#dragoon rants

[dragooned-speaks]

Yay, first ask is exciting!

April Showers and May Flowers is a neat title, it sounds like it'll be a pretty fun one!

Writing for fandoms is hard...I tried a little bit but I never wrote very much because I just wasn't suited for it...I bet you'll do great tho bc I tend to give up too easy sometimes

Also word vomits are the best! Do it some more and talk about whatever you want, it's enjoyable!

I reached out bc I saw you read my Fallen Angel story earlier and I wanna thank you for the like, it was fun to see someone new show up since I'm not popular at all

Tell me about your ocs, if you don't mind!

Hello again! (Big word vomit under cut.) This is platonic ppl.

TWs: Abuse, emotional manipulation (does it count if it doesn't work?), dehumanization ig?, orphans, hybrids, spoilers for a future work?

April Showers should be the angst buildup and healing while May Flowers is the final healing and fluff.

So, there are four characters: Willa, Mina, Retribution (idk what his civillian name should be, so I'm taking suggestions!), and Tao. I have the character's physical traits (and a few more personality traits) and a bit of plot and worldbuilding before I write! So, I'll start with Willa, the protagonist!

Three are orphans and the other's parents aren't mentioned because I am not going through the pain of writing parents. This is a superhero (dystopian?) world about the classic superheroes aren't always good, but I made the villain adopters vigilante friends.

Willa is a she / her female who was born in May (see what I did?). Her power is a healing voice, like a switch when she sings. She's a nightingale avian hybrid and she's really quiet, and when she talks, she kinda half sings because her power works to some degree. Her power's drawback is after healing, her voice will get scratchy and hurt or just stop working, depending on the severity of the injury.

She wanted to help the heroes because they're good! ...Right? Well, they're not, and when she joins the Hero Healing Program (so creative, ik), she is immediantly singled out because she's an avian and her power doesn't have a CRAZY drawback like pain or... idk, so they try to force an imprint. Unknown to them, she imprinted on a certain hero trainee named... you guessed it, Mina. Of course, forced healing doesn't work half as well, but the Hero Corporate doesn't know that!

She's cautious and nervous because she has been punished for breathing too loud. Breathing too loud. Crazy, right? She preens herself, but she's self taught and the heroes clipped her wings to keep her around and a tracker. Later, she and Mina run away to Mina's friend Retribution. Slowly, she heals and we get May Flowers' fluff! They run away to be vigilantes, and she becomes Nightingale!

A background worker helping her friends, she gets a power to force people to dance lol. But she has stage fright.

Anyways, onto Mina! She joined the Hero Program because she looked up to heroes as a kid, believing the world to be black and white, so she joined the hero commitee to join the well, "good" side. Her power is luck bending, and she gives good luck to those she thinks is good and bad to those who she thinks are bad.

She's with Mina because they were roomed together as dormmates (is that a word?) and she's a work all day kind of person, but she will stay up until 4 to be with a friend, so she's pretty friendly to her allies. If you're a stranger, she'll ignore you. They became friends after Willa pushed these guys who were bullying Mina because she's a hybrid (because they were technically insulting her too). Mina's a moth hybrid, and also keeps a little canister of poison gas, hence why she wears a gas mask when patrolling.

She's the quiet, serious girl who always repays debts. At the age of 12, she was enrolled in the program (you can start at 10), and she joined as soon as possible. Around this time, Willa is like 9. Later she becomes Karma the vigilante after pretending to retire as a hero (they were too busy looking for a certain lost avian to notice lol). Also, her hero name was Mothra.

There's Lotl, another orphan, but he's crashing with Retribution. Lotl is a lizard / axolotl creature hybrid. He's based off the Tuatara lizard, the three eyed lizard that loses it later. He has a third eye that can scare most people to the point of paralysis, but that power disappears as he grows older, and subsequently, more human. He gains the power to control celestial matter (stars, nebula, etc) but he's like only a year older than Karma so he isn't able to do too much yet. Mainly using some weak sparks from stars to light up and some wind. He's close buds with Retribution, and he's like that one hero who poses for the news evem if he's illegal. He's chill, he's easygoing, and yeah. Karma tells him to hurry up and kick the bad guy already too often lol. Also, he can slit his eyes because cool stuff right there. His civillian name is Tio.

Finally, Retribution. He actually has parents (shocking I know) but we don't see them. They just kinda gave him a floor of the house and don't interact. His family's rich, but he doesn't really care. His power is emotion manipulation, and he always tries to talk before attacking. He sees enotions as clouds, colored dusty pibk to thundering, and can kinda cover his mind in clouds so mind readers can't read his mind. Speaking of, he can mind read in flashes of the clouds, and kinda paints the clouds to change emotions. He can do this best focusing on one person but if he focuses he can do it on a small crowd before almost passing out. He's scary serious, like way more than Karma, and he's really short, even though he's a few months older than Lotl, he's like 4'7.

[tovaicas]

