#whatever. i dont even feel that bad. its just a thing ive noticed on top of my control problems being rather bad rn. and as i said ive got a

[princessmyriad]

.

[kalechipswithasideofkale]

my adrenaline has gone down finally so i feel i can give my thoughts on this season

no more faks! no more! please!

i think the series is taking inspiration from different art movements and genres. season one - surrealism?, season two - modernism?, season three - baroque? im not well versed on this stuff but i definitely noticed they use different forms of art to make the seasons feel different from one another

piggybacking off the earlier bulletin; i think thats also why this season feels like all flash and no substance. whatever movement or era they decided to do with season three is very ou la la oui oui i zam an artist bonjour /nm its very different from the movements they went with in the past seasons. this one feels serious and fancy smancy

i still think they’re going to go through with sydcarmy and this season just solidifies it. syd and carmy are severly mentally ill with issues they need to work out. they dont handle stress and expectations well if at all.

i think some of the things being said by the characters are being taken at face value specifically carmy calling claire peace. i dont think the writers are writing claire to be a source of peace for carmy; hes just so in denial and confused about his emotions he knows he supposed to feel peace from claire but cant figure out why he doesnt

i missed marcus sweeps and tina in this season so much. and syd! i was excited for sweeps to go to wine school only for it to be a one off thing. the tina episode was good but thats the only thing i can think of from the top of my head that she stood out in. marcus’ mom died? but it feels like she didnt die at all? like the weight of his moms death isnt being felt in his character and that made me really sad. i wanted a little more with syd and marcus with their moms :/

im not angry at carmy somehow? i just feel this deep sadness because he is so unlike himself. my initial frustrations with the season made it hard for me to look at his character. now that ive calmed down, he just makes me sad. like thinking about him makes me feel like a wet sausage dude he needs serious help and im scared he’s gonna do something very bad in this next season/part

i was really hoping there would be more parallels between new york carmy and current syd. they might explore it in season 4 and i really hope they do!

where tf was everyone else in the emergency room and why was it the two faks. there is no dissection in the world that will make me okay with those losers being there im sawry

syd being the first person sugar called and claire being the last mhm yup 🙂‍↕️

a good chunk of claire and carmys scenes being muted or cool colors once again!

RICHIE AND HIS DAUGHTER AA!! i wish they had an entire episode dedicated to them theyre so cute!

theres something to be said about loneliness and isolation this season? again i would need to rewatch the season. something something carmy pushing syd away something something nat fearing giving birth because of her mom something something syd having a breakdown and isolating herself from the rest of the fam something something

pete ❤️

chris you have reached ur limit on white male characters enough is enough theres NO MORE ROOM

ngl i actually liked seeing john cena on my screen yall pls

why are we so close to everyones face i zont like zat at all

i thought they were going to bring louis back and got so excited!!! BRING BACK LOUIS

they wrap up the claire storyline by season 4 or part three?? whatever theyre doing idk

LUCA!!!!!!

as much one sided beef i have with jlc she delivered i crode very hard

backseating the characters of color is very lame and bogus! i hated it! what happened to tinas friends she met at school? does ebra not have family? syd and her dad? marcus and his roommate? so many characters they could introduce from sydney marcus tina ebra fuck even angel and manny but they insist on introducing characters that have ties to the berzattos. i hate it! i really do!

syds apartment? where did you go fren….

i wish they were more artsy fartsy with carmys internal struggles give me cringe film student vibes please ill take anything

FUCK CICERO he didnt do anything but PISS ME OFF >:(

why didnt they have syd work out the economics (or whatever tf that computer dude did do). didnt she do something like that in season one? i guess since cicero called him it makes sense

richie and nat are so adorable i love them!!!!

overall pretty mediocre season. it was okay for a show like the bear. i don’t agree with having an entire season dedicated to build up! or atleast in the way they’ve done it in season 3. season 1 was a prologue for the entire show yet it still felt like a complete season. alot of the things that went down in season three either could’ve been compressed into a shorter span of time or they could’ve gotten more episodes (as if its that easy lol but the pacing wouldn’t have suffered as much if the season was longer). um decent season? i dont hate it! i dont love it either. like i said it feels soulless and maybe thats the intention? idk man 😔

i will most definitely be seated for season four TRUST

[hellsgreatestfaggot]

Dom!Abby x Reader : Abby eats you out until you cum …

warnings: Slight Sadomasochism, forced stimulation, degredation, Hate-sex, fingering

