#draft from 4 days ago but my opinion has not changed
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god-damnit-vinne Ā· 1 month ago
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cant stop thinking about how kokichiā€™s ideal romantic partner is canonically shuichi. i cannot stop thinking about it. love suite events are so much more telling than we give them credit for and kokichiā€™s is literally opening a book to who he really is because unlike the others his ideal is the person we are playing as. he doesnt realize shuichi isnt just a product of his imagination here so the possibility that he was lying about loving him in his love hotel is incredibly slim.
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short-circuit-the-great Ā· 11 months ago
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I was tagged by @magic-ace in this post where they wanted me to answer all of them, so here it is:
šŸŽ± ā‡¢ post your AO3 total stats
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šŸ“ ā‡¢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?
A classic tale of "my favorite character didn't get enough screen time" led to this.
šŸŒµ ā‡¢ share the link to a playlist you love
šŸ•Æļø ā‡¢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?
Give it a 5. I don't mind it but it's difficult to focus on the proofreading side of it.
šŸ›¼ ā‡¢ describe your latest wip with five emojis
šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸŒžšŸ”„šŸ”„
šŸ„‘ ā‡¢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?
@magic-ace @mecha-milkers @i-am-an-omen
šŸ„¤ ā‡¢ recommend an author or fanfic you love
I haven't finished it, but Descent by Zakharie.
šŸ’Œ ā‡¢ how many unread emails do you have right now?
Zero.
šŸŒ» ā‡¢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis
@brockendrems
šŸ‡ ā‡¢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?
Original characters. Reader inserts aren't for me.
šŸ§ƒ ā‡¢ share some personal lore you never posted about before
I will share one of my favorite taekwondo stories from many years ago because I think it is funny. Two different short dads I was sparring with managed to accidentally nail me in the face with the same kick on two different occasions, months apart. (You cannot hit the face in taekwondo but going for a headshot it happens a lot.) The first time miraculously didn't knock out any teeth but my upper lip got stuck in my braces and I had to rip it out while laughing maniacally. I looked like a corpse for weeks. The second time was straight in the nose, so my nose is still slightly crooked and makes a crunchy noise if I wiggle it to this day.
Both of the dads felt terrible but I was a teenage boy so I thought blood on my uniform was cool.
The "short dad curse" was real for a bit there and the only reason it hasn't continued is because I am now the short dad myself.
šŸŽ² ā‡¢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?
I don't have this problem.
šŸ„ ā‡¢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings
Knock Out and Breakdown roughhouse a lot.
šŸ§ø ā‡¢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?
Reblog my shit with silly tags.
šŸŖ ā‡¢ name three good things going on in your life right now
I'm learning to animate, which is cool.
I'm feeling a little more hopeful about finishing my degree.
My friends are wonderful.
šŸ“š ā‡¢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?
I don't use the notes app.
šŸ¬ ā‡¢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character
I know better than to share that on this hellsite.
šŸ”Ŗ ā‡¢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?
Typical murder-related writing searches.
šŸ¦· ā‡¢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on
I got a small notebook to write tasks in, things I've done, what and when I ate, etc. This has been very helpful for memory loss and blackouts.
ā„ļø ā‡¢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?
Don't have one, but one of these days I want to write something more hopeful, something along the lines of a 2010s-era superhero cartoon but as a novel. Don't have a plot for that one yet. It's rotating in my head, though.
šŸŒæ ā‡¢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity
One of the best pieces of writing advice I ever heard was "give yourself permission to suck." When you sit down to write you can't be fixated on making it perfect the first time. All your first draft has to do is exist. Anything you write down you can change later, but you gotta get it down first.
šŸ„ ā‡¢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh
My roommate and I keep saying "inch resting" and "ingredience" to each other.
šŸœļø ā‡¢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?
Any.
šŸ¦ ā‡¢ name three good things about a character you hate
He makes admittedly funny puns. That's it. That's all I'm giving Silas.
šŸ„ ā‡¢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told?
I don't lie except for safety.
šŸ¦‹ ā‡¢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately
Grief.
šŸ¦“ ā‡¢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?
A few.
šŸ… ā‡¢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing
Don't give my characters enough time to "rest"--it's one crisis after the other. That's the way I like it but someone get em therapy what the hell
šŸš ā‡¢ do you like or dislike surprises?
It depends what kind.
šŸŖ² ā‡¢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here
She barely made it halfway down to the gallows before something slammed into her, knocking her into the side of the building and shattering a line of windows. The crowd gasped and looked up, and then all Suncatcher could see was shadows and broken glass and the gun someone shoved into her face.
ā€œIf you canā€™t sit back and watch nicely,ā€ Crossfire said, ā€œthen you canā€™t watch at all.ā€
ā€œGo to hell,ā€ Suncatcher said, and the blades on her forearms snapped out and stabbed into Crossfireā€™s midsection.
ā˜ļø ā‡¢ what made you choose your username?
Thought ShortCircuit would be a good pen name for Transformers fanfic. It eventually became a new pen name overall, though I still use NobleRunaway in other spaces.
šŸ ā‡¢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them
@magic-ace @mecha-milkers @i-am-an-omen I love you guys so much. May your pancakes always be fresh.
ļæ½ļæ½ ā‡¢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them
So remember when I answered one of these with "grief"
šŸŽØ ā‡¢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it
This doodle of Knock Out because it speaks to me.
šŸ§© ā‡¢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?
I wrote an entire rant and deleted it because the internet can't read. But there is something and it falls under mischaracterization.
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lesbiancharliedalton Ā· 2 months ago
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ok i forgot i drafted this a few days ago LMAO so here i'm just answering every single dps question in the ask game bc i want to.
1. Who's your favorite character?
Hmmmm...................................................................................... Dunno about this one folks............ (it's Nuwanda btw)
2. Who's your favorite character who is not one of the poets?
Okay wait this is kinda hard LMAOOOO cuz most of the characters outside the DPS/Keating either suck or have nothing going on at all........................ Honestly Gloria. Underrated and over-hated character she literally did nothing wrong and also that should have been me. I know she got her pussy eaten. Also I love Melora Walters.
3. Which character do you think had the best name?
LMAO wait this is a really funny question. Knox Overstreet honestly has the most fitting name though. Like. Yeah that would be the name of someone who wears a sweater tied around their neck huh.
4. What's your favorite poem in the movie?
Poetrusic by Charles Dalton :)
5. Do you like any ships? If so, which ones?
Meeks/Pitts! Obviously I do like Anderperry too. I don't tend to read a lot of fic to be quite honest because it's hard to find ones that I want to read. But the best couple is me/Charlie
6. What's your favorite headcanon?
This is hard because I'm not really sure. My favorite headcanons are all my own tbh................. The headcanon that Charlie and I moved into a studio apartment together in Greenwich Village in April 1961. :)
7. What's your most unpopular opinion?
Knox isn't a sexual assaulter and you should be allowed to have a nuanced take on him without being attacked. And I don't even like Knox that much. And while I'm here I'm going to play super dirty and say that I have personal experience with assault and what he did is literally fucking nothing. Chris did NOT care and Chet is physically violent and Knox is just an idiot. Chris didn't want Chet to hurt him! My other unpopular opinion is that I am allowed to have a nuanced take on Cameron and also still dislike him overall. I don't get why the fandom loves Cameron now and hates Knox. One is a fucking cop and the other is just a bumbling idiot. That being said I understand him as a character obviously and I understand the context and etc etc but also........ Don't care. Doesn't excuse his actions.
8. What's your favorite scene?
The third cave scene where Charlie brings Gloria and Tina to the cave, changes his name to Nuwanda and announces that he published the article in the school paper. Iconic groundbreaking legendary he ate that up gagged them served etc etc.
9. What's your favorite deleted scene?
The one where Todd helps Neil rehearse his lines outside in the snow near the pier. I don't think any of the deleted scenes needed to be included in the movie at all except for that one. That's the only thing I would add.
10. Do you have any songs you associate with the movie, or any specific characters?
Lol............. Vienna is about Charlie to me forever now. :(
11. If you had to assign the cast a flower, which flowers would go to who?
This is extremely random I'm skipping it cuz I honestly don't really care lol. I don't know enough about flowers.
12. What's something you wish they'd done in the movie?
Added in a sex scene betweI'm joking. This is a joke. I don't think they needed to add anything tbh. The only thing I would say I wish stayed in is that pier scene from earlier but the movie still works without it just fine.
13. What's something you wished they hadn't?
Honestly I'm thinking really hard about this and I can't think of anything. I'm dead serious I don't really think there's anything I dislike or think should have been left out. I guess in retrospect I wish they had changed the Knox party scene ONLY because of how insane it makes literally every other person in the fandom and how insane the discourse makes me feel. But I personally don't think anything should have been left out/changed. And I'm correct. ā˜ŗļø
14. Do you like any poems not featured in the movie? Any you wished they'd read?
This is a funny question like are you asking me if I like ANY poems at all???? It'd be funny to be like, "yeah I hate poetry except for the ones they read in Dead Poets Society"
15. What do you think of the book?
Okay I feel very passionately about this. I HATE the fact that the book is so prominent in the fandom. SOOOOO MANY MOVIES GET NOVELIZATIONS. It is a MARKETING thing. It was SO common for movies to get a novelization tie-in based off of a script. It is basically film merchandise like a fucking t-shirt or something. The novelization is based off of an earlier draft of the script and includes a shit ton of stuff that was changed and taken out. Never in my life have I seen any fandom take this to heart and yet the DPS fandom can't get over the shit in the book. They treat the book as "canon" despite the fact that it's a bunch of shit that ISN'T IN THE MOVIE AND SOMETIMES CONTRADICTS THE MOVIE!!!!!!!! This fucking baffles me and I will fight you about it. It pisses me off like genuinely. It doesn't make any sense and I think the entire fandom needs to stop calling the book "canon" because there's so much shit in the book that directly contradicts the events of the film. Like what even is "canon" at this point. Enough with the fucking book bullshit!!!!!!!
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jcmarchi Ā· 4 months ago
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Searching for a New CSSĀ Logo
New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/searching-for-a-new-css-logo/
Searching for a New CSSĀ Logo
There is an amazing community effort happening in search of a new logo for CSS. I was a bit skeptical at first, as I never really considered CSS a ā€œbrand.ā€Ā Why does it need a logo? For starters, the current logo seemsā€¦ a bit dated.
Displayed quite prominently is the number 3. As in CSS version 3, or simply CSS3. Depending on your IDEā€™s selected icon pack of choice, CSS file icons are often only the number 3.
To give an incredibly glossed-over history of CSS3:
Earliest draft specification was in 1999!
Adoption began in 2011, when it was published as the W3C Recommendation.
Itā€™s been used ever since? That canā€™t be rightā€¦
CSS is certainly not stuck in 2011. Take a look at all the features added to CSS in the past five years (warning, scrolling animation ahead):
(Courtesy of Alex Riviere)
Seems like this stems mainly from the discontinuation of version numbering for CSS. These days, we mostly reference newer CSS features by their individual specification level, such as Selectors Level 4 being the current Selectors specification, for example.
A far more general observation on the ā€œprogressā€ of CSS could be taking a look at features being implemented ā€” things like Caniuse andĀ Baseline are great for seeing when certain browsers implemented certain features. Similarly, the Interop Project is a group consisting of browsers figuring out what to implement next.
There are ongoing discussions about the ā€œerasā€ of CSS, though, and how those may be a way of framing the way we refer to CSS features.
Chris posted about CSS4 here on CSS-Tricks (five years ago!), discussing how successful CSS3 was from a marketing perspective. Jen Simmons also started a discussion back in 2020 on the CSS Working Groupā€™s GitHub about defining CSS4. Knowing that, are you at least somewhat surprised that we have blown right by CSS4 and are technically using CSS5?
The CSS-Next Community Group is leading the charge here, something that member Brecht de Ruyte introduced earlier this year at Smashing Magazine. The purpose of this group is to, well, determine whatā€™s next for CSS! The group defines the CSS versions as:
CSS3 (~2009-2012): Level 3 CSS specs as defined by the CSSWG
CSS4 (~2013-2018): Essential features that were not part of CSS3, but are already a fundamental part of CSS.
CSS5 (~2019-2024): Newer features whose adoption is steadily growing.
CSS6 (~2025+): Early-stage features that are planned for future CSS.
Check out this slide deck from November 2023 detailing the need for defining stronger versioning. Their goals are clear in my opinion:
Help developers learn CSS.
Help educators teach CSS.
Help employers define modern web skilā€¦
Help the community understand the progression of CSS capabilities over time.
Circling back around to the logo, I have to agree: Yes, itā€™s time for a change.
Back in August, Adam Argyle opened an issue on the CSS-Next project on GitHub to drum up ideas. The thread is active and ongoing, though appears to be honing in on a release candidate. Letā€™s take a look at some proposals!
Nils Binder, from 9elements, proposed this lovely design, riffing on the ā€œcascade.ā€ Note the river-like ā€œSā€ shape flowing through the design.
Chris Kirk-Nielson pitched a neat interactive logo concept he put together a while back. The suggestion plays into the ā€œCSS is Awesomeā€ meme, where the content overflows the wrapper. While playful and recognizable, Nils raised an excellent point:
Regarding the reference to the ā€˜CSS IS AWESOMEā€™ meme, I initially chuckled, of course. However, at the same time, the meme also represents CSS as something quirky, unpredictable, and full of bugs. Iā€™m not sure if thatā€™s the exact message that needs to be repeated in the logo. It feels like it reinforces the recurring ā€˜CSS is brokenā€™ mantra. To exaggerate: CSS is subordinate to JS and somehow broken.
Wow, is this the end of an era for the familiar meme?Ā 
Itā€™s looking that way, as the current candidate builds off of Javi Aguilarā€™s proposal. Javiā€™s design is being iterated upon by the group, itā€™s shaping up and looks great hanging with friends:
Javi describes the design considerations in the thread. Personally, Iā€™m a fan of the color choice, and the softer shape differentiates it from the more rigid JavaScript and Typescript logos.
As mentioned, the discussion is ongoing and the design is actively being worked on. You can check out the latest versions in Adamā€™s CodePen demo:
Or if checking out design files is more your speed, take a look in Figma.
I think the thing that impresses me most about community initiatives like this is the collaboration involved. If you have opinions on the design of the logo, feel free to chime in on the discussion thread!
Once the versions are defined and the logo finalized, the only thing left to decide on will be a mascot for CSS. A chameleon? A peacock? Iā€™m sure the community will choose wisely.
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niseamstories Ā· 4 years ago
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10 Lessons on Realistic Worldbuilding and Mapmaking I Learned Working With a Professional Cartographer and Geodesist
Hi, fellow writers and worldbuilders,
Itā€™s been over a year since my post on realistic swordfighting, and I figured itā€™s time for another one. Iā€™m guessing the topic is a little less ā€œsexyā€, but Iā€™d find this useful as a writer, so here goes: 10 things I learned about realistic worldbuilding and mapmaking while writing my novel.
Iā€™ve always been a sucker for pretty maps, so when I started on my novel, I hired an artist quite early to create a map for me. It was beautiful, but a few things always bothered me, even though I couldnā€™t put a finger on it. A year later, I met an old friend of mine, who currently does his Ph.D. in cartography and geodesy, the science of measuring the earth. When the conversation shifted to the novel, I showed him the map and asked for his opinion, and he (respectfully) pointed out that it has an awful lot of issues from a realism perspective.
First off, Iā€™m aware that fiction is fiction, and itā€™s not always about realism; there are plenty of beautiful maps out there (and my old one was one of them) that are a bit fantastical and unrealistic, and thatā€™s all right. Still, considering the lengths I went to ensure realism for other aspects of my worldbuilding, it felt weird to me to simply ignore these discrepancies. With a heavy heart, I scrapped the old map and started over, this time working in tandem with a professional artist, my cartographer friend, and a linguist. Six months later, Iā€™m not only very happy with the new map, but I also learned a lot of things about geography and coherent worldbuilding, which made my universe a lot more realistic.
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1)Ā  Realism Has an Effect: While thereā€™s absolutely nothing wrong with creating an unrealistic world, realism does affect the plausibility of a world. Even if the vast majority of us probably know little about geography, our brains subconsciously notice discrepancies; we simply get this sense that something isnā€™t quite right, even if we donā€™t notice or canā€™t put our finger on it. In other words, if, for some miraculous reason, an evergreen forest borders on a desert in your novel, it will probably help immersion if you at least explain why this is, no matter how simple.
2)Ā  Climate Zones: According to my friend, a cardinal sin in fantasy maps are nonsensical climate zones. A single continent contains hot deserts, forests, and glaciers, and you can get through it all in a single day. This is particularly noticeable in video games, where this is often done to offer visual variety (Enderal, the game I wrote, is very guilty of this). If you aim for realism, run your worldbuilding by someone with a basic grasp of geography and geology, or at least try to match it to real-life examples.
3)Ā  Avoid Island Continent Worlds: Another issue that is quite common in fictional worlds is what I would call the ā€œisland continentsā€: a world that is made up of island-like continents surrounded by vast bodies of water. As lovely and romantic as the idea of those distant and secluded worlds may be, itā€™s deeply unrealistic. Unless your world was shaped by geological forces that differ substantially from Earthā€™s, it was probably at one point a single landmass that split up into fragmented landmasses separated by waters. Take a look at a proper map of our world: the vast majority of continents could theoretically be reached by foot and relatively manageable sea passages. If it werenā€™t so, countries such as Australia could have never been colonized ā€“ you canā€™t cross an entire ocean on a raft.
4)Ā  Logical City Placement: My novel is set in a Polynesian-inspired tropical archipelago; in the early drafts of the book and on my first map, Uunili, the nationā€™s capital, stretched along the entire western coast of the main island. This is absurd. Not only because this city would have been laughably big, but also because building a settlement along an unprotected coastline is the dumbest thing you could do considering it directly exposes it to storms, floods, and, in my case, monsoons. Unless thereā€™s a logical reason to do otherwise, always place your coastal settlements in bays or fjords.
Ā Naturally, this extends to city placement in general. If you want realism and coherence, donā€™t place a city in the middle of a godforsaken wasteland or a swamp just because itā€™s cool. There needs to be a reason. For example, the wasteland city could have started out as a mining town around a vast mineral deposit, and the swamp town might have a trading post along a vital trade route connecting two nations.
Ā 5)Ā  Realistic Settlement Sizes: As Iā€™ve mentioned before, my capital Uunili originally extended across the entire western coast. Considering Uunili is roughly two thirds the size of Hawaii Ā the old visuals would have made it twice the size of Mexico City. An easy way to avoid this is to draw the map using a scale and stick to it religiously. For my map, we decided to represent cities and townships with symbols alone.
Ā 6)Ā  Realistic Megacities: Uunili has a population of about 450,000 people. For a city in a Middle Ages-inspired era, this is humongous. While this isnā€™t an issue, per se (at its height, ancient Alexandria had a population of about 300,000), a city of that size creates its own set of challenges: youā€™ll need a complex sewage system (to minimize disease spreading like wildfire) and strong agriculture in the surrounding areas to keep the population fed. Also, only a small part of such a megacity would be enclosed within fantasyā€™s ever-so-present colossal city walls; the majority of citizens would probably concentrate in an enormous urban sprawl in the surrounding areas. To give you a pointer, with a population of about 50,000, Cologne was Germanyā€™s biggest metropolis for most of the Middle Ages. Iā€™ll say it again: itā€™s fine to disregard realism for coolness in this case, but at least taking these things into consideration will not only give your world more texture but might even provide you with some interesting plot points.
Ā 7)Ā  World Origin: This point can be summed up in a single question: why is your world the way it is? If your novel is set in an archipelago like mine is, are the islands of volcanic origin? Did they use to be a single landmass that got flooded with the years? Do the inhabitants of your country know about this? Were there any natural disasters to speak of? Yes, not all of this may be relevant to the story, and the story should take priority over lore, but just like with my previous point, it will make your world more immersive.
Ā 8)Ā  Maps: Think Purpose! Every map in history had a purpose. Before you start on your map, think about what yours might have been. Was it a map people actually used for navigation? If so, clarity should be paramount. This means little to no distracting ornamentation, a legible font, and a strict focus on relevant information. For example, a map used chiefly for military purposes would naturally highlight different information than a trade map. For my novel, we ultimately decided on a ā€œshow-off mapā€ drawn for the Blue Island Coalition, a powerful political entity in the archipelago (depending on your worldā€™s technology level, maps were actually scarce and valuable). Also, think about which technique your in-universe cartographer used to draw your in-universe map. Has copperplate engraving already been invented in your fictional universe? If not, your map shouldnā€™t use that aesthetic.
9)Ā  Maps: Less Is More. If a spot or an area on a map contains no relevant information, it can (and should) stay blank so that the readerā€™s attention naturally shifts to the critical information. Think of it this way: if your nav system tells you to follow a highway for 500 miles, thatā€™s the information youā€™ll get, and not ā€œin 100 meters, youā€™ll drive past a little petrol station on the left, and, oh, did I tell you about that accident that took place here ten years ago?ā€ Traditional maps follow the same principle: if thereā€™s a road leading a two dayā€™s march through a desolate desert, a black line over a blank white ground is entirely sufficient to convey that information.
10) Settlement and Landmark Names: This point will be a bit of a tangent, but itā€™s still relevant. I worked with a linguist to create a fully functional language for my novel, and one of the things he criticized about my early drafts were the names of my cities. Itā€™s embarrassing when I think about it now, but I really didnā€™t pay that much attention to how I named my cities; I wanted it to sound good, and that was it. Again: if realism is your goal, thatā€™s a big mistake. Like Point 5, we went back to the drawing board and dove into the archipelagoā€™s history and established naming conventions. In my novel, for example, the islands were inhabited by indigenes called the Makehu before the colonization four hundred years before the events of the story; as itā€™s usually the case, all settlements and islands had purely descriptive names back then. For example, the main island was called Uni e Li, which translates as ā€œMighty Hill,ā€ a reference to the vast mountain ranges in the south and north; townships followed the same example (e.g., Tamakaha meaning ā€œCoarse Sandsā€). When the colonizers arrived, they adopted the Makehu names and adapted them into their own language, changing the accented, long vowels to double vowels: Uni e Li became ā€œUunili,ā€ Lehō e Āhe became ā€œLehowai.ā€ Makehu townships kept their names; colonial cities got ā€œEnglishā€ monikers named after their geographical location, economic significance, or some other original story. Examples of this are Southport, aā€”you guessed itā€”port on the southernmost tip of Uunili, or Caleā€™s Hope, a settlement named after a businessmanā€™s mining venture. Itā€™s all details, and chances are that most readers wonā€™t even pay attention, but I personally found that this added a lot of plausibility and immersion.
I could cover a lot more, but this post is already way too long, so Iā€™ll leave it at thatā€”if thereā€™s enough interest, Iā€™d be happy to make a part two. If not, well, maybe at least a couple of you got something useful out of this. If youā€™re looking for inspiration/references to show to your illustrator/cartographer, the David Rumsey archive is a treasure trove. Finally, for anyone who doesnā€™t know and might be interested, my novel is called Dreams of the Dying, and is a blends fantasy, mystery, and psychological horror set in the universe of Enderal, an indie RPG for which I wrote the story. Itā€™s set in a Polynesian-inspired medieval world and has been described as Inception in a fantasy setting by reviewers.
Credit for the map belongs to Dominik Derow, who did the ornamentation, and my friend Fabian MĆ¼ller, who created the map in QGIS and answered all my questions with divine patience. The linguistā€™s name is David MĆ¼ller (no, theyā€™re not related, and, yes, we Germans all have the same last names.)
