#dumb possum screams

[shitpostingkats]

Wouldn’t it be really funny if Jaden had like The Most Messed Up Traumatizing Childhood but is completely unaware that what he went through isn’t normal? And every time he says something his friends take +1000 points of psychic damage. (It’s like that one meme of the guy in the fast food drive thru talking with the employee looking like they’ve witnessed The Horrors) For example:

Chazz, fed up with whatever dumb crap Jaden has said this time, not expecting a serious response: oh my god why are you like this, were you dropped on your head as a child or something?

Jaden, goes to retort, but then pauses, actually considering something, then half mumbles to himself: hmm you know that might explain the botched lobotomy actually…

Chazz & everyone else in the room: I’m sorry the what

Or alternatively:

Alexis during lunch with the crew hanging outside the Silfer dorms, concerned at how run-down they seem to be getting: Why don’t you move up at all? If you’re that attached to the red, at least see if you can just move into the Ra or Obelisk dorms, I’m pretty sure the Slifer dorms are an actual health risk at this point, the building looks close to collapsing…

Jaden, completely unbothered, eating a sandwich: I mean up until enrollment I was living in a cardboard box in some back alleyway, the Slifer dorms are paradise compared to that. Plus the other dorms are too fancy for me idk-

Everyone: You what.

Jaden, taking another bite of his sandwich, entirely oblivious the growing looks of horror that worsen with every word out of his mouth: I mean it wasn’t so bad, it was only for what? 3 years? The rats were actually pretty friendly if you gave them food scraps! Better than the giant possums at least.

Everyone: The what.

Or!:

Jesse, hanging out with Chazz and Jaden in Jaden’s room and going through decks: You have such a good relationship with Winged Kuriboh, I can tell he cares about you a lot, you must have been friends for a long time!

Jaden, casually sifting through his cards: Oh, no actually, I got him the day of the entrance exams. Actually I didn’t even know I could see duel spirits until I got to the academy. Or at least I think I couldn’t? I have vague recollections of something from way back when, but I try not to think back too far, otherwise the screaming gets in the way

Jesse, completely unexpecting the way he says it so nonchalantly: The,,, screaming?

Jaden: Yeah if I think to like,,, any time before I was 8? All I get is a bunch of static and screaming. Weird huh?

Chazz, half paying attention, once again joking and not expecting anything seriously: Screaming huh? What, you commit a murder or something?

Jaden, once again pausing before contemplating, unaware to the horror building the longer he stays silent, before finally responding: Huh. Y’know that might explain the blood that pops up too actually-

Chazz, now fully paying attention and regretting every life decision that has led him to this point, and is barely holding onto his sanity by a thread: *deep bone-weary sigh* was this before or after the botched lobotomy

Jesse, who is completely and utterly devoted to Jaden, but is unfortunately New and has not yet been exposed to his special brand of out-of-pocketness, and is now internally screaming: excuse me the what-

I’m realizing now I wrote a lot on this BUT I want to see your interpretation too sgshdjd This is just the funniest thing to me, I love it when a character is completely unaware of the psychological damage they unintentionally inflict on others it’s so funny hahashsjsjs (all of the scenarios are from before the Dark World arc do with that information what you will)

Being Jaden's friend is an occupational hazard.

[fruitcoops]

WAIT CAN WE HAVE THE FIRST TIME JAX SAW REGULUS CRY PLEASE PLEASE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY

(bonus points if they comfort him)

 Fic O'Ween Day 4: Dead End, or three times Regulus almost cried in front of his friends and one time he actually did. Thanks to @noots-fic-fests for compiling all these amazing submissions, and to @lumosinlove for a tragically beautiful Regulus <3 Jax, Kris, and Vanessa are OCs of mine!

TW for injury, and canon shitty treatment at the hands of the Snakes

I.

Regulus was really good at not crying. Not crying was the easiest thing in the world. Instead of letting himself get worked up until he spilled over, he could just…not do that. He could swallow it down. Choke it back. The problem was that once he started crying, he couldn’t stop, and since nobody would care either way, it wasn’t worth the effort and embarrassment. He was a grown man. He’d been through worse.

Worse than a B minus, at least.

He was pretty sure.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” he answered mildly. “And yourself?”

Jax’s mouth turned down at the sides. “Uh, can’t complain. What’s…what’s going on?”

Regulus shrugged one shoulder. He couldn’t bring himself to close the tab of his failure. “Preparing for the week.”

“Right.” Jax didn’t sound like they believed him. Unfortunate. He used to be a much better liar.

“I always do that.”

“I know.”

Odd. He hadn’t expected them to know his habits. It had only been three months.

“You seem—” Jax broke off, setting their bag down on the floor with an unusually delicate touch. They leaned against the edge of their desk and gave him a funny look. “Do you want to talk?”

Regulus’ gut twisted on reflex. “About what?”

It came out too harsh—they shrank back slightly, shoulders drooping, dark eyes flicking away. He should apologize. He should.

“What would you like to talk about?” he tried instead.

“Dunno.” That was another thing he was getting used to: the way people started speaking just to speak, to fill the silence. Jax rarely second-guessed their words. Even now, they shifted their weight from one hip to the other only once before beginning again. “I was at the gym this afternoon.”

A strange thing to note. He waited for them to continue; when they didn’t, he mustered an encouraging noise.

“So if you’re ever interested…”

“You want me to come with you?”

“Well, I—if you’re interested—”

“Why would you want that?” What was it about college that made people so vague?

Jax gestured at him with one hand. “I don’t know! You’re in good shape, I guess I figured you were there anyways. And it seems dumb to go at different times when we live together.”

“But then we don’t have to argue for the shower.”

Regulus wasn’t always good at facial expressions, but even he could read the exasperation (though not irritation) in the set of Jax’s eyes and mouth. “I want to spend time with you,” they said bluntly. Kindly. Almost like Sirius, without his awkwardness. They tilted their head to look at him. “You don’t have to, but we haven’t had a lot of time to just hang out. I’m going for a shared hobby here, man.”

Hobby. Regulus didn’t recall the last time he worked out for fun. Never, probably. Running out his feelings on a treadmill made him less likely to curl up under his blankets in a screaming possum ball, but it wasn’t necessarily fun.

In his periphery, his computer screen dimmed. His heart went with it when he wiggled his computer mouse and the reminder of everything bad in the world glared back. “I don’t know if I can,” he said carefully. “I just failed out of English, so I should probably focus on that.”

“Wh—” Jax’s eyebrows shot toward their hairline before knitting in the middle. “How do you know that? It’s not the end of the semester.”

Regulus jerked his chin toward the screen. They followed his gaze. Looked back at him. Back to the computer. Back to Regulus.

“You’re looking at me like that explains everything,” they finally said.

“It’s a. Um.” Bitterness filled his mouth. “B minus.”

“And?”

Are you stupid? Regulus bit his tongue hard enough to make his eyes water. “It’s a B minus,” he repeated. “And so they’re going to kick me out.”

Jax let out a long breath, as if they were holding many things back. Regulus didn’t like it when they did that. He’d feel much better if they just told him they pitied him outright. “That’s not…no, that’s not how that works. Reg, no professor will fail you out of their class because of a B minus.”

The part of his brain that had been running through various explanations when he inevitably slunk back to Sirius’ doorstep came to a sputtering standstill. “Excuse me?”

“Dude, that’s not even a failing grade.”

Something next to his lungs began to shake. “Explain, please.”

“A C is considered average. You’re above average. Do you know that?” Jax’s concern crept back into their face. “It’s important to me that you know that.”

Average.

Above average.

He had been screamed at for above average. Lived in terror of doing his best and being found lacking for above average.

The fury was white-hot and all-consuming, and unexpected enough that he had to blink several times in quick succession to clear the burning from his eyes.

“Reg?”

“Excuse me,” he muttered. He tried to stand and found he couldn’t so much as twitch for fear of combustion.

“Hey.” Jax’s voice gentled. “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Kindness was the cruelest thing university could have given him. It was too-tight shoes and a necktie done just wrong on game day. Regulus felt his nostrils flare around a few deep breaths. A pulsing rod blazed just behind his eye. “You didn’t. Sorry. Yes, we should work out together sometime. Text me when you’re free.”

He stood on unsteady feet, left the dorm, and began to walk.

II.

“Don’t move, don’t move—”

“Shut the fuck up and do not touch me.”

The pain was overwhelming. Regulus’ temple throbbed from the force of squeezing his eyes shut. He could feel them all there, crowding him, closing in with their worry, holding their breath because he was angry and scared and angry because he was scared and scared because he was angry and in pain. And in pain.

He could work through pain. He had done it so many times.

Breathe. His chest didn’t hurt. His shoulders didn’t hurt. His stomach didn’t hurt. The throbbing below his waist could wait until he had taken a few deep breaths.

“Reg?”

Analyze. His leg was too hot and too cold at the same time. Everything below his left hip echoed his pulse, but his shin had a special kind of searing to it. His palms, too. Someone’s fingertips hovered at his pulse point and he twitched away. They stopped. They left him alone.

Do not cry.

The corners of his eyes were too wet in the gentle breeze.

Step Three: Do Not Cry.

“Reg, are you alright?” Kris’ reedy voice should have grated on him.

“I’m fine.” His voice wavered, but did not break. He unclenched his fists and flexed them, wincing at the sting of scraped skin. He took a sharp breath and wiggled his toes—no immediate pain. His leg muscles constricted when he told them to, relaxed when he breathed out.

Move on.

He went to bend his knee and immediately heard four people stumble over each other to stop him.

“You’re fine,” Jax said near his right ear. “But also, please don’t do that.”

Regulus opened one eye and frowned up at them. “Pick one.”

