#dropping out of college to completely switch career paths

[thepartyishere]

I had a groundbreaking day finishing beast. I was so worked up over it my sister mocked me for crying so I bothered her and my mom with explanations and commentary and theories about it for like 15 min before they went to bed

[knightofameris]

ames :D it’s jules🧸!!!

woah!! i’m so glad i caught you in a (un)timely manner :D three months isn’t toooo bad of a wait, right? KWKDWK

you’re right, you never changed your URL—i don’t know what april 2023 me had going on but i am glad i’ve remembered the right one all this time! i don’t use tumblr that much anymore either but i do log on from time to time just to see what’s up!! i’m so glad you’re doing well, it makes me so happy to hear about what you’ve accomplished and what you’re excited about for the future. :)

i am so so so proud of you. i know you have talked about how your home life was never the best and to know that you have made your own life for yourself and are away from such an environment genuinely brings me so so so much joy!! AGHH ames, you deserve it. i hope you know you deserve to feel so accomplished of yourself + proud of yourself, and that i’m proud of you too! and hey, no one ever said you had to stick to one thing in life >:D so yeah if you end up switching career paths, go ahead and do it! i support you no matter what you do!

AHHHH!!! A BOYFRIEND!!!! he sounds so so so cute i hope you two are doing good now!! i love that you two can talk to each other about anything and be comfortable like that :3 and of course of course, a prerequisite for being a bf is to be able to play games and watch anime together >:3 i hope everything goes well for you two no matter what, and that you find happiness <3

i’m glad you’re doing better mentally, hun <3 burnout sucks ass and having no passions for anything definitely sucks the life out of you… but YAY! one piece!! i still…have yet….to get into it….my friends are into it + so is the guy i’m seeing right now KSMDSK should i get into it??? is this a sign?????

thank you for all the sweet words ;D my journey has definitely been a little bit … hm. crazy? than i would have wanted?

(TWs up ahead for unhealthy coping mechanisms, breakdowns, depression, anxiety, anger issues + toxic relationships. if you’re not okay with that it’s completely okay! i’ll put a TLDR at the end of where you don’t have to read too explicit stuff)

it has been an incredibly wild ride for me, even though it’s been only 9 months since i initially sent that ask. i graduated and started college late august and went through probably the absolute worst month and a half of my life; i got broken up with after a 2 year relationship, lost my entire high school friend group including my best friend, almost lost my childhood friend group, dealt with a LOT of mental health issues, and just overall was not having a very good time. to be clear, i was in the wrong in my relationship and i denied it so much of the time until it ended up kicking me in the damn ass. i dealt with a LOT of home issues/past trauma, which impacted my relationships with my pre-college friends + ex, and in the end, my breakup was the straw that broke the camel’s back. my pre-college friends dropped me with no warning and everyone from before turned their backs on me, basically. i spiraled into a depression and since i already struggled with anxiety + anger issues, it was rough, INCREDIBLY rough. it was like you were talking to a wall, almost? i would have breakdowns during the dorms and lashed out and was just coping in an incredibly unhealthy way, to the point where one night i ran off. i ended up having to have what’s called an emergency counseling session at my college with a counselor and the community director, and since then have been going to therapy.

TLDR; because of mental health issues, i lost a lot of people who meant the world to me right as college started (i.e. bf of 2 years and bestfriend). this, along with the adjusting to college life + past trauma, had me seeking therapy early october.

HOWEVER, i am doing so much better now! and i can say this confidently. i started therapy, rekindled my passions in poetry and art, focused on my academics and ended with a 4.0 for the sem, found friends who love and care for me and want to see me grow, enjoyed my first semester + got out of my comfort zone, and currently am romantically involved with someone who means so much to me! it’s been a roller coaster in getting to where i am today and i know i have so much more to work on but i’m so, so, so proud of myself. i also found myself a found family in one of my hs teachers. him and his wife figuratively took me in and care for me as if i am really their child, and i am so incredibly grateful to them for all that they’ve done to support me.

actually, the day i’m sending in this ask is the day before i move back into the dorms! i’ve been home for winter break. it’s been a lil rough again but i am excited to get back to the dorms (less excited for the actual classes…) and see everyone. i start classes monday!

so yeah, that’s about it for me!! i’m not really into haikyuu anymore or even genshin—i still think about the characters from time to time (iwaizumi hajime 27 personal athletic trainer yeahyahyeahyeahyeah) but it’s nothing too serious :P i played honkai star rail for awhile!! however once college started i haven’t really had any time to invest in those kinds to time-consuming games where you have to grind D: but i still do love all the character designs and am actually studying to hopefully be apart of the game design process one day!! so !!! WOOP WOOP !!!

OKAY THATS ACTUALLLYYY IT i swear !! hopefully we will be able to catch up again soon—it’s always nice knowing that the people you crossed paths with in life are doing well :3 thank you so much for everything once again! until next time, darling ames <3

- your lovely 🧸 :)

Okay well, uh, this is like 5 months later ASDJFLKADSJKLDASFALSKDJ I would be totally down to exchange discord if you're comfy! but up to you! I will be trying to check more <3

AWWWW thank you so much jules ;u; that's so sweet of you. Life is so strange as we get older... I know it's just going to get weirder and weirder. A lot like Haikyuu, even when reaching the end of a journey, not only do you feel a bit empty but also... relieved? Because you did it!! But also, the journey, even hard, was fun. I sure miss my friends because a lof of us have big adult jobs now so it's hard to call and text--you're always a bit exhausted at the end of the day. Watching Battle of the Garbage dump really hit me in the feels LMAOOOO. The match was fun for them but they didn't want it to end but in order for it to BE fun was because they knew it had to come to an end TT_TT

Heheh thanks!! I find that a lot of the characters I simp for all have bits and pieces of him so :3

Also, hey, that shit sounds real hard man. Thank you for sharing all of that with me, I hope that in the past 5 months it hasn't been to crazy and you've been enjoying your first year of college! I hope you've found a good therapist and I hope, no I know, you will find friends who will stick with you through thick and thin. And whoever your partner is is lucky to be with you. Honestly, I don't really, and haven't really, have a friend group anymore. Maybe it's because America has the lack of a third place, the lack of walkable cities except during university (if you lived on campus), and a bunch of other things. But we gotta work with what we got and sometimes just having different friends in different parts of your life is okay, you don't always need to bring them all together for that "friend group" because it's just not always like that. And I spend time with my boyfriend's kinda friend group (more like a discord server where anyone who joins will join and it's the same people who do) and yeah I know them and they know me but I also know they would not be good REAL friends. LMAO.

I'm glad you're doing so much better! Therapy is so good and helpful and also props to you for getting a 4.0... that shits hard. And I hope you're enjoying the time with the person you're romantically involved with! heheh. Also that's so sweet of your former HS teacher! Goals, honestly. (On that note, I have a contracted teaching job as a physics HS teacher now WAHOOOOO, I long term-subbed an English class for all of second semester and that shit was hard cus these kids had two teachers quit on them and multiple long term subs lmao so they were pretty disheartened until i stuck it out)

I hope you enjoyed your second semester in the dorms!!!

I get like random spurts of haikyuu obsession... and then it's off. I actually got back into genshin now! LMAO I started playing the main quest, and it just got me hooked. Since it's summer and I already have a job set out I've been relaxing tbh so I started playing again since I got bored... Trying to work out though cus I have no muscle and I should take care of my body LMAOOO

Also valid! I feel like I would try to play games and shit during school as a student but there was always so much to do. Now, I have so much free time heheh.

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOUR WORK WHEN YOU GO INTO GAME DESIGN OMGGGGG, imagine i play one of your games in the future...

Yes! I totally get it, I'm glad you're doing well, I hope you've been doing well as well ;u;

[vngelacademia]

I PASSED MED-SURG 2!

I DID IT GUYS!

I officially passed Med-Surg 2 with a B! It’s my first B so far in the program, but I’m happy it ended up being one of my actual nursing courses and that I was able to keep straight A’s as an underclassman. In high school, I was consistently in honor and AP courses, alongside community college courses, so maintaining A’s was a struggle. I still ended up in the first decile of my class, Ranked #7, with mostly A’s and a few B’s to show for it.

This was a very challenging class for me, but it was necessary in order to get me into the critical thinking mindset of a nurse and how to recognize my priorities. I hope that this class benefits me during the NCLEX, but we’ll see in 2024!

I was really worried about my performance in this class, as I had several life-changing events in the last six months that genuinely made me reconsider nursing and had me thinking about dropping out/switching my career path. I was worried about being deferred a semester if I earned less than a C+ (requirement to pass a nursing course in my program), so I was really proud of myself to maintain a B at the very least.

On the plus side, it doesn’t dent my GPA too harshly, so I get to keep my scholarship and Dean’s List award!

I cared more about my grade in the class instead of learning and applying the material. I ended up getting COVID soon after Halloweekend, and I had a nervous breakdown about my performance in this class. On the plus side, I passed, and I managed to make it this far.

I officially have three semesters left to go! Two semesters of clinicals, and one semester of preceptorship/passing the exit exam. Sooner or later, I’ll be taking the NCLEX and applying to new-grad positions.

My junior year is already halfway complete. I hope that the next semester will be fulfilling, exciting, challenging, and better for me overall.

Stay tuned~

[tobesolonely]

kindergarten teachers

summary: teacher!harry and coworker y/n have a hard time coming to terms with their feelings for each other

a/n: ahhh she’s finally done! i’ve been working on this fic for sooo long and i hope u all like it! big thanks to @queencharry​ for helping me when i got stuck and beta reading, and @behindthatbabyface​ for beta reading as well and giving me feedback!! i appreciate u both <3 enjoy ~11.3k words of some mutual pining and teacher!h interacting with lil kindergarteners 🥺also i am sorry if theres any major grammar mistakes (as always) or crazy typos, i always miss some things when i go back and proofread that im sure i’ll catch later! thank u

warnings: smut, mentions of alcohol 

talk to me about harry and y/n! let me know your thoughts!!

my ko-fi! thank you :)

From the time you were very young, you knew you wanted to be a teacher. One of your earliest childhood memories was going to school dressed up as one for career day. Your usually untamed hair was pulled back into a sleek bun (courtesy of your mother), and you donned a funky baby-pink sweater. For bottoms, you wore the closest thing to a pencil skirt you had in your five-year-old wardrobe. When you look back on the photographs your mother took of you that day, you did not resemble a teacher in any way. You were sure if you had not done your Career Day presentation in front of the whole class, no one would have even known who you were dressed up as.

Once you moved onto college and declared Education as a major, that was when people really started to let you hear their opinions on the career path you wanted to pursue. It seemed like whenever you went home for a holiday, relatives were always in your ear saying, “You know teachers don’t make a lot of money, right? Have you ever considered something in the sciences?”. You always responded, “I know, but what would the world do without teachers?”.

Eventually, you finished your undergraduate career, successfully completed student teaching with the highest praise from your superiors and colleagues, obtained your teaching credentials, and even went back to school to get your Master’s degree. So, it was much to everyone’s surprise when you settled on being a Kindergarten teacher. People assumed that because you completed so much schooling, you wanted to be a university professor. However, the thought never even crossed your mind. You always thought Kindergarten teachers were the most impressionable people out there and knew you wanted to be one.

To you, there was no greater responsibility than that of a Kindergarten teacher. It was your responsibility to teach your students reading, writing, art, and music at the most basic level. You showed them how to play with others, how to be kind, and give them the tools necessary to succeed once they leave your classroom. You were the first teacher your students ever had, so you needed to make them fall in love with school instead of hate it, considering they’d have to stick to it until they were at least eighteen. 

You’ve been a credentialed Kindergarten teacher for the last three years, and you’ve loved every moment of it. You were one of the younger teachers at school, but you never felt left out. Your colleagues were amazing people who often shared tips and tricks they wish they knew when they first started teaching.

Now, you were groggily unlocking the door to your classroom, feeling those first-day-of-school jitters you always felt. You knew kindergarteners weren’t there to harshly critique you. Still, you wanted them to go home and tell their parents about how excited they were to have you as a teacher, not run home in tears. That never happened, of course, but you didn’t want to take any chances. You drop your keys and mutter a quiet, “Shit!” setting your travel mug filled with coffee on the ground and readjust the box of donuts you had for your kids on your hip. As you reach for your keys, you hear a deep voice ask if you need help. You quickly turn around, eyes wide from being startled.

“Oh! You scared me,” you place your free hand over your chest. “But yeah, actually, that’d be great. I’m struggling to get my door open.” The man nods, his own keys he wore around his neck jangling as he retrieves first your keys, then your coffee mug.

“I’m Harry– Mr. Styles, if you want,” he holds your keys out for you to take, your coffee mug still in his large hands. “Uh, I’m the new Kindergarten teacher.” You give him a confused look and trade the box of donuts in your arms for your keys, opening the door. “The last one, Mrs. Brown, I think it was, I guess she decided a few weeks back that she wanted to retire.” You get your door open and walk inside your classroom, turning on the lights. It was a little stuffy, considering you hadn’t been there to open any windows in about a month.

“Oh, that’s right! Welcome,” you give him a warm smile. “I’m Y/N– Miss Y/L/N if you want.” A slight blush appears on his cheeks. “We’re gonna be working together then, it seems. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Mrs. Brown, but it’ll be nice to collaborate with someone closer to my age, you know?” Harry nods, and you realize he still had your coffee mug and box of donuts in his hands. “You can just set that on my desk, thanks for helping out. Would you like a donut?”

“Um, I- it’s okay,” he stammers, setting the items down. “Sorry, it’s just that I’ll probably crash if I have a donut first thing in the mornin’.” You smile at him and move to open all your windows and the back door, wanting the stuffy classroom to air out a bit before the children got here. 

“I totally get that,” you giggle, walking back over to your desk. “Are you excited about the first day? I always get a little nervous. I also talk a lot when I’m nervous, I’m sure you caught onto that.” 

For the first time that morning, Harry laughs. “Yeah, I’m nervous, too. ’ve never taught in the States before, so this is a bit new to me.” He’s playing with the keys hanging from his lanyard. 

“I noticed you had an accent, but I didn’t know if it was weird to ask about it. What brings you to California?” You open the box of donuts and take one out, wanting to eat it before it gets cold, and the glaze hardens.

“Uh, I went to University here, but when I graduated, I decided to go back home and teach for a couple of years. I really missed being here though and wanted to come back, so I got my credentials, and uh, here I am,” he tells you with a grin, and you notice he has deep dimples. 

“Well, we’re glad you’re here,” you tell him earnestly. “The kids are just gonna love your accent, too!” you joke and Harry laughs for the second time that day. 

“If all else fails, ’m hopin’ to charm everyone over with my accent,” he stares at you for a moment before speaking again. “Well, I better finish getting situated. It’s fifteen til, and I reckon the children will be arriving soon, yeah?” He asks. You nod. 

“Best to be waiting at parent drop-off too, there are always a few parents that are just as nervous as their babies, if not more, and could use a quick pep talk.”

“Thanks for lettin’ me know. I was thinking about standing out there anyway, just to make a good first impression.” You take another bite of your donut, giving him a thumbs up. 

“You’ve got this, Harry. I know you’re not completely clueless since you’ve taught before, but I know the first day can be a little intimidating. You know where I am if you need anything.” He gives you a grateful smile, quietly thanking you before turning to walk out the door. You’re left thinking about your new coworker, only being pulled from your thoughts of him when the first bell rings.

“Good morning everyone, my name is Miss Y/L/N. Are you all excited to get this school year started?” A chorus of high-pitched yeses fills the room, and you smile warmly at your class. “I’m so excited that you’re all here! I have a little surprise for each of you!” You grab the box of donuts and walk back to the rug in the center of the room that the children usually sat on for storytime. Little gasps fill your ears, and they all say, “Donuts!” and “Yummy!”. You smile at the kids again, already feeling overwhelmed with how adorable they were. 

“We all get a donut?” one little girl asks, her eyes wide. You nod at her.

“Of course! Everyone will get a donut, sweetie.” You move to get the plastic food gloves you kept so you can safely hand out a donut to everyone. “Okay guys, I’m going to pass a stack of napkins around the room. Take one and pass the stack to the person sitting next to you. Does that make sense?” All the students nod their heads in confirmation, so you grab a stack and hand them to the child sitting closest to you. “Once the last person has their napkin, let me know, and then it’ll be donut time!” You say this over-enthusiastically, and the children squirm in their seats in excitement.

As you go around handing out donuts to each of your students, you learn their names and ask them to tell you one fun fact about them. Most children say things like, “I have a brother/sister!” or “I can run really fast!”, and you find it absolutely adorable. One thing you loved the most about teaching five-year-olds was their ability to think everything was cool. It was comforting to know that no matter what you did, they’d find you cool, and your first-day jitters quickly dissipated. As the children eat their donuts, you read them a story, putting on different voices for all the various characters. You show them how to raise their hand when they have something they’d like to share and remind them to use their “listening ears” when you or one of their classmates are speaking.

When it’s time for recess, you show them how to line up quietly at the door, and assign a line leader and a hall monitor. You remind the children that they will all get a turn at these tasks eventually because it’ll switch every week, and not to worry. As you’re walking down the hall backward (one of your teachers walks that you’d finally perfected), you hear Harry’s voice.

“Okay Room Ten, we’re gonna go out to the playground now, where you all will get to play every recess and lunch. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it?” He asks them, and you hear little voices chattering out to him in excitement. You can’t help but peek into his classroom as you walked by, as his door was open. He didn’t see you because he was busy organizing his class into a straight line, so you keep going. Your class, who, much to your surprise, was walking very quietly, got loud once they saw the Kindergarten play area had a slide and monkey bars.

“We get to play on this?” one of your students, Destiny, questions. 

“Yup! This is a pretty cool play area, isn’t it?” They nod and stare at you, waiting for direction. “Oh, you can all go play and run around, get some of that energy out. When the bell rings, though, I want you to listen to the yard teachers because they’re gonna help get you all lined back up so we can go back inside. Deal?” The children give you nods and thumbs up, and you grin at them, telling them to have fun and be nice to one another. As you’re turning to go to the teacher’s lounge to refill your mug of coffee, you see Harry walking down the hallway with his class, and decide to wait for him. He gives his class the same spiel you gave yours and tells them to “Treat each other with kindness” before noticing you waiting for him.

“Hey,” he gives you a grin, looking far more relaxed than he did when you saw him earlier that morning. “How’s it going so far?”

“It’s great,” you reply, leading him in the direction of the teacher’s lounge. “They’re all adorable.”

“Yeah, don’t know what I was so nervous fo’. They’re great. Also, you’re right,” Harry has an amused look on his face. “The first thirty minutes of ’em bein’ there was just them askin’ me to say things because they think I sound funny.” 

“I told you!” you exclaim, laughing at him. “A British accent is definitely not something we hear every day, not here at least.”

“I figured,” he replies, and silence falls between you. “Where are we going, by the way?”

You stop in front of a blue door and sift through the keys on your lanyard, finally finding the one you were looking for. “Teacher’s lounge. Have you had the chance to check it out yet?” He shakes his head, and you pull open the door after having unlocked it. “After you.” He shakes his head and steps back, signaling you go ahead of him. You quirk an eyebrow at him, and he gives you a defensive look.

“What? ‘M a gentleman. Ladies first,” he insists, holding the door open. You walk inside the room, trying to refrain from rolling your eyes. There aren’t many teachers in the lounge. You figure they all must be in their classrooms, trying to do some last-minute organization and lesson planning amidst the first day of school chaos. However, a few colleagues that you’re rather fond of are in the room, so you take it upon yourself to introduce them to Harry.

“Hello everyone, I hope you’re all having a relaxing morning!” They chuckle lightly at your sarcasm. “I’d like you all to meet Mr. Harry Styles. He’s the new Kindergarten teacher that took Mrs. Brown’s place.” A look of realization washes over all three teachers’ faces, and they warmly greet him. Harry goes around, shaking each of their hands, voice dripping with charm.

“Lovely to meet you all. Looking forward to collaborating,” he tells them quietly. They begin engaging in polite conversation, so you leave Harry’s side, walking over to the coffee station to get what you came for before recess was over. He joins you shortly after, grabbing a disposable cup. “They were a nice bunch.” He mutters, pouring the steaming coffee into his cup. You hum in agreement.

“Everyone here is nice. The lounge is usually much more crowded than this. Everyone else must be in their rooms,” you flick your wrist up to check the time. “We got some time to sit down and breathe for a bit if you’d like? Unless you wanted to get back to your room.”

“‘M in no rush, trust me,” he tells you, flashing you a small smile. “Let’s take a seat.” Harry walks over to an unoccupied couch and sits down slowly, taking care not to spill his coffee. 

“You didn’t want a lid?” you question when you see him struggling. He shrugs.

“Not necessary. Jus’ some extra plastic,” you hum and look down at your lap. You were quickly learning that Harry was not a big talker, and he liked to get his point across in as few words as possible. Him being a Kindergarten teacher contradicted heavily with his rather bashful demeanor, but that just made him all the more endearing to you.

“Do you live nearby, or is your commute long?” you ask him after a few moments of silence. As soon as you ask the question, you internally cringe, feeling like it was too invasive. If Harry thought the question was weird, he doesn’t show it.

“I live in town. I actually walked here today, believe it or not,” he tells you with a chuckle. “Was such a beautiful morning that I figured I should.” Every time you think Harry can’t possibly get any more captivating, he does, and you find yourself biting back a smile.

“How long is your walk?” You cross your legs and then uncross them, a nervous habit that you had. Harry takes a sip of coffee, mulling your question over.

“I’d say it took me about twenty minutes. I was walkin’ at a pretty leisurely pace, though,” Harry shrugs. “How about you? Do you live nearby?”

“I also live in town, but I’m way too lazy to walk, so props to you,” you smile. “The best thing about living around here is seeing your kids out in public. It’s the cutest thing.” Harry smiles, not saying anything else. A silence falls over the two of you again but instead of feeling the need to fill it, you just sit beside him, drinking your coffee. Your mind wanders off to what you were going to do for the rest of the school day, if you had enough groceries in your apartment for dinner or if you should go grocery shopping after work, and if you remembered to pay your bills on time. The bell rings to signify the end of recess, and you jump slightly.

