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tabloidtoc · 4 years ago

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National Enquirer, May 10

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Prince Charles orders Prince Harry to divorce Meghan Markle

Page 2: In a sniveling fit of pique, scorned Alex Rodriguez has trashed former fiancee Jennifer Lopez as a dud in the sack and A-Rod is moaning J. Lo drove him to chase excitement elsewhere because she couldn't keep up with his sex demands and Alex is defending his piggish behavior by saying Jennifer pushed him into it and their spark died long ago, and they were barely intimate for the best part of a year before calling it quits -- Jennifer would pack on the PDA for the cameras, but the moment they were in private she pushed Alex away and even made him sleep in a separate bedroom and he says it was like dating an ice queen and pities the next guy she ropes in -- Jennifer thought she and Alex had a pretty good connection during their happier times, even though she'd likely admit things really petered out toward the end when the lack of trust set in so it will sting her that he's trashing her skills in the bedroom

Page 4: Robert De Niro is getting pummeled by estranged wife Grace Hightower's free-spending ways and his bitter spouse is intent on taking the aging legend for every penny as their nasty divorce drags on -- Robert's lawyers argued in court that greedy Grace's extravagant lifestyle has forced him to take every job he can snag, causing the 77-year-old to toil 12-hour days, six days a week and what's more, Robert's Nobu restaurant business has hit hard times and his tax bills to Uncle Sam are piling up but he is reportedly worth a whopping $500 million, and Grace's lawyers have countered he's pleading poverty but regularly charters a helicopter to Sunday brunch, a charge denied by his lawyer and her attorneys also claimed Robert frequently flies to Florida on a private plane and spends millions and millions on himself -- meanwhile, Robert's relationship with 66-year-old Grace has taken such a nosedive, she's spending frivolously just to punish him and she's walked into a shop a spent $80,000 in 15 minutes and she will go on vacations to the Bahamas, stop at the duty-free store and pay four times the price of what things usually cost and she has more wigs than Imelda Marcos had shoes -- Robert met Grace in 1987 when she was working as a waitress in London, and they married a decade later but they split in 1999 then reconciled and renewed their vows in 2004 before finally calling it quits in 2018 -- De Niro has forked over as much as $375,000 a month to his spouse since their split and the financially squeezed star may resort to doing product endorsements just to pay the bills -- under the terms of the couple's prenuptial agreement, once Grace and Robert are finally divorced, she's allowed a $6 million home, $500,000 cash and $1 million in annual alimony, but her lawyers have argued she should be entitled to half his fortune

* Nearly two years after Hayden Panettiere accused ex-boyfriend Brian Hickerson of brutally attacking her, the bully was sentenced to serve time in Los Angeles after he pleaded no contest to two felony counts of injuring a spouse or girlfriend, and the remaining charges of battery, assault with a deadly weapon and dissuading a witness were dismissed and he was hit with 45 days behind bars and four years' probation but he'll get credit for 12 days served -- he's done his own damage and will pay a permanent price for it -- meanwhile, Hayden is now in a great place in her life

Page 5: Danny Masterson has dragged Leah Remini into his rape case, claiming her docuseries Scientology and Its Aftermath influenced his alleged victims to file police reports against him -- former Scientologist Leah offered the women inducements and benefits to report Masterson to cops, his lawyer Tom Mesereau told a L.A. criminal court -- Danny, a 45-year-old Scientologist and That '70s Show alum, has pleaded not guilty to charges he raped three women in separate incidents between 2001 and 2003 -- Mesereau also called an LAPD detective who worked a second job as security for Leah a double agent and questioned how a 2000 police report made by one alleged victim went missing, but Deputy District Attorney Reinhold Mueller dismissed Mesereau's double agent claims as hyperbole and said the defense got a copy of the missing report and Mesereau's request to push back Masterson's preliminary hearing, a Scientology delay tactic, was also rejected

Page 6: Kelly Osbourne's shocking relapse after nearly four years of sobriety occurred amid intense family drama for the former reality show clan -- Kelly's mom Sharon Osbourne's exit from The Talk amid racism claims by co-hosts and dad Ozzy Osbourne's struggles with crippling Parkinson's disease and excruciating nerve damage frazzled her and she confessed she relapsed and she's not proud of it, but she's back on track and she's truly learned that it is just one day at a time -- her parents' problems weighed heavily on 36-year-old Kelly, who first struggled with substance abuse in her teens, and there's no doubt her mother's scandalous exit from The Talk played a big role as Kelly was crushed over the beating Sharon took in the press and retired rocker Ozzy's relentless suffering also pains Kelly and throw in brother Jack Osbourne's progressive MS and she's dealing with a lot

Page 7: Distressed Dolly Parton is ready to stage an all-star country intervention for her party-hearty goddaughter Miley Cyrus after recent photos of the troubled wild child swilling booze triggered alarm bells for Miley's family members and inner circle, including Dolly who has acted as a mentor to Miley and Dolly has always fussed over Miley like a mother hen and she's worried Miley is going to throw away her career and her life -- 75-year-old Dolly is so concerned about 28-year-old Miley that she's talked about reaching out to other country icons to arrange a meeting with the former Disney child star and help her consider her options and Dolly wants to enlist women she knows Miley truly admires, like Reba McEntire and Loretta Lynn, and organize a sit-down and Dolly knows if Miley hears from legends who achieved so much in the music industry, she's likely to understand any mistakes she makes now can affect her life forever -- every time Dolly thinks Miley's got her demons beat, she hears of another slip-up, so she feels like it's time to take action and Miley's parents Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Cyrus, who are good pals of Dolly, are thankful for Dolly's concern because Billy Ray and Tish have tried talking to Miley, but she tunes her parents out and they agree their daughter is more likely to respond to Dolly and her legendary friends

* Angelina Jolie blamed her ugly divorce with Brad Pitt for dashing her dreams to direct movies -- she and Brad split in 2016 and the two have been locked in a mudslinging legal slugfest ever since -- Angie says she love directing, but she had a change in her family situation that's not made it possible for her to direct for a few years and Angie, who last directed 2017's First They Killed My Father, said she needed to just do shorter jobs and be home more, so she kind of went back to doing a few acting jobs

Page 8: Shamed sleaze Matt Lauer has been snubbed by his old Hamptons crowd, and it's got the scandal-scarred scumbag down in the dumps and the super-rich who live and socialize in the fashionable high-society playground won't forget how Lauer was axed from his longtime Today gig over bombshell allegations of sexual misconduct and Matt's done everything he can to regain his place in the community, from hanging out in the village to splashing money around and tipping too well and he's convinced he can make a comeback, but snooty residents turn their noses up and it must be difficult for him because it's tough for anyone who wants to get in with this crowd but for Matt it's become almost impossible -- with scandal raging, Lauer's marriage to Annette Roque collapsed and they divorced in 2019 after a two-year separation and they share three children, daughter Romy, 17, and sons Jack, 19, and Thijs, 14, and Lauer has denied any wrongdoing and insisted his reputation was wrongly smeared in a media feeding frenzy intent on destroying him -- after his divorce, Matt hooked up with public relations guru Shamin Abas and the two have reportedly been pals for years and were first linked when Matt took her to his New Zealand home in December 2019 and Matt's friends are saying he's talking about a big Hamptons wedding when he and Shamin make things official, but it would be a failure if no one attends but Shamin has a lot of connections, so maybe that will help in time -- Matt's obviously an embarrassment in the area and he's not getting much joy at the swanky country clubs he likes to frequent either and it's clear to see that doors from many A-listers, like Martha Stewart, Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson, who have had ample time to put out the welcome mat and Matt won't be getting invites to their homes anytime soon

Page 9: Kourtney Kardashian is packing on the PDA with new boyfriend Travis Barker and insiders said her desperate bid to compete with her sisters has gone way over the top and ever since Kourtney and Travis first went public, the oldest Kardashian sibling has made it a point to post the couple's passionate romps in racy pics and videos on social media and people in her circle feel it's beneath her to advertise her personal moments like this and even her family thinks it's unflattering, but she's getting a kick out of showing off her wild side and Kourtney has been desperate to raise her profile to keep up with internet-savvy sisters Kim Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian, who promote themselves by posting incessantly and Kourtney was always more low-key, but now she thinks she needs to be outrageous to keep up but her friends and family say it's not who she is, and she should put a lid on the steam

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Alison Brie helped tend to newly planted trees in Malibu, Chris Rock tuned out the world with a set of headphones while walking in Miami, Dylan McDermott plays a bad guy on Law & Order: Organized Crime, Dancing with the Stars pro Sasha Farber buzzed around L.A. on an electric bike, Margot Robbie skating in Malibu

Page 11: Paula Abdul is filling in for Luke Bryan on American Idol, but she's gone crazy with fillers and Botox to the point where she can barely move her face -- 58-year-old Paula, one of the show's original three judges who left before the ninth season, jumped at the chance after Luke tested positive for COVID-19, but when she showed up for work, she was far from the familiar face everyone was expecting and she must have given her co-hosts quite a fright because her face is blown up like a balloon and her forehead has no lines and her eyes have no crinkling at the corners that you would normally expect on someone who's pushing 60 and people are saying she never did know when to quit and this time she's really gone overboard and it was a shame, since it's no secret she'd love to make a comeback on the show and she's still in fantastic shape, but it's kind of sad to see her fall victim to these Hollywood trends as she's a lovely lady and should leave well enough alone -- her heart-shaped face may predispose her to a slower aging process than longer facial shapes

* Jessica Simpson has plumped up her kisser, but one expert thinks her new inflated piehole would look better on a fish because she's gone overboard with filler in her lips and the end result is an unnatural and very unattractive look because the M-shape of the middle upper lip is distorted, creating a fishy appearance she surely wasn't going for

Page 12: Straight Shuter gossip column -- James Bond will be gunning for Top Gun: Maverick on movie screens in November, and Tom Cruise isn't happy -- moving the Top Gun sequel from July to November has left Tom shaken and stirred and no one is more competitive than Tom and going up against the new 007 film starring Daniel Craig has put the fear of God into him because Tom likes to win and coming in second is not an option so get ready for an all-out box office war between Tom and James Bond and this is going to get ugly

* Just out-of-the-closet Colton Underwood has been invited back to his old stomping grounds on The Bachelor but he won't be the new Gay Bachelor, but there's been talk about him returning to help contestants through the process -- he'll literally play the gay best friend who helps the straight contestants find love

* Bridgerton stud Rege-Jean Page won't be back for season 2, but crossing the show's powerful producer Shonda Rhimes was not smart because Shonda is not used to being told no, especially by an actor no one had heard of before she cast him -- Rege-Jean was naive about the business of Hollywood, but he's learning fast but saying no to Shonda is a move he's now thinking twice about

* Irina Shayk had her hands full during a photo shoot in NYC (picture)

Page 13: Racy reality series The Bachelorette has so disgusted some American viewers, they've flooded the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) with complaints and calls to yank the sexy show from TV -- according to documents, a season 16 dodgeball game that turned into a stripping competition among Clare Crawley's suitors in 2020 especially fueled viewers' rage, even though the aired footage was blacked out to protect the men's privates but the game was not over until one team was fully naked

* Matchmaker Olivia Newton-John is itching to play Cupid for longtime pal John Travolta as her Grease co-star approaches the one-year anniversary of the death of his beloved wife Kelly Preston and Oliva would like nothing more than to bring some joy and happiness back into John's life and she has lots of beautiful, fun-filled lady friends from the U.S. and Australia she could set John up with but he may not be ready for a new romance, and John himself has admitted mourning is individual and experiencing your own journey is what can lead to healing and John still hasn't gotten over Kelly's death yet and it feels like yesterday to him

Page 15: Tiger Woods' former mistress Jamie Jungers is dishing about her doomed 18-month affair with the then-married golf great and the fallout that triggered her harrowing spiral into drug addiction in a juicy new tell-all -- Jamie, 38, said she met the skirt-chasing links legend, now recovering from a shattered right leg after a February car crash, during her stint as a party host in Sin City and she claimed they kicked off a fling behind the back of his wife Elin Nordegren and Tiger would often fly his new squeeze to his L.A. home for their secret trysts and Jamie said she even once signed for a package at the newlyweds' pad that turned out to be wedding photos of Tiger and his bride, who divorced the sex addict in 2010 -- but it was not too hard for Jamie to convince herself the couple's marriage was on the skids because Elin spent so much time in her native Sweden and Jamie confessed she loved Tiger in a way but knew they'd never have a real relationship -- things came to a screeching halt when the tightwad millionaire refused to help her find new digs and Jamie kept her lips zipped about the hush-hush affair for three years, but she claimed her ensuing media appearances, in which she was dubbed Mistress No. 4, left her feeling humiliated, triggering a $500 a day pill habit that led to her getting hooked on heroin and meth and homeless Jamie endured failed stints in rehab, went through detox while behind bars and hit rock bottom before getting clean in 2018 and now sober, she said of her former flame she's not in love with him anymore

