#dude is so gay he created a brand new power

[beanghostprincess]

zoro doesn't have the conqueror's haki he has a secret one called the homosexuality haki and it works exactly when he wants to protect his captain

[punkpal]

Get To Know Me Better! (tag game)

@tidal-wav3s thanks for tagging me dude!!

Fav color: Lots of people get surprised when i say this but pink has and always will be my favourite colour.

Last song I listened to: Four Walls - While She Sleeps

Fav musicians/bands: God i have so many but the first few that come to mind are Parkway Drive, My Chemical Romance, Five Finger Death Punch, Green Day, Architects, All Time Low, A Day to Remember, Hellions, Slipknot, Secrets, Ocean Grove, Korn, In Hearts Wake, Awaken I Am, Whilst She Sleeps, Slowly Slowly, Young Lions, Trophy Eyes, The Plot In You, Queen, The Maine, Linkin Park, Hands Like House, AD/DC, Evanescence, Dream On Dreamer, Asking Alexandria, Crown The Empire, Camp Cope, Bring Me the Horizon, System of a Down, Disturbed, The Used, Brand New, Blink-182, Bad Omens, Tonight Alive, Stick To Your Guns and lots lots more. When i was putting together this list i was gonna make it a max of 10 bands but then i kept thinking of more and more and eventually i just had to stop otherwise this list would become novel length. Basically the consensus is i like lots of music and any of the band i reblog shit from are favs.

Last film I watched: Sicario and it was shit so take my word and don’t fucking bother.

Last tv show I watched: I just finished rewatching The Umbrella Academy season 1 to get myself psyched for season 2. I also just finished watching the netflix mini series documentary ‘Unabomber: In his own words’ which was pretty good. And I am also currently binging The Office (US) and am just starting season 8. 

Fav original character: So i am writing (admittedly mostly just in my head although a little less then a quarter has been written as a rough draft on a word doc) a rather length fantasy/vampire novel. Its part romance, part drama, part revenge fantasy, part anarchist vigilante revolution au and tbh part me just self projecting my trauma and dysfunctional life onto my characters... And whilst it likely will never see the light of day because of my lack of motivation to write the entire thing down and instead just reference it when i am day dreaming. I really vibe with the alternative universe as an escape from the real one i am living in and i have a vested interest in the characters i have created in it. And whilst there are numerous ocs from this that i have put an alarmingly long amount of time (literally years) into developing all of which i love and adore i do have two favourites. One named Taylor who is a gay 2946 year old idiot/himbo (vampire obviously). He is hot, sweet, kind, caring, funny, understanding, stubborn, the mum™️  friend, a romantic fool with a a hint of mummy issues and anger problems and a complete fucking allergy to guilt. And the other is his prodigy/person he turned vampire named Meredith. She is 354 year old hot mess and is kinda the opposite of him in that she is homicidal, manipulative, cunning, devious, fearless (almost to a fault), strong willed women. Who is very smart, has a strong/forward and somewhat off putting personality, low key a bit of a bitch but is very protective of those she loves and has good morals and the desire to right all wrongs even if through violent revenge if she sees fit. She is the leader of a criminal underworld revolution seeking to bring revenge and justice to the powerful and untouchable evils of the world. And he is her loyal side kick that lets her run the show as she is a natural born leader, but also works as a the voice of reason and logic to her. All the while having his own sub plot of being torn between chasing his love interest despite the danger it possesses. Or sacrificing his own desire for connection and love for fear of the consequences despite it meaning living a sad and eternally lonely life. Thats just a very brief summery of those two. They have a very close but complicated relationship with each other, like annoying siblings but imagine if you had to live with your siblings for centuries. And they all have there flaws (some more obvious then others) as well as dark, morbid and tragic histories but it makes them what the are today both the good, the bad and the downright problematic. And yeah i’d like to think one day i will write this out properly and others will read it and connect to or relate to these characters. Maybe love them, maybe hate them, maybe initially hate them, like is designed with Meredith, but come to truly love her once they begin to understand her and see her potential thats hidden under layers of ‘don’t fuck with me’. But until then they are my characters to play around with and build upon and thats exactly what i intend to do.

Sweet, spicy, or savory: Sweet!

Sparkling water, tea, or coffee: Can i say hot chocolate or juice?

Pets: Living with me is my son and best friend Gideon (he is a adult black male cat i adopted a year ago and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me.) Living with my sister is my family cat i grew up with named Maisey (she is a snobby fat cat with a beautiful coat and i love her although i don’t think she loves me/or anyone.) And then at my mums is her puppy Newfoundland Bentley (basically god combined a dumbass and a dog and made him) as well as my brothers turtle Pedro and my axolotl Voldemort (can’t fit his huge tank in my apartment so he stays with mum.)

I’m tagging: @bilvy @revradio @cxmeterydrxve @angryqueercrypted @prettyyy-boyyy @disenchanted-mona-lisa @burymeinpink @thotfrnk @r1ghtbackatitaga1n @solelll @gothbtchz @highhighhopless @re-imagine @x-give-em-hell-kid-x @greendayer @dramaticallydepressed @lyricsinmyblood-bloodinmylyrics & @imsopunkrxck obviously this isn’t a obligation, do this tag game only if you want. And if you weren’t tagged but wanna take part then do tag me in your own and i will read and like it as i love learning about my followers passions and interests!

[thejudgingtrash]

Now hold up I would personally love to hear a full rant on this supposed adaptation I have never heard of until now. Like, legitimately, I wanna know what you have to say about this cause you seem to be one of the most valid PJO blogs

Uhhh what??? Me one of the most valid PJO blogs??? What kinda crack have you been smoking WHAT afahsgjskdh.

But still thank you 😊🥺🙈

Alright, you wanted a rant. You got a rant. Fuck the positives let’s just straight up jump into my aggression.

WARNING: Massive rant with a lot of swear words. If you can’t handle the heat, feel free to ignore this. I personally haven’t worked in Hollyweird, but I had some behind the scenes stuff here in Europe going on for a short period and also the trusty words of my college professors. So here will be a lot of prediction and speculation involved. Yes, I know that I’m a huge hypocrite for voicing my opinions based on stuff that hasn’t been pushed through in months and that I could be easily proven wrong in a few weeks/months. Still thank you should you actually take the time to read through this tomfuckery.

If things are wrong, please DO correct me!

Links to further reads will be included partially.

TL;DR: Keep your hopes to a low, stop harassing people online and mAnAgE yOuR eXpEcTaTiOnS!!111!!

Okay. First things first:

DISNEY

DOESN’T

GIVE

A

SINGLE

FUCK

ABOUT

YOU

Disney is a fucking multi-billion dollar corporation with many, many, many studios, stations, brands and franchises worldwide. The Percy Jackson franchise is a dime in a dozen. Disney doesn’t give a single fuck about the PJO fandom in general.

Disney doesn’t give a fuck about you 20-something year old with your 9 year old blog discussing which toilet paper brand Percy uses. And Disney also doesn’t give a fuck about you 16 year old, writing the worst fucking Solangelo fanfic I’ve read so far on this hellsite. Like goddamn.

Trust me, they know you are interested. They know they got you hooked. They see the numbers, they see the like/reblog ratio, they see the Twitter engagement. They see you with #disneyadaptpercyjackson. They see the petitions, they see how excited you were for the musical. You don’t get to be a gigantic conglomerate like Disney with playing stupid.

Also to you fuckfarts saying oH nO I wOn’T wAtCh It I dOn’T cArE aBoUt NeW sTuFf. Congrats dipshit. You are STILL alerting followers and people about what’s happening and creating more buzz, giving more awareness and adding to the transaction costs. You really cheated the system, you little edgelord. Again:

You are nothing but a number. You are a fucking walking dollar bill. You are a consumer waiting for a new shiny product to fill the void in your life for 45 minutes weekly or by two hours at some point.

The PJO movies 1. & 2 happened for a reason. Because Fox saw a popular book series á la Harry Potter, Twilight (and The Hunger Games) and wanted a piece of that action. They wanted your fucking money. Them entirely fucking up and ignoring Riordan’s advice is on them of course. But still. The movies happened. (And also saw people saying they were flops. Reception wise: hell yes. They are awful adaptations (not per se awful movies, there’s a difference). But money wise?? They made together over 245 million dollars in profit. Of course, that isn’t today’s Marvel level but it’s still fairly decent. Also don’t forget that the second movie still got greenlit. Interest was still there despite part one. You disliking something doesn’t turn it into a flop)).

Again, Disney doesn’t care about you. THIS is what Disney cares about:

1. MONEY

2. PROFIT

3. ENGAGEMENT

4. TOTAL GROSS

5. CONVERSION RATES

11. …. “Artistry“

So in terms of money, we gotta speak about the on-going woke culture. You know, lgbtqia+ stuff, poc representation and all the good shit we want and need in our life, right?

Well, I got bad news for ya. Disney being money hungry has its massive downsides. Because where is the money? In the east. Well and what happens if we include the woke stuff? Possible censorships (even retroactively! You know Gravity Falls went through that), bans, etc.

So all of you talking about representation and artistic vision and being bold and brave and blablabla… Throw that into the fucking trash. We can probably be glad if we get Grover back as the token black kid and a few other minorities sprinkled here and there. Open gay Nico? Doubt it. Your afro-latino Percy head canon? Definitely keep that but unlikely to be realized. And also, if you think that Annabeth wouldn’t get turned into the blandest whitest “I dOn’T nEeD nO mAn“ radfem, I got some bad news for ya…

The likelihood of everything being dumbed down, toned down with the exception of a few adult jokes or being even partially censored (depending on certain regions) is very, very high.

Also what makes you think we’re even getting close to the Heroes of Olympus and Trials of Apollo saga? I doubt you will see The Seven for a long time unless Riordan really says fuck it and throws his final ace card into Disney’s filthy greedy mouth.

So if Disney doesn’t have the fandom’s interest at heart, what are they interested in? Well… MONEY. Also NEW engagement. They know your funky ass is going to tune in. They know people will pirate the shit (Me waving like a maniac), they all KNOW that. Again, they aren’t stupid.

So: MORE engagement. MORE money. How do we get even more engagement? By luring new people into the fandom. Who is most likely going to get lured into a family friendly show/movie series because let’s not forget that we’re talking about Disney+? The targeted audience of the books. Who is the targeted audience of the books? MIDDLE SCHOOLERS. 11 to 14 year olds. Disney wants those kids’ (well their parents’ hard earned) money. They want to sell products, in that case books + Disney Plus subscriptions + possible merch. There you also have the likely future rating for the fucking show. Sorry to disappoint everyone that was hoping for gritty Game of Thrones filled with 12 year olds (like seriously wtf?).

Now that that’s settled, let’s talk about the outlook on the show/movie and Riordan’s influence that you people clearly overestimate.

How much power or say does Rick Riordan actually have?

ZERO. ABSOLUTELY NONE.

He’s in the worst fucking lose-lose-situation you could imagine.

Disney owns the books and Fox owns the movie rights. Wait. Fox got bought. By whom you ask? DISNEY, what a coincidence! In Rick Riordan’s own words:

Disney has him by his fucking balls and could crush them at any minute. And if you think, that Disney is letting go of that sweet sweet intellectual property you are fucking mistaken. Riordan isn’t a J.K. Rowling who OWNS the Wizarding World. You have no idea what Disney are capable of with massive lobbying that goes so far to influence copyright laws in the States (LINK)

So you can stop harassing him about a fucking Netflix adaptation as well! Or petitions that do nothing but annoy people.

These negotiations take up YEARS to get the simplest stuff done. No need to shit your pants whenever Riordan’s tweeting stuff.

Still: would Disney be fucking mad to do this without him? Absolutely!

Should Disney involve him to prevent a PJO movie 2.0 scenario?

Yes, they definitely should!

But CAN Disney do this without him?

OF COURSE THEY CAN! THEY OWN EVERYTHING.

In Riordan’s own words:

Read carefully what he has written. He doesn’t say he’s going to halter productions, he’s saying HE WON’T BE A PART OF IT. This also makes me curious about WHO approached WHO in the first place (my guess Disney tried to make some amendments because Fox ain’t shit and trying to alienate the author again would be a goddamn stupid move). Disney has the fucking film rights. Of course they can pump out shit without involving him. They could pull a Fantastic Four (the awful 2015 version) just to keep the rights and for the fuck of it.

There are the following possibilities with Riordan’s involvement:

1. Riordan as a producer: Dude’s gotta be loaded. We know that. But backing the production costs many, many, many millions and I don’t know if he’s THAT loaded. Also film producing isn’t his forte.

2. Riordan as a screenplay writer: Now we’re getting closer to something. Yes, many productions these days have authors directly involved which is great! But also can go the other way around (J.K. Rowling and her Grindelwald fiasco. Author’s do NEED to learn when to stop intermeddling with their franchises, just saying) Book writing and screenplay writing are two very DIFFERENT disciplines. You don’t have the liberties of book writing when it comes to film. The screenplay is the guide for the entire production, the visuals, the set design, the whole atmosphere of the product, the very first thing that needs to be done so that directors, designers and lastly the casted actors know what they have to do. Everything has to come to a point in a very short time and there are many, many, many versions of a screenplay before a final raw draft gets handed out. If that isn’t in Riordan’s interest (which I can completely understand) then that’s simply not happening

3. Riordan as a guide: Directors, screenplay writers, etc. sit down with Riordan on a regular basis to show him the written screenplay, which actors they have in mind, the whole vision and he has a mini veto right.

If you ask me, a mix of scenario 2 and 3 is the most likely to be the most successful. That means, that Riordan needs to have a good faithful team, that sticks closely to the source material. That isn’t guaranteed! Again: look at the PJO movies. But of course, we don’t know the internals of these meetings.

So… now the final part. The whole fucking “Animation vs. Live action“ debate. Well, both sides have their pro’s and con’s. And both sides are filled with a bunch of fucking morons. I won’t try to get you to either side.

But to those that want are begging for a live action version with age-appropriate actors I have the following to say:

FUCK

YOU

IN

PARTICULAR!

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT CHILDREN TO GO THROUGH THE HELL THAT IS DISNEY AND THE SHADY SHIT GOING ON THERE SO THAT YOU CAN BE ENTERTAINED FOR SOME MERE MINUTES?!

Oh my god…. You people REALLY really want a fourth wave Me Too movement in 15-20 years. Not every Hollyweird kid has a helicopter parent hovering around them on set and many do get abused/robbed by their parents. And the people involved in the production! Of course, animation has still a chance of this happening but the risk is somewhat lower when it just comes to voice acting.

Tbh, I actually wouldn’t mind an aged-up cast again just to prevent this as best as possible. Unfortunately, child actors will always be needed.

I have nothing much to add to this, I’ll just drop a link to an old small post from me about that right here (LINK)

Personally I lean more towards animation but in the big picture I won’t care. (Also the whole animation is for kids and dumbs down the whole narrative for PJO is fucking stupid, boo boo the fool. You being in your late teens/twenties and grown out of the targeted audience is the cause of nature. Animation can be mature or would you show Attack on Titan or South Park to your 8 year old cousin?)

