#dont think too much abt who's doing this bc i dunno
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fycoren · 10 months ago
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wuh oh-
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months ago
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...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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chenyuvale · 3 months ago
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maybe some 10hour minecraft solo would fix me
#i dunno#im not sure why ive been all Eughh abt the server bf likes#part of it might be the New aspect of it and another part might be just how active it is and how many ppl are there#even tho im not like. ever direct or one on one with them its like#im at a party sort of#the chat is active too much and That. drains me a lot faster than i realize#so either a smaller server a Much smaller server or a solo world for a minute#would fix me#because i do want to minecraft#i miss it its good its nice it gives me something to do that i likely wouldn't ever get shamed for#(in this day and age... back in my day id get bullied in school about it)#(not usually by students but some did Judge me Heavily but mostly it was teachers who were like. 'video games are violenntt!!') but anyways#i wanna like the server bf likes so badly#but every single time i log on im like i cant find a good spot ever theres too many people and hhhh#so i log off of it pretty quickly even tho i Want. to like it#i jus dont think i caaann#and hi leo if ur reading this which i Hope you are <3#i would've told you this earlier. If i found out and unpacked this earlier but I'm only unpacking it now and at the time of#typing this i am so so so so SO sleepy and you are possibly just waking up or about to in an hour or so#so mwah mwah ily and such and gmmm#and im sorry if the short minecraft sessions felt Bad but it 10000% wasnt you#the uniqueness of that server js fun dont get me wrong but i dont think it can be like an All Time server for me#so make your own lil space there and ill pop in from time to time#if u want to at least#nya.txt#ow why cramps..#im nit bleeding or anything jus empty cramps bc i missed some shots oops#but its tolerable i just wnana sleeeeeepp
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carp-esh-ove-lem · 28 days ago
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gnashing my teeth bc i ran out of tags just now
me when the yearning is getting bad
#also like. the reason ive even been ranting irl stuff on here is bc idk to even talk to abt this#bc irl talk on tumblr isnt rlly my m.o. tbh#p much none of my friends here understand the ways in which i am aro#i have one bestie who kinda gets it but also. all my friends are too close to the situation regardless#i have hs friends but frankly we havent talked in a while and thats my fault#not 2 be dramatic but like ???? dont know that ive ever felt like this before???#or certainly not this strongly#maybe idk im thinking but no one else is coming to mind?#'dont leave me'#like i feel that way abt a lot of ppl i care about#i hope i know you for a long long time#but this intensely? mannn#it's probably the roommates of it all#which im not used to#but still. god#im like. ugh#it's lame and dumb and gross#i'm just like. and this is also a separate me issue#but sometimes we're just vibing and i just think 'im going to miss you when youre gone'#bc this mfer's going to leave me!!! gonna graduate#(and cross the country apparently??? which isnt a secret but i just ueard abt it recently)#(which. i never asked but thats bc i am perpetually afraid of asking and being too much)#(always curious but never asking. thats another separate me problem thank u parentals)#but theyre gonna leave and i'm gonna miss i'm gonna miss#i dunno. maybe im just gonna miss This. living together. maybe thats all that this is#maybe thats all ive latched onto#but also maybe i'll miss that shithead. idk#it's weird. im being weird about it.#but how do you like. undo that#the tangle of routine and domesticity and coming home to someone or with someone
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conceptofjoy · 6 months ago
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how do u imagine the Dynamic between dave and davepeta postgame. ik ur more of a dsprite fan than dp but i think it could/would be Very fascinating. plays a role in cracking daves eggy loking thign
i love both very dearly :) i draw dsprite a lot more partly bc of the self imposed sprite rules i made for my pc au. seb’s an exception, lets just say some kind of splinter bullshit happened lol.
pre retcon dave had that convo w jade abt ds. the way he talked abt him’s can be easily summarized by saing “hes me when it’s beneficial and not me when it makes me uncomfortable/ makes me need to confront some things.”
he’d totally just compartmentalize any interactions in that way lmfao. oh so youre a catbird sprite thing? alright im an ally do your thing bro i mean they. nepeta’s side of things wants to just PRY him open and the dave side’s like this is going to be so much fun. dps wants to fuck with him SOOO badly but also doesnt want him to run away from the egg crackification process. dave keeps avoiding dps not so casually but jade keeps looking at him disappointedly so they have to hang out. jade knows that theyre pulling something’s so tells dps to ease up on dave but thats literally an impossible ask.
dps explains some stuff about the gender thing bc dave is only casually interested. totally.
DAVE: so like a boy and a girl came together to make a nonbinary person?
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B//< ummm
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< something like that!
DAVE: i dunno it seems pretty clear cut
DAVE: oh shit unless the bird also had some kinda bird gender and shook things up
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: >B33< yeah i had to do all kinds of gender maths as soon as i came into existence
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< did you know bird gender and cat gender cancel each other out?
DAVE: no shit?
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< no that was a joke dump ass!
DAVE: i knew that
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< sure
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< well i dont think the bird had anything to do with the gender maths. or the sword
DAVE: sword gender…
DAVE: wait wasnt the bird a mama bird?
DAVE: seemed pretty intent on keeping our game egg to herself remember?
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B00< ohhh yeah
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< my bad
DAVE: you remember being a bird???
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< no comment
DAVE: oh shit thats not very dave of you
DAVE: any dave i know would jump right into a whole spiel about how tough life is as a single bird mom
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: >B33< well dave thats because… im not you!
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< we went over this before! lets go back to the gender thing
DAVE: yeah yeah
DAVE: ok gender
DAVE: so a human boy a troll girl a bird mom and a sword walk into two kernel sprites
DAVE: wait shit do the kernel sprite have genders too?