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vicholas Ā· 3 years ago
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i think we're about the same age so im curious... i was SUPER into every anime airing from 2007-2013 (aka my middle/high school years), and trailed off by about 2014. i'm so out of the loop on shit now, ive watched maybe 3 or 4 series in the last 7 years. my nostalgic ass tends to be all "those were the good ol days," but you've actually been keeping up (afaik). how would you say anime/the industry of today compares to that of a decade ago? has much changed? i suppose that's kind of wildly broad... but i respect your opinions a lot and we share a lot of the same tastes. if that's too big a question, then: what do you rec watching/reading from the last 10 years?? :0)
Okay this has been sitting in my drafts for months, sorry anon. I wanted to answer it sooner but I got nervous that I was forgetting some stuff in my recommendations and I wanted to make sure I wasnā€™t forgetting anything before posting it, but I think itā€™ll be better that if I forgot something Iā€™ll just add it in a reblog or make a marked edit later to add it rather than to keep waiting to publish it.
Hhhh this is hard, I kinda struggle to give recommendation because the second I get asked for recommendations I tend to forget everything I've ever liked, but I'll try
To answer the question: I think this kind of thing is normal and it happens to a lot of people when they get around this age. I feel there were a lot of periods where I stopped watching anime for a good while and came back to it later.
I honestly don't think anime used to be better 10 years ago. I think it's super easy to look back and think that because of nostalgia but, I think the amount of good stuff being produced is like about the same. I DO think there is more bad stuff being produced lmao. This is because the number of anime being produced has increased and it often means more crap being made. This means it can be a bit harder to find what stuff is good in the sea of so much anime, but I do think there's some pretty good stuff being made nonetheless.
I don't watch/read as much stuff as I used to when I was younger, but it's because I simply don't have time. My list of things to watch is pretty big for that reason orz. Normally I keep up with only one show at the time.
On recommendations, here's what I can think of from the last 10 years:
Anime:
- Heartcatch Precure -Ā Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun - The latest few Lupin III series - Deca-Dence - Odd Taxi - Ousama Ranking - Sonny Boy - Mob Psycho 100 - Nichijou
Manga:
- Spy x Family - Dungeon Meshi - Dorohedoro - Heaven's Design Team - Mairimashita Iruma-kun! - Sanda - Blue Period - My Broken Mariko - Kageki Shoujo - Is Kichijoji the Only Place to Live? - Kieta Hatsukoi - Witch Hat Atelier - Asadora (Urasawa) - Hirayasumi
(Edit)Ā Adding new stuff:
- Skip and Loafer - Robo Sapiens
Only now I am realizing that I read way more manga than I watch anime lately despite being an animation fan lmao rip...
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morganaseren Ā· 4 years ago
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WIP Meme (Arranged Marriage AU Scene)
Tagged by:Ā @illusivesoul Sorry this took me so long!
Please enjoy this small scene from my Arranged Marriage AU with Niamh and Leliana. Everythingā€™s under a cut since Iā€™m using a couple semi-NSFW gifs for the hell of it. ;D
Tagging: @this-is-something-idk-what, @noeldressari, @chaosroid, @jellydishes, @w-h-4-tā€‹ Only if you want to participate of course!
Leliana was still changing when she heard Niamh entering their hut, muttered curses spilling from her wifeā€™s lips. She was amused to hear several Orlesian ones she had taught her some weeks ago. Given Niamhā€™s seemingly preternatural poise and patience regarding matters of diplomacy, it was rather telling.
ā€œI take it your last meeting ended less than ideally?ā€ Leliana surmised, peeking her head around the edge of the paneled folding screens Niamh had made for her not long after they had returned from Amaranthine.
ā€œTo say the least,ā€ she admitted with a weary sigh as she sat down at her desk, immediately setting to work on the numerous documents she had carried in with her. ā€œIā€™ve hit something of an impasse regarding these trade agreements between Orlais and the individual non-human nations.ā€
ā€œOh? The latter have expressed more of an interest now?ā€
Niamh hummed distractedly in confirmation, pausing briefly to wet the tip of her quill in a nearby ink well before making additional notes. ā€œSince the treaty between Orlais and Ferelden has been holding well over the last half year, yes. Granted, thatā€™s been due in large part to our marriage. I suppose they wanted to see if the Orlesians would keep their word.ā€
ā€œHas it been so bad?ā€ she asked, curious, even as she moved to readjust the clasp of the garter belt to one of her stockings.
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They were part of the lace and satin lingerie set she had asked Josie to send out to her in her latest care package, which Leliana had no doubt exasperated her friend to no end, especially given what her plans were regarding it. While Josieā€™s future as a bard had been short-lived, she was no stranger to the concept of using seduction to achieve a desired outcome.
In this case, it merely meant pulling Niamh away from her work. Her role as Higheverā€™s Emissary meant that she had practically been buried in negotiations for the past month as she sought to meet the needs of the various parties involved.
ā€œEven before your marriage, Niamh has always been terrible at relaxing,ā€ Saiorse had said when Leliana had gone to her with her concerns. Sheā€™d then rolled her eyes before adding, ā€œIf there were more hours in a day, Iā€™m certain my little sister would still find a way to work past them.ā€
ā€œWhile we may not wear masks here, the sensation of a snake thief is hardly new,ā€ Niamh answered, drawing Leliana out of her thoughts. ā€œThe diplomats looking to establish trade with Ferelden were trying to cheat us the first time. Thatā€™s why Ambassador Montilyet and I went through so many revisions of the treaty before I agreed to the finalized draft. Orlais wouldnā€™t receive more goods for less sovereigns, and Ferelden wouldnā€™t gain more riches for giving less of what was desired.ā€
ā€œAh. I think Josie may have mentioned something along those lines to me just before you and I met. My countrymen arenā€™t known for being easy to work with unfortunately. Still, she had nothing but high praise to give regarding your restraint with the situation,ā€ Leliana said as she regarded herself in the full-length mirror, casually settling the length of her hair more evenly around her shoulders before sauntering out past the changing screen. ā€œHaving said that, Iā€™d hoped I could get your opinion on a small matter.ā€
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ā€œOf course, Mo ChroĆ­. How may I---ā€ (Translation: Mo ChroĆ­ is an Irish term of endearment that means ā€œMy Heart.ā€)
Leliana couldnā€™t suppress her smirk as her wife looked up from her work only to be rendered immediately speechless---a rare feat in and of itself---at the sight of her. Chrome-colored eyes soon widened comically, and further amusement suffused her when she saw the tell-tale blush skirting across naturally-pale cheeks to reach even the arching curves of each ear. Leliana turned in place then, allowing Niamh to see the backside of her attire.
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ā€œI had this sent over from Orlais, and seeing as youā€™ve more of an artistic eye than I do, I was wondering what your thoughts might be regarding the lacework?ā€ she asked, purposefully reaching behind her to readjust the near sheer garment, where the design of several paired birds could be seen taking flight amidst occasional bursts of finely-detailed feathers. ā€œI thought it was rather exquisite.ā€
The fabric fell back against her skin with a muted snap after she finished toying with it, and there was a startled yelp behind her along with several hollow thuds. The latter had her looking over her shoulder in confusion. Apparently her little display had flustered Niamh enough that sheā€™d accidentally set the feathery plume of her quill on fire and was now animatedly trying to smother the stray embers out near the edge of her desk, away from the sensitive documents. Leliana couldnā€™t help but give in to her laughter then even as her wife looked up at her with a brief, embarrassed scowl.
ā€œI donā€™t know why youā€™re laughing when that was entirely your fault to begin with,ā€ Niamh muttered although she allowed herself to be pulled away from her desk---twining her fingers easily around Lelianaā€™s own---and be sat on the edge of their bed.
ā€œI would certainly hope so.ā€ Her mirth was still evident in her voice, but Niamh gave no other complaints, especially as Leliana moved to straddle her, settling her thighs on either side of her wifeā€™s own. Her smile turned more sultry when it seemed Niamh couldnā€™t keep her hands to herself. The mage wasted little time in curiously running them over the satin tops of her stockings, thumbing over the line of skin that met the fabric at its hem. ā€œYouā€™ve been working entirely too hard as of late. Surely, you canā€™t imagine I wouldnā€™t notice the exhaustion that follows you when you rise from bed before the sun only to return to it long after Iā€™ve fallen asleep,ā€ she added when it seemed the other woman was ready to protest.
ā€œWell, Iā€™m certainly not tired now,ā€ she murmured, sheepishness settling into her expression at the gentle reprimand even as Leliana could see the way her eyes were quickly dilating with arousal. She hummed in satisfaction at the sight before rocking her hips down into Niamhā€™s, who responded by pulling her closer, encouraging the motion again. Before she could dip her head to claim her wifeā€™s lips in a kiss, there was the quick beating of footsteps at the doorway.
ā€œEmissary Niamh! Our guests have---oh!ā€
Her bard training instinctively had her reaching for the dagger sheathed at Niamhā€™s hip with the intent to hurl it at the intruder if need be. In response, Niamh had also wrapped her arm more protectively around her waist, and Leliana could feel the subtle heat flashing along her side as the mageā€™s free hand likely flared with fire at the potential threat. After more of a cursory glance, however, they both discovered there was no danger to be found. It was only Lysette---one of the up-and-coming warriors of the clan---who stood at the entrance to their hut, face flushing a dark red upon realizing she had trespassed upon what was meant to be an intimate moment.
ā€œAh. Lysette,ā€ Niamh greeted. Leliana could feel the warmth of her wifeā€™s breath against her shoulder as she peered at the woman over the curve of it. ā€œI apologize,ā€ she said, extinguishing the flame from her hand. ā€œYou managed to catch us both a bit unaware. What can I help you with?ā€
ā€œI...ā€ The womanā€™s jaw worked together several times before she straightened stiffly in place, blush still burning bright as she struggled to keep her gaze anywhere but near the bed. ā€œMany apologies for the interruption, my ladies! Uh, as I was saying, our guests are in need of Emissary Niamhā€™s expertise. It would seem they have more clauses they would like to add to the trading treaty being brokered with Orlais.ā€
ā€œIā€™m afraid our Emissary will otherwise be preoccupied for the remainder of the day, Lysette. Given how much time and effort sheā€™s already put into these negotiations the past fortnight alone, surely our guests can understand that further insight regarding mutual benefits would best be made with a clearer head.ā€ She could feel Niamh stiffening in place beneath her, but before she could offer any objection, Leliana reached down to card her fingers through the back of the womanā€™s hair in soothing motions. She suppressed a grin then when her wifeā€™s head soon fell forward lethargically with a muffled grunt. Still, she kept her gaze on Lysette, offering a placating smile although it only succeeded in flustering the young warrior. ā€œWouldnā€™t you agree?
ā€œY-yes, Lady Leliana! Of course! Iā€™ll relay the message at once!ā€ she swore, placing a hand over her chest to bow profusely before taking her leave. There was a muffled curse as she banged her shoulder against the doorframe before she disappeared from view with the sound of stumbling footsteps quickly fading into the distance
ā€œYou... are terrible,ā€ Niamh declared dryly.
ā€œAm I?ā€ She continued gently rubbing at the back of Niamhā€™s neck, and her heart warmed with delight when the woman pressed her face against her shoulder, eyes closed, looking to all the world like little more than a sleepy pup.
ā€œYouā€™re taking shameless advantage of me. Iā€™m going to end up falling asleep on you if you continue doing that.ā€
ā€œI was trying to get you to relax. This is as good enough of a reason as any.ā€
ā€œYou donā€™t want toā€¦?ā€
ā€œThe better-rested you are, the more time weā€™ll have to play, no? To bed with you now, Mon Amour.ā€ She pressed her fingertips against Niamhā€™s sternum, and she barely had to use any force at all before her wife fell to her back, taking Leliana with her.
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asleepinawell Ā· 3 years ago
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How has poi changed your life? Genuinely curious, I love this show
I got this ask in May '20 and am only now answering it. :')
part of the problem with answering it is that half of the answer would be to the question of 'how has fandom changed your life' where poi is the fandom I've been the most active in and where fandom made the most difference. and that's a long story
my first draft of this was over 2k words long, and went back much further in time explaining how i had and hadnā€™t fit into queer spaces and fandom throughout my life. I edited it way back but itā€™s still long-ish, so you can read it below the break
many years ago, when I got my first full time job in my chosen industry my senior year of college I was so busy that I couldn't function. massive unhealthy amounts of overtime and a toxic work environment. (don't work at tech start-ups, kids!!!) my social life vanished. strikethrough on livejournal happened right then too and fandom, which iā€™d only been a silent participant in at that point, kind of went quiet for a while and by the time it started regrouping I was so busy that I didn't know about it. several awful years later I quit my job, spent several months in my room in my parents' house trying to recover from massive burn out (see my comment about tech start-ups), and then got a job on the opposite coast and left behind my whole circle of friends some of whom made up my entire connection to the queer community at that time.
making friends after college is very hard when you're an introvert and just generally don't like socializing that much. making queer friends can be even harder since there's fewer places to meet them and there's often an underlying question of dating/sex that hovers around awkwardly when sometimes what you want is just an absolutely no romo/no sex friendship. so while I did make a few queer friends eventually, I didn't have that same sort of community I did before I'd moved and I missed it
(I would be remiss in not saying that the queer friends i made in this time are all amazing and wonderful and some are still my close friends and very important to me. The thing Iā€™m highlighting here was the lack of feeling like I was part of a larger queer community).
fast forward a bit. I get sick. like really really sick. I'm in and out of the ER, I'm missing tons of work, I'm mostly bed-ridden. I think after the last few years people can more easily appreciate how intensely lonely and surreal being stuck at home by yourself non stop can be when you're not used to it. sometime right before that I'd joined tumblr for the sole purpose of looking at cat pictures on my phone during boring meetings. I wasn't really aware that this was where fandom had migrated to (it was in fact possible to use tumblr without intersecting with fandom). but stuck home alone with time to kill I started looking for art and gifs of the tv and games I was consuming and stumbled into fandom tumblr and specifically queer femslash fandom.
I kind of poked around the territory and eventually fell into the carmilla fandom which became the first fandom I actually created content for. a few of my fics had a decent audience and while I was never part of the central core of the fandom I made some good friends there. some of y'all probably followed me back then. I eventually drifted away from carmilla for a lot of reasons I won't get into and stumbled right into poi. this would have been between seasons 4 and 5, late 2015-early 2016.
my health problems get more exciting and I end up in the hospital. I have vague memories of watching poi on my laptop in my hospital bed (vague because I was on a lot of morphine). I actually posted some fic while I was in the hospital (would have been the end of my carmilla run still).
and I get out of the hospital (early 2016) and am somewhat better but it's pretty clear that I'm going to have chronic health issues probably for the rest of my life. my social life, such as it was, was mostly dead, a lot of stuff I used to do for fun was much harder to manage. I'm still spending a ton of time at home (not even counting covid) and I have bad days where I feel terrible and can't do much. but I'll come back to that
I think most of us remember 2016. the year tv show runners fully embraced the bury your gays trope (and sometimes the fridging trope at the same time as a bonus!) and, by autostraddle's tally, 30 queer female characters in tv shows died. and then on top of that we had the actual real world tragedy of the pulse nightclub shootings. it was a massively depressing time all around for queer people
s5 of poi aired that year. I know people have different opinions on s5 of poi, and that's valid. I hated it. and I really intensely hated how it treated root and shaw. there aren't enough words to express how fucking angry I was after s5. or rather, there are 319,678 words.
I wrote a fic many of you may have read called sliding towards chaos that rewrote the entirety of poi from mid-s3 onwards. it got pretty popular lol. I put so much into writing it, too. it was basically a second full time job for me and a great way to take my mind off the fact I was still having health problems and all the crazy shit going on in the world (we had a presidential election in the US in 2016 :)))) it did not go well!)
i'm very proud of writing stc, and even if I think it isn't my strongest writing (which is good! improving over time is good!), it was what really connected me to a lot of other people in the fandom. I felt part of the fandom community in a way I hadn't with carmilla and it was an intensely queer community built around shared interests
one of the problems with finding queer friend groups out in the 'real world' is you're often gathering to meet based on the uniting factor of being queer, and your interests may vary greatly. fandom is amazing because it lets you find queer people who you share all these interests with and who you can bond with over them and collaborate with and that's just so so important. does fandom have a ton of issues and toxicity and bigotry? yes, absolutely. but it also has so much good to offer
through stc and later fics I became close friends with some really really cool people in the fandom (including my favorite writer and my favorite artist). these are people I'm still very close friends with. some of them I've hung out with offline and the ones I haven't are mostly because they live too far away. after years of not having my own queer circle of friends I have found one again and one I can usually participate in even with my health problems and that is such an important thing to me
on a creative front, the fic writing and the gif making I've done have both taught me an enormous amount and been a very positive part of my life. working collaboratively on comics has been one of the coolest things I've done. there is just so much good that came out of me seeing one shoot gif on tumblr dot com years ago and being like hmm looks gay I'm in
and in terms of the actual content of the show, I think a lot of the reason I was drawn to it (other than my lingering crush on fred from angel) was that root and shaw felt so uniquely and wonderfully queer in a way few f/f ships I'd seen had before. shaw being bi and reading as aro to me (I've talked about that here) and root being a chaotic computer nerd just felt so relatable to me and their relationship with each other made sense to me in a way that few others had. and the specific draw that they had for some fans probably has a lot to do with why I found friends in this fandom who I really clicked with
so yeah. I don't know how to sum this up. fandom can be a great way to find your people and engage your creativity and I think that's very sexy
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falsegoodnight Ā· 4 years ago
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hi! not sure if youā€™ve ever talked about this before, but do you have a specific writing process you follow when you write fics?? iā€™d love to hear about it if you do :)) love your fics so much!!! (p.s. feel free to ignore this if you donā€™t want to/donā€™t feel comfortable talking about it!)
hiiii! first of all, iā€™m really glad you like my fics! thank you for reading them :) and for my writing process: i think i have talked about it a couple times but i do plan on making a thorough and detailed post describing my writing process but iā€™m lazy so it keeps getting put off! for now, iā€™m copy & posting what i said for an old ask where i split it into stages and described how long each one tookĀ  (+ new notes!!)
(under the cut because i ramble)
1) idea/brainstorm
i tend to get ideas from other subject matter such as books, tv shows, movies, music, etcetera just like most people but i also get a lot of fic ideas in dreams. those actually tend to be the best ones, in my opinion. and once i get an idea and it wonā€™t leave my brain for a bit, i open up a notebook page or my notes app and write down everything i can about it (the general gist, anything specific i dreamt/wanted, etc). sometimes iā€™ll even write out a scene if i canā€™t stop thinking about it. in fact, iā€™ve based an entire fic around one written scene more than once in the past.Ā 
if iā€™m super excited, i usually end up blurting out the idea to a friend and thereā€™s just something about explaining an idea to someone else that has you fleshing it out and building upon it and then suddenly youā€™re even more excited than before--
2) outlining
this actually tends to be a relatively quick stage for me! for the most part, once i get an idea and i get inspired, the story just comes together! there may be gaps but i donā€™t worry about them yet - i just start my character profiles and a scene list! my outlines tend to be pretty detailed but they can range from around 1k to up to 5k depending on the complexity of the story, characters, and whether any worldbuilding needs to be done. and every story is different - some i just have fleshed out in my head already so i donā€™t need to work it out on paper (or, on screen, i guess) and others i need to plan out every last detail or else my brain gets too muddled trying to sort everything out. and in my experience: the longer the outline, the longer the fic.Ā 
iā€™d say typically this takes around a couple hours (for the basic outline) but i always come back to my outline frequently even when drafting, changing and tweaking things or adding/cutting things. outlines are fluid! theyā€™re meant to change and alter with new ideas and different directions :)
[edit: iā€™m just quickly going to add a:
3.5) researchĀ 
this isnā€™t for every fic but sometimes a story i want to write involves something i donā€™t have a lot of knowledge/experience for and so i always make sure to research the topic as best as i can in order to portray it as accurately as possible. of course, this is fanfiction and no one is going to grade you on how credible everything is (and they shouldnā€™t!! this is all for fun!!) but i personally really enjoy the research aspect of writing and getting to learn about things i normally wouldnā€™t ever get the chance to. iā€™m currently writing a fic thatā€™s required so much research (i have pages of notes; itā€™s ridiculous) and iā€™ve been having a lot of fun with it!! i also want to make a post about this but the main thing i try to do is find experts, whether that be from expert sources or from experts themselves on platforms such as youtube, specific websites, or even reddit and quora. the best way to learn is to learn from someone else who knows it well]
3) drafting
as expected, this stage definitely takes the longest. iā€™d say my average for writing days (as in, only counting days where i write) is around 2-3k or maybe 4k. on a really good day, i can write 6-8k (edit: havenā€™t done that in a hot second haha). the biggest streak iā€™ve had was when i wrote 40k in 4 days (ie: before we knew, which i posted the same day i finished, of course) but that is very uncommon, obviously.
so it all depends on the length of the fic and the type of story for how long drafting takes but iā€™d say majority of my fics were written either in a week (these are the shorter ones, just to clarify) or in a few weeks depending on length. one of my 50k+ fics was written in exactly 25 days (that sounds a bit like Nanawrimo but it was october) and then on the other hand, a fic that ended up at 30k-ish took me months to write - part of that was just that i wasnā€™t prioritizing it, but i also just struggled a lot with it.
(edit: so just to elaborate a bit more with challenges that are typically faced in this stage - thereā€™ll be times where i get stuck on a scene or lose motivation and then i typically jump around and move to a different scene that i feel more excited about. thatā€™s whatā€™s so helpful with outlines: they let me switch between different points of the story without getting everything jumbled or creating hordes of plot holes and inconsistencies. for more on things i do to help me write more, i answered this ask a while ago. also if i get stuck plot-wise, then i often consult a fellow writing friend or go back to my outline to work it out)Ā 
4) beta stage
i have two very lovely people who beta for me: @soldouthaz and my friend chelsea who does not have a tumblr :( (edit: she does now!! @kittenlouis :D) iā€™d say theyā€™re both pretty fast, finishing in a couple days when i need them to! but again, it depends on the fic/length/other circumstances. theyā€™re really good at catching my embarrassing typos and giving me feedback when i ask (edit: i tend to leave questions in the form of comments on google docs if i want specific input or feedback and itā€™s really helpful)Ā 
honestly i really donā€™t reread/revise my own work (i actually sort of did for my second blff though since i had the extra time so weā€™ll see if it pays off!) (edit: i think it did!) but when i go through the edits from sarah and chelsea, i do typically end up skimming scenes and making changes that i deem necessary. i do highly suggest self-editing to anyone else though because it only ever makes the story better, never hurts it. i need to get better at it myself.Ā 
i hope this gives you some sort of idea of my writing process even though itā€™s sort of a mess. feel free to ask more questions if you want me to extrapolate/elaborate anything. i wish you all the best!
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thekidultlife Ā· 5 years ago
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The Most Convenient Escape | Jihoon Soulmate!AU (5)
āŸ Pairing: Jihoon x fem!reader
āŸ AU: Fantasy/ Soulmate AU
āŸ Genre: ANGST, SLOW BURN, fluff
āŸ Warnings: mentions of abuse, drinking, and sex
āŸ Word Count:Ā 8.5k
āŸ Synopsis: For all your life, you have a deep disdain towards Soulmate Bonds, so much so that you are able to write opinions about it in a local newspaper. However, as life would have it, you wake up one day bonded to a person you hardly knew. Throwing in an investigation, annoying roommates, and a revolution looming just beneath the surface, you had to seek for the most convenient escape.