“Ready to go back?” Harry asks, standing up and walking back over to the coffee station. “Think’m gonna get a bit more.” You go to stand by the door, waiting for him to pour another cup of coffee. He quickly rejoins you, and the coffee sloshes a bit, some getting on his hand, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Hope those lil’ buggers got some of their energy out.”

“Right! Mine was even more hyper than they probably would’ve been ’cause I gave them those donuts this morning,” you laugh. “So, for my sake, I hope so too.” When you and Harry arrive back at the Kindergarten play area, your classes are already lined up quietly awaiting instruction, thanks to the yard teachers. You and Harry both thank them and move to stand in front of your kids. 

“Miss Y/L/N,” one of your children calls out from the back of the line. “Can we get more donuts when we go back inside?” You see Harry smile out of the corner of your eye as he’s giving instruction to his class.

“There are no more donuts, you guys ate them all! I have something even cooler than donuts planned for us, though, okay? Now, remember what I told you all about walking quietly, right? Mr. Line Leader, how does your line look? Do you think we’re all set to go back inside?” The child you appointed line leader turns around to look at everyone, occasionally shushing some people. After a few moments, he turns back to you, giving you a thumbs up. 

Harry moves to stand beside you, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Wanna eat lunch together and do some planning? I feel like it would be a good idea for us to be teachin’ the same things, more or less.” Your body feels warm all over, and you just look at him and nod, not trusting yourself to speak. Harry smiles and places a hand on your shoulder. At a normal volume, he says, “See you then, Miss Y/L/N.” 

Upon entering Harry’s room, you’re immediately met with the scent of vanilla and the loud hum of the air conditioning. It was bright, adorably decorated, and surprisingly decluttered. It was the polar opposite of your room, and you found it very welcoming and comforting. “Nice set-up you’ve got going on in here,” you tell him. He jumps in his seat at his desk, not having heard you come in.

“Fucks sake,” he mumbles, face going red. “You scared me. Thanks, though. My sister helped me decorate, I don’t really have an eye for this type of stuff.” He rubs the back of his neck, sheepishly. 

“Well, if you ever need any help decorating for back to school and your sister isn’t around, I’d be more than happy to help.” Harry smiles and suddenly gets up from his chair, offering it to you.

“Please, take my seat. I’ll just sit in one of the kids’ chairs,” he rolls it towards you, and you shake your head, about to object, but he interrupts you. “It’s okay, Y/N. Their chairs aren’t that bad.” You take the seat Harry was just in, mumbling a quiet thank you. He hums and pulls a tiny chair up beside you, legs scraping loudly across the floor. When he sits down in it, you can’t but burst out laughing.

“Harry, that chair is so tiny! Are you sure you don’t want me to sit there instead? You look so uncomfortable,” you tell him in between laughs. “This is your classroom, after all, I’m just a guest.” Harry shakes his head, cheeks flushed.

“It’s okay, Y/N, really. ‘M perfectly comfortable in this lil’ miniature chair,” he looks at the lunch bag you sat on his desk. “What’s for lunch?” You reach for your sack and unzip it, pulling out a pre-packaged salad from Trader Joe’s.

“I’m very lazy when it comes to packing my lunches,” you admit sheepishly, pulling out a fork. “How about you? Did you eat already?”

“Oh yeah, I had a green smoothie. Not a big lunch guy,” he replies calmly. “Wanna get started with planning? I think we only have about thirty minutes left.” He looks down at his watch to confirm the time. Harry opens his planner, and you see pages filled with his neat, blocky scrawl. He jumps right into talking about the ideas he had in mind, excitement filling his voice that you haven’t yet heard. 

The passion and enthusiasm he has for teaching are evident through the way he tells you about the activities he has planned, new materials and teaching methods he wants to try implementing, and things he’s tried before that didn’t work out the way he wanted them to. He asks you for your advice and listens intently when you speak, jotting down notes.

You find yourself having to mentally remind yourself not to stare at him. He was a handsome man– there was no denying that. He had curly brown hair, soft and wild-looking, the most beautiful green eyes you’d ever seen, and arms covered in tattoos. You also noticed he had the tiniest cross on his left hand. You wanted to ask him about it, but you figured that was a conversation for another time. 

“Y/N? Did you hear what I just said,” Harry asks, giving you a concerned look. “Are you alright? I think you just zoned out for a couple minutes or somethin’.” You nod quickly, feeling your palms growing sweaty.

“Oh yeah, sorry, I was just thinking about something I have to do later. What did you just say?” You play off how you were just wholly drooling over your new coworker, feeling scrutinized under his piercing gaze.

“Jus’ got an email from the principal. Said we have a faculty meetin’ after school at three. Wanna go together?” He asks. You know Harry’s asking you to accompany him primarily because you’re the only person he really knows so far. However, it still makes you feel warm and special. “He said we’re gonna go over some planning for the Fall Festival. What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s just the back-to-school festival. It’s adorable,” you explain. “It’s like a mini carnival that we have right here on the playground. Every year they have teachers host booths. It’s a great way to get to meet your kids’ parents and bond with the other faculty.” Harry nods, standing up from the tiny chair right as the bell signifying the end of lunch rings.

“That sounds lovely,” he chirps, smiling down at you. “We’re gonna have the best booth out of everyone Y/N, trust me.” He jokes, the corner of his eyes crinkling. This was the most Harry had talked since you met him that morning and you were enjoying witnessing him open up to you more and more with each conversation shared.

“It is,” you stand up as well, gathering your trash and empty lunch pail. “Thanks for having me, Harry. Next time we can meet in my room. I wouldn’t mind making this a daily thing.” As soon as the words came out of your mouth, you physically wince, figuring Harry had to think you were obsessed with him at this point. He looks down, the corners of his mouth upturned when he makes eye contact with you again.

“I’d like that, Y/N. I’ll actually start bringin’ a proper lunch, so you’re not the only one eating,” you smile. “I’ll meet you in your room after school?” You nod in confirmation, walking out the door in front of him. 

“See ya later.”

“Did everyone have a good day today?” You ask your class, walking backward to the dismissal gate. You’re met with a chorus of cheerful sounding ‘yeses,’ and you place your hand over your heart in a dramatic fashion. “That makes me so happy, everyone! You’re all incredible little people, and I think we’re gonna have a fantastic year. What do you guys think?” The children chatter excitedly, glad to have made it through their first day of school and see their parents on the other side of the gate eagerly awaiting them, cell phones snapping pictures. 

Harry’s already at the gate, waiting for the bell to ring so he can dismiss his class. He’s walking down the line asking each of the children if they see who they’re supposed to go home with, crouching down to their height so they can point them out to him. Some children in his class look a little upset because they don’t see their parents yet. Harry quickly consoles them, telling them they can all play a fun game together while they wait for their ‘Mummies and Daddies.’

You do the same with your kids, and by the time the bell rings and you finish dismissing the ones who saw someone there to pick them up, there was one child from your class who was still waiting and two from Harry’s. He walks over to you, one of their tiny hands in each of his. The boy looks unbothered, but the girl was beginning to cry.

“Hey, Ava, should we ask Miss Y/L/N and her friend if they want to play iSpy with us? The more, the merrier, isn’t that right?” He looks down at her, and she nods, looking down. You figure she’s one of his more shy students he was telling you about earlier.

“Hi, sweetie! I’m Miss Y/L/N, are you waiting for your mom or dad?” She nods, biting her lip. You turn and gesture to your one student who was waiting as well. “Well, so is she! Don’t worry, they’ll be here.”

“I’m Matthew,” the little boy holding Harry’s other hand informs you, shifting from foot to foot. You give him a big smile.

“Hello, Matthew! I love your Spiderman shirt; he’s just the coolest. Jade, do you want to introduce yourself to Mr. Styles, Ava, and Matthew? Remember when we learned about introductions today in class? When you got to introduce yourself to all your classmates?”

Jade nods, a big, toothy grin on her face. “Hi! My name is Jade, and I am five-years-old but my birthday is September 19th, so I’m actually almost six-years-old,” she tells them matter-of-factly. “It’s very nice to meet you!” She adds, remembering the script you gave them earlier. Harry looks down at her, an impressed look on his face.

“Well, it is very lovely to meet you too, Jade! Do we all know how to play iSpy?” Jade and Matthew shout in excitement, but Ava just grips tighter onto Harry’s hand. He looks down at her again. “Do y’ want Miss Y/L/N and I to show you how to play, Ava?” His voice is very quiet, slow, and soothing. She nods, letting go of his hand.

“Well Ava,” you say, looking around for something to start the game out with. “I would say, “I spy with my little eye something green. Then you, Mr. Styles, Matthew, and Jade, would have to look around and name out everything that’s green. If you name something and it’s not it, then I will tell you nope, and you can try again, but if you figure it out, then you’re the winner! Does that make sense?”

She nods, and you see a gleam of excitement in her eyes. “Can I go first?” She asks quietly. You tell her, yes, and she looks around quickly, trying to find something to say. “I spy with my little eye something blue!” She has a triumphant smile on her face, and even though you immediately know she’s talking about the sky and you’re sure Harry does too, you both decide to take a step back and let the children take the game into their own hands.

“Y’know, that lil’ introduction Jade gave was really somethin’. I didn’t even think about teachin’ my kids that. Think I’ll try that out tomorrow,” Harry whispers, craning his neck slightly to be at your ear. You shiver at the feeling of his warm breath against your skin. 

“Yeah, I feel like that’s always a good first day of school activity for them to do. A lot of them have never really been exposed to people outside of their immediate family, so they’re not too sure how to talk to others.” Harry hums, standing back up straight.

“Mr. Styles,” Matthew calls, running over to Harry. “My mommy is here. Can I go now?” Harry nods, telling Matthew to wait for him so he can say hi to his mother. You watch as he walks away, overhearing as he tells the boy’s mother what a great job he did today and how he’s so excited to go through this school year with him in his class. Ten minutes later, Jade and Ava are gone as well, and Harry locks the dismissal gate. 

“I forgot how exhausting the first day could be,” he tells you, letting out a quiet sigh. “Ready to go to that meeting, though? It’s just about three.” You check your watch and see the time read at 2:57 PM.

“Yeah, just let me grab my bag, and we can head over there. I’m really hoping this won’t take too long; I was planning on going grocery shopping after this,” you walk down the hall towards your classroom and feel Harry’s gaze on you.

“Where do you like to go grocery shopping?” he asks after a few moments of silence. “I need to pick up some groceries this week, too. ’ve been eatin’ takeout for the past week, and I’m starting to feel like shit.” You laugh, unlocking your door. Harry stands outside, holding it open while you grab your purse and lunch bag.

“Honestly, I don’t have a preference. I switch it up a lot,” you shrug, making sure all the windows are closed before walking out. “Was there something, in particular, you were looking for?”

“Uh,” Harry scratches the back of his head. “No? Maybe you could text me a list of all your favorite stores, though. Jus’ so I won’t forget.”

You quirk an eyebrow at him, ignoring how fast your heart was beating. “Are you asking for my number, Mr. Styles?”

“I guess I am,” he replies nonchalantly. “We’re gonna be workin’ together a lot. Might as well have your number– if that’s okay, I mean.” He looks down at you.

“Yeah, remind me after the meeting,” you tell him, trying your hardest to play it cool. “Don’t let me forget.”

“Trust me, I won’t.”

“So Y/N and Harry, you two will be in charge of the pumpkin decorating booth? Is that right?” The principal looks down at his notes and then shifts his gaze between the both of you. You both nod.

“Yeah, I’m excited! I think it’ll be a lot of fun,” you reply excitedly. “We can go to the craft store and get a bunch of paints, but where do you think the best place to get the pumpkins would be?” You pull out your planner, ready to jot down any suggestions.

“You two could try going to a pumpkin patch? They’re starting to pop-up around town,” one teacher suggests. “I’m sure if you purchased a bunch and told them it was for a school event, we could get some kind of deal.” The rest of the faculty buzzes in agreement.

“Y/N and Harry, could you get to a pumpkin patch sometimes this week and see if they can give us an estimate of how much it would cost? Then I could let the PTA know.” You and Harry confirm that it will be possible to do sometime this week, and the meeting continues on.

By the time you’re finally free to leave the meeting, it’s already growing dark outside. Harry’s hands are shoved in his pockets, and he’s looking down at his feet. “So–”

“Do you want–”

You both stop, laughing awkwardly. “You go first.” you tighten the grip on your purse.

“Uh, I was jus’ gonna ask if I could get your number now. Yanno, so we can plan when we’re gonna go get all the stuff for our booth? And you still gotta tell me what your favorite grocery stores are,” he has a playful look in his eyes. For the thousandth time that day, your hands become clammy. There was just something about every interaction you had with him that made you so nervous. 

“Oh yeah,” you answer coolly, digging in your purse for your phone. “Just text your number, so I have it.” You hand him his phone, and he stops dead in his tracks, a look of concentration on his face. 

“I can’t walk and be on the phone at the same time,” he mutters when he looks back up and realizes you were watching him the whole time. “I don’t know how people do it.” He hands you back your phone. “What were y’ gonna ask me?”

“I was just um, I was gonna ask if you wanted me to give you a ride home? I mean, since you walked to work today and it’ll be dark soon,” talking to Harry made you feel like a nervous school girl interacting with her first crush, and you hated that feeling.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that–”

“It’s no bother, really,” you cut him off, and you realize you sound a little eager, but at that point, you didn’t even care. “I’m sure we don’t live too far from each other.” Harry looks slightly unsure but nods, and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

“If you’re sure, Y/N. I appreciate it, I owe you one,” he’s following behind you to the teacher parking lot. You silently pray your car isn’t messy inside like it usually is as you approach it. You decide to pick up your pace and walk ahead of him, telling yourself if the passenger side was messy, you’d just quickly throw everything in the back. “Heyyyy, why’re you walkin’ so fast? Are you sure you’ve got the time to take me home?” He takes a few big strides and quickly catches up with your hurried, tiny ones.

“Yeah, of course, I have time,” you respond, unlocking your car as you approach it. “If it’s messy, then just ignore it.” you preface, honestly not remembering the state in which you left your car this morning when you walked into work.

“Don’t worry about it. You should see mine,” Harry jokes, and it immediately puts you at ease. As you’re about to open your door, Harry quickly rushes to your side, opening it himself. “Let me.” 

His hand rests over yours, and you quickly pull it away, your body heating up. “Harry, I’m already right here. I can open my own car door.” 

“I know you can. But I’m a gentle—“ 

“You’re a gentleman, I know,” you playfully roll your eyes and take a step back, allowing Harry to open your car door all the way. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t flattered and honestly a little bit turned on. He flashes you a smile as you situate yourself behind the wheel of the car and makes sure you’re all the way in before slamming it shut. You see him lightly jog around to the passenger side, and soon enough, he’s beside you, your car immediately starting to smell like his cologne. 

“What music do you like to listen to?” Harry asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“You ask me a lot of random questions, Harry,” you reply, looking behind you as you slowly back out. 

“Is it a crime to wanna get to know my new coworker?” you can hear a smile in his voice. “C’mon. What’s your favorite music to listen to?” 

You shrug, looking both ways before exiting the parking lot. “Where do you live?” 

“I don’t know my address yet. Just take a left at this light coming up. Favorite music?” Out of the corner of his eye, you see him scrolling through his music library. 

“You don’t know your address yet?” 

“No. I’ll play something random,” he says, tapping his hand on his knee. “You can take a right at that stop sign up there.” You put on your blinker and glance over your shoulder before switching lanes. Harry quickly pairs his phone with your Bluetooth, and a song you’re unfamiliar with blares through your speakers. Neither one of you says anything else, only speaking to each other when he’s giving you directions to his house, and you’re confirming what he said.

After two more songs, Harry says, ��S’right up here.” He’s led you to a beautiful apartment complex— one you were looking at when you were moving out of your parent’s home but just couldn’t afford as a new graduate. You expertly parallel park and then turn the car off, a silence falling between the two of you.

“This is a nice complex,” you tell him after a moment. “Really close to school. I see why you opted to walk to work today.” 

“Mhm,” he hums. His seatbelt is still fastened. “I understand if you’re busy, but did you wanna come in?” You raise an eyebrow at him, and he quickly backtracks. “I mean— it’s just— remember the activity you taught your kids today? About introductions? Jus’ wanted to know if you could walk me through it, that’s all.” 

“Oh. Well yeah, I can hang out for a bit.” You unbuckle your seatbelt and reach in the backseat for your purse that you threw haphazardly over your shoulder earlier. 

“Will your boyfriend be okay with you coming in, though?” He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“What makes you think I have a boyfriend?” You’re slightly taken aback and oddly flattered that he thought you were in a relationship.

“I dunno,” his face grows red. “You got all weird when I opened doors for ya. Figured you had a boyfriend.”

“I don’t.”

“Cool.” More silence falls, this time an awkward one.

“Should we go inside now?” you unlock the doors, quickly getting out of the car. Harry follows behind you and waits for you to walk onto the sidewalk before going up the walkway.

“How close do you live to me?” Harry asks, punching in his gate code. He pulls the gate open and gestures for you to go ahead of him. You decide not to comment on it this time.

“A couple blocks away. I could probably walk over here if I was in the mood to,” Harry shuts the gate behind you and walks over to the first set of stairs, taking them two at a time. “I was interested in this complex when I was moving out of my parents’ but I settled on something else.” He hums, stopping in front of the first door at the top of the stairs. There’s a brown ‘Welcome!’ mat outside his door, along with a few potted plants.

“Here we are,” he looks over his shoulder as if he’s checking if you’re still there. “Excuse the boxes. ‘M not done unpacking yet.” He pushes open the door and steps in, quickly turning on the light. You’re met with the same sweet scent of vanilla that’s in his classroom. Considering he was in the process of unpacking, his apartment was reasonably tidy.

“It looks good in here,” your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. You were in your coworker’s house that you just met that day, and you could already feel yourself developing a crush on him. There was obviously no way you’d let this relationship progress past anything strictly professional, but that didn’t mean you weren’t allowed to admire his beauty.

“Thanks,” he gives you a smile, relief washing over his face. “You can set your bag down if you want. Take a seat, make yourself at home.” He leaves the room, and you hear him rattling around in the kitchen. “Can I get you anything to drink? Wine? Coffee? Tea?”

“Coffee sounds great,” you reply. You set your purse down on his coffee table and sit on the edge of his couch, inspecting his living room closer. There were two books on the table, both flipped upside down as a way to mark his page. There were a few more plants inside, similar to the ones in front of his door. There was a framed picture of him with two beautiful women you assumed to be his mother and sister. Harry comes back into the room a few minutes later, two steaming cups of black coffee in hand.

“Here you are, Miss Y/L/N,” he puts on an exaggerated posh accent, and you giggle.

“Why thank you, Mr. Styles,” you respond in the same voice. “Do you have cream and sugar?”

He wrinkles his nose. “I think I might have sugar. Is oat milk, okay? I don’t have cream.” He goes back to his kitchen to retrieve the items before you can tell him it’s okay, and you’ll just drink it black. You thank him, pouring the tiniest splash of oat milk into your coffee. You can feel his eyes on you as you add a bit of sugar, stir, taste, and then add some more.

“So,” you begin after your coffee is made to your liking. “What did you think about your first day? You can be honest since we’re not on campus anymore.” Harry laughs, looking down at his fingernails.

“Uh,” he starts. You notice he says, ‘uh’ a lot. “It was terrific. Not so sure I would’ve felt the same way if I didn’t have you to help me through it.” 

“We’re partners in crime now, Harry. We’re the two Kindergarten teachers, and you’re the only other person there my age? We’ve definitely gotta stick together,” you give him a big smile. He doesn’t smile back but looks a bit troubled instead. You wait for him to speak, coming to accept that long pauses were just a thing when having a conversation with Harry.

“Y’know how I assumed you had a boyfriend earlier? I thought after I’d said that–– rather I hoped after I said that you’d be like,” he clears his throat. “‘Why, no! I don’t have a boyfriend. Do you have a girlfriend?’” He put on the worst American accent you’d ever heard to imitate your voice, causing you to laugh. “To which I would’ve replied with a simple ‘no.’” 

Now it’s your turn to leave Harry wondering what you’re thinking for the first time all day. You can feel his eyes on you as you look at his couch cushions, noticing a bit of crumbs that you hadn’t seen before. “Are you flirting with me?”

“I think you’re beautiful.”

“You don’t even know me. We just met today.”

“Does that mean I can’t think you’re beautiful?”

You bite your lip, feeling yourself starting to grow a bit turned on by his forwardness. There was a part of you that would risk it all for just one night in bed with Harry because you just found him that attractive. The rational, adult side of you was screaming, ‘Don’t mix business with pleasure!’. By now, you had both moved closer on the couch to one another, knees nearly touching. “I think you’re beautiful, too.” He grins, setting his coffee cup down. You do the same.

“Would it be crazy of me to tell you that I really wanna kiss you right now?” His face is mere inches from yours, so close that you could smell the coffee on his breath. You shake your head.

“No. I really wanna kiss you too.”

“C’ mere, then.” 

Harry leans forward a bit more until his lips are ghosting over yours. You pull at the collar of his shirt, bringing his already close body even closer to yours. His lips are softer than they look, and he’s a better kisser than you thought he’d be, too. He brings his hands up to tangle them in your hair, and that’s when you abruptly pull away, not wanting things to go too far. “We shouldn’t…” He looks at you with sad eyes, but he nods, understanding what you mean.

“Probably not the best idea?” his response comes out as more of a question than a statement, but you nod in agreement anyway.

“Definitely not. I’m um–– I’m actually gonna go,” you stand up, slinging your purse over your shoulder. “Thanks for the coffee, Harry. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see––”

You’re out the door, rushing down the stairs before he can even finish his sentence.

The rest of the school week goes on without either one of you mentioning it. It’s a little awkward for a couple of days, but by the time Friday rolls around, both of you decide the best course of action to take regarding the kiss would be to act like it never happened. 