DAVE: kernel gend-
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: XOO< holy shit i think i get what equius went through
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< do you see what youre doing to me dave? youre making me sympathize with a sweaty and incredibly silly 13 year old troll boy
DAVE: haha youre funny as shit
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< thank you
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< yeah while the other components probably added some other gender stuff
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< it was mostly dave and nepeta’s gender that influenced mine
DAVE: yeah alright
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< like nepeta for example
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< grew up away from society and barely had to deal with the caste system
DAVE: sure
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< theres specifc roles assigned to each gender and caste but nepeta just didnt get the memo
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< despite the friend group being a pretty non hemoist
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B??< hemoist?
DAVE: sure hemoist
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< well despite the group being all “who gives a crap about your blood color and gender”
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< nepeta still felt like there was just something no one decided to tell him that dictated every interaction he had with everyone else
DAVE: yeah i totally get tha-
DAVE: wait “him”?
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< …
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: ‘833< what?
DAVE: wait was nepeta a boy???
DAVE: oh shit how did no one ever correct me this whole time-
DAVE: no wait pause
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: ‘B33< paws
DAVE: paws
DAVE: no stop that
DAVE: if nepeta’s a boy and im a boy…
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: ‘B33< …
DAVE: were you lying about the bird gender thing or???
DAVEPETASPRITE^2:
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< yes dave. i really am part boy gender and part bird mom gender
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33< *SIGH* i think thats enough for today. i tried my best
DAVE: huh?
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thatdeadaquarius · 2 years ago
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hi! quick tip: if you’re on mobile type ‘:readmore:’ then hit enter! i dunno if you’ve been told but. yeah :)
also, your recent piece on apd was incredible!! very nice to see representation!! keep up the excellent work <3 it did get me thinking though: reader with vocal stims, cementing it in the acolytes’ minds that you don’t speak the language of teyvat, and then you’re all just stuck in this loop of “oh man they don’t speak the same language of me” but they DO
if asks are closed or this is outside of your comfort zone then feel free to delete! have a lovely day <3
AHFJLAKLOSUDBABWB U FELT REPRESENTED YAY!!
A cookie for thee, and also extra for telling me how to do Expand thingy on mobile ilysm 🤲🍩🍪✨️ (pspspsps all askers,, u get cookies,,cometothedarksidepspspspspsss)
I was so worried bc it wasnt like super all the aspects of Apd issues, and it was very based on my personal experience w/ similar symptoms + other bits of ppl's experience so i was hoping it still felt somewhat recognizable for ppl w/APD!! Tysm for the feedback :D
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NOTE ABOUT VOCAL STIM DEPICTED:
So i think ive experienced verbal stims, so this is a combination of others shared experiences + personal experience, and while everybody experiences things individually/their own way, please let me know if there is something obviously inaccurate/maybe even offensive.
You will definitely not make me mad or otherwise offended, I really want to hear that kind of feedback from others who vocal stim!
Thank you so much for reading! :)
___________________♡_____________________
So lets just say that ur vocal stims r pretty non-verbal or non-sensical ("her sister was a WITCH BRO-" like memes that dont make sense to them)
Or like, u have verbal stims that r actual language but they dont hang around long enough to hear it maybe ??
So like, this ends up happening
Chongyun was exploring near Qingce village for supernatural stuff as usual
And U were just vibin, chillin near Qingce village livin ur best Creator god cottagecore life
And ur like planting a new seedbed, Jueyun Chilis :) (bc jfc however bad it was to collect them in game, its 10x worse in person, ur tired of running around town getting chilis, Qingce isnt exactly flat 💀)
And every seed u put in the dirt ur like "boop!"
And Chongyun comes by, bc u at edge of town, and the villagers mentioned a strange new traveler settling here
He immediately feels a wave of that same feeling he used to feel when the Creator god had their eyes on him, or would assist him in battles
So poor boy almost overheats trying to climb up the hill to ur house
And is like "??...Creator??"
Then kinda stops bc ur just like-
"Boop!" "Boop!" "Boop!" ☺️ LMAO
And then u finish planting seeds, get the watering can,,
And everytime u pour it just-
... "EJACK! Come, water!"
(Ur saying it so fast too, and he's still somewhat farther away, so he cant rlly hear that well too)
...
..
And its just so incomprehensible to Chongyun he's deadass like "A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE??!"
So of course,
He waves, 👋
And ur like omg icy boy!! :D 🧊💙
But u dont say anything yet, and then he starts,, miming?? He points at u? Then like?? Points up? The sky?? Then like, mimes swinging his claymore???
(ARE U THE CREATOR??!!)
U look up, very confused 🧐
He seemes frustrated.
Then he just kinda, bows and leaves?
...
...oh no.
Do Teyvat people speak that crazy language that u saw in game?
Instead of English??
Well.
Shit.
...
.... U havent rlly talked to anyone in Qingce yet since u just got here in Teyvat like a week ago
And found this abandoned house
It just gets worse 😭
Bc slowly, one by one,
Each playable character in Liyue comes to attempt to talk to you
(And since u have a farm, and they keep giving u food/goods? For some reason?? U still dont need to go into town)
At one point, even Zhongli shows up
And thru complex miming and hand motions u think he means dont worry abt him? Like just go back to what u were doing?? Okay??
U guess he's just gonna chill here for now?
...
...Zhongli just kinda,, squints, and puts his hand on his chin in his classic "thinking very hard" face
So ur tending to the garden saying,
" FREDDY! You're supposed to be on lockdown!Vanessa...I'm... a Material Gworl✨️"💀
...Just, on an endless loop LMAO-
...
