time that day, their eyes met.

“Did your parents make you feel that horrible about yourself?”

Y/N crossed her arms. “In what way?”

“That you were average? Not destined for good things? That you didn’t deserve proper happiness?”

“I was satisfied with life in Winchester.”

“Satisfaction and happiness are two vastly different things.”

It seemed like he wanted to take a step forward but stopped himself, taking a deep breath before settling against the window again. Y/N pushed slightly away from the wall, standing closer to the light.

“It’s like the whole thing with me and Emilia again, innit? There were times when I was happy with her, but I think that’s more to do with the fact that I knew she was there. I could always rely on her. But bottom line is that being with her didn’t bring me instant and constant happiness like-“ He stopped himself, as if remembering there were things he wasn’t supposed to say. “She didn’t make me happy like she should’ve. I was satisfied.”

“Isn’t being at peace good? If someone or something brings you peace, isn’t that good?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders some. “There are different kinds, though. Your life and the people in it should be able to make you feel something, you know? Not being excited to see someone or to be somewhere or to do something, it does nothing. You don’t grow if you’re satisfied ‘cause you’re not moving, you’re not evolving.”

“Being happy isn’t a constant, though. You can’t always be happy, sometimes you’re just… not.”

“How boring would life be if you felt the same way, did the same things, saw the same people every single day? How boring would it be without change?”

Y/N felt herself smiling. “You’re a lighthouse keeper, you do the same things every single day.”

“I don’t, though,” he said. “I might be stuck here in St Ives most of the time, but I never do the same thing every single day. And besides…” He trailed off, biting his bottom lip some. “Besides life’s been anything but ordinary lately.”

Y/N glanced at her arms in front of her. “I… I hated change.”

“You don’t anymore?”

“To a degree,” she said. “I’m happy with the decision I made to leave my old life behind, but now… now I don’t really know what to do. I’m going to apply for University, but what if I’m too old? I’m 25, way older than everyone else there will be, and I… I dunno. I feel like I have to figure myself out all over again now that I don’t have my parents around me anymore, it’s like I don’t know who I am. Once this summer is over and I leave St Ives – ‘cause St Ives, you, and everyone here, are genuinely what’s keeping me together right now – I… I dunno how I’m going to survive. Will I have myself when I don’t even know who I am? Is it too late for me to get a fresh start? Who- Who will be there to help guide me in the right direction if I have no one in my life?”

There was no trace of hesitation as Harry said, voice deep and low, “You’ll always have someone.”

“Will I? I feel lost, Harry.” She blinked a few times, hoping to prevent possible tears from falling. “I’m so lost. Where do I even go from here? I don’t and can’t go back to how life used to be, where do I go?”

“Don’t go.”

She glanced up at him, the lamp beside them suddenly coming to life with a massive blink. Though the suddenness of the light had scared her, Harry’s words had been what got her heart racing. The light blinked in the direction of the sea, the other side from where they stood so Y/N couldn’t see it directly, only the dark back that was facing the mainland. However, she could not care less for the light as Harry stared back at her, right into her eyes, for the first time in what seemed like forever. She felt herself relax at the sight of him, but his words still reverberated through her head, making it spin slightly.

“What?”

“Don’t go,” he repeated, stepping away from the window. “Stay.”

Her arms fell to her sides. “You… You want me to stay in St Ives?”

It took a few seconds, as if he was building up the courage to say something he thought was obvious, but, seemingly, not so obvious to Y/N. “Yes.”

“But I…” She trailed off, blinking a few times as if she were trying to regain composure. “You’ve never said.”

“’Cause I’ve always been afraid of your reaction.”

“My… my reaction?”

“If it would scare you.”

“Why would that scare me?”

“’Cause someone telling you they care for you more than… more than they care for anyone else, and you not feeling the same way… I don’t want to scare you.”

Y/N was sure she had not heard him right. And if she had, she must have misinterpreted his statement, because surely he had not just said what she thought he said. The light blinked its usual pattern, lighting up the darkening bell room as the two just stood staring at one another.

“I thought you only felt like that for Emilia.”

Harry frowned, shaking his head as if what he’d just heard was absurd. “Emilia?”

“Well, then… then that you used to feel like that for her, that you two used to be close. I’ve been jealous of that, after all.”

“You’ve been jealous?” Harry’s eyes were wide, intently staring at Y/N as she continued to explain. “How do you mean?”

“Dunno…” Y/N said, knowing that she probably sounded like an absolute plonker. “You’ve always seemed pretty caught up on her. That you still have feelings for her.”

He studied her, mouth falling shut as he let his eyes scan her face, saying a soft, “I don’t.”

“But- But why do you blush when she’s around, then?”

At the mention of him blushing, a red colour appeared in his cheeks and he glanced away for a few seconds, running his hands through his hair. Y/N could not help a small smile on her lips, biting at the corner of her mouth to stop herself from doing so.

“I get flustered, don’t I? It’s not like I can help it,” Harry explained, gesturing at his face as he took a few steps forward. “She’s my ex, it’s weird being around her.”

“You act so shy, though. Isn’t that how you are around people you’re nervous in front of?”

“I acted like that with you as well, did you notice?”

Y/N felt a breath hitch in her throat, something about Harry admitting this made her entire body hot. Part of her did not believe this could be true, it was just too good, while the other urged her to keep going, see what happened next. She shook her head slightly. “I-I dunno.”

“I was so bloody nervous,” Harry said, chuckling a little to himself. “It was genuinely hard for me to form sentences ‘cause I didn’t want to make a right twit of myself, yeah? I just… I wanted to impress you so bad, but it was so hard.”

She pressed her lips together, heart hammering hard, hands feeling clammy with anticipation.

“I’m not nervous around you anymore, though.”

“You’re not?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I feel safe with you now. I don’t care that I make a fool of myself ‘cause you won’t mind.”

She smiled a little. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He gestured around him with a soft jerk of his chin. “You’re a light room.”

Y/N wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but stopped herself when their eyes met again. She wanted to walk to him, to be near him.

“It’s like…” Harry started, pausing for a few seconds before he went on. “It’s weird being around someone you thought meant a lot to you and you realise they didn’t. But with you… that’s…” He glanced at the ground again, tugging at the hem of his red jumper. “It’s different.”

She continued to just look at him, afraid that if she said anything he would stop.

“It’s… it’s like I… like-“ He cleared his throat, suddenly blushing uncontrollably, and it was as if he knew how ridiculous he must look because he let out a small laugh. “You were the prettiest woman I’d ever seen and I wanted to impress you, I didn’t want to embarrass myself and have you not want to be around me anymore.”

His eyes fell to her feet, moving up over her bare legs, landing on her tummy as he continued to find the words lost somewhere within him. He took a deep breath.

