#dua to live with my husband

[duaamortaja]

*Urgent Humanitarian Appeal: The Family of Dua Needs Your Help**

Dear friends,

I am writing to you today with heavy hearts and hope in your compassion. My name is Doaa, I am 25 years old, and I live in northern Gaza with my husband Basel and our three children: Osama, Kinan, and Zain.

Since the beginning of the war, our lives have become unbearable. Bombs began falling on our homes, causing severe damage and forcing us to leave. From that moment on, we have had to move multiple times within Gaza in a desperate attempt to find a safe place. Unfortunately, each move has exposed us to further attacks, resulting in injuries to me and our children on several occasions.

Since the war began, we have gone from a secure and stable life to a dire situation. We once lived in a stable home with a decent living, but now we have no home or shelter. Every day, we move from place to place, sleeping in streets and ruined houses, searching for something called safety, even though it doesn’t truly exist. ️

The pain and loss we have endured since the start of the war are indescribable. We have lost my parents, three of my siblings, their spouses, and their children. My husband has also lost his parents, siblings, and their families. With our home destroyed and my husband losing his job due to the war, our situation has become unbearable.

The children, who are our hope and future, are suffering greatly under these conditions. They have lost the most basic rights, such as education, as they can no longer attend school. They are also deprived of the essential medical care they need during these difficult times. They have no security or home to turn to, leaving them in a constant state of anxiety and instability.

The cost to leave Gaza is $5,000 for adults and $2,500 for children, in addition to other living expenses that we cannot afford.

We appeal to you with humility and a plea for your kind hearts. We urgently need your support to cover the travel costs and secure a safe future for our children. Every donation, no matter how small, will be a beacon of hope in these dark times.

Please share this appeal and our campaign with anyone who can offer assistance. With your help, we hope to find a way out of this nightmare and secure a better future for our children. ️

With deepest sorrow and hope,

Dua and Family

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

Now that I have your attention:

[asma-al-husna]

Allah calls Himself As-Samee’— The Hearing, The Ever-Listening— on 45 occasions in the Quran. He is the One whose hearing and attention comprehends everything. As-Samee’ hears every word, thought, and secret, and He listens to every voice. As-Samee’ listens and pays attention to everything, perfectly, eternally, and without any limits!

The All-Hearing, The Ever-Listening

Samee’ comes from the root seen-meem-‘ayn, which refers to four main meanings. The first main meaning is to hear and to listen, and the second to accept and receive. The third main meaning is to pay attention to and the fourth is to understand the meaning.

This root appears 185 times in the Quran in 10 derived forms. Examples of these forms are sami’a (to hear, to listen), tusmi’u (to make hear), and as-sam’a (the hearing).

Linguistically samee’ is on the structure of intensification. As-Samee’ refers to the perfection and the totality of Allah’s hearing, which cannot be compared with the hearing of any other created being.

As-Samee’ Himself says: Our Lord! Accept this service from us: For You are the All-Hearing, the All-knowing [Quran, 2: 127] . . . If I am astray, I only stray to the loss of my own soul: but if I receive guidance, it is because of what my Lord reveals to me. He is All-Hearing, Ever-Near. [Quran, 34:50] . . . And Allah hears your discussions. Lo! Allah is All-Hearing, All-Seeing. [Quran, 58: 1]

No secrets for As-Samee’

As-Samee’ hears every single sound, every rustle of the tree, every voice, and every thought. Our most secret speech is an open declaration before Allah. As-Samee’ tells us: It is the same to Him whether one of you conceals his speech or declares it openly; whether he lies hidden by night or walks forth freely by day. [Quran, 13: 10] Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: Glory be to Allah whose hearing embraces all voices. The woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, with her plea. She had a grievance against her husband. I was in the corner of the house and did not hear what she said. Then Allah revealed: Allah has heard the plea of the woman who pleads with you . . . [An-Nasaa’i, Ibn Maajah]

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Watch that tongue.

How many times have you watched your mouth when certain people were around, like your parents, a teacher, or your boss? As a Muslim one of your tasks is to guard your tongue, anytime, anywhere, and in any company.

Parents sin if they use inappropriately harsh or curse words while disciplining the children. As-Samee’ told us: Not a word does he (or she) utter, but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it). [Quran, 50:18] Use your tongue wisely so that your words will not be something that keep you from the gates of Jannah.

2. Study the etiquette of speech for a Muslim.

How do you know if your speech is pleasing to As-Samee’ if you do not study His book and the sunnah of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him? Learn about the prohibitions of the tongue, like backbiting, swearing, and lying. Study the types of speech As-Samee’ loves to hear from you, like dhikr, good advice, kind words to others, and reciting the Quran.

3. Ask As-Samee’ in salah.

Did you know you have seven places where you seek As-Samee’ with supplications in your prayer? You can do so after the first takbeer, and on some occasions before bowing, also while bowing, when you rise from bowing, during your prostrations, between the two prostrations, and at the very end of the prayer before you say your Salaam. Make use of these times to ask for whatever (halaal) you want in this life and the next.

4. Be comforted by As-Samee’.

When Allah ‘azza wa jall sent Musa and Harun to confront the Pharaoh, He comforted them with the words: Fear not. Indeed, I am with you (both); I hear and I see. [Quran, 20:46] As-Samee’ hears and answers your prayers, so invoke Him and supplicate to Him. Remember— dua’ is the weapon of the believer and can make the mountains shake.

5. Seek refuge in As-Samee’.

The Prophet Muhammad, salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to seek refuge with Allah from four things, including a prayer that goes unheard:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ عِلْمٍ لَا يَنْفَعُ وَمِنْ قَلْبٍ لَا يَخْشَعُ وَمِنْ نَفْسٍ ‏لَا تَشْبَعُ ‏ ‏وَمِنْ دَعْوَةٍ لَا يُسْتَجَابُ لَهَا‏

O Allah, I seek refuge in You from knowledge which does not benefit, from a heart that does not entertain the fear (of Allah), from a soul that is not satisfied and the supplication that is not answered. [Muslim] The Prophet did not mean that he feared Allah would not hear the prayer itself, but rather that Allah would leave the prayer unanswered!

6. Ask As-Samee’ to bless your hearing.

Allah As-Samee’ loves those who use the abilities He gave them for His sake. Did Allah give you ears to listen to gossip or music? Did He give you a tongue so He could hear swearing and lying from you? Ask Him to help you to use your hearing and your tongue only for things pleasing to Him.

7. Pick the right words.

A true believer would never intentionally give reason to others to be doubtful, nor hurt their feelings in any way. You must ensure, as far as possible, that what you say is heard and understood by all involved; pick your words with wisdom.

8. Feel ‘sami’Allahu liman hamidah’.

Next to the amazing Hearing of Allah, The beautiful name As-Samee’ also means He answers our prayers. After bowing in prayer we say: sami’Allahu liman hamidah (Allah hears the one who praises Him). We know that Allah hears us; this means that Allah answers those who praise Him and seek Him in prayer. Now every time you say sami’Allahu liman hamidah, feel that Allah is The All-Hearer and make the intention to strive that He only hears good from you.

O Allah, As-Samee’, we know You hear every sound and thought. Aid us to watch our tongues and use them for Your sake only, protect us from foul speech, bless our tongue and our hearing, and make us of those whose prayers are answered, ameen!

[ironwoman18]

A Match made in heaven

Disclaimer: The characters or the main plot of Spy x Family belongs to me and the song Physical belongs to Dua Lipa and the composer of the song. Only the idea for this story is mine.

This idea came to me while I was listening to this song. I didn’t have the idea clear until I sat down and started to write it. It’s short but I hope you enjoy it.

By the way, I mentioned an event that happened in the Manga 103, it is just a small mention so, if you read it you will know, if you didn’t it won’t be a spoiler.

Common love isn't for us We created something phenomenal Don't you agree?

It’s been a while since Yor and Loid discovered their secret identities and both felt like a weight was lifted off their shoulders. Now Garden and WISE did some missions together, especially the ones that required murders or a different approach.

Loid and Yor were OK with it and they even asked to work as a partner, which was accepted by their bosses. They were in love and wanted to protect the other, even when they knew that the other was capable of surviving on their own.

It had been six months since their reveal and they made the perfect team. Yor assassin abilities and Loid’s costumes and quick thought process were a match made in heaven.

You got me feeling diamond rich Nothing on this planet compares to it Don't you agree?

Yor was at peace knowing that they didn’t have secrets, even Anya told them about her powers and some of her experiences, that’s why Garden and WISE were after the people behind Apple Project and, probably, after the project Anya was part of.

It was difficult since they were a super secret wing of the government and they couldn’t find it as easy as they wished for.

But even with that, she couldn’t help but be happy about having a beautiful family and sharing moments together when they were free.

Who needs to go to sleep when I got you next to me?

Their missions were at night so they couldn’t put Anya in bed, especially when the mission needed them to be at a party. Loid had to use his costumes and mask but Yor didn’t need them since she never let anyone alive so they could identify her.

Some other nights they didn’t need to go sleep because they ended up making love in their, now official, married bedroom.

All night, I'll riot with youI know you got my back and you know I got youSo come on (come on), come on (come on), come on (come on)Let's get physicalLights out, follow the noiseBaby, keep on dancing like you ain't got a choiceSo come on (come on), come on (come on), come onLet's get physical

There was one mission where they ended up making a riot, they needed information and Yor was there as a back-up in case Twilight was found, and it happened. She began to use her sharp weapons to protect him and he stole a gun from a dead body and both, back to back, started to fight.

Her strength and stamina were amazing but his stamina was good as well. He had to keep picking up guns as she killed the men on their way to the exit while he covered her back with those guns.

They entered a room and he shot the light interrupter and they managed to escape, with the information they needed. Her husband was that good. They shared a kiss and left the house of their mission’s target.

Adrenaline keeps on rushing inLove the simulation we're dreaming inDon't you agree?Don't you agree?I don't wanna live another life'Cause this one's pretty niceLiving it up

They arrived home early in the morning and with the adrenaline still high, they took a shower and prepared for a school meeting where both parents needed to be.

But neither Yor nor Loid wouldn’t want it any other way. This life was perfect for them... Spy and assassin but above all of that... parents.

Hold on, just a little tighterCome on, hold onTell me if you're readyCome on (come on, come on)Baby, keep on dancingLet's get physical

They were sitting on the sofa, just holding each other. That day was quite eventful but if they have each other, they couldn’t have any other way. They were ready to do everything to protect this life, this peace.

Watching news about seals trapped in their canal or how happy others were by a day in the park playing with a dog... Those things were enough for them to never give up. Especially when that little girl sleeping in the other room is happy and safe.

They aren’t afraid to get physical if that means peace.

OOooOOooOO

I might leave this fanfic open in case I think of more songs to use for these two with the same theme. Them knowing each other’s identities.

If you enjoy it, let me know and there’s a song that could be used next time.

Thank you for reading.

[yasmijn]

A cold take on Past Lives (2023)

Aku nggak terlalu tahu sih apa yang aku harapkan dari film ini, tapi kayaknya setelah baca review orang-orang yang sangat positif aku mengharapkan lebih banyak perasaan dari Past Lives. Filmnya bukan yang biasa juga sih... bagus lah, tapi nggak sebagus itu. No tears, no pang in my heart, no strong aftertaste. Kayaknya w mencerna plot dengan terlalu rasional aja jadi buatku kisah Nora dan Haesung itu terlalu romanticized.