(Hes trying to see if he recognizes any part of ur language, poor old man 🤔🤔😭)
And it just snowballs even more, and now,
None of you have even tried to say a word to each other. 🤡
(Other than ur vocal stims)
...
Keqing: "Perhaps, it's similar to Fontaine's native language?"
You, in the background: "🎵 dUdE,,, sHe'S jUsT nOt InTo YoU 🎵" (mimicking the autotune and everything)
Ganyu & Keqing: "..."
You: " 🎵 gOtTa MoVe On, mOvE oN-🎵 Hurricane Katrina?? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"
Ganyu & Keqing: "...Can't be,"
"what else do we got? Should we call Yunjin to better mime for us??"
Xiao's the first one to even get close to knowing u can actually talk to each other, bc he's always checking in on u most often <3
And he only heard u bc u swore u heard a monster outside ur house one night and came out ur house with a pitchfork, very nervous,
"...Hey there demons.. it's me.. ya boy."
(And u just keep stimming that out of nervousness to make urself feel better as u check around ur house lol)
Xiao: "??? Demons???!! WAIT-"
By then, it literally took like 6 months for yall to finally have a real conversation 💀💀
...
(Chongyun got so embarassed bc he was one of the first few to misunderstand he overheated rip🙏)
Im. So. Sorry. This. Is. ✨️Ass✨️
Twas the best scenario i could come up with, im telling yall, im not as funny as the ppl who send in these asks 😔
Keep in mind, I never claimed i was funny or a good writer, u cant hold it against me lol /lh
Lower ur expectations LMAO
Well i hope u got sm enjoyment outta this anon, sorry abt the quality!! :)
Cheers,
🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
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saiintvalentiine · 3 months ago
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hey. hey saiint. do you remember your post abt watchers from like, a day ago. how they could take an 'empty' clone and use it as a vessel or whatever. so. two things abt that.
a) the idea of watchers in kww collab Fascinates me deeply and now theres an au in the back of my head where wato becomes a watcher. its fascinating. dont mind me i think about watchers too much okay
b) do you. have you considered voidfies.
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this ominous fucker that wato got the mask from. completely void, has the texturing of wifies skin and the omz mask, shows up in a couple of the kww collab videos? have you thought abt them? bcs. idk i think this could be relevant to the idea of watchers or well distant gods or whatever. bcs look !! empty ominous weird guy who is prolly A Wifies is right here !!!!!
JUST THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE A FUN IDEA !!! idk pls ignore this if i said anth wrong lmao
welcome welcome lime !!! all kinds of fun ideas r always welcome in my inbox never worry !!! I luv yapping 💜💙 The post in question for those who don't know: watchers using clonefies as a puppet/vessel!
Oh Voidfies my deeply belothed. Love hate relationship with that wretched thing. What is it. What does it do. Why is it in my house. Wato got the mask from it, but it also seemingly took the mask back as well, and then seemingly did this several times ? As in how was Wato functioning seemingly normally when not in the Evilfies server, normally enough that Ken asks them for the IP and doesn't sense anything wrong with her? Idk if that makes sense. gyaru peace sign this will haunt me forever and that's why all I write is post canon.
There's two ways I'm imagining Voidfies in this au now that we're talking abt it: one is that it is straight up just a puppet/vessel that's even further stripped down, and depending on your take on the Omz mask, the mask is either what helps the watchers control it, or the Omz mask is parasitic in some way and isn't of watcher origins.
Another take on it that I'm really enjoying is the idea that 1, the clones are at least partially made of void magic, and 2 the Omz mask may have started as a watcher tool but something broke/severed it's connection and now it's basically a rogue entity. So what if, in the absence of a proper vessel, the Omz mask. . . picks the other clones for parts, so to speak, and created Voidfies out of the void imbued within them, which I mentioned here just really briefly in the end. It'd be a body that wouldn't fight back or have much sentience, the mask could do whatever. Without it's main source of power, I wonder what the mask does to keep itself alive. . . ?
so many fun thoughts here to think of........... i hope this was interesting ! Dunno if this is where you thought it'd go djfhgkdjhfg
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phagodyke · 7 months ago
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my god. new contender for most shite day at work this year so far
another morning another free bus journey..
