#dumb chatlogs

[time-teller]

2017 me was a whole other person huh

[rhythmichigh]

I am keeping this for posterity.

Featured with no context whatsoever and hi @aheartmadeofkyber

L: dad always handsome just think now we can have dad and baegent being handsome together

S: oh god please I HADN'T THAT HADN'T OCCURRED ... TO ME YET ... I CAN ONLY PROCESS SO MUCH DERAILMENT AT ONCE

L: baegent shaving dad's beard because it makes hera grumpy but dad is blind and can't see what he's doing and he trusts a man with perfect muttonchops to do it nicely

S: oh my lord

L: ;D not that he doesn't trust mom with a straight razor and his neck but it's Just A Dude Thing, ezra doesn't have facial hair yet, chopper is a droid, zeb's hair naturally grows that way and rex doesn't bother anymore and only knows how to give buzzcuts S: i'm crying honestly and i'm sure kallus is 9000% PERPLEXED AS TO WHY ANY OF THESE PEOPLE TRUST HIM WITH ANYTHING AT ALL, WHAT IS THIS SHIT YOU GUYS ... but you don't look gift tauntauns in the mouth

L: "i don't trust you as far as I can throw you but as a man I trust you to not fuck up my sick-ass beard"

[butchcinna]

Found family my beloved...!! Dumb chatlog on readmore

MC.Princess > Octolings are Judds

Agent.III> ...?

Coo1.Agent > haha what??

Agent 2 > Explain.

MC.Princess > [File attached]

MC.Princess > Sun spot? I live here now

Coo1.Agent > AWWW

■Webmaster■ > DJ_Hyperfresh has joined the chatroom.

Agent 2 > busted

DJ_Hyperfresh > Pearlie...

■Webmaster■ > MC.Princess has left the chatroom.

[thewertsearch]

TT: Why is it that when the subject of temporal mechanics is broached your sparing troll intellects etcetera etcetera. GA: See That Is What I Mean Rose You Are Not As Dumb Of A Girl As I Was Initially Lead To Believe TT: You mean based on the first impression I am apparently about to make in our next conversation? GA: Yes

GA’s impression of Rose is completely coloured by their first conversation with her, where Rose demonstrated to GA that she was an idiot. We know from their previous in-comic chatlog that Rose will also suggest in that conversation that they should be friends. 

GA: I Will Send You A Copy Our First Conversation Directly From My Chat Log -- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] sent tentacleTherapist [TT] the file "ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt" --

GA even goes as far as to send Rose a transcript of this conversation, which we don’t get to see yet. This presents an interesting dilemma for Rose, as GA reveals their nefarious plan.

TT: I guess being forced to cooperate with a stable time loop is the only plausible explanation for my remarks. [...] TT: And what if my counter-counter measure is to choose not to transcribe this dialogue accurately in the future-first place? GA: But See I Have Edited The Copy Already In Ways That Will Remain Secret For Now But You Will Discover Once You Type It GA: So You Are Destined To Edit It No Matter What And What You Submit Will Be What I Once Read Regardless GA: !

Here is the ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt trap, as presented by GA.

“I Have A (Possibly Edited) Chatlog Of Our Next Conversation, Where You Act Like An Idiot. Your Challenge Is To Avoid Having This Conversation.”

If you copy this chatlog verbatim, then it’ll turn out to be unedited, and you’re conforming to the loop.

If you edit it, you’ll turn out to be reverting the edits I already made, and you’re confirming to the loop.

These aren’t Rose’s only options. She could also

Delete the log without even reading it - but if she doesn’t know what messages not to send, she could end up conforming to the loop anyway.

Read the log, and don’t send any messages in it during her next conversation with GA - but the log could be a complete fabrication. 

Truth is, no matter how Rose interacts with the chatlog, it won’t help her avoid this loop. ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt isn’t giving her any concrete information about her next conversation with GA, because any or all of it could be fabricated. 

This trap is actually unsolvable with our current understanding of temporal mechanics in Sburb. We don’t know what circumstances generate stable loops, or how or even if timelines diverge. Rose could be completely free to avoid  ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl, or she could be completely trapped in it. We just don’t know yet.

TT: I'll admit, it's a more advanced tactic than I gave you credit for. GA: Yes And The Providence Of This Antagonism Ninja Vice Grip Pinching Your Larynx Has Already Begun To Supply My Purpose With Fruit GA: The Chilly Frost Shimmering On Our Tree Of Human Friendship Has Begun To Thaw

Neither of our players actually care about that, though, because this is actually just a pretense for them to get to know each other a little better.

[autisticvenomsibs]

another one from the chatlogs! this wasn’t literally day one but it was close

(the “Good Luck” helmet is my favorite. I really hope he uses it for sarcasm purposes)

Someone: (dumb idea)

Kobra Kid: (lowers visor)

HEY ON THAT NOTE DUMB HEADCANON: I always imagined Kobra Kid was that one character who never talks and that the helmet was a nod to the fact that he has different ways of communicating. I literally just did a couple google searches to find out if it was canon somewhere, because it was years ago and I wasn't sure if I’d imagined that detail or taken it from somewhere else, but apparently it was just me.

On that note what if he’s deaf and he talks to the others in mostly ASL, and the loud music is like 85% Rebellion and 15% “Kobra needs to appreciate this sweet bassline”

I see a description of him as “tall, fast, and loud” and idk where it’s taken from or if it’s even canon but if it is it just makes me love this idea more

[davekat-sucks]

as someone who doesn't like Eridan I am curious as to why he is your favorite character.

Part of it is his design that really stands out from most of the other characters. Eridan is quite more fashionable than Kanaya. He at least show more emphasis on him being the respective violetblood he takes pride in, while also wearing blue, another color that is related to highblood status. As well as blue being part of a violet shade. Though if you try to tell him vviolets are blue, he will damn correct you that vviolets are vviolets. Learn your damn colors! Another is a bit of his personality. He is a douche, a tool. A violetblood who takes advantage of being high privileged and will put others down beneath him, because the hemospectrum says so. He is more racist than Equius. He is the perfect example of what a troll should be and how trolls should act. Too many fantroll OCs go for the more revolutionary against Alternia or being the "nicer" troll. But no one tries to be racist to lowbloods like a rustblood or bronze. No highblood fans themselves with their money or seen to enjoy living a luxurious lifestyle. He is the OG real deal of what it is like if someone is born under Her Imperious Condescesion's ruling. The only thing that he does have a fear that even he cannot escape as a highblood, was the pailing. Basically, he needs to fuck with someone or he dies, because Eridan did not contribute to help repopulate his race. It's already bad enough sea dwellers are rare to come by and his quadrants are empty as hell. Despite being the rich kid, Eridan craves for attention, whether be red romance or black hatred. Any one of those would be able to please him, if it meant it could comfort his ease of loneliness. The way he approaches could be seen as creepy, but at least Eridan is honest about his feelings. He doesn't dance around or lie hard to those close to him. It's that same advice of being direct that he tells to Kanaya, because she will not get Vriska's attention that way. It's also why he can't kill land dwellers. He wants to have good relationships with them. It's that same relationship that shows he his a hypocrite. The dude rants about being a sea dweller and wanting to kill all land dwellers. But he never acts on it. He only commissions people to build doomsday devices, but never makes one himself. Eridan spends most of his time on land than at sea, as Feferi points out. He has an interests in wizards, but doesn't believe in magic. That's a bit of parallel of Rose's interest to write yaoi wizard fics, but she dislikes wizards themselves because of her mother's encouragement of her hobby (though Rose was over analyzing her intentions, she did not realize Mom Lalonde did care about her well being despite Sburb going to happen). The man collects various weapons, but his main strife specibus is his rifle. We don't actually know if he uses the harpoons, spears, or other weapons he has collected in his hive. It could relate to Eridan's interest in military history and wanting to be like said general figures and dictators. But we rarely see him gather some army or actually trying to lead like one. He is all glub and no bite. It's sort of interesting that he is flawed. And of course, we cannot address about his actions in Murderstuck. You can sort of sympathize with him in some way. He lost his moirail, he has no other friends left, his home planet is destroyed, and this big bad Jack Noir is going to kill them. With Alternia gone, anything like hemospectrum or highblood lowblood status, don't mean SHIT if they have to abandon it. That means, Eridan has nothing left on himself. All of this happened as he was still a TEENAGER. The poor fish was feeling hopeless and his actions were caused by his own emotions. It's different from Gamzee, who can be seen controlled by Caliborn/Lord English or was willing to follow to help for his cause. Different from Vriska, as she wants to be seen as the big hero by raising the stakes even higher than before. I sort of wished that he could have faced Gamzee in some way during that x3 showdown combo, since their aspects are complementary towards each other. It would also be