Page 16: Picky parents Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin have found one thing that's even tougher than raising six kids: finding the right nanny -- Alec and Hilaria have high expectations for prospective carers and exacting demands when it comes to their duties and Hilaria is so involved with the kids, so she's especially vigilant and has the final say when it comes to hiring and firing though Alec definitely has his checklist on what makes a good nanny and try as they might, they realize they can't do everything themselves and need help, lots of it, but it's been a logistical nightmare getting a team of nannies organized as Alec and Hilaria are tough on them and firm and long hours and multitasking are a must and of course they must be quick on their toes and know what to do with a cranky set of children without losing their cool and a good disposition, a clean and tidy appearance and the ability to step in last minute when needed are all prerequisites to be a Baldwin nanny -- Hilaria and Alec feel guilty about using more help than they initially thought they'd need and typically have at least two nannies on duty and they're doing their best to keep their home from becoming a nuthouse and stay sane and even when Hilaria and Alec are both home at the same time, they still need help changing diapers and doing endless loads of laundry, preparing meals and snacks and assisting homeschooling for the older ones and making sure they all get plenty of exercise and playtime -- it's been a challenge and they won't settle for anything but the most skilled nannies, and their friends can see the efforts are paying off

Page 17: Britney Spears has taken to social media to insist she's OK, but there are increasing concerns over the singer's state of mind -- Britney, 39, has shared bizarre Instagram posts showing her maniacally dancing and also bellyached that she's trying to learn how to use technology in this technology-driven generation, but to be totally honest she can't stand it -- the wacky videos followed the documentary Framing Britney Spears, which cast an unflattering spotlight on her troubled history amid her fight to have her conservator dad Jamie Spears removed from overseeing her personal and financial affairs and Britney, who has not had control over her own cash or major life decisions since her notorious 2008 breakdown, said the documentary's portrayal embarrassed her and brought her to tears and she cried for two weeks -- still, Britney reassured fans she's totally fine and she's extremely happy, she has a beautiful home, beautiful children, referring to her sons Sean, 15, and Jayden, 14, and although Britney, who's been coupled up with 27-year-old personal trainer Sam Asghari since 2016, insisted she's enjoying herself, she was caught on camera in Malibu appearing out of sorts and she looked a total mess and she looked like she hadn't brushed her hair in days and the truth is she's wracked with anxiety and she doesn't trust anyone in her orbit except her boyfriend

Page 18: American Life -- Like many dads, J.B. Handley couldn't understand his teenage son, but in this case, 18-year-old Jamison Handley is autistic and has not spoken a word since he was born -- using a breakthrough strategy called Spelling to Communicate (STC), J.B. discovered his son was hyper-intelligent and now Jamison is graduating from high school and will go to college to study neuroscience in 2022

Page 19: Newly single Kanye West is in the market for someone to cuddle with now that Kim Kardashian is out of the picture and the National Enquirer has decided to help him in his quest: Amanda Gorman, Bjork, Quay Dash, Marina Abramovic, Maria Cristerna

* While Kanye West is looking for a new lady to be his creative muse, his estranged wife Kim Kardashian sees the dating pool as the source of her next career move -- Kim has not been romantically linked to anyone since she filed for divorce in February and she's not dating anyone because, if she were, it would be a career move and Kim can't date quietly; she doesn't even understand what that would be like

Page 22: Katie Holmes and her boytoy beau Emilio Vitolo Jr. haven't been photographed together in more than a month, leaving people to wonder if the once snap-happy couple's romance is cooling off -- after being constantly caught on camera packing on the PDAs, the coosome twosome's vanishing act has sources suspecting work stress is taking a toll -- they're still together but things aren't anything like they were, and Katie seems pretty down and Emilio has been working long hours at his dad's restaurant, which was hit hard during the pandemic and that's meant less time for him and Katie to hang out and their romance may have gone from full boil to simmer

* Hollywood Hookups -- Danica Patrick and Carter Comstock dating, Zac Efron and Vanessa Valladares split, Madison LeCroy is dating a mystery man

Page 23: Lizzo stripped nude on social media for an unedited selfie to promote body positivity in all its glory and the 32-year-old defied the haters by bravely going makeup-free and wearing only her birthday suit -- she said she's letting it all hang out to encourage girls struggling with their self-image and self-confidence to embrace their natural beauty

* Bethenny Frankel plans to spend a whopping $10 million on her upcoming wedding -- she is set to wed Paul Bernon after she was spotted flashing a ginormous sparkler reportedly worth over $400,000 and movie producer Paul, 43, has given Bethenny, 50, carte blanche to spend whatever she wants so she's thinking 50,000 roses, champagne, gilt-edged glasses, a garden setting with fountains, dancers and a choir and Bethenny wants it to be perfect and she expects the best of everything

* Julianna Margulies has admitted things were hot on the set of ER, and it was because she and co-star George Clooney had a crush on each other and the chemistry on the beloved TV series between Julianna, now 54, and George, 60, was organic, she gushed in her upcoming memoir -- she also said when you create an environment that people feel safe in, then you do your best work and George taught her that and she felt so safe with him

Page 25: Troubled Tori Spelling is convinced having a sixth baby is the only way to bring her rocky 15-year marriage to Dean McDermott back from the brink -- Tori, 47, and Dean, 54, have been living separate lives for months and she has frequently been seen in public without her wedding ring and lately they've been more like brother and sister than husband and wife, but Tori is under the impression that another baby will give them a fresh start -- Dean has tried to repair their romance by taking on more dad duties and he even pushed for a recent family getaway to Palm Springs, where Tori socked her husband with the ultimatum to give her another baby or hit the highway and it's true they got along a lot happier when she was pregnant, but a lot of people think she's being delusional since they still have a lot of issues to work through and having another kid isn't going to be a magic fix and in fact, it may even add to their problems

Page 26: Cover Story -- Prince Harry's desperate bid to make peace with his estranged royal family exploded spectacularly when his father Prince Charles gave him an ultimatum to divorce Meghan Markle or you're out forever -- the secret showdown came after the funeral for his grandfather Prince Philip that forced family members to reunite for the first time following a year of bitterness and shocking allegations and any hope Harry had of mending fences and being welcomed back went out the window when he broke Queen Elizabeth's heart by snubbing her 95th birthday right after the funeral because he flew back to California the day before her birthday and it was the last straw for Charles, who was furious and he was stunned his son couldn't wait just 24 hours more to show respect for his grandmother and felt compelled to rush back to his pregnant wife Meghan and it would have meant so much for Her Majesty, who was still mourning her husband and needs all the comfort she can get but instead Harry headed back to his ritzy $14 mansion and Hollywood lifestyle, callously leaving his grieving grandmother on what should have been her big day -- the word is Meghan ordered him back as he'd been gone 10 days, their longest separation since they wed, and she didn't want his family playing mind tricks on him, trying to convince him he should return to the U.K. -- Charles confronted his younger son about snubbing Her Majesty during a phone call from his country getaway in Wales, where Charles was grieving his father Prince Philip and considering the future of the monarchy and Charles didn't mince words and he called Harry selfish and blamed Meghan for ripping the family apart and he bluntly admitted he and other royals, including the queen herself, were deeply disappointed and very angry by what the couple said in an explosive tell-all TV special and he couldn't believe Harry would agree to such a devastating interview without pressure from his publicity-obsessed wife or her advisors and Charles told Harry he was ashamed of him for turning his back on his family and breaking his grandmother's heart and Charles said he didn't believe Harry's marriage can survive long-term and suggested that Meghan was so ambitious, she'd dump Harry when something, or someone, better came along then he shockingly told his son he would only be welcomed back if he divorced that American actress and Charles insisted divorce was the only way to save the royal family and Harry himself -- Harry faced a great deal of frostiness from other members of the family after he arrived for Philip's funeral: Princess Anne, Prince Edward, his wife Sophie and other relatives didn't even look at Harry, they are so angry with him and Meghan, and Prince William and his wife Duchess Kate tried to put on a united front, speaking to Harry as they walked away from the service, but it was all for show as the queen had ordered a truce in the feud to avoid another public scandal, but family feelings are running very deep against Harry and Meghan for quitting royal duties and trashing the royals in their interview and the truth is if Harry doesn't divorce Meghan, this rift will never be mended

Page 36: Ellen DeGeneres confessed she'd swilled three cannabis-laced drinks and popped two snooze-inducing pills before driving wife Portia de Rossi to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy -- during an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, Ellen said she'd downed a commercial beverage containing the weed compounds THC and CBD and admitted she didn't feel anything and then she drank three, and she also took two melatonin sleep pills and she's lying in bed and realizes Portia is not in bed -- after finding Portia on all fours and in pain, Ellen claimed her adrenaline kicked in and she rushed Portia to the hospital

Page 38: Gwyneth Paltrow knows at least one person who is not a fan of her catalog of sex toys: her mom Blythe Danner -- while Gwynnie loves to bang the drum for frisky female fun by hawking vibrators, whips, handcuffs, genital-themed jewelry and even a candle called This Smells Like My Orgasm, her 78-year-old mother is always shocked by her raunchy online inventory and is very proper, but Gwyneth said even proper ladies have sexuality too -- although her mom is not lining up to purchase the BDSM starter kit or the $15,000 gold-plated dildo, Gwyneth remains committed to tackling taboos related to female pleasure, saying she thinks that our sexuality is such an important part of who we are and one of the things they really believe in at Goop is eliminating shame from these topics

* The Entourage crew might get back together, with Charlie Sheen joining the gang -- the creator of the bro show and 2015 spinoff movie said he may bring the boys back with his buddy Charlie in the reboot and Doug Elin says whether he would ever be in Entourage as Charlie Sheen or whether he would create a character for him, he would be all for it -- Charlie hasn't been seen on the big screen since a 2018 guest spot on Saturday Night Live

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Sofia Vergara

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

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(Wo)men in Glass Houses (Branjie) - Pinkgrapefruit

A/N - now my yearly october to january hibernation is over, have a fanfiction. read by ortega and jaz and quite frankly neither of them found anything glaringly wrong with it so… enjoy lads. i swear i’ll post something of more substance soon.

I’ve been sleeping late

And if I’m speaking honestly

My dreams are the only place

The thought of you can’t bother me

Vanessa is on her back - eyes piercing holes in the ceiling. It’s white, as most ceilings are, wood chipped and bumpy. There’s a coffee-coloured stain that jeeps drawing her eyes but she’s too scared to ask how it got there. If she’s honest, she doesn’t want to know.

Her bedmate is still fast asleep or is at least doing a good job of pretending, and it’s giving Vanessa too much time to think. Her immediate thought - the one that breaks through the carefully constructed walls at the edge of her mind - is how she wishes she wasn’t awake at all. She wants to be asleep again, running through the fields of spring flowers near her childhood home in Yorkshire, blissfully unaware of the mistake sleeping next to her.

She loathes to call Brooke a mistake - but there aren’t any other words.

The covers are soft between her fingertips and her pillow smells of eucalyptus and mint and it brings her back to her train of thought. They were never meant to happen. It’s simple really, the relationship was never meant to happen. They’re a square peg in a round hole who’s too ashamed to admit it and is therefore trying to pretend it doesn’t have any corners at all and the point is - they don’t fit.

Coffee and cheese. Milk and sriracha. Piers Morgan and drag queens. No entiendo por favor.

(She truly does not understand).

They’ve been trying to change each other and like an elastic band, Vanessa just wants to snap back to how she was. She enjoyed her lazy Sundays with Riley, drowning last nights hangover in coffee just long enough to make it to brunch with Kiki and Silky. She misses her half-hearted gym sessions where she’d piss about with resistance bands and yoga balls in the studio off the side before actually doing some hip hop dancing and calling it a night. She hasn’t seen a shitty action film in months and, dare she say it, she misses bad nacho cheese.

She’s not the only one whos made ill-fated sacrifices - she can admit that - Brooke hasn’t been working late, misses her morning runs most days and only drinks chamomile when Vanessa isn’t at her house because the brunette says it smells like old people.

Drink your old people tea, Vanessa thinks in a more scathing tone than she would dare say out loud because it’s before six am and she’s in a worse mood than she thought. She looks at Brooke - her blonde hair splayed on the pillow like a halo. Fucking drink it.

And when I’m wide awake

It takes all of my energy

To tell our friends we’ve never been this happy

The thing about breakups - is if you know they’re coming, you can watch them in slow motion like a train crash.

A’keria has been watching this one for months.

It’s the sort of ‘watch and wait’ scenario that leaves her grabbing the popcorn and tucking herself into the sofa with a blanket her nan crocheted and she’s not mad about it.

So she watches the relationship go up in flames and wonders how either of them thought it would be a good idea to act on the sexual tension that’s been threading around them for years and she privately thinks that maybe she should have just set Vanessa up with her sister to save the trouble.

Because climate change has moved faster than these idiots.

Waiting for the glass house to come down

Waiting to hear that crashing sound

Waiting for the right words to tell you how

I don’t wanna be false art

They move around each other in their perfectly choreographed morning routine - not a word is spoken but they are both fed, watered and ready to go when they need to begin their walk to the office.

Their fingers are intertwined but it’s more of a perfunctory gesture than it used to be. Vanessa grabs Brooke’s hand somewhere between the offices for Walkers and Harveys. She always does.

With Brooke in a maxi dress, she looks more like a model than a lawyer and it allows Vanessa to exercise her possessive streak when a builder catcalls. They kiss bruisingly in the disabled stall before they head to their respective offices - frustrated before 9 am.

When A’keria asks how Vanessa is doing - she lifts the edge of her shirt to show the hickey embedded into her hip.