I’ll be just tuning in to see if this is as messy as I’d expect it to be or to be pleasantly surprised.

Also again: this process is a long one. It’s going to be exhausting, depressing, demanding, pushing.

From the meetings now that will take a very long time, to a screenplay, which can take YEARS in finalizing, to hiring staff, location hunting and set design (should they go the live action route), to casting, to costume design, to rehearsing/production, to filming, to dispersing, to editing, to fx, to finishing, to marketing, to publishing, NOTHING IS SET IN STONE! This is a very, very, very, wanky process despite contracts and everything on paper. Let’s not forget, Disney can afford some good lawyers.

And even if everything goes as smoothly as possible. Higher up people could see the final edit of everything with editors having scenes close to the books in an a/b/c/d cut and some producer says NO! I want an c/a/b/d version that again fucks up the dynamics of the books. Or something terrible: everything is shot and done and THEN it get’s postponed. Or even fucking worse: SHELVED to be NEVER RELEASED. Aka Henry Selick’s career after Coraline (Coraline from 2009 is STILL his latest release because of his fucked up Disney contract and them cancelling his shit). Millions of dollars wasted and we won’t get to see ANYTHING. This is all very possible and happens constantly in the film business AND at Disney. This is nothing new.

And there’s nothing we can do about it. No one cares about Riordan, no one cares about the books, no one cares about the fandom.

DISNEY holds the cards. DISNEY gets to decide. Neither Riordan, nor you nor me hold ANY power in this.

So kids… what have we learned today? In conclusion:

Keep your hopes to a low, stop harassing people online and mAnAgE yOuR eXpEcTaTiOnS!!111!!

That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say.

WHEW.

[mikkock]

Hey hi your murder mystery art is super totally cool and amazing and I'd like to Extra! Extra! hear all about it *rattles bells*

haha wow i cant believe ud ask me THIS! unbelievable! now im gonna have to make a long post!

all info under the cut cause im kind like that ♥

For reasons I felt like making a Fancy Ass murder mystery story, with you know, hella complex secret storylines and everyone having drama and shit, and one person died but the more the story goes the less people care about who did the murder and the more they want tHE JUICY DETAILs. X and Y had an afFAIR you say!!! well that’s thousands time more interesting than that murder that happened, who cares about the culprit its not like any of us are going anywhere anyway! tell me more about the marital issues!

The ultimate Vibes are Clue (the game, ya kno, it had a movie too, and that movie was shot with three different endings -fun fact- so that movie theatres could play one alternatively that way people wouldnt get spoiled or even if they did they would not get the ending they were spoiled or even if all three were spoiled you couldnt know which ending you were getting anyway, big dick move, cause its an old movie and film is expensive, also that movie stupid and campy, ALSO I ONLY LEARNED MAKING THIS AU THAT IN ENGLISH THE GAME’S CALLED “CLUE” wE CALL IT CLUEDO therefore my wip playlist is called cluedo. because. fuck it.)(i just have an emotional attachment to that game i even had a cd rom video game version and it was the spookiest shit for a 6 years old, trust me, i played it so much tho i didnt even understand the rULES i was just making scenarios like gathering the characters in rooms n making conversations outloud cause honestly the banter is the best part of a murder mystery) ANYWAY that sure is a whole paragraph of tangent. 

BUT YE the inspo from the Clue game. you can tell it from the Colours obviously, everyone’s colour codded.(even everyone’s name is colours as well you’ll see it’s real dang fancy! im just remaking that game but with 2932020 characters and more behind the scenes drama and also for gay people.)

So BASIC PLOT!

Sir Belyy, the dude in white, is The Rich Powerful Respected Fancy Boss, and he throws a Fancy Reception Party with his closest friends and associates to celebrate the opening of a new branch of his business. All the lads gather in his wonderful little very isolated mansion in the middle of nowhere, like ok he got a death wish or something or he’s very trusting of his business partners, but not a good move, cause in the middle of the reception, as A Phat Storm Starts (for plot convenience, we going with a campy vibe if you couldnt tell), his body is found, it’s awful, there’s a killer on the loose! All the guests gather, and attempt to maybe contact the authorities, to not avail, since The Storm ya know, phone lines are Broken my dude. Its clear that the culprit is among them, since no one could have entered the house, or left it (cuz once again, ThE sTORm). And then it’s all about interrogating each other, distrust, alliances and betrayal, revealing one’s deepest secrets when they form an alibi and revealing someone else’s deepest secret for they could be a motive! Meanwhile there’s a dead body in the mansion just chillin there. 

.

So as I mentioned, I changed everyone’s name to be colour related (or ya know, food or flowers of that colour cause sometimes a colour in a language would not work as a name given the way names work in that culture all that jazz) which is the trippiest thing cause tHATS NOT YALLS USUAL NAMES but its fun (also changed so many ages hgfhs it was a trip)(still no one’s really old i guess i got boomerphobia). The “Cast” is clearly the most important part, and if ur a True “My OCs” Connaisseur (hdfghd the most useful skill to have, knowing *MY* Charactersdshgd) you may have recognised some faces and can already read some vibes and predict who will be progressing the plot and who will be yelling at people throwing accusations ghdfgd.

(god i wish i hadnt slacked off making the portraits of everyone in that AU i only have 3 tho that’s so sad so ill just make little sketches just cause <3 only text??? i got too many hoes with no attention span for that)

.

Sir BELYY (the one who dIEs lmao)

(bust shot missing the fact that this man is the tallest beefiest lad around)

Intimidating, powerful, composed, wealthy, carries the name of a family who has generations of control to it’s reputation, he’s The Man that hoes who believe in the economy wishes they were. As in, the “self made” man who only just happened to benefit from having a wealthy background to uplift his plans. In his youth, he wanted to prove his worth, seperated himself from his father, started a business, that business became big, then got attached to the family’s business, bam back to square one but with Reputation now. There seemed to be VERY big tension between him and The Father, some speculate it had to do with his unknown mother, and some family drama there, and it never got resolved as old man Belyy died quite young (the jUICY speculations are that current sir Belyy mURDEREd old man sir Belyy, fucked up if true!). People love him though in general, as he has that reputation of “Cold Lad With a Gold Heart” aka he takes people under his wings, donates, doesnt treat his employees like the absolute worst garbage etc... you know, he’s rich and a half decent person, so obviously he’s an angel on earth. But does it matter though, he’s dead! that’s the concept of the story!  

Mr.GRAY (the grey guest)(who could have guessed from the name)

He’s one of Sir Belyy’s oldest employees, and benefits from a high rank in the company. But, sadly for him, he’s been stagnating lately, as newer, youngest employees seem to have Belyy’s favours, and are his prefered associates for important tasks and positions. Therefore he has Some Bitterness, Some Salt, Some Distaste, some unbriddled but professionally muted hatred for Specific people in the company. He can be an antagonistic figure, but the amount of time he spent in Belyy’s circle grants him an immense quantity of information about the man, but mostly, about his business. Anything about the company’s history, dealings, operations, he’s aware of, either having been told of them, or having snooped around to obtain, immune to being questioned due to his legitimacy in the company.

Mr.LIM (the green guest)

Remember when it was said that Gray had beef with some employees cause they were younger and rose to high ranks faster than him and became Belyy’s favourite over him? Yeah well here comes the one he hates the most for that (ofc he’s belyys fave cuz he’s Mine <3) Our lad caught Belyy’s attention for his Exploits in like, em fancy high school tournaments of smart people, it’s a thing its ridiculous, making kids compete on Smart stuff for the pride of their schools n shit, well homie Lim got clout when doing that, and Belyy was extremely interested cause that kid’s main thing was how “this young lad got mad strategic skills tf are u a war general or smth how fancy”, and that’s a coveted skill for ruthless business. So as soon as the kid is an adult, bam, join the company my dude. And because he’s just that Cool n Sexy ofc he met the expectations Belyy had, and old man Belyy got attached cuz it do be such a young lad, a kid, mentally i am adopting. That’s how you get a youngas employee becoming the right hand man of one the phatest CEO in a few years, and even make your way into being a Good Lad on top of a business partner. And that’s how you get Gray to hate your ass too. Now though, fine lad with mad strategic skills, rising to power that fast, and even infiltrating Belyy’s private life? If I were Gray I’d call suspicion there’s surely some shady stuff going no way we’re just dealing with a nice fella who just happens to work good and be friendly to the boss right?

Herra MUSTA (the black “guest”)

Belyy’s newest butler, assistant, house keeper, he multitasks. His family has been tied to Belyy’s for generations, fullfilling roles of help, but also of confidents. He’s been the head butler since only a short time, after his mother passed, and as such is still “in training” you could say, despite having served the family his whole life. There are rumours going around that the contract tying his family to the Belyys may end on his generation and need to be resigned. He known the manor by heart, and carries all keys to any locked room (and mostly, The Master Key, cause in an old house, some doors may be locked beyond all still existing keys). He also knows secrets of the family that no one else knows, but good luck getting em out of him, he’s under contract not to divulge em bro.

Mr. HASSEL (the brown guest)

Belyy’s childhood friend. They grew up together, pictured their dreams together, sworn to flourish together, worked together when starting the company, and then Hassel felt he should create his own thing instead of depending on his friend’s existing wealth, and while Belyy’s business went wild, his never took off. They still stayed very close, despite the massive difference in wealth. Belyy considers him his closest friend, the one person he can trust (fucked if hassel did the murder lemme tell u). So of course, he’s still always invited to the Prestigious meet ups where’s he’s free to feel uncomfortably out of place amongst all the rich and powerful people that he could have been a part of had he had a tiny bit of luck and a small loan from a wealthy relative...People LOVE saying he’s still hanging out with Belyy so much to leech off his wealth, cause of course they do! His bestie status means he has a whole different brand of information of Belyy than his butler does, the Most Intimate Stuff, the Childhood Stuff. The Juicy stuff ya kno...But Bro Code, its all secrets...

Sir RUZH (the red “guest”)

Deep dive into Belyy’s personnal history, the man has many employees working at his house keeping it working, clean, ya know the vibe. They live on the premice, one has a kid who’s just a Joy to be around, all the employees just vibe with that lad, he’s just a born socialite you know? Belyy gets to meet the kid, and also hella vibes with him. And because human are influenced by their feelings, he gives the kid’s mum a bit of a preferencial treatment, in the tasks she fullfils and all, til he gives her an important-as mission, and then there’s an accident n mama dies, and now Belyy got guilt and there’s this kid who just Vibes. So naturally the move is to take the kid in, and play on how his vibes are just so clean, and raise him to be the Perfect Entertainer for guests, bam, its soft power propaganda, if everyone loves your now son’s vibes, they associate them with you too. And also that’s kind of a clean rep, the selfless man who adopted his employee’s son to not have him fall to the streets, how heartwarming. Not at all traumatising for the kid too I bet! But anyway now the lad is just the most charming young adult, mission accomplished. He’s always present at any reception, ready to work his people-pleasing magic, and then going back to a gigantic empty manor to wait for the next and curate the perfect vibes to meet the expectations of dad. On the plus side, he knows everyone, and those who don’t know him cannot wAIT to, he’s just got that aura ya know. People skills for miles, and the insider knowledge that comes with being the son of the CEO, all this hidden behind the personna of the fresh innocent bashful party lad. 

Dr.FEN (the pink guest)

Do not get mistaken by the title, he’s no doc, he will not diagnose you with anything, he just studied long enough to get the sexy title. Study in what? Haha. Nothing shady. Just toxicology. He’s a world reknown poison expert basically, that’s his main thing. Oh but don’t worry, of course studying substances that may kill people is only for finding out how to cure them from it of course. What brings him in this circle? Simple, Belyy may or may not have started to suffer some weird illness that no doctor has been able to find the source, let alone cure, of. Him and Dr.Fen had met previously on some event, cause some rich man also love flexing how smart they are and attending sciencey shit, and he was contacted as sort of a shot in the dark. The lad does know how to treat some things, maybe he can treat The Mysterious Unwellness, since no traditional doctor was able to. He knows science, he’s trustworthy, bam, you’re hired to work on My Case Exclusively. Thanks to this, Dr.Fen has access to the whole health history of Belyy and his family, to many mANY dangerous substances, and also has The Respect of the hoes at the party. He HAS a doctorate after all. Epitome of knowledge. And he’s a kind to people and he wears pink like dang how can you nOT pour your wHOLE trust in him. 

Sir MOREVITCH (the blue guest)

Youngest son of an affluent family, who used to be close the the Belyys. The two families fell slightly appart after the death of the previous head of the family on the Belyy side, as they do nOT vibe with the current one (well current, til the first night of the story ig). But, unbeknownst to all, one strong link had been kept, between the youngest of the Morevitch, who dislikes his family and wishes to emancipate himself from them while also assuring his depart will not throw him basically in the streets, and our beloved Sir Belyy, who also dislikes the Morevitches but loves to see the rebellious energy of the young one (and ya know, my enemy’s enemy’s my friend or however you say that). So Belyy’s basically offering tips and helping Morevitch plant himself safely out of his family’s grasp, but it’s all taking quite some time isn’t it, slow and steady is fine until your parents try to arrange a wedding to secure more political power, and suddenly it is all quite urgent that you escape that situation because No Thank You Parents I Do Not Want A Wife I’m Too Young And Also Huh <3 Stuff You Won’t Like Hearing For Sure <3. The people who know they’re working together also know that it’s a big point of argument between them, the difference in vision between “you have to go slow and steady to be safe” and “I have very limited time to get to that safety anyway so I gotta risk it” “hell no you cant i can’t follow through if we’re going that quick that’ll put me at risk and you’re family’s gonna send gunmen to take me down”. A mess, it’d be much quicker to just obtain a few million bucks out of nowhere and bolt for sure...

Mr.GANG (the orange guest)

Morevitch’s trusted assistant. He hears the concerns, he helps the secret businesses, he lies to the parents about the whereabouts, and mostly, he’s basically a budget spy. The lad got that talent where people just don’t notice him popping behind them and catching all their dirty laundry as they confess it to someone they trust, and he always manages to break into places, get the intel he was looking for, and escape, putting everything back into place as if no one was ever there (wonder where he got all those skills from damn!). But what he’s even better at is being sneaky not only to benefit his boss, but himself as well <3. If he can catch all the info in the world, go any places, nothing’s stopping him from playing double agent and also going behind Morevitch’s back. After all the assistant life isn’t the most glamourous and rewarding, who can blame him from going and using his talents to build his own little exit route, right? Everybody sort of knows he cannot be trusted, but also no one managed to really incriminate or stop him, and as much as he has tea on many people, no has it on him, but bet once found that would be heeeella juicy.