fitting he gets revenge for Dualscar's death, by killing the descendant of the Grand Highblood. He and Vriska could have worked together one last time against the clown. Part of me also jokingly thinks Eridan would try to convince Vriska to take him to Jack in order to serve him. It's sort of a question of how exactly Eridan would get Jack Noir's attention. It is never explained how, even when Feferi and Sollux agreed they have to stop him. Would he fire his wwand to make a signal beam to get Jack to fly over? Would he asks Vriska to deliver himself to the man? No one knows, but either way, his surrender out of fear could be seen as dumb and cowardly. Sucks that he got killed by end of Act 5. But probably for the best he stayed dead, so that his character wasn't ruined from Act 6 to Pesterquest. His character not doing much as a sprite was one of the worst offenses. He really could have helped Jake about his Hope powers, but every dead troll there was shafted aside. At least let FEFPETASPRITE TALK. Don't use her as a joke, just because Hussie doesn't want to do Feferi and Nepeta's quirk in one chatlog! Then there's the half assed "redemption" joke bit from Epilogues and the ridiculous gender arc by retconning Eridan's backstory and forgetting about another character's relation with his lusus. Because WhatPumpkin don't want him to be a racist, rich creep asshole. And yet, it's why I love him. Eridan is one flawed, tragic villain. Maybe I just have a weird interests in douchebags who try so hard to be liked or acknowledged of being superior by putting others down to push their own pride, but with the way that has been set for Eridan, sort of makes sense to me that he would do all these actions. It's fucked up, but I can't blame him for being put in that kind of situation. Being a kid and growing up, it's hard and nobody understands. His life was an Ugly Story.

[skypied]

Hi, I am so confused! What is the sandbox au?

Sandbox AU is the dumbest thing ever and I love it more than anything <3 uuuuh iiiiit's soooomething mostly me, @annie-mantic and @lambdraws are playing around with! It’s mostly just for fun and shits and giggles but maybe it might become something one day?? It started as "it's winter and life is miserable I wanna write completely mindless dumb teenager oneshots" thing and has grown like 20 times in size the past week and my life is ALL sand now. (the sandbox is just what we're calling it, that we're playing in the sandbox lmao, there's no logical reason as to why it's called that)

As of now it's just a series of loose scenes in vaguely chronological order and like 20k of chatlogs of bouncing ideas and nothing's really fully decided, but the basis of it is - modern day human!AU in which Luca goes to Portorosso on vacation without parents for the first time fully intent on having a hot girl summer, has a one night stand with Alberto, and they somehow stumble into a long distance relationship, but secretly it's about the weird family constellation of moms around them (Giulia’s moms are Luca’s godmothers and Massimo gets a GF and we love her more than anything)

sometimes an idea starts off with something small and dumb as “modern day luberto tries sexting but luca screams in frustration bc alberto only uses those damn cat emojis” and a week later there is nothing but sand in your brain

I feel weird talking about it when it’s just a fun playing around thing as of yet - there’s only two rules in the sandbox, 1) no angst and 2) no pressure just having fun. it’s not like an Official Project and maybe it’ll just fade and be fondly remembered as a fun winter fad? Or it might become Something, we’ll see! But it cures my depression on the daily and I love it dearly <3 I get why you ask though, since we just overnight began yelling about Lamb’s art for it ahaha, it is very much a Thing

[faunusrights]

WIP TITLES ASK GAME

Rules: Share the titles of each of your current WIPs, and, if your followers ask, share a preview of the one that sounds the most interesting. Send this on to mutuals who you are curious what they’re working on.

tagged by @texanredrose who probably dislikes me personally for this HGDFSGHJSDF. tbh i often don't title like ANYYYYY of my WIPs until i have to input them onto AO3, so uh. i am going to have to bullshit some names. also i'm gonna do tex's thing and add a little synopsis if i TRULY cannot think of a title lmao.

note: i am NOT counting WIPs that have at least one chapter posted because otherwise we will be here FOREVER AND EVER so uh yeah. this is just stuff trapped in my gdocs. also it's just RWBY for the sake of keeping it simple, stupid,

anyway uh am tagging @edarzhar (bitch) and @flawedvictori too!!! perish,

(this got long so here's a cut)

Bunfeed Bunsolved: The Valley Walk -- YES this is still happening just very slowly. this is the first cinder/velvet fic of the series and i am SO excited because it gets Weird out there. also it's mostly all about how much cinder likes hiking until she's actually doing it. inspired by the horror movie The Ritual (2017) if you MUST have context,

Ode to Stray Dogs -- it's that guard dog!Weiss/Cinder AU i posted the entire plot for a week or so ago! i love love love this AU and it WILL happen and it IS happening i'm just very slow about it sdhjfghjsgdfk anyway weiss becomes cinder's guard dog. that's the fic. also it's very kinky.

Untitled Velvet/Cinder Fic I -- it's untitled and it's a fic! this one is about, erm... a high-class restaurant/bar/whatever that also doubles as a kinky hook-up joint because you can pay for the servers to let you get freaky with them??? im SO sorry this au legit was so spur-of-the-moment but anyway velvet is there being very hot and cinder, emerald and neo are there like 👀s about it sfdhjsgdfgk

Untitled Velvet/Cinder Fic II -- HAH THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!!! this one is also just a stupid dumb kinky idea but anyway it's about... um... well... it's... [makes vague gestures] i feel like if i try and explain this one people are going to be like 'really' at me BUT IT'S REALLY HOT OKAY I'M JUST!!!!!!!!!!! look if i say it has excessive cum and involves like all the girls of rwby can we just agree to leave it there,

Pâte à Choux -- velvet/every girl. they have sex. every girl. and velvet. i TRULY need to say no more,

Untitled Cinder/Neo Fic -- okay this one is good. cinder and neo gatecrash a mistrali wedding in which cinder talks to everyone to gather just enough knowledge to pretend to be a very distant relative whilst neo demolishes the buffet. they are both dressed terribly and get really drunk and whilst the groom is very suspicious of these two two nonbinary lesbians cinder gives the wife a really expensive gift and so she's like 'do not fucking kick them out MICHAEL' and it's very stupid and dumb. anyway they do this once a week,

Untitled Cinder, Mercury, Emerald, Neo, Roman Fic -- chatlog! been poking at this one for a bit... it's just the CRME + Neo groupchat and it's a disaster also it's cinder/velvet again I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW SHUT UP I KNOW

Untitled GWS!Weiss/canon!Weiss fic -- you know the one. very horny. also very sad???

The Grimmification of Ruby Rose -- here's the bitch!!! this is happening albeit very slowly. in this AU, grimm are actually infected people (THIS WAS BEFORE CANON MADE IT COOL) who turn into grimm over a period of weeks/months! ruby gets infected when she's 15 and decides to kill salem before salem can kill her. currently tinkering with the idea of making it ruby/velvet but don't quote me,

Untitled Faunus AU (aka The Academy of Menagerie) -- a modified version of my Everyone Is A Faunus AU, in which all the cast are faunus and attend the academy of menagerie, which has been invited to participate in the vytal Festival for the first time in its 25 year history. naturally, teams RWBYJNPRCFVY etc show up and wreck shop.