#my boss has been moving my schedule around constantly all week to add new shit and I DONT HAVE TIME IN THE DAY TO DO ALL THIS!!#and this morning on my way in i was like ok its gonna be tight but i should just abt get everything done !!#except NOPE she took an extra 2 hours out of my schedule at the start of the day for me to do someone elses work#which she (coworker not my boss i mean) easily had time to do herself bc she was only scheduled for training today???#AND then she (my boss) spontaneously decided to do some application work. made a fucking mess of my lab + hogged all the equipment I-#needed for the work that SHE SCHEDULED FOR ME TO DO!!!! so i ended up having to push everything#and worked half an hour unpaid overtime on the ONE week im supposed to not be working ANY overtime for once#and i had some of the worst period cramps ive had in years i think my meds are worsening them. which makes sense bc they have a#vasoconstriction effect but i wasnt prepared i ran out of ibuprofen the other day so literally NOTHING to help#physically couldnt stand up for a good 30-45 mins. 2 of my coworkers independently went and got me ibuprofen tho bless 🥹#i was abt to abandon everything and just go home bc i was feeling so dizzy and couldnt thjnk from how painful it was#but glad i stuck thru it bc otherwise id have to do all this shit next week 💀#my boss fucked up w the application work as well like girl. thats my work u clearly dunno how to do it.#and i kept trying to give her pointers bc remember she was taking up MY space all day to do this and she didnt listennnn#aurgh. well its over now anyway just got tmr to get thru and then its the weekend#ive moved a bunch of stuff to next week too if my boss has beef w me abt it in our meeting tmr idc i cant physically do that much in a day#shes always giving me excessive amts of work and then she comes in when im halfway thru it and shes like shit thata a lot of samples..#my brother in christ YOU ASKED ME TO DO THIS MANY!!!!#ohhhh my god. its fine tho i do like my job i do like my boss its just been so hectic n disorganised this week#its not all been bad tho one of my coworkers showed me his sons illustration degree dissertation project at lunch which was SICK#it was like. body horror concept stuff for an imagined animated show of a short story. some of it reminded me of scavengers reign#also we have a new guy starting whos gonna be doing cover for qc for the next year so ill prolly see a lot of him 👀#he seems rly sweet i liked him when he came in to interview so :^)#ANYWAY im gonna take a quick shower -> change -> take a couple more ibuprofen -> go out to the gym social#ill take it easy bc im still in some pain even its eased up a lot. but i wanna hang out w them ive been looking forward to it all week#not gonna miss it just bc work was shit!!!!#.diaries
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banhtet · 10 months ago
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HAYAMI RAMBLE POST
hii. been busy here and there so all ive done is rewatching unfinished anime series and dealing w both asthma and acute laryngitis and depression 🤡🤡
but ive been thinking abt hayami whenever i listen to mitski so. I Have To make a post abf her
this will be hcs mostly.............. 💀 some hcs/interpretation will be ooc as i need to rewatch the anime + reread the manga and the korotan series. but it physically hurts me sometimes bc i get too excited, then ill spiral into hatred for the series. ALSO MY INTEREST IN IT HAS BEEN DILUTING? THATS NOT GOOD!
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- i think hayami straightens her hair for the majority of her middle school final yr. bc in the manga, its shown in the manga that she still has curly frilly hair but to separate herself from Irina, its tied up and straightened
- which leaves me to think shes those cases of blonde suddenly turn brunette as they grow older but in her case its like hella obvious. I dont think her mom would let her dye her hair so the dying hair thing is out of the question for me
- this mostly stems from the ova where she has blonde hair + some ppls interpretation of hayami in which she has brown hair and i think thats so swag
- i think hayami has hazel eyes.. just bc it just seems fitting that she does yk. and also brown hair + hazel eyes combo hayami ? God Bless
- how others see hayamis eyes can depend on the lighting.. like when its sunset it appears more brown to others or when its morning, it appears more green. could even be gold in a very specific moment
- its mentioned that hayami is more expressive in the beginning of assclass and gets more stoic later on.
- And then i think abt how matsui tried to box hayami into the tsundere stereotype even tho it just makes me see her more as a person w communication problems and issues handling her facial expressions
- i think hayami naturally just has like an angry face (furrowed brows and all that)..
- combined w her communication problems, hayami is pretty much just misunderstood by her classmates as someone whos difficult and irritable (one example is the boys group chat thing where okajima expresses that he likes hayami and in turns maehara is like "eeeehh... uhhhhh.. dunno dude shes kinda scary")
- its also Very Important to me that hayami has said tsundere-esque lines.. Like the infamous "Dont get the wrong idea" when saving itona and also her line in the popularity ranking ("Its not like im happy or anything" or smth of that nature)
- Ik why she said those but Why is she saying them specifically? like whys she trying to Stay Neutral/not opinionated abt her ranking in particular.
- shes so catcore. Hayami was a latchkey child from a very young age. we dont rlly have any info on hayamis life from her graduation forward aside from some in the korotan, the epilogue and like some meta info,,
hayami was relied on a lot and had to do others dirty bidding. i imagine her believing that it was some form of friendship, some way of maintaining their relationship (considering the absence of her father and mother and her chasing for validations)
i think her previous classmates were afraid of her at the beginning, but when realized that hayami had good intentions, they used her loneliness to benefit themselves
(UTTER OVERTHINKING) do you think that her being "sassy" or smth of that nature is to barricade others from getting too close in hopes of not being fooled/used for dirty works again, its also her nature in general But like at the same time, its prob one of the only approach of communication shes used to (knowing what happens after and all that). Do you think she has disorganized (leaning a bit more on anxious) attachment. Do you think that her communication problems already make her appear to be cold but her interpersonal difficulties drive it further . Why does she have such little connections to the girls despite being seen w them often. do you think abt yada, whos multitalented, jealous of hayami ,whos noted by others for mostly her sniping talent and the rest is ignored. do y
its so weird to me that hayami stagnated in her development? (her being a receptionist, the whole "she strives to be a coworker everyone can rely on" and also singlehandedly fishing chiba out of unemployment)
its great that shes honed her receptionist skills but in the end, its mostly just for helping someone else. and the fact that chiba isnt depicted as like being against it is kinda off.. hayamis known for her stretching thin of herself and chiba, being arguably hayamis closest friend, would. at least realize that she has a self-sacrificing tendency (seeing how observant he is yk)
?? apparently she singlehandledly handles every business and sales matters. insane. also,, ig its fitting that hayami chose a fast-paced position for her job but idk man. Idk its still insane to me that hayami is chibas receptionist..
on a lighter note she cut her hair at some point in the future so thats cool
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demi hayami forever. shes 100% demi. i also think shes unlabeled, like she doesnt rlly care what she is tbh. others ask her abt it and shes like "idk up to interpretation" (ooc)
its so funny to me. that in korotan c, apparently she showed up to watch asano having a lil date w princess lea? bc it mentioned her name later on helping lea from the "bodyguards" (along w chiba too.. this makes their viewing their classmates from afar in the animated koro q funnier tbh)
hayami in the skiing club.....
