#dude fuck off
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
always nice to have someone tell you they physically recoiled from your art lmfao
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some dude at my school keeps snapping me and I'm pretty sure he wants me to give him a blow job despite never having met in irl.
Meanwhile, I'm sitting on the floor of my childhood bedroom building my childhood Harry Potter LEGOs.
Life is so much fun.
#dude fuck off#i dont want to have sex with you go AWAY#im going to block him im just distracted#harry potter#legos#lego harry potter
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
he just looked at me and said “he’s little” and i said “he’s not a boy or a girl, he’s just little?” and he said “yea”
i know you meant this as a sweet anecdote but it's actually very worrying if a child is defaulting to "he" like this already. he being default is sexism. get that kid saying they. the patriarchy has got its claws into him already, it's your job to pluck them out. no default he ever!!!
no offense but literally where do you get off telling strangers online how to raise children.
#ask#anon#not that i think this needs defending#but also for the record he doesnt know any pronouns yet#i didn’t accurately transcribe what he said so your issue is with me#he uses proper names for everything so he either said ''little'' or ''elephant little''#i didn’t think it really mattered when i was writing this text post for fun#in any case coming to my ask box to tell me the baby i nanny is a sexist was so out of line#???????#tell me how to do my job?????????#dude fuck off
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m so over this guy “i won’t marry a twelve year old that’s gross. instead i’m going to do the moral thing and marry a fifteen year old”
1 note
·
View note
Text
Just got told that if I wanted to keep my “girly figure” then I should stop eating whipped cream.
0 notes
Text
my ex tried to contact me after not talking for over a year a few months ago across the multiple platforms we were still connected on and I blocked and removed him from them and then this morning I wake up and he’s added me on fb
#dude fuck off#this might be dramatic but I’m glad he never came to my place cause like#now I don’t trust he’d not come to see me in person????
0 notes
Text
soooo lemme get this right lmao I have avoided spoilers and not watched Spider-Man 2 across or whatever for a year or so EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN SOOO HYPED UP like AND IT ENDS WITH A CLIFF HANGER?????? this feels like being in the theatre for matrix reloaded (which I was lmao) and at the end they tell me "to be continued..." ACTUALLY NO LMAO WHAT DO YOU MEAN
#i looooved the movie#but man lmao#I FUCKING HATE CLIFFHANGERS LIKE THAT#dude fuck off#thats not fun thats torture#i actually will NOT#fuck OFF#i think its cheap film making doing that#IM.NOT DONE#Make it two movies then#don't tell me.tp be continued at the end of onr#FUCKING COMMIT#MAKE TWO FUCKING MOVIES GODDAMN#or do a lord of the rings lmao#Dont tell me to be continued thats a cheap copout man
0 notes
Text
as someone who has recently started playing guitar i can say that intermediate guitarists are either really sweet or the WORST to deal with as a beginner. either so so sweet and genuinely passionate or the most egotistical annoying mansplainer assholes to exist. almost no inbetween.
#guitar#art discussion#dude fuck off#i just wanna learn how to make silly noises with this machine thingy
1 note
·
View note
Text
wait ew samsung's galaxy ai just straight up has built-in wallpaper generators
#dude fuck off#who the fuck is gonna think ''ahhh i wish my wallpaper was of a fucked up distorted object that's airbrushed as hell and makes no sense''#eXprEsS yOuR cReaTiViTy yeah wow so creative filling in pre-written prompts#they don't even let you type your own shit it's like a fucking fill in the blanks format#stuff like ''painting of a ___ with a ___ background and ___ lighting''#you can be more creative just fucking picking your nose and trying to find what animal your booger is shaped like ffs
0 notes
Text
y'know every time i feel guilty about bothering someone by singing along when i'm listening to music, i just remember that i have to tolerate my dirtbag brother screaming at his ps5 for hours every day so listening to muffled off-key fall out boy is probably preferable