M.MOUTARDE (the yellow guest)(this one is straight up the name of the yellow player in the french edition of clue too when i say its my main vibe)

Moutarde was an influential celebrity. He had a big break acting in a movie that the whole country stanned so hard they basically turned the script into their national anthem (they would have if it was a true democracy where the people really decide), he was so handsome and elegant, everyone’s dream husband. And then the fame fiddled out because it’s how fame is, one moment you’re the sexiest dish on the table and the next someone brings in dessert and baam, its all about that fresh cake, and no one pays any mind to your delightful aroma anymore, you’ve gone cold, they had a bite, their interest is somewhere else. Belyy really admires his work though, and mostly finds his image fits with the brand of his company, therefore the two are working on a collaboration to make Moutarde a representative. This WOULD boost Moutarde’s reputation, for his ads would be displayed on every imaginable surface of the country, and it would also benefit the company cause being represented by thAT sexy motherfucker? clearly that’s a deal. The freshness of the partnership means Moutarde is a newcomer in the guests, a fresh face, with no reputation, no relationships, no unfair biases against him. He’s just the new handsome charismatic lad with a squeaky clean image. Emphasis on “image”. After all, no one really knows anything of his background, right?

Kun.LAWENDER (the purple guest)

Private investigator, very useful to be around at a party it’s almost like it was expected there’d be a body to investigate, he’s a very close associate of Belyy, as there’s nothing more important to business than investigating the rivals and finding dirt on them to make them fall through infamy. He’s not exactly the PI who goes look for justice to be served, he’s just here for cash bro. He’s got intel on everyone, and will only let it out if offered the right thing in return (money, or sometimes other pieces of very secret intel, trade is good). Wouldn’t advise letting him and Gang team up tbh but they probably wouldnt, as Lawender is really more of a lone wolf player, going on his own for himself. The one thing that negates his usefulness as a PI on an accidental crime of scene is that even if he knew the whole truth of the event he would not spit it out unless he benefitted from saying it. He sure is a polarising lad, but at the same time, an untouchable one, he’s too knowledgeable to be taken down. Rather than sneaky, he’s extremely observant, noticing the tiniest details and engraving them in his memory, ready to be linked up to other details to deduct the big picture. He’s the upfront tea gathered basically (as opposed to Gang’s shadow tea gathering if you will, they are similar forces but using opposite methods)(also one of em got a licence n the other does not hAH).

~~~~

Now the secrets, all of em have them. One of em at least got the secret of having KILLED Belyy that’s that. But that’s to be kept for later (for if i ever use this story for more than daydream material gfhjgh) bet you can imagine what some of em may be just out of Knowing what i do, from having seen the characters in other contexts, or just because you’re a genius and reading the character profiles immediatly lit up the bulbs in your head forming the perfect theory, props to you, mad genius.

Honestly my thoughts are just how lit of a game that would be, you get to pick one hoe (maybe sum are locked til u find their secrets for juicy purposes) and you do your invetigation using your character’s perks and disadvantages, and maybe there could even be Multiple scenarios and outcomes, to spice it up, give replay value, i just think it’d be a game id spend hours on. tryin to get the spicy details of everyone’s life. walking around n digging through a rich man’s stuff, witnessing the drAMA of people fighting cause they’re locked in with a murderer and that’s stressful ngl. That or a long ass show @ netflix wanna give me a show maybe? give me hella budget we’re making it animated cause im too cultured for live action. 

whatever i make of it though, i hope i can make this story Flourish, just so that i can lay down all those secret backstories i’ve written. i want the satisfaction of throwing out the craziest secret drama between character n seeing peeps loose their minds, it just is a tasty experience.

also i gotta say, i plug the hell out of Clue for an inspo but when i was building the basics of the story my mind immediatly went “oH MY GOD THE VIBES,, THE BACKSTABBING AND tEAMING UP and all,,, its The Genius, that one tv show where peeps have to do the wildest games that require strategy n they’re in that fancy set that looks like a rich ppl mansion oh god the vibes” so yeah, i rewatched the whole first two seasons cause they’re my faves and that had an impact if only minimal in the aesthetic.

Anyway hope that quick presentation gave you a lil taste of the story, and maybe,,,, got you curious,,, craving to learn more like you never did before (im exaggerating the only real question we all got is just “so who’s fuckin with whom then how many of yall secretly dating” this the real deal)

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #1- Meeting All Our New Friends

Okay, let’s see what happens when you give one man way too much power over a franchise, and he doesn’t use it for evil.

Before we get into the story, let’s take a look at the cover art! MTMTE, as well as its sister series, Robots in Disguise, started off IDW Phase Two, a brand new run of main comics to replace the by-then completed The Transformers (2009). To celebrate this momentous occasion, each comic’s first issue got FOUR separate covers, which could be combined to create a large, overarching image. MTMTE’s looked like this when all the covers were put together.

The cover art here is by Alex Milne, who is on as the main artist for the series, but he’s not on issue #1- no, for our foray into this comic run, we see the return of Nick Roche.

The last time Roche and Roberts worked together was on Last Stand of the Wreckers, and other than MTMTE #6 and the Revolution one-shot, they won’t be teaming up again within the IDW run.

On a potentially-related-but-more-of-just-a-humorous note, it seems that Roberts is a huge stickler with his scripts, going into what sounds like an honestly horrific amount of detail for each individual panel. The average comic script is either between 20-23 or 28-30 pages long, not counting title and credit pages. Roberts has been cited as sending in comic scripts that approached 50 pages.

Which, if you know anything about the scriptwriting process, is a little… yeah. It’s a very good thing Roberts seems to be able to take criticism.

ANYWAY.

IT’S TIME.

The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye- Liars, A to D Part 1: How to Say Goodbye and Mean It- holy fucking shit that’s a long title- starts off with the Story So Far, a comic book classic to catch readers up on what’s happened prior to the issue. The very nature of a Story So Far will become plot-relevant much later down the line, but as is, it’s just reminding us what happened during Phase One, in as basic a point as it can.

And then the credits are right underneath.

I can’t even imagine how friggin’ good seeing this printed must have felt.

So, what’s going on in the premiere of the sad, gay, space comic?

Not my phrasing, by the way, but the Wiki’s.

So, the war’s over. What does that mean? Well, a lot of things, honestly, but the first thing we’re given in terms of what changes to expect with everyone’s favorite space robots is in relation to their wardrobes. Yeah, without a war to fight, what’s the point in having relatively identical blocky armor that protects all your insides? It’s time to get skimpy.

Rodimus has switched out his toned calves and discernible ankles for the Uggs that are now positively iconic to his character. Drift’s mass has almost completely gravitated to his thighs, making him the curviest thing this side of the Milky Way. Ultra Magnus didn’t get the memo about not needing to be in uniform anymore, I guess, but somehow I doubt he owns anything casual.

Rodimus, Drift, and Magnus are holding a rally to invite Autobots to come on their party-barge to find the Knights of Cybertron, in an effort to heal the planet, because Rodimus took one look at post-war Cybertron and said “no thanks.” Honestly, I think most would, if these properly colored characters are any indication.  

Just the Autobots, by the way. We aren’t ready to be friends with the ‘Cons just yet. Swindle did some major damage on that front.

Prowl and Wheeljack are off to the side discussing this turn of events, and while Wheeljack seems to think that a lot of folks will be boarding the ship and getting the hell out of dodge, Prowl’s expecting nothing to come of it.

So, that was yesterday. What’s going on today?

Inside Kimia, there’s a dead guy. He wasn’t dead when he was brought in, but he is now. Who is he, anyway?

Oh, he’s one of the NAIL protesters, and he died because he was protesting by way of transforming on the steps of Autobot HQ, until his transformation cog burn out. Yep, that can kill you. Ratchet’s the one who performed the autopsy, as per Metalhawk’s request- he only wanted the best of the best on this.

Too bad the best of the best is starting to slump. After a brief scare with Rigor Morphis- the stiffening of the corpse into the body’s preferred mode- Ratchet explains to Bumblebee that his hands have started seizing up, and that’s why he’ll be leaving on the Lost Light with Rodimus. He just can’t do the work anymore.

This news is not well received by Bumblebee, who’s just about had it with everyone up and leaving him all by himself with the mess that is Cybertron.

Phase Two will not be kind to Bumblebee.

Bumblebee accuses Ratchet of having been insnared in Rodimus’ siren song of reclaiming the Golden Age, but c’mon, this is Ratchet! He’s too cynical to fall for that. He’s more interested in finding the Autobots who’ve been lost over the millennia to the war. Ratchet’s already well aware of the true purposes of this little galactic road trip, almost like he’s read the plot outline.

It’s about helping people, and adventure, and being unapologetically gay and sad in equal measures.

Up in the sky, Cyclonus is displeased. He spent six million years in the Dead Universe, under the control of a madman, waiting for the moment he could return to his beloved homeworld, and what does he get? A ball of half-baked primordial cookie-dough, and it’s not even chocolate-chip like he was expecting; it’s fucking oatmeal raisin.

Mmm, that is some tasty panel-breaking right there.

Of course, the I/D chip might not have worked anyway, seeing as Cyclonus got a little bit of a boost when Vector Sigma ejected everyone during the Matrix incident. It’s doing some weird stuff to his body, on top of whatever nonsense existing inside the Dead Universe does to a person.

Cyclonus is about to head over to the Lost Light- apparently he and Rodimus made a little deal off-panel- when he detects a familiar life sign and decides to see what that’s all about.

Over in Prowl’s office, things are tense. He and Chromedome can’t even look at each other, as Chromedome reveals that both he and Rewind are jumping on the Lost Light. Prowl doesn’t like this, not one bit. He needs Chromedome, needs his skills, his expertise. He tries to appeal to Rewind, knowing who wears the pants in this relationship.

Or, well, he tries.

Prowl, they’ve been married for over 250,000 years.

In all seriousness, this is slightly before the first tentative steps Roberts took towards making the franchise as gay as he possibly could, at least when going by the story’s chronology. The thing about professional comic script writing is that plotting/planning goes for a ways beyond the current script one’s working on, so that everyone knows where everyone else is. Considering the somewhat congruent nature between MTMTE and RiD, planning ahead was especially important.

Chromedome and Rewind were originally (like, first draft originally) meant to be best friends. This was to fill a void in the department of close relationships Roberts felt within the Transformers franchise. Then Roberts saw how handsy he’d been writing them during plotting and realized he’d made something a little different happen. Which still sort of went with what he was going for, just in a slightly different fashion. Chromedome and Rewind are a rare case of a writer NOT leaning into the “they’re just bros, bro” mentality and just letting the characters be together as romantic partners.

Also keep in mind that it would be another three fucking years before the United States would legalize same-sex marriage, which is where the IDW offices are located. You gotta ease that sort of change in, that way nobody realizes what you’re doing until it’s already been done, then you can go hog-wild. We won’t be hitting critical mass on the homonormative civilization that is IDW1 Cybertron for a solid year or so.

So this bit of dialogue is just the start of the setup, and the “best friend” line is either a leftover from earlier versions of the script, or Prowl really just is that big of an asshole.

Rewind is, of course, recording everything taking place on his handy-dandy little head-mounted camera, because history is his business, and he’s not going to stop recording for the likes of Prowl.

Rewind doesn’t like Prowl very much.

It would seem that the feeling is mutual.

Chromedome suddenly remembers that trying to reason with Prowl is like talking to a brick wall, and the two of them leave. Prowl responds to this slight by yelling in the hallway and then flipping a table.

I sure hope y’all like running gags.

Of course, Prowl wouldn’t be Prowl without having a few contingency plans in place for when things don’t go his way, and he makes a call to his inside guys to “load the cargo.”

That’s not ominous in the slightest.

Six million years prior to all this nonsense, a tiny little dude fell in a hole and broke his legs trying to get to work.

This is Tailgate, and he’s seen better days. Not many, mind you, but at least a couple. He was making his way to the launch of the original Ark, when he decided to take a shortcut that would change the course of his life forever. Hence the whole “stuck in a hole” thing. Still, he’s got to get out of here, because without him, the entire expedition is doomed!

For being an idiot, Tailgate’s pretty smart- he figures that if he sets off his energon rations, it’ll blast up through the roof of the cavern he’s in and someone will be able to find him. Good thing energon’s so incredibly volatile.

Speaking of volatile, let’s jump back to the present and check on our buddy Whirl.

It looks like Whirl also got a makeover between series, because he’s now sporting a much sleeker, angular frame, complete with long, tapered head.

Whirl’s currently busy thanking his new friends for spending so much time with him. It really meant a lot to him, their patience. Not many folks have been patient with him before.

Of course, it probably helps that all these guys are dead as hell.

It’s time for another Roberts’ staple- the suicide attempt. We won’t be using the robot-equivalent to Multiple Sclerosis though. This go around, we’ll be using a classic: self immolation!

Title drop! Bet you weren’t expecting it to have such a dark connotation, huh?

Cyclonus interrupts Whirl’s monologue and suicide attempt. He thought he’d seen his best buddy, Scourge, on his tracker, and his immediate response is to lurk in the shadows looking like a night demon wearing a party hat.

Fun fact: a group of Sweeps is called a Spring Cleaning.

Scourge isn’t here, and he won’t ever be. Scourge most likely died off-panel, never to be seen again, assumedly because nobody wanted to write for him. I think it’s the nails, puts people off.

Whirl doesn’t take kindly to the intrusion, and responds the only way he knows how.

It’s always embarrassing when your self-immolation gets interrupted, but maybe try taking a first deep breaths before committing to more war crimes, Whirlybird.

While these two morons fill the post-Bay movie explosion quota, Red Alert’s hard at work screening the passengers on the Lost Light. Currently, he’s checking Brainstorm, who’s making it as difficult as possible, both legally and emotionally. Red Alert waves him on with a grumble, without even getting a peek at what’s inside his mysterious briefcase.

Up next is Swerve.

His legs are so jacked, it makes me a little uncomfortable. Glad to see Swerve’s body reformat went swimmingly- seems he went for the classic “tires in the shoulders and ankles” model.

Oh hey, it’s Rung! Hi Rung!

This series will not be kind to Rung.

While Cyclonus and Whirl terrorize the folks just trying to get on board the dang ship, Rodimus is feeling rather pleased with himself with the turnout. Drift strokes his ego a bit, because they support each other, but things are still weird because Drift doesn’t know who he is as a person anymore, and Rodimus has a guilty conscience mixed with being the Matrix’s golden child, which really fucks with a guy’s head.

Ultra Magnus goes through the list of the folks joining their quest, and starts running through all their demerits and crimes like it’s his job, because it is. We get a little peek into Magnus’ world view and then it’s back to the Whirl and Cyclonus show.

Also, Drift doens’t have a nose right now. He’ll get it back in time for the next issue, don’t worry.

