#dramatic but cathartic kinda way

[letbuckfuck]

why is this MY LIFEEE i've been crushing on this girl all year who's an RA in my building and i literally don't even know her name or if she even likes girls (she gives vibes like she does though) but she's so cute and she has this dog who i always see that's adorable too and anyways yeah i have this stupid insane crush on this girl who doesn't know i exist. anyways just now i was sitting outside staring at the moon feeling sorry for myself and a little dramatic and she comes outside with her dog and her dog runs up to me and she lets me pet them and we talk for a little bit but then she i guess needs to wear her dog out a little so they go to sleep so she plays catch with her dog while i go back to being dramatic staring at the sky and then i left because i freaked out and couldn't go talk to her like a normal fucking person. and she didn't really give the vibes that she even really wanted to be friends with me like she was kinda just being polite while i was obviously more into our convo so i think i need to just leave it alone but this is horrible. i've liked her all year and we finally talk for the first time out of nowhere in a situation which quite frankly feels like fate but nothing happens i don't even catch her name and she doesn't ask me for mine. and it's the end of the year and i'm literally never gonna see her again. i hate my life so much why is the universe constantly playing a cosmic joke on me

[wildemaven]

strangers : poolside | dave york

pairing: dave york x f!reader word count: 6622 content warnings: 18+ blog; ANGST, soft!Dave, established relationship, miscommunication (like a lot), mentions of alcohol and food, workaholic Dave, morning breath, Dave’s stupid phone, talks of marital woes, slight exhibitionism, breast/nipple/clit play, a random handsome stranger, jealous Dave, talk of having or wanting children, a kiss of fluff, implied/alluding to infidelity (there is none, reader just doesn’t know this), reader is mentioned wearing lingerie and a bathing suit- but zero description features, no age given but it’s implied she’s at least over 30, no y/n, established relationship, this is au- no Carol or kids, if I missed anything let me know. notes: ahh! I’m so nervous for this chapter!! But so excited for it also. I’m so glad I took my time with it so it could be exactly what it needed to be— which is kinda of a roller coaster of emotions. While the story is completely fictional, this has felt very cathartic to me because I dealt with a lot of similar thoughts/feelings as the reader. Anywho! Biggest thank you to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for literally holding my hand through this and helping me work through it. 💕 strangers masterlist | previous | next | inspo board | playlist

The soft glow of the television bathes the hotel room in a soft ambient flicker. Faint colors and scene changes adjust the room’s atmosphere. Actors silently exchanging words back and forth, expressions all the more dramatic with the muted volume. The movie you’ve been looking forward to seeing, long forgotten, playing out in silence across the screen. 

As expected, the bed is better than anything you have ever slept in. Its plush mattress, divine and soft. Similar to what you assume it might be like to doze off among the clouds. It braces your bodies with ease through shifting positions as the evening extends into the early hours of the next day. 

The intricate structure of lace and mesh material felt exquisite on your skin. Molding over your body like it was made for you and only you. The cups of the teasing bra cradling the weight of your breast, pushed up on display, enticing enough to bring a man to his knees— the plan at least. Taking your time, admiring yourself in the bathroom mirror once everything was in place. Your eyes roaming over your body, letting your hands follow suit. Imaging all the ways Dave would map over your skin in the same manner. The prospect for what was to come was thrilling. Desire blooming in your veins. Arousal warm and already pooling in the crotch of your panties. It was evident, your body filled with pent up lust, ready to be satiated by your husband. 

You delicately dotted drops of perfume to your skin— base of your throat, behind your ears, inner wrists. The warmth  from your pulse points amplifying the lush fig and sandalwood notes, blending with your natural pheromones instantaneously. Before rejoining Dave, you slipped a hotel robe over your body, concealing the lacey number with wild anticipation.  

His hands, gentle where they met your body with a soft caressing motion. Not rushed or seeking more than they were ready for. Blazing heat emitted from him, scorching your skin with a fieriness you so desperately craved. They stilled. Lingered. 

Dave. Your voice cautious, velvety sweet, calling out to him. 

The sounds that fell from his lips were beyond anything you could have prepared for. A booming roar reverberated through him. Filling the room. Consuming you. As quickly as the rousing fuse had been lit, it had just as quickly fizzled out mid burn. 

Dave’s snoring was like a shock to the system. The warm buzz of arousal dissolved into a cold emptiness as you lay in bed alongside Dave’s sleeping form. No amount of lace or lack thereof, seemed to be enough to seduce the sluggish man, already nodding off when you had come slinking out from the bathroom. Propped up on pillows, his eyelids growing heavy with each forced blink as stared blankly at the television. His dinner plate picked over and discarded onto the nightstand. 

This scenario you knew all too well— and regularly. The build up, always so hopeful. The prospect of Dave having his way with you, pure exhilaration. Your body so desperate, in need of a release that didn’t hail from a hurried moment alone with a tiny vibrating wand before crawling into bed with Dave’s sleeping form.

Your brain refused to shut off as you lay staring up at the ceiling, willing away tears. You finally settled on the only thing that made sense at this early hour.  He no longer desired you like he once did. No amount of time or vacations away could restore that connection. Then there was also that outcome that you dreaded the idea of entertaining— maybe it just wasn’t you he desired. 

*

The whole evening had been on a constant loop. Replaying and taking precedence over your usual fictional fantasies that unfolded upon entering a heavy slumber. The hotel suite balcony offered a reprieve from the room, quietly sipping your coffee alone. 

It was mid morning when you decided to crawl out of bed, in desperate need of something to numb the dullness that settled behind your eyes. Sleep did little to ease the tornado of thoughts that swept through your mind as the sun rose over the coast of California. Your brain had a funny way of tormenting you with fabricated information. On high alert the minute it sensed uncertainty, in search of answers to unasked questions.

As the coastal fog burned off, you were able to properly take in the view. A colony of gulls flew by, their collaborative squawking was every bit as annoying as it was captivating. 

Fellow early risers strolled the sidewalks below, coffees and large water bottles in tow, all absorbed in their little private worlds. Couples hand in hand, in search of  the perfect ocean view to start their day. A strange feeling of resentment had crept in. These strangers, carrying on with their lives, seemingly unaware of the jealousy you harbored for their happiness. 

Your thoughts trail back to Dave and the evening again. It was only the first day and the optimism around this vacation was starting to wane. 

“Shit— I must have really needed some fucking sleep.”  Dave groans as he joins you on the balcony, his hands rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The sheet wrinkles embedded into the side of his face matched the similar ones on his cotton pajama pants and gray sleep shirt. His sleep etched voice is one of your favorite things to wake up to each morning. “I don’t even remember falling asleep at all.” 

His body molds into yours, caging you in against the edge of the balcony. He’s warm and soft first thing in the morning. Like a moth to a flame, his lips find your skin. Tiny wet pecks from the base of your neck to your temple. 

There was a point in time where things in your marriage felt very easy and Dave wasn’t always so invested in his work. You never felt like you were competing with files and phone calls for his undivided attention. The infatuation he held for you was palpable, leaving little room for doubt or worry. 

When you met Dave there was an enigmatic quality about him. Neither of you were in a relationship or seeking out one, but also not completely opposed to the prospect of exploring one if something happened to fall into your laps. A chance meeting at a bar when his drink had literally fallen into your lap led to the rest of the evening spent tucked away in a dimly lit booth. The buzz of alcohol had you talking his ear off, and he allowed you to do so, consuming every little detail about you. 

Dave shared minimal information about himself. Very on brand for his reserved but alluring demeanor. Aside from basic introductory  facts, the only real thing you knew about him was his recent discharge from the military and his onboarding career in the CIA. 

By the end of the night, you felt there was something intriguing about Dave, completely drawn to him. He was kind, generous and clearly the greatest listener. Ideally, he was someone you could see yourself with, wanting to know the ins and outs of who he was. So much so, you gave him your number. Scrawled across a beer soaked napkin, the ink bleeding out as each digit was carefully written out. He even said he’d call, leaving you with a kiss on your cheek before rejoining his buddies and calling it a night. 

It was a week before you heard from him again, nearly giving up any hope he would be even remotely interested in you. 

You learned that Dave’s walls were strong. Built of the strongest concrete. Resistant and impermeable to the elements. Over time his walls couldn’t withstand the depth at which you were willing to endure for him. Slowly crumbling and exposed. Finding that underneath the rubble was a man who was all in. A man who loved hard and never once made you question his loyalty to you. 

“We can blame it on the jet lag.” You laugh softly into the coffee mug, taking another sip— definitely in need of more. 

“Good morning, Honey.” He says, nudging his aquiline nose into your cheek, instinctively turning into him. 

“Morning, Babe.” Dave turns you, the top of your robe slides off your shoulder— exposing the lace set you were still wearing.  

“You’re still wearing it. Didn’t even get the chance to peel it off of you like I wanted to last night.” Pulling at the robe belt, the front falls open. Dave’s eyes widened, taking you all in, his irises now a deeper shade of his usual brown. “

“Yeah, well—“ You huffed, suppressing the impulse to acknowledge the hurt that was still ever-present. 

“Fuck— Baby, I’m sorry. I'm two for two now. Let me make it up to you?” 

Dave’s hands breach the inside of your robe. His hips flush to you— he’s hard, morning wood ready and eager. His deft fingers slide up the length of your spine, your skin covered in goosebumps once he reaches the clasp of the bra. 

“Morning coffee breath— I’m gonna go brush my teeth.” Your head swerves his oncoming kiss, pulling the front of your robe closed again. 

A hitch in your confidence. Curling in on yourself as you dislodge your body from where he has you pinned. That hot coiling response building in your lower abdomen, moments ago desperate for the way Dave wants you, now subsiding to a low simmer.

“You— um, have those calls you still need to make this morning?” You ask him, standing half way through the door, turning enough to catch the sunlight illuminating the bafflement on Dave’s face. 

“Uh— Yeah. Still need to make those calls.” Dave’s dejected tone hits you like a bucket of ice. His head hanging and palms digging into his eyes. 

“How long do you think it should take?”

“Few hours, give or take. Done by noon at the latest.”

“Okay. Maybe, if you’re up for it when you’re done— maybe we can go to the pool? Lounge a bit. Have some drinks. I got some new bathing suits, and have been dying to wear them. I think you might even like them.” An olive branch in the form of you served on a platter wearing minimal clothing. The likelihood of Dave accepting is rather favorable. 

It’s unmistakable, devouring you— all conspicuous like and intense. Surveying every inch of your form leaning against the doorway. 

Up the length of your smooth bare legs. The front of the robe flapping with the ocean breeze offering a peek of thigh and black lace. The fingers of your free hand toy with the collar, making it lay askew across your chest. A single breast exposed to cool morning air, nipple tight against the sheer material. 

His gaze finally meets yours, shoulders lowering to their normal level. The slightest lift at the corner of his mouth, tip of his tongue gliding over his full bottom lip. Both of you landing on the same page, temptation reciprocated with blatant irresistibility. 

“Yeah— Yeah, we can definitely do that.” He replied, his smile widening, the corner of his eyes crinkled— the Dave you fell in love with all those years ago in his truest form. 

“Okay. I’ll order us some breakfast then. More coffee too. I drank the whole pot.” There’s a giddy feeling erupting inside of you. It seems like it’s been ages since you’ve seen Dave smile— genuinely smiling. 

“Not surprised by that one bit. Hey—“ Capturing your attention before you’ve completely left the balcony. “I love you, you know that right?”

“Of course I do. I love you, too.”