↳ ꜰꜰxɪᴠ — ᴅᴇᴛᴀɪʟꜱ + ᴅʀᴀʜᴍ ᴋᴏʜʀ

ᴅʀᴀʜᴍ ᴋᴏʜʀ (ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴇᴄʜᴏ) ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴅʀᴀᴠᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴡʏᴠᴇʀɴ ᴏꜰ ɴɪᴅʜᴏɢɢ'ꜱ ʙʀᴏᴏᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀᴍᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅʀᴀᴠᴀɴɪᴀɴ ʜᴏʀᴅᴇ, ꜱᴘɪʀɪᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴏɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀɪᴅᴇʀ ʀᴏᴜᴠᴀꜱᴛʀᴇ ᴅᴇ ʟᴇᴜᴠᴇᴄʜɪᴇʀ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴꜱᴏɴɢ ᴡᴀʀ. ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜᴄᴄᴇꜱꜱᴏʀ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴏᴜʟ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢʟʏ ꜱᴜʙᴊᴜɢᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ ᴏꜱᴋʜ ꜱᴛʀᴀʜ, ꜱʜᴇ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ꜱᴏᴜʀᴄᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴅʀᴀɢᴏᴏɴ ᴀʙɪʟɪᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴇᴘꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴀɪᴛʜ. ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ɪɴᴛᴇɢʀᴀʟ ᴀꜱ ᴀɪʀ ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴅᴏᴍᴀ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜰᴇᴀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀɪᴍᴀʟ ꜱʜɪɴʀʏᴜ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀʟᴀ ᴍʜɪɢᴏ, ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴀɢᴀɪɴꜱᴛ ɪᴍᴘᴇʀɪᴀʟ ꜰᴏʀᴄᴇꜱ ᴀꜱ ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇꜱᴄᴜᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀɢᴇɴᴛꜱ ʜɪᴇɴ ʀɪᴊɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʟʏꜱᴇ ʜᴇxᴛ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʜɪᴍʟʏᴛ ᴅᴀʀᴋ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜰᴇᴀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀɪᴍᴀʟ ʟᴜɴᴀʀ ʙᴀʜᴀᴍᴜᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴇʟᴏᴘʜᴇʀᴏɪ ꜰᴏʀᴄᴇꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴏꜰ ᴛɪᴀᴍᴀᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀꜱꜱᴀᴜʟᴛ ᴏɴ ᴢᴏʟᴍ'ᴀᴋ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛ ᴅɪꜱᴛʀɪʙᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴜᴘᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴇʀɪᴀʟ ʀᴇᴄᴏɴɴᴀɪꜱꜱᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴏʀᴢᴇᴀɴ ᴀʟʟɪᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀʀʟᴇᴍᴀʟᴅ ᴏꜰꜰᴇɴꜱɪᴠᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛʟʏ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱᴘᴏʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴇꜱᴛɪɴɪᴇɴ ᴠᴀʀʟɪɴᴇᴀᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴀʟᴅᴇɴᴀʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴀʀʟᴇᴍᴀʟᴅ ʙʏ ᴀɪʀ ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴꜰɪʟᴛʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ɢᴀʀʟᴇᴍᴀʟᴅ. ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴜʟᴛɪᴍᴀ ᴛʜᴜʟᴇ, ꜱʜᴇ ʜᴀꜱ ᴍᴇᴛᴀᴍᴏʀᴘʜᴏꜱᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀɴ ᴀʟᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴ ᴇʟᴅᴇʀ ᴡʏᴠᴇʀɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴀᴅᴀᴘᴛᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴀɴᴇᴜᴠᴇʀᴀʙɪʟɪᴛʏ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɪʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟʏ ᴄᴀʀʀʏ ᴀ ʀɪᴅᴇʀ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.

[la-pheacienne]

No I get the tendency to internalise your feelings of anger instead of expressing them but do you ever go like "YOU'RE A SPOILED ARROGANT BRAT WITH THE BRAINS OF A DONKEY AND THE FACE *hiccup* *coughs* of a toad”

[cacklefrendly]

oh god my minecraft(QSMP) hyperfixation is at full strength but my ffxiv one is also back from the war just in time for the anniversary event

shit

[dragooned-speaks]

Anybody else wanna punch that first teacher in the face really hard? Cause I really do. Ahem.

WHY YOU STUPID IDIOT OF A TEACHER WHY WHY WHY DID YOU AHJHHJMDKIDKDMNHHHJHH.

Take it back. I wanna kill this teacher. And send the second one to paradise.

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

[dancingallnight]

*doesnt post anything for a month*

heres my warrior of light i like her shes very pretty

*proceeds to disappear off the face of the earth for another month*

[shutendragoon]

God my biggest pet peeve is weird ass parents bringing up the “how do i explain *basic LGBT concept* to my kids???????”

Like come the fuck on, Cathy 

It takes less than 30 seconds to explain to Timmy that some people like the same gender or that some people dont identify with the shit they were assigned at birth.

Just admit you got hate in your heart and go make a tiktok where you make undercooked mac and cheese in a toilet.

[freyito]

ʜᴏᴀʀᴅᴇʀ

✭ pairing(s): estinien varlineau x gn reader

★inspo: something my friend said that STUCK stuck so HARD

✩ in which: dragons tend to hoard the things most precious to them.

✧ a/n: need to get this out of my system okay. i need to. i promise you there's a luocha fic and like more fics up i PINKY PROMMY. i wanna write so bad but ffxiv also has me by the neck

🗒 cw: gn reader, he's just jelly (but not like yandere... he's silly), ENDWALKER SPOILERS, short n sweet, not proofread

✎ wc: 1.6k

Estinien is a jealous man. It is not something you can genuinely tell, seeing as he plays it off. But inside, he’s pouting and crossing his arms, sometimes even imagining him whisking you off. He is the most calm and collected man you know, blunt in almost all aspects. Unafraid to speak the truth, except when it comes to you.

He himself has noticed the changes with his behavior, as small as they may be, ever since he had ‘absorbed’ Niddhogg. When he fell for you, he had felt so oddly attracted to you, a constant pull that lured him in closer, and closer. One that he did his best to ignore, but clearly couldn’t, given the current day, and that shiny ring on your finger.

Regardless of your known status, Estinien cannot help but be jealous. The gods themselves could dote on you and he would still pout like a little kid. He would give them the dirtiest of looks, but turn his head away and act painfully unaware of what he was doing if you looked his way. But over the better part of a year, you’ve learned to read his tells. His voice deepens ever so slightly, his eyebrows furrow, and he’ll adamantly deny the fact that he was jealous. Which, obviously, does nothing to hide his lie. A man of his standing? The Azure Dragoon? Jealous? No, no. He isn’t, he could never be jealous.

And yet, here he is, doing his best not to show any outward signs of jealousy. While you were seated with your friends at the Last Stand, with Estinien brooding nearby. He wasn’t stalking you, in fact, you had enthusiastically invited him. But he chose to stay away, grumbling about protection or something of the sort. Which would seem right of him, given that he had just returned from saving the world. But you knew full well that that wasn’t the case. You were meeting up with friends, to enjoy a comforting meal after believing you were to witness the end of the life you’ve known.

You can almost hear his grumbling and ranting in his head, as you chat and laugh with your friends. It felt lighter, something that had been devoid in the days that had been past. You had been worried sick about Estinien and the Scions, traveling to the edges of the universe was something that felt unfathomable. And to know that Estinien was willingly going on such a venture, it was horrifying. So, when he came back alive and well, you were more than relieved. And it was clear he had worried about you, too. Though he would never tell the scions that, he wouldn’t even admit that he was worried sick about you. Not only is he a jealous bastard, but a stubborn one, too.

