#draw the clown makeup on me now

[thatsouthernstate]

January 20, 2023

Her hair is Harlow gold

Her lips sweet surprise

Her hands are never cold

She's got Bette Davis eyes

She'll turn her music on you

You won't have to think twice

She's pure as New York snow

She got Bette Davis eyes

And she'll tease you

She'll unease you

All the better just to please you

She's precocious and she knows just

What it takes to make a pro blush

She got Greta Garbo stand off sighs

She's got Bette Davis eyes

She'll let you take her home

It whets her appetite

She'll lay you on her throne

She got Bette Davis eyes

She'll take a tumble on you

Roll you like you were dice

Until you come up blue

She's got Bette Davis eyes

She'll expose you

When she snows you

Off your feet with the crumbs she throws you

She's ferocious and she knows just

What it takes to make a pro blush

All the boys think she's a spy

She's got Bette Davis eyes

And she'll tease you

She'll unease you

All the better just to please you

She's precocious and she knows just

What it takes to make a pro blush

All the boys think she's a spy

She's got Bette Davis eyes

She'll tease you

She'll unease you

Just to please ya

She's got Bette Davis eyes

She'll expose you

When she snows you

She knows ya

She's got Bette Davis eyes

[febrezeluna]

Not gonna lie I'm a little scared to post this but uhm I need to spread the Chuckles x Leboosh propaganda

They're so dumb I love them so much

[prettyflyshyguy]

He's a monster, and he's hungry.

Wrote this over a few days because I'm. Not ok about this. It's on AO3, and under the cut cause it's a short one. Not super edited, just got desperate for more content exploring when Dean was a vampire and when I found none I was like "well alright. Guess I'll make it then."

“I can’t believe it.”

Dean paced the length of the hotel room, passing back and forth by the table where his brother sat, prowling like an animal in captivity.

“You just stood there and watched that freak turn me!”

He stared at Sam, hoping for a change in his reaction, a look of sympathy, an admission of guilt, some form of recognition that something fucked up happened in the alley. Sam’s face was blank, his heartbeat steady, and frankly he just didn’t seem to care. In fact, he hadn’t seemed to care about much recently. He was a cold, lifeless, empty husk and Dean was tired of it. His usual quips brought no frustrated response, no snappy replies, he was simply brushed off. There was no banter, no anger, simply complete and utter apathy no matter what he said. Sam had his moments, everyone did. Dean knew he had a tendency to push his luck, many people had told him this. But Sam was different, they were siblings. Sam putting up with him being an ass was just how things were, and would always be. At least it's how it should be. After everything they’d seen and done together… If Sam held any resentment, he’d have made it clear by this stage. He was a good liar, but Dean could always tell. They both knew each other too well. If he had any doubt something was off about Sam, it was quickly disintegrating as he stalked the room, watching him blankly staring up at him from the small table. Not even fidgeting in the slightest. 

They’d been pushed to their limits before, and Sam was always the first to speak up when something was wrong. 

“Dean.”

His lip curled at the sound of his name. It was so hollow. So static. It reminded him of school, when his teacher would check the roll call. It was an obligation and a requirement, not something done out of genuine care. 

He decided to push a little harder.

“I mean what the hell was that all about Sam? Revenge? To get me back?” he growled. 

“You know you’ve talked so much shit about me taking risks, is this all just some master plan to show me the error of my ways? A jab back at how you still, somehow deep down, think I’m Dad’s perfect son?”

He stood still, observing for a change in reaction. Dean desperately wanted to find a tiny shift in body language, a subtle twitch in his eyes or mouth, that sad glint in his eyes.

He breathed out slowly as Sam once again stared back with soulless eyes and a steady heart.

Not enough, Ok, he thought. He was an expert at this. Maybe Sam had steeled up after all these years. 

It wasn’t a completely unreasonable possibility. 

“I almost hurt Lisa and Ben, Sam! I came so close, I could have killed them and no one would have been there to stop me, but you were!”

He took a step towards Sam as he spoke, the venom of the accusation lingering in the air.

Sam breathed out and shuffled in his seat. Finally, a response. 

“Dean, you need to calm down.”

You calm down.

He took another step closer, noting the slight increase in pace of Sam’s heart. Progress, hell yeah. A smile tugged at the edges of his lips though Dean’s eyes were as cold as Sam’s.

“Oh, that's rich coming from you! That’s easy for you to say when you’re not being assaulted by noise like you went to the movies and an intern did the mixing.”

He took another step closer. 

The thrumming beat increased in speed once more. 

“Dean.”

“S’matter of fact,” Dean slid his fingers across the tabletop, tracing the grooves in the rough wooden surface, “you’re exceptionally calm given I’m now stuck doing a bad David Boreanaz impression for an indefinite period of time, with no guarantee this Campbell special will even work.”

He looked up from where his hand slid along the table to match Sam’s unwavering gaze. His brother tilted his head to look up at him as Dean hovered above, adjusting in his seat. Sam slipped his left arm over the backrest of the chair. 

Dean’s expression turned cold once more.

“And I’ve been thinking, Sammy. It’s ironic. Between that creep, you just standing there and watching, and…” jabbing his thumb back towards himself he gestured “... me…” 

Dean slammed his hand back down on the table, leaning in closer. The headlights of a car flickered through the slim gap in the middle of the window curtains drawn behind them. It reflected off of Dean’s eyes for a split second, making Sam flinch. It reminded him of the animals on the side of the highway, peering at them through the bushes before darting away when they drove late at night.

“Begs the question,” Dean continued. “Which one of us is the real monster?”

Sam swallowed. The first real visible sign of him showing some nerves. He’d finally cracked him.

“Since you can hear my heartbeat,” Sam spoke slowly, “what does it say about me now?” 

His tone was outwardly calm, but Dean could hear through him. 

“It says you’re shit scared, Sammy.”

Sam waited for a few seconds before opening his mouth to respond. Whatever he said, Dean didn’t seem to notice, as his gaze began to shift from Sam’s face down to where the light of the window caught the curve of his exposed bare neck. A pang of hunger swelled in the pit of his chest as the noise and light and intensity of the room faded away until all that was left was the steady sound of the beating, beating, beating. 

A sharp, intense pain stung the side of Dean’s neck breaking him free of the trance as he collapsed to the ground groaning and twitching in pain. Through fading vision he looked up to see Sam still sitting on the chair, slouching back, but holding a syringe in his left hand. The contents empty. 

“You… sonof-abich…” his words formed a slurry as his body went limp.

-

“Nice of you to join us Samuel.”

“What the hell is going on here?”

“Sam’s showing me what all those years of boy scout training taught him to do.”

Dean sat on a chair, his legs, arms and chest bound with thick twine rope. Smiling at Samuel for a moment, he motioned with what little mobility he had in his hands to indicate. Samuel glanced at his brother with a questioning look.

“You did this?”

“He shot me full of dead man’s blood, and I gotta say, that’s one hell of a drug.” 

Dean’s tone was dry and unimpressed. Samuel assessed the room, looking as though he wanted to ask more questions, but decided against it. 

“Anyway you said you were getting something to help?” Dean’s voice broke the silence.

“This is help.”

Samuel pulled a glass jar out of a brown paper bag, setting it on the table. The contents was dark and viscous. It had sloshed around in transit, coating the airgap at the top of the jar. The light pierced through the clear glass and bright red light danced across the varnished wood tabletop.

“Wh- what is that?” 

“Cows blood.” Samuel said curtly.

“That’s help?”

“It’ll keep you alive.”

As he twisted the lid open Dean’s eyes flicked between the jar and the two men.

“Well can you at least untie me first?” he pleaded, his voice straining. 

The rope dug into his wrists and the thought of being spoon fed cows blood was sending his mind to a dark and violent place.

“Dean, it's just a precaution.” Samuel attempted to be reassuring. 

Dean clenched his jaw. Precaution for what. You weren’t even here to see Sam attack me.

“Oh cut the bullcrap!” Dean spat, pulling against the rope binding his arms and legs. “C three P O over here was a bit too cautious back in the alley and look where it got us!”

Samuel stared at him tensely. Dean winced as a spike of sound ringed in his head from a car horn outside. 

“Look I’m fine, Samuel. Really. Just untie me.”

The older man hesitated.

“Please?” Dean cracked a smile that usually got him whatever he wanted.

Usually.

Samuel watched him carefully while he placed the jar lid on the table. The unmistakable smell of iron, meat and death began to waft through the room. He leaned into the scent as he realised just how hungry he was. How dry his throat was. How much the deep, dark red called out to him.

“Samuel I will kill you if you try and hand feed that shit to me.”

The older man raised an eyebrow in response, unimpressed, and picked up the jar.

“Wait!” 

Dean grimaced and hissed through gritted teeth as Sam called out from the other side of the table.

“One drop of human blood is enough, are we sure that cow’s blood is clean?”

“Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me Sammy…” Dean groaned.

Samuel paused, running it through his mind, blinking a few times, he contemplated the risk and the chance. Looking back, Sam shrugged silently.

“Sam has a point. If any human blood, from a cut or a scratch, got into this at the abattoir, you’re done.”

Dean ignored him and glared at Sam.

“God I can’t listen to you right now.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Sam blurted in frustration. 

“Your fucking heartbeat man! It's so loud, it's so monotonous it’s killing me! Look, Samuel, just cut this fuckin rope and hand me the fuckin jar.”

Reluctantly, and cautiously, he pulled out a hunting knife from a holster on his belt. Staying as far from Dean as possible, he nicked part of the rope on Dean’s right arm just enough for him to wiggle it loose. Waving it in the air and stretching the fingers, Dean looked back to the two who were eyeing him off.

“See that wasn’t so bad now was it.” Dean’s tone was sarcastic and he tapped the armrest with his index finger.