“I’m not good with words, so explaining how much you mean to me is hard, but I know that I… that you…” He drifted off again, meeting her eyes. “You were the person I wanted to be in the arms of at Terraland, when I was all shaken up ‘cause of that ride, not Emilia, no one else but you. And you’re the only person I want to be in the arms of right now, tomorrow, and probably every single day after that. I like it when you hold me, when you’re around. That’s all I know.” His eyes fell to her lips for a second, meeting her eyes as if he remembered that was forbidden territory. She had said as much. “I like it when we touch, everything seems at once much simpler but also so much more important and grander because of you.”

Biting her bottom lip, Y/N walked closer to Harry, and at the sight, he took two more steps closer as well, meeting right beside the lamp that was still occasionally lighting up the bell tower and the entire coast along with it. Standing right there in front of one another, something that could only resemble magic passed between them and circled around them, drawing them closer to one another. They were meant to be close, meant to be right here, with one another. It was wrong to be anywhere else than with Harry. She didn’t feel as lost when he was here; there was a sense of reason, of purpose, when they were together that was so great to the point of invention, there was no other way of explaining it. This, what was between then, was beyond anything. Limitless, unfathomable, immeasurable; infinite.

“I want to touch you,” Y/N said, her voice almost a whisper as she, once again, glanced at his lips.

“Touch me. Please.”

Slowly and gentler than she had ever been before, she placed her hand to his cheek, thumb stroking over the slight stubble before she slid the tips of her fingers to the back of his jaw and then forth again. He closed his eyes, leaning into her.

“Please, touch me,” he repeated, the breath of his pleading words falling against her hot wrist. “Never stop.”

She studied his face, loving the calming effect she had on him because it matched the one he had on her. Though he made her heart race and had her overthinking everything, he calmed her down and made her feel at peace. Exhilarated her and confused her; overwhelmed her and elated her. He made her feel everything all at once, and Y/N thought at last, wasn't that what love really was? When you felt like the feelings inside your body transcended everything, made you see everything around you in a new light? When it changed your world for the better?

Y/N’s hand slid down Harry’s cheek and his neck, and at the change, he opened his eyes to look at her again. She took another step forward, leading him toward her as her eyes fell to his lips, meeting his eyes as they hovered dangerously close to one another. The light blinked on and Y/N pressed her lips against Harry’s. They melted into each other instantly. Harry placed one of his hands to her neck and the other one to her hip, bringing her closer. She breathed against him, the rest of the world around them disappearing completely as they drew out the kiss.

His tongue traced her bottom lip, making a shiver run up her spine. Gently, she slipped her tongue into his mouth, making sure she did not overwhelm him, that it was okay. He instantly complied, stroking his against hers, swirling his around hers sensually, lighting Y/N on fire. She moaned into him, gripping at the hair at the back of his neck as their mouths opened wider, welcoming more of the other to enter and entrance them completely. She ran her other hand over his chest, wrapping it around him, while Harry’s slid down along her back, stopping just before he reached her bum, squeezing her a little as if he wasn’t mentally ready to go down there just yet tonight. The bell room continued to illuminate up, shining its guiding light out across the ocean, helping sailors home and to their final destinations. However, neither Y/N nor Harry could even remember where they really were as they continued to kiss one another. She felt his moan on her tongue, a slight whimper that he had not been able to hold back as they deepened the kiss. They instantly got more frantic; desperate, harder. She pushed against him more forcefully, wanting to taste and feel all of him.

For an instant, and what felt like for the first time since they had known each other, Harry took control. He pressed her against the bar with the lamp, keeping one hand on her neck, thumb at her chin, and the other on her waist. She gasped at the suddenness, her entire body aflame as Harry kissed along her jaw, tilting her head as to get better access. She could not help the contented sigh that left her lips, pushing him even closer to her, wrapping her left leg around his right one as to ensure he did not step away from her.

He whispered her name against her neck, leaving wet kisses along the skin that was exposed and that he could reach without removing the high neck of her jumper. He kissed the tip of her jaw, sucking lightly, and she could not hold back her whimper. It seemed to have had an effect on him that she herself had not anticipated, yet absolutely adored. Between them, pressed against her tummy, she could feel him. It seemed to have startled him as well, maybe not having anticipated it to happen that quickly, but he kissed along her neck again, seemingly not really caring anymore. He wanted her to know just how much power she held over him. He came back to her face, lips hovering above hers. They panted against one another, not letting each other go as the rain outside picked up, thunder rumbling in the distance, and the light that Y/N was pressed up again kept lighting up the ocean ahead.

“I, uhm…” Harry stared down, swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry ‘bout… that.”

Y/N smiled, shaking her head slightly. “Don’t apologise for that.” She brought her leg further up, twining it more around him to bring him closer. As if it was instinctual, Harry reached for her thigh, helping her bring it up to his waist. She let out another sigh, loving how he drew closer to her in the process of yanking her leg up higher. Their eyes met again, and she leaned her forehead against his.

“I thought we agreed on a ‘no kissing rule’,” Harry mumbled, lips brushing against hers as he spoke. “I thought you didn’t want to kiss me.”

“I want to kiss you; I just don’t want it to be part of our fake relationship.”

“This has nothing to do with that.” He moved to kiss her again and spoke against her lips. “I need to ask you, though, before anything more happens.”

She watched him, the sight of him slightly blurry but she did not care.

“There’s… There’s a bed… downstairs if you'd be interested in… you know…”

She smiled.

“In what?”

Harry smiled, giggling a little as he leaned his forehead against hers again. “I don’t want there to be mixed signals, so I’m just… I’m just gonna fucking say it.”

“Say it.”

He gripped her knee tighter. “Do you want to have sex with me? ‘Cause I… I mean, it’s not the sexiest way to go about it, just asking like that, but I… it’s very obvious that I would like- very much like to… you know, if you’d like. I don’t want to-“

She chuckled and Harry stopped talking, smiling at her. “I think asking is very sexy. Mixed signals aren’t sexy.”

“You’re right.”

She leaned in, pressing a light kiss to his lips.

“Flower,” he mumbled, voice rasping ever so slightly, making heat instantly pool between her thighs. “Would you let me make you feel good?”

“Do you think you can?”

Harry met her eyes, a crooked smile coming to his lips. “I’ve had no complaints before.”

“No complaints from Emilia?”

A slight furrow appeared between his brows before it lifted, his smile came back and it got wider. “You really were jealous of her.”

“She got to be close to you.”

“Well,” Harry said, eyes fluttering to her lips. “You’re close to me now. You’re closer to me than anyone’s ever been before.”