āŸ A/N: So on to the next chapter! This is probably the longest Iā€™ve written for this series! Anyway, please excuse my tarot reading skills, my knowledge is only limited to watching pick a car readings in youtube and google. Now thatā€™s out of the way, please enjoy! -Hyeri
āŸ Taglist:Ā @shoshishua, @woozisnoots (I also want to thank @minkwansĀ and @oprandomfeels for leaving such a nice messages on the tags in the previous chapter!! I dont want to sound creepy but i do comeback to them if i needed motivation to write! so thank you!!)
CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 |Ā CHAP 5 |ļæ½ļæ½ CHAP 6 |
CILVEKAN ESPIONAGE TURNS PARLIAMENT INTO A BATTLEFIELD by Jeon Wonwoo and Kwon Soonyoung
The Porta Persa Edition, October 12th
Words that break like cannon shots, arguments that burn like incendiaries, bulwarks of statements that are hardly impenetrableā€”such is a terrifying and impressive sight to behold upon the ancient halls of the Parliament in these last few weeks. The fate of the two Cilvekan agents who were previously caught in Lower Efendel had been a divisive force upon the venerated legislative body of our nation; rendering them into a heated stalemate.Ā 
Armed with wit and sound proofs, Conservatives led by Atlen County Representative Kang Jinho campaigned for stringent travel restrictions, as well as a thorough examination of all Cilvekan nationals entering and leaving Porta Persa. He contends that the security of this powerful nation must not be compromised for simple material gains.Ā 
Pointing an accusing finger at the trading and tourism industry which has seen immense growth in profits due to the inflow of foreign immigrants and visitors into the country, Conservatives have been critical of lax travel regulations over the years in which they view, as in Rep. Kangā€™s words, as a means for ā€˜alien entitiesā€™ to ā€˜wreak havocĀ in this peaceful landā€™ and ā€˜further their covert operations to diminish and weaken the stability of Porta Persaā€™. According to Rep. Kang, it is rightfully so that sacrifices are to be made to ensure that no foreign powers would dare to assert their influence over this country.Ā 
On the other side of the argument lie Santaragossa Assembly Representative Lee Jihoon, the flagship of both Libertarians and Moderates on this matter, who, with his rapid fire responses, have advocated for softer regulations and an extensive counterintelligence program instead.Ā 
In his speech to Congress today, Rep. Lee disputes that economic factors are hardly simple, and should not be diminished into mere ā€˜increase of gainsā€™. In his words ā€˜There are people who, if harsher travel restrictions are thus placed, will be left for wild dogs to eat, for the weather to beat and rattle their bones on the cold earth. With no means of a livelihood to provide for themselves, what will become of them? For us who have a roof to sleep in, and food on the table to eat, it is easy for us to say that travel restrictions are a minor inconvenience. Yet for these people, harsher travel restrictions are equivalent to a death sentence.ā€™
He further advocates for a better counterintelligence program wherein proper and stronger defenses are to be implemented only at the appropriate areas, as this is not only cost effective, but also ensures that the livelihood and the human rights of all people in Porta Persa, whether be citizen, immigrant, tourist and whatnots are protected and veneratedā€¦
ā—‡
ā€œLee Jihoon was truly frightening during that session. I swear to god, sitting there feels like heā€™s attacking me personally.ā€
Unlike the usual, the three of you were not relaxing comfortably outside the lush courtyards of the Royal Academy, eating carefully prepared lunches and enjoying the view. Instead, late morning sunlight poured from the open windows, illuminating the wooden desk and chair you were sitting on, silently listening to your friends.
To your right, sat said friends: Wonwoo and Soonyoung who were fresh from the printers, the rancid smell of ink sticking to their regal school uniform. On Soonyoungā€™s hands was the freshly printed draft of your newspaper, which was to be released the next day.Ā 
He folded the newspaper and tossed it beside you on the desk.Ā 
ā€œHeā€™s been like that for what? A week now, I reckon?ā€Ā 
ā€œTwo, in my opinion.ā€ Wonwoo answered, adjusting his glasses. He was the calmer kind of fellow. Soonyoung was more theatrical.Ā 
ā€œOh good god, itā€™s been two weeks already?ā€ Soonyoung exclaimed, his lips ajar. ā€œNo wonder Y/N is here all the time!ā€
Wonwoo glanced at you, who simply turned away and faced the open window. ā€œWhy are you here exactly?ā€
You continued to grind Alizarin berries on your portable mortar and pestle with a nonchalant look on your face. ā€œIā€™m making your allergy medicine.ā€
ā€œNot yesterday and in the last few weeks,ā€ Wonwoo retorted back, giving you an inquisitive look. ā€œNow tell me, is it because of Lee Jihoon?ā€Ā 
Groaning, you continued to pour all of your irritation at the poor powdered berries in your mortar. ā€œMust the reason always be Lee Jihoon?ā€Ā 
ā€œWell, why are you here then?ā€ Soonyoung shrugged, glancing at you with raised brows.Ā 
Exasperated, you sighed and left the mortar and pestle alone for once. In all honesty, the reason was indeed Lee Jihoon. After he saw your breakdown two weeks ago, you were avoiding him at all cost because you knew he was going to ask you about it and you were not one to divulge such sensitive topics.Ā 
Of course, you wouldnā€™t let them know. ā€œThe way my room looks is just nauseating.ā€Ā 
Soonyoung made an incredulous frown while Wonwoo snorted.Ā 
ā€œRight.ā€ They both said.
Having childhood friends has its own disadvantages: you couldnā€™t really hide anything from them. Yet you wouldnā€™t tell them anything for that matter. Your room was indeed nauseating, spinning around and around as your vision blur if you just stay in one position for far too long.The way your stomach churns and your legs buckle because of the amount of suppressants you were taking to block your soulmate connection was something you simply cannot express into words.Ā 
You stare at the red powder inside the mortar. The smell was making you lurch, reminding you of the suppressant, yet you expertly concealed it with a cough and a broad change of subject.Ā 
ā€œArenā€™t we supposed to go somewhere today?ā€ you asked, adding more berries to the mortar.Ā 
ā€œNo, itā€™s on Friday, 3pm,ā€ Wonwoo replied, checking his travel sized planner. ā€œFor some time, Soonyoung and I have been tracing documents from Luce Trading to see if they could give us some clues. But most of them inexplicably got lost or destroyed from last yearā€™s flooding, but thankfully, Soonyoung found some in a novelty shop.ā€Ā 
Upon hearing, you quirked a brow at them. ā€œThat is quite interesting. It is possible that something important is in those documents, especially when they had deemed it necessary to destroy them. It seems like fortune is on our side today.ā€
Wonwoo nodded. ā€œExactly my thoughts.ā€
ā€œI reckon, those documents can finally settle the question of who their actual victims are,ā€ the other male remarked with a considerate nod. ā€œWe can actually take a step forward in this investigation!ā€
You forced a smile. Truly, you were elated but the way your heart was palpitating wasn't feeling that great to you. Wonwoo adjusted his glasses once more, a habit he has acquired whenever he was thinking of something.
"Quite frankly, I still haven't forgotten what Jihoon had told me a few months ago," he started, fidgeting with his hands. "And god knows if he's telling me the truth or throwing us off the scent."Ā 
"Oh that one..." Soonyoung exclaimed, nodding. You glanced at the two of them, looking betrayed.Ā 
"Why have I no knowledge of this?" You asked, eyes shooting daggers.Ā 
The two boys quickly exchanged glances and panicked.
"You haven't told Y/N?" Wonwoo asked the other male, who was beginning to pout.Ā 
"Whatā€¦I thought you told Y/N!" He replied, pointing at you.Ā 
What seemed like a little misunderstanding was going to become a lot of bickering later on, so as you rolled your eyes, you put yourself between the two of them.Ā 
"Alright, enough. Just tell me what Lee Jihoon said," you spoke sternly, hands on your hips.
ā€œItā€™s not as straightforward as you think,ā€ Wonwoo recounted. ā€œJihoon kept going in circles about our newspaper, Alex Fireflowerā€”ā€
ā€œMe?ā€ you exclaimed, furrowing your brow.
ā€œYes, you. And the Gestalt case,ā€ Wonwoo continued, acknowledging you. ā€œAt first, I was under the impression that he was simply inquiring what my thoughts were with regards to the Gestalt case as a fellow classmate, yet as it turned out, he appears to be hinting that it was a suicide case.ā€
A bewildered look was what you gave him, not understanding how a blatantly homicide case could possibly be a suicide. ā€œI need you to expound further than that.ā€
Your friend shrugged. ā€œThatā€™s where the problem lies. We know that the Gestalts might be involved in the sex trafficking ring due to the judicial records weā€™ve discovered before, yet to what extent is a matter we have no knowledge of.ā€
ā€œOh, yes, that tax evasion case filed against Luce Trading that was suddenly dismissed by court with no apparent reasonā€¦it seems malicious, yet I still doubt that it should be considered a connection to the syndicateā€ Soonyoung remarked.Ā 
ā€œThose things usually happen yet everything involved in this case should be accounted for. Even including the possibility of it being a suicide,ā€ Wonwoo continued.Ā 
ā€œYet logistically speaking, how can it possibly be a suicide?ā€ You asked, clearly unconvinced. ā€œLee Jihoon is merely giving us chaff.ā€
ā€œThat is the reason why I cannot just stop thinking about it. Itā€™s perplexing.ā€Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re just doing mental exercises, Wonwoo,ā€ you dismissed him. ā€œTrusting Lee Jihoon is definitely not advisable. Heā€™s a politician. We might be unaware that he is in fact a part of that syndicate, and is simply playing cat and mouse with us.ā€
Wonwoo heaved a long sigh, leaning against the bedpost. ā€œThat, I wonā€™t deny.ā€
ā€œRather than running on conjectures, we should proceed with the investigation instead,ā€ Soonyoung interrupted solemnly. ā€œWe simply do not have the entire narrative.ā€
"I completely agree," you replied, leaning against the table as you go through another wave of stomach cramps with much composure. "Let'sā€¦lay out what we know first."Ā 
The two of them nodded at you, which you considered a signal to begin.
"So, we know that some government officials are involved in a sex trafficking scheme. Why do we know that?"Ā 
Soonyoung answered. "Because Wonwoo unintentionally eavesdropped a conversation between his father and a parliament member, who was trying to ask him to vote against the amendment of the Soulmate bond."Ā 
"He offered my father membership to the syndicate among other thingsā€¦" Wonwoo quietly continued, perusing his thoughts.Ā 
"Right. We know that the Gestalt case is somewhat related to the syndicate. Why?"Ā 
"For one, that parliament member who had attempted to lobby for my father's vote was asking him to vote against the amendment which has stemmed from the Gestalt case. It could possibly be a stretch but we should not deny it."Ā 
Nodding, you continued. "And the fact that we had found out that Rene Gestalt had already died right after the High Court suspension. And had died under a different name and under a mysterious circumstance."
"If Rene Gestalt was a simple nobody, he wouldnā€™t have died in that manner," Soonyoung added. "And that tax evasion case shouldn't have been dismissed so easily."
"Luce Trading is more profitable than Kwon International, isn't it?" You asked, but Soonyoung immediately replied.
"Hey now! We had better sales for the past decade!"Ā 
You giggled, "Alright, my apologies."Ā 
"I still find it hard to fit the pieces though," Wonwoo interrupted. "Why Luce Trading? Why did Himi Gestalt die but not Rene? What exactly happened?"
The three of you exchanged glances.
"We need more information."
You leaned back, sighing as you felt the heaviness of the possible truth you have in your hands. Wonwoo and Soonyoung were pretty much the same. Thatā€™s why, more than anything, you didnā€™t want any sort of distraction, especially those that involve soulmate bonds.
ā€œIn the meantime, Y/N,ā€ Wonwoo began, giving Soonyoung a look and then the two gazed at you with concerned expressions. ā€œAre you truly, definitely, a hundred percent, alright?ā€Ā 
You knitted your brows, and immediately replied. ā€œIā€™ve never been better.ā€
ā€œNoā€¦! No, what we meant isā€¦ā€ Soonyoung was the one who responded. ā€œYouā€¦you fought with your father, didnā€™t you?ā€
It was a sudden inquiry, you can admit that, but you were not at least surprised they had asked. Your father mustā€™ve gone to Soonyoungā€™s father and then they informed him of the matter.Ā 
ā€œA few weeks ago, yes,ā€ you told them, nonchalant as you added more berries to the mortar. ā€œI have decided to cut ties with him once and for all. Heā€™s nothing to me now.ā€
You noticed that they were taken aback, but it was an expected reaction. The decision was indeed done in the heat of the moment, yet you didnā€™t feel anymore remorseful.Ā 
ā€œYou do not have to worry about me. I have you two, and our newspaper is doing quite well in sales,ā€ you reassured them. ā€œCutting him off is simply removing dead weight off my shoulders.ā€
Without any warning, Soonyoung pulled you to a tight embrace and Wonwoo followed soon after. You simply stayed still in surprise, as they continued to console you silently, knowing that you didnā€™t need any words to make you feel better.Ā 
ā€œY/N, please know that we will always be here for you,ā€ Wonwoo began. ā€œWeā€™ve been together since we were children, and weā€™ll always will be.ā€
ā€œIf you wish to get something off your chest, we are always here to listen. You donā€™t have to carry everything by yourself.ā€
You grimaced at this, but hid it easily by burying yourself underneath their embrace. Youā€™ll tell them everything someday, but now, you simply wish to brave the storm by yourself.
ā€œI will.ā€
ā—‡
"Jihoon!"
Heavy footfalls echo across the marbled hallways of the Parliament. Rows of white columns line up on the curve, the view of Porta Persa easily seen with just one turn of a head.
"Jihoon, please wait for a moment!"
Harsh steps that march through with controlled frustration, and another set which was running after them. Nobody was on sight other than two men who were adorned by their heavy purple robes, billowing with the wind.
"Lee Jihoon!"Ā 
"What is it ?!" The other snapped, his eyes piercing and intense.
The Minister of Foreign Affairs sighed, his demeanor tinged with concern. The whole Parliament hearing was tense and unnerving, and Lee Jihoon seemed to be in the middle of the swirling storm.Ā 
"I simply wanted to see if you are doing well," Joshua offered, his voice calm, yet the other simply scoffed.
"What do you suppose?" he replied, his tone filled with frustration and sarcasm. "If we lose next week's vote, it'll be all over!"Ā 
Joshua reached out for Jihoon's shoulder, trying to help the other through his temper.Ā 
"Alright Jihoon, listen to me. We still have time. We can still convince the others to vote against the bill."Ā 
"But we need fifty more votes! Where in heaven's name are we going to find those?" He exclaimed and then groaned, resounding through the deserted hall.
"You need to calm down, Jihoon!" Joshua reminded, shaking some sense into him. "You're making a mountain out of a mole hill!"
The dark haired male blinked, stunned by the sudden loudness of his friend's voice. The high had finally subsided in his veins as he huffed and removed himself from Joshua's grasps.Ā 
"Jihoonā€¦"
"I apologize. I'm simply exhausted," he replied, sighing as he turned his back to the other. "While this issue has been particularly draining, my soulmate bond is eating my energy away as well."Ā 
Joshua blinked, wondering what was the matter this time. They had left Jihoon in his dorm room that day as instructed, yet for some reason after that, he seemed to have become more snappish and gloomy.Ā 
Jihoon sighed once more, probably the nth time for today.Ā 
"Sheā€¦she was crying when she arrived, you know. I have no inkling as to why but it did hurt meā€¦seeing her like that," he continued, now more to himself than to Joshua. "I wanted to comfort her or do something, anythingā€¦but she pushed me away, both physically and mentally. It's been weighing on me since then."
Without a word, Joshua walked towards him and placed an understanding tap on his shoulder. "I wish I can offer you some help."
At this point, Jihoon simply shook his head with a downcast smile. "There is nothing we can do about it if she doesn't want me."Ā 
Those words, as he said it, felt more painful than he had anticipated. Yet that was the truthā€”she had blocked him, in more ways than one. Jihoon wished he knew why yet he had already spent enough sleepless nights on it that he didn't need more.
"In the meantime, it would be nice if we had those fifty votes before the weekend."
ā—‡
Oct. 14thĀ 
Desmere District, Porta Persa
"So, it's here?" You asked, standing in front of a decrepit shop, flanked by two of your friends. "Are you sure it's here?"Ā 
You werenā€™t really one to judge but the way the roof shingles were about to fall, the dull green paint peeling off the door, and the dusty shop window filled by various junk accumulated over the years, was telling a rather clear story.Ā 
You could evenĀ  hardly read the name of the shop.Ā 
ā€œ52nd Oppleton street, Esmond Novelty Shopā€¦.Yes, without a doubt this is the one!ā€ Soonyoung replied cheerfully, grinning ear to ear, ā€œCome on now! No time to waste!ā€Ā 
Wonwoo glanced at you with a knowing look as he followed after Soonyoung through the door. Today seemed to be one of those days where Wonwoo was in a rather irritatingly playful mood. ā€œYou heard him. No time to waste now, Y/N.ā€
It wasnā€™t new for you to be the victim of their teasing, but you didnā€™t appreciate it either when it comes. Thus, as you rolled your eyes and pursed your lips, you threw your hesitation out of the window. Following closely behind, you heard the charming bell chime above you as soon as you entered, yet the dust which wafted through the air was not as charming as you had feared.
ā€œWelcome to our shop! Feel free to look around and see if anything suits your fancy!ā€ A male voice greeted you three, though you cannot make out a clear image of him as he seemed to be covered by the centuries old dust.Ā 
ā€œAh, weā€™re actually looking for someoneā€¦ā€ Soonyoung replied, fishing a piece of parchment inside the pocket of his vest. ā€œUmā€¦a Madame Adora?ā€Ā 
While the three of you seemed to be unsure, the tall burly man, which you have now seen after the dust has settled, nodded in understanding.Ā 
ā€œYes, yes. Please follow me. Her shop is at the back,ā€ he replied and turned around, not waiting for you to respond.Ā 
Exchanging curious glances, you followed close behindā€”carefully studying your surroundings as you did. There were a lot of books for one. Stacks upon stacks of leather tomes piled on top of another which was rather deadly if one wrong move was made. The shopkeeper, seemingly used to this dangerous environment, easily navigated his way through the path provided.Ā 
There were a lot of miscellaneous items as well: old shoes, typewriters, some ornate desks which were long forgotten. Dirty porcelain dolls, dull grey candelabras, and even a baby grand piano covered with various knickknacksā€”essentially, this was a shop of extras: once loved, tossed away and buried under the sands of time. Their fate seemed to have given you a melancholic mood, yet there is little you can do to change it.Ā 
ā€œWhere do you find all of these?ā€ Wonwoo asked, curious as he perused over an old book about outdated potions.Ā 
ā€œThere are numerous ways,ā€ the man shrugged, dodging a stray pole which was protruding from a pile of junk. ā€œSometimes we buy them from people who move houses, sometimes they just give it to us, and some just find their way here.ā€
His words immediately reminded you of the thought that objects do have souls in them. They used to be someoneā€™s important thing; they were once given meaning and context by the people who used to own them. This place had become their new home now, amidst the sea of other objects that were no different.
A light knock on wood snatched you from your thoughts as you averted your attention back to the matter at hand. The shopkeeper had stopped in front of a slightly ajar door, peeking carefully at the space.Ā 
ā€œMadame, these people wish to speak to you,ā€ he called out, yet he was met by silence and a rather loud creaking of a chair being moved. A grainy ā€œlet them inā€ soon followed, though you were not as sure since it was just above a murmur.
Nodding, the shopkeeper moved and allowed you space to walk inside the room. With rather modest postures, the three of you silently entered in file, easily spotting a worn out loveseat, which was probably a bright emerald in its youth, to sit on. It was a rather small space, enough to be a breakfast room, with second hand furniture and astrology-related objects littered around to give a sense of mystique.Ā 
ā€œRobert, fetch those documents for me please,ā€ the old woman ordered, who you hardly noticed with how she was almost covered by the wooden desk before her. The shopkeeper, who was apparently named Robert hummed and disappeared, closing the door shut.Ā 
As soon as he was gone, you scooted on your seat to take a closer look of the old woman. Just as you had anticipated, Madame Adora was petit, but was made to look larger by her bulky dress adorned by stars and moons embroidered in metallic thread. It had the same fabric as her headpiece which was wrapped around her head like a towel. The one which caught most of your attention however, was the large dangling sun and moon earrings which were as big as her head. You wondered if they were as heavy as they looked.Ā 
ā€œUmā€¦weā€™reā€”ā€ Wonwoo began but was instantly halted by the Madame with just one hand.Ā 
ā€œI know what you seek, my dear children,ā€ she began, her voice croaky. Probably from smoking a bit too much; you thought as you noticed the ashtray on her table next to the burning sage.Ā 
The three of you raised your eyebrows, wondering what Madame Adora couldā€™ve meant by her words. She seemed to be the eccentric type, and you wouldnā€™t be surprised if she busted out tarot cards and a crystal ball any minute.Ā 
ā€œYou are on your path to fulfill a great purpose for humanity. It is a fate neither you nor this country can avoid,ā€ she continued, making you glance at Wonwoo and Soonyoung. You wanted to ask them if she was sane, but out of courtesy, you decided to keep your mouth shut.Ā 
ā€œO-Of courseā€¦thatā€”thatā€™s what weā€™re trying to do,ā€ Soonyoung replied awkwardly as he shifted on his seat. ā€œBut we do need toā€”ā€
ā€œYet be cautioned. This path does not offer refuge nor solace for the tired and weary. You will be accompanied by danger, deceit and the deep dark evils of this world. You will face adversaries stronger and larger than you had anticipated. Poke the bear, and its claws shall appear. Be strong and always seek for the truth.ā€
ā€œUhā€¦yes, of course,ā€ you replied, ending with uncertainty. ā€œSo the documentsā€”ā€
ā€œAh, yes. Robert will be here soon,ā€ she interrupted yet again. ā€œWhile we wait, would any of you like a tarot reading?ā€Ā 
ā€œT-tarot reading?ā€ Soonyoung exclaimed, as he leaned forward, not sure if he had heard it right.Ā 
What a surprise. You simply smiled.
Interrupting your gloating, Soonyoung suddenly nudged you with his elbow, making you look at him.Ā 
ā€œWhat?ā€ you asked, your voice a whisper.Ā 
ā€œY-you do it, Y/N!ā€ He replied, his expression not betraying the fact that he was a bit afraid.Ā 
ā€œWhat? Me? Of course not! Do you suppose I believe in such buffoonery?ā€
ā€œNow, now. Itā€™s just tarot cards, what harm could it possibly do to you? Attack you with a paper cut?ā€ Soonyoung immediately replied, even though he was the one who got frightened first.
ā€œSoonyoung is right, Y/N,ā€ Wonwoo joined in, though you knew he was trying to gang up on you. ā€œBesides, you wouldnā€™t be so cruel to deny this poor woman an income, would you?ā€
You closed your eyes, and breathed inā€”incredibly irritated by this game Wonwoo was playing today. However, you just didnā€™t have the energy to pick up a fight with how your stomach was beginning to churn once again; the suppressants returning with a vengeance after the pain relievers had worn off.
ā€œFine then! Iā€™ll do it,ā€ you seethed through gritted teeth as you stood up and walked towards the old woman. ā€œIā€™ll do it.ā€
Now much closer, you saw Madame Adora smile warmly at you, which made you feel a bit guilty for getting angry. Sighing, you turn your gaze down to the wooden desk, unable to look into her eyes.Ā 
ā€œBoys,ā€ the Madame suddenly called in her raspy voice. ā€œRobert is waiting for you in the other room to look at the documents. Your friend will join you shortly.ā€
At this development, both Wonwoo and Soonyoung glanced at you, asking if it was alright for them to leave you. You smiled at them encouragingly. Youā€™ll be fine. Itā€™s just a tarot reading.