“C’mon guys don’t look so nervous.  You can just drug me up again, it’s not like that's off the cards is it Sammy.”

Sam glanced away at the mention of his name, Samuel grunted in frustration as he reached for the jar and took a step towards the chair. In an instant the background thrum of his heart filled Dean’s mind, it was faster, full of nerves and fear compared to Sam’s horribly persistent flat tone. As he approached holding the jar out, Dean felt something shift under his lip.

“NO.”

His voice boomed as he jerked back in his seat, the legs scraping against the floor. Breathing sharply, he tilted his head down avoiding the stares of his associates. 

“Get away from me.”

Grunting and breathing through gritted, sharpened teeth, he glanced up. 

“Sammy, drop the machete.”

They’d both instinctively reached for their weapons. Brandishing them high, already poised for a clean decapitating swing. Dean growled and heaved deep breaths of air, flexing the remaining restraints. He could break free, if he wanted to. With one arm loose, he could easily rip the remaining rope off. He contemplated the thought, reveling in how powerful it made him feel. 

“Dean?”

Samuel’s voice snapped him back to reality. He’d placed his machete back on the table, Sam had lowered his but still gripped it. 

Dean extended his free arm out and flicked his hand towards the table.

“Just hand me the fuckin jar already.”

Samuel was quick to oblige, and quicker to back away once Dean had it in his grip. He tried to not dwell on the way his companions looked at his mouth instead of his face. He could feel the second set of teeth against his lips, his tongue. The smell of blood was suffocating him now, a mixture of alluring coppery tones and the stench of raw stale flesh. He wasn’t sure which was making him feel more ill. The pungent aroma or the fact he liked something in it.

“So you two just gonna watch like this is some sort of peep show or what?”

Neither responded, still fixated on his every move. Pulling a face, Dean limply held the jar up as it to toast before bringing it to his lips. Taking a tentative sip, he recoiled as blood spilt down his chin. Groaning and sputtering he violently spat it out.

“Augh, god this tastes disgusting��”

“I promised you help, I didn’t promise it’d taste nice. Now drink it.”

[forzarma]

makeup disaster

pairing: lando norris x fem!reader

summary: lando Doing your makeup on stream what could possibly go wrong?

warnings:haven’t proofread 😞

You joined Lando while he was streaming last week, and both of you were playing a game. Well, you lost, which means you’re gonna let him do your makeup on his next stream.

Both of you sat, and you got your makeup essentials that you’re gonna have to use for this stream, hoping Lando wouldn’t freestyle your face considering the fact he doesn’t know anything about makeup.

“Hello chat,” he said while looking at the computer, “so apparently I’m doing your makeup,” giving a cheeky smile.

“I’m regretting this already, omg,” you said, laughing nervously.

“Anyways, first thing, I guess primer ’cause you have been nagging about killing me if I don’t put it first,” Lando said.

You rolled your eyes playfully at him.

He started tapping your face aggressively.

“Ouch, Lando,” you said, giving him a stern look.

“I’m trying, okay?” he said, looking at you innocently.

“Anyways, I think we need to use this,” he said while holding your foundation and your beauty blender.

He blended your foundation, and you were thanking god that he was doing good for now. Well, your happiness didn’t last long when you saw him taking your setting powder and putting it over your face.

“Wait, Lando—“ you were trying to tell him he should put concealer, but all you heard was “SHUSH.” You gave him a literal side-eye.

And then he had the audacity to put concealer after what the hell????

Looking at the mirror, all you could see is your cakey face.

He opened your eyeshadow palette and took a bright blue and started putting it over your eyes.

Then he picked your blush, PAINTED your face with it, making you look like a tomato.

Then he got the liquid eyeliner and hummed, “this is interesting,” and decided to literally act like your eyes are drawing papers.

He gave his attention to the chat, reading it, and people saying that’s not how he should put things, just for him to say, “nah, y’all are just wrong, I know what I’m doing.”

He took the lip liner, he put it on your lips, and gloss.

“Alright chat, that’s the finished look,” he said, looking proud as if he did an achievement.

“You did terrible, Lando,” you said, looking at him.

“You know, I did good, better than you do,” he muttered.

“Alright, I hope you guys enjoyed this stream and don’t fall in love with my makeup skills ’cause,” he said, smirking, then he ended the stream.

After ending the stream, Lando turned to you with a cheeky grin. "Alright love, let me help get that makeup off you. Can't have you walking around looking like a clown all night!" 

You playfully hit his arm. "Whose fault is that?" You retorted with a laugh. Lando gently took a makeup wipe and started dabbing at your face, his touches soft and caring as he removed the remains of his "artwork." 

"There we are, much better." He smiled, gazing into your eyes. You felt yourself getting lost in his stare, all thoughts of the disastrous makeup attempt melting away. 

Suddenly , you leaned in and pressed your lips to his in a sweet kiss. Lando made a small noise of surprise but quickly melted into the kiss, cupping your cheek tenderly as he kissed you back. The spark between you that had been building for so long was finally igniting. 

When you finally broke apart, Lando rested his forehead against yours, breathing heavily. "Well, I may not be able to do makeup but at least I know how to do that," he whispered with a wink. You giggled, feeling giddy and light. It seemed the stream had ended on a much sweeter note than anticipated. Your "punishment" had turned out to be quite the reward after all.

[joostcafe]

So kiss me. | joost klein x fem!reader

Summary: Getting ready for a Halloween party with Joost is not easy, especially when he can’t stop kissing you.

Warnings: Pure fluff, kissing, a couple swear words.

A/N: I just really miss Halloween… requests are very much open!!!!

— now playing! ♫ kiss me | sixpence none the richer —

“Stop fussing.” You said, spreading white face paint onto joost’s cheeks.

His eyes squeezed shut, as he held onto your thighs for dear life. “It’s cold.”

“I’m almost done, promise.” You reassure him, gently patting his chest with your other hand.

His mouth drops before letting out a soft laugh, “You just started, leugenaar!” — and liar you were.

He attempted to lay down onto his bed before you snatched him back up, giving him a peck on the lips.

The smug look on his face made you believe it would make him sit still.

He smiled once more, the smile you loved so dearly. The way his eyes disappeared beneath his cheeks, showing all of his teeth.

You continued, carefully applying the paint to the rest of his face as he sat there, staring up at you with gleaming puppy eyes.

“You’re so beautiful.” He mumbled.

You can’t help but look away after locking eyes with him. He still made you nervous, even after sitting on his lap for a while.

He hugged your waist, now pulling you towards him. You grabbed his face with one hand and made your way up to his hair.

Not even a second later he leaned to kiss you once more, and you could feel him smile once again.

“We’re going to be late Joost.” You said, pulling away and fixing his hair — which you previously ruined.

He sighed and wiped some white paint off from your face. “I can’t kiss my beautiful girlfriend? You know, we can just stay home and watch scary movies.”

You and him loved home dates better than going out to parties, since you both got overwhelmed very fast in big crowds. So that actually sounded pretty fucking amazing.

You lingered for a moment before grabbing another color beside you. “Your friends will get mad, you know how they are.”

“Fuck my friends.” He replied, which he didn’t actually mean of course. “They can survive the night without us.”

You smiled and kissed him yet again, this time a little deeper.

“Sweetheart.” He managed to get out, “I don’t want your talents to go to waste.”

You laughed, grabbing the nearest makeup brush. “I appreciate your faith in me.”

Holding onto his neck, you painted the remaining clown features onto his face.

Your focus and determination was cute to him, the way you would slightly stick out your tongue when it came to drawing a sharp line. When you would stop to admire him and plant a few kisses on his neck to avoid making a mess. It was too much for him in fact, he was so in love with you.

“I think i’m done.” You said, giving him a small hand mirror.

“Wowww.” He dragged on with an exaggerated voice, “I really love it.”

You try to fix his hair once more as he grabbed a red lipstick from your bag, “May I?”

You grin slightly, getting closer to him.

He opens the tube before inspecting it. Then he swipes it gently on your lips, making sure he’s not messing it up.

“There.” He whispered.

You carefully rub your lips together before looking at yourself. “I’m impressed.”

He then points to his cheek, asking for a kiss.

You obviously weren’t gonna deny him, even if you thought he had enough for tonight — he never had enough of your kisses.

You kissed him once.

Then twice on the other cheek.

One on his forehead just because.

And a million more all around his face.

“You’re too good to me my love.” He replied.

You wrapped your arms around him, “Hey, i’m the lucky one here.”

— And after many long kisses, you spent the rest of the night cuddled up with each other, watching horror movies and eating halloween candy.

[anniebeemine]

line my eyes and call me pretty- s.r. x fem!reader

sort of a continuation of Laid, but this can be read as a standalone

warnings: smut, spencer in eyeliner (I cannot explain how this makes me feel)

“Sit still!”

“You have a pencil against my eye and you’re squirming over me like a worm on a rainy day and you want me to sit still?” He asked, eyebrows raised.

You sit back, pointing the eyeliner at him, your brows furrowed in mock seriousness. “Sit. Still.”

Spencer looks at you wide-eyed for half a second before he rolls his eyes. “Fine,” he tsked. He shifts again, clearly struggling to remain still under your intense gaze.

“Seriously, Spence. If you keep moving, I’m going to poke your eye out.”

He gulps, his expression half-concerned, half-amused. “You wouldn’t actually do that, would you?” His hands come to settle on your thighs on either side of his.

“Of course not,” you say, rolling your eyes. “But if you don’t stop fidgeting, I might accidentally make you look like a raccoon.”

A smile breaks across his face, and you can’t help but laugh, shaking your head at his antics. “Okay, okay. I’ll try,” he promises, forcing himself to stay still, though you can see the twitch of his lips, trying to hold back a grin.

