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skeleton-mischief · 7 months ago

Note

-totally non evil chuckle-

I’ve been thinking a lot about pirates lately. Maybe…. pirate underfell sans?

An evil, menacing captain of the seas comes to your kingdom, with intentions of showing your king whose really in charge. You work as a doctor in the castle, and are bandaging up a butler when all of a sudden horns blow, signaling a pirate attack. As you help everyone out, you end up locking eyes with their fearsome captain. And well, when pirates see pretty things, they just cant help themselves from taking them for their own. 😋😋

argh fr😍🤞🏽

Hey, it's meeeee. I'm gonna jump into it:

Please enjoy‼️‼️

Wow...wow. There's little that could capture the description he'd use. So, it's a bit damning when he gets to see you at what he'd consider your worst. He'll make it up to you, he swears on his soul. You didn't need to be in the middle of the crossfire, and he feels rather bad to know that the Devil himself had used you to escape.

_______________________________________________

"Shi-!" "Language." Your hands didn't stop from plucking the shard of glass and dabbling the alcohol into the butler's wound as you cut him off. This butler, which you couldn't remember the name of, had messed up his hand by dropping a glass vase and then attempting to clean up with just his hands. Or,,,,paws? Yeah, that's a better word. He wasn't very tall, in fact he was only a bit taller than you were. He was a Cat Monster, one with desaturated brown fur and drooping eyes. He was rough around the edges, especially his...vocabulary.

Nonetheless, he was always attempting to be polite with you. He would be caught sometimes by guards for drinking booze in the royal kitchen past hours, in which he'd complain and weakly attempt to excuse himself before getting water thrown on him. He was pathetic really, but you didn't mind. You suspected that he hasn't properly learned about the ways of the Palace since he's new, so you were more tolerant. So you preferred him like this, where he held still and was kind enough to listen to you. "....sorry,"

Speaking of which, your eyes darted to look at his face, which was bandaged at the moment. His ears were flattened, and you almost wanted to tell the pathetic thing how stupid it was for him to look so sad, but your naturally stern expression simply softened. "It's fine, I know that it hurts. Just hold still, okay?" He nodded, his uneven smile growing as his whiskers twitched. "Thank you doc," You huffed lightly in acknowledgement before turning your head to focus on grabbing the linen.

Being a doctor was rough, especially the royal doctor. You had a few others working with you, like assistants, but you were naturally more comfortable working on your own. You weren't like the nurses who had to help the soldiers, especially since you only focused on the servants or the royal family. Which, now that your mind drifted, you cringed at the thought.

The Dreemers.

Or, more specifically, King Asgore.

He's...in simple terms, strict. Or more precisely, he's a cruel King who isn't afraid to use violence and fear to get his point across. Some rugged barbarian dress in reds and gold, for certain. When the sun catches on the tar black glimmering from his horns, he's towering and imposing. His nose slightly crooked just like his sneer, he didn't bellow but rather spoke with a rasp. Foolish Human, foolish to work for the King whose horns are sharp enough to gore.

He has higher standards than any bull, which wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't for the fact that he was willing to slaughter anything or anyone that got in his way. Your mistake, you learned, was to even work for him. You're lucky to even be alive under his critical eye, but you suspect it's because you can identify the ache within the Goat Monster's soul. Patches of purple and swelling are much easier to spot than guilt and other turmoil, but your eyes could see beneath the curves of bone and fur. In your experience, silence and blissful ignorance were a powerful duo, and King Asgore knew that you understood this.

He at least respected your work, even if that meant he didn't really see you as well....you. His nostrils would flare at the sight of you, practiced courtesy forcing him to not spit an insult your way. You were indebted to the King, and he was indebted to you. You just finished wrapping the hand in linen when you looked up to not see a bull but rather a wet puddle of a Monster. He twisted his hand from front to back, analyzing your handy work.

"Thank you, doc," The young cat straightened up as his tail flicked, a very soft purr escaping him. You placed your hands on your hips as you scanned over the fur for any other indication of injury, humming when you saw none. "You should be more careful, butler." "Burgerpants." "Hm?" His eyes, which seemed to carry two bags of purple bruising, stared directly at your own. His toothy grin turned to a more sincere one as he offered his paw to you. "That's my name. I don't expect you to remember that, but you can call me B.P. instead."

You reluctantly shook his hand, your lips quirking up. "Well, B.P., you have quite the name. I'll try to remember," You declared with a confidence he understood and had hoped for, purring involuntarily at this, pleased with your answer. "Thank you, it's a nickname, but I think it's grown on me overtime."