i think her interest/reason for joining is mostly that she wanna try it and also bc i think she saw it on tv a few times and got fascinated by the ppl skiing/snowboarding
dunno where the clubs got the budget to apparently Go Fucking Skiing frequently,, or how the club would even operate (in Middle School no less). but i think itd be pretty funny if the club disbanded some time later and hayami joined a dance club instead (which would make more sense)
i think hayami had done ballet before. as a kid. Just a hc but she wanted smth to do rather than. Sitting watching tv bc no ones home
horrible horrible thought but hayami seems semi like those kids whose parents are on the verge of a divorce (projection) 💀
i think one of the reasons why i tend to read hayami as having avpd is. just the fact that she pays attention to 'the class dynamic and harmony and such'? im not 100% sure on the meaning of that sentence but that just reminds me of my experience w avpd and i Have To hc her as having it
as a final thing :
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aropride · 1 year ago
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wrt that poll abt tone indicators thats going around.w ell first of all tbh i think some of the hatred for them comes from cringe culture. but second of all. some of the criticism is totally fair like there are a fuckton of tone indicators and sometimes . there really dont need to be. and the abbreviations can be confusing i try to type out ones that arent s srs or j. tho i feel like most of the newer ones were popularized on twt so itmakes sense they wouldnt be written all the way out
like i think my prolem is when theres SO many and theyre redundant. i found a carrd with a fuckton of them that im gonna comment on To entertain myself sorry
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like these 3 all feel redundant .. why do u need a different tone tag for Mostly joking than Half joking ? or for a Coping joke ? just use /j or combine with with like, /neg or something to get the tone across yknow? and /ji - first of all looks like /ij (inside joke), second of all why not just use /j
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and like. why half serious or mostly serious or not serious when /j or /hj exist ? why /ns when it looks so similar to /nsrs, which means the opposite ? ive been using /s since like 2015 and /srs since like 2018 so ivegot those down and dont confuse them but i see why could be for some one who hasnt used them b4, why make it more complicated?
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i like /g or /gen in theory- ppl have said its confusing bc gen could be general which i get, but for ppl familiar w tone tags tend to know what it means. genq is one ive used just bc. its fun to type tbh. and i think ppl get what it means but its not really Necessary. BUt genep and genc feel unnecessary when /g and /srs exist, and /gene is just, a word. that's just a word ! 😭
ojh my god. i should do a tone indicator tier list
as you can see my adhd meds are working
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/nbr is funny bc half the time when some1 says theyre not being rude they definitely are. also there's already /g /srs and /lh. /nm is either helpful or deeply confusing Bc i try to take it at face value but sometimes i see it and im like. Why would i be mad ? and i start overthinking. but thats a me problem
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i like this one i use it when i complain a lot Bc i dont want ppl to think im vagueing them i just love complaining
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i love these ones. tone indicators for Being Mean To Someone. dunno if its on this list but ive seen /pa and /sbh (/passive aggressive & /somebody here, respectively) which is SO funny. i dont think theyre helpful really though except /neg Bc again. these all mean very similar things !!! why not just clarify extra things with a parenthetical
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THESE R ALL THE SAME TONE !!! why not jsut use one single tone indicator for this !!! or none at all and just type the word !!!
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need /nfl on a shirt in the aro colors so poeple know im not fucking interested in them. that aside. 1. whywould u need this ever !!! why not use again just /j if necessary.and 2. isnt the nfl a football thing
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these r similar but i do like them, i think typing out a whole word again is a better solution so u dont have to scavenge google for the meaning but i think its helpful to clarify this and isnt synonymous with /j or /s or /lh
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i think these ones are almost all just from the op's discord server or w/e, i won't bash that cuz if it works for them it works, that being said i dont think This many tone indicators for these types of things r helpful outside of that specific context yknow? also, /fx is really funny
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ok i wont say that typing tics dont exist bc tics can be complex and vary by situation etc so im sure they can, but is that happening That much that u need a tone tag for it ? and also like. for /unin just delete the msg or say "oops sent too early hang on" or smth.. and as for vocal stim. first of all why is it /vt ? and second of all . why ... would u need that to type out ? bc if ur vocal stimming that would be. out loud? i.e. not in a chat where youre typing ???????@????>?,//???? BAFFLING. also in what situation is /gib necessary i genuinely cant think of one
ANYWAY.
None of this is to rag on tone indicators (/genuine) i think they can be helpful + i am always being gensrs when i use them. i just think some r a little silly & a lot from longer lists are unhelpful Bc theyre supposed to make communication Easier and Clearer + haveing So many tone indicators with Different Implied Tones WITHIN the indicators !!! makes it harder imo. bc if theyre to clarify tone why should i have to fight for my life deciphering why someone went from /mj to /hj yknow.
like this is all my Opinion and imsure these r all helpful for Someone otherwise they wouldnt exist but i rly feel like the system could be condensed a bit yk.
do i have a system in mind to suggest here ? well.
