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starbeltconstellation · 4 months ago

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So I gotta ask, do you have any headcannons(or cannons I guess since you're the author) about Melanie and Anakin that you can share without spoilers to much.

I'm going through Rewrite the stars withdrawal lol

Awww, thank you so very much for the ask, dear! (And so sorry again about your Rewrite the Stars withdrawal. 😭 Things have been crazyyy in my life. My bro was in the hospital for a while, but he’s okay now though. Also just me fighting my never ending depression spells 🙃). 😅😂

I would be happy to offer some “head” canons! Or canons, technically, as you said. 😂 Lol.

Essentially, this has become like one big, long SW meta analysis and meta analysis on my SW fic, Rewrite the Stars, and Anakin and Melanie’s characters. Sorry for the long response. 😭 I got really into explaining my thoughts. Haha.

I’ll put this under a read more, as it’s VERYYY long:

I’ll just say that the entire reason I started this story is because well, I wanted a fix it fic of course. 😂 But also just because I wanted to write this kind of grand, epic tale in general, just like Star Wars is supposed to be.

A lot of fics I’ve seen like this completely demonize the Jedi most of the time and blame them for their own genocide. And the ones that don’t, also flip it the complete opposite way around and demonize Anakin to where he’s nothing but a cackling demon who kicks puppies for fun (and well… would he do that AFTER the prequel trilogy when he’s in his emo Darth Vader era? Probably. 😂 But he wouldn’t be CACKLING while doing it. He’d be very bitter and callous about it, because Anakin likes to take out his anger on the world when he’s in pain, so by GOD the entire galaxy is gonna be in pain along with him).

But anyways, I’m kinda getting off track.

My point is: the whole reason I started my SW fic is because I wanted to write the type of epic, grand tale of a fic that I’ve been looking for that treats all of its characters with love and respect while ALSO still calling out their flaws and allowing them to grow. That includes everyone: Anakin, Padmé, Ahsoka, Barriss, Mace, Obi-Wan, Dooku, Satine, etc—EVERYONE.

I feel like fandom has become this toxic environment where if you’re criticizing a character, then… (le gasp 😱)… you don’t really LIKE themmm. (Untrue. 😂).

I love, love, LOVE Anakin. He is my hot, insane, child killing bastard of a mans.

… But I also hate him too. 😭😂

I HATE what he’s done and what he believes in after the war and how he just wallows like a child in his pain. I HATE how selfish he is (while at the same time heavily relate to his fear of death and losing those he loves to them dying/growing older). And I also HATE how damn close he was to making a better choice, but he DIDN’T, because in the end, it didn’t MATTER if Anakin technically knew the ‘right’ way to act. He purposely went against it, because he was just too selfish to let go of Padmé (he kinda did a self fulfilling prophecy with her death, but we’re not gonna talk about that part right now), and so he decided his happiness meant more than the entire galaxy, and burned down his childhood home like a school shooter and helped genocide his friends just for the CHANCE to save his wife.

And all of this, in the usual fics I’ve seen, can somehow be undone, just by changing a few little moments in Anakin’s life where he doesn’t get his feelings hurt: ie; Obi-Wan faking his death, Ahsoka leaving the Order/being framed by Barriss, or Mace/Qui-Gon/whoever-the-fuck-you-want-to-say being assigned as his Master instead of Obi-Wan.

And just… no. 😂

As shown through this wonderful SW blog here:

Anakin doesn’t do what he did because, oh, “This, this, and THIS happened to him”, and if you take that away and help him avoid it, he’ll suddenly change and be all warm and fuzzy inside and won’t burn the whole fucking galaxy just because HE cannot handle Padmé (MAYBE) dying and leaving him alone (when he wouldn’t even really BE alone, but Anakin also clearly puts Padmé/romantic love above all else. He might care for his friends and family, but he’d throw them all under the bus if it came down to the wire between them and Padmé). This is something I will go into in the fic as Anakin slowly starts to take a look at himself as he realizes: “wait… wtf? Do I even KNOW what Rex does outside of work? 🤔😨” for him to realize that he’s so obsessive over one person… that everyone else is slowly becoming put to the wayside.

Stopping one or two little things in Anakin’s life during the Clone Wars isn’t going to magically make him see the light and not be a currently ticking time bomb.

That is not how change WORKS. Not REAL change anyway. All of the fics I’ve seen written, usually hand wave a lot of Anakin’s misdeeds and flaws away, and pretend like if you hold Anakin’s hand through certain parts of the war and help him avoid THESE certain moments, that he’ll suddenly just magically become a better person who understands what being selfless and less greedy actually means.

That… is not true change. TRUE change is Anakin HIMSELF realizing slowly but surely as the war goes on that he’s slowly becoming someone he doesn’t recognize in the mirror anymore (*cough* Mel line drop from upcoming chapter? 👀✨ *cough*). TRUE change is Anakin HIMSELF working through his flaws and inner demons, before he gradually begins to realize with a sense of sickening horror that he has been WRONG: ie; massacring an entire Tusken village down to the last child while never telling another soul except Padmé about it and whistling happily to himself without a care in the world as the war rages on.

TRUE change (as you might’ve started to guess from the most recent chapter of my fic) is Anakin HIMSELF slowly but surely starting to question his actions, by comparing them to other people he respects and cares for.

Which brings us to your question on “headcanons”.

The entire purpose of the relationship between Melanie and Anakin (besides me living vicariously through her 😂) is that they are a MIRROR for each other.

Melanie and Anakin, while very different, aren’t COMPLETE and total opposites. There are purposeful parallels between them: their moms, their care of droids, their fear of losing those they love to death, and the PURPOSEFUL CHOICE GIVEN TO MELANIE BY THE SHOPKEEPER 👀 that parallels the choice Anakin is given at the end of ROTS by Palpatine himself in their choice to help the galaxy or be selfish and choose themselves/their own wants instead.

There is a quote I have based their relationship off of. I will share it here (if you are still with me, because I know I ramble a lot 😅😂):

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.

—Elizabeth Gilbert

Melanie and Anakin are meant to have parallel journeys, even though their personalities are very different. But it’s more than that: their fatal flaws are in direct conflict with each other.

Anakin’s fatal flaw is: greed/selfishness.

Melanie’s fatal flaw is: fear/judgement.

BUT as they are forced into working together… the more they interact with each other… the more their fatal flaws are FORCED to be challenged by the other.

Anakin’s more selfish nature is challenged more and more by just being in Melanie’s presence and watching how she acts with complete compassion and selflessness in certain situations, which makes him slowly start to look at himself internally and take a look at his own actions and thoughts, gradually beginning to realize how selfish he’s slowly become without even realizing it.

Melanie, in turn, has the purposeful flaw of judgment, which can make her self righteous at times (even if she IS correct most of the time 😂), and also the flaw of fear, which as readers have seen, makes her a bit more cautious than she should be in her actions on trying to outsmart Palpatine to save the galaxy.

It’s kind of ironic: just being AROUND Anakin slowly begins to challenge Melanie’s fatal flaws (since she was completely fucking terrified of him the very first moment she realized she was in the SW universe and realized Anakin/Darth Vader was real now 😂). She sees things in such a black and white way at first, but as time goes on, Anakin’s need to be gentle with her and prove himself to Mel, makes her question her judgment with him, which allows her the ability to give him a chance. In turn, just being in his PRESENCE challenges her other fatal flaw on fear, since he’s a walking nightmare PTSD trigger for her pounding heart (and not always in the fun way 👀💓❤️‍🔥☠️😂).

Anyway, my point is that they aren’t just meant to be together romantically to be TOGETHER. It’s because I have purposefully tried to develop a romantic slow burn relationship that comes with my story to weave itself against the original theme of Rewrite the Stars, which is this: TRUE change and atonement/redemption.

Anakin physically CANNOT get closer to Mel, until he forced himself to take a step back and give her some space. If he wants to get anywhere with her, he HAS to start looking internally at himself to try and change and be more gentle with her.

Melanie, in turn, CANNOT outsmart Palpatine and win the war without Anakin’s help and working together with him over the next three years of The Clone Wars. She HAS to get past her judgment and allow herself to swallow her terror enough to give him a chance, because she NEEDS him to win.

This is a chess match between her and Palpatine, remember? And if you lose the king, you lose the game.

ANAKIN is the king. 👀

I bet you can’t guess what chess piece Melanie is. 😂 Lol.

Anyway, I feel like I’ve done a whole lot of taking in circles (sorry about that 😅), because I wanted to go ahead and explain my whole process for this fic while I had the time, so I can also refer this post if I ever need to again.

Now! Getting into some more FUN Stuff:

Idk if you’ve looked up my fic on Wattpad, but I have a lot of cool graphics posted there from my mind and from other artists/authors that have gifted me such wonderful cover art ( @shoniwake ! 👀✨❤️), and in a certain subsection, I have a whole playlist page dedicated as a type of ‘outline’ for the entire story of my fic (fair warning, it’s a lot 😅), just because I think it helps me with planning stuff out.