You were about to speak when you were interrupted by a loud sound. A blaring, blurring sound that pierced your ears. Now what was once so quiet has changed, horns echoing around the walls of the emergency room and throughout the hallways of the palace. There's a clamoring in the palace below your window, shouts of fear that stirred both confusion and trepidation within your belly.

Before you could speak, B.P had stood up sharply, coaxing himself to take a peek. His ears were flat as his tail lashed aggressively, his fur prickling as he let out a low growl. "What in the-..." "Pirates." The Monster answered your question as his expression morphed. He seemed to be thinking about something as his brow furrowed, his lips curling back as he gritted his teeth and glared at the running figures holding sword and gun.

"I swear...they-...." He was muttering to himself as he must've had thoughts cracking into his dome just as you. You frowned, the distant sounds of running being heard. Pirates, huh? You felt a huff escape you as you rolled your sleeves up, buttoning them together as you heard the slurred sounds blending together.

You've encountered a few stories of them from around the palace. Apparently, before your presence became part of King Asgore's reign, you had heard of the Monsters of Porcelain. Two of them were leaders of a giant ship, one so large and the other so terrible. They had caused a mess, leaving a pain that was stinging and vile, leaving King Asgore to immediately demand higher security at the Palace. He had to provide hope, display strength to make it easier to strike when the day comes of their return.

It was apparent that the day had finally arrived. Everything that was painted honey and gold over the chalked stone of the palace was now fluttering with spurts of red and dust. Burgerpants wasted no time, turning heel and running as he slid among the tile and turned sharply down the hallway. You couldn't chase after the fool as he had done it before you could think, only sighing now as your frown deepened.

Today was going to be rough. You grabbed your medical bag, hand gripping around the handle as you took a deep breath and huffed. Great. Just great. Any plans you had today were now slammed to a halt, leaving you here to deal with the mess of foolish Men and Monsters. You don't get paid enough for this.

"....fucking great."

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"DAMN IT!" The tall skeleton shouted, ramming his body against two guards with full force as they slammed against the wall. Damn it! Damn it damn it damn it! A large monster grabbed at the guards, wrestling them to the ground before smashing their skulls a rattling mess together. She turned to the tall skeleton, his brow scrunched up as she panted. "Captain?" "GO. WE'RE NOT SURRENDERING JUST YET."

The monster looked reluctant before speaking, gesturing to the wound that was on the skeleton's ribcage. "But Captain..." "DON'T." He sharply ordered, cutting her off. She bit back a response, only nodding her head before turning down the hall with a pause to her step. Pitch watched, his ribcage shuddering as he felt his phalanges grab at the edge of a small table.

He winced as he leaned against it, his jaws curled down into a frown. Where was his damn brother? Eugh, he just HAD to run off towards the center of the palace. So idiotic. He swore to the Stars above that he was going to smash that blasted numbskull's head so hard against the ships outer rim that he would be seeing double for a whole fortnight!

The sudden sounds of running footsteps snatched his attention, his head snapping to the side before he straightened up. His shoulders rolled back, tension bleeding through him. It coursed through him like a steady river under clothes and curves around bone. He felt his bones rattle slightly as his glare turned to steel, his expression intense as he was ready to fight once more despite his injury. He wasn't a coward, and enemies be damned if he wouldn't fight until dusting.

Though, what he didn't expect was to see a Human in white. He could see the way your chest heaved as you caught yourself by pressing your weight against the door frame by your hand catching yourself. You looked around the room and saw the two fallen guards, a mess that resulted in torn curtains, broken decor, and a skeleton. You locked eyes with him, and he faltered if not only a little.

A doctor, huh?

He stared, still as stone as he watched you look at him critically. His hand tightened on the handle of his sword, but he did not dare raise it at you. He wasn't sure what you intended to do, but he wasn't foolish enough to notice how your sights pinned down on his chest. You expression scrunched up and looked back at the guards before looking at him once more. "Are they alive?" You asked, gesturing towards the guards in metal.

He felt his eyelight shrink, staring intently as he gruffed out what sounded to be a yes. You seemed to be debating something, your eyes dragging themselves away from the guards. "....You're injured." You said a little dumbly. Yes, clearly. He huffed in response with indignation, not answering. Your eyes narrowed as you seemed to bite your tongue, debating if you should snap back a smart retort.

It didn't take you more than a second of logic however to retract that idea from your mind before you spoke once more with a more cool tone. "If you let me, I can patch that up for you." There are hisses of confusion and anger all feathered and sprinkled in the air from the distance, but they sounded faint compared to the screams and the ringing. The ringing felt suddenly louder, echoing around the skeleton's skull as he felt his soul thrumming in sync.

