#dropping this and disappearing back into obscurity
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hrrtshape · 18 hours ago
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things i love in my FAME DR
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⋆  drinking champagne on a random tuesday just because i can.
⋆  driving a vintage convertible with the top down in LA traffic, blasting my own songs.
⋆  being so known that people quote my lyrics like poetry on social media.
⋆  the absolute artistry in my vogue italia cover shoots.
⋆  randomly flying to paris…or milan…..or berlin for a dior, miu miu…HERMESSSS fitting—because, duh, i’m their muse.
⋆  seeing my movies being studied in film schools like they’re modern classics.
⋆  sneaking a cigarette on the balcony at the oscars after winning.
⋆  walking barefoot backstage because my heels were killing me.
⋆  getting unhinged fan edits that make me cry and scream at the same time.
⋆  performing at coachella while visibly high off my rocker—and nobody caring.
⋆  writing songs that feel like therapy for me and my fans.
⋆  tom blyth. 
⋆  always having a stash of…uhm….special powder in my gucci clutch—classy, chic, unhinged. very 50s star.
⋆  wearing vintage chanel on grocery runs just to feel extra.
⋆  posing dramatically on yachts during european summers.
⋆  owning a gallery-worthy art collection in my mansion.
⋆  crying during interviews and still getting called “so brave and real.”
⋆  that iconic met gala moment when i wore THAT dress everyone still talks about.
⋆  my diary entries being turned into art—fans eat it up.
⋆  tripping on red carpets and making it fashion.
⋆  messy nights in ibiza.
⋆  doing photo shoots with baby animals just because it’s cute.
⋆  dressing like a modern marie antoinette for a themed gala.
⋆  fans tattooing my lyrics on their skin—forever.
⋆  spending a whole weekend at a spa retreat just to recover from partying.
⋆  hosting insane house parties where EVERYONE shows up.
⋆  scandals.
⋆  being so unapologetically messy that it’s endearing to the public.
⋆  being a walking contradiction—diva but down-to-earth.
⋆  leaving paparazzi photos with my mascara smudged everywhere—aesthetic.
⋆  showing up late to events but making an entrance.
⋆  my hair being an absolute serve 24/7, even messy buns.
⋆  touring the world, performing while fans scream every lyric back at me.
⋆  married men.
⋆  the unshakable LOVE from my fans, who see me for all my messy, beautiful, insane glory.
⋆ accidentally causing global trends—like wearing a mismatched outfit and suddenly it’s high fashion.
⋆  randomly disappearing from social media for weeks and sending fans into a frenzy.
⋆  posting cryptic captions that spark 10,000 conspiracy theories.
⋆  photographers constantly snapping candid pics of me reading some obscure classic novel in public. book club incoming ???
⋆  wearing diamonds that literally weigh more than my head. hell yea.
⋆  constantly being compared to old hollywood icons like elizabeth taylor, but with a “modern tragic edge.”
⋆  writing poetry on napkins during nights out.
⋆  sneaking into museums after-hours because art IS just better without people around.
⋆  my team dragging me out of the club because i have a press interview in six hours.
⋆  my, my, my, my!!! name constantly being whispered on red carpets—“she’s here.”
⋆  dilfs, part 2. did i stutter?
⋆  fans screaming louder for me than anyone else at film premieres. i’m a bit of an attention whore if u haven’t decoded that already😔
⋆  causing heated debates over my most “controversial” songs (when I’m just vibing).
⋆  dropping albums with no promo, knowing it’ll still hit #1 in 47 countries. attention whore part 2.
⋆  literally JUST EXISTING and still being considered the cultural moment.
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akechi-stole-my-heart · 2 days ago
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Goro whirls around. His heart thumps wildly as he searches the crowd for the face he just saw so vividly, so distinctly, among them. But there's nothing. As always, there's nothing there when he looks carefully. The ghost only exists in the corner of his vision. The blood only stains his fingers when he isn't looking.
He turns around, forcing down the panic and continuing on, as he must. There's nothing there. There never was anything there.
Goro drops his mug of coffee. There, in the corner of the room out of the corner of his eye, stands the visage of the man he killed. No, he tells himself, pointedly not looking in that corner, keeping it out of sight. He's not there. There's nothing there. There never is. 
The spilled coffee stains the tile dark brown, much like his blood had stained the table bright red.
He turns, slowly, and looks carefully into that corner. And there, translucent but very much visible, stands….Kurusu Akira. Goro blinks, but he remains. His forehead showcases that bullet hole he put there, blood still seeping down his face and into his eyes, but Kurusu doesn't blink. He stares at Goro, into his soul, until Goro thinks he might disappear from the scrutiny.
“Akira…?” He steps forward, toward the ghost of the man he killed, and reaches out.
The moment he touches Kurusu’s arm, he vanishes, and Goro is once again alone in his apartment.
“This isn't real,” says Goro, between each kiss. “You aren't real.”
“I've gone and driven you mad,” agrees Akira, shoving a hand up his shirt, and Goro moans.
“You're dead,” says Goro, as Akira pins his wrists to his bed and kisses his neck. “I killed you.”
“And now I'll haunt you until you follow me to an early grave,” agrees Akira, leaning back so Goro can see that bullet hole barely obscured by those messy, beautiful bangs. The blood still seeping from the wound drips down onto his own face. Akira licks it off his cheek.
“I miss you,” says Goro, as tears mingle with blood.
“Too late,” agrees Akira, silencing him with one final kiss. “See you soon, darling,” he croons, and Goro can't get himself to say a single word as he disappears, his figure fading into the dark of his apartment.
Akira doesn't appear to him again, after that.
Goro is finally left utterly alone.
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vioislit · 5 months ago
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is it glaringly obvious she's a silkcat lovechild? perhaps. do I care? not particularly
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lxvsiick · 2 months ago
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CALLING ON MY ANGEL | PARK SUNGHOON X READER
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PAIRING: troublemaker! park sunghoon x good girl! fem! reader
SUMMARY: She was a sweet angel in his world of darkness.
GENRE: imagine, grumpy x sunshine?
WORDCOUNT: 3.3k
A/N: honestly, i don't know what was going on in my head when i wrote this -- but chase atlantic and enhypen just go together so well ,, anyways this is a story/imagine inspired by the song ANGELS by Chase Atlantic! Enjoy!
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It was late, and the streetlights flickered dimly, casting long shadows across the pavement as Y/n made her way home from her shift at the convenience store. Her steps were light, but exhaustion weighed her down. The night air was crisp, the silence only broken by the occasional car passing by.
As she turned the corner, a group of guys about her age noticed her. Their voices lowered to murmurs, and then, as if on cue, they called out to her.
"Hey, pretty lady, what’s the rush?" one of them asked, his tone slimy and casual.
Y/n tensed immediately, her heart racing as they approached her, their confidence unnerving. They surrounded her, blocking her path, their grins widening as they tried to engage her with flirty remarks that only made her skin crawl.
"Come on, stay and chat for a bit," another one urged, his voice dropping in what he likely thought was a charming way.
"I... I really need to go," she stammered, trying to sound firm but unable to hide the tremor in her voice. Her eyes darted around, looking for an escape, but the street was empty.
The guys chuckled, sensing her discomfort and ignoring her quiet rejection. One of them stepped even closer, his hand grazing her arm, making her shrink back in fear. Just as panic started to rise in her chest, a figure appeared on the sidewalk, heading in their direction.
Sunghoon walked toward them, his head down, the hood of his black hoodie pulled low over his face. Without slowing his pace, he bumped into one of the guys, shoulder to shoulder, knocking him slightly off balance.
"Hey, watch it!" the guy barked, turning aggressively. But when he saw Sunghoon’s face, he froze. The cut on his cheek was still fresh, and the bruise beneath his eye only added to the dark, dangerous aura he carried. His expression was cold, unreadable, and his reputation preceded him.
"Wait... that’s him," one of the other guys muttered in panic, recognition flashing across his face. Sunghoon and his group were well-known around campus—troublemakers you didn’t mess with unless you had a death wish.
The tension in the air shifted immediately. Without another word, the group of guys glanced at each other nervously and started to back off, retreating with hasty steps as they muttered excuses under their breath. They quickly disappeared down the street, their bravado shattered.
For a moment, Y/n stood frozen in place, her heart still pounding. Then, she let out a shaky breath, relief flooding her as she turned to face her unexpected savior.
"Thank you," she whispered, her voice barely audible in the quiet night.
Sunghoon didn’t respond. He merely continued walking, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie, his face obscured beneath the hood. But there was something about his presence that eased her fear. Without thinking, she began to follow him.
He didn’t look back, but after a few steps, his pace slowed, just enough for her to catch up. They walked side by side in silence, the tension of the moment gradually fading away. The comfort of his silent protection was enough to keep her calm as they walked through the empty streets, heading in the same direction.
Though no words were spoken, the quiet connection between them felt stronger than any conversation they could have had.
♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧
Y/n strolled down the school hallway, a bounce in her step and a smile on her face. In each hand, she held a can of soda, one of them a free gift from the vending machine that had decided to be generous today. The students who passed by greeted her with warm smiles and waves, and she returned them just as brightly. Known for her kind heart and friendly demeanor, she was one of those people everyone gravitated toward.
As she approached the quieter end of the hall, where the lights dimmed slightly and fewer students wandered, a faint groan reached her ears. She slowed her pace, her smile fading as curiosity took over. Her eyes scanned the area, searching for the source of the sound.
Then she spotted him—Sunghoon, slumped against the wall, half-hidden in the shadowed corner of the hallway. His head rested back, eyes shut, a pained expression on his face. He looked like he had just come out of a brawl, the bruises on his face making it clear that he hadn’t come out unscathed.
Letting out a quiet gasp, she hurried over to him, crouching down beside him. “Are you okay?” she asked softly, concern lacing her voice.
Sunghoon groaned again, wincing as he tried to shift slightly. “Go away,” he muttered through gritted teeth, his voice rough and tired.
Y/n didn’t budge. She tilted her head, eyes narrowing as she studied his battered face. Then, as if a lightbulb flicked on in her mind, an idea popped into her head. Without a word, she grabbed the extra can of soda from her hand and gently pressed it against his bruised cheek.
He winced at the cold metal against his skin, eyes flying open in surprise. “What the—” he started, only to stop short when he saw her sitting there, looking at him with that same concerned expression.
“Use it,” she said, offering him a small smile. “And you really should stop getting into so many fights.”
For a moment, he didn’t know what to say. His usual tough exterior seemed to falter as he stared at her, completely caught off guard. She looked so calm, so kind, her face glowing in the soft light filtering into the hallway. In his dazed state, she looked almost angelic—like someone who didn’t belong in the world of trouble and chaos he often found himself in.
She seemed to notice him staring and a faint blush crept up her cheeks. Flustered, she quickly stood up, brushing imaginary dust off her skirt. “Anyway, um, I’ve got to go,” she stammered, taking a step back. “Take care of yourself, okay?”
Before he could respond, she turned and hurried off down the hall, leaving him behind, still holding the can of soda against his cheek. He watched her retreating figure, the echo of her footsteps fading into the distance.
As he sat there, her words and that small act of kindness played over in his mind. A strange warmth filled his chest—a feeling he wasn’t used to.
For the first time in a while, Sunghoon wasn’t sure what to make of it.
♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧
Y/n stood behind the counter of the convenience store, her fingers idly tapping against the scanner as the hum of fluorescent lights filled the quiet air. It was a slow night—until the bell above the door jingled, announcing a loud group entering the store. Her gaze lifted, recognizing Sunghoon and his six friends immediately. They were laughing and talking, their voices filling the otherwise calm atmosphere.
She couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight of him. When his eyes finally met hers from across the store, she gave him a small, friendly wave. But instead of a smile in return, he only nodded coolly before turning his attention back to his friends.
She swallowed, her smile faltering as she watched him walk over to join his group, who were busy picking out snacks and drinks from the aisles. Despite the brief, almost indifferent interaction, she found herself glancing over at him every now and then, wondering what was going through his mind.
A few minutes later, his friends approached the register, arms full of snacks and drinks, still chattering away. She straightened up, putting on her professional face as they piled their items onto the counter.
“That’ll be $19,851 wons,” she said after scanning everything.
Jake shot her a mischievous grin. “Oh, don’t worry, Sunghoon is paying,” he said with a wink. Before she could react, the whole group hurried out of the store, leaving her standing there, blinking in surprise.
Moments later, Sunghoon appeared at the counter, his usual stoic expression in place. He handed her his card without a word.
Her hands felt a little shaky as she took it, swiping it through the machine. The silence between them felt heavy, almost awkward. She could feel her heart beating faster, though she couldn’t quite figure out why. As she handed his card back, Sunghoon spoke up, “So... when does your shift end?”
His question caught her off guard, and she almost fumbled with his card in surprise. “Uh, it ends later tonight,” she replied, trying to keep her voice steady as she handed him back his card.
He nodded, the silence between them settling again as she finished ringing him up. When the receipt printed, he took it without a word and left, the bell above the door jingling once more as he disappeared into the night.
The rest of her shift passed uneventfully, but Sunghoon’s brief question kept playing over in her mind. She wasn’t sure why, but it left her feeling unsettled, a strange mix of anticipation and confusion curling in her chest.
As she finally closed up for the night, locking the door behind her, she stepped outside, breathing in the cool night air. But before she could take another step, her eyes caught sight of a familiar figure leaning against the wall near the store—Sunghoon.
Surprise flickered across her face. “You waited for me?” she asked, her voice soft with disbelief.
He pushed himself off the wall, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Figured I’d walk you home,” he said simply, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
She couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips, warmth spreading in her chest. “Thanks,” she murmured, falling into step beside him as they began the familiar walk home together. Neither of them spoke much, but the quiet between them felt comfortable, different from the silence at the store. This time, it wasn’t awkward—just... them.
And for the first time that night, she felt a strange sense of calm, knowing he was there.
♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧
Sunghoon walked through the crowded halls of the school, his usual scowl firmly in place. The sound of shuffling feet and murmured conversations surrounded him, but none of the students dared meet his gaze as they passed by. Some even went as far as to move out of his way, heads down, whispering under their breath like he was a storm to avoid.
He was used to it by now—being the "troublemaker" on campus had that effect. But today, the weight of the stares seemed heavier than usual.
As he reached the lockers near the entrance, his ears caught the sound of a hushed conversation nearby. The voices weren’t meant to be overheard, but they were just loud enough for him to pick up bits and pieces.
“...Have you heard? Y/n’s been hanging around with him.”
“I know, right? She’s way too nice for someone like him. He’s bad news...”
“She doesn’t deserve that. What if he rubs off on her?”
Sunghoon stopped in his tracks, his jaw tightening as he listened. They didn’t even try to hide their judgment.
“She’s sweet. She shouldn’t be mixed up with a guy like him,” another voice chimed in.
His hand clenched into a fist by his side, but he resisted the urge to turn around and confront them. What would be the point? People had always made assumptions about him, and it seemed like no matter what he did, that wasn’t going to change. But now, it wasn’t just about him—it was about her. And that made something burn in his chest.
Letting out a huff of frustration, he stuffed his hands into his pockets, turning on his heel to walk out of the building. His footsteps echoed loudly against the floor as he pushed through the double doors, his mind racing with the words he had just overheard.
They think I’m bad for her? The thought gnawed at him. Part of him wanted to ignore it, brush it off like he always did. But this time was different. This time, it bothered him more than he cared to admit.
Because, despite his reputation and the way others looked at him, he cared about Y/n. And the last thing he wanted was for her to be caught in the crossfire of people’s judgments because of him. He clenched his jaw, replaying the whispers in his mind.
They don’t know her. They don’t know me.
With a heavy sigh, he stepped outside, feeling the cool air hit his face. He pulled the hood of his black hoodie over his head, trying to shake off the frustration that clung to him. The more he thought about it, the more their words stung, even though he didn’t want them to.
His pace quickened as he made his way down the steps, his thoughts clouded with doubt. He didn’t want to drag her down, but he also didn’t want to push her away. After all, they had gotten close in the past few weeks. For the first time in a long while, he had someone who saw him as more than just his reputation. Someone who didn’t flinch when she saw him, who wasn’t afraid to be around him.
But if staying close to her meant she’d have to deal with all the rumors and whispers... what then?
With his hands still deep in his pockets, he walked out of the school and into the garden, unsure of what he was supposed to do next. All he knew was that the idea of losing her, even as just a friend, felt worse than anything those students could ever say.
♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧
Y/n strolled through the school’s garden, enjoying the calm of the late afternoon. The sunlight filtered through the trees, casting a warm glow on the path. As she rounded a corner, her eyes landed on a familiar figure standing by the old wooden bench. It was Sunghoon, and something about his posture caught her attention.
Her steps slowed as she approached, a frown forming on her face. The closer she got, the more she could see the new cuts and bruises marring his face. It was clear he had been in some sort of altercation recently, and the sight made her heart sink.
"Hey," she called out softly, trying to keep her voice steady. "Are you okay?"
Sunghoon didn’t turn to face her, his shoulders tense. He muttered, "I’m fine. Just go away."
The dismissiveness in his tone stung. Y/n hesitated for a moment, her worry overriding her instinct to back off. She stepped closer, her eyes searching his face. "You don’t look fine. What happened?"
He turned his head slightly, just enough to show his irritation. "I said I’m fine. It’s nothing."
The Y/n’s concern deepened, her eyes softening with empathy. She reached out a tentative hand, but he shrugged it off, a frustrated edge to his movements.
"Stop asking," he snapped, his voice harsh. "I don’t need you to worry about me."
The words were like a slap in the face. Y/n felt a mix of confusion and hurt. Why was he pushing her away like this? She couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t let her help, why he was so determined to shut her out.
"Please," she said quietly, her voice almost a whisper now. "Let me help."
But he was already turning away, storming off down the path with a heavy, deliberate pace. The back of his hoodie was the only thing she could see as he walked away, the anger and frustration radiating from his form.
Y/n stood there, rooted to the spot. The tranquil garden seemed to mock her as she watched him go. The gentle rustling of leaves felt distant, and the beauty of the afternoon was lost on her. Her heart ached, both for him and for the rift that was growing between them.
She wanted to chase after him, to bridge the gap he was so determined to create, but something held her back. She felt helpless and confused, the worry for him battling with the sting of his rejection. All she could do was watch as he disappeared into the distance, leaving her standing there with a sinking feeling in her chest.
She sighed heavily, her emotions a tangled mess. As the garden’s serenity settled back around her, she finally turned and walked away, her steps slow and heavy, her mind racing with unanswered questions.
♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧
The clock on Y/n's bedside table ticked softly as she lay sprawled on her bed, scrolling through her phone. The room was dimly lit by the soft glow of her bedside lamp, creating a cozy, almost ethereal atmosphere. Her thumb paused over the screen as a new message notification popped up.
Curious, she tapped on the message from Sunghoon: 
"Can we meet at the park? I need to talk to you."
She hesitated for a moment, a flicker of worry crossing her face. Despite the late hour, something about the message made her heart race. Quickly, she threw on a white cardigan over her pajamas, the light fabric falling gracefully as she shrugged it on. Taking a deep breath, she headed out into the cool night air.
The park was a short walk away, and the streets were quiet, save for the occasional rustle of leaves. As she arrived, the park’s lone streetlamp cast a warm, golden glow over the pathway. Her eyes searched the area until they landed on Sunghoon, who was standing by the old wooden bench. The lamp illuminated his face, and he looked up as she approached.
The sight of her, framed by the soft light of the streetlamp, took his breath away. The white cardigan contrasted with her long, dark hair, giving her an almost angelic appearance. His heart ached as he saw her—beautiful, serene, and entirely too good for the mess he felt he had become.
When she reached him, he didn't say a word. Instead, he closed the distance between them and pulled her into a tight hug. The embrace was warm and comforting, and Y/n hesitated only for a moment before wrapping her arms around him in return.
"What's going on?" she asked softly, her voice muffled by his shoulder. "Why did you want to see me?"
Sunghoon buried his face in her hair, his voice barely audible as he mumbled, "I just... I needed to see you. I’m sorry for how I acted the other day. I was wrong to push you away."
The sincerity in his voice made her heart ache. She could feel the tension in his body, the regret in his touch. She held him a little tighter, her own feelings swirling—relief, concern, and an overwhelming sense of compassion.
"Why didn't you just tell me what was going on?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly.
He sighed, pulling back just enough to look into her eyes. The shadows of the night danced across his face, but the vulnerability in his gaze was unmistakable. "I didn’t want to drag you into my problems. I thought it would be better if I handled it alone."
Y/n shook her head, her eyes filled with empathy. "You don’t have to go through things alone. I’m here for you, no matter what."
A faint smile touched his lips, a glimmer of hope breaking through his troubled expression. "I know now. I should have known better."
They stood there for a moment, the silence between them filled with unspoken words and emotions. The cool night air seemed to hold its breath as they embraced again, the world outside fading away.
"Thank you for coming," he said softly, his voice a gentle murmur.
She smiled up at him, her heart lighter despite the heavy conversation. "I’ll always come when you need me."
As they stood together under the streetlamp’s warm glow, it felt as though the night had woven a fragile thread of understanding and connection between them—one that would help mend the rift that had formed.
♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧
PART TWO | YOU CAME TO ME, MY ANGEL
MASTERLIST
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© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, lxvsiick, 2024
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tojisun · 1 year ago
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“shopping for your brother?”
you trip at hearing the question, your lips parting in surprise as you whip to look at the clerk. she blinks at you amidst her own shock before turning her eyes down to your hands where a faux fatigued boonie dangled between your pinched fingers.
you watch as she glances back at you before shooting a look towards simon, having seen the two of you walk in together. he’s standing on the far side of the shop, attracting electric looks from everyone – you couldn’t even blame them because even your mouth is watering at the sight that he makes.
still, the insinuation that you couldn’t possibly be simon’s partner stung. forgotten insecurities are rising once again, rippling against the quiet elation that once filled you up.
“um,” you begin, clearing your throat at hearing your voice brokenly taper off. “it’s for, uh, my boyfriend.”
the clerk stares at you for a second before her cheeks fill up with red, the blush descending from her forehead to her neck.
“bloody hell,” she utters. “i’m so sorry.” she scurries away after that, disappearing into their storage room where you think she’s going to stay until you and simon leave.
and you’re willing to do just that. you drop the boonie and walk towards simon, trying to ignore the bitterness that is stinging in the back of your throat. simon uncrosses his arms – tattoos and muscles obscured by the expanse of paper bags that he insisted he pay and carry for you – and holds his hand out for you to take. you look at it, hesitating, before you shake your head and walk out on your own.
you can’t hear him follow you but you know he is there, quiet in his assessment of both the surroundings and of what happened to make you upset. you blink the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes, trying to hide your distress as much as you can.
but it is futile because the next thing you know, simon’s pulling you away from the busy stretch of the mall and into an obscured exit point with dim lights and narrow halls. he drops the bags onto the floor before tugging on your wrists with firm gentleness.
“what happened?” his voice is gruff but worry is evident in his tone.
“it’s nothing,” you say, sniffing. “just tired.”
he hums, and you know that he doesn’t believe you. you sigh, turning away from him as you mutter, “i dunno why you like me.” you chew on your words, hoping he wouldn’t understand. but you feel him stiffen before you, his back tensing like he is preparing for a fight.
you know he is angry – not at you. never at you. and seeing his protective nature spark up just at the mere mention of your insecurity makes your lips wobble, your eyes blurring as tears pool once again.
you hear him let out a sharp curse before he’s pulling you in his embrace, tucking your head under his chin and engulfing you in his arms. he’s so big and all muscles, but he’s so, so warm. you nuzzle your cheek on his chest, letting out a content sigh when you feel his lips press on the top of your head.
“you know that i love you, don’t you, sweetheart?” simon asks, thinly-veiled desperation curling at his words.
you nod, shy all of sudden. he clicks his tongue.
“use y’r words, love.”
you peer up at him, your pouty lips quivering into a small smile at meeting his intense gaze, his beautiful eyes tracking the details of your face like he can’t get enough of you.
you see simon’s reverence and feel your heart melt.
“yeah,” you finally reply, swiping your tongue on your chapped lips and feeling your cheeks warm up at the way his eyes zeroed in on the action. “i know it well, si.”
he grunts before he is bending forward to press his lips over yours, your eyes fluttering close to savour the kiss. he is gentle as he guides you through it, prompting you to part your lips just enough for him to deepen the kiss – tongues swiping against each other and soft moans being engulfed by both of you.
you are panting by the time he pulls away, his eyes dilated in pleasure. you wonder if you look just as debauched, just as desperate for more.
“wanna take this somewhere else?” simon murmurs, just the sound of his grave voice already making you tremble.
you scramble to say yes, your words lilting together in your excitement. simon chuckles and presses a quick kiss on your lips before he’s picking up the shopping bags and herding the two of you out.
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death---dealer · 5 months ago
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Cleopatra. ( Caesar x Pregnant! Human Reader, Drabble Series. POTA )
I should not listen to myself i said 5 drabbles well well here we are with like 6 and close to 7K words and most of them are smaller oneshots AH. Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated. I am working on a similiar piece for NOAAAAA!!!!
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Beginnings. ( Drabble 1. )
You felt like you couldn’t breathe - the air was sticking onto your lungs, coating them in ashen dust that was laying on the ground of the woods. You needed to move --- Okay, maybe not, grunting that inside of your mind as you attempted to shift your head just a bit to get a bearing onto your surroundings proved futile as red hit your eyes and your neck convulsed under the usual movement. Pain radiated from the back of your head, down to the base of your neck and stagnantly danced on the nerves piled there. Even shifting to press your hand against your stomach was an endeavor and even then, the blood that was on the palm of your hand… You squinted at it, fear setting in as the last drop of whatever adrenaline you had faded into obscurity.
 Was… Was that your blood? Trying to swallow was impossible, planting your face down into the mud and letting out a strangled cry as you attempted to move once again, your teeth gritting against each other but in the scape of the situation, that felt heavenly as compared to the tattering that was running through your muscles. Saliva began mixing into the already impure snow under your body having been mixed previously with mud. One foot, you tried to convince yourself. You just needed one… On… One… Looking down at your right foot as you managed to get yourself kneeling, accomplishment was short-lived as your ears rang, your center of gravity disappearing as did your vision. Falling back, your body was hard to hit the ground. 
In a fitted haze of unconsciousness, you could have sworn you were… Swooped up in one foul move by a set of arms that were much hairier than a humans. Warm, you had thought to yourself, but that could be swelling in your brain telling you that death was on the horizon. Death… Sounded nice versus the incredible tremors of your body, throwing into a it of hypothermia, a cusp of bruises and cut-marks aligning against your already frigid skin to the point where it felt you were going to shatter into shards if you were moved too quickly, to feverishly. How selfishly you wanted to open the door where the knock was coming from. But you had more to think about than just yourself now. 
Flinching at the pain of your abdomen, a pair of hands were astute enough to deduce your intensely fragile situation. 
What… is happening?
Voice of God, it had to be. It trembled in a deep setting baritone, hard and unforgiving. Yes, you wanted to cry, I am with Child but I… Can’t find it in myself… to live…
Found in woods! Nearby Human Camp--- This voice was light and airy but you were unable to process the words that came after that, your mind bending into a haze as you tried to get yourself into a state of lucidity so you could actually focus.  Brought back to Colony when saw she was still alive.
Colony? You wanted to tilt your head but in your jilted state, you were unable to move.
With Child. Not far along, but both will survive if we keep her here and heal.
This voice was a bit more soft spoken, gentle and caressing like the hands that were now placed on your head, your eyes refusing even the most basic of knowledge from your brain to get them open. It smelt like conifer, the highest tree possible, a bird sitting atop and watching the inklings of the ground below its mighty perch. Heaven? There was a lax in the air of contemplation before the baritone voice from earlier spoke. 
She will stay, do what you can to heal. 
And with that command and your mind taking itself to the darkness, even in the state of your eyelids being shut, everything went black. 
Empathetic Ape. ( Drabble 2. )
It did not take long after you finally willed yourself out of your semi-coma to realize that you… Had been taken prisoner by a Colony of Apes. In your mind, you drew the conclusion from the snippets of the conversation you got when you were first brought here in your altered state of reality that… They had found you. Half-alive and brought you back to the Colony at the bid of their King. This… Your eyes narrowed a small bit as you looked over the giant and sweeping bonfire that was built in the middle of this communal space. This Caesar. 
There was irony in the name itself, and you just had to wonder if he knew that. You had woken up nearly a month ago, fading in and out, but able to keep yourself stable enough to process that… They were being kind in healing you. They knew, you drew your arms closer to your stomach as you tightened the animal pelt around your shoulders and gave Caesar a wide stare as he looked over at you, your actions must have torn him from his conversation with the others around him. They knew you were pregnant. They must have thought they were sparing you, not telling you the detailed nature of the camp when they had found you. The--- You choked a small cry, tears pricking at the back of your eyes. The bodies. Your friends. Your family. Your--- Squeezing your eyelids shut, you couldn’t bear to think about it any longer and forced a swallow down before looking at the fire rather blandly. “Do not know… much,” That voice! You jumped on your spot, clutching the pelt even harder and causing your knuckles to go white. Your eyes scaled from the jumping flames, up the hackles of an Apes legs and rested uncomfortably in a sea of green, ablaze from the depths of the fire itself. You swallowed lightly, watching him move in petulant silence as he sat next to you, bowl in his hand. Caesar. Caesar. Your mind was wailing like an old police car.
“About human… Pregnancy.” No shit, you wanted to retort sarcastically but you held your tongue as he held out the bowl in his hand. Fruit. And… You squinted. Roasted fish? Your stomach churned at the prospect of having something other than a slurry of ground up food, something the Apes that were aiding you to heal often fed you as a means to get the food down as fast as possible. Faster, no chance of morning sickness, right? Wrong. You found yourself kneeling over and getting sick more times than you could count. “Might be similar to Ape, but do not know.” In between his choppy English, you grasped the plate carefully with one hand and brought it into your chest with the smallest ‘thank you’. It wasn’t as if the Female Apes that were healing you were awful, they weren’t cordial though. It felt they only did what they needed to to appease the Ape next to you. Strong, mighty and all encompassing Caesar. “I am…” You had begun eating, chewing mildly so as to not disturb the tone of Caesar’s voice. Waving right around the edges, or it could have been your imagination in the front of the roar of a fire, “Sorry…” Furrowing your eyebrows at that, you picked the fish with your pointer finger, suddenly not at all invested in eating as bile switched in your throat. “Lost my mate,” He continued on, your eyes dead-set and widening as you realized he was… displaying empathy. Your mind fogged for a moment. They were capable of that? “Only recently,” Gesturing to the perch you had found yourself watching him on earlier in the evening, he was making direction towards the broader chest of one of the Females that took care of you here. Squinting, you gasped quietly. They were so small, so ingrained in the fur that it was hard to tell there was a baby there, until their tiny head turned to the side and much to your surprise, you were met with a mild azure rather than the scrutiny of green you were so used to. “Blue Eyes, my Son. Mother lost after… Birth.” Not meaning to seem rude, your tried to keep your mouth from falling open dramatically, but it did partially split. “Complications from childbirth?” Surprised at the gentle nature of your voice, you felt a tear slide down your right cheek and you were quick to brush it away. Like it mattered, once one started, there was a flood soon to come. He only nodded, silent and a bit less intimidating than the times you had seen him, times you had interacted before this. “I---” you choked a bit, looking down at the bowl in your hands that Caesar was gracious enough to bless you with, “Don’t know wh-what happened to my husband… Was…” Narrowing your eyes in slight suspicion, you glanced over at him briefly when your voice tapered into nothingness but you forced yourself to speak the next question with no animosity. You needed to know the answer. “Was it Apes?” He’d know the answer, you bargained. Being a King and all. That’s what it was to be a Leader. You knew the good, and you knew the bad. And even worse than all of that, you knew the carnage. “No.” He was assured in that answer as his gaze met yours once again, this time, instead of finding yourself looking away, you drifted towards it, towards some comfort that someone else… Knew about the absolute torn away nature of your heart and how it was so empty now.
“Humans.” There was a twinge of assurance in his voice as he rose, gesturing to the bowl he had given you. “Keep strength up. Not just for yourself, but for…” His eyes flickered down to your stomach, minute in nature but he may as well have been gawking at you. “Child.”
Baby Blue. ( Drabble 3. )
A few months passed and you found yourself easing into the Colony, despite the disgruntled comments you got from a certain Bonobo who shall not be named. That was your nickname for him, and that’s how it remained as Winter fell off and Spring blossomed, the wildflowers bustled through the ground, through the snow that was still encapsulating its livelihood. All of it was going to be gone by the end of the day, you thought mildly as you looked at the Sun.
Taking a bid from Caesar himself, you were basking in the rays, sitting atop a rather comfortable tree trunk that had been rolled onto its side as a means to be sat on. He had convinced you to leave your hut earlier in the day, telling you that Sun was good for Ape pregnancy, it must be good for Humans. There was no intense argument to be made as you gave him a delicate smile, nodding in agreement and finding yourself drenched deliciously in mild-warmth, your scattered and torn paperback book sitting in your lap. 
Looking down at it… You felt a deep yearning and pressing sensation hit your chest. You were showing. Not much, you were sure that the other Apes had yet to notice any change with you, not that you could blame them. As you got adapted to living with them, you became just another part of Colony life and they paid you no heed. Unless you were late for meals. Then Luca was on you ( something you thought that Caesar was responsible for, but it turns out the Silverback was genuinely concerned for you at times ).
 In your time here, he had become your closest ally, even going as far as to call him a friend. He made gentle comments, telling you how glowing you looked today, something he must have heard through the grapevine that humans said about pregnancy, he told you how wonderful it was that your baby was developing, and that you were beginning to actually show. He had explained that with Apes, they all grew small. Small to the point where it was undetectable. You envied that, placing a soft hand against your bump and sighed deeply. Soon, no Ape here would be able to walk past you without gawking, without it looking like you had stolen a ripe melon and decided to shove it under your shirt. 
There was chittering to your side, your head wiping over to investigate. Not too quickly though, even though time had passed, your neck still felt sore if you went to fast in your movements. Blue Eyes, much like yourself, was growing. The phase of always clinging to a Female, or even better, your guilty pleasure when you wanted to see something abnormally cute, clinging to Caesar’s chest, were coming to a close and he was becoming more curious of the world around him, much like yourself.
Chuckling at the fact that you were drawing comparisons to a baby Chimp, you grunted and picked him up as he so often liked to held by you when you would read pages from your book. He had to learn speech, right? And who better to learn from than from a Human who had impeccable --- Well, you tilted your head and smiled at the baby as he crawled himself up your arm, around your shoulder and then back down the other arm, decent skills in English. 
He paused at the same time that you did, a fluttering capturing your abdomen. Was that… It happened again, this time more fervently, your mouth falling into an ‘O’ shape, and any Ape who saw you at this moment were probably assuming that you were laughing. “Did… did you feel that?” You bent your head down and gawked at Blue Eyes, who gave you a small tilt of the head as he placed his dainty hand right upon the top of your bump. Right where you had felt the sensation. The butterflies - The - The… Your baby. 
“You felt that.” Confirming that, Blue Eyes hooted in your lap as a response. You had no idea what he was saying as tears hit the back of your eyes as your face contorted. You began openly sobbing, not a care in the world if anyone saw you. 
Caesar was perched in his normal spot, having just dismissed the council. Koba lingered as he usually did, giving comments about you, about you being with child and how dangerous of a game it really was. But, the King was in no mood to listen to that and told Koba that he would need time to think about his words and they could discuss at a later time.
Blue Eyes-- He had jumped off Caesar’s shoulder mid-meeting. Probably scavenging somewhere for some berries, most likely pestering you though as that slowly became the small Prince’s favorite pastime. Not that Caesar was one to complain. It came with benefits. You were good with Blue Eyes, you were gentle and kind and it gave Caesar actual time with his own thoughts without having to dally on his child. 
He peered down the rock ledge. Spotting you was easy, your scent often gave away your where-abouts to Caesar. Green eyes hit the back of your head first, admiring the tousel of your hair on this particular day and how it appeared naturally highlighted in the sunshine.
You had been reading, Caesar’s suspicions confirmed. Blue Eyes was with you and was most likely getting a mouth full from whatever you were reading to him. Then the shaking of your shoulders. Caesar’s eyes narrowed upon seeing his Son’s small hand on your stomach. He wasn’t… No, no, Blue Eyes wasn’t hurting you, the gentle touch he had was too soft to inflict damage of any sort. Watching in contemplation of whether he wanted to go down there and see what was happening, he saw your hand come up as you lightly placed it on Blue Eyes’, holding it against the shelf of your stomach that was becoming more pronounced. Caesar stopped himself from moving and just… Surveyed. He could hear your mild words fluttering through the air like dandelion seeds. “I think it’s a boy.” Chittering from Blue Eyes. “A girl? Are you sure?”