I’ve been making shit up

But I’ll come clean

I finish in the bathroom

While you fall asleep without me

Brooke stays in the bathroom after sex.

She washes herself slowly and thoroughly, as though any hint of mint shampoo left on her body would be a sin. (Brooke’s shampoo is lemon because she refuses to make her hair smell like toothpaste).

She cannot deal with post-coital cuddling today - the image of another person in her bed just too much to accept in the waning light of day. So she performs her nighttime routine twice to make sure that the summer sun has set entirely by the time she is back in the bedroom. It allows her to slide under the covers in the dark and pretend she is alone - if not for the steady exhales of Vanessa.

She is not right for Vanessa.

The brunette deserves romance and wooing and all Brooke can give is detached sex in bathrooms and bitter black coffee.

There are things she needs to unpack. A box of memories in her wardrobe that will sting more, the longer she leaves them hidden away.

She cannot love herself with enough fervour to love Vanessa.

They both know it.

So she suckles bruises onto her collarbone and calls it adoration.

And our friends they say they want this

But they don’t see

That it’s inevitable

And inevitably

“God, I want what you two have. It’s practically a romcom - friends to lovers.”

It’s harmless, just Courtney simpering as she heads towards the bar set up on the corner of the room but it makes Vanessa dig her nails into her palms so hard she worries she might break the skin.

Brooke sidles up to her - cold lithe fingers wrapping around her waist as she leans down to whisper in Vanessa’s ear.

“Bathroom, five minutes,” she whispers and then she’s gone.

Vanessa marvels at the way people interpret things they don’t understand. To most people - the blush that’s threatening to flutter across the apples of her cheeks is in response to a declaration of love, or a flirtation between sweethearts.

They can never know the detached but furious way Brooke will make Vanessa come undone while the brunette is leaning against the sink - faucet poking into the small of her back. The way she will nip red marks into the flesh of her inner thigh and then later into her bottom lip - Vanessa’s tongue carrying out its own assault on Brooke’s mouth.

For all the ways the forced romance has ruined them - the sexual tension is as thick as the day they first met.

The glasshouse to come down

Just waiting to hear that crashing sound

Waiting for the right words to tell you how

I don’t wanna be false art

Like a fairytale - their eyes met across a crowded room and that was it.

That is, of course, a lie - but it’s how they tell it.

In reality, Brooke had just moved to London from Devon and she’s booked an interview at the firm Vanessa worked HR for. Vanessa took her paperwork, A’keria noticed the spark, Brooke got the job.

They mistook sexual chemistry for romance and by the time they’d figured it out they were four months into a relationship of convenience.

Vanessa has always thought that friends with benefits was a ridiculous arrangement but men in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones and isn’t this just the kind of relationship she always scorned.

Acquaintances that share bodily fluids, a bed and invites to dinner. Someone to share secrets with and hold hands on the way to work. Someone to watch sleep in the early hours of the morning and cuddle you when you’re drunk and lonely.

Vanessa is, too often, drunk and lonely.

It’s a habit she intends to break.

Pretend we’re picture perfect

When we’re breaking beneath the surface

I don’t wanna be false art

They break up on a Sunday and finally, Vanessa can agree it’s a day of peace.

It can hardly be considered a breakup from her perspective - the only emotions left to untangle are Vanessa’s towards Brooke’s cats. It’s cold, clean and incredibly reminiscent of Brooke herself - cold, clean, perfect.

Icy.

In a twenty minute sweep of her apartment - every hint of the tall blonde is gone.

Make love like we deserve it

To cover up what’s hurting

I don’t wanna be false art

She makes a cup of coffee, inhaling the scent that reminds her so vividly of university and youth, and drinks it by her window. She plays her music loud.

She refuses to have any regrets.

I don’t wanna be false art

#rpdr fanfiction #pinkgrapefruit #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #akeria davenport #angst #song fic #lesbian au #(wo)men in glass houses #barest hints of smut if you call talking about hickeys smut #look im not here to cheer you up #my triumphant return is a songfic about branjie being unhappy #its like i never left #thanks V (you’re a legend)#concrit welcome #(how I've missed you and your tags...xoxo -v)#submission

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hms-chill · 5 years ago

Text

Everything’s Bigger

Epilogue

The next year goes in stages.

First, there's physical therapy, a stage of tears and frustration. Henry's there for every appointment, learning how he can help and doing whatever he can to comfort Alex. He starts holding Skype calls at all hours to avoid crossing an ocean while his boyfriend is healing, and he manages to stay in New York, helping Alex move his arm and making sure he doesn't push too hard. There are days when Alex can't move his arm at all without tears, and Henry is there to help him go as far as he can and to cuddle him afterwards. Those days are replaced by days where they're pushing to get the arm to shoulder height, and when Alex can consistently get it that high, they get ice cream. Alex complains that it's a stupid milestone to celebrate, but Henry won't hear it. They celebrate every little milestone until the end of Alex's physical therapy, when Henry treats him to a nice dinner out, and Alex thanks him for being there through everything with a home cooked meal the next night.

Next, there's what Henry privately dubs the babysitting stage. It's the period between the sling coming off at the end of physical therapy and Alex being declared fully better, when Henry's job shifts from managing a charity to managing his tornado of a boyfriend, making sure Alex doesn't re-fracture his shoulder. Alex seems to believe he's fully healed the moment the sling comes off. He insists that he's totally capable of carrying an absurdly heavy backpack all day until he comes home with it slung over his good shoulder and can barely put it on the next day. Then he promises that it doesn't bother him with donors and congresspeople and senators pat his bad shoulder, until Henry presses a kiss to it that night and even that light of a touch nearly reduces him to tears. It's a terrifying few weeks of ice packs and massages, of worried check ups and ibuprofen before Henry helps him figure out what he can actually do, what he can do if he's not doing anything the next day, and when he needs to wear the sling to make sure other people leave him alone. The bad days get less and less frequent, though, and eventually, they get an all clear from his doctor. They celebrate with a movie night at the Brooklyn youth shelter, cuddled up and surrounded by kids they've helped together.

The clean bill of health is followed by weeks apart. Almost as soon as Alex is deemed medically healthy, Henry is whisked back across the ocean to take care of all the things he's been putting off while Alex healed. It's debatably the hardest part of the year, when he's worried about Alex's shoulder and mental health and there's nothing he can do. Eventually, Christmas comes. Henry has a big Christmas Eve dinner with his whole family in London, a Christmas brunch with his mom and Bea, and he and Shaan are on a plane headed for DC long before his grandmother starts her speech.

Alex and Zahra meet them at the airport, and Henry can hug Alex as hard as he wants, and Alex can hug back just as hard, and that in itself feels like a Christmas miracle. Alex shoves a mess of a Christmas jumper over Henry's head, and Henry laughs, overjoyed to be back together. Christmas with Alex's family is civil, and Henry sticks around after to help finalize plans for the Young Americans Gala. Pez and Bea fly over for the party, and though Henry does have to go back with them a few days later, he leaves with the confidence that Alex is doing okay. He'd spent far too much of the party bragging about how he'd saved James Bond's son, the prince of England, for Henry to be too worried.

It's just after Alex's birthday that the final phase of the year, the begging and planning, really starts. They're in bed together when Henry's fingers find the two puckered scars in Alex's shoulder, and he traces them gently, asking, "Alex, are you awake? What... have you thought at all about going back to Austin for pride this year?"

"That would be perfect."

And so, a little over two months later, Henry finds himself stepping off a plane into Alex's arms and the Texas summer heat. They're back. They're on a float again, but this time, it's not just them. Bea and June refused to let them go alone, and Nora and Pez refused to be left behind, so all six of them are here, piling into a van in a mess of rainbows and body glitter and Cash's sunscreen.

"You doing okay?" Henry asks Alex as they get a second, and Alex nods, rubbing his shoulder absently.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Great. We're back in Austin, and we get to go to pride with everyone; it's going to be great."

"It will be. We'll be okay, Alex. Promise."

Alex smiles, pulling Henry into a hug as they get downtown and the energy shifts. The parade meeting ground is hectic, but it's a contagiously electric energy, and Henry can feel the fear start to slowly drain out of them both. By the time they're on their float and moving, they're all a mess of massive grins and bigger cheers.

The parade itself is a blur, but a few things stand out. Henry sees two women with twin girls on their shoulders, one moving forward so her daughter can tip a drag queen. There are kids with pride flags painted on their faces showing their parents around, and there are queer people old enough to be their grandparents who get to celebrate like everyone else. But what stands out the most is the moment they approach the turn where everything fell apart last year. Alex tenses up a bit, and Henry moves closer to him on instinct. But then the others are there, too, crowding close as they turn the corner to see a sea of rainbow and be hit with a wall of cheers, accompanied by more sings than anywhere else on the route: "Austin strong, Austin proud!" "We love our first kids" "Alex I'm so f**king proud of you!" "Henry, Prince of my heart!"

Alex is crying as Henry hugs him, but he's laughing, too, and looking out over the crowd to be sure he doesn't miss a second of it. Henry sees Bea and June filming both sides of the street as Nora and Pez shout thank yous and throw pride flags into the crowd. Henry and Alex just soak it all in, holding each other and beaming into the crowd. Alex raises a fist, extending his pointer finger and pinky in a "hook 'em horns" salute, and Henry follows suit. The crowd cheers, mirroring them, and Alex whoops so loudly, Henry's sure it carries over to Louisiana just to spite anyone who might try to shut them up.

From the end of the parade route, it's a short walk to their last scheduled stop for the day. It's a gorgeous Victorian building in Central Austin, bought eleven months ago and newly renovated with the donations that flooded in after their catastrophe. They've got a ribbon cutting ceremony for the newest Okonjo Foundation youth shelter, located close to public transit and the University of Texas campus, and incredibly near and dear to both their hearts. They cut the ribbon together, each holding one handle of the oversized scissors and throwing the doors open together to welcome the staff inside. If it's anything like the other shelters, they'll have kids there by that night, and they'll most likely come back to welcome them in person.

Once the shelter's open, they and their friends get to just enjoy pride. They get sno cones and watch drag shows, and they meet up with Liam and Spencer for a bit, and really, it matters less what they do and more that they're doing it at all, surrounded by people who are celebrating their love.

Over dinner at Alex’s favorite Austin restaurant, they all curate instagram posts together. Henry has a few photos of himself and Alex at the ribbon cutting, captioned with a paragraph about how he's so proud of Alex, the foundation, and the city of Austin and how thankful he is to be able to be a part of something like this. Nora's got one of herself, June, and Pez, lipstick stains on both her cheeks, and Pez has one of the three of them sharing a massive rainbow sno cone and sticking out tongues dyed various different colors. June's post is a photo of herself and Alex, a caption about how she's infinitely proud of him and overjoyed to be celebrating in their hometown, and Bea has a similar post about Henry and how proud she is of him, accompanied by a photo of them together in front of the youth shelter.

Alex's post takes the longest, but eventually, he settles on a photo of himself and Henry from behind, "Hook 'em Horns" raised to an overjoyed crowd. It's followed by Bea's and June's videos of the crowd along that stretch and captioned, "a massive, Texas-sized thank you, Austin! Thank you for standing up to hate, and staying loud and proud, and for helping make a hard memory a million times better. Y'all have shown me and my family so much love, and I can't imagine a better city to come home to."

On AO3

Notes:

It's done! I did it! Now I need to do actual Real Life Work (research into queer history) (also job hunting) for like a week, but I've got a few requests to finish up once that's done! I should be back soon; my research is due the 6th :)

#firstprince #red white and royal blue #red white and royal blue fic #my fic: rwrb #rwrb fic #rwrb #henry fox mountchristen windsor x alex claremont diaz #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #bea fox mountchristen windsor #pez okonjo #june claremont diaz #nora holleran

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softspaceboibrian · 6 years ago

Text

One More Present (Ben Hardy x reader)

Request: Can you write a ben hardy one where its the readers birthday and she celebrates it on the bohrap set and they have a party and ben proposes to the reader? (@kellysimagines )

A/N: I hope you like it!! I tried my best (and got very cheesy at the end lol). let me know what you think! and for everyone else, remember, don't be afraid to send in you requests!!

Warnings: none, just super fluffy and cheesy

Wc: 2312

Being Ben’s girlfriend had definitely its perks, such as being able to visit him whenever he was on the set of one of his new movies, meeting the cast and getting a few sneak peeks. And that was the case with Bohemian Rhapsody. As soon as he found out he was going to be playing none other than Roger Taylor in the new Queen biopic, he called you to let you know. He sounded ecstatic and you were thrilled for him, you were happy he was finally getting some recognition for his talent.

When the “band practice” for the movie started, he never missed the chance to bring her along with him to their usual get-togethers, dinners and so on, wanting her to get to know his new cast mates and secretly wanting to show her off. It goes without saying that you immediately grew close with Lucy and Priya, having girls night in and out. But a friendship that didn’t go unnoticed was the one between Gwilym and you. Ben found more than once the two of you chatting about something too clever for normal people to understand, as Ben and Joe would say. But luckily Ben never got jealous, not of him, at least. He trusted you and the feeling was mutual.

When your birthday came around, Ben thought it would have been nice to throw a little surprise party for you on set. He started organising everything almost a month prior, wanting everything to be perfect. Nothing too big, since he knew you weren’t that fond of surprises, but he wanted to do something special for you, something to celebrate the love of his life. He even went all the way and brought you a few small presents, something to show you how much he loved you.

