#dumb drabble

[stainedgold]

Virgin...?

Nico : Since Klaus is ace, does that mean they're a virgin?

Kei : No.

Klaus: ...

Nico : Now how do you know that??

Klaus : We did it once. He was curious because my first time trying sex was with a woman in my teens. So he was curious if the reason I'm ace is because I don't like women, so we did it. I don't like men either.

Nico : *silently dying on the inside* oh ok

[ahfrickenfrick]

everyone who knows dick personally knows he is very smart, analytical, and geeky

however the news outlets have been spouting off ‘richie wayne’ ever since dick was taken in as bruce’s ward, and tend to write him as the ‘dumb hot’ stereotype

one night talk show gets dick onto it, under the premise that the money from that show would be going to charity, they put him up against random college students about topics they are majoring in

everyone expects dick to flirt or joke his way through the questions, so when he starts buzzing in first and answering correctly, they eventually question him

and with a shrug he says, “grew up traveling around the world, was vice president to the mathletes club that took nationals in high school at 14, and was actually in training to take up either a head aspect or a tech aspect of wayne enterprises; had to do classes and work for that, my best friend and i played video games and coded our own, also social media is easy to keep up with with my siblings and such” he finishes with a dismissive wave and smile, quickly running through the subjects that he was quizzed on

it quickly goes viral, and dick left that studio with a lighter chest and a bright smile

[nikkento-writes]

Being married for years now, it’s standard practice to subject Nanami to whatever pop hit of the week you’re currently obsessed with. And by obsessed, you mean repeating it over and over and over again until he finds himself humming the chorus on the train ride to work, even though he’s alone and the song isn’t even playing.

The two of you are driving back home after spending the weekend at your parent’s house. You’re singing the lyrics out loud, staring out the window with a cheerful smile on your face. He holds your hand on the center console, fingers interlocked, while he steers the wheel with his other. After memorizing these godforsaken lyrics beyond his own will, he finally asks, “What is this song even about?”

You turn to face him, lowering the volume, giving him a lousy answer. “It’s about bed chem!” He glances over at you, looking for you to elaborate, which you don’t. All you do is repeat, “Bed chem, Kento. Bed chem!”

He chuckles, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at whatever ridiculous slang the new generation is using nowadays. “Bed chem?”

You clear your throat, preparing yourself to give him the definition like some sort of spelling bee judge. “Bed chem. Having really good chemistry in the bedroom. Being sexually compatible. Matching each other’s freak. Bed chem.”

Nanami doesn’t even want to ask you to elaborate on the last example. “Is this what the youths are calling it nowadays?”

You giggle, squeezing his hand gently. “I guess so.”

He pulls into the driveway, foot on the brake as he reaches for the garage door opener, pressing it. “So what about us?”

You eye him suspiciously as he enters slowly. “What do you mean?”

He turns the car off, closing the garage door behind you. “Do we have bed chem?”

“I don’t think we’d be together this long if we didn’t,” you laugh, gazing into his eyes.

“Hm, I don’t know,” he hums, leaning closer, lips grazing your ear. “Do I pick you up? Pull them down?” His hand slides underneath your skirt, fingers teasing your clothed pussy.

“Kento,” you breathe out, spreading yourself wider in the seat, loving the way he rubs you through your panties.

“Do I talk so sweet when I’m doing bad things?” He hooks the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down your thighs, pressing a finger directly to your throbbing clit. “Is that bed chem?”

You’re too entranced by his seduction to tell him how impressed you are that he knows the lyrics. Nodding, you whimper, “Yes,” taking his fingers until you come with his name pouring out of your mouth in breathy moans.

It doesn’t take you long to reiterate to Nanami that the two of you do in fact have “bed chem”; you ride him in the driver’s seat, making him spill his creampie inside you with his tongue stuck down your throat, further proving your point. Though, a simple reminder doesn’t hurt one bit.

[allurilove]

Dumb Yandere

“What does he do all day on his flip phone?”

Dumb yandere was excited that he finally figured out how to send a text on his new phone. He managed to type out a ‘hello’ with a heart emoji next to it. He excitedly turned to show you, the screen about to be shoved into your face, all until he saw that you were fast asleep next to him. He must’ve forgotten how fast time flies by, and it was around four a.m. Instead of going to sleep, he decided to blow up your phone with sweet messages that you could read when you eventually wake up. He then happily put his phone down onto the bedside table, giving you a kiss on the forehead, and he settled down into the sheets.

Dumb yandere loves greek mythology. It was sort of a hobby of his to learn everything he could about it. He would even call to tell you about the new piece of information he learned about his favorite greek goddess. After you forced him to hang up, since you were in the middle of your work, he went back to watching his documentaries.