Camp. ( Drabble 4. )
Caesar had told you that on their most recent delectation of Hunting, on top of snagging a few Elk for the Colony, they had fallen upon what appeared to be a deserted human settlement. He estimated it had been abandoned for only a year, maybe less. Some of the things were coated finely in dust from the woods, no implications that it had been there since the beginning of the Flu and it was in remarkable condition.
He didn't dig into it though, unsure of what items you were in more need of than others and had chosen to come back home and tell you of it. You were prompt to accept the offer to go with him two days from when he told you, now in the present you were teetering yourself to keep balance on the uneven floor of the woods, opting to walk when you were concerned of riding a horse while pregnant. He told you it wasn’t much farther, having left shortly after dawn and stopping a few times as you severely needed to relieve yourself behind a tree, having to tell the Ape King himself not to watch you as he was pretty concerned you could be attacked while out of his sight. Ideas flurried in your mind as you drew closer, Caesar having just stopped to take in the surroundings.
He banked right, and you were quick to follow. You thought about what pieces of clothing you had. Things were beginning to not fit, you were rounding out and getting plump. Your favorite cargo pants were hanging on by a literal hair-tie that you had been using to keep them shut by the front button, your favorite shirt… Well, the Apes, you joked in your head, must have been tired of seeing the bottom of your stomach always innately displayed. 
Some larger shirts would do the trick, nothing needed to be Maternity in a world where that was considered a privilege and luxury. To put things plainly, as you had told the Ape King, who was kind enough now to give you a helping hand right down a small embankment, his other hand coming to ghost right under your bump to keep your center of gravity, leaving you with a wild tinted blush against your cheek when you scuffled against him, chest to bump for a few seconds, beggars could not be choosers. 
Pulling away from Caesar’s grasp was never an easy thing. You wanted nothing more than to sink into him, sink into the tender moments where he had you alone, and vice versa. The late nights of restlessness you found yourself in at times, thinking of your lost family, your husband, the conversations in front of the dying fire where he had finally laid bare his feelings and emotions about the loss of his wife.
Spotting glances through the day, Caesar laid his hands on you only when he was easing to help you. He had taken note that while Cornelia was small, and Chimpanzees were known to carry small, you were quite a delicious spectacle to his eyes in all the best ways and he considered your attention something he actively sought now, though, he was unsure if he was willing to ease himself into admitting that. 
Rounding a large Red Wood, your eyes were witnessed to the camp. If you felt like running, you would surely do that but the fear of falling flat on your face stopped you as you tore away from Caesar and trekked ahead of him, only giving him a glance over your shoulder as if you were asking if it was okay to go in front of him. He did not nod, but he didn't object as you gave him a smile and quickened your pace, hand on the underside of your growing baby to keep yourself steady enough as you sauntered.
The outside was remarkably sparse, nothing to really indicate that Humans had been there, other than a firepit and a few strewn bags like they packed and left in a hurry. But, once you were able to really get your teeth sunk into the abandoned building, from the set up of an old restaurant of sorts, you were able to get a taste of things you had missed. You felt like crying as you came upon a table with a few pieces of clothing on it. Upon further inspection, they were Men’s, XL. Without hesitation, they were placed into the bag that Caesar had provided for the occasion. Three shirts, one red, one black and one white. Basic, but you were bursting at the seams. All you needed were some pants! Maybe some undergarments if there were any. It felt like you were in a retail store! So exciting---
Feet coming to a slow pause they eventually stopped moving and billow of dust remained underfoot. Your eyes wanted to blink, but you were unable to stop. Caesar must have seen you, having rounded you and obscured your vision from what you were focused on in a darkened corner. He didn't touch you, he wasn’t sure if that was allowed as tears slid down your cheeks.
One at a time before they came down in a torrential rain. You pushed past him as if he weren’t even there and trailed forward, dropping to your knees without reserve as you grasped the small teddy bear into your hands. There was a name embroidered upon it. Fingers touched the thread, pink in color. Cedar. 
Caesar drew near you carefully, the sob you let out was nothing short of shocking and he felt the hackles of his fur standing on edge as if someone were there intentionally hurting you. 
“A… baby…” You whimpered to him, holding up the bear for him to take. He saw nothing special about it as he grasped it with one hand and you shuffled on your hands and knees, baring the pain it was causing you against the tile flooring and came upon a few tangled up pieces of clothing. Small. So… So very small… “Th-They had a baby…” Crying out again, you grasped the clothing and held it in your hands before falling back onto your butt, “Do-do you think they-they’re still alive?” Caesar had no words, his eyes widened at the turmoil you were suddenly thrusted in. No explanation, perhaps those… Pregnancy hormones you had joked about from time to time, Caesar thought and narrowed his eyes on you. He didn't… know how to comfort you. You were crumbling down right in front of him.
He knew you were going to need help getting off the ground though, and he was careful to crouch next to you. Plucking the baby clothing out of your hand, he placed them lightly onto the floor, your eyes squeezing shut and without a word, you collapsed right against. Caesar was fast to react, grunting a small bit as he moved himself, and then you enough to get your body to sit in his actual arms rather than against him.
“B-B-B-...” You stuttered, the Ape hoisting you upwards to get you out of the dusty nature of the floor, you clung onto him tightly. “Do-Do you think they…” Caesar surged a bit at your implied questions, grasping you that much tighter. The side of your bump conformed against his broad chest. “I--- I am sure they got out. That they are fine.” He did not feel comfortable bluntly lying about something that he had no basis for, but as the tears fell from your eyes, as you grasped his forearm tightly, your fingers digging to the point where you were touching his skin and no longer his fur, Caesar didn't care. He’d lie his tongue off just to get you to a sense of comfort. 
Bumping Foreheads. ( Drabble 5. )
The water surging against your back felt incredible. Pressing your hands to the small of your back, right above your tailbone you grunted gently and eased back into the chill of the small waterfall you had been blessed to enjoy in the spotting Summer evenings. It was still early in the season, but it was beckoning you more and more to enjoy. You knew that Caesar was in the area - probably only meters away, and paying his eyes attention elsewhere as to not see you naked, but his hearing and his scent were always on the prowl. Three times a week he’d bring you to the secluded waterfall, letting you bathe and release the tension he knew that your body was going through. 
You were large - to the point where you had accidentally bumped into a bowl of blueberries this morning and it went tumbling down the rock face. Before you managed to cry though, Blue Eyes began eating them right off the ground and Caesar even blessed you with a mild joke of ‘they… are not completely… ruined’. That did make you feel better as you sniffled and nodded in agreement. All things were cleared away when you took in the water, letting the chill seep into your pores as you tilted your head backwards to let it drain against your face. Feeling the kick on the side of your stomach, you winced at the severity of it against your ribs as your baby had turned to start playing against the bones there to let you know they were content with the water too. Maybe a bit cold for their tastes, but they were snuggly inside of your stomach, wrapped in eternal warmth until you were ready. Until they were ready, you thought, laughing and pressing your fingers against the side of your abdomen. They reacted right away to your touch, something like a hand or foot pushing back and you took in the sight of your stomach stretching with their movements. 
You had no care in the world anymore. Hell, you thought to yourself in your bliss of the moment, you’d let Caesar see you bare in all your glory. It was the most comfortable. Clothes were restricting, especially in the heat that started to stick around in the early afternoons into the evenings. You thought about that again… You’d… Let Caesar see you either way. The vague notion left you more than amused. He must have thought it pretty grotesque what your body was doing to itself in a bid to grow another Human. 
The stretching of your skin, the wild-card emotions that you became comfortable letting loose around him, your breasts were unfortunately too big for any of your undergarments and you were unable to find one that was accommodating and you ended up going the last few weeks without one. You could have sworn you’d seen him staring at them, but that could have just been in your mind as ravishing ideas ran through you and rested rather uncomfortably between your legs when Caesar stared at you a bit too long. How you tried to push aside the feeling.
The pestering in the back of your head. Maybe, just the hormones, you tried to convince yourself over and over. You were pregnant, you were alone… It made sense, right? To… Want to be… satisfied? Your thoughts came to a slow stop as you looked down at yourself. Unable to see your feet, you still wiggled your toes like you were able to and sighed deeply. He probably found you unattractive beyond belief. 
“Are you… done?” Caesar asked, not shouting but loud enough for you to hear over the waterfall itself. He was close, as you had suspected, his deep baritone coming from the right of you. “Nearly sundown.”
“Yes. Can you toss my blanket on the shore for me to grab?” You asked, waddling yourself out of the water's way and into the open space of the small river that the water trickled into, grasping your hair and wringing it out. That was the rule. He’d throw your blanket on the ground, you’d wrap yourself up in it so he couldn’t see you naked, and you’d dry yourself, re-cloth your body and head back to the Colony, less than a click to the west. 
With your arms still in your hair and your eyes shut as you enjoyed the last feelings of water against you, you could hear Caesar moving. Figuring that the blanket had been placed previously, you thought nothing of it and thought that he was just moving out of the way again as to not see you bare. Releasing your hair with a small groan, you opened your eyes and looked at the shore. Green.
Green eyes.
Green eyes staring at you.
Green eyes staring at you while you were naked.
Caesar didn't move. It appeared he was completely frozen, blanket still in his hands and you were flashing him without reserve. If you were able to move quickly, you were sure you would but you found it difficult to do as you wadded through the water with a fast paced waddle. At least, it was fast for you, it probably looked pretty comical to the Ape. Caesar was still frozen, his eyes had drifted downwards towards your chest to linger for a moment before they finally rested right on your bump. Protruding… And not appealing, you groaned internally and clutched the blanket right out of his hand and untangled it. 
“Caesar.”
Nothing, he was still looking at your bump as you wrapped the blanket around your shoulders. “Caes--” Your hands were grasped. Actually, it was more or less your wrists and with one swoop, the blanket was pooling at your feet and you brought your knees together for a moment when he caught eyes with you before they trailed right back down your body. Supple breasts, he noted, nice, nice bump, he had only really seen a pregnant human this close to him through the screen of a TV back when he was with Will.
The rounding, dipping between your legs--- Caesar stopped himself at that and trailed his gaze back upwards to rest right on the top of your bump, looking down at it.  Being self-conscious finally hit you as you tried to hide yourself away from the judgment he was placing down on you, but Caesar just… Admired. You supposed that was the right word, you had no premonition as to what he was thinking or what he was do---
Without even asking, his hand was placed on you. Not just on you, but on the bump that encased your baby. Right on the underside of it, he drew his hand in as far in as it would go. Shuddering at the chilly nature of his already leathery skin, your eyes widened, mouth ajar as your breathing had picked up.
With your mind racing, you were frantic to look into his eyes to get any idea of what he was thinking, even if it meant you needed to tear his head open just to get a glimpse. Your bottom lip quivered at the feeling, a direct response your body was giving to the fact that you were being touched. No, no… Your knees went weak for a second, but Caesar grasped you with his free hand under your elbow to keep you steady, refusing to relent control on your stomach. You were being caressed. 
“I-I’m probably fatter than the Apes get.” You tried to get him to look at you, you tried to get him to say something other than standing defenseless. “I---” Gasping quietly, Caesar moved his hand from the undercarriage to the top where he brushed the pads of his fingers in the most feather-like way he was able to muster. It tickled, but you bit your tongue in a bid to see what he was doing. You knew, oh how you knew now, he wasn’t going to hurt you. 
“Have never seen…” He started.
“Yeah, well, we get fat.” You joked again, jolting your shoulders forward for you to cup your arms on top of your bump and shield yourself from his eyes. Before you even had a chance to do that though, Caesar's free hand that had previously been cupping your elbow moved. You had no time to react as he cupped the back of your head and brought it towards his own. Breathless, not due to the baby for once, you swallowed hard, shutting your eyes and let it happen. Caesar’s forehead lightly kissed your own.
Lightly at first, but as he tangled his thick fingers into your hair, he pulled your neck towards his own with a bit more fever, his own eyes squeezing shut at the silent admittance. The hand that was tracing your bump remained, but now was placed on the side. His entire hand spread, finger to finger, across the entire scape of your skin and you sunk into it with a small moan of satisfaction. This… you thought, letting your eyes flutter open for just one moment so you could see him this close to you. This was where you belonged.
Birth. ( Drabble 6. )
The intensity of your screams were not for the faint of heart, and you figured that was the case and shared sentiment of the Female Ape midwives that flanked your entire body, one working diligently between your legs to gauge your dilation. Caesar had known it to be hard for Humans, their babies were much larger than Ape babies and required a lot more pushing and vigor to actually induce birth. Hours, he thought to himself, his eyes tired and red around the edges, his hand, as tough as it had been for years, was nothing more than a swelled appendage from your hand grasping at it so tightly, fingernails digging into the calloused skin when another contraction set in your vision and racked your entire body of all senses. 
You were beyond sweating, you felt like you were swimming as Caesar brought his free hand up to wipe some of your wet hair away from your face. His skin felt cold against you, and for that, you leaned your head into the small wave of affection from him before another shot of pain dripped through you relentlessly. 
“I can’t do this!” You cried, your knees shaking as the midwife looked at Caesar who only nodded with a hard swallow. They were telling him in silence that you were ready. 
“You can.” He assured, but that felt fruitless as you hunched forward, bump contouring all sorts of ways in a very unnatural way that made even Caesar uncomfortable but he was steady fast and refused to leave your side. He knew this, he had been through this with Cornelia… He tried to not linger on that for too long. 
Things would be different, he tried to keep optimism alive as the midwife told you verbally that it was time to push. The extrusion on your face caused the Ape King to shut his eyes for a moment as you grunted out, attempting to push the baby from your body to greet the world. Yes… He laxed himself and reached around your entire head to hold onto you as you screamed to the highest heavens, things were going to be different. You… You could do this. You were going to preserver and you would have a new addition to the family that Caesar had already provided for you. He knew he couldn’t cry, not in front of the others, but how he just wanted to take all your pain away. It was hard not to go feral, the simple smell of your blood and sweat were eradicating his entire nose. He didn't dare look down and kept his green gaze focused on the side of your face as he was propped next to you, laying in the nest. “Ohhhh my god!” You jolted with another push, breathing rapidly and it felt like your entire chest was suddenly on fire after being cold for so long. Plunged into an ice bath and then sent to the depths of a volcano. “Caesar!” One more. The midwife signed at Caesar one handed, the other properly braced between your legs. 
“You need to give one more,” Caesar said and brought his hand through your hair once more. Swallowing, you felt a shudder run down your spine at the prospect of having to give it more despite giving it your all already. You were being torn in half, someone grasping both legs and pulling with all their might and they wanted you to give more. Strangling a cry out, Caesar brought his forehead down and planted it directly onto yours. “One more…”
As if a robot shocked back to life, Caesar still holding onto your head and moving forward as you braced yourself, you gave it one more as commanded. The sheer terror of your scream faded into the wails of a baby… A… baby… Your mind fogged. Concern swept over the Ape as he grasped the side of your face. “A girl,” He told you, breathing against your cheek and right into your ear, “A girl.” 
Repeating that seemed to bring you right back from the trenches as tears flooded down your face, mixing deliciously with the sweat that had fallen from your forehead. Even now, you felt you were unable to breathe as you tried to smile - It was a forced grin of sorts, Caesar could tell that you were still in pain, but the crying of the baby… Caesar finally allowed himself to look down as the midwife was fast to adjust them properly in their arms before drifting upwards carefully to place them against your bare chest.
They were smeared with blood but… His eyes admired their small features. Carbon copies almost of your own when you were scrunched up for sleep. You have done it. You… Grew this… You made this Human and you preserved through the endeavors of birth. You began crying alongside your baby, hands reaching up and grasping at them lightly to keep them close to your chest. 
“Girl.” You finally managed to say something, your throat dry and incredibly hoarse. “Girl?” Asking that to your mate, he nodded and brought a hand up to rest against the child's small head.
“Girl.” Caesar confirmed.
Bonus ending:
Blue Eyes… Was incredibly cautious upon hearing the wailing of a human baby to the point where he grasped at Caesar’s chest with his small frame with all his might, his gaze intent on staring down whatever was causing the noise. With a small hush, you got them to quiet down against you, now lightly wrapped in a blanket you had for this very moment. 
‘New sister.’ Caesar signed for the Prince, looking at the now newly adorned princess with a soft gaze. ‘Say hello.’ He was still hesitant, but at the urging of Caesar himself as he placed Blue Eyes on the nest by your feet, you both watched in anticipation as the small Chimp moved his way up your body, making eye contact with you in a flurry of affection and happiness that you were still here. It had been an entire day where you and Caesar were gone and he was left to hang with the other Young Apes with Maurice, and he hadn’t the slightest clue where you were until now. Until… He crawled onto your shoulder as he so often did, your eyes shutting for a moment as he played along your hair before his gaze fell to the bundle in your arms. 
It was your turn to speak, “Blue,” He looked at you, suddenly frantic at the sound of your voice like he had forgotten, “This is your baby sister… Cedar.”
Bonus Ending ( 2 ):
Three Months Later.
Caesar, in his wildest dreams, never imagined he’d be holding a human baby, let alone the one of his mate. His tender gaze rested on you as you were laying in the nest, wrapped tightly in for a nap with Blue Eyes resting beside you, as he had offered to care for the baby that afternoon when you complained of being adversely tired. He did worry upon his offering that it would be difficult to care for them alone, but he didn't realize just how much they actually slept and Cedar seemed really intent on doing that in the warmth of her Father’s arm. 
He drew his gaze down to look at her. 
So small, and so gentle… Every day, Caesar thought to himself, she looked more like you. So beautiful.
Was she… Caesar’s brows furrowed for a moment at the curling of the baby’s mouth. She was… Smiling. Right up at him. Familiar, her head tilted towards Caesar’s chest minutely but the movement was there for him as he swallowed hard at the sight. 
She smiled at him.
Bonus Ending ( 3 ):
Five Years Later.
“Cedar, you need to get down from that tree right now!” You yelled, looking at the Chimp sitting next to the human, high up off the ground. Well, not that high up. Maybe two or three meters at the most but the idea of a fall was not for the faint of heart as the two young laughed. 
‘We climb higher,’ Blue Eyes signed to his sister. ‘That way mom cannot find us.’
There wasn’t any contemplation. Cedar nodded in agreement, grabbing the bark and began her ascent. 
“CAESAR!!! OUR SON BROUGHT OUR DAUGHTER INTO A TREE AND I CAN’T GET THEM DOWN! I SWEAR THEY GET THIS UNRULY BEHAVIOR FROM YOUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY!”
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neteyamsilly · 2 years ago
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i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best | 2
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summary ;; Your burning determination to prove your father wrong and Jake's wish to teach you a lesson both end up in a pyrrhic victory. PART 1 | PART 3 pairings ;; dad!jake sully x reader, mom!neytiri x reader, sully family x reader genre ;; pure angst and family feels notes / explanations ;; im speechlessly overwhelmed at the sheer amount of love you guys showed me these past couple of days. like. literally never had something like this happen to me before. i got too excited to finish this chapter to give back to yall, there was an attempt to proofread but... i hope it's not too bad, please enjoy! as always, if you see any mistakes, im sorry!