When the big day finally arrived, you woke up in an extremely good mood. The previous night you had baked some cookies for the cast – and they loved your cookies. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, before sitting up, the smell of freshly made coffee and pancakes hit your nose, bringing a smile to your face. You pulled yourself out of the bed, dragging your feet down the hallway, yawning while walking inside the warm kitchen.

Ben was just placing your plate on the table when he saw you, walking over to you and pulling you into a soft yet firm hug, his lips gently pressed against your forehead. “Good morning, birthday girl” He whispered, his hand reaching for yours and guiding you towards the table, pulling out the chair for you. “How did you sleep?”

“Pretty well, thanks. My boyfriend never fails at keeping me warm” You giggled, holding his hands for a few more seconds, enough for you to place a quick kiss on his knuckles, before letting go.

Breakfast was good, as always. It might not look like it, but Ben was an amazing cook, and you were sure his pancakes were the best of London, if not the whole United Kingdom. After placing all the dishes in the sink, you ran inside the bathroom, wanting to be able to shower before him, so that you could have enough time afterwards to blow dry your hair and get ready. You had talked about it with Ben, telling him how much you wanted to spend your birthday with the cast, with your friends. And Ben was happy to have you there, on set, with him, for a whole day. Suspiciously happy. He had been acting weird for a couple weeks at that point, but you didn’t worry. You thought he was simply stressed out because if this role. Little did you know it was for a totally different reason.

You had decided to put on a nice, black shirt-dress with pink flowers all over it, cinched in with a belt, accentuating your curves. It was your day after all, and you wanted to look at your best. You slipped on your black platform boots and your jeans jacket, before walking into the living room, where Ben was standing, waiting for you, probably texting the boys. As soon as he saw you, his face lit up. He stepped closer to you, his arms finding their way around your waists. “A princess” he whispered, only a few inches away from your face, with that devilish smile of his on his lips. “I’m so luckily to have you”

“Shut up” you giggled, burying your face against his chest, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks. You loved when Ben talked to you like that, telling you how pretty he thought you looked, how luckily he was to have you in his life, and lately he had been doing it more and more often. “We should probably get going” you said, pressing a quick peck on his lips, before starting to walk towards the front door, Frankie tiptoeing right behind you, probably hoping you would take her with you.

“You sure you don’t want to stay here for a little longer? I mean, we could run a little late and say we just got lost doing breakfast or got stuck in traffic” He was right behind you in a heartbeat, hands lingering around your waists, pulling you closer, so that your back was pressed against his chest, his crotch against you ass.

“As much as I would love to do that, I think we should postpone our plans till tonight. Because, babyboy, not even Brian would buy that excuse” You giggled, turning around in his arms and pressing yet another soft peck against his lips, before taking his hand and walking out of your shared apartment, while Ben protested.

You had moved in with Ben a little over a year into the relationship. He had told you how much happier and relaxed whenever he got to fall asleep with you in his arms and wake up the following morning to find you there, still asleep, lightly snoring, your hair a mess. You had protested, saying that you didn’t look good in the mornings, and he replied by saying that you were a vision for sore eyes, even when at “your worse” – which, he reminded you of each morning by peppering your face with gentle kisses.

When you finally arrived on set, you walked to Ben’s trailer, wanting to leave there the cookies and the champagne you had brought to have with the cast during their lunch break. As soon as you reached the set, everyone immediately showered you with birthday wishes. Even Brian and Roger, who Ben had made sure would be there, hugged you and wished you “happy birthday”. And that was more than enough for you. You didn’t need parties, dinners at fancy restaurants, brunches and all that stuff, all you needed was your friends.

“Bunny, you think you could get going and pick up the stuff we brought from the trailer? We’ll be with you at the tables in the lunch room shortly” Ben said in his full on Roger costume, looking as good as ever. He pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, before going back to running a few more lines. You simply agreed, think it would be a smart move and you would also have time to call your parents, check in with them and thanked them for the sweet messages they sent you that morning. So, just like that, you wandered off, greeting a few people on your way to the trailer, thanking them if they wished you a happy birthday, until you finally reached your destination. You did what you had to do and picked the bag with the cookies and the champagne bottle. You were too lost in your thoughts to realise every one was already standing in the break room when you finally walked in. The only thing that brought you back to reality was everyone’s voice screaming in choir “Surprise!”, catching you off guard.

“What is this?” You asked, a bit confused, but with the biggest smile presses on your face.

“It’s for you, silly” Ben walked over to you, pulling you immediately against his chest, enveloping you in a warm hug. “Happy birthday, my love”

You couldn’t actually believe your eyes. Ben had done all of that just for you: he made sure they were going to be eating your favourite food, bought helium balloons of your favourite colour, even asked to have the afternoon off so that he could spend it with you. You didn’t deserve him, you thought to yourself, walking over to where everyone else was standing, thanking them for the surprise.

The lunch went great, you all had fun listening to Brian and Roger telling you about the good old days, about something stupid they did that one time with the band in that one city in the US. When you took out your cookies, everyone cheered; Joe even stole one of the two boxing, telling you he loved them too much and he was going to take them home and eat them that night. Then, it was presents time: you told everyone they didn’t have to, that their friendship was more than enough, but Rami replied by telling you that you needed to be spoiled, at least on your day. Everyone bought you something. Gwil gave you that book you two had been talking about lately, with a cute note inside; Lucy and Rami bought you tickets to the West End musical you wanted to see so badly; Allen and Priya got together and bought you a purse. Joe, wanting to be a bit more sentimental, gave you a beautiful picture frame with a picture you took all together at one of the first dinners that was hosted at Roger’s. Roger and Brian thought it would be nice to give you something of their own: Roger gave you an old fur coat he used to wear in the 70s and Brian one of his old jackets that had thought of lending to Gwil for the movie, but that didn’t make the cut. Last but not least, it was Ben’s turn. You looked at him, your head slightly tilted to the side “Is everything okay?” He looked nervous.

“Yes, I just hope you like my presents” he smiled, before handing you the slightly bigger of the two velvet blue boxes he was holding in his hands. You smiled, gently opening the box: inside there was a small necklace, with your favourite stone and an engraved pendant that said “like the sun loves the moon”. Your eyes immediately became glossy at the memory of the first time he told you that phrase. It was the time he told you he wanted something more serious with you, he wanted to go public, he wanted you to move in. “Because I love you. I love you like the sun loves the moon, that dies every night just to let her breath”.

“That’s cheesy” commented Joe, after you quickly explained what that phrase stood for.

“ Let them be, Mazzello. You’re just jealous” Lucy laughed, winking in your direction.

“That’s possible” he said, looking at Ben. They exchanged a few silent words, a quiet conversation that ended with Ben nodding his head, before turning it once again in your direction.

“There’s one more present” he said, giving you a soft smile, before handing you the other blue velvet box. You took it from his hands, feeling everyone’s gaze on you. You didn’t know why, but you started to feel nervous. You looked down at the box in your hand, opening it slowly. As soon as you saw what was inside, your heart skipped several beats: it was a beautiful ring, with a stone that matched the necklace. You turned around to thank Ben and you found him there, knelt down on one knee, with glossy eyes and his beautiful smile. “I wanted to do this since the day I met you. That was my plan all along. You know, like Jim from The Office, marrying you a long, long time ago, pretty much the day I met you” you could help but let out a watery chuckle, gently placing your hand on his cheek. “But then I decided to wait, to see where this would take us and, now, look at us. If I’m living my dream it’s because of you and all the times you told me to keep going, to keep working for it. So thank you” At that point you knelt down on your knees before him, your thumb gently stroking his cheek. “I want to have what we have for the rest of our lives. I want to wake up next to you, I want to fall asleep on the couch and having to pick you up bridal style to take you to bed, so that you don’t wake up. I want to surprise you with your favourite flowers and fight with you over who had to wash the dishes. I want to grow old with you and have a family, a real family. I want to be the father of your children. I want to take care of you till our dying days.” Tears were streaming uncontrollably down your face. You couldn’t believe it was actually going to happen. “Marry me. Marry me and make me the happiest man alive.”

You didn’t reply, you simply nodded and pushed yourself on his lips, needing to feel him close to you, in that moment more than ever. You could feel everyone around you cheer, applause, even whistle. When you eventually pulled away, he looked at you, his thumb gently brushing away the tears from your cheeks, before taking your hand and whispering a soft “Shall I?”. Next thing you know, the ring was on your finger and you were the soon-to-be Mrs Hardy.

Best birthday ever.

#ben hardy #Ben hardy x reader #send in your requests #send in requests

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freykitten · 5 years ago

Text

So I missed WIP Wednesday

and I can't be bothered.

Here's a snippet of the DXP one shot I need to talk about to feel pressured enough to finish. Enjoy!

The beginning was innocent, it really was (not to everyone, apparently, judging from the number of notifications he got in the span of a few hours, but he’s learnt long ago not to expect better from Branjie fans*). They met at the hotel, went out for lunch together, as Jason wanted to talk some bookings with the both of them, and ended up drinking on the busy streets of London. It was chill. Yes, they were happy to see each other, you know, like friends would. Yes, they had fun together, but they always have fun together, so what’s new? And if Brooke captioned that one video of him with a heart-eyed emoji, no one can blame him, okay? He was cute as hell dancing with that dog.

It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t.

Besides, the next day, Brooke woke up early, taking shots with some guy on Instagram as Vanjie pressed “delete” on the message offering brunch together. Whatever. And then Nina arrived, keeping the skyscraper ballerina entertained for the night in some club with drag queens coming for Moldova’s Eurovision gig, that they didn’t ask him to go along to.

What. Ever.

*I started writing it at the very beginning of the tour and now I don't know if I want to laugh or cry because of this line.

#this whole work #my original idea #the original ending #well #it aged badly #frey's chronicles of the wips

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obliviatemick · 5 years ago

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Ben Hardy Fanfiction | When I Kissed You p. 5

Chapter five: The confession/The call.

Chapter’s song: Dancing Queen - ABBA

Word count: 2314 words.

instagram

Liked by elliebamber_, joekeery, lilireinhart and 235,809 others

therealbarbxx Finally back in LA and about to get some pizza!! 🍕🔥 hmu

colesprouse isn't that top too tight already?

therealbarbxx @colesprouse you know what else is tight? my fist, bitch! I'mma cut yo ass 🔪

lilireinhart Can't wait to catch up, gorgeous!!! 🔥🔥🔥 (Liked by elliebamber_)

joekeery wow, such an elegant lamp!

therealbarbxx @joekeery interior design is my passion hmu!!!

Narrator's POV

A month had passed and Barbara had settled in her normal life again; two weeks after her trip to New York, she received a call back. The casting crew wanted to see more of her, so they asked for a self-tape which she filmed and sent out the same day. Now it was about waiting and hoping she actually got the role.

Barbara's POV

It was Lili.

"Hi, Barbs!!", she kissed my cheek before entering my apartment. "How's it going?"

"Good! I was about to take a bath when you called", I glanced to the empty corridor. "Where's Cole?"

"Ummm, he's away for a few weeks. Life's hectic with all the photoshoots and trips...", she went to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle.

"I heard he was in... what was it? Lychee?", she spat the gulp of water she'd taken, I screamed like a drag queen as I dodge it. Her face was wet and contorted in laughter and I couldn't help but cackle at the sight.

"Liechtenstein!", she managed to say when the laughter was fading away. I grabbed some paper towels and started cleaning the table "I-I'm sorry, Barbs!", she was still trying not to laugh.

I brushed it off with a shrug, "Meh, but to be honest you're welcomed to shoot water from your nose whenever you want. It was hilarious!"

She chuckled, "That's why I love you, you make me laugh when I feel like crap..."

"Aww, it must be hard being by yourself in that huge house", I muttered holding her hand in mind. She stared at me pouting and with puppy eyes, I hated seeing her like that. And then it occurred to me!

"Lils, I'll tell you what..."

⭐

An hour later, my whole squad was at my place (except for Cole, obvs) and they had invited their own friends who had invited even more people! Music blasted the speakers, people danced in the living room and my kitchen was overflowing with snacks and bottles; I gawked at the sight of my house being invaded like that. There were about 20 people in my small living room, I checked out the window and there were other 20 hanging out in the corridor.

"What are we gonna do if someone calls the police?", my best friend Ellie told me.

"It wouldn't be the first time, would it?", and it was true. My friends and I had a long record of police officers calling our parties off, but that was before everyone got jobs or a boyfriend or girlfriend and couldn't meet anymore. In fact, that was the first time I saw all of my friends in months!

"Come, Ellie", I urged her putting an arm around her shoulders. "Forget about them and let's have fun!"

In my bedroom, our closest friends sat on my bed or on the floor or the yellow sofa I had in there.

"Barbs, do you like pineapple pizza?", Keery asked me as soon as we entered the room.

I squinted at him, "Uhhh, what?"

"Barbs, remember the time we went to Santa Monica with my mom?", that was Lana, she was sitting on the edge of the sofa, looking dark and intense. Her hands were open at the height of her chest, she reminded me of that guy on the History Channel who talks about aliens and shit. "Remember?"

I shook my head, "Uhh, yes. I remember, why?"

"Okay, pay attention", she pronounced every word calmly: "What did we eat that day?"