However, that does not mean he didn’t show you how much he missed you. The night he returned, all he did was hold you, head buried in the crook of your neck. Barely any words were shared, and any time you shifted underneath him, to simply reach for a blanket or stretch your legs out, he pulled you impossibly closer with a soft huff. To see him being all moody in the corner of your eye while you catch up with friends after the night before… you couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

You can practically read his inner thoughts. ‘Why do they get so close?’, ‘Why do they get to take up their time?’, and you know you’ll remedy his jealousy so easily in a couple more hours. It’s not like he couldn’t sit down with you, but he wasn’t much for PDA either. So watching (and pouting) from a distance was all he chose to do. And you respected it, no matter how silly you thought it to be.

“I missed you,” Estinien grumbles as his hand finds yours, quick to pull you away and towards the Baldesion Annex, fidgeting with your fingers as he does so. His tone is almost mournful, but you know he’s being dramatic. Only with you. “Let’s take a break. I want time with you, and you alone.”

He speaks as if he was really engaging with you and your friends. You can’t help but smile at his clinginess, something that was, again, only shown towards you. Yet he had grown out of his shell over the past couple of years as well, you knew that. Especially when he joined the Scions on their little… adventure. You had never seen him so energetic, normally he was just dark and moody. But he started to smile more, even try and joke, and it was comforting to see. You had found friends with the scions as well, Y’shtola mainly since she had the most sensible tastes out of everyone. The girl-talk with her was amazing, and you had learned things you never even thought of before. Simply the talk of reflections and calamities was enough to make your head spin. But it did boost your ego to know that you had made sense of certain things without being directly in the fight, while your fiancé could barely make heads or tails of it.

You lose yourself in your thoughts, mind bringing back more and more memories, delightful as they were. Before he had left, he had proposed, something you had never thought he would’ve done in a million years. But his proposal was sappy, sentimental, and you swore you caught tears in his eyes. Thinking back on it, it felt almost outlandish. The former Azure Dragoon, knelt before you, rambling on about how much you’ve changed him, his outlook on life, and all he would do for you (which was nothing short of everything).

Before you can dig too deep into your memories or perhaps even shed a tear, Estinien’s pulled you back so easily, pulling your hand up to his face and placing a kiss to your palm. How quick he was to take up a room, yet so calm, he was practically desperate for more attention. Your attention. And he plans on savoring every second he has with you.

It only strikes you as he leads you to the bed. He’s hoarding you. Every bit of jealousy and possessiveness is a part of the shadow of Niddhogg, or whatever is left of it. Estinien he may be, but there were still remnants of a great wyrm in his body, one that tends to keep the most precious things close. You can’t help but be stunned by this revelation, while you could understand different timelines, for years you had wondered just why he could be so possessive with you. Like a dragon from a children’s tale, and it’s pile of gold, you are his charge. Or more simply put: you are the apple of his eye.

He holds you so very close, as he did the night before, lips ghosting against your neck. His breathing is even, deep and measured, his hands settled on your waist. If you were to ask him if he enjoyed spending his time like this, he'd adamantly deny it, saying he prefers training over… cuddling. Such a childish thing, he would say, wave it off, and shake his head. But, of course, actions speak louder than words. He loves you, after all he had been through and seen, he just had the sudden urge to be by you, to feel your skin against his, feel your hands in his hair (which is his favorite feeling, to be cared for, the tender touch of a lover. But he would never admit that), and whisper sweet nothings to you.

Emboldened by his trust in his comrades, Estinien had faced the end of the world head on. And yet, beforehand, there was an uncommon fear, one he could not shake. Farbeit for him to be afraid. But when faced with the Ragnarok, there was a voice in his head screaming at him to turn back. You were in his every thought as he pushed on, worried that your look of concern would be the last thing he ever saw on his face. He had never been scared of death, far from it. That was how life went, if he were to die in his service, to Ishgard, to the Scions, anywhere, then he had no complaints. But suddenly, he couldn’t stand the thought of dying. And every step he took when they ended up in Ultima Thule was a defiant one. He had promised you that he would come back to see the life you two could build with each other, and he was not one to break promises.

Every act he had done since he returned was part of that promise, his jealous brooding included. There was more to living than just living, and that reason was you. He reminded himself of that, and in turn, tightened his arms around you with a soft huff. You could poke fun at him and his jealousy, that you have him wrapped around your finger, scold him for his spending habits, and he’d still want nothing more than to curl up in your arms at the end of the day.

© freyito, 2024 | masterlist | queue | kofi | star header by roseschoices DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.

[spoiler-alert-andabunchofnumbers]

Now here's a serious question: in Valisthea, are dragoons (and everyone if they have the training) able to naturally jump like this, or do they have to be using magic - perhaps Light magic specifically? Some of Dion's attack jumps are specifically using Light magic to create the shockwave, but in this instance we see he doesn't have to be doing a Jump/Dive attack to be able to just launch himself further than any regular jump should manage.

One of the more hilarious things in the game is that the jump button for Clive makes him jump like a NORMAL PERSON. Unlike in, say FF13 (the sequels especially where there is a designated jump button), he can't naturally launch himself from a dead stop to arguably higher than his own height (magically enhanced or not). I question the inclusion of a jump button if it's going to be so useless and you have Garuda powers to launch you in the air if necessary.

So does that mean in Sanbreque, with their prejudices against Bearers, technically the dragoons are using some kind of magic-infused armor or weapons while still not wielding actual magic themselves? Is Dion the only one capable of using a Jump/Dive without it needing to be an attack? Is this why Dion always has his spear when he Primes - to help him focus his magic? When shit went down in Twinside, he Primed *without* holding his spear, but it was present when he eventually De-primed, suggesting that it is somehow tied to his Prime (or the devs needed him to have his spear in the next cutscene and didn't want us to think about it that hard).

Sidenote: why did the game feel it necessary to tease Dion dying here? Did it feel like that to anyone else? Like "I will be with you anon" as the last man to fight to buy the ship enough time to eacape...and he does - proving in the process that he is far better to be the last man buying the ship time when Clive's escape against the Sleipnirs ended with him barely clinging to the Enterprise and telling Mid to punch it. Dion is able to actually jump a long distance even when the ship is taking off. Cool. But why focus on Dion buying them a few extra seconds? Just to show off for ONE scene? Why did it feel like they were teasing that he might not make it...when he easily does?