Y/N squeezed him closer, biting her lip before she said, “Yes.”

“You… you want to go downstairs?”

“Yes.”

Harry’s smile grew so wide it was hard for him to fight just how giddy he was getting at her words. He stepped away from her, taking her hand in his. They left the blinking bell room, climbing down the ladder, Harry securing the hatch before he turned to face Y/N again. Once they were in the near darkness of that room, they kissed again, desperate to feel one another again. This happened almost on every single floor – pressing each other up against a wall, needy to feel, to taste, to be close – as they could simply not help themselves.

Once they reached the floor, Y/N instantly recognised the door and where they were headed. On her first trip to the lighthouse, she had seen a bed in that room, the door had been half open, but Harry had closed it on their way down. Now, Harry opened it for her, letting her inside. It was tiny. A twin bed stood at the far end, its white sheets made neatly over it, while the desk – which stood perched right under a small window that was being attacked by harsh rain - was filled with photographs of Harry’s family. Him, Amos, Jessa, and Grace. There was a dresser with a vase on top, a bouquet of dead flowers in it that it seemed Harry had forgotten completely about.

Harry closed the door behind them. “This used to be my dad’s room. When it was stormy, he’d stay in here. The door sometimes opens on its own, logically I know it’s just a draught, but…” He shrugged his shoulders and Y/N knew what he meant.

Instead of focusing on that – because they could talk about this in the morning – Y/N said, “Kiss me.”

Harry wasted no time. He marched over to her, pressing his lips hard against hers as he started walking her backwards toward the bed. He let her lay down first, taking her rain boots off before she wiggled up to the top, watching as Harry crawled his way up to her, hovering his lips over hers as to tempt her. She tried to lean up to kiss him since he was taking too long, but he moved further away.

“Twat.”

He chuckled, grinning down at her. “How long do you think you can stand not kissing me?”

She brought her hand up to his neck, bringing him down towards her lips. They kissed again – finally. She felt Harry smile against her lips.

“Needy.”

“You were taking too long.”

“You just can’t get enough of me, can you?”

She wanted to roll her eyes at him, but he was correct. She wrapped her legs around him, bringing his core down onto hers. Harry groaned into her; his erecting cock pressed against her heat. He melted into her instantly, burying his hands in her hair.

“Neither can you,” she whispered back, making Harry let out a breathy chuckle.

“I also just want to make it clear,” he said against her lips. “If anything I do is not working, doesn’t do anything for you, doesn’t feel good, or if you want to try something new, a new position or anything like that, tell me, yeah?”

She smiled, nodding her head as they kept kissing. “Yeah. Same goes for you.”

“Do you have a favourite position?”

Y/N froze a little, thinking to herself and blushing when Harry looked down at her.

“What?” he asked.

“I’ve… only ever really done two.”

“Two… positions?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s fine, did you enjoy them?”

“Yeah, I did. Sex was never really been about enjoyment as much as it was about closeness.”

Harry furrowed his brows. “You should enjoy sex, Y/N.”

“I know, I know. I just… I used to set fire to myself to keep others warm. I realised that was not what I should be doing, which is why I ended up in St Ives. With you. Here.”

Harry leaned down again, pressing a lingering and deep kiss to her lips. “You will enjoy yourself and feel real fucking good tonight, yeah? We’ll find something that works for both of us.”

She smiled. “Time will tell.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I’ll feel real fucking good.”

Harry halted a little as he heard that word slip from her lips. He had never heard it before. She felt the effect it had on him against her. “I’ll show you, flower.”

He reached down to the hem of her jumper and the two got it off her, throwing it to the floor before they started kissing again. She wrapped her legs around him again, resting her heels at the top of his bum, urging him closer to her. Slowly and deliberately, Harry grinded against her, revealing them both of a small fraction of pleasure, increasing the anticipation that was building in the air around them. Hard against her most delicate spot. She felt a desperate need to reach for him, to feel him right there, as ready for her as she was for him, but she liked this much better. Feeling him moan against her, the slow waves of his hips as he stroked his growing erection against the heat between her legs that was aching. His promise lingered in the back of her head, making her nipples perk at the thought. You will enjoy yourself and feel real fucking good tonight.

Harry’s hand slipped down the front of her white summer dress, lingering over her breast where he felt her already hard nipple. He squeezed her breast, bringing what he could of the nipple between his index and middle finger, squeezing lightly as he started kissing down her jaw. An uncontrollable moan left her mouth as he kissed her neck, chest, between her covered breasts. She felt hot all over as he kissed his way down, leaving no spot untouched by his swollen lips. He reached her thighs, kissing up her right one, leaving wet spots that got cold in the crisp air of the lightkeeper room.

“Turn over,” he said, sitting up on his knees to make the process easier for her.

She did as he told her to without hesitation. Again, he leaned over her, nose nuzzling her hair as he kissed her exposed shoulder. Each one of the kisses he trailed down her shoulder place, and back felt like a declaration of love; felt like a promise of forever, of safe keeping. Right in that moment, she realised she had never felt more appreciated or more turned on. She felt so seen, so important, as Harry kept kissing her back, sucking on her skin, humming moans of absolute delight into her that made goosebumps appear all over her. He reached for the zipper of her dress, kissing her shoulder before he whispered, “Okay if I undress you?”

“Please.”

Harry unzipped her dress, leaving a lingering kiss to her shoulder as he shoved both the straps off her shoulders. She took them off, letting the dress hang loosely over her breasts. Just because she felt like it, she lifted her arse off the bed, pressing it against Harry’s hard-on. It took him off guard and he gasped a little into her ear, but quickly took a grip around her waist. He pressed down hard on her, parting her bumcheeks as his protruding cock could now be seen, and felt, outside his denim shorts.

“Fuck,” he breathed as he grinded against her. His hands slipped down further, hovering over her centre, laying a slight pressure on her over her dress and knickers that was exactly what Y/N needed right then.

“Harry,” she whimpered, feeling him moan at her utterance.

“Dreamed about you saying my name like that,” he mumbled, kissing her shoulder again. “Sound even fucking better than I could’ve imagined.”

He placed more pressure on her, making her gasp and throw her head back slightly, leaning it against Harry’s beside her. They grinded against one another, absolutely lost in this seductive dance that they would have no problem doing forever. Panting a little, Harry kissed her shoulder again, knowing that they could not go on like that, no matter how much they wanted, because he would surely not be able to handle much of it before finishing. The heat between Y/N’s legs was excruciating, she could barely take it as Harry pulled her dress completely off her, exposing her naked back to him.

“On your knees.”