ā€œPlease donā€™t start without me,ā€ you turned to them as they left the room. ā€œIā€™m looking at you Kwon Soonyoung.ā€
Your friend simply grinned and gave you a salute. ā€œAye, aye!ā€
When the door was finally shut and you were left alone with the old woman, you glanced at her, wondering what was about to happen, or if she was going to do something.
ā€œWhatā€™s your name, my dear?ā€ she asked, something you hadnā€™t expected.
ā€œUhā€¦Iā€™m Y/N,ā€ you soon replied, fiddling with a stray lock. You tried to deduce what the Madame was thinking, but nothing came to mind. She was eccentric and unpredictable; there was no use trying to predict the next set of events.
ā€œWell then, please take a seat, Y/N,ā€ she offered the armchair beside you which you quickly sat on. ā€œIs this your first time getting a reading?ā€
ā€œYes, Iā€¦ā€ you tried to evaluate your next words. ā€œIā€™ve never been to a shop like this before.ā€Ā 
She simply chuckled at you, pulling out a deck of cards from a drawer. ā€œI understand, dear. We readers are few in number, yet believe it or not, just like magical practitioners, it is necessary for us to have proper licenses.ā€Ā 
With the new information, you raised your brows and nodded, wondering why you havenā€™t known of this field before. As you continue to swim in your thoughts, Madame Adora began waving the smoking sage around the area.Ā 
Knowing your curious look, she gave a small smile. ā€œTo cleanse the space, my dear. Sometimes we carry residual energy from people, objects or situations. It is necessary to cleanse before we begin the reading, so we can only pick up your own energy.ā€
Nodding once more, you didnā€™t really know what she was talking about. You were no magi, and your knowledge of magic was limited to alchemy and potions, which was grounded more into the material world than the metaphysical.Ā 
ā€œAlright then. What kind of reading do you wish to do?ā€ She asked and you only gave her a blank lookā€”completely innocent to the kind of readings a reader could perform.Ā 
Without you needing to say a word, the Madame nodded in understanding and explained it to you.Ā 
ā€œA reading, in its base form, is a medium to provide some clarity. The Universe itself provides the answers. So if there is a question, a situation which you wish to seek clarity on, then we could begin with that.ā€Ā 
Even before the old woman had finished talking, your head was already turning gears and cogwheels. You wanted to ask about the syndicate and the investigative reporting you were doing, yet for some reason, a niggling feeling inside of you was telling you it wasnā€™t the right question to ask.Ā 
So you searched for it, concentrating on the feeling that you knew you could trust. However, at the end,Ā  you were surprised to where it had led you. You didnā€™t want to ask about it. It was done, it was there. It didnā€™t matter anymore. But you felt it. It was so strong that it made shivers creep under your skin. You know you needed to hear it.Ā 
You sighed. Itā€™s just a tarot reading. No harm done.Ā 
ā€œIā€¦uhā€¦ā€ you gazed downwards, finding your wrist wrapped in ribbon to be quite fascinating; deciding for one last time if this was indeed the decision you were making.
ā€œMyā€¦uh, soulmate bond.ā€
You were not sure if she had heard you with how small your voice sounded, but there was no way you would repeat yourself. The way you finally said those words out loud felt like some sort of acceptance; an acknowledgement that a soulmate bond existed between you and that person. Before, it felt like it was simply a figment of your imagination.
To your surprise, the Madame nodded at you, smiling proudly. ā€œThen it shall be. Let us begin.ā€
You nodded back, watching as she began to expertly shuffle the cards.Ā 
ā€œI will be doing a simple spread for you. A first card or cards would explain your energy, and then his energy. Afterwards, your strengths and weaknesses, then the state of this connection. Finally, we will be asking for the future of your soulmate connection.ā€
Unaware of how specific tarot can be, you only stared at her quite agile hands, not fully understanding everything.Ā 
ā€œPlease be reminded, dear that energies do change. What is shown here is simply the current energy of the soulmate bond. You and your soulmate still do have the agency to change your future, yet for now, this is what it is.ā€
You definitely liked the sound of that. If tarot had been in any way fatalistic, you wouldā€™ve soured on it in an instant. You always believed that you had some semblance of control over your life, or at least you wanted to.Ā 
Quietly, the Madame began drawing out cards, mostly cards which jumped out while she was shuffling. As she began to neatly arrange the cards into a grid-like form, you watched out for any reaction or expression from her. As it turned out, the most you could get was a slight raise of a brow.Ā 
When it was all done, she flipped the deck over and placed it beside the spread. Peering overing, you saw that there were a lot of cards, some were upright and the others upside down. You wondered what these all meant.
ā€œWell then, my dear,ā€ she spoke to you, glancing all over the spread and then nodded in understanding. ā€œLet us begin with your energyā€”Eight of Swords, Queen of Swords reversed and the Hermit reversed.ā€
ā€œAre those good or bad?ā€ you asked, curious, yet the old woman simply tightened her lips.
ā€œWhat I could say is that, you may seem to be trapped in your situation right now, whatever your situation may be. Look at this woman in the Eight of Swords,ā€ she replied, holding out the card to you. ā€œ She is blindfolded and surrounded by these swords. She seems to be trapped and imprisoned. It could be your thoughts or what you are telling yourself, as swords symbolizes our mind and how we communicate. You could be suffering from self-doubt.ā€
Taking in her words, you could feel a lump forming in your chest, knowing that she was indeed right.Ā 
ā€œAnd then we have the Queen of Swords, which is you. When she is upright, she is a force to be reckoned with: intelligent, independent and the speaker of truth, however dear, we have her in reverse, which only shows the shadow side of this energy. The Hermit in reverse is telling me the same thing. My dear, I must apologize, yet this is what I see. As you continue to trap yourself with negative thoughts, you are slowly closing off your heart, becoming coldhearted and bitter, leading you into more loneliness and isolation. Whatever has caused you to become like this was incredibly painful that you have been pushed into fear, creating these defensive walls which then became the swords blindsiding you at this moment.ā€
You were silent, knowing full well what the old woman was talking about. You wanted to be angry at her for speaking a truth you were trying to avoid all this time, yet there was only sadness in your heart.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m so sorry dear, but this is what the cards say, but please rest assured that your energy could still change. Considering the strengths of this connection, I have high hopes that this soulmate bond will succeed,ā€ Madame Adora consoled you, seeing the deep hurt in your eyes.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s fine,ā€ you replied, swallowing the bile forming in your throat. ā€œPlease continue.ā€
Hesitantly, the Madame moved to the two cards beside the first ones she had read. ā€œFor your soulmateā€™s energy: the Two of Pentacles in reverse and the Hierophant.ā€
ā€œAs for now, your soulmate is in an imbalance. Look at how this person is trying to juggle the two pentacles in the card. He could hardly balance them at all. It could possibly be that your soulmate finds it difficult to manage their career and this connection with you, as this is a pentacles card which usually pertains to finances and the material world. Or, it could possibly be that they cannot find the balance between their traditional values and the constantly changing world with the Hierophant. Their views are definitely being challenged by you and your connection. Nevertheless, they seem to have felt your withdrawal and decided to focus on their career instead, which has now become two burdens on their shoulders.ā€
Making a downcast look, you felt guilty for making him feel that way. If he had indeed felt your pain through the bond, then he was no better than you. He was hurt too and the thought of you unintentionally inflicting pain on someone was something you were not keen on.Ā 
ā€œNow then, letā€™sĀ  move to the strengths of this connection with the Chariot and Strength cards, which are incredibly powerful cards to have. Even this whole spread is powerful, considering how much Major Arcana you have.ā€
You leaned your head to the side. ā€œOh, isā€¦is that so?ā€
ā€œYes. The Major Arcana holds more significance than the Minor Arcana, that is why having numerous cards from this suit could mean that this connection could be life changing for the both of you. With that said, having the Chariot and Strength implies that the both of you have a tremendous amount of strength and willpower. You and your soulmate are influential people who will stop at nothing to achieve your goals. That is why, even through all the pain and difficulties this bond will bring, this connection will survive.ā€
Not knowing what to make of that, you simply nodded. You were unsure if you do want this connection to survive. You hardly know your soulmate and you had no interest in doing so. You had long abandoned the idea that you will find love in a soulmate bond.
ā€œWell now, look here, Y/N. I have been called upon to draw three cards for the weaknesses of this connection. We have the Five of Swords, the Nine of Swords in reverse and the High Priestess in reverse,ā€ she continued, showing you the three cards.
ā€œAt this moment, there is conflict and disagreement in this connection. It could possibly be that the both of you have fought and that was the reason for your stagnant energy and his withdrawal, and with the Nine of Swords in reverse, usually this card means your anxieties and fears, and in reverse, it could be a release of those negative energies. However, in this reading, it seems like the both of you are hiding this inner turmoil in your hearts. Look at the image here,ā€ the Madame pointed at the Nine of Swords.
ā€œThe woman is crying on her bed at night while these swords loom above herā€”she is crying alone, only the night is her companion, when everyone else is asleep and oblivious to her pain. In a way, you both are mirroring each other. You try to keep this conflict in your heart, making you feel disenchanted with this connection. You had lost hope of finding this love you seek. They on the other hand, try to bury themselves in their career or material possessions. They want stability and a sense of normalcy, yet cannot find it. The Universe has been providing divine guidance, yet with the High Priestess in reverse, the both of you cannot hear or perceive the signs.ā€
ā€œThis is further clarified with the Hanged Man and the Tower, both in reverse. These two cards represent the state of this connection, which further confirms the stagnation and fear of change in this connection. I felt this in the beginning when I was tapping to your energy, but dear, have you been blocking your soulmate bond?ā€
For some reason, you could only look at her and speak no words. There was fear in your eyes and guilt in your gut. It felt like you had done something unforgivable. You cast a glare to your arm, unable to utter any words of admittance.Ā 
ā€œDear, may I see your wrist?ā€ Madame Adora asked softly. You were hesitant at first but eventually gave in, pulling the ribbon that was wrapped around your wrist and placed it on the table.Ā 
Gently, she examined the dull black bars on your skin as you watched curiously. You would ask what she was doing if she hadnā€™t begun speaking once again.Ā 
ā€œYou are in pain, dear. Deep, deep pain you need to heal from. Itā€™s not a fresh wound, but scars inflicted from so long ago yet continuously being pried open over the years. You keep on ignoring, burying these scars, hoping that time would help it heal someday,ā€ she said, her fingers on the marks.Ā 
ā€œYet when this soulmate bond came, it had forced you to face them even if you have no wish to, even if you were not ready to. This bond is making your fears rise to the surfaceā€”the fear of heartbreak and of disappointment. Thus, instead of waiting for someone else to do this to you, you decided to nip it in the bud. You try to convince yourself that you wish to be alone, that you are comfortable alone, yet deep inside you, you long for someone to share the heaviness which weighs down your heart.ā€Ā 
Without even realizing, you had furrowed your brows and was glaring at the offending soulmate mark on your skin. There was a feeling deep inside you which refuses to accept the old woman's words. It was too painful to acknowledge the yearning that was deeply-rooted in your heart. It was too embarrassing to say that you had made a mistake.
You were simply protecting yourself. Those scars had long healed itself. You had already cut ties with your father and that was the end of the story. There is nothing more to talk about. There was no need to face any more of this. There is no need to reconcile with your soulmate.Ā 
Gritting your teeth, you could sense anger rise deep inside of you.Ā 
ā€œBut dear let me reassure you that despite everything, you will come together in the end. For the future of this connection, you have the Two of Cups which signifies a union. It is my soulmate card because as you can see, these two people are sharing, exchanging cupsā€”ā€
ā€”!!
You slammed your fist on the table abruptly, the cards jumping in disarray. Madame Adora looked at you sadly as you snatched your wrist away, holding it close to your chest. Your eyes were burning with rage, yet the old woman knew that that anger was rooted from deep longing and sadness.
ā€œI donā€™t want it,ā€ you muttered in a low voice, and then, after a short pause, began shouting as if it would relieve the guilt in your chest. ā€œI donā€™t want it! I donā€™t want this! Could you please leave me alone!ā€
Without waiting for a reply, you ran out from the room, from the shop. You were in no capacity to continue the investigation with your friends when you are in this state of instability. You just want to leave and disappear for a while.Ā 
Just for a while.
ā—‡
Back inside the room, Madame Adora was greeted by Soonyoung and Wonwoo, who were surprised to know that you had left running out of the shop.Ā 
ā€œAh, did Y/N lose her temper again?ā€ Wonwoo asked as he had heard you shouting earlier. ā€œWe must apologize, Madame.ā€
ā€œNo, it is I who wishes for your pardon. I must have hurt your friend,ā€ she replied. ā€œPlease give this to her as an apology.ā€Ā 
The two men watched as the Madame pulled out a small box from one of the deskā€™s drawers and placed it on the table. They wondered what the Madame had said in the reading that made you lose composure.Ā 
ā€œWe will deliver this to her immediately,ā€ Soonyoung replied as he took the box and dropped it inside his pocket. ā€œAnd thank you for the documents.ā€
ā€œIt is meant for you. I had been called upon to buy the desk which it was stored in, and when you came to this shop in search for such an item, I knew it was meant for this purpose,ā€ Madame Adora replied, intertwining her fingers together. ā€œBut more than that, please watch over Y/N.ā€
Both Wonwoo and Soonyoung exchanged glances. ā€œW-we will.ā€
ā€œSimply watch over her and give her support. She is going through something which only she can resolve.ā€
As the Madame said those words, her gaze was caught by the single card by her side. It was the card at the back of the deckā€”usually meant to summarize the energy of the whole reading.Ā 
It was the Lovers.
ā—‡
It was already dreadfully dark when you had decided to return to your dorm room.
The wisteria trees were already a midnight grey, the unlit path, a dark purple. Only a few streetlamps offered illumination through the pitch-black night as you waded through the campus in silence.
You took your time aloneā€”wandering on random alleyways, sitting on deserted park benches, watching people pass by as they live their own lives, with their own problems. Nothing seemed real during those hours of isolation in the midst of the crowd. It was like the pain was too far away for you to reach; the events from that afternoon too far away to be reality.
Yet you knew you needed to return somehow. Thus, with eyes exhausted from crying tears unshed, and the ribbon you used to conceal your soulmate bond in your hands, you opened the door to your dorm room and saw its gauche splendor in shameless display.
With a sigh, you wrapped the ribbon on your wrist haphazardly, not caring if not seemed sloppy as long as the black bars were far from your sight.
Walking to the common room, you scanned the area for your roommate, wondering if he was asleep or still at his office on a Friday night. It would be better if you didnā€™t see him, you thought. There would be less explaining to do.
Yet the common room was depressingly empty. It had occurred to you that you never even spent much time in there as much as you wouldā€™ve liked. Was it simply because you were avoiding him or you were just not interested in sharing the same space with him, you didnā€™t know.
As you move past the wooden dining table and towards the kitchenette for a glass of water, you bumped into something fleshy and soft which definitely made you shriek and fall onto the floor in a painful thud.
ā€œWhatā€¦on earth?ā€ you muttered, gradually coming down from your sudden adrenaline rush, your sight refocusing.
To your astonishment, you found one Lee Jihoon lying on the floor, obviously drunk by the whisky which was once inside the bottle he was clinging on to for dear life. Apprehensively, you crawled towards him, to check if he was still breathing. Yet before you could touch him, his dark brown eyes were on to you, still cold and jaded as the nights of December.
ā€œJihoonā€”ā€œ
You were about to reprimand him for bringing in prohibited alcohol inside the dorms and for sleeping on the floor during a cold autumn day, when you realized that his skin was red. Bright red.
Concern immediately shoots up to your brain as you reach out to him.
ā€œJihoon!ā€ You exclaimed, shaking him to sobriety. ā€œJihoon! Are you intolerant to alcohol?ā€
Despite your concern, he could only hum groggily. ā€œItā€™sā€¦fine.ā€
ā€œWhat do you mean ā€˜itā€™s fineā€™? How many bottles have you drunk?!ā€ You asked, looking around and saw several bottles of the same whisky he was holding. ā€œOh god, you even chose one with high alcohol content! You shouldnā€™t be drinking this.ā€
ā€œItā€™sā€¦fine, Y/N. I only had a fewā€¦ just a fewā€¦ā€
He simply groaned in reply, lying comfortably on the floor without a care in the world. You only stared at him in exasperation, brushing your hair as you sighed.
You felt an urge to just leave him like that on the floor until dawn breaks. He can take care of himself, and being drunk probably isnā€™t something new to him. Yet you knew you canā€™t just do that. Whether or not he was Lee Jihoon, you had the obligation to not leave him to die of alcohol poisoning or of hypothermia.
The last one was a stretch, you admit but still, there was no way you could leave him like that as someone who tries to be compassionate at every point of day. At least, the sofa was a lot better than the cold floor.
Reaching for his arm and placing it around your shoulders, you tried to carry Jihoon to the sofa just a few steps away. Yet you hadnā€™t anticipated how heavy he actually was as you barely dragged him across the room, huffing and panting. You were not one with the best fitness
ā€œCome on, Jihoon. Hold yourself up!Ā  Youā€™re simply too heavy for me to carry!ā€ You exclaimed as you tried not to stumble on the way.
ā€œMmnā€¦Iā€™m sorry...Iā€™m tryingā€¦ā€ he drawled, his eyes half-lidded and unfocusedā€”obvious indications that he has drunk too much for his own good.
Just a little bitā€¦
Taking that one step remaining, you immediately tossed Jihoon to the soft sofa with a long and exhausted sigh. He only groaned, his hair in a disarray. You had only noticed now that he still had his work clothes on: a grey suit piece sans the tie which he mustā€™ve tossed somewhere in the immediate past.
He had his eyes closed as you sat closely to him, watching his chest rise and fall with every breath. Jihoon seemed to be in peace this way, far from the constant creases in his brow or on his lips. Brushing away a stray lock of hair from his face, you noticed the angles on his face, the fullness of his cheeks, the rosiness of his lips. Was he always this familiar to you? It was a question you had no immediate answers to. Yet you had never anticipated to end your exhausting day with a drunk Lee Jihoon, yet thatā€™s where you are now.
ā€œI should give him some medicine to ease the redness,ā€ you muttered to yourself as you stood up, your mind already listing the ingredients you needed to make one tablet, but before you did, a hand had stopped you in your tracks.
ā€œPleaseā€¦donā€™t leave me,ā€ his voice, still lethargic, echoed behind you and you were forced to turn, your eyes captured by his unrelenting gaze.
ā€œJihoonā€¦ā€ you spoke softly, returning to your seat beside him as you helped him sit up clumsily. ā€œBut youā€™re still flushing.ā€
ā€œDoesnā€™t matterā€¦ā€ he replied back, leaning unsteadily until you caught him in your arms. Now he was peacefully resting his head on your shoulder, burying himself into your embrace.
ā€œJ-Jihoonā€¦?ā€
To say that you were wholly surprised was an understatement. You were floundering and unable to make anything out of this situation. This was something incredibly out of character for the Lee Jihoon you thought you knew.
ā€œY/Nā€¦I mustā€¦.must apologize,ā€ he began, which definitely made you furrow your brows in bewilderment. ā€œIā€™m so sorryā€¦ Iā€”I failed youā€¦ā€
You stared into the air incredulously, not understanding what page Jihoon was in.
ā€œYou didnā€™t fail me,ā€ you replied back. ā€œYou didnā€™t fail anyone, Jihoonā€¦ā€
However, it seemed like your words fell into deaf ears as he snuggled up to you, wrapping his arms around you tightly.
ā€œIā€™m so sorryā€¦Y/Nā€¦pleaseā€¦please forgive meā€¦ā€
Concluding that this was probably one drunk confession, you allowed him to find comfort in your presence, placing a consoling hand on his back as he continued to apologize to you.
This was a side to him you hadnā€™t expected to see. It was vulnerable, raw and unapologetically realā€”words you never thought youā€™d associate with Lee Jihoon. Yet there you were, as you hugged him back, finding solace in his arms as well when there was no one in the world you could share your burdens with.
ā€œItā€™s okay, Jihoonā€¦ā€ you replied to him as you closed your eyes. ā€œAt least you tried, and itā€™s good enough for me.ā€
ā€œYetā€¦yetā€¦why canā€™t I feel youā€¦?ā€ he cried out, his voice clearly in pain. ā€œWhy canā€™t I reach youā€¦? Iā€¦I alwaysā€¦alwaysss wanted to know youā€¦to hold you like thisā€¦ā€
ā€œJihoonā€¦ā€
You wished there was something you could say or do, yet you didnā€™t even know what he was talking about. It felt like the two of you were talking in a circle of riddles; finding yourselves in different pages.
ā€œY/Nā€¦please donā€™t be angryā€¦pleaseā€¦.pleaseā€¦.donā€™t reject me,ā€ he continued on as if in a trance. ā€œIā€™m so sorryā€¦.so sorryyyā€¦.ā€
There was something in his words, or the way his voice shook that had pierced right through you. You wondered what you had done to him to plead to you like this. Yes, you did push him away a few weeks ago, yet that was the farthest you had gone to hurt him. You couldnā€™t understand what was happening, nevertheless, you still felt called upon to take action.
Moving your hand, you brushed his soft locks gently.
ā€œI wonā€™t reject you, Jihoon. I wonā€™t push you away. I promise you.ā€
ā—‡
PARLIAMENT PASSES BILL CRACKING DOWN ON CILVEKAN NATIONALS by Jeon Wonwoo
The Porta Persa Edition, October 27th
Ā In a historic vote, the Parliament has passed a bill on harsher travel restrictions for Cilvekan nationals as well as an extensive program which allows for the investigation of all Cilvekans in Porta Persa. This bill marks a tantamount win on Rep. Kang Jinho and his Conservative partyā€”warranting a speculation of a bid on the Prime Minister seat.
This soon-to-be law highlights restrictions set on the amount of Cilvekan nationals leaving and entering Porta Persa wherein local governments can monitor their actions inside the country. It is also in the prerogative of the local government to deny entry to any Cilvekan wishing to enter.Ā  According to Rep. Kang, it is necessary to be able to detect any sort of preemptive strike against Porta Persa to avoid endangering the security of the people.
This bill also boasts a program which, in conjunction with the restrictions, shall implement a vast inspection of all Cilvekan nationals present in the country. They are to undergo a thorough investigation conducted by the police and shall be warranted to arrests if ill-intentions against Porta Persa is proven.
With this bill, according to the Parliament, the government shall be able to ensure that the national security of Porta Persa shall not be threatened by any means, even if it meant sacrificing privacy and material gains. Sacrifice is and always will be inevitable on the road to peaceā€¦
ā—‡
In the pitch black darkness of the night, echoes of footfalls resounded across the streets of Porta Persa. There was breaking of glass, breaking of wood, and shouts of women.Ā 
Fear was high in the scent of the night. The streets of Porta Pera enshrined by men and womenā€”rounded up in handcuffs and tied by accusations. Half the town was awake and afraid, half the town asleep and aloof.Ā 
The night had just began.
CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 | CHAP 5 |Ā  CHAP 6 |
-Hyeri
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myriadimagines Ā· 4 years ago
Text
End Of The Year Faves 2020!