Jax hesitated a half-second longer than his patience. Regulus muttered a curse under his breath and sat up, grimacing at the carnage. The heels of his hands were trashed from the concrete; they would need full gauze, without a doubt. The gash running down his shin bled freely onto his (favorite) jeans and was beginning to seep out onto the ground. He sighed. “That’s not ideal.”

“Can we help?” Kris asked, all big eyes and bigger heart while he fiddled with the zipper of his first-aid kit. “I’d prefer to get a bandage on that before you move much, but we need to wash it out.”

Regulus tried to keep the judgement off his face. It seemed rude. “That’s not necessary,” he said. “But thanks. Pardon.”

Standing turned out to be a bad idea after all. The first bit of weight made his entire bad leg buckle and he narrowly missed crumpling on the ground for the second time in five minutes. Pain lanced up to his hip; Regulus dug his hands into the sidewalk to anchor himself, and when that only made it all hurt worse, settled for a handful of measured breaths.

The touch to his shoulder blade was featherlight. “Let me help,” Vanessa said softly.

Regulus hesitated. Better up than on the concrete, he supposed. He just—what if she couldn’t hold him?

She waited for him to nod before holding a hand out for him to take. Deadlift calluses and a firm grip reminded him just enough of Leo to not pull away when she braced her other hand behind his elbow and hoisted him upright, catching him when he swayed into her. “Easy,” she soothed. “Take your time.”

Regulus felt himself buffer, eyes fixed on her. Thick, dark hair drifted into her face in tiny wisps where it escaped her ponytail. She frowned down at the jagged rock that had cut into him like it personally wronged her.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. The upset vanished from her round face when she looked up again; there was a light squeeze to his torso. He got his weight under him, and yet she didn’t let go. Vanessa’s hold didn’t falter as they limped their way down the sidewalk, supported on every step.

He caught Jax’s eye as they turned toward the engineering building and found them already smiling.

III.

It’s a dumb movie, anyway.

That’s what Regulus told himself, listening to Clare sniffle while Kris watched the screen in openmouthed horror next to him. Jax’s description had been vague at best—something about a house and balloons and an old man’s emotional support Boy Scout.

But here they were, five minutes in, with no sign of balloons, Boy Scouts, or emotional support to be found. Just utter devastation and the inevitable march of death in spite of overwhelming love.

Goddamn mailbox, he thought. This whole problem could have been avoided if those two didn’t love each other to the ends of the earth. Which, of course, only made him think of Sirius’ ability to love with his entire heart and he really hoped Remus didn’t die first because that would be such a nightmare for everyone involved and oh, god, Sirius was going to die someday and leave him there—

“I forgot about this part,” Jax whispered in the darkness of the dorm. Their voice was only just loud enough for Regulus to hear over the movie.

He exhaled, and was surprised by how shaky it sounded to his own ears. “Fuck you.”

“Yeah,” they said sympathetically. “Fuckin’ Pixar. Need a minute?”

Regulus shook his head.

“ ‘Kay.” They sat quietly for another few seconds. A shoulder pressed gently against his own. “Let me know if you do, though.”

+1:

On an unassuming Thursday in April, it happened. The hammer came down. The other shoe dropped. Regulus’ luck ran out, the final bits drip-drip-dripping out into the ether and leaving him in a dead end of his own making.

In a way, it was inevitable.

“Holy shit,” Kris said, quiet and stunned and slower than Jax had ever heard him. His green eyes were blown wide; what had been a comfortable sprawl across his mattress for over an hour was now tense, the catch of breath before a scream. One airpod sat snug in his ear. His phone was lax in his hand and utterly innocent from Jax’s side of the room, save for Kris’ look of growing horror among his confusion.

“Kris?” they ventured. Kris remained silent. Jax’s pulse kicked. “What happened? Come on, man, that’s ominous as hell.”

“It’s Reg.”

Jax’s heart skipped a beat and fell right into the canyon below. “What?”

“He’s—” Kris’ mouth opened and closed a few times. “I don’t…”

“Is he hurt?” Their phone was here somewhere, buried under their notebooks goddamnit their mother was right about the organizing bins— “Kris, is he hurt? What happened?”

“He’s famous.”

They stuttered to a stop with their hand buried in the mess of their backpack.

“I think—I think he is? Or was. Or something. Hey, did you know he played hockey?”

Jax stared at him, then shook their head. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Come see this.” Kris finally looked up, motioning them over with his head as if he couldn’t let go of the damn phone. “Come here, c’mere.”

“Are you seriously about to make me watch a Tik…”

“Regulus, do you have any comments on the rivalry being set up between you and your brother? Does it get in the way of your personal relationship with Sirius at all, being on the Lions and the Snakes?”

“My brother’s got a dirty game—”

Jax didn’t hear the next few words. They were a little too concerned with the sudden absence of the floor beneath their feet.

“—don’t endorse that sort of hockey.”

“And your personal relationship? How about Thanksgiving?”

“What personal relationship?”

Jax closed their eyes. It wasn’t enough.

“As far as I’m concerned, he might as well stay away with the rest of his pack of cubs—”

“Stop.”

Light music halted and left the room in the soft rattle of their ancient radiator.

“This isn’t—stop,” they repeated, though Kris had long since abandoned his phone on the sheers. His pale hands were pressed against his mouth. Jax felt their skin crawl. “This isn’t right. I’m not watching that.”

“He looks sick.”

“Yeah. Jesus, yeah.” Something was wrong in that video. Regulus’ bright, clever eyes were emptier than a scoured pot. A scrape marred his cheek. The violent green of his uniform—jersey, maybe? Or just a shirt?—washed him into a greyed-out version of himself. His hair was cropped harsh and short above his ears, hardly a curl in sight.

Someone was laughing in the background of the video. Jax didn’t like the way he looked at Regulus. There were too many cameras and microphones shoved into his space; Regulus wouldn’t like that, either.

“He doesn’t talk about his brother that way.”

“No,” Kris agreed in a murmur. “No, he doesn’t.”

Not that Regulus talked about his family often, but on the rare occasion it came up, Sirius was always the first one he mentioned. Jax had met him back in September—tall and broad and handsome, with a barking laugh and a voice that carried. Regulus gravitated to him like a magnet, though Jax wasn’t sure it was a conscious habit.

What personal relationship? He might as well stay away.

Kris was right. He did look sick in that video.

“Can you…” God, this felt wrong, but they had to know. “Can I use your phone real quick?”

Kris’ sideways glance made them swallow convulsively. Nevertheless, he picked up his phone.

Search: Regulus Black

Buzzfeed: NHL DROPOUT APPLIES TO…

ESPN: Regulus Black: Where Is He Now?

NHLWorld: Black Jerseys 70% Off—Everything Must…

Hockey Daily Magazine: Broken Contract and Rumors of Court!

#BlackBash

#RegulusBlack

#RegulusBlackSnakes

#BlackSlytherin

#BlackBrothers

#Playoffs2020

#AllStars2020

“Holy shit…”

NHLNews: Player Abuse in Sly…

#RegulusBlackCollege

#RegulusBlackSiriusBlack

@ hockeypalooza: I’m sorry but Regulus Black was the best player that team had ever…

@ slythlife: Black better not show his face in slyth ever again I stg

“When was that taken?”

Kris’ throat bobbed. He turned his phone off. “Last November.”

Jax pressed their fingers to their temples and let a sour breath out. This was too much. Too much. Their skull was going to implode. “Okay. Okay. Christ. Okay. Reg was famous, he left, he’s here now, it doesn’t matter.”

“We can’t tell him we know.” Kris stared into the middle distance—or, no, at Regulus’ bed. Always made, but a little wonky, like he was still figuring out how to do it right. A loose sock laid on the floor by one of his astrophysics books. “He doesn’t want us to know, or he would have said something. I’ve never heard him mention hockey. He said sports weren’t his thing.”

“He was a professional player.”

“For, what, half a season?” Kris’ lips pursed. “I’m not telling him we know. He left for a reason. Fine. That’s his business. He’ll say something when he’s—”

A key scraped against their door lock and Jax…Jax’s organs discovered the miracle of negative acceleration along the y-axis.

Regulus stepped in and slung his bag onto his desk chair. He opened his mouth to speak, saw them, and stopped. Stopped, like a deer staring down a Ford-F150. Every muscle primed and wound tight, as if someone had pressed ‘pause’ on the rotation of the world. His fingertip hovered in the handle-loop of his backpack.

“Oh,” he said simply. “Oh, no.”

And he left.

“Wait,” Kris called, far too weak and far too late. Jax’s brain refocused all in a rush—they both scrambled for the door, slipping on shoes and snatching wallets off whatever horizontal surface they called home.

“Shit, shit shit, shit,” Jax muttered. They shouldn’t have done this. They shouldn’t have looked. Kris was always right, always reasonable, never knee-jerk, so much better at this. They should have known better than to dig where they shouldn’t.

“I’ll check the library,” Kris said, jamming his phone in his back pocket. “I’ll—mother of fuck, this is not what I wanted. I’m deleting TikTok. And Google, fucking Google?”

Jax’s jaw throbbed with tooth-locking guilt. “I know, I know, I shouldn’t have looked, I’m so sorry.”

“Abuse cases? Abuse cases.” Kris swore again and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Fine. Alright. I’ve got the library. Text if you find him first. Holy shit.”

“I’m telling Vanessa to keep an eye out.”

“Good, yeah, whatever.”

Jax fought every urge to sprint down the hallway. Regulus was already long gone. Causing a scene wasn’t going to help. He probably wouldn’t come back to the apartment unless they found him first. Maybe ever. Oh, god, Jax would never forgive themselves if Reg left because they were a nosy little shit with no poker face.