I frowned in disbelief, "How the hell would I remember that? That was last summer!"

"Barbs!", she growled "We had pineapple pizza that day!"

"See? That proves it!" Keery chimed back in with a loud clap "Pineapple pizza is so horrible that she can't even remember she had it"

"Okay, what the hell is this all about?" Ellie asked with the same frustration I was feeling. Lana crossed her arms and gave the boy a killer look. He narrowed her eyes at her, then glanced at everyone in the room before stuttering:

"P-Pineapple pizza!"

The rest of my friends chuckled.

"They can't agree on what ingredients are best in pizza", at last Logan explained the situation. "Joe said pepperoni and Lana said pineapple..."

"I said bell pepper", the redhead Madeleine broke in. Everyone stared at her "What? Bell pepper, unlike pineapple, is unproblematic"

I took a deep breath, "Well, pineapple pizza blows, to be honest"

"Whaaat?!", Lana gasped and gave me an indignant look.

Keery elicited a loud "HA!" before pulling Maddie in a kiss, "I won, babe!"

"Hey, hey, hey!", Lili threw a handful of popcorn at them. "No eating in front of the poor!"

"Yeah, can't you see we are three virginal damsels whose men are far away?", Ellie added in a fake baby voice. I chocked on my drink.

"Men?", Logan shifted on his seat and raised an eyebrow at me. "Whoa, I didn't know Barbara had a new boyfriend"

I glared sideways at my best friend, if looks could kill...

"That's because I don't have a boyfriend, Lerman", I responded sharply and bit on my cup. My friends knew everything about me, but I hadn't told them about me and Ben. Only three of them knew, which meant...

"Oh, don't look at me", Lili raised her hands quickly. "I didn't breathe a word" my eyes then drifted to Ellie who snorted and gave me a really? kind of look.

"What's that about?" Keery demanded, glancing at his girlfriend. "No one has told us anything about a boyfriend"

"Oh, good because I don't have one!" I sang stomping my way out of the room.

"Wha- hold on!", Logan jumped off his seat. "No one's leaving now that you dropped that bomb on us", he scanned the room, the others nodded in agreement. "Well, no one except me... We need alcohol for this", he said before stumbling to the kitchen.

I told them everything. Well... I might've skipped the part about Ben being in Bohemian Rhapsody and the fact that we had sex (twice) the night we met. But all in all, I told them every detail about my breakdown and the café and the brunch we had the next day and how he'd been a gentleman for taking me to airport.

"Wait, what's the name of this guy again?" Lana asked me once I'd finished telling the story.

"Ben, his name's Ben"

"Bennn... what?", my heart started pounding in my chest. I didn't want them to know his name, or find out about what he looked like or what films he'd been in. I wanted the Ben thing to finish once and for all.

"I-I don't remember his last name, I think he didn't..."

"Okay, give me second", she picked up her phone and started scrolling. My chest almost exploded, it was nerve wrecking! What if she knew Ben from somewhere? And then it dawned on me: Lana was in X-Men as well as Ben! "I worked with a guy named Ben that looks exactly like you describe him", I held my breath as she handed me her phone. "Is this your Ben, Barbs?"

My soul left my body as soon as I my eyes landed on the screen; It was a photo of Lana and Ben smiling outside a garage. I was right, they knew each other and I was SO screwed.

"So?", Maddie demanded to know. "Is that Ben or not?"

I decided there was no point in continue hiding it.

"Yes, that's Ben."

⭐

"Are you seriously gonna tell us you didn't sleep with this guy?", Keery was in complete disbelief but I wasn't budging. I'd promise myself I would bury that part of my life deep down the mud.

"Wow, is it so hard to believe that I actually behaved?"

"No, that I can believe...", he retorted.

"Oh, thank you!"

"...When the guy's ugly", he continued talking as he pointed the photo in Lana's phone. "But this guy's a hunk!"

"Yeah, I don't buy it either", Logan took the phone and started tapping. I buried my head on my hands, I was pretty sure he was googling his name. Suddenly, he gasped in awe. I closed my eyes shut. "Girl, there's no way in hell you didn't sit on this guy's face! Look at him"

The others shuffled and soon let out excited screams and snickers. I begged the gods, any god, to just end my life right there, there was no way any of my friends could live down the fact that I slept with Ben Hardy, even if I hadn't explicitly told them that bit of information. They weren't stupid.

"Have you talked to him since then?", Lana asked. The others were still admiring Ben's body (they wouldn't show me the phone, but I could sense that's what they were doing). I shook my head no. "Are you for real? Why?"

"I promised myself not to get involved!" I explained, lying on the floor. Soon after she did the same. "He's far away in London, busy with projects and I'm here in America and... I'm just not ready to start a relationship, not after what happened."

"Yeah, but you need to let it go, Barbs!", she flipped around so she could see my face. "Sooner or later, you'll have to accept that what happened with Harry isn't your fault. And that another guy could love you the way you deserve."

I sighed, "I don't think about Harry anymore, you know? The fling with Ben kinda gave me that extra push I needed to finally let him go..."

"Then what's the problem?"

I pursed my lips before muttering, "I don't want to get hurt again."

⭐

The gossip about Ben soon wore off and the party finished without any policeman coming to my door. I yawned as I wandered around the house, picking up empty cups and bottles from the floor and the furniture, Lili and was doing the same in the other rooms. When I finished cleaning, I roamed through the hallway and into my living room where I found Ellie and Maddie sleeping on the big couch.

I smiled, I'd missed my girls loads! Keery was outside, smoking a cigarette. I plopped on the other couch and allowed my eyes to rest, I felt exhausted from all the dancing, drinking, cleaning and the nerve wrecking confession to my friends. Soon after, I felt the couch dip on the side, I opened my eyes enough to see a blur: it was Lili. I smirked and let myself snuggle on the couch, resting my head on her legs.

She stroked my hair as she spoke, "Thank you for this, Barbs. You really cheered me up with the party", I half smiled as I felt myself drifting away. "Oh, and by the way, I found your phone in the fridge. Ermm, don't ask me how it got there, but I think your agent really needs to talk to you."

She placed my phone in my hands, and like I could I opened my eyes to see that I had 72 missed calls from my agent! "Holy fuck!", I got up abruptly as I scroll on my phone looking for her number. "Holy shit, holy shit..." I pushed the call button and waited. She is going to kill me for calling her at this time!

After a few tones, she picked up, "Hi, Amber? I'm sorry, I-", she spoke quickly in the line, so excitedly that she forgot to yell at me for calling her so late. My heart sank. "A-are you sure?!", a huge smile was starting to form on my face. Lili was looking at me, mouthing for me to tell her what was it and Keery had come to the door when he heard the commotion. "Wait, Amber! Can you say that again for the people on the back?" I put my phone on speaker and waited.

"...you got the role! I repeat, you got the role!"

"Holy crap!", Keery yelled putting both his hands on his head.

Lili and I screamed at the top of our lungs, so high that Ellie and Mads woke up screaming as well. Maddie rolled off the couch, ending on the floor with her red hair tangled all over her face.

"What the fuck is happening?!", she yelled from the floor, she was in a kneeling position now.

"Barbara got the fucking role!", Keery came forward and picked her up in an effusive embrace before kissing and lifting her in arms.

"Ohmygosh!", she said as he put her down and both of them rushed to hug me.

Ellie followed, hugging me from behind, "I knew you could do it, you beautiful bitch!"

I laughed as I let myself absorb all the love my friends were giving me. I was about to start a new chapter in my life, one that could change my life forever and I wasn't letting anyone get in my way.

◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈◈

Ok, this chapter was loooong! Hope I didn’t bore you...

btw!!! smut alert for the next chapter ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

TAGLIST: @rrrogahtaylahhhh @valeriecarolinaw

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years ago

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avoiding the winter sky

A/N: 1374 words. it’s me, back again with a All The Queen’s Men ‘verse mini fic that makes me feel that Riz Ahmed ‘im sad’ picture. anyways..... im sad.

[And All The Queen’s Men ‘verse Masterpost]

September, 1991.

“Mornin’ ‘Zelle.” Jim opens the door for her, giving her a smile and a hug in greeting, she’s got a stack of paperwork in one hand and tupperware contained full of cookies in the other, and she offered him one.

“Rog and Lilith made them yesterday, they’re good, though the kitchen may never recover.” The cookies are chocolate chip, and he takes one with a quiet laugh and thanks, leading her through the house to where she could hear the sizzle of something cooking, and Freddie humming cheerfully. “He sounds bright.”

“Yeah, he’s very cheery today; always looks forward to seeing you.” There’s a smile in Jim’s words that Gizelle can hear without even seeing his face, and when they enter the kitchen, Freddie’s positively beaming at them.

“I think we should go on vacation.” He says, in lieu of a greeting, sitting at the kitchen table chopping onions, his eyes watering just a little. Giselle laughs lightly, swanning over to him to press a kiss to his cheek and put her papers on the table.

“And what makes you say that?” She asks, and he resumes his work as she put her folder down on the table. It’s tradition, they have lunch together on Thursdays, Giselle brings some of her cases with her to look over, or sometimes they watch a movie or play board games, but usually they just end up talking, about everything and nothing, distracting themselves from how tired Freddie is, and the marks that keep appearing on his skin.

“I want to go somewhere warm, everything’s so dreary around here.” And he wasn’t wrong; even though it was only the start of Autumn, the sky was grey more often than it was blue nowadays. “I want an adventure, I miss our adventures.” Once he was finished with the onions, he passed them off to Jim, who was quietly cooking over by the stove, smiling to himself.

“We could go on a pub crawl; see all the bands London has to offer in one night like we used to.” Giselle offers, something in her chest tightening as Freddie’s expression brightens.

“Oh yes, I love a good chance to dress up in disguise.” His eyes shine with amusement at the idea, reminiscing fondly about their old haunt at the edge of town where they used to head when they wanted to remember their roots.

“I could wear a wig and put on a fake nose!” Giselle grinned, getting up and moving around the kitchen with practiced ease, pouring all three of them a glass of orange juice.

“So could I!” Freddie enthused, his smile only brightening as Jim chuckled.

“I think you should both invest in a bright pink bob, very subtle.” He added, thanking Giselle again as she pulled out three plates, smiling at his husband’s obvious delight at the suggestion.

“Oh, we should tour together again! A reunion tour, a new and beautifully bright wig every night!” And Freddie leaned back in his chair, watching with an endearing smile as two of his favourite people finished plating up lunch. The serenity only lasted a minute before he was overcome with a violent coughing fit, and Giselle was by his side as Jim fetched him a glass of water. “Perhaps a tour isn’t for me right now.” He mused, a small, self-deprecating smile on his face as he accepted the drink and hummed with contentment when Jim kissed the top of his head, before heading back to the kitchen.

“What if I go on tour, and you come along as my main backup dancer who sings when he’s not coughing his lungs up?” Giselle offered, and there was something grateful in Freddie’s gaze that she tried not to dwell on.

“And if I do start coughing my lungs up on stage?” He asks with a raised eyebrow, Giselle waves him off.

“It’s interpretive dance; kids these days love that sort of stuff.” She half laughed, and Freddie chuckled.

“Touring’s such hard work though, darling, I don’t want to be dragging dear Jim halfway across America.” He mused, gaze sliding to fix the man in question with a fond smile, which, when he looked up from pushing eggs onto the final plate, Jim returned in kind.

“You think you’ll be dragging me along? Dear, I’ll be right there beside you, whether you like it or not.” He informed them, matter-of-factly, bringing two plates over to the table, before getting the third, all three plates stacked with neatly arranged eggs, bacon, sausages, and cooked onions, along with a slice of toast.

“Well lucky for you, I love it.” Freddie grinned at him, tucking into brunch with Giselle and Jim on either side of him doing the same. “But it is work, touring, I don’t think I have it in me, can’t we just go somewhere nice and warm? I’d love to lie on the beach somewhere.” He mused, and Giselle grinned.

“And which beach would you prefer?” She asked, as if she were already making plans, taking a large bite of her egg on toast.

“Oh, you two pick, I could never decide, I’ve seen too many beautiful beaches to have a favourite.” Freddie grinned, and they sank into silence, all contemplative.

“I haven’t seen nearly as many beaches as you two have.” Jim said, quietly, though he didn’t seem unhappy about it, just thoughtful. Without hesitation, he reaches out, taking Jim’s hand across the table.

“Then we don’t have to pick, we’ll see them all.” Freddie announced firmly, giving Jim’s hand a squeeze.

“All of them?” Giselle asks, eyebrows raised, and Freddie turns back to her with a bright and toothy smile.

“All of best, all over the world; we’ll start with Australia, right after Christmas I’ll fly us there, a holiday present! We can bask in the sun while it’s snowing here in dreary England, how does that sound?” He’s lost in his own world, eyes glazed over as he sits on the edge of his seat, food all but forgotten in front of him; he can see the scene before him, can practically feel the sun on his skin.

“Sounds lovely, Freds.” Giselle said, quiet and kind. “I think we could all use a holiday from this city.” She agreed. “We could visit some friends, oh,” eyes lighting up, Giselle reached out to take Freddie’s other hand, “I know it’s not a beach, but Jim has to see Venice, we could visit in the middle months where no-where’s really right for beaches, we could visit Elton’s little place up there.”