The Misadventures of Blake Belladonna's Silicone Dick -- THIS IS HAPPENING I SWEAR TO CHRIST it's SO funny i have to finish this eventually!!! anyway this is about a non-binary transmasc blake (aka my regular blake) who uses a packer!!! people find out and things get ridiculous. namely it somehow ends up on the roof at some point,

Untitled Snowboarding AU -- this one is one of those horny ones that isn't horny on the surface but is getting there. anyway ruby wins tickets for an all-expenses-paid trip to one of the schnee resorts up in solitas and gives them to blake and velvet who end up there in her stead. they meet weiss schnee, professional snowboarder, and it turns out that when weiss is amped on adrenaline sahe is absolutely 100% down 2 clown... so yeah it's weiss/blake/velvet fhgjsfdj

Untitled Dishonored AU Spinoff -- for Tex!!! the person who inflicted this upon me. it's a little story set in the dishonored au in which we focus on velvet--in charge of the vale rebellion--and cinder, who is a Crime Lady looking to help the rebellion out if only so she can get back to doing crimes all the damn time. its also about velvet strategically avoiding all of rubys text messages as she runs around like a clown. people die!

My Summer Car/RWBY Crossover -- this is another one i'm gonna get to EVENTUALLY. in which taiyang and summer leave for vacation in mistral and yang goes and hangs out in vale for the summer, leaving ruby in the house alone with nothing but a shitty old car for company. probably ruby/velvet. shenanigans ensue.

Sims Medieval/RWBY Crossover -- i've been working on this one FOREVERRRRRRRRRR and it Will happen. it will. ruby is the bardic hero of the kingdom of vale in service to her majesty glynda goodwitch! along with nine other heroes, ruby has to help save vale from an untimely end... but the old queen salem still lingers in the shadows, and threatens to consume all the kingdoms in her great maw. can ruby, armed with little more than a lute and her wits, help save vale? probably not but she CAN play a banging ballad,

Untitled Taffeta/Sienna/Sherveen Fic -- dicks out for milfs that is all

Untitled Ash/Ghira/Taffeta/Kali Fic -- dicks out for dilfs that is all

not as many as tex but then again if we counted all the motherfuckers still in progress................. yikes. anyway here's that. i've probably forgotten a few/ignored ones that are similar concepts to these just in their own little branches (the aufeis fic has like a BILLION snippets in my files i just count em all as the same thing sdhjgf) but whatever. anyway. pass the curse along.

[bi-naesala]

You Got A Text

Fandom: Yakuza Rating: E Warnings: / Relationships: Kasuga Ichiban/Majima Goro Characters: Kasuga Ichiban, Majima Goro Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, accidental dick pics, Sexting, Embarrassment, This is DUMB Summary:

A mistake on Ichiban's part brings him and a certain ex-Tojo patriarch much closer than they were.

(Also on AO3)

It’s been only recently that Ichiban has grown accustomed to the art of sending nudes, having found a partner for when he’s horny - how are they called? Fuckbuddies? Yeah, he thinks so.

To be quite honest, he still feels kind of bad doing it: what if he’s interrupting during something important? What if someone else sees? Ichiban doesn’t want to traumatize anyone.

This is why he always asks if he can send a nude, and he does it only if he gets the ok for it. Even then, though, there are other problems: the pose, how hard he should be, how much he should show, and so on…

It took him a while to perfect his technique, and even then he doesn’t feel like he’s doing that great of a job - it’s hard for him to look good on camera… Pun not intended.

 This is what happens usually, but this time, well, this time Ichiban will make an exception.

Consider it revenge for when he’s received a nude unprompted, while he was doing karaoke at survive. Ichiban doesn’t think he’s ever panicked so much, afraid that someone had noticed it, but luckily for him, nobody mentioned anything.

Still, this doesn’t mean that something like this should go unpunished…

  Ichiban’s completely naked on his futon, lightly stroking his cock in order to get it hard, which doesn’t take much to do, since the idea of what he’s about to do is making him very horny already; he just needed a small push.

Once his cock is completely erect, he lowers his phone towards it, snapping a picture of it. He can’t help but to giggle a bit as he does it; oh, it’s going to be so good!

He manages to calm down before sending the picture, accompanying it with the caption “miss u ☹”, though imagining the reaction he’ll get almost makes him break again.

Now he has to wait for a response, but it’s not too bad: he can be patient when he wants to. At least he gets to lightly jerk off to keep himself interested, which is nice.

He remembers that, back in prison, he could never afford to take his time like this. Those rare times in which he really wasn’t able to resist the urge to jerk off, he had to do it quickly in order not to get caught. He had heard stories about what happened to those who were discovered with their hand down their pants, and although he wasn’t sure on whether they were true stories or not, he didn’t want to find out.

 When he hears the sound of a notification, he immediately checks his phone, excited, though he frowns when he reads who’s the one who has sent him a text: Goro Majima.

Ugh, why him? Why now of all times?

Ichiban’s tempted to ignore him, but what if this is official business? Something might’ve happened after all, and they might need Ichiban’ help. He can’t say them no just because of this thing that he’s doing, right? No, he can’t.

The text that he reads, though, is quite weird.

 Woah I didn’t know you felt this way about me Kasuga-chan! Tell ya what, I miss you to XOXO

 What the hell? This makes no sense!

Unless…

 He barely needs to scroll up the chatlog to understand.

Oh no. Oh no no no no no no…

He accidentally sent his nudes to Majima!

 He shoots up from the bed, frantically typing some sort of excuse that - hopefully - will dissuade Majima from killing him next time they meet, assuming he’s not on his way to do it now already.

 Majima-san I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to send it to you, believe me!

And here I thought we had something special </3

 So wait, he’s…

 Aren’t you mad?

Course I ain’t! didn’t you read my first text?

 Well, that’s true, but…

 Damn, and here I thought we had something ):

 At this point, not only Ichiban’s sure that Majima isn’t mad about his mistake, but he’s also… into it?

The - probably - sanest part of his brain is screaming at him to let it go, but he can’t help but to wonder: how far can he push it? Could be worth a try…

 We could if you want?

Sure

 Ichiban’s jaw almost falls off.

 Sure???? That’s it?????

 What else am I supposed to say? I’m hot, you’re hot. Let’s do this

 He’s not wrong, Ichiban finds himself thinking, he’s not wrong at all. Why should he overthink this? It’s nothing bad, just two people blowing off some steam via phone.

Besides, he’d lie if he said that he’s not curious to see what Majima will do and, especially, how he looks down there. He’s already got to see plenty of his upper half since he seems so hellbent on keeping his chest uncovered - doesn’t he ever feel cold?

 There’s only one problem, however.

 Isn’t it a bit unfair though? I’ve showed you mine, but you haven’t showed me yours.

 Maybe it’s his imagination playing tricks on him - it definitely is - but Ichiban could swear that he can hear Majima’s manic cackle even before he sends his response.

 Shit yer right! Lemme fix that for you 😉

 A photo file has come attached to this text, and Ichiban can’t suppress a shiver as he opens it with trepidation…

Well, he has to admit that Majima sure knows how to take a picture: he sees Majima in front of a mirror, completely naked, holding a camera in one hand and his cock in the other, long and slender, almost like it’s a sword.

What truly gets to Ichi - except, well, everything - is what little of Majima’s face he can see: since the frame’s aimed much lower, he can see only up to his lips, and yet the way those are parted, with Majima’s tongue sticking out like that…

 Ichiban begins furiously stroking his cock at the thought of those lips wrapped around it. If he looks down, he can almost see Majima blowing him; when his gaze meets Ichiban’s, he blinks weirdly. It takes Ichiban a moment to figure that he just winked.

 Well?