I won’t tell you all of them, of course. But I’ll share a few of my favorite songs that I always think are the PERFECT songs for Melanie and Anakin’s relationship and their slow burn romantic development. 😭🥺💔❤️💕✨

Innocence by Nathan Wagner

Stronger Together by Lou & SQVARE

Now I See by Lou & SQVARE

I love these three songs so much, because of their theme of two people coming together as a team and/or learning to open up their hearts to the other and to help the other person the see world in a different way. 🥹❤️💕

This is basically what I want for Melanie and Anakin. Their relationship isn’t just about having a romance in the story (although that’s part of it. Haha 😂💕). It’s about how their relationship meshes in with the rest of the themes of the story: TRUE change and growth into something better.

Melakin is purposely written to be in direct contrast to Anidala (which is still written with care and not erasing their genuine affection, by the way! I think it’s extremely lazy writing to write a canon relationship OOC just to prop up your OC’s own), which shows the difference between a more healthy developing relationship that is based on genuine care and respect (Melakin) and in contrast with one that is more based around idealizing the other person/ignoring their faults and putting them up on a pedestal that is sure to lead to disappointment (Anidala).

This is, as you know from reading the fic, slowly starting to be shown in how Anidala acts with each other in their trash fire (in my opinion! Don’t kill meeee! 🙌😂) of a marriage, which has them basically talking past each other/not really caring about anything that isn’t SPECIFICALLY RELEVANT to the other person (ie; them. Not anything with their family or job. Just THEM. Because while the love is genuine, it’s also eerily obsessive, which was GL’s whole point of them being star crossed lovers that burn out from their own flawed choices in regards to being together and trying to have it all).

This is also shown in my fic with Melakin vs Anidala contrasting each other in Anakin’s choices and how he interacts with them. Anakin REMEMBERS stuff about Mel’s life and choices that really he has no need to care about, but he does anyway. In contrast, there is a scene in the latest chapter of my SW fic where Anakin forgets a very… important member… of Padmé’s family 😭 (If you know, you know 👀🫣😬). 😂

I guess what I’m saying is is that I’m trying to not PREACH to the readers of my fic. I’m trying to write scenes that SHOW them what I believe to be true in regards to Anidala’s toxic relationship/the Jedi being scapegoats that everyone cruelly blames for their own genocide/how the Jedi culture might not be how THE READERS want to live, but it doesn’t change the fact that it IS a valid culture/way to live, and it doesn’t deserve to be eradicated just because you don’t understand/like/agree with it.

I’m trying to lead up into the themes and lessons of my fic as I go along, is what I’m saying. 😂 Which is a really heavy feat, considering how long it’ll end up being as a grand, epic tale. 😩

And a big part of the theme of my SW Fic: genuine change and growth into something better than you were before (ie; TRUE redemption) cannot happen to Anakin as easily as some of the time travel fix-it fics/other fix-it fics I’ve seen written on A03 before. Changing a few little things so Anakin doesn’t have to deal with a few moments in his life is not GENUINE and TRUE change. What that is is essentially placation. It’s PLACATING and CODDLING someone dangerous, which allows them (for the MOMENT) to calm down, because they are generally happy and have the things they want and aren’t under stress like Anakin was in the ending of ROTS when there was nobody there to hold his hand for him to ‘guide’ him in the right direction.

For TRUE change and redemption to happen for Anakin, he has to admit to himself that he was WRONG.

He has to ADMIT and ACKNOWLEDGE that actions he has taken are horrific (the Tusken Massacre), and accept people’s/the Jedi’s judgment on it without becoming defensive and acting like he’s being unfairly attacked and punished for something not that big of a deal. He has to ADMIT and ACKNOWLEDGE that his thought process has slowly but surely become corrupted over the years without him even realizing it, whether that’s from the war or Palpatine stroking his ego or from the trauma of his childhood making him cling to things too hard—it doesn’t really matter. He has to RECOGNIZE that he has become someone over the years that he can’t even recognize in the mirror in relation to that little nine year old boy on Tatooine (about how selfish he has become), and what he can do to change that.

I know some fans will think I am attacking Anakin and that I hate him or something (and well… I DO hate him… but I also love him 🫣☠️❤️😂), but that is not the case. I LOVE Anakin’s character and truly relate to him on such a deep level in terms of how terrified he is of losing the people he loves to death. I can recognize myself and some of my worst fears deeply in him.

However, at the same time, I can also acknowledge that Anakin’s trauma from his childhood (from slavery/his mother dying in front of him), has essentially made his entire personality completely self serving. Because yes, Anakin can care about other people. He cares about and loves his friends. He’d do anything he could to keep them from harm (at least in TCW era 🥶☠️), but the hard truth is… he doesn’t think of his relationships and saving them from death in terms of what his LOVED ONES deserve or what THEY will lose if they die. He thinks about it in terms of what HE will lose if they die.

He straight up says it in the scene with Mace and then the scene with Palpatine: He NEEDS to keep Palpatine (who he KNOWS is an evil Sith Lord) alive, because it’s the only way he can keep Padmé alive. HE can’t live without HER.

There’s genuine love there. I am not denying that. Anakin isn’t a cackling villain like Palpatine (it’s the whole reason Anakin CAN be talked into coming back to the Light Side by Luke, whereas Palpatine would melt Luke’s fucking face off without hesitation if he tried). He cares and loves his family and friends and wife and kids… in a TOXIC way. In an OBSESSIVE way. In a way that is essentially all about HIM: ie; selfish.

Example 1:

Out of context, this sounds very romantic and simply just a reasonable amount of worry. But in relation to all the other things Anakin will end up saying while referring to Padmé as essentially a possession, I’m placing it here anyway as perhaps a sign of his darkening thoughts.

Example 2:

Yes, yes, I knowwww… some of you ladies will be like: 🥺💔 at the sad murder puppy moment. And I suppose it’s still very evil wet cat bastard level/blorbo of him in a intoxicating way for people who want to feel loved—at the same time, he’s essentially saying: look, man, I don’t care if I gotta murder some kids and betray my friends and descend the galaxy and Republic into darkness (which I know my wife will be fucking horrified at). It’s very important that I DO NOT have to deal with this pain, okay?? 😭 Everyone else can be in pain, but not meeee. I’ll crush and stab my friends in the back just so I won’t be left alone from my wife dying.

Very sad. Very wet cat villain blorbo of him.

And yet—VERY selfish and evil. 😭��‍♀️👀😂

He’s essentially saying—fuck the galaxy. Let me get mine, and I’ll go home. ☠️

Example 3:

This one’s pretty obvious. By this point, he’s lost his shit. His mind’s already cracking at the seams as he tries to keep justifying the actions he’s taken, which will eventually lead into his 20 year long dissociation where he essentially goes, “Nahhh, that wasn’t meee. That was DARTH VADER. Anakin didn’t do that, because ANAKIN is still a good person (he mutters to himself over and over like a maniac at night in his emo villain lair), whereas I AM THE DARK INCARNATE. 😌🖤” so he doesn’t have to admit to himself that HE—yes, THAT he, Anakin fucking Skywalker—has become an actual terrible fucking person with no heart. 🤷‍♀️😭😬

I don’t see why this is so hard for SW fandom to get. It’s a METAPHOR George Lucas uses to say Darth Vader killed Anakin (and also just a way to plug up the plot hole of what Obi-Wan originally told Luke in the first movie). It doesn’t mean that Anakin’s consciousness is sleeping inside Vader’s head like a fucking cat. Lmao. 😭

Not only would that not make SENSE in terms of how GL wrote it, but it also just essentially makes Anakin’s ‘redemption’ (I don’t really view it as a true redemption. More like just the Christian version of salvation for his soul by the skin of his teeth. Although GL did say Anakin was redeemed in the eyes of LUKE only, because he said some crap about being redeemed in the eyes of our children) all but useless. 😭 You can’t say on one hand that Darth Vader’s ‘redemption’ is the most iconic one of all time, while at the same time saying on the other hand that “Anakin never did any of those things. It was DaRtH VaDeR! 🤪🤪🤪” because then you’re essentially absolving Anakin of all of his crimes while on the Dark Side, and if Anakin is absolved of all of his crimes… then wtf is there TO make him the most iconic ‘redemption’ of all time??? 😭🤷‍♀️ I mean, like—what IS there to ‘redeem’ at that point??? Ya can’t have both, kids. Lol. 😂

This is also essentially what Anakin wanted in terms of his relationship with Padmé and the Jedi Order. He wanted it ALL. He wanted BOTH. Sureee, he TALKED about quitting the Jedi Order eventually after the war to be with Padmé in a little space cottage. But could he WALK THE WALK? Could he really give up the thrill of chasing an enemy, or the twitch of his fingers in reaching for his lightsaber? 😑🤔 Me myself has some doubtssss.