She did as he demanded, getting on her knees in the bed as Harry positioned himself right behind her. He ran his hands over her wet knickers, wanting to properly feel all of her now that he finally had her there. It sent a lightening up her spine, making her moan as he reached her bud, flicking it slowly. He kissed the outside of her knickers before he ran his tongue over her, the hot wetness of him on her made her gasp, sweet torture that she both welcomed and hated. Hooking his fingers under the hem of her knickers, he slid them over her bum and down her legs, and. Again, she felt cold as her wet skin was exposed to the chill room they were in, Harry’s ragged breaths didn’t exactly make it better. She whimpered slightly as she felt his breath go from cold to hot, she could feel the heat of his body radiating against her cunt and bum. With help of her hands, she raised, looking over her shoulder at him to see him there, only his eyes visible as he hovered in front of her.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N,” he whispered, planting a kiss to her bum before he went back to the place she had just been. “I’ll make you come, flower.”

“Actions speak louder than words,” she said, panting slightly in anticipation.

Harry smiled at her, she thought she saw a slight wink before he hovered back over her centre. She was about to tell him to just get on with it when she felt his tongue, hot and wet and hard, between her folds. She gasped again, closing her eyes at the impact. He licked up between her folds first, making sure to taste every last bit of her as he had thought about this for so long. He started off with a light pressure on her clit, licking around it, sometimes over it, driving Y/N absolutely insane. He slowly built up the pressure, making sure he did not overwhelm her, staying focused on the clit the entire time. He wrapped his lips around it, sucking lightly, something that made Y/N throw her head back, letting go of a loud moan that had Harry humming into her.

“Yes,” she gasped, fists buried in the white sheets under her.

He let go of her bud, licking up around the clit again, then over it, flicking it quickly while tipping his head to the side. She bit her bottom lip, looking over her shoulder at Harry as he continued to eat her out, eyes closed as if he was eating the feast of his life. Once again, he wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking lightly at first and building his pressure. Whimpering and panting, Y/N kept looking at Harry, the sight of him behind her like that, doing everything in his power to make her feel good – and succeeding – was so bloody hot.

When she had made her way up here today in the rain, she had never in her wildest dream this was where she would end up. On all fours, Harry seated behind her, eating her out. She had thrown away any hope of him even feeling a smudge of what she felt for him, but tonight, up in the light room, everything changed. Everything they said, and how they opened up to one another. She felt quite literally euphoric; static with adoration and completely engrossed in everything he did.

Harry moved up, slipping his tongue inside her hole, hands sliding down her thighs as he penetrated her. She swallowed thickly, biting at her bottom lip before she met his eyes.

“Doesn’t do anything.”

“Hm?” He moved up, eyes wide as he licked around his lips. “My tongue in you?”

“Yeah. Feels like you’re mushing mash into me.”

Harry laughed, resting his forehead against her bum as he shook, she chuckled as well.

“Don’t hold back,” he said.

“Sorry.”

“No, I’m glad you told me, flower.”

“Also,” she said as he started licking her again, she gasped slightly. “Can we switch? I want to watch you properly.”

Harry blinked slowly, smiling at her as he emerged. “Gladly.”

She turned around, placing herself on her back, Harry stopped to take her in, eyes gliding over her naked body in front of him. He cupped her face in his hands, kissing her deeply as he ran his hands over her tits, squeezing them just hard enough before he lowered them and himself. He positioned himself exactly where he’d been, spreading her legs wider for him.

He sucked on her clit again, this time pushing a finger into her. She instantly moaned loudly, burying her hands in his hair. Harry wrapped an arm around her thigh, holding her in place as he continued to lick at her clit, curving his finger ever so slightly as to make her feel the best she possibly could. She squirmed under him, her orgasm coming on much faster in this position than the last, streaming down her legs, her torso, towards the centre between her thighs where Harry was sucking at her most sensitive spot, pounding his finger into her. She tugged at his hair as she could feel it coming on closer.

“Harry,” she moaned and at once he reached up outside her thigh, cupping her breast in his large hand.

He ran a thumb over her nipples as he flicked at her clit, finger still buried inside her, watching as she started moving and panting and whimpering more and more. He moved his finger faster and sucked her bud, which was exactly what Y/N needed, she cried out, moving her hips with Harry’s fingers. He squeezed her breast, and she met his eyes, seeing his dark green eyes under his long lashes, drinking in the sight of her. He suddenly hit a spot that had fires erupt in her lower tummy. Y/N gasped and let out another loud moan, whimpering under Harry as he licked and fucked her through her orgasm. She did not take her eyes off him and he did not look away from her, ordering her to keep watching till she was completely down from her euphoria.

Y/N was sprawled out panting, smiling as Harry came up to hover above her. She took a grip of his neck, kissing him deeply. He tasted of her.

“I’ll go get a condom in the cottage,” he mumbled. “I-If that’s alright with you, of course. We don’t have-“

“-I want to.”

“Alright. Brilliant.” He stumbled as he got up from the bed in a hurry. “I’ll-I’ll be right back, yeah? Don’t move! I’ll-“ He looked over his shoulder as he stood in the open doorway, a huge sigh leaving his lips as his eyes wandered over her naked body. He shook his head slightly, letting out a chuckle of disbelief. “Fuckin’ hell,” he mumbled before running down the stairs and out of the lighthouse.

It did not take long for him to come back, condom in hand and panting as if he’d been sprinting back and forth. He closed the door again, placing the condom on the corner of the desk beside the bed, crawling back over her again.

“Been away from this for too long,” he mumbled, running a hand over her curves. “And your tits are bloody fantastic, by the way.”

She laughed at him, swatting his shoulder as he reached for the hem of his jumper and tee shirt, bringing both over the top of his head and throwing them to the floor.

“I’d been looking forward to doing that,” Y/N said.

“What, undress me?”

“Yes.”

His eyes seemed to darken a bit. “Take off the rest.”

And she did. Keeping eye contact, she reached for the front of his denim shorts, undoing the button and unzipping him. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the slight pressure and caress of her fingers against his anticipating and hard prick seemed to do more to him than she thought it would. She hooked her finger around the band of his shorts and boxers, wiggling them down his hips till they were far enough down for him to do the rest. One hand supporting his weight, he used the other one to help her take his clothes off, but her eyes fell to his cock immediately.

It wasn’t like she had thought of it before. Yes, she might’ve had some dreams and daydreams involving Harry and her doing some very filthy things, but she hadn’t really let herself think about his prick. But there it was, and she felt absolutely giddy with anticipation now. She wanted to have proper sex with him; she wanted it so, so bad.

Harry reached for the condom, tearing it open and putting it on, hand sliding down his shaft and to the pubic hair at the very bottom. Seeing the slight trail from his navel and down to it made her mouth water.