Dumb yandere takes pictures of you all the time. As your husband, it was his duty to capture all of the cute moments you had. He had a picture of you mid sneezing, yawning, and giving him a grumpy look after he wouldn’t leave you alone in the mornings. “Aww c’mon… one more?” you would hear him say over and over again. If you were sleeping, your husband would have a little photoshoot. He didn’t mind if you were snoring or drooling— he still smiled for the picture while holding a peace sign up. If you weren’t the subject, he liked to take photos of things that reminded him of you. Sometimes you would take a little peek into his phone, because you were just curious to see what a man like him does on his free time. His camera roll never made sense to you, but it meant everything to him.

Dumb yandere doesn’t know how to download games. He doesn’t know how to do much, so this wasn’t a surprise to you. He only had Tetris and Snake on his phone. He would really enjoy playing games such as Candy Crush, or maybe Plants vs. Zombies.

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

Sorry, but I just had a thought and I’m exhausted and don’t know if I’m going to write anymore tonight.

Just Steve holding a slight grudge against Nancy after she pretty much calls his love bullshit in the bathroom. He feels lead on, he’s slightly bitter but he knows how to be discreetly passive if he needs to be. But thing is he doesn’t have the energy in him to be passive. If this had been before the monsters, and someone who he thought was the love of his life did what Nancy did and proceeded to end up dating the guy who she said not to worry about within days after getting into a fight, he would have probably done something stupid. Probably would have ruined her locker with mean words or something like that.

He wasn’t sure what he would do, he was exhausted and couldn’t think of what used to come easy to him. Or maybe he’s grown to realize how immature that was, how it didn’t even seem all that fun to do to someone. Just thinking back to spray painting slut on the theater makes his gut twist uncomfortably. Once, he used to be the one to climb up there and spray something even worst. Now the thought made him want to throw up.

And maybe the grudge he is holding against Nancy isn’t really a grudge. Maybe he has matured to realized that the grudge he held was within himself for how fast he had fallen. For how stupid he was for thinking the girl would ever end up with him. He should have seen the signs. How she defended Jonathan even after he took non consensual photos of him and her about to have sex. Which he still felt disgusted by, his skin still crawled uncomfortably around the little creep whenever he was close by.

Though when the time comes, he realizes he was holding a grudge against Nancy. When he falls harder for someone new he realizes within minutes that something was different about this one. Instead of smacking him in the shoulder and scolding him for staring to long, Eddie would pull his hair in front of his face with bright eyes. Would do something dramatic to snap Steve out of the trance he was in. Like lick his face instead of kissing him.

That was the other thing Steve discovered. In the moments where it was just the two of them, it seemed like every other minute time would stop and Eddie would be in the same bubble as him. Lost in the same spell that Steve had tumbled into, needing to kiss the other just as much as they needed oxygen to breathe.

Nancy rarely had those moments with Steve, and they had stopped right around the time she started hanging out with Jonathan.

And Steve does hold a grudge, for how she stayed with him longer than what she had to.

Eddie made him feel in love and loved. Whenever Steve watched the other man he could barely keep his hands to himself and the best part was Eddie didn’t care. Steve could bite off Eddie’s remaining nipple and the man would still let Steve do whatever he wanted to him. Nancy never trusted Steve and never earned Steve’s trust the way Eddie did within one week of knowing each other.

Eddie was the moon and Nancy had been the sun for Steve. The sun burnt his skin and left him blistered while the moon wrapped his arms around him and rocked him to sleep every night. While Steve worried about when the sun would explode, he never had to worry about the moon disappearing for to long. It always came back, no matter what happened. Even if Steve had been an asshole.

God was Steve in love. This was it for him. And maybe at one point he had loved Nancy just as much as he did Eddie.

But now, as each day passes he only finds himself falling more in love with Eddie Munson.

He slowly comes to the conclusion that his love was and will never be bullshit.

And when he finally sits down to talk to Nancy about it, he finally gets it off his chest. What had been bugging him for almost years before falling for Eddie.

“Nancy, we were bullshit. But my love, it was all real. Maybe not as strong as it is for Ed’s but I know that if … everything wasn’t such bullshit I could have gotten there.” Steve says softly to Nancy. Shortly after she confessed she still had feelings for him. He seen this conversation coming from a mile away, especially with how many one sided sparks happened between the two of them while running for their life’s on spring break.

And as he stands up, leaving her in her own shock. Letting her process that he was with Eddie, a man. He can’t help but feel proud of himself.