 Ichiban doesn’t know why, but he figures that he must be worried about what he thinks about the picture. Eh, cute.

 You’re so hot Majima-san. Wanna fuck your mouth

 At this point, Ichiban figures, being direct has to be the best option. In the meantime he keeps thinking about how Majima’s mouth must feel like. He must be so good at this stuff it would surely take him little to make him come.

 You say the sweetest things~

 Eheh, Majima liked it.

Ichiban gives himself a mental high five.

 Now that he’s put in his head the image of Majima blowing him, though, he cannot think of anything else. Did he fuck himself?

 If you want my mouth you’ll have to be good

 Ichiban can’t be more grateful of the fact that he’s alone, because he’d be most ashamed if someone had heard the moan that leaves his lips as he reads the text. Oh yes, he’d be so good, he wants to be good.

He begins to pick up the speed in the way he pulls at his cock, still with the image of Majima vivid in his mind.

 I’ll be good I swear

 It feels kinda awkward having to beg like this, via phone, but then the Majima in his head raises his eyes towards him and smirks, and Ichiban shudders, throwing his head back against the pillow.

Whatever feeling of awkwardness this might spark in him, it’s completely worth it, he thinks. Holy shit, how can Majima be so pretty and alluring in his head? Well, the true Majima is pretty and alluring as well, so it’s no brainer why he’s like that in his imagination too.

 Aw you’re so sweet. Tell ya what, since you’ve been so nice, I’d let you use my mouth

Don’t bother going slow I can handle it 😉

 Oh fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

 Ichiban bucks his hips up, pushing his cock further into his hand in what looks like a frenzy. God, he’s so close, and the fact that Majima sends him a little something doesn’t help.

It’s a video, a video that Ichiban opens immediately, eager and curious to see what Majima has in store for him. He’s not disappointed: sure, he could say something about the fact that apparently Majima owns a bright pink dildo - though somehow that’s not surprising at all - but any thought Ichiban might have about that dies before being even born as he watches Majima leaning closer and taking the entire thing in his mouth in one go, and we’re not talking about a small thing either, because that dildo is big, maybe even bigger than Ichiban’s dick.

 Like what you see? 😉

Fukc Majia-sna..

 Ichiban’s too in over his head to spell correctly, and thankfully Majima doesn’t point out his typos, taking instead delight in them.

 Close aren’t ya?

Yeah…

 He is embarrassingly close.

It almost makes him want to send Majima a text to justify himself - usually he lasts longer than this - but he can’t be bothered. All he wants is to come.

 Have you been good enough to come though?

How about you show me how close you are?

 What does he mean?

 Know how to send a video?

 Ooooh that’s what he means.

Holy shit, is Ichiban really gonna do it though? Well, didn’t he accidentally send Majima a dick pic already? At least this time it would be intentional.

His hand shakes as he finds the button to press to begin recording, and he can’t stop the light trembling even after he presses it; he hopes Majima doesn’t mind the lousy quality of his recording.

He tries not to show his face, because that would be too embarrassing for him, instead opting to frame only his dick, and the hand frantically moving around it of course.

“M-Majima-san… Please…” he finds himself muttering, desperate for release. Well, he could come and pretend he hasn’t via phone, but that thought doesn’t even cross Ichiban’s mind, too taken by this little game of theirs. Besides, he likes to be bossed around.

A bead of precum tickles down his shaft, getting his hand dirty, and Ichiban stops the video, sending to Majima, accompanied by a desperate caption.

 Majima-san pleas I can’t

 He shivers, feeling ever so close to reaching the peak, so much that he has to slow down his movements to the point that he has to stop entirely, gripping his cock right at the base, breathing heavily. He needs to calm down.

His phone rings, a picture from Majima.

He’s hard too, Ichiban can see it. Majima must be lying down, because he can see a small pond of precum on his stomach, where his cock is resting. What he’d give to touch it…

 I’m opening my mouth for you

Wanna taste ya

 Ichiban whimpers.

He can imagine it so vividly: Majima on his knees, lips spread open and tongue sticking out, eager to receive his semen…

 Majima-san I’m so close

Then come for me

 That’s all Ichiban needs to reach the peak.

He arches his back against the mattress as his body tenses, and he moans as he finally finds his release. He doesn’t stop moving his hand around his cock, trying to get this moment to last as long as he can.

Imagining himself coming on Majima’s face, rather than on his stomach, makes things even more intense. The Majima in his head barely bats an eye as he gets washed by Ichiban’s cum, with some landing on his tongue, and some landing on the rest of his face and even on his chest. Truly a sight to see…

 Only after he’s come down his high, and a weird sense of clarity settles inside his head, that he truly realizes how surreal this is: he sent a dick pic to the wrong person, only for said person turning out to be very into it, resulting into them masturbating to each other’s texts. Is Ichiban sure this isn’t just a dream?

When he receives another text from Majima, he knows for sure that no, it’s not a dream at all.

 You there?

Yeah

Sorry, it was… a lot

I bet it was!

Did you come?

 In response, Ichiban sends him a picture of his dirty hand. A bit crude perhaps, but it sends the message well.

 I see👀

Did you come?

Close

 Oh, should Ichiban return the favor? Seems fair, right?

 I can help you with that

And how would you help me?

 He’s interested.

Alright Ichiban, show him what you’ve got.

 I could fuck you

Would you now? And you think I’d let you?

 Yeah, Ichiban’s being bold, but he’s willing to take this gamble, because it’ll be worth it in the end.

 Haven’t I been good enough?

Dunno. Have you?

 Should Ichiban really go for it?

Yeah, yeah he should.

 No offense, but you seem like the kind of person who’d enjoy being fucked

 Majima takes a while to respond, which worries Ichiban. Did he get upset? Did Ichiban offend him?

He’d feel bad if he did, since that wasn’t his intention at all, but he’d lie if he said that he wouldn’t like to fuck Majima! He was just trying to be honest…

His phone beeps then, finally, startling Ichiban so hard that he almost drops it, but he doesn’t.

It turns out - much to Ichiban’s pleasure - that he hadn’t offended him at all, and that Majima was actually getting ready to show him a little something, namely a pretty picture of himself, with his left legs raised to give him a perfect view of the bright pink dildo from before going right up his… o-oh.

Holy shit that’s a pretty view. It makes Ichiban’s mouth water.

 Holy shit

Like it?

Goddamn I do

I wish I was there

You wouldn’t need that at all

How so? 😉

I’d have to open you up at first

With my fingers

Mmmh I like that

You’ve got thick fingers

 Ichiban looks at his hands. He never really thought about it but yeah, he’s got thick fingers indeed.

 I’d start with two already, getting things moving faster

I like how you think

Keep going

 Does he really? Ichiban has a hard time imagining him jerking off to what he’s writing, but hey, if it works it works.

Now the only problem is: how can he get to write everything down without cringing as he does it?

He supposes he’ll have to make his imagination work harder than ever. Maybe if he gets into it it’ll help him get in the mood.

Ok, Ichiban, you can do this: just imagine what you’d do to Majima. You’ve got two fingers in him already, what else?

 I’d go slow and deep

I want to explore every single inch of you

 For a moment Ichiban closes his eyes, imagining the scene.

 I’d begin biting at your thighs to see if I’d be able to make you squirm

Biting, I like it

 What Ichiban would give to be there with Majima. He wants to see his actual reaction to this, not just read what he says.

 Then I’d get a third finger in you and I’d go fast, until all you’d think about is how much you want my cock

I already want your cock

So get on with it

 Ichiban ponders if he really should move things along, but if Majima wants it already, he supposes he’d give it to him. He’s a people pleaser after all.

 Then I’d pull my fingers away, but before doing anything I’d spread your cheeks and I’d lick you to get you nice and wet

Go on

Then I’d slowly begin to get my cock inside you, inch by inch

You ass why would you go slow?