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(also. this whole post is /genuine, /lighthearted, /not upset, and /not passive aggressive. and a bit /silly)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#sigh... i just feel i could learn so much easier if i didnt get distracted by my thoughts every 5min#i dont even kno how it happens. i kno that i do it and so im like ok im gonna pay attention and not think things at the same time#but then my brain starts talking and my attention gets divided and then suddenly i blink and realized i dont kno the context for whatever#was being said. how? how does that happen? and whats worse is that im not even thinking anything interesting bc my thoughts tend to b#cyclical and dont tend to progress unless i write things down. which is frustrating and makes me feel stupid#bc its like is ur brain so tiny that u can only carry out one conversation with yourself over and over and over?#it just makes me think of that b0 burnh4m monolog abt shutting the fuck up. can anyone? any single one? any single person? shut thr fuck up?#shut the fuck up. just shut the fuck up. about anything. any single thing? but its me @ my own brain#i dunno. my short term working memory is just fucked. today i opened google earth to plot something and opened my phone to pull of thr#points and forgot what i was doing like 3 times while i was sitting there. i open documents and scripts and i flip back and forth between#tasks bc theres too much to do and i cant triage. i just need someone to lock me in an empty room not let me out until i finish things#i dunno. i cant control my attention. weirdly im not that distractable tho. like i get internally distracted by the thoughts in my head#but if im having a conversation and something happens thst its distracting to any normal person im like. i have to let it go knowing the#other person is likely to get distracted and thr Subject will change. and ill hold onto distracted threads of conversation. bc it really#bothers me for conversations to be flexible and flowing i guess. i dunno its weird. i was the freak who would b extremely focused on getting#school work done while ppl i was working with were chatting away. like if i have a focused goal ill sit there until its done#ill sit there doing something until its finished but if u give me options i flail#options r the enemy. that perhaps contributes to my control issues. i say i dont like a lot of things just so i have less things to make#choices abt. bleh. this is y i wanna go to somewhere like antarctic to a research station where i would just do science all the time#force my focus onto research only. except id probably lose my mind bc i cant b around ppl that much#whatever. i dont even feel that bad. its just a thing ive noticed on top of my control problems being rather bad rn. and as i said ive got a#tiny goldfish brain so it helps to write things down so i can understand what's happen bc im not stupid the information is in there but its#hidden from me bc my neurobiology is fucking annoying. whatever.#unrelated
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noxiatoxia · 1 year ago
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hikakao asks: who do u think was the first one to "cross the line"?
what do u think would be the actual reaction of the host club once they find out that they're like actually fucking? (and somewhat related: with whom would they have a threesome with? and who would actually agree to it?)
not high anymore yay !
these are all SUCH good questions. For your first one, the thing is, I can see both?? Hikaru is the obvious first choice due to his poor impulse control and complete comfort in taboo acts, but Kaoru I can equally see as he probably developed feelings first. Maybe he let Temptation take over, or the guilt took him over and he confessed to Hikaru. Especially bc Hikaru is Dense and maybe never realized what he felt for Kaoru was love.
Physically speaking I can see it just sort of happening...one thing leads to another and suddenly theyre kissing and then touching then oops felony! Dunno if you can say one of them starts it over the other.
Maybe they've both been crossing the line for years now so slowly that it's hard to tell anymore...🤔
As for the club reaction......oughh....hmm.....so i think Tamaki would be slightly weirded out but would quickly get over it because "it makes sense". Kyoya would just invest more in making sure the twins avoid getting caught by the law bc they make too much money. Haruhi would be weirded tf out but after a while she'd just Give Up. Hani and Mori would be the most chill abt it I think because they are incest brothers in arms. and of course Renge is all for it.
I think the twins would def want to have a threesome with Haruhi, no doubt. I can also see Tamaki (to torment him) and Kyoya (to torment him). Haruhi would refuse, Kyoya would threaten to kill them in some roundabout way, and Tamaki would meekly turn them down...i dont think any of them are brave enough to engage in sex with the both of them. can you imagine the evil mind games.
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averys-happy-space · 2 years ago
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affovelvet truly the ship ever
also i forgot to include it but clottedchip deserves more attention too!!
ship rambles below the keep reading button
honestly, the more i think abt princess x knight, the more i think princess is likely to see knight as more of an older brother figure than a romantic interest lol. and yea, idk why, she just gives me lesbian vibes lmao. but if u ship them thats fine too
seamoon usually gets the short end of the stick bc they're both legendaries and devsis like to just ride the rarity bias wave instead of giving them a proper story, but i enjoyed their crk bond story! i like the idea of sf being a singer. i just wished there were more seamoon fics </3 despite its popularity, theres barely anything on ao3 bc everything there is espresseleine...
speaking of espresseleine, i considered putting it in the "ship i dont like anymore" category bc i dislike how it overwhelmingly dominates the fandom to the point where its hard to find content of other ships. but actually i never liked it in the first place lol, i've always just been pretty neutral about it, so i decided not to include them
for sparkherbvamp, i dont include mint, because i see mint as being the token straight friend lol. i think juice bar regulars are a tight gang, but mint is with cocoa while the other three have their own thing going on. also, as a side note, i think herb totally smokes weed. just gets high as shit all the time. and him and vamp will trip out together lmao while spark is their trip sitter who always makes sure they dont get into too much trouble
darkmilk is in the controversial ship box bc ppl keep misinterpreting their story. i think theres definitely an argument to be made abt how milk idolises choco to an unhealthy degree and the relationship would probably be unhealthy and have a power imbalance, but i don't think it would be like, outright abusive/manipulative or anything. i dunno, theyre both adults, i think they could make it work. actually, probably any ship with pome could fit in this controversial box too, like pomelico, cuz the fandom usually interpret it as abusive and problematic. which isnt wrong, it definitely would be lol. but it would be an interesting ship to explore in a fictional context. so add pomelico and pome x starfruit there
for the "ships i didnt initially like", just to be clear i DO like those ships now lol. i never finished odyssey so i never rlly got to see wildchips dynamic or chemistry so thats why i wasnt into it initially but i basically absorbed gin's love for them. also the fanart is cute. affocream i didnt like initially bc i LOVE affo and i used to hate clotted, like, a lot lmao. but after following affocream artists for a long while, ive grown to like them a lot
i dont rlly have much to say abt the other ships. chilirye and raspblossom is mainly bc of their bond stories (and i especially think raspblossom deserves way more love). and wiz x proph x cinna is bc of piano lol.. i love cinna and piano got me to love wiz and proph too just thru how much he talks abt all of them
and yea thats it. thanks for reading the long ship post that i thought about way too much
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murlocks · 2 years ago
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hello I'm your competitor in the failboy contest and please tell me about Jeremy I want to hear about your cringefail vampire guy if you're okay talking about him
HI okay yes im always okay talking about him i made a propaganda post abt him but i can probably think up more to say i always have more to say about him
first things first: i hate him. (/pos) i want to wrap him in a rug and roll him down a flight of stairs he is an absolute wet paper bag of a man and i am never not thinking about him.