Sorry for those who think that film is a masterpiece, we just have to agree to disagree. If you still plan on watching the movie on your own and you hate spoilers, here's your cue to scroll past this post.

*

Ok here goes. Jadi cerita ini bermula di tahun 2000-an dimana Nora (waktu itu masih di Korea Selatan jadi masih pake nama Korea-nya: Nayoung), dan Haesung, sepasang anak berumur 12 tahun yang saling suka, harus terpisah benua karena keluarga Nora imigrasi ke Kanada. Mereka hilang kontak sampai akhirnya 12 tahun kemudian ketika umur mereka pertengahan 20, Nora mengirimkan pesan Facebook ke Haesung, dan mereka mulai rajin chat, ganti-gantian begadang demi bisa Skype di awal dan akhir hari. Sampai akhirnya Nora bilang ke Haesung bahwa kayaknya mereka berdua harus stop berhubungan dulu karena dia merasa nggak fokus mengejar apa yang dia kejar sebagai seorang penulis di New York. Di saat yang sama, Haesung juga lagi sibuk kuliah dan cari kerja.

Ada sih pengorbanan-pengorbanan kecil yang sama-sama mereka lakukan: Nora bangun sebelum jam 7 pagi supaya bisa Skype sama Haesung. Dan sebaliknya. Tapi yang aku gak suka adalah adegan dimana Nora tanya: "Jadi kapan kamu bisa ke New York?", Haesung jawab: "Paling satu setengah tahun lagi, abis aku exchange". Dan sebaliknya, pas Haesung tanya kapan Nora bisa ke Korea, dia jawab: "Ngapain aku ke Korea? Paling aku bisa kesana setahun lagi." Ok aku paham mungkin dia ngomong gitu karena bete sama jawaban Haesung, but what kind of relationship would it be? I will give you A but only if you give me A in return? Again: what kind of relationship would it be?

Gimana toh? Saling suka tapi ya sudah jelas bagi saya sebagai penonton bahwa mereka tuh nggak sesuka itu untuk memberikan lebih dari waktu tidur mereka. To me, the right thing would be for either of them, at that very time, to fly to the other person and really talk about how they're gonna proceed with whatever they were. Masalahnya, pas Nora bilang mereka harus berhenti berhubungan, sebenernya mereka tuh gak pacaran. Guys, you didn't even make it past the talking stage.

Terus loncat lagi ke 12 tahun setelahnya, di umur masing-masing udah pertengahan 30. Nora udah nikah sama Jew-American bernama Arthur selama 7 tahun. Arthur adalah sesama penulis yang ketemu dia di program residensi penulis. Haesung masih kerja di Korea, dia baru aja putus dari pacarnya, dan dia ngontak Nora untuk bilang bahwa dia akan pergi ke New York. Tiga malem doang di New York, after 13 hours of flight. Haha.

Jadilah selama dua hari Haesung di New York, dia dan Nora keliling-keliling New York sambil ngobrol yang isinya 'What ifs', mengingat-ingat masa lalu, mempertanyakan ini dan itu. Menurut w gak appropriate sih karena kasian aja gitu sama si Arthur. Udah mana menurut w si Arthur ini cowok spineless yang bilang: "That guy flew thirteen hours to be here. I'm not going to tell you that you can't see him or something. He's your childhood sweetheart." Terus pas si Nora pulang malem-malem abis ketemu Haesung, dia gak berenti ngomongin Haesung. Di tempat tidur, si Arthur ngomong lagi bahwa ini bisa jadi cerita yang hebat banget, "..in this story I am the white American husband who stands in the way of destiny."

Man if you're so insecure about your wife why even bother staying in that relationship lah. Menurut w dinamika hubungan Nora-Arthur tuh aneh banget, seakan merasa bahwa Nora tuh nikah sama dia ya emang karena butuh greencard aja (Dimana nggak mungkin juga sih? Orang mereka emang pacaran lama banget sebelum nikah?). I don't know. I just don't like it. Apalagi di adegan dimana Nora bawa Haesung pulang ke rumah terus si Arthur menyambut dengan posturnya yang slouchy dan mukanya yang udah siap nangis - seakan udah siap melepas Nora untuk pergi ke Korea di dalam pelukan Haesung.

Terus kasian banget sama Arthur pas ada adegan mereka bertiga duduk di bar tapi sepanjang malam Nora cuma ngobrol sama Haesung dalam bahasa Korea jadi Arthur dikacangin sepanjang malam 😭😭😭😭😭 Guy's so pathetic.

Beberapa pertanyaan whatifs yang keluar dari mulut Haesung pun buatku nggak cukup believable. Dia tanya, apa ya yang akan terjadi kalau dulu kita nggak berenti ngobrol? Apa kita bakal nikah? Apa kita bakal putus? Apa kita bakal punya anak? Banyak juga dari scene Nora-Haesung itu isinya cuma mereka berdua saling tatap-tatapan sambil senyum-senyum. Terus jujur emosi banget pas mereka bahas jangan-jangan di masa lalu kita tuh dalam doomed relationship ya? Atau waktu Haesung nanya apakah nanti mereka bisa ketemu lagi di next live?

Me watching them both: That's what you should've asked twelve years ago. I mean, why talk about the past and the future when you can talk about the PRESENT?? If you really love her then take her hands, ask her to come back with you to South Korea. Shoot your shot!!

W paham sih kayanya inti dari pertemuan mereka berdua adalah sebuah closure? Tapi terus apa? Kesimpulannya adalah mereka berdua itu sebenernya saling suka tapi momentum itu udah lewat jadi sekarang yang bisa mereka berdua lakukan adalah terus meromantisasi masa lalu? Closure is overrated, people.

I personally don't believe that they will work out, anyway. Nora adalah seorang imigran Korea yang emigrasi dua kali (ke Kanada lalu ke Amerika Serikat), mengejar karir sebagai penulis di New York. She's Americanized, she's no longer the 12 year old Nora Haesung fell in love with. Haesung adalah orang Korea yang konservatif secara pikiran dan juga tindakan. I don't think any of them are willing to give up their life and move halfway across the world for the other person.

And so they settled for the whatifs, at the romanticization of what nice little memories they had from back when they were both twelve years old.

Menurutku pun, sebenernya setelah kedatangan Haesung ke New York, hubungan Nora dan Arthur gak akan bisa kembali lagi seperti biasa. Arthur udah tahu dengan lebih jelas bahwa Nora tuh masih ada rasa sama Haesung, dan mungkin akan seumur hidup penasaran sama semua whatifs yang mungkin terjadi antara mereka berdua. Udah mana di scene akhir itu Nora nangis di pelukan Arthur setelah dia nganter Haesung ke Uber untuk pulang lagi ke Korea. Tega banget Nora, asli deh.

Tldr; I don't think Nora and Haesung have enough feelings for each other to go beyond the staring at each other while smiling stage, or the staying awake til 2 in the morning to Skype with you stage. That is not love. That is mere curiosity of a road none of them are willing to take.

[amniotic]

I do love to make little mixtapes for my ships. well, this got out of hand, so there's the lyrics and the vibes i get of each of these songs. i'ts first time that i make a "story" with the songs, so each one is from zoro or sanji pov, kind of progressing cause my headcanon it's that they started like frenemies with benefits to married husbands cause i'm a romantic at heart.

˗ˏˋ listen here ˎˊ˗

lyrics under the cut ♫₊˚.🎧 ✧

Montero (call me by your name) - lil nas x

Romantic talking? You don't even have to try. You're cute enough to fuck with me tonight. You know that you can Call me when you want, call me when you need Call me in the morning, I'll be on the way Oh, call me by your name. Tell me you love me in private, Call me by your name.I do not care if you lying

Amarrame - Mon Laferte

Ignórame. Ven y pierde la razón. Quiero que me ruegues y me mires a los ojos. Dame la espalda, desenfócame. Tómame del pelo y repíteme mi nombre. Y ámame, pero sin querer

Kiss with a fist - Florence + the machine

You gave a kick. I gave a slap. You smashed a plate over my head Then I set fire to our bed I spilled your blood upon the floor. You broke my leg in return So sit back and watch the bed burn. Love sticks. Sweat drips. A kick to the teeth is good for some. A kiss with a fist is better than none

Rush - Troye Sivan

Big communication, tell me what you want Translate your vibration, let your body talk to me I feel the rush, Addicted to your touch

I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys

If you like your coffee hot, Let me be your coffee pot Secrets I have held in my heart, Are harder to hide than I thought, Maybe I just wanna be yours, I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours

Good Old fashion lover boy - queen

What're you doing tonight? Hey, boy, Set my alarm, turn on my charm. That's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy. Let me feel your heartbeat, can you feel my love heat?

O sarracino - Renato Carosone

'O sarracino, 'o sarracino. Tutt"e ffemmene fa 'nnammurá Ll'uocchie 'e brigante e 'o sole 'nfaccia. Ogne figliola s'appiccia si 'o vede 'e passá. Na sigaretta 'mmocca, na mana dint"a sacca. E se ne va smargiasso, pe' tutt"a cittá

Pienso en tu mirá - Rosalía

Me da miedo cuando sales Sonriendo pa' la calle Porque todos pueden ver Los hoyuelitos que te salen Me da miedo cuando sales Pienso en tu mirá', tu mirá', clavá', es una bala en el pecho

Algo contigo - Rita payes

Y me quedan muy pocos caminos. Y aunque pueda parecerte un desatino, no quisiera yo morirme sin tener algo contigo

Hallucinate - Dua Lipa

I hallucinate when you call my name, Got stars in my eyes, And they don't fade when you come my way No, I couldn't live without your touch, No, I could never have too much, I'll breathe you in forever and ever, Hallucinate Kill me slowly with your kiss, Wrap me 'round your fingertips

Washing machine heart - mitski

Baby, will you kiss me already? And toss your dirty shoes. In my washing machine heart. Baby, bang it up inside Baby, though I've closed my eyes, I know who you pretend I am

Your best american girl - Mitski

You're the sun, you've never seen the night. But you hear its song from the morning birds. Well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star. But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds. Don't wait for me, I can't come You're the one. You're all I ever wanted. I think I'll regret this

誰かの願いが叶うころ - Utada Hikaru

あなたの幸せ願うほど　わがままが増えてくよ. それでもあなたを引き止めたい　いつだってそう それならあなたを抱き寄せたい　できるだけぎゅっと

Can't help falling in love - elvis presley

"Only fools rush in". But I can't help Falling in love with you. Shall I stay? Would it be a sin. If I can't help Falling in love with you? Take my hand. Take my whole life too

One of your girls - troye sivan

Give me a call if you ever get lonely.I'll be like one of your girls or your homies Say what you want, and I'll keep it a secret. You get the key to my heart, and I need it

Sei la mia cittá - cosmo

Sei la mia città, fuori dal tempo. Sei la mia città, è un complimento. Sei la mia città, ti sento dentro

koko de kissu shite - shiina ringo

I´ll never be able to give up on you. So never say good bye And kiss me once again 行かないでね. 何処にだってあたしと一緒じゃなきゃ厭よ. あなたしか見て無いのよ 今すぐに此処でキスして Don't go. Wherever you go, you have to be with me. I only see you. Kiss me here right now

Eres para mí - Julieta Venegas

Temes sentir más de la cuenta. El corazón es un músculo, Si no late revienta. Extraño mirarte de lejos. De hacernos los tontos, parecemos tan viejos. Tiempo, mm, ¿quieres más tiempo?. Mírame la piel, ¿no ves acaso lo que siento?