He wanted it ALL. He wanted to be married while ALSO having the strength and power that came from being a Jedi Knight. He didn’t WANT to choose. He even SAYS it.

Example 4: Essentially this SW meme

He doesn’t want to CHOOSE. And it’s why it’s BS when it’s argued he was put in this position by the Council’s rules on marriage, because it’s LITERALLY just like a vow of a priest at a Catholic Church. They can’t marry either, just like the Jedi Order. BUT (unlike what fandom likes to believe), the Order isn’t some cult, and you are free to leave at any time (and hell, they’ll even build a statue after you leave, apparently, if the one they built of Dooku that’s in the Archives (I think) is anything to go by), just as a priest is free to leave the Catholic Church at any time. Because it’s a COMMITMENT to that place. And people might think it’s dumb/stupid/not like it—or even understand it! And you don’t HAVE to like something from a religion/culture/belief, or understand something, to still respect it (another theme drop for the next chapter of my SW fic? 👀😂).

So, what some people will probably wonder is—“But, Starbelt! (Le gasp 😱) Then how is the Jedi culture going to be respected in my fic, if Melakin is still endgame at the end of their slow, slow burn?”

And to that question, I say, “I am not a by-the-book-to-the-very-LETTER interpreter of the Jedi Code (although I’m not saying the code of an entire culture is gonna be ‘changed’ for legit one person/couple. Lmao. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️😂), but I AM a Jedi lover who is of the belief that—even if you don’t completely AGREE or even UNDERSTAND the Jedi Order and their code—it shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t be difficult to respect it. It shouldn’t be difficult to not scold a culture on their beliefs, while essentially saying that belief is the reason it is ‘good’ for The Force/galaxy that they were genocided as a ‘clean slate’. 😬🤦‍♀️☠️”

What I WILL say, is that I am going to explore the Jedi Order and the different interpretations of the Code and The Force in general in this fic, and what that means in terms of coexistence, instead of the frankly childish notion of just painting an entire culture as emotionless and wrong in their beliefs, like they are some kind of stuck up, snooty and rich culture that ‘deserved what they got’. 🙄🤦‍♀️😬☠️

ANYWAY, back to my point with Anakin, and how my fic is trying to complete the most massive and epic of all writing tasks: making Anakin slowly change and grow out of his greed and selfishness into a better person in such an organic way, that perhaps may one day be compared with the likes of Zuko’s redemption from ATLA (I know, I knowww. Pretty high hopes for myself. Lol. 😂).

So, essentially, in the original “timeline” of ROTS, Anakin is freaking losing it, and since nobody is there to hold his hand, he descends right into the core selfishness that is buried inside of him, where he basically just decides, “Fuck it,” and throws all of his morals out the window so he can keep himself from the pain of losing Padmé (ie; it’s really about HIM and his fear, and not about Padmé deserving to live and see more beauty in the world) by cutting off Mace’s hand to stop him from killing Palpatine, because—in Anakin’s OWN words:

Example 5:

Like… 🤷‍♀️😭.

People like to sing “Lalalala,” and plug their ears by pretending Anakin is just so shocked in this scene (le gasp 😱) that Mace is being so UN-JEDI-LIKE, and that it just convinced him that the Jedi Order truly has been ‘corrupted’. 🤦‍♀️🙄

Now see… that might hold some water if Anakin literally didn’t scream “I NeEd HiM! 😡” at Mace like an unhinged five year old, which literally PROVES that the only reason Anakin wants Mace to keep Palpatine alive and not to kill the guy yet is because he needs to learn the super-secret-Dark-Side-magicy way of how to save himself from the pain of losing Padmé to dying in childbirth.

… Because like some may recall, Anakin LITERALLY beheaded Dooku himself all but like… what? 12 hours ago? 😭🤦‍♀️

Essentially, this meme:

So, essentially, what I’m getting at here is: Anakin is a goddamn hypocrite. 😂

Now, in relation to my SW fic? What I essentially am TRYING to accomplish, is to have Anakin slowly CHANGE HIMSELF as the war goes on and he interacts more with Melanie and witnesses her compassion, while in turn comparing her actions to his own.

Melanie isn’t supposed to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ Anakin. Anakin is supposed to be INSPIRED to change from how he grows to care and admire Mel’s choices and who she is inside her heart as the Clone Wars rages on.

I do all of this, so in the HOPES that when he is presented with this scene again, it makes perfect sense to all readers of my fic that his choice may become different—essentially choosing for ONCE, a more selfless route, out of no expectation that he will gain anything in return (that only happens with Luke like—20 years later—and it’s not like he had many other options at that point. 😭🤷‍♀️ Lol.).

(And as I said—MAY become different… 👀 After all, Melanie still has a long way to go before the end of the war… 👀)

But yeah—that’s my plans with my SW Anakin x OC Fic, Rewrite the Stars, and how I’m planning it and Melakin’s relationship to go. I placed a big feat on myself. 😂❤️💕

If you wanna see some of my like… ideas/notes on what I have planned to eventually place in there somewhere, I will show you a few things, because it’s not really SPOILERS, since I already talk about the Jedi genocide a lot anyway (it drives me up the wall when SW fandom refers to it as ThE FaLl Of ThE jEdi 🤪🤪🤪). Guess it makes it easier to blame them all for their own deaths that way if you refer to their genocide and slaughter as a “fall”. 😭🙄 Idk. 🤷‍♀️

I also have some stuff with the history of Churches splitting into different factions (ie: The Great Schism of 1054), which I will be weaving in as a parallel at some point. 👀👀 I will not explain why, as that would be too spoilery, but I’m sure some of my more in depth analysis readers on my work could guess if they thought about it hard enough… 👀

There are also some comparisons on the Jedi genocide in the SW universe, and how it parallels the Air Nomad genocide in the ATLA universe pretty much to a T in terms of how fast it all happens in one day, and also how any survivors were hunted down and lured out with relics of their own culture, not to MENTION just the fact that both of these cultures are just non-western inspired in general (seriously, what is with people and killing monks in Temples? Lol. 🤷‍♀️😂). It’s also just an interesting comparison in general, because where the ATLA fandom usually is quite sympathetic to the Air Nomad genocide, on the other hand, the SW fandom is so nauseatingly nonchalant and cruel about the Jedi Order’s genocide that it’s almost downright weird. It’s almost like the SW fandom has this THING about never calling the Jedi’s “Fall 🙄” what it actually was—a horrific genocide. I swear to Godddd, SW fandom must be allergic to the word. 😂🤦‍♀️

I also threw in the ‘Hero’s journey’ thing I’ve been using for Melanie to try and make her a relatable protagonist, while also still having her own character arc along with Anakin’s. It was really important to me that she had her OWN arc away from Anakin, and that she had more connections and relationships in the SW universe than just him. Not only does it weaken her character if she had been made to be all about HIM, but it also just makes a certain… choice… 👀… with The Shopkeeper (her antagonist who parallels Palpatine, Anakin’s antagonist) hit all the more harder, because saving the ENTIRE GALAXY isn’t even about saving ANAKIN at all for her. Not at first, anyway.

Instead, from the very beginning, it’s all about how Melanie grows to care and feel compassion for the people she meets in the SW universe and becomes friends with, and how she cannot turn away from them and leave them behind to die, when she has knowledge that can help change their fates. It was SO important to me that Anakin is not even on Mel’s RADAR at first. She doesn’t hate him or anything. She doesn’t want him dead, but it’s not really about SAVING him either (if that happens along the way, it’s a happy bonus for her). Because—as you know—she’s TERRIFIED of him in the beginning, and just plans to avoid him like the plague.

And in doing so, she grows closer to others in the SW universe: Ahsoka, Rex, Yoda, Fives, Obi-Wan, all of the other clones, etc. ALL of that is so important for a certain choice she makes with The Shopkeeper (which I won’t spoil for any new readers who may stumble across this post and want to read my work 👀😂).

So, essentially, my fic is a grand, epic tale, that our main protagonist, Melanie Bains, is going on to save millions of lives in a galaxy far, far away from death and suffering.

No pressure, huh? 😂😬

That’s definitely going to crack and fracture at Mel’s psyche as time goes on… 🥶 The weight of such a feat on one’s shoulders essentially all alone becomes overwhelming. 😓💔 (*Cough* Hint for next chapter? 👀 *cough*).