#ramble#it's not loud btw it's just like. singing along in the car volume#not to get on my soapbox but there's a literal dent in his wall from his controller. and we're in the uk you CANNOT punch through walls#idk about anyone else but i've NEVER yelled at a video game?? like i'm absolute dogshit at 80% of them#and i've never had a PHYSICAL reaction beyond maybe 'ughh' then turning it off#if you're getting that angry maybe you just need to play different games because you're clearly not having fun#also added bonus that i didn't realise until adulthood. as a former daughter#cis son privileges are CRAZY#i don't even swear in front of my parents and my dude is just screaming actual slurs next door with NO consequences#like you wouldn't do that in public why is it ok to do it here#i think i've said fuck in front of my mum ONCE and i literally couldn't look at her the entire day#this is a box i am not ready to unpack yet akdhdh#is this just a my family thing or is this common
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me#yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai#and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X#dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU#for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
I don’t know if there really is any science behind workout routines separated by sex, but even if there is benefit to doing exercise “for women” i don’t give a shit. and i will intentionally seek out guides made For Men. because by and large, this is how the different video thumbnails shake out
#especially when you are explicitly looking at strength training but the focal point of the thumbnail is still thinness#and the girl always in something of this type of pose.#if there's a dude in the thumbnail w his shirt off also he's facing the camera directly and looking Bulky as fuck#so even that doesn't compare At All#but half the time it is literally a guy just talking. in the thumbnail.#anyway if you want to be strong as a Wamen you need to wear tight little yoga shorts first#sergle.txt#i'm not trying to get sexy i'm trying to get strong. killing you killing you killing you#I realize that fitness IN GENERAL is very Thinness and Attractiveness-centric but it's worse if you type 'for women'
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid
#that's the hottest thing I've ever heard I feel nuts#what an absolute chad alistair continues to be tbh there may be a day when men fail but it will not be when he's here#like I'm very sorry to the blond chantry boy repeat crowd but cullen could & would NEVER!!! they are NOT the same!!!!#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#alistair x warden#can u imagine what it must be like to be irving standing there watching this happen. you're free and your kid is dead. congrats#tried to free her from the circle and she's the sacrificial lamb that bought the circle's freedom instead. fuck dude#it does make for a very sad kind of symmetry that every time irving tries to get clever with it he triggers a monkey's paw situation fhdskj#I am replaying the game with my new canon (mistress amell + king alistair to save him from the da:i fade choice lol)#and in doing research I found out about this and had my world rocked. I've never had my warden die before so this is new to me#(my warden isn't dying in this canon to be clear she's going to be the reason no one would dare assassinate king alistair lol#nightmare bae eminance gris behind the throne/loving and supportive partner with a fade connection and a vengeful side#she's going to be like sam vimes tiredly fending off assassins as the watch books go on except she murders a lot more people back)#the way his voice breaks in the version where they were broken up tho... sick and twisted and mean to me specifically
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
So like, y'all know that popular Star Wars fic trope of Time Traveling Obi-Wan Kenobi where he dies and then wakes up in his 11ish year old body back in the Jedi Temple? You know how usually he wakes up, has a few minutes/hours of confusion, and then goes about trying to act like he was at age 11 while slowly fixing everything wrong with the Jedi Order? Personally I think he would not do that.
I think that Ben "Lived As A Wizard Hermit For Two Decades On Tattooine, Left, And Then Died Immediately" Kenobi would wake up as an eleven-year-old, have a panic attack, attack the nearest adult Jedi while accusing them of Doing Weird Sith Shit To His Brain, fucking flee, only then realize he has time traveled, steal someone's ship, go flying out of the temple to god knows where, continue panicking, crash into a random moon while distracted, nearly die, build a survival camp out of his broken ass ship and eat whatever bugs he can find, get kidnapped by pirates, overthrow said pirates, steal their ship, and then very calmly return to the Jedi temple like nothing happened.
Then and only then do I think he would start trying to act like a normal human person (while also dodging questions such as "what the fuck was that" and "where were you" and "is that a pirate's ship?"), except he'd be bad at it due to having lived as an Insane Wizard Desert Hermit for the past twenty years who has experienced enough trauma and time that he doesn't super well remember the details of his childhood, what with all of the wars and death and wars and such.