You lean in closer, your concentration returning as you carefully apply the eyeliner. He swallows hard as you work, the proximity making his heart race in a way that has nothing to do with the makeup. You can’t recall why you offered, and you can’t recall why he agreed.

“See? Not so bad,” you say, leaning back as you finish one eye. “You look great.”

He blinks rapidly, trying to adjust to the sudden darkness framing his vision. “Great, huh? I didn’t know I needed eyeliner to look good.”

“Oh, trust me. It’s a game changer,” you tease, moving to the other eye. “Just wait until I’m done. You’re going to look like a celebrity.”

“More like a clown,” he jokes back, but you can tell he’s starting to enjoy the process.

“You’re such a pretty boy, Spencer,” you say, finishing up the other eye with a flourish. “You could pull off any look.”

He blinks again, and for a moment, the room is filled with a comfortable silence. Then, you sit back and admire your work, a grin spreading across your face. “There! All done.”

Spencer tentatively reaches for the little compact mirror in your makeup bag, his eyebrows raised in surprise as he looks at his reflection. He examines the dark makeup on his lower waterline, the deep color making his brown eyes pop. You feel a heat flush through you. His eyebrows are still raised in surprise as he turns his head slightly, taking in the way the makeup enhances the angles of his face. He blinks a few times, the action drawing your attention to the way his lashes now seem even longer, darker, framing his eyes in a way that’s almost too captivating.

You bite your lip, trying to suppress the sudden rush of heat that spreads through you. Seeing Spencer like this—so effortlessly handsome, the sharp lines of his face accentuated by the dark eyeliner—sends a shiver down your spine. He looks so different, so confident, and yet still undeniably him.

He catches your gaze in the mirror, noticing the flush on your cheeks, and his own face softens into a shy, almost bashful smile. "Do you like it?" he asks quietly, a touch of uncertainty creeping back into his voice.

You gently nudge the mirror out of the way, catching his lips in a feverish kiss. Within seconds, you feel him, half hard against your thigh. His arms wrap around you, pulling you closer as your kiss deepens.

Spencer’s uncertainty melts away as your kiss deepens, his hesitation giving way to the passion building between you. His grip tightens around you, one hand sliding up your back, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulls you even closer. The intensity of the kiss sends a jolt of electricity through you, your body responding to his with an undeniable urgency.

You shift slightly, your core brushing against the growing evidence of his desire, and a soft gasp escapes his lips, his breath hitching at the contact. The sensation ignites something primal within you, a hunger that you can no longer ignore. You press your body against his, reveling in the feel of him, so solid, so warm beneath you.

Spencer’s hands move down to your hips, his touch firm yet gentle as he guides your grinds against his lap. You straddle him without hesitation, feeling the heat of his body through the thin fabric separating you. The way he looks at you, his eyes dark and filled with a need that mirrors your own, sends a thrill of excitement coursing through you.

You pull back just enough to catch your breath, your lips hovering over his, so close that you can feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. His eyes flutter open, half-lidded and heavy with desire, and you can’t help but smile at the sight of him like this—so open, so vulnerable, yet so incredibly captivating.

Your hands find the hem of his shirt, your fingers brushing against the bare skin of his abdomen as you slowly begin to lift it. He shivers under your touch, his muscles tensing slightly, but he doesn’t stop you. Instead, he leans back, his eyes never leaving yours, giving you the space to undress him.

The shirt comes off in one smooth motion, revealing the lean, toned lines of his chest and stomach. You take a moment to admire him, your eyes tracing every curve, every dip of his body. He’s beautiful—more than beautiful—and the realization hits you with a force that leaves you breathless.

Spencer’s cheeks flush a deeper shade of pink under your gaze, but there’s a hint of a smile on his lips, a mix of shyness and pride. He’s not used to being the center of attention like this, but the way you’re looking at him, with such open admiration, makes him feel... cherished.

You lower your head, pressing a series of slow, lingering kisses along his collarbone, your lips brushing against his skin with a softness that belies the hunger simmering beneath the surface. His breath hitches again, his hands gripping your hips tighter, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you.

You can feel the heat radiating off him, the rapid rise and fall of his chest against yours, and it only fuels your desire further. Your kisses trail lower, down the center of his chest, over the smooth expanse of his skin, until you reach the waistband of his pants. His breath stutters as you pause, your fingers playing with the button, teasing him just enough to make his heart race.

Spencer watches you, his eyes dark with anticipation, his lips slightly parted as he waits for your next move. You take your time, savoring the moment, the power you have over him, and the way he’s so completely at your mercy.

Finally, you undo the button, your hands slipping beneath the fabric, and as you begin to undress him further, the world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you in a shared moment of passion and connection. The room is filled with a soft glow, the air heavy with the scent of anticipation and the quiet sounds of your bodies moving together. As you slide his pants down, Spencer shivers under your touch, the cool air contrasting with the heat radiating from his skin. He’s so beautiful like this, so vulnerable yet completely absorbed in the moment.

You lean in again, capturing his lips in a kiss that’s deeper, more urgent. Your hands explore the bare skin of his torso, fingers tracing the firm lines of his muscles, feeling every slight movement as his breath catches in his throat. His hands, once tentative, now roam your body with growing confidence, pulling you closer, encouraging you to move against him.

You can feel his need, hot and insistent against your thigh, and it sends a wave of desire crashing through you. Your bodies move in sync, a rhythm building between you, fueled by the heat of the moment and the deep connection you share. You quickly discard your own clothes, sinking onto him. Your shirt is bundled up over your chest.

The intensity of your movements causes a light sheen of sweat to form on your skin, the warmth and friction amplifying the sensations coursing through both of you. The heat makes your breaths come quicker, mingling together in the small space between your lips as you pull back to catch a glimpse of his face.

Spencer’s eyes are half-closed, his expression one of pure, unguarded desire. The dark eyeliner that once perfectly framed his eyes is now smudged, a faint black trail running down his cheek, mixing with the beads of sweat that have begun to gather on his skin. The sight of him like this—so disheveled, so lost in the moment—sends a thrill through you, and you can’t resist the urge to brush your thumb gently along the streaked makeup, your touch light but electric.

He leans into your touch, his breathing uneven, his lips slightly parted as a soft moan escapes him. The sound ignites something primal within you, and you capture his lips again, the kiss more feverish this time, as though you can’t get enough of him.

Your bodies continue to move together, the slickness of sweat only intensifying the sensation of skin against skin, heightening every touch, every brush of your fingers against his body. The friction builds, a slow burn that spreads from where your bodies are joined to every nerve ending, until it’s almost too much to bear.

Spencer’s hands grip your hips with a newfound urgency, guiding you, encouraging you to move faster, harder, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he tries to keep pace with the overwhelming sensations. His eyeliner continues to run, each streak a mark of how thoroughly you’ve unraveled him.

You watch his expression shift as the pleasure builds, the flush spreading from his cheeks down his neck, his lips parted in breathless anticipation. The sight of him so close to the edge, so completely consumed by the moment, pushes you even further into the haze of desire.

The heat between you becomes all-consuming, a furnace that melts away any remaining restraint, leaving only raw, unfiltered emotion in its wake. Your movements become more desperate, your breath mingling with his in gasping moans as you chase that final, shattering release.

And when it comes, it’s like a wave crashing over both of you, pulling you under into a sea of sensation, the world around you blurring as you find your release together, the rhythm of your bodies slowing as the tension finally breaks.

You collapse against him, your body still trembling with the aftershocks, your chest rising and falling in time with his as you both struggle to catch your breath. The room is filled with the sound of your heartbeats, the quiet aftermath of something that felt almost too intense to be real.

Spencer’s arms wrap around you, holding you close as you both come down from the high, his skin warm and slick against yours, his eyeliner now completely smudged, giving him a wild, untamed look that only makes him more irresistible.

You press a soft kiss to his jaw, then to his lips, savoring the taste of him, the feel of him beneath you, so spent and vulnerable and beautiful. As the last remnants of the moment fade, you pull back just enough to look at him, your fingers tracing the lines of his face, the smudged makeup only adding to his allure. He smiles at you, shy and a little self-conscious, but there’s a new confidence in his eyes, one that tells you he’s starting to believe what you’ve been telling him all along.

“You’re my pretty boy,” you whisper, your voice filled with affection and admiration. And as he leans in to kiss you again, you know that he’s beginning to accept it too, embracing the way you see him, the way the world is beginning to see him—as someone truly, undeniably beautiful.

[obsessedwrhys]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Bi-Han with a Sun Goddess!Reader

ᯓ★ fluff, angst at the end, reader is fem!!

Boy oh boy were you two an unexpected match. One was full of grace while the other's full of temper.

Though, despite your differences, your relationship was surprisingly well.

How he fell for you was a story itself, it all started when you had offered to help Liu Kang and his friends to fight against Shang Tsung. When you were given a place to stay at the Lin Kuei's headquarters, that's how you met the man.

He was the first to introduce himself but from his tone you could tell he was forced to offer the hospitality towards you.

During the wait for Liu Kang's orders, you explored the place and had stumble upon Bi-Han when he was training his men. You were bored so you decided to join.

From there was how you slowly started to know him.

Starting by having a friendly duel to having brunch at the garden. He was surprisingly not as scary as he appears to be.

It was probably your patience and elegance that made him fall hard for you.

He can't explain it but there was this aura about you that just seemed to be drawing him in.

So when he confessed to you after he had invited you over for a formal dinner. That was when things took a huge turn.

When everyone found out you two were together, it blew nearly everyone's mind, especially Johnny's. Like how did that happen?

"What do you even see in him?"

"He makes me laugh"

P.S, Bi-Han hates how you and Johnny are very buddy with each other.