*disclaimer* this is like the third smut fic ive ever wrote so erm it might be a little bad! anyway if you want to skip directly to the porn look for the ‘‼️‼️‼️’ ! leave suggestions and enjoy

_______________________________________________

It was the brisk morning of april 12th. You were walking alone in the mountains of what used to be the quiet, dainty town of los osos, California. You were on the road for 3 weeks, travelling from seattle to the coast. Trying to find the people who the WLF had made some sort of weird deal with. it wasnt easy, you were supposed to be traveling with someone, but you felt like you didnt need her. you could handle a mission on your own, right?

what irked you more was that your almost-was partner was your competitor. Abby Anderson. she’d been nice to you, she considered you two to be close, but youd eventually had grown jealous of her. her physique, her skillful way of getting the job done, her attractiveness.. yet still, even in your jealousy, something made you wish you could…was it be like her? be with her? be friends with her? honestly you didnt know and you could care less. she was the least of your problems.the leaves crunched underneath your boots, but then suddenly you heard a noise which made you stop dead in your tracks. “What the fuck made that noise?” you thought to yourself, slightly intimidated. You turned around to see a tall woman with a bulky figure and a leather coat, staring back down at you. you jumped back, not expecting someone to be behind you, but a wave of relief washed over you as you realized it was just Abby.

“Suprise”, said a low voice. “What the fuck Abby you scared me half to death?” “Sorry bout’ that , i didnt mean ta’ scare you.” she said with a laugh. “Whatever lets just get this shit over with.” you huffed. you hated her, hated the way she followed you, hated her smile, hated the way she stood behind you like some kind of bodygaurd. she practically towered over you. you needed to get it out of your system, you needed to desperately. you wanted to fuck her, but not nescesarily in a loving way, you wanted it to hurt. deep down you knew it was wrong to feel that way, she just made you angry. shed always been loyal and kind, maybe thats the reason you were still somehow drawn to her.

You walked with her for ages, talking about all sorts of things, from the mission, to your love life, until you stumbled upon a few houses just around the top of the mountains. “Its getting kinda late, why dont we stay here? just for tonight, well be back on the road by morning.” Abby asked, her Greenish-blue eyes looking you up and down, before meeting her eyes with yours and smiling gently. “Yeah sure..whatever..” You replied, desperately trying to ignore the cocky smile on her face.

Abby knew something was wrong. she couldnt quite figure out what it was? was it because she came anyway? Nah, she knew youd eventually need her. you both stepped inside one of the houses, making sure it was clear for the night. inside there was a living room, a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. kinda wimpy for a house but nonetheless it was better than nothing. You sat on the couch while abby took off her bulky jacket, revealing a almost see through white tank top. it flattered her muscular body perfectly. You felt your cheeks heat up, and started squirming, trying to adjust yourself without her noticing. But of course she noticed.

‼️‼️‼️

“Whats wrong, sweetheart…” she said calmly. “are you tired…? or do you just want sm’more?” she giggled. You tried to laugh it off but she sat next to you, grabbing on your thighs subconsciously, which just made you feel horny. You let out a sigh, thinking to yourself if you were really about to let her fuck you as if you were some sort of prostitute. yeah you totally were. A shiver ran down your spine as her cold hands traced over your thighs, your body yearned for her touch. “Lets make this quick, what do you say princess.?” She said in a low, raspy voice. You didnt wanna wait anymore, eagerly ripping your clothes off. itd been way too long since youd been touched, and maybe a hate fuck was what you needed?

She parted your thighs, removing your underwear which exposed your throbbing cunt. She could practically smell your exitement. Taking one finger and in one swoop, grazing over your heat. you Gasped, looking down at Abby, who just as you made eye contact buried her face into your sopping wet pussy. Her skilled tounge Lapping ferociously at your clit, Brought you close in a matter of seconds. just as you were about to finish she pulled away, a string of spit connecting the two to eachother. “Whyd you stop?” She glared up at you. “Stop fucking squiriming, Slut.” She grappled at your thighs holding them still, and immediately went back to eating you out. You felt tears well up in your eyes, you grabbed her hair, shoving her face even deeper, and grinding on her , desperate for any friction you could get. Her muffled grunts becoming more intense and focused as she inserted 2 fingers inside of your aching hole. “ahah..a-bby..” was all you managed to get out. you felt your orgasm approaching rapidly, Bucking your hips up, crying out for her to keep going. “Hnh…f-faster…a-ab-by..m’gonna cum…”

She looked up for a moment at the mess she was able to create, huffing under her breath, “fucking whore. cant get enough.” and diving back down, her tounge swirling on your sensitive bud. Your high hit you like a ton of bricks, and you came all over her face, exhausted. but she didnt stop, she kept going, forcing you to take the rest of her rough licking, riding out your orgasm. when she finally stopped she made eye contact with you and licked your juices off her fingers, and kissing you, forcing you to taste yourself. “good job princess… you did so well.” She planted a kiss on your neck before giving you her jacket, and cleaning up the mess you had made. you laid on top of her, and found yourself secure in the knowledge shed be there when you awoke.