Because I want to feel you Majima-san

I want to feel you open up for me as I slowly make my way inside

But then once I’m inside, I wouldn’t even wait before beginning to fuck you

And this time I wouldn’t go slow at all

Good finally

I would hold back nothing and push and pull until I can feel your hole twitch around me

Like you want to milk me

Yeah I’d definitely do that

Only then I’d begin to jerk you off

Fuck

Hold it tightly

 Somehow Ichiban had already figured out he’d be into that.

 I’d find the spot that makes you scream, and I’d ram it with all I’ve got until it becomes oversensitive

Until you come

But I wouldn’t stop until I’ve milked every single drop out of you

Your balls are gonna be empty by the time I’m done with you

 Ichiban waits, and he waits, and he waits again, but Majima doesn’t say anything, and frankly speaking he has no idea how to continue this. Is he supposed to describe what happens next too?

 Majima-san are you here?

Fuck kid

 Oh thank god.

 Been a while since I nutted this hard

Did you come?

Hell yeah I did

You’re not bad at this, you know that?

Really? This is my first time actually having to write stuff

 He’s become acquainted with nudes, but he never tried something like this, or at least nothing of this scope. He doubts the flirtatious texts he exchanges with his fuckbuddy count.

 No kidding

You should begin writing smut. Might make it a nice career

You flatter me Majima-san

 Besides, would he really be able to do it?

Though if the pay isn’t bad, he might think about it…

He shakes his head. Now’s not the time to get lost in his head.

So, what should he write now? Thank you for making me come? Nah, that doesn’t sound good at all, so he goes for a different approach.

 We should do it again sometimes

 He doesn’t know what has possessed him to be this bold, but after all that has happened, can you blame him? Majima is into it as much as he is after all.

 Hell yeah!

Tell ya what, next time I’m in town, I’ll come find you

And have a taste in person 😉

 A shiver runs through Ichiban’s spine as he thinks of all the things they could do if they actually get to meet. It sounds dangerous, but also exciting.

Oh yes, he can’t wait.

 It’s a date

[telaraneas]

I’m sending you an analysis ask!! My ask is… Dave! What I always wonder about dave is how he became such a fan favorite among the young fanbase all those years ago. I feel like my original reading of Dave has been heavily influenced by the fandom activity surrounding him at the time (he was the 2012 hs fandom’s #1 sadboy). As a relative latecomer to the fandom, what were your reactions to Dave? And how do you feel today’s fans view him?

OH BOY DAVE!!!

yeah i remember he was a big fan favorite, because this was one of the things you knew if you just EXISTED in tumblr around 2012, even if you knew nothing about homestuck you jsut saw a billion fanarts of that one kid with the sunglasses. but really, "relatively latecomer" relative nothing, i am a brand new baby fan latest of latecomers and i will happily give you my Dave Experience

i can't speak for how other modern fans view him, but for me personally, honestly i have to say i think i really didn't Get Him until late act6; which isn't to say he wasn't an interesting character before then, but that almost everything interesting about him went over my head on the first read.

i think my issue was partly that i was taking his facade mostly at face value and that i didn't really get WHERE his angst was coming from in the ocassions it popped up. like.. it's not that i bought into the idea that he's this cool ironic guy who doesnt afraid of anything, but i guess mostly his typing style and sense of humor were a bit too true-to-life for what the kind of person who thinks "ironic enjoyment of shitty things, too cool to actually care about anything, troll the shit out of anyone who engages with you honestly" is peak comedy actually speaks like, which made him kind of an unpleasant presence to me at the beginning; knowing he was definitely using that irony to cover up something didn't really help, because that's just universally true of basically everyone who's Like That, and that doesnt make them any less insufferable

the thing about dave strider is that he actually keeps up the disaffected cool kid act for a looooong time, and with so much going on and so many characters and stories to think about, i never spared him as much thought as i could have... until act6 happened, and dave was revealed to be a massive dork, and that SERIOUSLY changed my understanding of him as a character. like it's really hilarious how much his early arc persona totally falls apart when you take away the comfort of text-based communication. the addition of body language and the loss of the fractions of a second to formulate answers REALLY change his dialogue and how he reads as a character in ways that are subtle but were kind of shocking to me when i was reading it

like, for example i never had the patience for his long random tangents in chatlogs because i got the feeling he was doing them because he was just that sure that whatever he was on was THAT witty and funny, or alternatively, NOT that witty or funny, which is why he went on those tangents to be ~ironic~ or whatever, and tbh i have adhd and not enough patience to sit and read his diatribes

eeexcept, late comic dave recontextualizes the HELL out of this by revealing that no, HE KINDA REALLY DOES JUST GO ON TANGENTS FOR NO REASON 100% GENUINELY AND ITS NOT A CALCULATED PSEUDO-IRONIC THING AT ALL which makes his lenghty rambling read VERY differently

that sort of stuff. like, i was fully prepared for the irony to be a cover for someone who does genuinely care about things- but i was NOT prepared for the CONCEPT OF IRONY ITSELF to be basically the only thing about his demeanor that wasn't mostly genuine, whether dave himself realized it or not. dave has been a riot on rereads, hes like a totally different character with hindsight

on the topic of Dave Angst in specific, i have to admit- the whole thing is actually VERY subdued before late act6 unless you're actually looking for it and paying attention to dave as a character; and while i imagine this was a given for many readers at the time, who already liked him as a character and were reading and thinking about each update as it came out, to me as someone blitzing through the comic at a stage where things were starting to get complex, i COMPLETELY missed major moments that inform his problems, philosophy, worldview, fears, and general arc

because of this, a lot of the major moments where dave is actually OBVIOUSLY distressed or upset, left me mostly asking "hold on, what??? where did this come from, what is this about?????". to be fair, even back then i was pretty sure that there WAS something there that must have been set up earlier and i just missed it, but it was still kind of a confusing read. some specific examples: dave getting upset at terezi after the coinflip godtier timeline splitting debacle, his whole disjointed speech about the reluctant hero thing in the first meenah walkaround, his entire conversation with grimbark jade where he just states he's not time traveling again. those moments totally blindsided me on my first read

another moment that completely blindsided me, but which i actually Got on the first read regardless, was the long-awaited striderchat. i did not AT ALL expect the direction that went, but it did a fantastic job at recontextualizing what i had initially just accepted without question as a comically exaggerated videogamey home situation (not that much of a stretch when the final member of the party was raised by a dog in the middle of nowhere), into a traumatic enviroment that informs a lot of WHY dave is the way he is and why he used to think and approach the world the way that he did

other than that, theres a lot of Dave Angst i am still only just untangling on the reread because his anxieties sometimes stem from really esoteric ideas that i couldn't wrap my head around when i was busy trying to keep track of the billion plot threads of act5 which i was reading as fast as possible lol. but like, just earlier today i had the realization that dave's fear of death manifests MUCH more strongly in fear over being responsible over alt versions of him dying, than it does when his actual life is being directly threathened. dave would be susceptible to dumb thought experiments along the line of pascal's mugging, is what i'm saying, much more so than he would be to getting actually mugged.

tldr dave is an interesting character and i like him very much now, but boy did i not Get Him until recently

[enamored4]

ok i need 2 do a little rant here because 🙄🙄🙄 basically this guy on discord started hitting me up a while ago (he started messaging me around last november) and i only recently “fell” for him after realizing tht we share music and movie tastes and he sounded super nice and stuff. i was tipsy one day and called him a soulmate which i highly regret now. later he basically told me he was into me and i reciprocated and we started talking more, even video chatting a few times, and the most recent time we video chatted i got pretty high and spilled my guts, telling him about some of my deepest thoughts (my yearning for love, ideas on marriage/sex, my loneliness, etc.). basically i made myself extremely vulnerable, and this was only about a week after he told me he’s into me... way too soon, huh? i was hella flirty to him that night in a voice call w our friends, telling everyone i’d date him and that i think he’s cute and shit. surprisingly he did not stop talking to me after this and ig i should mention that he has a really good memory and remembers things i say which is like literally a bare minimum thing but since no guy ive talked to before has made an effort to actually listen to me it felt surreal and beautiful. now at this point i am thinking “wow, he actually is into me” but i was so stupid bc this is just fucking DISCORD and it’s likely not serious to him. he’s probably hitting up other ppl and like that’s totally normal and cool and what i would do too if i were actually acquainted with normal relationships/intimacy etc. but i lost my fucking cool because this felt so new and refreshing to me, when it[s JUST DISCORD. holy shit, i am so embarrassed........