So I’m really trying to follow that ‘Hero’s journey’ format. I already have her character arc outlined with a clear beginning and end. I just have to find the will to write the thousands and thousands of words to get there to that point. 😩😭😂

It still makes me so happy how many people relate and enjoy Mel. 😌🥹❤️💓🥰

Some planned themes I am going to weave in as the story goes along:

Example 1: Genocide

Air Nomad genocide propaganda from ATLA:

Jedi Order genocide propaganda (Not sure if it’s from before or after Order 66. Either way, it’s meant to rile the populace up against them and demonize the Jedi as ‘other’, like emotionless wizards that are barely human and aren’t capable of true compassion since they’re a ‘cult’ and not from ‘true’ familial structures, unlike the ‘good ol’ regular populace with their attachments 🤪’) from SW:

Example 2: Church factions splitting up/The Great Schism of 1054

Example 3: Hero’s Journey (Mel’s character arc)

… Now, moving past that long meta ramble, here’s some more songs from my playlist on Wattpad for Melakin’s developing romantic relationship and it’s slow, slow burnnnn. 👀💓❤️‍🔥😂

Borderline by Florrie

Let Me In by Michael Corcoran

The Chain by Ingrid Michaelson

Minefields by Faouzia & John Legend

Unlike the previous songs in the earlier part of this meta post, THESE songs are more about Melakin struggling to open up to each other. I’ll admit, a lot of it is more focused on Anakin trying to get Melanie to open up to him, because he doesn’t understand why she’s acting so terrified of him at first.

The one song that’s more about both of them trying to find common ground is “Borderline”, which is meant to be them both reaching out and trying to meet each other halfway. 😊🥰🥺❤️💕

And if you’re wondering what my favorite song is out of all of them?

It’s the “Innocence by Nathan Wagner” song. WITHOUT a doubt. It’s the PERFECT Melakin song that is basically what the whole arc of their relationship is supposed to be. 😭🥹❤️💔💕

Whew, that was a long post! So sorry about that. 😅😂🤷‍♀️ I just got really into talking about my fic and my writing process. I think this has even helped me with motivation! Losing hyperfixations is a bitchhhh. 😖😖

The only other thing I will add is this to hopefully ease your and everyone else’s minds: I may have to go on hiatuses every now and then because of writer’s block or a family/life problem like the recent one with my brother being in the hospital for a while. BUT! No matter WHAT, I will NEVER abandon this fic. It is literally gonna be my damn life’s work—I swearrrrr. 😖✊😂

To end this long SW meta off, I’m going to link another two great Pro Jedi SW meta posts from the wonderful Pro Jedi blog I mentioned earlier. Feel free to check it out if you want, because it’s a lot of Mel’s thoughts on the Jedi, and part of the problems she has to find a way to solve as the war goes on by trying to keep the Jedi in favor of the public’s eyes:

To any new readers that stumble across this and are curious enough to check out my fic:

Tags:

@ensomniaa

@heartfairy

@fangirlteallie

@xreadersunite

@shoniwake

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rochenn · 3 months ago

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hi ! if you’re willing, i’d love to know more about the world building for leave your rifle by the door? i’ve not had chance to read chapter 2 yet, but i really enjoyed what you established in the first chapter so i’d love to hear more about your process/any details you want to share?

Thank you! :D

Rifle is interesting worldbuilding-wise because it sprung up from some musings about another entirely different fic I'm writing (jury's out on whenever that will be fit for posting but I'm excited!)

It's so fun thinking about how Republic and Separatist policy would develop without Palpatine around since the Republic is already headed for military autocracy whether he is alive or not. And the Confederacy has barely been around for a few years by the point the war ended, so giving that whole clusterfuck another decade or so to find its identity along with Dooku having to play actual politics instead of conspiracy peek-a-boo can go practically *anywhere*. I have a neat post-19 BBY timeline in my head for Rifle in that regard

I'm also taking plenty of inspiration from political dynamics in the Weimar Republic for this. Write what you know etc etc, but not too much to keep it nice and Star Wars-y. I'm trying to somewhat match the Andor vibe but for the sake of spoilers I shall shut up now 😤 I need my codywan bedazzled with the plot... can you believe this was supposed to be a short fic... haha

#shit got out of hand AGAIN #anyway ty for asking i love to yap <3 #ask #fic: leave your rifle by the door

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tennessoui · 6 months ago

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Hello! This might be positively deranged of me, but do you have director's commentary for this ficlet you posted nigh on two years ago (https://rb.gy/4epfmv)? I love it deeply.

I've been following you for a few years now, and I'm very impressed by how your writing has grown. I really love your stories/headcanons/aus. Thank you for everything you do!

(link to a prompt fill for "meeting at the ER") (gffa, vaderwan)

what an amazing memory omg i genuinely love this ficlet, even though it's a great example of how i enjoy taking a very simple prompt (meeting at the ER) and making it as complicated as possible (so obi-wan and vader are on opposite sides of the war and they get injured in the same battle and must recoup in the same med tent but obi-wan doesn't know who is on the other side of the curtain from him because vader's helmet is off so obi-wan hears the voice of a young man for the first time and he can't see him and vader slowly grows obsessed with obi-wan's kindness and obi-wan only figures out it's vader when dooku comes to break him out of the medical wing and vader kills the guy opposite them who told obi-wan to stop talking---)

i adore identity shenanigans in fics. i'm a simple bitch. look at my fics honestly, this shouldn't surprise anyone i have like. 2 fics where veils are used, 1 fic where time travel is used, 1 fic where obi-wan almost fucks an alternate dimension anakin without knowing it's anakin, 1 fic where anakin is deaged and put into obi-wan's care like. i love identity shenanigans SO MUCH it's so fun to write what would happen if pre-conceived notions about someone are forcibly abandoned and you're just faced with who they are as a human and who they could be to you and this ficlet encapsulates that perfectly

shamefully though this part:

“I hope you recover a day after I do, Anakin.” Anakin sounds caught off guard. “What? Why?” “If you are the first to leave, I think I should miss your company.”

is completely ripped off of that winnie the pooh quote about living to be 100 minus 1 day lol i think anakin would be such a winnie the pooh fan no matter how many years he's been vader.

anyway it's about the softness and the normalcy and the kindness obi-wan offers to him!!! when he thinks he's just a civilian who may have fought on the wrong side!! it's his capacity to sympathize and understand and how much vaderkin needs someone to sympathize and understand!!!! it's the power of making connection through small talk <3

there's no way this verse ends with anything other than obi-wan's kindness winning over vaderkin's most horrible actions and impulses and vader being dragged into the Light because he realizes he wants obi-wan's soft words. he wants obi-wan to ask him about his day. always.

(send me a "director's cut" ask!)

#asks #obikin #what a memory tho fr this ficlet never really became an au #but i also love it as is #and thank you!! for the follow over the years and also #honestly my writing has absolutely changed and grown so much #in good and less good ways #and im so happy you noticed <3

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calcedon79 · 8 months ago

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I was bored

Okay, to prevent total withdrawal, I'll serve you guys from the mine crew a little treat from a nonsense story I write on from time to time. It's only roughly translated and not stylistically polished (and it's late). So have mercy.

Boli, this opening chapter was heavily inspired by your Mud story, but somehow our chaos-blorbos have to run into each othe

Random acquaintances

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Sifo-Dyas brushed a few sweaty strands out of his eyes. His hairband had fallen victim to a low-hanging branch. (Message to self: pack a second one for next outing)

"Of course," Jocasta Nu gasped stubbornly, struggling the last few meters up to the ledge of the old castle wall, "Master Sinube did say we could look around a bit."

"Yes, but we were supposed to stay in sight," grumbled the third of the group, his normally immaculately groomed initiate tunic soiled and torn in one place. (Stupid thorns)

" We are, Yan." The petite girl took a deep breath and put her arms on her hips. " We can see the big plaza from up there."

"I don't think that's what he meant," the slender Minashee boy dared to disagree.

"Mmmpf. Then he should phrase it better next time." She stared calculatingly up the half-collapsed defensive wall. Why did all the masters thought that Jocasta was the voice of reason in their trio? (Laughable!).

"Come on, exploring an old fortress like this is much more exciting than listening to lectures about textiles all day."

The two boys looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. "True enough."

From the courtyard of the old fortress, there was the sound of metal hitting stone.

"Let's go and have a look."

"Jo, do you really think that's a good idea?" Sifo-Dyas made no secret of his skepticism.

"Oh, don't be such nunas." The eldest of their group rolled her eyes. "Come on. Let's go and see what this is."

"If we ever die trying out one of your ideas, I won't say another word to you," was Yan's reply as he walked past her.

After all, it had also been Jo's idea to bypass the fuse on the old turbolift and travel to the lower levels of the temple. (Maybe they should have checked the power supply first. Their two-week stay in the Halls of Healing had been no fun - neither had the trouble they'd gotten into with Master Sinube).

Jaster lowered his Beskard. (Okay, actually, it wasn't his.) Why did ba'buir have to take this job? No fighting, no proper libraries, how dull!

"That looks interesting," a friendly voice interrupted Jaster's exercises.

In front of him were three other children his age. Locals? Although, the other people's clothes were much more colorful than those of the newcomers. Maybe it was a school uniform or something. Jaster shrugged inwardly.