.....What?

His steely gaze flickered to one of disbelief, before it turned to suspicion. "ELABORATE." He gruffed, authority clear in his tone. You raised a brow, how audacious. He liked that. "I'm a doctor, not a soldier. It's my job to help, sir." You firmly stated, as if it was quite obvious. He liked that too, especially as you looked at him without flinching. He said nothing, momentarily debating if he should let you. Clearly he was a pirate, you shouldn't trust him. He couldn't trust you either, not blindly anyways.

And yet, the intent in your voice was crystalline clear. Still suspicious, he stared at you with a glare that lacked much emotion as he critically judged you. He then promptly nodded his head only once, one of his leather gloves tilting his black cavalier hat in respect. "I'LL ALLOW IT." You nodded your head in return, walking towards him cautiously. Smart. Your eyes narrowed upon seeing his sheathed sword, but you didn't comment on it as you pointed at the ground.

He let out a HMPH, but didn't argue as he let his body sit on the tile floor. He winced as he clutched his wound, his legs buckling slightly as he did so. He had been slashed by a guard in the middle of a fight, staining his once white button up a blooming red as dust was chipped near the edges. You worked without saying much, setting your kit down as you went to grab a disinfectant and linen. He watched you like a leopard seal whose eyes caught prey, unmoving and almost unnaturally focused.

You were careful to help remove his black, lavish coat, unclipping the thin necklace of gold that kept it on his shoulders before letting it fall down his back. You unbuttoned his white and silken dress shirt just enough to inspect his wound, a cloth pressing straight into it. He hissed back a silent curse, trying ever so hard to hold still without showing how badly it stung. He's been through worse, has felt worse, but stars above if it didn't burn.

He took the time to keep your features imprinted into his memory, letting his head rest against the wall as he closed his eyes momentarily. This wasn't the events he had in mind, but it felt nice to have someone tend to his wounds while they were till fresh. Oftentimes he had to threaten a doctor among the townsfolk with his crew after raids such as these.

And as a bonus, he kept in mind that your bravery and honor to your job just made you twice as attractive as he found you beforehand. At the realization of his attraction, though, he instinctively clenched his fist and felt like slapping himself. What in the blasted devil??? Attraction? He must've suffered from a head injury. He didn't slap his skull backwards, however, and instead flickered his only useful eyelight away from you.

Your hands were a stark contrast to what he was used to, especially when you wrapped the linen around his chest and sliced through the material with skilled precision from your scissors. He hisses when you fasten it tight, shooting you a harsher glare that both made a stampede rush to your heart and made you murmur gently to soothe his heated glare. "I know, I know..." You went to straighten yourself out as you assess him, your voice still stern but less guarded. "Better?"

It hardly registers that he had moved, something you didn't pick up on, not until a massive hand curls tightly around your wrist. The touch is not at all gentle, it's probing, the tip of each digit leaving small curved indentations in your flesh, intent on keeping you thoroughly in place. "WHY AREN'T YOU AFRAID?" His voice comes out as an odd grumbling, strained from excessive usage.

It isn't deep, either, which comes to be one of the more jarring things in this situation. At least that's what he gathered, based on the way your hand twitched when he spoke a bit more quietly. "Should I be? You bleed crimson just the same, do you not?" You ask, your tone probably the most gentle he's heard so far. Hmph, you should be more cautious when dealing with Pirates, let alone with ordinary men or monsters like him who were not yet known, but it was too late.

He dared not respond, but the way his magic had his cheekbones flush indicated that he liked what you said. He released his iron grip on you and grunted after some reluctance. "Stupid Human," His voice canters off to silence when you stare at him, making him feel uncomfortably vulnerable under your gaze. Before he could find something to say, anything really to cut the silence, you stood up abruptly.

"Now, I'm off to go help the other injured souls you ended up making a mess of, okay, skeleton?" There was a sting to your words, an irritation that he could understand despite never being a doctor. It takes an overworked soul to know another. When you had skill, it was irritating sometimes since that left you with much more garbage to take care of.

Did you not even know who he was? Of course you knew he was a skeleton, but he almost felt offended that you were so bold and assertive in the face of a monster who could gut you. He didn't, however, because it was clear that you've earned it after patching him up. And even if you did know who he was, your bravery was more commendable.

He turns to you with a forced stoicism, and he speaks with a sort of keening voice, one reserved for wolves or other sorts of predators. He doesn't know why, but he felt the impulsive desire to share his name. "It's Pitch. Pitch Serrif."