to add fuel to the fire every time i would try to talk to him normally i would just go off into absurd tangents and say actual dumb shit and i was getting suuuuper self-conscious even tho i know im a queen. i could not act normal, period. i did the most childish thing ever a couple nights ago and msgd him like “omggg sry idk how to talk to guys xD plz tell me if i am annoying” and he didn’t reply even tho he was online. i got so fucking embarrassed at this that i deleted my entire side of our chatlog which dates back to like 2019 and then he asked me what was wrong on snap, acknowledging the message i’d sent (which means he’d ignored it). this made me super depressed which led me to overshare to him about my depression and then i realized that now he probably thinks im some psycho crazy bitch. i even deleted discord and snap out of embarrassment  *(but also mainly bc i was spending too much time on those things)

dudes like i fucking regret this so much. i should have never shared all those things with him which gave me a false sense of intimacy. i was obviously wayyy more into him than he is into me (though i thought otherwise since he’d been messaging me since last yr and i was always dismissive w my responses until just a couple wks ago). i know it;s literally not that serious sounding to anyone reading this but i genuinely felt like i’d met a soulmate. while i am annoyed at myself for being so naive and thinking this was something magical, i also realize tht i did nothing wrong and it’s normal to act stupid in front of ppl u like at first. if anything this has been a learning experience for me and now i will not give two shits about eboys who hit me up.  tbf this guy was nice and wanted to make sure i was ok so i honestly have nothing against him but also when he did not reply to my cringey childish message mentioned earlier it made me feel really fucking terrible about myself so yeah

also i h8 when guys take more than 5 mins to respond to msgs and on snap i was opening every message almost instantly or like a few minutes later while he took up to 30 mins sometimes and it was annoying sigh.... another detail that made me realize i was more into him than he was into me. ANYWAYS SOMEONE PLEASE COMFORT ME I AM SO EMBARRASSED THAT IVE LET AN EBOY MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY

[ao3feed-erasermight]

by that_queer_nerd

Class 2-A is dumb but it's okay because they all have eachother

Words: 709, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of 1 Braincell Squad

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi

Characters: Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Shinsou Hitoshi, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, Yagi Toshinori | All Might

Relationships: Midoriya Izuku & Everyone, Class 1-A/Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki/Class 1-A, Kaminari Denki & Class 1-A, Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou/Midoriya Izuku, Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Ashido Mina/Jirou Kyouka, Asui Tsuyu/Uraraka Ochako, Yaoyorozu Momo/Everyone, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Midoriya Inko/Yagi Toshinori | All Might

Additional Tags: Polyamory, Supportive Dekusquad (My Hero Academia), Trans Male Character, Trans Character, Nonbinary Character, Aromantic Asexual Iida Tenya, Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru, Mineta Minoru is Expelled from U.A. High School, Soft Bakugou Katsuki, Protectiveness, Chatlogs, Textfic, Crack, Fluff, Homophobia, Transphobia, Misogyny, Racism, Mina is black, Sero is Latino, Everyone Is Gay, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

[ardenttheories]

could you do a knight of void? please?? :'))

The Knight of Void is one who Exploits/Protects Void, or Exploits/Protects with Void, for the benefit of the team, which is Confusion, Uncertainty, Secrets, Irrelevance, the Void itself, the Unknown, Hidden things, and Doubt.

As a general rule of thumb, all Knights put up a facade that covers their feelings of feelings of inadequacy. While they don’t lack their Aspect, they often feel that they do, and thus try to present themselves as who they’d rather be. 

Of course, the Knight of Void complicates this somewhat. It’s a facade of Lack - a facade to cover up a lack of Lack. It doesn’t quite work, it sounds contradictory, and in some ways it is. So, how does this work?

The Knight may have no facade at all - rather, they have what other people perceive as a facade. Their true Self is right there in view, perfectly open and willing, but everyone mistakes it for a show, and therefore it always goes under the radar. It can be a very lonely existance if everyone assumes that you’re someone you’re not - especially when you’re being nobody but yourself.

On the other hand, the Knight may put up a facade of sheer confidence, of someone who knows everything, someone with booksmarts and a place in the world - all to hide the fact that they have no idea what the fuck is going on. They’re so aware of the Irrelevant that they begin to worry that maybe they’re Irrelevant, too, and it eats away at them until they become desperate to front as someone with Importance. 

In truth, they can be Withdrawn and quiet. They’re very subtle people, and when their facade isn’t in place - or, in the first instance, just all the time - they tend to slip easily into the background. It can be hard to remember that they’re even there, and people might find that the Knight sneaks up on them without meaning to, simply because they just… forgot that the Knight existed.

In that sense, people might even struggle to remember the Knight’s name. Like they’re always getting it wrong, or that it’s just on the tip of their tongue, they should know it, but they just don’t.  

They’re wonderful at keeping Secrets, and likely have no desire to share the Secrets they know at all - and would initially be very unwilling to Exploit them. 

They would be filled with Doubt and Confusion over their actions. They’d struggle to figure out if what they’re doing is right, if it has meaning, if everything is completely Meaningless; they’d worry that they have no place in the world, with their friends, in the session - and this, admittedly, is likely what causes the facade in the first place.

They’re so terrified of being forgotten that they either try to cover themself up with a personality that can’t be forgotten (yet still is anyway), or they try to be themselves as much as they can so that their genuine personality can win out in people’s minds (yet it never does). 

It’s a knock to their confidence that likely has the Knight struggling from day one. Even if they started getting into the swing of things - the way most Knights do, leading forward and taking on a fairly immediate role - they might still worry that they’re not enough, not good enough, not doing enough. 

The irony is, of course, that they’re more than competent Players. 

They can Exploit anything that is Hidden or Unknown - such as Secrets that might be able to topple a dynasty, or a legendary item that actually exists but is lost in some dark, cavernous place. 

They can Exploit the Void itself, and the ambiguity that comes from it. Becoming invisible, or turning other Players invisible, by making them Irrelevant is a big part of that - but so is Exploiting the Void that exists within someone, the ways that they don’t Matter or Lack. 

They can Exploit that a weaker Player is always ignored by giving them an item of extreme importance, thereby keeping it Hidden in plain sight. They can Exploit Irrelevancy to make someone like the Black King mean nothing in the overarching Importance of the game, thereby making it easier to win - because the game would recognise him as an Optional Boss rather than a Required Boss.

They could Exploit Void in incredibly potent ways, such as by Voiding out people or things - quite literally using the Void to keep them Hidden from view - or by using the Void itself to forge Hidden pathways and shortcuts throughout their Lands. There might be some areas that are just so Unimportant that the Knight can Exploit their Irrelevancy, making them hubs of activity for Players that will always go under the radar. 

In an admittedly ironic twist of events, it might turn out that the Knight’s friends are just… incredibly nosy. They always try to figure out things that they shouldn’t, things that might make them suffer if they ever Knew about it. Some of the Knight’s Exploitation of Void (and subsequent Protection with it) could just be Hiding things from other Players that would drive them mad or Grimdark. Some things just shouldn’t be known; some things are best left in the Darkness to fester and rot.