"Did you hurt yourself?" the tallest boy asked cautiously, taking a step towards him. "We didn't mean to scare you."

"No, no. Everything's fine." Jaster hurried to his feet. "I just didn't hear you coming."

"It's important to always keep an eye on your surroundings." The second boy's dark eyes scrutinized him coolly. At least until a blow to the back of his head from the girl sent the little guy staggering forward.

"Yan! Behave yourself and be polite," she hissed, to which the black-haired boy immediately muttered an apology in Jaster's direction.

Wow, the petite figure had her companions well in hand.

"Uhh, no problem. No harm done," Jaster waved it off. "My name is Jaster Mereel, by the way, and who are you?"

"The tall one with the long hair is Sifo-Dyas, the rude one is called Yan Dooku," introduced the girl with the turquoise ponytail. "And I'm Jocasta Nu."

Before any of the boys could make a sound, she continued: "Is that a traditional Midrim sword? I didn't know swords were used here. What metal is it made of?"

"What?" Jaster blinked, caught off guard by the volley of energetic questions. "Uh, no… it's a beskad and it's made of beskar."

"Beskar?" the boy introduced as Sifo-Dyas now asked with interest. "Ohh, that super cool Mandalorian metal."

"How did you get your hands on a weapon like that?" the Dooku boy wanted to know with narrowed eyes.

"How do you think?" Jaster rolled his eyes. They were asking strange questions. "I am a Mando'ad." "Uhh… Mandalorian?" he added slowly. Stupid basic. Jaster still had trouble with some words.

Oh.

Mandalorian?!

Dooku exchanged an alarmed glance with Sy. "'Mandalorian'?!"

Like in "Mandalorians - the enemies of the Jedi Order"?

Jo didn't seem to share their concern. A sparkle appeared in her eyes, showing her two companions that she had caught fire for a topic. Oh oh!

" Mandalorian? How exciting. I thought all Mandos wore armor."

"But not from the beginning," protested Jaster - horrified by so much ignorance. That couldn't be allowed to stand! "You have to earn it bit by bit. Look, I've already got bracers and a back plate. And my beskad."

"Yours? It's much too big for you." Oh, did this Yan know his way around swords? As professionally confident as his words sounded, that seemed to be the case.

"Well," Jaster admitted. "It's not mine. My ba'buir lent it to me."

"Your … ba'buir?" Sifo-Dyas tried to repeat after him and tilted his head questioningly.

"Ba'buir means … mmh grandparents in Basic. He is my grandfather"

"And he just lets you go off on your own with that?" The tall boy seemed taken aback by this.

"Of course." What was the problem? On safe planets and as long as he was back at the ship at the agreed time, he was always allowed to do what he wanted. Apparently this was a foreign concept to his new acquaintances. Poor things. "Ba'buir has to work, after all. How else am I supposed to practise? Besides, ba'buir always says it's too dangerous to go out without a weapon."

Okay, that was pretty sensible of said grandpa. The youngsters nodded in understanding. Children were kidnapped and sold into slavery all the time. That's why they were also allowed to take their training swords with them on their excursion. These weren't as dangerous as real lightsabers, but at the highest level they could still inflict quite serious injuries.

"Hmm, can beskar really withstand a lightsaber?" Jocasta suddenly wanted to know.

"A Jetii kad'au?" Mereel looked at her questioningly, as if he couldn't imagine how she had come up with this idea. "Hmm, I don't know."

"Maybe it should be tested." Jocasta's scientific interest was obviously piqued.

Yan didn't even bother to shield his alarm in the Force. "Yo! I don't think it's such a good idea…"

"Testing?" Jaster interrupted him curiously. "How is that supposed to work?

"Well, with this." Jo nonchalantly pulled out her training sword.

Cursing, the other boy flinched and then stared at the three of them like a Tooka in a thunderstorm. "Jetiise!… ah Jedi…. You're Jetiise?"

"Well, not quite yet," Sifo-Dyas clarified sheepishly, deliberately ignoring the other boy's raised weapon. "Strictly speaking, we're initiates. At the moment, anyway. You can only call yourself a Jedi once you've become a Padawan, built a proper lightsaber and then passed your knight's trial."

"Ohh." From one moment to the next, Jaster seemed to have overcome his shock and he lowered his sword again. "There are different Kad'aue … ah lightsabers? And how do you become a Padawan? Can anyone become one or do you have to fulfill certain requirements? How old do you have to be to take your trial?"

"Did you have a good day, ner ad?" Athas Mereel added the last of the spices to the boiling stew. A balanced diet was important for children. He may not have been the best chef in the galaxy, but he insisted on serving his grandson fresh food as often as possible. Ration bars were for emergencies. "Did you experience anything exciting, meet other children?"

"Hmm," Jaster barely lifted his head from the datapad, whose contents he was studying intently. Good boy. So studious. "I met some nice kids. We exchanged our com numbers."

(Communicators that the little Jetiise were apparently not allowed to have. "Don't you dare call us, Mereel. Only write, understand? Otherwise we'll get into real trouble with the masters.")

"That's nice," Athas nodded happily. Sometimes he was worried: Jaster was a bright boy, clever and resourceful, but he had a hard time making lasting friends. They had moved so often in the last few years, and each time his boy was forced into a new routine. Jaster's initial enthusiasm for adventure and new places had waned considerably in recent times. The new contact could only do him good.

On the other side of the planet, Sy, Yan and Jocasta didn't get a chance to talk about their Mandalorian encounter. When they returned to their quarters far too late, sweaty, tired and with dirty clothes, a highly annoyed Master Sinube was already waiting for them.

(Before the next outing, Yan would remember to pack some ration bars. Being sent to bed without dinner after a two-hour meditation was not acceptable to him or his body).

#sifo dyas #yan dooku #jaster mereel #jocasta nu #bolis virus #headcanon #wip #my writing #⛏️⛏️⛏️

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hastalavistabyebye · 11 days ago

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For the WIP game, rather intrigued by "The Force has enough" if anyone else hasn't asked it already?

Nobody asked for it yet ! So here's for you <3

That's one is pure crack.

Basically it goes like this :

The Force was bored, annoyed and grumpy. The Force was, in fact, so bored, annoyed and grumpy that it decided to take matters into its own metaphysical hands.

It usually lets its children do whatever. But enough was enough, it wasn't going to stand by and look at two of its most favorites get butchered to extinctions levels of genocide. No, thank you. It was a powerful energy present in all things, living or not, material or not. It was time to act.

It created a Plan. With this six step Plan, everything will start back into proper order. Without wasting more time, it got to work.

I know I already talked about it some time before so I hope I haven't shared this bit before...

The first step is getting Obi Wan and Cody's heads out of their ass and finally stop turning around each other. Obi Wan's saber is very wisely used at this end. (Big bonk on his head)

After that, Cody had to resign himself that the times where he was the one finding this lightsaber were over. Now, it was the weapon finding him. Violently.

Then we have Dooku with an existential crisis. Which is a shame, he was starting is day so good....

He could feel the energy circulating in every thing, every life, in the soil under him, the pond at his side, the forest and air around him, the sky high above and partially hidden by the trees. He was one with the Force and the Force was one with him. But in an angry, hurt, sithly way.

There will have a Blyla passionate kiss, Ahsoka turned baby, Mace or Yoda (hadn't decided yet) getting a running commentary of yes/no by the Force (at least it's clearer than vibes) and Fox being appointed Bigger Person of the day.

And I really need to get back to write it because this is just so much fun for me xD when the urgent projects will be over...

#hi tumblr void #ask game #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #count dooku #sw #tcw

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adhd-coyote · 5 months ago

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I guess I might as well make an intro, huh? Heya, I’m Coyote or Codi, pronouns she/it, lovely to have you here <3

I’m a fanfic writer and sometimes even an artist! All of my works can be found on ao3 under adhd_coyote. It’s mostly Star Wars, as that hyperfixation started almost two years ago and has not let go since. But I’ve also got a few bnha fics and even a Teen Wolf oneshot, so there’s a bit of variety!

Please don’t hesitate to dm me, send asks, or tag me in wip/prompt challenges or anything else, even if we’ve never interacted before! I’m always eager to engage with my fellow fans! You can also find me on Discord as assigned_coyote (tho I don’t accept random friend requests, so dm me first please)!

I don’t accept any kind of hate or toxicity. My policy is ship and let ship; if you aren’t hurting anyone, then I don’t have a problem with you. If you don’t agree with this policy, the back button is very easy to use.

Happy to have you here, and hope you stay a while! <3

Links to tags+explanations under the cut!