“You alright?” Harry asked, that crooked smile on his lips making Y/N’s cheeks heat up. She was already flustered all over, she did not need him looking at her like that. He knew she had been looking and now he was taking the piss. As usual.

“How do you want me?” he asked, voice husky.

She bit her bottom lip, cocking her head to the side. “I dunno.”

He groaned, hovering closer to her lips. She felt him against her sensitive spot, making her gasp. “What can I have?”

She tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. “I want to be on top.”

That crooked smile came forth again, his dimples deepening. “Yes, ma’am.”

Taking a grip of her waist, he rolled around, making her lay on top of him. His head was on the pillow, right where hers had just been, so Y/N sat up. She took a grip of him, making Harry’s lips part at the impact. He gripped her thighs that were straddling either side of his hips, squeezing her lightly as encouragement. She sat up, bringing him to her, sliding him over the wetness he had caused. He let out a shaky breath, looking to be just as nervous as Y/N felt. She slid down onto him slowly, Harry’s eyes fluttered shut.

“Fuck,” he hissed, and Y/N gasped again.

“Harry,” she said, a little breathless already. “I’ve… I’ve never been on top before.”

He smiled. “That’s fine, here-“ He placed his hands on her hips, urging her to move. She followed his lead, biting her bottom lip hard as her clit rubbed against his pelvic area. “That’s it.”

She continued to grind against him, moving her hips as he was instructing her. Placing her hands on his chest for support, she started moving a little hard, with a little more purpose, Harry’s hands on her thighs a grounding and intense pressure.

“Keep doing that,” he encouraged, letting a moan slip from between his swollen lips. She rolled her hips, loving the filthy sounds they made as the rain kept on crashing against the window. They continued to look into each other’s eyes, not daring to look away as if it would bring them back to reality. Because this was too good to be true. Never before in her life had Y/N felt like this. She felt powerful as she rode Harry, felt a sort of strength in her that had never been present before. It had never been like this with Dominic; it had never been this intense. He hadn’t demanded she order him around, hadn’t been willing or suggested to try new things, hadn’t really done it like this. Harry looked at her as if the world revolved around her alone. As if the centre of the solar system was right here, and he was watching the sun about to eclipse, watching one of the most beautiful and magnificent moments in time. He gripped into her with feverish hands, coming with suggestions every once in a while, always letting her know just how good she was making him feel.

“That’s right,” he moaned as she moved her hips in circles. “Right there. Don’t stop.”

That might just have been the sexiest thing she had ever heard along with his moans. She continued doing exactly what she was doing, feeling her entire body heating up as she could sense her second orgasm that evening. Thinking about it, she wasn’t sure she had ever come twice in one night before. Maybe it was Harry, maybe it was the moment, maybe it was the fact that her and Harry were finally letting their guard down, admitting that there was something else between them besides their fake relationship. People who fake dated each other did not kiss like that, they did not have sex, they did not look at each other like it was all they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. No, this was more than what they had let on. Way more.

Harry sat up, making Y/N fall against his chest as he bent his knees ever so slightly. He placed one hand on her bum and the other on the mattress behind him as to help him move more swiftly. With each stroke over him, Harry thrusted back into her, rubbing at her bud each time and making everything around her seem much more colourful.

“Like that do you?” Harry asked, mouth parted as he panted into her wet lips.

She nodded her head, taking a grip of his shoulders to better move her hips. They moved together, looking into each other’s eyes as the rest of the world disappeared completely around them. The rain, the thunder, the buzzing of the light from upstairs turning on and turning off, it was all tuned out. Harry leaned down, placing one of his hands on her left breast to kneed it seductively. He kissed from her collarbone and down to her breast, sucking and nibbling lightly on her skin as he made his way to her nipple. Sucking it lightly, he looked up at Y/N who was squeezing his shoulders, telling him to keep going. Electricity shot from her tits and down her spine, heating up the fire that was building in her core. He closed his eyes as he sucked and kissed her tits, humming into her and making her moan time and time again. It felt so fucking good. Though she moved a little awkwardly, though they made some sounds together that made both of them laugh and heat up, though they were still trying to figure out what the other liked, this was still the best either had ever had.

As he was closing in on his finish, Harry wrapped both arms around her, bringing her closer to him. They kissed, desperate pleads and whimpers left each of their mouths as everything started setting on fire. Harry moved his hips with her, she tried to continue to move hers along with him, her hips shaking a little with the effort. Harry’s lips parted completely all of a sudden, a furrow appearing between his brows, and she felt it. He twitched against her and she continued to grind her hips, moving him through his orgasm. Looking deep into her eyes, he seemed to completely melt away when she kissed his bottom lip, sighing against him as she herself started getting closer to her second orgasm as well.

“I’ll help you,” Harry said. “I’ll use my hand, if you want?”

“Yes, please.”

He removed his cock from inside her, meeting her eyes as his thumb circled her clit again. Y/N gasped, gripping both sides of Harry’s neck. His lips parted at the pressure, grinning up at her. He brought his other hand forward, slipping his index and ring finger into her while his other thumb continued to flick at her clit. At once she moaned, looking into his eyes as this brought her closer to her climax, fast. She moved with his hand, moaning louder and louder as the fire inside her tummy intensified, feeling even greater than the time before. Harry curled his finger just as he leaned down, sucking on her nipple again, looking up at her through hooded eyes.

Everything exploded and she threw her head back, unable to stop herself. The sound of Harry pounding into her at a fast speed, wet and filthy, echoed through the room with her exclamation of euphoria. Harry continued till she was completely done, watching her as she closed her eyes, breathing heavily above him. Gently, he removed his fingers from inside her, bringing them up to his mouth to lick them clean just as she opened her eyes again.

Y/N felt at peace. Her heart was still thundering away inside her chest, her soul was still intermingled with Harry’s, and they would not let go of one another. They didn’t need that lamp, they didn’t need a lighthouse, they could light up everything on their own. She was sure that at some point tonight, while their bodies grinded together and worked toward climax, they had lit up like the sun. What was going on between them, the cellular reaction, the emotional connection, the physical attraction, it all equated to something. It had to. What this was, was greater than either of them individually. This would forever be marked on their souls. Meeting Harry, spending this summer with him, it had shaped her into a brand-new person. That was, Y/N reminded herself, what love was all about after all. Change for the better.

Harry got a cloth not long after, helping clean Y/N up before they both slipped under the duvet in the lightkeeper room, squished together as the bed was way smaller than what they were used to. Harry ran his hand from Y/N’s cheek and up to her shoulder, his eyes following his hand’s movement.

“I fucking worship you, Y/N,” Harry mumbled, the rain still pouring outside. He caressed his fingers gently over her jawline.