There was this one time Johnny had bought you an attire from his earth and had intended to bring you as a plus one to his movie premiere but obviously Bi-Han was quick to snatch you away.

Just imagine him dragging you gently by the waist while looking over his shoulder to glare at Johnny. You on the other hand was unaware of his jealousy since you were confused why he needed your help on watering the pond (?)

Honestly Bi-Han wouldn't be too showy with affection. Sure he loves you, but he also loves his image. Though if you were ever to initiate PDA, he'd be fine with small things like kisses and hugs. Just don't embarrass him in front of his men. He won't be ever live it down.

Did I mention how soft he gets behind closed doors?

Once it's just you two he can finally drop his cold demeanor.

100% canon he's a small spoon type of guy.

Like just run your hands through his loose hair and massage his scalp. HE.WILL.MELT!!!

He'd definitely talk in a whisper tone to you when you guys are cuddling. Not to mention he always have this soft smile on his face.

"I missed you the entire day..."

"Hm... Your hair looks cute when it's messy..."

"Stop... don't look at me like that... quit pouting..."

He also enjoys taking baths together. Nothing extreme of course. He just enjoys the feel of your skin 'cause it helps him to relax.

He calls you sunshine. I wonder why 🤔

Jokes aside, he also calls you other cliché things like baby and love.

Another funny thing, he enjoys it when you choose to mess with him. He doesn't get mad but instead finds your attempts intriguing.

An example of a scenario was when you had decided to put makeup on him. Your excuse being that you wanted to try a new type of style but he knew those were just white lies.

Once you were done, you just couldn't control your laughter. He doesn't even crack a smile but just stares at you with a blank expression before turning to see his reflection on the mirror.

Did you just put clown makeup on him? He sighs but secretly inside, he finds your laughter quite contagious. It takes all his strength not to smile.

"You are an adult yet you behave like a child"

"PAAHAHAHA I AM—NOT— NOT A CHILD!!" You'd struggle to say through your laughter as he turns to stare at you once again with a unimpressed look, the clown makeup still on him making it even more funny to you.

OKAY NOW HEAR ME OUT. He definitely gives you compliments buuuut since he's too embarrassed to just say it outright, he likes to say it in his native language. He's just more comfortable in his mother tongue.

Just imagine him caressing your cheek as he admires you. Nothing but love in his gaze. It was like you were the single most beautiful thing in this world to him.

"你到底知道你有多可愛嗎? (Do you even understand/know how cute you are?)" He'd say in a breathy tone as though your beauty took his breath away.

Now to your powers, when he first saw you in action, it left him astonished. A sun goddess? Just when he thought he had seen it all... you never cease to surprise him.

That's why it comes naturally that he would challenge you in a friendly battle which you accepted without hesitation.

It was definitely a massive fight, even some of his men were rounding around or peeking from nearby to get a glimpse of the fight.

You were fast yet so smart with your moves. He had to admit that it had him captivated. Sadly the fight ended in a tie since Scorpion had to come in to stop it when things were beginning to get out of hand.

Without realising, you guys had accidentally damage some of the furniture and such. Ever since then, Bi-Han has been looking forward to competing against you again.

After that you were also considered his equal which is already an achievement itself.

Rarely anyone gets that high of a praise.

When in a relationship, his curiosity would peak and he would ask questions about your powers and your backstory.

While telling him your family reputation and the origin of where you got your abilities, he would be listening closely.

You taught yourself how to control and enhance your skills? He likes you even more.

You have daddy issues? Say less.

Whatever it is, he'll just listen to you with his brows slightly raised as you have his complete interest.

Since you're the only one he feels like he can share his problems to, he would definitely share his frustration concerning his father's beliefs about the Lin Kuei.

You would try to help him through it but even with your endless love and care. His betrayal would be inevitable.

When you learned of his betrayal through his brothers, it left you completely shattered.

How could he do this?

Did he not even consider the harm he could do when he did that?

Did you never cross his mind?

All of these thoughts haunted you.

And so did his consequences did to him.

His thirst for power and control consumed him to the fact that he had failed to realise he had lost you in the process.

Countless nights of staring at the wall as he loses sleep...

Until one day he decided to go and set out to find you. When he did, he hid himself in the shadows while watching you pack your stuff.

You were leaving to Japan with his brothers.

The dark circles around your eyes and the glow you always had on you was gone.

His actions had entirely ruined you...

Once he was sure it was just you and nobody else, he would step out of the bushes and choose to approach you. A dumb but desperate move.

The second your eyes settled on him. There was no warmth... but rage in your eyes.

Without a second thought you would initiate a fight against the man who was once your lover.

Due to your still aching heart, you would fight with tears in your eyes as your emotions got the better of you, something Bi-Han easily caught notice of.

After exchanging blows and countering them, Bi-Han would manage to hold you in his embrace which you struggled against but soon you would give in to the warmth of his body. The feeling you've longed for ever since he was gone.

"Please... don't leave..." He'd plea, afraid that he might never see you again.

"I never left... you did..." You'd say, then gently removing his arms around you which he let's you without resisting.

"You left me... like I was nothing to you..." You looked at him, staring at the way his face was unreadable but you could see the glimpse of hopeless in his eyes.

"I'm just glad this time I get to say goodbye" You'd then reach out to hold the side of his face... before turning to leave with your belongings.

He doesn't stop nor chases after you but rather just stands there and watch as you go.

The heartbreaking realisation that he was no longer the reason for you to stay.. but to run away.

[sporadicthingcollection]

La faccia infarina (LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader)

Summary: In which Buggy swears at a child, draws on his face, and experiences a revelation. Pairing: LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader Rating: Semi-explicit. Word Count: ~1.4k. Warnings: Pregnancy mention, childbirth mention, a lot of swearing.

A/N: i'm ovulating so please enjoy an episode of what i like to call Reproducing With Men Who Should Not Be Trusted With Children.

Doing his makeup is much easier when there's no distractions to occupy him. Unfortunately, he's got a big one today and, for once, it isn't you trying to get into his pants.

Though that exact scenario is definitely what resulted in this new distraction. It was either that or the time after the party.

"Don't even think about it," Buggy says firmly.

Keeda grabs a drawer and tries to yank it open. A disembodied foot gently nudges him away. The boy stares at him in indignation, then blows a raspberry. He reaches again, whining when the foot still bars his way.

Buggy raises a brow at him. "Getting fresh, huh?" Another raspberry. "Floor privileges revoked."

He picks the boy up by the collar and plops him in his lap. He squeaks and squeals, trying to squirm away, but Buggy holds him tight.

"Y'know, I liked you better when you were a prop," he says. He swipes his lipstick along his cheeks. "You'd just lay there and make noises and shit yourself. None of this 'trying to kill yourself when I'm not looking' shtick."

Keeda resigns himself to his prison and is now pouting, making little huffs. He glances up with big, pleading eyes, lower lip quivering.

Buggy scoffs. "Don't try that pathos crap on me. I know what you look like when you're about to cry."

A long, low whine makes Buggy falter. Uh oh. He glances down.

Keeda lunges upwards, trying to grab the lipstick. Buggy pops his hand off just out of reach -- this is the expensive stuff. Can't have a baby eating it. Again.

"What's gotten into you today?" Keeda lunges again. Buggy pops his second hand off to cap the lipstick and stick it back in the drawer. "Sheesh, kid. Cool it."

"Bappo," Keeda says with a glare. Baby for pay attention to me, asshole, I'm right here.

A lightbulb goes off. He pulls a bag of pigment sticks from the drawer and dumps them onto the table. "You want your face done like Daddy's?" He spins the boy around to face the vanity. "Pick your war paint."

Keeda scans the selection and, with short chubby fingers, he selects a blue pigment stick. He then tries to shove it in his mouth, but Buggy grabs it before he can chomp it.

Buggy smiles as he regards the color. He was wearing this when he met you -- diamonds over his eyes as he tried to kill you. From hating his guts to fucking him stupid to bearing his child. How times change.

He takes the boy's cheeks between his thumb and forefinger. He can't believe he's still so damn small. A year in and he figured he'd be more... child-sized. Buggy's still afraid a strong breeze will shatter the kid like glass.

With gentle hands, he draws. Short strokes are best on soft, chubby skin with a lot of give. Keeda gazes at him all the while. He's got your eyes, warm and dark as charcoal.

Buggy licks his thumb and smooths out the edges. Keeda presses into his touch like a cat and gives him a smile, one that he can't help but return.

The idea of fatherhood terrified him. Horrified him. He thought about turning himself into the Marines right then and there. If his old captain couldn't do it, how could he be expected to do it? He's not half as competent as everyone seems to believe and you know he's a buffoon. Why would you want to have his kid?

Buggy finishes the diamonds and spins the boy to face the mirror. "Well?"

Keeda squints at himself. He touches his reflection. After a moment of contemplation, he speaks. "Fsshala."

He's been saying that a lot lately. You keep telling him that it's just nonsense babbling, but Buggy knows the truth.

"I agree," he says. "Let's make it flashy!"

He spins the boy back around, making him giggle. Truly the world's most remarkable sound.

He still doesn't have an answer for why you put yourself through nine months of pure terror. Was it your selfish desire for a family? Or did you see a truth hidden deep in his soul, so deep that he had no idea it existed until he held his son for the first time, still bright pink and howling?

Carefully, he traces two long lines up from the tips of the diamonds. He crosses them at the middle of his forehead, curls them into a heart, and adorns it with dots.

As is, Keeda looks more like you. Your dark hair, your dark eyes... and your nose, thank fucking god. He couldn't live with himself if his monstrosity was inheritable.

He was worried at first. How could he be sure that he's your son's father? He trusts you, but there was always that doubt gnawing at the back of his head until a few months in, when Keeda started getting expressive. In every giggle, in every glower, in every grin, there was Buggy the Clown.

