#dude was so weird

[musclem3m0ry]

One time this guy I went to rehab with in 2014 was still trying to hit me up almost ten years after our first and last interaction asking me to come visit him and other dumb shit and he was not taking the hint of me saying 'No thanks, I'm married' and 'I'm not interested in that actually' and I knew he was one of those people who reads into everything to make it about him so i posted We Will Not Be Lovers by the Waterboys on my Instagram story and after viewing it, as i knew he would, he unfollowed me on both Instagram and Snapchat

[edlucavalden]

Learning to eat with your hands.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Into the pit Jeff and Mike finally sleep together in FNAF..

[mearchy]

The best fics are the ones that recognize that although Luke Skywalker may APPEAR on the outside to be a normal friendly twink who happens to have cool powers, especially when contrasted with such ship partners as Boba or Din or even Han, he is arguably the scariest person alive in the galaxy around the prequel era. AND, crucially, he is also a fundamentally weird guy. This man was homeschooled on a rural farm his entire life and then apprenticed to a swamp gremlin who showed him how to tap into the cosmic power of the universe. He blew up the death star age 19, killing approx 2 million-ish Imperials. He is a vortex of Force power that can communicate with the ghosts of dead Jedi. He’s staring into the distance and mumbling to himself and doing Yoda aphorisms and casually pulling out the “yeah I could crush that guy into a paste with my mind (:” and nobody around him knows what to do with that. I think he is a character who has very little frame of reference for how a Jedi or a person in general is supposed to act and there is some thing about him that is by necessity really fucking weird and a little scary but he’s so nice that it can throw you off the scent a little bit. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[radiance1]

Danny: Hey, I need you to be my boyfriend for a week.

Jason: What.

Danny: My parents are coming over and I've apparently accidentally talked about a partner more than once and only realized when they said they wanted to meet them.

Jason, currently still solidifying his power as a Crime Lord: Excuse me?

Danny: Let me get this out of the way, I do not consider you at all a person of romantical interest and a friend. But I need you to act as my partner for only a week until my parents go on their merry way over to my sister, okay?

Jason: Is there, quite literally, no one else to ask this?

Danny: You're my only friend who lives in Gotham, plus we share the same apartment.

Jason: That's almost sad.

Danny: You in?

Jason: Sure, why not.

===

Maddie: Danny, honey.

Danny: Yes mom?

Maddie: I don't mean to.... question, who you choose as your parent but. Well, me and your father was just wandering if he was a... [Maddie gestures with her hand] you know, one of those.

Danny, uncomprehendingly staring at his mother's hand: What.

Maddie: Oh dear, how do I bring this up. You know, one of those.

Danny: Mother I need more context.

Jack: If your boyfriend a crime lord!?

Maddie: Jack!

Jack: What? Beating around the bush wasn't helping!

Danny: Say WHAT?

===

Danny: Hey dude, thanks for helping with this even though you didn't need to!

Jason: No problem, I wasn't doing anything too [Crime Lord activities flash through his mind] important.

Danny: Can you believe my parents thought you were a crime lord though? Weird am I right?

Jason:

Danny: Jason. You are scaring me.

Jason: Haha, yea that's weird isn't it?

Danny: Jason.

Jason: Well, I have to leave now to attend to my totally real and totally not crime related job at the ice cream shop.

Danny: [Squints eyes]

Jason: [Internally sweating bullets]

Danny: Suuuuure, bring me back some ice cream though.

Jason: [Thumbs up and leaves]

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

reading a book with a medieval setting and i was v excited for it BUT these characters have such modern hangups about touch and personal space that i keep forgetting it's meant to be the fourteenth century. lads. get in bed together, it's cold.

[boimgfrog]

People are so scared of polyamory but it's normal as hell. Like it should not be this complex of a topic 4 people. Literally ur just dating more than one person. Or more than two people are dating each other. It's not some crazy concept like oh my god it's just a different way of dating

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

So @lloydskywalkers made a post and I laughed so hard for so long and couldn't stop thinking about it so thanks for bringing me joy lloydskywalkers bro have ten seconds of absolute nonsense

[voice work done by me too pls do not repost/reuse audio]

[fungi-maestro]

Happy tdov to fat trans people. 🏳️‍⚧️ Biggest thing that helped me as a trans kid was seeing older fat trans people. There were a lot of really irritating "advice" posts going around early in my time on the internet with a lot of misinformation in them, but one that I constantly saw (in addition to people claiming you should wear your pants rediculously low or only wear button ups) were posts saying you had to lose weight to transition. Can confidently confirm that is completely untrue. 👍

[lucdoodle]

Oh man the Buggy wink scene!! I had to draw it!

[lucabyte]

A belief in Nominative Determinsim

[royalarchivist]

Slimecicle: Whoever said "yaoi is dead" dude, I think you need to put on your freakin'– your bi-focal lenses. Anything's possible.

💗💜💙

[hallowshumour]

I'm kinda like if a condemned radio tower started broadcasting weird signals out of nowhere but as a guy 📡🎙📶🛰

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 211

The figure looked down at Billy. Billy looked up at the figure awkwardly from where he was digging through a trash can. 

“Um… I can explain!” 

Okay he honestly couldn’t, and instead threw a bag at them and booked it like his life depended on it. Which it might! Living in Fawcett meant that there were magical entities everywhere, even if they looked human, and he wasn’t going to get stolen by some fae! 

…

And they caught him. Great. He’s going to die now or get thrown back into foster care- huh? Food? They’re offering- no no, this is some fae bullshit, isn’t it! … But he’s also hungry, so maybe it’ll be worth it…

[hajihiko]

Turn into an oyster that's productive

[egophiliac]

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE" As someone who's been playing TWST since march and stopped going out of my way to be spoilerfree after I got stuck at Overblott!Jamil? That's honestly been one of my favorite things about it - seeing something in fanart or a comment you think is just fans joking, only for it to be canon. "The economy!", "May I also throw a tantrum?", Malleus' gargoyle thing, and... everything about Rook being my top examples.

there's a whole bit in Trey's platinum birthday card where he goes on about how he became increasingly obsessed with mustard for like a week straight until the other students held an intervention. how are you supposed to talk about this. how can you bring up something like Trey's descent into mustard obsession to the point that the other characters are worried for him without it sounding like the most obvious lolrandom "he mentioned it once and now fandom acts like he puts mustard in everything" joke. also, how can I slip this into every Twst post from now on, because I need everyone in the world to know that this is a real canon fact about Trey "I'm just an average normal guy (who sticks my hands into people's mouths and owns 20 toothbrushes and used to eat flowers off the side of the road)" Clover.

for bonus points, 1) the punchline is that he still doesn't even like mustard that much, 2) he's saying all of this to Leona, and 3) Leona is actually kind of invested in Trey's mustard story for some reason, which is the most unbelievable part of all of this to be honest. (then Trey gets distracted by a painting of the Cheshire Cat and Leona takes the opportunity to powerwalk away to freedom before they can start talking about dijon versus spicy brown or whatever and extend this bit even longer)