hes an absolute pussy but hes also an adrenaline junkie so he purposefully provokes his murderous cannibalistic vultureguy boyfriend simply for the entertainment. hes gay and god wont let him die so he finds getting an attractive man to try and kill him quite the emotionally fulfilling activity. asher (his boyfriend) is a little bit fucked up (/pos) so he goes along with it but they both know jeremy will be completely fine its stress relief for both of them tbh
second: some backstory. fair warning for like . vampire-typical religious trauma?? i dunno tbh
he was raised in like . a classic religious town and he was very much a juvenile delinquent so ppl around town didnt really like him and it only got worse when he got turned bc of course everyone in that town was raised to think that vampires were horrible abominations that go against god or whatever stupid shit you can think of theyve probably been taught that. so he kinda internalized all that and obviously when he got turned against his will he had a horrible crisis of faith and was questioning what he did to deserve this fate. obviously if vampires are bad and hes a vampire that means hes bad and he did something to deserve getting turned into one. yeah that boys a little fucked up in the head.
he got chased out of town once he was discovered to be a vampire. after he got turned, he went back home and locked himself away for about a week trying to process it and didnt come out bc he felt like shit physically (obviously, he literally just died and got turned into a vampire, i would feel a little ill about it too) but eventually his like . one singular friend he had in town came to check on him because hed been missing for a while and he told them everything because he thought he could trust them, he told them "there was this guy who attacked me a couple nights ago and i passed out and i woke up in the middle of the street the next morning and the sun hurt and ive been so hungry ever since but none of the food ive eaten has helped and i dont know whats going on. everything hurts and i feel so sick i dont know whats wrong" and his friend is like. Oh. Oh Fuck . and they run off under the guise of finding him medicine/food/whatever but of course instead of doing what they said they would they go straight to one of the towns religious leaders and they gather up a bunch of people to either kill him or chase him out of town.
he escapes, narrowly, but now hes got nowhere to go. hes never left his little town, he has no family or friends to go to, hes basically screwed. he finds himself wandering for days on end just kinda contemplating his life (and beating himself up for getting turned in the first place, because OBVIOUSLY its gotta be his fault somehow. he mustve done something wrong for his friend to be so eager and ready to turn on him its gotta be his fault) and eventually he stumbles upon this little desert town in the middle of nowhere. theres a big old abandoned mansion on a cliff overlooking the town, and, of course, jeremy, the overdramatic (like, theater kid levels of dramatic) idiot that he is, goes, "oh! thats perfect! ill live there!"
and he lives there pretty much undisturbed for approximately 20 years. he has absolutely zero human contact because hes scared of hurting people and he subsists off animal blood from the meager livestock the townspeople own. hes not doing too hot mentally of course, hes a trainwreck with literally nothing to do but sit alone in his house and listen to his own thoughts, but he survives, at least.
until, one day, asher, (my boyfriends oc), one very curious citizen of the nearby town, accepts a dare to go explore the abandoned mansion at the top of the cliff. theres rumors spreading that its haunted, and surely he would earn some respect from his peers if he could survive a night there, right? he can prove theres nothing too dangerous there at all.
until he opens the door. and awakens a very disgruntled vampire from his midday nap.
and the rest is history.
part three: boyfriend endeavors. serious warning for violence and vampire-typical "cannibalism" and less vampire-typical Actual Fucking Cannibalism. also fair warning jeremy and ashers relationship dynamic is more than a little fucked up but theyre both aware of it and its all fully consensual because they are both more than a little fucked up
for a while, they both believe the other is a Completely Normal Guy (albeit, asher is a seemingly Normal Guy with massive fuck-off bird wings and jeremy is. well hes jeremy, but still) until one night jeremy is out and about trying to find some source of food in the town, climbing across rooftops and shit and all of a sudden he stumbles upon asher, elbows deep in a human corpse and absolutely covered in blood. he has the end of a bone sticking out of his mouth. this is completely normal Asher Behavior but jeremy is not aware of that. he loses his footing on the roof he is standing on and goes tumbling down into the street.
asher turns around to look at him and hes got this crazed look on his face and jeremy is just staring at him trying to figure out what the fuck hes supposed to say in this situation because he just fucking walked in on his one and only friend literally Eating A Person but he has no room to judge and asher looks more attractive covered in blood than he has any right to be and jeremy does not have time to unpack all that.
so, after a solid minute of staring at each other, jeremy goes "so. uh. you gonna finish that?" and asher bursts out laughing.
he explains his whole vampire situation and asher explains that he does not have any such situation hes just a bit fucked up and he enjoys eating bones. you know what, fuck it, hes a vulture guy, it makes sense. kinda. whatever. jeremy cant judge.