She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. They both closed their eyes and Y/N felt sleep coming closer. She felt so incredibly content, cuddled up to Harry and with the storm raging outside. A couple a seconds away from falling asleep, Harry started whispering against her forehead.

“Play fair with my heart, yeah?” It seemed like he thought she was asleep. That it was safe to say this. “’Cause I’m gonna fall in love with you. You don’t have to love me back, but I’m telling you now, ‘cause it’s inevitable, at one point, I’ll love you. Madly, truly, completely. Just… please… break my heart gently.”

Before she was able to form any sort of reply, she fell asleep.

A/N: If you wonder what the melody Harry wrote for that day spent in St Austell with Y/N and Gracie sounds like, I imagine it goes something like this 🥰

NEXT UPDATE: Sunday, 25 October, 9PM GMT!

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A HUGE thank you to my amazing and beautiful beta readers! 🌊 @aileenacoustic​​​ 🌊 @bopbopstyles​​​ 🌊 @fromyourstrulyh​​​ 🌊 @harrys-shrooms 🌊 @honeydearly​ 🌊 @summerfeelng 🌊 @watermelonsuger​​​​ 🌊  @withallthelove-a​​​​ 🌊

[heretherebedork]

The Battle Royale is back!! This time: Uke edtion 2.0: the comeback!! (This time: the battle is randomized and shuffled!)

Now who among here excretes the most uke energy? A gaybie? A soft uke? A perfect Uke? And the contestants are:

Taekyung vs. Adachi

Sky (GB) vs. Tae Joo (Eyes Linger)

Pi vs. Gene

Tian vs. Pharm

ShuYi vs. Shi Lei

Zhao Zi vs. Si Qi

Meen vs. Tine

Jin vs. Arthit

Kit (Gen Y) vs. Wad (SOTUS S)

Karl vs. Gavreel

Tutor vs. Knock

Mico vs. Jaime

Reb vs. Jim

Tong vs. Folk

Paii vs. Wayo (2moons2)

Beam vs. Kit (Both 2moons2)

Mon vs. Shi Gu

Chon vs. Mes

Masuk vs. Nuea

King vs. Third

Puth vs. Boss (My Engineer)

Kao (DBK) vs. Kao (Oxygen)

Chol vs. Xingsi

Mu Ren vs. Yu Hao (Crossing the Line)

Pete (LBC) vs. Fiat

Yeon Woo (Color Rush) vs. Ki Wan (Ryu's Wedding)

Hin (Chance to Love) vs. Hin (Lovely Writer)

Aey vs. Yi Chen (Obsessed)

Pao vs. Ake

Phai (Gen Y) vs. Wayu (Gen Y)

Day (Sotus S) vs. Zon (WhyRU)

Typhoon vs. Mekhin (Close Friend)

Team vs. In

Guitar vs. Ray (Close Friend)

Type (2gether) vs. Sang Ha (Mr. Heart)

Sheng Zhe (Right or Wrong) vs. Shao Fei

Frong vs. Duen

King vs. Sky (My Day)

Ou Wen vs. Minh Hoang

Can vs. Techno

Yu Zhen vs. Bunn

Bonus: (Ga On vs. Da On)

This time, anyone can play! Feel free to play this game! It's open to all!

I'd also like to dare @absolutebl and @raiko101 to try this one! Hehehe

and also: thank you @absolutebl for your posts! I also learned a lot from you! prolly half of these characters came from you so, yay thanks!

Goodluck!

Ahaha, wow, my anons are pulling in my mutuals? Again? My life is wild here, y'all. Yay Battle Royale Anon! How did you know I have time to kill before Golden Blood?

Also, this one is fascinating because how does one define uke? Because some of these characters might be bottoms but I wouldn't define them as ukes because ukes are typically the ones being pursued. So I've sort of been trying to figure that out and so some of these get some odd answers depending on the character. Is an uke defined as what most straight girls think of a bottom? Is an uke the character being pursued or who needs to be taken care of?

... Look, uke is an ever-evolving word, especially from when I first joined fandom. So it's very interesting!

Taekyung vs. Adachi

Adachi has to win this. I love Taekyung to death and he's my tiny gaybie but Adachi just... he's darling and small and he needs to be protected and pursued and he just... fits more of what I think of as an uke. Now, this is probably because this is a Japan (creator of the uke/seme dynamic as we know it) versus Korea (who really don't do strong seme/uke dynamics) thing rather than a character thing. Since uke really is in the relationship and not just the character...

Sky (GB) vs. Tae Joo (Eyes Linger)

It's Sky. Sky is a baby. Sky is absolutely baby. He's in need of so much love and care and protection. Although Tae Joo is close and he definitely needs it, it's in a different way. Plus, Sun is gonna take a bullet for Sky and I am an absolute sucker for that. But they're such good characters to contrast.

Pi vs. Gene

I gotta admit that I'm giving this to Gene. Now, this is because of the show. I want Gene to be taken care of by his love. I want Nubsib to love and care for Gene. I don't want Pi to be take care of. I want Pi to go be independent and pissy somewhere else without ever thinking about Mork again.

Tian vs. Pharm

Pharm had to win this. I love Tian, don't get me wrong. But Tian and Phupha have a different dynamics than Dean and Pharm. Dean and Pharm definitely lean more towards what I would consider a seme/uke relationship and, thus, Pharm wins. Also, tiny gaybie Pharm almost always wins.

ShuYi vs. Shi Lei

This is so interesting because it's Taiwan vs Taiwan and they don't do the really strong seme/uke... but yeah, it's Shu Yi. Shu Yi 100%. Shi Lei is an uke but he's not as much of one as Shu Yi. Shu Yi is such a darling who just needs so much love.

Zhao Zi vs. Si Qi

It's Zhao Zi. Look, I adore Si Qi. He's a darling. But Zhao Zi is just gaybie energy x100 alongside abandonment issues and that sunshine over sadness energy is just A+.

Meen vs. Tine

This one is hard. They're both such ukes, such little gaybies... But I like Meen more, so I'm going with him. He was the bright spot in the show where Tine was, ironically, one of my least favorite characters in his show.

Jin vs. Arthit

I had to give this to Jin. He just loved being pursued so much and all the attention and the little gifts from Bbomb just made him so happy. He couldn't help himself. Arthit just didn't quite have that with Kongpob, as much as I love them together. Different vibes.

Kit (Gen Y) vs. Wad (SOTUS S)

Kit is basically the perfect example of a tsundere uke. Like, he is the platonic (lol) ideal. And I love him for that so much. He's definitely one of my favorite characters just in general and such a little tsundere uke he has to win.