You repeat it, once, twice. You repeat your own when he doesn't ask for your name, repeat it just the same to him to remember. It rolls off his tongue when he follows after you, smooth and sweet. He wanted to pry further, he figured, have every secret expelled upon your tongue like the juiciest of pomegranate. Instead, he stirs, rumbles someplace in the expanse of chest, and lets you go.

What a strange doctor you are. What a strange Human you are. He likes that.

_______________________________________________

"Your brother is going to have your head, Captain Red!" "Hah! As if!" The swing of his hand, a flick of the thumb, and the trigger is finally done being teased as he aims and shoots. One, two, both fallen as their bodies are nothing but useless, armored shells now. Beside him, the familiar face of B.P. scowls. "You shouldn't have come, not today."

Red scowls at this, rolling his eyes the same time he rolls his shoulders back. "'s that so?" He lets the words hang heavy in the air for a stretch of time, before scoffing out a barked laugh. It mimicked his usual, boisterousness, but the sharp tinge of aggression was apparent. "Now why's that, B.P.? You tellin your Captain what to do now?" He asked the fool dangerously, but he's surprised to see the scaredy cat glare challengingly with a lash of his tail and the low growl that escaped his chest.

Now now now, what is this?

"If that's how you see it, then yes," He spat, flinging a chair into a servant's stomach. It felt good, especially since that bastard had made him work double a few times since he'd slink away. Good riddance. Plus, it wasn't life threatening, just hard enough to disarm and ahed enough to get his anger out. "I didn't want the doctor to be here for this,"

Red's eyes gleamed like ruby as he grinned, a bonebrow raised as the two rushed down the hallways of white stone and intricate architecture. His gaze drags up from his throat to his eyes, his soul humming with an electric excitement. He had a temper past his eccentric personality, and Burgerpants was testing the waters.

"Doctor?" "Yes, that's right. They're a-" B.P.'s voice catches within his throat, like a hook had caught and dug into sensitive flesh as he chokes. He seems to be hesitant to speak, as if he needed to claw the hook out of his flesh and remove the barbed metal

"A good soul, one who I consider a friend."

Red can't seem to find any indication of exasperated detail, and so instead he pauses his ruthlessly draining running as he leans against a marble wall with a heaving ribcage. His golden tooth gleams against the honeyed glow of the setting sun, dull due to the towering pillars and building of the castle. He missed the smell of the sea, of being able to see the sun in all her glory.

Instead, he cocks his head to the side as B.P. joins him, placing his paws on his knees as he's bent forward and lurched down to catch his breath. "Are they cute?" He asks, teasingly and without bite, only to earn a slight hiss from his companion. "Don't even think about it." Red has found that B.P. has grown a spine, or at least one that solidified enough when it came to you.

You really must've meant something to him, and so Red respected that. Anyone can be considered valuable, after all. He rubbed his lower jaw with his phalanges, mockingly debating something. “We do need a doctor, B.P. If they're a friend…well…. 'm sure they wouldn't mind helpin a couple of misfits, yeah?” He chuckled, seeing B.P. biting back his tongue. Heh. Adjusting his cloak, the fur around the rim grazing against his neck, he cracked his knuckles.

“Ah, ‘m just messin with ya. Come on, we got a King to slaughter!” He roughly patted the scrawny idiot on the back, knocking the wind out of him temporarily. He didn't wait to try and see if he listened, knowing that he would anyways, and he instantly ran down the hallway with heavy steps, his boots clinking along the way.

The idea sounded appealing, but he didn't think you were worth the time of day if he couldn't even know who you were. And besides, even if you were a pretty thing, he wouldn't take you without reason.

From the bottom of his crooked soul, he didn't think he was actually going to meet you. Wow...wow. There's little that could capture the description he'd use. So, it's a bit damning when he gets to see you at what he'd consider your worst. He'll make it up to you, he swears on his soul. You didn't need to be in the middle of the crossfire, and he feels rather bad to know that the Devil himself had used you to escape.

_______________________________________________

To lock eyes with a predator indicated the urgency to escape, or at least you thought so. So may Asgore be damned and sent straight to wherever he belonged. Right now, the predator you locked eyes with seemed actually more concerned with your life than his own.

When the smoke thins out from the burning hot muzzle, the red mist that seemed to develop skulls and screaming faces, only now could you see the obscure figure in better detail. You see a glimmer of gold and aren't so shocked to see the absence of a normal face. A skull head is what meets your eyes with teeth set in a strained, Cheshire grin. You see rings adorning his bony fingers gleaming under the light, and how gold practically danced around his chest and body.