Speaking of smiles, his mouth looks a little bare. A nice golden yellow would suit him.

Buggy picks up the pigment stick in one hand and smushes the boy's cheeks together with the other. "Pucker up, buttercup."

Keeda squirms a bit as he paints his mouth, swirling the corners up into cute little spirals. He licks his lips and sputters. "Pfeh!"

Buggy chuckles. "Weren't like that last week. You loved the stuff." He lifts the boy and spins him around to see his reflection. "Now you're lookin' more like your old man."

Keeda stares at himself. He tips his head one way, then the other. His eyes narrow and his brows furrow. He lets out a low, pensive whine.

Oh no. Does he not like it? Is he going to cry? Please don't cry. "Wait wait wait." He turns him around and lifts him to stand on his lap. "Don't get upset--"

A little spark flashes in the boy's eyes. The frown vanishes and he reaches up, tiny fingers grabbing for something.

Buggy's gotten enough hair ripped out to jerk away on impulse. "Something on my face?"

A tiny hand baps him on the nose. Buggy flinches. Fuckin' thing in the way again.

He angles his head, waiting for Keeda to tap what he was really aiming for. And again, he gets bapped right on the nose.

...no. There's no way.

Another bap, this time with an impatient glower. "Isso," Keeda says firmly. Baby talk for this.

Buggy's heart is in his throat as he picks up the red pigment stick. With shaky hands, he outlines the boy's nose -- a cute little button -- and draws a circle.

He swallows thickly. He clenches his jaw. He turns him around.

Keeda's eyes widen, then scrunch into crescents as he lets out a delighted squeal. "Papa!" he says, grinning up at Buggy. He flops backwards back into his lap, giggling and wiggling. "Papa!"

He's not sure how long he sits there at the vanity, listening to his baby chatter happily, but it must be awhile because you eventually come calling.

"Oh, there you guys are,” you say. "You chuckleheads having fun without me?"

"Amama!" Keeda stands in Buggy's lap and waves at you. He points at the mirror. "Issoooooo."

You appear at Buggy's shoulder, grinning brilliantly. "Aw, look at you," you croon. "Did Daddy do your makeup? Or did you get into his shit when he wasn't looking?"

Buggy's voice comes out in a tight croak. "I did it."

"Well, damn, it looks great! You never do my makeup that well--" Your gaze flickers to him in the mirror, and your smile vanishes. "...Are you crying?"

He sniffles. Loudly. "No."

You give him one of your do-you-need-a-psych-eval looks. "Bugs, your mascara's running."

Something hot and wet rolls down to his chin. "No, it's not."

You look at his reflection in the mirror, then back to him. "Either smile or cry. Doing both is freaking me out."

He wraps his arms around Keeda, pulling him close and squeezing him tight. "Fuckin' love you so much, you little shit," he murmurs into his hair.

Keeda squeals and giggles.

---

To the "Curious Courtship" Masterpost | To the Mastahpost | Tip Jar

[rorywritesjunk]

I won't treat you like you're oh so typical

Buggy wakes you up to help him with his makeup and he sometimes get grabby.

Rating: Soft R? Idk. Some swearing, and uh, innuendos. No sex. I plan to write sex at some point but I just wanted to keep this kind of fluffy for now.

Warnings: Insecure!Buggy because that's my anime husband right there, needing assurance while his lady does his makeup. Some swearing. Buggy is kind of a brat in this.

A/N: Inspired by the image of that woman sitting on top of another doing her makeup. The title comes from "Closer" by Tegan & Sara. Part Two is here!

“You have got to stop moving, Buggy.” You warned as you held the eyeliner pencil near his eye. “Do you want to be known as Captain Buggy the One-Eyed Clown? Because that’s what’s going to happen if your hand grabs my ass again.”

“But baaaabe!” He whined underneath you. You sat up and crossed your arms as you looked down at him. Currently you had him laying underneath you on your shared bed while you straddled him to do his makeup. Barely twenty minutes ago he woke you up from a deep sleep, demanding you help him with your makeup. You were still in your damn pajamas as you sat on top of your silly boyfriend.

“Buggy.” You sighed. “I can’t get this done if you keep groping me.”

“I can’t help it!” Buggy pouted. “Why are you trying to seduce me while doing my makeup? I can’t control myself when you’re dressed like this!”

You rolled your eyes. This being your pajamas. Light green boxer shorts with bananas printed on them and a shirt you cut the sleeves off of. Of course he’d find that sexy. You held the pencil up threateningly. 

“Let me continue or this is going to take all day.” You told him as you leaned back down. He sighed and settled back down on the bed. While you managed to keep his arms pinned to his sides with your knees, his hands still could wander. You cursed his Devil Fruit powers when it came to situations like this. Sure, they were great for getting things off tall shelves or scratching your back when he was busy, but times like this you cursed it.

“Oh, what big plans do you have?” He asked as you worked the pencil around his eyes carefully. You didn’t respond at first, being careful not to jab him in the eye either on purpose or on accident. You sat up just enough to make sure the job was done well before you sat back up to grab the next bit of makeup. “Does it involve getting naked at any point with your fearsome Captain boyfriend?”

You gave him an unamused look as you grabbed a different pencil, the one you used to draw the skull on his forehead. “I was planning on going back to sleep because my silly Captain boyfriend woke me up to do his makeup and won’t stop trying to feel me up.”

He grinned cheekily at that as one of his hands did grab your ass, giving a sharp pinch to your left cheek. You yelped and reached back to swat at his hand before looking back at him. “Come on!”

“Stop seducing me then!” He whined. “Why do you have to be on top of me every time anyway?”

“Because… of the lighting, Buggy.” You told him as you lied through your teeth. This wasn’t the first time you’ve done his makeup like this. In the past you tried while he sat at his vanity, but found it hard to get the right lighting. Not to mention there was a mirror there and he could see everything you did. He made it a point to give a running commentary about what you were doing wrong and it drove you crazy. You finally gave up and had him lay down on the bed where you could see his face better and have better angles for his makeup. “And the shadows on your face throw me off when you sit down. If I do it this way, I can see your beautiful face more clearly..”

He fell silent as you called his face beautiful, and you noticed his cheeks were a little red. You smiled and kissed him on the forehead before you finished drawing the skull and crossbones. You looked down at him and grinned. So far the makeup wasn’t looking half bad. The last bit was applying the red lipstick. This was actually your favorite part because it was the easiest, and honestly, his lips were so soft to touch that every time you did apply his lipstick, you couldn’t help but kiss him afterwards. 

You grabbed his chin gently to keep his head still as you dabbed it over his lips carefully, making sure to apply it thick. He looked up at you as you did, taking notice how focused you were and how you even stuck your tongue out in concentration. It was… it was cute. He liked seeing you like that. He managed not to pout when you let go of his chin, but when he felt your thumbs on his lips, no doubt to smear the excess lipstick around his mouth, he couldn’t help but kiss at the pads of your thumbs. 

You smiled and cupped his head in your hands gently as you leaned down to kiss him. Fresh makeup on Buggy was always a glorious sight to see, because you knew in a few hours it would start to fade, smear, and look unkempt. You had the honor of seeing him first each day.

After a moment, you nipped at his bottom lip gently before you pulled back from the kiss. You reached up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, looking surprised to see so much red lipstick on it. You must have overdone this time. When you looked back at Buggy, however, you saw the look in his eyes and began to have regrets.

“Buggy…” 

He wasted no time pushing you on your back and rolling on top of you, forcing your legs apart as he grinned down at you. He reached up to touch your lips, dragging his thumb over them slowly, and when he pulled his hand back you could see there was still lipstick on you. You rarely wore makeup, not really enjoying it on yourself as much as you enjoyed seeing it on Buggy. He stared at your lips for a moment longer before he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, working his way to your jawline and to your ear, humming in appreciation as he saw the red marks he was leaving. 

He pressed a kiss to your earlobe before whispering, “You really think I’m beautiful, or are you just saying that so I fuck you?”

Honestly, it caught you off guard. He was beautiful. Fuck, his eyes, hair, nose, everything about him was beautiful. His personality, at times, drove you crazy, and he knew that, but you also knew he still had insecurity about his looks and being a pirate and, well, everything. He was just insecure. You reached up and put your hands on his cheeks, smushing them forward and making his lips pucker; he was resembling a goofy fish at that moment.

“The most beautiful person I’ve ever known, Buggy.” You assured him as you pulled him down for a kiss, holding on for just a moment before pulling back and pressing your lips to his nose. You could feel him tense up, and you were proud of him for not pulling away. After letting go of his face, your hands removed his bandana and your fingers began combing through his hair. “Fearsome and flashy, Captain Buggy.” 

“That so?” He grinned, the moment seeming to pass now. “Tell me more then.”

“I’d love to.” You replied. “If you get off me and let me finish your damn makeup.”

[genericpuff]

oh boy rachel's telling on herself a little-

so we noticed that her Twitter name recently changed again, now featuring her bluesky social in her username to obviously advertise to people that she has a Blue Sky.

She's had BlueSky for a while, but it obviously doesn't have as massive of a following because 1.) Blue Sky is still a much smaller platform than Twitter (undoubtedly because it still requires invite codes to join), and 2.) it's really, REALLY hard to move the entirety of your fanbase from one platform to another as many followers are bound to be "dead" (i.e. not active on the platform anymore) and others will naturally fall off because they may have followed ages ago but never bothered to keep up or unfollow from a page that was just on their backburner.

But interestingly enough, this change is very recent and when you check her BlueSky, which she would only post to every once in a while, it's now seeming to be a lot more active with multiple posts over the past couple days. So I think it's very clear at this point that she's trying to actively commit to the migration from Twitter to BlueSky.