Additionally, they’d be master blackmailers. On top of Protecting Secrets, they can Exploit them, too - so, imagine someone who knows every dark Secret you’ve ever tried to keep close to your chest. Now imagine you’re going to go to something dumb, and the Knight threatens to tell everyone that thing you’ve never, ever wanted anyone to know. Needless to say, the Knight wouldn’t have to try hard to stop Players from doing bad things. 

They could (potentially) Exploit Grimdarkness. While definitely not guaranteed (and very dangerous), the Knight could harness the power of Grimdarkness with complete mental control. We’ve already seen the sort of power Rose and Eridan wield when the Void and Horrorterrors take control - so you can surely imagine how powerfully destructive the Knight of Void would be when they Exploit the Grimdarkness to have their own will in tact throughout it. 

Despite how flashy they can be, they prefer to work from the Shadows, silent and Unseen. Even in combat, they always attack first, and the battle is often over before it’s even begun. 

They can likely Exploit Darkness, too, and weaponise it in some way. Perhaps that means by using Darkness to cover up giant holes for enemies to fall down, or by using Shadows to make a room look like it’s filled up by more people than it actually is. They may even be able to twist Shadows around to look like terrible creatures - though they probably couldn’t make the creatures come to life. A Shadow is, after all, just a Shadow - a lack of Light. 

On top of that, there may be a Hidden skill which is specific only to the Knight. It would likely unlock with Godtiering, and there’s quite literally anything it could be - so long as it’s Hidden within them until they truly need it. This might be a very special, very powerful fraymotif, one that they don’t need to pay for to unlock, or an ability that isn’t actually Void-related at all.

Or, maybe it is Void-related, and they can just create supermassive blackholes. That’s an Exploitation of nothing on a massive scale. 

Naturally, there’s much smaller abilities that are specific to them - such as Voidstepping. I’d honestly say it’s exactly what Flashstepping is, except the Knight is Exploiting the Void to step through Hidden paths rather than just going really, really fast. One moment they’d be there - the next, gone. 

All of this, of course, would be to Protect Void or to Protect their team with Void. They’re well aware that there’s very little Void that exists within their session, and that it’s fading fast; that if they’re not careful, there will be absolutely no Void left at all. In trying to Protect their friends, therefore, they Protect Void as well; using it as much as they can to increase (ironically) its Importance in the session. 

The Knight always represents that which the session lacks - which makes the Knight of Void a very interesting Player. There’s an extreme lack of Doubt, Confusion, Uncertainty, Irrelevance, of Hidden things - which sounds very useful, until you realise that it means the Players are literally always exposed.

As much as there’s nothing hidding from the Players’ sight - Quests that are much more obvious and easier, Denizens that are already awake and willing to talk, Consorts that are much more coherent - there’s nothing to hide the Players, either. Derse Royalty will always know where the Players are at any given time, making it much easier for them to launch concentrated attacks on underlevelled Players - and try strategising against an enemy that already knows your next five moves.

There might be a leak in their chatlogs, meaning that literally nothing is a Secret. Players can find out dirt on other Players at the drop of a hat, and that can obviously cause a significant amount of tension. 

It would also be detrimental to the growth of the Players if everything is just… so straightforward. Part of SBURB’s struggles comes from trying to work everything out, having to take time, learning and growing as people because you’ve experienced a thousand new things. If all the information is right there, there’s no need to grow, to experience those things; Players can just waltz right up to their Denizens without earning it, and they’ll be awful Gods at the end of it as a result.

As a much more interesting thought, and one that can be taken any way you like, this probably means that something very weird or very wrong is happening with the Incipisphere. It is a place of Void - of Confusion and Unknowing and Hidden things - and yet this is a session that explicitly lacks Void, including in a literal sense.

There might be something in the Medium that means the Void doesn’t work as it’s meant to - some Light-based anomaly that completely ruins how everything runs. Maybe it isn’t intentional, maybe it is; maybe this is some threat to the session like LE is. Whatever the case, it ensures that there is little to no Hiding space because everything is cast in a radiant Light.

This makes the session more vulnerable to outside attacks. This also makes it much harder to traverse the Void itself, because while all the pathways through it might be more obvious and straightened out, there’s doubtlessly Things lurking in the remaining Darkness that can likewise see the Players much easier. That, or the Light-based anomaly will send Beasts after the Players that Know exactly where they will be. 

Once they’ve become Realised, the Knight of Void… doesn’t actually change much. And it’s mostly because a Knight becomes Realised when they realise they don’t need to have their facade up all the time, that they’re good and worthy of wielding their Aspect.

If they never had the facade to begin with, the only true difference is that they’re more accepting of who they are. They let themselves be awash with Confusion, and understand that sometimes there’s going to be things that even they don’t know. They’re happy and content to just let things be, to let themselves fade into the background, to be an observer more than a participant.

By this point, people will notice them unless they don’t want to be noticed - it’s the natural confidence that comes with accepting that you know what you’re worth things. They’re more than likely to have a few good friends that know exactly who they are, and try to get them involved wherever they can. 

It just means that, instead of trying to push the Knight to “be the real them” or the Knight trying so hard to be noticed, everyone involved is much happer to let the Knight slip away if they have to. There’s no hurt feelings, and everyone knows that the Knight loves them still. 

They’ll accept that they are good at and know a lot of things, and that they can’t be great at everything; that Irrelevancy exists, and there’s some ways that they are Irrelevant, but more ways that they’re Important, too. They might never make it into office, or become the most powerful, popular Player, but they’re Important to their friends - they’re Important to that little old lady down the street when they bring her the newspaper each morning - and in some ways that’s enough. 

They don’t need to be Seen. Once they take that pressure off, that’s when they can really live. They’ll keep doing everything from the Shadows, content with who the are, and they’ll live for all the things that Matter to them - no matter how big or small. 

Of course, they’ll still be quiet, still a bit reserved and shy, but they’ll also be more open. If they had no facade, then people will start to see that this really is who they are, and that the Knight (ironically) never once Lied. Despite this, their relationship dynamics will change; people will stop trying to pry in to find this Self that doesn’t exist, and the Knight will be able to realise that, yes, that really is who they’ve been all along

If they did have a facade - well, they’ll drop it, and they’ll feel sheer relief at the fact that a thousand eyes aren’t on them all the time. They’ll accept that Irrelevancy is part of their life and get rid of the people who are Irrelevant to them. There’s no point wasting time on people who don’t Matter, or on a facade that never Mattered to begin with.  

Essentially, they just become more confident in who they are and what they do. 

As an added extra thought for narrative relevance, since that’s been on the blog a lot lately:

They’re Unseen, capable of doing a thousand things without anyone ever knowing it. In a comic like Homestuck, this would probably mean that the Knight is someone we often can’t be, and then when we are, they just… show that they’ve done things off-screen that we’ll never be able to see. They work specifically out of our point of reference, and do Nothing at all when we’re watching them.