Rules: itā€™s time to love yourselves! choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!
i was tagged by the lovely @lxncelotĀ & @musicallisto !!!
iā€™ve only written 10 one shots this year since i stopped taking requests rip. i only ended up picking 5 of them bc i didnt like the rest. also i love talking about the behind the scenes of writing like its just so fun. i literally went through my revision history in my google docs to see how i wrote these akjsdhasjd so literally........... if anyone wants to talk to me about a piece........... just shoot me an ask bc i will gladly tell u all about it
1.Ā Lifetimes (Sebastien le Livre)Ā 
this might be my number one bc itā€™s the most recent and i havent decided i hate it yet but wrote this as an alternative to therapy lmfaooooooo and itā€™s been a month but um. it still hurts. but anyway, i started off with the below paragraph:
And Booker has centuries of pain under his belt. Endless years of trauma that he cannot even begin to unpack. But you donā€™t have centuries. You donā€™t have lifetimes to reconcile with all the cruelty in the worldĀ  ā€”Ā  you just have one, and Booker knows he of all people should know just how much hurt one lifetime can contain.
and just worked around it, bc i was just really obsessed with the concept of having multiple lifetimes and all that, and just the fact that life has so much pain and hurt and it just sucks. i edited the first sentence for the final but otherwise itā€™s the same. i think i came up with some pretty good lines in this if i do say so myself, and i mentioned it in the a/n, but i intended for it to be longer but didnā€™t want to push it after i feel like i had written all i wanted to. i just wanted someone to hold me and comfort me clearly.Ā 
2. Cursed BloodĀ (Renfri)
i am obsessed with renfri as a character and her whole story, and the whole concept of her being cursed just felt like something that i really wanted to explore and write about. these were the first lines i wrote for the piece:
But every time you kiss her, you swear that itā€™s impossible her lips could be poison. Or perhaps you grew so used it, that the poison tasted sweet.Ā 
i ended up editing this a lot for the final version, but a trend in my writing seems to be i always come up with how to end a piece and just work around it. i really enjoyed going into depth into renfriā€™s character and it kinda felt more like a character study than a reader insert? but eventually i found a way to work the reader in there and i liked where the story went, bc renfri deserves happiness and someone to be there for her.
3. Roadside (Robin Buckley)
still in shock at how many notes this one got and i am forever grateful to everyone who reblogged/left comments!!! this was for laceyā€™s ( @moonlit-imagines ) writing challenge, and idk why when i saw the prompt i immediately decided to use robin. for this one, i actually started with the beginning, which was the prompt,Ā ā€œLetā€™s take a walk. Just you and me.ā€
i mentioned this in the a/n, but i planned it to be a lot more angsty and wasnā€™t even planning on ending it on a happy note askjdhaksd the original plot i had in mind was that robin and the reader were into each other but were dancing around each otherā€™s feelings. so one night, theĀ reader drunkenly kisses steve at a party to try and make robin jealous, but it ends up just causing a rift between robin and the reader even after they confess their feelings. here is a part i wrote for the original plot before i decided to scrap it and go with the final plot.
ā€œLook, I donā€™t even care if you and Steve get together.ā€ Robin waves her hand, and youā€™re not used to seeing such disappointment on your best friendā€™s face as she lets out a shaky breath. She looks as if sheā€™s struggling to collect herself before she asks, ā€œI justā€¦ why did you lie to me?ā€
ā€œI didnā€™t.ā€ you desperately blurt, and Robinā€™s eyebrows furrow. Shaking your head, you take a step towards her as you explain, ā€œI didnā€™t lie, Robin, I swear. I donā€™t like Steve. What happened at the party meant nothingā€”ā€
Robin scoffs. ā€œThen whyā€”ā€
ā€œā€”because I wanted you to see.ā€ you finally confess, and Robin stares at you. Youā€™re shaking, tears welling in your eyes as you continue, ā€œBecause I thought I could make you jealous, because I was just too afraid to make a move and wanted you too. And I know thatā€™s silly of me, and I never meant to hurt your feelingsā€”ā€
i changed the plot because i didnā€™t think i could pull it off, and i didnā€™t know how to fully end it. i liked where it ended up going anyway after the change of direction so all good!!
4. Games (Michael Gray)
so this was inspired by a gif imagine request that @fangirlsarah16 sent me, which you can find here!! you can literally see me already plotting for the piece in the tags aksjdha i just loved how angsty the situation was, and i love michael, so i decided to just run with it. i put what i had already written into a document and just pieced everything in around it. this is definitely one of my more dramatic pieces, but i just loved how the story came together and how all the other characters were included.Ā 
i already planned to write a part 2 while i was still writing this piece, but obviously that hasnt happened yet. also i got discouraged bc i thought it would do better in terms of notes but oh well. i wrote around 300 words of where i wanted part 2 to go, and i still have it saved, but i dont want to share it in case i end up writing it. also, i have 2 plots in mind for where i want part 2 to go, and havenā€™t decided which one i want to go with. weā€™ll have to wait and see i guess >:)
5. Off Limits (Cassian Andor)
ah yes, the first in my rewrite project that is going along very slowly. basically, im planning on rewriting my super old one shots in hopes that iā€™ll like them. i swear iā€™ve got the next one shot in my drafts but i just havent had the time to finish it yet. anyway,Ā the original piece, which i wrote 4 years ago (!!!!), was the piece that really got my blog started and helped me get activity/attention, and it has around 500 notes, which kinda makes the new version look depressing bc it only has 97 and itā€™s definitely a lot better in my opinion.Ā 
i donā€™t really have a detailed process for this one, seeing as i was just improving upon an old piece, but one of the main things i did want to change was cassianā€™s characterisation. i felt like i just made him too mean in my old piece, and i wanted to loosen him up a bit.Ā i managed to bang this one in one day and i just think itā€™s some cute content and i miss the rogue one squad!!
iā€™m tagging @moonlit-imagines @emcon-imagines @lotsoffandomimagines @dannyboy-writes @murswrites @randomfandomimagine @sonsofeorlĀ @spxder-mxns & all other content creators that see this!! iā€™m definitely missing a lot but everyone should share their favorite pieces from this year :ā€™)
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rivalsforlife Ā· 4 years ago
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I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE DOING COMMENTARY hope it's not too late to ask for The Scene at the end of chapter 5 of the catch up game?? if no one else has asked?
It is never too late to ask!! Genuinely you could probably ask me six months from now and Iā€™ll ramble on about all this, Iā€™m generally down to talk about my writing all the time. (And Iā€™m actually a little surprised nobody asked about The Scene yet... oh well haha)
First though: have you seen this art yet? If you havenā€™t you should. It was going around twitter again lately and I love it a lot so I wanted to advertise it while I had the chance.
Anyways, keeping under aĀ ā€œkeep readingā€ here:
So. The Scene. First Iā€™ll present my notes from the outline when I was trying to figure out this fic:
Miles lets his feelings slip, Phoenix doesnā€™t take it too well, they part on a kind of awkward note.
SomehowĀ ā€œkind of an awkward noteā€ ended up being uhhh that!
Anyways before we get into this I want to say that I really did not think it would have that much of an emotional impact? I got a much bigger reaction than I thought and thatā€™s around when people really started talking about it on the narumitsu discord and stuff, so I ended up for the rest of the week soooo stressed out that Iā€™d accidentally gone in a completely different direction than Iā€™d planned and set peopleā€™s expectations too high and they would be COMPLETELY DISAPPOINTED IN THE REST OF THE FIC but uh luckily that didnā€™t happen! I think. At least if anyone was super disappointed they didnā€™t tell me about it!
And it was probably partially that I am not very uhh good with emotions and also probably that I got pretty desensitized to my work but I genuinely did not think it was that bad until I saw Roā€™s art and then wentĀ ā€œohhh suddenly I am consumed with so much guilt...ā€ (and also doubted how in character this scene was. how can ANYONE say no to that face --)
Most critically though, this scene distracted everyone from whatever the hell was going on with the casefic earlier in the chapter, so overall I think itā€™s a success.
Sorry itā€™s taking a while to get to the actual scene, but I wrote a few drafts of this thing beforehand and modified it a lot trying to get it right. I needed it to be sufficiently dramatic but I didnā€™t want it to seem like... I was just adding it in there for extra conflict? Like you know sometimes you read stuff and youā€™re likeĀ ā€œwhere the hell did this sudden argument come fromā€ yeah. I wanted to avoid that if I could, so partially this was supported by the weight of chapter 4 to explain Phoenixā€™s reasons for the rejection and then chapter 6 is supposed to elaborate more, but I still needed this to stand fairly well on its own.
The overall theme of this chapter wasĀ ā€œOppositesā€, and again, hereā€™s what I had in my fic notes:
I want to contrast how Phoenix sees Miles and how Miles sees Phoenix. Because they both kind of see each other as an amazing person while seeing themselves as failures. Maybe at the end Phoenix is kind of putting himself down and Miles argues about it and then they have a slight argument. Miles lets his feelings slip, Phoenix doesnā€™t take it too well, they part on a kind of awkward note.
I couldnā€™t really find a way to integrate this conversation in naturally, so I could only get Phoenixā€™s perspective in there a little bit. Originally Milesā€™ confession wasnā€™t supposed to be planned, just a spur of the moment in the middle of an argument whereĀ Phoenix kind of goes ā€œI donā€™t understand why you keep hanging out with me, why are you spending so much time with me, Iā€™m not struggling, I donā€™t need you worrying about meā€ and Miles interrupts with aĀ ā€œBecause I love you, you idiot!ā€ ... But I couldnā€™t get that to work because the buildup into the argument felt too abrupt.Ā 
Last little bit of something just before the argument (some of the dialogue here went into the chapter 4 dinner conversation instead):
Miles: (quietly) Iā€™ve spent most of my life trying to climb higher in my career, in order to fight corruption as best I could. And I have, and every day my mission is growing closer to completion, or at least as much as it can. But after thatā€¦ (staring at some kidsā€™ toy) whatā€™s left for me? Iā€™ve taken a rather unconventional path through life. Iā€™m starting to wonder about opportunities Iā€™ve missed.
Phoenix: (jokingly) Is that some long-winded way of telling me youā€™re planning on settling down?
Miles: Iā€™d never settle. But in some sense, I suppose so.
Phoenix: (stopping in his tracks) Youā€™re kidding. L-Like, what, in a year or so Iā€™m gonna walk in to your office one day and find you with a wife and kids?
Miles: (rolling his eyes) You do know that Iā€™m gay, donā€™t you? And why would I keep them in my office? Thereā€™s no need to be so melodramatic, Wright.
Again couldnā€™t fit it in I just found it funny. ANYWAYS FINALLY MOVING AWAY FROM THE DRAFTS AND TO THE ACTUAL THING, Iā€™ll skip ahead a bit to just before the confession:
ā€œHow long has it been since I came here?ā€Ā 
ā€œI dunnoā€¦ since before I got my badge back, probably.ā€
ā€œThat sounds about right.ā€ Edgeworth sighed and leaned against Phoenixā€™s desk. ā€œIā€™ve barely gotten the chance to see you, since you got your badge back and I took my new position. Iā€™ve missed going up against you in court.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t,ā€ Phoenix teased, slipping his case notes into his desk drawer. ā€œYouā€™re a nightmare.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re one to talk.ā€ The corners of Edgeworthā€™s eyes crinkled as he looked over at him. ā€œYou can be so infuriating, but I do like working with you. I had fun today.ā€
Phoenix raised an eyebrow. ā€œFun? You?ā€
ā€œI suppose age has softened me up.ā€
ā€œI didnā€™t think anything could soften you up.ā€
ā€œYouā€™d be surprised. I often have fun when Iā€™m with you. I alwaysā€¦ā€ He trailed off, averting his eyes and gripping his elbow. ā€œIā€™ve beenā€¦ thinking, a bit. On our earlier conversation.ā€
So basically... Miles got preeetty close to confessing during their dinner in chapter 4, but kinda backed out at the last moment, and heā€™s been agonizing over this ever since. Because the way he interpreted their conversation was sort ofĀ ā€œWe both want to move forward into a relationship but donā€™t know how to take the steps to do soā€, whereas Phoenix interpreted more as a consensus thatĀ ā€œWe could probably start a relationship and there are feelings there but it wouldnā€™t really work out so we just wonā€™t ever talk about itā€.
And Miles throughout this fic assumed that Phoenix has been in love with him for a while and only holding back for Milesā€™ own sake, and waiting for Miles to signal that heā€™s actually ready to move into a romantic relationship. ... Which is very much not the case. What makes today different though is that Miles got to watch Phoenix solve mysteries, and Iā€™m of the opinion that Miles considers Phoenix at his most attractive when he is uncovering the truth!! so Miles pretty much just saw him solve this case and goĀ ā€œI must kiss this man on the lips Right Nowā€ but thought he should clear some things up before he did that.
which is good because if he just walked up to Phoenix and kissed him without preamble Iā€™m pretty sure Phoenix would have died, so.
Something imperceptibly changed in the atmosphere. It made Phoenixā€™s heart race faster in anticipation. ā€œOh? Which one?ā€
ā€œThe one we had during the last dinner we shared.ā€
ā€œO-Oh.ā€ That had been weeks ago. Surely Phoenix had forgotten something.
ā€œEverything has changed so much, over the course of my career, between us.ā€ Edgeworthā€™s eyes flickered up to him briefly before settling back down on the desk. ā€œIā€™ve never been afraid of moving forward, but this, I wantā€¦ā€ He exhaled, shakily. ā€œGive me a minute. This isā€¦ difficult.ā€
Phoenix kind of... knows, subconsciously, where this is going, but heā€™s trying to deny it until the last minute because heā€™s very unprepared and has no idea how to deal with this... which will become very clear by the end of the scene.
Miles is tricky to write in a confession scene because he can be kind of weird with emotions? Sometimes heā€™ll give these Grand Speeches about how much That Man means to him but at the same time he struggled a lot with talking about his feelings during the trilogy and I think heā€™d still struggle with it now. Especially something as raw and vulnerable as a love confession.
And Miles is also someone who is, at least by the Investigations duology, determined to pursue what is Right and what is the Truth without any sort of hesitation. However pursuing Wright is different. (insert horrible forced laugh track)
ā€œW-Well, donā€™t strain yourself,ā€ Phoenix insisted. ā€œWe can talk another day. I-Itā€™s getting late, after all, we should ā€”ā€
ā€œWe should stop dancing around the issue.ā€ Edgeworthā€™s eyes snapped up and locked with Phoenixā€™s, pinning him in place. ā€œDonā€™t go easy on me now, of all times.ā€
oh man I have to admit I got really into Persona 5 Royal for like a few weeks around the time I was writing this and thatĀ ā€œdonā€™t go easy on me now of all timesā€ is looosely inspired by a similar line in there thatā€™s likeĀ ā€œdo you think Iā€™d be happy with being shown mercy now, of all times?ā€ because although itā€™s a different dynamic than narumitsu I was uh. intrigued.
... sorry itā€™s so vague I wanted to avoid spoilers anyways, moving on,
Phoenixā€™s mouth ran dry. Edgeworth couldnā€™t possibly be planning to ā€”
ā€œEverything has changed between us,ā€ continued Edgeworth. ā€œI want things to ā€” to continue to change, I-I want to be closer, isā€”ā€ He sucked a breath in through his teeth ā€œā€” is it not obvious?ā€
Hadnā€™t they agreed, in that way they could agree without saying a word, that they were never going to talk about this?
Phoenix broke his gaze. ā€œNo. Itā€™s not. Iā€” I donā€™t want to argue with you. Itā€™s late.ā€
Pretty much same as previous notes: Phoenix in extreme denial that this is actually happening whereas Miles is just trying to force it all out.
Phoenix is kind of trying to talk Miles down from confessing; Miles is sort of interpreting it asĀ ā€œWright isnā€™t going to let me get away with not actually saying this so I need to be more direct.ā€Ā 
Iā€™m sure that later when Miles is curled up on his bed wondering where he went wrong heā€™ll think of that :)
ā€œPhoenix.ā€
The use of his first name forced Phoenix to look up again.
Edgeworth stared at him for a long time. There was something impossible swimming just under the surface of his grey eyes.
ā€œPhoenix Wright,ā€ he said. ā€œI am in love with you.ā€
HE DID IT!! Heā€™s so brave Iā€™m sure that nothing can go wrong!!
Gossip was one thing. Lingering touches and stolen glances, Phoenix could deal with those. The knowledge that Edgeworth was interested in him in a not-so-platonic wayā€¦ that was more than enough.
This, hearing Edgeworth say the words out loud, was another thing entirely. Even if Phoenix already knew. Nothing could have prepared him for ā€” for whatever this was, for Edgeworth, looking at him all open and vulnerable, and ā€” and saying ā€”
ā€œWhā€¦ Whatā€¦?ā€
Edgeworth tilted his head slightly to the side, causing his bangs to fall into his face. ā€œSurely youā€™ve figured it out already?ā€
ā€œI-I donā€™t understandā€¦ā€
At first there was a line right afterĀ ā€œEven if Phoenix already knewā€ that wasĀ ā€œEven if he felt the sameā€, but then I decided to make it so Phoenix canā€™t even admit his feelings to himself, so I cut that one out.
Anyways this is shocking to Phoenix partially because of Denial but also because he didnā€™t expect Miles to actually come out and say something like this. Heā€™s used to Miles being closed off with his emotions and doesnā€™t think him the type to ever directly acknowledge them, so itā€™s got him totally off guard, too. Itā€™s unpredictable for someone who is supposed to know Miles so well so itā€™s very unnerving for him.
ā€œIā€¦ I think you are incredible,ā€ said Edgeworth. ā€œYour single-minded dedication to truth and justice. Your compassion. Your mercy. The way youā€¦ brought light, brought life, back into my world. You can be so frustrating, and stubborn, but thatā€™s part of why I have always admired you so much.ā€ The corners of his eyes softened. ā€œYou saved me a thousand times over, and I want to spend the rest of my life by your sideā€¦ however you want me.ā€
Miles generally people go on at least one date before proposing marriage but okay.
One thing I find interesting about Miles as a character is that heā€™s very much an all-or-nothing kind of person... he doesnā€™t ever really half-ass things and he doesnā€™t know how to do things gradually haha. He wonā€™t allow the truth to be covered in darkness for even a moment even if it makes things easier for him in the long run. SayingĀ ā€œI think youā€™re great, maybe we should go on a few dates and see how things end up?ā€ is probably the SENSIBLE thing to say, but Miles puts 100% of himself into everything that he does post-character development; and heā€™s secure enough in his relationship with Phoenix that he doesnā€™t really feel the need to test the waters. Plus Miles is allergic to uncertainty, so by the time he confesses heā€™d need to be absolutely certain that he loved Phoenix Wright and was prepared to pretty much go all in with him.
after all Phoenix feels the same way right!!
Phoenix stared. His heartbeat was reverberating in his ears. ā€œI donā€™t know what to say. ā€¦ Me.ā€
ā€œWho else?ā€
ā€œWho ā€” a-anyone else. God, Edgeworth, what even is that shit, about me being i-intelligent, and dedicated, and compassionate, and ā€” and ā€” incredible, geez, Iā€™m a wreck! Iā€”ā€ His voice wavered into a fit of near hysteria. ā€œThe only reason Iā€™ve gotten this far is ā€˜cause Iā€™ve always had amazing people by my side, and ā€” and once theyā€™re gone Iā€™m back to whatever I usually am, I-I only have this one suit, I still havenā€™t got my freaking driverā€™s license, I donā€™t think Iā€™ve eaten anything but instant meals in a monthā€”ā€
(And he looked to Edgeworth, desperately, but Edgeworth was still gazing at him, expression gentle, gentle yet unyielding, not taking back his words or expressing an ounce of regret ā€” why wasnā€™t he changing his mind ā€”)
ā€œYouā€™re describing yourself more than me,ā€ said Phoenix weakly. ā€œReally, Iā€™m not ā€” Iā€™m not like that, okay, Iā€™m notā€¦ā€ He forced himself to take a deep breath. ā€œWhy are you telling me this?ā€
This is the one part that stayed consistent throughout all drafts of this scene haha. Some of it is echoes from what Godot told him back in Bridge to the Turnabout about him always needing someone to swoop in at the last minute to the rescue; others are sort of a loose refence to his behaviour during the beginning of RFTA and Reunion and Turnabout where he couldnā€™t really function without Maya there to look after.
This part sort of ties more into that objective I had with this chapter of contrasting how they see themselves; they both see each other as incredible people, because they donā€™t really get to see inside each other and see how much of a wreck they feel.
Also the very first sort of script of this confession had Phoenix sayingĀ ā€œI thought you knew me better than this!ā€ but that just seemed way too cruel for this haha.
ā€œI know that Iā€¦ that I have difficulty with these things,ā€ said Edgeworth, fingers gripping the edge of the desk. ā€œIā€™ve never been the most open of people and weā€™ve ā€” weā€™ve always been so distant, for so long. I wasnā€™t there for you when I should have been, and I want that to change. Because, ever since we metā€¦ youā€™ve been such a major part of my life. I never thought I would live to be older than my father. I never thought I would be happy with myself. But you, you came into my life, and you changed all that.ā€
(That wasnā€™t you,) a voice in Phoenixā€™s heart whispered. (You only started it. The rest was all him.)
ā€œBut I donā€™t want to be satisfied with what I have right now. I still want more. Thereā€™s still a part of life I want to explore, andā€¦ I want to do it with you.ā€
(Heā€™s always been fine without you. One day heā€™s going to realize it too, and thenā€¦)
ā€œIā€™m tired of hiding my emotions and being too afraid to upset the status quo when it comes to relationships. I refuse to be scared of that anymore.ā€
(Why isnā€™t he scared, too?)
ugh this was the hardest part to write I think...? Trying to figure out a way to get Phoenixā€™s internal feelings across where it doesnā€™t come out of nowhere. I settled with a lot of internal thoughts that are just like... self-loathing, pretty much.
Meanwhile Miles has prepared this whole emotional monologue that Phoenix is only half listening to, basically about what a huge impact Phoenix has had in his life and how heā€™s sort of... now that heā€™s presumably made large steps to fixing the justice system heā€™s turning to more personal goals in life, and one of those goals is spending his life with Phoenix, if he can be brave enough to do it.
Phoenix isnā€™t paying attention though because heā€™s too busy panicking...
ā€œMost of all, Iā€¦ I couldnā€™t hide anything from you for long. Iā€™d trust you with the world. Youā€™re my equal, and my opposite.ā€ Something resembling a shaky smile crossed Edgeworthā€™s face. ā€œAnd I love you.ā€
me shoving theĀ ā€œtheme of the dayā€ in there awkwardly
But he smiles!! This is one of the rare occasions where Miles kind of does smile... thereā€™s a lot ofĀ ā€œalmost-smileā€s or brief smiles and Miles is scared out of his wits here but heā€™s happy. he finally got that off his chest. he was brave and he told Phoenix how he felt and theyā€™ll be so, so happy together, nothing can possibly go wrong,
The words knocked out any breath Phoenix had managed to regain. His skin suddenly felt cold and clammy, and he was faced with vertigo more intense than standing on rooftops. What was happening to him?
There was something he was supposed to say to this. He should react to this normally. His mouth was drier than a desert. His tongue felt unsightly and awkward in his mouth.
ā€œI shouldnā€™t have to tell you that if I have somehow misinterpreted, I wonā€™t mention this again.ā€ Unease and uncertainty flickered behind Edgeworthā€™s eyes. ā€œAnd I would never be upset, as long as you tell me the truth. I want to take the next steps of my life with you. ā€¦ Do you feel the same way?ā€
oh yeah this part was a little tricky too. Pretty much Phoenix is on the verge of a full-blown panic attack and cannot think of a response, even a nice polite rejection... and finally Miles starts realizing that somethingā€™s off, because before he was just running on adrenaline to try and get his feelings out that he didnā€™t stop to examine Phoenixā€™s reactions, otherwise he wouldā€™ve started overthinking and psyched himself out. But now that he got it out and seeing Phoenix pretty much in shock heā€™s starting to worry heā€™d made a mistake.
AlsoĀ ā€œunease and uncertaintyā€ is definitely anĀ ā€œunnecessary feelingsā€ reference because Iā€™m shameless.