For the first time, Jax wished NYU didn’t span a million city blocks. A fenced-in Ivy in the middle of nowhere would make them miserable, but it would be a hell of a lot easier to corner his flighty roommate when his hiding place wasn’t the entirety of New York City.

Well—well.

Regulus’ backpack was still in the dorm. He kept his wallet in the side pocket, zippered up tight. No MetroCard meant no subways. No student ID meant no twenty-story buildings to slip into. Regulus’ Ultra Panic Mode meant…nothing good, but at least he wouldn’t go far. Jax’s stomach twisted more than usual at the thought of him falling apart alone.

They shot off another text to Vanessa (whose string of ????? was the only correct response to their disaster of an initial message) and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

For a day with the potential to ruin a new and treasured portion of Jax’s life, it was quite beautiful out. The air was crisp and only reeked a little from the crusty hot dog stand down the block; the massive column sticking out of a manhole was missing its usual billow of subway steam and left the sky an unmarred blue above them. They were learning to like the spring on this coast. It was cold, sure, but if they wanted it to feel more like home, they would have gone to California. New York was their escape in every sense. They just—

They just really didn’t want to lose Regulus.

They hadn’t been sure what to make of him at first: so quiet, so reserved, every emotion leashed. But then he was kind and smart and funny in his weird way. He hadn’t fumbled a pronoun since the first day. He came home early from winter break, just so Jax and Vanessa wouldn’t be alone for their last holiday week after flights home fell through.

It wasn’t that Regulus didn’t like them. It was just that he was so very afraid of some looming shadow that had remained unnamed until that very afternoon. Jax couldn’t even blame him for it. If hockey made Regulus that ill, it was a small wonder he did everything in his power to leave it behind.

The bell of the narrow bookstore on 14th street chimed when they entered. The corner seat was unchanged, down to the burnt-orange cushion with a torn side seam. The rest of the shop vanished behind a massive chestnut shelf when they sat, folding their legs up. It was nice in here. Dim lights and a quiet heater. The owner had swapped out the winter candles for fresher springtime scents just a few weeks before.

“I never lied.”

“I know.” They stretched one leg out to roll the tension from their ankle. “You okay?”

“Non. How did you find out?”

His accent was thicker. Upset was etched in every angle in the corner of Jax’s vision. Shame wedged icy fingers between their ribs. “A video popped up on Kris’ TikTok feed. We shouldn’t have watched it.”

“I wouldn’t have told you.”

 “I figured.”

“I wasn’t—I was trying—” Regulus’ jaw ticked. His forehead furrowed as he picked at the laces of his shoes. “You have no idea what it was like. The way it got twisted up, I—and I didn’t want it, and I couldn’t leave.”

Don’t fucking cry.

“I couldn’t get out. Not until that game.” They saw him shake his head minutely. “I wouldn’t have. I wouldn’t have tried.”

“What game?”

“The…” Regulus turned to look at them then, eyes narrowed. “What was in the video?”

My brother’s got a dirty game. What personal relationship?

“You were in a room. I don’t know, there was a lot of hockey stuff around. People had stuff all up in your face.” Jax brought a fingernail to their mouth and bit absently at it. “It was an interview, something about your brother.”

“Fuck.”

The quiet ferocity of it made their heart clench in surprise. Regulus tipped his head back against the cool window. The edges of his lips had gone white with tension and Jax had never felt such regret for honesty in their entire life.

“I hate that fucking video.” It came out hoarse. Jax’s belly went Gordian. “I’m sorry.”

“What? No, dude, I’m sorry. We should have scrolled past it. We should’ve—we should have waited for you to tell us.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Then you wouldn’t,” Jax said gently. “And that’s fine.”

Regulus’ mouth turned down at the corner. “I can be out by Saturday.”

In the throes of disbelief, all they could do was shake their head. “What are you talking about?”

“Didn’t bring a lot of stuff. It shouldn’t take long.”

“Reg, what are you talking about?”

An owl-eyed stare pinned Jax; intense, but not angry. They had been prepared for anger. Not…whatever this was. “Why are you here?” he asked carefully.

“To apologize? Because Kris and I fucked up and you left before we could say anything?”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I do,” Jax insisted. “And clearly not enough people have apologized to you even once in your life, ‘cause it’s shitty when your secrets come out and it’s scary and so I’m here for you. And I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. For this, and for all those assholes who made you play hockey when you were meant to be a space nerd.”

Of all the reactions to a sudden outburst Jax had expected, a trembling lower lip wasn’t one of them.

“Oh, god.” Panic pulsed in their chest. “Was that too much?”

“I hate that fucking video,” Regulus whispered, voice breaking. His eyes welled with tears. Jax’s tongue turned to lead in their mouth.

This couldn’t possibly be real. Not this. Not sitting in a hole-in-the-wall bookstore while Regulus took stuttering breaths around tears he didn’t seem to know how to handle. “Hey,” Jax said softly. “Oh, hey, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no,” Regulus muttered angrily, scrubbing at his cheeks with shaking hands. “Fuck—merde, one second.”

“It’s okay.”

“Non, stop it.”

We’re doing this. We’re doing this. “Reg, it’s fine. Is this—is this alright?”

Regulus froze up at the tentative touch to his shoulder. Jax waited, heart in their throat, before Regulus gave a slight, pained nod and leaned ever so slightly into them. It was incredibly heartbreaking and also deeply weird, the way Jax supposed it would feel to pet a wild tiger in a zoo.

Worst of all, it made sense. The mottled skin of Regulus’ ankles. His careful silence, only broken in the presence of a few friends. He had hardly spoken unless spoken to until January. Jax had seen skates, just once, tucked in the corner of his closet behind his laundry bag.

They had chalked it up to the Canadian thing. One of their stupider moments, looking back.

“Please don’t leave.”

Regulus paused with his sleeve pressed below his nose. “Quoi?”

“It’s…” There was a dent in the hardwood beneath the toe of their sneaker. “I mean, you’re my best friend. So I’d like it if you stayed. If you want.”

The request felt too fragile. The wound, too raw. Would Regulus be angry that they asked?

“Why would you want that?” Regulus asked after several beats of empty air between them. He sounded mystified by the very thought.

“You’re my best friend.” The corners of their eyes stung. They gave Regulus a little pulse of pressure, the shadow of a hug. “I’d miss you if you left.”

“Oh.”

“I won’t make you leave if you don’t want to.”

A tear glimmered in the light as it fell from Regulus’ cheekbone to his jaw, where he brushed it on the sleeve of his shirt. The cuffs were stretched, like he’d been gripping them in iron hands; they matched the frayed hems of his hoodies in a rather sickening way. “I want to stay.”

“Thank god.”

A rueful smile pulled at Regulus’ mouth. “You know, you might be the first person who wanted me around.”

“That’s so…” There were no words. Literally nothing could encompass the fresh-scrape sting of each new layer of tragic backstory peeling away. “Is there any part of your life story that isn’t depressing as hell?”

“Probably not,” Regulus snorted.

He was warm under Jax’s palm. The shivering had stopped. “Well, I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

“Merci.”

“Do you—”

“No.”

They nodded and mimed zipping their lips, and it made Regulus smile just a little, so it was worth it. He hadn’t pulled away from their one-handed hug yet. Jax counted that as a victory. It was sort of like washing a wound in the ocean: it stung like a bitch, but they were better for it in the end. Regulus’ wounds had been opened and reopened for nineteen years by uncaring hands. His cleanse was going to burn more than most. But even if gifts baffled him and kind words made him grimace and hugs were—whatever this was, Jax would be there. This time, he wouldn’t have to do it alone.

[redclovercasefiles]

WE'RE DUMB AND LAUNCHED EARLY 🥳

Welcome to indie game development! We're doing our best!

Due to us not fully understanding which buttons do what on the internet, our Kickstarter is NOW LIVE!

We are still updating daily, so give us a follow to learn about our really cool game, our characters, and our team. And now that you know we're really just six screaming possums stacked in a trench coat, consider backing us!

Our game is already in production, but we need your help to get us to the finish line (and maybe add some cool additional features along the way)!

So come over and check out

The Red Clover Case Files, now (accidentally) LIVE on Kickstarter!

[mirror-is-distured]

Aether is terrified of animals

Afraid?

Polyghouls [aether, dew, and rain] also mountian is there sorta

Dew and rain find a possum and aether is scared of it

100% sfw just kinda long

"dew, what is in your hands" aether asked

"Uhhh... nothing" dew said, turning his back to him.

Dew and rain had walked into the common room earlier, cooing over something he was holding and now they wouldn't let aether see.

"Thats it. Show me what you have or im taking it away" aether grumbled, rising from the couch and stomping over to the corner where dew and rain were huddled up. Rain whipped his head around and hissed, even though he knew it wouldn't make the taller ghoul back off. Without speaking, aether grabbed dews arms and shoved his hands apart

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" he screamed. Jumping back

"Possum" dew mumbled

"We found it in the garden. his name is buio and hes our son" rain added, reaching out to pet it's head

"Where the HELL did you get a possum what the fuck" aether growled

"The garden, rain just said that. Dumbass"

"Ok well put it back! That shit probably has rabies!" Aether yelled

Rain pouted at aether before turning back to fawn over the little ball of fluff.

"Nope. Nope nope nope get it OUT" aether said, reaching out to grab the possum

"Run?"

"Run."

Rain and dew took off, speeding out the door and down the hall with aether in toe, screaming about how it could have diseases or what if it bites them.

Both of them ran full speed into mountians room, rain slamming the door behind them and leaving aether outside, still going on and on about how bad if an idea this was.