Karl vs. Gavreel

This one is a bit harder. Ugh. Like, you could claim it for either one and also argue that neither one is exactly an uke... but I'm gonna give it to Gavreel. Mostly for levels of realism. Karl is just so realistic it's hard to call him an uke.

Tutor vs. Knock

Yeah, it's Tutor. He was tough as nails but he melted so nicely under Fighter's hands and just falls apart and gets sick without him and that's just... such an uke thing, okay? SUCH an uke thing.

Mico vs. Jaime

I had to go with Mico. I love Mico. He's such a darling and absolutely radiates gaybie in need of love energy at all times and I still desperately wish that Hello Stranger the movie had given him more of a chance at the end rather than a rush.

Reb vs. Jim

... It's Reb because Jim just annoyed me mostly. Also, Reb is tiny and adorable and has that super innocent gaybie energy that makes him a bit more real but also a bit more uke. I dunno, this is what I mean about the definition of uke. It's hard to pin down for me!

Tong vs. Folk

Look, I get it, I'm the only person who preferred IttPai to PureFolk. I GET IT. But that just means I'm gonna pick Tong because PokTong was the best pairing beside MarkKit and also holy shit sex and holy shit the love they share that they damaged and hurt so much together... ugh, uke energy be damned, I'm choosing my favorite.

Paii vs. Wayo (2moons2)

Yo is ultimate uke. He's such an uke is almost hurts. Like, he always wins this. Every time. No question or hesitation.

Beam vs. Kit (Both 2moons2)

Kit wins again. Because Kit is a tsundere uke and, frankly, 2moons2 Kit is even MORE of the perfect tsundere uke because he also melts. He melts so hard and so fast and it's adorable beyond belief.

Mon vs. Shi Gu

Sorry, Shi Gu, but Mon is such an uke. Like holy sheesh this boy. This most darling boy. He's tiny and gaybie and adorable and PORTABLE and yeah, he's super uke.

Chon vs. Mes

I'm gonna give it to Chon because he's just... a bit more? To me. He's more of an uke and I love him for it. Tough as nails uke boy with a lot of of darlingness. Yeah, just gotta go with my heart.

Masuk vs. Nuea

I might like Nuea more but I think Masuk has more uke vibes. They're still weak but they're there and I just gotta give it to my darling Masuk. He's so soft and needs so much love and a lot of care.

King vs. Third

Third is ultimate uke. Crying in a shower? Weeping over everything? Very protective friends? Yeah. YEAH. He wins this.

Puth vs. Boss (My Engineer)

Puth just isn't an uke to me. He's got different vibes. But Boss? Boss is an uke and adorable and he just wants to finally love Mek openly and honestly and just be held and goofy and ride on his back. And seriously, love the boy.

Kao (DBK) vs. Kao (Oxygen)

Ugh, this is hard because I'm not 100% on how much an uke Kao (Oxygen) is and I don't really think about DBK ever... I'll give it to Oxygen. I love Oxygen and I miss Kao.

Chol vs. Xingsi

Xingsi wings this by being the most take over uke ever, the one who definitely wants to be spoiled but also knows exactly how he wants to be spoiled and isn't afraid to show it. Gotta love him.

Mu Ren vs. Yu Hao (Crossing the Line)

I gotta give this to MuRen. CTL had almost no seme/uke energy but they definitely went harder in CTY. So... MuRen wins by virtue

Pete (LBC) vs. Fiat

Screw you, they're both ultimate ukes. Everybody wins!

Yeon Woo (Color Rush) vs. Ki Wan (Ryu's Wedding)

I had to go with Yeon Woo. Like, I had to. What a darling little uke who needed to be chased and needed to be convinced and needed to be saved from himself and the other people who love him.

Hin (Chance to Love) vs. Hin (Lovely Writer)

Lol, I had to go with Chance to Love because, like, look at that boy. He gave up everything in the hopes that his seme would be happy and just... what a tiny darling. Sadly, Hin didn't get any romance. So... outta luck, child.

Aey vs. Yi Chen (Obsessed)

Obsessed is just all about the seme/uke dynamic. I had to give it to Yi Chen. Like, had to. Absolutely had to.

Pao vs. Ake

Neither are my favorites but I have to give the uke energy to Pao. Ake is adorable and all but Pao just radiates that 'I'm a baby take care of me' energy, especially as a ghost.

Phai (Gen Y) vs. Wayu (Gen Y)

Yu is the most uke uke to ever uke. Seriously. What a baby. And he's such an uke he has two semes fighting over him! You can't get much more uke than that, let's be honest.

Day (Sotus S) vs. Zon (WhyRU)

Look, I gotta be honest, I mostly just watch the Kongpob and Arthit scenes of SOTUS S. But also... Zon. Zon is puppy uke. He is tiny, tiny puppy uke and I cannot deny him that title. He deserves it.

Typhoon vs. Mekhin (Close Friend)

I gotta give it to Typhoon. I still don't like that part very much and I just want to protect him from his boyfriend ignoring him and I think part of that is what makes him such an uke. I just want to protect him so badly.

Team vs. In

In's not an uke to me. But Team? I'm good with that. I can handle it. And he needs that care and that love. Also, as I say every time... Between Us must exist!

Guitar vs. Ray (Close Friend)

Gui beats Ray by a hair. BARELY at all. But I just love Gui and his darling softness and just his everything... Ugh, Gui definitely has uke energy.

Type (2gether) vs. Sang Ha (Mr. Heart)

I gotta go with SangHa. What a darling boy. Type is great and all but their relationship is much more equal than anything else. And SangHa is just... this boy who needs to be loved and cared for and then to run alongside his boyfriend.

Sheng Zhe (Right or Wrong) vs. Shao Fei

I gotta give it to Sheng Zhe. I love Shao Fei deeply but Sheng Zhe wins in terms of uke. Like, he's darling and family and sweet and full of love and I love him so much I cannot even.

Frong vs. Duen

Duen gets it, even if I view him as entire asexual and, frankly, more than a bit aromantic. I genuinely think he dislikes being in a committed relationship. But... uke energy? Yeah, he gives out more than Frong.

King vs. Sky (My Day)

King is way more uke than Sky because Sky isn't uke at all. My Day was amazing for having such no seme/uke dynamic, yo. But King? Yeah, he's got that energy with Ram.

Ou Wen vs. Minh Hoang

I'm gonna give this to Minh Hoang. Because Ou Wen isn't uke energy for me. But Minh Hoang has some. Neither of these shows really does the seme/uke energy, honestly. But I can lean a bit more towards Minh Hoang.

Can vs. Techno

I'm giving it to Can despite the unconventional nature of his relationship with Tin and the maturity they show through the show. But I love Can and the want to care for him and I want to protect him. And the more I want to protect a character, the more I go with uke. (Not that I'm a seme, I'm just a sunshine puppy disguised as a person.)