“That does sound pretty nice.” Jim agreed. “I mean, a world tour without the actual tour bit? I think I could handle that; what do you think, Freddie?” And finally, hearing Jim’s voice, Freddie feels his fantasy slipping away, and all he can do is smile.

“Sounds perfectly wonderful, exactly what we need.” And there’s almost a dreamlike quality to his voice, which vanishes once he spots his food going cold before him. “We should eat up, I wouldn’t want to let your cooking go to waste.” And he smiles at Jim, taking back his hands from his companions to keep eating, but Giselle just smiles softly at him.

“I’d follow you to the ends of the Earth if you asked me to.” She tells him, surprisingly serious, and when Freddie looks at her, there’s something a little sad in his eyes as he gives her a fond smile.

“I know, Gizelle.”

Neither one can bring themselves to say it, but they never get past the planning stages. Their time together over the following months is spent poring over travel magazines, Giselle fills a binder with tourist traps they’re determined to see, and picturesque sunset shots they’re determined to recapture, and she pretends it doesn’t hurt her heart when Freddie’s expression fall and he has to outright skip all the pages with actual booking information.

They plan and they fantasize about cocktails at sunset, and when Freddie’s gone, Gizelle puts the folder in the back of her closet, and can’t bring herself to open it again.

#freddie mercury #jim hutton #and all the queen's men #freddie mercury & oc #jim hutton x freddie mercury #jim hutton & oc #im sad #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #the angry lizard writes

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asp1990 · 3 years ago

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Day 10: Saturday July 2nd, 2022 [LONDON]

Breakfast: coffee & yoghurt/muesli from Pret Lunch: Beef burger at Bottomless Brunch Dinner: Tapas from BiBo in Shoreditch

Steps: 14, 154

Loving these sleep ins. Woke up at 10am, had a shower and got ready for drag brunch. It was Pride Day and it was going to be an absolute haven of rainbows, drag queens and queer pals! Amara and I did our hair and ironed our dresses and Tim kindly walked down the road to get us coffees. He dropped them halfway home and had to go back and get a new order. We quickly ate and then jumped on the bus towards Leicester Square.

The streets were absolutely bonkers and everyone was dressed in varying states of pride. Some people had gone all out and others just had cute rainbow flags painted on their faces with glitter. We had all dresses colourfully in hopes of getting sparkles at the venue.

Our friend Zac, who was also in London in anticipation of attending the conference, had his flight to Iceland cancelled… when he got to the airport! Outrageous. He had an unanticipated extra day in London and came to Soho to see if he could nab a spot at brunch with us. He got in! We were with Amara’s friend Emily again and her mate Nigel had organised the table. When we got shown to our spot, it was upstairs on a mezzanine where we couldn’t see any of the entertainment. Nigel was livid. The waitress didn’t seem to understand why we’d be unhappy with our table, but we dealt with it, ordered our food, got our bottomless drinks and went down to the bar whenever we could so we could see what was happening.

The whole afternoon was an absolute delight. We saw TWO drag queens from Drag Race UK - A’whora & Tayce - and they kindly let us get photos with them. We had a good boogie at the bar with Em’s mates who were all super lovely and friendly.

At 6:20pm (I’d set a timer on my watch so we wouldn’t lose track of time), we headed off to dinner with our Drama Vic colleague, Lyndy, who has been living in London for the past few months with her daughter before doing a short course at RADA. We got the train (again, packed with Pride pals) and made our way from Soho to Shoreditch to a tapas place called BiBo that Tim had found online. The food and cocktails were delicious and it was lovely to see Lyndy for a good drama catch up. We ordered a number of dishes to share such as flambé chorizo, broccolini and kale salad, potato and pepper tortilla, potatas bravas and battered fish.

We got the bus home at around 9:30pm and all promptly went to bed. We are going to The Globe tomorrow and plan to do a few touristy things before and after as it’s our last full day in London. Oof! Time is flying!

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bedfordgirl · 6 years ago

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NYC Bachelorette Party

When my college roommate Caitlin told me she was engaged I couldn’t have been happier. Caitlin was living in DC at the time and had met an amazing man from London while out one night. After the news of the engagement, Caitlin also informed me that she would be moving to London to be with him and only had three months left in the states.

Obviously a bachelorette and proper send-off was needed before she left the continent! Unfortunately this gave me about a month of planning. Luckily Caitlin was all about the idea of her bachelorette weekend being in NYC and since I had been living in the city for about three years, it was a bit more of a comfort zone for me with plans.

I started with a guest list and started forming plans with estimated costs. With girls traveling from DC, California, and Boston I felt it was a good idea to get an estimated cost for the weekend so the girls had that in mind when deciding if they were able to make it or not. We chose MLK weekend and luckily all girls were able to make it!

For this Bachelorette Weekend/International Bon Voyage I tried to find as many pre-pay and pre-fixe options as possible. With 10 girls I wanted to avoid splitting checks as much as possible. I landed on the below for our weekend and I would definitely say the pole dancing class and Mexican fiesta dinner were the highlights of the weekend!

Tips - overestimate when you are providing details of the weekend to the guests, it’s easier to ask for money up front vs. asking throughout the weekend. Get to the place where everyone is staying before anyone else arrives. Decorating and making sure everything looks perfect takes more time than you think - luckily I had my roommate help me or else the set-up would not have gotten done before everyone arrived. Share the itinerary and recommendations on what to wear each day at least one week before the weekend.

Here was our itinerary along with some pictures/tips -

Hotel - Holiday Inn Chelsea - great location, decent size rooms, good price

Friday - - I went and checked into both rooms for the ladies. I stayed at my apartment, but had the rooms in my name so I could decorate and set-up for the evening. I got each one of the girls matching shirts from Etsy, and I got cute hangover bags that I filled with Advil, chapstick, a granola bar, band-aids, hair ties, personalized sunglasses, flash tats, and some sparking rose!

- After the girls arrived, we had a lingerie shower and played some fun games. I had asked Caitlin’s fiancé questions about their relationship and for every question she got wrong, she had to take a shot (peppermint patty her favorite!) and for every question she got right she got to give out a shot. We also played a fan favorite that I found on Amazon - Pin the Cock on the Jock. Seriously this game has been a fan favorite at all of the bachelorette parties I have attended.

- Dinner was at 8pm at Tortilla Flats - prepaid with 2 hours of unlimited drinks - http://www.tortillaflatsnyc.com/ - Post dinner we went out in Chelsea at Brass Monkey

Saturday

- I told the girls to put on the matching shirts I had proved in their rooms as we would be matching for brunch and our pole dancing class - Brunch was at 11am at Hotel Chantelle's rooftop in Lower East Side - 92 Ludlow Street- We did the pre-fixe family style menu which included 1 brunch cocktail. They also offer penny drinks and large champagne bunch bowls that we shared after our first cocktail. I had the girls pay me for the pre-fixe amount of the brunch and had them Venmo me for the balance of additional cocktails and tip. - Immediately after brunch we headed to Shockra Dance Studio for a class at 1:30pm - we did the private pole dancing class for an hour. - Post class, we went back to the hotel to get ready for dinner - had to get in all black for our bride to be to shine in white! - Dinner was at 5:30 at Sugar Factory in Meatpacking - 835 Washington Street - This place has typical american food and super cool goblet drinks to share! http://sugarfactory.com/nyc-meatpacking-district - After dinner we went to a drag queen show near Times Square called Diva Royale. Honestly, this was not exactly what I expected. We were one of three groups there and I would have liked for it to have been busier, but it did mean more attention for our girl and she even got up stage during one of the songs! - Post show, we went to Senor Frogs to live out Caitlin's Spring Break fantasies! And then made our way to Murray Hill

Sunday

- We checked out at 11am, had some hangover food for breakfast and all said our goodbyes.

#bachelorette #bacheloretteparty #nyc #etsy #newyorkcity #dragshow #poledancing #planning #ideas #partyplanning #tips #itinerary

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forevercaroline · 7 years ago

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Tvd in New York chapter 7

For @caritobear and @recklessnesspersonified

Gossip girl here is your one and only source for the New York elite: The upper east side just lost a queen, sources have revealed that our resident bad girl Katherine Petrova has moved. And now that winter break is upon us our elite will be jet setting off to their private islands. You know you love me gossip girl.

Xxx

A couple days after Katherine left, the parents decide to leave too. “We don’t know what is going on between you three, your usually so close.”

All three Salvatore siblings start talking at the same time Giuseppe has tried to block out his children bickering since the brunch a week ago but he has hit his breaking point. “ Enough. If you are going to argue and be at each other’s throat do it in penthouse where nobody can see you.”

They all nod but Liz has something to add. “Caroline your debutant classes start next week. I will be back for your cotillion. Also your not in Rio Vegas or anywhere else your in New York City dress appropriate. I left some outfits on your bed.”

“Goodie can’t wait.”

Xxx

Caroline goes up to her room and looks at her bed her mom has put ten outfits on the bed. All the jeans are dark blue skinny and bootlegged, black and white turtlenecks there are dresses but all of them are floor length long sleeve no skin showing.

Caroline rolls her eyes while looking threw them she puts them with the other clothes her mom has given her. There’s a spot in her walk in closet that is specifically all clothes her mom has gotten for her. She never wears them.

Instead she goes over to the jeans she does wear and pulls out a pair of teal skinny jeans and pairs them with knee high buckle heel grey boots, a white tank top with a grey open front shawl cardigan with draped lapels and a gold and teal necklace with her black purse.

Xxx

“Dorota I’m going to the lawyers then to lunch and shopping.”

Damon looks at his sister turning to leave. “ Tell Klaus he’s not my best friend anymore.”

“No, you can be mad at me but leave him out of this he has enough problems without you telling him your not his best friend anymore. We all know Klaus has a worse relationship with his parents then any of us do. Plus I’m going to lunch and shopping with Rebekah and Davina since we are still mourning with Katherine’s departure we need some shopping therapy.”

Dorota turns around “ I can’t take this anymore everyone sit you are settling this now.”

“Dorota they won’t listen they are going to drag this out even though it’s not that big of a deal.”

Damon stands up and faces his sister who is sitting across from him. “ Not that big of a deal. We don’t keep secrets from each other. You kept your relationship with Klaus from us. We would have accepted it.”

“You would of accepted it?”

Damon and Stefan both nod. “ we would be more protective but we would’ve accepted.”

Caroline smiles she jumps up from her chair and claps. “Yay I have so much to tell you guys.”

Both brothers raise their eyebrows “ Do tell sister.”

“Want to grab lunch and we can catch up I’ll call bekah and Davina and tell them im canceling brunch and might be late for shopping.”

As they are leaving Stefan looks down at his twin “ Why are you going to the lawyers?”

“You’ll never guess, the bedtime story Dorota told us about the countess who wanted more and forced into a marriage, only to leave her husband and find a loving family. Is one hundred percent true it’s Dorota’s life. She is already married I’m getting her divorced so she can be with Vonya.”

Damon turns around at the elevator and yells back to Dorota “ Dorota you sneaky woman no wonder you fit in so well with this family.”

Xxx

“ Mr. Maxfield the Salvatore’s are here to see you.”

Wes Maxfield is the Salvatore family lawyer he has his hands full with the family, mostly the kids but sometimes Giuseppe and Liz need him too. “ Send them in.”

“ And what can I do for you today. Post bail money, convince the mayor to announce that Caroline’s birthday is a actual holiday in New York City again, talk the police out of arresting one of you for the fifth time this month.”

The three siblings look at each other they don’t find this funny and this month they haven’t had to deal with the police at all. “ More like I need a divorce for a friend.”

“I’ve been with your family for a long time I know when you guys say for a friend your talking about yourself, so who did you marry in I’m guessing a Vegas drunk wedding, also I’m not adding your spouse into the will.”

Caroline rolls her eyes “Did you forget we pay you for legal advice not snarky sarcasm. You should treat us without the disdain since almost all of your checks are because of the three of us. If you want we could take our Money find a new lawyer and have you black balled from not only this city but every law firm in the world.”

The Salvatore siblings are not Wes’s favorite clients. They keep him so busy that it cost him an engagement. “ I’m sorry, I have not had enough coffee to deal with teenagers today. Let’s start over who did you marry?”

“My sister didn’t marry anyone it’s our housekeeper Dorota who wants the divorce. We just want to know if we can get her a divorce with the husband not being in the country.”

“I’ll look into it. Is that all?”

Damon turns around in the doorway, Caroline looks up at him and nods she can only handle Wes for so long. “ Yes you don’t have to put up with us anymore lucky for you. Unlucky for you we are the most interesting and richest clients you have. You seem to forget that when our father was looking for family lawyers it was our mother who suggested they choose the guy right out of law school, we made you popular we can tear you down.”

“Your right because of your family I have clients but I’m a good lawyer you can’t tear me down. If I have to I’ll go one on one with all three of you.”

Xxx

Since they had a big breakfast, Liz wanted her children to stop fighting so she had Dorota and the chefs make a big breakfast. They weren’t that hungry for lunch, so they just had some macaroons from ladurèe and hit up Dylan’s candy bar.

“ I can’t believe you two are fine with klaus and I.”

“ we were more angry with ourselves that we didn’t even notice you and klaus when with you keeping it from us.”

Caroline throws her arms around them. “ I love you guys.”