Coyote’s OC Masterlist

my writing - What it says on the tin. Stuff I've written, either on my own or with the lovely @darknight-brightstar! my art - There isn't nearly as much of my art as there is my writing, but I still tag it! coyotes clone chaos - I've got a whoole bunch of clone trooper ocs and I love to talk about them! Anything related to them can be found with this tag! I also tag every post with the names of the characters mentioned, in case you'd like to look for a specific oc! (I also have a fic by the same name; a series of oneshots featuring my precious babies) 193rd battalion - My original Clone Wars battalion, featuring General Adai Na'kala, Commander Sil, and Captain Badger, along with a couple more ;3 coyotes yips and yaps - My non-fandom related rambles minifig adventures - The adventures of my Star Wars mini figures! Featuring Padawan Kenobi, Commander Cody, Berry the Storm Trooper, and @the-best-ie!

Fanfic Tags - All of my ongoing fics! don't give up on me - A fic series I'm writing with @darknight-brightstar! Featuring Cody/Obi-Wan/Fox, many clone trooper ocs, and so much hurt/comfort! Updates every Monday! this house don't feel like home - @darknight-brightstar and I's second fic! Featuring Cody/Fox, Ace!Obi/Ace!Rex, heavy Fox whump, and many many feels! You are going to hate Anakin in this one. Updates on Fridays! visions verse - My series Visions and Where They Lead! It's a series of oneshots and small fics following a young Obi-Wan who had a teensy mental breakdown on Galidraan, killed Dooku, and Fell. Featuring a slightly insane Obi-Wan, a very concerned Silas, and death! Updates are sporadic, I write when the muse strikes. cult of fox - @darknight-brightstar and I's third fic! It's a Cult of the Lamb crossover featuring fluffy crack, tookas, ancient deities, and lots of fun! Updates are irregular, as this is a side project, and no knowledge of Cult of the Lamb is needed to understand and enjoy!

I have other fics, but those don't have tags as they are either oneshots or completed. You can find 'em on my ao3!

#intro post #blog intro #fanfic author #star wars #ao3 author

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charmwasjess · 7 months ago

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6, 13 and 18 (Dooku) for the fandom ask, please :D

6) Show us a bit of a WIP!

:D You get the Sifo + Dooku + Time Travel Piece that I'm "definitely" "not" "writing." Some Asajj + 20 year old Dooku team-up nobody asked for. Especially not Asajj. -

Asajj studied him again, more appraisingly this time. He did look disconcertingly familiar.

Did Dooku have an heir that she’d never heard about? She’d clocked the boy as younger, what with all his naivete and whining, but now that she really looked at him… Nineteen? Maybe twenty years old? The age lined up disconcertingly well with Dooku’s first days as Count. A hereditary title, after all, passed from father to son. The idea of Dooku reproducing was nauseating, of course, though it was at least a little funny to imagine the former Jedi’s face upon being informed that House Serenno required his “gift” to ensure the bloodline’s survival.

But no. Why would House Serenno surrender an heir to the Jedi? She didn’t need to see the long braid to recognize that this was clearly one of their Padawan Learners; he reeked of a sheltered Temple upbringing. She could practically smell the refectory milk on his breath.

“Why do you want to be the one to kill Count Dooku so badly, anyway?” she asked, instead.

“He killed my best friend!” His voice broke on the word best, but his fury streaked, vibrant as a comet in the Force.

Asajj almost choked on her laugh. It was so melodramatic. Cliche. Like a line from an overwrought holonovel, spinning out in predictable plot hooks before her eyes. This Jedi child was pathetic. She ought to get them into space and send him to look for Dooku out the airlock. It seemed like it would save her and the Jedi both a lot of trouble.

She thought of her sisters.

Vengeance. Thick and sweet and tangy, like spoiled cream clinging to her tongue. It belonged to her, but no less to the others whose lives Dooku had crushed out for no better reason than because he could. She was here to glut on the Count’s blood. Who was she to deny this hungry child his own right to the feast? Dooku made a big corpse. There was plenty for all.

“Do you know how to sit down and shut up?” Asajj turned briskly to the ship controls. They had already wasted too much time.

“Yes.” A lie. She could tell that without even looking at him.

“Yes, what?” She prompted, glancing back. Maybe she just wanted to hear him try to call her “my lady” in that ridiculous, overformal Coruscanti accent of his.

He swallowed audibly, clearly uncertain. He glanced again at the twin lightsabers at her waist and seemed to decide. “Yes, Master.”

Asajj couldn't help the small, startled laugh that broke from her chest. That hadn’t been what she was expecting. No one had ever called her that. She felt surprised at the strength of her own reaction. Perhaps this would actually be amusing. At least, for a little while.

“What is your name?”

“My name?”

Asajj rolled her eyes. “You have a name? Or should I just refer to you as ‘idiot’?”

She watched his hesitation, saw those big, guileless brown eyes drift and refocus. Black fucking stars, he lied artlessly, like a child.

“Sifo-Dyas. My name is Sifo-Dyas.”

13)What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day?

I know I went backwards here writing the most unknown/unpopular character in the series with Sifo-Dyas to the most popular, but I'd really like to spend a little bit more time with Obi-Wan. He's got a large role in the next chapter of Twelves Months to Murder Count Dooku and I'm really excited. I really like the character. Kenobi changed something for me about him.

18) Type [charater]'s name and tell us what the autocomplete suggests as the next word

Lolol. "Dooku FOUGHT." "Dooku only" and "Dooku Nu" were other suggestions. Yeah, that really says it all. No notes, google.

#such a fun ask thank you so much Ant!!!#don't worry too much about Sifo-Dyas in the WIP he's just off playing with his clones #and Dooku fought Dooku only and Dooku Nu are my three main ways to write Dooku after all #answered asks #time travel au #why is that a tag I have now someone stop me

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papsiguesss · 26 days ago

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Ummmmm first Dooku/Tarkin fanfic draft I guess???

So I've been having very normal thoughts about these two and while I hope to write a multichapter for them in the future, for now I've written down one scene during their early days that I wanted to share here.

Word count: 4443 words

Content warnings: depiction of a panic attack, torture

(Mind you: this is the first time I've written either of these characters, I'm sorry if this seems out of character I'm just trying my best. Also this is very much against canon and I have no fucking idea how the SW universe works apart from these two. This is just me having dumb fun with a crackship that I've gotten way too fond of lmfao)

Context: during the clone wars, Tarkin was incarcerated and tortured for information at a prison called the Citadel, in the story I have for them in my head Dooku (who is on the opposing faction to Tarkin's) has heard news of that his old acquaintance is being tortured and for a reason he cannot quite put down yet, he feels the need to get him out of there. This scene takes place after Dooku has gotten Tarkin out of the Citadel, but on their escape they are being fired at by a shooting squad.

***

He thought that he had found shelter from all the blasters firing at them, but his hairs stood on end all of a sudden as a ray of pure energy shot just past his ear. Had he stood just a little to the left, he would have been shot in the head. Dooku’s eyes widened in a panic. “Stand back, captain!”, he yelled, pushing Tarkin inside of their ship in order to bring him to safety. The younger man scowled. He did not need some Separatist to protect him… what was this man thinking? He was fully capable of protecting himself-

That was what he thought at least, until he saw the count turn around, raise his arm up at the man who had fired at Tarkin and release crackling bolts of lightning from his fingertips, the electricity shooting towards his target and quickly frying the man in a few seconds.

Everything seemed to freeze around Tarkin as he saw it.

…It was his first time being exposed to electricity like that again after the Citadel.

Time slowed down around him as he fell onto his knees, his eyes widened in terror and his chest heaving down more and more quickly up until the point where he was straight up hyperventilating. Everything around him went blurry. He was aware of the blasters shooting around him, but their firing sounded like nothing more than far away, muffled noises. It was as if he suddenly found himself submerged in water.

…That was an apt metaphor, he supposed, because he felt like he was beginning to drown, as well.

It all suddenly flashed back to him. His dark, crammed cell, making him feel claustrophobic. The constant screaming of his fellow captives being subjected to the most horrific forms of torture. But most of all… the pain. The everlasting pain that he still felt after they had run bolt after bolt of electricity through his body, hoping to get information. Information that he would never give them. And with that, torture that would never stop.

Wrapping his arms around his torso, he slumped down to the ground, trembling as he could still feel the scars that he had received while being incarcerated scorch his skin, almost as if he had just been released from the torture chamber. The… the pain… he felt as if he was experiencing it all over again.

Barely feeling in control of his own body, he covered his face with his hands, letting out an agonising, bloodcurdling scream. He rolled himself up in a ball, his eyes widened in shock as he heard his own voice. Why…? Why was he allowing himself to be this distraught by seeing a simple jolt of electricity…? He was aware of the existence of Force Lightning. It was not strange to imagine that Count Dooku would be proficient with using it, he supposed. He should have expected it. Hell, it had been his subordinates that had carried out his torture! So why did this all upset him so much…?

He had to stop himself from pondering this all over though, as he came to a rather… alarming realisation. He… he was doing something that he had not done for… decennia, at this point.

…He was crying.