Maybe it’s complacency that makes you feel like things within your marriage are stagnant, even borderline dull as of recently. The lack of regular intimacy, a normal thing all couples encounter at some point through their years together, not a telltale sign of extramarital meandering. Maybe that’s also not a bad thing. Just a season of life. A small hiccup in your otherwise normal and loving relationship. 

*

As promised, it’s noon by the time Dave wraps up his final phone call and you’re both sitting atop the roof of the hotel. Basking in the sweltering rays of the California sun is exactly what was needed after being cooped up in the room all morning. 

Breakfast in bed while Dave paced the length of the balcony. One phone call after the next, all varying in degrees of duration and intensity based on how animated Dave’s hand gestures and contorted expressions were. You had delivered his plate of eggs, sausage and toast during his first call, leaving it on the small table along with a fresh pot of coffee. He kissed you and mouthed a ‘thank you’ before sinking his teeth into the burnt buttered bread and continuing his meeting or whatever it was he was doing. 

The minute he walked in announcing he was finished, your two piece suit was on and you were throwing Dave’s swim trunks at him from across the room. Tote bag containing pool lounging necessities— sunscreen, sunglasses, current book, wallet —was packed and waiting by the door. Your sheer excitement filled the room, a contagious feeling in the way Dave was mildly laughing at your frantic antics. 

Either you both were the only ones staying at this hotel or no one else found joy in a gorgeous rooftop pool like you did. In the few hours spent lounging poolside, there was one, maybe two, other guests that also had an afternoon by the pool on their itinerary, too. There was a silent understanding among everyone that they stay in their respective spaces, evenly spaced out.  

No one was complaining though. Fewer people meant less people lined up for cocktail refills at the bar. Fewer obnoxious conversations you didn’t have to drown out while focusing on the romance novel you were close to finishing. Zero avoidance of bodies in the water while Dave and you took a dip to cool off. Aside from visiting the pacific, this is how you intended to spend the rest of your days in California. 

The moment you dive into your book, time and everything around you becomesa faint distraction from the fictional world you're absorbed in. The sheriff with his cowboy drawl and ridiculously handsome mustache, falls for the sweet baker. A reunion of past lovers, doing life together somewhere on the east coast in the small town they both reside in. A typical smitten cowboy vying for her love and attention at any chance he gets. There’s a permanent smile plastered across your face, dog-eared corners for future you to return to with the intention to relive the passages all over again. Page by page, you’re so engrossed with their whirlwind romance— you never want it to end. 

The book consumes you longer than you planned for. So much so, you're unaware of the fact that Dave is no longer immersed in the LA Times he picked up in the hotel lobby earlier. The inked paper now folded neatly and discarded on the ground next to your tote.

Dave’s tortoise colored shades blocking out the sun and hiding the fact that he’s passed out. For how long, you’re not sure. Breathing is light and rhythmic. His usual thundering snore trades for small puffs of air from his parted lips. His bare golden chest, now a pale shade of red— shit!

Folding the current page of the book, tossing it to the end of your lounge chair, you sit up in search for more sunscreen for Dave, and yourself. Sifting through the contents of your tote, finding the bottle conveniently at the bottom. Hating the feeling of residual lotion getting between your jewelry, you remove your rings and toss them into a secured pocket inside the tote. 

“Dave? Babe, wake up!” Gently nudging his bare shoulder to wake him. 

“Hmmm—“ Dave grumbles a string of incoherent sleep laden words, lifting his head in your direction. 

“Sorry. You passed out and I was so caught up in my book, I didn’t realize the umbrella shade wasn’t covering us anymore. You’re not completely burnt, but we’ve been here for a while. Sit up and let me put some more sunscreen on you.” You motion for him to sit forward, then squeeze a heaping amount of lotion in your hand, tossing the back into the tote. 

Dave hissed, his back arching as you smooth the lotion over his warmed skin, allowing himself to ease into your touch after a few tensed moments. His head hangs below his shoulders as you continue to work the sunscreen over every inch of him that’s exposed to the blazing sun. 

“Fuuuuck— that feels nice.” He groans when your touch switches to a different pressure. Adjusting your focus from protecting him from the harmful rays to pampering him, working out the built up tension he carries around daily. 

Your fingers dig into the meat of his back as they glide up the length of his spine, pinching and squeezing over the rounded muscles of his shoulders. Thumbs pressing into the tender spot in his neck he’s been rubbing at for the better part of the last few weeks, craning his neck to the side. So relaxed you can barely make out his mumbled appreciation. “That fucking knot has been bothering me— Ouch! Fucking hell, woman!” 

“Shh! So dramatic.” You laugh, easing up on the pressure. Your hands still lingering, smoothing over his broadness, taking advantage of the closeness. 

“Oh, quit it. Those hands always were fucking magic, though. Already feels better when I move it.” Demonstrating how limber and loose it feels, rolling his head from side to side. 

Were. His use of past tense doesn’t go unnoticed. It might have just been an unintentional slip, but its use isn’t lost on you in the slightest. It feels like it’s been ages, since you had explored each other—  more than just a fleeting brush of hands. Reveling in an endless honeymoon phase, well beyond the traditional sense. You can only assume he had that same realization too, hence his choice in using were instead of are. But this moment feels too good to dwell on the logistics of proper past and present tense, so you push the thought aside. 

“I’m sure if you play your cards right, there’s plenty more magic these hands can do later.” You playfully purred, not missing the way Dave’s eyebrows jut up from behind his sunglasses— that catches his attention. 

You settle back into your lounge chair, sliding the straps of your bikini top down and off your arms, turning it into a makeshift strapless top as you prepare to cover yourself in a fresh layer of sunscreen. 

 “What are you doing?” Dave tilts his head forward, just enough so he can peer at you over his glasses. 

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m reapplying some on myself, too.” Running the oily lotion up your arms and shoulders. 

“Here. Let me help you. Seems only fair.” His hand reaches out to you.  

“It’s fine, Dave. I can manage.” 

You’re not sure why you're shocked by his offer. Probably because you just assumed he would be diving back into reading up on worldly news. Top slimy politician was fighting for his life against rather damning accusations— the man is guilty, solely based on public opinion polls and your inherent duty as a woman to always believe the woman. Research shows more couples are putting their careers first, waiting to have children well into their thirties— that one does catch your eye, making a mental note to snag the article at some point. Sure, you can manage, but you also don’t want to. Not with him right here, so willing and capable. 

“Don’t be stubborn, Baby. And don’t think I won’t drag that sweet ass of yours over here if I have to. Give me the bottle and sit down.” 

It feels incredible. You have to remind yourself that you’re both in a public setting. This isn’t the time nor the place to let the salacious side of you self-indulge, but Dave’s hands are inducing the most carnal thoughts and it’s taking everything in you to not haul him back up to the room. 

Dave had practically hauled you into the chair. Maneuvering you both into a comfortable sitting position, his legs spread and feet planted firmly on the ground and you practically sitting in his lap. 

The task at hand is long forgotten, no longer a priority or even a relevant thought as you melted into him. His chest firm against your back, thighs caging and tight against your own. 

It’s when his hands cup your breast that nearly sends you into another dimension, so brazen and menacing. A practiced musician, slowly plucking each string of his beloved instrument as the chords play the intro to his well rehearsed song. Rolling your peaked nipples between his fingers, the fabric of your top adding just the right amount of pinched pulsation. Your eyes fluttering shut as your head falls back onto his shoulder, stifling a moan as pleasure surges through you. 

“I swear to god, Dave— fuck! Someone is going to catch us! ahh! Y-you need to s-stop before…” 

“Hmmm. I don’t know, Baby— I think you want them to see. Want them to catch my hands all over you. Hear the sounds I’m able to pull from you. I could probably fuck you right here and no one would even care.” Dave murmurs into your ear. A husked sonorous tone that has you completely surrendering to him. 

He seems to have this whole thing thoroughly thought out in a brief amount of time. Keen to his surroundings, already having scanned the entire area, aware of the people situated in cabanas on the far corner of the pool— paying no mind to either of you. His methodical nature takes hold, even as exposed as you are, he’d never put you in any situation he didn’t have complete confidence in. 

“Dave—“ Your body writhes with each continuous change in motion, the way he’s oscillating between a dizzy tweak of your nipples and the sudden dart of his tongue grazing your ear lobe. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you. It’s been so long— fucking miss the way you feel, Baby.” Fuck. He’s not wrong. 

You might have even mentioned you would be into it at some point. All vulnerable and the slightest possibility of being detected. It was more thrilling than you had expected it to be. You weren’t even ashamed how you were so absolutely turned on by your own boldness. 

“Please—“ 

“I bet you’re fucking wet for me too. Hmm? Would take much— pull those skimpy little bottoms to the side, bet I’d slide right in.” God you were! Unquestionably so, and throbbing. 

His hand traveled to where you’ve been craving him for so long, fingers brushing the top of your bathing suit bottoms.  

“Christ! Don’t you d-dare put those lotion covered fingers anywhere near my— Fuuuuck!”

Dave wouldn’t dare, but that doesn’t mean he won’t work around it. His hand cupping your clothed mound, your eager hips rocking against the heel of his palm. His face smashes into your cheek when he feels how wet you are, your bottoms sticky with arousal and clinging to your pussy as he slides two fingers back up to your aching clit. Groaning as he takes your lobe between his teeth and gently bites down. 

“Tsk tsk!” Clicking his tongue in a menacing manner. “Eyes open, Baby. Need you to keep watch, can’t have anyone seeing you while you fall apart.”

You’ve missed this side of him. Spontaneous sex was always something that was a regular occurrence in your early relationship even well into your marriage. You always looked forward to the days he’d come home without so much as a hello when he walked through the front door. His briefcase and coat were abandoned somewhere in the entryway— I missed you so much today. Need you right now —and then he was fucking you like a starved man against the wall in the hallway. 

“Dave—“ Your lashes flutter, the sun unforgiving as you fight to keep your eyes focused on your surroundings. Your body so desperate for pleasure, so willing to succumb, just needing a little help to get there.

Each tender circle he draws over your clit has your brain muddled with bliss. A restrained whimper escapes, doing your best to concentrate as Dave continues to work you into a euphoric mess. But it’s so hard when your body has been yearning for this, all of this, for so long. 

Your nails bite into his thighs as your lower abdomen begins to tighten. 

“Baby, you’re gonna have to be quiet. Those gorgeous sounds are gonna get us in trouble.” Fuck! Almost there! So fucking close—

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

“Dave— is that…” The lounge vibrates, halting Dave’s movements. The orgasm that was just starting to barrel towards you, vanishing from your grasp. 

“Shit! I, uh, think someone saw us—“ What?! No one is even paying attention!

Dave extricates himself from the chair, adjusting his sunglasses and his pronounced erection bulging under his swim trunks. He hastily grabs for some things as you sit perplexed by the sudden change in his demeanor. Your sexy audacious husband is gone before your eyes— leaving you with the tight lipped cryptic Dave, who you can’t seem to get a read on. 

“What the fuck, Dave!” Watching as he slips on his sandals and throws his shirt over himself, playing no mind to a single button. 

“Let’s finish this later— when we get back to the room, hmm? I’m gonna… go get us more drinks.” He says as he kisses the top of your head and heads in the direction of the bar. Hoping he brings back some shots, because you’re gonna need something strong to take the fucking edge off. 

“Yeah— sure…” You say. Stunned and breathless.

*

You're not sure if you want to cry, scream or laugh as you crawl back into your chair. Maybe a mixture of all of them. What a sight that would be. 

That brief glimpse of the fun adventurous Dave was intoxicating, even now your body is still buzzing and aroused. There’s a pang in your chest at how quickly he was able to mold back into the man you’ve needed for the past year, yearned to have back. Then instantly closed off and distant as if it never happened. Maybe the sun was getting to you, that whole moment some fucking hallucinated fantasy. 