Tú eres para mí, yo soy para ti El viento me lo dijo con un soplo suavecillo

Strawberry blond - mitski

I love it when you look my way. Look at you, strawberry blond. Fields rolling on, I love it when you call my name. All I need, darling, is a life in your shape I picture it, soft and I ache

there is a light that never goes out - the smiths

Oh, please don't drop me home¨. Because it's not my home, it's their home And I'm welcome no more To die by your side Is such a heavenly way to die. And if a ten-ton truckKills the both of us To die by your side. Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine

From the start - laufey

Don't you dare look at me that way I don't need reminders of how you don't feel the same. Oh, the burning pain Listening to you harp on 'bout some new soulmate "She's so perfect", blah, blah, blah That when I talk to you Oh, Cupid walks right through And shoots an arrow through my heart. And I sound like a loon, but don't you feel it, too? Confess I loved you from the start

Enamorada - Miranda!

Mi corazón palpitaba, Cada vez que ese hombre se me acercaba. Y con el tiempo me empezó a gustar. Debo decir que no me fue tan mal Ahora estoy mucho mejor, Porque me di cuenta que tuvo sentido Haber recorrido lo que recorrí. Si al final de cuentas él era mi recompensa, Qué suerte que nunca me fui

Somethin' Stupid - Frank Sinata

And then I go and spoil it all. By saying something stupid like "I love you"

Dreams - the cranberries

Then I open up and see. The person falling here is me A different way to be And now I tell you openly, You have my heart so don't hurt me. You're what I couldn't find

Love on top - beyoncé

I can feel the sun whenever you're near. Every time you touch me, I just melt away Nothing's perfect, but it's worth it. After fighting through my tears And finally, you put me first. Baby, it's you.

[fenrisisms]

the lovely @lastlightinternet tagged me in ye olde six song soundtrack for my ocs, presumably to cause me lasting psychic damage but unbeknownst to them i'm the Sound of my ocs Guy. so anyway they picked some guys and i made some soundtracks. i was really unwell about this. some of them escaped containment and got seven songs, even. i even annotated the playlists. enjoy.

i'm not tagging anyone specific but if you see this and you want to have a crack consider yourself tagged by me c: i linked all the songs on youtube but everything is available on spotify as well if thats more ur speed.

RIVA AMELL -

1. an event that defines their past: knock me down - youngblood hawke [circle. enough said.] 2. how they see themself: i was born, i have lived, i will surely die - young guns 3. how others see them: don't stop me now - queen 4. their closest dynamic: see you in a bit (i still care) - teen jesus and the jean teasers [in the context of origins i think many of his closest relationships are in a state of change and he is at a point of disillusionment with them & struggles to accept that he can be hurt by the actions of people he loved and trusted and still hold that love for them. many such cases for him, mostly people he knew in the circle.] be that as it may - herizen (the get down soundtrack) [the natural conclusion to the aforementioned arc. to me] 5. fight scene music: if u seek amy - britney spears 6. closing credits: blackbiird - beyoncé ft tanner adell, brittney spencer, tiera kennedy & reyna roberts

EIRA MAHARIEL -

1. an event that defines their past: o death - amy van roekel & jeff grace (until dawn official soundtrack) 2. how they see themself: labour in vain - mac the knife [she is depressed and angry but she has a job to do so she can't really care about all that rn. but she does <3] 3. how others see them: smile - wolf alice 4. their closest dynamic: physical - dua lipa [the way this absolutely does not fit on this playlist but it is The eira x alistair ride or die dynamic mental amv song to me. personally. also kind of doubles as a fight song to me because the play on physical (boinking) and Physical (beating the shit outta somebody with ur boyfie) is fun. to me.] 5. fight scene music: raise hell - dorothy 6. closing credits: i hope you dance - lee ann womack

BRONSON COUSLAND -

1. an event that defines their past: second chance - shinedown [there are not a lot of songs about your whole family being murdered by a trusted family friend. so mostly for the twins i did this based on their mental state Before That.] 2. how they see themself: broadfields - young guns 3. how others see them: i won't back down - tom petty 4. their closest dynamic: he ain't heavy (he's my brother) - the hollies [bronson is more shaped by bryant than the other way around so he gets this one. everything he does in origins is for the good of his brother. even some of the more bonkers things. he is not coping] because the night - patti smith [i had So many bronson/zevran songs in mind. ultimately this one made the cut because the Sound of it just works for the emotions they evoke. guys who remember the will to live together.] 5. fight scene music: gimme! gimme! gimme! (a man after midnight) - abba 6. closing credits: a beautiful life - dorothy

BRYANT COUSLAND -

1. an event that defines their past: caught up - chapel [this one stumped me for the longest time because So so much the cousland murder drives his whole character arc but uh. this sums up where he was Right before that pretty well!] 2. how they see themself: landslide - the chicks 3. how others see them: changes - david bowie 4. their closest dynamic: romeo and juliet - dire straits ["hey i know ur husband just died and also we had a screaming affair breakup like 10 months ago right before i was presumed dead but is now a good time to talk about getting married" is basically the same thing as "you and me babe, how 'bout it?" right? anyway bryant x anora song.] 5. fight scene music: holding out for a hero - jennifer saunders (shrek soundtrack) 6. closing credits: that's life - t-pain (live from the sun rose)

KATARI ADAAR -

1. an event that defines their past: rest in peace - dorothy [again there are not many songs that encapsulate the exact circumstances of her background and i refused to put a six60 song on this playlist so this works well enough <3] 2. how they see themself: missile - dorothy i like it heavy - halestorm [at this point i was just like there are So many dorothy songs in this lineup. i should throw something else in there. so i did. but i couldn't get rid of the other one it works too good] 3. how others see them: we will rock you - in this moment ft lzzy hale, marina brink & taylor momsen 4. their closest dynamic: black sheep - dorothy [inside her mercenary company that i invented from scratch are her chosen siblings so. this song is about them and their dynamic <3] 5. fight scene music: enter sandman - rina sawayama [this was so hard for her because so many of the songs on this playlist could double as fight scene songs. so for the last two i just picked songs that Sonically vibe since the lyrical heavy lifting was done earlier LOL] 6. closing credits: poison - starbenders

SYRACUSE TREVELYAN -

1. an event that defines their past: fuyu no hanashi - given (given soundtrack) [contextually this song is about grieving/moving on from a dead lover but without knowing the full nuances of the language it's vague enough that it COULD work about a dead sibling. see the vision] 2. how they see themself: towers (on my way) - young guns 3. how others see them: now come on now (mell hall remix) - KYE ft mell hall 4. their closest dynamic: if i fall you're going down with me - the chicks [again. many such bull x syracuse songs vying for the title but this one is just So funny and exactly how syracuse approaches that relationship. if he's experiencing love for the first time so are you. bitch.] 5. fight scene music: 365 - charli xcx 6. closing credits: this hell - rina sawayama

[airbrushfather]

50 and 76 ❕

asks from this post!! thank you c!!

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

oh boy i've been waiting for an opportunity to publicise this story because it's so insane. me and my friend go for breakfast every friday and one week i had no plans afterwards so we were just hanging out in town for a bit, and we passed the market which was at that time only two stalls: one selling flowers, and one selling fish. now, we live in a very small town next to several other very small towns, so if you frequent this market you know the people who run each stall. usually, it's two men who run the fish stall, but on this day, it was two women. my friend (t) very loudly and very happily says "oh!! fish women!". the women smile. i comment about how this seems like a strange word for mermaid and t politely informs me (in the making-up-bullshit way you do to your friends) that the fish women is actually a group of activists. naturally, i prod her on this. what are they campaining for? i don't know, says t, we are just women for fish. oh, not fish for women? no. women for fish. has someone... hurt the fish? yes, says t, the government. oh? i say, tell me more. we get to the bus stop. t sits on the curb with me and tells me about the women for fish movement, which as it turns out, is something they're doing because the british government is putting bleach in the water in the seaside town she is from (this is not true, but sometimes when you're friends with people like i'm friends with, you begin method acting. i think it's good training for my hopeful upcoming scare acting gig.) i'm prodding about this town and it turns out that everyone who lives there is either a woman, or married to a woman. i think this is a little unfair on gay men or single people or widowers. t shrugs and says, feminism. as it transpires, as we get on the bus and later go to t's house, none of the women can read or write and the seaside town (whose name changed every time someone said it, but was always somewhere close to fishton-upon-ribblesley) has no internet, no cars, and no healthcare. i (naturally) assume the character of the first tourist this town has had for years and am curious to know more. my name is jemima puddleduck, and i've come here to find my long lost family. as it turns out, fishley-by-the-sea is a microstate of england, and its own independent enclave, not even governed by british parliment. their system of government, instead, is based on fifteen increasingly ridiculous rules (which included, from memory, all of the rules from the song 'new rules' by dua lipa, and the fact that you have to train to be a blacksmith) and the first rule is that anyone who wants to be an elected official must be sent out to sea and return safely. you'd think, for a seaside town, that everyone would be at least somewhat skilled in seafaring, but no -- every single elected official they have sent out to sea has not returned, so they've not elected any new officials in years. the only one to ever come back is a man whose government name is grandad puddleduck. first name grandad. last name puddleduck.

hold on, i say, my last name is puddleduck. is he my grandad? it turns out yes, and i have to go and meet him because i was not raised in fisherdale-upon-hammersmith and have never known my family. it turns out i have a sister here too, whose name i can't remember, but she has a husband named gavin and two alive children, many, many dead ones. gavin is a bird. my poor old grandad is sick to bastard death of being elected official, especially since i imagine his business in town is mostly just sending people to die at sea. i tell him, i will become the new elected official so you can live out your old age by the sea peacefully, and maybe then i'll make some changes to this godforsaken place. like teaching the women to read. okay, says grandad, who is played by t, but you'll have to follow all the rules. the first rule is that all elected officials must be sent out to sea and come back whole, as you know. i decide to befriend the local fishermen and see if one of them will take me out in his boat. (is that against the rules? grandad says there's nothing in the book about it, so it's probably okay.) the first man i meet is named michael spearman (which i, the real me, danny, not jemima) genuinely just pulled out of my brain and did not know who it was attached to. i knew he was someone, but i couldn't really remember who at this time. i had a lot on my brain, such as the other fourteen fucking rules i would have to follow in order to become elected. it's appropriate, though, because he spears the fish. we affectionately name him fishermichael. fishermichael agrees to take me out in his boat, and it's a lovely little trip out into the ocean. however, as i learn the hard way, fishermike has a terrible condition wherein he will collapse if he hears a profanity. what fishermichael deems to be a profanity varies wildly based on how t (who is also playing fishermichael) is feeling. several times, i swear and fishermike is knocked out cold, and i have to go and do a side quest in order to kill time before he wakes up. eventually, we go out to sea, and for the first time, a prospective elected official begins rule 2.