Over with the flyboys, Cyclonus has decided to land and attempt to reason with Whirl. Not that he couldn’t totally kill Whirl if he wanted to.

He just doesn’t want to.

No, Cyclonus is far more concerned with his meeting with Rodimus, the one that he’s already friggin’ late for thanks to the detour he took checking that life signature. Whirl doesn’t care, far more worried about the fact that Cyclonus saw him talking to desecrated corpses and, far more importantly, vulnerable.

Look at this jackass’ ensemble- demon helmet, a crop top, a skirt and bellbottom pants. What an icon. He and Eugenesis Wheeljack should trade fashion tips.

Whirl still isn’t done with him, even after scraping him across the side of a mountain. Feeling especially artsy, he scoops Cyclonus up and jumps into the air, since he apparently has a hundred-foot vertical leap.

Back in the past, things aren’t going so well for Tailgate.

More cool panel stuff going on here- every time the panels have had rounded corners, it’s been when the scene takes place in the past. Now that the last panel has proper right angles to it, Tailgate’s in the present with everyone else. That middle panel probably covers a couple million years, at least. Poor guy.

Up on the surface, Ratchet’s met up with Chromedome and Rewind, and they’re all walking over to the launch site, Chromedome bitching all the while about how they’ve got to use their legs since Rewind’s alt-mode isn’t a vehicle, but a USB.

Chromedome seems to have forgotten that his tiny husband is small enough to probably just ride on top of his alt-mode, if not directly inside, most likely due to his larger-than-life personality.

Whirl and Cyclonus fall out of the sky before Chromedome can say something that’ll get his ass divorced. Cyclonus gets knocked out cold, having taken the brunt of the impact. Unfortunate, seeing as Whirl’s taking the time to make up lies about him.

You thought I was kidding when I said the armor was skimpy, but here we are, with a shot of Whirl’s battle thong.

Ratchet, who knows Whirl, because he knows everybody, tries to talk him out of straight up murdering Cyclonus. Whirl doesn’t like it when people try to talk him down, and is about to turn on the good doctor, when Tailgate enters the scene, by way of explosion.

Whirl doesn’t handle explosions terribly well. Probably why he was going to use one to kill himself.

With Whirl knocked out, Ratchet and the power couple pull Tailgate out of his hole, where he manages to ask about the launch before freaking the fuck out and fainting at the sight of a rather dead-looking Whirl. To be fair, I can’t think of a whole lot of folks who’d survive getting their tits blown off with enough force to clear a tunnel in solid rock.

You said it, Rewind.

Ratchet grabs Tailgate and Whirl and brings them onboard the ship, seeing as Tailgate seems to want to be there, and Whirl’s too dangerous to be out of sight. They just kinda leave Cyclonus on the ground. I doubt the two guys who were on Kimia last month really want to deal with him.

Rewind breaks off from the group to see his dealer. This dealer isn’t selling the good kush though. He’s got something far more incriminating to offer.

But we don’t get to find out what the fuck Rewind just bought from Swindle for a few more issues. Rest assured, it’s nothing good.

On the bridge, Rodimus is in his captain’s chair, ready to captain it up. The Lost Light raises into the air, as Bumblebee and Prowl watch on, about to exit the atmosphere and begin a adventure filled with hijinks and mild peril.

And that’s a series wrap on everyone! I hope you enjoyed this wonderful one-shot written by James Roberts.

What do you mean there’s 56 more issues?

Alright, let’s see where this goes.

Back on the bridge, there’s alarms and sirens out the wazoo, as things have pretty much immediately gone to shit. The quantum engine the Lost Light’s outfitted with apparently went off prematurely, rocketing them into a completely random quadrant of space.

Also, there’s a hole in the ship, and vacuum physics are doing their thing.

This series will not be kind to Rodimus.

The Lost Light touches down on the planet they popped back into existence over to start looking for all the guys who got sucked out of the ship. They don’t have to look long, seeing as they’re all burning up in the atmosphere.

Welcome to the Lost Light. It’s a friggin’ mess.

Back on Cybertron, the aftermath of the explosion is seen, as Bumblebee and Prowl listen to a message that seems to imply a lot more heartache in the future.

Prowl, you could at least pretend to give a shit.

That’s the end of the story, but not the end of the issue. In the back of the book, we get a welcome letter from James Roberts himself, thanking the reader for taking the time to read the beginning of MTMTE, and holy shit does he really try to sell it to you. This is a guy who wants you to be excited about the story that’s coming your way, because he’s excited about it. He’s a big dork who loves Transformers, and he gets to write about them for the next six years! That’s awesome. 

[grifalinas]

Okay so having consulted my shower head and looked deep into my heart and considered some practicalities, I’ve decided I’m just going to make protagonist’s parents be gay anyway because, well. Because. I have reasons beyond “I’m gay and I want to” but let’s face it, that is a major factor.

So I had two issues regarding the hetting up of the first generation other than aforementioned I’m gay:

1. If I made them both dudes, that would mean one but not the other would have to be protagonist’s biological parent. Not a problem for me normally, but I have specific ideas that I want to play with.

2. If I make the royal parent a woman and het the story up, the stepparent becomes a stepfather, and I have specific characterization choices for the stepparent that I feel will come across tonally differently based on the gender of the character in question.

So obviously with the first issue the question becomes, if I make them both dudes, how do I approach the childbearing angle? Obviously surrogacy is a thing, and I had the brief thought that this could be used to create the angle of challenging protagonist’s claim to the throne- if he’s the non-royal parent’s biological child, that makes him non-royal himself, and with his biological parent no longer on the throne, his claim is lost. But that’s dumb because obviously they’d just use the royal parent as surrogate, problem solved.

And then I remembered that they literally have the friendship of a very powerful and very old fae who thinks this guy is the bee’s knees and will do pretty much anything to make him happy because it’s fun, and wished for children are a staple trope of fairy tales. There’s literally no reason not to have the dads just wish really hard for a baby and have Hobo Joe be like “here you go, this one’s on the house” and whoops, I think protagonist might actually be Snow White instead of Cinderella.

Anyway the dads are gay now sorry I don’t make the rules.

As for the stepparent, the death of the first parent leads the king to remarry, to a lady this time because bi people exist, and they have children and the new queen wants to put her children on the throne, not the children of this other guy. The king dies, and protagonist is not yet old enough to rule (he is in fact quite young), so the queen rules in his stead until he’s old enough.

The angle I wanted to go for with the stepmother, and the reason I feel it works better with a female character, is a “mother loves you” nurturing type abuser. This is purely for a friend of mine, who finds nurturing and wholesome characters more unsettling than outright cruel characters, and after all the times we’ve talked about it I really want to try my hand at that brand of horror.

The queen keeps protagonist isolated, convinces him that she means him the best and is taking very good care of him (and she knows what’s best for him more than he does, and he shouldn’t go out, he’s very frail, isn’t he?, and honestly, he’s looking a little pale, does he have a fever?, better sit by the fire and warm up, here’s a soft blanket for you, I’ll have you sent some soup, don’t fret yourself over such things as the state of the kingdom, mummy will take care of it), so it’s hard for him to untangle himself from that brand of compliance but fortunately he has this raccoon that lives in his room and teaches him all sorts of fun things and lets him do things and learn what he’s capable of.

Back to my first point, I like the idea of a prince demanding a mythological goose as his groom-price because that means that he’s the one being pursued and is sick of it, and also that either his suitors aren’t limited to just princesses, or princesses have the same expectations of badassery as princes. Or both. I love it.

[othersworldly]

       hello, hello, its the double pisces you litcherally never asked for. i went into the tags, found this serotonin gyllenhaal and then accidentally named him after the new, popular character he plays on turkish tv after googling male names for 1 hour straight. if that doesn’t just explain who i am as a person i don’t know what else will. i’m twenty-three and legally cannot do math or i will explode. thank you for dealing with me and sorry in advanced but i can’t and won’t be tamed.

ÇAĞLAR ERTUĞRUL, MALE, HE/HIM, HELLHOUND   /   deep in the pacific northwest lives KEREM HAZAR. i heard they’ve been living there for a year and last saw them hanging around mount peak cemetery, i think they might’ve been tending to the forgotten grave markers. at three hundred and eleven years old, rem doesn’t look a day over thirty. everyone around here always associates them with the phantom warmth of a flickering flame, the rich timbre of an old engine roaring to life, and the icy smell of spearmint. hope they enjoy their stay ! ( naomi, pst, she/her, 23 )

B A S I C   I N F O R M A T I O N

LEGAL NAME: Kerem ‘Rem’ Hazar DATE OF BIRTH: December 12th  / sagittarius  GENDER | SPECIES |  Male / Hellhound

LIKE[S]: Winning, the smell of leather, fruit punch DISLIKE[S]: Losing, Lack of effort, Intolerance, Cheating

FEAR[S]: no fears . *taxes* .. one fear. 

PERSONALITY TRAITS: + CONFIDENT, STRONG-WILLED, SELF-DISCIPLINED    – RECKLESS, OVERLY COMPETITIVE.

P H Y S I C A L   I N F O R M A T I O N

HAIR COLOR: Brown EYE COLOR: Blue HEIGHT: 6′2″ BUILD: Athletic, Fit,

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: he always looks well-rested. very sus

STYLE: grey henleys, grey jeans, worn docs, he’s a casual guy with casual style

TATTOOS/PIERCINGS: brand of the hunt on his left peck.

R E L A T I O N S H I P   I N F O R M A T I O N

SEXUAL PREFERENCE: bisexual RELATIONSHIP STAT: legally allowed to leave if no one addresses him directly within 5 minutes of entering a room

pinboard //

more on rem

fire-fighter and certified emt

earth-toned babe who wears mostly greys and browns.

he wears glasses without a prescription because he thinks it makes him more approachable but he often just leaves them around and makes more work for himself by having to go out and hunt for them

lives in a one bedroom apt on the 8th floor of a moderately priced building that has a fire escape - which he uses more often the actual entrance 

pet german shepphard named beef stew,

yes beef is a rescue and yes, sometimes rem can be found shouting beef around the block if the four year old pup gets out while he’s gone.

very easy going - he has few personal rules and a few things he stands his ground on but for the most part he’s agreeable and will go anywhere he’s invited.

loves carbonara 

runs hot and likes winter but hates it at the same time because he has to carry a jacket around for looks. but on the bright side he always has a jacket for anyone who gets chilly

throughout the years he’s become really good at making bread. he proofs them in mason jars and holds them in his hands to cook them to buttery, flaky perfection

+ insert obsessive hobby here +

hellhound

other hellhounds know them as CEMRE a name they first picked up from a turkish mountain woman. she had muttered it softly at first, watching in awe and horror as they emerged unscathed from the flames that both announced their arrival on earth and wiped out an entire villiage in the frigid remnants of winter that is now known as february. 

walks the line of true neutral and chaotic neutral

when actively hunting they are known to do whatever it takes. but when dormant, they are nonplused with the whims of the factions - as long as the supernatural world is properly hidden from the mass populace.

has a preference for ghosts over banshees, but likes both well enough.

thinks witches are good fun because the only one who could demand things of him died a hundred years ago

has no generalized notion about other hellhounds.

understands werewolves in a primal sense but finds them dramatic

not too keen on vampires because the dead should remain dead

actively hunting dragons

connection ideas

bed brewing & beyond - a witch or demon hook up that he can call on for big asks. or he could go out and fetch things for them for $$$ of course. like uber eats but its a nymph skull and he’s covered in blood and its the 90s

casually dating - needless to say, he’s thirty and not even married. so he’s basically on the verge of death or something right? lol . so they casually date and appear at functions together, but its nothing over the top. he has the worst hours but tries to make time for them -- is what im imagining. but we can definitely tweak this to fit ur muse.

TRINITY chasing divinity - i’ve been in love with the idea of angels, of these celestial beings and what it must be like to choke on humanity. so why not just force that on my muse lol. i’d love fo him to just be infatuated ( so no pressure of requited feelings or nothing ) with a creature that exudes purity when he himself was created by the combined power of a demon and a dark witch

dd - besides being, ya know, literal fire, his metabolism burns through everything like it’s nothing. so you can 100% invite him for a night out and he will be your designated driver -- unless he has work of course. then you can call him, wasted af, and he will use his 15 minute break to come get you and tuck you in to bed.

everlasting mario kart - i know mk didn’t exist in the 90s or whatever, but basically they’re both immortals so they can and should fuck each other up ( in a siblings type way ) but the stakes are higher because they can survive most blow backs.

good omens - except we’re not on either side, we don’t care about the kid, and you’ve burnt the popcorn. good going paul

DRU AGOSTI lighthouses in the night -- i’ve been alive for a long time, you’ve been alive a long time. STOP MENTIONING THE TIME I WAS AN ICELANDIC SHEEP FARMER I WAS UNDERCOVER Jfc, yes of course i still know the best way to make sheep milk fuck you. wishing you a crap equinox you smug bitch

same face who dis - obvi has to be someone who can die but. he swears he’s seen you before. its just wild that you look so familiar. you remember me right? and he keeps on call ing your muse the wrong name and unlearning the things that he had previously learned. super flexi back story. heck i’ll even take two if people like it. could be exes, enemies, they fought in a war together and were brothers, they sailed across the ocean and it was very gay and also someone had scruvy? so many options! too many to list!

supermassive blackhole -- please invite him to the vampire baseball games. he can keep up i promise!!

or let’s brainstorm?! im bi and a pisces so i will just be happy for the attention honestly.

that’s it. that’s all i could think of during dbd. i will add more as i think of them/as we plot some out. i’m going to shower and eat an ice cream sandwich . peace out my dudes catcha ya on the other side

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: I’m In Lesbians With You

It occurs to me that i don’t have a proper review of Scott Pilgrim on here. I really should work through the current backlog of films that i still need to watch; Uncut Gems, The Lighthouse, Parasite, Ready or Not, but i f*cking love Scott and his shenanigans so... Scott Pilgrim it is! Considering how much i love this film and the fact that I’m just going to be gushing about it for however long this review is, let’s just get this out of the way immediately: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is an excellent movie and you should go watch it right now!

The Outstanding

Yo, before anything, can i just express how much i adore this f*cking soundtrack? My taste in music is varies wildly but, at it’s core, my heart beats for the Indie and the New Wave and the Post Punk. For this soundtrack to be packed with so much excellent, underground, indie fair? Oh, my goodness! It’s musical sex to me. Shout out to Nigel Godrich. Motherf*cker did the best of jobs on this one!

Even more than that, the way all of this music is integrated in each scene s absolutely brilliant. There’s not one note out of place or out of line. It’s rare that happens, so deftly that i actually recognize it. Usually, it’s all background noise to accentuate whatever scene but i legit took in everything.

While on the subject of music, i want to take a minute to acknowledge the sound design as a whole. Scott Pilgrim is based on a graphic novel, which i also love, so there is a rather kinetic energy that needs to be conveyed. It’s chock full of all the spastic nonsense us Millennials grew up with like Mario token sound effects and obscure cartoon references. Integrating certain sound effects like the random game noises here or there is absolute brilliance. It lends an air of authenticity to this adaption.