Rather than dwell on it, you push the hurt aside. You reach for your book and settle back into the chair. Finding where you left off and jumping back in with the handsome sheriff, who literally worships the ground that this woman walks on— must be nice. 

“S’cuse me ma’am. Sorry to bother you, but is this seat taken?” A deep voice breaks your concentration, realizing he’s in fact asking you if the unoccupied seat next to you is available. 

A man in his mid forties, maybe early fifties is standing at the foot of the chair next to you. Your sunglasses hide the fact that you're giving him a once over, noting every detail about this random stranger who’s decided of all the empty seats, he wants the one next to you. 

His hair is slightly disheveled in a deliberate manner. Peppered streaks of gray throughout his curly locks. He’s wearing green and red plaid swim shorts and a worn dark blue t-shirt, kind of an odd pairing but it seems to work for him. You notice a dimple hidden beneath the gray scruff that almost hides his angular features. He seems harmless and rather handsome— plus, it would be rude to turn him away with no explanation. 

“Nope. Feel free to use it.” You smile at him kindly and go in search of the words you had just read. 

“Thanks so much.” He says as he removes his shirt and settles down on the lounge chair. 

“Of course. It’s no problem at all.” You tell him. 

You don’t even dare to look in his direction. You imagine this is what Eve felt like, tempted and allured by carnality in the form of an apple. Except your carnal desire is a fizzling orgasm your husband couldn’t even be bothered to deliver, now reawakening at the sight of this beautiful man. 

You would never act on anything, even as beautiful as he was, you were married and you love Dave— but that didn’t mean you couldn't admire, sunglasses masking your lingering eyes. 

“I’m Joel by the way. Joel Miller.” His hand outstretched to you, that damn dimple even more pronounced when he smiles. 

“I take it you’re not from around these parts are you now, Joel.” You give him your name and return the handshake— his grip is rather firm, but friendly. 

 “What gave it away?” He laughs. There’s a hint of southern drawl woven into his rich voice. 

“Well, you don’t seem like the California boy type for starters. Not that that’s a bad thing— I just get the impression you’re far from home.” You fold another page and drop your book into your bag, your attempt at reading sidelined again. 

“You’d be correct then. Texas— born ‘n raised. Since we’re makin’ impressions, I’m gonna guess you’re not from ‘round here either?” He looks over to you, his arms crossed over his tanned chest. The breeze catching a few of his curls, tossing them about. 

“You would also be correct. So what brings you all the way west, cowboy?” 

“My daughter, actually. She’s gettin’ married this week. Fiancé’s family is out here and they’ve got connections and what not, so they’re able to do it here at the hotel. They put me up in one of the suites, bein’ I am the father of the bride an’ all.” 

“Oh! Congratulations then. I’m sure you’re so excited then.” 

“Yea’. Crazy seein’ her all grown up an’ goin’ off on her own. Still got one more though. She’s turning 16– little wild thing she is. Keeps me on my toes, but I love her for it.”

You get the sense that being a father is one of his favorite things. He hasn’t stopped smiling since he started talking about his kids. 

“You and your wife must be so proud.”

“Nah, no wife— or girlfriend. Jus’ me and my girls. So, now that I’ve bothered you with my life story. What brings you out this way to California?” 

What am I even doing in California? You think to yourself. It’s then you catch sight of your husband at the bar. Dave is already looking in your direction, leaning against the wood counter, waving at you with his phone glued to his ear. 

“See that guy over at the bar? The one talking on the phone.” You wave back at Dave. You pick up on the shift in his demeanor from where you're sitting. His jaw clenched and brows furrowed enough you can make out the deep lines across his forehead. If you didn’t know any better, you would think he was shooting daggers at Joel— but you do know better, and that’s exactly what’s happening. “That’s my husband. We’re supposed to be here relaxing— not working. But he’s over there taking a phone call, when he was going to grab us more drinks and I’m here relaxing. Maybe one day he’ll actually show some interest in me again— until then it’s just work work work. Geez— I’m sorry to dump all of that personal shit on you. Like you even care about a stranger's marital problems.”  

“No need to apologize— I get it. My ex and me had our own issues. Tried to work through them, for the sake of the kids n’ all.” He says, waving off your apology.  

“I’m guessing it didn’t go so well?” You look out over the pool, catching a few gulls passing over. You can already sense his heavy answer before he even gives it to you. 

“Well, she’s my ex for a reason. But it’s for the best. And not saying that’s what’s gonna happen for you. We love our kids and do this whole co-parentin’ thing better than when we were married. Umm— y'all got any kids?”

“Uhh— no, no kids. Yet… I think? I mean, we both talked about once our careers were established we would start trying. And we did try for a bit, but never got pregnant, which we were okay with— figured it would happen when it happens. But now, I’m not really sure if it’s what he wants anymore.” You pick at the polish on your nails. 

You realize it’s been awhile since you and Dave readdressed the conversation about having kids. It’s always been idling in the back of your mind. Becoming a mother was something you would love to do. With Dave never really ever being present or interested in any sort of in-depth conversation, you haven’t really discussed where you both stand now on the topic. 

“Have you asked him?”

“No. I haven’t. I probably sh—“

You’re cut off when Dave reappears, holding nothing but his phone and wallet. 

“Hey, Sweetheart!” There’s a hint of irritation in his voice, his tone a slightly higher pitch than usual, though he tries to hide it as he bends to kiss the top of your head. 

“Babe, this is Joel. He’s here for his oldest daughter’s wedding. Joel, this is my husband Dave. Where’s our drinks?” Attempting to ease the weird tension he brought back with him instead of your drinks. . 

Dave’s glaring at Joel. His lips pressed in a tight line and his nostrils flared. Irritated? No, it’s jealousy. He’s jealous and it’s oozing from him. Dave was jealous at the attention, all innocent and friendly, that you were receiving from another man. 

“Uh, nice to meet you.” Dave reaches over you, taking Joel’s hand in his. He’s friendly enough, even though his smile looks rather forced. “We hate to run out on you like this, Joel— we’ve got dinner reservations later on and the sun is starting to get to me. You don’t mind if we head to the room early, Babe.”

“Yeah, of course, Baby. Let’s go— you probably need more water and some rest before dinner.” You get up from the chair to pull your cover up dress on and begin to gather everything between yours and Joel’s chair, throwing it haphazardly back into your bag. “It was so nice meeting you, Joel. Hope your daughter has a beautiful day and you have a great time.”

“Thank you. Now you two get outta here and enjoy your evening. My brother is wanderin’ around somewhere. I’m sure he’ll end up here at some point. Nice meetin’ y'all.” Joel says, giving a cordial nod and a two finger wave. 

You call out to Dave when you realize he’s already halfway to the exit, hoping he’ll snap out of whatever this thing is he’s doing. Knowing it’s more than just the sun that’s bothering him. 

“Dave, what’s going on? Are you okay?” You ask, stepping into the elevator with him. 

“I’m good. Got a bit of a headache. Probably just too much sun.” His thumb smashes into the floor number. The elevator doors slowly obstructing the rooftop view. 

*

The walk back to the room felt like it was never ending. The slap on your sandals against the carpeted floor and exchanged hello’s with the sweet old lady dragging far more bars than she could handle were the only sounds echoing through the long hallway. 

Dave’s body, all broad and inflexible, blocked the room door as he searched for the key card in his wallet. 

“Dave? Are you going to talk to me and tell me what’s actually going on?” You ask softly. 

The door beeps and Dave pushes it open. He seems to not have lost all his senses because he holds it open for you. 

“Dave, will you at least look at me— please?” You toss everything you’re carrying onto the bed, watching him walk over to the floor to the large windows. 

Even from behind, you know he’s wearing his sharp scowl. Proven by the way his hip is cocked out and on hand resting on his waist, head hanging with his attention on the floor. Too embarrassed to acknowledge he might have overreacted up at the pool. 

“Dave, were you jealous?.” You ask, your voice velvety and sweet. Taking a few tempered steps, you close the distance between you and where he’s standing, needing him to know everything was okay. You smooth over his solid back, all brooding with his shoulder blades tightly drawn together. One hand sliding around to his chest and the other reaching for the hand hanging at his side, intertwining your fingers with his, your grip tightening around him. “Baby— you were, weren't you? It’s okay if you were, you know. It’s obviously a natural reaction to have. I know I’d react the same way if it were you and some gorgeous woman. But baby, you know I only have eyes for you and only you— always. I love you, Dave.”

“I love you and I’m sorry.” Dave sighs, his hand squeezing back. I overreacted and shouldn’t have— it's implied without him actually voicing it, but you know he means it. 

“Did you still want to go out for dinner? If you’re not feeling up to it, we can just order in again so you can rest.” You ask him, resting your nose and lips against his sun warmed skin, breathing him in. 

His aroma is pungent, but familiarly pleasant. A subtle note of coconut blends with his trademark spicy musk and sweat. It reminds you of the summer while you were dating, Dave whisked you away to Rehoboth Beach on the coast of Delaware. Renting out a beach house on the water where you spent every morning watching the sun flee the horizon from the front porch. Evenings spent walking near the water’s edge, recounting your favorite parts of the day and dreaming of a future together.

“Yeah, we can still go out. I just— I need a minute. Gonna get some fresh air.” He says, turning his head to tell you over his shoulder. 

“Okay. I’m going to take a quick shower then.” You kiss the nape of his neck before you leave, grabbing the robe off the accent chair as you head to the bathroom. 

At the flick of the switch, a soft glow of light cascades from the decorative wall sconces. Everything becomes very automatic as you move through the room, placing the robe over the sink,  ridding yourself of your pool attire, thrown into a growing pile in the corner of the room. Intent on unwinding, trusting the spray of hot water will alleviate the weight of today’s tension before going out with your husband, until you hear Dave’s voice fading as he walks out into the balcony, muffled by the distant waves and passing cars. 

“Hey, Ashley. It’s Dave, sorry about earlier…”

Ashley. It’s light and beautiful, and yet feels like the most threatening thing to have ever pierce through your heart. All your emotions flowing, congealing as one giant mass within your ribcage. Its numbness best describes the way you feel, hollowing out the pain in your chest. It's too much to deal with or even believe. You shut the door, avoidance being one of your worst traits— but if you don’t confront it, it doesn’t exist. 

Likes, Comments & Reblogs Appreciated

[venbetta]

Okay, I wanted to talk about this animation by @/Johantly on Twitter

It's 1:31 animation of Freddy in the Endo Daycare having his existential crisis, it slaps so hard... and I just need to ramble about it. (I was trying to add pictures, but it's not loading properly, so... wahh)

The first few seconds have me interested. It's something about the way Freddy moves, feels natural/humanoid. The cut of the camera to a lower mid shot angle gives it a similar feel to a TV show/movie.

Something about the different shots adds a nice a flow that tickles my brain

I also love the use of the voiceline and how it was edited, as its one of those lines that Freddy asks at some point during the game; as if he's having an epiphany about what Gregory saw earlier.

He brings it up with such casual skepticism (his tone makes me giggle), despite saying, "I believe you if you say you have." Hearing that line in game makes me wanna flick him- don't question me, Freddy, I know what I saw >:(

Anyways the natural cut off of dialogue just works, his little quirks of speech and movement in this animation makes him so human like.

The model for the endo daycare is so well crafted that the setting is dark but has a nostalgic vibe. The original game model is cold, dark, and creepy, but for some reason, when I look at this one, it feels different. Nostalgic, as I mentioned, and kinda warm in a weird way. I don't know. Conceptually it's fucking creepy with the endos hanging around, but honestly this gives me the vibes of a college kid going back to his childhood room and reminiscing on the memories. It would be interesting if we find out if the glams remember their training.