"What-"

Mountian was cut off by the door smacking against the wall with a loud thud.

"THEY FOUND A FUCKING POSSUM"

"aether wants to take away our kid" rain whined, hiding dew and the baby behind him. "Hes so mean"

"Alright everyone out. Lets go get copia and see what he thinks of this"

"NO! Copia will make us put it back" rain hissed, still glaring at aether

"Good! Its a wild animal!"

"And you're a ghoul! What are you scared?" Dew teased, holding the fuzzy animal out towards aether like it was a sword.

"What?! No dont be ridiculous, its just a baby, it cant do anything... right?" Aether said, slowly backing away.

"Oooooh the big man is scared of a possum oooo~" dew mocked him, stepping closer.

It really was just a baby, couldn't be more than two weeks old. It's eyes twinkled and it had just the slightest bit of fuzz.

"I- im not scared of some dumb animal!"

Aether tried to sound like he was being genuine, but it sounded like more of a squeal

"Then prove it big man, pet. the. possum." The baby squeeked and wriggled in dews hand.

"I dont have to prove anything to you!"

"You big baby" rain giggled, reaching out to scratch under the animals chin. "Look at how cute it is! Its nothing to be afraid of"

"Im not afraid! Im very tough."

Aether said, taking another step back so that he was pressed against the wall.

"Yeah, if tough is being terrified of this" dew laughed, stepping forward to emphasize his words.

Aether yelped, looking the possum dead in the eyes. "Fine! Ill touch it if you shut up"

"Do it do it do it!" rain chanted over dews shoulder. With one trembling hand aether reached out, gently placing his hand onto the creatures head.

"Oh" he said, softly rustling it's fur. The possum purred, nuzzling itself further into his hand. "I- i guess its kind of cute.." he said.

"See? Its ok big guy" rain cooed "do you want to hold it?"

"No. Petting it is enough thanks..." aether said, drawing his hand back.

"Wait, were you actually scared?" Rain asked. Aether nodded, looking down. He almost seemed... ashamed?

"Oh honey, im sorry..." rain said, stepping forward and grabbing his face. "I didnt.. we didnt realize that"

"Yeah, im really sorry aeth" dew mumbled.

"Hey can yall lovebirds leave please, this is my room ya'know." Mountian grumbled.

"Oh shit sorry mount, we'll go" rain said, gathering up the others and shooing them out the door.

Walking back to the common room, rain grabbed aether's hand, gently interlocking their fingers.

"Im really sorry sweetheart, i didnt know.." he whispered

"Its... its fine" aether mumbled

"No its not" dew said, rounding the corner into the common room "I think theres a box in here somewhere, we can put it in there for now."

Rain grabbed a cardboard box and some blankets, trying to make a comfortable nest for the baby "there we go, put him in here" he said, holding the box out to dew, who put down the possum, who nuzzled into the soft plush almost immediately.

"There we go, its gone now big guy." Rain purred, putting the box onto the coffee table.

"Thank you.." aether mumbled, still stating at the floor.

"Come on baby, do you want to cuddle?" Dew cooed, slouching down into the couch.

Aether nodded grabbing rains hand and pulling him down onto the couch.

"Can we still keep it? I promise we wont even make you look at it if you dont want to." Rain asked, settling down into aethers lap.

"I think that would be ok.." he mumbled, resting his head on dews chest.

"Alright baby boy, just let us know if we ever do anything that makes uncomfortable" dew purred, playing with aethers hair. Aether nodded, yawning into dews shirt.

[space1cat]

The Outsiders Animal Head cannons

Ponyboy- Even though pony is in his name, he does not like ponies. He really likes dogs, and guinea pigs. Likes small puppies, favorite dog breed has to be corgis, and collies, he thinks their adorable, wants to get a dog as a pet, but cant. He just wants to have a guinea pig to just hold it in his hand, he just wants them as a pet for no reason, just thinks their funny little animal.

Darry- Favorite animal Fish. Not really a big fan of having pets due to having to already take care of 6 people, or more in the future. But would probably allow Pony, and Soda to get a small pet, like a fish, just something that is small, and easy to take care of.

Johnny- Favorite animal raccoons, cat, puppy dogs, and possums.

Animals fucking love this guy.

He has a slight fear of cats due to always thinking they might scratch him, or something like that, but they never do, he did warm up to animals as they kept showing up to the lot. He also probably screamed on the top of his lungs when a cat randomly started to climb up his leg, still scared of cats climbing him up.

Does not know how to hold any animal, but he would hold animals like their babies no matter their size. Would pet any animal no matter what, if they ever came up to him.

Came to the Curtis household once with a bunch of cat hair on him, has dumb names for all of the animals that come up to him, something like "Mary", or "Lime", probably just the first thing on top of his head to be honest.

Once he hung out with Tim, and there was an ocean of cats sounding them, and also Tim made fun of him, and his cat names, but he did end up naming a cat.

Would be a crazy cat lady when he gets older.

Raccoons, and possums, he just likes the way they look, okay. But is scared to pet them, or even touch them in the slightest, just doesn't want rabies, or to get bitten, but does give them food, he loves feeding them. Doesn't see a lot of raccoons, or possums, only sees them now or then, but he still loves them.

Sodapop- Favorite animal "All", but mostly horses (he's a horse girl), deers, and puppy dogs. A Fucking Disney princess. Would go on a date with Johnny just to end up walking around with some random ass animal in his hands at the end of the day. He also names for the cats, but mostly calls them what Johnny calls them as he cannot ever remember what he named them.

Dally- Favorite animal dogs, snakes, and possums. Loves big dogs, probably favorite bulldogs/bitbulls/shepards. Has a slight fear of snakes, but still thinks their sick as fuck. Just loves possums, has no reason why, he thinks they're just cute, and very cool.

Steve- Favorite animal bears, and frogs. Thinks that they're the coolest animals to ever exist, and very cute. Doodles them in his notebook, or random pieces of paper when he's bored. He used to draw them all the time when he was much younger

Two-bit- Favorite animal cows, just cows. Also pigs. He just likes the way they look. Probably had a book filled with pictures with farm animals, mostly pigs fill the pages but still. The reason why his favorite color is pink is because of pigs. Loves to draw them all the time, probably can fill a book with them, and probably would.

[onstoryladders]

Hi hello, can I get rundown on be my favorite? I’ll send several heart emojis as payment for your efforts. Thank you :) -💖💕💖

Thanks for the hearts, Agent Hearts 🙏🏻

OKAY SO first of all, it's good. I already liked the general idea from the trailer, because I love time shenanigans, and the show is about a guy who's got a shitty life (he has no friends, no family, detests his job, feels unsatisfied and lost) but gets a chance to set things right with time travel. He goes back in time and. Well. Fucks up a lot, but also makes friends and finds love and himself etc etc it's an emotional rollercoaster and Kawi is a bi disaster and a mess wrapped up in another mess so of course he has my heart now ☺

When I started it I expected a silly and sweet comedy, so I was surprised by how DEEP the show actually is. And most importantly by how well written it is. Like I swear, if they keep the quality up till the end this will be one of the best written Thai BL shows ever 😳

The pacing is excellent so far, there are no dumb subplots and every situation that arises is explored without dragging it for no reason. The characters are interesting and nuanced and they grow so much throughout the show! And that's what the story is all about, really: growth and change and how progress is never linear but you gotta work for it over and over and over. It's about choices and consequences, what makes a life worth living, what it means to have a good life...

Kawi and Pisaeng have crazy chemistry, they look at each other with such soft adoration [insert pic of screaming possum here] THEY'RE SO! And it's so good to have two characters who help each other be better. I love them a lot ok 😔

I don't wanna spoil too much stuff because I think you should watch it 😌 it's SOOO worth it!

[lovetique]

deadpanning, jaw almost clenching, a subtle fire growing in her gaze. shifting between being annoyed or either able to pass it off with a playful tune... mind is conflicted. another pause passes before elena speaks again, "yeah," she sweetly agrees, starting out seemingly on his side before she switches gears, "i'm glad i got warning you about possums and their diseases off my chest." tiny brunette scolds the bigger ANNOYING other, doe eyes penetrating his paler ones. he'll JUST have to go crazy now, because the possum talk is never going to die for as long as she knows he's hanging around those other girls. "so be careful on who you go randomly kissing, i won't kiss you ever again if you get rabies or scabies on your mouth." making a face as small hand FACE PALMED him and promptly pushed his and his dumb smug on his face gently away, thinking it was a good threat.

of course she'd soften when marcus expressed how he was grateful for her. it touched a part of her no one has hearing someone express such a sentiment for her. her heart barely knew how to take it without exploding. "i'm grateful for you too." she told him passionately, voice sincere, he had no idea how much which is why it was so impossibly difficult trying to tear him out of her life. "you don't know how, but you've flipped my world upside down." in the best possible way. she shouldn't be saying this, in the back of her mind– that stupid nagging logical voice was screaming how this isn't the path at keeping him away. and even still, a frown curved her lips downwards when she was reminded of that text message she'd sent him in a moment she thought she had her mind made up all formed from things going too far between them, worries of hurting marcus further, worries of rory finding out about this. exactly them right in that very moment once again, marcus, another boy in her home and how she couldn't stop sharing intimate heart to heart moments with him more than a single time she'd ever exchanged with her boyfriend.

elena was caught up being transfixed, lost far away at absorbing the answer of what he would do if her decision would be different and she told him the truth of how she really felt. it left her wanting to scream at how cruel life was making her stay put when she just received confirmation of everything she needed. fighting for her? just like him saying he was grateful for her, no one else had fought for her, her boyfriend never did in a place coming from love. just marcus .. once again. it's always marcus. finger curled under his chin and tilted his head up this time, having to do something to mask and distract the real emotions it was stirring too quickly inside her. "until one day things are different." eyes glimmered with that hope and lips kittenishly smiled at teasing him. knowing that just made her intentions sound even more confusing, maybe that'd be better than him thinking she was just wasting time with him all this time.