at this point in time, jeremy is still very much ashamed of who and what he is. he is more than aware that the animal blood he is surviving off of is not very nutritious whatsoever and if he wants any type of proper quality of life hes gonna have to feed off of an actual human person someday. hes not looking forward to it. but asher is just?? fucking sitting there?? eating literal human bones just because he feels like it????? and jeremy doesnt know how to process that. hes morally opposed to it but instinctually he knows thats what he should be doing. and from there on out asher actively endeavors to get jeremy to be less catholic guilt-y about the whole thing. he genuinely doesnt give a fuck and it gives him a headache to see jeremy being all stressed about it so he makes it his life mission to absolutely destroy that boys morals. and it works. it fucking works.
asher is such a horrible influence and he has made jeremy so much worse from an outsider standpoint but jeremys mental health is so much better with ashers involvement in his life and theyre so horrible for each other but theyre also a perfect match. they drive me insane.
ive probably missed a lot in this post and i have so much more i could say about him and asher but thats whats on my brain right now. theyre both so fucked up i hate them (/pos)
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conceptofjoy · 4 months ago
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you're right abt ultdirk and rosebot because from the commentary of the original team (i haven't read the commentary from the new team idk what they're up to) ultdirk and rosebot were written to be representative of adam and eve which is kind of 😟 esp when you take some of their word choice in the epilogue/hs2 dialogue into account it suddenly feels reeeaaaally creepy. not in the way that i think we should hunt the writers for sport for doing this because taking scratch's history of grooming rose into account it's not exactly out of line with ultdirk's character so i'm not even saying that it would be a bad writing decision. but then i don't want to bring any of that up ofc because 1) there's going to be the people who just want to turn that dynamic into incest porn and 2) i don't want to look like a freak who's reading too much into it (because realistically i could just be way off base) and be mistaken for the previously mentioned category of people
idk the word choice the team/person used to say that bc ive only heard it second hand, if it was meant to be jokey, an unthought out comment, or like a heavy handed heads up, so i dunno what to say w out the context. if its the latter (god i hope) it's a real fuckin interesting addition to the unreliable narrative thing bro's got going on. to be honest, it sort of seems that dirk doesn't want to reckon with perceiving his actions in this way unironically, while simultaneously wringing her of everything she has to give to him and verbally "putting her on a pedestal"/ saying shes a "co-conspirator".
rose believes she has autonomy, she believes she went with dirk out of her own volition, but how much of it was the combined socialization efforts to make her want to serve "the greater good" as well as her falling into ascension/ getting put in that damn bot? dirk needs two seers to win, they dont need him.
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pg 612-613
this is the most clear cut excerpt i can make but like . it gets my point across.
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mikeyfuckinway · 2 years ago
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auuuhhg everyday of my life im like this guy and i are so incompatible. it would never work if we were to date and tbh i do not want to date him traditionally however i am deeply charmed by him and think hes one of the funniest loveliest and most interesting people on this planet earth i WANTED to listen to him talk about the beatles for an hour over lunch and he made me a beatles playlist after i made him a they might be giants playlist and hes so wonderful and i want him to be like. my best friend forever like i want him to be my guy like hes not my bestest estest friend someone else occupies that position and they always will its like that thing where u know someone for so long and your relationship has gone through so many weird phases that nothing is ever going to make you not want to be friends with them anymore like theyre my ultimate person who i will know and love forever. but like i want this other guy to be one of MY guys and. you know what i dont think i have a crush on him anymore. my friends and i were talking about love languages and i am severely physically affectionate and he is a germophobe he has ocd but like thats one of the things i like abt him bc he has things like i do like ticks and habits and we both habitually chew our nails and we are so similar but at the same time we are both so different and hes also really really straight and cis so like i dont think itd ever truly work but anyways we were talking abt love languages and hes like a big quality time guy and im very like i wanna do my things like i love you but if youre doing something im uninterested in i dont want to do it. like i have done things that i wouldnt otherwise do bc he was doing them but like it wasnt a "i dont want to do this" to a "i want to do this bc hes going to be there" it was more of a "im indifferent to this but it sounds fun im just not specifically interested" to a "i specifically would like to do this now bc it sounds fun and also he is going to be there" idk its still a thing where like. im just not a specifically quality time kind of person but since im a physical affection kind of person it can kind of come with it but i dunno oh well oh well. either way i dont think we would fulfill what the other wants out of a relationship idk maybe i would for him mostly but i dont think he would for me. unless our understanding of each other changes dramatically and he spends like a month and a half reading queer theory. then like maybe but still. my biggest problem is i need someone who will understand me and understand why i am the way i am genderwise and the thing is. the people who fully understand the way i am will also probably identify like me bc my identity is a product of my understanding of gender and society and that shit, not the other way around. i identify the way i do mostly bc of how my ideas about that shit have changed and the reading ive done about it. and like also the autism but he kind of has that too like not totally the same but like i said we have like some of the same little things but when it comes to like our ideas of ourselves i think we are very different i also have severely pathologized myself from a young age and also i hated my mom and wanted to kill myself and as far as im aware he was much more well adjusted as a child but i guess i dont really know. hm. but i met his parents when they came for family weekend and also he was like surprised when i said my family doesnt eat dinner together very often so they seem pretty like normal midwest american family and didnt seem like they had many familial issues like my household did which honestly is the least big deal thing to me. like if it was just that id be like whatever that doesnt matter but in addition to all the stuff yknow thats just one more thing that is like very extremely different about us and how we developed as people. like honestly its mostly the queer thing. and the germophobe thing like when we were talking abt it like he did say he would probably be very bad at it in a relationship like i oh wow i hit the character limit
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