You’re in your room at lunch hanging up your kids’ artwork they made during their ‘Free Time’ this morning, having declined Harry’s lunch invitation for the fourth time that week. You decided to pretend to be busy with work so you wouldn’t be too tempted to go into his room. To most people, you’re sure it looked like you were avoiding him–– and maybe you were. However, you were trying to get over this crush on him in the best way that you knew how.

“Need some help?”

You jump, nearly falling backward off the stepstool you were on. “Holy shit, Harry! You scared the hell out of me!” You feel your body getting warm, and you quickly look away, not wanting him to see how flustered you were.

“Sorry, you weren’t answering my texts, so I decided to come see what you were up to,” he walks over to where you were standing and hands you a piece of art, smiling at it before handing it to you. “You’ve got some artists in your class.”

“Mhm,” you hum, not looking him in the eyes. You hear him let out a quiet sigh.

“Still able to go see about getting those pumpkins ordered after work?”

You had completely forgotten that you and Harry decided today would be the day you’d go get the pumpkin situated figured out for your booth. For a second, you consider making an excuse to get out of it, but you decide against it. This was something that both of you were asked to do, not just him, and you didn’t want the fact that you let your attraction to him cloud your judgment getting in the way of your professional responsibilities.

“Yeah, that works.”

He doesn’t say anything, and even though you’re not looking at him, you can see the gears in his head turning. “Should we talk––” 

You’re quite literally saved by the bell, the end of lunch interrupting where you knew he was about to lead the conversation. “I’ll see you after school? Did you walk here again? I can drive.” Harry nods slowly.

“Uh, yeah. he replies. “I walked. Uh, ’m gonna go get my kids. See you after school then?”

“Yup!” you respond, fake enthusiasm in your voice. Harry gives you one more look before walking out of your room. You wait until he’s all the way down the hall before following behind him to bring your class back inside. You knew you were the one making things awkward between you and Harry. However, the realistic part of you knew getting involved with your coworker was one of the worst ideas you’d ever had in your life. For now, you’d just tell yourself that you were probably more into Harry than he was into you and pray that would be enough to make you get over your crush.

“I haven’t been to a pumpkin patch since I was a kid.” Harry stuffs his hands farther into his pockets while yours are tightly hugging your chest. You hum, not saying anything. The car ride there was a little awkward, and you were glad it was so short. You could tell there was a lot Harry wanted to say, but you were glad he wasn’t saying it. You keep seeing him glance at you, but you pretend not to notice.

“What size pumpkins should we ask for? Small ones, huh?” Harry nods, looking around in childlike awe. There was a small petting zoo, booths selling warm drinks and kettle corn, and an obscene amount of children.

You walk around together for a moment before encountering a friendly-looking employee who looked like he could help you out. Harry takes over, explaining the situation, and why you need to order one hundred tiny pumpkins. While you’re waiting for the employee to ask the owner if that would even be possible, Harry turns to face you.

“Y/N? Can we talk about what happened on Monday?” you’re about to tell him that you’d rather not, but he continues. “I felt something during that kiss, Y/N. I’m not sure if you felt it too, but I don’t want things to be awkward between us. We have to get through an entire school year working side-by-side, and if you’re not interested, then I respect that one hundred percent, but I just want––”

“So the owner said that is possible!” The employee that was helping you out comes back with a form and clipboard in their hand. “Can you just fill out some information and let us know what time you need it tomorrow? The owner said he could get it delivered and give you guys a discount since you’re ordering so much.”

���That’s great!” you exclaim, taking the form from him. You were glad to have been saved from your conversation with Harry. You quickly go through and fill out everything you can, telling them they can bill your school’s PTA. 

The walk back to your car is silent. You’re replaying what Harry was saying to you over in your head, thinking about what he was going to say before he was interrupted. He opens your car door like he’s been doing, but he doesn’t make eye contact with you or say a word as he slides into the passenger seat.

“Y’can just drop me off,” Harry says quietly. He leans your seat back and closes his eyes. You wait to see if he’ll connect his phone, but he doesn’t, so you turn on the radio at a volume so low it almost can’t be heard. It takes everything in you not to speed back to his place. You just wanted him out of your car. You had such strong feelings for him that it physically hurt, and restraining yourself from telling him how you really felt was growing harder and harder.

“We’re here.” your voice is a little hoarse from not saying anything. Harry slowly opens his eyes and unbuckles his seatbelt, opening the door.

“Right. Thanks for the ride. What time do we need to be at school to set up our booth by?”

“Four. I can pick you up if you want?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow, Y/N.” He closes the door and walks up to his gate without looking back at you once.

“Hi Miss Y/L/N! Hi Mr. Styles!”

Groups of your students had been coming up to you excitedly all evening. It made you happy to see that the Kindergarten classes were no longer divided. They were starting to hang out with one another. Their parents tell you how their children thought it was just the coolest thing to be on school grounds on a Saturday, and how even though it was only a week into the school year, they were having the best time. It was comments like this that made you fall in love with your job all over again.

Things between you and Harry were going well. It wasn’t awkward, but you think it was because you were both too busy helping children paint their pumpkins. You were glad that Harry didn’t take the bit of downtime the two of you had when no one was at your booth trying to talk about the kiss and instead talked about other random things instead. You find out he loves baking (specifically, bread), he has an obsession with old music, and has about fifty tattoos. He talks to his mom on the phone every day, and he is extremely close to his sister. You tell him about your parents’, your undergraduate experience, your hobbies, and you finally tell him what music you like to listen to.

The festival quickly comes to an end, and you find yourself sad once you and Harry are done cleaning up your booth, knowing that you were just going to drop him off at his apartment and go back to yours to spend another Saturday night alone. You get to his complex almost too quickly, and you almost want to keep going and pretend you accidentally missed it just to be with him a bit longer. Instead, you park.

“D’ya wanna come inside?” He blurts out. Even in the darkness of your car, you can tell his face is flushed. “I mean if you haven’t got plans. I know it’s a Saturday night, so I understand if––”

“Nope, I don’t have plans. I’d love to.” Your hands are shaky as you unbuckle your seatbelt. He quickly gets out of your car and runs around to your side, opening the door for you before you can do it yourself. You almost don’t even notice since it was becoming such a habit.

“I picked up this new bottle of wine a couple days ago that’ve been wanting to pop open. Think we deserve a glass or two after such a long week, hmm?” You wordlessly nod, wholly mesmerized with just how good Harry looked after such a long day of work. His curls fell perfectly across his forehead, his eyes were sparkling and full of excitement. 

“A glass of wine sounds great,” you reply with a chuckle. “I’m ready to drink a whole bottle by the end of the week if I’m being honest.” Harry laughs, quickly punching in his gate code. You could see his hands shaking a little bit, but you decide not to comment on it. He takes the stairs up to his apartment two at a time like he did last time you were there, but this time there’s an urgency and clumsiness to his actions that you haven’t seen before. He jams the key in his lock, quickly shoving the door open.

His apartment is a little messier than it was when you were in it at the beginning of the week, but it’s nothing disgusting. He runs his fingers through his curls, moving aside papers that were scattered along the length of the couch. “Sorry, I was doin’ some planning. Make yourself comfortable.” He disappears to the kitchen, and moments later, you hear the pop of a wine cork and the smooth sound of him pouring the alcohol into glasses.

He emerges from his kitchen, handing you a generously poured glass of wine. “Thanks, Harry,” you tell him before taking a big sip. It was sweet, and while you usually preferred a more dry wine, it was still delicious. 

“Cheers to the end of a successful first week,” he holds up his glass, and you smile, clinking yours with his. “Thanks for helpin’ me get through it, Y/N. Couldn’t have done it without you.” You give him a timid smile.

“Stop, Harry. You’re a great teacher. I can see your kids love you already,” you take another sip of wine. “I kinda do too. I mean–– that came out wrong. I don’t love you, but I do think I like you.” You didn’t know what came over you at that moment, but something told you now was the time to lay it all out on the table with Harry. He sets his glass of wine down, the biggest smile on his face.

“Really? I thought you weren’t interested. Was kinda startin’ to feel like you hate me,” he sounds a little sad. You shake your head.

“Quite the opposite, actually. I’m really into you,” you didn’t even realize how you’d inched your way towards Harry. “I’ve been trying not to think about how we kissed because we shouldn’t, you know? We’re coworkers. I’ve been trying not to think about it all week, though, and I just can’t get you out of my mind.” He stares intensely into your eyes, chewing on the inside of his cheek like he usually does when he’s thinking.

“Can I kiss you, Y/N?” he finally asks. You’re in the same position as you were last time, being mere inches away from the other’s lips. Only this time, you smell the wine on his breath, not coffee. You nod quickly, and Harry cups your face in his hands, hungrily pressing his lips against yours.

“You can do more than kiss me, actually,” you tell him breathlessly. “You can do whatever you want with me.”

Harry raises an eyebrow, a shocked look on his face. “When you say anything…” he trails off.

“I want you to fuck me, Harry,” you tell him bluntly. “Please. Been wanting that all week.” He licks his lips, looking at you in a way he hasn’t yet before. 

“I can definitely do that,” he replies, resting his hand on your thigh. His large hand is dangerously close to your pussy, and you can already feel yourself growing wet. “Let’s get all these clothes off you then, huh?” 

You stand up and quickly start removing your clothes. First, your blouse comes off, and that’s quickly followed by your bra. Harry’s leaning back on the couch, arms resting behind his head. “Enjoying the show?” you ask, quickly pulling down your jeans and underwear. You’re completely naked in front of him in thirty seconds flat, and you reckon that’s the fastest you’ve ever undressed for anything. 

“Very much so,” he mumbles, palming himself over his khakis. “C’ mere, Y/N.” he pats his lap, and you move to sit in it, now straddling him. He softly presses his lips against yours, the hunger that was there just a moment ago completely dissipated. This was a much more hesitant kiss, more gentle and tender. “You’re really beautiful, Y/N.”

You giggle. “I know. You’ve told me that before.”

“I want you to know how much I mean it.”

“I know you do.”

Harry nods. “Can I have a taste of ya now?” you notice that his accent sounds a bit thicker than usual, voice a tad gruffer. You nod, swallowing thickly. Climbing off Harry, you lay back on the couch, situating yourself, so it’s a little more comfortable. He looks into your eyes, placing his hands on your knees. “Is this okay, Y/N?” You nod again, and he removes his hands.

“What’s wrong?” your voice has a hint of desperation in it, but after a week of extreme sexual tension, you wanted nothing more than to cum by the hands of this man.

“Wanna hear you tell me it’s okay. I don’t wanna do anything you don’t want,” he’s looking down at his hands.

“Harry, I wouldn’t have given you a striptease and laid back on this couch for you if I didn’t want it. I wholeheartedly give you permission to do whatever you want with me––”

That’s enough for him. He roughly pries your legs open, immediately licking a long stripe up your heat. You cry out, not expecting him to get right into it. You look down at him and groan when you see he’s making eye contact with you, a smug look on his face. “How’s tha’, love?” You nod, tangling your hands in his curls.

“Yeah Harry, please,” you moan. Harry sucks harshly at your clit, pulling off loudly, the sound echoing throughout his minimally furnished apartment.

“Please what, pet?” He’s looking you dead in the eyes, a devilish grin on his face while his index finger rubs small circles on your clit. Your chest is heaving up and down quickly as you try to calm your breathing down.

“Please make me cum on your tongue, Harry,” you try pushing his head back down to your cunt, but he doesn’t budge.

“Think I rather like hearin’ you beg like this fo’ me. Enjoyin’ watching you squirm like tha’, love.” Just as your about to beg for him some more to feed his inflated ego, he attaches his lips to your clit once more, this time adding his ring finger into your tight pussy. “You’re tight. Sure you’ll be able to take my cock?” His voice is muffled, and you just barely make out what he says.

You clench around his finger, and he laughs, the vibrations sending a new sensation across your clit. “Y’like thinkin’ about my cock, hmm?”

“Yeah, want you in me,” you beg, lifting your hips up. He grips onto your hips tightly, keeping you in place.

“Can feel yeh gettin’ ready for me, darlin’. Think you can take another one?” You nod, and Harry gently places kitten licks on your swollen clit while he slowly pushes his middle finger into you. You feel full in a way you haven’t felt in such a long time, and he only had two fingers in you. Once he pumps his fingers in and out of you a few times, he goes back to harshly sucking on his clit, moaning every so often so you can feel the vibrations against your cunt.

“Fuck,” you’re moaning loudly, and you pray Harry’s neighbors don’t hear you, knowing how thin apartment walls were.

“So fuckin’ wet for me, doll,” he mutters, adding another finger inside you. The burn feels amazing, and you place your hand on his wrist, urging him to go faster. “Gonna cum in my mouth, hmm? Gonna let me feel ya around m’ fingers?”

“Yes, please, Harry,” you feel yourself nearly there, your orgasm threatening to overtake you at any moment. 

“Give it to me then, Y/N. Cum for me,” he demands. As soon as he says those three words, you’re done for, your body going tense as waves of pleasure roll throughout your body. He doesn’t remove his digits from the your cunt until you’re coming down from your high, placing a kiss to your clit. He laughs as you shudder at the overstimulation. Harry places his three fingers that were just inside of you and his mouth and sucks on them, not once breaking eye contact with you. 

“That was really good,” you tell him, crawling on your knees towards him to place a kiss on the underside of his jaw—Harry’s beaming, a triumphant look on his face.

“Not yet. Gotta make y’ cum one more time. I’m a gentleman, after all.” You know he’s messing with you but also serious, so you lean back on the couch, opening your legs once again.

“Are you gonna take off your clothes too? Why am I the only one that’s naked?” Harry laughs, and you hear the clanking of his belt as he undoes it. 

“You’re impatient, aren’t ya?” you nod, and he pulls down his tenting khakis and tight boxers. His cock springs up, slightly touching his stomach, and he hisses at the feeling. “Hold on a sec.” He gets up quickly, and you hear him hurry to what you assume in the bathroom, rummaging around. He comes back a minute later with a box of condoms, making you laugh.

“Is that a new box of condoms? Have you been holding onto those all week, Mr. Styles?” Harry rolls his eyes and opens the box, ripping open a condom expertly with his teeth.

“Weren’t you just the one beggin’ for me, pet? I’d watch it if I were you,” he jokes, rolling the condom onto his hard length. He leans down to place wet, opened mouth kisses to your breasts. “So beautiful.”

“Are you gonna take off your shirt?” you ask quietly. “I kinda wanna see all your tattoos.” Harry raises an eyebrow at you but unbuttons his shirt nevertheless, throwing it into the mess of clothes scattered around the living room. You reach your hand up, shakily tracing the swallows on his chest, moving down to the butterfly across his stomach and finally to the ferns on his abdomen. Harry’s staring down at you, watching as you delicately touch his skin. “You have so many.” you finally say. He nods.

“Yeah. Some of them I just got for the hell of it. Felt like after I got that first tattoo, it was hard to stop.” He caresses the skin on your thighs, and you shudder again. “Gonna let me get inside that pretty lil’ cunt now?”

“Please.”

Harry aligns himself with your entrance and slowly pushes into you, sharply inhaling as you clench around his length. “Relax, Y/N.’ve got ya,” he tells you reassuringly. “Can’t get inside ya if you’re all tense like tha’.” You can tell Harry’s trying his hardest not to absolutely wreck you, the vein in his forehead very prominent from clenching his jaw so tightly. You grip tightly onto his bicep, biting your lip as you adjust to his size. You were so wet and indescribably turned on that you felt every vein his thick cock had to offer, and you knew you wouldn’t last long once he started moving. By the looks of it, Harry wouldn’t either.

“You can move,” you tell him, squeezing your eyes shut. Harry slowly pulls out of you and then ever so gently sinks back inside you, bottoming out. He lets out a breathy moan, moving one of his hands up to tweak your nipples. “Harder, Harry, fuck.” 

He immediately pulls out of you and slams back inside, the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass echoing in the room. You scream in pleasure, no longer caring if his neighbors hear what you two were doing. 

“Like tha’?” He asks cheekily, working up a steady rhythm. You nod, gripping your boobs to keep them from bouncing. Harry shakes his head, forcefully removing your hands. “Nope, none of that. Wanna see ’em.” He takes both of your hands in one of his, pinning them up over your head. His other hand reaches in between your bodies to rub at your clit, and before you have time to warn him, you’re cumming again, squirting all over his cock. 

Harry throws his head back in pleasure, his thrusts getting sloppy and frantic, and you know he’s seconds away from his own orgasm. You spur him on, telling him how badly you wanted him to come inside of you (even though he was wearing a condom). He stills moments later, shaking above you as he holds himself up with an arm, not wanting to collapse on top of you.

“Fuckin’ hell, Y/N. Why did we wait a whole week to do this again?”

[binunus]

college bf!eunwoo

a/n I LOVE HIM !! I WOULD LITERALLY RISK IT ALL FOR HIM !! also rip to the disappointing hookup experience I had that made an appearance in this headcanon...yes I’m still angry about it.

→ pairing: eunwoo x f!reader

→ genre: smut, fluff, fwb to lovers

→ tw: hookup culture, mentions of drinking and drug use, implied almost SA, this is a bit heavy compared to the other ones like please be a cautious a little when you’re reading this

→ word count: 5.6k

_______________________________

here we go ladies and gents

i had something completely different planned for this

and it was super angsty and dramatic

but i had a monumental experience last night so I’m changing this up

and okay okay

i usually try to write all my stuff gender neutral but bc of the idea I have for some of this plot, it’s gonna be a female reader

im sorry to all my male identifying loves :(

and back to our regularly scheduled program

cha motherfuckin eunwoo

lee fuckin dongmin

he doesn’t go by dongmin, he prefers to go by eunwoo, only his family calls him dongmin

as soon as he stepped foot into the university, everyone knew him

and I mean everyone

he’s so attractive

but don’t get it twisted, eunwoo’s the humblest, sweetest bean

he gets very embarrassed when people compliment him for his looks

applied for random roommates his first year and got paired up with swimmer!bin

he and bin become besties and end up rooming together their entire college career

major: music performance, specialty in piano

most people (besides those in the music department or astro) would have never thought eunwoo was a music major, especially since he was incredibly smart and athletic too???

usually gets mistaken for a STEM major

often helps the boys (especially rocky and sanha) with their studies

and oof when he tries out for–and makes it into–the basketball team

everyone ???? floored

eunwoo has game on the court...now with dating??? eh not so much

(at least not sober shh)

he’s tried dating before, at least in the first year or so

the basketball team kept trying to set him up with people

but it never got anywhere substantial and eunwoo always trusted astro to really give the vibe check and no one ever passed

and so he settled for hookup culture every now and then

his emotions are guarded :’(

yes he’s very easy to talk to and always so nice and well mannered

but he’s only himself with astro

now, where do you come into this???

you’re a cheerleader

you and eunwoo know each other by association

you cheer for his home games, you’ve been in a couple of classes together, you’ve seen each other at parties

but would you call yourselves friends?? not really

now you know it’s highly unlikely for you to have a lasting boyfriend in college, especially with your affiliation as a cheerleader, so you also opt for hookup culture

less messy feelings, less drama, less commitment, all that fun

so the first time your paths really intertwine with eunwoo is at a party

the basketball team won a big game and they were out celebrating yuh

and ofc since it’s his team, eunwoo popped out

he only really attends parties hosted by the basketball team bc he feels a bit obligated to go LOL but he always brings swimmer!bin for support 

and it’s chill bc bin is also an athlete–yes it’s exclusive like that

but this time, bin couldn’t go so it’s just eunwoo hanging with his team

and yes, you can guess it, you and him get partnered up to play beer pong together!

that’s so cliche omg

but ah ha you hear your opponent, one of eunwoo’s teammates say to one of your fellow cheerleaders: don’t worry baby, I’ll carry you through this game

and you cringed a little ugh men

eunwoo turns to you like: ah sorry if we lose, it’s all luck with me. The guys usually pick to play me bc I’ll probably lose. I’ll drink the cups for you though if you want me to.

you get a little fired up, like aw why do they pick on him that’s not fair

you: well I’m not horrible at pong, so let’s try to crush em

he played pretty well ok! you both got balls back twice in a row right in the beginning

your team was on a roll

you and eunwoo won three games back to back

you were feeling a bit bloated and hazy from the beer that you and him had to drink, but you were still pretty self aware

and you and eunwoo were just chilling after playing the games, you two were on a pretty good wavelength and you wanted to continue it after joking around in between plays

alright now obviously you don’t go into these parties just strictly looking for a hookup, you go to have fun and let loose

but if the person and situation arises??? you wouldn’t necessarily turn it down, especially if that person was cha eunwoo

and yeah, eunwoo was entertaining the idea too, it’s been a while since he vibed with someone like he has with you

basically by the end of the night, you brought him back to your place–you’d rather eat shit than hook up at the basketball house, it was messy and musty and just nope

your place was closer than his

and ~yuh~

it was pretty damn good

he didn’t stay the night, bc well this was a hookup, so after you both had your fill it was a casual alright see you around!

oh lord the fuss your cheerleading team gave you at the next practice asking how your hookup with eunwoo was

the news spread like wildfire

eunwoo didn’t hook up very often so every time he did, it was like breaking news

which is honestly a bit fucked up, but seriously this is how college is

alright so your sex drive skyrocketed after fucking eunwoo 

you hook up with another guy at one of the following parties

but it didn’t compare to eunwoo rip so you were pretty disappointed

and you were sorta wondering like hm? should you hit him up? but decided against it 

and then! you saw him at the gym working out with literally all of astro

bin probably forced the other 4 to come with him and eunwoo sksksksk

and you were like shit why does he look so good

not gonna lie, just in case he was looking over, you tried to make your ass and tits pop out a bit more, you know squats and shit

unfortunately, it caught the attention of other guys at the gym and not eunwoo grrr

and you were literally just planning to stop being a coward and go up and talk to him, but a guy blocked your path

and he was lowkey being very creepy and way too close for your liking

but you weren’t having it, hell no you ain’t a damsel in distress

being a cheerleader taught you how to defend yourself against predatory men

so you were basically telling him to fuck off and leave you alone, but he was being really damn persistent about it

and just as the guy was about to put a hand on you, eunwoo steps in and he’s like: dude, she’s clearly not interested, fuck off.