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The path further into the floating mountains was all the worse to navigate thanks to the lack of light, the only useful guides you had were the faintly flickering bioluminescent lights from the forest deep below. The branches twisting around each other to create a naturally built bridge from mountain to mountain benefited from this, contrasting as a clear obscured line to your eyes against the glow underneath. 
The easiest part of your journey, in hindsight, was just skipping along this line. 
You weren’t exactly happy about this.  
The more you left behind, the more you were freaked out that Neteyam or anyone else was onto your intentions already and hot on your trail right this moment. Imagining father making a beeline to you in the air with Bob, a cruel, merciless whistling arrow, made you all jittery and almost puking kind of nervous, pulling at the depths of your stomach. 
Your rationality told you that it was a half an hour walk to your spot from the tent, and Neteyam would be hurrying the more he thought he wasn’t able to catch up with you along the way, so you had around twenty minutes until the whole family was panicking and raising the clan to look for you. 
Tuk had gone missing once thanks to some hide and seek game with Lo’ak (she’d hidden so well and was waiting for her siblings to find her already, blindly sticking to the game for an entire day, not out of stubbornness but childish purity), and this was exactly what had gone down —
the resentful part of you questioned if father thinks of you highly enough to resort to that. 
If something happened to you, he would maybe urge your brothers to search for you for a while, and drop it then — leaving you to your own devices happily. 
Maybe. 
Were you even worth it in his eyes for a search party? You wondered if he cared enough that you disappeared. 
But that was a stupid, childish thought you knew you fantasized about a lot — perhaps this was why he’d called you immature. This was no mindset for a strong, independent, confident hunter. The thought father was right, even a miniscule bit was bitter on your tongue, worse than what he called black coffee. 
Disappearing so you’d find out just how much he cared was unfair to mom, for one. 
She had lost so much in such a short amount of time, the stories she sang poignantly about were hard to listen to without tearing up. Her home. The trees of voices, all the lost ancestors. Her father. Uncle Tsu’tey. Her first ikran, Seze. Loss upon loss you think there’d be nothing left to give anymore, but sky people’s fire was always hungry, always willing to waste more to grow bigger. 
You wouldn’t forgive yourself for making her cry in your pursuit to punish father. Never. 
You weren’t a child.
Just wanted to be one, sometimes.
Wanted father to babytalk you, pet your head longer than a passing touch as he walked away hurriedly to attend to other matters, make beads for your braids the way he always did from pretty stones he found on ponds, carve you little trinkets when you graciously had to give up your toys to Lo’ak and Kiri’s greed. 
Your neck piece was all them in fact, he’d see it if he ever paid enough attention, or perhaps it was all insignificant to him, five kids meant countless belongings for each individual child had been passed down from his hands, it would be a miracle for father to recognize you still wore his clumsy creations. But again, it had been too long since he’d even looked at you affectionately, he wouldn’t See. 
He’d transferred those habits entirely to Neteyam at one point in time. 
Your older brother would always ruffle Lo’ak’s hair and tease him the way father used to, comfort him in his own playful way, and even though the younger looked discontent at being babied, you knew he was happy Neteyam was quite literally his shadow to look after him through tough times — including shielding from father’s line of fire. In return, he was suffering from being a foil to the older son, you understood the struggle because you were going through the same comparison, you just weren’t obsessed with catching and living up to father as much as Lo’ak did. 
Win some, lose some, I guess.
Plus, Neteyam was trembling under the massive planet-weight pressure, he had to set the standard, he had to live up to the older brother title. He was becoming more of a father figure to Tuk as days passed and the Olo’eyktan became more transparent from his family’s life as a dad to five. 
Besides, Lo’ak made trouble enough for two people to go around that you felt bad for your big brother, Kiri was thankfully more mellow (despite frequently hanging out together with him and Spider) compared to him that Neteyam could breathe, not having to divide his attention. 
You were in awe of her about how disconnected she was from all the changing dynamics. She had her own problems you could never understand, more spiritual than your grandmother, and ever the ethereal soul who you thought would disappear into Eywa if flesh wasn’t holding her down to Eywa’eveng.
You were the teeniest, tiniest bit jealous of her (and Tuk) holding the softer sides of father, the boys thought he was deliberately softer because they were girls — but you were also a girl, so why weren’t you allowed in?   
Well, thanks to that, you’d gotten closer with Neteyam and known him better after the whole clan had settled on High Camp, so it wasn’t all that bad. You could badmouth father all day long sitting on some rock and make him laugh abashedly, guilty that he was smiling along with the trashing of the father’s name he respected so much — it was therapy, as Norm had taught humans frequently sought back on earth. It got you trying some things with Neteyam, becoming more of a companion and ranting buddy for him who he could be honest and open with, so that he didn’t have to worry about taking up a larger role in your life to fill father’s missing presence. You were concerned about him more than he could be concerned about you. 
That got you contemplating if father had noticed how comfortable his two oldest children were with each other that it was always Neteyam who he sent after you. A girl could dream, no? For one moment, it wasn’t because it was Neteyam’s responsibility, but because father was paying attention to how his kids got along.
The image of him pushed you to be frantically fast to reach your destination as the fear returned with might. If he caught you right now when you had no ikran to prove him wrong, the punishment he was sure to give would be way more humiliating, you at least wanted something in your name to taunt him with if you were going down anyways. 
A smile crept up your face at imagining him discombobulated and speechless, unable to pick out one thing that you did wrong. 
The carelessness that came with your speed combined with how dark it was to see where to clutch and put your feet on caused you to slip up countless times when climbing, the sharp rocks scraping the insides of your palms and insides of your forearms, lifting your skin up. What you cared about more than the pain was that the blood was now tracking material for your family to sniff you out — you couldn’t exactly wipe the rocks clean, so you carried on with a hammering heart, more afraid of father ruining your perfect moment than whatever ikran that would soon be going straight for your throat. 
At least you were able to wash the blood off your hands in the waterfall. 
Downside? You couldn’t see shit. With your bare back flushed straight to the wall of rock and your feet feeling out the thin edge, the shrill cry of ikrans and the roaring of water was about to overwhelm your senses too much to pay attention — 
and you slipped. 
The shriek that ripped out of you at the sensation of falling and the drop of your stomach alone almost made you pass out, and for a split second it was a good thing that you wouldn’t feel the moment you died, but your body, once again, was one step ahead of you, it twisted in the air the last second and your hands gripped the ledge. 
The wet rock and your blood made all that your life was hanging on slippery as you dangled into the abyss, swaying with the strong winds at this height. 
You didn’t know if it was the adrenaline or the nervousness, but something made you laugh out loud, and the bubbling laughter continued until you were able to pull yourself up safely at the ikran rookery, finally. 
Looking around like a fish out of water, how you hadn’t cracked your skull open shooting down to the forest below was a total miracle. 
You’d made it?  
No one was there to witness what you just pulled off in total darkness. Your whole body was shaking, and you weren’t even chosen by an ikran yet. This was happening. Shit. This was totally happening! 
Your excited and terrified, “Hell yeah!” went unheard apart from your aerial crowd. 
But. 
One among them answered your holler with its own that cut into the night like a battle horn. It was the closest one to you that was apparently watching you the whole time, starting to roar at you and twitching on its feet, shadow in the night informing you of its movements.
You’d seen from Neteyam and Lo’ak’s iknimayas that you only had a few seconds to pull your shit together until it attacked, this was meant to be dangerous, serious, you could end up as a late night snack to them if things went wrong, but you couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear that it had chosen you.
You were chosen. 
It wanted you as its rider. 
If only father could see you now. The sensation of being the one — being special was unmatched. Now you could somehow get the fraction of the high he must have felt as Toruk Makto.  
The, “Let’s fucking go!” that left you kept echoing into the night as you lunged at it, dodging to the left when it snapped at your head, hooking one arm around the ikran’s slender neck and clamping your legs around it the moment it started thrashing around wildly. 
You didn’t know why father had made a big deal out of it. You formed tsaheylu in no time, breaking Neteyam’s record — and you didn’t even have the rope to hoop around its neck and jaw. 
Firstborn daughter excellence. 
Confidence restored and triumphing wildly to the pulse of your heart, the flickering smile on your face in wonder turned into a full-fledged smirk. At that moment, nothing mattered. It was just you and your victory. Proving father wrong. 
Feeling the ikran’s lifeforce through the bond, a shiver went down your back as his beady eye looked up at you, pupil shrinking and expanding rapidly while you both took a minute to catch your breaths after the fierce wrestling. 
“Gotcha,” you panted. “You’re mine now.”
The adrenaline made everything sparkle and shine, your spirits soaring high and unbothered about literally anything else in the world, and for one glorious moment, lost in the memories of your brothers’ iknimayas boasting with cheers from the clan and sometimes encouraging, sometimes fearful screams of your parents, your spirit sought them out to be soaked in the same pride — forgetting that it was night and nobody was there to celebrate you. 
You were all alone. 
The smile dropped from your face and crashed down like paper thin porcelain upon the slightest movement. 
Right. 
You’d forgotten you were doing this out of spite. It snuffed every twinkle of magic away from the previously shimmering milestone of your life. 
Your ikran felt the crushing disappointment through your connection and chirped at you, almost like an excited sibling pulling on your arm to show you something, weirdly comforting. Mom’s ikran was a spitfire, but also nurturing — this one felt different somehow, you felt him bouncing from wall to wall in your head, hyperactive and cheerful.
Flying! He wanted to fly! 
The first flight sealed the bond, after all. 
You weren’t alone even if none of your family members were here to share the joy — you had your new buddy. And the drop of gravity was thrilling this time, not the terrifying chaos that had your asshole shriveling up as it was when you’d missed your step. 
The flights with mom were something you looked forward to, drying up in frequency as you aged, you’d missed the wind on your body and the greenery dancing below as you maneuvered in the air — but mom reserved nighttime rides for father only, and after the move to High Camp, the skimpering chance you could get your way if you begged cutely enough was gone too. You’d never flown at night. 
The sight was out of this world. The stars leaving a glowing trail above you, the forest pulsing with faint purple, green and blue lights underneath, everything was elevated in beauty because darkness let them shine. 
You made loops in the air with your ikran, got as high in the air as you could before your breath thinned, and scraped at the tips of trees before shooting up again, all the while laughter you’ve never screamed before bubbled out of you. 
And you were all alone. There was no mom to gleefully taunt your ikran with hers to get both of you dancing in the air. There was no father to watch on with a small smile he was fighting. There was no Neteyam to stop you from dipping too close to the ground, and no Lo’ak to challenge you to get closer to race with him — no Kiri to complain how all of you were being so childish, how stupid this was all the while she was the worst of you all, instigating all the chaos. 
No Tuk in your mom’s lap whining about you guys leaving her off the fun. 
Instead, there was the scent of a bogey in the air, snapping you out of the haze of sorrow.
When had you ventured out further into unprotected territory? 
Linked with your thought process, the ikran stopped advancing forward and started beating his wings downward to stay unmoving, you observed the surroundings to get a better feeling of where you were, and noticed this was around the old shack, artificial lights were gliding between the leaves and branches that obscured your view of just who was roaming the grounds at night, definitely not a natural part of the forest’s flora.    
Father’s voice materialized in your head, drilled into you and your siblings’ heads over and over again. If you come across any threat at all, do not engage, fall back and inform me. Got it? You call for me first.
And that split second of being afraid was your death sentence — that father would be so angry at you for your ignorance, amateurism, carelessness and idiocy that he could throw you out of the family for almost leading the demons to base simply by being there that they could figure out what direction you’d come from. That moment of weakness was enough for someone to snipe you out, and get you falling down from your ikran straight into the forest below, the cries of your new friend falling silent on your ears as you did your best to hug giant leaves to cushion your fall to the best of your ability. . 
 Barely any time was left for you to shake the disorienting motion sickness off, you couldn’t even attempt to run into the accepting, protective hands of the forest before whoever just shot at you was onto you, harshly gripping your arms and raising you up. 
Father’s gonna be so mad if he finds out. Shit, I gotta get out of this. 
But… Avatars? In full camo, armored, even. You hadn’t heard of this from anybody in camp!
“Damn! Didn’t actually think you’d be able to land the shot from all of that tree, man! Up-top!”
Two of them high-fived, you were actually going to be sick. 
Thumb between his belt and stomach, another Avatar strutted towards you. The saunter and confidence meant that he was their leader. “Now, now… What do we have here?”
“A native.” You were being pushed down on your knees, one hand being grabbed and shown like a trophy. Just how many were there? You couldn't calm yourself enough to focus! “Four fingers.”
The speaker this time was a woman. “How unusual. Those monkeys don’t leave their coven at night.” 
“Where were you flying, little bird?” The leader, a sleazy smirk on his face, leaned down to take a good look at you. “Leading away from the nest, perhaps?”
“She don’t understand, Colonel, don’t bother. Ya think Sully could ever manage teaching one word of English to those?”
“Watch how she learns in three seconds.” He yanked on your queue so hard you saw white light in this hour of darkness — and when your vision came back, a screen with your father’s face was being shoved to your face. “Jake Sully. Toruc Mactoe. Where is he?”
You screamed when he pulled with increasing strength, keeping up with the act you didn’t understand. And the state of pain and terror massively helped, contributing to you looking frantic and lost, only knowing that you were being zapped to your core. 
“Seems like I don’t need to ask you.” His fingers snapped your head back to get a good look at your earpiece, late to notice you had it on at all because of the dark. “Can directly ask the man himself.” 
All you could form to think was, ‘Father’s gonna kill me for this. He’s actually gonna kill me this time.’
You weren't terrified of what the Avatars would do to you. You were afraid of him.
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One empty shell from the reloaded machine gun flew away, tinkling hollow when it fell down, and rolled until it stopped in a small pool of water that had formed on the jagged ground of the cave systems. In the scarlet and orange glow of the campfire he’d haphazardly put together right outside of their home out of impatience after Neytiri had basically thrown him out, Jake almost mistook the liquid for blood. 
An ominous cloud of dread settled on his shoulders, a paranoia every father tended to go through.
“Big Brother, this is Devil Dog. State your status, over.”
Neteyam didn’t miss a beat to answer, thankfully. “Devil Dog, this is Big Brother. I’m still en route to Foxcove, over.”
“How much longer?”
“Ten minutes at best, sir. Over.”
What he wanted to say was how come he hadn’t met you halfway, but it was empty talk. No need to stress the boy out. “Devil Dog signing out.”
This girl was half the reason for the wrinkles on his forehead, Jesus Christ. He was basically waiting you out like a father sitting in the dark to ambush his daughter who had snuck out at night, for that single glorious moment of yeah that’s right, you got caught, after the light would come on to ruin that moment of relief of successfully making it back in. 
His mate had scolded him to be nice and understanding, a Marine was anything but, the closest he could compromise was not being as mean to you than he had to be. Sassing, “So how was your Iknimaya?” like he planned was out the window — Neytiri was spot-on to say the girl would simply give the same mean energy right back at him, and that could only mean another erupting volcano of a fight and a good night’s sleep ruined for him, overthinking where he went wrong and how else he could have salvaged the situation. 
He’d just make you tend to the ikrans for a week for some patience practice, cleaning shit for hours on a daily basis would certainly throw the temporary whim of the rite of passage hyperfixation out of your system. The possibility of you shouting you hated him was unavoidable, but Jake had to get his point across, no matter how terribly it nauseated him to hear something like that from his child. 
It was strange to remember he couldn’t care less for what people thought of him in the past. Some shithead he wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about hated Jake’s guts? Good. He was living in their head rent free, it was fun even — Neytiri too, Jake absolutely enjoyed her hating game at first. 
Being legitimately resented by his very own child, though, was a heartbreak he didn’t expect to hurt him the way it did, knocking air off his lungs the first time he heard it. A burning stab right in his heart that wouldn’t go away until he had to hear it for himself you hadn’t meant any of what you said.
Because that said hate actually stemmed from hurt Jake must have inflicted. Because you could actually despise him, and never allow him to reconnect with you again if he could ever manage to garner the courage to reach out to you — a mightier challenge than hunting Toruk in the sense it actually scared him.   
His teenage daughter. Scared him. 
Jake didn’t know what to do about it, he couldn’t even show what exactly this made him feel, too ashamed and proud for it in the first place. 
The growing distance between you and him was an uneasy, frightened bird he tried to shush and calm in his heart in favor of other pressing matters that drilled small holes in the depths of his stomach, and over time, those little holes had fused together to create one big pit with greater gravitational pull than the sun — until Jake didn’t know how to stitch them back together anymore. 
He told himself he would talk to you later, for sure. The morning after every argument, every fight, every jab from you he snapped at he would try to make amends for, definitely. 
And then he didn’t. 
“What is this, are you palulukan ambushing prey? I told you to make up with her, not prepare for hunting.”
Jake shook his head, dropping the machine gun back inside the crate. The warmed metal was some sort of consolation to his nerves. Marine habit. Always felt safer with a gun near. (Or was it the American in him?) “Neytiri,” he acknowledged, bobbing his head. “I’m just passing time.”
“What do you think will happen when she comes back and sees you waiting for her like this?”
Ah, like the old times when Jake couldn’t do one thing right in her eyes. “Yes, ma’am,” he said playfully, but with no mirth behind it, closing the crate with a muffled thunk. With nothing to do with them, one elbow went to his knee and the other hand’s fingers started a rhythm on the lid he’d just shut. 
His mate’s hand gingerly came down on his shoulder, kneading the nerves. “Just talk to her, Ma’Jake.”
“I don’t know how to,” he admitted, he covered her fingers on her shoulder with his, and she immediately held his hand back. “Don’t know what to even tell her.” He gave an exhale from the deeper, tired parts of his soul, gazing at the path leading away from their tent. “With Neteyam and Lo’ak, it’s easy. I tell ‘em what to do and they—”
Neytiri took a seat next to him, gathering their hands together. “Suffer just the same.” Jake was about to brush her off, but she didn’t relent. “What you’re doing is hurting them.”
This now was about all of their children rather than you, specifically. Neytiri was trying to get him to see the bigger picture first before moving to cover what he did wrong with each child of his, they had had this conversation countless times before. 
Here we go again, Jake thought.
“Doesn’t matter if that’s what it takes to keep them safe.”
“Does it?” Neytiri leaned in, and calmness washed over him despite the disturbing nature of what she was saying. “Does it keep them safe? Or push them to act out more, get in worse situations?”