BUT HOOO BOY. SOME OF HER POSTS Y'ALL. SHE'S PRACTICALLY DOUBLING DOWN LMAO

You've all seen me dissect the SHIT out of Rachel's art process and y'all can verify it yourself through those posts that never once has she shown herself drawing this way. Never in the process reels, or the time lapse videos, or the single sketch posts she's made. So her claiming that she "likes doing this as well" is just flatout false because she doesn't do this. So I literally don't know who she's trying to fool with this (aside from her own fanbase) but she ain't fooling me LMAO

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachel Smythe (@usedbandaid)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachel Smythe (@usedbandaid)

But that's not even the best thing she's shared, oh no. Because this isn't even the full kit of clown makeup.

Nope, that goes to this repost-

No hate to the person who posted this, I'm sure they're chill and cool, I just think the fact that Rachel of all people reposted this to her BlueSky which she's trying to replace her Twitter with is very telling. We all know this isn't just Rachel sharing something funny for the gag, we know exactly what Rachel likes and portrays in her work that she could see herself in through this post.

And what's even more telling (and hilarious) is that this may as well have been her running away to BlueSky after the "Never apologize for being Sicilian" tweet became the top result when you search "Lore Olympus" on Twitter LMAOOO

I'm not saying that's exactly what's going on here, but the thought of Rachel deciding to fully commit to moving to BlueSky out of sheer embarrassment over this one out-of-context panel from years ago that went viral overnight - and staying at the top of the search result feed because no one's engaging with good faith LO posts anymore - is hilarious, and if it takes this dumbass panel of Hades telling Persephone she should never apologize for being Sicilian to get people talking about how stupid and hilarious LO is, then I say it's about damn time.

[writingoddess1125]

Poppy Kisses

Buggy x GNReader

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️: Attempted murder, Manipulation, implied sexual tension, implied future Dubcon

Art by Vamos_MK on Twitter. Check them out!

Please support me Ko-Fi

In and out- That was the job. You'd been asked to murder a certain pirate by a client of yours, He was known as a buffoon and a fool- quite literally it seemed. Buggy the Clown, Captian of The Buggy Pirates. Always failing at his task but getting closer to his goals non the less, apparently he had ruffled some feathers non the less.

Which was why you were hired, asked to join his crew and kill him. Being a skilled shooter made it easy for you to join his crew, however killing him was a different story-

In truth was harder then it seemed to nail this guy- You couldn't stab him for obvious reasons, he was too cautious to go near water and you couldn't risk shooting him since it was loud and you'd risk death by his surprisingly loyal crew.

So you had to get close.. which was just as hard as finding a way to Kill Buggy. He didn't trust easy- He was quite plainly pathetic as a pirate but clever in ways you'd never imagined.

It was awful to say but you hard started to like.. hell even love the goofy bastard? He was fun in a scary way and with him trusting you, you got to see this new side to him.

He watched everyone, including you with hawk like accuracy. Anything even slightly off he could catch and any attitude changes he would immediately notice and question- Who knew this clown would be your biggest challenge.

It took nearly a month before he got comforble around you, playing the act of a wannabe fan of his and an additional two months before he had seemingly started to like you- Clearly his ego finally winning out at your fawning of him.

Soon he was letting you sit in his lap, him telling you stories of his adventures and his past as a pkrate. How he would take your input on his shows and what was needed from your perspective, letting his hand drift to your waist as he would whisper jokes in your ear and drawing true laughs from you.

Sure it started out as a mission but- soon it turned into real enjoyment from your end. So a mission that should have taken 3-4 months tops was pushing on 6... but who could blame you! It was just too damn fun there with Buggy!

Sitting in your room you stared down at the tin canister in your hands, it was a potent poison jell. You rubbed it on anything and it'd dry clear which would work since you noticed Buggy used the same glass cup, claiming it was good luck or something... it was a perfect device to poison Buggy but now- you didn't know if you could.. he had been so kind to you, Even getting you a private room which most crewmates didn't have. Even if it was a bit small and as Buggy had said formally used as a makeup room which explained the large mirrors on the wall. You still knew he had given you space cause he cared..

"Fuck.."

You sighed as the small snail rang in your pocket, pulling it out you cringed knowing who it was and you sadly answered. Wincing at the angered voice of your client rushed into your ears yelling at you for taking so long-

"What am I paying you for?" Your client hissed. "I-I know we had some hic-" You got cut off by the raised voice.

"Hiccup!? He's a fucking idiot! Tonight is the last night or else I'm putting a hit on you" they yelled before disconnecting the call.

"tonight..." You mumbled. Rubbing your face as you stashed the snail away, stress bubbling in your chest as you sat there.

This was your job...

Slipping the casaster in your pocket you get up to Visit Buggy's room, Something you often did anyway so you didn't bother knocking.

"Hey Bugs?" You call out, seeing the Captian seated at his vanity finishing his makeup.

"Hell Doll! What brings you in?" He says cheerfully, you shrug and plop down on a chair.

"I wanted to stop by and say Hi before we head to dinner" You lie, but the smile it brought to Buggys lips made your heart flutter. Soon you two began to mindlessly chatter as Buggy finished his makeup, you handing him his hat once finished.

"Shit. I forgot my bandana in the map room. I'm going to grab it real quick, I'll be back" He said with a bright smile before leaving. Your eyes traveling to the glass cup- you knew this was your only chance..

You didn't want to do this, You couldnt do this... Paid killer or not when do you find someone like him? Just some fun clown guy who's weird humor actually makes you laugh!?

Walking to the vanity you sat down, still warm from him and slipped on some gloves. Picking up the glass cup and groaning in frustration at the situation.

Forcing your eyes closed you look at yourself in the mirror, feeling like he could see you or you were seeing yourself for the first time.

Sighing you feel a tears start to slip down your cheeks as you place the coated cup down and took off your gloves. Hiding it away as you looked at yourself again, regret on your face-

"...it's your job- love aside" You reasoned before getting the canister and quickly coating a thin layer of the gel inside. Watching how it dried almost instantly and looking undetectable like it had been only polished.

"Please forgive me... I really do care for you Buggy..." You whisper a prayer before backing away at your placed trap, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes and maks if look like you hadnt been crying.

After a few moments Buggy returned to the room with a cheerful smile on his face.

You couldn't do this, as you watch him pour the wine and get ready to bring it to his lips you got up ready to reach for it when he paused- Looking up at your raised form as you prepared to take the cup from him.

"Ready for dinner?" He chimed, you nodding as you watch him grab the glass from its usual spot. Nodding silently as you followed him to the mess hall, You heart pounding as you sat in your usual seat. Food laid out buffet style over the large table as Buggy took center seat like a king- Your head spinning as you stared at the glass. Watching him make his plate before reaching for the pitcher of wine..

"Change of heart?" He said, making you freeze in your raised spot.

He clicked his tongue as he lowered the glass from his lips, His eyes staring right at you with a knowing smirk on his lips. A chill going down your spine- he had never given you a look like that before.. it was like looking at the waters before a beast rose and took your life. He wiped his lips with a napkin just incase any traces of poison had hit his lips.

"I really expected better from you (Y/N)- even after all this time you would have let the berry win huh? But your feelings really did win in the end" He mused and you felt ice flood your vains.. he knew.. he fucking knew!

Looking around you see the crew all staring at you, a knowing look on their faces as they stared at you and their captian.

"I thought your words of 'I really care for you' and 'Love aside' was just part of the act but look at that!" He rose to his feet as you sat back down slowly, fear now lacing your heart as the realization slammed into your chest.

"One way Mirror, Works wonders both in the bedroom and in shows" He chimed. He was watching you- The whole damn time! He was watching you, from the calls to your client to your hesitation to complete the job. He knew.

Fear slammed hard into you and it felt like you were suffocating as he went to circle you like prey, his footsteps seeming so loud in the mess hall now.

Your feet moved faster then your brain- you ran out of the mess hall as the sound of laughter from the crew followed you. You had to get out of here you had to before he killed you!

"Now then, (Y/N) tell me- when do assassins cry for their targets?"

In a flash you jumped back from your seat like it was on fire and ran.

A yelp escaping your throat as you felt your collar being yanked back and lifted into the air. You struggled like a kitten being pulled up by the scruff from its mother and glanced up to see Buggy's floating hand holding you. Reaching next to you ready to stab his hand another gloved hand appeared right infront of your eyes and squeezed a red ball, coughing as the fight started to leave your body and soon you fell unconscious.

When the darkness faded you felt dizzy- like the world was spinning? Groaning softly at the feeling, before the realization that fabric had been placed in your mouth. This seemed to immediately sober you up as you looked around frantically- you were back in Buggy's bed, wrists tied to the bedpost and gagged, legs tied down with blue sill scarves and all your equipment laid out on the floor next to the bed. Buggy standing over it all examining it, he looked up hearing you move.

"Ah you're awake. Good I was beginning to worry that I made that Muggy Ball too strong"

You shook as you sat on the bed you once would have loved to be in, Watching Buggy as he Lossened his hair from the bandana. His blue locks falling down and framing his face as he stepped closer to the bed.

He said calmly as he rose up, watching you struggle and try to yell through the gag. He chuckled at this and patted your leg playfully.

"I wouldn't struggle. I don't think you can handle being knocked out again"

He said in amusement, removing his shirt and vest with ease revealing his naked chest- Due to years of training and his devil fruit abilties leaving him lean and flawless of marks. Just like how you had imagined.

"Got to say, I'm really impresses. With all the equipment in that little kill kit of yours I'm sure you could have done the job easily- But a painless poison that would let me sleep and die peacefully?.. it's almost too kind... whats it called? Poppy Kisses right?"