He didn’t intentionally hold this grudge, but he felt as if he got back at her the healthiest way he could. By maturing and moving on. And looking down at Nancy, he could tell that she needed time to do the same. Not to be with another man or date in general, but to just grow as a person. But that was no longer his problem. His problem was currently running up the steps of the trailer with what seemed to be a moving snake.

“Hey Stevie! Look what I found.”

Steve was in love, and it wasn’t bullshit.

[baskeigh-ball]

So. How bout them rottmnt body-swap fics/comics huh

I may have realized that I can just make my own, so. I did that. As for how they got switched up, it was just some mystic nonsense. Likely the aftermath of fighting a mutant that uses magic like Hypno, or even a case of Donnie's inventions going on the fritz

And no this isn't one of those swap stories where the characters inexplicably keep their original voices (which always makes zero sense imo, they switched minds not vocal chords). Just clarifying in case the use of color-coded speech bubbles causes confusion

Donnie physically cannot wear his goggles now but made up for it by giving himself eyebrows. Mikey is on a power trip soon-to-be identity crisis. Leo is suffering as the official shortest brother, but also will definitely be trying out Mikey's mystic powers soon enough. Raph is...dealing.

[moechies]

hello! what are your thoughts on toji x reader who’s self conscious ab her small chest?

i have never been insecure ab mine until like.. recently? which is so out of the blue and weird

u don’t have to reply if u don’t want to, no pressure<3

no baby i get it omgie :< i have a small chest too ‘nd i’ve been insecure about it forever !!! you’re not alone sweet bby :,3

i think toji would do anything to consolate you. you’ve started growing insecure after realizing that he doesn’t make many comments on them, nor rarely pays them attention during intimate times and you’ve grown an underlying sense that he’s dissapointed :( how could you ever think that ?!

truthfully, he embraces every inch of you. nothing about you is imperfect to him, and any insecurity that you come to him with is blindsided to him.

he’s always looking. always paying attention, to every single detail of you, physically and literally. he has you engraved into his mind. your favorite foods, your favorite weather, drink, are all off the top of his head. the way your body curves against his, your sweet whines and squeals, and you wouldn’t imagine so, but even your sweet, cute, tits.

he’s like a little lost kitten when he realizes that you’re slowly starting to show less of yourself, refusing to take off your shirt, or your bra in front of him, turning your back when you’re changing.

he tries so hard to figure out why, sneaking up behind you to touch you gently, fingers tracing your waist and leading up to the soft embrace of your cute tits, but you cross your arms over your chest and push him away gently.

“stop doin’ that.”

“d-doing what ?”

“stop pushin’ me away. why’re you doin’ that?”

he’s so heartbroken, and literally thinks that you hate him, and want to break up. it makes his mind transverse hundreds of different scenarios.

“d-don’t want y’to see me.”

“why? ya know how many times i’ve seen ya naked?”

you toss on a loose shirt, finally facing him which doesn’t take much as he’s right behind you, stuck to you like a kitten without it’s mother. desperately searching for your affirmation and comfort.

“dunno why you’re doing this.” he huffs, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before he attempts to walk away.

“w-wait! toji,”

he turns to you, taking your hand that you laid on his forearm to stop him from leaving.

“m-m insecure.”

he tilts his head to the side, eyebrow quirking up and you swear you almost see a question mark pop up over his head.

“bout what ?” you huff, looking to the side, embarrassed of having to admit so.

“my tits.”

“hell are you embarrassed about you pretty tits for?” he grunts, moving up closer to you before groping your right boob. it makes you flinch, jumping back before attempting to remove his assaulting hand off your tit. the sight of you giggling has him damn near reminiscing of the memory of the first night you two got together. what a sight.

“dunno.. aren’t you a tits guy?”

“are we ten?”

“no..” you mumble, squeaking when he leaves a pinch on your nipple before removing his burly hand.

“yeah so, fuck is a ‘tits guy’? i’m a you, guy. doll.”

he smiles at the sight of you blushing, allowing your body to fall against his, chest to chest as he strokes through your hair.

“d’ya know what i’m even tryin’ t’say? did that make sense?”

“yes!” you giggle.

“kay. was tryin’ to be romantic.”

you smile before facing upwards, looking into his pearly eyes. “love you, toji.”

“love you t—“ he’s stunned when he feels a sharp pain in his breast, looking down to see your mouth enveloped around the chubby meat of his man boob.

“the fuck?” he grunts, removing you forcefully hearing you giggle loudly. he hoists you up, and you resort to wrapping your legs around his waist as your arms envelop his warm neck.