jaw soon hung agape as body gently pulled back, smiling more sheepishly than ever as doe eyes swelled with a schoolgirl type of shyness. "hyp-" she forgot words as she stumbled over them, "hypotheticals." parroting his words, just because he lost her with that previous sentence. he had ideas? she was besotted, furiously shy and blushing. wildfire racing across her tanned cheeks. it was untamable. oh, she definitely had to frantically think of a way to reroute somehow. she was going to die of being flushed on the spot. feeling lovestruck had her feeling symptoms of running a fever, the only thing that helped was admiring and melting further for a different reason–– at the sweet blush upon his own face, the way he leaned into her hand. the bad to the bone line making her cutely smile towards him. her pink painted thumb brushed over the corner of his lip as marcus breathed out, then elena leaned closer to nuzzle his warm cheek with her nose, letting a quiet moment pass by them to relish the peaceful moment before another soft kiss landed against his cheek. "mine too, romeo." brunette playfully smiled at the nickname, but sugary voice spoke with heavy endearment. she could definitely agree with that. then something spontaneous began to brew inside her. "let me show you my tattoo." she randomly blurted, lying purposely, wanting to catch him off guard again.

pulling back to gauge his reaction as hands still gently held his face, then slowly let go to shift around on the foot of her bed where she sat to turn her back to him and sit up on her knees. "it's here." she poked at her waistband at lower back, attempting to look over her shoulder. then stuck her thumb in the back of her pajama pants, shoved them down a little and didn't reveal any tattoo but did reveal white undies with pink hello kitty heads dotting across her butt cheek that was now on display. "kidding. april fools. it's just hello kitty." face broke out into a wild playful pearly white smile, "i told you i had hello kitty underwear." devious giggles erupted immediately after and quickly elena rolled over onto her back because her backside felt way too exposed now and actually, she couldn't believe she did that in the first place but it felt hilarious and fun as the amusement of it took over her while hands covered her eyes now.

        the admission of jealousy struggles out of her mouth in a way that seems laborious and painful. it even looks like it hurts to force it out. but, that does nothing to diminish the smug smile on marcus' face. he instantaneously feels a pep in his step, a sick rejuvenation. it’s pathetic because it’s not like he’s accomplishing anything by this, but god, it just felt good to know that she could be eaten up by the thought of him with someone else, too. especially after the night in the club. “ah, and don’t you feel better now that you got that off your chest?” the sentence is smug, but he looks at her with complete adoration. “i know that i feel better.” the roll of her eyes and grumble from her throat elicits a chuckle from him, finding it impossible to not find her annoyance endearing. “oh, wouldn’t dream of it. you know i love to tell you that you’re right.” his gaze follows her like she’s his own personal magnet, a pull he could not ignore. she unsettled the dust on his bones, set his mind alight. 'i wasn’t prepared for you either.' words hit him square in the chest because it’s said with a near musical cadence, and he feels those flutters in his stomach again. “i was unprepared, but i’m grateful. for you.” how she could make him feel held without even touching him, he would never know.

te amo. he’s smart enough to know what that means, even without the provided context. if marcus were honest, he didn’t like the sentiment coming off of her lips, especially to pose a question like this one. it felt barbed, knowing that it wasn’t the truth, and knowing she said it to someone else with no thought of him at all. “i’d like to remind you that you’re the one who said you didn’t want to see me anymore,” no, not her exact words. her exact words were burned into his brain, imprinted behind his eyelids. they still stung. “but hypothetically, if you said something like that, and i thought that you could mean it,” leans forward slight, with not much room between them to do so, “then i would fight for you.” his hand twitches, fighting every nerve impulse to touch her. this psychological warfare would kill him, if the way she looked right now didn’t do him in quicker. “if i thought you wanted me—that you loved me,” he swallowed hard, the ‘what could be’ of his words were jagged in his throat, figuratively tearing his mouth apart, “then you couldn’t keep me away.”

last syllables of her teasing deal the final blow. marcus can quite literally feel his brain detach from its stem. he moves, slightly, and feels it slosh around in his skull. yep, it’s loose. he’s buzzing and completely nonsensical, more than willing to ignore any reality that doesn't suit this current narrative. even willing to ignore their current reality, as star-crossed as it was. neither one of them was willing to admit it, but they had straddled the line of a relationship for a long time, even if it was far from conventional. they both played portions of their respective parts that made it feel real enough. it’s why she was so jealous, it’s why he could never tell her no. so, wanting her in this intrinsic way was no surprise, but marcus’ reaction to it was. he wasn’t inexperienced by any measure; any other girl in the world, and he likely would’ve had them already. but it’s not anyone else, it’s elena, and he’s standing in front of her wearing a new shade of crimson that’s yet to be inducted into the color wheel. he’s impassioned and burning and in full acknowledgment that this may be his last chance, but he just can’t do it. if it happened, he didn’t want it to be this unevenly yoked. “oh, i have some ideas of what i would do,” forces himself to meet her eyes, “but it sounds like we’re really caught up in hypotheticals tonight, so, i guess that’s just too bad.” he’s portraying confidence, purposeless flirtation, and maybe it all would’ve been believable if the blush to his skin and racing of his heart hadn’t betrayed him first.

“i like it way better down here,” he softly replies, a wide, toothy grin spreading across his features. she calls him trouble and it’s the first time he’s ever heard his name assigned to the word. marcus had worked his entire life to follow the status quo, to do exactly what he was supposed to. he had worked hard in school, joined the clubs and sports he knew he would do well in, blossomed in college, got his degree, and now was excelling and gaining respect in his field. he was a good son. a better brother. he followed the rules. never stepped a toe out of line... until her. most of the things that surrounded elena, in marcus’ world, could be clip ended by the words: ‘until her’. but when she takes his face in her hands and he feels the atmosphere shift again, he’d do anything to keep her moving toward his orbit. so he’s affirming, promising, vowing: “bad to the bone,” under his breath just as she closes the gap between them. it’s quick, but the searing feeling in his chest tears through his exterior, and he’s leaning against her right palm, eyes momentarily wincing closed. mouth forms into an “o” as he pushes a deep breath from his chest, away from her face. small exposition offers insight into how under her spell he truly is, how such a tiny kiss could nearly send him to the floor. he'd do anything for another. marcus comes back to center soon after, softly laughing as long, lithe fingers wrap around the entire width of her wrist. their proximity is unbelievably distracting when he utters, “you’ll be the death of me.”

[tropicalscream]

Im very depressed and like 2secs from a break down and i hate that when ppl I like are having good things happen to then I get upset casue ill never be able to afford those things or have them happen to me.

Even if its something dumb like getting an expensive rare in a mtg pack

As well as just always being misgendered over and over and over at work and gf is cis so she dosent get it and ex, as much as I love them, is very emotionaly distant and can't help

..like I just wanna feel pretty and loved and be able to do the fun things I wanna do w/o breaking the bank.

[dumbpossumdrawings-blog]

[penname-artist]

Can't figure out how to send an emoji

That is- that- that is many flowers, ho boy-

Despite the disbelief of my buddies, BOTH of my plants are currently still alive, those being my Lucky Bamboo and my ZZ plant

Winter is the WORST SEASON because it is FUCKING COLD and when it's FUCKING COLD my arthritis-fucked hands are FUCKING STIFF

I have a fuck ton of candles and candle waxes I still need to use. Favorite scent is still 'Enchanted forest' (God it's so amazing, I think it's some shit like blackberry patchouli but MMM)

I'm waiting on lines from a friend who has been cast as Azuro, and hopefully I'm gonna fully animate that storyboard I made of him and the possum I still have not named

Casper is sleeping like a cinnamon roll at the moment

Never leave a crystal ball uncovered in the house when you're not using it. No it's not because demons. It's because it'll start a house fire

You know the doozie that tomatoes are botanically considered fruits? Yeah, so are cucumbers. Imagine how that looks now on Veggietales. "Yes, vegetable stories, hosted by the least qualified vegetables to ever vegetable!"

The chances of me finishing a story tonight are slim to none BUT slim to none is still a chance!

I'm never gonna not be weirded out by people that replace saying the word hell or fuck with "heck". Like, no. It sounds so dumb, guys. Also it reminds me of a trauma person but that's besides the point. I accept it only in controlled amounts

SPEAKING OF controlled amounts, I'm nearing the point in Sweet Child of Mine where I have to do work and learn about - eugh - the air force. Goddamn it man, why you gotta make me. At least all I have to do is figure out how he lost his hand-

If you live in the desert part of the US, never go outside when you hear a woman screaming. Chances are it's not a woman screaming, it's a mountain lion in heat. They sound scarily similar (no really, look it up.)

The word "oceanic" can be perfectly rearranged to spell "cocaine". I learned this playing Wordscapes.

Just for you, Jackal: It is illegal in the state of Florida for men to wear strapless dresses.

final thought of the evening HAHAHA GUYS I LITERALLY HAVE NO CANINES ANYMORE THEY GOT REMOVED

This has been a field of flower thoughts with Pen

[moved10-17-22]

My cat, Dragon, is dumb as a brick. I have NO CLUE how he survived living as an outdoor cat next to a busy road for the first year of his life.

First of all, any animal he meets, he wants to be friends with. Human, cat, raccoon, Possum, armadillo, and DOGS. He would probably try to befriend a coyote if given the chance. He will approach and try and snuggle. He will only take a hint once smacked. Barking dogs do not deter him. And then he just sits and scoots closer slowly as he screams and purrs.