what is rule 2, you ask? i can't fucking remember. this shit was taking hours. however, somewhere along the way i do indeed learn to be a blacksmith, and it turns out the blacksmith family thinks i am horrible. this will not fare me well in the election.

i also meet a character called archaeological dave. he runs the archaeology society, which he runs out of a shack which he built around a large statue he unearthed of a bald man holding a huge pickaxe, engraved with the phrase 'me when i go digging'. i will attach a picture for reference of what this statue may have looked like. an approximate recreation made by the greatest minds of our archaeological generation. archaeological dave drinks lots of coffee, which i soon come to learn is laced with cocaine. tons of cocaine.

he helps me complete some more of the tasks i need to do. i honestly don't remember most of them. once all fifteen rules have been completed, the town holds a very big celebration on the beach, including a maypole dance, a wreath making contest, afternoon tea, and a choir led by my brother in law the bird. as it turns out, poor old fishermike has another unfortunate condition where hearing music makes him turn into a table. this proves very frustrating when i have to ask him if he would vote for me and he can only speak in table wobbles.

my final task as elected official to be is to go around and 'hold the election', which involves asking every character i have met if they would like to elect me. almost everyone says yes, except for the blacksmith, who is just a wanker for some reason. i think grandad puddleduck once accidentally broke into his workshop and smithed something and he wasn't a big fan of that. but, cmon, blacksmith, i'm two generations removed from that and i'm new in town. give me a break. his wife and children say yes anyway, so i'm not that bothered.

after my flurry of yesses (and t forgetting how to do most of the voices), i am finally there. ready to become elected official of fishwick-upon-fishwick and bring literacy to it's women and install a proper healthcare system. but there's one problem.

remember when i said all women in fishborough-southwest-of-lumbago are married?

jemima is not married.

i have to frantically run around and find an unmarried man (who isn't also a child or my relative) but it's proving very difficult. hope is fading. i will have to abandon this small, small, small country and leave it's poor female populus without the joy of ever reading 'this is just to say' by william carol williams, or writing 'woz ere' on a toilet door. how will i ever live with myself?

but then. oh, then.

out of the darkness comes my shining light. his wife is dead. she's buried in the garden. he's on so much fucking cocaine.

archaeological dave.

(by this point, it's like 3pm. me and t left breakfast at about 10. this has been going on for fucking hours. and, to answer the question, we've been laughing our asses off the whole time)

i propose to archaeological dave and we become engaged. that's kind of the end, it fizzles out around here, because t and i are just in hysterics. what the fuck have we just done for the last approximately five hours? we've been in her garden, playing a roleplaying game like children. my phone is full of people asking where the fuck i've gone. t's mum is inside and has heard the whole thing through the open kitchen window.

my stomach muscles hurt for the next three days.

so, probably that.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

anyway. it's mash tater.

[jcdedmemories]

Welcome to New York {AUGUST LOVERSON} !! They are a {31} year old {CIS MAN} who uses {HE/HIM} pronouns. They’re a {FLORIST} who has been in town for {30 YEARS} living in {THE BRONX}. When looking at {AUGUST} you automatically think of {FLOWERS, COLD BREWS WITH COLD FOAM, DOG HAIR} but that probably makes sense since they also remind you of {RAFAEL SILVA}. You can always hear {NEW RULES} by {DUA LIPA} coming from their place. Who knows what kind of trouble they’re going to get themselves into.

CHARACTER INFORMATION:

full name: august loverson

nickname(s): auggie, gus

pronouns & gender: he/him, cis man

sexuality: homosexual

age: twenty-eight

relationship status: single

birth date: october 31, 1995

birth place: beaufort, south carolina

time in town: since february 2022

occupation: florist @ dahlia & daffodils

parents: dillon & maria loverson

siblings: dillon loverson jr, gabriella loverson, jacqueline loverson

personality: obsessive, energetic, impulsive, & creative

pet: none at the moment

APPEARANCE:

celebrity doppelgänger: rafael silva

height: 6'0"

hair color: black

eye color: brown

FAVORITES:

color: orange

non-alcoholic beverage: celsius 

alcoholic beverage: high noon watermelon

season: autumn

candle scent: macintosh apple

book: perks of being a wallflower

video game: spyro; save the last dragon

tv show: rupaul’s drag race

animated tv show: bob’s burgers

movie: anything marvel

animated movie: the iron giant

holiday movie: the grinch who stole christmas

disney movie: frozen 2

pixar movie: toy story 2

disney original movie: halloween town

candy: twizzlers

chocolate candy: snickers

Fruit: pineapple 😉

Vegetable: garlicky green beans

cuisine to eat: jambalaya

cuisine to make: anything on the grill

genre of music: country

artist: luke combs

song: beer never broke my heart by luke combs

Biography:

Being the southern golden boy is always something that August will be known for. He was the miracle child that Dillon and Maria were never expecting. After their first three children which all happened to be daughters, the two didn’t plan on having anymore and they didn’t even think that they would be able to. But for Christmas 1994, Maria had surprised her husband and children with the fact that she was going to be having another child. They were ecstatic that they were going to have one more and once they found out that it was a boy, they were even happier because they were going to have the son that they always wanted. 

Once August was born, it was like all the attention was on him because he was the son that they longed for. And even though August tried his best to get along with all his sisters, some of them didn’t really care for the attention that he pulled from the others. At the same time, Dillon and Maria were leaving the girls to babysit August whenever they wanted to go do things, which was always. The Loverson’s were not well off by any means but they didn’t live poorly either. And whenever August wanted something, they would try their hardest to ensure that he got it while his parents would tell their daughters that they needed to work for it. 

From a young age, August was always obsessed with flowers and he was always bringing them home and ripping them apart to make things like crowns, jewelry, and other things that most boys weren’t worried about. He liked to make things look pretty and sometimes that got him bullied in school but he never let it get to him. Speaking of school, August was your average student who slid by with some B’s and some C’s and didn’t care about graduating at the top of his class. He didn’t even care about going to college at all. 

Although he wasn’t worried about school, he did pay attention in some business and art classes to ensure that he was being the brightest when it came to opening up a business of his own one day and learning different era’s of art to come off knowledgable to a wider range of age groups. August was no dummy and if he cared about something enough then he was willing to put in the work. He did the best that he could in his hometown to try and create a business for himself and he was doing great at first but then business seemed to slow down that he turned to TikTok and was able to sell some things quite fast.

While selling things online were nice, he felt like he could do more if he went somewhere that was bigger. He decided that in the beginning of 2022 that he was going to be moving to New York to appeal to a different clientele (well that and there were many many more gay boys like him). While his business in New York was trying to grow, he wasn’t making enough on TikTok to live so that’s when he found a flower shop called Dahlia & Daffodils were hiring florists and he decided to do that along with his business on the side.

August has begun to make a name for himself and he has started to rake in some money that he never thought was possible. He has been able to send money back home to his parents for helping him get to where he was. He feels like some of his sisters are still judging him for being so close with their parents and he tries not to hold it personally as he wished he had more of a relationship with them because regardless of what they think of him he has always loved them. 

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

After what Harris did, if I hear again that she's "The Best Option" I'll take a demon to haunt you! Because she has views like many right-wingers in my fucking country! She proved it by using Putin and Poland as an argument (Fuck Ukraine and the war, right, bitch?)

Now that I have your attention:

-----------------------------------------------

Yes, I'm still annoyed that he uses Putin and Trump as a boogymen…

[asma-al-husna]

Allah calls Himself As-Samee’— The Hearing, The Ever-Listening— on 45 occasions in the Quran. He is the One whose hearing and attention comprehends everything. As-Samee’ hears every word, thought, and secret, and He listens to every voice. As-Samee’ listens and pays attention to everything, perfectly, eternally, and without any limits!

The All-Hearing, The Ever-Listening

Samee’ comes from the root seen-meem-‘ayn, which refers to four main meanings. The first main meaning is to hear and to listen, and the second to accept and receive. The third main meaning is to pay attention to and the fourth is to understand the meaning.

This root appears 185 times in the Quran in 10 derived forms. Examples of these forms are sami’a (to hear, to listen), tusmi’u (to make hear), and as-sam’a (the hearing).

Linguistically samee’ is on the structure of intensification. As-Samee’ refers to the perfection and the totality of Allah’s hearing, which cannot be compared with the hearing of any other created being.

As-Samee’ Himself says: Our Lord! Accept this service from us: For You are the All-Hearing, the All-knowing [Quran, 2: 127] . . . If I am astray, I only stray to the loss of my own soul: but if I receive guidance, it is because of what my Lord reveals to me. He is All-Hearing, Ever-Near. [Quran, 34:50] . . . And Allah hears your discussions. Lo! Allah is All-Hearing, All-Seeing. [Quran, 58: 1]

No secrets for As-Samee’

As-Samee’ hears every single sound, every rustle of the tree, every voice, and every thought. Our most secret speech is an open declaration before Allah. As-Samee’ tells us: It is the same to Him whether one of you conceals his speech or declares it openly; whether he lies hidden by night or walks forth freely by day. [Quran, 13: 10] Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said: Glory be to Allah whose hearing embraces all voices. The woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, with her plea. She had a grievance against her husband. I was in the corner of the house and did not hear what she said. Then Allah revealed: Allah has heard the plea of the woman who pleads with you . . . [An-Nasaa’i, Ibn Maajah]

How Can You Live by This Name?

1. Watch that tongue.
How many times have you watched your mouth when certain people were around, like your parents, a teacher, or your boss? As a Muslim one of your tasks is to guard your tongue, anytime, anywhere, and in any company.
Parents sin if they use inappropriately harsh or curse words while disciplining the children. As-Samee’ told us: Not a word does he (or she) utter, but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it). [Quran, 50:18] Use your tongue wisely so that your words will not be something that keep you from the gates of Jannah.

2. Study the etiquette of speech for a Muslim.
How do you know if your speech is pleasing to As-Samee’ if you do not study His book and the sunnah of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him? Learn about the prohibitions of the tongue, like backbiting, swearing, and lying. Study the types of speech As-Samee’ loves to hear from you, like dhikr, good advice, kind words to others, and reciting the Quran.

3. Ask As-Samee’ in salah.
Did you know you have seven places where you seek As-Samee’ with supplications in your prayer? You can do so after the first takbeer, and on some occasions before bowing, also while bowing, when you rise from bowing, during your prostrations, between the two prostrations, and at the very end of the prayer before you say your Salaam. Make use of these times to ask for whatever (halaal) you want in this life and the next.

4. Be comforted by As-Samee’.
When Allah ‘azza wa jall sent Musa and Harun to confront the Pharaoh, He comforted them with the words: Fear not. Indeed, I am with you (both); I hear and I see. [Quran, 20:46] As-Samee’ hears and answers your prayers, so invoke Him and supplicate to Him. Remember— dua’ is the weapon of the believer and can make the mountains shake.

5. Seek refuge in As-Samee’.
The Prophet Muhammad, salallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, used to seek refuge with Allah from four things, including a prayer that goes unheard:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ عِلْمٍ لَا يَنْفَعُ وَمِنْ قَلْبٍ لَا يَخْشَعُ وَمِنْ نَفْسٍ ‏لَا تَشْبَعُ ‏ ‏وَمِنْ دَعْوَةٍ لَا يُسْتَجَابُ لَهَا‏
O Allah, I seek refuge in You from knowledge which does not benefit, from a heart that does not entertain the fear (of Allah), from a soul that is not satisfied and the supplication that is not answered. [Muslim] The Prophet did not mean that he feared Allah would not hear the prayer itself, but rather that Allah would leave the prayer unanswered!