Warmth flooded your face and body as you watch him crawl closer to you- Seating himself right on your waist as he smiled down at you brightly, tapping a finger to your chest with a gleam in his eyes. He looked beautiful, terrifying but beautiful.

"Must have been hard, I saw your face.. you looked so hurt using that posion"

"So complicated.. So much trouble you are- So expensive too. Do you know how much I had to pay to your guild in order to make them say you died trying to murder me?"

He smirked as he began undo the buttons of your shirt. Your eyes widening in shock as he spoke and began to undress you.

"You're so lucky I like you~"

He purred, before placing a slow kiss on your cheeks. You felt the red grease paint smear and stain against it, accidently letting a moan slip the gag as his fingers pulled your hair, which he clearly reveled in. Leaving your wanting his lips as he traveled to your jaw, ear and further down.

His fingers working deeper into your hair as he removed the shirt from your body fully- the cold making you shiver at his warmed touch as red kisses blot your neck.

"Now my daring little assassin, I do believe some compensation is in order for all those expenses. Don't you?~"

[tequiilasunriise]

The thing that really kills me about that fight against the walkers is the Bees get this incredible fight sequence of being perfectly in sync partners and easily covering each other’s bases but then it suddenly cuts to Weiss stumbling during her fight because Ruby, her partner, isn’t there. Jaune was good at helping her recover, sure, but nevertheless the parallels between functional partners and partners that are split apart were very, very prevalent.

During the Ace Ops fight Weiss was holding her own well against Marrow, yet Ruby still rushed to deflect his weapon when it was coming towards Weiss. Harriet had thrown her into the room, Ruby- still dazed on the floor- looked up, saw a weapon coming towards Weiss (who was poised with her rapier ready, mind you), and didn’t hesitate to come in and smack it back with Crescent Rose. The parallels between Marrow and Harriet arguing vs Whiterose silently nodding at each other making sure the other was alright, like! Ruby didn’t have to check up on Weiss but she did so anyways because they’re partners, because they’re there fer each other rather than individual units strung together on the same team.

After making sure Weiss was alright, Ruby continues to draw Harriet away from the rest of the fray. Then when Ruby is fighting Harriet, Weiss comes back to check up on her and summon an ice wall to defend her partner from Harriet charging at her. There’s something to be said about how Marrow and Harriet were so disjointed in comparison to Whiterose being there fer each other. Love versus a lack thereof, so to speak (and yes, I may be a Whiterose shipper, but this love I’m referring to is that deeper special platonic bond between people who fight fer their lives and trust and care fer each other wholeheartedly).

So now parallel that fight with the one against the walkers, where Weiss is stumbling in a 1v1 and Ruby gets overpowered by a walker because she’s having an extremely justified panic attack. They’re apart, and now both are struggling because neither has their partner there to support em. The Bees are doing all of these sickass combo moves and combining their different fighting styles perfectly while Whiterose is just having a plain ol Bad Time™️ right now. Love versus a lack thereof, so speak. That being said I do wanna point out that when Ruby was down on the ground, it was Weiss who called out to her and made the first blow against the walker who had her pinned. Shit man even when they’re falling apart Weiss is still the first one to reach fer her partner. The love isn’t fully gone, it’s hurting yes, but o h how the love is still there through it all. There is something to be said on love and the lack thereof and love that’s struggling to breathe but still persists.

What I’m saying is, there’s shit to be said about partners, about people tied together in trust and loyalty, about people who know the other so well they can almost effortlessly cover each other bases. There’s shit to be said about found family, about choosing people, about doing the very brave thing that is loving them. In V8, Yang talked to Ruby about risks and sacrifices and heroes. Later on, Blake had her gentle heart to heart about admiring Ruby as a leader, but what Ruby really needs right now? She doesn’t need a pep talk revolving around duties and respect, what she needs right now is someone to speak to her as an equal. As a best friend. As a partner.

Weiss, please fer the love of god, talk to your partner. She needs someone to lean on right now, and my clown makeup fer Bees Kiss is OFF but goddamnit am I polishing my shoes as I hope fer a Weiss and Ruby heart to heart.

[aimbutmiss]

Buggy gently held the face in front of him, fingers wrapping around the jaw to keep it still. He was supposed to go in for the eyeliner next, but the man in front of him flinched as soon as Buggy's fingers brushed his face, the reaction barely visible to the untrained eye. But Buggy knew Mihawk, or he thought he did, at least to a certain extent. He liked to think he improved a lot when it came to reading the hawk eyed man, especially compared to when they first formed Cross Guild. And what all that improvement entailed now, was the fact that the swordsman was uncomfortable. He let go of his face just as gently as he had held it.

"What's wrong?"

"..."

Buggy frowned and slumped his shoulders at the lack of response. "I let you do that horrifying gothic clown makeup on me, remember? Because I trusted you. But I'm not planning on turning you into a clown or anything, it's just your usual black eyeliner. So, trust me?"

"I do trust you." Mihawk sighed heavily, uncrossing his arms. "It's not about that. It's just... I'm not really used to- to this." He motioned between the two of them, trying his best to convey his feelings. He clearly needed more practice in that department, but Buggy took it in stride. They could work on it later, and frankly even this was an improvement.

Buggy retreated a bit, putting some more distance between them. "We don't have to do... this." He motioned between them just as the other had. "I just thought it would be fun, like last time. Even though I ended up looking straight out of a horror story, at least the process was enjoyable. Relaxing even."

Mihawk gave a small smile at that. "I thought you looked rather dashing in black."

Buggy rolled his eyes. "Of course you did. But I think I'll leave that to you. Wouldn't want to steal your schtick."

Mihawk's eyes squinted in amusement. "You couldn't if you tried."

"Nice try, but you can't provoke me like that. I'm not even going near black face paint for the unforeseeable future."

It was Mihawk's turn to roll his eyes, but he didn't say anything. They had fallen into a comfortable silence when Mihawk slowly reached for Buggy's hand, delicately caressing it with his thumb as Buggy held his breath.

"I'm sorry, I'm being difficult. This was supposed to be fun... But I'm okay now, you can continue."

Buggy shook his head, squeezing the hand holding his. "It should be fun for us both, I can't enjoy it if you're not enjoying it as well. You don't have to force yourself."

"I'm not." Mihawk looked Buggy in his big, round eyes that looked like they were portals leading straight to the ocean, his stare as unwavering as his voice as he spoke. "I'm not usually comfortable with people at this proximity... but I've come to find that I really don't mind it with you. I like it, in fact."

Buggy gulped, unable to break the intense eye contact. He didn't really know what he did to get into the swordsman's good graces, but he wasn't gonna mess it up no matter what. He gently reached for his face once again, getting in position to finally draw on the eyeliner.

"Don't move or I'll smudge it." He said, almost in a whisper.

Mihawk simply hummed in understanding, staying still as the waters of the Calm Belt. Buggy's breath was tickling his cheeks, and his hands were warm. He did his best to watch him do his work without moving, carving every inch of his focused face into memory.

"You're beautiful."

The words came out of his mouth without thinking, flowing as naturally as his haki through Yoru, and they made the clown still in his movements.

"What?"

Mihawk gave a breathy chuckle as Buggy's face grew redder by the second. "You heard me, beautiful."

Buggy moved back a bit, staring at the man as if he grew a second head. "What's gotten into you?"

Of course, Mihawk completely ignored him. "You look cute when you blush."

"Oh my God, can you stop?!" Buggy's face was now matching his nose, and Mihawk could swear he could see some steam coming out of his ears.

"You're not very good at taking compliments, are you?"

"I take them all the time! From my crew and my fans... It's just, unexpected from you."

That made something inside Mihawk twinge, but it didn't show on his face. "Then I'll have to compliment you more until you get used to it."

Buggy seemed to be struggling to put his thoughts into words, confused out of his mind at the other man's words. Did he eat something off? Was it a devil fruit user? Because something had to be wrong. But in the mess going inside his head, only one word was able to make its way to his tongue:

"Why?"

"Because I love to have your attention, your eyes on me, your hands on me... and your kindness. But I need to be kind to you as well to deserve it. This, right now... I don't deserve this, as things stand."

Buggy stared at the man in front of him for a moment, before slowly reaching out to cradle his face. "You are kind to me."

"Not kind enough to make up for the things I did before."

So, that's what this was about. Buggy sighed in understanding. "You apologised. I accepted your apology, and Crocodile's. Neither of you have any need to feel bad for your past mistakes."

Mihawk opened his mouth to speak but Buggy shushed him, pressing a finger on his lips. "I forgive you. Just take my word for it, idiot."

"... Alright."

Buggy smiled wide. "See? That wasn't so hard."

Later that evening, Crocodile walked into the tent to find a sleeping Buggy, drooling on a sleeping Mihawk. The swordsman's face was smudged with eyeliner, and the evening breeze was washing over them from the open window flap.

But neither of them were cold when they woke up, covered by a blanket they didn't remember getting.

[particular-one]

is this falling?

pairing. dan heng x reader synopsis. you (try to) do dan heng’s eyeliner. it fails miserably but also succeeds wonderfully. author’s note. guess who decided to write instead of studying for their last final. also this was prompted because i remembered that i probably have to rely on my very poor eyeliner skills again when i cosplay stelle. sigh.

"are you sure i don't look like a clown yet?"

you rolled your eyes, trying to get your hand that was holding his eyeliner steady. your brows must have been furrowed as you tried so hard to concentrate that prompted that quip from dan heng, who was laying below you as you attempted to recreate his signature look.

which … you were failing in, by the way! you were no good with makeup, that you wondered how long your boyfriend had practiced to perfect his eyes every single time. “nope, nope. i got this, just relax.”