While i can gush about all of the audible genius for years, i would be remiss if i didn’t speak on the goddamn eye candy of this film. Holy sh*t is thing gorgeous! And not just the Evil Ex set pieces, even though those are absolute chaotic bad-assery, this entire film is a work of art. It really is. You can frame almost every shot in this thing, it’s that gorgeous.

Speaking of gorgeous, these costumes are amazing. A lot of them are ripped right out of the comic but they’re like, real clothes. Nothing feels cartoony or comic book-ish, it all feels organic to the tone of film and characters therein. Like, i wear the same kind of sh*t Scott wears. It’s all graphic tees and jeans with me, much to the chagrin of my darling missus.

The writing in this flick is absolutely brilliant. Like, seriously, nothing feels out of place, the dialogue feels organic, and the plot is a pretty decent condensing of the graphic novels original six volumes. I have interactions like these with my friends. I legitimately talk like this. Of course, there is a little polish on some of these line but, overall, it’s pretty on point.

All of this standout awesome can be traced back to the vision of it’s director, Edgar Wright. No one believed in this little experiment so he had carte blanche to create whatever he wanted and he did just that. You can tell there was a real love for this material and while not everything from the books made it into the movie, he did an excellent job of capturing the major beats and important aspects with his absolute mad style of movie making.

The cast in this thing is weirdly perfect. All of them. Every one of them. Seriously, it’s like a who’s who of young Hollywood from way back when, almost all of whom have grown into proper A-list talent and i love it! Alison Pill, Anna Kendrick, Jason Schwartzmen, Ellen Wong, Brandon Routh, and Mae Whitman are all excellent in their respective roles. There are, of course, standouts but before i get to them, i just what to acknowledge how great the casting is, overall, in this movie. You can feel the comradery onset and it’s reflected in the fact that there are no weak performances, at all, in this flick. F*ck, dude, there’s even a Thomas Jane and Clifton Collins cameo in this thing that feels absolutely at home!

This film would be nothing without the right person in the lead. Scott Pilgrim is a neuritic, self-centered, anxiety ridden, asshole of person but still lovable in a very dry and sarcastic kind of way. There are very few that can capture that energy so when i found out Michael Cera as cast in the lead, i knew this movie was in good hands. Every movie i have ever seen him in, Cera carries that energy expertly. He is he living embodiment of Scott Pilgrim. Like, this is MCU levels of casting, for real.

The second role you had to nail to make this work was definitely Ramona Flowers. You had a little more leeway with this one but i think they still nailed it with Mary Elizabeth Winstead. I’ve been a fan of hers since way back when she was in Sky High (I actually love that movie SO much) and even further back with The Ring Two, but that’s more a deep cut than anything. Anyway, Mary is perfect as Ramona and one of the best things about this movie.

So the performances of the Evil Exes are spectacular, Particularly Schwartzman’s. His Gideon Graves was just so smarmy and condescending and disingenuous you couldn’t help but hate his guts. Dude was awesome, no doubt, but he was outshined by what Chris Evan was able to create with Lucas Lee. That’s right, Captain America himself was in Scott Pilgrim as the first Evil Ex and he f*cking killed it! I’ve loved Evans for years. Not Another Teen Movie is actual one of my favorites and he was easily the best thing about those first two Fantastic Four films but you can see him shine in this role, even if it was only a few minutes.

It’s no secret i love Brie Larson. I’ve raved about her performances in the past but it was this movie that made me take notice. Her interpretation of Envy Adams was pitch perfect. It’s melodramatic and over-the-top but at the same time, incredibly vulnerable. Natalie has one hell of an arc in the book and it’s a little short-changed in the movie, but Larson makes gold with what she has to work with. Plus, she actually performs the cover to Metric’s Black Sheep. Those are her vocals and i find that to be absolutely dope.

Of course, you can’t talk about Scott Pilgrim without talking about his gay roommate, Wallace Wells. Dude is one of the best characters in the book and is an absolute scene stealer n this film, thanks to the deft hand of Kieran Culkin. It’s hard for me to praise gay character in cinema because cats always right them as caricature but Culkin’s Wells feels real and grounded, none of that Hollywood gay bullsh*t. Dude is a person that just happens to be gay and i love that.

And last but not least, Aubrey Plaza. There’s a little picture of Julie Powers that is the spitting image of Plaza. Like, her casting is as perfect as Scott’s casting. Seriously, she is what Michael Cera is to Pilgrim. It’s rare a cast in a film is so goddamn perfect. Even the MCU has had some missed but literally every one in this film is absolutely prefect and Plaza might be best of all.

Also, all of the LGBT representation. While the movie didn’t capture all of the many, many, sexual presentations, they didn’t shy away from some of the most prominent. Pilgrim’s roommate Wallace Wells, is extra gay and he has a myriad of boyfriends throughout both the book and film. Nothing too graphic, but there are scenes with them in bed and one pretty heavy make-out sessions early in the film. Hell, they even included Ramona’s one female Ex, Roxy Richter, in one of the best Evil Ex fights of the entire movie. Bravo film, bravo.

The Verdict

I said this in the beginning and just in case the previous gushing didn’t give you a clue, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a f*cking great film, man. It stands on it’s own as a wonderful coming of age story but it’s so much more than that. It’s a love story to music. It’s one of the best comic adaptions i have ever seen. It’s an ode to the Millennial coming-of-age journey. It’s a nostalgia bomb for kids my age, who did sh*t like play video games all day then spend all night in coffee shops that had live music and f*cking waffles. It’s an amazing representation, and unique presentation, of those early twenties when you aren’t sure of yourself or your direction or anything and you just want to drift through life for as long as possible. It’s heartbreak and new love and learning about who you are, deep down, not some shallow representation or facade. I love Scott Pilgrim because it tells a great story. It tells MY story. And it does it with a banging ass soundtrack, too.

[deafwestnewsies]

from his lips came forth the world

There’s nothing like bringing a throwing knife to a lightning fight. 

also crossposted to my ao3 and ff.net!

jack kelly x davey jacobs 

The lightning singed his hair as Jack clenched his fists, desperately trying to remember exactly what the insulation staff Spot built had looked like. Override was drawing closer and he had no time to waste, so he went over the important details in his mind. Blue knobs at either end. Gray in the middle. The size of his wingspan. Deciding that was enough information, (and feeling the electricity crackle through the air) Jack shut his eyes and whispered “Materialize.” The weight of the staff suddenly appeared in his hands, and he laughed in relief for a second before hearing a voice behind him.

“That tiny thing?” Override cackled. “You couldn’t stop a triple A battery with that.” Jack stared at the man in front of him, his heart pounding in his chest. Green lightning snapped and popped all around him, suspending him high in the air. Sparks flew from his fingers as he taunted Jack about his (admittedly tiny now that it was in comparison to Override’s bolts) staff. “You know, I would’ve expected more from the infamous Dr. Creation.” The villain sneered. Hearing his name drenched in sarcasm made Jack’s blood boil, so he spun the staff around a few times for good measure.

“Why don’t you come down here and see how it works for yourself?” Jack called, yelling over the thunder that was coming from the quickly forming clouds ahead. He knew that he would have to carry out the plan soon, or else his opponent would get too strong too quickly and Jack would be powerless. Override sneered and came closer to the ground, shooting his first bolt at Jack. It was a blessing that Race had made him train for so long with the damn staff, even though Jack hadn’t been sure if he was going to use it. Spinning quickly, it (successfully! He would have to rejoice with Spot later.) deflected the lightning and sent the bolt shooting off into the distance. He winced, hoping everybody had been in their right mind and fled the area already. This didn’t deter Override, however, and the man kept shooting lighting as Jack twirled the stick around and kept the deadly electricity away from him. He could no longer see anything but green, green light keeping him in one place while Override kept laughing and getting closer. This added intensity to his strikes and made Jack worry that he wouldn’t be able to hold out for very much longer.

He was tired. The villain was not. It was clear who would win.

With one final spin, the staff cleared away bolt after bolt of electricity until everything was still. Override has lowered himself to the ground and he was walking slowly towards Jack. His hand crackled with incredible light that terrified him to his very core, but he knew that the villain would torture him for a few seconds to draw out the anticipation. A last ditch attempt came to his mind, so he put his hands behind his back and with his best ventriloquist skills, whispered “Materialize.”

The throwing knife was cool in his palm, just the perfect size to land in Override’s heart and finally cease the beating. His reign of stupid petty crime would finally be over. Jack watched as the man drew closer, closer until they were inches apart. “It’ll be so good to finally watch you burn,” he said, his voice low. The lighting popped and sizzled as he raised his hand and-

His scream pierced the night as Jack ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Blue paint. Four wheels. Dented passenger door. His Honda Accord landed in the street right next to him and he lept in, willing the car to start as quickly as possible. There was no ominus green light illuminating the path behind him to his great relief, so he muttered “That bitch better be dead once and for all,” and peeled off into the night.

&&&

Of course Override had survived. And of course he chose to rob the gas station on 82nd and West right when Jack was sitting down to work on a group project. As soon as he turned on the TV for some background noise, the news showed security footage of Override smashing a glass door and demanding the money out of the register. “Uh… Race?” Jack called, eyes glued to the screen. The reporter was saying that he wasn’t holding anyone hostage and no one was injured, but he had stolen a fairly hefty profit. Override was moving down 82nd and didn’t look like he was going to stop. His roommate stomped into the living room but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the commotion.

“I thought you stabbed him!” Race whined, sinking onto the couch.

A tired laugh came from Jack, who was already hopping out of his pants. “Yeah. Me too.” His shirt came off as well by the time he reached his bedroom, and he pressed hard on the back of his closet wall. “Call Spot for me, yeah?” He called as he reached for his suit. Dark blue, form fitting, with a rainbow trail going up the side. Technically he had lost a bet to Spot that gave the bastard full creative integrity, but after so many years, Jack didn’t mind the suit. It was apart of his brand. (It was also waterproof, thanks to the same bastard.)

Race had already pulled out his mini workstation from under the couch, tapping on the mic. “Copy?” He said, his voice echoing around in Jack’s skull. Jack nodded wincing, as he turned the volume down a bit.

“Do me a favor and let me know if anyone from the group chat ‘Virginia Woolfe and Feminism’ texts, okay? I’m supposed to be writing my part of the assignment tonight.” Jack says as he swings open the door. A very grumpy looking Spot stood in the doorway, holding a cup of coffee and still in pajama bottoms.

Passing by the superhero, Spot kissed the top of Race’s head. “I have an eight am tomorrow, so make it quick Kelly.” Jack winked and ran from the door as fast as he could, materializing out into the front of the building. A handy trick, but could only take him so far. He could usually go only about 200 feet without making himself incredibly tired so he saved it for the most dire of circumstances. Or to get him to the back alleyway without being spotted, which only happened to be a handy 137 feet from his front door. From then he materialized his car and sped down the alley, ready to catch Override. (Again.)

&&&

“I thought I killed you!” Jack called out to the mass of sparking green cloud. The boy floating in front of it laughed, laughed so hard the cloud shook with him.

He started to descend from the sky. “Your aim is as lousy as your skill, Doctor,” Override sneered.

Jack tightened his fists around the staff and kept the image of a tranquilizing gun in his mind, just incase it would become handy. “And your laugh is as cheesy as you suit, Lightning Boy.” He knew that this irritated the villian to no end, and would aggregate his powers. Hopefully he could get him so riled up that Override grew tired and just went home. Or maybe he’d just quit overall. Here’s to wishful thinking, he thought bitterly. “Are you scared of my new staff? I’ve upgraded since I took you down last.”

“I’m never scared of a staff.” He said haughtily.

Jack laughed. “Sounds a little gay.” He joked, mainly to himself, but the other boy had heard. He watched the blush spread across Override’s cheeks. It’d be cute if it wasn’t almost scary, the creeping red electrified by the lightning.

Override rubbed at his neck for a second before composing himself. “Yes, well last time you got me with a knife, so I’m just not very impressed with your… staff.”

Just in time to hear their laughter and a small “Burn!” from Spot, Race turned his mic on. “Hey you have a text from a ‘David’ in the chat saying his part’s also gonna be a little late. But that was like thirty nine minutes ago.”

“Does it look like the time?” Jack hissed into the mic.

Race scoffed into the mic. “Bro, he just said you have a small dick. It was the perfect time.”

Override crossed his arms, the energy in the air sizzling around him. It created a halo of sorts, glowing green. If he wasn’t wearing a mask and fireproof pants, he could look downright angelic. “If you’re done talking, we could fight.”

“Listen dude,” Jack sighed. “I have to go work on school stuff. I’m sure you’re a very busy man when you’re not off being a terrible villain. Can’t you just promise to not do anything for like a week?” He was half joking, but at the same time he wasn’t. He was tired of fighting Override. He was tired of only getting two hours of sleep. He was tired of having constant paranoia that one day he wouldn’t be there to save the day.

The exhaustion in his voice was overtly evident. Override’s face softened for a moment. “I’m-” His shoulders slumped. In that second, he looked like a normal person, not a crazy supervillain, just a boy. “I have school stuff to do too. I can give you one week. That’s all.” Straightening his spine, Override stuck out his hand.

With Race screaming in his ear, (What are you doing?! He tried to kill you! He’s evil!) not really sure of what he was doing, Jack reached out and shook his hand. A small electric current ran through him as they made eye contact for a split second, and Override looked away quickly.

As Jack drove home, one image was imprinted in his mind; the small stain of blush inching up the back of his neck as Override turned to walk away.

&&&

Flinging his backpack to the ground, Jack sat down in a chair next to a boy with a bright green pen in hand and a note page that was already half full. “I’m so sorry, y’all,” he explained. “My car wouldn’t start.” Everyone else in the group gave condescending reassurance and returned to their discussion. The boy (Nick? John? David?) leaned over and patted him on the arm.

“Don’t worry, all they’ve managed to do was suggest that Woolfe was a lesbian.” He whispered.

Jack chuckled. “She was one of the first to write in a queer critical perspective.”

“Exactly!” The boy said excitedly. “Plus, all of the great lesbian lit that came out her writings, like-”

“Chloe Plus Olivia!” They both finished. The boy smiled, looking almost taken aback. “You’re Jack, right?” He questioned. Jack nodded fervently. “David. But you can call me Davey, if you’d like.”

“Davey.” Jack said, loving how easily the name slid off of his tongue.

The boy smiled brightly, and it seemed like the air around him was buzzing with energy. Jack’s breath caught in his throat, if only for a moment, but it was long enough to let him know one thing: There was something incredibly special about Davey.

&&&

Override had, surprisingly, kept his promise. One week of no crime, no harassing of box office movie theater employees, gas station attendants, hostess/hosts, or fast food workers. Then Jack was awoken from his sleep to Race shouting in his face, “Override! Heading toward the school! Towards us!”