He grimaced. “I have to—”
“You feel like you have to.” His mate shook their clasped hands, rattling his bones. “I keep my children safe with trust and honesty. Transparence, Ma’Jake. So that they listen to me when I mean it because they See me. You shut them out.” Her lips bared to show her pearly teeth as she was practically beseeching him. “You don’t get your children’s trust by treating them like a squad.”
“They trust me plenty.”
“They trust Olo’eyktan. Toruk Makto. What about their father?”
“I make sure they’re safe.” Neytiri dropped his hands with an agitated snarl, she thought they were back at the beginning again, he couldn’t make her truly understand no matter what he did. He poured his heart out through their tsaheylu everytime, but her values and beliefs were wired so differently from his at the end of the day. “I make sure they stay where I want them to stay for their own good.” Jake shook his head, his voice soft, hushed. No force behind it when Neytiri was heated in return. “One day they’ll understand.”
“They won’t if you never tell them.”
“Tell them what?” Jake asked. “That I’m being harsh on them to prepare them for war? You think they’ll take it seriously after this?”
“Na’vi were in war long before you. There will be wars after you. No parent sullied his child’s happiness for the price of becoming a warrior. You still don’t get our ways even after all these years.” 
“The sky people’s way,” Jake emphasized with his arms. “I have to teach them how they think, what they go through, so they know what they’ll be facing, okay? I can’t simply teach them by telling them.”
“You’re deluding yourself, Jake. Contradicting.” Neytiri was gentle in her cruelty, the flickering flames burned less than her amber eyes. “Tuk and Kiri are getting none of this. I know your heart isn’t allowing you. Why can’t you do the same for your other children?”
Because he had gone too far already with the older three. 
Trial and error. 
He couldn’t take back the things he did and say back — and quite honestly? Jake was being pulled from all sides to sit down and rethink his parenting. All he thought anymore was how to protect his family, frequent nightmares of losing his children in gruesome ways were haunting his every step. 
A father protects his children, that’s what gives him meaning. 
Jake had his own desperate ways to do so.  
He opened his mouth to say something back, anything, but was interrupted by the communication line coming on. “Dad.” 
Jake immediately knew something was wrong, body sitting ramrod straight. If the frantic breathing and barely controlled voice wasn’t any indication of it, his eldest’s behavior was. Neteyam didn’t slip up in the codenames like Lo’ak did, dropped all formalities only when he was borderline panicking.  
“Dad. I’m sorry, dad, sir, I can’t find her, dad, I’ve looked everywhere around here, I thought maybe she was hiding underwater, behind rocks—but I can’t, I can’t—.”
“Slow down.” Jake could barely contain his own panic rising from the state his son was in. The boy wasn’t able to see it, but he couldn’t stop himself from leaning in as if Neteyam was right in front of him, and started gesturing with his hand. “Slow down, son.”
“Dad—”
Jake tsk-ed. “Neteyam, slow. Slow.”
Neytiri took his elbow. “What is it?”
He told her to wait with his gaze, and turned his attention back to Neteyam. This could only mean one thing, he was praying to be wrong — needed clarification. “Now tell me calmer. What’s going on?”
“She’s never been here. She never came here in the first place. There’s no sign of her. No trace. I’ve tracked.”
Jake’s instant response was fear. Domineering, ice-cold, cutting fear. Bodily and emotionally both. You were clockwork, similar to him in having unchanging routines and patterns. Angry? Went for a walk. Depressed? No talking to anyone until it passed. Happy? Wanted to go to the forest to spend time with your siblings and always craved sweet fruit. Didn’t want to be around anyone? Hid in the little bioluminescent cove with a pond two little mountains away, always. Always.  
Neytiri sensed this, observing the change of demeanor in him.“Ma’Jake?”
“Okay, son.” He seized back control. One missing child was enough. “Stay right there and don’t move. I’ll contact you.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Jake,” Neytiri hissed finally, at the end of her ropes.
“She didn’t go to the cove,” he said, face icy neutral as always, but his eyes showed dizzying concern. Neytiri put a hand on her mouth as Jake wasted no time in changing channels. “Night Owl, this is Devil Dog. Come in.” He couldn’t even wait two seconds before trying again. “Night Owl, what is your status? Where are you?” 
Silence.
The more fear dug deeper into his skin, the more his anger and annoyance soared up, his tail was whipping the air erratically, the finger on the earpiece could send the metal right into his brain with how hard he was pressing on it. “I know you can hear me. This is no time for playing games. You know what you did to your brother? Do you know how panicked he was, not being able to find you��” 
Then Jake remembered what Neytiri advised, he didn’t change strategies because she was right next to him to dig his eyes out, but because his heart was picking up its pace by the second. “Tell me where you are, I’ll leave you alone, I promise, alright? If you’re somewhere open, get to safety, I’m only asking this from you. Or else—”
“Don’t.” Neytiri raised a warning finger at him, voice just above a whisper so they could hear their daughter if she decided to cut in. “Threaten her.”
He couldn’t stop her from snatching the communication device off of him. “Ma’ite, it’s mom. Can you talk to me at least?”
His ears twitched at picking up on you responding, not quite making out the words.  
Jake’s eyes shut close for a long time as his whole eyebrow line migrated upwards, he physically had to get a few steps between him and the earpiece so the obliviating worry that’d almost blinded him wouldn’t cause him to say something he’d greatly regret later. He could feel himself deflating. A migraine could be coming anytime soon.
You wouldn’t even acknowledge his existence but the moment your mother interrupted, you did? Fine. Fine. He didn’t care. Jake could live with it. At least you were alive.
A rippling shudder shook him the moment that thought hit him, an image of you lying dead in a ditch, pale blue, flashing in his mind, he had to run a hand down his face. 
When Jake looked back, irked by the silence, he found Neytiri standing completely stock-still. And all of a sudden, her petrifying glare was on him, ears pinned all the way back, hands gradually starting to tremble. 
“Neytiri?” 
She wordlessly handed him the device, and with a deep frown, Jake put it back in his ear. 
“Hi there Corporal, you hear me? Yeah, I know you do. As much as I’m charmed by the fatherly love I could give you a big old sloppy wet kiss, we have unfinished business.”
And the ground disappeared right under Jake’s feet, plunging him into hell itself.
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johnbrand · 4 days ago
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The Agent
The Agent made his way down the dock, his target approaching from the water in approximately 60 seconds. Underneath his perfectly polished suit hid a sculpted, muscular body fit for an athletic male, trained hard for the purpose of accomplishing any task ordered to him. However, none of that training would be utilized today, as his mission was objectively straightforward. No weapons, no fighting, not even any secrecy–all the Agent required was the small item in his pocket.
Standing now at the end of the dock, the Agent watched as his target approached. A younger male, in his early twenties according to the file he had read in advance. Thin, not particularly attractive and still holding some youthful weight around his face. The target was struggling to row his shell, the sweat visible on his loose shirt and shorts. The target was none the wiser to the Agent staring him down just yards away, too focused on his path ahead as the Agent reached for his device.
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In a matter of seconds, the miniature blowgun was in the Agent’s mouth. With a steady breath, the almost-microscopic dart soared across the water, directly into the target’s neck. Thanks to its size, the impact felt like nothing more than a little pinch, barely registerable. But it had still sunk, its contents absorbed into the neck. The Agent then turned and retreated back to his vehicle, his objective completed.
The target was nearly done with his row, now regretting having taken out the shell. His typical canoe, which he had become fairly skilled at, was apparently under repair. The target had not been made known to this besides a small note on the door to the boathouse. Even his father, a wealthy military tycoon, had not been made aware either, but had suggested using the old shell instead. His strength had not been built for a boat twice the size of what he was used to, causing his usual trip to take much longer than expected.
Seeing the shore of his father’s mansion come into view, the target decided to drop the oars and let the boat glide in. A sudden ache in his muscles made this decision for him; he would only recorrect the shell if necessary. The target let his mind wander, going through the academic course materials he would need to study over the rest of the day. But for some reason, the more he thought, the more his mind became muddled. It was almost like his head was filling with cotton, covering and obscuring the contents, forcing the target to search a bit more than usual to find what he was looking for.
The Agent slowly brought his car into a parked position. A safe yet viewable distance away from the shore, he scoped out his target, bringing his high-resolution camera into focus. He could see that the injection had already taken most of its effect. In the short time-span that the Agent had been gone, his target had nearly doubled in size. Even seated inside his shell, the Agent could discern that the target had grown over half a foot since he had last seen him.
Other changes were noted accordingly as they appeared. The increased muscle mass, the disappearance of acne, the heightened testosterone production. As the target got closer, the Agent was able to identify further details. Overall masculinization through a more refined haircut, sharper jaw, and inflated pouch (the target’s clothes now practically glued onto his frame). Increase in body hair, increase in sensuality, decrease in intelligence. That final factor was something the Agent already knew, but was confirmed by the target’s slower reaction speeds and more boisterous mannerisms.
The Agent snapped a few images as the target hopped out of his shell and into the shallowest portions of water near the shore. The Agent would report the mission as a success back to his commander. The target’s father had initially rejected their request of using his military goods for their own private services. But in less than 24 hours, the father would reconsider his decision once he realized his son had become another mindless, muscled drone for their operation. He would give anything to get his son back, unaware that his son would never return, instead becoming just another Agent.
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koenigami · 9 months ago
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➵ WRIOTHESLEY
synopsis : when old wounds reopen, he's relieved to have found solace in your presence wc : 1,4k tags : fem!reader, reverse comfort, fluff, little angsty bc of wrio's past
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Wriothesley feels it brewing like a storm. It starts in the noon, when a light headache makes his temples throb, when his chest seems to tighten, and his scars ache as if someone is about to rip them open again. 
He knows that sleep tonight won’t come easy. He always does. So instead of tossing and turning beside you, robbing you of your own rest, he prefers to stay the night in his office. 
“Got some paperwork to finish. Will probably stay the night here. Love you.” 
That’s the message he lets deliver to you when the dreadful feelings return like a supposedly defeated enemy. Everything seems fine until it is not. Until his concentration tends to drift off into another dimension overflowing with darkness. His thoughts leave him irritated, and unable to interact with other people without scaring them off. 
At night, Wriothesley eyes the couch in his office. He contemplates whether he should try to at least close his eyes. Maybe this time he’ll fall asleep. 
But he knows that a night without the vivid, gruesome images flashing before his eyes is only wishful thinking.
Instead he plunges himself into the dark space of his past. He watches small patches of blood form along the surface of the punching bag. The pain is almost impalpable, inexistent compared to what’s happening inside him right now. 
His breaths are laboured as he throws jabs into the bag, one after another rubbing off more and more skin from his knuckles. There’s sweat trickling down his face and back after only a few minutes, and he realises that he’s already drained.
His thoughts, his fears, his past. They've all caught up with him in a matter of hours, pulling him left and right, almost tearing him apart.
You have to keep on fighting, Wriothesley. You can’t let them win. 
Clouds obscure his vision until all he can see is red, all he hears are screams, and all he wants is peace. 
But he’s not aware that oftentimes, the one thing that you need the most is already right in front of you. He’s not aware that he could have lessened the pain of his restless nights a long time ago.
The mechanical sounds of sliding metals and working machinery catch his attention, and the doors open. The clouds suddenly disappear, and what remains blinds him.
Like a miner getting out of the deepest parts of a humid cave, he feels the rays of light warm his skin, and he swears it makes him shiver in delight. 
“One of the guards told me I’d find you here.” Your voice bounces off the walls as you approach him slowly. The ring in the middle of the room is empty, though a single glance at Wriothesley is enough to conclude that he comes down here to engage himself in different kinds of fights. 
“Y/n? Love, what are you doing here?” His words sound garbled as he speaks, and he’s reminded to take a few gulps from his water bottle. 
“Could ask you the same.” You eye him carefully while wrapping your jacket tighter around yourself. Just like the sea, the temperature inside the Fortress of Meropide seems to drop drastically at night. “Is this your so-called paperwork? Or have you already grown so tired of me that you prefer your workplace over our shared bed?”
Your words obviously carry no malice as you offer him a lopsided smile. Wriothesley can tell that you’re worried though. And tired. 
“You know that’s not true.” He watches you pluck a handkerchief out of your pocket, and sighs when you use it to wipe away some of the sweat beading his hairline. “It’s late, you should have stayed at home.” 
“You should have come home, Wriothesley.” There’s a change in your tone, and just your entire demeanour, when you spot the raw flesh and bruised skin on the back of his hands. But you swallow the sadness that the sight of him brings you. You push aside the disappointment of him not wanting to share his burden with you.
You suppress the anger and resentment that you hold for all the people that have let down Wriothesley’s younger self. The people who have hurt him, the monsters that still haunt him. Wherever they may be right now, you wish them nothing but utter agonising hell. 
“What am I going to do with you, hm?” Your eyes skim over the damaged knuckles before you pull him to the edge of the ring on which he leans against.
“You should have seen the other guy.” He smirks while his gaze follows your form wandering around the room, looking for some clean bandages and a bowl to pour water in. 
“Sure, his Grace has done quite the number on a sand-filled bag.” You roll your eyes as you find your place back between his legs, wetting and wringing a cloth out. “And on himself.”
Watching you tend to his roughed up skin with utter gentleness, Wriothesley’s again reminded how well his big hand fits into your smaller one. Hands that have destroyed so much, harmed so many, held by hands that look so delicate and which are used for mending and caring. The times that he has felt undeserving of them, of you, have been way too many, though he knows that you’d get upset if he told you so. 
It catches him off guard when the sensation of your soft, pillowy lips spreads along his freshly bandaged hands. Like a light breeze in the morning, you sweep away the remaining clouds from the previous stormy night, leaving the newly risen sun in your wake. The only difference is that the sun does not choose its target. You do, and you chose him.
Something about him makes him worthy of your love, of your time, of your touch. He’s not sure what it is, because to be frank he has never deemed himself as someone with extraordinary qualities and talents. He’s just an ordinary man with a less ordinary past. But maybe it’s exactly the former one that has made you choose him. You chose Wriothesley. Not the Duke. Not his Grace. Not a former criminal. Just him and all of his rough edges.
“Let’s go up and sleep, hm?” His hand cups the side of your face, the other settles on your waist as he pulls you in closer until your chest is flush against his. Wriothesley’s cheek nestles over your collarbone, and you feel his warm breath fan over your skin when he heaves a deep sigh. 
“I want to stay like this for a while. Is that okay?” You hum approvingly and watch his body relax against yours as the tension slowly but surely leaves his shoulders. A small groan slips past his lips when your fingers start tracing the muscles along his back. Like a map, you have memorised all his sore spots, all his ticklish spots, and the ones that are the most sensitive.
Wriothesley feels one of your hands slide further up to the nape of his neck. You start twirling his hair around your fingers, combing through the messy and sweaty strands, and lightly scratching his scalp in a way that makes his eyes droop, and body feel heavy.
You hear him mumble incoherently something beneath his breath and you laugh softly.
“What was that?”
“You’re amazing, you know that?” He says it so effortlessly as he gazes up at you with hooded eyes that seem to hold the entire world inside them. The corner of his lip twitches and you wonder if it is because he can feel your accelerated heartbeat.
“Well, you aren’t bad yourself either.” It’s when your chest quakes the slightest bit beneath his head, and when your sweet laugh reaches his ears-
It’s right then that he knows that he’s fine. For now, he’s fine.
And when you’re later on lying on the too short and too uncomfortable leather couch in his office with your body draped over his. When his past flashes in front of his eyes in form of nightmares. And when you hold him through every single one of them, caress his arms and chest in hopes that it will calm him down and ground him.
It’s right then that he realises that he’ll be fine as long as he has you by his side.
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hiyashortking · 1 month ago
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You Catch Lucifer Masturbating
Disclaimers and credit: read this post before reading any of my content, please.
Premise: Inspired by @venomhound's prompt list found here for the prompt: you catch them masturbating. My tenses are all fucked up in this one and I've chosen not to edit it to make sure it all matches ✌️.
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Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He’d forgotten that he asked you to stop by when you had a moment this week to drop off some bullshit he didn’t actually care about. He was just looking for an excuse to see you again, especially against the backdrop of his room. But depression and trauma do some fucked up shit to one’s brain because he forgot this scheme and left his door unlocked, and you came wandering in when he had his cock in his hand and your panties on his face.
How did he get your panties? A story for another time …
On the bright side, he temporarily cured himself of his desperate want to be around you. If someone had told him last month that he’d be actively avoiding you and would actually go back to his old place to get away from you, he would have put money on it. Unless it was Husk, of course. He was bordering on being obsessed with you, so desperate for just a glance at your face most days. And now? Hiding in shame.
The King of Hell, hiding from a simple little undead. It would be laughable if it wasn’t so pathetic.
You knocked on his door.
Like the true diva he was, he was in his bed eating ice cream and chocolates, surrounded by the fluffiest of his duckies. The only thing he’d managed to get out of bed for every day was his long, hot as fuck shower, during which he would not allow himself to stroke his cock. Punishment was something Lucifer had been taught well, and now he was enacting it on himself.
You knocked again.
He cleared his throat. A “who is it” came out with a squeak, which made him clear his throat and ask again in a tone with more authority.
“Hey, it’s me. I will never not knock again, I promise.”
How could you even joke about this?
W-wait, it was YOU at the door?
He jumped out of bed and fumbled around, trying to make his room look cleaner. He opened the window for fresh air, but the air of hell wasn’t fresh at all so he’d closed it again.
“I hope it’s okay, Charlie let me into the palace."
“Y-yes, of course. I’ll be right there. Is-is Charlie with you?” Where were his clothes? He wore the same fucking outfit every day for millennia, one would think it would be easy to get quickly dressed. The closet! Of course, that’s where clothes would be!
“She and Vaggie are downstairs. I didn’t tell her what happened but she got worried when she called you and you didn’t pick up. She said you’d done that in the past but that you’d been really attentive to her lately so she wanted to make sure you were okay …”
Running a hand through his hair, he opened the door and leaned with the other hand on the doorframe, trying to obscure your vision of his bedroom. He looked as gorgeous as always. Since you hadn’t seen him in a while, his smile seemed even prettier today. His hair looked so soft, you wanted to reach out and run your own fingers through it. He smelled amazing. Why hadn’t you ever realized how form-fitting his clothes were? You felt as if you were seeing him for the first time.
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“Hey, bitch,” he says, and immediately regrets it. But his smile only falters for a second.
You chuckle. He always makes you smile and laugh like a fool. “Well, you seem to be doing just fine! I don’t know why Charlie and I were so worried!”