Anyway, I rant as always

DION LESAGE ↳ Elusive Jump

[dragooned-speaks]

So, new plans. I left my WiPs far away where I don't have access, but guess what??? Break is here! I made a little sketch and I finally watched Episode 5! So, here's a little mini sketch thingy as an apology and a gateway. I now have three new WiPs and an idea. Anyways, no stalling.

[thechaoticplayer]

that anon wasn’t me but they are absolutely correct and i feel like i should give my two cents worth about all of this among the sea of hate towards the nijisanji livers. i’m not bootlicking the company, but i feel like it’s hypocritical for people to sent hate to the talents after doki said MULTIPLE times not to since she was also a victim of such behavior (and plenty of dragoons no longer even feel safe in her community because of the immense amount of people who are only there to harass and don’t even care for her) this is a rant that just shows that the issue is gray and that we’ll never really know what’s going on as outsiders

tell the remaining members to graduate because their fanbase will follow them is stupid, acting like they didn’t work their asses off to get where they are and haven’t invested so much in their current persona. ike, elira, and vox are some of the most popular talents so that it makes sense for anycolor to force them into making the stream. saying that vox doesn’t care about mental health after his charity stream and saying that it was just for show need to shut up because we’ll never how how he’s really feeling behind the avatar. elira specifically doesn’t deserve the disproportionate amount of hate and disgusting things she received from it from what was essentially revenge porn to art of her being abused, have these people not been taught that if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all? it costs NOTHING to spam hate on your private account instead.

while i agree that the 2% merch sales and 1/4 (after youtube) of the supas should be raised, that doesn’t mean that the livers aren’t making any money and are poor as several of them have mentioned being able to pay off student loans and have turned their lives around with the money. while it sucks that selen made no profit after investing 200k into projects, maria has mentioned before that covers were more of passion gifts to fans rather than something to make money off of (i DO think that they should be paid for their projects, but that’s just how it goes unfortunately). last cup of coffee was taken down because she didn’t have all of the proper permissions and rushed posting it as a sweet gift to fans, management had full intentions to put it back up.

accusing livers of being bullies based on speculations is idiotic as it just hurts innocent people in the crossfire. these may just look like anime women and men to you, but they are REAL PEOPLE and streaming for nijisanji is their main livelihood! have some empathy, it’s hurting their mental health (the mental health some “dragoons” seem to care about so much)

this goes to say, i am on doki’s side because NO ONE should have to go what she went through, but i just want to show that there are two sides to a coin. i think that nijisanji needs better management, to allow their talents more freedom and a higher percentage of merch sales/supas, and stop treating their livers like shit! stop the harassment and move on, it’s what doki has mentioned multiple times that she wanted! don’t be one of the reasons another liver may have to go what she went through because you have an irrational hate boner for the company

also stream mani / gilty x gilty by maria marionette, finana ryugu, POMU RAINPUFF, meloco kyoran, and kotoka torahime

guys this shit right here

This right here

We need to like post this everywhere bc holy shit people need to understand

You are 100% right!! I agree with everything you just said, esp the "graduate and get out of the company" because they really did bust their asses off to get where they are now and it's a childish way of thinking

[zottower]

❗Warning : rant about FF4 the Years After, don't read if you don't want to ruin your mood ❗ Let's face it : I'm a real crybaby when it comes to Cecil Harvey. Proof is that it's been two months since I stopped playing TaY after beating his evil alter ego. And that's dumb because I know there's a bunch of cool challenging bosses after that. But just after beating the dark knight I couldn't go on. I was so disappointed by the story. I don't like Evil Kain and Evil Cecil in this game. There are some cool stuff in TaY, but after Evil Golbez in the first game being that epic villain so powerful it's just cheating, clever to the point it should be illegal, with megalomaniacal ambitions including opening a path to the moon and so on ... Evil Kain and Evil Cecil have so mediocre goals, so little wits ... After overcoming their dark side, they could just say this famous Squall line : "I dreamt that I was a moron". The thing is that reading Evil Kain's lines just made me roll my eyes and I was happy to put an end to this part of the story to have a Holy Dragoon Knight, because I think teal suits him. But Cecil ... I would like to use him in my team, but I can't. I just hate him in this game now. Who thought it would be the coolest idea to make his dark side a loser who attacks his son and his wife if they don't obey him just like the first patriarcal idiot who comes along ? I don't think it's fun. I think it's small, to say things nicely. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that it's impossible for Cecil to relapse, but not that way. There could have been better possibilities. Will I ever get over this ? I don't know. Maybe just posting that will make me put things in perspective, maybe ruminating on this just makes things uselessly worse. The only thing that I know for sure is that yes, I'm taking this character too seriously. ._.

[thousandfireworks]

Authors whose books you have to avoid because they are problematic.

Abigail Hing Wen.

Alex Aster.

Alice Hoffman.

Alice Oseman.

Alison Win Scotch. ‘Terrorism is never acceptable. Not in Israel.’

Allie Sarah.

Amber Kelly.

Amy Harmon.

Annabelle Monaghan.

Anna Akana.

Aurora Parker.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz.

Brandon Sanderson. Islamophobic.

Carissa Broadbent. Said that hamas is doing violence against innocence.

Chloe Walsh. Siding with Israel in the name of humanity.

Christina Lauren. Believe that Israel is the victim. A racist, also Islamophobic.

Colleen Hoover.

Cora Reilly. Travel to Israel despite criticism.

Danielle Bernstein. Islamophobic.

Danielle Lori.

Deke Moulton. Said hamas is terrorist.

Dian Purnomo.

Eliza Chan.

Elle Kennedy.

Elyssa Friedland.

Emily Henry.

Emily Mclntire.

Emily St. J. Mandel. Admiring Israel.

Gabrielle Zevin. Wrote a book about anti-Palestine. Mentioned Israel multiple times without context on his book.

Gregory Carlos. Israeli author. A zionist.

Hannah Whitten.

Hazel Hayes. Reposted a post about October 7th.

Heidi Shertok.

Jamie McGuire.

Jay Shetty. ‘Violence is happening in Israel.’

Jean Meltzer.

Jeffery Archer. Wrote a book with a mc Israel operative (mossad) in a positive and anti terrorist light.

Jennifer Hartman. Liked a post about pro-Israel.

Jen Calonita.

Jessa Hastings.