“sure, love. i’ll relax just as you gauge my eyes out with that eye pencil.” you scoffed, before holding his shoulder down in an attempt to steady yourself. you didn’t even know why dan heng asked you to do his eyeliner for him — given the fact that he could do it flawlessly, there was no reason to ask you, his partner who could barely draw a straight line with a ruler, to do it.

still, you were determined to finish it. you wanted dan heng to see that you could meet his expectations and put his eye makeup on him! but now, look where ambition and pure ego got you. “hey, that’s not supposed to go on the ey—”

“oh hush now, i’m the artist right now, m’kay?”

you couldn’t tell if dan heng let out a low chuckle or a groan, but nevertheless, you were now in the zone. you leaned in closer, with your line of vision now laser focused on his eyes. you hadn’t realized just how enchanting they were, but now that you were getting a dangerously up-close view of them, you were reminded of just why you fell in love with him in the first place.

well … ignoring the fact that there was a stray line of red eyeliner on his brow, but still. you could feel your cheeks starting to get flushed, when a sudden beeping noise came from your phone. you jumped and reached over for it, but dan heng seemed to have the same idea and went to sit up for easier accessibility …

your lips met as you collided against each other on accident, to which you yelped in surprise and backed away almost immediately. did you just …. oh, you could feel your entire body get heated all over and you opened your mouth to say something in return but it was cut off when you found yourself kissing him again. kisses with him never got old; it always sent you over the moon, like it was the very first night you shared your first kiss. you felt so floaty and light inside, as you found yourself melting in place.

moments after the both of you pulled away, you straightened your shirt and cleared your throat. the both of you were suddenly awfully quiet, as dan heng hadn’t spoken since that exchange you had. you had figured he had this all planned, but dan heng looked even bashful right now that a chuckle escaped you. he simply groaned, his cheeks now getting flushed. oh, you loved this man very much.

“you know if you wanted to kiss me so bad, you didn’t need to invite me over to do your eyeliner.”

“oh, shut up now.”

written by carlyle (@particular-one) copyright: all content belongs to particular-one on tumblr (2023)

[yujo-nishimura]

Red Hair or Red Nose? - Part 7 - Final Part

Warning: NSFW - Minors do not interact, this part is for 18+. Apologies for the spelling mistakes/English grammar mistakes - English is not my native language. Writing this was quite difficult since I am asexual/demisexual and writing about men's sexuality was a real fascinating challenge.

This is the second part of the threesome, I will conclude this story after this part and go back to the Captive story (since we always need more Buggy content ;)). Thanks for all the support and as always -

Enjoy reading!

You find yourself taken aback and filled with awe as you witness the transformation in these two men who have always seemed locked in a competition and heated quarrels. The sight before you is a revelation—a serene calmness and unity that surpasses any previous animosity - when it comes to sharing you and your body they seem to work like the perfect team. 

Buggy is standing now in front of you, his hard cock pressing against your wet folds, just where Shanks had left off he immediately continues to spread your legs and enters you. Unlike Shanks, he is quick and rough, he does not wait for you to get used to his size, he just takes what he needs.

“Oh Buggy..!” you mewl, trying to reach for him, but it is Shanks, who is grabbing your hand, holding you gently. He is slowly guiding your left hand to his throbbing cock, letting you work on him while Buggy is pumping into you. You are biting your lips, throwing your head back again, you feel so good, you didn't know you could feel that good. You know Shanks is watching and the arousal you feel by being watched is beyond your belief. He starts to groan, seeing the clown pirate inside you seems to really turn him on.  Buggy enjoys that he has you for himself now, his hips relentlessly pushing into yours, he smothers you in kisses, something you did not expect - he is possessive and wants to show Shanks that he is able to make you feel good. Buggy increases his speed, hitting your sweetest spot and you can feel you are close to come on his dick. 

“Come for me, show me that I am the one you need to feel good…!” 

He groans in your ear and you slowly gaze to your side - Shanks wears a knowing smile, a glimmer of understanding in his eyes. It becomes clear to you that he is willing to let Buggy take the lead, conceding to Buggy's desire to claim the position of number one. In this moment, Shanks demonstrates a rare sense of selflessness and you feel deeply attracted to him. He knows Buggys childish desire to win and he gives in. But you have no time to think about your feelings, as the pirate clown is clenching his teeth, holding your hips tight and lifting your legs higher to reach his climax.

As he moans your name and spills his seed inside of you, you also reach your second orgasm, with an unknown intensity and deep affection for the man who just claimed you as his own. His makeup bears slight smudges from the perspiration glistening on his skin, he leans over you panting heavily. In this moment, he appears so remarkably handsome, radiating a captivating charm that draws you in. His eyes, filled with an intensity that seems to penetrate your very being, peer into the depths of your heart and soul, forging a connection that feels exhilarating. You still feel his cock twitching against your pussy walls and you wish he would never let go of you. 

The profound appreciation that had welled up for Shanks is now mirrored in your feelings towards Buggy. You feel confused, exhilarated, tired - your legs are shaking from the rough treatment. 

Shanks, most likely aroused by seeing the both of you coming and with the help of your hand hisses and groans. Not holding back he is shooting his load on your hand.  Buggy takes a step back to not get hit, this somehow makes you chuckle as you carefully lick your hand to get a good taste of the red-haired pirate. You let out a final long sigh and close your eyes for a moment. The knowledge that you are the recipient of their devotion and adoration brings a profound sense of fulfillment and contentment.

An awkward silence envelops the three of you now as you hastily gather your scattered clothes, trying to conceal your exposed bodies. In this moment of quiet, it is Shanks who takes notice of your shaken state and the weariness that likely lingers from the rough treatment.

As you struggle to regain your composure, Shanks steps forward, his concern breaking the silence, his voice laced with compassion. "Are you okay?" he asks, his eyes reflecting his genuine worry. 

“Thanks, I am good.”, you smile and you feel again this deep affection towards both of them, you feel thankful for the moment you have shared and you try to smile at Buggy as well. You feel the need to reward the both of them, not only for making you cum twice but for being such a good team. 

Buggy approaches you now, taking his white glove, gently wiping away the smeared makeup from your face, an intimate gesture that serves as a testament to his own ability to rival Shanks' kindness.

"I've never witnessed such unity between the two of you before," you express, your voice filled with a mix of surprise and wonder. "I never knew that you both had the capability to set aside your differences and simply... not fight and just..."

“..just fuck.” Shanks laughs. 

“Well, but I was the one who made you cum, sweetheart. So I guess it's going to be a night on the ship of the Buggy pirates for you…!” The clown chuckles, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards him. Shanks knowingly smiles at the both of you and you smile back at him. 

"If I'm to be a Buggy pirate tonight, then I want to wake up as a red-haired pirate tomorrow," you declare, your words tinged with a sense of teasing and honesty. You hold on to each other as you slowly walk down to the harbor, guided by the gentle glow of the moon illuminating your path. 

[olderthannetfic]

This might be an odd or personal question, but could I ask how you started knitting and where you started as a beginner? Or what would you recommend? I’ve tried to join clubs and groups irl, but there’s so much drama and gossiping. When I said I didn’t want to take part in that aspect, they started ostracizing and gossiping about me. Any websites, yt channels or books you’d recommend for a beginner?

--

Haha.

My friend, this does not even register on the scale of deeply personal or odd questions people have sent me.

I've been trying to remember exactly how I started and why (like, even before this ask). I think it was on a family vacation to Scotland the summer before I started college. That would have been in 1999.

I taught myself from one of those awful 90s pamphlets with the line drawings. They're a nightmare compared to being able to see someone do the motions in person or even in a video. I had some awful plastic needles and no guidance on yarn and just knit with what I found at some shop there. Do not recommend!

I achieved what I wanted during college, which was to make a nice cable-knit sweater that I still wear, and then I got frustrated with crappy acrylic yarn and drifted away from knitting until a year or so ago.

The fact is, I basically didn't do beginner projects. I moved straight from making one rectangle to making grandiose sweaters or whatever else struck my fancy. (But if you want to know, I was using Viking Patterns for Knitting and a bunch of Alice Starmore books, all of which you can still buy.) I know plenty of people who did it this way, but you certainly don't have to.

And you definitely don't need to learn from a terrible 90s printed pamphlet!

Luckily, nowadays, you can find a tutorial on just about anything on Youtube. I enjoy watching the technical and historical types discuss quirks of knitting you might not think of without years of practice or research.

Roxanne Richardson is great, for example.

Look for somebody old, not wearing a lot of makeup, and not talking about their indie dyeing/yarn business and you'll avoid most of the clowns who learned to knit five minutes ago and now want to be knitfluencers.

When I want a super simple technique tutorial, I usually end up looking at either Nimble Needles or VeryPink Knits. I find her super annoying, but her tutorials are spot-on. Norman's voice is much more soothing and I just enjoy his presence more, but both of them have good ultra close-up shots of what they're doing (which lots of vloggers don't because it requires special equipment).

I'd just figure out what kind of finished products you want to use knitting for and then find patterns and tutorials geared towards those.

Cables are relatively easy. Stranded colorwork requires a fair amount of physical coordination and some people find it rather difficult at first.

Circular needles are far more popular than traditional straight ones for people starting today.

Cotton yarn is relatively less nice to knit with than wool for most people, but it tends to be the natural fiber available at a low price point from major retailers.

Picking up general tips like that by watching various youtubers will help you pick a project that won't be too painful to work on.

People who naturally knit loosely should consider grippy bamboo or wooden needles. People who naturally knit tightly should consider slippery metal ones.

My biggest piece of advice is that you're usually better off with something "hard" that you actually like rather than a "practice" project you don't care about, at least after you've made like one rectangle to practice doing a knit stitch at all.

--

Finding community can be hard, and yes, some crafting hobbies are infested with drama.

But if you just want to know how to knit, you're way better off with some video tutorials and a nice pattern you like.