Up in an instant, Jack began putting his suit on and grabbing all of his tools. The second he zipped up he was gone in a flash, leaving Race to hurriedly run to the living room and set up all of his equipment. He could rob little shops and scare people into doing his bidding, but Jack would be damned if Override burned down his dorm building. Or the art studio. If he became suddenly homeLess and degree-Less because of this green sparks punk, he’d become much more deadly with a throwing knife. He’d make sure it stuck in the right place.

The man was stalking toward the clump of buildings that held the offices when Jack saw him. He was glowing green, pulsating with anger, when he unlocked the front door. (He just zapped at the handle and the door flew open. Jack wasn’t sure how that worked, exactly.) He followed him inside quietly until they stopped at the Dean of Finances’ door. Making a crackling ball of light, Override aimed and then-

“Wait!” Jack called out. Surprised by the voice, Override turned at the sound and threw the electricity over Jack’s left ear. He could smell the singed hair and hear Race lecturing him on the danger he just put himself in. “What are you doing?” Jack asked, curiously.

Override rolled his eyes. “Don’t you have better things to do than follow me around, Doctor?”

“Don’t you have better things to do than” gesturing wildly at the door, “Break into the office in a college?” Jack pursed his lips for a second. “Or do you go here?” He wondered out loud.

Override scoffed, seemingly offended by this. “I’m not a- a- college student!” He sputtered.

Jack nodded. “Sounds like something a college student would say.” The air around Override seized with energy, swirling and fizzing. Good. If he kept up, he might tire him out again. Or talk him out of breaking into the financial director’s room.

As he tried to explain himself, Jack started forming the tranquilizer gun in his head. Silver. Pointy end. Reddish clear vials. Halfway through whispering the magic word, Override roared in anger. “No!” Electricity shot through the air and hit Jack in the shoulder. He felt himself fly through the air and land back on a filing cabinet, the whole thing coming down in a flurry of paper and crashing metal. Immediately knowing that something was wrong, Race began speaking directions through the earpiece. The thunder of Override’s clouds were booming. The pain in Jack’s arm was overwhelming. The darkness crossing over his mind was welcomed with open arms.

When Jack awoke, he was alone, cold, and the Dean of Finances’ office was ransacked. The police report would later detail a missing file, belonging to a freshman named Les Jacobs.

&&&

He had never seen him before, but now that Jack Kelly knew Davey Jacobs, he was everywhere. In the third row of his Gender and Politics lecture, behind the counter at the local ice cream shop, in the university library shelving books, riding bikes with a girl with a shock of red hair streaming behind her. Normally it wouldn’t be big deal, but Davey also made it a point to talk to him whenever possible.

The first time they ran into each other (outside of that terrible group project) was midway through a study session at Racetrack Sweets with Race. He liked to joke that the shop was named after him, or liked to impress people by lying and saying his grandfather opened up the place. In reality it was just a sweet coincidence that came with cheap ice cream in interesting flavors. Jack was halfway through a Fireball Fury (Redhots chopped into a french vanilla bean. Much better than it sounded.) when Davey strolled into the store, tying a bright blue apron around his waist. Looking quickly away to avoid any awkward conversation, he focused on the history textbook in front of him.

“Jack!” A bright voice called out behind him. He’d been spotted.

Jack looked up with a smile on his face, awkwardly closing the book and scooting his chair around. “Hiya, Dave.” He waved.

Davey pulled out an ice cream paddle and went to work. “How’s your essay going?” He questioned, while his hands were busy scraping cream around the frozen tabletop. They had an essay due in week detailing the life of a person who had changed the course of literature not set in America. Jack had chosen Carol Ann Duffy, for obvious reasons. Mrs. Midas was the first poem to ever make him truly feel something.

Scratching the back of his neck, he blushed. “Honestly, I haven’t started. I’ve got too much on my plate with ARTH 321. How about you?”

“ARTH 321?”

“It’s Greek Art and Mythology with Daniels. I like it a lot, but it’s a ton of coursework.” Davey made a sympathetic face, and grabbed a container that looked like it had… dried flowers inside? What on earth was he making?

As he chopped the flowers into the ice cream, Davey started to ramble. “Funny that you bring up the Greek, because I’m doing my essay on Athena. And I know we weren’t really supposed to use a mythological figure, but you really can’t argue any other way that she hasn’t changed at least the idea of literature. As the goddess of wisdom, she allowed for women to be scholars and students in the Greek society, because men believed that if they didn’t let these girls learn, they would tick her off and she’d burn all of their books or something. With that summary, you can probably tell I haven’t started either. My brother’s been working me up too much lately to get anything else done.”

Jack tried to hide his smile, coy and bemused. This boy could probably talk for hours on end if someone let him. “What’s the matter with your brother?” He questioned.

“He’s a freshman here and he’s not taking school very seriously, I guess you could say.” Davey got quieter, still adding ingredients to the ice cream with practiced skill. “Lost all of his scholarship money and not really trying to make ends meet.”

“Oh,” Jack muttered. “Sorry.”

For a moment, Davey looked lost in thought as he finished depositing the ice cream into a bowl. Shaking his head (as if that would clear the problems out) he walked out from behind the counter. “A problem for a different time. Right now, I’d like you to try this,” and he placed the bowl in front of Jack.

Before Jack could question it, Davey was talking again. “On the house. It’s my own creation, Rosewater and Lemon Cream. Probably doesn’t sound that appetizing, but it’s really good, I promise.” Jack cautiously put a spoonful in his mouth but soon began eating it as fast as he could without a brain freeze.

“This is delicious!” He said in between mouthfuls.   

Davey tried to hide his smile, sweet and slightly prideful.

&&&

The rest of the week was fairly peaceful, and Jack bought a bottle of rosewater on Amazon. They said it was for skincare, but it reminded Jack of something a bit sweeter.

Until Thursday night, when a small fire broke out behind a Del Taco and witnesses saw a ‘cloud of light.’ The register was emptied out and there was a burn trail that went on for a mile and a half. Dr. Creation was back in business.

Jack was tiptoeing behind buildings, trying not to draw any attention towards himself, following the boy. He was muttering to himself, angry, frustrated, throwing bolts of lighting at the ground that would simply cause a dramatic spark. His energy was all off. He wasn’t a composed villain committing well-organized crime. Override carried an edge of desperation on his back as he continued walking.

Eventually, the villain stopped in the middle of an alleyway and slid down against the brick wall. Jack paused for a second, feeling sympathy for the man. This moment seemed too private to intrude upon, even if it was on someone who just robbed a 24 hour fast food chain. From the quiet trail he was making, Jack could hear the quiet sobs.

White box, white paper, blue writing. “Materialize.”

“Care for a tissue?” Jack held out the box.

In a flash, Override was standing up. The air crackled around him and sparked out greens and yellows. “What are you doing here?” His voice sounded thin and watery. Exactly what you would expect from someone sitting in a New York City alleyway, audibly sobbing.

Jack threw the box at his feet, not wanting to get hit. “Not here to fight today. I promise.” The energy lessened as the man warily eyed the tissues and slowly bent down to grab them. He quickly spun around and blew his nose, wiped at his eyes, and straightened back up. This is my chance, Jack thought. Now or never.

A swift kick in the back of his knees shot him to the floor, and Jack had him pinned before he could shoot any lightning. He spat at Jack, desperately trying to fight out of the embrace, but Jack jabbed at his chin in return. Override twisted over and almost flipped Jack onto his back, but then was overpowered by the flash of a dull, silver blade.

“I don’t want to hurt you, man. I just want you to stop.” Jack pleaded, holding the knife with a shaking hand. He had never killed anyone. He was a hero, for God’s sake. Heroes did not kill people.

Override bared his teeth, but his arms went limp under Jack’s grasp and the finality of the situation was etched on his face. Jack had finally won.

“Now,” Jack said smugly. “Who the hell are you?” He used the hilt of the blade to hike up the mask covering the boy’s eyes and-

Oh.

“Davey?”

Override’s eyes went wide with fear. “How do you know me?” He asked, voice thick with tears again. He started to struggle against Jack’s bonds again when Jack whipped off his own mask in response.

“Dave! Dave, it’s- it’s me.” The mask was flung to the side, and with it, his voice modulator. He was suddenly just Jack Kelly wearing an awful lot of spandex. He suddenly felt incredibly ridiculous. Then he remembered exactly what situation he was in. “What the hell, man!” Jack roared, holding the blade of his knife to Davey’s throat. “You’ve almost killed me like, a dozen times! You dropped me in a lake! I have scars that’ll never heal! You almost killed me! I almost died-”

“I know!” Davey yelled back. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “If I had known it was you, I would’ve never-”

Jack cackled maniacally. “What! Never would’ve left me to die in our goddamn Finance offices? Never would have shot at me with lightning?”

“You think I was just doing this for fun? That I enjoy this?” His voice didn’t sound that far off from crying again.

Jack sat back on his heels and pushed his shoulders down again, still keeping Davey pinned to the floor. “Then explain.”

Davey looked at a loss for words, just for a moment. He hadn’t been expecting a show of grace from the boy whom he had almost murdered on multiple occasions. “Well,” he started cautiously. “I’ve been able to do all of this since I was thirteen. It was just a party trick until a few years ago when I saw that I could probably do something more than shock people to make their hair stand up. My sister helped me make a suit that would burst into flames every time I put it on, and I went around the city stopping petty crimes and so have you. Back then they nicknamed me Static Electric.” Static Electric sounded oddly familiar to Jack. He was a big deal when Jack was first figuring out his powers. “But my sophomore year here, someone shot at me. I hurt my leg really badly and my sister begged me to stop, so I did. It was only a few months ago that I started up again. I renamed myself Override, because that always sounded cooler in my head.”

Jack took a moment to process everything. Static Electric was a tall man who went around zapping at burglars stealing old ladies’ purses, not carrying a cloud of electricity to the nearest register and demanding its contents. There was even a cry for help to Static when Override first started to take his power. The heartbreak was so overwhelming when no one came to the rescue, Jack knew he had to do something.

“What happened to you?” Sadness dampered his tone, all of the anger diminished.

Davey looked ashamed and turned his head toward the brick wall next to him. “My brother lost all of his scholarships. My parents both work two jobs. My sister’s in graduate school. One of us would have to drop out, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be me.” His chest heaved. “I did what I had to do.”

Metal cuffs. Green wiring. No room for escape. “Materialize.”

“Put your hands behind your back,” Jack said tiredly. The game was over. He had finally won.

&&&

Jack burst through the dorm room door, making Race drop his cup of coffee. “What the fu-” He stopped mid sentence, burning liquid dripping down his leg.

Davey stood tall in their room, bits of electricity running up and down his body. The handcuffs around his wrists had a bright green glow that cast an ominous shadow onto Jack, who was holding the boy still. “This is Davey Jacobs, but you know him as Override. He’s got some explaining to do.”

hello les said #dumbassrights and so did davey

[jq37]

well. that was it.

**spoilers for prompocalypse  part 2**

Y'all this is it. The end-end. The last recap, at least for Fantasy High.

I honestly could have gotten this up yesterday but I wanted to give myself a hot sec before it was really over. 

But, no way out but through. Let’s get to it. 

We start back up right where we left off with no break in between. Cast still freaking, Brennan still gaping. 

“What the Fuck.” –Brennan 2019

Anyway, Kristen once again appears in corn heaven and she’s very not chill about it. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. On the plus side, she runs into Doreen in heaven who is young and hot again (which I’m sure Fig would appreciate knowing) and also apologizes for her traumatizing speech to Adaine during her death.

Helio playing beer pong. I wonder if that was always a facet of his personality or if Brennan just decided to yes-and all of Ally’s suggestions of him being a frat bro.

The angels being like, “Please be nice to God. He’s our dad,” was kinda adorable. 

“Why are you dressed like a weird stripper?”/“It’s too hot in here. He’s the sun!”

So while the gang has been living out Breakfast Club + Stranger Things, Aguefort has been Weekend and Bernie’s-ing Heaven apparently. I want to say wild, but tbh that’s pretty on brand for him. The wild part is that he was able to knock out GOD. Like, how even?

Aguefort tells Kristen that Sol is one god of many and she says, “Cool, I always thought that,” as if this is new information but, living in a D&D world, shouldn’t she definitively know that already? Like, the gods in fantasy worlds are pretty blatant about letting their presence be known and there are clerics/paladins who aren’t Heleoic but still have powers. 

OK I have a bone to pick with Ms. Kristen Applebees. You get a chance to talk to the primordial source of all divine power and magic and you (1) ask who you’re allowed to bone and (2) create a TERRIBLE god. Just truly TRASH. She created a reaction gif god. It’s not even a physical representation of the concept. Like, I thought she meant something like Yass from Wreck it Ralph 2 but no. Just a literal Yes! Like, you can trash talk Helio when you come up with something better, girl. Also, wild that you can just…walk into a room and do that. Like you have to knock out Sol first but still. Wild.

“You’ve created a new deity and already you’re fed up with it. I would say that’s par for the course.”

I low key thought Kristen was going to get the option to deify herself. I think because I had just rewatched The Gamers: Dorkness Rising and that figures in to the plot. But, thinking about it, she wouldn’t have gone for that I don’t think.

Aguefort flipping out at Kristen saying that friendship is the greatest magic of all, and rightfully so. That’s BS.

Since when does Kristen have dog tags?

Anyway, as we all suspected, the chronomancy line from episode 1 wasn’t a random line of dialogue, it was a chekhov’s gun. 

I mentioned this in an earlier post. Brennan didn’t seem too concerned that the party was wiping and I think this is why. I think he had two paths for this fight to take. In one, Riz successfully rolled for police and like 6 helpful NPCs plus his mom show up. That’s enough to beat the dragon without dying and Aguefort shows up having Die Hard-ed his way out of heaven. In the other, Kristen dies, goes to heaven, and basically that same series of events happens. Chronomancy saves the day. I think he was shocked because the roll dovetailed so perfectly with the story beat. 

“Is Arthur Aguefort black? Hell yes. My brotha.” Gonna be honest, I basically had that same reaction when they showed his character portrait in ep 1.

Kristen and Arthur jump back into the battle and Arthur gets possessed by Mr. Gibbons. I guess he’s just been hanging around as a ghost this whole time? Because this seems to lend credence to the theory that that’s who possessed Fig in the arcade but didn’t we see him go to the afterlife (which, I have a question about that too later). But I feel like that must have been Brennan’s way of sidelining him for the fight so they didn’t have like a level 20 wizard making it too easy.

“Oh, and Jawbone!” Murph loses it. 

Jawbone stuck in Goldenhoard’s mouth like that meme of the dog smiling, stuck in a fence.

Gorthalax is like, “I don’t feel great sleeping next to this dude.” Fig meanwhile is all, “I wanna sleep between his legs.” She says this at least twice. 

So everyone just have a freaking picnic and takes a nap in the middle of this fight. Can’t say I saw that coming exactly.

Fabian tries to stab Dayne, who is already dead, during the time stop.

“What the fuck do they teach you at this school?”

“Are you talking about the time thing or–”/“Yeah Gorgug! The time thing!.”