6. Ask As-Samee’ to bless your hearing.
Allah As-Samee’ loves those who use the abilities He gave them for His sake. Did Allah give you ears to listen to gossip or music? Did He give you a tongue so He could hear swearing and lying from you? Ask Him to help you to use your hearing and your tongue only for things pleasing to Him.

7. Pick the right words.
A true believer would never intentionally give reason to others to be doubtful, nor hurt their feelings in any way. You must ensure, as far as possible, that what you say is heard and understood by all involved; pick your words with wisdom.

8. Feel ‘sami’Allahu liman hamidah’.
Next to the amazing Hearing of Allah, The beautiful name As-Samee’ also means He answers our prayers. After bowing in prayer we say: sami’Allahu liman hamidah (Allah hears the one who praises Him). We know that Allah hears us; this means that Allah answers those who praise Him and seek Him in prayer. Now every time you say sami’Allahu liman hamidah, feel that Allah is The All-Hearer and make the intention to strive that He only hears good from you.

O Allah, As-Samee’, we know You hear every sound and thought. Aid us to watch our tongues and use them for Your sake only, protect us from foul speech, bless our tongue and our hearing, and make us of those whose prayers are answered, ameen!

[smqazi]

What To Remember When Parenting In The Western World

Raising kids Islamically in the Western world is one of the most written about topics in Muslim parenting. When my husband worked for a multinational company, we had to move a great deal. I tried to prepare myself for the challenges of raising kids outside my home country of Malaysia as a nucleus family. I knew that to prepare our family to live in other countries, especially in the West would be difficult and require a lot of effort and sacrifice as a Muslim. For instance, we may not easily find an Islamic school or we may not live in a Muslim majority community.

As soon as we learned that we needed to relocate, we would do a lot of research to prepare for the kids’ well-being in an unfamiliar country.

Emulate Rasool-Allah (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) and the Sahabah (RadiyAllahu ‘anhum)

Throughout my journey, I have raised six (6) children in six (6)  different countries, and I have constantly reminded myself to emulate our Prophet (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) and the sahabah (RadiyAllahu ‘anhum).��

Reading the seerah of Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) and the stories and biography of the sahabah as much as possible is very helpful. Their stories are relevant for us even if we are raising our kids in western countries. Why? The Prophet (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) and his sahabah were living in a place where the majority of the people practiced polytheism, worshipping others besides Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala). It is fascinating to know how they brought themselves and their kids to live up to the standard that pleases Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala). It is good that we learn and emulate their life stories.  

An Example of Sabr (Patience)

There are many values that we can learn from the story of Umm Sulaim c. She was one of the great woman companions of the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam).

Umm Sulaim (RadiyAllahu ‘anhaa) had accepted Islam from the very beginning when most of the people of Makkah were idolaters. She remained patient and persevered in defending her religion even though her first husband was a disbeliever. She raised her kids with the values of Islam practiced in her life and her household. Her kids observed the values and emulated them. She made Hijrah to Ethiopia and Madinah to safeguard her religion.

Umm Sulaim (RadiyAllahu ‘anhaa) sent her son, Anas Bin Malik, (RadiyAllahu ‘anhu) to serve Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) at the young age of ten (10) years old for ten (10) years. She did this to make him learn from the best teacher.

An important note here is that adults with good Islamic values should surround our kids to be their companions.

Use the Power of Dua’

(RadiyAllahu ‘anhaa) always made supplications and showed her love towards Anas Bin Malik (RadiyAllahu ‘anhu). She also asked Prophet Muhammad to make dua’ for her son. Anas Bin Malik (RadiyAllahu ‘anhu) grew up being a prominent Sahabi who devoted himself to Islamic teaching. He had memorized numerous ahadith of the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam).

From this short summary of Umm Sulaim’s life, we can learn that it is not impossible to raise our kids with rich Islamic values in Western countries. Even though we live with many challenges, we should emulate the best of teachers, the Prophet (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) and his companions (RadiyAllahu ‘anhum).

I pray that this short article gives us some awareness and insight about following the best examples that Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) has bestowed upon us, including in parenting. Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (RadiyAllahu ‘anhu) reported that the prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) said:

“The best people are those of my generation, then those who come after then, then those who come after them. Then, there will come people after them whose testimony precedes their oaths and their oaths precede their testimony.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 6065, Muslim 2533]

SOME STATEMENTS FROM FATHERS AND MOTHERS

“Instill morals, ethics, a sense of right and wrong, work ethic, respect for others, faith, and an understanding of correct principles that will help them succeed and to help others to succeed in life. I was raised the same way.

”Father, age 39

“I am not taking my kid to the church, and I am trying to teach my kid to be open and friendly to people ‘different’ than her.”

Mother, age 44

“I always knew that if I needed my family that they would be there for me no matter the situation. I always had their love and support. I want them to know that it’s never a situation that they can’t come to me.”

Mother, age 37

“I was never shown affection or told that my parents loved me. I am trying to show more love in my caregiving.”

Mother, age 44

“I was raised in a traditional environment and my parents were principled and strict disciplinarians. I believe children benefit and turn out well in such environments.”

Father, age 45

“I was raised in a time where physical punishment was more common and much more socially accepted, but I almost immediately strayed away from that when raising children of my own.”

Mother, age 51

“My mother always talked to me about bullies, she encouraged my education and prepared me for school, she attended school functions/meetings, taught me about God, took out time to meet my friends, etc. I do all these things.”

Mother, age 41

“My parents were … unable to afford to put me in any classes or lessons. They valued academics above all else. While I think academics is very important, I would like my children to have a more well-rounded upbringing.”

“[I] encourage them to think independently, allow them to be creative and grow, give them opportunities to explore the world in a safe and supported way.”

Father, age 42

“I try to give my children more trust, let them make more of their own decisions. I actively try to help them reach their own conclusions rather than forcing my beliefs on them. I see myself as a partner with them rather than a boss.”

What To Remember When Parenting In The Western World

Raising kids Islamically in the Western world is one of the most written about topics in Muslim parenting. When my husband worked for a multinational company, we had to move a great deal. I tried to prepare myself for the challenges of raising kids outside my home country of Malaysia as a nucleus family. I knew that to prepare our family to live in other countries, especially in the West would be difficult and require a lot of effort and sacrifice as a Muslim. For instance, we may not easily find an Islamic school or we may not live in a Muslim majority community.

As soon as we learned that we needed to relocate, we would do a lot of research to prepare for the kids’ well-being in an unfamiliar country.

Emulate Rasool-Allah (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) and the Sahabah (RadiyAllahu ‘anhum)

Throughout my journey, I have raised six (6) children in six (6)  different countries, and I have constantly reminded myself to emulate our Prophet (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) and the sahabah (RadiyAllahu ‘anhum). 

Reading the seerah of Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) and the stories and biography of the sahabah as much as possible is very helpful. Their stories are relevant for us even if we are raising our kids in western countries. Why? The Prophet (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) and his sahabah were living in a place where the majority of the people practiced polytheism, worshipping others besides Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala). It is fascinating to know how they brought themselves and their kids to live up to the standard that pleases Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala). It is good that we learn and emulate their life stories.  

An Example of Sabr (Patience)

There are many values that we can learn from the story of Umm Sulaim c. She was one of the great woman companions of the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam).

Umm Sulaim (RadiyAllahu ‘anhaa) had accepted Islam from the very beginning when most of the people of Makkah were idolaters. She remained patient and persevered in defending her religion even though her first husband was a disbeliever. She raised her kids with the values of Islam practiced in her life and her household. Her kids observed the values and emulated them. She made Hijrah to Ethiopia and Madinah to safeguard her religion.

Umm Sulaim (RadiyAllahu ‘anhaa) sent her son, Anas Bin Malik, (RadiyAllahu ‘anhu) to serve Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) at the young age of ten (10) years old for ten (10) years. She did this to make him learn from the best teacher.

An important note here is that adults with good Islamic values should surround our kids to be their companions.

Use the Power of Dua’

(RadiyAllahu ‘anhaa) always made supplications and showed her love towards Anas Bin Malik (RadiyAllahu ‘anhu). She also asked Prophet Muhammad to make dua’ for her son. Anas Bin Malik (RadiyAllahu ‘anhu) grew up being a prominent Sahabi who devoted himself to Islamic teaching. He had memorized numerous ahadith of the Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam).

From this short summary of Umm Sulaim’s life, we can learn that it is not impossible to raise our kids with rich Islamic values in Western countries. Even though we live with many challenges, we should emulate the best of teachers, the Prophet (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) and his companions (RadiyAllahu ‘anhum).

I pray that this short article gives us some awareness and insight about following the best examples that Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) has bestowed upon us, including in parenting. Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (RadiyAllahu ‘anhu) reported that the prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam) said:

“The best people are those of my generation, then those who come after then, then those who come after them. Then, there will come people after them whose testimony precedes their oaths and their oaths precede their testimony.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 6065, Muslim 2533]

SOME STATEMENTS FROM FATHERS AND MOTHERS

“Instill morals, ethics, a sense of right and wrong, work ethic, respect for others, faith, and an understanding of correct principles that will help them succeed and to help others to succeed in life. I was raised the same way.

”Father, age 39

“I am not taking my kid to the church, and I am trying to teach my kid to be open and friendly to people ‘different’ than her.”

Mother, age 44

“I always knew that if I needed my family that they would be there for me no matter the situation. I always had their love and support. I want them to know that it’s never a situation that they can’t come to me.”

Mother, age 37

“I was never shown affection or told that my parents loved me. I am trying to show more love in my caregiving.”

Mother, age 44

“I was raised in a traditional environment and my parents were principled and strict disciplinarians. I believe children benefit and turn out well in such environments.”

Father, age 45

“I was raised in a time where physical punishment was more common and much more socially accepted, but I almost immediately strayed away from that when raising children of my own.”

Mother, age 51

“My mother always talked to me about bullies, she encouraged my education and prepared me for school, she attended school functions/meetings, taught me about God, took out time to meet my friends, etc. I do all these things.”

Mother, age 41

“My parents were … unable to afford to put me in any classes or lessons. They valued academics above all else. While I think academics is very important, I would like my children to have a more well-rounded upbringing.”

“[I] encourage them to think independently, allow them to be creative and grow, give them opportunities to explore the world in a safe and supported way.”

Father, age 42

“I try to give my children more trust, let them make more of their own decisions. I actively try to help them reach their own conclusions rather than forcing my beliefs on them. I see myself as a partner with them rather than a boss.”

Father Age 60

“No physical abuse, with a more open dialect and lots of encouragement and unconditional love.”

Mother, age 40

“We decided to homeschool, I opted for a different spiritual path than the one I was mostly raised in, and we are a lot more flexible.”

Mother, age 54

“Giving them a little more freedom to learn to make their own decisions.”

Father, age 30

“My parents were too strict and controlling. I talk with my sons and we make decisions together.”

Mother, age 55

“I am raising my kids with a strong Christian foundation. I strive to live my life as an example of good, godly values for my kids. I impart in them the importance of love, family and fellowship.”

Father, age 41

“Saying yes sir and yes ma’am. Taking responsibility for their actions.”