Yu Zhen vs. Bunn

I feel weird but I'm definitely giving it to Yu Zhen. I gotta. I can't help myself. He's such a darling young man who just needs to be taken care of by Shi Lei on every possible level. I mean, boy still doesn't know not to eat gummies. Seriously.

Bonus: (Ga On vs. Da On)

I have to give this to DaOn. I can't help myself. I get the same energy from Ga On but DaOn just sends me away with the need to protect him, seriously.

Holy shit that took me the entire length of The Boy Foretold by the Stars, fyi. BUT I DID IT.

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "A Tour of Odd Squad" Episode Followup, Part 1

Newbies to the fandom might not remember this, but a long long time ago, as part of a charity event for Make-A-Wish Canada, the people behind Odd Squad held an auction for various props used in the show. With it also came a tour of the set, which is how we got the infamous "Walmart canon" bit between Joshua Kilimnik and Olivia Presti.

This...may or may not serve as a continuation. Hard to tell from teaser images and a synopsis. But the vibe is very much the same.

So without further ado, let's get "A Tour of Odd Squad" below the break.

Your writer for this e- oh God.

Well that opening blurb just got yoted into the fire.

Hey, remember when "Off the Clock" established that Odd Squad has Timekeepers that are in charge of all time in the world? Remember how nonsensical that was?

Hahahahaha...ha...aah...

*low pained groan*

And your director, a newcomer to the franchise who...has only done the franchise.

Once again, I will repeat: a 10-year-old franchise is not the best place to start for amateur writers and directors, and please keep them away until they have some good experience.

He went from an agent to an advertiser within the span of one gadget zap.

'S what happens on the job. Your brain gets fried sometimes. That's why lobotomies are handed out like candy!

This...okay, it was fine when Ozzie did it, but now it's just getting stale. We got 11 minutes. Let's hurry this up, please?

Going to set aside Orli's comment (which should be answered with "how do you know they aren't clients?") to discuss something.

See, I want you guys to look at this group. Really look at it. Sweep your gaze all around. Watch the scene itself if you have to.

You will notice...you will notice...there are no children.

Now, this is very much a crackpot theory, but I'm going to pose it based on scraps of previous evidence: this is a jab at older fans of Odd Squad who may or may not have children of their own.

Making jabs at adult fans, and those outside of the demographic in general, is nothing new. Tim himself remarked a long time ago in an interview about the show regarding wearing Odd Squad costumes that "when a kid does it, it's cute. When an adult does it, it's creepy." And no, he's not talking about parents -- parents dressing up in matching costumes with their kids is normal and not creepy. He's talking about the people who don't have kids in the family but watch the show anyway and dress up in agent attire. (I can't say for certain whether those outside the demographic but are under the age of 18 fall under this branch. I wouldn't think it does, but he hasn't said anything official regarding that and I'm not sure if he's even aware teens and young adults who watch the show actually exist in the first place.)

Given how this episode is about two villains one villain joining this superfan group in disguise...it makes me wonder if this episode is some kind of "take that" at adult fans who watch the show, since adults in this franchise are often villainized.

...Ahh I dunno. Maybe it's just me being more cynical than usual. But whether my theory is farfetched or not, you can't deny that there are a couple layers of metaness to it.

Let's move on.

More fake than the smile Oscar put on at the end of "Ms. O Uh-Oh", and with none of the charm and all of the creepiness.

Smile 2's lookin' great.

THE SCOOTER'S BACK!!!! IT DO BE BACK!!!!!! AND I THINK HE DO BE RIDIN' IT!!!!!

...I'm starting to think this is the modern version of that Segway Oscar once drove.

Might as well lay down the one thing I don't like about Orwell: he needs to be stoic all the time. Real calm, like Ocean, but a lot more stoic. This line? Should be said entirely deadpan. Take a few cues from Oksana.

That's what I like.

But that's not what he is. And I'm not too keen on what we're getting.

*long sigh*

Girl with the red hair.

Pack it up, next episode.

"Just avoid taking them anywhere of interest or telling them anything interesting."

Heh...ha...yeah, I dunno, that might be hard to do. It's Odd Squad. Everything is interesting.

Well, your cousin got paired up with a chipper helpful guy.

You, sir, are paired up with an idiot.

These tours will not be the same.

Wh- lmao what is this, Owen and Ohio Mk. II?

What's more offensive: the fact that these villains talked loudly during the movie, or the fact that this Security agent recorded them during the movie?

Both are very sinful and go against theater etiquette. Recording someone without their consent also goes against moral standards.

Ohhh...so it's like "Good Egg Bad Egg" but more meta...

I'd like this math lesson in anything that wasn't meta, in all honesty.

Ohhh...y'see that's how you know they're fancy. They got swivel chairs.

I can see Otis toppling out of them every minute.

"Nine of these people aren't villains, and they deserve a good tour!"

And all of those non-villains...have children.

They can't say it because it makes no sense in the context of the episode, but you know the thought was running through Rob's mind in some capacity.

...

Fine. I will go get the tinfoil hat. Leave me alone.

take criminals to gun range

"hey, anyone wanna shoot some targets with fancy small handguns?"

It is.

The same.

EXACT.

THING.

And this guy was clearly made in my image.

Gadgets, and what they have are blue Macbooks.

I mean...to some degree, they are gadgets, so I can't complain too much...

Osgood better watch out. Man's got competition.

"Hate to say it, but this tour isn't as much fun as I thought it'd be."

Because you're adu- okay, that's a stretch. That's really a stretch.

For about half a second, I thought her name was "O'Crap", but I think it's actually "Okra" and I'm reading too much into it.

If Odd Squad got a parody, though, you know "O'Crap" probably would be one of the names of the agents.

I would have also accepted "DoorDash Danielle", because that's exactly who this lady works for.

...Look at it. It's red. It's DoorDash. Don't fight me on this.

I can already see where this is going.

The guy who got all excited about gadgets is the villain.

...Pack it up, next epi-

Ah, I see Opie's whipping out her hidden sarcasm.

*long deep sigh*

Halfway into the goddamn season and all they can think of in terms of references is to reference a mere two of the thirteen living-legend agents.

I'm not even mad. I'm not even surprised. I'm just sorely disappointed they'd slip a reference to Oscar into a meta episode.

They massacred my boy and now he looks unrecognizable because sounding unrecognizable was not enough.

Security agent

scared of the dark

Sucks for a man who has to "secure the perimeter", huh?

I...okay, but aside from him showing off his scooter...why not just give Opie the earpiece to begin with?

...FUCKING ROB.

(On to Part 2!)