after a bit of a stare off, the guy leaves and wow you’re face to face with eunwoo again hehehe

his eyes switch from a glare to a soft worried look and he’s like, hey are you okay?

and you’re like a little giddy, maybe also a little bit turned on bc he’s still like fresh from a workout, his hair was brushed back revealing his forehead, his arm muscles were really defined right now, and just he’s so hot? 

but you smile nonchalantly, you genuinely could have just slapped the shit out of the guy or kicked him right in the baby factory, but eunwoo stepping in was also a pleasant surprise, you weren’t complaining

you: yeah. I could have handled it, but thanks for helping

and he just grins, your confidence?? attractive

the two of you just like look at each other for a couple seconds and you’re yelling at yourself in your head like don’t cop out this is what you were waiting for !!

you: so...you’re here with your friends?

eunwoo: yeah, me and my roommate forced them to come work out with us haha. did you come by yourself?

you: yeah, I usually work out with my teammates, but I decided to come alone today

eunwoo nods and you see him like look at your neck and you immediately get a bit shy bc you knew there was a hickey there from your last (very disappointing) hookup: you’ve been having fun recently?

your face flushes: the last one was embarrassing really, so honest to god no

eunwoo: why was it embarrassing? if...you don’t mind me asking

you immediately facepalm: no, yeah I don’t mind telling you...ugh, eunwoo I was literally catfished. this guy really talked mad game about his dick and then when I agreed to hook up, he asked me to suck him off and it literally only took him less than ten minutes. and after he came, he just pulled up his pants and said “damn you give really good head” like the fuck? he didn’t even offer to return the favor or anything, and when I asked him “wait, are we gonna fuck?” he just said “maybe next time.” maYbE neXt tiMe?? I was played so hard, you have no idea how pissed I was, eunwoo. and now I have to wait for his dumb fucking hickey to heal so that I can literally just repress that hookup even happened.

his jaw literally dropped: he didn’t give you anything?

you shook your head, you were getting pissed again 

eunwoo couldn’t believe his ears, he glances back at astro for a second and then he clears his throat: well...what are you doing after the gym?

you: nothing, just going home and taking a shower. My roommate’s not gonna be home tonight so I’m probably gonna wallow in my sorrows about that hookup again

he laughs: well sounds like you have a fun night planned, but if you want some company?? I’d be more than happy to come over and help you forget about the sad disrespect of that hookup.

who said eunwoo couldn’t flirt ???

and he was thinking about hitting you up again too before but he didn’t wanna seem like a fuckboy or anything

but seeing you defend yourself against the guy?? lowkey was a bit of turn on for him

obviously you agreed hello

eunwoo going up to astro: so uh...imma head out first...I’ll see you guys later. :)

sanha: hyung so scandalous *O*

you and eunwoo fuck again

and after this time, the two of you have a little bit of pillow talk

basically you tell him that fucking him ruined all other guys for you bc he was just that good

and eunwoo usually gets shy from compliments, but his ego with this one??? he felt a bit proud ohohoho

and he’s like: honestly, you’re the only person I’ve fucked in six months, but I gotta agree that our sexual chemistry is pretty good

so where do you two go from there?

friends with benefits baby, full on fuck buddies

you both talk and agree that you two weren’t looking for relationships at the moment, but the sex was good

i’m gonna get into specifics later, but for now a little more plot

obviously, you and eunwoo talk a lot more now that you two were basically fucking each other at least once a week

the guys notice that he’s so much more?? carefree?? less stressed out?? ever since you and him started your little agreement

and they’re already scheming by themselves, like eunwoo would not get into a situation like this unless he trusted you as a person

and at first it was really just, call each other over, have sex, stay for a little bit longer, then leave

neither of you ever stayed the night bc that’s just an unspoken rule

until there was this one party, a group of people were in one of the rooms at the basketball house and they told you to come join them and ~do drugs~

don’t dabble kids, I’m serious

and you were chilling with eunwoo and bin for a bit until they called you over and you were like: wanna try too?

eunwoo and bin didn’t do it obviously, but you were curious so you went and told them you would be back in a bit

eunwoo was worried about you, bin could see it from a mile away

he kept glancing back at the room and one by one people started to come out, but none of them were you

bin nudging eunwoo: go check up on her

eunwoo opens the door to see you being like pinned down on the bed and he turns livid

he pulls the guy off you and punches him right in the face like: what the fuck do you think you’re doing? what did you give her?

you’re noticeably out of it, sobriety? not there

the guy basically laced something in the drug he gave you, omg you were roofied??

bin comes in and he literally has to hold eunwoo back from beating the shit out of the other guy

the two take you back to their apartment and were making sure that you didn’t die or something shit

literally cannot believe the first time you slept over at eunwoo’s place was when you were drugged up

you wake up the next morning, nauseous, body weak, and confused

eunwoo also wakes up because of your movement: hey y/n, are you okay?

you: eunwoo...what...what happened last night??

he sits up and gives you a recount of the party and you just like hug your body tightly when he brings up the drugs and start crying

he’s a bit shocked when he sees your tears, but he just pulls you in for a hug to try and comfort you, obviously that must have been a bit traumatic

eunwoo: hey...it’s okay...I’m just glad I checked up on you before something worse happened

you: I’m such a fucking idiot...I can’t believe I let myself get put in that situation again...no wonder people think I’m a just a dumb whore.

~trauma~

you and him spill your deepest darkest most traumatizing secrets that morning and you just feel more connected to him

you: I honestly never really told anyone...thanks eunwoo, you’re a good friend.

he feels more protective of you after that??

you start hanging around with him and astro more

and the guys really like having you around !!

you’re very easy to get along with, you also joke and tease eunwoo with them, they love you !

you even become really friendly with the other guys’ partners

about half a year into your fuck buddy relationship with eunwoo

everyone: why aren’t you dating y/n yet?

eunwoo: what do you mean?? we’re just friends...with benefits??

before you even know it, you’re spending literally all your time (when you’re not training or practicing or at class) with eunwoo and his friends

you sleep more at eunwoo’s than you do at your own apartment

honestly you two are already acting like a couple

except for the fact that you only kiss each other when you’re fucking, or you don’t hold hands in public, or you don’t say the L word to each other obviously

but the cuddles? the jokes? the hanging out? if you two are seen together there’s still a little form of physical touch––like a hand on the waist, or resting his elbow on your shoulder––something that tells other people that you two are a bit exclusive to each other

and maybe it’s because both of your emotional capacities when it comes to relationships are akin to a pubescent thirteen year old, but you and eunwoo?? don’t really realize that you’re both basically in love with each other

and it’s also the fact that catching feelings in a friends with benefits?? forbidden

but what if both people catch feelings?

you don’t realize you like eunwoo until a year of fucking each other

damn a year?? y’all really suppressed those romantic feelings hard

you and him were hanging out, per usual, but in the piano rooms of the music building

eunwoo had to practice his repertoire for an upcoming performance and you were free so you decided to come along and keep him company

you knew he was a music major and that he played piano, but you never actually heard him play

you were just chilling by the window, scrolling through your phone, and then he just starts playing and your jaw?? literally dropped

it was so intricate and fluid and elegant, you looked over to the keys and his hands just moved so expertly over them

you were put in a trance, it was so beautiful??

and then you look up and his concentration? seriousness? he has honestly never looked more attractive to you than in that moment

and then eunwoo meets your eyes and he smiles a little: is it bad?

you: no, you’re amazing actually...

and your stomach does a triple somersault and your cheeks start heating up, like why is your heart going haywire???

you start spacing out and obviously he notices

eunwoo calls your name and pats the space next to him on the piano bench

eunwoo: what are you thinking of, hm?

you: n-nothing. keep playing, I wanna hear more

and so he does and your heart just won’t chill out, especially now that you’re literally sitting mere centimeters apart from him

he’s still playing and you just can’t stop thinking about how much you want to kiss him–and not in a sexual way

and that honestly scared you, so you panicked and put your hand near his crotch

eunwoo jolts in surprise, but he doesn’t say anything, he just chuckles and continues playing

do you have sex in the piano room to try and distract yourself from whatever you were feeling? yeah

you hide your feelings for a little bit, but the more time you spent with him, the stronger they got, and you honestly didn’t know what to do

so you tried distancing yourself, you gave eunwoo the excuse that cheerleading competitions were coming up–which they were, so it wasn’t a complete lie–and you needed to focus and have time to yourself

it was so weird for you not seeing him and astro all the time, you barely responded to his text messages or calls, and when you saw him around campus, you would immediately try to avoid him, and it hurt but you were ~scared~

eunwoo’s a smart boy, he knew something was off with you

but after a week of trying to contact you, he didn’t wanna seem annoying or a bother, so he tried not to

even though all he wanted was to see you or talk to you, like it was beyond sex at this point

he missed you, he thought he was going to go insane

he didn’t realize his feelings for you until he saw you talking to a guy in the athletic building

he had basketball practice, and you just finished your cheerleading practice

you were talking to this one guy from your philosophy class, basically joking around and talking shit about your professor

and eunwoo saw you smile at something the guy said and he just felt jealous

his fists clenched, he hated seeing you smile and laugh with the guy like how you used to do with him

and it also didn’t help that you and him haven’t really talked in two or three weeks and he just missed you so much :(

he tried not to think about it during his practice, but it didn’t work, he was off his game for this one, even his teammates and coach noticed it

he went back to his place after practice and called over the boys and basically vented his frustrations

jin: eunwoo. you like y/n

eunwoo: I know...fuck what do I do

bin: tell her, obviously

eunwoo: and risk our?? friendship??

myungjun: you’re a fucking idiot if you don’t see that she likes you back

rocky: yeah...I mean why else do you think noona started distancing herself from you?

eunwoo: maybe I’m just feeling like this because we haven’t met up in a while and I saw her talking to that guy and I don’t know? I’m horny?

sanha: hyung...you sound indenial and jealous.

bin: you like her. we’re surprised you didn’t realize this earlier.

anyway, the day of the competition comes, and the guys and their partners decide to pop out and support you

and seeing them actually made you feel so warm, you wave at them brightly and you meet eyes with eunwoo and you smile at him even though the butterflies are back and at full force

the group is so proud watching you and your team compete, their cheers are debatably the loudest and you literally have to stop yourself from laughing in the middle of your routine

your school places first yuh

and after talking with your team and discussing celebration plans, you go to the group

you were having such an adrenaline rush, you immediately run up to eunwoo in a crushing hug and you kiss him

eunwoo doesn’t even hesitate to kiss you back

astro and them: ohohoho hey

you: I’m so happy you all came! I can’t believe we actually won!

you were going to celebrate with your team bc you knew they were throwing a party, but celebrating with eunwoo and astro/their partners seemed way more appealing to you

you all go out to dinner and drink a little bit casually and it’s all such good vibes

you missed hanging around with them all and it just felt so right

eunwoo rested his hand on your thigh the whole time throughout dinner, he missed you alright, and just seeing you so happy with all his friends? he was hooked

when the group parts ways, it’s just you and eunwoo heading back to his place bc bin is spending the night at his partner’s apartment

and honestly the tension is so thick between you two

you barely make it past the door before you’re both latched onto each other, making out and all that steamy stuff

after you have sex, the two of you are having that post-sex cuddle in his bed and your heart is pounding so loud

you: hey...I’m sorry if it was weird that I kissed you earlier at the venue, I don’t really know what came over me, I was just so glad to see you guys

eunwoo: you don’t have to apologize for that y/n...I missed you

you roll around so that your back is to him bc you do not have the strength to look at him in the eyes right now

eunwoo hugs your waist and pulls you in his chest, he’s spooning you and he has no plans on letting you go any time soon

you: uh...eunwoo, I-we-uh maybe we should stop this...thing from going any further

he literally freezes: ...did I do something wrong?

you: no! it’s...I...fuck I don’t know how to say this...I know we’ve been hooking up for a year but just recently I...think I have feelings for you...and it’s not fair for either of us to continue this if we’re not on the same page.

eunwoo: y/n, I–

you’re rambling now, you’re scared of what he has to say: and honestly you’ve become someone I really don’t wanna lose in my life. You’re an amazing person and friend, and I don’t wanna fuck that up by having feelings for you, especially since you probably don’t feel the same. I just...can’t have casual sex with you anymore...I’m sorry, it would break me.

you’re like trying to get up and you tell him that you’re going to go to the party your team’s hosting but he just tightens his grip

eunwoo: don’t go...please

you: eunwoo, I can’t stay here–

eunwoo: you don’t even know what I feel, y/n...why are you so sure that I don’t feel the same way as you?? because I do...honest to god, y/n, I like you so fucking much. the month that you didn’t talk to me was like hell and I don’t ever wanna experience that again. I missed you so much I thought I was going crazy...please don’t go.

you roll around and face him again

you: y-you like me? you’re not just saying that because you want to keep having sex?

eunwoo: I’m not just saying that because of the sex...I promise

you: so...what does that make us now?

eunwoo: well would you do me the honors and be my girlfriend?

god finally you two are dating

you realize that not much really changes after the two of you make it official

the pda does increase though, you actually hold hands and kiss each other in public now

and you two are more cutesy with each other

yes astro pretends to gag whenever they see you act all coupley

petnames!! you call each other baby, sometimes you call him minnie!! as in dongminnie !! im screaming!!

a poster couple, the basketball player and the cheerleader

literally when you’re both wearing your uniforms and you kiss each other, it’s like one of those teen movies

lots of forehead kisses especially right before bed

eunwoo’s a clingy cuddly boy, especially now that you two are together

lots of study dates?? he is a scholar after all

you’re each other’s biggest supporters !! you always go to all of his recitals and basketball games, he always goes to your competitions

he’s very soft okay, will never stop showing you off or telling you how much you mean to him and how much he loves you

the first I love you came shortly in the relationship, and that’s because you’ve known each other a year prior and the feelings were really just building up since then

you were in the piano room again and he was just playing for fun, but you always loved hearing him ~tickle those ivories~

he was playing a song and singing along and you swear you had heart eyes for him, his voice was so soft and gentle and just wow

you’re sitting next to him and you just hug his waist while he’s playing

eunwoo’s smiling so wide and then he’s singing to you 

he doesn’t even get to finish the song, because you’re grabbing his face and kissing him 

he’s laughing in between kisses and you can’t help but laugh with him

grrr he’s so cute!

and then you two are just looking at each other

eunwoo: hm? 

you: I love you, minnie

he doesn’t miss a beat: I love you too, y/n

you and him have a lot of deep talks together, especially right before bed

it’s the time when he can just let out all the frustrations of the day and just be with you

he actually holds a lot of pressure and worries, but knowing that you’re by his side, comforts him a lot

the two of you have so many pictures together it’s so cute

eunwoo’s a bit possessive alright, not in the toxic way, but will he tighten his grip on your waist if a guy seems to be getting a little too friendly with you? yeah

not gonna lie, you get possessive too, it’s hard especially if your boyfriend is cha eunwoo, he’s the fucking perfect package god dammit

you both tell each other that you don’t have to worry about other people bc y’all are just both so whipped for each other

but it’s still cute when either of you are jealous

he’s actually pretty into couple items, but it has to be like minimalistic-style

like matching plain color hoodies or matching pajama sets

will not wear a “he’s mine, she’s mine” shirt or something

but it’s okay bc neither would you sksksk

will he wink at you if he makes a three pointer during his game? yeah.

literally loves when you wear his clothes or fuck, his jersey?? a turn on

and here we go !! I’ve been talking about sex so much but let’s get into it !!

in the beginning, like before you two started dating, when it was just your fuck buddy friendship, it was sexy

and not saying that it’s not sexy now that you two were in a relationship, but before it was just lust

eunwoo’s a freak alright, you can’t convince me otherwise

he’s a little kinky

definitely into food play, you two use whipped cream during foreplay a little too much...

100% into anal

you know how much he loves ass, has a very nice ass himself

and we already been knew, but yes he’s an ass guy

s p a n k i n g

eunwoo seeing you in your cheerleading skirt? immediate turn on

will literally fuck you while you’re wearing your skirt...just your skirt.

alright alright, you have a hand kink...was it awoken by watching eunwoo play piano all the time? yes

does eunwoo use that to his advantage? yes

the amount of times he’s fingered you??? vaginal and anal??? lord have mercy

very much into overstimulation, will keep fingering you until you squirt

and yes im bringing back my the choking kink

literally if his hands make any contact with your neck area, even when he’s just kissing, you will drench

but ugh you and eunwoo making out and you know how he like cups the back of the neck?? i know y’all have seen it from the true beauty kiss scenes, and then it gets heated and his grip just moves to the front and squeezes and when your mouth opens in a gasp, he shoves his tongue down your throat

that’s so sexy

do you like choking on his cock? probably more than you should

does he make you deep throat until tears are literally streaming down your face? most definitely

he loves marking you?? it’s just a tell tale way to show everyone you’re his

he’s a bit feisty...will he manhandle you during sex?? yeah

eunwoo is a dom. I am 100% convinced that he is a dom, you won’t be domming him honey

daddy and babygirl kink...I said it...

okay he’s a bit of an exhibitionist...would probably be down to have sex anywhere as long as you don’t get caught

piano room sex? locker room sex? library sex? movie theater sex? restaurant bathroom sex? yes you’ve done it all

will he finger you while you guys are having a movie night with the guys? yeah

eunwoo’s a tease, he’s a little shit, will tease you until you’re literally in tears begging for him to just do something

favorite position is doggy, it’s the view of the ass for him

although you two both do like experimenting different positions, especially if it has to do with “training your flexibility”

will pull your hair while he’s fucking you from behind, and will plug your asshole with his thumb–don’t knock it until you try it...it’s...a pretty good feeling

sometimes wakes you up by eating you out

very much a giver ugh king

the type to grip your thighs tighter when you try to push him away from overstimulation just to force another orgasm out of you

believe it or not, he’s a gasper/grunter/groaner

nothing is hotter than hearing eunwoo groan right when he’s about to cum oooof grrrr bark bark

okay but soft gentle sex with eunwoo is so passionate

all you feel is the love and sincerity, especially when he’s just looking in your eyes

the love making happens a lot more obviously when you start dating

he’s just so in love with you alright

gives the best and sweetest after care ugh

cleans you up, gives you massages especially if it was a rough session, cuddles you, draws you a bath, brings you water, everything

always makes sure to tell you he loves you after sex

i would risk it all for eunwoo like please ruin my life

anyway

ugh I just wanna put the idea of protective eunwoo during a party in your head

his hand is always on you. waist, thigh, shoulder, anywhere casually

you don’t fight?? but you do argue

arguing is healthy, and you both would rather let it out and bicker with each other in the moment than let it bottle in and build up into something worse

but when you do have a disagreement, no matter how big or small, you two always make sure to never go to bed angry with each other

communication is very important for the both of you

you’re his better half :’) all the things eunwoo struggles with, you help him with it and vice versa

he figured out you were the one for him during one of your deep late night pillow talks

he was worried about what he’d do in the future after graduating, like he was genuinely having a crisis about it

but you just talked so calmly to him: baby, no matter where you end up after graduation or what you end up doing, you’re going to be fine. You’re such a hard worker and I know that you’ll succeed...no matter what, I’ll be here for you minnie. I believe in you, you’re future is going to be great.

and he just kisses you so sweetly: will you be in my future, baby?

you’re smiling and you just giggle at him: if you want me to be...I’d love to be a part of it.

ugh y’all are so whipped for each other !!

astro always teasing you two, even when you’re all older

you and eunwoo are equally ticklish so basically y’all are fucked when they wanna mess with you

both of your families love you and him instantly

they push marriage immediately after you both graduate college

even astro’s like: we know you two are probably gonna tie the knot first...when’s the wedding?

not gonna lie, you and eunwoo probably get married probably 2-3 years after college, pretty young age

sidenote: eunwoo 100% cries at your wedding, especially when he sees you walking down the isle in your dress

and he has huge baby fever so you bet y’all had kids fairly young too

the best dad !! ugh he loves kids !! ugh so domestic

im just gonna say, y’all have beautiful children

trusts bin and jinjin to babysit your kids the most...he’s scared of the rest of the boys watching over his children

anyway eunwoo literally deserves the world and I just?? love him so much?? happy ending yay hehe

_________________________________________

2-21-21

[autumnsart22]

Flat Tire: Suna x fem reader

SMUT 🔥🔥

This is technically a part 3 of First time in College: Suna x reader, but I decided to make it a stand alone. You can read the other parts if you’re interested. Also, I left the ending kind of open, so I would be super happy to continue it if anyone wants me to...

P.S. I feel like it’s rare to have someone look this fine when it’s NOT EVEN FANART BRUHHHH

Suna was late to pick you up for your “date” (was it a date? He hadn’t made it particularly clear), which wasn’t a good sign. You had spent the hours after your class at 3 pacing around, trying to figure out what outfit to wear, and questioning your whole existence. Your roommate, Kiyoko, didn’t make things any better. When you had explained how you had met Suna at the frat party, how sweet he had seemed, her mouth had dropped and her eye practically popped out of her head. 

“Out of every guy you could have picked, you chose Suna Rintarou?” She sighed, burying her face in her hands. 

“What? Is he...bad?” You asked, suddenly nervous. You liked Suna, from the amount you knew about him. He seemed like he was pretty arrogant, and also kind of lazy, but he was nice to talk to. You knew you’d be disappointed if he ended up being a piece of shit. 

“He’s just...you know…” Kiyoko was clearly trying to find a way to phrase it. “He’s ditched a lot of different girls, sleeping around and then never speaking to them again, that sort of thing. Typical frat boy behavior.” 

You sighed, since it was exactly what you expected. “Well, it’s fine. We’re just going to eat, so I’ll just get it over with and then be out of his life.” 

“Ok. I just don’t want you getting hurt.” 

You waved her off. “I know, I know. Don’t worry.”