Side bit, his mention of never being allowed in the endo daycare is interesting, despite saying he might have been born there. Knowing what we know from HW2, seeing the programming process of juvenile endos is a delicate yet fast-paced one. I've had personal headcanons about what it was like, and Hw2 sort of confirmed it.

It's kinda odd that Freddy isn't allowed to be in the daycare, though, but maybe the existential dread is probably the reason why the techs don't let the main mascots go back there.

Freddy's soliloquy has always made me feel for him, I like listening to it. He sounds so introspective and frantic about it, so seeing it animated with his movements was.. cathartic? (Help I've watched this thing 9 times now)

The glams themselves aren't that expressive in the game. They experience emotions, yeah, but I mean physically emoting is rare or pretty stiff. The most facial expressions we get are in the beginning cutscene, maybe the dissamble ending, and the front entrance cutscene- Freddy being at the forefront. It's kinda hard to emote as a robot, but this animation does a great job with the limited range of expression.

Using Freddy's ears, hands, eyebrows, and his shoulder pads to emote is impressive. I've seen a lot of good security breach animations and they all have their own ways of making the glams emote, and I always love watching them (I'll probably link my favorite fan animations at the end). Also, this one of the few animations I've seen where they actually rigged Freddy's eyebrows to move. Hell yeahhhh!!!

But how Freddy acts in this just gives me joy. "Monty in a different" as he looks over himself, reaching to touch an endo as he says, "They are all the same." He's just so sweet acting.

And the music swelling adds so much more to his monologue. The crescendo as he says, "If I am mass produced, am I still art?" HITS SO FUCKING HARD

I made a joke tweet comparing the shot of him reaching up to the light with Ariel in Part of Your World, but it honestly has that same vibe. He's dramatic, he's whimsical, he's dumb, and also a little annoying, but it's okay. We still love him.

The light shutting off as he breaks out from his dread is kinda funny, though, and Gregory awkwardly standing there adds to it.

Sorry, this is such a cornplate thing to say, but he also uses a contraction when he says, "Greg, I'm not nearly that annoying, am I?"

GOD HES SO SILLY

Then Gregory nodding in response, causing him to get a little droopy is comedy. It's not gut busting humor, but it's the little things that make me giggle okay. Freddy needs to be self-aware, and damnit, if a 12 year old doesn't humble him, then what's the point?

Get called cringe like the rest of us, Freddy.

Okay, the fazerblast commercial doesn't have any reason to go that hard, but it does. The opening sequence for it with Freddy standing there is so... GGHHFHG :33

I'm normal.

He's so cool. I know I called him cringe just a second ago but I'm fan regardless of his flaws okay. This makes me want to play fazerblast with him.

The running, jumping, and shooting he does is *chef's kiss*, even if it's at Monty's expense. Bro should've had a fazerblaster...

Also their faces... it's like Freddy doesn't even remember doing that commercial.

I love how embarrassed he gets, it's so cute-

And it's hard to tell if Gregory is impressed by Freddy's agility or by how cheesy the ad is. The cut was like a cutaway gag in The Office or Family Guy.

Either way, this is peak. I loved this animation, it's only been out less than a week and I've watched it officially 9 times... (and maybe more)

It gives me a sense of comfort. The amount of time and effort put into something that was a small side project is an incredible feat, and it has so much jam packed in a one and half minute animation. It feels like it could be a scene from SB or even a movie. It's so fucking good. This is just a self indulgent, cornplate post and I don't care what anyone says about it. I just like rambling about fnaf sb stuff especially if Freddy is involved.

Here's the playlist full of my favorite security breach animations (some are music videos)

Anyway, thanks for reading..

[iamnmbr3]

So... there's that deleted scene in the final movie, where Draco crosses the courtyard again when Harry gets up, and throws him a wand, yelling, "Potter!"

I'm sure you know what scene I mean.

My main question: what wand is it? Draco's (somehow), or his mother's? Harry is obviously wandless at that point (or Draco wouldn't need to do that), so there's some small chance it *is* Draco's (because Harry has lost it in the meantime).

My other question: is this scene in the books?

Thank you! <3

I definitely know that scene and I will forever be salty that they didn't give it to us and instead gave us the indescribably awful hugging scene.

The scene is not in the books. (Neither is the stupid hugging scene btw). The whole ending fight sequence with Voldemort goes down a bit differently in the books - and is way better and more dramatic and cathartic than in the movie. The movie final fight imho came across as kinda silly. They tried to outdo the books and make it more dramatic but instead actually just undermined the gravitas of the moment and made it kind of underwhelming imho.

Your questions are probably the reason they cut it. It doesn't really make sense. I guess in that version of the movie Draco either retains the Hawthorn wand until that moment or else gets it back at some point - either during the Fiendfyre sequence or when Harry seemingly dies - and then gives it to Harry. Or it's a random wand and it doesn't really matter since the movies don't get into wandlore much.

Why then do I wish it stayed in the movie? Well, the movie already deviated a lot from the books and didn't put much emphasis on wandlore and made a bunch of changes from the books. So why not one more? It wouldn't really affect anything in the movie universe and would give Draco an epic redemption moment. I think the whole hug scene was only there so he could walk over and be standing near Harry to throw him the wand but then we don't even get payoff because the wand scene is cut. So instead we get this awful ooc moment that is terrible for both Draco and Voldemort's characters. And for what? The hug scene should've been totally cut imho. But the wand throwing scene should've stayed. Instead we got the worst of all worlds. Yes I'm salty.

[nimarts]

A public journal entry about my mental health, getting medicated, and my outlook on the future:

This is kinda long, haha. TL;DR at the bottom.

So, he’s fine, but my housemate and I had to take Eddie, my cat, to the emergency vet a couple of nights ago. This compounded on top of the fact that earlier that afternoon, I’d worked the single busiest hour in my workplace’s history (!) during my shift. And then when I brought Eddie home at around 1am, I accidentally gave him too much of his prescribed sedative, so he was almost nonfunctional all of the next day (I called the vet and they confirmed it was ok). This was the also second day of me being on my new meds.

With everything happening, I came home from work yesterday and just cried. For a really long time. Which I almost never do. It was a good, cathartic cry. Despite how stressful the past few days have been, I felt like I was equipped to handle it all now that I’m on my new medicine. It’s a weird feeling. I think if I’d still been unmedicated when all of this happened, I really might have snapped and had a meltdown.

In a weird way, it was kind of… relieving? To have so much thrown at me so quickly right after starting my new medicine. Executive dysfunction over the past year has made me feel like I’ve been hanging on by a very fragile thread, and that if any kind of crisis were to arise, I wouldn’t be able to hang on. I’ve been fortunate in that my personal life lately has been very uneventful.

I know it sounds dramatic, but I’ve been so deep in the throes of depression lately that I’ve felt like my real self was trapped inside of my body, screaming to get out, to get anything done, to have the motivation to do anything but drag myself along and just exist. I couldn’t even let my emotions out. They just got stuck and swirled around inside of me and festered.

But like, I did it! I dealt with a crisis. I was able to cry when I needed to let out my stress. Menial tasks no longer feel like a near-insurmountable challenge. I don’t dread going to work the way I have been. I feel alive! I feel like I have a future! There are projects I want to do and that I’ve been actively working on again! I have hobbies I want to do! I feel so much better I could cry.

And maybe I will later.

—

TL;DR: I started new meds a few days ago. Coincidentally, things in my life got chaotic for a bit, but I felt equipped to handle it when before I may not have. I feel better than I have in years.

[power-chords]

Tony Gilroy is so great. "Tell him our ghosts have strong hands and a long memory." What a killer line that instantly tells me these guys have a familiar way of conjoining history and the spiritual realm. Love that the rebellion is terrifying in action and fragmented internally for reasons that, given the types of people who would logically comprise a rebellion (I.E., desperate people accustomed to prisons, persecution, and poverty), make dramatic sense. (It's also more realistic, because human beings are dramatistic in nature. Kenneth Burke would love this show.) The rebels are disciplined soldiers, but their real guerrilla expertise lies in psychological warfare, ideological loyalty as intimidation display, because when they point guns at women and children to declare they have nothing left to lose, they know Beehaz believes them.

And, duh, obsessed with The Eye, the primal draw to cosmic wonder, one that serves in witness from the Empire's perspective and in judgment from the Rebellion's.

In judgment of... what else? The things they feel forced to do, and the collateral damage — idealism, because of course it's Nemik who is crippled in the translation of theory to action — in Abrahamic mimesis, as anti-cathartic, botched pseudo-fulfillment of Old Testament child sacrifice. (But the manifesto, the book, survives. So Nemik is also redoubled into a Mosaic remnant of the Law.) This is also why Skeen commits his betrayal only after The Eye has "closed." Ironically, he is guilty of thinking almost exactly like the Empire, where the panopticon is the only game in town and winning is a condition of optics that must be maintained lest the breach with compliance result in physical/social death. He has a vestigial sense of a deeper moral order, he acknowledges it almost instantly when the first few meteorites streak across the sky, but after an adolescence of authoritarian rule his only concept of a god is one that doesn't inspire fealty unless it's sensibly, verifiably present. Contrast Cassian, who of course kills Skeen to save himself but still holds certain absolutes as inviolable, seemingly because they affect him in a way that is emotionally intolerable. (For example: Never abandon your countryman.) Which in the best-case heroic scenario results in a Marcus Aurelius and in the worst case... well, [gestures at everything]. Fascism and faith are both emotional responses to human social realities, a need to belong/be "initiated" into a cultural order — a structure, an authority — and in the Empire's case that "order's" lethality escalates in proportion to its absurdity, the arbitrariness of its application. In a galaxy far far away, which is to say "right here, right now," you can join the army or you can go up the mountain in silence/be smuggled down the river. Perhaps if you're "lucky" enough not to be scapegoated or drafted or both you can devise a compromise. You could try to play A Serious Man. (Some living!)

I brought back my copy of Killing Time from my folks' place and I'm wondering if it merits a reread 16 years after I first kinda dismissed it. Watch me be like, "No, wait, this is the Blackhat of Caleb Carr novels." Information is not knowledge, and the corollary that Tony Gilroy is writing about is that for knowledge to survive a totalitaran information economy, its transmission cannot be externalized and standardized, converted from exchange value to market value. Knowledge that judiciously permits for dogmatism, polyphony, and revisionism where necessary is what I like to think of as wisdom.

[rocksanddeadflowers]

I wanna make a little mechs fic about Lyfrassir and Yule specifically as a... idk therapeutic or cathartic sorta fic? Not sure what term to use. This'll be my second year officially celebrating Yule instead of Christmas? The dramatics of which I'm much more likely to detail in ao3 notes than a Tumblr post (bc what's a better place than ao3 notes) but I'm very excited and wanna project a bunch of feelings and experiences onto the mech fandom's favorite barbie doll. I actually have a little scene between Lyf and Brian written already but I'm kinda out of ideas after that aside from the side-plot of Marius's mission based on Tim's explanation of mistletoe vs the reason Lyf actually has mistletoe. Not sure if anyone's interested in that or if I'll end up posting it but!! I'm ranting here anyway!! If you read this post and do wanna see me make a Yule fic, wanna toss some ideas my way perhaps? :)

[misstwisted]

finishing black Christmas 2006, I gotta say, there’s something so satisfying watching billy beating the shit out of his monster of a mother.

Intentional or not, the way Robert Mann played him in that scene is weirdly cathartic for me. Even if it was short, the way he played billy taking out his years of pain and trauma dealt to him by his mother through literally pummeling her is amazing in my opinion. Like I feel that anger in him even if he’s silent.