Second, he was born with bad hind legs. They move together instead of separate, so he drags one or the other in an attempt to walk normally. He is slow.

Third, he isn't afraid of cars. He will sit next to the road as a car whizzes by and won't even flinch. He got hit once as a kitten. Somehow survived. Still isn't afraid of cars.

Despite him being an idiot, this cat is an ECSAPE ARTIST! I sealed up the broken window and the vents and he's STILL getting out! I have no clue HOW! I'm about ready to invest in a small camera and mount it on him.

[nastymeowmeow]

I haven't showered since Saturday. I've been listening to a lot of my favorite punk bands. I ate mushroom pizza last night for dinner and it was glorious.

I'm an angry little possum right now. I'm about ready to just give up on everything that keeps me stable. I just want to destroy something. I'm planning to go to the dessert to give Shady Lady some attention. She's my adorable metal baseball bat.

I probably won't take any guns with me. My friends are more than willing to let me borrow but for my own sake, probably not a great idea to drop Ruby off and go to the dessert alone with a sexy temptress such as Little Miss Glock 19.

I'm just gonna smash some glass and ceramics and listen to some loud metal music and maybe cry. I don't know. I don't usually cry when I'm angry and filled with testosterone and adrenaline, but a lot of things are happening to me that have never happened before. So who knows? Maybe I'll cry? Maybe I'll scream? Maybe I'll get an asthma attack?

She used to give me asthma attacks just by being around me. Every cell in my body went ballistic with excitement every time I was with her. My blood would rush to my face and my ears would be on fire just from kissing her.

"Kill me romantically

Fill my soul with vomit

Then ask me for a piece of gum.

Bitter and dumb

You're my sugarplum

You're awful, I love you!"

It's Tuesday and I'm already done and ready for the weekend. Funny how fighting with yourself can be so exhausting.

Next post I'm going to talk about the 5 remaining brain cells who run this business called Sandy.

[mulletcal]

too hot to handle - calum hood blurb.

a/n: this idea is based purely on his hands and the fact that i was watching too hot to handle when i started this. word count: 1.9k warnings: pure smut, consensual unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), light dom!cal behaviour, and choking *****

Your morning had been rather uneventful -  Calum and you had continued your binge of Too Hot to Handle, and you both were chuckling at these adults who had a hard time keeping it in their pants, saying how you both couldn’t relate.

That was, until their band’s Twitter account posted pictures from a magazine they were featured in; and all your teasing of the people who struggled with chastity went out the window.  Calum was oblivious of the thoughts going through your head, his fingers absentmindedly running through your hair as the show played in the background.  Your eyes were trained on his hands though, well the one you could see anyways, mind reeling.

Calum happened to glance down at you, his brows furrowing for a moment, “Everything alright, love?” He asked, his fingers in your hair pausing their movements. 

“Mm, just thinking,” you said softly, lacing your fingers with his free hand.

“Bout what, angel?”

“May or may not be thinking about your hands,” humming softly, you brought your joined hands to your lips, individually kissing each of his fingers before opening up his hand so you could kiss his palm.

Beginning to catch on, Calum encouraged you to sit up so you were sitting next to each other.

“What about my hands?” Cocking his head to the side, a playful grin tugged at his lips while he brushed your hair over your shoulder.  His opposite hand went to rest on your knee, trailing small circles with his.

Your grin mirrored his, your legs parting slightly in hopes of encouraging his hand to travel up further, “Just how talented you are - you can do so many things with those fingers of yours.”

Taking the hint, he slowly dragged his fingertips up your thigh, goosebumps forming in their wake causing you to shiver slightly.  Calum leaned forward, brushing his lips along your jaw, tongue teasing at the skin.

“Might have to get you to list those things for me, doll, d’know what you mean…” His tone was teasing, but his fingers pressed against your clit through the fabric of your underwear, the friction causing you to arch your hips into his touch.  “Go on, m’waiting.”

 Letting out a shuddering breath, your eyes made their way over to his that were alight with mischief, “Well… For starters, when you’re playing your bass.  You’re so talented and such a skilled bassist,” You let out a gasp as he applied more pressure, watching as he rolled his lower lip between his teeth.  “Baby please,” you whined, gripping onto his forearm.

“Please what, love? You wanted this… So desperate for me you could get off just like this couldn’t you? While I’m hardly doing anything,” His voice was just above a whisper, leaning in to press his lips against yours while you whimpered against his mouth. 

You could have screamed when he pulled his hand away, but it died in your throat when he slid off of the couch to kneel in front of you, “I was about to curse you - I was getting so close from the friction alone.”

“Oh trust me, I know, but I wanted to taste you,” Calum worked your underwear down your legs, tossing them beside him somewhere.  You weren’t concerned much with where they landed, but rather his breath ghosting over your heat. Expecting him to simply dive in, you shifted your hips slightly to give him better access - but you were surprised when he lifted his fingers to your lips, waiting expectantly for you to take them into your mouth.

You of course complied, making it quite a spectacle as you sucked his fingers into your mouth, twirling your tongue around them which only earned a groan from Calum.  “What is it that guy called them - naughty little possums? That’s what you are right now,” He teased, pressing kisses to the inside of your thighs, pulling his fingers away.

“Don’t forget also: naughty little quesadillas,” You said with a laugh, tugging at his blonde locks.

“Oh right,” He looked up at you, eyes wide, “That’s you for sure- because you always look good enough to eat.”

Rolling your eyes, you tugged on his hair once again so he could get the hint - to which he responded with a smirk before teasing his now slick fingers against your entrance, you sucking in a breath in anticipation. 

“So needy, baby.  So wet, too - who’s this all for, hm?” Calum teased, his mouth achingly close.

“You Cal, always for you,” you murmured, glancing down at him with a hooded stare.  He had such an effect over you; one minute you were laughing about a dumb reality show, but the next you were writhing while awaiting for him to touch you - but he always made it fun.  You weren’t sure if the two of you had ever been strictly serious during sex, and if anything it made you love him that much more.

At your words, he finally leaned forward to circle his tongue around your small bundle of nerves, two fingers sliding into your entrance as he did so.  Your fingers tightened in his hair, moaning softly at the movements.  It never got old, the sight of this beautiful man between your legs - even more so because your past relationships had never been an equal give and receive, rather just give.  Something about feeling so wanted turned you on even more, and you knew after his previous actions you knew you wouldn’t last long, but you also knew this wouldn’t end here.

“Fuck Cal,” You groaned, laying your head back against the couch, legs tightening against his shoulders.  Calum hooked his fingers inside of you, causing you to arch into his touch, grinding your heat against his awaiting tongue.  He moaned against you, sending electricity coursing through your veins at the new sensation. 

A borderline pornographic sucking sound came from Calum, driving your senses into overdrive.  You were close, so close, and he must have been able to feel it because he seemed to suck harder, and pump his fingers faster.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck--” You gasped, reaching your peak all at once, Calum working his fingers into you even through it all.  Slowly as you came down, he lapped up the mess you had made, pressing kisses to your thighs before he came back up to sit on the couch beside you.

“You good baby?” Calum asked with a chuckle, pressing kisses along your jaw.  You merely hummed in response, turning your head so you could kiss him, brushing your tongue against his lips.

It took you a beat, but once you caught your breath you sat forward, going to slide onto your knees on the floor before Calum stopped you, “Wanna feel you, think you can ride me?”

Nodding eagerly, you allowed him to shimmy his shorts down his legs, only assisting him when they got to his feet before you straddled his lap, grinning down at him.  A look of realization crossed your face though when you had realized you had used the last condom the other day.

“Shit, we don’t have protection,” You frowned, brushing your nose against his.  “Sorry bub, you’ll have to settle for my mouth.”

“What if we… don’t use one?” Calum suggested, nerves clouding his gaze.

“Are you sure baby? I’m okay with it, but we just hadn’t talked about it… Or the implications--”

“I’m all in if you are, love,” His lips pecked yours, and you responded with a grin, turning your attention then to your hips and rolling them against his.  Calum hissed, gripping your hips and resisting the urge to take control entirely.

You reached between the two of you, taking hold of his length to line it up at your entrance, eyes meeting his one last time for his consent.  When he nodded, a small smile on his lips, you sank down slowly.  The familiar stretch made you moan, lowering yourself until Calum was fully bottomed out.  You both took a moment, sharing small kisses, hands exploring over still clothed territories. 

When you felt adjusted, you began to rock your hips against his, drawing a soft moan from his lips. He couldn’t keep his hands to one place, they roamed from your ass, to your hips, up your back, and into your hair.

The room had grown silent now, except for the sounds of your blended moans, the show had long since switched to the ‘Are you still watching?’ page not that either of you cared at that moment.

Calum could only hold off for so long before he began raising his hips to meet yours, the pace gaining speed as soon as he shifted to do so.  You let out a whimper when he hit the right spot, angling your hips so he could drag across that spot on repeat. His calloused fingers held onto your thighs, grip so tight it would likely leave bruises in the morning; not that you cared much anyways about his marks.

Calum bit his lip, breathing laboured as he looked up at you, “Wanna try something princess, but if you don’t like where it’s headed you use your words okay?”

You nodded, curious to where this was headed.  It didn’t take long for you to find out, Calum’s hand sliding up your body, fingers coming to wrap around your throat while holding no pressure.  “Figured since you liked my hands so much, you might like this.”

“Yes,” You gasped, hands going up to grasp at his forearm to help balance yourself, his opposite hand still steadying you as your hips moved together.