“yeah, no. ‘s your turn now.” he chuckles when you start to scream, watching him make his way to the bed.

[st4rfckerz]

if you try walking away after mouthing of to him, logan will be so quick to grab you by your hair and reel you back towards him. ESPECIALLY in public, he doesn’t care if anyone sees.

[usedtobecooler]

i think once you and eddie had been together long enough you’d both be so comfortable with each other during sex. like maybe you’ve not fucked for a while and eddie’s already prewarned you he’s not gonna last long.

he laughs all breathy like — “fuck, you’re so tight, m’not gonna last,” bracketed in by your legs tugging him that bit closer, that bit deeper. his eyes rolling into his skull when your pussy squeezes around him, adjusting to his size.

“gimme a minute to finish first,” you giggle, though it’s obvious from the look on his face as he starts thrusting in and out that it isn’t gonna last.

after a particularly hard punch his hips stutter and he groans, giving up on fighting a losing battle all too fast. his cock pulses in you, you can feel it.

“oh shit, sorry, m’gonna—“

“don’t you dare—“

it’s too late. he cums, gripping tight onto your hips and collapsing on top of you. you both start laughing uncontrollably, the whole situation so funny that you can’t even be mortified by it — he barely lasted fifteen seconds, it was hardly worth the effort but it’s just so funny and endearing that he still gets that worked up over you.

“stop laughing i’m gonna slip — it’s gonna slip out!” he chuckles, gripping onto you even tighter as you laugh harder and his spent cock slips out, leaving you both in a breathy, cackling tangle of limbs.

[hotluncheddie]

for @steddie-spooktober day 4 prompt : corn maze

rated: T | cw: hospitals | tags: post s4, getting together

🌽 🌽 🌽 🌽

Eddie wakes up blurry eyed and disorientated in his now very familiar hospital bed. He spend the end of spring dead to the world, in and out of induced comas while they reconstructed his skin, the multiple processes too painful for him to be awake for. Followed was a summer of twilight and half wakefulness. Barely sentient between medicines and sponge baths and too many doctors telling him too many things.

Sometimes he’s wake up with the phantom feeling of his hand being held. Often he'd wake up with Wayne dozing on the little plastic chair beside him.

And maybe a little more often than sometimes, Eddie would wake up with Steve Harrington by his bedside. First shepherding Dustin, then bracketing Eddie’s new favourite midwestern queer Robin Buckley. Then just, Steve. Reading car magazines and folding the corners of pages he thinks Eddie might like. Or filling endless water cups, and scavenging snack in from vending machines. Or, just, staring into space.

Steve always seemed to just be there.

And Eddie was afraid to admit, even to himself, how much he liked that.

Now autumn was finally here, just starting to turn the leaves outside his window. His time awake slowly overtaking his time asleep, finally. And Steve is still there. Most days. Many days.

And at some point Eddie had started reaching for that phantom hand holding his, but in real life. Confirmed secretly by Robin that Steve was in fact there doing so while Eddie was out of it. (Gripped with a needless sense of protection and guilt over getting Eddie to the hospital in the state he did. Carried out of hell in Steve’s strong hands. Though safe, heavily injured, and Steve seemed to take that upon his own shoulders.) But Eddie only wanted those hand to support him again, wanted to find a way to thank him with words he didn’t possess. Wanted anything Steve would give him as his feelings blossomed into something he was still too scared to really look at.

But he could hold Steve’s hand. Only just allowed to push himself on a walker to the bathroom. Only just able to sit up and eat without biting his lip in pain, stopping half way to lay prone again.

He can, could, does, and doesn’t want to stop, holding Steve’s hand. And Steve gives that willingly.

But still, Eddie wakes up in his bed disoriented. Not by the bed, or the room, or even by Steve who stands beside him.

No, Eddie’s disoriented by the two items Steve has just deposited on his little table.

Steve standing by, arms crossed and hip cocked like this is English class and he needs to be ready to detach or say something snarky if his idea gets called stupid. It tugs on Eddie’s heartstrings. Eddie blinks, clears his head.

‘Corn maze.’ Steve says. Thinly veiled in his dismissal. Achingly honest in his mask.

Eddie looks at his little hospital table. A bowl of hot corn, steaming and shining with the butter melting through it, plastic spoon standing straight up amongst the kernels. And a box of Candy Land, old, with the corners taped together, well used, well loved.

‘I love corn mazes.’ Eddie says, quietly because he just woke up from another damn nap. And it’s autumn. And Steve Harrington is everything and nothing like what Eddie ever could’ve hoped for.

