#drake speaks

[reaperfromtheabyss]

For it is better to have booped and lost than to have never booped at all

[ltdrake]

I mean to be fair it's an adventure show. The only way it would really "end" is when Mando says "ok I'm done :)" and retires. Shows don't really need an ending if it doesn't make sense to have one. Sometimes all a show needs to be is "haha wacky space adventures with my lil green baby."

gonna tell you the truth brother. this is not a sentence I love to hear from the writer of a show

[agnesandhilda]

in the past 48 hours kendrick lamar has:

used a picture, apparently taken inside of drake's house, showing various medications including ozempic (which drake has dissed other people for taking!) prescribed under drake's legal name, as cover art for a single

implied that members of drake's entourage are acting as his informants

claimed he would be a better role model to adonis, drake's son whose existence was publicized via a previous rap beef, than drake is

claimed that drake also has an eleven-year old daughter that he's been hiding, and likely other illegitimate children

claimed that drake and his entourage are part of a sex trafficking ring

said drake should die so women can be safe

called drake a colonizer who appropriates black american culture

directly called drake and his entourage pedophiles

[jennrypan]

Tim: You look like every girls first mistake

Jason: You look like you remind teachers about homework when the bells about to ring.

Tim: You probably WERE that kid weren't you, nerd?

Jason: Rather be a nerd than illiterate, what's the last book you read, Timmy?

Tim: Fuck you. You look like you eat refrigerator magnets!

Jason: Bitch- you look like you lick unknown substances just to find out what they are!

Tim: That was one time!!

Jason: Little freak!

Bruce: Whoa whoa! What the hell? What are you two arguing about?

Tim: Huh? We aren't arguing?

Jason: We're bondin' go away!

Bruce:

Bruce: ..Okay

[salparadiselost]

Every couple years or so, the Bats are required to take a group photo to update the JL website (idk why, they are required to take a vigilante group picture), and Jason consistently refuses to show up. So this year, Tim just draws the lines of the Red Hood helmet on a bright red balloon and then floats it between him and Nightwing. They absolutely refuse to acknowledge that it isn't Jason. They put it up on a billboard instead.

Jason finds out about it when he drives back into Gotham and the highway going into the city has a 'Keeping Gotham Safe' billboard and it's a picture of the Bats looking extremely serious with the Red Hood Balloon floating behind them.

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

batfam meets the JL but it’s just the bat kids breaking into the watch tower during a debriefing or meeting to ask bruce the most mundane questions. they go about it like they’re interns that need to speak to the CEO during a board meeting. they walk over waving their hands and mouthing “i’m so sorry just need to ask batman something 😬” and then they lean over to bruce and ask something like “alfred wants to know if you’re gonna be home for dinner” and then they dip.

one of them started this when bruce didn’t answer their texts (it was probably tim or something) and now everyone does it.

[allthegothihopgirls]

i want to believe that the other batboys get so caught up in how damian NEVER acts like a normal child, that whenever they see him engaging in regular kid activities™ everyone is on high alert whilst trying to preserve the moment.

tim's with kon and they walk past jon's room to see him and damian playing toy cars? they start walking faster until they're a safe distance away, to stop in their tracks and share a mutual "what the fuck???"

jason and damian are arguing, something jason says strikes a nerve, and damian just stops and breaks the stoic act. jason has NO clue what to do with himself, because nothing he's ever said has gotten a non-violent reaction out of the kid.

dick's taking damian to the cinemas, and lets him pick what they watch. damian picks a kids movie, and doesn't make comments about it seeming 'childish' or 'boring', instead he looks genuinely interested. dick goes along with it but is really taken aback.

damian's patrolling with the other boys, and sustains a mild injury. everyone's used to him fixing himself up and never making a big deal out of it. they've seen him break bones and refuse medical attention, mainly because of how the league trained him. so when they get back to the batcave, and are all getting fixed up in the infirmary, everyone's shocked when damian, sitting to the side about to patch himself up, starts crying, because he's exhausted and hurt.

whenever the boys see damian asleep anywhere but his room, they make sure to tip-toe past and tell the others not to wake him. usually when this happens it's because he's been so exhausted, that he's sat down to watch a show, been playing with titus, or doing schoolwork, and he's just fallen asleep in the middle of it. afterwards, dick especially, makes sure that damian's sleeping enough, which is hard, because no one can tell that he's tired until he physically passes out.