Jill Santopolo. Said that Israel has right to exist and fight back.

John Green.

Jojo Moyes.

J. Elle.

J. K. Rowling. Support genocide. Racist. Islamophobic.

Kate Canterbery.

Kate Stewart.

Katherine Howe.

Katherine Locke.

Kristin Hannah. Support Israel. Shared a donation link.

Laini Taylor.

Laura Thalassa. Islamophobic.

Lauren Wise. Cussed that Palestinian supporters would be raped in front of children.

Lea Geller. Thanked people who supports Israel.

Leigh Dragoon. Islamaphobic and anti Asian racist rants on Twitter and threads

Leigh Stein.

Lilian Harris. A racist. Blocking people who educates about colonialism in Palestine and call them disgusting.

Lisa Barr. A daughter of Holocaust survivor. Support Israel.

Lisa Kennedy Montgomery.

Lisa Steinke.

Liz Fenton.

Lynn Painter. Afraid of getting cancelled as a pro-Palestine and posted a template afterwards.

L. J. Shen. Her husband joins idf (Israel army).

Mariana Zapata.

Marie Lu.

Marissa Meyer.

Melissa de la Cruz.

Michelle Cohen Corasanti.

Michelle Hodkin. Spread false rumors about arab-hamas. Islamophobic.

Mitch Albom. ‘We shouldn't blame Israel for surviving attacks or defending against them.’

Monica Murphy. Siding with Israel.

Naomi Klein.

Navah Wolfe.

Neil Gaiman. Suggested Palestinians unite with Israel and become citizens.

Nicholas Sparks.

Nic Stone. Talked nonsense that children in Palestinian refugee camp are training to be martyrs for Allah because they felt it was their call in life.

Nyla K.

Olivia Wildenstein. Blocking people who disagree with Israel wrongdoing.

Pamela Becker.

Penelope Douglas.

Pierce Brown.

Rachel Lynn Solomon.

Rebecca G. Martinez.

Rebecca Yarros. ‘I despise violence’ her opinion about what's happening in Gaza. Blocking people who calls her a zionist.

Rena Rossner.

Renee Ahdieh.

Rick Riordan.

Rina Kent.

Rivka (noctem.novelle).

Rochelle Weinstein.

Romina Garber. ‘These terrorist attacks do nothing to improve the lives of Palestinians people.’

Roshani Chokshi. Encourage people to donate to Israel.

Samantha Greene Woodruff.

Sarah J. Mass. Her book contained ideology of zionism.

Stephanie Garber. Promoting books by zionist author (Sarah J. Mass)

Skye Warren.

Sonali Dev.

Talia Carner.

Tarryn Fisher. Said ‘there was terrorist attack in Israel.’

Taylor Jenkins Reid. Posted a video about genocide.

Tere Liye. Rumoured to have ghoswriters to write his books and never give credit to them.

Tillie Cole.

Tracy Deon.

Trinity Traveler (Ade Perucha Hutagaol). Rumour to wrote book about handsome Israelis.

T. J. Klune.

Uri Kurlianchik.

Veronica Roth.

Victoria Aveyard. ‘Israel has the right to exist.’ quote from her about the issue.

V. E. Schwab. Shared a donation link and video about Israel.

Yuval Noah. ‘Israel has the right to do anything to defend themselves.’

Zibby Owens.

[hazelkjt]

Hi. It’s me thinking about Monster Hunter Wilds again because of the Beta. Just filled out the survey for it and wanted to rant about the changes to what I’m now thinking will probably be my main in the game once it comes out: Insect Glaive. My Dragoon loving heart can’t resist an airborne based spear weapon lmao.

Now, this lamp on a stick of a weapon has been the topic of controversy ever since the first reports of its rework came about. It’s one of few weapons in Wilds that I feel are getting an overhaul of sorts, alongside the Gunlance Bow and Bowguns. Unfortunately, unlike the other three there the changes to the IG were mostly…shit. And I hate that it’s the weapon I had the most fun with in the Beta looking back.

Firstly, you don’t get access to your upgraded moveset without the triple extract anymore, before all you needed was the red extract. I get why this was done from a gameplay standpoint. Capcom wanted to incentivize people to actually work for the triple buff rather than only go for red and white and ignore orange, but this was the absolute worst way to go about it. And the solution is painfully obvious (which means they’re never gonna do it): just swap the bonuses of the red extract and triple buff. Have red upgrade your moveset like normal and have triple buff unlock the ability to charge your attacks. This still incentivizes getting triple buff but doesn’t invalidate your entire playstyle if you can’t reach the orange buff on a monster, which some can be a huge pain in the ass to get to.

The removal of the aerial bounce is sad but only because it removes options from the weapon. I couldn’t care less about the “The Floor Is Lava” playstyle, it’s not how I’ve ever played IG. But regardless the move was useful for repositioning in the air, and now it was taken away for no apparent reason while Longsword gets every kind of option under the sun to do whatever it wants with no commitment or repercussions whatsoever.

The new tornado slash is a good move, in concept. You spend your buffs right before they run out and your kinsect grabs new ones as it attacks with you (side note, the kinsect attacking in tandem with you in focus mode is a fantastic change that should’ve always been part of the core moveset). The issue comes from the fact that the kinsect can extract multiples of the same color buff at the same time…why? What purpose could that possibly fucking serve? Tornado slash would be so much fucking better if it just didn’t allow the bug to double or TRIPLE up on the same damn buff color.

But in spite of all of this, and the overall lack of hitstop on weapons in the Beta, I couldn’t help but have the most fun with the Insect Glaive. Again, the new stuff they added is all great, I love the new buff spender and the charge attacks. Everything felt it flowed together flawlessly.

I don’t know where I was going with this, I just needed to get my mind off of current events and vent my frustrations and hopes for this game. Hoping Capcom puts out a proper demo to alleviate the concerns people have over the Beta.

[lilithsaga]

Selen Tatsuki and the Dangers of Corporate Mismanagement

Before the announcement, the community was divided into two groups.

One side consisted of Dragoons (Selen's fanbase) and other pro-Selen fans who just wanted to have any update on Selen's status regardless of what the outcome may be, campaigning #WhereIsSelen across Twitter/X.

The other side consisted of anti-NijiEN fans who would holler about Nijisanji EN and ANYCOLOR being a black company that treats their talents like shit and only cares about their own greed and reputation.