[judesowndaughter]

| starter for @ghostinhumanshape |            Fluorescent lamps cast red paper hearts in waxy sheen. Every available inch of the dorms is festooned with Valentine’s-themed garlands, stray balloons, and ceiling decorations: an RA’s worst nightmare. But this is an arts college---self-expression reigns supreme, so students are free to deface the dormitory as they please. Kate’s stomach twists with every corner turned, a labyrinth of pinks and purples and reds pasted to the wall, crusting over drab white paint. It’s obscene.       The world keeps turning on its axis of apathy, students flitting like mayflies to the next major holiday completely unaware of two missing girls. The upwelling of goodwill has long since dried up, the tragedy of a friend of a friend too distant to really matter beyond the scope of a few hours. Soft clunk of snack food hitting the bottom of the vending machine. Crackling of plastic bag ripped open, and a basic animal curiosity forces Kate to look behind her. Some hungry student rummages around the inside of the bag for food, wolfing down the contents. Kate freezes like a deer in the headlights; cutesy bubble lettering impressed on the bag reads off Hannah’s favorite snack. Kate has to bite her tongue to keep composed.       Smartphone screen blazes to life as gray banner blares Josh’s last text. Wool scarf itches her chin as gloved fingers clunkily type ‘ am outside dorm ’. The cold wet air drapes heavily over exposed skin the second she steps outside, the campus blanketed by snow. Lungs tie Kate down with the force of two lead weights, anxiety seizing stuttering breaths. Kate’s pressing rewind in her mind, struggling to glean what she can from 3 AM conversations absent Josh’s tone and expression---tragedy and texts never mix. Reading through their chatlog is almost criminally cliche: two little rich kids trying to finesse their way out of fear. Beth would call bullshit and slap some sense into the both of them; that’s what siblings are for.       But Beth isn’t here, so Kate has to pick up the slack.       The campus suffers no shortage of people, but Kate can pick Josh out of a crowd any day. Treads of her boots skid a little on icy pavement, but Kate finds her footing to run up and greet Josh. More child than woman, Mark’s prior chiding brushes her conscience, but she can’t bother to feel self-conscious. It’s not fair to pretend in front of family.          ❝ Josh! ❞  she calls, lump forming in her throat from the sight of him. It’s premature---she doesn’t ask, and maybe that’s selfish of her---but she can’t help but wrap Josh up into a hug. For him, for him, is her justification, ear pressed against his chest to listen to his heart. The top of her head can’t clear his shoulders, and her arms too skinny for a bear hug; it’s an absurd, messy picture she’s painted. But it’s real, it’s warm, it’s alive.        ❝ Hey, ❞  Kate mumbles into the mass of clothing and brother all mixed together,  ❝ Hi. Hello. Hi. I missed you. Poutine doesn’t taste the same when you’re not around. ❞       It’s stupid, so stupid. But somebody has to reassure him that he still has one dumb, sappy sister to pester.

[claws-on-spec]

Konyyl ==> Get a Vest (And don’t die.)

Chatlog under cut!

Konyyl Okimaw: this is late but hey hi Konyyl is coming to the garden XD

Polypa Goezee: Polypa's just chilling there with New Vest

Konyyl Okimaw: Konyyl will yell hello because she has no other volume. Excited Big Gal, she has had such a good few nights.

Polypa Goezee: Polypa, nearly falling out of the tree she climbed but playing at nonchalant as she jumps down

Konyyl Okimaw: Konyyl offers her a handshake and a grin.

Polypa Goezee: And Polypa takes it, if a little less you know. Big. She's a reserved girl.

Konyyl Okimaw: Shake shake. Konyyl just straight up pulls her vest off and captchalogues it in preparation

Polypa Goezee: And Polypa uncaptchalogues new vest

I imagine it's probably just. Really sturdy, deep olive denim? Polypa took the time to distress it in places and then sew in patches underneath to keep the integrity of the garment. It has pockets, and zippers. Leather pull tabs. She clearly worked non stop on this.

Konyyl Okimaw: Konyyl actually yells in excitement. Just like, "WHOAH THAT'S SO COOL" Konyyl Okimaw: all restless and wiggly in excitement, girl cannot sit still

Polypa Goezee: "I didn't put your sign on it, since if the rumors of your career are true, i imagine you wouldn't want that anywhere you can't cover. Go ahead and try it on?"

Konyyl Okimaw: "thats really THOUGHTFUL THANKS"

And she pulls it on, and keeps turning to try to admire herself. Grabbin it to feel the texture, examining the craftsmanship, she's delicate so she doesn't fuck anything up.

Polypa Goezee: And there it is, the moment Polypa falters in her original plan to kill Konyyl when her guard was down. She just. Pauses for a second before leaning against the tree and crossing her arms.

"looks like it fits * i'm glad *|"

Konyyl Okimaw: "yeah it FITS and i LOVE IT its so STURDY youre really good at SEWING"

Still examining, but now she's posing a little for Polypa. "how do i LOOK?"

Polypa Goezee: "it's what i do * i would hope i'm good at it *|"

and she takes a moment to really appraise how it fits

"you look good * the distressing was a good choice * suits you *|"

Konyyl Okimaw: "usually it takes me perigees to get it looking this GOOD" "how did you do it so FAST?"

Poor Konyyl does not understand distressing, but is very obviously pleased with how it looks.

"and how much do i OWE YOU?"

Polypa Goezee: "lots of practice *|"

and she genuinely has to think for a second, she did not anticipate konyyl being alive and willing to pay her

"oh * let's say 20 caegars? * it was a fairly simple pattern all things considered *|"

Konyyl Okimaw: "thats so LITTLE" Konyyl frowns for the first time she has since she got here.

"i see stuff like this at STORES" "and its always so much MORE"

...Time for her to dig in her sylladex for a second, and then pull out at least twice that, if not more. She doesn't count, counting is for nerds.

"HERE" "you did really GOOD"

Polypa Goezee: "i did practically ask to do it * as opposed to you coming to me *|"

Polypa does in fact count it, and measures out the asked-for amount.

"thanks * i'm pretty happy with how it turned out * and i'm glad you like it * always good to reach a new audience *|"

Konyyl Okimaw: Konyyl almost looks sad that she's being handed money back, but she does take it. Stuffs it back in her dex in no particular way.

"im really happy TOO" "next time ill ASK" "maybe 'daja will want something once he sees how COOL I LOOK"

Polypa Goezee: "maybe he will * i'd be happy to do something for him too * usually i'm in cosplay but normal clothes are always a nice change of pace *|"

She's actually smiling a little now. She's just... so genuine...

Konyyl Okimaw: A big grin again, for the other oliveblood. Konyyl reaches out and pats her on the shoulder, all friendly and shit. (If Polypa doesn't dodge her hand, that is.)

"sounds GREAT" "ill message you again LATER" "have a great LIGHT"

Polypa Goezee: "you too *|"

she's too busy being surprised at how nice konyyl is being to dodge. she's gotten patted.

Konyyl Okimaw: One more smile from the big dumb, and then a wave and she's heading out. She's still marveling at the vest as she walks, looking down at herself and messing with the pockets. Polypa Goezee: she's so cute... what the fuck....

[b1uecandlehomestuck]

OH GEE. I WONDER WHY THE PERSON WITH THE TITLE OF "FEFERI DEFENSE FORCE" PUT FEFERI IN S TIER. REALLY QUITE THE MYSTERY.

I mean, c’mon, what am I gonna do, not put her in the highest tier?

Again, mind you, this list isn’t a wholly objective ranking of the characters. Personal bias comes into play too, hence why Eridan’s in F despite not really being as bad as the other F-tiers.

I’m fully aware of how dumb it might sound, but I really love Feferi and connect to her a lot despite Hussie’s abuse of her. Throughout the story, she has far more potential than any other character in terms of personality and story content, but even when she’s doing massive things like creating the dream bubbles, she gets shafted and it’s mentioned in one or two pages. She has so much potential power that we literally never get to see, so many issues we never get to see resolved; she’s practically a mutant in the fact that she’s so benevolent, such as not getting that instinctive urge to kill when she sees Meenah and even liking her at first glance. There’s also the fact that all of her Sgrub enemies were the size of fucking cities, every fucking imp, and she was completely capable of handling that on her own. The fact that we never see her fight is such a crime. Not accounting for god-tier powers, Feferi is easily the strongest character in the comic aside from the main antagonists. If Game Over Terezi was going to bring anyone back, it should’ve been the troll who was capable of fighting thousands of city-sized monsters completely on her own.

Also, personality-wise, she’s great. I enjoy the fact that most people portray her as being “cute innocent harmless feferi” when she’s fully capable of showing some spine, but again, this is going by a small handful of chatlogs because Feferi only gets to be involved in maybe a dozen throughout the entirety of the comic. Even the other dead trolls get more air time than her through sprites or Sollux’s half-dead form, her sprite form is intentionally silent and gets completely shafted to make Davesprite.

You get the point, I’m obsessed with her.