[nightmareglitter]

Tim: I don't think we can Blackmail, Bully, Babygirl our way out of this one guys

Dick: Tim, what-

Jason, grinning: BOMBS IT IS

[versasfanficwastedump]

more Dad Things that Bruce Wayne definitely does:

makes the kids hold the flashlight when he’s working on the Batmobile and yells at them when they don’t do it right

makes lots of weird gross dad noises (groaning, hacking, etc)

snores like a fucking freight train. like seriously, there should be a noise warning on his bedroom door

snack tax in the car!!! reaches his hand back and does the little grabby thing

“when was the last time you changed your oil”

gives the worst directions

“so you’ll pull out of here and go north about three miles—“ “what the hell are you saying to me”

gets to the airport five hours before the plane takes off (it’s a private plane, it’s not leaving without him)

this is more of a mom thing, but he gasps like he’s just been stabbed when someone wakes him up

*whispering* “B…B…Bruce” “HEUEUH. What.”

Texts “Call me now.” and when the kids do, assuming something horrible has happened, he’s like “what should we eat for dinner tonight.”

on the other hand, he also forgets to tell the kids very important information

“how’s it going, B?” “not much just recovering from my wrist surgery last week” “your WHAT?!”

(that just happened to me. thanks dad)

[haxe-coding]

bf WOULD wear those striped hair extentions and dress scene and no-one can convince me otherwise

[tiger-grace]

Wayne Gala Event in which Jason is still publically deceased:

Journalist: Would you say you’ve been trying to fill the void that grieving your second son left with all of the new children you’ve adopted over the years?

Bruce, staring at Jason “legally dead” Todd, inching away from the snack table with half of its contents: uh. I would definitely say there is a void being filled.

[reaperfromtheabyss]

My @derinthescarletpescatarian perfectly normal spaceship books arrived! I ordered them off bookshop.org so I also got to support my local queer owned bookstore at the same time!

[mintbees]

I only had a passing familiarity with Kendrick Lamar until this morning so this is how im reading the genius lyrics annotations

[rewrittenwrongs]

Tim starts a Tumblr account and posts ‘incorrect quotes’ for all the bats, only they’re not incorrect they’re all actual conversations/sentences they’ve had, and he gains a huge following super quick because every line is pure gold. Barbara is the first to find out and agrees to help keep the secret, then it’s Stephanie who either gains access to the account or starts writing fanfic abt the batfam that includes all these details that line up a bit too perfectly with the truth because it’s hilarious, then Duke who thinks it’s genius and either still makes them buy his silence or starts drafting posts for Tim that he said with/to civilians and/or alone on patrol. Then Dick finds out because one of the Titans shows him this funny blog they found and he recognises almost every post, so he starts looking into it just as Tim starts posting Young Justice and Teen Titans ‘incorrect’ quotes too, and they have to blackmail him into silence.

When Bruce finds out he demands Tim delete the account, and instead Tim posts the entire conversation.

[jennrypan]

Jason, kicking in Dick's door: Stop fuckin lying to people!!

Dick: What the hell-? What?!

Jason: If I hear one more person calling me the angry Robin, I'm gonna stable your eyelids shut and shave you, I swear to God!

Dick: Why me?! What the hell did I do!?

Jason: I didn't study every night and go to bed on time to get called the angry Robin you bitch!

Dick: I've never called you that before in my life!!

Jason: Then who started it !?!

(Meanwhile)

Tim, sitting in his room giggling as he hears them fight: Hahaha..

Tim: I should move to Metropolis for a bit..

[heartof-kings]

I think the Batfamily knows how to cook. Its a useful life skill after all. But they all have their own ways of doing it.

Bruce only knows a few complicated dishes, and he does them well. He knows the favorite recipe of each of his kids, and he knows the family recipe he and his parents would make together when he was a child.

Dick does things quick and dirty in one pan, he knows the best way to heat up leftovers and have them taste equal or better than they did fresh.

Jason adds rich flavor to everything, knows exatly what flavors go with what and how to balance them. He's the best home cook and can make a good meal with limited ingredients.

Tim is the best at following recipes to a T, but can do a little improvisation if needed, or tweak a recipe to fit his expensive tastes, and he loves using cooking wine.

Steph is an experimentalist, she throws things together with little regaurd to anything and it somehow turns out tasty. Sometimes, she takes her food experiments to a chemical level.

Cass is excellent at making healthy, protein rich foods that fill you up and last you longer. Her cooking is always the best to have before a long fight.

Damian is new to cooking but his knife skills are impeccable. Everything is cut to the perfect shape, any shape he pleases. An apple as a bird or any other fun one, and he excells at making vegetarian tweaks to dishes.

The Batfamily can cook. But they also get distracted. Talking about case details, making fun of small mistakes from patrol or training. Little things they get caught up in that distract from stirring or watching the time until the smell of burning wafts through the house and Alfred is on the way to salvage what he can.