These two sides would argue about the speculation behind Selen's weeks of disappearance following the removal of the "Last Cup of Coffee" cover song by NijiEN management.

Then, on February 5th 2024, the dreaded white document was posted... and the internet exploded in rage.

Link to the full document here.

We could go through all the different warning signs and the timeline of events that led to this announcement, but I guarantee other people on the internet have that covered. If you decided to read this rant, I'm 90% sure it's because you've heard about Selen Tatsuki's controversial termination from other sources.

Instead, I want to reflect on Selen's situation in a corporate company and how that affected her mental health... citing some of my own personal experiences as well.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional or a professional of anything. I'm a random succubus on the internet with an opinion and experience, so take it however you wish. This is just reflection and personal speculation.

TW: mentions of harassment, depression, and thoughts of suicide. Reader discretion is advised.

My Background

I am a vtuber (or rather, PNGtuber), but not a corporate vtuber. However, I work for a corporate company in my IRL job in a 9-to-5 office setting. I started as an intern, came back to work with them after graduating university, got laid off after 6 months because of interest rates and over-hiring, and was brought back 2 months later in a different role to help them with demand.

Despite not working for a corporate vtuber company, I think it can be agreed upon that corporate is corporate no matter the industry, at least at the very core of their operations. Corporations are just large companies at the end of the day.

The reason I wanted to make this post is that, from one corporate worker to another, I 100% understand why Selen did what she did and feel that I am still facing a similar situation.

I may not have been a Dragoon, but I have always admired how she interacted with her community and created so many fun events for everyone to enjoy. Even though she wasn't my Oshi, I was deeply concerned about Selen's well-being.

And while I believed you couldn't trust Nijisanji EN any further than you could throw them, I was waiting to see how it would turn out. Because there was no way Selen, one of the Vtuber community's most beloved gamers and content creators, would stay missing in action forever. It wouldn't be long before Nijisanji EN would make their move.

Selen's Termination

Again, here's the link to the white document that set the internet ablaze.

I want to make one slightly controversial take here before we break it down... what Selen did is within grounds for termination.

Listen! Before the pitchforks are brought out, I'm not saying that Nijisanji EN should have fired Selen the way they did. There was sooo much they could have done to avoid this outcome that they clearly neglected to consider. But knowing how corporate jobs operate, or honestly, how any job or role operates, Selen clearly failed to follow Nijisanji protocol. She essentially went rogue.

We won't be analyzing the document word for word. Please read the full termination announcement by Nijisanji EN if you haven't already.

Instead, we're going to be analyzing key parts of the termination announcement by Nijisanji EN that I feel need further discussion.

Selen's Permissions

One thing I've noticed many people confused about is why Nijisanji EN removed the Last Cup of Coffee cover when there is evidence of Selen having permission long before posting it.

Selen "Last Cup of Coffee" After Party Stream clip, from FalseEyeD's video

LilyPichu's tweet confirming Selen had permission since August 2022

Artist who worked with Selen, Madi/@weeniedesu, shares how Selen paid her back personally when Nijisanji EN never got around to it

Selen got permissions from the creator and producer of the song. She got permissions from the artists that she commissioned. She took care of anything that could have been copyrighted, so why is Nijisanji saying she didn't check all the boxes for approval?

There's only one possibility. She never got approval from management.

Because if you work for a corporate company, you need to get approval from supervisors before ANYTHING goes out. Large companies have a reputation to keep, and if something goes out without supervisors getting a chance to review it... it could be bad shit. Maybe it's information that isn't supposed to be leaked; maybe it's an offensive joke; maybe it's as simple as a typo. The list goes on.

However, if their management is as awful as we think it is, I doubt Nijisanji EN even follows their own protocol.

The process of getting checks and approvals from other parties is always going to be longer than doing everything yourself. With good management, this is usually not a problem. But with bad management... this is a nightmare.

Personal Story Time!

When I came back from being laid off, I had new job requirements, a new role, and a new supervisor. As a person, I actually like my supervisor. She is very creative, knows what steps need to be taken for the company, and we have similar attitudes and humor. Unfortunately, this does not translate to how she manages a team.

My main issue with my manager is that she does not take the time or show interest in my work. She runs around like she's a chicken with her head cut off, will bury herself in her office and demand team members not interrupt her physically or virtually unless it's urgent, and will only speak to you if she needs something from you without really checking in on you.

Forgive me, for I am still young, but growing up, I was always under the impression that it was a supervisor's job to check in on their team and set them up for success. With this environment that I still find myself in, I'll be honest... I don't really feel supported at all.

I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around my supervisor and can only contact her whenever a 5-minute happy hour presents itself. I have work that needs to be done within a day, sometimes a week for bigger projects, but I struggle to get my supervisor's attention because my work is less crucial than that of some of my teammates. I often feel like the only way to get attention for the work I need to do is if I kick down the door and shove a printed copy in her face. Even so, that very rarely guarantees anything gets done in time that clients expect it to.

I understand that supervisors in high leadership positions don't always have a lot of time. Because of that, I was told that it was my responsibility to go to them when I have problems or stuff that needs done.

And yes, I should be more assertive about my work. Everyone should go to supervisors for situations that they need help with.

But if supervisors don't make that easy for you to do, what is the point?

Story time is over! Back to Selen!

Given my experience, I can understand how Selen feels. For a cover song of this scale, it must have taken months... maybe even a year—for it to be created in the first place. So the fact that Nijisanji EN management claims they first saw the video on December 24th is very concerning.

If this statement is true, then that means that they didn't do their job of checking in with Selen on the progress of this cover project. Or worse, Selen didn't trust them to work with her on releasing the cover song on time, so she took matters into her own hands.

Either way, it shows little to no support from Nijisanji EN management on an important project and reveals a damaged relationship between the two parties.

Honestly, I don't blame Selen. Yes, she did break company protocol, and it is a fire-able offense. But if her management was anything like mine, I would have done the same thing. Hell, I shouldn't be saying this, but I have done the same thing to a lesser degree. (It is rule-breaking, but not illegal. Best if I don't go into detail.)

But if Selen's management is as hard to get in contact with as my supervisor, how the hell does ANYTHING get done? Companies need to conduct business. But how can business be done if employees cannot progress due to management delays?

If they're not going to take the time to work with their employees to get proper permissions on time for upcoming projects ON TIME, I don't think they should be surprised at how things turned out.