Xxx

“ Miss Salvatore, Miss Mikaelson and Miss Claire what brings you to the plaza today?”

“Mourning our usual room please and have a bottle champagne brought up.”

The front desk person hands them a pink key. “ Right away now will you be needing any spa cards or using the tea that comes with the room?”

The girls look at each other silently asking each other. “ No to the tea yes to the spa.”

They take the elevator up to the top floor and put the key in the pink door and open a suit full of pink, black and white. It’s the Eloise suit, the suite they would visit as kids and now as teenagers they still visit it but not as often.

Caroline lays down on the king size bed while Rebekah sits in a chair and Davina on the ottoman opening the bottle and handing it to Caroline who takes a drink and hands it too Rebekah. “New York just doesn’t feel the same without Kat.”

“I keep expecting her to come into the penthouse and say we’re going shopping and let’s sit on the steps of the MET and judge the underclass man.”

Davina taking a sip. “Remember when she dated Kai she would tell me about it because she knew I could relate because we had that fling when he first got here.”

Caroline flipping over on to her stomach reaching for the champagne “ I forgot you had a fling with Kai. He kissed me last year on New Year’s Day.”

Rebekah looks at her surprised “ He kissed me last year on New Year’s Day too.”

“ Enzo is going to be disappointed he’s not the only one who has missed all of us.”

Xxx

“Has anyone seen my pink top and black bottoms bikini, I found the heels but not the bikini and I just got it today.”

Stefan and Damon come out of their bedrooms, Dorota comes out of the living room. “ Why would we know where your bikini is?”

“ in the dryer I had washed all bikini’s and swim trunks. I’ll have them on your beds within the hour.”

“Car is here.”

Caroline coming down with her suitcase “ Dorota call Wes Maxfield, he called a little while ago and said that he drew up the papers and will send them over but he will have to send a copy to your husband. So he needs to know where he is?”

Xxx

They arrive on an island in Fiji, they have a private island and they have a big beach house. “ I call east wing.”

“ Kol you can’t call a whole wing plus we get the same rooms as last year.”

“After we unpack we should have a campfire on the beach.”

While sitting around the campfire Klaus reveals. “ I have to tell you guys something, I’m not a Mikaelson, that night we got back from Vegas and all hell broke loose but before we went to Katherine. Esther came into my room and told me my father is not Mikael but his old business partner Ansel.”

Rebekah and Kol both look at each other then at their brother. “ You are our brother, doesn’t matter if you have a different father we grew up with you, when we moved here you were six we were five you decided it was your job to protect us.”

Kol agrees with his sister “ Yeah remember when we were seven Rebekah and I were in the school hallway talking and these kids came up to us and started making fun of us because they said we talked funny and that we should go back to where we came from. Rebekah started crying I was comforting her and you heard Bekah and found us and stood up to the bullies for us.”

Klaus gets up and goes over to his brother and sister and they put their arms around him. “ I love you guys.”

“ We love you too brother.”

Xxx

Two days later Caroline who is leaning against Klaus on the beach. “ We should find your father does he even know you exist or are his.”

“He’s met me before but he doesn’t know I’m his.”

Caroline looks up at him “ We should go to London and tell him. He has a right to know.”

Klaus nods, Caroline looks over at Rebekah who is leaning into Stefan, Kol and Davina in the water, Damon joking with Enzo. “ This doesn’t feel right were enjoying the sun in Fiji and Katherine is sulking in Bulgaria.”

Rebekah nods. “ Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Caroline smiles and nods they gather everyone up and tell them the plan.

Xxx

Katherine is sitting in her window seat painting her nails black and cursing her dad for bringing her here when she could be in Fiji right now. When the doorbell rings and since they don’t have Nadia anymore that responsibility has fallen to Katherine.

She answers and let’s out a excited squeal. “ Did someone order some best friends.”

Katherine pulls Caroline and everyone in for a hug but manages to avoid messing up her wet nails, she has missed them so much she hates Bulgaria. The excited squeal was heard by Katherine’s mother who is laying on the couch with a washcloth over her eyes. “ Katerina please I have a headache who was at the door?”

“Some clothes I had left in New York I had Nadia sent them over.”

Katherine leads them upstairs to her room which is smaller then her room at the Petrova penthouse and smaller then her room at the Salvatore’s. “ Nice room.”

Katherine looks over at Davina “ You don’t have to lie to make me feel better I know it’s a small room and a small apartment. My father wanted to make it look like we are a close family so he didn’t even get us a pretend house he got us a pretend apartment and he’s never here. My mother has had a headache since we arrived at the apartment, I’m taking this better then her.”

Klaus sitting under Caroline speaks “ Would a trip to England to meet my real father make you feel better.”

That took Katherine by surprise “ What, your real father how much have I missed.”

“The night that you told us that your moving Esther also told Nik Mikael is not his father instead Mikael’s business partner Ansel is. Plus Nik is convinced that none of us will love him anymore since he’s not our biological brother, which is insane because we will always love him.”

“ Freya has known this whole time and never told me.”

Kol hits klaus foot “ Freya knew before me so much for brothers sticking together.”

“ Well brother blame Elijah, if he didn’t start crying Freya would never have gone out of her room to get him a bottle and see Esther and Ansel kissing and going into Esther’s room.”

Xxx

“ Mother with my whole life being uprooted and away from my friends I need comfort so I’m going on a 3 day shopping trip. I’ll be back before fathers thing.”

Katherine’s mother is still laying on the couch with a washcloth over her eyes. “ Have fun. Don’t be late to your fathers thing, and if you see anything I would like get it.”

“ Yes mother.”

Katherine returns to her room and looks at her friends “ Let’s go I have three days before I have to return to dull Bulgaria.”

Caroline swings her arm around Katherine’s shoulders “ I’ve missed you.”

“ I’ve missed you too.”

Xxx

While on the plane klaus had called Freya to ask her where Mikael and Ansel used to work together. She said they used to work in the Mikaelson hotel in the heart of London.

While they are walking the streets of London Caroline and Rebekah come up to Katherine and pull her aside. “ We got you a gift.”

Katherine raises her eyebrows in curiosity. Both Caroline and Rebekah share a devious smile. “ it’s waiting for you in your room at the Mikaelson estate.”

“ You two are evil tell me you got me a gift but don’t give it to me or tell me what it is.”

They find the Mikaelson hotel and go up to the receptionist “ Hello we are looking for Ansel, is he here?”

“ I’m afraid he just stepped out, you could leave a message and when he comes back I can tell him you stopped by.”

“ No don’t tell him we came here.”

Klaus leaves and everyone runs after him. “ What’s wrong man I thought this is what you wanted to meet your dad.”

Klaus turns to Damon, he loves that all three Salvatore’s are talking to him again. “ Ir is but meeting Ansel is not going to erase all the abuse from Mikael. What if Ansel is just like Mikael they were business partners.”

Caroline puts a hand on klaus’ arm “ It’s your choice but I know you will keep asking yourself What if I met him, what if he’s different. Your right you can’t erase what Mikael has done to you but you have the chance to have a father son relationship that is loving.”

Klaus puts his hand over hers and squeezes. “ We will try again tomorrow.”

Xxx

They get back to the Mikaelson estate and Caroline and Rebekah cover Katherine’s eyes and take her upstairs they open the door and uncover her eyes. Katherine smile is huge sitting on her bed is Elijah with roses. Katherine jumps into his arms and wraps her legs around his waist knocking him backwards onto the bed.

“I’ve missed you Elijah.”

“ I’ve missed you too my Katerina.”

Xxx

Caroline wakes up to the sound of her phone ringing. She reaches out from underneath the covers and Sleepily she answers. “ Hello.”

“ Caroline this is your father.”

That wakes Caroline up she sits immediacy up in bed startling Klaus who is asleep right next to her. “ Yes father.”

“ I’ve been thinking about the favor you asked and I’m calling to tell you I’m looking into it.”

“Thank you.”

Xxx

“ I have to get back to Bulgaria if I’m not back today my father on the way to Bulgaria threatened to send me to an all girls school in Siberia if I didn’t behave and act like a member of loving family.”

Kol starts walking backwards to face Katherine while walking through the streets of London. “ Relax Kitty Kat first we all know you would never survive in a all girls school, you love guys too much. Second I want a cinnamon roll and Davina wants hot chocolate.”

Katherine pokes him in the chest with her finger. “ And before Davina you, Damon, and Enzo were in competition to see how many girls at our school you could either flirt with, kiss or sleep with. Remind me who won?”

“You did you got the entire male population of our school to kiss you because you set up a kissing booth.”

Katherine smiles at him really big and proud. “ It was a win win the money went to charity and they got to kiss a hot girl I even got a teacher to volunteer his lips.”

“ Elijah doesn’t count.”

Katherine shares a look with Caroline. “ As I have kissed both you and Elijah I would say Elijah counts because he is a better kisser then you.”

“ I’ve missed you Kitty Kat. New York is not the same neither is the banter.”

“ I’ve missed you and the banter too.”

Xxx

Kol goes into the coffee shop and while he is waiting for his order he hears. “ Coffee for Ansel.”

He turns around and a brown haired blue eyed man with a suit and black long jacket is walking up to the counter. Kol looks out the windows at Klaus then at Ansel he can see they have the same eyes and same facial structure. “ Excuse me Ansel.”

“ Yes, do I know you, you look familiar?”

“ You know my family. Kol Mikaelson.”

Ansel looks shocked he takes a step back. “ Mikaelson, are you traveling with your parents?”

“ I stopped traveling with my parents when I was born, I’m here with some of my siblings, do you want to meet them? I know it’s been awhile.”

Ansel nods and Kol smiles cheekily he knows what he’s doing and as he’s leaving he hears the barista calls out his name. He goes out to his siblings and gives Davina her hot chocolate. “ You will never guess who I ran Into Ansel and he wants to re meet us.”

Everyone looks at Klaus who nods.

Xxx

They all walk in and sit down at Ansel’s table. Ansel is surprised by the amount of people. “ Wow your family has grown since I last saw you.”

Caroline, Katherine, Rebekah, Damon and Stefan look at klaus to say something while Davina and Enzo look at Kol.

“ Um were not all Mikaelsons. I’m Caroline Salvatore.” Caroline pointing to her brothers “ my brothers Damon and Stefan. That’s Katherine, Enzo and Davina.”

Everyone has noticed that Ansel and klaus have been looking at each other since they entered. Katherine bumps her shoulder into his. While Caroline nods and holds his hand. “ I don’t know if you remember me I’m Niklaus.”

“ I do. You loved playing with your younger siblings.”

Klaus nods. He doesn’t know what to say to Ansel. “ We have to go we have a plane to catch.”

“ Oh where are you flying too.”

“ Bulgaria.”

Xxx

They land in Bulgaria and are in front of the apartment building everyone hugs Katherine. “ You’ll be in New York soon.”

“ I hope.”

“ I’m going to miss you so much, I love you Kat.”

“ I’m going to miss you too, I love you Caro.”

#tvd in New York #klaroline #caroline salvatore #damon salvatore #stefan salvatore #rebekah mikaelson #kol mikaelson #davina claire #katherine pierce #elijah mikaelson #freya mikaelson #klaroline fanfiction

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theupsidenews · 4 years ago

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SMASHED: THE TASTIEST COLLECTION OF FRINGE PERFORMERS SERVED HOT

Taking a cue from the drag brunch phenomenon in London and New York, Smashed – The Brunch Party is introducing Adelaide Fringe to a femme-tastic and fabulous weekend brunching experience. Hosted by award-winning cabaret queen Victoria Falconer and featuring a smorgasbord of world- class cabaret, fierce drag and jaw-dropping circus performers, your favourite meal of the day just got…

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artificialqueens · 6 years ago

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Chronicles of the Impossible; or, five small realisations - Part 2, Brooke (Crooke) - fandomfeministe

A/N: Thanks again to Saiph for being such a good second pair of eyes, and helping me figure out what would make sense to go where. I have ideas for a couple more chapters but I am completely open to any prompts or suggestions for what people might like to see in future :)

Chronicles of the Impossible; or, five small realisations (Part 2 - Brooke)

Realisation the first - Cracker, Henry and Apollo

The afternoon after that early morning phone call between Brooke and his mom was the first time Cracker had the opportunity to hang out with the beings he considered his children - his cats. Brooke himself had gone for a shower, and his lover had taken the time to unpack; given that he was going to spend a few days here, and he was particular about his stuff, Cracker was keen to make sure he didn’t make more work for himself on getting back to New York by letting everything get trashed.

His problem, however, was that his lover’s babies had had other ideas. He’d laid out his clothes, ready to refold and place them back into the drawers Brooke had arranged for him, and had decided to go grab a drink. Not more than thirty seconds had he been out of the room, grabbing a soda, when he returned to find that his favourite black turtleneck had won itself a pair of new fans - Henry and Apollo, curled up on its soft surface. “I can’t believe you walked right past everything else to make yourselves comfortable on that!” he gasped, wondering how on earth he was going to negotiate getting his turtleneck back in a reasonable state without truly pissing off the human who loved these adorable, thieving little assholes.

When Brooke returned from the shower, it was his turn to watch his lover from the doorway into the living room. With a towel wrapped around his waist and a fond smile on his face, his gaze was fixed towards the smaller man on the couch. There was no denying it… Cracker spoke to the cats like they were tiny, furry, incredibly exasperating humans.