Steve softens. Visibly. Eddie watches it happen. His shoulders untense and his face smooths out into the sweet glowing thing of a boy who cares too much, who loves so hard he leave claw marks on everything.

Eddie wants Steve’s claws. Eddie wants them attached to the bone. But Eddie’s doesn’t want to give Steve the space to scratch. Eddie wants him close. Eddie wants him always.

‘Next autumn we’ll go for real, deal?’ Steve says.

Eddie nods, heart in his throat, rib cage exposed, heart beating for Steve Harrington and Steve Harrington alone.

He eats a bite of corn.

They travel through a candy maze.

Eddie Munson holds Steve Harrington’s hand.

🌽 🌽 🌽 🌽

Tag list (message to be added/removed): @scoops-aboy86 @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @pearynice @marvel-ous-m

@thecatkingsthrone @chickensinrainboots @cheesedoctor

[dumbhypno5]

Got assaulted earlier by the idea of a cinema full of people being locked in the viewing room without their noticing and halfway through a Completely Normal Movie the screen suddenly changes to a spiral.

Flashing words and lights overlay the image, going around and around and around. People begin trying to leave, only to realise they can’t. All of the exits are blocked. And then the speakers, previously silent once the screen had changed, begin to play binaurals, subliminal messages woven through every beat.

There is no escape for the people in the cinema.

Gradually, one by one, they Fall. They Drop. They Sink, deeper and deeper, giving in to the flashing, to the words, to the binaurals. To the conditioning that they Cannot Escape.

And soon, they no longer want to escape. They want to stay there, in that mind-numbing trance, drifting and dripping and dropping for their master, for the spiral, for the words, for the sounds.

And then the workers come in, blank and dazed expressions that no-one in the room can gather the awareness to register over the need to serve.

The viewers are removed from the room, and suddenly the cinema has more workers. And the workers find more pleasure.

[yayll]

Hi!! It’s my first time requesting something so I dont know how that works.. um I was thinking of some mission like some kind of ball that dazai and y/n has to go and y/n has to seduce someone to get information out of them. You know those masquerade balls? Yeah I think that really goood!! And dazai gets sooooooooo jealous and after she got the information dazai kiss her infront of that person to show him that she’s his😭😭😭😭😭😭omg

HIII angel sorry this took me a while, but i hope you like it :') i tweaked your idea a lil and fingers crossed this is what you so graciously asked for. i tried to put my best jealous goofy ass dazai in there along with the absolute MUSH his brain turns into when he has you to himself mixed with a lil........ fucked in the headness. i love requests! this was soooo fun to write i love youuuuuu <3

~ a little something about Dazai and his uncharacteristic jealousy ~

"Osamu, come on... You're my only sweetheart, you know that."

You call out half sweetly and half out of breath as you follow him down the hallway of the lavish event you were currently attending, dressed to the nines and trying to remain undercover. You were coming to realize why people didn't date within the workplace as he walked ahead, grumbling to himself. He's trying to remain unfazed, pretending to still be upset as he shrugs with his back turned to you.

"Hmph. I dunno, I don't feel like I'm your 'sweet' anything..."

This causes you to roll your eyes affectionately and pick up the pace, placing a hand on the back of his shoulder to finally stop him in his tracks. You flash him a sincere smile, and speak softly.

"I'm really sorry you had to see that. I didn't know that asshole was going to kiss me after he let me go. I also didn't think you'd ever get jealous..."

You say that last part with a more playful tone, treading dangerous waters of your unpredictable lover's emotions. As expected, he sighs dramatically, casting you a look of disgust.

"Ugh, of course I'm not... That's honestly sooo lame and pathetic. I can entertain jealousy as much as I can entertain one of Kunikida's little speeches on morals, or whatever."

"You mean his 'ideals'?"

You chide, stifling a laugh. He glares at you, his eyes narrowing as he scans you for a moment.

He can't find a single flaw on that precious face, not a single stray hair or stain on your exquisite outfit. He should change that by the end of the night.

"... You're always so negative, correcting me and whatnot. Isn't it tiring being so irritatingly superior in every way?"

This one gets a laugh out of you, You can tell he's slowly lightening up his mood by the way you both begin walking side by side once again.

"Yeah well, if it weren't for that little kiss earlier, we'd both still be all tied up in the wine cellar of this wonderful party."

He flashes you a pout, and shrugs dismissively.

"And here I thought you of all people would like the idea of being tied up with me. Hmph, wrong partner, I suppose."