Unfortunately, six o’clock came and went, and no sign of Suna; suddenly, despite my dismissal, “getting hurt” seemed like a distinct possibility. By 6:30, you ditched your shoes and coat, crashing on your bed and starting the newest episode of Attack on Titan. Fuck Suna and his dumb pretty face. You were good with Levi. 

Halfway through the episode, there was a knock at your door, and your muscles tensed so suddenly that your neck twinged. 

“Uh, who is it?” You yelled as you rolled out of bed, stumbling to the door. 

“Su--” You opened it and blinked up at the guy outside in shock. “--na.” 

“Oh.” You raised your eyebrows. He was wearing black pants and a black crewneck, a white collared shirt underneath. 

“Hi,” he panted, completely out of breath. “Sorry.” 

You snorted. “Um. It’s late.” 

“I got lost.” 

“Did you now?” 

“And I had to go back home to change.” 

“You could have texted me!”

“...I don’t have your number.” 

You opened your mouth, but you had nothing to say to that. “Well, fuck,” you muttered, turning away. 

“Sorry. You’ll still come to eat though, right?” 

You wanted to curse him out for making you wait so long, for making you think he ditched you for the night and forgot. 

“Fine. But you’re a dick.” 

He grinned lazily, leaning in the door frame as you grabbed your shoes and jacket again, scooping up your purse as you exited your dorm. 

“What?” You said as you finally approached him, blushing as you met his eyes despite how hard you tried not to. 

“Nothing.” 

He led the way to his car in silence, and it was a strange mix of awkward and comfortable. Suna didn’t seem like the type to be super talkative, but at the same time you felt like you should be making conversation. 

When you got to his car, you took a deep breath to calm yourself down before sliding into the passenger seat. Of course, the whole car smelled like weed, but it wasn’t overwhelming and honestly kind of nice.

“So, you’re a freshman?” He asked, pulling out of the lot, and you nodded. 

“Are you?” 

“Sophomore.” 

“What’s your major?” 

“Undecided, but I enjoy photography. Not the best career path though…” 

“Wait, that's really cool.” You glanced at him, impressed. “What do you take pictures of?” 

“Anything, but people mostly.” 

“You’ll have to show me some time.” 

“Only if you forgive me for being late.” 

You crossed your arms, snorting. “Fine.” 

The car suddenly jerked, and you gasped as you heard a rush of air coming from the rear. 

“Oh...fuck,” Suna muttered, pulling off to the side of the road. “I think we just got a flat tire.” 

“How????” 

“How am I supposed to know?” 

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “Do you want me to call someone?” 

“Hang on, I might be able to…” He hopped out of the car before finishing, and you sat in silence as you heard him walking around to examine the damage. A moment later, he re-entered the driver's side with an annoyed expression on his face. “Yeah, it’s flat. Shit.” 

“What are we going to do?”

“My friend has a spare tire, but it might take him a bit to get here. Are you ok with waiting?”

You shrugged. “Sure.” 

“Sorry, this is the worst night ever.” 

“It’s not your fault. We can just hang out until your friend gets here.”

Suna’s expression didn’t change, but you thought you saw his shoulders relax a little. In the darkness of the car, you couldn’t help but admire his profile as he turned off the car and shoved his hair back from his face. 

“What?” He said, turning to look at you, and you went beat red. 

“Huh?” 

“You’re looking at me.” 

“N-no.” 

“Really?” He smirked, leaning towards you slightly. 

Your heart stuttered, practically stopping at you stared into his pretty yellow eyes. Oh my god...

“I--” 

Before you could answer, Suna sat back, still smirking. A car drove past you on the dark street and you used the momentary distraction to try and get ahold of yourself. 

“So, what do you want to do?” Suna asked, and you looked over at him again. 

“You say that like we have another option besides just sitting here.” 

He shrugged, pulling a THC pen from his pocket and holding it out to you. You took it from him, hitting it twice before handing it back. 

“What’s your major?” He asked, holding the pen to his lips. 

“Political economics right now, but I’m considering switching to english since I like writing.” 

“What do you write?” 

“All kinds of things, although mostly short stories. I’ve been working on my second novel too, and the first draft is almost done. It’s really shitty right now, but hopefully once I go back and edit it…” 

You paused, suddenly embarrassed. Were you rambling? You could talk about writing all day, but most people didn’t care enough to keep listening beyond the first sentence. 

“Yeah?” Suna said, waiting for you to finish.

“Oh. That was it.” You glanced away, waiting for a subject change. 

“What’s your novel about?” He paused, laughing under his breath. “I can’t believe you wrote a fucking book. That’s so sick.”

You couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your face, and you covered your mouth with your hand. “Ok, short version--” 

“Short version? Why? We’ve got plenty of time.” 

You opened your mouth, and then paused. No one actually ever asked to hear about your writing beyond just the basic formalities, and you couldn’t believe how happy it made you feel that someone seemed genuinely interested. 

Deciding to abandon all pretenses, you jumped into a long scale explanation of the plot you were writing, all while Suna watched your face intently. 

“...And yeah! That’s basically it,” you finished finally, smiling brightly at him. “Sorry if that was super boring, I didn’t mean to…” 

“Can I read it when you finish? I’m invested.” He took another hit off the pen while watching you, and you smiled to yourself. How was this boy saying all the right things? Fuck. 

“I suppose.” 

“You suppose?”

“Depends on my mood.” 

“What can I do to guarantee you’ll let me read?” He reached over to grab your chin, stroking your cheeks gently with his thumb, and your breathing hitched. “Ha, you’re cute when you’re all red like this.” 

You snorted, but didn’t pull away. “Flattery doesn’t work on me.” 

“Really?” He leaned closer to you, until your faces were only inches apart in the darkness.

“N-no.” Your heart thundered. 

“Hm,” He murmured. “I’ll have to try to change that.” 

And then he was pressing your body back into the seat and kissing you hard on the mouth. 

 Oh my god, it was heaven. He tasted like minty chapstick and weed, and you sighed, your mind going blank. 

His long fingers tangled in your hair, dragging you closer, and a low noise came from his chest as you opened your mouth. You pulled away after a long minute, gasping, which only prompted Suna to trail open mouthed kisses down your neck. 

You leaned your head back to give him easier access, letting out an embarrassing noise as his hand slid under your shirt to trace the skin of your stomach. 

You weren’t a virgin, but you had only had sex with one person--your previous boyfriend--and it had been less than satisfactory the few times you had done it. Apparently you had missed the physical contact more than you thought. 

You sat up, and Suna pulled away, his eyes a little glazed over and his hair messed up. God damn, he was fine. 

He smiled slowly as your eyes trailed down his chest to his crotch, and he slid his seat all the way back so there was enough room for you to crawl into his lap. 

It was awkward, and you slammed your head on the roof of the car hard enough to make you yelp in pain as you tried to maneuver over to him. But any embarrassment you might have felt washed away as he burst out laughing and kissed you gently on the mouth. 

You tugged at his shirt in annoyance, suddenly pissed that it was still in place, and he awkwardly pulled over his head. 

“Pushy,” he muttered, and you flicked him hard on the forehead. 

“Dick.” 

“No need to beg, sweetheart. You’ll get it soon.” 

You swallowed hard and your thighs clenched in anticipation, even as you rolled your eyes. 

Any annoyance you had flew from your head as he slipped a hand down your pants, the other coming up to tangle in your hair. Instead of touching you where you needed him to, he traced along your inner thighs, kissing your collarbone. 

“Suna,” you mumbled, suddenly impatient as you shifted your hips, and he grinned into your skin before you felt his fingers shove the thin fabric of your underwear aside. 

“Oh go--”  Your eyes rolled back as he slowly eased a digit into you, wiggling it as he slowly widened you up. 

“S-Shit,” you gasped, your hands grasping at his shirt as he added another finger, circling his thumb at the same time on your clit. 

“You’re already so fucking wet,” Suna grunted, kissing up your neck as you began to roll your hips, riding his hand. 

“Don’t stop,” you gasped, but he grinned wickedly and immediately pulled his hand from your pants. Your eyes widened in outrage, but you stopped when he held up his fingers, covered in your juices, and shoved them in his mouth. You almost came from the sight, clenching around nothing as your heart stuttered. 

“Fuck, you taste good,” he mumbled, and you felt his dick twitch beneath you. It was hard as a rock in his pants, and you could feel it straining against the fabric. It was pretty big, if the bulge was evidence enough. 

You quickly fumbled to get his zipper open, needing to have him inside you right now. His fingers were good, but you needed... 

Suna smacked your hands away. “Take off your pants,” he ordered, and you obliged, choosing to ignore how hot you got at his commanding tone. You could unpack that later. 

It was a struggle to get the fabric off in the small space, but finally you were back in his lap, and he was holding your hips, and his (long) cock was free of his pants. You reached down, stroking it slowly and rubbing your thumb gently across the tip, spreading the precum that had gathered already. 

“Jesus christ,” Suna said, his voice strained, and he twitched in your hand. 

“Jesus wouldn’t appreciate his name being used in this context.” 

“He’d be jealous of me right now.” 

“You’re definitely going to hell for that.” 

“And you’re not? You little slut.” Suna shoved his fingers in your mouth while his other hand fumbled with a condom which he tugged from his pocket. He slid it down over his length with expert speed, clearly having done this many times before, but you shoved the thought from your mind.

Suna held your hips tightly as you positioned yourself over him, helping you as you eased yourself down onto his dick. He was larger than your last boyfriend, and it burned for a moment as you adjusted to his size, but Suna held your face and stroked your hair as you breathed through it. “You’re such a good girl, taking my cock so well,” he groaned in your ear. “Fuck, you’re tight.” 

His praise made you clench around him, the pain easing away, and you rolled your hips experimentally. The friction on your clit and almost made you cum right away, and you let out a moan into his neck as your head dropped onto his shoulder. Holy motherfucking shit how did it feel so good...

Suna buried his face in your chest as you began to ride him, shifting your hips slowly as you felt his full length hitting points you didn’t even know existed. When he ran his tongue along your nipple, you let out an embarrassing noise and fucked him faster. 

Your legs began to burn, but Suna took over easily, thrusting up into you while you held onto his shoulders. Your moans and the sound of sex filled the car, and your hand slid across the fogged glass of the window as you grasped for anything to hold onto. You were so close to coming, you could feel it all the way down to your toes. 

“You’re doing so good, baby, you feel so good,” Suna groaned, reaching down to rub your clit, his tongue circling your nipple at the same time, and with his voice in your ear, it was enough to finally send you over the edge. You clenched around him, your mouth opening in a silent scream as you came hard all over his cock.  It was easily the best orgasm you’d had during sex, possibly the best ever. Suna didn’t take his eyes off you as you came apart, relishing in how it was him who put that expression on your face, and how only he was seeing you like this right now. 

“And you said flattery doesn’t work on you,” Suna laughed, but you couldn’t even make yourself glare at him. 

“Idiot.” 

You panted as you came down from your high, but Suna still wasn’t finished. You could tell he was getting close by the way his pace picked up and how he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he thrust up into you. His groans were deep and sexy in your ear, making your overstimulated clit throb as your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders. 

“F-fuckkkk…” He panted, kissing you again and shoving his tongue in your mouth. He held onto your hair, tangled around his fist, forcing you to lean your head back as he created hickies all along your throat.

He finally came with a groan, his cock twitching as he held onto you tightly, head falling on your shoulder. You both stilled, panting, and you couldn’t help the slow smile that tugged at your lips. For a moment you were too tired to move as you felt his dick soften inside you, so you gently stroked his hair instead. 

“Are you ok?” He murmured, finally lifting his head to meet your eyes. His cheeks were flushed, his hair a wreck, but you were sure you didn’t look much better. 

“I’m great,” you said, smiling. “Are you?”

 Suna blinked, looking dazed for a moment, but he nodded. 

You shifted, trying to get off his lap in the most graceful way possible, but your back slammed against the wheel and the car honked loudly. 

“Jesus!” You cursed, flinching, and Suna rolled his eyes. 

“You just woke the whole neighborhood.” 

“Ugh,” you glared at him as you pulled on your pants, readjusting your shirt to cover your chest once again. 

The car suddenly lit up as headlights pulled up behind you, and you whirled to face Suna. 

“Is that your friend? Wait, where’s your shirt?!” 

He wasn’t listening, casually tugging it over his head as he opened the driver’s side door. You heard a door slam from behind you, and then a guy with grey hair and dark tips leaned down to wave at you from Suna’s side. 

“Hi. Sorry it took so long, but I have the tire.” 

“Thanks,” Suna nodded, and then gestured to you. “Kita, this is Y/n L/n. Y/n, this is my friend Kita Shinsuke.” 

“Hi, nice to meet you,” you said, but you felt your stomach drop as Kita’s eyes went to the fogged windows, where your hand print was still visible. 

“Yeah…” He raised his eyebrows. “Nice to meet you too.” 

Suna crossed his arms, looking bored. “Wanna help me change the tire?” 

The two boys left you alone as they went to swap out the flat, and you worked on trying to get your face to stop burning. By the time Suna finally got back, you felt decently less embarrassed; he probably did this all the time, so for Kita, it was definitely nothing new. He probably wouldn’t even remember your name. 

“Hey,” you looked over at Suna in surprise as he slid back into the driver’s seat and gently grabbed your face, kissing you slowly. 

“What was that for?” You sighed when he pulled away. 

He shrugged, smirking. “Are you still hungry?” 

Part 1 

Part 2

[funkymbtifiction]

I was just reading about James Cameron on Wikipedia and it says there that he first studied physics, then switched to English and in the end he completely abandoned college and started working jobs like truck driver and wrote in his free time. It is always said that high Ni users know what they want to be in their life from very early age so why is it that one ENTJ was going from one thing to another like this?

Another example is Christopher Nolan who studied English Literature and in book about him he says: I had a very good English teacher who said to me one day, "You have to be about books the way you are about movies". Great advice, but I knew in my heart, I never would be. As soon as he said that, I thought, That's never going to happen, so I've got to fake it. " Faking it would mean enrolling at UCL to read English literature, after a year off in which he traveled, made short movies and did odd jobs." I wound up in English and humanities because I was interested in people and storytelling... "

High Ni users are supposed to be very straightforward about their goals so why didn't they just study filmmaking if they knew that was their calling?

I remember you mentioned something like this in your book, that Ni people know what they want but don't think they need to go study that particular thing.

I am a NFJ and I always had a specific vision of what I wanted to be but I was forced to study something different than my goal. If I wasn't I would definitely go study "my thing". But still it didn't put me off my track because I truly don't need to study it, I can achieve it on my own. My vision is not about a piece of paper it's about me impacting the world in this specific way (maybe I am now answering my own question 😂)

I know Chris belongs in the dependent stance in enneagram so his choice could have been because of outward reasons but Cameron is baffling me.

Is it that some of them have a very abstract vision of their future and can't figure out in their youth how it would manifest in reality?

I think I saw two questions here by ENFJ and INFJ saying that they struggle with knowing exactly what they want to be.

I would be very grateful if you would clear it all up, thank you!

It's fairly normal for people of every type to have multiple careers; my ENFJ friend started out in a women's shelter, now she is studying advanced psychology, and she has no real plan beyond that, she just 'knows' it will lead her to where she's meant to be, whatever that might be. My ENFJ father was an encyclopedia salesman, then sold radio ads, then worked in advertising, then worked in the news industry, and now has had a 30 year career as a magazine publisher (he finally found his calling and vision). Some Ni's know what they want to do and go after it; others don't and find it over time, as life opens doorways for them. You don't always immediately get what you want, either, if you are economically disadvantaged, forced to work a job you hate to pay the rent, or have a family to take care of.

Ni tends to want to look forward with an idea of what lies ahead, or to build toward something, but it isn't always a straightforward path so much as an inner trusting that you will reach the place where you are meant to be, once it becomes apparent that you belong there.

I think James Cameron is a 3w4. He has an unbelievable (maybe even toxic) tendency to work himself and everyone around him to exhaustion, while always managing to turn out a billion-dollar profit margin. I read something the other day, by some sarcastic journalist, about how by the time Avatar 2 comes out, nobody will care anymore and it will bomb. Dream on. Cameron is such a visionary storyteller, who always hauls out such incredible Se visuals, that if theaters are still in business when it drops, he might save them single-handed.

[inqilabi]

You've given me good advice in the past so i'll ask this:

Since about the time that I graduated high school, I knew that there was nothing for me in university, that there was no degree that I could get, or more specifically any career with that degree, that wouldn't conflict with my own morals and my true desires for life. I saw that it (a degree) was becoming worthless (not scarce in the job market), And on top of that it felt like a complete waste of 4+ years of precious youth, suffering through college. Anyways, I started and dropped out before the end of the first year because I really saw that it wasn't for me, and I disagreed with what was taught. So I went on and started to make the beginnings of a life that didn't require a degree. That was 2-3 years ago and I'm doing well. But lately, as I get closer to the age where I would have graduated by now if I had stayed, it's been on my mind. I see that lots of women have high cost-return degrees that make them feel financially secure because they know that they can always work for some wealthy corporation and be better off than they might be without it. That the men in their lives can never call them "uneducated", or "unintelligent" according to social standards. And even though I completely reject that path, I now worry if I made the wrong choice. If I'm doomed to poverty and struggle because I have no degree. It's not that I now desire the life that it gives, but that I now worry about never being able to afford a house or kids without getting married, which is something I don't want to do, especially not to a man who has more economic/social leverage than I do. My own mother was a stay at home mom with no college, and suffered with me in domestic violence because of it.

At first I thought that the abundance of degrees would make them worthless ("if these idiots can get them, what does it prove?"), but now it seems that the abundance only made them a ground-level standard ("if these idiots can get them, how much stupider are you than them to not have one?"). Ultimately I still don't want to get a degree, so I guess there are things that come with that choice that I have to learn to accept. It might just be a matter of mentality to keep my hope alive, but im not sure. What do you think?

Degrees are expensive but definitely the currency of this world. I mean for most fields it’s just a business for the schools & teaches you no valuable skills. The only degrees I think are useful are technical ones: math, physics & computer science. But you can get software jobs without a degree eg if you can self-teach although having a degree makes it easier to land your first role.

I would only do a degree at this point if it is a technical one which would help with a career switch, or if you want to pursue postgrad like law, medicine or phd which requires you to have undergrad. Outside of that it is not useful and your experience matters more.

[cheesecakeanon]

You totally didn’t ask for this detailed of an answer, but here I am offering you one anyway hahaha

For those of you who are in college or have graduated from college, how did you figure out what you wanted to major in?

I was fortunate enough to both be in a position to have some freedom in my major selection and to have parents who were pretty open about any/all ideas I had regarding college—the biggest expectation they had for me on that front was really just that I got a degree, and even then, I think if I had dropped out at some point, they would’ve been relatively on board with it provided I could give them a justifiable reason for doing so.

That said, I chose the programs I wanted to apply for based on things I could see myself doing for the rest of my life/for a decent portion of my life: HS History Education; Law/Political Science/Criminology; and Music Composition. The hard part came when I heard back from schools and had to choose which avenue to follow—majors in the performing arts usually require a boatload of credits, so if I wanted to double major in music + something else, there was a high likelihood it would take me more than four years to finish my degree. That wouldn’t have been a bad thing, but it was definitely a consideration that I felt I needed to keep in mind when trying to pick.

At the end of the day, I ended up choosing the second option among those three, my rationale being that it was the option that required the highest level of education to pursue, and that if I ever wanted to switch to either of the other options, it would be far easier to do so than it would be to suddenly up and decide to get a law degree. (Note: I now am working full time and going to law school in the evenings, and I may regret that decision, but we can talk about that can of worms later lol)

For those of you who are in college, or have graduated from college, and know what career they want to go into, how did you figure out what career you wanted to go into?

This answer sort of bleeds over from the last—I spent a lot of time in HS trying to figure out who I was and the legacy I wanted to leave in the communities that I’d been a part of. I’d always been overly involved in student organizations and extracurriculars, but my senior year, I really started trying to analyze the “what do you want to do?” question alongside the “what kind of legacy do you want to leave?” one, which is sort of how I ended up here.

When I was in middle school, I watched too much Criminal Minds and wanted to work for the BAU—I wanted to solve puzzles and catch the bad guys, if you will—so I did as much ‘research’ as a 12/13-year-old can claim to have done and announced to my parents that I’d be going to X school for Y programs and would then go work for that team by Z year. Somewhere in the preceding years to this ordeal, I’d been set on being a lawyer (at the time because ‘I liked arguing,’ which is a terrible reason to go to law school, kiddos, don’t do it) so the idea-based seed of practicing law had already been planted there.

When I was in high school, I found myself at this weird crossroad between learning about what lawyers can actually do to help people and change policy and in a completely different vein, wanting to create things that brought me and others joy. I’d given myself the freedom to write music and fiction (and fanfiction, let’s be honest) and discovered that I wasn’t half-bad at it, so when senior year came around, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to let go of the opportunity to keep doing so.

In my head, I’d basically told myself “it’s X career related to law or Y career related to music or Z career related to writing,” and I hadn’t let myself consider otherwise, but THEN!! Then I graduated college and was thrust into the working world—specifically, into a job that was definitely a good stepping stone to get from where I was to at least one of the potential career paths that I’d considered, but wasn’t creative at all—which was when I realized that none of those things needed to be distinct.

Obviously there’s something to be said here for time management and the fact that I’m on the younger end of adulthood—I don’t have the same responsibilities or obligations that someone with a mortgage or children would have—but in the middle of that first year of working, I came rather startlingly to the same conclusion I’d made when I was a senior in High School: I didn’t need a degree in music to make it. That sounds quick and pithy but the point was broader than that; if I wanted to eventually do something with the musical skills that I had, there were ways for me to keep honing them while I pursued the career path option(s) that absolutely, hands down, needed a professional degree. At some point in the future, when the law degree was there and I was actually qualified to do any/all of the things I mentioned earlier—that would be where the brilliant chaos of actually merging those things would kick in. In the meantime, I could write a novel, work full time during the day, go to law school at night, and release an album of original music all within a six month period of time (what can I say, July ‘20–Feb ‘21 was a wildly productive time for me) to see how that felt and if it could be sustainable.