He imitates your chuckle and tries to push away memories of why he is avoiding you. But wait- shouldn’t he be apologizing? His smile disappears when his thoughts race of what you must have thought and how he probably made you feel and-
“Y/N, I am so, so, so, sososososo sorry,” he lets out, almost as if his body deflates with each sound. His tail is out and literally between his legs.
“It’s o-”
He steps toward you abruptly and closes his door behind him. “Let’s sit down,” he takes your hand absent-mindedly as he focuses on which room to bring you into. Not his office. Not the librar- maybe the library? Didn’t you love reading? Maybe he could distract you with all the books!
He only realizes he is holding your hand when you’re at the center of one of his smallest, coziest libraries. “Oh fuck, oh shit, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize-”
“Lucifer, stop!” You plead.
He takes a deep, sharp inhale, his face awake with surprise, holds the breath, and releases it slowly, tilting his head up and relaxing his shoulders as he does.
“Thank you,” you say in unison, and then grin like the fools you both are.
“Please sit down,” he says as he does the same on the sofa across from yours. “May I get you something to drink?”
You noticed there were servants downstairs who were catering to the princess and her partner but who did not follow you up to the second floor.
“I’m just happy to see you, I’ve been struggling to think about anything else since you left.”
You’d been thinking about him since he left? He’d been gone for weeks!
“I’m so sorry to have worried you. As you can see, I am fine and dandy. Well- not entirely dandy, I’m obviously very much attracted to all the genders- I mean-”
Fuck, you missed him. One second the picture of elegance, and the next tripping over his words. When you caught him stroking his cock, with your used underwear on his face, you let yourself lean into all of the thoughts you hadn’t allowed when you assumed it would be impossible to be on his radar. And then he had the audacity to disappear, leaving you alone with just your fantasies.
Though you called him several times, you did doubt the situation you had seen. He was the King of Hell! Why would he be interested in you, all of being in hell? Maybe he just had a panty fetish and it didn’t mean anything that they were yours. Did this feel personal because it was, or because you desperately wanted it to be?
Wait, what was he saying?
“I’m so sorry to have worried you. As you can see, I am fine and dandy. Well- not entirely dandy, I’m obviously very much attracted to all the genders- I mean- wait- is dandy still an insinuation of being gay? Was it ever? Anyway, I’m not fully gay! Obviously! I mean-”
He was so fucking cute. You could listen to him ramble all day. “I honestly didn’t think you were going to see me, so I didn’t think about what I would say if you did. I’m just really happy to see you. I’m sorry I didn’t think this through more. I just want to be in the same room as you again.”
It wasn’t difficult to stun this man into a moment of silence, but the silence rarely lasted. He cleared his throat. “I, uh, I wanted to give you some space. I am obviously deeply apologetic for my behavior.” 
Was he struggling to look at you? Is the most powerful man in all of hell blushing and avoiding your eyes? Fuck, why was this turning you on?
“Please tell me if there is anything, anything in all of Hell I can do to gain your forgiveness. I will, of course, entirely understand if it would be impossible for you to forgive me, but I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn’t at least ask.”
“Luci, may we be blunt?”
He nodded.
“What exactly do you want me to forgive you for?”
What? What exactly? For being a creepy, rude, disrespectful, vile, impish-
“I think I want some clarity about why you think I’m upset with you,” you added.
“Well, you- … I- ... wasn’t what I did bad?”
“Bad?”
He hated how the thoughts I’ve been a bad boy intruded into his mind, but here he fucking was again, with his fucking trauma getting in the way of a new relationship, not to mention how fucking cliche. Wait- a possible relationship? You were here, seeking him out, confessing to thinking about him, not being mad at him for crossing boundaries, maybe not even wanting those boundaries to begin with? Was he letting some fucked up negative core belief about being "bad", whatever the fuck that meant, ruin something he could have with you?
“Oh, Luci,” you rose from your spot and kneeled in front of him as you would if you wanted to help a child feel less intimidated. “Can we just forget this happened? Maybe not all of it, because it led me to assuming I might have a chance with you. So, I guess, let’s maybe just keep the part where you might be attracted to me, and forget any other misconceptions?”
“A chance with me?”
You nodded and waited patiently for him to process.
“You would want a chance with me?”
You nod again, smiling. Waiting.
How had he only then realized you were on your knees in front of him?
He slid from the couch to join you on the floor, and scooped you up with ease to settle you sideways in his lap. He couldn’t think of you on your knees just then.
He felt welcomed by you, but realized that wasn’t consent. “Is this okay?” he asked.
“Yes, Luci, you can touch me anytime you like and you can touch any part of me you’d like to touch. I love, love, love being touched,” you emphasized. "Is it okay if I touch you, too?" you asked him.
Baffled, he nodded. "Yes. My word! Yes, enthusiastically! Yes, please!"
Did this grown ass man just quiver?
Oh shit, were you feeling him getting hard?
You seemed to share a brain cell in that moment because he apologized again, his arms loosely around you. “I haven’t- … done what you’d seen me doing- … since that day, so my body is-”
Whenever he got shy and apologetic, you wanted to respond with nurturing, but this time a second feeling won over and you laughed and hid your face in his neck.
“Lucifer Morningstar, you were so upset that I might think the King of Hell is immoral that you haven’t come in weeks?” The ridiculousness was too much to bear. Fuck, and he smelled amazing. You let yourself nuzzle into him, enjoying the feeling of his flesh. Did he have flesh? What were y’all made of down here? You rubbed your nose gently against his neck, enjoying how even the slightest touch connected you.
“That is correct,” was almost the truth, as he did not take responsibility for the things his body did while he was sleeping.
He let himself lean against the sofa a bit, enjoying you snuggling against him. He closed his eyes and tried his best to relax. Breathe in, hold, breathe out. Breathe in-
“You amusing, wonderful little fool,” you whispered, and when you did your lips brushed against his neck, and you were certain then that he had shivered.
You were not making it easy for him to settle down. You often wondered how he managed to go from tense to relaxed and then back to tense so easily. And these were his reactions when you were on your best behavior. How would he respond if you intentionally teased him? Shhh, brain, not now, you pleaded with yourself.
“Not everything about me is little,” he said back with some confidence.
“I know, remember?” You move your head to see his face. Fuck, you weren’t supposed to bully him! The man was vulnerable! Could you just chill for today?!
“Ugh!” he groaned. Had he been blushing before that remark, or was it only just now?
Seeing your smile helped ease him again and he wondered aloud, “maybe I need to walk in on you touching yourself thinking about me, so we can be even?”
“That would be challenging since I don’t really masturbate.”
“You don’t mas- what?”
“I prefer fucking.”
“You prefer fucking?”
“Yes, or being pleasured by someone else. I must just not be good at it or something, I’m not a big fan of solo play.”
“You’re not-”
“Are you just going to repeat everything I say?” You chuckle, realizing you’d been obliviously playing with his hair. You had the fingers of one hand at the back of his head, tugging gently and releasing, while the other battled with his hair's softness in the front, refusing to stay put where you'd wanted it to be.
“I might just, until something you say doesn’t wildly surprise me.”
You take pride in being able to surprise someone who came into existence at the beginning of time.
You’re also glad he positioned you this way in his lap, so you could more easily hide how wet this exchange was making you. What the fuck was your kink, powerful men being vulnerable? You couldn’t have just been into feet or something? Great, now there was an image of Lucifer kissing your feet in your brain. In boots. That he bought for you. With his endless hell currency. Fuck.
“I guess I’ll have to abstain a little longer," he mused. "Because now all I want is to turn you on so much that you can’t stop touching yourself.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
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seoltzuki · 7 months ago
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Later
mina x gn reader
fluff, suggestive sorta, not proofread
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Entering the suite, your hands brim with bouquets for Mina, the vibrant petals of orange, pink, and white nearly obscuring your view. Carefully, you navigate through the room, finding a spot on the antique vanity to set them down.
In the bustling scene of stylists, makeup artists, and assistants, everyone exudes a sense of fatigue yet they’re still committed. Glancing around, you search for Mina, as you overhear praises from her manager. Following the voice, you maneuver around the cables from the ring lights, making your way to the balcony, anticipation building with each step.
You reach the door and there she is, bathed in the soft glow of the setting sun. God, she’s so beautiful. Despite the casual luxury of her attire her relaxed demeanor contrasts with the elegance of her surroundings.
Leaning against the concrete railing of the balcony, her hair dances around her face, framing it like a halo, her eyes sparkling.
She strikes another pose, effortlessly shifting her stance as you lean against the door frame, completely in awe by her presence.
A graceful swipe of her hair to the side, and then she sees you. In an instant, her serious model demeanor fades, replaced by a gummy smile that lights up her face as she catches sight of you.
Another picture is snapped, capturing Mina’s radiant smile as she poses effortlessly. The manager excuses themselves, disappearing back inside, likely to discuss the schedule with the rest of the staff.
“Hey,” she sighs softly, pulling a hand out to reach for you. You walk up and gently take her hand in yours, answering back with a simple, “Hey.”
You both gaze at each other, small smiles playing on your lips, each showing a hint of shyness. Despite the passing years, you both still can't help but feel a rush of giddiness whenever you're together.
"How was the photoshoot?" you ask, but then you can't help but add, "You look breathtaking, have I told you?"
She giggles and squeezes your hand. "Yes, you did," she replies with a playful smile, "and it went well." She then looks down at her outfit and asks, "Do you like my clothes?"
You look down at her plain t-shirt, then her jeans, and suddenly, your gaze lingers a little longer. God… the way the Fendi undergarments peek over the waistband of her jeans and the tantalizing bit of skin showing in between… Gosh, what you’d do to bite that skin there—
“You’re staring, y/n,” Mina interrupts, her voice pulling you back to reality. She stretches back a bit, giving you a better view, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
You clear your throat, feeling a bit flustered by being caught, and quickly regain your composure. “Sorry,” you say with a chuckle, “I got lost in thought for a moment. But yes, I do like your clothes. They always leave a lasting impression.”
Mina raises an eyebrow, a playful glint in her eyes. “Oh? And what kind of impression are they leaving on you?” she asks with a smirk, leaning in closer.
Your cheeks flush as her proximity sends a flutter through your stomach. "Well," you start, your voice dropping to a husky tone, but then you can't help but tease back, "that's actually rich coming from you, Miss I have a staring problem."
As you tease Mina about her staring tendencies, a playful glint intensifies in her eyes. She leans in even closer, her breath warm against your skin, and murmurs, “Well, maybe I can’t help staring when I’m looking at something so irresistible.”
Your heart skips a beat at her words, and before you can reply, she closes the distance between you, capturing your lips in a soft, teasing kiss. It’s brief but electrifying, sending a surge of desire coursing through you.
You pull back slightly, a smirk playing on your lips. “Careful now,” you whisper, your voice laced with mock warning. “We don’t want to give the whole staff a show.”
Mina chuckles, her eyes sparkling mischievously. “Who says I mind putting on a show?” she retorts, her fingers tracing playful patterns on your arm.
Despite the temptation, she knows you’re right. With the entire staff bustling about inside, it wouldn’t be appropriate to take things any further. But the tantalizing promise of what could be hangs in the air between you.
Reluctantly, you pull away, but not before pressing a lingering kiss to Mina’s cheek. “Later,” you murmur, your voice low and husky with anticipation.
She smiles, her own lips tingling from the kiss. “Definitely later,” she agrees, her eyes alight with promise.
She then kisses your jaw, a soft smile gracing her lips, her shy demeanor returning. You can’t help but be drawn to her sweetness as you pull her along with you, leaving the balcony behind.
“I ordered fries, by the way,” you grin, your hand lingering on the mesmerizing hint of skin you so badly want to bite.
“Did you bring the ketchup?”
“Of course, my love,” you reply, a cheeky twinkle in your eye as you dig into your pocket, pulling out a small ketchup pouch. You hand it to her with a playful wink.
One last longing glance is shared and you both warily return to the bustling suite, the memory of your stolen moment on the balcony lingering in the air like a sweet secret.
Later.
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tearsucry · 2 months ago
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— °˖ ⊹ ꒰ 🖋️ ꒱ someone else's familiar ; agatha harkness (agatha all along)
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#.                   being a familiar to anyone wasn't as easy in the long run as it started out, being in love with your enemies familiar proved to be another horrible challenge to face
content warning;          female-bodied reader, angst, time jump to the past, reader is rio's familiar, shapeshifter! reader, | 0.6k words
a/n.                                        don't ask please, i need this woman and i'm feeling sad over it so have this angsty thing... happy reading !!! ofc this is not how I see rio, but just for plot purposes :/
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the purple witch found it quite intriguing that the earth witch herself was willing to take up a familiar such as yourself for the first time ever. she dragged you around like a puppy in training (given you could have turned into one it would have been easier), picking you up from the dirt like a kid how she grabbed you by your shirt to lift you out of the mud and blood, stuffing her potions back into your hands.
"didn't i tell you to stay behind me?" agatha hears rio snarl at you, bending down to pick up the cloak that slipped from your shoulders and throwing it over your head, completely ignoring that it would obscure your vision.
"the salem seven has an urgent message for you, earth witch." you mumbled behind your hand as you wiped the mud around your mouth with the back of your palm, being careful without letting the potions in your arms fall once again. "I don't have time to stop and listen to a mouse wince about messages and do my job."
you say nothing back, just square your shoulders before continuing to follow rio's pace. agatha just watches on as the two of you disappear, her mind no longer occupied by the woman from all those years ago but you.
she went around, and asked locals in the village who you were, why were you so special to the earth witch, and why you were handled in such a way by her. none of the villagers were sure, not even the older witches had any idea why would a witch like her anchor a shapeshifter like you.
and she helps you up a little gentler than her when the two of you cross paths, offering her hand, and putting her other one on the middle of your back to make sure you don't fall over again as you try to gather yourself. she stares into your eyes for a second, with a quick jump of her gaze to your lips that have a couple of drops of blood on them, a cut close to one of the corners, and looks a little dry like you have been licking it out of anxiety.
agatha tries to say something and she surprises herself with how her voice chokes in her throat, that defeated look on your face moving something inside of her she didn't know was there. it surprises her how you didn't fight back, tried to attack her- assuming that rio had warned you about her, that's what you should have done.
"are you always this generous with people before stealing their magic?" your words were cruel, like barbed wire squeezing agatha's heart that was so fascinated with you despite not knowing your name. so rio did tell you about her and what she was up to, not that she had planned on doing something to you other than help at this moment, get you back to your 'handler' because she couldn't have you for herself.
the earth witch was your anchor to this world, you had given up your individual freedom to stay on this earth for some reason, and despite your hardship next to your master you seemed determined with your chosen path it seemed.
she didn't want to shake your beliefs, try her magic to sever the bond between you and rio.
for someone so selfish like her, it's all too out of character to care about a puppy like you.
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yanderecrazysie · 3 months ago
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ARACHNOPHOBIA (Yandere Gojo)
I'm literally so embarrassed, I posted this on the wrong account. I'm such an idiot lmao
As promised by the poll. Glossophobia coming eventually lol. All characters are adults.
Please don’t request any phobias. I just felt like making this for fun.
I’m not great at writing Gojo, so take this as is XD
Title: Arachnophobia
Pairings: Gojo Satoru x Reader
WARNINGS: Yandere themes, drider Gojo, NSFW, NON-CON, virgin reader
Phobia: The fear of spiders
“I’ll be right back, Papa.”
Your elderly father sat up in his bed, staring at your retreating figure, “You’re getting your herbs from the village, right?”
“Of course, Papa,” you replied. 
A lie - there were no herbs that would heal him in the village.
The old man laid back down, weakly waving goodbye to you. You felt badly about lying to him, but there was no way you could tell him the truth.
The forest had a reputation for being dangerous, especially as twilight settled in. The tall, ancient trees caused long, crooked shadows across the overgrown paths. Mysterious disappearances and reports of strange creatures made these woods well-known, and not in a good way.
You had always been one for adventure, but even you felt apprehensive about entering. It wasn’t like you really had a choice. If you wanted to heal your father- the only family member you had left… Well, you could only find those herbs within the infamous forest.
As you walked along the burr-covered path, the dirt barely able to be seen under the waist-high grass, you found yourself tripping over vines and wincing as thorns caused stripes of blood to cover your legs. The trees grew thicker as you traversed deeper into the forest and the leaves above you began to obscure the already-fading light.
There were no sounds other than the occasional snap of twigs underfoot. No owls, no bats, no signs of life whatsoever. You took a deep breath and steadied your nerves. 
You felt like you were being watched.
Eventually, you came across a clearing, bathed in the soft glow of the full moon. You dropped to your knees and sifted through the underbrush, finding the herbs you had told about immediately. Three dark, sharp-edged leaves and red berries, only made difficult to get by the thick cobwebs that stuck to the branches.
A soft rustling sound behind you caught your attention. You paused, hands full of leaves and berries, and you held your breath, ears straining. There it was again… closer this time.
You stood up slowly, scanning the treeline for movement. It was strange- you hadn’t noticed the copious amounts of spiderwebs in the trees before. Giant silvery strings that stretched from tree trunks to sagging branches.
“Lost in the woods, are we, butterfly?”
The voice was smooth and playful. It sent a chill down your spine- a voice like that didn’t belong here. You turned towards the source and backed into the bush as a figure emerged from the shadows. At first glance, he was a tall, handsome man with striking blue eyes, pure white hair, and a charming smile. 
The moment he stepped into the moonlight, that illusion was shattered.
His lower half was the body of a giant spider- long, segmented legs covered in white hair and a sleek, white abdomen. The contrast between the handsome human and creepy spider was jarring, making him some mix between beautiful and terrifying.
“Wh-what the fuck are you?” you stammered, tripping backwards over the bush and landing on something soft.
He chuckled, “My name is Gojo Satoru. And you, little butterfly, have ventured quite far from safety.”
Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it would beat out of your chest, “I’m just here for herbs. I’ll leave right away.” 
You tried to stand up, only to realize the soft thing you’d landed on was an intricate spiderweb. Panic set in as you struggled against the sticky webs.
“Oh dear, is the little butterfly stuck?” Gojo asked with a mocking laugh. You glared at him, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. “Ahh… so cute… to think I finally get to see you up close.”
It took you several seconds to process what he had said, “You know who I am?”
Gojo’s grin widened, “Let’s just say I’ve been wanting a moment like this for a while. Any other human that wandered into my territory, I’d eat. But not you, little butterfly.”
“So what are you planning to do to me?” you demanded.
If it was possible, his grin widened even more so that you could see two long fangs among his human teeth, “Guess.”
Your gaze traveled over his body before catching sight of something throbbing under the spider’s body. Suddenly, something slid out of the white- something long and thick and flesh-colored…
“Oh no- no no no no NO!” you screeched, fighting against the stubborn strands that entrapped you.