Yes, Phoenix wanted to say, yes, I do, and say what he felt, what he wanted. But the words wouldnā€™t come.
Why couldnā€™t he say it? It should be easy. If he truly wanted this, it should be as easy as breathing.
His vision swam with pink butterflies, he ran his tongue over the scars in his mouth, his breath caught jagged on the edges of chains ā€”
Aaaand if either one of them had the magatama right now there would be the psyche-locks! I was gonna elaborate on this a lot but this is so far waaay longer than I intended so Iā€™ll spare you and give a brief summary.
Essentially there are three locks. I wrote them as sort of representing each issue that Phoenix needs to acknowledge for them to break -- not necessarily fix, because that would be a super tricky thing, but acknowledging theyā€™re there is a start. Theyā€™re pretty muchĀ ā€œTrustā€,Ā ā€œAbandonmentā€, andĀ ā€œVulnerabilityā€. Later I realized those issues are pretty much tied up in each other so instead I just made it so that each one is set by a traumatic event, and then acknowledging those events is what breaks them.
The first is an obviousĀ ā€œDahlia and Iris really screwed up Phoenixā€™s ability to trust a partner romanticallyā€. I love Iris but she really did mess him up as well. Phoenix kind of convinced himself heā€™s over this issue now since Iris was a good person! but really heā€™s still messed up about it. (And thatā€™s where the butterflies + scars in his mouth sort of come from). Talking to Iris and acknowledging that heā€™s still hurting over it is what breaks this one.
The second is more directly related to all the times Miles himself has abandoned him particularly throughout the series. Some of the hurt when Miles prosecuted him in Turnabout Sisters, and definitely a lot regardingĀ ā€œProsecutor Miles Edgeworth Chooses Deathā€, itā€™s pretty much him being scared to get /too/ attached to Miles because he fears Miles might abandon him again. This one breaks in chapter 7 when he has the whole realization that Miles might die and leave him regardless, and acknowledges how afraid he is of Miles leaving again.
And the last is more of acknowledging his need to be needed by people and help people but they move on without him and not donā€™t really him in their lives. This built up more gradually... with littler things like Apollo leaving the Agency and Maya not being around as much and Trucy moving out. Neither of these are Big Bad Traumatic Events like the other two but itā€™s still an issue Phoenix has that he needs to acknowledge. Trucyā€™s letter breaks this one by telling him heā€™s never going to be alone and they all love him and are there for him. And thatā€™s why right after reading the letter he can tell Miles that he loves him.
So thatā€™s that. Moving back to the actual story now...
ā€œPhoenix?ā€
Edgeworth still stood so close, too close, and when Phoenix breathed his senses were assaulted by the scent of his cologne and ā€” and he was too close, and his words were too much, Edgeworth couldnā€™t be in love with him. Attracted, sure, but love ā€” how could he so easily say love?
This wasnā€™t like Edgeworth. This wasnā€™t how things were before, this wasnā€™t how things had always been, every time things changed too fast something would go wrong, every time things changed too fast Edgeworth would leave again ā€”
(ā€” and right now Edgeworthā€™s body was coiled tight with tension, like a spring, ready to take off at any sudden movement ā€”)
ā€” and Phoenix couldnā€™t say a word.
Fairly self-explanatory I think: basically acknowledging that fear that Miles is going to leave again.
Phoenix was standing on the edge of a turnabout. Somewhere heā€™d have to take the plunge for victory, for the truth. Heā€™d never shied from them before. Heā€™d always accepted the risks. And theyā€™d (almost always) paid off.
But something had Phoenix in a vice. Dark chains that wrapped around his chest and constricted his lungs. Something that would drown him if he took the plunge. Something that whispered that he could not risk this, his heart and his life in one. There was too much to lose. It was all too much.
That little (almost always) there is referencing that one time he presented the critical case-changing evidence and got disbarred for it; his disbarment messed him up pretty bad too, I guess itā€™d fit in the category of the third psyche-lock.
And of course the second paragraph references the psyche-locks more directly before they actually show up.
The words came. They werenā€™t the ones he wanted.
ā€œNo,ā€ said Phoenix. ā€œNo, I donā€™t.ā€
The rattling in Phoenixā€™s head cut out. Silence fell over the room.
Pretty much once Phoenix stops pressing the issue the psyche-locks stop shaking. I imagine theyā€™re a pretty terrible thing to break directly; he canā€™t do it on his own like this.
ā€œ... I see,ā€ said Edgeworth, and something snapped shut, drew tight, rigid, back to a statue. ā€œI thoughtā€¦ nevermind.ā€
Miles kind of draws back into himself all tightly-controlled, less open than before, because that really hurt him a lot. Heā€™d probably prefer it than Phoenix being all evasive and sort of reassuring because he prefers people just cut straight to the facts, but that was direct even for him.
And of course he thought that Phoenix did feel that way about him. He was certain of it. So hearing Phoenix didnā€™t and he was completely wrong is... not good.
Heā€™d gone so still. At the sight of it, whatever spell was holding Phoenix in its grasp broke, and he came back to reality ā€” this wasnā€™t right, this wasnā€™t good, he had to fix this, somehow, bring things back to the way they were, ā€œEdgeworthā€”ā€
And the sight of Miles completely freezing up and closing himself off is enough to break Phoenix free of the initial panic, because he does care a lot about Miles, and seeing him withdraw worries him.
ā€œItā€™s getting late,ā€ said Edgeworth, and only someone as experienced as Phoenix could detect the waver in his voice. ā€œThank you for being honest with me, Wright. Iā€™ll talk to you later.ā€
The remark stung worse than a knife would, he couldnā€™t let it end like this. ā€œIā€”ā€
The office door shut, none too gently. Phoenix was alone.
ā€œ... Iā€™m sorry.ā€
ThatĀ ā€œthank you for being honest with meā€ wasnā€™t SUPPOSED to be a jab, of course, because Miles would prefer that Phoenix was honest than lie to him. But Phoenix did lie and thatā€™s what bothers Phoenix the most throughout the next couple of chapters; they both value the truth so highly that lying to each other is inconceivable.
And Miles probably should have stuck around for a bit and heard Phoenix out and maybe Phoenix could have managed a half-decent explanation ofĀ ā€œokay I donā€™t know what that was but this was very sudden and Iā€™m panicking, can you give me time to process?ā€ but if Miles stayed for much longer he probably would have started breaking down and thatā€™s the last thing he wants to do right now, especially in front of Phoenix, so he left as soon as possible.
I think he managed to repress enough that he could get home safely, but the moment he crossed the threshold into privacy he probably had himself a good cry... curled up on the couch and watched some Steel Samurai with a tub of ice cream... but he was pretty emotionally devastated by this. It took a lot of effort for him to open up and be honest about his feelings so just being shut down like that... hurt a lot. Heā€™d never admit it though.
anyways I also have this short bit of writingĀ I posted a while back about Miles actually getting a hug after all this, because he really needs one.
And thatā€™s the scene!! I think I said more than enough so Iā€™ll end it here haha.
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the-last-airbadger Ā· 4 years ago
Text
My 2020
Hey yā€™all. So 2020 happened. That was a thing. Apparently. I know for a lot of people this year was uhmā€¦ pretty shitā€¦ but it was still a year that happened so itā€™s time for my annual reflection post (probably the only time I still post about myself on tumblr lol) and maybe we might even find some good things that happened this year!
Ā The Beginning of 2020 vs Now
So, a lot has changed since the start of the year. A pandemic happened, for one. I canā€™t believe that a year ago I could still go to class every day and see my friends and now Iā€™m pretty much stuck at home every day. The year started out pretty normal and then march happened and well, you all know what happened next. The worst part about the pandemic for me personally was probably the fact that I barely see my friends anymore and I canā€™t go to class every day. Some people may not think that not going to class is that bad, but I really enjoyed university more than I ever enjoyed school and I was really happy going there every day, and I was already sad Iā€™d only have 4 to 5 years to spend there, so when that period got even shorter it made me kinda sad.
On the other hand, I do think that mentally Iā€™m in a much better place than I was last year around this time. Being home this much really gave me time to reflect and work on my issues, and because my sister was stuck in our house for a couple of weeks I got to talk to her a lot which really helped me feel better. I think in general my entire family (my brother, sister and mom) have become a lot more open with each other which I think is great! I guess quarantine can have some benefits.
Ā The Best Things about 2020
Okay, hereā€™s is where weā€™re going to get even more positive and go over all the good things that happened (to me) this year! To be honest, most of the year was a bit of a blur so I probably will forget quite a bit, but Iā€™m going to give this a try anyway. At the start of the year (when things were still normal) I was super excited to get into the next semester, as the one before had,,, kinda sucked, and those 6 weeks of class I had at the start of the year were really great. I remember me and my friends having a competition of who could get mentioned the most in our teacherā€™s powerpoint presentation so those classes were always interesting. I also finally got to dye my hair for the first time with the help of my friends. Iā€™ve been wanting to do that for so long, and Iā€™m so happy I finally got to do it! I even know how to do it myself now, and my hair hasnā€™t been brown since the start of march! Then, at the start of march, my dad and stepmother moved away and I permanently moved in with my mom. Before, I used to live with both my mom and my dad and I got really really sick of switching houses every week, so to finally live in one house and have all my stuff in one place was a bit of a relief to me, and Iā€™m still really happy with it. After that, things become a bit blurry. I remember that at the start of quarantine in ā€¦ April? I watched Sex Education or the first time, which is now not only one of my favourite shows ever, but also taught me a lot and helped me with some of the issues I was dealing with. Weā€™ll skip over the subsequent sexuality crisis I had (I think I might actually be straight??), and skip straight to the summer, when I started watching I-Land. I watched every episode as it aired live, and because of this show my Fridays really became the highlight of the week. I donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever been so invested in a survival show XD. The rest of the year was mostly just me spending time with myself. It got a bit lonely sometimes, but I also donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever written as much as I have this year, and my drawing has significantly improved (if I may say so myself)! Especially towards the end of the year, when I started making a planning every day to prevent myself from wasting away all my time on youtube, I got super productive, and I wrote a lot, and made a lot of art, and I really felt good. I even started (gasp) working out. Yeah I know. Shocking right.
There was also a lot of good music that was released this year, and, to close this section on a great note, through one of my classes I finally found a group of friends to play D&D with! We havenā€™t actually played yet, but we will, and Iā€™m so excited to play the game and get to know these people more! They all seem really kind!
Ā My Resolutions for 2020?
Now, hereā€™s the part where we check whether I actually reached all the goals I set myself for 2020. As usual, I have no idea what my resolutions were, so I honestly have no idea how I did. Letā€™s see, shall we?
Express my feelings more (as in I get really awkward in any sappy or mushy situation but I would like to be able to tell people I appreciate them without cringing) ā€“ UHM way to attack me on the very first resolution jeez. I did get more open with my family but I still canā€™t tell people I care about them without cringing so this is a fail lol
Again, learn to depend less on other peopleā€™s opinion and trust my own ā€“ Iā€™ve been working on it, I think Iā€™ve gotten a bit better? So win?
Get my sleeping schedule back on track ā€“ did that! Itā€™s a bit whacky again now because of the holidays, but October and November were a big success regarding this resolution
WRITE MORE. This time Iā€™ll make some concrete goals: Either Iā€™ll get my storyā€™s first draft done, or Iā€™ll write 100 pages on a single project ā€“ okay, so hereā€™s the thing. I donā€™t think I did any of these particular things, however this time I am 100% sure I wrote a lot more than the past years. I cannot count all the files and pages and notes I have now, but I wrote a lot, so Iā€™m counting this as a win
I want to try NaNoWriMo (not necessarily in November, but at some point) ā€“ yeah, didnā€™t do that oops
I want to read a lot again but maybe not as much as this year because I want to focus on writing too. 40 books? ā€“ 49 books babey
Read all my current unread books (Aru Shah 2, Skullduggery Pleasant 9, Gemina, The Mistborn Trilogy and Call Down The Hawk) and finish my reread of Heroes of Olympus and the Raven Cycle) ā€“ Did all of these except Skullduggery Pleasant 9 (the start was so boring I decided not to read it all) and The Mistborn Trilogy (I am about halfway through the first book I think?) so Iā€™m counting this as half a win
Finally read a book by V.E. Schwab (Iā€™ve been wanting to try one of her books for ages) ā€“ Did that! Read a whole trilogy. It was good but not as great as I expected them to be. I think my expectations were too high though
Finish Playing Twilight Princess (I promised my brother) ā€“ Did that! Iā€™m really proud of myself and so is my brother
Go. Swimming. Seriously. Itā€™s scandalous that I still havenā€™t done that after waiting so long to be able to ā€“ ITā€™S BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE I LAST WENT SWIMMING WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I did buy new swimshorts but I still havenā€™t actually used themā€¦ shame on me
Try to worry less about school and not overwork myself ā€“ kinda?
Maybe try another drawing challenge somewhere this summer? I havenā€™t done any of those in a while and I feel like my art needs more attention ā€“ okay, so I didnā€™t do that, but I did at the start of the year make the resolution to make portrait/photoshoot-like drawings for my 8 main ocā€™s, and I did actually manage to finish that, and they are some of the best drawings Iā€™ve ever made, so though I havenā€™t actually done a challenge specifically, I did do something
I want to try a 24 hour readathon ā€“ Yeah, didnā€™t do that oops
I kinda want to learn a piano piece as well, but I already have so many hobbies I want to focus on so I donā€™t know if Iā€™ll have the time ā˜¹ ā€“ yeah my dad sold our piano soā€¦ fail XD
Ā Expectations for 2021
Now, after last year I think itā€™s safe to say we can never really know what to expect. But! Iā€™m going to guess anyway because itā€™ll be really fun to see next year whether I got anything right.
The first thing that I think will probably happen this year (if I donā€™t majorly mess anything up) is Iā€™ll be writing my thesis next semester, and then in the summer Iā€™ll get my bachelorā€™s degree. Honestly I canā€™t believe how fricking fast those 3 years went, but I guess Iā€™ll just have to roll with it lol. Corona vaccinations will also probably start happening next year, and hopefully this will mean that going outside and seeing my friends will be possible again next year ā€“ at least a lot more than it was this year. I hope 2021 will be the year of hanging out with friends and getting to live a little again. Maybe even get to go to class. That would be great.
On to more minor ā€“ but no less exciting ā€“ things, 2021 will probably bring us a new season of Sex Education! Iā€™m sooo excited for that holy shit. And, in a similar vein, I have high hopes for kpop releases now that SHINee is finally back, and it looks like Haseul is also returning to LOONA! 2021 will also be the year in which ENHYPEN makes their first comeback, and some of the other I-LAND contestants will also make their debut, and there might even be a new season of I-LAND as well in the summer? So thereā€™s a lot of things to look forward to. Oh, and I almost forgot, Dan Howellā€™s book will be released in May, and there will be a new Grishaverse book, and the Shadow and Bone show will start airing, which I am really curious about. Again, lots of things to look forward to!
Ā 2021 Resolutions
Iā€™m not feeling as ambitious as I was last year, but there are a couple of things I want to try and do, so letā€™s jump into the resolutions!
I just came up with this today, but I think I want to try and build a bit of a skincare routine? The skin on my nose is kinda flakey, and I think it couldnā€™t hurt to try and take better care of my skin
Keep up with my daily workouts. I want to work out every day, except when Iā€™m at my dadā€™s or when itā€™s a special day, like Christmas or something.
Be able to do either 50 push-ups on my knees, 25 normal push-ups, or both
GO SWIMMING
Keep up with planning daily! Itā€™s a really good way to balance all of my 3195 hobbies and it helps me to not get stressed about school
Write (almost) every day. I need to make it a habit
Draw at least once a week, every other day if possible
Go outside at least once a week. That doesnā€™t seem very hard but with corona I did not realise how little I go outside if I am not forced to. Sometimes I spend 3 weeks without going out and I donā€™t even notice it. That canā€™t be good for me lol
Try to make healthier food choices. Maybe follow the lunch meal plan of the guy whose workout videos I follow.
Get my bachelorā€™s degree
Grow a beard. Iā€™m getting closerā€¦ I know Iā€™m getting closerā€¦
Meet with my frIENDS and give them the alBUMS I have for them
Be more careful with my money, maybe even save a bit of money
Spend less time on social media
Read more educational books
I think thatā€™s it! I canā€™t think of anything else right now so these will have to do. I wish that 2021 will treat all of you much better than whatever mess 2020 was! Happy 2021!
Last yearā€™s post: (x)
@the-official-pentacorn @asiandutchgirl
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callmeunstable Ā· 5 years ago
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Angels & Demons - Chapter 2
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Chapter 2
Characters: Reader, Godling, Healer
Summary: She finds herself in the middle of a unknown forest after falling asleep. It seems like a normal forest until she gets to meet a mystical creature that welcomes her in a different world.
Warnings: Monsters, Cursing, Blood
Words: 2.000+
A/N: Hey! This is the second part of my The Witcher Fic. I accidentally deleted this part so I had to reupload ot. Yes I cried, but thankfully I still had the draft saved on my laptop.
Disclaimer: GIFā€™s and PNGā€™s are taken from Tumblr and are not mine! Credits to the creators!
Tags: @marvelbrat @charliestuff
Song:Ā I couldnā€™t find the original one sooo
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Absently, Alva wondered if most of the monsters were meant to be as beautiful and kind as James, or if this one was an exception to the rule, her mind struggled to hold on to one thought, with a whole new world opening in front of her.
ā€œI know the healer of the village on the other side of the forest. Sheā€™s nice. She brings fruits to me from time to time. She will help you.ā€ James hopped in front of her leading the way out of the woods.
She couldnā€™t believe anything her eyes captured. There are bad creatures. According to the Godling, there are a lot of them. The boy explained to her, that ā€œDrownersā€ inhabit both natural and artificial bodies of water, from rivers and lakes to mill ponds and city sewers. It is commonly thought that these creatures are drowned men, somehow arisen from the dead to prey on the living. This opinion is as widespread as it is false, for the beasts are another post-Conjunction relict.
She couldnā€™t believe that this Godling just was a boy but knowing such crucial things about this life. She remembered James talking about the powers he has, thatā€™s how he was able to save her.
ā€œHey, play some more of your music, please? I love the sound of it and we have to walk some time.ā€ The Godling begged and gave his best puppy face.
She grabbed her phone and she had an idea. Maybe she was able to call or text her dad? Letting him know sheā€™s okay. She wasnā€™t sure if this was the best idea she ever had, but still better than making him believe she was dead.
No signal. Of course.
ā€œMusic, please.ā€
She pressed the icons on her phone monotonously and a random song started playing.
Ā ā€œOh dear, oh dear, Iā€™m sorry
That you grew up so soon
A cold year and no high school parties
Iā€™ve been drinking alone
Oh, Iā€™ve been drinking aloneā€
Ā ā€œA blessing to my ears. What's the name of this bard?ā€ The Godling started dancing along while walking in front of the girl.
ā€œWhat is a bard?ā€ These questions came automatically out of her mouth, wanting to know everything about this world.
Knowledge is power. Even in a world like this. If she knows what she has to be careful about, she can start to protect herself.
ā€œYou know the man and women writing songs and these lovely texts of legends, stories of their personal experiences, or their imaginations. I donā€™t care what they are about. I care about the melodies. I love the tunes.ā€ James seemed to drift off in a state where he was admiring the artists and musicians at this time the whole way out of the woods.
He specifically talked about a Bard called Priscilla. A young woman famous for her poetry.
Ā ā€œSo, don't fear, donā€™t fear their warnings
Theyā€™re bitterer than most
4 years of driving across the country
For empty seats at their shows
And theyā€™ve been drinking alone.ā€
Ā Less and fewer trees came along their way and after some more minutes, a village became visible. Still far away but the girl decided to turn off the music which was rewarded with an angry look of the Godling.
ā€œHer cottage isnā€™t in the village. It's right here!ā€
He took a sharp turn between some trees and as told, a small cabin was revealed in front of them. It was old. Looked like a typical middle-aged, self-made cottage. Random kinds of stones were piled upon each other, connected by something that seemed to be a kind of cement. A small chimney was built on top and was busy blowing smoke out of it.
ā€œSavilla! I want to show you, my new friend.ā€ The boy shouted and Alva begged it was quiet enough so no one around could hear them. She wasnā€™t ready to meet anyone in this world, at least for now.
The old wooden door of the cottage opened and a middle-aged woman stepped out of the house. She was beautiful. Her Long black hair was braided down to the small waist of hers. Her long dress was colored with a dark wood green tone. A small V-neck covered her chest mostly and the butterfly sleeves made her look like a princess. A less fancy princess but a gorgeous one.
ā€œHello, my lovely James. How can I help you today?ā€ Savilla had a warm smile on her face and holding her arms out for e hug.
The Godling happily jumped into her arms, to just leave them a couple of seconds later to point hysterically at Alva.
ā€œThis is my friend Alva. She got lost in my forest and a Drowner hit her. I think shes not from hear so she needs your help.ā€
Savilla laid her eyes on the small girl for the first time. Silently analyzing every single part of her. At this moment Alva realized that she was a unicorn in this world. Her clothes looked completely different from Safillas and Jamesā€™. She was wearing a red lumberjacket that revealed her sports bra. Some pair of sporty leggings rested on her legs and short sneakers tied on her feet. Her favorite outfit for hiking. At least her fake leather bag seemed to fit the surroundings.
It wasnā€™t hard to tell that if the person in front of her wasnā€™t a cosplayer of Lord of the Rings, she had to be stuck in some kind of middle age century.
ā€œYes, she's not from here. I can tell.ā€ The firm look of the women changed into a friendly smile. ā€œCome in, I think itā€™s the best if no one sees you like this.ā€
Both Alva and James entered the cabin. Inside it was beautiful. Flower and herbs were growing every in countless pottery. An out of stone made kitchen area filled the rest of the room with a cozy fireplace at the opposite wall. Different kinds of fabric and papers stuck to the wall. It was filled with colors and smells that made you feel instantly relaxed, at least if youā€™re a person like Alva.
ā€œYou donā€™t seem to be in a lot of pain.ā€, stated Safilla while grabbing a wooden chair and placing it in front of her, guiding her to sit down.
ā€œItā€™s pretty numb right now. It was worse about an hour ago.ā€ Alva tried to give off a normal impression. But what is normal in this world.
er ā€œThat what I was inferred already. You seem to be in shock. Your body numbed itself to protect you from the pain.ā€ While investigating the big scratch she explaining typical injuries caused by Drowners.
ā€œYouā€™re lucky that you had James by your side. Heā€™s a loyal soul.ā€ The healer tossed an apple to the boy who caught it happily.
Savilla mixed some unfamiliar herbs and bandaged it up with a clean cloth.
ā€œIt should heal fast, it's not a deep cut. You are lucky.ā€
The women put everything back in place and then grabbed a stool herself.
ā€œWhere are you from?ā€, she asked.
Where was she from actually? Maybe similar countries still exist?
ā€œOriginally my family comes from Sweden but I live in the USA at the moment.ā€ The girl explained but ended up not receiving the reaction she wanted.
ā€œI never heard of a place like that. I traveled a lot through Cintra, Temeria, and Lyria. How did you end up here?ā€
The girl got quiet. She didnā€™t want to cause any trouble. She was a stranger to this world. How much corruption was she able to cause?
Alva felt a hand on her shoulder. Savilla gently pat her and gave her a motherly smile.
ā€œLook dear, Iā€™m not here to hurt you. I can see you disturbed, even traumatized. You have no idea how you got access to this world, have you?ā€
The girl started to tear up and found herself in a warm hug of the healer. She couldnā€™t help herself but at this moment everything that was built up throughout the day suddenly burst out of her.