Very long winded answers here, so…sorry about that, but the short version is the following: I thought I knew the career I wanted at 18 in a very binary, straight-laced sense, and it turns out I didn’t—or at least not entirely. I knew where I wanted to start, so I chose the majors that would qualify me for the career that was going to require the most educational/professional experience. Since graduating, I’ve been able to see that any/all of those careers can coexist, I just might have to create the career path on my own to make it happen.

I think this is exactly the kind of story I needed to hear. I think this story supports my plan really well. Thank you so much!

[d-l-dare]

“Memories”

Childhood is an interesting time. There are so many things that happen that easily slip your mind as you grow older. From your favorite toy to the episode of that show you'd watched so much you could quote it. But alongside the good things, there are bad memories that are best kept unremembered.

Do you ever have those times in your life where you feel the urge to do something spontaneous without a real reason as to why? This is exactly what was going on with me right now. I had just recently called up some of the friends I went to high school with, to ask them if they wanted to grab something to eat at Happy Harold's. They all agreed, as it happened to be their days off from work.

After heading over there, I thought it a little strange that we were the only customers in the building. Perhaps it was because it was so early. I checked my phone, it was nearly 10 a.m.

I saw my friends waving to me at a table in the back corner. It made me smile, all these years and they still want to sit with their backs turned to the rest of the world. I made my way over to them and dropped my purse on the chair beside me. My friends squealed with joy. They were clearly just as excited to see me as I was them. We went around the table, hugging each other at an awkward angle.

It had been about two years since we'd seen each other last. We parted ways not too long after graduation. We didn't exactly follow the same kind of career paths and went to different colleges. At least that was the plan.

As we were sitting around, catching up on life, it turns out they both ditched college after a few semesters. They wanted to change majors, but the school they were going to didn't offer what they wanted.

Not too long after our discussion with how our lives were going, we looked over to the funhouse area of the restaurant that they must have just recently put in. We all laughed at the idea of us going in there and playing, but we were also the only people in the building, who would be in there to judge us? My friends followed me inside.

We had a little fun climbing our way up the jungle gym that lead up to a slide. My friend, Veronica, slid down first, laughing all the way down. When she hit the bottom, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of her landing in the ball pit beneath us. I slid down next, followed by my friend, Ashley.

When I made it into the ball pit, I brought myself up just in time to get a foam ball to the face. I laughed and threw one right back at Veronica. We had some fun throwing the balls back and forth, until someone pointed out the little plastic house over in the corner. None of us remembered seeing it, but we got curious and made our way out of the pit and over to the house.

Veronica and I told Ashley to go in first to check it out. If it wasn't too bad inside, Veronica and I would follow her inside. So Ashley went in. We waited for a response from her. And waited. And waited. Silence.

We called to her, but there was no response. Veronica and I looked at each other and agreed, we'd both go in together. Perhaps Ashley was trying to scare us. We both squeezed through the small, plastic doorway and entered into a building that was much larger than it was on the outside. We all actually had room to freely move around. It was also very dark inside.

I felt around the wall for a light switch and flicked it on. I was in shock when I realized the house we were inside of was the house I grew up in as a little kid, long before I moved into this town. How did we get here?

Before us stood Ashley. She was unmoving and pointing at an object across from her on the floor. Veronica and I recognized it right away. It was the doll I had when I was a little girl. It had huge eyes and a small mouth that was twisted into an unnatural smile. The hair was brown and looked far to human like to be fake. It was dressed up in a white gown with little red hearts scattered across it. Tied around its waist was a red ribbon.

All three of us knew right away that we had grown up with it. We talked about it in high school. But we all hadn't seen it since we were little kids, what was it doing here?

"Hello there," the doll squealed in her familiar, joyful voice. "I want to play a game with you. The first person to find me makes it out of here alive."

We all looked at each other. I ran toward the door and gave it a jerk. It wouldn't open. We grabbed our phones. At least we tried to, they were still in our purses on the table outside.

The lights flickered for a moment and when we looked to where the doll sat, it was gone.

"Come find me!" her voice echoed through the house as we split up and frantically searched every room we could find in the building.

I searched the guest room while I heard someone practically tearing apart the bathroom next to me. I opened up the closet and saw a heap of clothes. Could it be in there?

I leaped on top of the pile and tossed back as many of the clothes I could grab. I dug and dug until I felt something hard. I pulled a few more shirts aside and there she was, my ticket out of there.

"Congratulations," the doll squealed, "you found me."

I began to feel dizzy as the room faded to black. Am I going to wake up outside?

***

I awoke in a dark room. Was I home? I tried to get up to turn the lights on when I realized I was unable to move. I saw my friends walk past me. They were so much bigger than I remember. I tried saying something to them but I was unable to speak. I could hear Ashley crying. "How could she just leave us like that? She just looked at us and walked out without giving us the chance to follow her outside." Veronica sat down next to her, hugging her. "Who knows, maybe that's why she brought us here in the first place." I wanted so badly to tell them I was right here but I was completely stuck, motionless. Veronica looked over at me and picked me up. 'Yes,' I thought, 'it's me!' She threw me across the room as hard as she could.

[psychologyofsex]

The True Story of How I Became a Sex Educator and Researcher

Our professional biographies tend to serve as a “highlight reel”—they only say the great things we’ve accomplished and don’t reveal the struggles, challenges, and uncertainties that went into building a career. To lift back the curtain on this, the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (SPSP) recently asked a number of scholars to submit their official bios along with their “unofficial bios” that reveal an extremely different version of the story with more twists and turns.

You can read some of the examples here. Although I didn’t participate in it, I thought it would be fun to do something similar on the blog. So here goes—I’ll start with my official bio, followed by the real, behind-the-scenes story.  

Official Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller 

Dr. Justin Lehmiller received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Purdue University. He is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar who has published more than 50 academic works to date, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality (now in its second edition) that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller's studies have appeared in all of the leading journals on human sexuality, including the Journal of Sex Research, Archives of Sexual Behavior, and The Journal of Sexual Medicine. 

Dr. Lehmiller has run the popular blog Sex and Psychology since 2011. It receives millions of page views per year and is rated among the top sex blogs on the internet. In 2019, he launched the Sex and Psychology Podcast. It ranks among the top sexuality podcasts in several countries and has been named one of “11 sex podcasts that will help you get better in bed” by Men’s Health. 

Dr. Lehmiller has been interviewed by numerous media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, CNN, The Atlantic, The Globe and Mail, and The Sunday Times. He has been named one of 5 "Sexperts" You Need to Follow on Twitter by Men's Health and one of the "modern-day masters of sex" by Nerve. Dr. Lehmiller has appeared on the Netflix series Sex, Explained, he has been on several episodes of the television program Taboo on the National Geographic Channel, and he has been a guest on Dr. Phil. Dr. Lehmiller has also appeared on numerous podcasts and radio shows, including the Savage Lovecast, the BBC’s Up All Night, and several NPR programs (1A, Radio Times, and Airtalk). 

He is a popular freelance writer, penning columns and op-eds for major publications, including The Washington Post, Playboy, USA Today, VICE, Psychology Today, Men’s Health, Politico, and New York Magazine. He has also interviewed several prominent authors, journalists, and psychologists about their work for his blog and podcast, including Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Lisa Ling, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, and bestselling authors Christopher Ryan (Sex at Dawn) and Lisa Taddeo (Three Women). 

Unofficial Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

When Justin’s parents asked him what he wanted to study in college, he said “psychology.” He had taken a couple of psychology courses in high school that he found to be absolutely fascinating; however, his parents discouraged him from this because getting into a PhD program was tough and uncertain and, if that didn’t work out, they didn’t see much potential in a Bachelor’s degree in psychology. They encouraged him to pursue a career in occupational therapy (OT) instead because a family friend said “they needed more men in the field,” and also because his parents saw it as a path to job security with a pretty good paycheck.

He applied to a 5-year combined Bachelor’s/Master’s program in OT at Gannon University and was admitted. Incidentally, he was one of two men in the entire program. He spent a year and a half in it and made straight As in every course, including biochemistry and physics—but he wasn’t happy. He recognized the importance of OT to society, but it wasn’t his passion. After showing his parents that he was taking college seriously and earning good grades, they allowed him to switch his major to psychology.

Upon completing his Bachelor’s degree, he only applied to Master’s programs in psychology because he didn’t think he had the chops to get into a PhD program right away. The inferiority complex was strong in this one, so he didn’t even try. He applied and was accepted to Villanova University’s Master’s program in experimental psychology. He was not competitive enough of a candidate to receive an assistantship initially, although he eventually received one after another student dropped out.  

He really wanted to study social psychology at Villanova, but there was only one social psychologist on staff at the time and several interested students. The only option for him was to beg one of the clinical psychologists to let him do a social psychology study for his Master’s thesis. 

As he began looking for PhD programs to apply to, he met Dr. Chris Agnew at a meeting of the American Psychological Association. Chris was studying romantic relationships and Justin thought that sounded like a fun thing to spend his life doing. Plus, Chris was a super cool guy who seemed like a fantastic mentor. He applied and was admitted to Purdue’s social psychology program, although he was initially waitlisted (and rejected from all but one other program). Justin’s plan was to get his doctorate and become a college professor. Teaching and research sounded like things he could probably do.

Justin was assigned to teach a Health Psychology course at Purdue during his first year. He had never taught a class before and quickly realized that he was very uncomfortable with public speaking. The class was a disaster. Attendance dropped 60-70% within the first couple of weeks. He had no idea what he was doing and dreaded going to class each day—and he received poor evaluations in the end.  

Around the same time, Justin submitted his first academic paper to a journal, it was promptly rejected and came with this review: “This manuscript is fatally flawed and of marginal utility, which is a shame because potentially interesting questions could have been asked given the topic and timing of the research. The tone of this manuscript represents the worst in scientific misconstrual, particularly because the claims are silly, wrong, or not warranted by the data.” Justin clearly sucked at both teaching and research—and if he couldn’t do those things well, how would he ever become a college professor? 

He also started hearing horror stories from advanced students in his program who couldn’t find jobs and were sticking around for 6 or 7 years in the hope of eventually landing a job—any job. All of this led Justin to question what the hell he was doing with his life. Maybe he should have listened to his parents after all? Chris encouraged Justin to stick with it, though, as did his friends and mentors. 

The next year, Justin got assigned to be a teaching assistant for a human sexuality course taught by Dr. Janice Kelly. It changed his life. He had to lead weekly discussion sections with students and answer their sex questions (a subject he knew next to nothing about, having attended Catholic schools most of his life). He read about sex extensively and instantly knew he had found what he really wanted to do with his career. He saw it as something fun and interesting—but also a way that he could make a real difference. He realized how little most people actually know about sex, and how education can correct so many harmful myths and misconceptions. 

An opportunity to teach his own human sexuality class opened up the following year, and he took it. This time around, teaching was different—he was passionate about the subject and the students were, too. He had no problems with attendance. He ended up teaching this course six times before he graduated and eventually received a teaching award for it. He found that he loved being a sex educator. 

He also found a solution to his public speaking anxiety: he started taking a beta-blocker (propranolol) on public speaking days, which removed physiological symptoms of anxiety. This allowed him to feel like himself in front of a crowd and, after just a few months, he no longer needed to take the medication—the anxiety had gone away completely. 

He started conducting his own sex research, too, including a series of studies with Dr. Kelly on friends with benefits. His research skills improved and his studies started getting accepted instead of rejected.   

He eventually landed a job at Colorado State University as an assistant professor, where he stayed for three years and continued his work as a sex educator and researcher. His partner couldn’t get a job in the area and had just taken a job in Boston, so Justin applied for every academic job within two hours of Boston. He was turned down for all of them. As a last-ditch effort, he applied for a teaching position at Harvard but had absolutely no confidence in it. He almost didn’t submit the application, but his partner encouraged him to do so. Justin had applied to Harvard’s PhD program previously and was rejected—if they didn’t want him as a student, why the heck would they want him as a teacher? 

To his great surprise, he got the job at Harvard, where he stayed for three years. However, he had given up his tenure-track job in Colorado for a teaching position in Boston with no job security. So he decided to reinvent himself just in case things didn’t work out. In his spare time, he started a blog, wrote a human sexuality textbook, and became a freelance media writer. Communicating about sex science to the public became his hobby and was going to be his backup career in case the college professor thing didn’t work out. 

Eventually, Justin’s partner wanted to move to Indianapolis for a job opportunity, so they left Boston. But Justin didn’t have a job at first and his backup plan wasn’t yet enough to be a full-time job. He knew the Kinsey Institute was nearby, so he drafted a letter to the director in the hope of establishing a connection, but he never sent it. He had a severe case of imposter syndrome and did not feel accomplished or experienced enough to have anything to do with what he saw as the premier hub for sex research in the world.

Much to his surprise, the associate director of the Institute reached out to him after he moved to Indiana to explore opportunities for working together. It was actually his hobby/backup plan that caught their eye—they were interested in working together to disseminate sex science to the public and were impressed with what he had done with his blog and social media.

Justin affiliated with Kinsey, but also jumped back on the tenure track with a job as the Director of the Social Psychology Program at Ball State University, which fortuitously opened up about 4 months after he moved to Indianapolis. After 3.5 years, he decided to leave full-time academics and do his own thing. His science communication hobby had managed to grow into a full-time job and it was no longer feasible to do that and academics. Plus, he found that the science communication work was really where his passion was. So, the backup plan officially became “the plan.” 

Justin now spends every day finding new ways to help educate and inform the public about the science of sex. He’s still not sure how things ended up this way, but wouldn’t trade his current job for anything. 

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and Psychology on Facebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Image Source: 123RF

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[get-your-fics]

Whatever He Wants

Summary: You’re an intern at Wayne Enterprises, and you mistakenly catch Bruce Wayne’s eye.

Pairing: dark!Bruce Wayne x reader

Warnings: Smut, rape/non-con, sexual harassment, language

You stood in the back corner of the executive-conference-room-turned-work-party with a drink in your hand and your arm folded protectively around your waist. The air was filled with chatter and laughter, and you stared at the clusters of business execs and board members who all got paid ten times what you did. It was supposed to be a casual affair, but casual meant something completely different at Wayne Enterprises than it did to you. You felt out of place in your plain slacks and button up blouse. Everyone was wearing what they had worn to work that day, but that meant the women wore Louboutin stilettos and designer dresses, and the men wore two piece Givenchy suits. It looked like a casting call for New York Fashion Week models more than a work party.

Being an intern, you didn’t have many friends at Wayne Enterprises, especially not ones of this high of status. In fact, your work only ever required you to talk to one person, and you hadn’t spotted him yet...

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N)!” You snapped your head to see your boss Lucius Fox walking up to you. Spoke too soon. “Shouldn’t you be on a coffee run somewhere?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, shut up.” You knocked your shoulder playfully into his.

Contrary to his joke, Lucius was one of the few bosses you had while interning that didn’t make you fetch Starbucks orders or make copies the entire time. He actually taught you things that would apply to your career later in life, and sometimes he would even let you handle projects he oversaw. For someone in this cutthroat line of work, he was surprisingly nice and levelheaded. He never talked down to you or acted you like you were less than him. He treated you more like his coworker than anything, and you severely respected him as your mentor.

He opened his arms, and you gave him a big bear hug. “How are you?” He stepped away. “Why are you lurking in the corner by yourself?” he asked.

“Waiting for you to show up, don’t you know?” you taunted him.

“Oh, I’m flattered.” He pressed a hand to his chest. “But relax tonight. Mingle, meet some people.”

“Right, ‘cause who wouldn’t want to talk to a broke college intern in a room full of world class business execs?” You scoffed.

Lucius opened his mouth to speak, but he never got the chance to as a tall figure approached. Bruce Wayne strolled up to you, dressed in a black Yves Saint Laurent suit. His jet black curls were parted and slicked, and his dark, brown eyes were sharp like a hawk’s. “Lucius.” He gave him a nod of acknowledgement.

“Bruce.” He met his gaze before shooting you a look out of the corner of his eye.

Bruce Wayne was an absolute foil to Lucius Fox. He walked around like he owned the place even though he had just recently come into his inheritance of the company within the last year. He would strut into Lucius’s office and completely ignore you most days. On the days he didn’t, he would send you on meaningless errands and talk to you like how an owner would talk to his dog. He claimed the title of advisor and CEO, although he hardly did more than prance around and flaunt his abundance of wealth and condescend to anyone who had the unfortunate displeasure of crossing his path.

He turned his head, and his dark eyes locked with yours, scalding you. “Mr. Wayne.” You clasped your hands in front of you and kept your tone passive and neutral.

His eyes narrowed into slits as he looked you up and down. You felt like you were under examination. “Intern, I have some papers in my office I need filed.”

Your eyes widened. He didn’t just... did he?

“Bruce,” Lucius’s tone was sickly sweet and artificial, a warning, “it’s a work party. Nobody’s doing any work right now.”

He laughed like he had said a joke. “Like she does work any other day of the week? All she does is sit there and watch you type on your computer.”

Your hands clenched into fists at your side, and you bit your tongue. He was acting like you weren’t even there. You so badly wanted to tell him off for speaking to you in such a rude manner, but you knew better than to do so. As much as you hated it, he was your boss, even more so than Lucius, and he could have your ass thrown out of the Wayne Enterprises building any time he liked.

“Come on, Bruce. Let her enjoy the party. You should enjoy it too,” he suggested.

His face remained stone cold and unfeeling. He switched his gaze to you. “Let’s go. I’ll show you where they are.”

He spun around on the heel of his polished dress shoe, and you knew better than to disobey him. Lucius let out a sigh next to you. “Have fun, intern,” he accentuated the last word, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Oh, you know I will.” You took one last look at Lucius’s smile full of blinding white teeth and chased after Bruce. You hurried to close the distance between the two of you before he could realize you had tarried.

You turned out of the conference room and into the hall as you followed him. Your flats slapped against the glossy, marble floors as you approached the elevators. He jammed the button displaying an up arrow with his thumb, and a second later, a resounding ding sounded as a red light flashed above the elevator to your left. The sleek, metal doors of the elevator slid open.

He placed his hand on your lower back. “Get in.” You stiffened under his touch. His hand moved down until it was resting just above the curve of your ass. You were about to step out of his grasp when he gave you a nudge with his hand towards the elevator.

You caught yourself on the frame of the elevator door before you could tumble. You thought you heard a deep chuckle behind you, and you gritted your teeth before walking into the elevator. He got in beside you, entering with grace and elegance, and hit the button for the top floor of the building. It lit up as the doors clicked into place, and the elevator jolted as it started its ascension.

Silence settled over the elevator, and you could feel it eating you up inside. You fidgeted and shifted your weight from foot to foot as Bruce stood beside you, stoic. The prospect of spending time alone with him made dread form deep in the pit of your stomach, although you didn’t mind getting away from the party. You were slightly grateful for having an excuse to escape, if only he hadn’t have been that excuse.

The elevator halted, and a moment later, the doors opened. Bruce stepped out first, and you followed after him on instinct. You walked down a corridor before stopping in front of a tall door. He fished his keycard out of the pockets of his suit pants and swiped it through the scanner. The red dot changed to green, and he turned the handle without a problem. He pushed the door open and stood to the side, gesturing you inside.

You walked into his office. All of the lights were off. He stepped in behind you and let the door fall shut. With a flick of his finger on the light switch, the dim, overhead lights cast a warm, yellow glow down on his office. You had never been in here before, but it looked just how you expected it would. The walls were lined with floor to ceiling bookcases, the shelves filled with neatly stacked, color coded books. A grandiose, black desk was in the middle of the room, a overstuffed, tufted desk chair on one side and a plain one on the other. You assumed whoever had sat in the plain chair was either really lucky or really unfortunate. But the most breathtaking part of his office was the wall behind his desk that consisted of large windows looking out onto Gotham City’s skyline. You could see every neon light, every digital billboard, and every headlight of the cars stuck in traffic several levels below your feet. You wanted to press your hands and face to the glass and stare out the window all night, but resisted the urge to.

“You have a beautiful view,” you broke the silence, your voice wavering.

Bruce didn’t say anything. He merely walked past you, and you swore you felt his hand brush up against your ass. But it must’ve just been your imagination. You shook off the feeling as he got out a stack of loose papers piled a mile high. He dropped it onto the desk with a solid thud.

“Here’s the papers.” He maneuvered around the desk and pulled out the bottom drawer. “And here’s where you can file them.”

You walked over and peered down at what he was talking about. The bottom drawer of the desk was a built in filing cabinet. It was separated by multiple dividers all a different color. They each had a tab with a letter going from A to Z in bold, black font and a manila folder behind each divider.

“I want all of them sorted by the first letter of their last name.” He put his hands on his hips. “Think you can manage that?”

You quirked a brow, but his face was hard and unreadable. Was he joking? You learned how to do this in middle school. “Yeah, I can,” was all you said, however.

“Good. Then get started.” You thought that he would leave, but he remained stationary where he was.

You grabbed a paper off of the top of the stack and scanned it with your eyes. It looked to be contact information of some sort. You found the person’s last name and bent over the filing cabinet. Out of the corner of your eye, you thought you saw Bruce lean over as well, as if he was trying to get a peek down your shirt. You fixed your blouse so it covered more of your cleavage and shrugged it off. You were just paranoid, and now your mind was playing tricks on you. You searched for the corresponding letter and filed the paper into the appropriate folder.

You still felt his presence behind you. Maybe he was just trying to make sure you knew what you were doing. He didn’t trust you to file a few papers correctly? “Like that?” you asked, hoping the slight edge to your voice made it clear you wanted to be left alone.

“Yeah, just like that,” he answered. His voice sounded breathier and lower than it had before.

That’s when you felt it: two hands on your hips, and something hard brush up against your ass. You immediately retracted and turned around, your back bumping into the desk. You stared at him with wide eyes. “What the hell?”