Gojo let out a loud laugh and carelessly took ahold of your shirt with two spider legs and lifted it over your head. You tried desperately to escape the web, but it was useless. The back of the shirt and the sleeves remained stuck to you, but the front was ripped off with the force of Gojo’s strength.
“No bra?” Gojo laughed, “It’s like you wanted this to happen.”
Tears sprang to your eyes as his human hands groped both breasts, his bright blue eyes glued to the way they moved under his hands. Spindly spider legs tore your jeans off, breaking the web off your legs in the process.
Unfortunately, you were still stuck from the waist up, the sleeves trapping your shoulders in place and your arms splayed like angel’s wings. Gojo leered at your underwear, snickering at the pure white color and the little pink bow on the front. 
“It’s like you knew this was going to happen,” he said before tearing that off of you too.
Your naked body trembled in fear and cold as your nipples pebbled in response to the chilly air. You tried to look away from the half-spider creature, but you felt something slimy and hard begin to grind against your thigh.
Slimy? You risked a glance and immediately wished you didn’t. Attached to the pure white belly of the spider was a mostly-human-looking cock. It had a strange texture and it was covered in a weird wetness, but otherwise it was pretty normal. Except that it was absolutely massive.
You began to shake your head frantically. There was no way you could take that thing in you. You’d never even been with a human guy before, much less this giant spider creature!
Gojo’s laugh echoed through the forest as he took in your terrified expression. “Don’t worry, little butterfly, I’ll be gentle.”
Gojo’s spindly spider legs held you firmly in place as he mounted you and positioned his monstrous cock at your unprepared entrance. His human hands reached up to cup your breasts, teasing your nipples into harder peaks as he slowly pushed inside of you.
You let out a gasp as the head popped inside and let out a cry of pain. The slimy texture allowed him to push inside farther, despite your lack of arousal, but it was still agonizing.
Gojo let out a satisfied groan as he gave a rough shove of the hips and bottomed out inside you. You let out a scream as his massive cock filled you completely, stretching your cunt to its limits.
It was painful and uncomfortable, but Gojo didn’t seem to care, nor did he honor his promise of “being gentle”. He began to thrust in and out of you with abandon, his legs pinning you down as he took what he wanted from your body.
Your body shook with each powerful thrust but, slowly, the pain began to fade, replaced by an unfamiliar sensation. 
Gojo’s human hands continued to tease your breasts, sending waves of pleasure through your body. Despite your initial fear and disgust, you began to respond to his touch.
Your hips began to roll in time with his, your body seeking more of the strange pleasure he offered you. Gojo let out a low growl as he felt your body respond to him and increased his pace, driving into you harder and faster. Wetness spread between your legs, your mind betrayed as your body gave into the pleasure.
With one final thrust, Gojo let out a triumphant roar as he came deep inside you. Your body shook with the force of his release, your own orgasm following closely behind.
You lay against the web, panting and spent, as Gojo slowly pulled out of you, sliding a hand gently against your cheek and smiling. “You did a great job, little butterfly.”
Shame immediately flooded you and tears leapt to your eyes. How could you enjoy being fucked by a spider? Gojo pouted at the sight and pulled you from the web.
“You’ve had your fun,” you spat, trying to ignore the cum starting to drip out of you, “Now let me go home.”
“Oh little butterfly,” Gojo laughed, “The fun’s only just started.”
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daycourtofficial · 5 months ago
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I got cursed like Eve got bitten - part VI
Pairing: Azriel x Rhysand's sister!reader | WC: 3.1k | Warnings: none
Summary: reports of a rare powered fae popping up in Illyria send Azriel and Rhysand on a journey through the past, unraveling a truth they thought long buried
Previous part | Next part | Masterlist
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You came down the stairs, becoming more and more familiar with the halls of the River House in the week you had been here. You had hardly seen anyone outside of Feyre - Azriel and Rhys roamed the halls on occasion, Rhys ensuring he saw you daily to ask about your progress with training, however the meetings were curt and last no longer than a few minutes.
They always left you unsettled, as if he expected more from you.
Today Feyre had told you to rest from using your powers, that you needed a day off. The past few days you had spent the evenings after your lessons either in the library or in your room curled up with a book, but now you were desperate to tour Velaris.
And maybe have social interaction outside of Feyre. 
Over the past few days, you knew Azriel was in the house, the shadows that follow him making their presence known time and again. You couldn’t tell if they were wary of you or just excited to meet someone new, but Azriel remained wary of you, never lingering for long, opting to act more as a guard than anything else. 
That didn’t stop your mind from holding onto the image of him laughing at the bakery, though, despite its fictitious origins. 
You came into the dining room to find the male who preoccupied your thoughts reading letters as he ate scones, all with what looked to be strawberry jam. You took the seat across from him, reaching for the basket of scones and the jar of strawberry jam, lathering the jam onto a scone. He looked at you in almost disgust, watching you lather a scone with the jam. “You won’t like that.”
You raised your eyebrows at the challenge, “and why not?”
His wing twitched, “most fae don’t like it. It’s an acquired taste.”
You took a bite in defiance, the face you made at the flavor unable to be hidden. He preened a little in satisfaction before sitting back and reading his letters once more. You placed the half eaten scone back onto your plate before addressing him again. “I want to see Velaris.”
He pointed to the window before bringing his hands back to pick up his coffee, taking a drink as you spoke. You rolled your eyes at him, “I want to walk through the city. Feyre said I could, I just had to ask.”
The coffee spewed across the table, soaking the scones as Azriel coughed. Your eyes widened, watching him wheeze from across the table. 
“You want what?”
“I want to see the city.”
“And Feyre told you you could?”
You raised your brow, “am I not allowed to? I was under the impression that I am not a prisoner-“
“You’re not.”
“Great, then you’ll show me the city?”
Something in his eyes darkened and you swore you saw a shadow slither through his hair, a few winding through his fingers, the black wisps securing a grip on his trembling fingers. Several of the other shadows had moved handkerchiefs over the spots his coffee had landed, dabbing the tablecloth in an effort to lift the stains.
He looked at you, his gaze and voice softer, “do you want to finish eating?”
You looked at the half eaten scone before looking back, his eyes crinkling slightly in amusement. Your breath hitched at the way he looked at you, a familiarity coating his gaze.
The spell he casted over you disappeared as you looked back to his papers, shadows pooling on top to obscure the words. “Will I be keeping you from something?”
He looked at the papers before looking back at you. “No, just reviewing some old notes. We can leave whenever you wish.”
You nodded toward the door, Azriel’s pages from the tables disappearing into the black darkness of his shadows before they disappeared completely. A few other shadows picked up your plates, carrying them off to the kitchen. You could hear the clattering as they dropped the plates in the sink before turning on the water.
“Neat trick.”
He smiled, following you as you led him through the halls to the front door. “They come in handy.”
He followed, his hands behind his back as he strolled behind you. You opened the front door, stepping through the front garden, unable to see much over the hedges at the entrance. Once you reached the perimeter of the property, pushing through the iron gates, your ears were enveloped in sound - laughter, chatter, children playing. It almost overwhelmed you - you peered back as Azriel followed, chuckling at your disorientation. 
“Sound ward.”
It was explanation enough - you supposed living at street level would be rather noisy without it. The streets were lined with people, some rushing through the streets, others idly strolling arm in arm. You watched older fae walk the cobblestones, their faces lined with age and joy. You peered down the street, the bodies of fae seemingly endless from your viewpoint. Your ears twitched at the sound of a river nearby, thousands of gallons of water rushing beneath the beautifully painted bridges.
You turned to Azriel, slightly overwhelmed at the crowd and the sun and all of the choices available to you. “Where should we go?” Your voice was timid, a spike of fear coursing through you that he might mock your indecision. 
“You would like the Rainbow.”
“What’s that?” The name alone piqued your interest, but you needed to hear from him what it entailed. Your eyes flitted about, wringing your hands in nervousness. Children ran in the streets, hands covered in melted candy as they wove through legs. You watched street vendors chat with pedestrians, couples lounging on blankets in the grass feeding each other pastries.
It felt like a fantasy world, a setting more fitting for a novel rather than the capital of the Night Court. You understood why the High Lord rarely ventured to the outskirts of Illyria when this sanctuary existed.
You wouldn’t leave on your own, either.
A soft hand on your arm guided you to the right, the two of you blending into the crowd seamlessly. “The Rainbow is the artist’s quarter of the city. Feyre spends a fair chunk of her time there.”
You nodded, a bit confused because you saw Feyre for a decent chunk of your day. A pang of discomfort lodged in your stomach at how much she’s likely altered her schedule to spend time with you doing lessons that are having little to no effect on your hold over your powers.
Your eyes roamed the streets, watching the people that passed the two of you. Most of them steered clear of the pair of you, avoiding coming within several feet. “They must not like outsiders.”
Azriel walked next to you, his hand gone from your back, the skin growing cold at his absence. “It’s not you they’re not fond of.”
You looked up at him, his hazel eyes full of warmth that contradicts his words. “Are you sure?”
He doesn’t respond, opting instead to look about the streets, his stride bringing him slightly closer to you. “Are you hungry?”
“No.” It comes out before you know what you’re saying.
“You ate one bite of scone before coming out here. Come, there’s a restaurant over the bridge with crepes.”
“Crepes?” The word sounded foreign on your tongue.
“They’re an Autumn Court breakfast food, but several centuries ago someone from Autumn arrived here seeking asylum and they opened a cafe.” As the two of you melded into the crowd, less people avoided the two of you, several nearly brushing past you causing you to move closer to Azriel.
“So, over the centuries how often have you eaten here?”
“I eat here once a week.”
He guided you to a restaurant that was crowded from the outside, the inside containing even more fae if that were possible. The two of you walked into the shop, Azriel holding the door open for you before walking in behind you. The place was crowded, small tables packed closely together to provide as much space for customers to eat as possible. 
“Are you sure we can get a table?”
He chuckled, his mouth closer to your ear than you had realized. Your skin erupted in goosebumps, the sound ringing in your ears, a soft smile on your face as he pushed you through the crowd, using you as a buffer. It felt a smidge ridiculous that this large Illyrian was using you as a way through the throngs of people and tables, but your attention focused on the way his hand felt through your shirt and why this feeling was so new. 
You felt tingly inside, not much different from the young girls in your village giggling and gossiping about falling in love with princes and being whisked away. Sure, you had looked at others and could see why people were attracted to them - but you had never felt that way yourself, chalking it up to some bad experience in your past. But now his touch roared inside of you, feeling as if he were burning a hole through your shirt.
You moved through tables, hitting them lightly with your thigh before wincing. He pushed you all the way to the back of the restaurant where a hidden staircase was, the two of you moving up its tight quarters. The stairs opened up to a large, open space. A handful of tables littered the floor, but only two were occupied. 
It felt easier to breathe up here.
Your eyes caught on the beautiful stained glass window, walking toward it with an outreached hand. Just before you touched the glass, Azriel’s scarred hand wrapped around your own, patting it gently before pulling it to your side.
“It’s thousands of years old.”
“Sorry,” you say sheepishly. “It’s just.. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
You observed the colored glass, the scene depicting beautiful white and pink water lilies floating on water, a luscious green landscape around them. Two people sat on the edge of the river, their legs outstretched on the river bank.
“It’s enchanted. It changes the scene with the landscape. If you come here regularly, you can watch the lilies move downstream and get replaced by fish, and then the leaves begin to change.”
You looked on in awe, unable to believe such magic could exist.
“What about the people?”
He smiled, “they never leave. They move around, but they never leave.”
“Must have been an incredible artist.”
“He was.”
He guided you to a table, pulling your chair out before sitting opposite you. The table was small, so whenever Azriel wanted to face you, his legs were caging in on your own to fit beneath.
Someone appeared before the two of you, her short red hair accentuating her jawline. 
“Azriel.” She smiled before looking at you, her words stumbling as she took you in. Azriel’s foot moved beneath the table, hitting her leg lightly, jolting her from her trance.
“Yes, sorry. Um, I’m Tori. This is my cafe.” She gestured her arms out, taking in the space. “And Azriel’s been a longtime friend.”
He ducked his head at her words, his black curls falling into his eyes.
“He never brings females around here. Just that annoying brother of his on occasion.”
You heard the thump of his foot into her leg, a soft ow following it. She bent down to rub her shin before moving her gaze back up to you, looking at you through round glasses.
“Anyway, this is a private space for my more.. Favorite customers. Azriel, do you want a menu?”
He nodded gently, taking the menu from her hand before she offered one to you. You smiled in thanks before she disappeared down the steps. 
“You have a brother?”
He nodded, “I do. He is rather pesky and annoying.”
“Any other siblings?”
He shook his head, looking down and away from you. You peered around the space, taking in the dark wooden beams. Azriel cleared his throat, tapping your menu with one of his fingers. “She’ll be back rather quickly and I’m sure you’re starving.”
You looked down at the menu before looking back at him. “What do you get when you come here?”
His face is serious, tone grave as he responds, “the chocolate, chocolate, chocolate crepe.”
You giggled, the sound bringing a curve to his lips. “I guess you have a sweet tooth?”
He nodded, looking a bit sheepish.
“Me too.” You looked at the entrance to the stairs, not seeing Tori again. “Sugar’s rare in my village, but when it does come in, I’m a bit too indulgent.”
You rubbed the back of your neck as he laughed, “do you eat straight from the bag?”
“Of course not! I transfer it to a bowl first, like civilized folk.”
You both laughed, looking down at the table, your fit of giggles interrupted by Tori’s inquisitive tone. “Do you know what you want?”
“We need-”
“I’ll have whatever he’s having.”
The two look at you, surprise on both of their faces. “Everything?”
You nodded, smiling to the two in front of you. Tori collected your menus, whispering, “the usual?” Azriel nodded, and she disappeared back down the steps. 
Your eyes crinkled in delight, “Why were you both concerned over me ordering what you have? Is it that sweet?”
“No it’s just, no.”
He shook his head
The two of you sat in a slightly uncomfortable silence, his non answer lingering in the air when Tori came back with two mugs of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and tiny marshmallows.
“Thank you, Tori.”
She nodded once more before heading off again, the two of you left with your steaming mugs. 
“Now this is worse than eating sugar straight from the bag.”
He rolled his eyes, but watched as you took a sip, his eyes open with expectation. You set the mug back down, lacing your fingers on the table. 
“So?”
“I burnt my tongue.”
The rest of the breakfast goes well, the chocolate, chocolate, chocolate crepe truly lived up to its name and then some. You felt like you were bursting with sugar, like your blood was now liquid chocolate.
“I can’t move.”
He laughed as you slumped down into the chair, your legs in between his beneath the table. “Maybe they’ll rename it ‘death by chocolate’ in your honor.”
“At least some good would come from my death.”
He stilled at your words, his fork clattering onto the plate. The sound shocked him, his hands hurried as he tried to pick it back up, apologies spilling from his mouth. 
“Are you ready to go? We can go to the Rainbow, if you want.”
You nodded, but his eyes refused to meet your own, and you hate to admit how much that bothered you.
-
The two of you walked around the Rainbow for hours, in and out of galleries, looking at various art supplies. The tension in the air lessoned, but it never got to where it was before you two abruptly left Tori’s cafe, the pretty redhead calling out for you to come by anytime as you headed out. Azriel walked behind you once more, keeping an eye on every move you made.
It was mostly quiet between the two of you, every conversation you tried to start immediately being shut down by short, clipped responses.
You decided to head back to the River House, Azriel trailing behind you as you looked at the ground. You felt as if eyes were on you, your skin prickling beneath someone’s gaze. You looked up, your heart stopping in your chest as you found someone already looking at you from across the road.
He made your steps falter, stopping in the middle of the road beneath his scrutiny. He made your heart beat faster, everything inside of you telling you to run, run, run. He watched you, a predatory look on his face as his eyes roamed your body. 
You shrank beneath his gaze, your breathing growing heavy, and you heard Azriel calling for you, but you were stuck. 
His eyes.
Cold, blue eyes looked into your own, dread seeping out of your every pore. Azriel tugged on your sleeve, but you ignored it, too caught in the male’s gaze. He had dark, chestnut brown hair down his front, the straight sleek hair nearly to his hips. He wore ordinary clothes, nothing about him standing out as different.
But something in you was begging your feet to move. 
You opened your mouth to tell Azriel, but someone bellowed, “look out!”
Azriel’s hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you back as a cart moved through the space you had been in, the horse attached to it having gotten loose. Your breaths came out hard, panting as he held your back to his chest, having spun you away from the chaos. Your skin felt cool as wind blew over it, roaming over every inch of your skin, but you didn’t notice. 
You turned in Azriel’s arms, but the male was gone. You searched for him up and down the street, but you couldn’t catch even a trace of him.
Azriel held you as you panted, breathing labored as you felt his grip dig into your flesh. You turned once more, searching for the mystery male, eyes getting fixated elsewhere. To your right you saw a bakery, tall windows allowing their various pastries to be on display. The pastries looked divine, someone receiving what looked to be fresh bread behind the counter catching your eye. You quickly forgot about what happened with the male and the cart and the horse, unable to think of anything except for this bakery.
Your eyes roamed the shop, how the building was thin, but long. You moved toward the window subconsciously, able to make out your reflection in the glass as you peered at the empty table in the bay window. You watched your reflection as Azriel approached behind you, his wings relaxed but still towering over you. 
He stood a few feet back, the rest of his body obscured by your own. You blinked back tears at the image before you.
Wings of your own.
You had them at some point, you knew this to be fact. But you never could remember how they fit onto your frame, how your back must have ached from the weight of them. You knew how it ached at the loss of that weight, too. How you spent a long time walking off balance, your body unsure of how to move without the limbs.
Your chest felt the same.
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powderpinkandsweeet · 5 months ago
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More Loser Ellie that lives in the apartment one floor below you. Creepy Ellie follows you to the gym, non-consensual filming, nsfw descriptions and allusions but no fucking
When you’re in the apartment complex’s small gym area, you’re startled as you hear the door open. Seeing that it was your downstairs neighbor you sigh and relax. Ellie stood in the doorway clutching the strap of her backpack with both hands.
Even with only two people in the room it could feel crowded what with the equipment on one wall and benches on the other, but you figure you didn’t have to worry about being stuck in there with some kind of creep. She didn’t look it but Ellie was the kind of creep you should have been worried about.
You gave her a polite smile, putting your headphones back in and resuming your workout. Ellie counted herself lucky that you felt so relaxed in her presence. She slung the backpack off her shoulder and onto the floor beside a bench. You had your head turned away, focused on whatever show you had on your phone as you jogged on the treadmill.