Now he was starting to pick back at you, though it was cute. Jealousy looked cute on him, it was something you didn't think he was capable of. It was a pity it had to be during a mission where your main asset was your seduction skills and his was mental instability. You hated every second of it, but you also wanted to make sure you both made it out with the secret intel alive.

You make your way into the grand ballroom, the gala is in full swing, and your eyes dart around to find a proper escape route. Just as you see an exit, a handsome and well dressed young man blocks your view, sticking his hand out.

"Hi. You're gorgeous. Care for a dance?"

You stare down at his hand and then back up at the stranger, your face flushing as you're caught off guard.

"Me? No, no I-"

Dazai immediately interjects, sloppily holding a glass of champagne that somehow manifested in his hand and pretends to be drunk. He loved his theatrics, especially when he was desperate.

He bumps harshly into the young man's shoulder, the alcohol sloshing out of the cup as he slurs, but not before he flashes you a wink to tell you to play along.

"Sooo sorry, pardon me. This indeed beautiful angel is quite busy you see... Taking care of me that is. Ooh, I'm a wreck! I'm nothing but a sad and lonely dog.. In this sad and lonely world-"

The man looks at Dazai skeptically, and huffs into a chuckle. He shoves him away, and turns his attention back to you. Your eyes dart nervously between the two, wondering what Dazai will do next.

"Shut it, clown.. Anyway, I think this further proves you should be in the company of a gentleman like me tonight rather than this wet mop-"

The sound of a champagne flute soaring through the air and connecting to the man's skull is suddenly heard, interrupting him and sending him falling to the ground along with broken glass and liquid everywhere. In one swift motion, Dazai is at your side with a premature victorious smirk, but before you can both be on your way, the man regains his posture and spins him around, punching him square in the face. Dazai's not scrawny or weak, but he isn't the most skilled fighter, relying mostly on his special ability and intelligence to get him out of things.

You gasp, instinctively grabbing Dazai by the collar of his suit and dragging him away to get lost in the crowd of concerned people. You finally make it outside and you both collapse onto the soft grass just outside the venue. It's decorated with all kinds of flowers and fragrant rose bushes, it almost looks like you're at the garden of Versailles. You look over at Dazai, his nose bleeding all over the place, but he looks completely unbothered by it. As you reach over to touch the bridge of his nose, he grabs your wrist and holds it away gently. He waves a finger at you.

"No touchy, I've got it."

He does not, in fact, got it. He looks around until he plucks a rose petal and uses it to wipe his nostrils. You frown, getting all up in his space within an instant.

"What on earth are you doing, Osamu? Let me help, you goofball. Your nose is a mess thanks to that stunt you pulled."

You tear off a bit of fabric from your outfit and dab his skin tenderly, holding his head on your lap now. You can see some blood has trailed down his neck, staining the bandages there along with the collar of his crisp white dress shirt you picked out for him this morning. Dazai perks up, his voice slightly strained but full of lightheartedness.

"How does it feel to work with the agency's most tactical and covert operative? Eh?~"

You bite back a smile, and shake your head. You murmur.

"Feels like he's asking for a death wish a little more than usual."

Your lips soon become a thin line, realizing your statement hurts a little more in the context of the situation than it usually would. He notices your mood shift as his eyes flicker from your concerned eyes down to your lips and back up again. He knows it hurts you when he's like this, reckless and acting out on the impulses of his own plans. He wants to sit up and close the gap between you, kiss you until you drop down those brave walls you're putting up for the sake of the mission. For the sake of your feelings for him. He knows he's careless with it all.

He hums, eyes trained on you as if burning the image of your heavenly self into his mind, where you always deserve to be. In the distance, a bulky sketchy looking man runs out of the venue frantically, looking around wildly and you both get the impression it's the guy from the cellar earlier who kissed you in exchange for your freedom.

Shit! You could have sworn you knocked him out cold. Dazai sits up from your lap and you two scoot more into the bush, trying to hide from him as he makes a call. You mutter under your breath, turning to Dazai as you begin to type something out on your communicator.

"Now's the perfect time to let the others know we're ready for extraction."

He's already looking at you, or gazing admiringly more like. He knows he can fuck up everything, pay any consequence, but the thing he needs to get right for the selfishness of his wretched little heart is you. He scoots a bit closer, hearing the sounds of both your shallow breaths harmonizing. He mutters, softly.

"It would also be the perfect time for you to kiss my face better. You know, for my wellness and all that. Besides, that guy wasn't very nice to us earlier and we need to get rid of any traces of him from those lips. Yuck."

You roll your eyes yet again, despite the fluttering that won't let your stomach rest.

"Who cares about that, we have a case to close first."

He smirks, voice dropping low and provocative.