Calum applied the lightest bit of pressure, just enough to send your head spinning, moans increasing in frequency.  Smirking, he leaned in to your ear to whisper, “My baby likes that, hm? Always knew deep down you were a lil wild.  Gonna cum for me, princess? Show me how much you like my hand on your neck?”

You slumped forward slightly, trying to get more friction of your hips against his, wanting to feel that spot inside you that would ultimately send you reeling, “Cal, shit.” Hands leaving his forearm, you grasped at anything you could reach to help give yourself momentum to fall over the edge.

Calum’s fingers left your throat, going back to gripping your hips so he could snap his hips into yours with all the force he could.  A gasp fell from your lips, unable to move anymore while Calum took control.  Burying your face in your neck, you felt tears prick your eyes from all the overwhelming sensations, his name falling from your lips over and over as you reached your high.  He continued to fuck you through it, whispering praises in your ear before ultimately reaching his peak as well.  His warmth filled you, overtaking all your senses as you felt wave after wave of affection crash over you for the man underneath you.

The two of you sat in the silence, both of you breathing heavily in a vague attempt to catch your breath.  Calum tapped your thigh gently, signaling you to move from him.  You whimpered at the loss of him though, and he pecked your lips before he ran to get a warm washcloth to help you clean up.

“I think we’d go broke if we were on that show honestly, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of you.” Calum wiggled his hands at you in a teasing manner at the word ‘hands’, causing you to smack his arm in response.

“D’know baby, Kelz was lookin’ pretty damn good,” You giggled, and it was met with a pout on his plump lips that you couldn’t resist kissing. 

tag list:  @haikucal @talkfastromance4 @softbabiestan @boyfriend-cal @calum-uncrowned @wildflowerirwin @irwindoll @gosh-im-short @atlcalm @thesubtweeter @heavenisapeach @ridingcthood @loveroflrh​ @wokeupinjapanisabop @mantlereid​ @inlovehoodx​ @irwinkitten @sexgodashton

[kneworder]

do You have possum pennycrumb hc's AHSHSHDH

DKLFJS OKAY HERES AN IDEA

so it’s like. impossible to scare possum pennycrumb. He’s the one who's threatening, he doesn't get threatened. BUT one time Five is out and Luther gets roped into watching him. Luther takes his job very seriously bc he doesn’t want to be the one to tell Five he lost his little monster (derogatory), so he’s trying to do his own thing while keeping an eye on pennycrumb when the delinquent just LAUNCHES at him. Luther panics and smacks him out of the air on reflex and pennycrumb lands hard and stops moving.

Luther makes Diego check to see if the overgrown rat is okay because he does Not want to get attacked again, and Diego verifies that the evil is finally defeated and pennycrumb is in fact dead. There is a brief moment of relief. No more safeguarding food from grubby possum hands. No more fearing for their lives every time they turn a corner. No more unnerving stares every time Five isn't paying attention, and oh shit what do we tell Five.

so dumb and dumber panic and call the rest of the sibs because this is Bad. Luther is inconsolable, partly because he feels bad but also partly because he thinks five is Going To Kill Him.

Allison sets up a lovely floral arrangement for pennycrumb's funeral. It does not make his scary little corpse look any less scary. They put him in a freezer in the lower level because no one wants to look at him anymore. Vanya tries to come up with violin music suitable for a possum tribute. Klaus desperately tries to conjure pennycrumb in a corner, shouting increasingly specific taunts that normally would have him fighting for his life had pennycrumb not already lost his.

Suddenly, they hear it -- the front door.

Everyone freezes, at a complete loss for what to do, until Allison, always a woman of action, hangs up on a very confused funeral director and ushers all her siblings to the entrance hall.

Five is instantly on alert when his whole family approaches him like they just found out about another apocalypse. After a little bit of beating around the bush, Five zeroes in on the weakest link and demands that Luther explain what's going on. It takes very little prompting for Luther to tell the whole story in a rush of guilt-ridden panic.

Five goes worryingly quiet. The Hargreeves hold their breaths, not daring to break the silence, until Five asks where they're keeping pennycrumb. The second he gets an answer, Five is gone in a flash of blue.

The siblings brace themselves to hear sobbing or screaming or doors slamming, because even if Five is usually mr compartmentalization, they all know how much pennycrumb means to him.

They do Not expect five to jump right back in and tell them the only thing he found in the freezer was ice and a half wilted bouquet.

you know that scene in Alien where everyone creeps around the ship scared out of their minds carrying various weapons while they look for the monster? That’s the Hargreeves searching for Pennycrumb. Luther is wearing welding gloves. Allison has a lamp. Klaus gets on top of a table and conjures a very, very tired Ben to search the mansion for him. Vanya explains that she has lessons to get to and what do you mean she said she took the day off?

Diego is convinced pennycrumb has come back as a zombie and won’t listen to anyone who tries to explain the concept of playing possum. he is heavily armed.

Five, meanwhile, scares the hell out of everyone by being extremely nonchalant about the whole thing and just casually calling for his boy.

There are multiple close calls. Typical old house noises become indistinguishable from evil little claws skittering across surfaces. pennycrumb blends far too well with the taxidermied animals Reginald decorated the house with, and more than once a sibling has to do a double take. diego is attacked thrice but pennycrumb escapes every time.

he is finally found when he tries to come after Klaus, who makes such a racket screaming and falling off the table that everyone rushes to corral pennycrumb.

Luther is not put in charge of pennycrumb ever again.

[mythgirlimagines]

ANON-CORRECT QUOTES

---------------------------------

(After Purple/Fusion are taught modern slang by Fusion II...)

Purple/Fusion: (dressed in tacky hip-hop clothes)

Fusion: (gesturing to Purple, to Fusion II) Yo, my kiddo! Me and my homefry here would like to be in your possum!

Fusion II: (cringing in confusion) What's he trying to say?

Source: Arthur

---------------------------------

(Context: Eldritch is venting to Iris about fellow Sunshine Squad member Dream, and Iris claimed that he liked Dream...)

Eldritch: (flustered) Wh-What?! I-I-Is this s-supposed to be some s-sort of j-joke?! W-Why would I be i-int-interested in some d-dumb Anon?! L-Like I've said, Anons are n-nothing more than government p-pawns! Th-They're just an-animals, no b-better than m-mindless sheep! You think I-I'd be interested in a mindless sh-sheep?! HELL NO! That's crazy! A-And anyway, Dream isn't even that s-special as far as A-Anons g-go. A t-total doofus! So stupidly h-h-happy all the time! Why w-would I care about-

Iris: (giggling slightly) Eldritch, listen to yourself! You're so desperate to deny this! You're almost in a panic over it. It's as if you're screaming, "Hey, Look! I'm totally crazy about Dream, Iris!".

Eldritch: (frantically waving his hands around) What? WHAT?! I-I-I'm not d-desperate! A-And I'm n-n-not in a p-panic n-neither! I'm t-totally calm! Everything's t-t-totally n-normal in Ritchieland!

Iris: (smiling) I have to say, it seems that Dream likes you too!

Eldritch: (actually trusting Iris for once) R-Really?! Are you s-serious?! You think D-Dream l-l-likes me? 

Eldritch: (confidently) Well, n-now that you mention it, Dream does strike conversations with me more than other Anons, right? M-Maybe I'm giving off the aura of someone that's okay to confide in...

Iris: (under their breath, snidely) They say the dumber someone is, the easier they are to talk to...

Eldritch: (suspiciously) W-What?! D-Did you say s-something just now, Iris?! 

Iris: (innocently sticking her tongue out) Me? No!

Source: Obey Me! Shall We Date?

---------------------------------

Myth: (comes out of Scar's infirmary, covered in bandages)

Wyre: (protective instincts flaring up) Alright, who the f**k do I have to beat up?!

Myth: (grumbling) It was Janon...AGAIN! All I did was give him a little pat on head, one time when he wasn't looking. And now, he pounces to attack every time he lays his eyes on me. 

Myth: (shrugging) Haha, what can I say? Bunnies are adorable! What am I supposed to do? NOT pat one on the head? Oh yeah, and that's the other thing: he beats you up, if you call him a bunny, too! What's up with that? I mean, a bunny is what he's going for, right?

Myth: (exasperated) Sheesh! Talk about getting your fur all ruffled over nothing!

Janon: (glaring at Myth from a distance)

Source: Genshin Impact

Video Source: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf-I-aDfMsA)

---------------------------------

(How Sparkle's play auditions tend to go...)

Scar: (going up to Sparkle's audition desk) Greetings, Upper Demon of the Mind Traps! I'd like to try out for the part...of the Grim Reaper...who ushers screaming souls into the next life!

Sparkle: (checking the audition list) THERE IS NO GRIM REAPER IN THIS PLAY!

Scar: (confidently) I could improvise!

Source: Dave the Barbarian

---------------------------------

(During one of the Twins' cursed schemes...)

Wet Sock: (whispering to Egg) You don't think we'll get into trouble for this, do you?

Egg: (confidently) No! Not a chance!

(30 MINUTES LATER...)

Nerd: (harshly scolding the twins) 

Source: The Prince of Egypt

---------------------------------

(In an AU where Dream starts a volleyball boot camp for Jr. Ultimates...)

Dream: (happily, to a crowd of Jr. Ultimates) ALRIGHT, Jr. Ultimates! If you were an office supply, what would you be and why?

Curious: (with a dissonant smile on their face) I will be paper, because people use me, and then throw me away.

The Other Jr. Ultimates: (very disturbed)

Dream: (with a strained smile) ...Descriptive...

Source: Vine

Video Source: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9GISbFl9Nc)

---------------------------------

(In an AU where the Fancy One/Mastermind fails to sucker in an Assistant/Traitor...)