Every breath felt like acid burning heart throat, inflaming her lungs. Her heart felt like somebody was squeezing out every single emotion trapped in there. Like a sharp blade that is cutting straight through her chest.
ā€œMark my words, one day will come when you finally realize that fate is inevitable. One day you will get passed all this pain and realize it was a lesson learned for a better future, for a better you. You believe that this was an accident. But in our world, everything happens for a reason.ā€ Savilla didnā€™t break the contact because she knew that this girl needed it. This wasnā€™t the first time something like this happened. The same happened decades ago. When the monsters first got into this dimension.
ā€œI can teach you if you let me.ā€
Alva lifted her head and looked at the healer.
ā€œI can teach you how to survive in this world until we figure it a way how to get you back. You just need to let me help you.ā€
ā€œHow do you know?ā€ The girl was confused, more confused than she was, to begin with. How much does this woman know?
ā€œThis is not the first time a portal opened on accident. What we need to figure out is, if this indeed was an accident or if you have a mission you have to fulfill. I will help you. Thatā€™s my duty. Let me explain. Iā€™m a mage.ā€
Savilla explained to Alva that mages are basically what she knows as a witch. Only rare individuals have the potential to become mages and many of those with this potential are doomed to madness. Unless the individual in question - known as a source - learns to control their power quickly, he or she may end up a half-insane, slobbering oracle. That is why schools of sorcery were created, where talented children study for many years, acquiring knowledge and mastering magical skills. Because of their powers, mages age more slowly than ordinary people. Savilla herself attended a school called Aretuza. But she didnā€™t believe in their morals so she left and lives on her own.
Mages can extract magical energy from the four elements, transport themselves long distances and heal, as well as kill, in the blink of an eye. They have extensive scientific and political knowledge; in the latter respect, many mages are the equals of rulers.
A witch that is connected so some kind of rule book.
ā€œKnow you know about me, but for now we need to get you out of your clothes. They reveal your true identity. There are people out there who will view you as dangerous and theyā€™ll get scared. We need to give you a new persona. But for now, letā€™s start easy. No one will look for you because James took care of that. New clothes will at least give you the appearance of our dimension.ā€
Savilla walked in a different room and you could her searching sounds. Fabrics got thrown around after her steps came closer again.
As she walked into the room she showed off a dress similar to hers. The dress was white and it had some floral symbols embroidered in the fabric. Her sleeves were also long and wide, almost touching the ground. The White of the dress was mostly protected by a moss green light coat that had a corset on the front. The white dress was strapless but unseen due to the green coat. On top of that Savilla brought her some flat sandals.
ā€œI can give you some pants to wear underneath the dress if youā€™d like. Is more efficient when you have to move quickly.ā€ The mage was happy she could assist that young girl. She finally had a purpose to assist to.
Alva only nodded along, speechless by the kindness the woman was offering her.
Savilla walked up to her with a hairbrush and put her hair into different styles. ā€œAnd maybe we can do something with your hair, putting it up or braid-ā€œ, she hesitated the moment when she was putting her hair up. ā€œI think it looks fitting already.ā€
Quickly brushing Alva's hair down again.
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kazamastar Ā· 4 years ago
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Welcome to 2021
Ver. 2.1 - Ok. February but still, here we are. ā€œBehold itā€™s meā€ as Logic would say. [...] Iā€™m sorry Iā€™m a bit shook because I started to write at 10:01AM, and itā€™s precisely 12:07AM, I was progressing pretty well in the process of writting and then I made a bad move and lost everything I wrote. Iā€™m kinda mad. Really, I was thisĀ šŸ‘Œ close to give up on writting it, and you can notice that the pixels are touching. But I guess the ā€œI said Iā€™d do it, so Iā€™m going to do itā€ mentality is taking me places, once again. Even if I have to start again (that's called mental strength, take notes). And I said Iā€™d write it baked so here I am, baked and hella motivated to do it. So, W shouldnā€™t help me reminding me what I wrote in the first version but nevermind. So I guess I'll put the most things I remember. I can tell there were good ideasĀ ! I'll take this occasion to remind everyone the concept of these posts but first we will recap numbers of this year (well, more or less accurate for 2020 as I'm writting one month late) (and I'll fucking stop writting on the tumblr site and switch to OpenOffice so my next words are not lost again). 637 Nakamas (thank y'all for being here, even if I post 12847 times in a row. You're the best). 3609 posts and 23 376 likes. (109 draftsĀ : lol it's less than a few weeks ago)
Pic : Plot twist 2. No more smile, but the return of the bowtie. (aka Ā«Ā The 4 days late suitĀ Ā» aka Ā«Ā I'm old enough to know betterĀ Ā»)
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The choice of this picture was so simple. Or maybe I should have chosen the one with the mustache only I took during lockdown ? Ahah. But ā€¦ this picture could almost resume the year on its own. If I'd describe it in depth and explain the context, I could review 70% of the events that happened this year (and I think I'll go for that later, interesting exercise).
So. First let me explain the goal of these sums up. Each Ā«Ā Welcome to XXXXĀ Ā» is a resume, a sum up of the year XXXX-1. I write these for me, it's a funny way to keep track of all these years. I try to describe more or less precisely what happened during the year. I allow myself to be more or less precise because I firstly write these for me. And sometimes these posts tend to be long. Especially this one. It's gonna be sooo long. Like, idk maybe highlight this line and take a few seconds to scroll down and see how looooong it is. Kinda discouraging isn't itĀ ? Lucky you it won't go on forever though as today, as I'm writting that it's 12:23PM and I'll have to be gone at 4 or 5PM. But I think contraints make art, even if I don't like to write under any kind of pressure. But I'm determined to do it in one take. So in these posts I also write about the TV Shows, manga, anime, movies I've seen/read. Even books, as I finally had the chance to read Ā«Ā Le Petit PrinceĀ Ā» this year. We all know we had time this year, don't weĀ ? And at the end, I post a 12 songs playlist (+ songs that I discovered this year that also are going to remind me of the year). We can roughly say it's Ā«Ā 1 song/1 monthĀ Ā» but it's not always true. These songs are songs I like a lot, like really (but not necessarily my favorite) but above all, they remind me of the year I'm resuming (it can also be older songs). I also post my top 3 albums of the year. I'm thinking also of detailing my choices of playlist. Maybe not explaining all of them but a few. [12:36PM. And I'm already hungry.] On the 1st try I remember I talked about the TV shows I saw. I forgot to mention it but I write in English for a few reasons. First isĀ : it helps me exercising my English. For me, it's the most beautiful langage to talk and it's a good occasion to do so. And then I actually enjoy writting in English. And it prevents unwanted people who don't master English to read all that (as it is pretty intimate). But joke's on me, I'm conscious the people I'd like to keep away from reading this all master English, and even better than me for some of them. (It surely is the case for 27 at least, even though we all know she still won't read this lol). Yes, I never drop names in these sum ups. Or at least, some names are blacklisted. I always chose a number to nominate them they would normally recognize themselves. So, talking about English, I've seen Ā«Ā Emily in ParisĀ Ā» on Netflix. It may surprize you but I'm very interested in dubbing. French dubbing is amazing. For example I bought Ā«Ā SpidermanĀ Ā» on PS4 this year and the french voice is the same voice actor as in the Ā«Ā Amazing Spider-ManĀ Ā» (yes the one with Andrew Garfield). (UNPOPULAR OPINIONĀ : Andrew Garfield actually is the best spiderman. Or at least the one I prefer and by far). Emily in Paris is funny because I watched it in English and it kinda disturbed me that it took place in Paris but everybody spoke English. On the other hand, if you watch it in French, langages people are talking become logical (French people speak french) but you'll have to deal with the DEADLY ANNOYING French voice of Emily. And her accent. I think I just watched 1 or 2 episodes like that, I couldn't take more ?. If you have time you should take 5 seconds to listen to what I'm talking about. But it was quite a good show. It was so fun to see these streets I've been visiting for so long in a Netflix show. By the way, I think it's easy to say that I'm missing Paris so much. But not only for the tourism, but most and foremost for the competitions. Before being a tourist I was a competitor there. So, I'm missing Paris but I'm also missing karate competitions. And also just karate. I haven't stepped on a tatami for 3 weeks and it still seems like it won't get better, and we all know why. I'm curious if I could talk about this year without mentioning a very famous virus but I think it's just impossible. But this virus gave me a lot of time in March and April. Maybe less in November tho. I could finally finish The Walking Dead, which last seasons were surprisingly good. And it was so fun to watch the reactions of people on Youtube [#]. Talking about karate competitions, I also watched Cobra KaiĀ ! What an amazing job they did there. Adding more depth to the first movie, it's funny to change perspective and see that the Daniel we were rooting for wasn't that much of a Ā«Ā perfect good guyĀ Ā» we saw (I'm not talking about the kick in the face etc). It's also funny to notice I kinda went fro Daniel to Johnny lol. But having a Netflix show talking about martial arts and value they teach to their studentsĀ ? It was perfect, even more when you see that some of my students also saw it so when we were training I was refering to it they almost all got it. And it's also funny to see that it's not as Manichean as the 1st movie was. It's a 9/10 for me. If I read the last sum up right, I saidĀ : Ā«Ā This year 2020 I really need to watch Kimetsu no yaiba, Jojo, Violet evergarden, Gintama and i have to keep ready 7 deadly sins.Ā Ā» SoĀ : Kimetsu no Yaiba was dope. The anime was beautiful and the manga was very entertaining. Not a top tier manga but definitively a good one. Jojo's anime was cool but too long. I stopped after season 2 or 3 I guessĀ ? Violet Evergarden was TRASH (and very bad for a date, if you ask me) and I didn't take time to explore the 2 others. I also sawĀ : Assassination classroom (5/10, i couldn't finish it so i skipped directly to the last episode, was as moving as people said), ValidĆ© (8/10, with an insane final episode), No Game No Life (8,5/10, i loved it), Freaks and Geeks (7,5 but i didn't finish it, I really like the old school vibe), Code geass (7/10, great anime and great opening). I finally discovered Community and it was worth it. What a funny show. And what a pleasure to see Mr Donald Glover on screen. Makes me think that I need to watch Atlanta again. The problem with Community is the last seasons broke the 4th wall too much for me, it became painful to watch. But the 3 or 4 seasons are crazy. Another show that was even more funnyĀ : IT Crowd. I finally had the chance to see the episode of Ā«Ā I came here to drink milk and kick ass, and I just finished my milkĀ Ā». This show is a 9,25/10. Grand Army was also a great show of 2020. Dom is an amazing character (but I already said it). Kengan Ashura was also so coolĀ ! I think it's what Baki would have liked to become. This year I also started to watch Ā«Ā American horror StoryĀ Ā» again (alone and not alone). These last seasons were awesome. I also converted Elodi to Ā«my hero academiaĀ Ā», it was so cool to share that. Other things I sawĀ : SAO S4 (AMAZING, SO BEAUTIFUL), Erased, SNK Last season)Ā ; The Mandalorian, 24's 9th season.Ā«Ā Queen's gambitĀ Ā» have been one of the greatest show I've seen this year. And I really want to say that I played chess before the show came out (add me on Lichess if you want to play with me. Same username. I'm not strong -about 1000 ELO I guess- but I'm always happy to play and learn). If you want a precise idea of my level, on the chess.com app, I can beat EmirĀ šŸ‡¹šŸ‡· (1000 ELO) often but I didn't win once against SvenĀ šŸ‡øšŸ‡° (who is ~1100 ELO). I'm so happy talking about all these lengthen the post even more. Kinda satisfying. But I could also talk about Tekken and chess this year. I think I have a thing with dueling sports. I'm a Karate competitor, I love Tekken and I like chess. I guess someone has something to prove haha. But come on, chess is incredible. For the 1st lockdown, I was just playing (not alone) but I wanted to make progress just by practicing. And that's how I got BB 5 or 7 (yes, it means Beat By = my number of loss in a row). But at the end of the 2nd lockdown I finally allowed myself to study a little more, thanks to Youtube (once again). This is SO INTERESTING. Like the strategies, the top players. French content creators are fun but I like american ones more. Eric Rosen is my favourite. He's always calm, he often finds solutions. GothamChess is also very entertaining. You can say by how he talks he has been a teacher. He's great. So, once again on some shonen shit, I started studying more. Mid December, a kid beat me 2 times in a row. He's a smart kid, I like him. He didn't brag or anything. And then, during Christmas Holidays I spent 2 or 3 hours a day watching chess videos. I guess he hasn't been able to beat me since then haha. By the way I should play with him later on today. Playing chess is a way for me to make sure my brain doesn't let me down, like gym for the brain. At least, it's what I thought when I started but I quickly discovered that it's a game of patterns recognizing, so memory is really challenged here. I mean, in the middlegame you have to be smart to get by but at the beginning and ending ā€¦ you have to know your openings. I have also thought of joining a club but I don't know if chess communities are benevolent. I also noticed that high ranked players seem to have strong personalities. And then for Tekken (yes, 3 years and a half later I'm still on this game) I'm still making progress. In March, someone made me want to play Heihachi. What a funny character. Not top tier, but fun. Leroy Smith is also fun to play. There was no offline tournament but I won one, the 1st organized by Tekken Toulouse and finished 5th at the second. It's funny to live that level of stress straight from my bed. Usually, that kind of stress making my whole body trembling is usually found nearby tatamis of Karate competitons. (Yes, these Tekken tournaments make me stressful and that's the reason I can't play Jin in tournaments). But Eddy is still a sure value. Still progressing in movement, and whiff punishing. Mishimas are getting more consistent on electrics but it's not perfect. By the way, if you love fighting games and Bruce Lee, there's a video you need to see (whoever you are)Ā : [#]. If you're really interested in these topics, you should appreciate this video as much as I did [2:10 PM. I have eaten, but now I have the feeling that I'm late.] Btw I don't skip line to add some Ā«Ā lengthĀ Ā» effect. Once again I'm sorry if making it until here was painful to read, but I need to make this paragraph the least attractive I can. This line I'm writting is almost on the 3rd page of OpenOffice. And I try to avoid using emojis, so there's just text. Tout dans le fond, pas de forme. Also, congratulations for making it until here, you must be very motivated. I'm writting slowly because it's the 1st time I write this by daytime, and I swear at the begining people were harassing me ahah. It's fun because the sum up of 2019 was so short. Just with its form, you can tell how 2019 have been peaceful. I don't remember if I talked about it already but a disaster could have happened in September/October 2019. But karate kept my mind busy so the worst have been avoided. Time spent on the tatamis kept me away from overthinking about my problems. And that was a good strategy indeed. Because in 2020 it wasn't the same. If we count right. Dojos were opened in January, February, 1st half of march, reopened in September and october, closed on november and opened in December (Mon Dieu quel ā€¦ CASSE-TEX hahaha merci c'est tout pour moi). It was a weird karate year. Today is the 1 year anniversary of my last competition. During the 1st lockdown, I had litteraly no desire to train. Some of you know why. But let's talk a bit more about COVID and lockdowns. The most important thing is that I didn't spent the 1st lonely. This was the most challenging time of my life, but I can say that I made it thanks to 0808 so I'm eternally grateful for that. So, if we recap months by monthsĀ : January was a funny month. One thing that I thought a miracle happened (until I found out months later what a real miracle was). I also almost went into a brawl. I guess this weird ass month set the tone for the 11 months to follow. February ā€¦ was one of the calmest month. I had an awesome dojo session in Balma with 0808 in February. I think there were a lot of beautiful sunsets this month. Guess our weather power was at its peak. These 3 1st months of 2020 had a lot of trainings, even if I was injured due to kumite. March and April are kinda the same for me. I won't talking long about these but I'd simply say that I'm glad that I hadn't to write to 27. So, the Miracle happened by mid April. Mid april to mid may, it was cool. We were at home but ā€¦ the weather was nice, I was doing sport everyday (but no real karate trainings) and I could keep this rythm of exercising until ā€¦ Half July, which is good. It's the first time in my life I'm that consistent in doing sports at home. From mid may, I started to train with Coach O. on a weekly basis. It was incredible. These days were still bliss in my mind. I was there, no Ā«Ā real problemsĀ Ā» in mind, I wasn't alone, I was making progress physically ā€¦ It was really great. And from mi may to end of July, it kept getting better.Indeed, I fell in love again in January and it was getting stronger by the months. It's been a while I haven't fell this hard for someone. But she gave it back to me nicely. And then ā€¦ Mala suerte 3.0. This point of the sum up is funny because I do remember when I talked about mala suerte in the other sum ups. I do realize how it's always the same thing when I write thoseĀ : Ā«Ā 1st part of the year is cool, then not cool, then cool again but in a weird way because I have insane difficulties to repair broken parts of meĀ Ā» but hey. This time it's not my fault. It makes me realize how cyclic all this is. So, August, September and October have been terrible and chaotic months. A level of sadness rarely reached until there. Maybe comparable to September 2018. A high level of anger also. But still, with rare occasions to train, so no occasions to let go off steam. In fact, let's talk a bit about this anger. I've always took a lot of pride in the fact that I could most of the time remain calm in a lot of situations. Plus, being patient isn't something natural but ā€¦ I learned to be through the years. I was so surprised to notice how angry I became ā€¦ It simply wasn't me. But the reason is simpleĀ : I really think karate brings me balance in life, on a lot of levels (and it concerns me a lot for when I'll stop competing one day ā€¦). But I realized it so I'm working on it. In 2020, I led a lot of fights, sometimes I won and often I lost, but I also avoided a lot of them. One of the reasons I think I'm not ready to be a good partner isĀ first I think I'm too angry. I don't think I could be mean to my partner but ā€¦ I think I could be annoying to deal with. But mainly, I'm not ready to better myself now. To find the good partner, you need to become a good partner first, and this is precisely what I'm not ready to become. Despite being not perfect, I'm fine that way and I know how far from perfect I'm right now. But nevermind. This is the kind of state of mind you can't afford when you're in a relationship. I'm not saying you need to change to fit your partner's ideals. But if you notice something's wrong in your behaviour/habits and don't want to correct it, you might be a bad partner (but I could be wrong, I'm not a couple therapist lol).
Oh. And that's the moment I can describe my photo to tell the story differently. So this shot was taken precisely on Sunday, 4th of October. 1302 got confirmed so we had to go to the Temple du Salin. I went there with my father and he decided to rock a bowtie so I wanted to match him. It was so fun. That was the first time we stepped in a church after Ā«Ā all these eventsĀ Ā». It was a strong moment for me. So, this picture (taken by me, thank you tripod) was taken 4 days after I Ā«Ā took a gambleĀ Ā». I took a lot of gambles this year. One memorable gamble that lead to beautiful pictures of Toulouse was on August 27th (lol). This was after our breakup. I gave her an adress and an hour, and I hopped she would come. She never came so this was a lost gamble. (So I had a great time watching Ā«Ā Back to the futureĀ Ā» outdoors, on a big movie screen, but I was alone). But this time was different. I did suppose she would be at one place on a certain day at the end of September. And I gambled right because she was there. And even if the context was so particular, I can tell we had a great time. I was so ready that I put on my best white shirt, because I knew she kinda liked it. I was there to win her back but I simply failed. Guess the shirt wasn't enough. So it was funny to wear the full suit 4 days later, I was like Ā«Ā Dude, nice effort but it's too lateĀ  lolĀ» (plus the Temple du Salin is on the other side of the closest bridge from her home) but I still hopped to cross her road on that day. Oh and as we're analyzing this picture, I really like the bokeh on the autmun-colored leaves. I had the luck to have a very sweet light when I took these pictures. And the post processing was really funny. I have a lot of versions of this picture indeed. But all these colors in the background always make me think of a quote I loveĀ : Ā Ā«Ā Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things goĀ Ā» and this quote is so damn right. I discovered this year that I have difficulties to let things go. The thing is I hate injustice. I hate to see things that litteraly belong to me, things I deserve, simply run away from me. Sometimes I'm telling myself it's just my karma making me pay for all the Ų“ŁŠŲ·Ų§Ł† I've done in the past. But other times I just try to convince myself to let go. It's been the 2nd most challenging thing this year. These levels of depression have never been reached before. But still, here I am. But not stronger than before. I had this conversation a few weeks ago about Ā«Ā what doesn't kill you makes you strongerĀ Ā». To support this idea, some people might evoke the principle of Ā«Ā KintsugiĀ Ā» as an example. But I strongly disagree about the first statement. I'm not a goddamn bowl. I take the example of my lower belly scarĀ : it didn't kill me but it didn't get stronger either. That's the exact opposite indeed. Sometimes it still hurts even though it's been done 12 years ago (the last time it hurt was this night, almost stopping me from finding sleep). It's a personal opinion but what didn't kill me made me weaker. And I'm not just talking about physical injuries. Losing the ability to trust after all these events isn't what I'd call Ā«Ā getting strongerĀ Ā», even though Ā«Ā I didn't do anything wrongĀ Ā». That's an expensive price. Bref. I think you can overcompensate with something else but the damaged parts may stay weak after. [3:03 PM. So I have about 1 hour to finish it. Easy.] There's one thing I wanted to talk about in this sum up, related to the fact of Ā«Ā being strongĀ Ā». I read Blach again (you can tell by my december posts) and I started with the lost agent arc, followed by the TYBW arc. There's 2 things about itĀ : its poetry, through the words and the drawings will always amaze me (it amazed me even if itā€™s the 2nd time Iā€™me reading it), and the 2nd thingĀ : I love how Ichigo become stronger. He lost his Shinigami powers but then found his Fullbring powers. And that is very important because he becomes strong again, but it's a different kind of strong and I LOVE THIS. It's like in real life. I was very strong in June 2012 (videos as proof), but it's not the same strong as in July 2017 or April/November 2018. June and July 2020 have been a different kind of strong. Not that I gained 10 kgs in 2 months (unfortunately) but I was exercising daily. I was getting my body ready for the supposed heavenly month of August that was awaiting me (us). Unfortunately there was no videos of karate at this period (but I made some in september!) but I was feeling great physically. In fact. This May/June/July 2020 period could be considered as ā€œblissā€ for me. Of course there was some background problems but ... Mentally I was getting back on my feet, I was deeply in love, physically pretty feeling myself. Plus on the 1st half of July i could go back to the tatamis ... I swear this level of peace and life appreciation have rarely been reached before. Well, this concept of getting stronger differently is almost obsessing me for a simple reasonĀ : I'm feeling like I'm getting older. 27 is a weird age for competing in karate. If I look back, I realize I'm older than William when he stopped (it's his birthday tomorrow!!). Also older than Zak, Teddy and so on. I guess I'll never be physically like 10 or 5 years ago but I'm really asking myself if I can be better. But as seen as the pains I go through after the trainings ā€¦ It's going to be complicated. Plus I did my body wrong this year. There was pain in mars, april, august, september, october, november and december. I tried a lot of things to make it go. I tried to smoke it, i tried to sleep it, i tried to drink it also. I tried to fuck it of course but none of these things worked. But can we consider I won if only my cock still worksĀ ? Compared to 2018Ā : yes it is a win. And at least when I'm with someone, that makes less time crying and overthinking shit. Anyway, I also tried to smoke it really hard. And that's an habit I'll have trouble to let go but nvmd. Still, one of my 2021 resolutions is to smoke less. Also, I took a funny resolution that isĀ : Ā«Ā I'm not accepting defeat this yearĀ Ā». And I realized only a few days after taking it how hard it will be. I'm not dumb, when defeat is unavoidable, I'll just take it. But I decided to be a real Scorpio and be more stubborn than ever. We can say it's above all pride. Same pride as Vegeta, Bakugo or even Endeavour. Really touched me when Bakugo talked about Ā«Ā Absolute victoryĀ Ā». Sometimes I find myself too soft. I'm not going to become an awful person (or at least, not more awful than I am right now). I'll still be kind ā€¦ But I'll go get the victories I deserve a little harder. Talking about my age, I'm a bit deceived I have no close old friends to share the memories. Every one is kinda gone. Sometimes it's my fault, and sometimes it's just people who are shit but life's like this. Also, every year I try to think of my best encounter of the year. It's kinda hard because sometimes, you meet someone a few years earlier but you really get to know each other later etc ā€¦ So I'm not clear if this should count only people met this year or simply the people I've spent the best times with. Because I received a curious message this summer and my God. What a luck she took the chance to write me. We realized a few days ago we were in the same class in 10th grade (2nde) (we saw the class picture, what a laughter we had). We get along so well. And it's the proof that 2nd chances deserve to be given. I swear that I also lost some important people this year. But I'm not fighting to get people back anymore. I've done it too much and I'm simply done. People need to realize it's a luck to be in my life. I have my ways but you'll hardly find a friend that's patient and kind as I am. But nevermind, it always makes more time and attention for the people who are here, who really care for my hapiness. Focusing on the people who are here was one of the main concern this year, for a lot of reasons. I thought I was good for selecting the good people in my life but looks like I still can improve. So I'm still letting people go off my life. [3:36PM. Guess I said mostly what I had to say. Maybe 5 pages is enough, but maybe not.] Oh I can still tell the rest of the year. November have been one peaceful month. Away from all the obsessions. Focused on me. No karate but still courses by videoconference. The weather was very sweet even tho it was November. This second lockdown was not that funny but we've seen worst. And December ā€¦ had it's ups and downs. It was cool to meet my kids 1 month after all these video courses. They clearly got stronger, it was cool. I could also talk about my experience as a sensei this year because there's a lot to say. At the beginning of February, it was my last competition but also for my kids. We litteraly took the competition by storm. On Ć©tait TROP CHAUDS. But then the Covid stopped us. We kinda were ready for Occitanie championship, if you forget that I was sick the week before the competition. I'd have loved so much to see how far their training would have taken them on this competition. But thank God they cancelled it, guess He didn't want to see me lose ahah. So, I've seen a lot of kids getting better. What a pleasure. Later on this year I told them that I wanted to see them become stronger than me. Seems clichĆ©, but I'm happy they took it seriously. Of course I'm dead serious. We also talked about I will be waiting for them in Senior. Hope they'll continue until then. And above all I hope I will still be competing. I really want to have a positive impact on these kids, competitors or not. And I guess it's working. (Btw I'll surely do a post about Whitebeard soon, just to show him love). So. What lessons can we draw from this chaotic yearĀ ? Always treat your high school comrades well. Be picky about who you let in your life. Before engaging in a relationship, ask why her previous relationship ended. Trust no B. (And BBW's are heaven sent). Now it's 3:50PM and I guess I'm done. But I keep myself the possibility to add things if I think of things to add. It's 6 pages long (Arial, 12) but if I can make it longer I will.