Tarkin froze in place, immediately falling silent as soon as he noticed his disgusting showing of weakness. How… how was he allowing himself to sink to these levels of patheticness? Had his test at the Carrion Plateau all been for nothing? All his military training… his entire upbringing… Had he learned nothing? How could he possibly think these levels of incompetence were… acceptable…? How was he still supposed to call himself a proud member of the Tarkin family after all this?

What was wrong with him?!

***

Dooku turned around again, closing their shuttle’s entrance so that they would be shielded from the artillery. He let out a sigh of relief. That had been a close one, but nothing a bolt of lightning couldn’t clear. The thought of Tarkin being shot while he was under his care, it… it was just too horrible to think about. Not now that he was finally warming up to him a bit. Not now that he had the slightest chance of being on friendly terms with his old acquaintance again.

No… he would see to it that he was safe. Hostages were to be treated with care, right? He could simply play it off as that, he supposed… but he knew that it was not like that. He still didn’t know why he had been so furious when he had been notified of what his staff at the Citadel had done with the governor as soon as they had gotten their hands on him, but as soon as he had heard it, a raging fire seemed to have ignited within him that would not cease until the captain was out of that prison. He could get his information about the Nexus Route through friendlier ways, he thought to himself. Besides, he knew that Tarkin would not give up any information under the threat of torture. He was far too stubborn for that.

…What his plan would be now that his allies were aware of the fact that he had taken a Republican soldier out of prison for no apparent reason, he did not know though. But he supposed that their first challenge would be to get out of here alive. But his companion could help him with that, he thought.

“Well, governor… I must admit that that was rather too close for my liking”, he sighed, turning around to face Tarkin. “But we are out of danger for n-”

He was cut off though, as he heard the younger man scream his lungs out. The governor was trembling on the floor, lying in foetal position as he slowly began to sob. The count was… puzzled, to say the least. “…Governor?”, he asked, taking a few steps towards Tarkin as he gave no response whatsoever. Dooku doubted whether he even heard him or not. “…Can you hear me…?”

The younger man squeezed his eyes shut, breathing heavily. “…N-no…”, he gasped. “No… I won’t… I never will...” The count frowned. He… clearly wasn’t talking to him. Was this Wilhuff Tarkin? The man who had been Eriadu’s governor? He seemed more like a scared child than anything, in all honesty…

“…Captain, the fire has ceased”, he said rather brusquely. “…You’d think you would not be so distraught by blasters firing after the battles you have found yourself in…” Again, no response. The man just kept on whimpering. After observing the scene in silence for a while, some semblance of concern spread across Dooku’s face. This… did not just seem like theatrics to him. He was well aware of Tarkin having a taste for the dramatic every now and then, but… this seemed serious.

Why was he so panicked, though…? It could not have been the blasters… he must have been in countless fights with them by now… not to mention the fact that the count had seen him use one without issue… so it had to be something else. But what?

Dooku crouched down, a frown on his face as he hesitated on his course of action. He could ask Tarkin what was going on, but… he seemed unable to hear him… so what now? Eventually, he decided. If the governor was not going to tell him… then he was going to have to see for himself. He knew that it was risky… but he had to know. He reached out with his hand, letting it hover a few inches away from the younger man’s forehead as he closed his eyes and focused intently.

…If words would not do the trick, then he would have to reach out with his mind.

***

“N… no…”

Tarkin was strapped down to a table, breathing heavily as his eyes lost focus. His body was covered in burns, and he feebly struggled against his restraints, before screaming loudly as they ran electricity through him yet again. He clenched his jaw, not letting out a single other noise as he seemed to be going absolutely mad from the pain. There was not a single tear to be seen, though. Nor did he let out any sob. He could not afford to show weakness. Not even now.

His torturers were blurry, not even coming into focus. “Tell us about the Nexus route”, one of them barked at the governor, before electrocuting him again. “You know that you are only prolonging your suffering, governor. This is your own doing. We would have been done with you much sooner, had you just given us the information we want…”

Tarkin spat in their face. “I’d rather die than betray the Republic!”, he snarled, gasping loudly as he was subjected to yet another round of electricity. “You’re… you’re wasting your time…”

His interrogator was about to pull the switch again, but they were tapped on the shoulder by another one of the blurry figures. “…You’ll kill him if you subject him to more”, they hissed. “He’s of no use to us when he’s been fried to a crisp. Leave it for now… Return tomorrow.” The other figure seemed reluctant at first, but they eventually acquiesced. “…You are in luck, governor”, they sneered, as they stepped away. “…Enjoy your few hours of peace.” And with those words, the group of blurry figures stepped away into the darkness.

As Tarkin was left alone in his cell, still strapped down, he shivered, his entire body trembling as his eyes rolled back into his skull. He… he did not know how much longer he could take this all. He would never even think of confessing the coordinates of the Nexus route… but he feared that his body would give up on him any day now. He… he would not be surprised if he’d never make it out of this place alive. This… this prison was to be his place of demise… He would waste away here, in pain… Strapped of all of his dignity…

…But that would still be better than betraying what he stood for…

***

Dooku pulled his hand away, his arm trembling as his eyes widened in terror. He… he knew that Tarkin had been tortured under his command… but to experience it firsthand like that… It was nothing short of horrible. Of course. He had been so foolish…

Force Lightning.

Torture by electrocution.

…Tarkin was having a panic attack… one that he had caused.

***

“…Governor?” Some distant voice seemed to be calling out to Tarkin as he slowly opened his eyes again, staring at the ground with a distraught look on his face as he wrapped around his body.

“…Governor Tarkin?”

The captain’s head jolted upwards as he heard his own name, his panicked eyes being met by calm, deeply brown ones.

…Out of all people, why did the count have to be the one to see him like this?!

He and Dooku stared at each other in silence for a while, Tarkin glaring intensely. “…Are you quite all right, governor?”, the count asked. The captain could not believe what he was hearing. What was Dooku getting at? Why was he being this friendly with him all of a sudden? How could he be certain that he did not have any nefarious plans with him, seeing that he was a soldier on the enemy’s side? Just… none of it felt right.

His entire body tensed up as he saw the count reaching out to him with his hand. Was… was he intending to use his Force Lightning on him too now? He quickly crawled backwards, gritting his teeth as he scowled at the man. “Do not touch me”, he snarled, his limbs trembling. “What… what do you really want from me? D… do you want to get me at my weakest, so I’ll give you the information you so desperately want? Is that it?!”

Dooku lowered his arm, frowning. “…Governor, I only want to help you.” Tarkin scoffed. “…Help me? I don’t need help… and especially not from you”, he sneered. “What, did you think that you were helping me when you gave the order to torture me? Was I being helped when they continually ran electricity through my body while locking me up in a tiny cell? Was I being helped when I was on the verge of death, Count? WAS I?!”

He paused, looking away.

…Why was he showing his true feelings to this man so much…?

“…You are the enemy”, he eventually continued, narrowing his eyes. “…Under no circumstances should you ever want to ‘help’ me. Why don’t you just… get it over with already and have your way with me? It would spare us both a lot of time. If your wish is to kill me, then do it. I am not afraid to die for the Republic.”

The count let out a sigh, melancholically staring down as he saw just how distrustful Tarkin was of him. The worst thing was… he could not even blame him for it. He realised now that after all the things that had been done to him while at the Citadel, it was not going to be easy to convince the governor that he had no ill intentions. He was not even actively tapping into the man’s thoughts and he could already sense the sheer anguish coming from him.

…The worst part about this all was that had he paid more attention, he could have prevented all of this.

“…Do you still remember the times before the war, Tarkin?”, he eventually asked. The captain looked up at him. He… was only using his name now, instead of putting one of his titles before it. It stuck out to him. He narrowed his eyes, but kept looking at Dooku, willing to hear him out at least.

“…Do you remember when we could talk to each other as equals, instead of enemies? When we were not divided by this constant fighting of alliances yet?”, the count continued. Tarkin scowled, rolling his eyes. “Remind me again, who is it that stands at the head of one of these alliances?”, he replied. “Oh, that’s right… you are. Bit too late to start regretting a war that was started partially thanks to you, now is it?”

Dooku looked down at the ground, his shoulders slumping down. “…You are right”, he eventually admitted, sighing. “…I am in a hell of my own making. This war… it tires me… And yet, I know that it is too late for me to turn back.”

He paused, looking back up at the governor. “…No matter who will win in the end, I fear that none of this is going to end well for me. I am too far gone, Tarkin. And I am at peace with that. But… that doesn’t mean that I will let people that I respect get subjected to unnecessary cruelty under my watch. Which… which is why I decided to get you out… despite what the other Separatists may think.”

The governor stayed silent for a while, narrowing his eyes. The fact that the count only cared about him being subjected to torture, while not batting an eye at all the other hundreds of prisoners that were being kept there, was… concerning, to say the least… But at the same time, Tarkin noticed that it did not bother him. If this meant that he would be out of harm’s way, then he was not going to complain.