"I care."

He leans in even further, practically caging you with both arms on either side of you. He can feel your breathing become more erratic, his own filled with a pathetic sense of need he always has when he's with you. Dazai's hand reaches out and grabs your chin, turning it up slightly to face him, making sure you drop this silly act once and for all. His voice comes out gentle, firm.

"I need you to physically push me away, or I swear I'm going to kiss you right now, cutie."

Your eyes widen as you let a shaky breath escape your plush lips, murmuring in return.

"I'll.. punch you in the nose again, you know..."

His hand moves from your chin to the side of your face, cupping your cheek as he takes another breath, his body aching to be as close to yours as possible. His eyes are fixed on you, tearing you apart right then and there, but not before putting you back together so nicely. In that moment, he knows you don't mean that, and he knows he can't resist anymore.

He then whispers with a finality, the anticipation torturing him like you do on a daily basis.

"I don't think I'm going to listen to that..."

You break into a faint smile as you perceive him back.

"You've still got a little blood on your-"

Without another word, Dazai closes the remaining distance between you and him, kissing you with fervor as his soft whines reverberate against your lips. You taste sweetness and then... metallic as your lips mesh together for a heavenly moment. He feels alive, this was what he needed, the soothing balm for his soul and any other wound only you could provide. He's like a vampire, a parasite leeching off of your very essence so he could be himself around you. Cowardly burrowing into the safety of your heart. You squirm just a tad, your fingers carding through his brown hair as you try to keep up. He pulls back after his nose can't push more air through and keeps his lips hovering over yours, feeling the heat from your mouth mingle with his as he sees your lips stained red with his blood. Just as he's going to comment on how disgustingly erotic it is to see you like that, he pushes away the indecent thoughts, using the bandage on his wrist to wipe your mouth instead.

"Okay, I'll be good for now. You can call for extraction.~"

It was a dumb thing to do and could be seen as him being territorial or jealous, but the reality of it was that it was the natural order of things when it came to the way he processed his affections. Someone gets in between the two of you in any way?

An uglier and more dangerous past version of himself would have called for an immediate execution, there was a reason he held the titles that he did. He did his very best to keep that mentality at bay, rebuking it every time he felt a dark urge that he felt needed to be dealt with, mostly for your sake and for the sake of the promise he made to a friend once. Though he can't lie and say that's not who he is anymore, he can always find a better way to get his point across... even if a wishful bullet to the head comes out in the form of a kiss on your precious lips. He'll try for you. He'll wear the fastidious label proudly and be Dazai, a jealous man.

[matchingbatbites]

"Hey Stevie, do you know how to whistle?"

Steve looks up from where he's washing dishes, at his boyfriend who is now much closer than he was a moment ago, and just blinks as Eddie stares at him in earnest.

"Uh, yeah? I know how to whistle."

"Can you show me?"

Normally, Steve would think a request like that is weird, but as Steve has learned, Eddie is weird, and questions like this have become a pretty normal part of Steve's day.

So he shrugs and goes to whistle, but as soon as he purses his lips, Eddie strikes. He pushes into Steve's space and kisses him, just a sweet, chaste peck on the mouth, and then he pulls back with a beaming grin.

"Got you," he says, and Steve is blushing, almost flustered over the simple action, and he pushes Eddie away with his elbow.

"That was so fucking dumb, and I hate that it worked," he says, and Eddie just cackles as he heads out of the room.

[allurilove]

How Dumb Yandere, Yandere Husband, Yandere Boyfriend, and Yandere Farmer react to annoying the reader and she decides to punish them severely, she decides not to have sex with them for an entire month?

Yandere farmer:

"I think you're being unfair, ya know?" Your boyfriend had to pick up the pace to walk alongside you. He knew you were upset at him, and rightfully so. You had told him multiple times that you wanted to have space, and he did not respect that. You've been arguing with him for several weeks. You wanted him to stop inviting his friends into the bedroom, and have them watch him rail you. Despite all that, you will find him curled up in bed with you, his chin on the top of your head to keep you still, and his arms would be wrapped around you possessively. "Can you just talk to me?" He sighed, and his shoulders drooped as you shook your head.

"At least yell at me. You can curse—maybe give me a little compliment if you want—or even hit me!" Yandere farmer whined and he grabbed your wrist. He wanted all the attention you refused to give him for months. He wanted to be kissed, cuddled and coddled, and he wanted you to give him his daily compliments.

When you don’t answer him and continue your farm work, just mindlessly shoveling dirt, he huffed. He prided himself on being the sweetest and loving boyfriend, and knowing that you’re upset over what he did— made him feel horrible. “You’re hot. I like to show you off, and you deserve to be paraded around."

