#drop the bullshit

[the-nomadicone]

[jedi-starbird]

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

[itshansolo]

Do people who claim that Ron doesn’t “deserve” Hermione simply… ignore that he begged Bellatrix to torture him instead of her?

That he was quite literally ready to die for her?

Like… what kind of cognitive dissonance is that?

[the-starry-seas]

I think the funniest possible codywan AU would be for Obi-Wan to drop his lightsaber like two seconds into Order 66 and seeing this just completely overrides the brain chip as Cody explodes with rage because this just happened two minutes ago YOU KARKING JEDI

[demigods-posts]

it hurts so bad to know that everyone ostracized percy as soon as poseidon claimed him. knowing he couldn't control who his dad was. it hurts even more upon realizing that a lot of the older campers knew of and/or heard of thalia, a big three kid who gave her life to protect her friends and big three kid who zeus ordered to stand protecting the camp in the final moments of her death. and by shunning percy. welcoming whatever fate the gods bestowed upon him without a care. and the worst of all is we learn that at least some, if not all, of the head counselors in tlo were campers who knew of the great prophecy long before and during percy's time at camp.

[thepointofme]

i think its so funny how they tried to push the "charles and moira as a couple" in xmfc when all their deleted scenes were charles flirting with her and moira not giving a single fuuuuuck lmao she was so not having it!!! like the hints of her as a character with traces of an actual personality were all in those scenes and they've cut it out to make sure they could bring her back as the love interest in apocalypse *booing*

[bookshelfdreams]

I know it has been said before, but really, what do streaming services even want?

Dead Boy Detectives didn't flop by any measure. It did perfectly fine. The numbers where there. The reception was overwhelmingly positive. It had potential, and it was successful.

But I guess that's not enough. I wonder what would be enough; overwhelming numbers aren't, innovative storytelling isn't, a preexisting fanbase isn't. So what is?

Generating new subscribers? It seems that Netflix, and other streamers, are still trying to figure out how to make infinite growth happen in an inherently finite market - audience retention does not seem to factor into their calculations at all.

I have had a Netflix subscription since 2015. I have always kept it out of nostalgic fondness if nothing else, even when the prices rose and the quality of the offered media declined.

But I'm done. I don't see the value of the service anymore, when most of what you find on there nowadays is sloppy "documentaries" and half-finished stories that will never be allowed to go anywhere. Why would I continue to pay for that?

[art-from-the-juice-box]

wonderlust stuff :]

[crowdeerdire]

Kel is off to art college and she misses her bf, Cove ╥﹏╥

[cheecats]

In light of how grossly disrespectful and dismissive some (not all) DC voters have been, here is something for a lovely lady who deserved better. [X]

[thisliminalspacedaydreams]

Like no I get that fanfic feels like a big deal but it literally isn’t.

It is just you playing barbies with your blorblos to exorcise trauma or make yourself laugh or anything in that very large category.

To writers: if you aren’t inspired, drop the project. If you don’t love the fandom, leave. If you have a 20th new idea and all you ever write are beginnings you are still a writer.

Fuck everyone this is your archive and I am tired of the pressure writers are putting on themselves. (And that other people are putting on writers)

The internet is on fire and we are floating on a rock in space for fuck’s sake post your forever unfinished chapter of that one fic you know you will never finish. It doesn’t matter what others think, only what you think.

Maybe this chapter is the only thing you will write of this story and maybe someone will read it and go « god damn » and get inspired to do their own thing WE DON’T KNOW HOW THE WORLD WORKS.

My point is it’s fanfiction it can be terrible and it can be bad and anyone who reads it and thinks wow this is bad and COMMENTS on it is a fandom idiot who doesn’t understand how fandom works and is therefore irrelevant.

Practice and write that shitty half baked story and only write a bit of it.

The next one will be better.

The one after will be worse.

Your brain just hasn’t locked in on the recipe. Keep stirring the pot, try new ingredients, don’t freeze because you aren’t getting it right.

[pogcicle]

So uh.

The dream situation huh.

[andy-wm]

jimin broke up with jungkook and has moved on with a new man, jungkook is meanwhile dating a girl that's why he created his dog's IG

I think Anon missed the cutoff for the fanfic secret santa so theyre sending me their prompt instead?.

Let's see what we can come up with so Anon can enjoy their Christmas reading.

It has to be based on their format::

Jimin ....

Jungkook is meanwhile.... that's why.....

Here's mine:

Jimin has taken his nephew swimming at the local pool and accidentally on purpose tripped over a step, falling into the arms of the hot lifeguard he has been oggling all afternoon.

Jungkook is meanwhile a part time lifeguard at the that same pool and takes his job very seriously, that's why he decided to give Jimin CPR, just in case.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 316

De-aged Danny but! He’s been de-aged because a time-traveller didn’t want to kill a kid, like that’s a whole ass teenager, but they also didn’t want the whole Dan timeline to happen. And well, they see that the kid’s parents… Yeah those are some mad scientists. 

Therefor! The solution: de-age the kid and take them somewhere else, where someone can raise them right! It’s perfect! The only issue, something they didn’t know about? Danny is a halfa, which means he has medical issues, ones which now that he’s much, much younger and more fragile? Are very much causing problems. Major ones. 

[anghraine]

I love that Elizabeth and Darcy are so ready to effectively tell each other they're full of shit. This happens a bunch of times, but I was re-reading their conversation at the Netherfield Ball and they're both kind of refreshingly Done.

[Darcy:] “Do you talk by rule, then, while you are dancing?” [Elizabeth:] “Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together; and yet, for the advantage of some, conversation ought to be so arranged as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as possible.” [Darcy:] “Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?” “Both,” replied Elizabeth archly; “for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds. We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the éclat of a proverb.” “This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure,” said he.

It's also pretty funny, because I suspect Darcy is thinking of this sort of thing in a later conversation at Rosings:

“You mean to frighten me, Mr Darcy, by coming in all this state to hear me. But I will not be alarmed, though your sister does play so well. There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me.” “I shall not say that you are mistaken,” he replied, “because you could not really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you; and I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance long enough to know, that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which, in fact, are not your own.”

[hurtcomforted]

tg3 can still confirm icemav retrospectively