Billy Lenz literally killed his abusers! I cheer good for him every time I see that scene. I mean yeah he obviously shouldn’t have went after his little sister but despite that, this scene was cathartic for me as someone who has been abused by people in my life. Judge me if you want for that, I understand why it would sound strange for most people. Makes me sad though most of slasher tumblr hate him because???? Jaundice? Damn.

I’ve always wanted to write a essay about this scene because ever since I first watched it it’s always stuck with me. Maybe one day and I guess I’ll see if I post it here or not.

I know plenty of people in the slasher fandom don’t like this movie, and that’s completely okay, but It’s alright in my opinion. :)

And yeah, I know this sounds really dramatic and I know I might be overreacting, overthinking, and over analyzing this entire post , it’s kinda my thing to do that with scenes I care about. But I’ve had it on my mind those months ago when I first watched the scene on its own.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!!

im gonna rant at you for a bit if you dont mind :)

Im a minor that lives in a super tight night, close minded community. Super religious, super homophobic transphobic ect. Seeing as im a teenage girl whose questioning their gender and is definitely attracted to women thats kinda problematic lols. Honestly idek how to explain the situation without a bunch of details, but basically, theres a fifty-fifty chance of me being sent to conversion therapy or just cut off from any internet access (and i mean ANY. i have a flip phone for fucks sake.)if my fam finds out im queer, i have no support system outside of some internet friends who know nothing about my situation, and within the next few years(so like once i turn 20ish, thats in like 4 years but whatever) my family is going to expect me to get married to a man and start popping out babies asap. Btw thats whats expected of me in this community, marriage under the age of 25, have like as many kids as physically possible and god forbid higher education. And im not okay with that . Ffs i want to go to college, major in fine arts, meet a person i like and fall desperately in love or maybe not just have a bunch of close platonic relationships i want cats and a dog and a cute studio in a big city where i can dye my hair whatever color i want aand get an obsene amount of piercings, i want to wear pants!! I just want to live. Without expectations or limits or people who love me hating everything they dont know about me. Is that truly so much to ask for?

And im incredibly dramatic cuz i literally have the dream life. My family loves me, my parents are upper middle class, theyve never hurt me before(besides for all the anti everything rants haha) i literally have a full sized bed, which for some reason i see as the peak of being spoiled idk why. I go to school, not even public, a private religious school that prob costs thousands of dollars, i have friends(who are all part of this community btw and id bet my entire savings that most of them think gay is only a word that ppl use to mean happy lol) close ones even!! I have adorable neices and nephews(my 3 sisters all were married by the age of 20, so i have 11 niecesand nephews while my oldest sister is 31) im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out. No hope of college to get on my feet and find someway out, no people that'll help me fucking run away or some bullshit like that, hell ive considered it and then felt like shit, cuz what am i even running from? Im probably attracted to men it wont kill me to marry one. And i like kids, i wouldnt mind having any either. But.... i dont want to be trapped anymore. Cuz ill be honest thats what i am.if some one asked me to run away with them rn i would, no hesitation.

God im a mess😭😭 anyway this was me ranting in my notes app, im just apologizing for dumping this on a complete stranger(we're moots actually!!) albeit a very kind one :) i dont know what im looking for, but ill take whatever your comfortable giving ig.

I love and appreciate you<333

And hey this has been oddly cathartic so lmk if its okay for me to do this again sometime :))

"im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out."

Hon, you're not living the dream life...there's a difference between financial privilege and being happy, you know? It's pretty clear that this isn't what you want.

I'm not sure if you're asking for my advice here, or if you just want to vent. But I care about you, and if you want me to research some things to try to help you, I'm more than willing to (that way it's not on your search history.) Just say the word!

Until then, you are ALWAYS allowed to vent to me.

I'm naming you venting anon in case you write again!

[michelleelizabethtanner]

16, 28, and 29 for AO3 wrapped!

Hey! Tyty for the ask ❤️❤️❤️

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

So far my most common addl tag has been “cannon compliant.” Which makes sense, because AU has been a journey for me. I just feel so rooted in who these characters are in canon, find that the magic centers around who they are in these particular circumstances, and I have a lot of trouble finding a connection to them in circumstances or settings that remove me too far from their canonic characterizations. There are fics by others that have immersed me and allowed my rigid mind to see the Brio magic in unlikely circumstances. But in my own writing, this has been difficult. I’ve been practicing though!!! I made that baby fic. Which kinda keeps them canonically themselves mostly, I think. Except they have a baby. So maybe that’s more canon divergent than straight AU. My current WIP is a full AU, though, and it’s breaking my brain. Part of my struggle is that I have such a hard time accepting Brio as not really Brio. Or Brio but different. The “Rio would never” runs through my mind incessantly and I keep having to set the work aside because I don’t like him like that. (I honestly just wanna post the done pieces of it already so there’s an element of not going back. Because otherwise I keep wanting to just scrap it.) So goal for 2024 is to finish that AU and get more comfortable with actually having an imagination. 😂

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

I think My Girl is my favorite work of the year. It was the most challenging (at least of the completed works), and as I mentioned before, the most autobiographical. It’s so funny that the trope I was the most against has come to be my own favorite work. I think I also used the most sophisticated (and let’s not get too excited here, it still wasn’t anything that would pass a professional edit) writing conventions in this work. I really enjoy stories told from the present gazing into the past to give us a better perspective on the present. So I wanted to try that for myself and run it through an entire work. I had done some of that kind of style in Rough Night a bit, and those actually usually ended up being the best-received chapters that I liked the best too. So I gave it a shot. Some elements came out just as I had hoped and I’m really proud of myself for being able to “make a thing the way I think is a nice way to make a thing.” Other aspects didn’t come out quite so elegantly, and there are certainly plenty cringey, unreadable (to me) parts where it’s just so glaring where I went too heavy-handed on the descriptiveness, where quiet moments just stretch without much meaning because I wasn’t sure exactly how to give them appropriate weight.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Ok, I’m gonna seem so over the top here, but this one right here, from My Girl:

Not because it was some poignant piece or anything, but because this is the secret conversation, the unspoken sentiment I feel like I needed, and the type of support I needed in those middle-of-the-night hours when nothing’s really wrong, the baby is asleep, but you still don’t know how you can keep going on like this. When living “like this” is aaaaaalmost not worth it and maybe not living at all would finally allow you the reprieve and let you rest. I gave Beth the voice I couldn’t find for myself. And I gave Rio the emotional intelligence to really hear her without personalizing it. Anyway, super dramatic but definitely cathartic to write.

AO3 Wrapped

[daydreamalley]

Thought I’d share my thoughts on ch.109 before the new chapter came out. Wrote this like right after the chapter came out, in mid freak out, but I stand by it.

Okay, maybe this is all just delusion, but I really don’t think it is, but it could be, who knows. I don’t think Dazai or Sigma are dead, and here’s my reasoning. Don't even know if people are that worried about Sigma, but here we are. The reasoning with Sigma is fairly simple. I think he passed out from intaking too much information with his ability and isn’t’ dead at all. Much like how Atsushi passed out after Sigma transferred him information, because he couldn’t handle all the information at once but it was also a little delayed, and then Ango talked about how he has that sometimes with his ability too. So I don’t think Sigma is dead at all cuz then that would also just take him off the playing field entirely and then what was the point? 

Now Dazai (delusion territory, also just all my own interpretations). Firstly I simply don’t think they’re gonna kill Dazai off like this. Like, c’mon, there’s just no way in my mind he’s really dead. And with that in mind it was actually kinda cathartic to see Chuuya shoot him? But anyway, I also want to jump into the scene a bit. So, Dazai obviously tries to pull his usual tricks by trying to make Chuuya punch him, and we get confirmation that if Chuuya were to touch Dazai, Dazai would actually nullify the vampirism, which is nice to know (I had my doubts about how the nullification would work on the vampirism). 

Once that doesn’t work, Chuuya shoots Dazai in the shoulder. Why the hell would he shoot Dazai in the shoulder? That is not what Fyodor was ordering him to do, and yet he did it. What I think is that maybe Chuuya was trying to show that he was obviously willing to shoot Dazai, as in still fully mind controlled even if he isn’t, and that the gun worked. Then Dazai looks genuinely angry. Maybe this was acting of some sort, too, but to me this looks like a moment of genuine anger at a pain he wasn’t expecting. He’s even cursing at Chuuya, which feels very unusual for Dazai, and again, just like such genuine anger. But when Chuuya aims the gun at Dazai’s head, Dazai calms again, he returns to his normal banter and complaint of his bad position by talking about trivial things in the face of his death. It’s almost like that press of the gun to Dazai’s forehead was a signal or something. We already know Double Black had other strategies and inside knowledge that only they’d be able to read from each other, so why not this?

Okay, and what the fuck was that whole little speech, huh Dazai? Why does Dazai look so determined and there’s such light in his eyes as he’s talking to Chuuya? Is this like, another signal or…? Cuz I think a lot of this is maybe Chuuya’s plan, or whatever inkling of Chuuya is aware inside the vampire (p.s. I’m so sick of seeing Chuuya only as a vampire. I miss my boy). Also like, god, what was the end of that sentence? What are they indelibly fated for? Was that just bullshit or was Dazai being genuine, or was it a signal between them or just???? 

Obviously when Chuuya shoots, the panels seem intentionally vague. But like, I can’t even believe we have these panels. Another obvious thing, why the hell is Dazai talking after being shot in the forehead? People shouldn’t be able to do that, which we can overlook in the name of dramatics, but I also feel like it was just Dazai pulling his usual dramatics and acting it out even though he wasn’t actually shot. 

2 final points. After Chuuya shoots the supposed headshot, there are two holes behind Dazai, not just the one. You can see the upper left one is the one that went through his shoulder, then there’s one near his head and one much further down that, as far as I could tell, was NOT there before. I don’t know how Chuuya could’ve used gravity manipulation to stop the bullet, because if it was touching Dazai surely Chuuya wouldn’t be able to manipulate it, but that is really sus if that hole in the wall actually wasn’t there before and came from Chuuya’s (supposed) headshot.

Finally, there is no way in hell that you can tell me that Akutagawa remembered the promise he made to Atsushi not to kill people and keeps that promise even in his vampire state and then claim Chuuya would actually kill Dazai. There’s just no way. In Dead Apple we have a somewhat set precedence that Chuuya can be very vaguely aware at least of Dazai during Corruption, and so in his vampire state that I still think Chuuya is fighting hard against, he wouldn’t actually kill Dazai. So I guess it all boils down to, I think Chuuya has enough consciousness to not kill Dazai, and perhaps even have some form of plan that involved shooting Dazai in the shoulder and then Dazai going along with it as he was shot in the head.