“We’re gonna kill this motherfucker, sweetie.”

I love Sklonda so much.

Jawbone is a salad guy.

OK so I know people were shipping Sklonda and Gilear and it was like, “But how would that work with the height difference?” so Brennan, the absolute madman, decides to pair her with the GIANT DEMON???

Adaine about Gilear: Cucked again.

Everyone treating the DRAGON like a JUNGLE GYM.

“It’s basically Jeb Bush’s Campaign.” Ally, with the fury of 1000 suns: EXCUSE ME?

“I bless, [Riz], your mom, and [Fabian.] Are you the only ones with vendettas?”

“I think we’re all pretty blessed.” Gorgug/Zac is so good.

Adaine, who has all the wisdom and intelligence points of the entire party at the moment: You need to stay safe because the reason that we died is that you died. 

The shot that shows everyone on the giant dragon and then the foreground fuzzes out and shows Adaine a safe distance away in the background is hilarious. 

Ice guitar pick. Sweet.

Yeah, Siobhan really shoulda got healing potions out of her jacket, not the freaking wand. Hilarious. The only thing helpful about that was it hinted he was vulnerable to frost damage which they could have guessed. 

I wonder what Brennan had in his notes about the freaking city in Adaine’s jacket. It’s wild they weren’t more curious about that.

I low key loved Emily buffing Murph the whole fight.

“Hell yes Sklonda!”

Ragh: Giving a gay pride speech./Adaine, who doesn’t want to get knocked out again: STAB HIM IN THE DICK DUDE.

And, speaking of, OWWW.

Fig shapeshifting to Dayne. The hell Emily!

And another eye gouging.

Fabian is incapable of doing a single thing without doing some ridiculous parkour stunt first. 

Kristen,not twenty minutes after Riz said it would be crazy to go inside the dragon: Can I climb inside the dragon’s mouth? (Adaine: KRISTEN!)

Gorgug saving Skonda and Riz going, “Thanks for saving my mom!” from across the room.

Brennan is narrating the epic final battle and what cool thing everyone is doing and Kristen is just being digested. 

Riz was my second choice for the coup de grace until it turned out that Kal ate his dad and then he was my first choice. Riz!!!!

What a badass moment for him. The image of him casting a shadow on the wall is super dope.

Everyone flipping off Kal as he dies.

Riz and Sklonda are making dragon casserole bay-bee! 

MURPH FAILS WITH BARDIC INSPIRATION AND BLESS AT A 12 DC.

Aguefort. What a chaos monster.

“I fucked that bird! It is my paramour!”

Hold up, hold up, hold up. Did Kristen’s freaking Yes god kick Sol out of his own freaking heaven? WHAT?

I love that what Adaine got out of this experience was, “Wait, so my powers are bullshit?”

“Everything in this world is bullshit, Ms. Abernant.” Preach.

“So is the sun just a yes now?”/“Maybe.”

Literally 6 cop NPCs. Like they all seem like they’re morons but I’m sure it would have helped!

“Fuck it dude, it’s worth asking.”

“Are you my dad?”/“I was about to ask you the very same thing.”/“What?”

“TAKE HIS EYE. CUT OUT HIS EYE. YOU WANT ME TO BITE IT OUT FOR YOU?”

Brennan really likes the word bud.

Freak the fuck out all the time and just fuck things up. 

They got their ice cream later! And Adaine says thank you to Basrar, even though he’s not even there.

Adaine as the 7 freed maidens (way to go Sandra-Lynn) are re-killing Goldenhoard: Us and them are the only good students.

Gorgug’s nat20! What a WILD time for the dice to give that to him.

“You gotta ask. I ask everyone if they’re my dad.”

Gorgug’s dad (Gorbag) has just as low an intelligence score as his son. It’s hilarious but also sweet.

THE VULTURE

I thought that Digby and WIlma just found Gorgug in the woods? Maybe I’m not remembering right. I would guess that was their version of the stork story but they straight up told him what docking was so…

“Do any other federal agents want to step to Arthur Aguefort on the grounds of his school?”

The Aguefort way!

I wonder what Sam has to say about her former BFF selling her out like that and also getting murdered.

It seems like Gorgug was put on the guest list for hell by accident (his relieved reaction was adorable) but I thought that was orc heaven?

Interesting Gorthalax still has pull in hell when he’s a high school coach now.

BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

How did he watch the fight? Do they have pay per view in hell?

“I doubt Cathilda will end up here.”

Bill is just such a maniac. I love him so much. I wanna say I can’t believe that killing the devil dril tweet was serious but I can. It’s Bill.

Bill and Fabian having a casual convo in HELL.

Oh my God, Fabian’s mom stabbed Bill’s eye out and he proposed on the spot. No wonder Fabian is so into Aelwen. It’s in his DNA.

What a dope ship.

I can’t believe Emily tricked me into thinking that her end speech wasn’t in service to some nonsense. She held it together for so long but I should have known bc it’s EMILY.

“Young lady, I have no idea who that is and I’m telling you right now yes. I will make whoever that person is vice principal.”

Adaine: Uhhhh….we should find Zayn.

Aww, Zayn’s parents were also terrible elves. 

Unwanted Wingwoman Kristen Applebees

lol at Adaine casting Ray of Sickness on everyone suggesting she date ghost Zayne. Great callbacks to the early eps all around. 

Don’t @ me, but Adaine w/ a ghost boyfriend who also had terrible elf parents might be kinda sick.

“Tomorrow, we’re gonna start training you on how to actually swordfight.” Uhhh, I kinda love Fabian’s mom now?

She literally hasn’t been sober in 15 years. Icon.

“I didn’t know you spoke Tornado.”

Siobhan’s late season tendency to just flip things/people off is hilarious.

Wild that Adaine’s parents just legit DITCHED her that hard and she was like, f ‘em. Clean break.

“She’s helping me spread something.”

Gorgug has so many friends now!!!!!

Lol, Fabian’s whole journey has just been about becoming captain of the Owlbears.

Riz got his PI License. 

Lou and Fabian immediately being so mad at the idea of his mom (Hallariel?) getting with Gilear. Emily/Fig having an equal but opposite reaction. 

“Mama, I will kill this man.”/“I’ll kill you first, it’s not up to you.”

Sandra-Lynn gets with Jawbone. Did Brennan just roll to pair up everyone?

Also, the group is almost all related or quasi-related now. Gorthalax got with Sklonda which makes Fig and Riz sorta siblings. Gilear got with Hallariel making Fig and Fabian sorta siblings. Jawbone sorta adopted Adaine and he got with Sandra-Lynn, again making Adaine kinda siblings with Fig. Plus Fig claimed Gorgug as a sibling a lot of eps ago and if Kristen sticks with Tracker then she’ll marry into this mess. Crazy!

Fabian totally dipping on the sequel hook because he’s gonna be busy trying to break Aelwen out of jail.

I’ve been keeping up with the fanart but there was some in here I hadn’t seen and it was super dope!

I’m so glad we had the after epilogue-epilogue. It was a very nice send-off.

Adaine using her oracle authority to get Zayn back into school! She’s so good. 

Lol and she helped Basrar so he can grant other wishes. I love that this is the NPC that she decided she was going all in for.

Riz and Adaine join AV club! Idk why I love that detail.

Riz cutting off Adaine’s very good question about her jacket w/ his PI talk.

“They’re our rivals.”/“Into it.”

“Is ‘The Ball’ not your real name?” I love Fabian so much.

Zac doing Gorgug’s excited crack-y teenage voice when he’s just concentrating on that and not playing the game is so adorable. He’s just so sweet and enthusiastic and a good kid.

“Guess that tin flower worked, huh?” I cry.

I love that Gorgug’s happy ending is basically just that he has friends now. And that’s literally all he wanted starting out. 

“FIG! GO TO BARD CLASS!”

Aww, Ragh and Gorgug are friends now.

I knew it! I at some point pitched the idea of Ragh ending up with one of the AV guys so he would be w/ someone who had enough intelligence to keep him from dying and I’m 90% sure it’s somewhere on my blog but I can’t be bothered to find it right now. But anyway, he’s in the lgbt club w/ Ragh and Kristen so it’s def a possibility! 

“My bitch sister? Don’t you fucking dare.” (lol, if that happens then the group will be even more related)

Fabian considering recruiting the Cubbys for his rescue attempt of Aelwen.

“Gilear!” I love that Fig loves Gilear now but still calls him by his first name.

And that was Fantasy High! 

I have at least two more posts in the hopper: And epilogue retrospective type deal and also the official JQ37 ranking of all the adults in Fantasy High.

Thanks for sticking with me this far you guys. I can’t draw to save my life and I don’t really do fic so this is the one little way I can contribute to this thing I love so much. 

It’s been real and I’ll see you all soon for an epilogue because, no surprise, I have more things to say. 

[smokeybrand]

Hedgehog's Dilemma

The discourse among the anime community over the Netflix release of Neon Genesis Evangelion is hilarious to me. EVA is a staple of the art form. It’s this almost legendary beast of an animation, deconstructing the whole slice of life and mecha genres like a ravenous hyena tearing into a carcass. It’s one of the best shows i have ever seen and is, hands down, my all-time favorite anime. I literally judge every new show i see, against this one. I’m thirty-five years old. I watched this thing when it was new-ish to VHS, when I was a wee-sprout, way back in the late 90s. I remember the first time seeing Unit-01 go berserk on episode two when i was just twelve years old. I lost my sh*t. I’ve been singing NGE’s praises ever since. EVA is visceral, incomprehensible, passionate, aggressive, adorable, and very much genius. It is lovingly a product of it’s time but can translate to almost any era, like Akira and Ghost in the Shell. That’s how you know it’s special; That staying power. That chameleon effect. And with it’s acquisition by Netflix, a brand new generation of fans have access to this glory, to mixed results.

EVA has always been controversial, especially out here in the west. All of that Judeo-christian imagery gets under the puritan values of the American audience. To the japanese, and myself, this material is rife for conjecture. Christianity is no different to me than whatever the Greeks worshiped or that Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It’s just lore that can be used as inspiration for other stories and EVA is one of the best. The there’s that scene of a fourteen-year-old Asuka, nude in the bath after her breakdown. How about the way Misato creeps on Shinji during the NERV raid or the explicit and very much infamous scene from End of Evangelion. EVA has had it’s issues. Even now, the current Netflix dub is earning the ire from old-timey and diehard fans like myself because it blows. The voice actors themselves, are doing a fine job, but the scripts are absolutely terrible. And then there’s Kaworu. Oh, boy, Kaworu. It’s wild to see that, in this age of SJW and inclusion and pronouns and gay everything, that there is STILL a controversy for Mr. Nagisa. Like, for real, dude? None of that is what this rant is about though. No, this is about the reception Neon Genesis Evangelion has received by this new wave of anime fans.

The kids aren’t alright. They didn't know. Evangelion is a work of art, but it was also created by a crazy person who lost his mom, fell into a deep, suicidal, depression, and received so much stress from the death threats on an almost constant basis after the tone shift midway through the series, that he quit the show every week. EVA gets super dark, jarringly fast. Like, one episode everyone is happy and there’s picnics. The next, Shinji is murdering his friend by proxy Dummy System and having the most uncomfortable meltdown ever set to animation cell. That sh*t is wild to witness! Neon Genesis Evangelion is not for children. It's not for all of these Gen-Z kids who want a feel good time or some lofty, idealized, escapism. They were not ready for this sh*t. Not at all. We live in a world of lighthearted, isekai, fantasy, every season. Good time shonen sh*t like HeroAca dominates the popularity charts. They tug at the heartstrings occasionally but The worst thing most of these youngsters have ever seen is f*cking Attack on Titan. EVA is not that. Eva is so much more than that. EVA is SO much WORSE than that...

I think the dissent within the community about my favorite anime stems from the discrepancies between the original dubs and what Netflix has created. This new version feels a lot like a modern anime in a sense; the way it’s scripted and delivered. The way it presents these events. The thing is, though, EVA ain’t modern. It came out in the heyday of otaku culture, long after the Japanese real estate bubble popped and the recession was set in nice and heavy. During this time, there were no prospects, just despair, and EVA reflects that. You can't sanitize an apt depiction of depression, for a generation who confuses the inability to speak to the checkout clerk as a clinical anxiety disorder, by just rewriting a script. That doesn't work. It alienates the tone and message of the entire show. What you're seeing doesn't jive with what you're hearing and it comes across as disingenuous. At it’s core, EVA represents that feeling of helplessness in the same way that the original Gojira encapsulates and anthropomorphizes the national pain of the atomic bomb atrocity. You can't gloss over something like that with an SJW brush and keep the same emotion about all of it. I think that’s why EVA is so brilliant; it captured societal lightning in a bottle. In a world dominated by Japanese technology and the 90s recession just whispered about by the adults, kids these days don’t understand the utterly somber, borderline ominous tone, of what Evangelion represents..

EVA is a character study of broken people; One man’s attempt to compartmentalize the failing of the world around him. It’s a profound thesis on the Bad End, and kids these days, with all of their participation trophies and gold stars and snowflake mentality, can’t accept it. The concept of those type of hard times are foreign to them. They hate EVA because it doesn’t represent their understanding of how life is, or more aptly, was, back then. The current anime community simply can't comprehend that this is a snapshot of one of the most harrowing times for the anime industry and Japan, as a whole. They have no context for that sh*t and misconstrue their ignorance for disdain. The kids have been spoiled for a very long time and Evangelion challenges that entitled notion, something these young Millennials and burgeoning Gen-Zs absolutely hate. I think, though, in time, as the kids mature, their appreciation for EVA will grow. The more of life they live, the more of an understanding they’ll gain about somber the brilliance of this show.

We can’t always be whisked away to a brand new world where we’re the best thing around and people fall all over themselves to be a part of out harem. Sometimes, sh*t sucks. Sometimes it sucks for a long time. Sometimes we just need to get in the f*cking robot.

[hackedmotionsensors]

Im not updated enough w the ships but did stony get wincested? I mean like. In the SPN fandom the biggest ship if not only at first was wincest, and then a new ship appeared called destiel and totally overpowered it? Thered be the common drama of ship wars but i wanted to know if thats what happened?

lol I guess!?!?! Kind of. I don’t think it was so much of an overpowering as it was a massive butting of heads. SteveTony is still a very big ship but Stucky is also a very popular ship though fairly new since most of it stems only from MCU. Kind of different than a ship encompassing only a TV show.

So here’s what happened. The full damned story. Probably fft. its gonna be a long one folks so strap in. This isn’t really a call out but if you were curious as to why there’s so much damned fighting in the marvel fandom over really dumb shit this is an unbiased as possible explanation. Beware. I think the whole thing is dumb but I got some extra time right now.

Back in 2006 and 2007 Marvel Comics decided to have an event. You probably heard about it and they made a big movie about it. Civil War. Civil War was promoted as being a huge rift that cut down through the lines of the Marvel 616 Universe. Do you register and be accounted for your actions as a super human, or do you protect the privacy of yourself and your loved ones in an effort to fight without the limitations of government and the fear you might be policed and punished just for having powers AND put your family at risk of Supervillains (many who are tech geniuses) accessing your information and attacking your loved ones.

That was the premise. What it ended up being was a huge divorce between Steve and Tony. Like LEGIT it read as this HUGE divorce. They’ve fought many times before but they always sort of end up back together as buds. Now as fandom we took that full stop as they are clearly in love. They are divorced.

And now Steve is dead. LETS FIX IT. So since 2006-2007 a huge wave of new fans started writing fanfic. Started doing fanart. We got horny Commander Rogers when Steve eventually came back. Tony wiped his brain and we got fics from that. Steve creates his own team and refuses to give Thor and Tony to Luke to use as Avengers.

Then in 2008 Iron Man 1 is released. A bit later Captain America is released. Having known about the comics before and the rift between the two this is where yours truly gets involved. *Smash bros voice LYDIA HAS ENTERED THE HORNY GAME* 