His acting convinces nobody, but nobody is sure what exactly to do about All Of That so he's for the most part left alone (after very vehemently refusing sptherapy), all the way up until he catches a glimpse of palpatine out of the corner of his eye and then its On Sight
#mads posts#star wars#obi-wan kenobi#specifically i see fics where he gets blasted back to the past and he genuinely acts like he's 11 or whatever age again#and im like NO thats some fuckin weirdo inhabiting the body of an eleven year old#thats a fiftyish year old dude who looks eighty and thinks the best way to train Newly Discovered Force-Sensitive Luke is to blindfold and#shoot at him#he spent twenty years fucking around in a desert and left the planet one (1) time to go rescue leia#he cannot in any way act like a normal child are you kidding me#he was only ever 'normal' during the clone wars because he was standing next to Anakin 'hey watch this' skywalker#actually i think if obi wan were to try to act like a normal kid of the age he appears he would either wildly over or undershoot#he'd be like. huge eyes and babytalk and innocent expressions OR he'd forget he doesn't alr know the nuances of the Alderaanian government#but he couldnt pull off 'totally normal guy dont mind me'#obi wan doesnt manage to oneshot palpatine btw. that would be too boring#he steals the nearest available lightsaber and Goes For It and obv is stopped due to being shaped like a baby and having the strength of on#and then again refuses to answer any questions
609 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thinking about Black Widow Luo Binghe.
Hear me out -- so just like in canon, Shen Qingqiu self-destructs to save Luo Binghe, dies, and Luo Binghe steals his body to put on ice while he looks for methods to resurrect him. But unlike in canon, staving off decomposition is simply not that doable for a matter of years, even with cultivation and Luo Binghe pouring qi into the process. The qi costs are still high, so is Xin Mo, and now Binghe also needs a special artifact that can actually preserve Shen Qingqiu, but that runs on blood sacrifices.
To get the thing working, Luo Binghe feeds it a bunch of prisoners from the Water Prison. Then he starts kidnapping cultivators to drain for his own qi reserves, but that's difficult, controversial, and he can't use the same victims for the blood sacrifice afterwards. Frankly, between one thing and another it would be easier to satisfy Xin Mo with dual cultivation, and focus on finding victims for Shizun's Snow White style glass preservation coffin without having to choose between using targets for one or the other. Especially given that, if he finesses it, Luo Binghe can extend the use of his sacrifices and get more out of them with fewer deaths that way.
He's pretty sure that Shizun would want fewer deaths.
Of course, he is not a fan of the logistics of the plan itself, but he'd do worse things to one day be reunited. He consoles himself that he's building up bedroom experience for one day being with Shen Qingqiu, and that it doesn't really count because his heart's not really in it, and also if Shizun got to spend all that time in brothels then it's only fitting that Luo Binghe be his equal in this as well. It still doesn't make it pleasant for him, but it makes him able to tolerate the necessity of it.
So Luo Binghe ends up marrying a string of rich and powerful figures -- mostly the villainous single fathers and mothers and evil uncles of harem members from PIDW, rather than their daughters -- and coming up with creative ways of making all their deaths a few months into the process look like accidents. After the third one people are undeniably wary of marrying him, but there's always someone with a big enough ego to think they'll be an exception, or stupid enough to believe that it really has just been so much bad luck up to that point. It helps that the universe is predisposed to let him hit it.
When SY wakes up in the shroom body and hears about Luo Binghe's succession of marriages, he's not surprised. What he is surprised by is the bisexual graveyard of toxic dilfs and milfs that has replaced the harem.
What did he do to cause that?!
And what does Luo Binghe mean that he wants to marry his own shizun now? Is this his new method of revenge??? Binghe, you don't have to marry someone to kill them!
#svsss#scum villain#scum villain's self saving system#bingqiu#shen qingqiu trying to figure out if binghe somehow badly misconstrued the core concept of 'fuck marry kill'#also shang qinghua in this setting just like 'I don't know how we unlocked this mode where is the off button oh god'#at the same time like look he respects that his king has mixed feelings about his own evil uncle#but he's definitely throwing that dude onto the sacrificial marriage altar of bingbing's black widow spree#good luck linguang jun#rest in pieces i guess#sqh probably helps steer binghe in the direction of suitable targets in exchange for never ever becoming one himself lol#sha hualing pivots from 'you should marry me' to 'actually I think you should marry my dad'
870 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm whoring out my current favorite band with the most effective strategies I know. Go listen to Kanonenfieber.
Here's a beginner's playlist I made. Come back and talk to me if you like what you hear.
#mcives#kanonenfieber#using my reach for alternative purposes#y'all come on look at those guns dude#also if you're concerned with the aesthetics i promise they're safe#i've checked the abm subreddits top to bottom to check if they've been flagged#Spotify#this is so fucking funny because i was just minding my own business watching live shows#i had no idea noise was packing all that until he took off his stupid jackets#canon fever wow
415 notes
·
View notes