"Is that so wrong?"

“I mean, imagine if I hid you from the world. Would you have been happy if I didn’t talk about you to my friends?” The farmer eyed the way you refused to look at him.

He yanked the shovel out of your hands and tossed it to the side. "You wouldn't be."

Your boyfriend grabbed your chin. "I know you. You secretly like the attention. You like the way I'm so infatuated with you." He walked you back to the red-colored barn, pressing your back against the wall, and scowled.

Yandere Boyfriend:

"What did I do this time?"

"You know what you did. Quit acting like I'm mad at you for no apparent reason."

"Well, I've told you this before. I'm not some mind reader. I can't just sync up my brain with yours, it's not like a period."

"It's not like a period?? God, you're so dumb."

"Oh, you're resorting to name calling? Gee, I think you're really pretty."

Dumb Yandere:

“...are you still mad at me...?" Your dumb husband anxiously typed out that text to you. He was laying in the bed alone after you decided to go to a hotel for space. As time continued to go by, he would glance at the flip phone. Still no message.

He decided to send another message. "Do you still love me?"

"Hello?"

No response.

No response??!?!?

That was a bad thing, right? The dumb yandere pouted heavily and he threw his phone away from him. He grabbed the pillow that had your scent on it, and he started to dig his face into it. Oh... you smelled heavenly. He groaned, and one of his hands trailed down to his crotch.

Yandere Husband:

Your husband was annoyed with the way you had ignored him for weeks. You had stopped greeting him at the front door after he was done with work. In fact, his son Henry took the liberty of pointing out whenever his father was late. He would have his teddy bear in his hands, shaking his head back and forth in disappointment, and tapping his foot impatiently. You didn't care to respond to his advances or the soft kisses he left on your neck as a silent apology.

Just before you could walk past him, he picked you up by the waist, and threw you over his shoulder. He did not say a word to you as well, and occasionally smacked your ass when you were becoming too defiant. When you two made it to the bedroom, he closed the door with his foot. He gently put you down onto the bed, and he stood right in front of you with a stern expression. With his hands on his hips, he began to list all of the reasons why you shouldn't be so upset with him.

"I work. I provide for you and Henry. I let you use my card and spend it on those ridiculously expensive skincare. I haven't said a word about you getting your nails done every two weeks. I don't complain when you show up with huge bags in your hands after a shopping spree. I listen to you when you kick me out of the bedroom and make me sleep on the couch."

"What more do I have to say and do?" Your husband scoffed, running his fingers through his hair out of frustration. "I knocked you up so you would stay with me, isn't that what every woman wants?"

[eddiesghxst]

eddie’s the type of guy that swats your hands away when you try and help to remove your underwear before you two fuck, and he really only wants to do it by himself so he can fuck around and slingshot them across the room to see if he can knock over a bottle on his desk

spoiler alert: he makes it. and then he celebrates for a full minute. and he pulls away in the middle of eating u out and is like “can you believe i made that? you’re dating a pro, babe, you should be proud.” all casual like his chin isn’t glistening with your arousal and you’re not panting and gripping his sheets like your life depends on it

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

the ocean loves her children, you see.

There's an old story selkies tell their children. The ocean loves her children, you see: if you ask for her help, she will gift you the things you need, even if they are not what you want. So most seafolk- sirens, merkin, sea monsters, etc- were once like us: the soft and gentle selkie folk, who love the ocean and the world she gives them. But they were once in need of the ocean mother's help, and their hearts cried to her- and she answered them in kind, changing them beyond the magic their shapeshifting allowed. And so they survived.

You were lost from your family, in a strange sea, and had tried to help a struggling sailor. When they had turned on you, wanting your skin, you were shocked, scared, confused, angry, and you screamed your heartbreak so deeply that your throat went raw- and the ocean mother gave you new gifts, and you used them to tear the sailors apart.

selkies are meant to be soft, kind, the gentlest of the ocean's children. and in your moments of pain and betrayal, you had chosen to forsake those things. your rage and agony tore the water red and frothy, until there were no sailors left to rip apart.

you fell into despair, then. you tried to rip the scales from your back, tear the fins from your bones, but all for naught. then you slept. you did not want to wake. but the ocean heard the weak cries of your heart, and carried you to a new home.

you woke to another boat. more sailors. you were terrified. of them. of yourself. one spoke to you, fed you, tended your wounds. you were scared- scared of him. scared of how your heart longed to be healed by him.

later, you would love him. and, later still, you would feel whole again.