Also, like how would this progress their relationship or them as characters? Other than being a little tragic, but there are far more tragic things that could happen between them. I agree with Dazai, this is not where it ends for them

[tonydaddingham]

went through the playlists just reading the lyrics without listening to the songs and promptly lost my mind. like, az may be happier about the world at large, but his love songs are every bit as angsty as crowley's and there is just as much yearning and devotion and anguish in there if you only take the lyrics, it just gets covered up because the music itself is so much peppier/less dramatic so the pain is kinda hidden. and there's definitely a metaphor for the different ways they deal with emotion in there that my brain is too tired to grasp right now.

p.s. has anyone figured out an interpretation for every breath you take that doesn't make crowley seem like a stalker or are we just going to collectively ignore that?

oh hey anon how you doin hows it hangin boo ✨

tbh (and i know people might come for me on this) i think everyone has gotten so hung up on these playlists being completely about each other when they're not, necessarily?

like aziraphale's playlist reflects himself so much, the whimsy and romanticism (in general), and the delicate awe of the world around him that he's come to love and be proud of, as well as his own heartfelt hopes not just where crowley is concerned but what he wants for himself? it's difficult to not read overmuch into the playlists but nina simone and sting? if i were convinced for one second that aziraphale listened to music from like post-1910, these are his guilty pleasure songs

crowley strikes me as being way more emotional in his music choices - that he'd listen to music that reflects his mood, not listen to music to change or influence his mood (if this makes sense). it's angsty and guttural and reflects more his past experiences... and yes it's more overtly romantic (specific) and cathartic but again it's not necessarily just about aziraphale - the REM and velvet??? cmon these are so coded to his state of mind as well as his state of heart, those are fucking trAUMA songs

but I totally agree with you that the romantic-er songs on them completely reflect how they are both handling their respective feelings. what kills me is that crowley's playlist almost feels like it's beyond pining and is now in the mindset that he'll love az from afar but accept that it'll never be reciprocated, and instead he's resigned himself to just being grateful for what he has, not upset for what he doesn't (specifically hozier and fleetwood here - Dreams was a choice)

aziraphale's is more emerging and revelatory, like now that his preoccupation with heaven has been stripped away, all of these feelings are starting to make themselves known, rearing their heads above the parapet just in case they can finally be let free (specifically abba and dcfc here). unfortunately, and whilst i think there will be a very sudden acceleration in s2, aziraphale is just still a few steps behind crowley. aziraphale is the type to (let himself fully) fall in love slowly, then all at once 💓

re: every breath you take - here's my take: kind of in the same vein as above, whilst yes this song is problematic, it does also really accurately describe the feelings of possession and obsession, and of feeling lost without someone... which, and i mean this as kindly as possible, crowley has a lot of these feelings, and a wee incompetency in restraining it ✨

wow that was a lot sorry

[halogalopaghost]

Blame It On The ADD Babey

read on AO3

When one has ninja for brothers, one learns very quickly that sneaking up on them is a poor choice. It's liable to lead to head injuries, black eyes, misplaced guilt, and/or revenge. Donnie knows this—he knows it well and yet, he is also a ninja, and it's simply too easy to scare Mikey. Besides, this is Donnie’s laboratory and he reserves the right to scare trespassers.

He barely gets the first syllable of an innocuous “Whatcha doin’?” out of his mouth before Mike is screeching and leaps nearly a foot off Donnie’s computer chair.

He throws himself in front of the screen, blocking it with his hands and shell. “Video games!” heresponds forcefully.

Don grabs up a metal scrap from the workbench at his elbow and uses it to rap Mikey's knuckles out of the way. He yelps, then opts to turn the monitor off altogether.

Not before Don was able to recognize the WebDoc site. Immediately, his self-satisfied smirk fell into a worried look toward his brother’s open, startled expression. Last time he had WebDoc open, he was looking for symptoms of blood poisoning and the potential for necrotic tissue. It hadn't come to that but—having WebDoc open was just never good.

“I was just doing some—light bedtime reading,” Mikey rushes, looking anywhere except at his brother. “Y’know, just uh, trying to bore myself to sleep.” He fakes an over-dramatic yawn and reaches for the power button on the CPU under the desk. “I guess it worked, I'll just—”

Donnie raps his knuckles again, getting the same quick yelp and pull back as before. “You gonna tell me what’s up, or do I have to check your search history?”

Mikey’s mouth fell open. “Whoa, you can do that—?”

“Mikey,” he says sternly. He raises the rod of scrap metal threateningly, pointing it at his brother’s throat.

He puts his two-fingered hands up on either side of his face in surrender. “Okay, okay!” His eyes drift a little, not quite meeting Don’s. “Can our brains, like, do the same stuff as a human’s?”

Donnie narrows his eyes. “Do you mean…intelligence-wise?”

He laughs. “Nah bro, I know you’re already way past that. I mean like... hormonally.”

If at all possible, he narrows his eyes even more. “Didn’t Master Splinter give you the talk already? That's kinda above my pay grade, dude.”

Were he warm-blooded, Michelangelo’s face would be the color of Raph’s bandana. “Charles E. Cheese, Donnie! Not like that !”

Donnie splutters. “Then what do you mean?”

“I dunno! Like, dopamine and stuff!”

He’s briefly caught off guard that Mikey even knows what dopamine is, but the question quickly sidetracks his brain. “Hm. Well, I haven't had much access to that kind of data. I’ve done basic blood panels on all of us, so I know we possess relatively ‘human’ blood cells, and our chemical makeup is very similar. But I've never had a chance to do CAT or MRI scans on any of us, and I haven't monitored brain waves at all…I suppose there is room for deviation as we aren't really spliced with human DNA, rather rapidly evolved to a parallel proto-humanoid form due to the ooze—”

“Is this gonna be one of those times where I ask a five word question and you deliver a five thousand word essay?” Mikey sticks a finger in his mouth, making a gagging noise. “Bo-ring.”

This time, Donnie whacks him on the bicep. It's just cathartic to his older-sibling soul. “What are you getting at, you goof?”

Mikey taps his fingers together in front of himself, appearing to think carefully on his next words. Which freaks Donatello out more than the WebDoc page, honestly, because Mikey hardly ever thinks before speaking. He hardly ever thinks before doing anything, really. Maybe he just hardly thinks.

“You ever heard of ADD?” 

Donnie’s brow rises, processing the question like a loading webpage. And wouldn't you know it—404 error, page not found. Blue screen of death. Smoking server rack. “I think” he says slowly, “I've seen it mentioned in passing. Why?”

Mikey takes a deep breath, and Donnie braces for the word onslaught.

 “Well you know how Casey and I were hanging out last week and playing video games, and I told him about that time I got distracted during one of Sensei’s lessons and almost cracked my skull open on Raph’s shell—you remember that time?—and then Casey said I remind him of this cousin he has who’s always getting into trouble because she can't pay attention and kept forgetting stuff she, like, just learned in school, and her grades were bad, and at first her parents though she just wasn't trying hard enough, but then —”

Donatello grabs Mike by either shoulder, shaking him. “Breathe, bro!”

He takes in a deep breath, plastron extending as far as it can go, then lets the pizza-breath sigh out way too close to Donnie’s face. “Anyway, I guess his cousin has ADD or whatever and he said I might too, since I always zone out and goof off. 'Cept now I think he mighta been joking cause saying it out loud sounds stupid.”

Donnie blinks, processing all that. Finally, he points to the monitor. “Mind if I—?”

Mikey shrugs.

Plopping down in his seat, Donnie turns the monitor back on and begins skimming the page. Words like inattentive and fidgety and forgetful zoom past his eyes as he scrolls, and it’s like he just walked into Mikey’s skull and flipped on a light switch; he can finally see how everything works in there.

“Don?”

“Uh-huh—uh, let me do some reading and I'll get back to you in the morning.”

“Oh. Okay. I guess I'll just—uh—see you tomorrow, bro.”

Donnie vaguely hears him shuffle out of the room and over to the living area, but he's already too engrossed in the literature for anything beyond that.

***

Three out of four brothers are halfway into breakfast when Donnie shuffles out of his lab.

“Ey, ‘bout time you joined the land of the livin’,” Raph calls, pulling out Don’s chair for him. “Get any sleep, egghead?”

He stops just short of the table and stares at it with a crazed, haunted look in his eyes.

“Donatello?” Leo asks, sitting up straighter. “What's wrong bro?”

He looks around the table at each of his brothers, finally settling on Michelangelo. “We all have it.”

Mikey looks to his siblings for help, but they just shrug. “Uhh, what do we have?”

Where he stands, Donnie’s eyes start drifting shut, and he sways on his feet. Raph automatically reaches out to stabilize his brother, rolling his eyes.

“What’dya do to him this time, Mikey?”

Mikey puts his hands up defensively. “Hey, how come you always assume it's my fault? You know what Master Splinter says about assuming—”

“Which applies to everyone but you,” Leo cuts in, a hint of a smirk in his tone.

Raph jostles his brother. “Hey, earth to egghead.”

Donatello snaps to attention. “We all have it,” he repeats ominously.

Mikey finally relents and puts down his fork. “What, The Force? I need specifics, dude.”

“ADD. You have it, I have it, Raph has it. Leo’s the only one without it and even then it's borderline —”

Oh no.

“—speaking of which, Raphie’s got oppositional defiant disorder, so that clears some things up.”

“Hey! I do not!” he protests, despite not even knowing what that is.

Donnie plops into his seat. “Leo’s got anxiety apparently.”

Mike groans. “Geez dude, how long were you on WebDoc?”

“Not WebDoc, Michelangelo,” he says very gravely. Mikey feels inclined to scoot away. “Scholarly articles, scientific studies, mommy blogs.” He looks down at his hands. “Apparently I'm self-medicating with coffee, and you’re self-medicating with soda.”

“What the shell is this nutcase on about?” Raph once again looks to Mikey and Leo follows suit, concern spelled across his brow.

“I asked him about ADD last night. Uh, attention definition disorder.”

“Deficit,” Don adds.

“What's that supposed t’mean?”

“Before bed? Come on Mikey, I thought you  knew better.” Leo sighs. 

“Uh, I appreciate the diagnosis, doc. But shouldn't you, like, sleep?”

Donatello turns a long, dead-eyed stare on Mikey, then it hardens into a glower. “Oh sure, go to sleep. If you didn't notice, I'm a little busy having an having an identity crisis and reading the entire DSM!” His volume escalates until he's shouting at the end of the sentence, throwing his arms up for good measure.

Leo looks at Mikey, stunned. “You broke him.”

“Did not!”

Raphael waves his hand in front of Don’s face, watching his bloodshot eyes and the way he’s still muttering. “Way to go chucklehead, you finally turned his brain to turtle soup. Hope you’re happy.”

Donatello has continued to have his own private chat with himself, staring vacantly at the table. “...and Leo needs more vitamin D—oh man, we all need more vitamin D. I'm getting everyone started on a magnesium and vitamin D supplement, maybe caffeine pills or something for Raph—”

“Donnie,” Leo tries.

“Some stim toys, maybe…”

“Don.”

“I wonder if I can get my hands on some adderall…imagine how powerful I'd be without distractions.”

“Dude!” Leo snaps his fingers in front of Donnie’s face, finally getting his attention. “Bro, catch me up here. What does all this mean?”

“It means,” he begins loudly, using both arms to gesture at Mikey, “that Mikey isn't stupid, his brain-mouth barrier is just infantesimally thin! And Raph isn't a rage machine for no reason, he’s rejection-sensitive!”

Raph looks at Donnie with a face that Mikey knows well; it means someone is about to get punched.

“The three of us have virtually no impulse control, it’s just not programmed into our brains. And Leo! You’re actually chronically stressed!”

“We knew that already,” Raph grumbles.

“Yes, but there's a medical explanation— treatments. You could learn to cope better with your extreme emotions. Mikey, we could help you pay more attention, sit still when you want to.”

All three brothers raise their brow at that one.

Leo breaks the silence with a snort. “And what after that, tame the wind? Stop waves from hitting the shore? C’mon, Don, even you aren't a miracle worker.”

“I resent that,” he says, eyes fluttering as he battles his own ability to stay conscious.

“Does this ‘ADD’ mention anything about avoidin’ sleep?” Raph asks snidely.

“Yes actually, apparently it isn't uncommon to enter a state of hyperfocus and completely—”

Leo stands, and the other two coherent brothers follow suit. As one, they hoist Donny up while he continues to babble and cross the lair to deposit him on the couch. Raph throws a blanket over him while Mike flicks the lamp off.