The Fancy One: (with a contract in hand) Dear Anon, I would like to formally invite you to help organize the Anon Killing Game with me!~★

Assistant/Traitor: (confidently) I'm in.

The Fancy One: (taken aback) Really?~★

Assistant/Traitor: (rudely turning away) F*** no. You guys are ***holes.

Source: The Most Popular Girls at School

---------------------------------

I hope you like this week's quotes! I'd love to hear your opinions on them!

-Fusion Anon

[sabraeal]

Minimum Distance

If there’s one thing Obi’s sure of, it’s that this is Hisame’s fault.

Not the lockdown-- though honestly, he wouldn’t put it past the bastard if it meant having things go his way-- but everything else. This fucking party. That stupid fake dating plan. The kiss.

He scrapes a hand down his face. This whole ‘day trip’ is turning right into a disaster weekend and god, if he had the ability to fly right back to DC right now, he would. But instead he’s trapped here, in the middle of the New Mexican desert, in the Smart House of some elusive and shady billionaire. He must have kicked a puppy in the last life-- no, bags of puppies-- if the universe is exerting this level of karmic violence on him.

His back hits the door. He needs like, five minutes. Just until he learns how to breathe again.

Which he’s not going to do, if he keeps replaying that kiss in his head. You know, the only thing he’s been doing for the past twenty-four hours, including breakfast, where Rougis just stared at him with that grin on his face. Like he knew. Like he could somehow see every last mortifying second of his dreams last night, and thought it was funny.

Doc’s informed him this whole pandemic thing is serious, that there’s stuff with r’s and knots and things being close to two. He is tangentially aware aware of how a logarithmic scale works, and he’d never wish anyone actually sick, but-- if Hisame could just shuffle off this mortal coil in the next few hours, that would really pluck one of the bigger monkeys off his back.

He takes a deep breath-- more like a deep hiccup, honestly-- and lets the tension fall out of him. It’s fine. He doesn’t have time to stand here and freestyle mental scream. He has to work on getting them back home. Which means getting this Rugilia guy to sign off on funding.

And then he can hop on a plane, pandemic permitting, and get instantly fired for kissing his boss’s girlfriend. Bingo bango bongo. Job well done.

God, it would be just great if he could resist fucking up just one good thing in his life. At least Ryuu will still write.

Right, no time for catastrophizing. They’ve got a billionaire to woo. Or something.

He swings open his door-- no, it’s her door, but also his, because switching rooms seemed prudent when the guy holding all the keys spent a night trying to get Doc alone in a garden-- only to run into Doc. Literally. Right there. In her borrowed pajamas.

Whatever intel Rugilia had on her was clearly not as good as his, since Doc is really a matching pajama sets kind of girl, and not--

Well, after living with her for three years, Obi can firmly say he’s never seen a cotton teddy. At least, not on Doc herself.

He could get used to it, though.

“Oh, Obi!” She blinks, taking a step back. Adjusts her glasses, too. Tugs at a hem that is not going to get any lower, no matter how much she tries. “I was just coming to see you.”

“Ah.” He scrubs at the back of his head; it gives him as good an excuse as any for looking anywhere else. If he gives her more than a glance he’ll start counting freckles, and well-- they have separate rooms for a reason “Me, too. I was thinking--”

“The room thing isn’t going to work.”

He blinks. Blinks again.

“I mean...” Her cheeks bloom to a pale pink, the start of what’s sure to be a painful blush. “We should be sharing a room.”

He hopes there’s an actual, medical doctor in this group of useless socialites, because he’s about to have a cardiac event, and Doc’s doesn’t have the right alphabet soup to handle that kind of thing. “UH.”

“No, no!” She waves her hands, and god, they’re so close her fingertips practically brush his chest. Which wouldn’t be a problem if she didn’t follow up with, “I just mean, we should be sleeping together.”

Oh, it’s too late for medical intervention now; he’s already dead. “Ah, Doc--?”

“I just mean,” she yelps, fingers fluttering nervously between them, making it real hard to not look down and get some solid ideas about her cup size. “I know we switched rooms. For safety.”

“For safety,” he echoes dumbly, because that’s the level of thought he’s at right now. Or at least, the level he can safely be at without risking a real containment breach on all the things he’s not allowed to think when Doc’s around, wearing almost nothing, and telling him they need to put their bodies in close, horizontal proximity.

“But if we’re trying to be a couple, I don’t think...” Her tongue pokes out, pink and spongy, and draws his eyes right to the lips he definitely shouldn’t be staring at. “Well, I just don’t think that we-- that you-- that it looks--?”

“You mean,” he says, so slow, like she’s a rogue possum and he’s animal control, “I don’t look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t be taking advantage of a king bed and silk sheets?”

“Ah...” She’s the one that blinks now, eyelashes fluttering against red cheeks that are begging him to take their temperature. “Not-- not the way you were, um...”

She lets the implication hand in the air, and god, fuck Rougis for putting that fucking idea in his head, for even allowing the memory of her against him like that, sighing into his mouth--

“I thought we were supposed to be keeping it on the down low,” he says, leaning in with a grin. “Since you’re slumming it with the help.”

Her mouth goes from sexy to scowl. “I’m not slumming it with anyone.”

“Right, right, I know that,” he assure her, “but Rugilia--”

“No.” It’s loud enough that he flinches, because fuck, he can pretend to be normal all the live long day, but the second a voice raises-- “Oh, Obi, sorry, I didn’t--” her palm wraps warmly around his arm, thumb rubbing over the cotton of his sleeve-- “I just meant that I’m not-- it’s not-- being with you isn’t slumming.”

It’s all a little much having her so close, having so little of her be clothed, and smell so good as she does. She must have taken a shower or something before rushing out here to make herself his own personal problem.  In any case, all he manages is a half-dubious, half-distracted hum.

“Besides,” she adds, one of her eyebrows rounding in a teasing arch, “as far as I was aware, doctors and lawyers were considered the same pay grade.”

Obi coughs on his own spit. “I’m not a lawyer.”

“And I’m not that kind of doctor.” Her arms fold neatly-- distractingly-- beneath her breasts, A cups giving off a distinctly B-cup vibe. “But Eisetsu doesn’t know that. I told him I was here about a vaccine, and you said you were here to keep me out of trouble.”

And with a man used to dealing with pharma rather than the academic side, the legal representation would be implied. Obi scrubs a hand through his hair, staring down at his silk pajama set, and tries to discern what about him says ‘went to a four-year college,’ let alone law school. “Me?”

“Well...” She really shouldn’t look at him like that, all coy from the corner of those big eyes, if he can’t give her a repeat performance of last night. “It only makes sense. I mean, who else does Zen hang out with.”

Now, that-- that gives him pause. Mitsuhide, lawyer. Kiki, lawyer. Doc, doctor, but Not That Kind. Him--

“Fuck me,” he breathes, “that actually makes sense.”

“It does,” she agrees primly. “I’d thought the keeping it quiet angle was more along the line of, uh, conflict of interest, rather than, um, other reasons.”

Other reasons, like that half of his other aliases were on No Fly lists. “Conflict of Interest?”

“Well, um...” Her flush is brighter this time, spilling over her cheeks and down her neck, flirting with the lace edging her neckline, and he certainly is feeling both conflicted and interested about how far it might go-- “There’s probably fraternization rules.”

He blinks. “Fraternization?”

“You know,” she says slowly, taking a step back, right into the doorway of her-- his room. “That employees can’t date or, um--” her skin’s barely a shade lighter than her hair-- “do other stuff. At least without clearing with HR first.”

It shouldn’t be so cute that a woman with a doctorate can’t say sex, but this is it, this is his type now.

“Other stuff, hm?” He steps close, their toes sharing the jamb. So close that when she sucks in a breath, shallow and quick, her chest brushes against his. “If we’re supposed to be fraternizing in this room tonight, a few things are going to have to change.”

She shuffles back, an arm’s length--one of hers, at least-- toes curling on the carpet. “O-oh?”

The thing is: Obi can’t resist a good joke. It’s why he works so good with the boss-man; no matter how transparent, how dumb it is, all his teasing crawls right under that lily-white thin skin of his and sends Wisteria climbing right up the wall. It’s satisfying.

So when he closes the gap between them with a single long stride, he expects Doc to just-- tell him to quit it. Yelp maybe. Slap his chest. Scold him, if he’s lucky.

But instead she just peers up at him, chest quivering, and doesn’t get the joke. By the way she’s looking at him, she--

Ah, well, it doesn’t look like she minds overly much either. Which is going to make this Not Funny real quick in a southerly direction.

Strange, he doesn’t feel much like laughing either.

“The bed.” His hips guide her back a step, then two. “For one.”

She really needs to stop him, to put her foot down, to really get it through to the parts of him below the belt that she’s not interested in bringing some realism to this little show they’re putting on.

Instead, she lets him herd her four more steps back, body following every slow, rolling suggestion of his. “Bed?”

“Yeah.” Her knees hit the edge of the mattress-- well, considering how tall these beds are, her waist. She wobbles, hands bracing on his chest. “We need to get this bed messy.”

Her breath sighs into the air between them, eyes so round, so dark, and--

She realizes what he’s about to do five seconds too late. “Obi, n--!”

Feathers fly everywhere. Damn, this Rugilia guy really did spare no expense.

There’s a long, quiet moment, Shirayuki staring up at him with confusion and betrayal warring in her eyes, and she-- she laughs. It’s all the warning he gets before he’s blind-sided, pillow knocking him to his knees, and god, she’s going to regret starting a fight with--

Tap tap. Tap tap.

They both freeze, staring at one another. That was on the door. Her door. No, his door.

“It’s Eisetsu,” comes the soft voice through it. “Can we talk?”