His stature was shorter than the previous skeleton, and only now did it click that the two could be related. Both had one working eyelight, both had an anger within their souls, and they both clearly held the same cocky air to them that was unmistakable. Something sticky is running down your face, nails digging into your head as the tall, imposing King is holding your body in place. It should be expected. You are not as hard as bone or as tough as the skin of a fruit when you're finally clawed into.

You are stripped of all your defenses right now, laid bare as if the clothes on your back did not matter. Your fate now rested in the palm of a Pirate with a deadly glint to his eye and a King whose heart, if he even had one, was as black as charcoal. You're starting to feel beads of sweat prick at your skin, down your nape as the two coerced but spoke in what felt like a tongue you couldn't decipher. This does not prompt a response from you, knowing better than to thrash about despite the urge to twist and kick and scream and tear.

An anger within the skeleton resembled your own, united in unsaid words and not quelled as the King of Monsters offered a horrid, demanding choice. The ugly, ivory prongs atop his head was like a crown of authority, but you felt that the cavalier hat atop the porcelain skull held the same degree of power. Something smelt to be burning mixed in with gunpowder, something wooden and electric.

Your eyes crawled to glare at the King, seeing his misplaced wrath as his other hand gripped the golden and handcrafted spear that stood tall like a pillar. He had grabbed you to avoid getting shot, but he was clearly interested in making sure that it was only him he was concerned about . He seemed to hold the same morals as street rats, willing to throw anything away in the name of survival. A coward disguised as a beast, a Monster of deceiving embers.

King Asgore seemed exasperated by this entire ordeal rather than eager, even if he could leave you gored out instead of fulfilling his oath to you. Your side of the oath, however, was that you'd dedicate your life to him. You didn't particularly have to be alive to have him do his duties, and it was clear that he was debating whether or not to toss you away.

You released the breath that was caged inside your lungs unbeknownst to yourself, but a heavy hand clasped over your mouth to shut you up. "Quiet, Human." He spat. Oh you did not like that. You didn't even seem to think about the repercussions, head cloudy with disgust at his audacity.

So, you sank your dulled teeth straight into the side of his fat fingers, digging into flesh as you bit down hard. There's a blinding white as though the sun has seared its way into your skull as you hear a loud, rumbling shout, rays of warmth sprouting from your skull as a blow strikes down and you're flung forward towards the marble floors at the feet of the undead. It's a shock that you didn't just crack your head, if not for the way your head was angled and instead collided within the arms of a Monster who seemed less cruel.

He stumbled back, clearly having intentions to catch you when he lurched forward. The sudden shift in gravity made his knees buckle, but he head steady. Ah, is this what the smell was beyond gunpowder? Your eyes locked with his, only for your vision to grow blurry from exhaustion and blood loss that was blooming from your head. Foolish Human. You felt heavier suddenly, before you completely blacked out.

_______________________________________________

"this the Human you spoke of?"

"Yes, Captain. Stars above, they look terrible..."

"WE'RE TAKING THEM."

"What??"

"what choice is there? I told ya already-"

"DON'T DISOBEY YOUR CAPTAINS, GOT THAT? YOU'RE BACK HOME, DON'T FORGET THAT."

Burgerpants was silent at this, his ears flat. Thankfully, you were sloppily patched up, so you weren't on the verge of death anymore. He grimaced, but a part of him was silently grateful. Both Red and Pitch seemed to have met you before this, even if Pitch had tried to act like he was indifferent to seeing you bleeding and passed out. Burgerpants was less levelheaded, practically a walking porcupine as he assessed you and fretted.

He had wanted to leave you there, at the palace, especially since the Pirate life was rough. You were too, though, and brave. Foolish more like it, but brave at least a little since you had dared enough to bite King Asgore hard enough to tear his flesh based on what Captain Red said. You wouldn't be alive right now though if they didn't take you, left to bleed out or be speared down by Asgore as punishment.

He stroked the back of his hand against your cheek, frowning down before he turned to the two Skeleton Brothers. They were quite decisive, more so than he expected them to be, but hey. You are safe now, and surely he can explain everything when you wake? He's so sorry that you were caught within this mess.

The two Captains nodded his way, and so begrudgingly he walked towards the door of your temporary room. Stars, he really needed a beer.

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Closing Notes: heourgh. I wanted to put a bit more effort into this writing because I love pirates and wanted some good world building set up. I'm sorry it took so long, especially to you @vamppiko

Forgive me, testing was beating my ass

#undertale au #alternate universe #x reader #skeleton x reader #red serrif #pitch serrif #pirate au #red x reader #pitch x reader #burgerpants mention #bp #king asgore sucks #piratefell

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