Captain America being released is also I believe the start of Steve/Bucky. Because in this universe Bucky isn’t a small child/teenager (A Robin to Cap’s Batman) so its less gross. (All things being honest I definitely drew bottom steve with young Bucky hohoho ho)

So then in 2012 Avenger 1 is released. And there’s a fresh wave of MCU fans. A lot came over from being 616/Ultimates fans but a lot were brand spanking new fans. 

And then Winter Soldier was released. And it was a big gay romance between Cap and Bucky and the power of LOOVE!!!! AND FRIENDSHIPP!!!!!! Like in the WInter Soldier comics Steve has to use a cosmic cube to free Bucky’s mind and in the movie all it took was Steve Can-do attitude and his pure kokoro.  Its great.

However. This is when TENSIONS RISE. Stucky being a relatively new ship and SteveTony being a fairly old ship have one common denominator and that’s Steve. And its the typical well this ship is better than that ship. This ship is older than that ship. This ship has more MEANING than that ship. This ship is PROBLEMATIC. And its been going on to this day. It escalated again when Civil War came out. Becaus Civil War is supposed to be a Steve movie but reads as an Avengers movie. But the big point of the movie is like in the comics the splitting of Steve and Tony. A big damned divorce. Now is that divorce a divorce because they can’t find a common ground, or is it that Steve’s love for Bucky over-rides his rational thought and makes him fairly hypocritical because well shit he just loves Bucky so much. He says it to Wanda “Rumlow said Bucky and I...”

It was a movie just asking for shipping wars to happen.

So that’s WHERE this stems from. But here’s the issue. I have no doubt there are plenty of SteveTony fans causing just as much shit as anyone else. But at least from my experience, the Stucky fans have been far and wide more aggressive in harassing artists, even artists who don’t speak English as a first language, harassing the actors, harassing the comic book writers and artists who don’t have anything to do with movies, claiming that they’re homophobic for wanting to have a story with Bucky (who is still in love with Natasha [and that’s a whole other ship war there]) team up with Hawkeye (who is also still mostly in love with Natasha) to hunt down Natasha. When the author said “Hey this story doesn’t have gay people in it unfortunately but here are a list of comics that have gay characters in it” they ignored them and continued saying they were being transphobic. Because the person happened to be a trans man and disagreeing with them was transphobia. Which had nothing to do with what had happened at all. They’re the same fans that in person and over radio harass Sebastian Stan so much that he has to hide who he’s dating. 

They’re the same types of fans who call me a hateful cunt (which..probably true lbr) but I haven’t done anything recently. They’re the types of fans who come up to me at a con and whisper “Are you a stucky or a stony fan” And I (Because I was raised right) tell them “Oh I like both but I have a preference for Stony”. And then the person walks away. I’ve had friends tell me of their own horror stories at artist alleys where Stucky fans will open a book (clearly labeled as stevetony) go “UGH GROSS” and then put it down.

They’re the types of fans who refuse to watch an Iron Man movie but will say things like “I wish Tony would get captured and tortured by Hydra so he would know what Bucky felt like” (Which...omg that’s literally the first 20 minutes of the first iron man and the start of the MCU my dude)

They’ve attacked Thorki (and other ships and don’t get me wrong I get why people would complain about Thorki. Thorki;s generally know and don’t care about those complaints)

They’ve made entire articles on CBR, on Polygon on other internet news pages, as editors they’ve had some feisty tweets that causes some fans to worry that storylines they were enjoying (ex: Bucky/Natasha’s relationship) will get lost and destroyed in favor of a ship.

Now generally. This isn’t anything unusual. These fans exist in every fandom. And I have Stucky friends, (My BFF, one of my coworkers) and we get along just fine. Because we’re old ass ladies who realize that a ship doesn’t define our life. I think Stucky has some of the most jaw droppingly beautiful artwork this fandom has produced.

They just unfortunately have a lot of bad apples that seem to have only time to hassle other people and try to tear down other fans and have the loudest voices.

Also I’m 1000000% not saying that SteveTony fans probably don’t start as much shit as the rest but from my experience and from what I’ve seen SteveTony fans only ever bitch about Stuckys after the fact. After they’ve been hassled or saw something that was really rude or very non-canon complaints (if that last bit makes sense)

Oddly enough it kind of died down a little with the MCU killing half of the cast including Bucky (he’ll be fine I’m sure). But occassionally someone gets a lot of built up energy and wants to come into my ask box and tell me that I’m an elitist shipper.

PERSONALLY. I like to think of SteveTony and Stucky as Coke and Pepsi. You’re going to have a preference for one or the other. And you’re either gonna tell the waiter “I’d rather have a water” instead of the opposite one that you like, just agree and order what they have bc honestly who cares its basically the same or you’re going to be rude to the waiter, complain the entire time, leave a bad review on yelp and not tip him.

[rmpmw]

Big story today (see here) about Google talking to Verizon and Sprint, making deals for them to carry Google-based phones. Let me tell you something. We’re not worried in the least. For one thing, they’re just in talks. What that means in the world of telecom is this: Nothing. Eric hasn’t figured it out yet but wait till he sits through a bazillion mindless endless friggin meetings with these bozos. Yes, those carriers want something to counter the iPhone. So maybe they’ll be willing to play ball. But not the way Google wants them to. They’re already way too aware of how badly Google wants to kill them. They’ll make a deal but it’s going to be like one of those Hollywood marriages where some gay dude marries some starlet because it looks good in the tabloids but everyone knows that he really wants nothing to do with her.

Another drawback is that Eric is relying on hardware dopes to make the phones. He’s not controlling the experience. I know I’m maybe a bit extreme on this but as I see it unless you control the entire product — software, hardware, retail — you can’t deliver a truly extraordinary experience. In our case it’s bad enough we have to deal with the frigtards at AT&T but at least they mostly stay out of our way.

Another problem Google faces is simply that no matter how cool this phone is, no matter how many great features it has, there’s one key feature it will never have and that’s an Apple logo on the outside. Don’t misunderestimate this. It’s a hugely powerful factor. We’ve done studies on this. You can’t believe how many people buy our stuff just because it’s from Apple. We’ve got the hottest brand in the world. A bunch of Asperger sufferers from Mountain View might be great at making search algorithms, and the bandits who run AdSense are great at squeezing pennies out of gullible suckers, but trust me, it’s a different ballgame in consumer electronics and Google definitely does not have that in its DNA.

Look. We’ve seen one of these phones. Eric brought one over the other day. It’s fine. Nice looking enough. Works. Makes calls. The apps run. But it’s nothing overwhelming. You couldn’t put it in a plexiglass case and make nerds drool looking at it.

The real reason we’re not scared is that when Eric ran down the hall to the men’s room (he’s got this going problem that his doc says is a growing problem) we rifled through his briefcase and found out that the gPhone is scheduled to be released in 2008, but only in beta form, with a target date of 2011 for it to come out of beta. In other words, perpetual beta, just like everything else at Google. Who wants a phone that’s in beta? You know how easy it will be to message against that?

We won’t even have to do it. The Borg is going to take the lead on this one because they’re the ones who are really threatened. You think Monkey Boy is going to let Squirrel Boy come into the mobile phone space with a new platform that rivals Windows Mobile? You think Microsoft isn’t going to fight? Riiight. The FUD is going to be flying so fast and thick it’s going to feel like the front row at a Gallagher show.

Another piece of food for thought. In all these years Google has spent millions, maybe billions, trying to create an Act II for the company, some way to go beyond search and advertising. They’ve done the classic Valley thing — hire nerds, turn them loose to dream up wacky ideas, put some of those ideas out into the market, throw them against the wall and see what sticks. Only, um, in their case so far nothing sticks. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Sure the stock is at almost 700 bucks and the dopes on Wall Street are lapping it up but the truth is that out in the Valley people are starting to snicker. And if you look very closely at their quarterly results in the last couple of quarters you can see the cracks in the facade. Eric’s slapping financial patching plaster over them as fast as he can but there’s only so far you can go with that kind of stuff. Unless you’re IBM in which case apparently you can do it forever and nobody ever catches on.

But I digress. As far as I can tell, the gPhone is just another desperate attempt on Google’s part to dream up something besides search. And when the best you can do is copy something that others are already doing, and try to crack into an already overcrowded market, well, that’s not very promising. That’s not what I told Eric though. What I told him is that I think it’s a great idea and I’m sure Google will be a big success and there’s so much room in this smart phone market for all of us and aren’t we all going to do some interesting amazing things in the next few years? Then when he left (after taking yet another pee) we all just laughed our asses off. Peace out, sucka.

Posted by Steve at 7:15 am | 0 Comments | Links to this post

[bthump]

what would you like to change in berserk? actually im asking how the story would work without using rape as a plot device but also in general (characterization, plot etc.)

Ooh this is an interesting question, ty!

I wouldn’t change either Guts or Griffith’s backstories tbh, I think they’re actually pretty well done, and important to their characters and narratives without being the be all end all. Well, I’d like to make Gennon less of an evil gay stereotype and Donovan less of a scary black man stereotype but yk, other than those details the existence of rape in their backstories isn’t something I’d change.

With Casca… tough call. Her story is all about gendered violence to the point where if you got rid of the rape attempts you’d have to come up with a whole new story for her. But it’s still a shallower and less well-rounded depiction of abuse than either guts or griffith’s backstories, bc it’s so emphatically gendered, like, rather than informing her personality or her choices it’s just framed as being a woman.

So actually I guess for Casca what I’d change is (actually pretty obviously lol) her motivations. She’s not in love with Griffith, she idealizes his dream because she knows he wants to dismantle those power structures that fuck her over and create a place where those w/ power can’t easily abuse their power over others. She hates Guts not because she’s jealous of him (tho she could still be jealous of his emotional closeness with Griffith, like she’d still admire Griffith here even if she’s not in love with him and I like that rival dynamic), but because she recognizes that he could end up destroying Griffith’s dream.

Also I think we can still cut out most of the rape threats she gets while still showing that she has something to fight against. Maybe keep Adon being a gross dick (in all fairness he kind of mirrors Gennon towards Griffith which kind of shows how they’re fighting for the same dream - ie a world where those kinds of dudes are shut down) but have Casca just fighting for her life rather than against rape attempts as she runs from the 100 man fight.

So nothing really changes much until Guts comes back from his vacation. And now Casca is genuinely, genuinely angry and hateful towards him, because he did exactly what she’s been afraid he was going to do - destroyed Griffith’s dream, and her hope for a better future.

Which means they don’t have sex lol, Casca was never into Guts, they began a friendship towards the end of the war but nothing more. And now that Guts has come back Casca is actively hostile to him, though after Guts lets her stab him she probably forgives him a bit bc it’s not like he intended to destroy absolutely everything, and he’s clearly fucked up about it.

Also no suicide attempt.

So their dynamic during the rescue mission is resentful allies, like a throwback to their first three years knowing each other.

Wyald still happens but no attempted rape w/ Casca obviously.

Now when it comes to the Eclipse, I want it to be all about Guts, and I want it to hit the audience over the head with parallels to his childhood. It’s the Eclipse, it doesn’t need to be subtle. Rather than looking wistful when Griffith sacrifices everyone, I want Guts to look betrayed, I want him to look just as sad and horrified as he did when he was 11 and Gambino told him he sold him to Donovan.

Agh I’d hate to lose the creepy silent monster vibe from Femto, but something like a cold, “you’re still alive?” would be v fitting w/ the “you should have died” parallels. Tho idk I’m torn on that.

And ok I said I want it to be all about Guts but I can’t just kill off Casca. But if she’s gonna live the Eclipse needs some serious personal meaning for her too. So maybe her reaction to being sacrificed, knowing it’s for the dream she’s dedicated her life to and in theory she should be willing to give her life for it, and trying to reconcile that with the horrificness of the situation and her desperate desire to survive anyway. So she survives long enough for Femto to show up, because she’s not the third best fighter in the Hawks for nothing, and then…

torture? Femto has monsters hold Guts down and tortures Casca in a way reminiscent of a kid pulling the wings off a fly. She loses an arm, Guts keeps his because he’s too busy being utterly terrified and possibly flashbacking to hack his own arm off in a rage.

Like, one thing about the Eclipse rape, is that if Miura had to have it as a way of emotionally affecting Guts, how the fuck did he manage to draw like two chapters of awful awful shit with Guts being held down by monsters that he’d just watched rape Casca, and completely fail to allude to Guts’ own rape trauma? How. Hooooow it’s mind boggling. It’s absurd.

But you don’t even need the graphic rape for that, like hell, Miura has absolutely adequately set up the correlation between giant monsters Guts is compelled to fight and his own childhood trauma imo to justify Guts having a very emotional traumatic reaction to just being held down and made helpless by monsters after being essentially given to them.

There’s Black Swordsman Guts in a nutshell, and this is exactly what was implied to have caused him to go full traumatized amoral asshole. Before g*tsca was a gleam in Miura’s eye all he had were those parallels to Guts’ childhood trauma - Guts being given away to monsters by someone he trusted - and that’s all he needed.

So anyway, because Casca lives, she has her own reaction to being casually tortured by Femto before being rescued, which is also a replay of her childhood trauma but without the agency of killing her attacker herself with a sword. So her reaction could very well be similar to Guts’ - a desire to kill monsters and get revenge. Maybe she’s lost her idealism wrt the dream, and she’s more cynical now - a better world is impossible, best you can do is survive this one.

She and Guts go their separate ways because they’re barely friends, let alone lovers, and remember 2 brands = big ghost problems.

After this the narrative splits 3 ways between NGriff, Guts, and Casca.

I’m reaching the limits of my creativity lol. So I’m just gonna suggest that Guts gets the behelit, Casca gets the armour and the rpg group, Casca gets the moving on arc and hooks up with Farnese while maybe finding a happy medium between changing the world and lashing out against the world, and Guts succumbs to his inner darkness and gets a highly emotional confrontation with Griffith. Since he has the behelit maybe he uses it upon realizing that Griffith’s heart is still beating for him, bc the emotional conflict is just too much, and sacrifices Griffith to become a Zodd-esque apostle wandering battlefields and fighting for no reason, basically returned to his pre-Griffith state.

It’s probably shorter than 355 chapters too lbr. I’d say NGriff creates Falconia right before the confrontation with Guts, so yk he achieves his dream b4 ironically getting sacrificed. Otherwise his story doesn’t change much. Maybe stronger suggestions that he’s not as unemotional as he looks, to build up to a guts confrontation better.

Like… I’m not a very creative or good writer lol but I feel this general outline could be written in a very good and satisfying way by someone with talent, like Miura.

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