Besides… the weak did not warrant any mercy. It was one of the biggest lessons that had been drilled into his head ever since he was a child. If the others were not worthy of being saved… then they must deserve what they got. Though… in all honesty, the governor was starting to see himself as one of the weak ones more and more. He was only lucky to receive this amount of leniency.

…But that was exactly why he did not trust any of this. He was not deserving of this kindness. He had never received kindness without anything in return. So why should this be any different? It… it was just too suspicious. And he liked none of it.

He looked down again. He was still hyperventilating. His entire body was trembling. Why couldn’t he just… pull himself together already? Why was he showing Dooku all this weakness all of a sudden? He… he was not like this usually… Normally, he could just stay calm and collected… He had stayed calm after the torture up until now… so why was he freaking out about it now all of a sudden?

“…I mean you no harm, governor.” His head shot up apprehensively as he heard the count’s voice again. “…I swear. Helping you calm down is the least I can do, after failing to stop your torture from being carried out… So please, let me.”

Tarkin tensed up, scowling in offence at Dooku’s statement. “I- I don’t need help calming down-”, he huffed, but he fell silent as soon as he felt the count’s hand gently resting on his shoulder. “…Yes, you do”, Dooku corrected him. “It’s only natural, really, after what happened… I’m sorry that I did not take into account that seeing Force Lightning could potentially be traumatic to you, considering… well, the nature of torture they use at the Citadel… I do apologise for bringing those memories back up. I was only trying to get us out of harm’s way.”

The governor narrowed his eyes. “…How did you know that I-”, he stammered, eyeing the count’s hand with suspicion, but not moving away. “…You forget that I am force sensitive”, Dooku interrupted, explaining this all as if it was the simplest matter in the world. “Even now, it is not difficult for me to sense your panic.”

Tarkin scowled. “Oh yes, your order is all very in tune with emotions and that kind of nonsense, isn’t it?”, he taunted. The count fell silent. The governor still associating him with the Jedi hurt him. But he guessed that with Tarkin’s snarkiness, it was to be expected. At least they could both agree on their mutual dislike for the order, he supposed. “…And you are so completely disconnected from them that you cannot even understand yourself anymore”, he snapped back. “Now, will you let me help you or not?”

The governor stayed silent for a while as he heard that. “You cannot even understand yourself anymore…” He did not want to think too deeply about that statement. What could some Separatist know about him, anyway? He was just trying to get under his skin… Not that he needed any more agitation, with this panic attack of his still not subsiding. His trembling would not stop. If anything, it was getting worse. Dooku’s last sentence… was not really helping. “…Fine”, he eventually scowled. “But only because it’ll make you shut up about this all, you got it?”

The count smiled slightly, rolling his eyes. “Of course, governor. Well… why don’t you start by trying to focus on your breathing? Just breathe in… and out… calmly. It helps a lot.”

Tarkin narrowed his eyes, trying to do what was asked of him, if only to get this all over with. A chill ran down his spine though, as he realised that he found himself completely unable to calm his breathing down. He let his hand rest on his chest, his eyes nervously darting from place to place as he could not get himself under control. What… what was happening to him? Why couldn’t he just… relax? None of this was making it any better. He… he simply couldn’t slow down his breathing. “I… can’t…”, he stammered, a puzzled tone coming from his voice. “…I- I don’t know what I’m doing wrong…”

Panic took him, his eyes widening in fear as he looked up at the Count. “W-why is nothing helping?”, he gasped, feeling his chest heaving up and down more and more quickly. He looked down in terror, his heart beating more and more heavily with every passing second. He just completely froze up. He wanted to stand up, to run away, to fight off whatever was causing his fear, but… he was nailed to the ground.

…He had not felt like this for ages.

“…What’s happening…?”, he whimpered softly.

Dooku reached out to him. “This is not helping…”, he said, inching closer to the governor. “Here, why don’t you sit down comfortably for a moment-”

Instead, Tarkin tensed up even more as he saw the count approaching. “G-get away from me…”, he hissed. “I… I don’t need you fussing over me too… Can’t you see that I’m dealing with enough already…?” The count stopped immediately. “…I’m sorry, governor”, he said. “I only want to help.” The captain scowled. “Well, you’re doing the exact opposite”, he snarled. “I… I don’t need a…”

He fell silent.

“a…”

Everything around him was starting to go blurry as he felt his own heartbeat thrumming in his ears like thunder.

“Governor?”, he heard Dooku ask from far away, his eyes faintly managing to focus on him. All of the colour on Tarkin’s face drained away from him.

“…I feel… odd…”, he stammered feebly, losing focus on where the count was.

Then he fell to the ground, and everything went black.

***

The first thing Tarkin noticed again after regaining consciousness was the soft humming of their spaceship’s motor. From what he could tell, they seemed to be landing. Had they made it out safely, then?

He quickly stopped pondering over that question though, as he noticed another thing.

And that was the fact that he had been wrapped up in a piece of fabric. His eyes widened in surprise as he opened them and saw what had been tucked all around him.

…Dooku’s cloak.

The governor’s first urge was to struggle out of it, but then he realised that his entire body was still shivering and the cloak’s warmth actually felt… rather nice. It was heavier than he had expected it to be, so it applied some gentle pressure too, which was strangely comfortable. Tarkin could not remember feeling so comfortable in the last few months. He just laid there on the floor with a bit of a confused expression on his face, wondering how he could have ever ended up in this situation.

His head shot up though, as he heard the sound of approaching footsteps.

“Ah, you’ve woken up again, I see”, Dooku remarked as he walked into the room after quickly glancing around the corner in order to see whether Tarkin was still out cold. “How are you feeling?” The governor looked away, his cheeks becoming red with embarrassment as he was ashamed to let the count see him all vulnerable like this. “…Better”, he mumbled reluctantly, hesitating as to whether he should say the thing he wanted to say or not before adding: “…The cloak feels nice.”

Dooku chuckled. “I thought it would”, he said. “I would have grabbed a blanket, but well… we don’t really have those on here, so my cloak would have to do. Are you all right to stand up and walk?”

Tarkin stared at him with a confused look on his face. What kind of question was that? “Why wouldn’t I be?”, he huffed, offended. The count looked at him with a deadpan look on his face. “Considering the fact that you laid passed out on the floor a mere ten minutes ago, I wouldn’t say the question’s an odd one”, he said. The governor glowered at him. “Yes, I am”, he eventually said, rolling his eyes. “Why do you ask?”

Dooku reached out with his hand to help Tarkin stand up. “You’ve probably noticed that we’ve just landed”, he said while the governor eyed his hand with suspicion for a moment, before taking it and getting up from the floor. “I want to show you our destination. A place where you’ll be safe from any prying Separatist eyes. They… were not happy with my decision to take you out of the Citadel, after all, so… best to be sure. Not to mention that you are going to need ample time to recover after the things they’ve put you through, so… I thought I’d show you. Will you come with me?”

Tarkin still glared at Dooku with suspicion. He had no idea what the count’s plan was with him, but he supposed that he could not stay in this spaceship either. He eventually acquiesced. “…I suppose I have no other choice”, he sighed, walking out of the room with Dooku. “…Though I still do not get why you are being this friendly with a captive.”

The count looked at him with a surprised look on his face. “…Tarkin, you are not my captive”, he said. “…That’s the whole thing. I took you out of the Citadel. Did… did you think that I was treating you like a hostage all this time…?” The governor shrugged. “Evidently so”, he simply said, before looking away and frowning. He… was not a captive. Or was Dooku only trying to make him think that, only to stab him in the back later? It was all still… very unclear to him.

There was one thing though… he had been out cold for a significant amount of time. And during all that time, the count had not harmed him at all. Instead, he… he had helped him, for some unfathomable reason. That was… one thing to be grateful about, he supposed?

He stayed silent for a while, before reluctantly glowering as a blush spread across his cheeks. “…Thank you”, he softly murmured with hesitation.

Dooku looked at him with a surprised look on his face. “…What?”, he asked. The governor went even redder in the face. “…I said thank you”, he muttered, fiddling with his sleeve. “…For… you know… the cloak and all… instead of killing me.”

The count chuckled softly, looking away as he rolled his eyes. It was going to take time and patience to learn this man that he had no nefarious goal with him… but if that was going to be necessary to repay him for indirectly causing him so much suffering at the Citadel… then so be it.

“I have no intention of harming you, governor”, he replied. “But it seems like since my previous dozen attempts of trying to tell you that have not been successful, this one won’t be, either. That’s all right… What’s most important is that you are all right, after all. Now… let’s go and see where you’ll be staying, shall we…?”

#fanfic draft #tarkin/dooku #grand moff tarkin #count dooku #crackship #hammer husbands #christopher lee #peter cushing #fanfic #my writing

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