Unfortunately, your position allowed him to trap you between him and the desk. “You’re such a tease, you know that?” He pushed a strand of hair behind your ear and pressed an openmouthed kiss to your neck. “Walking around this office with your nose in the air like you’re better than everyone, like you’re better than me.”

He nipped at the skin on your throat, and you squeaked. You grabbed him by his shoulders and shoved him back far enough so he wasn’t touching you. What was he talking about? He was the one who thought he was better than everyone! “I... I think I should go.”

You made to slip between him and the desk, but he wrapped his fingers around your wrist and jerked you back. “You’re not going anywhere, not until I show you where you belong.”

You furrowed your brows. “What are you doing?” It was becoming increasingly hard to hide the panic in your voice. You tugged against his hand on you, but his grip held strong. “Let go of me!” You struggled to break out of his grasp. “Help!”

“Go ahead, scream. Most of the floors below us are empty. No one will hear you.” He pushed you back against the desk and held your body flush against him. His erection was now painfully evident as it strained against the fabric of his pants and poked you in the stomach.

Your eyes widened with fear as you realized no one was coming to save you. Now that flight was no longer an option, you decided to fight. You raised your free hand and clawed at him with a snarl. However, he caught your hand before it neared the smooth, pale skin of his cheek. Your vengeful expression fell, and his lips curled into a devious smirk.

“We’ll have to work on your behavior,” his hold on your wrists was tightening, his fingers painfully digging into your skin, “especially towards your boss.” He leaned in and buried his nose in your hair, inhaling your scent. His hips bucked against yours, and you yelped when you felt how hard he was.

“I’ll... I’ll tell someone!” you threatened, your voice shaky and uneven. “I’ll tell-”

He reared back. “Who are you going to tell? Lucius?” he cut you off. “He can’t do anything. Besides, I’ll just fire you, and you’ll look like you’re making up shit to save face.” He took the skin of your neck between his lips and sucked, clearly aware of the power he had over you.

You bit down on your lip to hold in any moans that wanted to escape as your body tensed against him. You didn’t want to lose your job - couldn’t lose your job. It was the first internship you had found that you had actually enjoyed, not to mention being an intern as a freshman in college at Wayne Enterprises was a major feat. You knew you would have to give into him eventually. It was inevitable; he was Bruce Wayne. Everything got handed to him on a silver platter. Anything he wanted, he got, no matter the cost.

“Please, don’t fire me,” you squealed. You despised how pitiful and helpless you sounded.

He pulled away and cupped your face in his hands. “Oh, you want to be a good girl for me now?” You were forced to stare directly into his eyes. They were dark with lust, and his pupils were extremely dilated. They looked completely black.

You sucked in a breath before your next statement. “What will you do for me if I do?”

He grinned like a wolf barring its teeth. “Now, you’re talking.” He moved his leg in between yours and pressed his thigh right against the sensitive area in your crotch. You gasped at the pleasure that ran through you like a chill as warmth pooled in your gut. “I’ll double your salary,” he rocked against you, causing his thigh to rub your clit, “and guarantee you a job in four years time.”

“Do you like doing this?” You tried to seem tough despite your wavering voice. “Forcing yourself on vulnerable interns?”

He chuckled at that. “Lucky for you, you’re my first. There’s just something about you I find so... irresistible.” He ran this thumb over your bottom lip, and your jaw went slack. You were the same age, but right now he seemed so much older than you. “So, do we have a deal?”

You were absolutely aching now. As much as you hated the wetness that gathered in between your thighs, it was growing unbearable. You didn’t think you could stand it any longer, and his offer was pretty much impossible to pass up on. Securing a job at Wayne Enterprises would set you on a good career path for the rest of your life.

You nodded. “Okay.” Your voice cracked.

His grin widened, and his eyes darkened until they swallowed all light that hit them. “Good.”

He crashed his lips against yours. You were so taken aback that you bumped back into the desk, causing the stack of papers to crash to the ground. They scattered across the floor, and some floated in the air before slowly descending and coming to rest. He didn’t seem to care and continued to move his lips against yours. You closed your eyes and tried to relax into the kiss. He tilted his head to the side and slipped his tongue into your mouth, quickly gaining dominance over yours. He tasted like whatever drink he had been sipping on downstairs at the party: sweet, but bitter. You loathed the fact that you enjoyed the taste and found yourself yearning for more.

He disconnected your lips, a flush of red across his pale features and one dark lock out of place on his forehead. “Get on the desk,” he whispered huskily, his lips tickling the shell of your ear.

You did as he said and grabbed the lip of the desk, pushing yourself on top of it. You laid down on your back and hugged your knees to your chest. You caught sight of the red marks he had left on your wrists and rubbed at them. You rolled out your sore wrists, knowing you would find bruises there later.

He grabbed your blouse and tore it open, causing buttons to pop off and fly everywhere. You listened as they bounced off of the desk and onto the floor. He covered the cups of your bra with his hands and left a trail of wet kisses over the swells of your breasts. He moved his hands lower to the zipper on your pants. He pulled it down and practically ripped your pants and your underwear off of you. He pushed your legs apart, and you became aware of how exposed you were. You felt like you were on display for him.

He stared down at your pussy like he was mesmerized and ran a finger through your folds. “You’re so wet, all for me.” You felt your cheeks grow hot with embarrassment. He slipped his finger inside of you, and you gasped as the burning stretch gave way to pleasure. “Don’t pretend you don’t want this.”

He got on his knees and wrapped his lips around your clit as he continued to pump his finger in and out of you. The sensation was too much for you, and you couldn’t stop the filthy stream of expletives that spilled from your lips. You needed something to grab onto, so you threaded your fingers through his hair. He moaned against you as you roughly yanked on his dark curls, the vibrations only aiding the arousal pulsing through you.

Just as you felt your climax building, he pulled away. You almost whined at the loss, but stopped yourself by biting down your tongue. He ran his tongue over his lips, licking your juices that dripped off of his chin, and sucked your slick off of his fingers. He shrugged off his suit jacket and loosened the tie around his neck. Then, he reached down and undid his own zipper. You watched as he pushed his pants and boxers over his hips, freeing his straining erection. You got a good look at just how big he was, precum dripping off of the red tip.

He leaned over you so his face was mere inches from yours. You felt the head of his cock at your entrance. He pushed in, and a squeak fell from your lips. You felt like you were being pulled apart in different directions. You sat up on your elbows and spread your legs wider to alleviate some of the tension. He pushed you back down and pressed his chest flush against yours. He finally pushed in to the hilt, and you squeezed your eyes shut.

He pulled out of you only to thrust back in with a sharp snap. You yelped, your walls still too tight to accommodate him comfortably. “Relax, intern,” he purred, his tone strangely soothing. He planted one arm on the desk next to you to steady himself as he set a pace. “Fuck, I knew you’d feel amazing.” Sweat gathered on his brow as his lips parted in rapture. The sight made your stomach crawl, and you looked away. He grabbed your chin, squishing your cheeks, and turned your head back to face him.

He forced you to stare into his eyes as he fucked you. They were like two blackholes, endless, bottomless voids that you could fall into. He pounded into you faster now, and you could feel your orgasm starting to build once again. His white button up clung to his chest with sweat where your bodies met, and the creaking of the desk under your weight filled your ears. Your breaths came shorter now, and there was no stopping your desperate mewls. He grunted in time with his thrusts, the head of his cock hitting that spot in you just right each time he pushed in to his max.

You were on the cusp of your orgasm as you latched onto his shoulders. “Are you going to cum for me, intern?” he almost sneered at you.

You wanted to curse him out, but found that your brain couldn’t form any words. All you could do was let out a breathy sigh and nod your head. You locked eyes with him as your pussy constricted around his cock, drawing a high-pitched whine from you. Your juices spilled out of you and coated your thighs as you came. You arched your spine, the back of your head painfully connecting with the desk, and curled your toes as every nerve ending in your body was set on fire. You raked your nails up his back under his shirt, leaving goosebumps and red, irritated skin in your wake.

He groaned and sped up. “Gonna fill you with my cum,” he muttered and licked at your breasts. “You want that, intern? For me to cum inside you?”

You couldn’t say anything; you were still coming down from your high. He growled and pushed your knees up by your shoulders. He thrust into you all the way as he came, spilling his warm seed into you. He stilled on top of you, his thighs twitching and his face frozen in ecstasy. Then he pulled out of you, and you could feel his cum drip out of your sore pussy.

He collapsed on top of you, burying his face in your hair. You both stayed like that for a moment as you recovered from your climaxes. Then, he pushed himself up and covered your face in kisses. It was a strangely sweet and intimate gesture for the harsh fucking he had just done to you.

He got completely off of you and pulled his pants up, zipping his fly. You slowly sat up, your head spinning. You looked for your discarded pants on the floor and eventually located them through your blurry gaze. You reached for the lacy underwear sitting on top, but a hand snatched them out of your grasp before you could get to them. Bruce brought them up to his nose and sniffed, a mischievous smirk coming over his face. “Consider these assurance of our agreement.” He dangled them from his finger tauntingly before stuffing them in his back pocket.

You grimaced as you pulled on your pants, the material sticking to your legs. You didn’t know why you were getting dressed; there was no way you could go back to the party looking how you did. Your hair was mussed, your lips red and swollen, and you were covered in sweat and saliva and cum. You looked thoroughly fucked, and everyone would know what you were up to with your boss in his office. It wouldn't be hard to come to some conclusions.

Speaking of... “So, when will I get my raise?” you asked as nonchalantly as possible. You tried to casually lean back against the desk. You could see an outline of your entangled bodies in sweat on the surface.

You watched as he adjusted his tie. “Probably by the end of this weekend.” He fixed the collar of his button up. “However, it is going to come directly out of my personal bank account. Not that that’s a problem, but I think that I should be the one getting the benefits of your hard work instead of Lucius.” He smoothed out the fabric of his shirt with his hands. “So you’ll be interning under me for now on.”

Your heart sank to your stomach. “Wha... what?”

He smirked. “You heard me, intern.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his chest, pressing a kiss to your matted hair. He had gotten the last laugh. “It looks like me and you will be working very, very close together.”

[hoshizoranoseirei-a]

Hyunki entered the bar completely done with the day eveyone felt his entrance as he walked to the bar. “Can I have a scotch. Clean and make it the best youo have.” He leaned on his arm as the bartender poured his drink. As he waited his thoughts ran past the events of the day and reminded him why he was in the bar to begin with. He could hear the clicking of pool balls and walked over to the tables. “You fellas mind if I join in?” He raised his glass and took a sip from his drink easily swallowing. 

Jae had just needed a calm night. So he’d gone to teh pool hall down the street from his apartment, sipping a bourbon as he played pool by himself. HEaring a voice, the male turned, running a hand through his hair. The table next to him was refusing to let someone join, and he nodded at the male. “You’re free to join me.” he offered, moving to chalk the end of his stick again. 

Hyunki tilted his glass in thanks and approached the table, setting his drink on the side of it. “The name’s Hyunki. You?” He chalked his own stick and looked at the man in front of him. He was far beyond the word handsome and he held himself like he knew it. Hyunki could tell this would be fun and settled in for a good time.

Jae found the other greatly attractive, and he could see the confidence. With a grin, he took another drink of his bourbon. “Jae.” He answered. “You play much?” He asked. Pool was something he’d started a year ago at his company. He wasn’t the best, but he was good.

Hyunki knew better than to fall for attractive men without knowing which way they swung. ‘Been ther, done that.’ He thought as he watched Jae sip his drink. “Not really, I spend most of my time in the office. I’m a biochemist so not much time to hang out at bars. I just had a bad day today is all. I don’t even know how to play really, those guys missed a chance for free money.” He spoke the last part loud enough that the other table could hear. He shrugged and took another drink of his drink. “How does this work again?”

The halfling smiled at the other male, giving an obvious once over. “I play a little. Mostly during long days.” he mused. “I don’t play for money, mostly for fun.”  he answered, going to set up the balls in the triangle. Taking the white ball, he set it at the opposite end and lined the stick up to make a shot. “Just make the white ball hit another to make it in a pocket.” he said, eyes lining up and taking the shot. The balls broke with a loud crack, scattering among the table, though none made it into the slots. “The first one to make a certain style of the balls shoots to get those in. As long as you make shots, you can go until you miss.” he explained, twirling the stick around his hand before going to take another drink. “You make a shot with the other player’s ball and it’s their turn. 

“Yeah, I’m just gonna hit whatever. I don’t care. I just want to let off some steam.” Hyunki sipped his drink again and sat on the side of the table. “Sorry if that bothers you, I could leave you alone if it does.” He let out a sigh and thought back to why he was here in the first place. He had been working on a new project with his boss when he had seen the one person that made him want to drink until he was numb. The one person who knew he wasn’t straight. The one and only person Hyunki had embarrassed himself n front of. Hyunki swallowed the rest of his drink and turned his attention back to the person at the table with him. Jae was better looking than Hangyeom but it wasn’t just that. Something about Jae was different and Hyunki liked it, though he refused to believe that was the case. 

A fight broke out at the bar and Hyunki winced as glasses and bottles were being broken everywhere. “Oops, my bad. Should’ve been a bit more careful.” With a deep breath he centered his emotions and brought any residuele bad energy back to himself. “My fault.” He mumbled under his breath, smoothing out the few wrinkles in his shirt. He looked back at Jae and smiled. “Sorry.”

Jae watched the other, shrugging. “No big deal. I could use some company.” He felt the surge of energy, eyes briefly flickering around the pupil. He tilted his head as there was suddenly a fight, then hummed thoughtfully as it suddenly stopped. He subconsciously fiddled with the protection bracelet his father had made and given him the entire time, eyes watching Hyunki. “Are you okay?” he wondered aloud. He moved to stand closer to the table. “It looks like you might need more than one game of pool.” he mused, eyes glancing towards the bar where the mess was being cleaned up. 

Hyunki chuckled a bit. “Yeah, maybe. Real bad day.” Hyunki raised an eyebrow at Jae when he spotted the bracelet. “A protection band? I wear mine as a anklet.” He lifted his slacks just enough to see the item decorating his ankle. “Easier to trick people when needed and I don’t get yelled at when I’m at work.” He smiled a bit and dropped his pants leg so that it brushed his dress shoes lightly. Hyunki mindlessly pulled out a jade hairpin and spun it between his fingers. It had been passed down through his family for generations and given that he was an only child he inherited it instead of a female. It served as a second nature to spin the hair piece when he thought he might lose control, he’d been doing it since college. “Pool might not help at all.”

Jae gave a glance at his wrist. “My father made it for me when I was young.” he replied. “I never take it off.” he shrugged. The bracelet was the only consistent jewelry in his career, though he did have a love for earrings. He watched the other man for a moment. “Crowds don’t usually help after a bad day. The park is quiet and just about empty this time of night. We could go there?” he asked. “Sometimes fresh air and quiet helps me out.”

Hyun-Ki shrugged. “Might as well.” After paying for their drinks, he followed Jae out of the bar and to the park walking along the paths until they came to a bench. They sat down and Hyun-Ki let out a loud sigh. He pulled his legs up in front of him. “It’s always the people you least expect to see that show up out of nowhere.” He wished he still had a drink and that he could just drown everything in alcohol so he could forget, at least for a little while.

Jae walked alongside Hyunki, letting himself relax at the familiar surroundings of nature. The witch half of his blood liked nature the most, it relaxed and gave him the energy he needed in his day to day. Moving to sit next to the other, he leaned back, hands tucked into his jacket until Hyunki spoke. Looking at the other, he tilted his head, red hair falling into his face. “Ex, or something more complicated?” He asked.

“More like the only guy I have ever fallen in love with but found out he was straight after completely embarrassing myself in front of him.” He spun the jade hairpin again. “Oh, and he had a girlfriend too.” He laughed at himself. “I spent the next two years drinking my problems away before refocusing on my degree. I never expected him to show up at my job and start asking questions about me and my life right now. Plus I have to work on my current project with him because his company is helping with the costs and such.” Hyun-Ki really wished he had chosen a different line of work but he loved what he did even if that meant that he had to work with the one person who had seen him at his weakest. He stopped spinning the hairpin and pointed it at Jae. “So I would say more complicated than an ex.” 

Jae whistled low. “Yeah, I would definitely call that more complicated.” he mused, looking away from Hyunki as he nodded. “I would say ignore him, but honestly, work puts us all in a situation we don’t like at one point or another.” He licked his lips as he thought. He had been put in several awkward positions given his own sexuality, being one of few bisexual idols out caused a few awkward situations. Somehow, sitting with Hyunki didn’t feel awkward. “A game of pool may not be a whole lot, but maybe some fun that’s a little more exerting would help?” he offered, slowly looking back at the other. 

Hyun-Ki bit his lip, picking up on what his companion was implying. He turned his head and took in every detail he could that made up the man next to him. “Depends on what you have in mind.” Hyun-Ki placed the hairpin he still held back into his pocket and turned to face Jae fully, a smirk decorating his face as his eyebrow shot up. “What exactly is it you want, mister?” 

Jae gave a an arched brow, cocking his head to one side. “I mean, you’re absolutely beautiful. And I’m sure we could both use some stress relief from time to time. I don’t see why we can’t help each other.” he offered. “My place isn’t far. We can switch numbers after and hook up whenever one or both of us needs a release.” He shrugged, moving to brush some of Hyunki’s hair from his face. “What do you say?”

Hyun-Ki stood up and brushed his shirt to get the non-existent wrinkles out of it. He turned to Jae and waved his arm in a lead the way manner. “After you my good sir.” Hyun-Ki smiled as Jae walked in front of him, gladly watching as he walked away a bit before following. “Where exactly do you live? Exactly how far is not far?” Hyun-Ki asked bumping lightly into Jae as he walked side by side with him. 

Jae paused when he noticed Hyunki was slightly behind him, turning to look back. “I live a few blocks away. Had a long day at work and didn’t want to go home yet, so I went to the bar.” he answered, glancing at the other as they walked the path back to where his loft was. “Happy I did, too.” he mused, laughing quietly as Hyunki nudged him. “We’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Hyun-Ki nodded and silently walked next to Jae as they progressed to their destination. He was beginning to second guess his decision but pushed any doubts to the back of his mind, just wanting to forget about Hangyeom for the night. He fell slightly behind Jae as his thoughts wondered, merely following Jae back to his home as an instinct. When Jae stopped Hyun-Ki almost bumped into him “Sorry.”

Jae noticed the way Hyunki went quiet, but didn’t comment on it, moving to unlock the door and turn the living room light on. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, hmm?” he asked, reachign up to run his fingers through Hyunki’s hair. 

Hyunki leaned forward and whispered against Jae’s ear. “Do you really want to know?” He din’t really plan on telling Jae what he was thinking, he was buying himself some time to think of a convincing lie. He was not going to screw up this chance to get his thoughts of Hangyeom to vanish. He ran a hand down Jae’s chest, letting come to rest on the other’s hip as he thought frantically for a good lie.

[thejarleyfic]

finding home. 1/?.

who: Marley Rose, Jake Puckerman

when: ten years apart

where: lima, ohio

what: Marley was invisible in school, always pining for one boy's attention. Ten years later, she's a pop star that's found hiding out in her hometown. Jake had everything in high school, but is now the burnt-out owner of a run-down bar in the town he could never escape. Their paths cross once again, two people trying to find home.

fanfiction.com link

One more week. 

Her mom had texted her during English class to remind her, but truth be the told the thought hadn’t left her head since the day started. Nobody was seeing her preoccupation, only the occasional nudge from the teacher to feign attention to the last few lesson plans before graduation. 

One more week.

The rest of the class shuffled out of the classroom as the bell finished ringing, the volume of the chatter drawing out the last few pages of homework that Ms. Johnston was in the middle of assigning. A class full of seniors weren’t planning on making the last few days of their high school career count, especially as everybody was swapping details about the end-of-the-year parties and summer plans before heading to college. Anybody with even the slightest excitement planned for the next few weeks way far past paying attention to the last assignments of the year.

With a few more scribbles of the last pages, Marley slid the yellow notebook into her bag and stood to slip into the hallway. It was a long trek across the school to get to geology, going through the back hallways avoided the groups of seniors and juniors that blocked entire pathways with their groups. Attempting to go around them had her bag knocked off her shoulder on more than one occasion.

“Wait--” Marley froze, one foot out the classroom door as she glanced to Mrs. Johnston, an older woman that had been at McKinley since her mother was a teenager. There were only a few times that they had interacted before, usually when a volunteer was picked to answer a question about the previous reading. There was still a taste of bitterness each time Marley thought about the fact that she never raised her hand, but she swallowed the feeling in change for the small pleasantry. “It was good to have you in class this year. I wish I would’ve heard from you more.”

A small shoulder shrug, nearly impossible to see under the long, brunette hair hiding the sides of her face and frame. There was nothing to say except the excuses she gave to every teacher that made the same comment, except this time there wasn’t another opportunity next year.

“Any thoughts after graduation?”

A small beat, then the reluctant response.

“I have a cousin out in California, she offered me to stay with her out there while I take a few classes.”

“I’m quite serious. You have some good things going for you, Mary.”

Marley was out the door before the sting revealed itself on her face, biting the inside of her cheek as she navigated the hallway. 

A few corner turns, and she was in the service hallway. Long, closets and empty rooms lining the sides. The lonesome entrance for the maintenance workers, the only one wide enough to fit some of the machinery in. The volume of the more popular hallways was still heard in echos, but it was the most silence she was going to get until the school cleared completely of students later in the day.

It was a few brief moments of solitude, a break from the noise constantly swirling around her head. Peace.

She hadn’t even noticed her eyes closed, her steps slowing to a slow shuffle as the few minutes she had alone ticked away. They only opened with a new sound, a sharp scraping across the tile. A flash of black, and a familiar face sped around the corner with careless speed.

Jake.

Back in their freshman year, he was riding the same scooter down the halls and nearly knocked her head against the wall. It was only a surprising moment of grace that saved her from a trip to the nurse, but it left an impression. A few more near-misses of interaction, a few shared classes where they didn’t say a word. It was stupid that she let herself feel the way she did, it was even more stupid that she never acted on it in the years they had spent in proximity. 