Father, age 37

“We are planning on home-schooling.”

Mother, age 37

“Giving them freedom to do what they want but reigning them in when they go outside of the boundary.”

Father, age 46

“Give him a good-quality education [better] than the one I was exposed to.”

Father, age 36

“Emotional connection and more room to express feelings.”

Mother, age 39

“I’m trying to be more open so my child and I can have more conversations, and not be so judgmental as my parent was.”

Mother, age 42

“We are raising them based on the biblical teaching that our parents used as well. Fear God and to remember the Ten Commandments, love one another as God so loved us.”

Father, age 41

“Telling them how important getting an education [is], so they can live a better life.”

Mother, age 46

“Lead by example, and be tough but fair.”

Father, age 32

“To raise them in a way that they can be respectful of everyone that shows them respect.”

Mother, age 45

“By teaching them to love, honor and respect parents; love and serve God faithfully; stay faithful; love the country and obey the laws of the land; read the Bible.”

Mother, age 58

“Setting limits but letting them know I love them.”

Mother, age 31 (translated from Spanish)

“I hold my children accountable for their actions and don’t tolerate lying in any form.”

Father, age 48

“Having my kids do chores, be responsible for keeping track of their belongings and readying themselves for school/sports/extracurricular activities.”

Mother, age 49

“Eliminating bad traditions. Teaching core values that work like respect, work, God, and country.”

Father, age 50

“Outdoor school program. Not rushing academics at an early age.”

Father, age 44

“Making family a priority. Having dinner at the table together every night. Being involved in my kids’ school, sports and extracurricular activities. Being present.”

Mother, age 50

“Avoiding verbal abuse, cursing and put-downs.”

Father, age 44

“I want my children to know that a parent is supposed to be there for them 100% of the time, not just when it’s convenient.”

Mother, age 33

“Same discipline, same punishments, same rewards.”

Mother, age 40

“Trying not to scream at them as much as my parents did me.”

Father, age 39

“With personal example in the first place. In the warmth of a united family, based on respect and tolerance.”

Father, age 50 (translated from Spanish)

“My parents gave me a lot of leeway to explore my interests and relied on respect more than discipline to show us how to live.”

Father, age 46

“My parents were overprotective and didn’t let me do anything or go anywhere. They were also unable to afford to put me in any classes or lessons. They valued academics above all else. While I think academics is very important, I would like my children to have a more well-rounded upbringing.”

Mother, age 40

“I was never shown affection or told that my parents loved me. I am trying to show more love in my caregiving.”

Mother, age 44

“More actively engaged in school and what they are doing for extracurricular activities.”

Father, age 53

“I was raised in a very religious family, and I want my children to share the same faith.”

Mother, age 42

“I’m trying to raise them as respectful, productive adults with values, morals and integrity.”

Mother, age 40

“More grounded and conservative.”

Mother, age 49

“By having a strong parent-child relationship. Keeping an open door and an open mind.”

Mother, age 37

“I am not taking my kid to the church, and I am trying to teach my kid to be open and friendly to people ‘different’ than her.”

Mother, age 44

“No forced religious beliefs. Focus on teaching emotional intelligence and emotional regulation.”

Mother, age 43

“To achieve a good education by sitting with them and helping them do all [their] homework.”

Mother, age 29

“I was raised in a traditional environment and my parents were principled and strict disciplinarians. I believe children benefit and turn out well in such environments.”

Father, age 45

“Education, values and respect, all adapted to technology and the times of now.”

Mother, age 45 (translated from Spanish)

“To have high academic expectations, good morals, and be a responsible citizen.”

Mother, age 36

“To have good morals, be patient, kind, generous, smart, hard-working and have good common sense.”

Mother, age 56

“Trying to keep them independent and not being a helicopter parent.”

Mother, age 47

“Same model of discipline. Same morals and manners.”

Father, age 38

“Exposure to many opportunities – sports, leisure, etc. Good academic base and value education.”

Mother, age 43

“Making sure my children get a great education.”

Mother, age 53

“I’m giving my child the freedom to grow and pursue her passions.”

Mother, age 34

“My parents both worked so didn’t have a lot of time to play with me. I am lucky to be able to stay home now with my kids and spend a lot of time with them.”

Mother, age 42

“I try to give my children more trust, let them make more of their own decisions. I actively try to help them reach their own conclusions rather than forcing my beliefs on them. I see myself as a partner with them rather than a boss.”

Mother, age 39

“I was raised in a migrant farm-working family where the whole family worked on the weekends and summers. No time for sports or extracurricular activities. My kids will actually focus on being kids and not have to worry about having to grow up too fast and worry about money or bills.”

Father, age 43

“Manners and strict guidelines without being too authoritative.”

Father, age 28

“Good morals. Knows right from wrong.”

Mother, age 35

“Keeping faith a strong component of our family beliefs and traditions.”

Mother, age 48

“Don’t try to employ my values to them, let them define their own.”

Father, age 37

“Showing them daily and in many ways how they are loved and valued.”

Father, age 49

“I don’t demand that my son conform to my expectations for his life.”

Mother, age 52

“Not to be racist and to accept people in all colors, shapes, forms and sizes.”

Mother, age 50

“I’m letting my children choose their own paths and how they want to express themselves.”

Mother, age 35

“High expectations, but freedom to make and learn from mistakes.”

Father, age 48

“I’m much more involved in their day-to-day lives, mental and emotional well-being and aware of their friendships, relationships in general.”

Mother, age 51

“Ability to think on their own versus being told what to do about everything. Also, open about sexuality versus sex not being mentioned or a sexual being not being acknowledged. Last major way is self-expression with clothes, style, etc.”

Mother, age 52

“Trying to push them a little more on grades and schoolwork.”

Father, age 46

“I prioritize school more and the importance of good grades. I also have one child instead of three (like my parents) to ensure we have enough resources for activities, tutoring and organic good.”

Mother, age 41

“In a loving, caring and structured household.”

Mother, age 39

“More freedom for the children. Empower them to make their own decisions.”

Mother, age 46

“My wife and I are raising our children to be honest, respectful, hardworking, dependable yet letting them enjoy their youth while being responsible. All without child abuse.”

Father, age 38

“Encourage them to pursue their own interests and dreams and not ours as parents.”

Father, age 53

“Spending more time with them which includes playing, helping in studies.”

Father, age 47

“Encourage decision-making.”

Father, age 58

“I try to spend all the time I can with her and talk to her more than talk at her.”

Father, age 34

“With a lot of unconditional love.”

Mother, age 40

“I grew up in China where academic excellence is very important, and [for] my kid born here, well-rounded is more important.”

Mother, age 48

“I was raised in a time where physical punishment was more common and much more socially accepted, but I almost immediately strayed away from that when raising children of my own. I also was raised under the philosophy of parents never being wrong; where children were never meant to question or combat their parents’ words. This took longer to unlearn, but I want my children to feel like there’s a proper channel of open communication available between us so long as a certain level of respect is maintained.”

Mother, age 51

“Loving my child unconditionally, and supporting their educational and creative expressions, thoughts and endeavors.”

Mother, age 57

“Spend quality time with my child, read with them and sing songs.”

Mother, age 39

“My mother always talked to me about bullies, she encouraged my education and prepared me for school, she attended school functions/meetings, taught me about God, took out time to meet my friends, etc. I do all these things.”

Mother, age 41

“I always knew that if I needed my family that they would be there for me no matter the situation. I always had their love and support. I want them to know that it’s never a situation that they can’t come to me.”

Mother, age 37

“[Old-fashioned], having respect for others as well as the elderly, doing what’s right and living by the Bible!”

Father, age 50

“Raising kids with a respectful parenting approach. My parents were respectfully parenters, but not starting at an early age.”

Father, age 31

“God-fearing and loving household, two-parent home, building kids with character and grit.”

Mother, age 36

“I want them to be independent, save money, invest in their future, and become obsessed with their idea of success and not society’s ideas of success.”

Mother, age 38

“Teaching good values, respect others, and not to be racist. We all have the same value as humans, giving them advice that I never had. Times have changed, but we can’t change our morals.”

Father, age 47

“Being self-sustainable, less technologically dependent and more self-reliance in skills and abilities of hands-on work/labor.”

Mother, age 33

“More religious beliefs, more striving for excellence, and more educated, and more walking by faith and financial independence.”

Mother, age 59

“Being close to all my family. Being active in my kids’ lives.”

Father, age 49

“Let them be independent and not keep them inside the bubble.”

Father, age 51

“Instill morals, ethics, a sense of right and wrong, work ethic, respect for others, faith, and an understanding of correct principles that will help them succeed and to help others to succeed in life. I was raised the same way.”

Father, age 39

“I didn’t have a safe place to express my emotions of feeling understood. I try to have weekly talks with my kids to check in on their emotions to see how they are. Even if they had a good week, I have found it is still good to remind them you are there for them.”

Mother, age 32

“Stay away from family micro traditions and taboos.”

Mother, age 60

“Not trying to be a helicopter parent like my mom.”

Mother, age 28

“I want to raise my kid to be more independent and confident.”

Mother, age 29

“Promoting independence and exploration of identity.”

Father, age 42

“I was homeschooled in a conservative Christian home, without any goals for higher education. My children are in public school and I have three in college now with great opportunities for their future.”

Mother, age 40

“Breaking the generational curses of just yelling. Trying to understand that my kiddos are tiny humans with big emotions and to provide a safe base for communication about anything, even things that may not seem important to me, but to them it’s the world so I do my best to listen and advise as needed.”

Mother, age 28

“Recognize individual differences and not to enforce parent’s agenda.”

Mother, age 43

“Loving, accepting and guiding home.”

Father, age 45

“Open communication on all decision-making.”

Father, age 28

“Not Catholic; much more open in conversation about mental health, sex, drugs; sex-positive; more politically literate.”

Mother, age 47

“I am trying to be more attentive to my children than my father was. Raising with more direct interaction and more forward-thinking and understanding nature.”

Father, age 35

“Gentle parenting versus authoritative.”

Mother, age 36

“Give them a good education and encourage their interests. Also make sure they feel loved.”

Father, age 34

“With emphasis on academic performance and attaining intellectual potential.”

Father, age 46

“I am trying to be positive with my daughter. I encourage her and tell her she is smart. I also make sure she knows we love her and care about her.”

Father, age 45

“Emphasize education, hard work.”

Mother, age 37

“Being involved in my children’s extracurricular activities.”

Mother, age 43

“Encourage them to think independently, allow them to be creative and grow, give them opportunities to explore the world in a safe and supported way.”

Father, age 42

“Avoid any physical discipline or yelling. Being more loving, understanding and caring.”

Father, age 46

“Not giving them everything they want. Learning the value of a dollar and working hard for the things you want and need instead of expecting it to be handed to them.”

Mother, age 34

“I try to avoid spanking my children.”

Mother, age 34

“Listening, respect, boundaries, leading with empathy and kindness.”

Mother, age 31

“Giving them more independence in what they want to pursue and not pressuring them to do what they are not interested in.”

Father, age 51

“To not be dependent on the government, to not be limited in their beliefs in themselves, and to be a giver to humanity.” 

Mother, age 49

“Coach and mentor my children to be a contributing member of society. Be a parent, not their friend. Explain the ‘why.’ Educate children on being … kids and the many challenges of growing up and being an objective voice.”