“Look, you guys, I know this sweater is comfortable. I like it too, that’s why I bought it,” he was saying, directly addressing the cats. Apollo was stretched out on the couch beside him, nonplussed and with his tail gently swishing, and Henry sat on the floor directly in front of him, sitting up straight with his head tilted, wondering why on earth the new human seemed to be waving around the new comfy thing he and his brother had discovered. It was an air of polite indifference, if such an expression could be read on a cat (and Brooke did).

“But really, I don’t live with cats, so I’m not used to getting hair off my clothes. I hope we can get along, here, because your human happens to be someone whose good side I want to stay on. Understood?” In response, he got a look of apathy from Apollo and an almost pitying mew from Henry, who approached the older man’s feet and stretched up his paws, standing on his hind legs, seeking pets. Cracker sighed and gave them to him, scritching the more outgoing feline behind the ears. “You three are going to be the end of me, you know that?” he lamented, almost jumping as he heard Brooke’s heavier steps pad over the wooden flooring towards them. “The fuck, Brooke? How did you sneak up on me?”

“Couldn’t help it. You scolding my cats over a turtleneck was just too cute,” he bantered back, kneeling down to kiss the New York queen. While Cracker almost blushed into the kiss, Brooke couldn’t help but feel his heart melt.

Realisation the second - Cracker’s quick wit (on stage)

While her gigs in New York had the celebratory tone of being on home turf, with the regular crowd at her usual bars and clubs just excited to see her, Cracker had mentioned to Brooke that making appearances elsewhere in the country was always slightly more intimidating. Fun, yes, but give the wrong sort of performance on the wrong sort of night, and your reputation in the region could certainly take a hit.

There were places where being known as a New York queen could be especially difficult no matter what sort of performer you were. Since Season 6, every single season of Drag Race had had a New York girl in the final, and the city’s queens had even taken three in a row - her own drag mother being one of those. There were plenty of queens - and even fans - who would be quite happy to see the NYC girls taken down a peg or two.

So it was that Cracker was on stage, midway through her set, and Brooke was completely impressed with how his lover was working the crowd. Every so often she’d take a little walk along the stage, directing a different part of her story to a different group of people, giving them that little moment of closeness with the queen they’d been excited to see. It was beautifully done, really, Brooke thought. It gave different parts of the audience their moment of feeling like they had her attention, and at the same time, made her look like she was at home here as she was back in NYC, commanding the stage like she owned it. It reminded her of Cracker in London, actually, around the time they first became… well, whatever they’d become.

Brooke was laughing, almost uncontrollably so, at the story she was telling about the time “her friend” was driving away from an ex’s house with a bag full of sex toys. He’d heard it before, at least three times, and knew the punchline off by heart. There was something about the way Cracker told it though - tweaking it slightly for each audience she told it to - that made sure it was still hilarious every time. And the way she stood there, in the bright turquoise leotard, big Barbie hair and her hand on her hip like she was totally done with everything? He found it hysterical.

Only now, he could see from the slight change in her facial expression that she actually WAS done with everything, and his eyes followed her gaze out into the crowd. Some guy, sitting there with an incredibly embarrassed looking girlfriend, had wobbled to his feet, cupped his hand around his mouth and was attempting to yell, interrupting Cracker’s set. Cracker, Brooke and the girlfriend were not the only people who were starting to get pissed off, but the performer in Brooke noticed Cracker’s response - a steady set to the hips, holding firm, and a smooth tone to her voice that was as cold as steel.

“Sorry, dude, I don’t understand a word you’re saying. I don’t have a filter for drunk idiots.”

The audience tittered, one or two clapping in support.

Brooke didn’t quite hear the next thing the guy yelled, but knew it must have been a low blow about appearance when Cracker quirked her brow and raised her hand higher on her hip, pushing them back and tits out as she spoke to the rest of the audience - who, it could be noticed, was a good three fifths female and female presenting. “And yet,” Cracker began, “even your own damn girlfriend is looking at me more than you right now. And the lesbians would definitely rather have me than a guy who looks like he usually spends a weekend crying over his shitty fantasy football picks, letting Cheeto crumbs fall into his pants.” The heckler visibly shrank back, almost purple in embarrassment as the people around him literally pointed and laughed, some even pulling out their phones to record the interaction. The whole thing would probably be on YouTube before the morning. “That’s right, dude. Go sit in the corner and finish evolving.” A huge roar went up from the crowd, and Cracker took a step or two back before continuing her set, allowing herself a moment to soak up the acclaim.

Brooke almost shook his head in admiration, a smile spreading across his face. Somehow, this quick-thinking, pocket-sized powerhouse was interested in him?

He would definitely have to show his appreciation later.

Realisation the third - Cracker’s quick wit (off-stage)

It was May, quite late on, and the four of them were gathered for brunch in LA right before the insanity of the Drag Race end-season began. Brooke was a strange mix of tense and relaxed, knowing just how much was coming and the potential fall-out of both. There was the soon-to-air reunion, of course, and mere days ago they’d filmed the episode in which the fans would finally find out about just how over the whole Branjie thing was. It was certainly not something he was looking forward to, more for the resurrection of their own hurt and pain over the whole relationship than for a real fear about what people might say. He was cold, the Ice Queen… he could handle that. Right?

The one thing - or person, he should say - who was giving him doubts about his ability to breeze through this was sitting opposite him at the table, sharing raucous laughter with Monet about something his sister had said. Nina, ever the mom friend, had turned to look at him, bringing Brooke back into the conversation with a little wave to catch his attention. He was soon brought out of his thoughts, and his focus was brought back to a shorter, dark-haired man who managed to command the group’s attention despite being easily the most delicate and diminutive looking queen there. The Canadian was starting to feel things for him that he hadn’t felt since he’d broken up with Vanjie months ago - and what scared him was how much this didn’t scare him. Not this time. But the thought of what the next few weeks would stir up, and how he would have to keep his feelings squashed again… it hurt. It made him feel like he wanted to lash out and tell the world anyway, public perception be damned.

Now that, that was new.

Nina had asked Cracker and Monet a question about how things had been the year before, when the girls had been thrown straight into their own tour after the drama that had been stirred up at their own reunion. When the Aquaria vs Cracker storyline hadn’t produced quite what the show wanted, the reunion episode had had quite a bitter moment when Asia’s words in the Evil Twin challenge were brought up, causing the girls to relive some memories they’d already worked past or, in some cases, buried. It gave Brooke some hope, seeing the friends here now, that whatever trouble would be stirred for the Season 11 queens, they too would be able to work it out.

It had worked out so well, in fact, that Cracker was now recounting a story about how she, Monet, Asia, Kameron, Dusty, Blair, Vixen and Yuhua had been in bunks on the same bus, and the small space the eight of them were crammed into had resulted in Asia being fed up at the thought of climbing up and down every time. So fed up, in fact, that she’d ended up gathering a bunch of stuff at the end of the bunk, “like something out of Hoarders, bitch!” and accidentally outed some of her personal preferences in a very late night phone call home to her man.

The imitations that followed, somehow spot-on and satirical at the same damn time, had Brooke in stitches to the point of almost hurting himself. There was something about Cracker’s quick wit - its hyper intelligence, pin-point accuracy and ability to jab whoever was necessary (including himself) that Brooke really admired in his lover. There was enough to draw him there, holding him to the older queen like a pair of magnets, even without all of this. But the laughter and sheer glee of the late morning in the LA sunshine, shared platters slowly being demolished as the levels in the wine bottles got lower and lower, that held an allure all of its own. His eyes were fixed in one direction in particular, and he didn’t feel like hiding it anymore.

Realisation the fourth - activism and dedication

A month later, and around three after the two queens had first become a thing, Brooke and Cracker were in another small café, this time in NYC, spending the day together before the rest of Pride month meant that things became more busy for the pair of them. Brooke, as runner up in the most recent season of Drag Race, was a man in high demand. Cracker, though the news wasn’t public yet, was about to head off to film All Stars 5. The fact that a busy, working queen was going to be MIA during the busiest month of the year would not go unnoticed, and would essentially confirm many fans’ predictions.

Their lives, in short, were about to go crazy. Crazier than things usually were once you became a Ru Girl, at any rate.

It also meant, of course, that they were going to see nothing of each other for weeks, hence this lunch date.

Cracker, however, had spent a whole quarter hour of their meeting on the phone, apologising profusely for the apparent need to accept the call. As soon as he’d answered, he began almost immediately talking in another language, one that Brooke didn’t recognise. He knew it wasn’t French, obviously, and recognised enough of the odd Hebrew word he’d heard in his lover’s company that it wasn’t that, either. He must have looked confused, though, because when the person on the other end of the call put him on hold - seemingly as they looked for information - Cracker met his eyes. “Wolof,” he said succinctly. “I’m talking to people I used to work with in Senegal.”

Of course, Brooke thought, his own eyes closing as Cracker began speaking again. Now things started to fall into place. He knew that, like his mom, Cracker had grown into an adult working in an artistic field. One of his last jobs before going into drag full time had been working in various New York galleries, specialising in dealings of West African pieces, which had meant he needed to travel a lot. Of course, being openly gay in many parts of the continent was still a huge risk, and ever since, Cracker had links with groups in various places campaigning for human rights victories. Now, as it was Pride in the US, it made sense for him to be in touch.

It was something oddly beautiful to witness, too. Brooke didn’t have to speak a word of Wolof to know that the subject of the conversation was something of great excitement to Cracker and his friend, the American waving his free hand wildly in the air as his eyes had an undeniable sparkle to them. Brooke couldn’t bear to interrupt, or even signal his interest to him lest he be a distraction, and so he decided to watch him instead. His own smile became just visible over the top of his coffee cup.

Along with so many things he’d reflected on of late, this was one more thing that Brooke was growing to love - no, not that word, he told himself, not allowing even the tiniest bit of the thought to sneak through - about the New Yorker sitting in front of him. He was someone so spirited, so passionate, so dedicated to the causes he believed in, that it was impossible for Brooke to believe he didn’t mean every single word and action of his activism.

It made his own heart swell just thinking about it.

When his lover had hung up on the call, Brooke reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently and with admiration written all over his face. “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered, quickly leaning over the table to give the smaller man a kiss.

The time it took for them to leave cash on the table and head back to Cracker’s place took longer than the phone call, but as they later lay curled up in each other’s arms, both men considered it worth it.

Realisation the fifth - three little words

It had been weeks, but felt more like months, since Brooke and Cracker had had their lunch date in NYC. A few days later, Brooke’s lover had flown to LA to film All Stars 5, and the cycle of their being caught in the maelstrom of Drag Race began again. It was different being the one on the outside, knowing that your loved one was going through the intense competition process and you had no way of reaching them. On more than one lonely night, Brooke found himself going through old texts, pictures and videos they’d taken together in the last few months - sometimes using them to help reach his own pleasure, other times scrolling through the sweeter ones and sleeping curled up in a ball, his phone still in hand.

What he hadn’t yet been willing to acknowledge to himself was just how much the other man meant to him, but that denial couldn’t last forever. It all came to a head when, on a night out with Nina, he turned down the advances of no fewer than three separate guys who’d sidled up to him at the bar, batting their eyes and slinking away disappointed within minutes. There was a different vibe to Brooke now, and it wasn’t hard to see it. When a fourth approached, and Brooke simply got up and walked away, Nina had to say something - linking an arm through his, and walking him swiftly to one of the booths, his eyes flicking left and right before speaking.

“Something’s different. Spill.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Nina.”

“Bullshit!” he exclaimed, a little too loudly as some nearby clubgoers turned their heads in surprise. Sheepishly, Nina lowered his head to continue. “You’ve had men crawling all over you, all night. You haven’t even looked at any of them, let alone taken your pick of the hottest and had someone to kick out of bed in the morning. Like I said, something’s different.”

Brooke winced. Nina’s assessment of his love life, although brutal, was painfully accurate. His best friend of nearly a decade, there wasn’t much he could hide from him, and he looked up resignedly with the intent of telling him everything. This, to Nina’s surprise, he did. He started with stories, the little moments he’d had with his American lover - the time they’d spent together on tour, the times they’d had surprising each other at gigs, even the way Cracker’s face looked while he was telling jokes. There was a way his nose wrinkled upwards and his mouth hung open, almost barking with laughter, and it was the most endearing thing he’d ever seen.

In turn, Nina listened, and smiled. It wasn’t Brooke being happy again that made him react this way, but the fact he was opening up. He’d always been so closed off, emotionally speaking - arguably one of the main reasons he’d never had a successful relationship before - and now here he was. Thirty-three years old, and finally being able to admit to his best friend, without shame or hesitation, the feelings that someone new was causing him to feel. It was revelatory, really. When Brooke finally admitted why he hadn’t taken anyone home that night - because none of them were a certain dainty, dark-haired and eyed Jewish-American queen that he was slowly becoming hooked on - Nina held Brooke’s gaze and grinned, maintaining the connection as he spoke.

“You know what this means, don’t you?”

“…yes,” Brooke admitted, though not yet willing to say the words.

“You love him.”

It was factual, credible, and totally without judgement.

Brooke nodded.

#rpdr fanfiction #miz cracker #brooke lynn hytes #brooke x cracker #fluff #chronicles of the impossible #fandomfeministe #submission

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