Mom’s voice was in her head, the same advice that was given hours after her first run in with the mysterious boy from the hallways. The same advice that was readily given each and every time Marley complained about her desire to talk with him ever since then.

It was only now that Marley realized that saying now or never wasn’t the same as feeling now or never. Now that the time to act was truly running out, the words couldn’t be restrained. Even if she had tried to hold it back, her lips were moving far before her mind had caught up.

“You’re Jake, right?” Her sudden confidence was too late, her words drowned as he streaked past her. 

No hesitation, no pause. Not even a turn around. A few moments later, and he turned down another hallway. Towards the biology and chemistry rooms, probably heading towards the one exit that the school always forgot to alarm.

“Good things going for me.” She muttered under her breath, another sting in her chest with the reminder repeating in her head. 

He didn’t even look at you, he didn’t even look at you.

--------------------------------------

“One more, Jake.”

The last straggler, Greg. He had a spot at the bar since the first shift at the factory had let out, racking up drink order after drink order. Only bits and pieces of his sob story had spilled out throughout the night, more than enough for Jake to know that the tab wouldn’t be paid off tonight. Last call had been thirty minutes ago, the rest of the patrons had left to carry on at their own houses and let him close in peace.  

“No,” It was a simple enough answer, and probably the expected answer since Grad had pulled this stint a handful of times since Jake took ownership of the bar a few years ago. Whatever confidence the liquid courage granted him, it was enough for him to try his luck again.

“C’mon,” The man slumped back in the chair, obviously not realizing the glazed look in his eye giving away his true state. The half-on tie didn’t help either, on the whole it was almost like watching a used car salesman that got dropped in a washer. Sad, pathetic, but a small part of him wanted to laugh. “You tellin’ me you have something going on the rest of the night?”

A single push of his palm pressed the cash drawer into the machine, the mechanical latch grinding into place. Likely going to need replaced in the next few years, not immediate enough to happen during the upcoming fiscal cycle. He was still in the red from the past few months of stagnant patrons, no reason to push the non-emergent. It was still a useful enough tactic to break any train of thought coming out of drunk patrons, especially once they started comparing lives to his.

“Keys.” Jake didn’t glance over, instead moving his hands to fastening the rest of the bottle stoppers. A few beats of silence, and he did meet Greg with a knowing look. His face white, the red flush from the beer disappeared. It was a quick way to get people out of the building, even if they had to walk. “You got a place nearby to sober up?”

A groan. “Yeah, Mike’s staying late in the shop.”

“Guess you better get going, that’s a block and a half away.” It was almost satisfying getting an eyeroll in response. The customer service aspect of bars usually took this route. “Keys.” A small reminder, met with the sound of metal hitting the bartop. 

“You’re a son of a bitch, you know that?”

“A son of a bitch that’ll let you shift some money around so your wife doesn’t find out how much you’ve spent here tonight.” That did the trick, well enough for a chuckle to come out of the poor man. “You have a week, I mean it.”

“Sure, sure.” He stood up from the bar stools, confirming Jake’s suspicion to take the keys away early. A few steps, nodding along to the promises to pay the tab off in full. Another promise to pay extra, a couple of empty notions that would be forgotten by the morning. It was all heard before, the same routine each time.

“You know,” Greg’s face was serious this time, probably some other attempt at coming up with a grand gesture of appreciation. It looked like he was sending a probe deep into his mind, obviously coming back empty. The uncomfortably long beat ended with the hint of a smirk, stench of Jack hitting Jake’s face like a wall. “Maybe you’ll have a missus one day, then I’ll repay the favor.”

The clenched jaw in response was a well enough warning, with Greg slipping out the door before fully finishing the sentence. Jake watched from the glass door front as Greg took a few stumbling steps down the block, quickly passing the dark alleyways and disappearing from view.

“Asshole.”

The rest of the street was quiet, at least from the view of the front door, an occasional car passing by and the hum of the heating unit out back. A quiet night that was common enough for the line between calming and purgatory was blurred. Tens of thousands of dollars spent turning the downtown streets into the city’s attempt of an entertainment hub. The replaced streetlights and sidewalk didn’t change the core of Lima’s marketing problem: nobody past the age of twelve ever wanted to stay. Those that did were disenchanted with the idea of pretending, leaving the streets dead.

The minute most people turned eighteen, they followed the closest college acceptance letter out of the state. One by one, until all that was left were the warm bodies keeping the basic infrastructure of the town alive. That’s where he came in; someone had to give the poor suckers in town a place to escape home.

Get a grip. The thoughts were shaken off, left on the floor to be swept up later. 

One hand reached up to turn the deadbolt of the door, latching it as the other hand reached for the switch to the outdoor sign. The same motion he did on every closing shift, but with one glance out the window his eyes froze on a sight across the street. A flash of blonde, meant to be hidden under a grey hoodie. A face he hadn’t seen in almost a decade.

That was a lie, but barely. It was a face he saw constantly, almost to the point of being sick of it. She always looked different than she did in high school, she changed her hair and it was on the front page of a magazine. Internet articles were the first to start popping up, the occasional editorial by the local newspaper whenever they caught wind of the girl from Lima living in Los Angeles. Then the music found it’s way over here, and the town may have well caught on fire. Everybody was seeing her photos at award shows, photo shoots, concerts. It took over a year before he listened to anything himself, and he had run out of excuses to avoid it six months before that. All the articles about multi-platinum albums, Billboard singles, awards with the qualifier of “youngest ever” before them. She was kind of a legend around here, the girl that got out. Not only that, she was the girl that got out and made it. 

Marley.

The door couldn’t open fast enough, by the time he felt the outside air on his skin and called out her name again she was already inside her car and starting to leave the parking lot. He still heard it echo back to him, bouncing off the concrete walls with nobody else to hear it.

She was in a hurry, enough of a hurry to nearly run to her car from the late-night convenience store. The last anyone remembered seeing her within Lima city limits was graduation, but now she was here again. In town, in the middle of the night, running from a convenience store in a piss-poor attempt at a disguise. He could see peering over her shoulder as she reversed out of the parking lot, a clearer look at her face. 

“Marley!” He called again, but she put the car in gear and drove down the street. Just like that, the street was once again quiet and frozen. 

She didn’t even turn around. He was alone again, the dark wood of his bar barely lit with the fluorescent lights. Most had given up hope that she’d ever acknowledge her history with the little Ohio town post-graduation, but she was here again. She was here, and she was definitely hiding.

The switch to the outside sign flipped, the buzz of the neon sign died. Why didn’t she turn around?

[allegiance01-blog]

Career Counselling | Career Consultants - Allegiance Educare

https://allegiance-educare.in/

Career Counselling is a need in India and career planning should be a meticulous process. It is imperative that students refrain from decision on career choices based on unprofessional career guidance from family, friends, etc. And follow a scientific process to choose a career.

 It is very difficult to visualize and anticipate if a particul ar career is the perfect career for you, hence after years of switching various jobs after graduation you select a career which suits you. Some of them might compromise on  working in a career for the rest of their lives with which they are unhappy. The reason why it becomes so difficult to choose the perfect career is because people might consider only one parameter in choosing a career or might actually get into a career just based on the fascination with the name or maybe that particular career is glamorized to convince you to get into it and when you start performing the tasks while working, then you realize it is not your cup of tea. 

 To solve this problem, a scientific approach for Career guidance with the help of career consultants is important. Psychometric online career counselling tests which career counselors conduct is designed in a way where with the help of the questions they interpret the real interest, aptitude and personality of the students. 

Career Counselling for students and online career counselling test can help you narrow down your job choices and choose a career path that is compatible with your interests, skills, values, and personality.

Career guidance, in the form of tests can be very useful for those who are uncertain about the array of career possibilities.

 Allegiance Educare Career Selection Test (AECST)

 Our test is divided into three parameters Career interest, Aptitude and Personality test. 

 1) CAREER INTEREST

 Career interest test is basically a process for  discovering / learning about one's like, dislike, interest, knowledge, etc. relating to a particular activity / thing or a job title. Which is then interpreted into his/her career interest.

Example: If a child likes performing physical activities, then a career involving field job or physical activity would suit his interest more than a desk job.

 2) APTITUDE TEST

 Aptitude is an innate or an inborn capacity for learning. An aptitude test is taken to determine a person's ability in a particular skill or field of studies. This test is divided into seven parts which it measures seven different abilities of a person such mathematical, verbal, mechanical, etc.  Often, the discovery of potential leads to the development of new interests.

Speed and Accuracy Test-This is a test to see how quickly you can compare number combinations.

Visual Skills Test-This test requires you to hold an object in your mind, while also turning it upside down, around and pulling it out of shape. The ability to do this is associated with success in the area of design, where a sense of shape and form would obviously be required.Occupations in which an individual is required to imagine how an object would look if made from a given pattern include art, clothing design, dentistry, drafting, carpentry and architecture. 

Mechanical Reasoning Test-It measures the ability to interpret the basic mechanical principles of machinery tools and motion. Each item consists of pictorially presented mechanical situation and simply worded question. Items require reasoning rather than special knowledge. Those who do well in this test usually find it easy to learn how to repair and operate complex devices.

Verbal Ability Test-Verbal ability tests tell us how well a student can understand and work with meaning, information and interpret from the given text. This aptitude is useful in areas of work where words are used in the analysis and in precision of communication. Literary careers would demand this aptitude, as would education, legal work, business, journalism and some areas of sciences.

Writing Skills Test-This test measures the students' ability to find errors in grammar, capitalization, punctuation. The ability to spell is the very basic skill required for many academic and vocational careers. A high score on this test implies a possible success in careers like teaching and writing.

 Mathematical Ability Test-These tests contain questions that test your knowledge of percentages, ratios, number sequences, data interpretation. Numerical Reasoning is important for succeeding in careers such as mathematics, physics, chemistry, engineering, etc.The ability to reason with numbers is also important in many occupations like bookkeeping, laboratory work, carpentry and tool making.

Logical Thinking Test-The logical reasoning test includes broad category's questions ranging from time, distance, seating arrangement, blood relation,etc... This aptitude test which measure a person’s problem solving ability. Logical ability is useful in many careers, but particularly required in careers that need significant problem solving ability or higher use of logic.Careers under this includes Anthropologist, Business Consultant, Career Advisor, Forensic Psychologist, Doctor of Medicine, etc... 

Mechanical Reasoning Test-It measures the ability to interpret the basic mechanical principles of machinery tools and motion. Each item consists of pictorially presented mechanical situation and simply worded question. Items require reasoning rather than special knowledge. Those who do well in this test usually find it easy to learn how to repair and operate complex devices. 

 3) PERSONALITY TEST

Although you behave in different ways, depending upon the Circumstances you are in or the people you are with, you nevertheless have a personality that remains identifiable. If this were not true, people would not be able to anticipate your reactions; the very fact that there are aspects of you which are predictable testifies to your personality. This is not to say that your personality will never change. It may well do so, especially if you make efforts to become aware of your potential and give yourself experiences which are developing. There is no right or wrong personality, we are trying to Co- relate an individual's current personality to relevant careers.

Why student needs counselling and guidance in education to build their future?

With increasing number of student dropouts and working professional quitting or changing their jobs, career counselling is a need of an hour.  One of the main reasons for an increase in the  number of college dropouts and job quitter is due a simple fact, people aren't satisfied with their current  job profile or college course. They took admission in a particular college course, simply because their friends choose the same course or their parents convinced them to do so. Same goes with working professionals they enter a job just because of its demand in market or high paying salary. People usually don't bother to check that whether the job requirement matches with their own aptitude, interest or personality.

Like in the case of engineers, many engineering students drop out of engineering course or land up in sales and marketing jobs which are completely different from their field of studies.  They end up wasting a year and also money. So in order to avoid these situations is advisable to plan your future ahead by taking  career counseling.

Who needs career counselling and when?  

Though it is widely believed only student or job seekers who are confused about career or job requires counselling but this is not the fact,  as each individual should do career counselling. Career counseling isn't only about getting information about a particular career or job it also includes knowing your abilities, learning about alternative and new career options in the market etc. It basically means making a road map to your future goals. So it's advisable for every student.

Counseling Tips:-

If after the counselling, a student is still confused between two- three career options or degrees or not very confident with a careers shortlisted always ask him/her to go for generalized degrees like B.com/ B. sc/B. A for their bachelors and not specialized degree like Bachelor in Animation to keep their options open later.

It is always advisable to choose Maths in Science, Commerce or Arts stream to keep your options open to many degrees which require Maths. Eg. A commerce student can get into IT by taking admission in Bachelor of Computer Application if he had taken Maths in his 12th.

Use elimination process from shortlist careers to decide on the final career choice. 

Aptitude is the most important parameter, even though interest and personality is not matched, the Aptitude should be an average match.

If a student is insisting on a particular career, which is not shortlisted in our strongly and average recommended careers, then we can check the 3 aspired careers section and if at least the student's aptitude is an average match.

Below are a few tips which you suggest to the students during the counseling session-

Learning Techniques

Time Management Judicious use of available time by scheduling helps to adjust study periods and extracurricular activities according to the need of a student.

Suggestions:

(i) Preparation and Follow “To Do List” - as a Daily/weekly planner to write important study activities. Do the same for monthly activities so that you can plan in advance.

(ii) Avoid Interruptions and Distractions - Learn to say ‘No’ according to your study plan to basic distractions e.g. internet, games mobile, TV etc.

(iii) Reading Speed - Generally, one reads 100 words per minute in mother tongue and 50-75 in any other language. As a habit, read few words; to understand their meaning and usage on a daily basis.

(iv) Read Early in the Day when your mind is clear and sharp as your grasping is at its best.

(v) Read in the Proper Position - Angling your reading material at 45 degrees improves reading speed and reduces eye strain. Avoid reading on a bed. Always prefer to sit on a chair.

(vi) Paraphrase in own words, write key words and summarize to make personal notes.

The best effective order while taking notes are:

Listen ->Look- ->Think- -> Understand --> Paraphrase --> Make Notes

While reading, underlining important points and preparing notes is helpful.

Find a source of inspiration: who or what could inspire you to complete your goals?

Positive self-talk like “I am going to prepare perfectly for this exam.” improves your motivation.

Memory

Some techniques to improve your memory-

Relax Your Mind – Being relaxed allows us to think clearly. Thus, we tend to perform effectively and efficiently. Under tension we struggle to remember information..

Use Your Body and Senses to Improve Your Memory - It has been said that people remember 90 percent of what they do, 75 percent of what they see and 20 percent of what they hear.

Mental Imagery - Use visualization by creating mental images that you can associate with the information you are trying to learn. The more visual you can make the learning process, the easier to remember the information.

Examination Techniques

Examinations need careful preparation, many feel nervous on the examination day, but with careful revision and good examination techniques you can do well.

Suggestions: Before the exams-

Devote more time and attention towards weak areas Even Under nervousness/ pressure never study the entire night before a paper. The mind gets clogged and you might forget what you knew nicely also.

Having a calm, cool and relaxed attitude towards examination is beneficial and can be gained only after good preparations.

Keep your Answer sheet neat as possible with:

Keeping sufficient margin between answers & paragraphs

Minimum cancellation on answers sheet

Never leave an exam hall early. You can utilize available time for checking and rechecking. There is always something you can do to improve your answer sheet.

Parents Role during Exams

Use the Magic Words: “Don’t worry, It’s just an Exam”

Don’t give unnecessary stress to study long hours.

Reward the student, if he scores good!!

Make sure student is eating healthy and on time

Avoid watching TV, inviting guests/relatives OR anything which could distract the student.

Pick up and drop from Exam Centre.

[seattle-hq]

basics.

January 9th, 1982 (37) Gender / pronouns: Male & He/Him Hometown: Fresno, CA Occupation: ER Doctor Face-claim: Jake Gyllenhaal

biography.

tw: illness, sudden death

Church, school, and family — that had been his father’s mantra for as long as Ethan Kaminski could remember. It bellowed throughout the halls of the household as him and his younger brother woke up in the morning all the way up until they were tucked into bed at night. Life had started out relatively normal for the young man, born to parents who seemingly wanting nothing more than to one day raise a beautiful family. His father, Jack, had opened up Kaminski’s Deli in his hometown of Fresno, California after graduating college when he met Anita. Anitahad immigrated from Poland with her parents in the late 1970s and was about to finish her last year in vocational school when she happened to walk into the small business with a couple of friends. It was true love at first sight, and about three years later the two were married and had their first child: Ethan.

Life was nice for the little family. Jack’s small business was booming which allowed him to take on more staff members and move to bigger locations so, needless to say, finances were never really a problem. They were very religious and went to church every single week regardless of location or circumstance, the male having been enrolled in Sunday school since he was old enough to walk. Only a few short years later, Anita became pregnant with another boy whom they named James. It was bliss in the Kaminski household and it stayed that way for a very long time.

Until Jack died of a heart attack, leaving behind his family and the business that he’d worked so hard to build. It was a crushing loss for the community and for the Kaminski’s themselves, but with Anita leading the way she did her best to put the boys on the straight and narrow path. Ethan can’t even recall the number of times his mother would slap him square in the face for making a snide remark or talking back, his snarky attitude always one to get him in trouble. This especially got worse after the patriarch’s death, but all in all, Ethan loved and respected Anita for the strong, iron-clad woman that she was and did his best to abide by her rules, however difficult that could be.

As the eldest brother, Ethan was expected to take over the deli upon graduating college. The plan was simple: he’d go to university, get a degree in business, then move back to Fresno as the sole owner. However, as the male grew older he soon came to realize that he could have a chance at life outside of his hometown, outside of his family’s expectations. Going into medicine hadn’t even been on Ethan’s radar until his first year at UCLA when he befriended a couple of students in the field. Science and logic had always made sense to him, and the thought of helping people in the way his father had so desperately needed was far too appealing to ignore. So, before that year was up, he switched his major to biology, deciding he wanted to become a doctor. He knew his mother would disapprove, hence why he waited until his second semester was over before telling her, but despite her initial anger Anita ultimately accepted his decision (though not without some incessant guilt-tripping) and Ethan continued med school, with the deli now going to his younger brother.

It was at the beginning of his last year of undergrad that he met Rosalie, a physics major, at one of the football games. The two sat beside one another, conversing the entire time without any regard to the game itself – to this day, Ethan can’t recall which team won – and became an item quickly after. A year later they were married with him starting med school and her starting grad school. Bills became far too difficult to pay, so the young couple moved in with his family until they could get on their feet and worked at the deli all the while, As stressful as it could be at times, and as many days they’d go without seeing each other or spending time together, they made it work.

And then Rosalie fell pregnant, putting a wrench in their plans. Though it was a pleasant surprise, the timing wasn’t exactly ideal. How were they both going to work at their degrees and raise a kid at the same time? After much deliberation, Rosalie decided to drop out of grad school to be with the child, a sacrifice that seemed like a grand idea at the time – and it was, for a while. Med school kept Ethan busy, but he still had time to make for his wife and child. When their son, Matthew, was born, it felt like life couldn’t get any better. Stressful, perhaps, but all in all, it was bliss.

Good things don’t always last. Matti was almost four years old when Ethan started his residency, which meant that his days and nights were spent at the hospital. This caused an incredible amount of tension in their marriage, despite how much Rosalie did support him and his efforts to become a doctor. Not only that, the woman felt incredibly unfulfilled. She loved her husband and her son dearly, but life as she knew it did not come out as planned. Things began to look up after a couple of years when Ethan finally started his own practice in Los Angeles; they were able to buy a nice house in the new city, send Matti to a great school where he could excel, but Rosalie still wasn’t satisfied. The male was still working long hours, putting his work before his family life, and even he became frustrated that he nothing he seemed to do was enough for them. Their unhappy marriage continued, with Ethan sleeping in the guest rooms most nights, until finally he had enough. However, instead of ending things completely, he did the next best (or, worst) thing: he cheated.

He craved intimacy, but he didn’t have the heart to ask for a divorce. He still loved Rosalie, and he didn’t want to put his son through that much pain. It was immature and, hell, it was downright unacceptable, but he felt trapped between a rock and a hard place. Nights out of the house became more frequent, and Ethan found himself spending more and more time away from his family. It wasn’t until Rosalie found out about his affairs that everything came crashing down – or so he thought.

She was upset, understandably, but there was still a great amount of love between them. After talking it out for days and weeks, they decided to start couples counseling, and Rosalie made the decision to go back to grad school to jump start her career once more. With Matti in middle school and Ethan making more than enough to cover expenses, it seemed like the right decision. There was still a lot of things that they needed to move past, and Ethan had more than enough he needed to make up for, but for the first time in almost a decade it felt like their relationship was finally back on track.

Until it wasn’t. Ethan was in the middle of a shift when one of his nurses suddenly pulled him aside, telling him that they’d just received a call from the hospital. Apparently, Rosalie was home, making breakfast for Matti, when she suddenly got a pounding headache. Not wanting to alert their young son and make him believe anything was wrong, she decided to just take a nap and sleep it off. Later, when Matti went to wake her up, he found her completely unresponsive. Ethan’s phone was off, so Matti was unable to get a hold of him and dialed 911 instead. The doctors said it was a brain aneurysm, quick and unexpected, but even now Ethan can’t help but believe he could have done something.

It’s been two years since that day, and a lot has happened in the meantime. Ethan moved him and Matti to Seattle for a fresh start, now working as an ER doctor at the local hospital. He prefers the quick-paced environment that the emergency room provides, not allowing him time to sit with his thoughts for long before a patient comes through, which is ultimately what he prefers. A workaholic through and through, he cares deeply about his son and always puts him first, but his career is so demanding that at times, it’s nearly impossible. Otherwise, when he’s not at home, work, or fucking around with whoever has a pulse, he’s at church. Confession is the only way he’s been able to keep his head on straight, his dedication to God being what keeps him from completely tearing at the seams even though he constantly questions why He felt the need to take Rosalie away from her. Though his faith has been shaken, he simply doesn’t know where else to turn to.

personality.

+ hard-working, intelligent, pious – cynical, condescending, temperamental