Father, age 47

REFERENCES:

https://stars.library.ucf.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?

article=3267&context=etd#:~:text=Parenting%20in%20Islam%20is%20viewed,framework%20of%20checks%20and%20balances.https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today/

“No physical abuse, with a more open dialect and lots of encouragement and unconditional love.”

Mother, age 40

“We decided to homeschool, I opted for a different spiritual path than the one I was mostly raised in, and we are a lot more flexible.”

Mother, age 54

“Giving them a little more freedom to learn to make their own decisions.”

Father, age 30

“My parents were too strict and controlling. I talk with my sons and we make decisions together.”

Mother, age 55

“I am raising my kids with a strong Christian foundation. I strive to live my life as an example of good, godly values for my kids. I impart in them the importance of love, family and fellowship.”

Father, age 41

“Saying yes sir and yes ma’am. Taking responsibility for their actions.”

Father, age 37

“We are planning on home-schooling.”

Mother, age 37

“Giving them freedom to do what they want but reigning them in when they go outside of the boundary.”

Father, age 46

“Give him a good-quality education [better] than the one I was exposed to.”

Father, age 36

“Emotional connection and more room to express feelings.”

Mother, age 39

“I’m trying to be more open so my child and I can have more conversations, and not be so judgmental as my parent was.”

Mother, age 42

“We are raising them based on the biblical teaching that our parents used as well. Fear God and to remember the Ten Commandments, love one another as God so loved us.”

Father, age 41

“Telling them how important getting an education [is], so they can live a better life.”

Mother, age 46

“Lead by example, and be tough but fair.”

Father, age 32

“To raise them in a way that they can be respectful of everyone that shows them respect.”

Mother, age 45

“By teaching them to love, honor and respect parents; love and serve God faithfully; stay faithful; love the country and obey the laws of the land; read the Bible.”

Mother, age 58

“Setting limits but letting them know I love them.”

Mother, age 31 (translated from Spanish)

“I hold my children accountable for their actions and don’t tolerate lying in any form.”

Father, age 48

“Having my kids do chores, be responsible for keeping track of their belongings and readying themselves for school/sports/extracurricular activities.”

Mother, age 49

“Eliminating bad traditions. Teaching core values that work like respect, work, God, and country.”

Father, age 50

“Outdoor school program. Not rushing academics at an early age.”

Father, age 44

“Making family a priority. Having dinner at the table together every night. Being involved in my kids’ school, sports and extracurricular activities. Being present.”

Mother, age 50

“Avoiding verbal abuse, cursing and put-downs.”

Father, age 44

“I want my children to know that a parent is supposed to be there for them 100% of the time, not just when it’s convenient.”

Mother, age 33

“Same discipline, same punishments, same rewards.”

Mother, age 40

“Trying not to scream at them as much as my parents did me.”

Father, age 39

“With personal example in the first place. In the warmth of a united family, based on respect and tolerance.”

Father, age 50 (translated from Spanish)

“My parents gave me a lot of leeway to explore my interests and relied on respect more than discipline to show us how to live.”

Father, age 46

“My parents were overprotective and didn’t let me do anything or go anywhere. They were also unable to afford to put me in any classes or lessons. They valued academics above all else. While I think academics is very important, I would like my children to have a more well-rounded upbringing.”

Mother, age 40

“I was never shown affection or told that my parents loved me. I am trying to show more love in my caregiving.”

Mother, age 44

“More actively engaged in school and what they are doing for extracurricular activities.”

Father, age 53

“I was raised in a very religious family, and I want my children to share the same faith.”

Mother, age 42

“I’m trying to raise them as respectful, productive adults with values, morals and integrity.”

Mother, age 40

“More grounded and conservative.”

Mother, age 49

“By having a strong parent-child relationship. Keeping an open door and an open mind.”

Mother, age 37

“I am not taking my kid to the church, and I am trying to teach my kid to be open and friendly to people ‘different’ than her.”

Mother, age 44

“No forced religious beliefs. Focus on teaching emotional intelligence and emotional regulation.”

Mother, age 43

“To achieve a good education by sitting with them and helping them do all [their] homework.”

Mother, age 29

“I was raised in a traditional environment and my parents were principled and strict disciplinarians. I believe children benefit and turn out well in such environments.”

Father, age 45

“Education, values and respect, all adapted to technology and the times of now.”

Mother, age 45 (translated from Spanish)

“To have high academic expectations, good morals, and be a responsible citizen.”

Mother, age 36

“To have good morals, be patient, kind, generous, smart, hard-working and have good common sense.”

Mother, age 56

“Trying to keep them independent and not being a helicopter parent.”

Mother, age 47

“Same model of discipline. Same morals and manners.”

Father, age 38

“Exposure to many opportunities – sports, leisure, etc. Good academic base and value education.”

Mother, age 43

“Making sure my children get a great education.”

Mother, age 53

“I’m giving my child the freedom to grow and pursue her passions.”

Mother, age 34

“My parents both worked so didn’t have a lot of time to play with me. I am lucky to be able to stay home now with my kids and spend a lot of time with them.”

Mother, age 42

“I try to give my children more trust, let them make more of their own decisions. I actively try to help them reach their own conclusions rather than forcing my beliefs on them. I see myself as a partner with them rather than a boss.”

Mother, age 39

“I was raised in a migrant farm-working family where the whole family worked on the weekends and summers. No time for sports or extracurricular activities. My kids will actually focus on being kids and not have to worry about having to grow up too fast and worry about money or bills.”

Father, age 43

“Manners and strict guidelines without being too authoritative.”

Father, age 28

“Good morals. Knows right from wrong.”

Mother, age 35

“Keeping faith a strong component of our family beliefs and traditions.”

Mother, age 48

“Don’t try to employ my values to them, let them define their own.”

Father, age 37

“Showing them daily and in many ways how they are loved and valued.”

Father, age 49

“I don’t demand that my son conform to my expectations for his life.”

Mother, age 52

“Not to be racist and to accept people in all colors, shapes, forms and sizes.”

Mother, age 50

“I’m letting my children choose their own paths and how they want to express themselves.”

Mother, age 35

“High expectations, but freedom to make and learn from mistakes.”

Father, age 48

“I’m much more involved in their day-to-day lives, mental and emotional well-being and aware of their friendships, relationships in general.”

Mother, age 51

“Ability to think on their own versus being told what to do about everything. Also, open about sexuality versus sex not being mentioned or a sexual being not being acknowledged. Last major way is self-expression with clothes, style, etc.”

Mother, age 52

“Trying to push them a little more on grades and schoolwork.”

Father, age 46

“I prioritize school more and the importance of good grades. I also have one child instead of three (like my parents) to ensure we have enough resources for activities, tutoring and organic good.”

Mother, age 41

“In a loving, caring and structured household.”

Mother, age 39

“More freedom for the children. Empower them to make their own decisions.”

Mother, age 46

“My wife and I are raising our children to be honest, respectful, hardworking, dependable yet letting them enjoy their youth while being responsible. All without child abuse.”

Father, age 38

“Encourage them to pursue their own interests and dreams and not ours as parents.”

Father, age 53

“Spending more time with them which includes playing, helping in studies.”

Father, age 47

“Encourage decision-making.”

Father, age 58

“I try to spend all the time I can with her and talk to her more than talk at her.”

Father, age 34

“With a lot of unconditional love.”

Mother, age 40

“I grew up in China where academic excellence is very important, and [for] my kid born here, well-rounded is more important.”

Mother, age 48

“I was raised in a time where physical punishment was more common and much more socially accepted, but I almost immediately strayed away from that when raising children of my own. I also was raised under the philosophy of parents never being wrong; where children were never meant to question or combat their parents’ words. This took longer to unlearn, but I want my children to feel like there’s a proper channel of open communication available between us so long as a certain level of respect is maintained.”

Mother, age 51

“Loving my child unconditionally, and supporting their educational and creative expressions, thoughts and endeavors.”

Mother, age 57

“Spend quality time with my child, read with them and sing songs.”

Mother, age 39

“My mother always talked to me about bullies, she encouraged my education and prepared me for school, she attended school functions/meetings, taught me about God, took out time to meet my friends, etc. I do all these things.”

Mother, age 41

“I always knew that if I needed my family that they would be there for me no matter the situation. I always had their love and support. I want them to know that it’s never a situation that they can’t come to me.”

Mother, age 37

“[Old-fashioned], having respect for others as well as the elderly, doing what’s right and living by the Bible!”

Father, age 50

“Raising kids with a respectful parenting approach. My parents were respectfully parenters, but not starting at an early age.”

Father, age 31

“God-fearing and loving household, two-parent home, building kids with character and grit.”

Mother, age 36

“I want them to be independent, save money, invest in their future, and become obsessed with their idea of success and not society’s ideas of success.”

Mother, age 38

“Teaching good values, respect others, and not to be racist. We all have the same value as humans, giving them advice that I never had. Times have changed, but we can’t change our morals.”

Father, age 47

“Being self-sustainable, less technologically dependent and more self-reliance in skills and abilities of hands-on work/labor.”

Mother, age 33

“More religious beliefs, more striving for excellence, and more educated, and more walking by faith and financial independence.”

Mother, age 59

“Being close to all my family. Being active in my kids’ lives.”

Father, age 49

“Let them be independent and not keep them inside the bubble.”

Father, age 51

“Instill morals, ethics, a sense of right and wrong, work ethic, respect for others, faith, and an understanding of correct principles that will help them succeed and to help others to succeed in life. I was raised the same way.”

Father, age 39

“I didn’t have a safe place to express my emotions of feeling understood. I try to have weekly talks with my kids to check in on their emotions to see how they are. Even if they had a good week, I have found it is still good to remind them you are there for them.”

Mother, age 32

“Stay away from family micro traditions and taboos.”

Mother, age 60

“Not trying to be a helicopter parent like my mom.”

Mother, age 28

“I want to raise my kid to be more independent and confident.”

Mother, age 29

“Promoting independence and exploration of identity.”

Father, age 42

“I was homeschooled in a conservative Christian home, without any goals for higher education. My children are in public school and I have three in college now with great opportunities for their future.”

Mother, age 40

“Breaking the generational curses of just yelling. Trying to understand that my kiddos are tiny humans with big emotions and to provide a safe base for communication about anything, even things that may not seem important to me, but to them it’s the world so I do my best to listen and advise as needed.”

Mother, age 28

“Recognize individual differences and not to enforce parent’s agenda.”

Mother, age 43

“Loving, accepting and guiding home.”

Father, age 45

“Open communication on all decision-making.”

Father, age 28

“Not Catholic; much more open in conversation about mental health, sex, drugs; sex-positive; more politically literate.”

Mother, age 47

“I am trying to be more attentive to my children than my father was. Raising with more direct interaction and more forward-thinking and understanding nature.”

Father, age 35

“Gentle parenting versus authoritative.”

Mother, age 36

“Give them a good education and encourage their interests. Also make sure they feel loved.”

Father, age 34

“With emphasis on academic performance and attaining intellectual potential.”

Father, age 46

“I am trying to be positive with my daughter. I encourage her and tell her she is smart. I also make sure she knows we love her and care about her.”

Father, age 45

“Emphasize education, hard work.”

Mother, age 37

“Being involved in my children’s extracurricular activities.”