“Sleep tight,” Leo says.

“Did you know—” Donnie mumbles, eyes already closed, and they all groan. “We say ‘sleep tight’ because bed frames used to be made of—” he stops to yawn “—wood and leather straps, which were…pulled taught across the frame to hold the…the…”

Leo lets out a relieved sigh as Donnie’s mouth goes slack and his breathing evens off into sleep.

Raph looks at Mikey over their brother’s sleeping carcass. “Askin’ him before bed? Really bro, we gotta talk about your timing skills.”

He shrugs. “It's the ADD.”

[puterboy1]

My thoughts on episode 1 of Percy Jackson (spoilers below)

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians television series is finally here. In spite of nearly 25% of the characters bearing a strong resemblance to their book counterparts, everyone can agree that this is definitely a better adaptation than the 2010 film. However, I do have a couple of complaints and changes that I could have done for my own personal benefit or for the benefit of others:

All are labeled as spoilers, so take great caution.

Three Alternate Openings

Instead of Percy narrating the story in the cold open, I have three alternate openings that I think could have enhanced (or degraded) the story if they had taken place before he utters the iconic opening line: One romantic, one dramatic and the other a framing set up.

The romantic version shows how Sally and Poseidon first met instead of it being a flashback for the Montauk scene. It is a slow montage with no dialogue or sound effects, just music. The cinematography and mis-en-scene are high reminiscent to the opening of The Notebook, in which Sally and Poseidon are dark figures silhouetted against the red light of dawn, almost completely obscured. We see Sally walking up to the beach and Poseidon stepping out of the water, going on a boat ride and everything else we saw in the show. As the montage draws to a close, we finally get a good look at Sally seeing the Poseidon is gone and she is pregnant. We cut to her giving birth to Percy and her first line is her christening him. The music ends as the scene dissolves to 12 years later with Sally staring out the window of her apartment when Gabe calls her for his seven-bean dip. She responds, leaves the window and we pan all the way out towards Manhattan in the direction of the museum and then we hear Percy's opening monologue.

The dramatic version is a bit similar to the opening of the 20th Century Fox adaptation in which we get to see the Winter Solstice meeting with the gods. Everything is copasetic until Hermes tells everyone that the master bolt has been stolen. Zeus and Poseidon get into an argument and then Zeus tells everyone that there will be a war.

The framing set up would be Percy, as an adult telling the story of his life to his kids or even the younger campers of Camp Half Blood. First, he starts with "I didn't want to be a half-blood", there is a flash of lightning and we cut to Percy's 12-year-old self like in the real show.

2. Seeing more of Percy's life before Camp Half Blood

Percy did mention other incidents that happened before Yancy and it would have been both a hilarious and a very sad way of seeing how he got expelled from several different schools. But of course, they do have a budget and it's not very big.

3. Principal Riordan

When I saw that principal and how desperate and worried he looked in his efforts to find Percy and get him off the roof, I knew in a moment that Rick pretty much wasted a good opportunity to play the guy because Percy is his baby and seeing him act more like concerned father than a typical school principal would definitely be in his DNA. But if there is one good side, it is seeing a pegasi and one of those animatronic bulls. I also like the flashback where Percy and his mom go to the museum, but I kinda miss Mr. Brunner's lecture, it would felt more like you were in school again listening to an awesome speech on mythology. But then again, to most kids of the 2000s, school was boring.

4. Nancy calling Percy a dumb blonde

If Nancy was that cruel, she'd probably have another reason to call Percy dumb...because he's blonde. Even if such a stereotype has faded into obscurity, it would probably still make you want to give you another reason for hating her. It also could have given Percy some development as he learns for himself, and proves Nancy wrong, that not all blondes are dumb.

5. Percy calls Nancy out

Even if the scene we got was close to the book, one change I would make, that I would find to be cathartic, would be Percy telling Nancy what kind of a person she is before he pushes her into the fountain, and it would go something like this:

Percy: (grabs Nancy by the arm) Don't you have anything better to do in your spare time? One that doesn't involve being a *technical term for a female dog*?

Nancy: Well maybe I like being a *technical term for a female dog*, it makes me feel like a goddess.

Percy: Well guess what, Nancy, you're not a goddess, you're just as human as you and I and if you had any decency like a real human should, you would treat me and my friend with some respect! *slaps Nancy and force pushes her into the fountain*

6. Percy vs. Mrs. Dodds: Dawn of the Unnecessary Relocation

One of the things the Fox adaptation of The Lighting Thief ironically got right was Percy's fight with Alecto/Mrs. Dodds taking place in an empty part of the museum and Mr. Brunner giving Percy the Riptide pen in the middle of the fight. Here the fight takes place outside and Mr. Brunner gives Percy Riptide before the fight. I find this change to be very odd and the fight itself to be very underwhelming. Rick has a lot of explaining to do.

One minor note: I think Percy should have said the now (in)famous line "But this is a pen!"

7. My Riptide Sense is Tingling

I'm not sure what led Rick to make Riptide be Percy's personal alarm, and while I kinda like it, I feel mixed because what if it gets too loud and the enemy hears it?

8. Intertitles for Each Chapter

One creative way of telling the audience when a chapter begins is a title card, maybe one slightly animated and drawn on a piece of school textbook paper, think Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I know it's cheesy, but then again, drama is better.

9. Et Tu, Grover?

One change that does seem to sit well with me is Grover telling the heads of Yancy that he encouraged Percy to push Nancy into the fountain. It makes Percy's defection from Grover pretty dramatic, but at the same time, Grover not being able to tell his secret can also be concerning.

10. Has It Now Become a Sin to Feature Gaslighting in Kid's Show?

Aside from one mention, Mr. Brunner and Grover are never seen gaslighting Percy over the denial of Mrs. Dodd's existence. Instead, we get a "you are special" speech from Mr. Brunner. And I ask why? Featuring the gaslighting would have made the show feel more like a suspense thriller a la Hitchcock and adds to the mystery.

11. A Different Wardrobe for the Fates

This should have been in the episode itself.I'm glad that at least *one* of the Fates looks like her book counterpart, but I'm not too crazy over their clothes. When I read The Lightning Thief, I imagined them wearing white beekeeper/gardener uniforms or cloaks, either white like in the graphic novel, black like in the myths or red, green and blue like the Sanderson Sisters from Hocus Pocus (red for Atropos, green for Clotho and blue for Lachesis, (which is also similar to the Fates from Disney's Hercules)). In my opinion, the cloaks make the Fates look more ominous and mysterious. But I guess if you want to be more inconspicuous, giving them normal clothes is the best route. Also, why did they get rid of their scene during Percy's drive home?

12. Percy's apartment should have been a lot more messier

When I read the book I imagined the apartment to look a lot more grimier, with stuff scattered all over. What I saw was mostly restricted to Gabe's area. Also, Gabe himself doesn't appear to be too much of a douchebag and he's hardly the fat walrus Percy described him to be. When I think of a father who is a real douchebag, I think of Neil Hargrove from Stranger Things. I suppose it's become a real taboo to depict child abuse in kid's shows, so they watered Gabe down.

13. Gabe's big flat screen TV and Sally's song

One of the things I wanted for the show was it to be a homage to the 2000s, similar to how Stranger Things paid homage to the 80s, so when I saw Gabe's 4K TV and Sally listening to what I think is an Olivia Roderigo song, I was a bit livid. If I did this show, I would have replaced the TV with an old set from the 90s and have Sally listening to It Must Have Been Love by Roxette because the song would have been around in 1992 when Sally met Poseidon and I felt that the lyrics resonated with Sally missing Poseidon.

Oh and by the way, where's her Sweet on America shirt? At least they got the blue candy.

14. Gabe and Sally fighting like an old married couple

Even though they are married, Sally and Gabe don't sound like they hate each other, they sound like they're a normal couple with marriage issues. Also, I really wish Percy called Gabe a "bald headed freak" when he told him to take his shoes off before entering the car.

15. Even pacing

One thing I wanted was for the show to have a slow amount of pacing like Percy and Sally driving to Montauk while listening to Jesse McCartney on the radio to gives us a moment of mother-and-son bonding time. Cutting from the apartment to the last bit of drive to Montauk was a bit fast for me.

Also, I don't think it rained when they arrived.

16. A Romantic Flashback

To make up for the alternate opening, a flashback between Sally and Poseidon would have been nice, but I guess they didn't do it because they didn't want to give Poseidon's face and identify away. Also, whose ideas was it to tell Sally that Percy is a half-blood.

Also, missed opportunity to have Percy say "What kind of version of 'The Talk' is this?!"

17. "Oh look, a goat, and he seems to be stuck in a trash can."

One way that could have made Grover's reveal as a satyr to be both hilarious and shocking would be Percy and Sally finding him in a trash can. For those who don't know, the line is a reference to the musical where Percy says it. Also, I feel that Percy should have been a lot more freaked out to see that his best friend, whom he had known for who knows how long, should be a satyr (Imagine him saying "HOLY F*KING SH*T, GROVER, WHY DO YOU HAVE A FKING DONKNEY UP YOUR-?!" Grover: "ASK ME NOT!"). Not to mention, if I had it my way and not Disney's or Rick's, I would have him throwing profane words left and right. But I guess that after the fight with Mrs. Dodds, he's bound to be less fazed.

18. The Death of Sally Jackson: The Not-So-Drowing Artax of our Generation

When I saw Sally's "death", I didn't feel too much emotion. I felt like this should have been our equivalent of the death of Littlefoot's mother or Sirius Black falling into the veil....but I felt nothing, if not just a little. Not to mention, Sally was the one who distracted the Minotaur with Percy's red jacket instead of Percy himself. Also, I think the Minotaur scene could have been a lot more scarier.

19. The Denouement

So Percy defeats the minotaur and it justs cuts to black? I kinda expected him to scream his mother's name one last time in agony for an extra pull at the heartstrings. But at least the last few lines of dialogue made up for that.

20. A better title sequence

What makes Stranger Things and Breaking Bad the most awesome shows around? Their title sequences. Percy's was pretty short and nothing of special, it should have been more lengthy and a slow reveal like the arraigning letters of Stranger Things. Simply put, title sequences should be more amazing and able to drive the audience in.

So what do you think? Did the changes enhance the story or did they make them worse?