Propping her phone up in the zipper of her backpack with the front facing camera pointing in your direction. With one more glance behind her to ensure your back is turned and you’re in the frame, Ellie presses the record button. Carefully, she lifts the edge of the backpack’s pocket to partially obscure the screen.
She crossed the small, humid room before plopping onto the seat of a stationary bike. "Well shit," Ellie thought, realizing that without her phone she couldn't keep herself entertained or listen to music. So, Ellie entertained herself by sneaking "subtle" glances at you as you went about your workout. It was Ellie's lucky day as she had a front row seat to your tits bouncing as you jump rope and your leggings stretching across your ass as you squat with a bar held across your shoulders.
You stopped for a moment to take a drink of water, unscrewing the bottle and chugging it. A few drops spilled down your chin, falling on your chest and disappearing between your breasts. Ellie almost moaned as she wished to trace the line with her tongue. After intently watching you stretch your aching muscles, you stand and pull your headphones from your ears. Snapping them into their case, you look up and make eye contact with Ellie.
You tiredly smile at her, panting from the exertion of your workout. You looked incredible glistening with sweat, flushed cheeks, and panting. She so badly wanted to be the reason you were flushed and out of breath. You dabbed the sweat off your forehead and chest with one of the complimentary towels, tossing it into the laundry basket. "I'll see you around, Ellie" you coo in your sweet voice before turning and pushing out the door. Her eyes follow the sway of your hips as you headed toward your apartment.
Ellie lunges for her backpack. She nearly drops her phone when she pulls it out of her bag. She stops the recording, seeing that she had an over thirty-minute video of you putting on a show just for her.
On her way out, Ellie takes a peek into the laundry hamper by the door. You were both there early enough in the morning that your towel was the only one there. After much consideration, Ellie grabbed the towel stuffed it in her backpack.
In her bedroom with headphones in and curtains closed, Ellie watches the video. She considers the possibility that you were trying to get her attention. Maybe you had seen the camera, turned your head while she was focused on her set up and saw yourself in the viewfinder. I mean, you were practically flaunting your tits and ass right in front of the camera.
As you bent over to grab your water bottle in the video, Ellie zoomed in to see the curve of your ass and the outline of your pussy through your leggings. Ellie wondered if you even wore panties because the fabric clung so tight she could practically see the lips of your pussy.
At the 15 minute mark, she sees something unexpected. Ellie recalls taking a bathroom break partway through your workout to “readjust” herself. Panting and fanning your face with your hand, you approach the bench. Her eyes widen as she sees you come closer to the camera. Your drawstring bag rests on the bench, Ellie sees your cleavage as you lean in front of the camera. Your nipples are almost visible through your swimsuit.
You rummage in the bag for a second, pulling it closed and going to set it down again, but you pause. You notice that the zipper to Ellie’s backpack is partway open. Looking closer, you see the light of the phone screen shining on the zipper. Odd that she would have her phone on while it’s in her bag. She’s just wasting battery that way! Well maybe she’s recording her workout? She didn’t seem the type but some people record for improvement purposes, you guess. The gym was small, so trying to get just yourself in frame could be hard. You tried to shrug it off because it looked like she just forgot to stop recording, so you incorrectly assumed that she would just edit it out.
Ellie laughed as she realized that you either didn’t know or didn’t care that she was filming you. You were perfectly naive in that way, and it made her feel only slightly less guilty. Ellie took screenshot after screenshot of the video and saved them on her phone in a folder labeled with your name. At the end of the video, she sees you wipe your face and throw away the towel. She nearly forgot about the towel.
More importantly, though, you had said her name on video.Your voice was slightly muffled, but it was more than Ellie thought she would get this time. Out of breath, you panted through her phone’s speakers “I’ll see you around, Ellie.”
“Fuck,” Ellie whispers. She unzips her backpack to take out her headphones and your towel. She holds the towel to her nose and mouth and rewinds the video “Ellie…” She took a deep inhale through her nose in an attempt to smell you. She could smell the salt of your sweat, and she whimpered as she recalled how the towel had gone between your breasts.
Again and again she rewinds the video, listening to you repeat “Ellie… Ellie… Ellie…”
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perlelune · 1 year ago
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Oxytocin | Coriolanus Snow | iii.
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One act of kindness from a peacekeeper may be your salvation or your doom. Possibly both.
Warnings: NON-CON, Blackmail, District 8 Reader, Stalking, Kidnapping
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙
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Staccato breaths mingle with the wild drumming of your heart as Coriolanus takes you to a place unknown, so far from where you live on the outskirts of town.
The freezing air sneaks under your skirt, causing your legs to tremble. Wherever you look, you’re surrounded by darkness, a cluster of clouds cloaking the moon now.
It reminds you how utterly alone you are.
Your tears soak the blue shirt of his uniform but he doesn’t seem to care. In your current upside down position, you can’t see his expression and it scares you even more. 
You wonder what he’s thinking, why he’s doing this and, most importantly, what his plans are for you.
“Where are you taking me?” you inquire, your wavering voice dripping fear.
“It’s a surprise,” he announces, readjusting you on his shoulders.
You don’t like his tone, not one bit. It’s taunting with a sliver of resentment. 
Somehow, you pissed him off at the bar and he wants to make you pay for it. Punish you for…for what exactly? It eludes you. All you did was dance with some guy and Coriolanus saw red.
You knew the peacekeeper was strange, but this is a step beyond that. He stole you. In public. It’s insane, deranged.
Lights finally pierce through the veil of the night, twinkling through the hazy obscurity. A faint shred of hope glimmers inside you. If there are people here, maybe you could shout for help, appeal to basic human decency. Back at the bar, no one would help you.
Part of you understands. This is the kind of fear the Capitol has instilled in everyone in Panem.
Still, a hint of bitterness lingers inside you. Not even Yara lifted a finger to help you. You thought she was your friend. But you suppose even that is asking for too much for someone like you. Even that is a luxury far beyond your means. 
You confine tears. You do not wish to give the peacekeeper the satisfaction of seeing you fall apart. 
He enters a building with bright lanterns scattered at its front. The smell of incense, cigarette and expensive perfume engulfs your senses, so overwhelming you can hardly breathe. A woman appears in your line of sight. She’s strikingly gorgeous. Glossy, raven curls frame her heart-shaped face and heavy makeup adorns her delicate features. She wears a low-cut red dress that must cost at least two months of your wages. 
You frown, dull remembrance tugging at your brain.
Something about her is vaguely familiar. 
Then it dawns on you, and your stomach coils in dread.
You’ve seen her before, at a bar in the northeastern part of town. She was working her charms on a man who slipped her a bag of coins before they disappeared together.
The urge to puke tickles the back of your throat. A brothel. Coriolanus has taken you to a brothel.
“Is our room ready?” he addresses the woman, impatience bleeding through his tone.
“It’s all been prepared like you asked, Mr. Snow,” she trills.
“Help me, please…” you beseech. 
She tilts her head, a wide grin unfurling on her crimson-painted lips. 
“She’s a pretty thing, your lass. Almost as pretty as you.”
Coriolanus reaches inside his pocket. The clinking of coins resonates as he drops a tiny purse in the woman’s hand.  “Don’t disturb us,” he instructs.
She grabs the purse and beams at him.
“Wasn’t planning to.” Her cheerful inflection makes your stomach sink. “Our clients’ privacy is of the utmost priority.” 
“Let me go you mon-”
The woman giggles. “She chirps an awful lot, that bird of yours.”
He heaves out a deep sigh, both weary and resigned. “She needs discipline, which is exactly why we’re here.”
His words do nothing to reassure you. You thrash again, legs flailing and hands reaching for any parts of him you can. He groans but doesn’t release you. He stomps upstairs.
Your mind runs wild as your fear grows. Soon, the blond reaches an ornate black door. He kicks it open with his boot. Once inside, he tosses you onto the canopy bed in the middle of the room. He slams the door closed and locks it. Your blood runs cold.
Without much thought, you clamber off the bed, awkwardly getting to your feet and heading straight for the door.
He grabs the back of your neck and yanks you away from the door. A strangled shout leaps from your throat.
Coriolanus peers down at you, bent in an uncomfortable position beneath him.
A look of mild annoyance decorates his handsome face.
“Still trying to run away? You never learn your lesson, pretty bird.”
“Let me go,” you croak, your pleading eyes searching for pity in his icy gaze. But you’re only greeted by contempt. Tears swell under your eyelids. “Why are you doing this to me?”
He snorts, like he can’t believe you’d ask something so ludicrous. He narrows his eyes at you, the fingers clamped around your nape squeezing harder.
“Why? Because you’ve been ungrateful,” he hisses.
Befuddlement trickles within you. “Ungrateful?”
Coriolanus’ jaw ticks.
“I help you, I save you.” A storm gathers in his enraged tone. “I do so much for you but you bat your lashes at some pathetic district scum?”
You cower beneath his accusing stare, in disbelief at what you’re hearing. Your lips clamp shut, your mouth quivering before you retaliate, “I’m district scum too.” You squint at him. “I’m district scum too so what do you even want with me, Coriolanus?”
He chuckles darkly, wrenching your head so far backwards, your neck starts singing in pain. He sinks to one knee, scrutinizing your shaking form on the floor. 
“What do I want with you?” he echoes. His hold on your neck loosens to latch around your jaw instead. His scorching blue gaze dives into yours as his voice dips, whisper-soft. “Tell me, sweet bird, am I that repulsive to you?” Puzzled, you blink. Why does he even care what you think of him? 
Your silence has him jostle your frame, as if trying to shake a reply out of you.
“Answer me,” he growls.
An hasty, breathless response tumbles out of you. “No.”
You hardly had to think, needing to simply utter the truth. Of course, Coriolanus is handsome, a feast for the eyes like a prince from a fairytale, with his smooth skin, free of any blemish, bright blue eyes and angular features. It’d be hard to deny how beautiful he is.
…But he’s not a prince, and you're not in a fairytale.
As your eyes lower, his fingers dig harshly into your cheeks.
“Look at me.” There’s a sharp edge of authority to his words. You lift your gaze, too terrified to dare divert your attention from him. He continues. “Do you find my face disgusting, my voice unbearable?” His mouth twitches. “Maybe it’s my smell. Is it atrocious?”
Tears dangle at your lashes as you mutter, “No.”
“Then why?” A blend of dismay and anger paints his features. “Why do you always run away from me? Why don’t you just let me take care of you?”
“I don’t need you. I never needed you.”
His orbs flare dangerously. You shriek as he hauls you from the floor and hurls you on the bed. 
“This is where you’re wrong. You live because of me. Your cousin lives because of me.” He begins removing the blue vest of his uniform, his motions irate and rushed. A lump nestles in your throat as you watch him zip down his pants next. “You owe me, and it’s about time you show me some gratitude.”
This time your attempt to flee is curtailed by a steely grip on your ankle. A knife-like sensation pierces your limb as he twists it cruelly. The pain knocks the wind from your lungs. You freeze and go limp over the sheets.
The blond’s forehead puckers, a contrite look flickering over his features.
“You’re making me do this. I don’t want to hurt you, but you’re making me.”
He squeezes your shoulder and forces you to sit up at the edge of the bed. The air chills around you as he tugs down his white boxers, revealing his long, thick girth, glistening at the tip. You gulp the lump in your throat.
Your fingers clasp around the end of the bed as you gape at his erect cock. The vein along the shaft seems to taunt you. Cupping the side of your face, he nudges his tip against your wobbling lips.
“Open up,” he orders. He sneers when you don’t move an inch, “So stubborn…I can’t tell if I love or hate that about you, pretty bird.”
“Please…” you mumble, your glistening eyes rising to meet his.
He purrs, lust clouding his sky blue orbs. His thumb skims over your bottom lip.
“You’re even prettier when you beg me, birdie.” His tone mellows as he offers, “Open your mouth and I’ll make sure you never want for anything.”
Your mouth remains adamantly sealed. 
Studying you, he ponders, “I’ve always found the punishment for thievery needlessly harsh.” He unleashes a dragged out, ponderous exhale. “For shame, I’m not sure your cousin will last very long here without you.” Your heart threatens to spill from your chest. A wicked, lopsided smile blooms on his lips as he fondles your cheek. “It’s a tough world, especially for a little girl all on her own, wouldn’t you say?”
Your chest collapses at his blatant threat. Even if your own fate mattered little to you, you can’t imagine Tilly fending for herself here. You’re all she has now and if she can’t rely on you, who will she be able to rely on?
Besides, she might be better now but she always had a fragile health. Someone needs to look out for her. And it has to be you.
It’s as if Coriolanus could hear every thought bouncing in your head, smugness oozing off him as he observes you. 
Your lips part slowly. Victory illuminates his features.
He pumps his shaft, excitement bouncing in his orbs.
As he pushes his tip into your mouth, a hum of pleasure vibrates in his chest. You feel it through your own body and a shudder passes through you. 
You quiver as you swirl your tongue around his leaking tip, silently wishing he’ll be quick about it. Maybe if you do it well enough, it won’t last long and he’ll leave you be.
Still, embarrassment pools in your gut. You’re letting a peacekeeper treat you like a common whore. You doubt your dignity will ever recover from this ordeal.
He grabs both sides of your face, impatient, pushing more of himself down your throat. Your mouth aches at the corners, the size of him nearly too much to bear. 
“Fuck, your mouth feels good,” he rasps, his Adam’s apple bobbing. 
He slides his entire length down your throat until it tickles the back of it. You fight your gag reflex. The salty taste of him spreads on your tongue as you choke on his cock, air flailing in your lungs. He licks his lips, gently stroking your tear-stained cheeks.
“Good girl”, he praises.
He starts fucking your mouth, bruising your throat with each forceful thrust. Tears and spit mingle around your mouth as you take him as well as you can. You grow numb, eyes half-seeing as you let him use you.
Coriolanus’s throaty moans fill the room. The echo of his blunt thrusting reaches your ears. You feel sick. 
You close your eyes, hoping to forget, but all you can see is him, hear is him, feel is him.
You wish you could climb out of your own skin.
His pounding turns more feral. Cradling the back of your head, he shoves himself more urgently inside you. His chest ripples as he grunts.
You weep, suffocating on his length. Your stifled cries join the lewd sounds he makes. Your fists tighten around the sheets as your vision dims.
His motions become sloppier as he snarls, a look of sheer bliss decorating his handsome face.
His cock twitches, his eyes rolling back. A warm stickiness glazes the inside of your mouth. A groan leaves him as ropes of him pour down your throat. When you try to pull back, he firmly keeps you there, framing your face so you can’t escape.
The excess trickles on your chin and neck.
You shudder, quaking sobs wracking your body.
A wet sound resonates when his softening cock finally exits your mouth. You inhale a wide lungful, thankful to be able to breathe again but disgusted by the bittersweet aftertaste still coating your tongue. You wish you could bleach the inside of your mouth many times over. 
He collects your tears with his thumbs, his smile growing as he basks in the sight of the mess he made on your face.
“I’m going to take such good care of you, my sweet bird,” he croons.
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You plunge your hands in the frigid water, roughly rubbing the clothes against one another. You focus on a willful beer stain that won’t come off no matter how much you try. Frustration blooms inside you as the brown lingers on the beige fabric.
You grimace. This was one of your nicer blouses. Now it’s forever ruined, tainted beyond recovery.
Yara wrings her skirt above the bucket, her attentive eyes clinging to you. When she offered to do laundry together this morning, you expected a plethora of questions. Instead, she spent the last hour mirroring your silence.
You’re grateful. While her presence soothes you, there are many topics you’d rather not broach. One in particular. A memory you went to great lengths to bury but won’t let itself be erased. You feel branded, like you don’t belong to yourself anymore.
It’s a ghastly prospect, one you have no desire to mull over too deeply. 
You’d rather focus on laundry today. Washing, rinsing, drying and repeating. The tedious routine keeps the scary thoughts at bay. At least for a little while.
“Tilly’s doing a lot better.”
Yara’s abrupt words stagger you. Your head snaps up. Your focus veers to your younger cousin. She’s sitting by the fire playing noughts and crosses with her friend. The two little girls are wrapped up in the thin lines they’re drawing with white chalk on the stone floor, concentration etched on their small features.
She has been doing better. Much better than she has the entire year, though it guts you to admit it. She can laugh, play, run and be a normal kid.
…And you have the little care packages Coriolanus has been dropping on your doorstep to thank for that.
It stuns you that he even found out where you live so easily. You thought you were careful.
Now you don’t even feel safe in your own modest home.
There is nowhere to hide from the peacekeeper.
While he hasn’t shown up in person, his presence hovers over every aspect of your life.
You live because of me.
“Yeah,” you reply tritely.
Hands going still in the water, Yara observes you for a while, hesitation wrinkling her features. 
Eventually she dips her head, averting her gaze as she mumbles, “I shouldn’t have let him take you away.”
Guilt bleeds through her tone. Sighing, you peer at her. While you resented being on your own, you’re also keenly aware there is nothing she could have done.
“It’s not your fault,” you reassure. “I’d be scared too. I am scared,”
Though sadness still glistens in her eyes, she nods.
“Did he…” She trails off, sucking in a deep breath as if to gather the courage to speak again. Her gaze meets yours head on. “D-Did he hurt you?”
Goosebumps erupt at the base of your spine, spreading outward as your mouth trembles. 
“In a way,” you answer belatedly.
Shock covers her features.
“We should tell Commander Crane…”
You scowl. “We can’t.”
Not only does the ruthless Commander of District 8 harbors little to no sympathy for anyone’s plight, he may be more concerned about your thievery charges than any misdeed carried out by one of his Peacekeepers.
Such are things in District 8. Unjust and bereft of any morsel of hope.
“But we have to do something, report him,” she insists.
Irritation nips at you. You wish she’d drop it. It’s not like anyone will come to your rescue. You’re not some damsel in distress, a precious lady from the Capitol in trouble. 
You’re no one. Some might even say district garbage.
“Yara, he’s some rich kid from the Capitol, and I’m…we’re just…” The words shrivel on your tongue, hopelessness cresting within you. “It’s best to leave it alone, trust me.”
“But…”
“It'll only get worse if I fight him,” you snap.
A puzzled expression appears on your friend’s face. “Worse in what way?”
In what way indeed? You’ve no idea how far Coriolanus Snow is willing to go to torment and toy with you. There’s a glint of madness in his blue eyes which haunts your nightmares.
You go quiet. 
You pick up the drenched blouse from the bucket of water, wringing it until your hands start to hurt. 
Yara’s soft voice rises, encouragement laced in her tone.
“Hey, I’m sure he’ll get bored at some point, move on,” she says. “I mean he has to, right?”
She smiles at you and you return it.
“Right.”
But deep inside, you’re not so sure, dire thoughts of pretty boys with devilish smiles swaying in your mind.
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