Mother, age 43

“Encourage them to think independently, allow them to be creative and grow, give them opportunities to explore the world in a safe and supported way.”

Father, age 42

“Avoid any physical discipline or yelling. Being more loving, understanding and caring.”

Father, age 46

“Not giving them everything they want. Learning the value of a dollar and working hard for the things you want and need instead of expecting it to be handed to them.”

Mother, age 34

“I try to avoid spanking my children.”

Mother, age 34

“Listening, respect, boundaries, leading with empathy and kindness.”

Mother, age 31

“Giving them more independence in what they want to pursue and not pressuring them to do what they are not interested in.”

Father, age 51

“To not be dependent on the government, to not be limited in their beliefs in themselves, and to be a giver to humanity.” 

Mother, age 49

“Coach and mentor my children to be a contributing member of society. Be a parent, not their friend. Explain the ‘why.’ Educate children on being … kids and the many challenges of growing up and being an objective voice.”

Father, age 47

REFERENCES:

https://stars.library.ucf.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?

article=3267&context=etd#:~:text=Parenting%20in%20Islam%20is%20viewed,framework%20of%20checks%20and%20balances.https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today/

[islamicloveduas]

Dua For Happiness In Marriage

Assalam Walekum Rahmtullah Barkathhu to all my dear brothers and sisters seeking guidance and help from Allah. This dua for happiness in marriage has aided various couples in nourishing their marriages, resulting in a shower of blessings, happiness, and successful marriages with love. In Islam, it is a pure bond of husband and wife that stands strong on the foundation of love, understanding, and support.

Marriage is when a girl leaves her home to embark on the journey of a new life with her husband. After marriage, the husband becomes the most important person in a girl’s life. Marriage isn’t about the connection or physical relation; it is much more than that. If the marriage is away from happiness, then it will become difficult to stay together, and this changes the married life.

Fortunately, the dua we have today for you improves relationships and nurtures happiness in marriage. Allah has provided us with solutions for every problem in the Quran and hadiths. He has also sent us to help and guide you. 

Importance of a Happy Relationship

In Islam, having a relationship with your husband is very important. It is not about getting along and staying together; you also need a relationship of respect and happiness. A good relationship between husband and wife fosters the marriage with happiness and blessing. If both the people in a marriage love each other then it helps in building a strong foundation as well as a blessed future.

The happiness in marriage does not only benefit the couple but it is also very beneficial for the whole family and also the children they give birth. Marriage plays a very important role in Islam you must understand how can you make your marriage happy and successful. Happiness is very important whether it’s in your relations or in the work you do. 

A happy marriage brings prosperity in your life and makes your parents happy. This also improves the mental and physical health of the couple while they get protected from problems like depression and anxiety. Your skin starts glowing and you feel energetic with the help of dua for happiness in marriage. 

Things to Remember Before Dua For Happiness In Marriage

Intentions: if you are going to recite dua for happiness in marriage you must have pure intentions. Suppose you have any negative thoughts or have an evil intention of harming someone. Either you take the help of any evil power will also make your dua unfeffective. Always have a pure intention before you indulge in any religious activity.

Purity: When you are going to pray to Allah you must clean your mind and body first. A pure soul lives in a clean body. When we remember Allah and want him with us we have to take a bath and remove all bad and negative thoughts. 

Seeking Guidance: when we ask for help from Allah or pray to Allah we must seek his guidance in all our problems. When we leave everything to Allah he shows us the best path and gives us the best. You have to seek Allah to come close to you and give you what is written in your destiny.

Dua for Happy  Marriage in Islam

ومن ابنته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَل ينتكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَني

لقوم يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

Dua for Happy Marriage in Arabic: “Wa min Aayaatiheee an khalaqa lakum min anfusikum azwaajal litaskunooo ilaihaa wa ja’ala bainakum mawad datanw wa rahmah; inna fee zaalika la Aayaatil liqawminy yatafakkaroon.”

Translation: And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed those are signs for people who give thought.

[freakslubberdegullion]

Life update Pt. 2

One year. It has been more than one year since my last post. Career wise, Alhamdulillah. I managed to make some saving, pampered myself and family, purchased pricey things that had always been my dreams. Alhamdulillah, I'm eternally grateful for the rizq from Allah for me and my family. Religious wise, I have no improvement; or should I say, worse. I'm ashamed of it, and I don't even know what I'm waiting for bcs the changes won't come unless I put effort to do it. I just hope Allah ease the way for me to become better person, better daughter, sister and friends. Love wise -hm I don't even know where to start. Sometimes I think that I might not have rizq in love on this dunya. But huge part of me wants to have life partner that I can depend on. I also realised that in order to get good person for ourselves, we need to work on ourselves to become worthy of a good man; become equally a good companion for our partner. Bcs your partner is a reflection of you, and I hope Allah bless me with rizq to have good husband that brings me closer to Him. Huge part of me also wish that the man in question will be him, specifically. I even asked my friend to make dua' for me regarding this during her time doing umrah. May Allah grant all her dua's. Some part of me, even my friends- can't help but think how impossible my wishes are. But I am asking The Only One that make the impossible possible. So all I can do is have faith and be patient. Oh ya talking about that, he'll enlist next month on November 4th and will come back on 2026; where I will be 30. I can't help but to overthink things but again, I won't get depress over things I have no control of and have faith. I will just focus on me in the mean time, though I know some part of me will leave with him... but what can I do hahah. I will miss him a lot. I wish him the best. Also, maybe because I'm getting old; I always think about losing my loved ones, Nauzubillah. I know it bound to happen one day but all I pray is for my family to live a long healthy and happy life. May Allah grant me rizq to make them more happy and give me chances to pamper them more. I want to be better person bcs this dunya is temporary. Akhirah is the real life. 23 Oct 2024|01:15am| PRYVT- if its not you

[omniaa]

My dear friend, I ask for help from your humility. I am Sumaya from northern Gaza. My husband and I were displaced more than 5 times, and now my husband and I live in a worn-out tent 💔😓 and I lost my newborn because the tent is not fit for life 💔💔 Please help me by donating, sharing

and reblogging 🙏🏻🙏🏻💔

https://gofund.me/1c7df49e

Please keep on making duas . And donate and share it enormously

[say-a-yes]

HELLO, 30 YEARS OLD AYESHA IS HERE

Wah gila sih. Long time no write broooooooooo.

Jadi ceritanya aku abis nutupin tab-tab di chrome hapeku terus aku nemu akun writeas ku yang lama, tulisan taun 2020. ANJIR BAGUS YA AKU NULISNYA (tapi bxb)

Terus aku scroll tumblr ini ampe taun 2016 yang which is 8 taun yang lalu yang ya ampun sangat berbeda dengan aku yang sekarang. Aku 3-4 tahun terakhir beneran krisis sih. Yang selama ini aku tulis disini gak ada apa-apanya WKWKW

INI SEMUA GARA-GARA COVID.

I feel like it took my 3 years of my life, I am stuck in that unmoved 3 years.

Anyway, dipersingkat dulu ceritanya.

I was happy with my job. Freelance, gaji dolar, jalan-jalan. Covid datang. Aku gak bisa jalan-jalan. Kerjaan macet dan rate-nya sangat turun jadi gak worth it buat dilanjutin. Dalam 3 tahun my parents expected my to get married yang bahkan kalo ga covid pun ga tau dah bisa nikah apa gak :'D Terus aku balikan sama dua mantan yang aku punya dan dua-duanya putus (INI SUPER PANJANG LAGI CERITANYA). To put it simply, my parents blamed me for those failed relationships and gaslighted me to this and that. Udah gak bisa kemana-mana gara-gara karantina, bisnisku bangkrut, hubungan sama orang tua sangat memburuk. Aku masih belum bisa deket lagi sama mama sampai detik ini. Sama teman di Malang kok juga makin kesini makin gak cocok. Tapi best thing happened because of covid was aku jadi deket banget sama icun dan vita sih.

So I started on things that I should not. Pertama nyoba dikit-dikit. Keterusan.

Karantina udah selesai, aku kabur kejauhan. Pertamanya cuma liburan. Dua minggu, sebulan, dua bulan.

Sekarang I am officially living in Jakarta, almost a year.

Kabur, tapi dengan tujuan. I am pursuing career.

Sumpah ini gatau mau nulis darimana dulu WKWKWKW. Anyway this moment, I am happy where I am now. Aku ketemu sama orang-orang baik. Gak tau kok bisa-bisanya Harris masuk ke hidupku. Harris ini orang Korea, lulusan Berkeley, CEO global of this company headquartered in Singapore. Kegiatanku sehari-hari ngurusin bisnis-bisnisnya dia dan ngobrol ama istrinya latihan bahasa Inggris (sama ambil kelas bahasa Korea sih). They are sooo nice to me. Kasih aku opportunities diseleksi dulu mana yang bagus buat aku, dan keep it for me first.

Dan aku sampe nangis ngomong ke istrinya, "I am so thankful that I met you and your husband. You are the first people who tell me that I am young, you both believe in me, my skill, and everything, even when my parents said to me I am too old for this and that."

Trus dia cuma jawab, "Ah, you are power F."

Tapi aku sama si Audrey ini kek bestie abis, anaknya udah dua, umur 4 sama 5 taun, dan kita sama-sama E. Kalo ngobrol gak habis topiknya. Aku yang terharu lagi dia bilang, "You should watch Emily in Paris. She is very bright and cheerful, I see you in her."

Anyway, flashback lagi. Di tengah aku yang pas itu masi kabur dikit-dikit, aku beneran butuh escape trus aku bisa-bisanya ketemu orang seperti AU, kek perasaan hidupku yang kemaren-kemaren dengan segala kebetulannya udah kayak drakor, tapi yang ini SUPER AU.

Kocaknya lagi, aku baca tulisan-tulisanku taun 2020 kok PERSIS BENERAN KEJADIAN. PANTESAN aku kemaren-kemaren sangat invested sekali karena I was living my own writing. Ntar deh aku post disini tulisan-tulisanku. (Warning: contains angst)

He was the trigger sih. Dari yang nyoba dikit-dikit jadi nyoba banyak hal. Melebar. Makin bervariasi. (Apa hayoo)

I am not I was before. I don't know if I could ever turn back, or I was never really there? Moving to this big city, meeting new people, new places, new experiences, kayaknya dari pada merubah cara pikirku, lebih tepat memvalidasi pertanyaanku selama ini.

But anyway, I am thankful juga sih mengalami ini semua di umur segini yang mana otakku sudah berkembang secara sempurna so I still on my own boundaries and rules.

Ntar deh kalo sempet aku tulis satu-satu entah love life, friendship life, career, keluarga. I went through a LOT ZUZURRRR, especially this last one year WKWK. Ini aku coba ngitung berapa cowok dalam 4 tahun terakhir ya... sepuluh lagi.... tapi ya... gak ada yang pacaran..... ini jalan (?) dua atau tiga ya... eh empat...

Bahkan aku dapet super closure yang amat sangat jelek sekali bung character developmentnya. Penonton kecewa (dan trauma).

So yeah. A bit life update.

P.S. aku sedang terkiwir-kiwir sama (tumben) mas-mas tapi beda agama :D Aku tungguin teman-temanku melarang kok enggak seh :)) Pada bilang ya udah coba aja dulu :)))) bahaya padahal