[lepoppeta]

For the song asks, idk if you’ve spoken about it on here but you told me about it: VaggieBomb

this was INSANELY DIFFICULT because i know approximately what kind of vibe i want from vaggiebomb (also known as cherrimoth, but since vaggie is no longer a moth demon i guess that ship name isnt accurate anymore), its just that all of the songs out there are... WAY too much. i like to imagine their relationship as (eventually) relatively low-key, even in their private lives. any grand gestures are usually meant ironically.

for context -- this pairing stems from a teeny tiny au i created way back when the pilot first got released. the basis was that vaggie gets sick of being constantly pushed around by alastor and ignored by her girlfriend, and she breaks up with charlie and leaves the hotel. she later joins up with cherri bomb and relieves some of her anger via cathartic gang violence (this leads to sir pentious seeking refuge at the hotel, resulting in charpentious, but thats a different story altogether).

i also prefer finding these songs out of ones i already know -- looking for something new almost never works out, and i dont get attached to the song that way. i hope i didnt disappoint!

seventeen (heathers: the musical, sung by barrett wilbert weed & ryan mccartan)

fine! were damaged -- really damaged, but that does not make us wise. were not special, were not different, we dont choose who lives or dies. lets be normal, see bad movies, sneak a beer or watch tv. well bake brownies, well go bowling -- dont you want a life with me?

pretty much all of these songs are from cherris point of view. its easier for me to imagine these coming from her because (at least in the pilot) shes much more emotionally stable -- shes already experienced her story (if were to assume that her previous failed relationship mentioned in the 'addict' music video is still canon here) and is now meant to be a character that the viewer is meant to compare the main cast to.

this is a little ooc on her part, but here shes meant to be attempting to persuade vaggie with an attempt at normalcy -- something that they both really want after their previous relationships crashed and burned spectacularly. she wants low-key -- she isnt a princess in need of protection, she IS and WANTS to be vaggies equal, and i think someone like that would benefit vaggie a lot in terms of character development.

sit next to me (foster the people)

and now its over, were sober -- symptoms of the culture and the night aint getting younger, last calls around the corner. feeling kinda tempted and im pouring out the truth -- just fading out these talkers cause now all i want is you.

just saying -- come over here sit next to me, we can see where things go naturally. just say the word and ill part the sea, just come over here sit next to me.

this adds on to what i said previously -- how non-dramatic id like to imagine this relationship to be. it blossoms very naturally under mutual trust and respect -- once vaggie stops acting like an angry guard dog, that is.

stuck on the puzzle (lily & madeline, original by alex turner)

im not the kind of fool whos gonna sit and sing to you about stars, girl. but last night i looked up into the dark half of the blue and theyd gone backwards. something in your magentism must have pissed them off, forcing them to get an early night. i have been searching from the bottom to the top for such a sight as the one i caught when i saw your

fingers dimming the lights like youre used to being told that youre trouble, and i spent all night stuck on the puzzle.

i dont imagine cherri or vaggie to be particularly sappy, but they can be romantic in casual ways. this song simply expands upon that vibe.

[petrichoraline]

thanks to @pondphuwin @tinybangtanx and @chinzhillababy for indulging me and in such an incredible way too 😭🥰💖

okay, so *cracks knuckles* this is my big episode 11 prediction theory (and how it came to be) these are my predictions based on these beautiful cryptic resumes showed above. i should post a full ep11 script later, i just really want to get these out in the open before i go offline

at first the oishii pp part made me think in this direction: "those bottle scenes are always a bit spicy so maybe tinngun were doing another round of will-they-won't-they and looking at each others eyes while seductively gulping down pp juice when someone, maybe tinn's mom? walked in on them (and this was the last proof she needed to go off on tinn?)"

but then i was gobsmacked with "only drink from drinks you know about" which is giving "bar safety for girlies 101"? and makes me think about that "how each member of ateez would react if you ask them to watch your glass" video but anyways

i really doubt they're putting drugs into the last ep of The Wholesome Show™️ so there is def something else going on but quite important if two people decided it was vital to mention it

let's go to the other common point: "there is such a thing as taking "falling for you" too far" and "never give up but always watch ur step as u go"

i thought at first that this seems simple enough, a part of a pair (cause it's ep 11, obviously it's not gonna all be about tinngun) clumsily fell while being cute..i did, however, find it a bit sus it's one of two things said that @pondphuwin found worthy to mention..

so @chinzhillababy's addition made me paint a more colourful picture - person A upset person B, some big relationship quarrel occured but person A was like "oh no, this can't be it, i'm fighting for this, for us!" (based on the vibes of love and persistance the clues are exuding) and going after person B in a dramatic fashion, they fell down a solid amount of stairs; i was thinking tinngun tbh but reading about this type of stupidity just makes tiw's face steal tinn's spot in my imaginary scene..i can definitely see por being the needy bf being chased too. this would make sense if them secretly dating was canon and they had a fight about going public..i do, however, think my dash would have been bombarded with posts about it, so i feel i have to exclude that theory

honestly i'm just imagining someone making a dramatic love confession, falling fatally, ending up in hospital and dying (cause tissues?? went off with their acting?? @tinybangtanx your comment is so simple yet so confusing and it sets my imagination OFF)

but i remind myself this is the The Cute Vitamin of the Week Show™️ and get my head back in the boring reality of everyone being safe and sound 🙄 (if someone is actually seriously harmed i will kinda laugh ngl just because it'd feel like i've lost a bet brutally)

i can't get rid of the feeling it's more about a cathartic moment rather than a completely sad one, some type of breakthrough - although i imagine gun being a part of it, it might be the final conflict resolution or at least the open confrontation between tinn and his mom (which i imagine the show wouldn't treat lightly, their mom/son dynamic has been one of the constant themes of the show and this conversation is long overdue, the tension has been building since episode 1); ah, they better not be doing anything to gun's mom, considering the operation went well i doubt they'll be playing a will-she-won't-she (survive) in the last episodes (but the ending of the first resume is so ominous, the type of comment a person who's been hit by a shocker in a show and has been crying over fictional characters and is emotionally exhausted would put at the end of a sentence 😑(this is me squinting at you, mint, this "<3" bothered me more than the tissues comment! two takeaways is a sus amount of takeaways!! it reads as "idk what to tell ya this was a mess and i'm still not sure what i just watched"😭)

ugh let's move on, "arms are NOT legs (sometimes)" was the point at which i stopped squinting out of fear of being spoiled and just snorted loudly... this feels like another drunk gun moment- ohh

okay if the drink comment was NOT about the oishii product placement? if they are two different things OR there's not juice in those bottles? if someone really DID get drunk by accident and this arms-legs moment is just so cute and batshit insane that it HAD to be mentioned (but wasn't that important to the plot)?

i saw the thumbnails earlier btw so i know tiwpor are in this episode for sure but just realised i dont remember the preview from last week as i was trying to figure out what info i have from the previous ep

the arm/leg thing just reminds me of that yeosang video where he put his leg up during a photoshoot instead of his arm because the words sound the same but anyways; it also makes me think of like "give me your hand" and then they give him their leg..? or walking on all fours up stairs? (like it's basically a lot of drunk behaviour imagery, i'm stuck in this scenario lmao) so let's see the rest of the "details"

but before that i want to mention "never give up" really feels more like a not love-related thing, like chase your dreams or run after smth, it's only because of the "falling for you" line that i stay on the "romantic encounter/quarrel track)

(this is my thoughts flowing in real time, if you can't tell, that's why this post is two kilometers long, written in short paragraphs for orderliness and reading it probably feels like being splashed with a shot of espresso in the face at every turn)

okay maybe the arm/leg thing is about a hit? slap vs kick? and the sometimes is like.. whatever gets the job done? lol dramatic por shit if you ask me but maybe soundgun are finally battling that sexual tension out idk (again, my feed would not shut up if that were the case)

"you don't always need to swat away mosquitoes" - okay who kissed who? like this is definitely about a cheesy ass romantic moment (im imagining a camping tent cause that's what i associate mosquitoes with apparently lmao but this ain't golden blood); like one of these guys sucked on someone's wrist or..?? maybe it's a cute nickname, maybe it's about the actual insect but someone (i am seeing tiwpor because of a thumbnail being stuck in my head) for sure turned a huh? moment into a cute type of confession thing (i can't get a tiwpor in a tent scenario out of my head, i'm corrupted);

"if you're feeling dizzy hold on tight" - the more i read the more i feel someone ended up at a hospital.. did someone fall off a bike?? did they fall from the stairs?? (there are school stairs in my mind and i can't do anything about that, they're part of my imaginary ep set now)

i am so sleepy at this point i just saw the cute poses they were doing in a gif (and immediately clicked away okay) that i also saw in a thumbnail but i'll try not to put that into my episode

okay so the boys went off with their acting which means that this ain't about gemfourth only probably? it feels like it's a more balanced or side-couple heavy episode; maybe tinngun appear for a mom conflict moment but the rest is establishing what is going on with the other guys? maybe a lot of group scenes again// it wouldve helped if yall mentioned names guys i am sweating over here;

like did the oishii pp come before the falling or not?? who winged their tags here?? this is important you guys :((

i just saw a gif of gun screaming angrily (and first - hot- but second nooo okay this is gonna solidify tinngun as the falling couple, tiwpor can get the mosquitoes and soundwin are on a bike)

speaking of soundgun the arm/leg thing could be related to their whole "i'll be your hands" thing and sound's injury, i feel like it could come back in this episode in some way?

the drinks thing sounds like a silly chinzhilla mess-around gone wrong or a complete accident one of the members caused, like he placed his bottle full of god knows what in the wrong spot and someone drank it in a hurry;

"you don't always need to swat away mosquitoes" feels like such a romantic line. like "things that seem bad may bring you more joy than you imagined and could be right for you", smth spoken while one is walking away and the other gently gets hold of their wrist (yes, this is still calm tiw sitting down on a chair in a tent holding por's hand who looks distressed and is also wearing shorts with a belt and an expensive shirt tucked in, no, that will not make the final cut, it's a draft i can't get rid of, you see)

I KEEP SEEING MEME POSTS LIKE SMTH TIWPOR SMTH PAT SMTH AND I AM TOO SLOW AND INTRIGUED AND LOOK AWAY JUST IN TIME YO THIS IS A BATTLEFIELD (like why did all these msp posts start coming in now, is it the americans, did yall just get home and start blogging)

okayy serious conflict and what they are makes me think about the drinks again. if these are reffering to the bottles, aside from the content of the bottle, what else could be important about it? an indirect kiss? someone took gun's bottle and tinn was jealous for example? but that's silly stuff. so maybe there was a note on one of them? i am assuming it's more than one but maybe it is precisely one bottle as the pp this time and there was a romantic message on it (this reminds me of another show that's not coming to me rn). so this note gets in the hands of someone who was not meant to see it so maybe that's how tinngun's relationship gets revealed to the band (i had completely forgotten that was a conflict and could be turned into a big deal, i sobered up a bit and remembered just now); i feel like im way more on track with this one ngl ngl feels.. revelationary

again back to "you don't always need to swat away mosquitoes" - this is soundwin. it has to beeeee. like mosquitoes are annoying but you don't always have to chase them away, you can be a big tsundere about it (prior or post starting dating depending on whether you're sound or win lol) and let them be a part of your life, something like that.

tiw's career expectations vs wishes situation might actually be more than just a throwaway line for the job consultation part of the show, if we get to see more tiw that may be explored a bit. i personally don't know shit about por aside from the fact he's a fan of a teacher and has a fun fashion sense (that might be on me, i have trouble with understanding chinzhilla members) so it's very hard to speculate what they'd do together when given more screentime, all i can think about is their tutoring session and how that relates to career choices so it feels inevitable from my pov that their plot is gonna involve the topic of growing up or defying expectations or smth

the only feeling of dizzyness i can think off aside from bikes is the one gun's mom experiences? or maybe tinn's mom would experience out of shock (y'know, lakorn style) and considering thats the last comment in those tags i'm guessing it's about the end of the episode so maybe tinn's mom finally reacts to tinngun and faints or smth and tinn has to do some doctor- we had that with gun's mom already, moving onn

I JUST REMEMBERED THE PREVIEW WAITT so the last ep ended with hot wave (i absolutely forgot that you do not understand how hard im giggling at myself for that rn, i have to binge shows, otherwise you get me writing about msp for hours and not recalling the most anticipated event of the show happening as a cliffhanger last week) and in the preview they were back at the resort and gun talked about how he didn't want the guys to regret staying with him and they did a group hug.. now the other stuff i don't remember.) i'm guessing they didn't win; the way i remembered is i was like "tf they doing for a whole episode? a road trip?" and it came to me) so if they're back in the resort with pat i'm guessing my dude finally took two minutes to give them some words of wisdom without acting insane; maybe this ending of sorts for them got por thinking about his future and that got him and tiw talking and bonding but some of those tags have to be about tiwpor and yet NONE OF THEM FIT WITH THIS THEORY