[Friday. 00:55AM] EditĀ : Ok. The story is funny. I really wanted to finish that in one day. So I wrote the previous lines between 10 AM and 4 PM Wednesday knowing I would need more time, just to check and to add a few more details. And one of those Lonely Wednesday Night would have been perfect just to finish the job. So I planned to finish it on wednesday night but the fact is I forgot my computer home ā€¦. So here I am one day later. Still baked, so still in the right state of mind to do it. It gave me time to proofread myself (?) and most importantly, it gave me time to read again some of my previous sum ups. It was interesting to compare how they're all different, and also how my writting evolved. Tbh I think I'm becoming more comfortable with my English. Or maybe the more I express myself, the more I look at ease with the langage. This sum up is the longest I've ever written. But still, I'll add things because I still haven't told everything. For example, I haven't spoken about the fact that all the Kazamastar adventure might be closer to the end than the beginning. Like, I'm not immediatly done with all that. I'm still having a lot of fun here. Anon visitors are also part of the game, but it's still all fun. It also keeps my Ā«Ā photograph eyeĀ Ā» opened. This makes me think of the quote Ā«I want to be so awfully happy that I never need to write poetry again.Ā Ā» [#] and more preciselyĀ I'm thinking about : do I post more when I'm happy or sadĀ ? But I noticed this tumblr kinda works like therapy for me. (And especially, this post is a therapy by itself. Wednesday I woke up feeling bad, lower belly aching and making this post really helped me going through the day.) I post a lot when I'm sad but it really allows me to get all of these negative feelings out of me. I do stylize things but I know I'm not a poet or anything. But can you imagine being so happy that you don't write againĀ ? Would be an amazing feeling. (Indeed, I've already done it once [#]. I've ended a blog on a perfect happiness and yes it felt amazing. ) Imagine if I do it here. After all the trials and tribulations I went through, it would be a perfect way to finish this tumblr. But as I'm speaking, I think there's like ā€¦ less than 5% chance that it ends happily. If it does, it could be in a long time. I have a few ideas of when and how it could end, but Imma have to keep these selfishly for myself. You'll see when we'll get there.:) Also, I'm realizing right now the things I'm adding to the text make the timestamps through the text a bit less accurate but that's just a detail. [2:37 AM] Earlier I talked about this blog being a therapy for me. But itā€™s not only this tumblr. This year I proudly finished another tumblr (yes you can guess I was proud as I posted about that 17325 times already and pinned a post). This was such a relief to end it after letting it still for litteraly 2 years. Well thatā€™s it for tonight !
No transition : let's go for the explanations of my choices for the playlist followed by the playlist itself. It's kinda easy to understand why Ā« la mienne Ā» is here, for the first month. ThisĀ ā€œI canā€™t touch you Iā€™m not allowed toā€ really made me think of someone and this someone came back. Incredible. The next song with a Boogie is perfect for February. Very peaceful month, really full of very good moments (in the backseat of a certain car for example). The 2 next songs are for March. These are kinda Ā« lockdown anthems Ā» as The Weeknd album came out right at that time and so did Laylow's. Plus Ā« Escape from LA Ā» have the vibe I really love from Abel. 2 next songs are for April. Dsvn really smashed when he put that Ā« A muse in her feelings Ā» album. (and the Ā« Amusing her feelings Ā» is even better but that won't happen before January 2021). The sequence between Ā« Outlandish ā€“ Keep it going - flawless Ā» was one of the best thing I heard musically this year. But keep it going is insane. Ā« Meilleurs Ā» from Oboy is ā€¦ special. And so are the 2 following songs. Meilleurs is now blacklisted but it's still one good song. But I can't listen to it anymore. Maybe that's exactly because it reminds me June and July. Count me in reminds me precisely of August 8th. Btw what a funny day, very far from all expectations we built up through the years (let's remind that the countdown started with more that 400 days, but I guess patience and loyalty is not always rewarded). I might digress from the playlist one second, but on this day we were in Treilles with the guys, and thank God I had them in this moment ... Thatā€™s when I drank to heal, with ā€œcount on meā€ for soundtrack. For September, I hesitated between Ā« DEUX TOILES DE MER Ā» or Ā« MEVTR Ā» (which means Ā« Meilleur d'Entre Vous Tous Reunis Ā», the 1st stage name of Damso). Damsoā€™s flow on MEVTR is huge. He makes a whole verse rhyme and on but ā€¦ 2 toiles is more iconic. Talking about iconic, Ā« Bande organisĆ©e Ā» wasn't a masterpiece but a force to be reckoned with (i find this expression funny ahah). I mean, in hip hop nowadays we don't see often rappers teaming up with big groups like that. Plus on this song particularly some of them have interesing flows and a lot of energy. And you can tell it comes from the South. Not of them are goods, some are excellent but this makes a very decent track. Ā« Route 66 Ā» was cool, even tough it's for November (so 2nd lockdown) it gave me really lovely vibes. And I take this occasion talking about November 2020 to remind it was the 10th anniversary of Kanye West's MBDTF and I celebrated it the right way hĆ©hĆ©. Finally, this featuring is really ending the year well. Dinos dropped an insane album, his best since a long time and Tayc also (respectively Ā« Stamina, Ā» and Ā« Fleur froide Ā»). So having them on the same track was risky but it paid very well, incredible vibe from those two combined. They could have been in the top 3 albums but some people made better than them. Trinity is my top 1 one 2020. The concept, the musics ā€¦ it was INSANE. QALF was also great. It's insane to see Damso get rid of Ā« artistic barriers Ā» to focus only on sound and music. No communication etc ā€¦ Just music. And Eternal Atake from Lil Uzi Vert because it was long awaited but also because it was perfect, also a 1st lockdown album so it helped me forget my loneliness but so much good tracks ! And finally we have the very special songs that I coudn't tell why I like them. I just love their vibes. So now is 4:15 PM and I'm offically finished but I still have to tweak it. Know I won't hesitate to add things that are related to 2020 and that come to my mind :) Thanks for reading me. Have a lovely day, or night.
2020 Playlist
Tayc ā€“ La mienne (Accoustic)
A Boogie ā€“ Reply feat Lil Uzi Vert
The Weeknd ā€“ Escape for LA
Laylow ā€“ NakrĆ©
dvsn ā€“ Keep it goin āœØ
PartyNextDoor ā€“ Believe it feat Rihanna
Trippie Redd & Russ ā€“ The Way
OBOY - Meilleurs
Kehlani - Serial Lover
Juice WRLD & Marshmello - Come and go
THEY. - Count me in
Damso - Deux toiles de mer
13 OrganisƩ - Bande organisƩe
Joe Dwet File - Route 66
Dinos & Tayc - Je wanda
SpĆ©cial : Lil Tecca - Last CallĀ  YNW MellyĀ  - City girls
Jessame - Times we had ~ Dennis Lloyd - Never go back ~Ā  Elliot Trent - computer love
3 top albums de 2020 :Ā 
Trinity de Laylow - Qalf de Damso - Eternal atake de Lil Uzi vert
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purplesurveys Ā· 5 years ago
Text
918
Have a friends survey, because Iā€™m really missing mine.
-- List 8 Friends of Either Gender --
1. Andrew 2. Jo 3. Aya 4. Gabie 5. Hannah 6. Angela 7. Laurice 8. Aliyah
Questions About These Friends
Does number 4 have a driverā€™s license? Yeah. Iā€™m pretty sure we were part of the first few people in our high school batch who learned how to drive and get our licenses.
Can number 7 speak another language? Well yeah, she can speak Filipino. Everyone on the list can at least speak Filipino.
Does 2 know your parents well? Not so much. She knows the basic stuff about my parents that I tell everyone, like how my dad works abroad.
Have 3 and 5 been in the same room together? Multiple times, until Aya graduated. All three of us were in the same applicant batch in our org so we spent a loooot of time together.
Does 1 have similar music tastes to you? Broadly, yeah. I know we both like R&B and hip-hop but heā€™s faaaar more passionate about the genre and heā€™s a lot better at picking out artists and songs.
Has 6 ever stayed at your house? Sheā€™s visited a handful of times, but I prefer going to her house instead. I donā€™t really have a lot to offer here whereas we never run out of things to do at her place.
When did 3 last text you? If we are talking of strictly texts, November 2018. Aya was never a good replier on text lol. But my last notification of her in general was at 4 AM today, when she sent a meme to our friendsā€™ group chat.
Does 5 have any pets? If so, what do they have? Nope. WELP I donā€™t know actually. She lives all the way in Bacolod so her home life doesnā€™t get raised much. I know she loves dogs though.
Does 7 live in the same town/city as you? Nah, sheā€™s a south baby through and through.
Have you ever lent something important to 8? Iā€™ve never even met her yet. We keep planning to especially since she works in Metro Manila now, but our schedules just never work out.
Can number 1 sing well? Yes. Heā€™s done a lot of singing gigs and as far as I know he even put out an EP at one point. He has a sick stage name too.
Does 2 have any siblings? Nah, sheā€™s an only child.
If 4 called you at 2 AM, what would your reaction be? Take it and assume she has trouble falling asleep.
Who is 8ā€²s best friend? Iā€™m not sure; I donā€™t know her all that well. I would assume itā€™s someone all the way in Mindanao, since thatā€™s where she grew up and went to school and her whole life is there - she really only moved to Metro Manila for work. Thatā€™s why I feel for her sometimes and keep offering to meet up, so she can feel less lonely.
Does 6 have a favourite tv show? If so, what is it? She loooves watching TV series but I never knew what her favorite is. Good question, Iā€™ll have to ask her this soon.
Who out of 5 and 7 knows you the best? I say they both know me on the same level but I think Laurice does slightly more. Weā€™ve had deeper conversations, so itā€™s a safe guess.
Does 4 have a boyfriend/girlfriend? You are reading her answers right now. ;)
Does 2 have a career/knows what they want to be? Yes, sheā€™s always wanted to be a journalist. Sheā€™s entering her senior year now and Iā€™m really proud and super impressed with her for being able to keep up such a demanding, brutal passion; I was burned out from journ by freshman year. She even helps run a fact-checking website now :) It had just been a requirement in her class to come up with a fact-checking website but theirs got SO successful, racked up some awards, and now itā€™s still going.
Have you ever kissed 1? No. Heā€™s like a brother to me and that just sounds like the weirdest scenario.
Does 3 have or want children? Yes. I know she wanted them when she was with Jo, but Iā€™m not sure if sheā€™s changed her mind lately.
Does 6 have any piercings or tattoos? Yep, on her ears.
Do your parents know 8? No. Sheā€™s an internet friend, so I never get to raise it in conversations. And I doubt theyā€™ll be happy if they found out I made a friend on the interwebs anyway.
Which Number...
Have you had romantic feelings for? 4.
Have you told a secret to? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8. Iā€™m pretty open with my secrets, as dumb as that sounds lol
Have you shared a bed with? 2, 3, 4, 6, 7.
Have you watched a movie with? I remember watching The Devil Wears Prada with 2 and 3. Iā€™ve watched several movies with 4.
Have you seen cry? 2, 3, 4, 6.
Have seen you cry? 1, 4, 5. 5 hasnā€™t seen me cry but she has definitely heard me.
Have cooked you something? 6 and 7 :) Theyā€™re also the biggest mom friends on the list, so Iā€™m not surprised.
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? 1, 4, 6. Iā€™m not sure if 2 and 3 are still together; we never get to update each other anymore. Have met your parents? 2, 3, 7 from a meeting we once held at my house. And 4 and 6, of course - theyā€™re my momā€™s favorites.
Have been to the same school/college as you? Everyone except 8.
About Number One What age are they? He turned 22 in June.
Have you met their parents? Never. He canā€™t give less of a shit about his dad so I donā€™t care for him, though. I know heā€™s super protective of his mom.
Have you ever been in a relationship with them? Not at all. He wouldnā€™t be my type, and like I said heā€™s a brother to me more than anything else.
Do they like most of your other friends? We mostly have mutual friends, so. I know he likes my best frieinds though - he was even the one who reminded me about putting Angela on my thesis acknowledgments.
How often do you two meet up and/or talk? Back in school we used to see each other around 1-2 days a week. Heā€™s a little busier than I am since he takes side gigs, so heā€™s not in campus all the time.
When did you last argue? Weā€™ve never fought but the last time I got quite upset with him was last December. We were rushing to get our thesis draft submitted on time and apparently he submitted the file to our professorā€™s VIBER. He for sure got an earful from me that day.
What is their favourite food? Iā€™m not sure. He does tend to have unpopular food opinions so I wouldnā€™t be surprised if his favorite is not a common choice.
Where is their favourite place to be? On the basketball court or anywhere with Leigh, Iā€™m guessing.
How many close friends do they have? I know of at least two - JM and Blanch. He is friendly and has an extensive circle though, so Iā€™m sure Iā€™m missing several other close friends of his.
Number Two What colour are their eyes? Dark brown.
Have they known you the longest? Not at all. Iā€™ve only known her for three years.
Where were they born? Iā€™m guessing it would either be Manila or Makati.
Why are they your number 2? She just fell on the second slot. I was trying to randomize my friendsā€™ names and hers just turned out to be the second one I thought of.
Do they like children? I donā€™t know how she feels about them exactly but one thing I know is that she doesnā€™t hate kids, and weā€™ve had numerous conversations on what weā€™d do in certain scenarios involving kids.Ā 
Would they beat you in a race? I think so. But then again I did track at one point, so Iā€™m walking onto that contest already with an advantage.
When did you last spend time alone together? Ugh cā€™mon man, this question is just sad. Jo had been hanging out at Skywalk less and less ever since most of the people in our friend group graduated last school year, so our last real hangout was probably that time we slept over at Lauriceā€™s in June 2019. We never hung out a lot after that, and of course the lockdown just killed any chances we had of doing so.
Do they have a pet peeve? What is it? She has a lot of pet peeves but I canā€™t place any of them at the moment.
Number Three What is their hair colour? Black, as do most Filipinos.
What is their job, if they have one? Last I heard she got a gig with a major broadcasting network. I think sheā€™s a segment producer? Segment researcher? Something of the sort.
Do they have their own place? I donā€™t think so; not just yet.
How many brothers or sisters do they have? I know she has a sister. Iā€™ve forgotten if she has a brother.
Have you ever done something illegal with them? Yes hahaha illegal in university terms, at least. When we had free time and we saw that no one was using one of the classrooms in the college, our friend group snuck inside and played The Devil Wears Prada on the projector. As the only goody-two-shoes in the group I was super uneasy the whole time, but literally no faculty or staff checked in on us for the entire film. That was the moment I knew I was no longer in private school, where everyone watched you like a hawk lol.
How old were you when you met each other? I was 19, she was 21.
Are they more sporty, arty or academic? ARTSY. Sheā€™s one of the best artists Iā€™ve ever seen and she can absolutely fucking slay any editorial cartoon.
Have you ever travelled out of country with this person? Nope. I would love to.
Person Four Do they have a favourite musician? St. Vincentā€™s been her fave for the longest time.
Have you drank alcohol with this person? Many times. When I drink sheā€™s usually around.
Are their parents together? Yes.
What do you enjoy doing with them? EATING OUT!!! I also love going to new places and museum strolling with her, but yeah nothing works for me better than food with my favorite person.
When is their birthday? June 5th.
Do they have long or short hair? Long.
Have you been to a concert with this person? Yes, when we went to (illegally) see Coldplay from the top of a parking lot. Still felt like we were part of the concert grounds though.
If you asked them to describe you, what do you think they would say? Determined, hates to lose, and annoyingly generous.
Person Five Where did you two meet? I met Hannah on our enrollment day for our sophomore year in college. She and Macy had transferred from UPLB to UPD and since Macy and I were already friends from high school, she introduced me to Hannah. Then we became a lot closer when it turned out we were both applying for the same org.
How long ago did they phone you? We both hate phone calls and weā€™d hate to call/be called.
Do they have a certain sport they play? I donā€™t think sheā€™s very athletic herself, but she loves watching UAAP games and she has a particular affinity for volleyball.
What about them annoys you sometimes? I never found her annoying. I did notice that her one weakness as a co-worker is her fear of being assertive, putting her foot down, being confident to come up with her own steps on how to come up with steps towards a situation, that kind of stuff. She often wanted someone who she felt like was more knowledgeable to be by her side and make all the decisions. But I did see her bloom a bit after a few months, so Iā€™m proud of the progress.
Are they ruled by their head or their heart? Heart.
Are they male or female? Female.
In what ways are they the opposite of you? Sheā€™s religious and she loves to sing and perform.
How many rooms do they have in their house? No clue; Iā€™ve never been to her house. Iā€™ve never even been to her city.
Person Six Can they play an instrument? I think she knows *a bit* of guitar. But sheā€™s not crazy gifted when it comes to musical instruments, I know that much.
Are they close with their mother? VERY. And she has no reason not to be - her mom is the nicest and most compassionate person Iā€™ve ever met. Always treated me like family.
Do you know any of their siblings well? Sheā€™s an only child.
How many times have you visited their house? Countless, especially in high school and in our first few years in college.
When did you last go out to eat together? Feb. It was one of the food stalls at The Palace and we needed to eat away all the alcohol lol.
Do they own a bike? I havenā€™t seen one in her place so Iā€™m assuming no. Her neighborhood is not very bike-friendly to begin with, so itā€™s understandable.
Do they have a sweet, sour or salty tooth? She has a...green tooth? Hahahaha she likes eating healthily.
What music genre do they listen to most? Pop, pop rock, indie, indie rock.
Person Seven Would you ever consider dating this person? Probably not. Sheā€™s SO stable and happy; Iā€™m still working on it. I wouldnā€™t want to dump my shit on her vibrant and bubbly outlook on life.
Do they prefer cats or dogs? Dog, I think. I donā€™t know for sure though.Ā 
Are they or do they plan to go to college? To study what? Yes, sheā€™s in her senior year now. Sheā€™s also taking up journalism ā€“ itā€™s how we met.
If they did something illegal, what would it be? I highly doubt that would ever happen lmao, sheā€™s super nice and such a goody-two-shoes. If she got caught doing something illegal itā€™s 100% only because she was with someone who did the thing.
Have you ever shared a sundae with this person? Maybe once or twice.
is their hair dyed or natural? Itā€™s all black now, but at one point she dyed it light brown.
Is this person sarcastic? She can be, especially with people sheā€™s close to.
Is this person more likely to party or sit in and read a book? SIT IN AND READ A BOOK. Literally the most accurate option.
Person Eight Have you ever lied to this person? I probably have. Weā€™ve only ever talked on social media, where itā€™s a lot easier to tell a tiny lie and get away with it.
Do you know where this person was born? Somewhere in Davao Iā€™m assuming.
Do you know their middle name and do they know yours? We know each othersā€™ second names because have them put out on Facebook; but not our middle names.
Do they have any special talents? If she does, I donā€™t know about them. Sheā€™s amazing at writing though.
What is their starsign? Whatever star sign falls on the first half of December.
What is the first thing you notice about this person? Ever since the time she tweeted that she doesnā€™t like smiling with her teeth, her smile has always been the first thing Iā€™m drawn to.Ā 
Have you ever had a big row with this person? Never.
Do you like the same types of movies as this person? Not really. We met because she was friends with my friends who liked the same things she did, but when it comes to us we couldnā€™t really be any more different.
Random Stuff
Which of these friends would you say you are the closest to? Gabie, of course.
Can you remember all of their birthdays? Iā€™ll give it a shot. June 22, December 31, December 5, June 5, January 16, September 15, May 23...and Aliyahā€™s is in early December, Iā€™m certain.
Is there anything you regret saying to any of them? I guess only towards Gab, because Iā€™m closest with her and weā€™ve been through the most together.
Which one of these has been there for you the most? Angela.
Which one have you known the longest and the shortest amount of time? Iā€™ve been aware of Gabie the longest (18 years); been friends with Angela the longest (15 years); and been friends with Andrew the shortest (about a year and a half).
If you needed a laugh, you'd call... I wouldnā€™t call my friends if I needed help...but if I needed a laugh Iā€™d turn to Anj or Andrew.
If you needed advice, you'd call... Mmm Iā€™d pick among Andrew, Aya, Gabie, Angela, and Laurice.
Which one does your parents like the most? ANGELAAAAAAAA. Sheā€™s That friend that I can name-drop when Iā€™m asking for permission to go out, and once my mom hears that sheā€™s going to be with me she usually wonā€™t hesitate to say yes haha.
Is there any of these your parents dislike? They donā€™t dislike any of them but I have a feeling theyā€™ll disapprove of the fact that I made an online friend in Aliyah, especially my mom.
Do any of them share the same initials? Andrew and Aliyah do.
You can invite one with you for a once in a lifetime trip, which one? Angela.
Something you'd like to say to one of them: I miss you. That applies to everyone.
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