Selen's Harassment

The worst part of this announcement is the blatant disregard for Selen's side and point of view on behalf of Nijisanji EN management.

"She claimed that she was no longer able to engage in her activities as a Liver due to the decisions made by ANYCOLOR, was being harassed by other affiliated Livers due to mismanagement, etc., while refusing to acknowledge her responsibility for violating the Activity Rules."

This sentence sticks out to so many people, especially the second part of it. But both parts are important because of Nijisanji EN's response.

We will get to that in a moment.

But let's focus on the claims Selen makes here:

"She claimed that she was no longer able to engage in her activities as a Liver due to the decisions made by ANYCOLOR."

This ties in to what we talked about earlier with the lack of support from management. Selen's claim expressed that she could not move forward with what she wanted to do because of the barriers to ANYCOLOR's decisions. Her feelings here make sense, given how it isn't the first time that her plans have been prevented by management.

More importantly, though, Selen also claims she

"was being harassed by other affiliated Livers due to mismanagement."

While many people want to know who these livers are—believe me, I'm curious as well��I want to know something else. If one of your talents is claiming there is harassment within your company, why aren't you investigating this?

Harassment is not something to be taken lightly or brushed off as an inconvenience. If your employee feels unsafe working at your company, I think it's worth taking a step back to try and understand where that employee is coming from, regardless of whether you think it's true or not.

So how do Nijisanji EN management and ANYCOLOR respond?

"ANYCOLOR believes that the claims raised by Selen Tatsuki are in fact referring to situations that arose when she was warned about her breaches of the Activity Rules and attempts to shift the responsibility for these violations, damaging ANYCOLOR and NIJISANJI EN's image. This led to the deterioration of the relationship between her, ANYCOLOR, and other Livers affiliated with ANYCOLOR. ANYCOLOR firmly believes that we and other Livers under our affiliation have not engaged in unjust practices towards Selen Tatsuki."

So instead of listening to her concerns, they brush off her claims as Selen crying wolf and blame her for making Nijisanji EN look bad.

HELLO???

I'm honestly not sure why I'm surprised by this blatant disregard for human emotion by a greedy corporate company. They clearly decided they didn't want to take the time to understand how badly Selen was hurting from their decisions.

And why would they? Especially when they clearly see her as bad trouble ruining their precious image.

However, they were aware that all of the stress from their company landed their employee in the hospital. So now, let's talk about the heaviest part of this story.

Selen's Attempt

TW: mentions of depression, and thoughts of su1cide. Please skip this portion (by finding the next smiling Selen screenshot) if you are not in a good mind to be reading about this!

Let's go back to Christmas... or rather, a few days after.

After the removal of "Last Cup of Coffee" from her channel, Selen stayed eerily silent. It was unusual for her to skip streams, especially collab streams, without notifying her followers. But given what just happened, it was very likely she was upset.

From her official Twitter/X account, only two tweets were created after Christmas. Whether she tweeted it or Nijisanji EN tweeted it, it only slightly matters to me. The fact of the matter is this: the events described in those tweets are true.

"I apologize for the silence. I've been in the hospital after an accident and will be staying there for a few days to be under supervision. I just got back access to my phone yesterday."

As soon as I read this tweet, my heart sank. Selen just had a negative incident at her company, where she had lost so much both financially and mentally. What part of "I've been in the hospital after an accident" makes anyone feel calm?

And the worst part... "an accident." Not a car accident, not a fist fight, just... an accident.

(In hindsight, the quasi-vague wording fits Nijisanji's modus operandi perfectly. It's specific enough to indicate something had happened, but not specific enough to indicate what that event was.)

But saying something is an accident... that's an easy cop-out for saying that someone attempted and survived... I think.

At least, it made the most sense to me at the time. Selen just lost $15,000 on a passion project that had a single unmovable barrier in it's way. Regardless of whether she is financially well-off or not, that's an enormous amount for anyone to lose in a day. If she had decided to attempt after something like that, I honestly wouldn't blame her in the slightest.

But the part of it that really had me suspicious that this was an attempt was that she was under supervision and "I just got back access to my phone yesterday."

This part is going to get a little personal here...

As someone with major depressive disorder, crippling anxiety, and suicidal ideations, I've found myself in inpatient care before. For those unaware, an inpatient is someone who stays in a hospital while under medical treatment. They receive lodging, food, and medicine to help them through whatever they are going through. It's the easiest way for someone to receive medication while also being watched closely to see if any changes to their health occur.

My reason for being inpatient is a bit personal. But at the very least, I was in an unstoppable depressive fit of constant crying where I couldn't even answer the simplest questions and didn't know what to do to stop crying.

As I was taken to the inpatient facility, saying goodbye to my mother, stripped of all my belongings (including clothes), and told I needed to sleep in a thin bed with nothing but a hospital gown on... the impact of my new reality away from the rest of the outside world terrified me and made me more depressed.

So, when Selen said she was under supervision and had her phone taken away... it instantly reminded me of what I experienced in the inpatient unit. I had my phone taken away, I had others think I was going to harm myself, I was allowed 1 hour of visitation at a specific hour every day where my emergency contact came to sit and talk with me, and the supervision was still very strict, with night guards poking a flashlight through your door to make sure you didn't do anything at night.

That's all I'm going to say about my experience.

Naturally, given what I had experienced, it didn't seem unreasonable to me that Selen's accident could have been a serious attempt on taking her life.

And who knows how long she had to fight to keep her sanity working as a corporate vtuber for Nijisanji EN? The job is stressful enough whether management is good or bad. But if the management is bad and stays bad for a long time with no improvements, patience can run out very quickly. One bad day can snowball into an avalanche.

For Selen, I imagined the pressure was becoming too much to handle. This heartfelt cover song could have been the breaking point that pushed her over the edge.

But, at that time, there was no proof.

So I stayed quiet, because people suggesting this narrative were getting flamed online for saying it. And honestly, with no confirmation at that point, it would probably inspire fear in a lot of Dragoons. It would cause them to assume the worst.

However, I said this at the beginning. The events described in her final tweets as Selen Tatsuki are true.

Confirmed by a little birdie.

"I will not be silenced anymore. On Dec, I was hospitalized for an attempt that was caused by a built up of bullying from within & being in a toxic & poor environment for numerous months that lead to my breaking point. I requested to leave first but on more neutral terms on 26th Jan."

This tweet is courtesy of Selen's previous life before joining Nijisanji EN, and is where she is now. Dokibird tweeted this not long after the announcement dropped, fully prepared with her statement.

It broke my heart knowing that what I had suspected was indeed true. For someone so talented to be going through so much turmoil, it would have been the biggest tragedy in vtubing history if we were to lose her in the worst way possible.

But, at the end of it all, I'm so glad to know she is alive, well, and will continue to move forward with more support than she ever expected.

It is the end of Selen Tatsuki's journey, but the beginning of Dokibird's next chapter.

Selen's Legacy

With the scarier stuff out of the way, I want to mention one last thing that irritated me about Selen's termination.

Nijisanji EN did not value Selen as much as they should have.

Yes, terminations are looked at a lot less positively than graduations. But to only do the bare minimum of acknowledging Selen's achievements with the company??

"Since becoming a part of NIJISANJI EN in July 2021, Selen Tatsuki has undeniably played a significant part in the growth of NIJISANJI EN. We fully understand that our decision to terminate the contract will have a significant impact on Selen Tatsuki's fans and supporters of NIJISANJI EN."

That's it. That's the only positive thing they had to say about her in the whole 3 page document.

She has hosted multiple tournaments, introduced the company to VR chat entertainment with AR Live events, commissioned lofi covers of all the Nijisanji EN Debut songs, connected bridges from other top vtuber agencies that seemed impossible, and is overall a fun entertainer with an infectious laugh and smile.

The fact that all she has done for the company is just summed up in 1-2 sentences is unforgivable.

And again, I understand that this is a termination, not a graduation. Terminations are for firing "problematic" people, not honoring their accomplishments. But only two sentences that vaguely acknowledge she made an impact as Nijisanji EN grew?

She deserves so much better than that.

While this does not cover everything that she has done for her community, especially as of recent, I recommend watching The Selen Tatsuki Experience, made for her 2021 birthday by devoted fans and clippers.

And here is a fan project for her birthday in 2022 showcasing the Top 15 Selen Tatsuki Streams.

While these are the videos that first come to my mind, there's so much Selen content out in the wild, even if her channel has been wiped by Nijisanji EN. So many memories, clips, fun experiences, and moments that will never be forgotten by her community and beyond.

If you have any you want to add to this, feel free to do so. I know the Dragoons can say so much more about her than I ever can, and I'm ashamed that I don't have more moments to add.

No matter where she goes or what she does, Selen will always have the support from every person she touched and inspired.

But it's time we thank Selen for all that she brought us and say goodbye.

Because now that this part of her life is over, it's time to move on to newer pastures and new beginnings. Because that is what Selen would want.

Or rather, it is what Dokibird wants.

Dokibird - YouTube Channel

dokibird - Twitch Channel

@dokibird - Twitter account

dokidoggu - Etsy

Final Thoughts

As I read back through everything I wrote, (which holy shit, it is a lot more than I expected; I think I really just needed to get this out of my system more than anything else), the more it makes me realize that Selen is not alone.

She never will be alone again. But I mean it a bit differently.

Selen is not the only one who has lived through corporate mismanagement. Far from it. Following her situation had made me realize just how similar my situation is to hers.

Following management that does not care about the employees enough to set them up for success. The depression that follows where you feel like you're gasping for air trying to make it through every day. Staying in bed late because waking up and going to a toxic work environment is too much.

This isn't a blanket statement of "all corporate companies are bad." That was never the point of this post. And, there are plenty of good corporations who will work with their employees and look out for their well-being. Even other corporate vtuber agencies do this!

However, I think it goes to show that corporate mismanagement can easily torture someone who feels trapped by decisions out of their control.

You can blame the employee all you want by saying "It's a corporate company! You should know that you have to follow the rules even if you disagree with them." But it isn't always that easy.

Sometimes, rules change. And once you are a part of a company, it isn't always easy to just quit and move on. Some people can't afford to do that.

I wish I had some kind of lesson I could leave behind related to all of this. Something like "Watch Out For These Warning Signs Of Mismanagement!"

But, I'm still working for a corporate company as my day job. I can't really leave until I find a new job or get fired.

So what can I tell you?

Selen's situation has motivated me to work harder to find a better work environment.

I've worked for this corporate company for a while now. It started as something I enjoyed because I was given more creativity and feedback on projects than previous positions. But it's not like that anymore.

No job is worth giving your life over.

And if Nijisanji EN management doesn't realize how messed up it can be working for them, and aren't willing to change for the good of their talents... they aren't worth a single cent.

Your happiness > Your job

If you managed to make it through all +3,000 words of ranting, I hope you find your own happiness. Thank you for taking the time to read all the way through.

I wish Dokibird nothing but the best as she kicks off this new chapter in her story.

As for Nijisanji EN, I hope they learned their lesson. If they keep their management the way it is, there will be more instances like this to the point where eventually no one will want to work with them anymore.

I have stayed up till 2am writing so I could say all I wanted to say. I should get at least 5 hours of rest before I have to wake up and go to my corporate IRL job. Hopefully, this year I'll be able to move on to a more promising environment in the not too distant future.

Thank you once again for reading, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day! 💜

[blackbirdffxiv]

Look imma rant a second: this is why I hate queueing up with random people (but I also don't like using NPCs as a DPS because it sucks).

For further context, MY NAME is blocked out in the blue block, but I blurred everyone elses, while leaving the numbers showing to indicate who is speaking. Other DPS is marked with the (4), the healer a (3)

I just ran a quick dungeon so I could get arcanist to 30 so I could finally just unlock SCH and make my leveling journey on my alt easier. I had a queue for Thousand Maws.

We got a newbie tank, never tanked before, an astro, and a dragoon. Tank was not even level 30 yet, dragoon was dragooning, and the astro from another DC. Tank and dragoon? Wonderful, did their job; run was a bit slow but I was expecting it the second they said "hey there new to tanking".

I was fully prepared to be a minute or two longer.

The astro though? Kept running ahead, and not even pulling mobs, were just STANDING THERE. Not DPSing, not healing, legit just running ahead to stand there, as if they were waiting for the rest of us to hurry up and get to them.

And then when called out on their laziness, whined about me "pointlessly healing for them" when they weren't even healing to begin with.

If you queue as a healer? Then heal. Do your job. If you want fast dungeon runs? Queue with friends next time.

Don't make your impatience everyone else's problem.