_____________________________________________

A/N

i want to ride abbys face

This was pretty fun to write, leave some ideas or tips pretty please🙏🏽🙏🏽

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 168 spoilers and thoughts that IM NOT LATE WITH FOR ONCE! KIND OF! YAY! and more below the cut

.

.

.

OKAY. OKAY CAN WE TALK ABOUT THESE TWO PANELS WITH LLOYD AND JAVIER REALLY REALLY QUICK. i would save this for the end of the post since its closer to the end but im super impatient okay what else can i say. LOOK AT THE WAY JAVIER IS LOOKING AT HIM

HE IS LOOKING AT HIM SO DAMN FONDLY. WHAT THE FUCK. THERE IS WARMTH IN THAT GAZE I SWEAR TO GOD IM NOT CRAZY. "you're such a terrible person" AND HES LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. crazy. CRAZY.

the adaptor knew what they were doing . i swear it . like "yeah thats MY evil boyf. he's back to being evil and lively and his perfect bastard self." I SWEAR IT I SWEAR IM NOT CRAZY

this is proof of llovier. im so serious dont even joke lads

back to the top!

not much to say here lloyds expression is just so real sobs yeah . yeah,,, older gens having goofy ass back and forths over things that really arent the main issue here is universal

like i dont quite remember what season theyre in now but its past winter by this point and based on the two panels showing the time of day they had to have been arguing about this for AT LEAST FOUR HOURS 😭 LIKE WHAT THE FUCK (idk how accurate that estimate is im notoriously bad at time but still. a long fucking time) these BUFFOONS

also lloyd being dramatic as hell is so fucking silly HAHAHAHAHHAA

AND THEN THE LORDS FUCKING STARING AT HIM WHEN HE BRINGS UP THAT HE HAS AN IDEA. HELPPP all eyes on lloyd now !!! what brilliant idea do u have next thats absolutely totally not secured through lowkey social engineering!

so so SO happy w how confident he looks here heehee :3 whats with the pose tho lol is that a reference? maybe?

anyway they plan to make a train thru the pantara mountains? vantara? pan,,, idk what the correct translation is ive seen vantara and pantara

also lloyd just knowing exactly how to talk to those old ass political lords and understanding how to string them along idk what it is but i really really like that, it makes sense to me personally

i figure that thats probably something suho just Had to pay attention to back in korea, idk how korean politics works exactly but i imagine the principle of "person in charge can make or break a lot of things" still stands

so like it'd make sense that he pays attention to whoevers in charge of the finance stuff, which political figures care about money, and where that money goes, bc if they fuck with the funds for education thatll directly screw him over. idk if korea has financial aid but whatever equivalent that is that allows suho to get scholarships n stuff so he can stay afloat, if someone comes into power that will negatively affect his odds of getting that funding, he'll need to know and prepare! though maybe this is reaching a little too deep it might not be That Serious lmfao

again i really like how many of these confident / plotting expressions have been showing up IM SOO SO SO HAPPYYYY my schemer my little scheming guy he's BACK HES BACK

the two of them also look really really nice here in these two panels for some reason. i think im going crazy. i dont know why i like these panels its just. !??!?!?!?!??! like javiers hair is completely messy but idk i just ?!?!?!?!? im completely aro so its not like an attraction or anything but idk!?!??!?!?!

finally our first look at the overworld demons!!! these two kiddos seem super cute i really hope they dont . misunderstand or anything and that lloyd and javier can have some fun and heartwarming moments with them,,,, more sillies and soft fluff please!!!!! thats all i ask!!!!

okay that's all! not much to say this episode is just really really cozy to me. ok well as cozy as "lloyd frontera making evil expressions" can get LMFAO it feels like build up into the next section and im really excited to see what he's gonna do with this train idea and with the overworld demons...!!!!!

there was a notice at the end of the ep that the artist is taking a small break for their health so no ep next week, but there'll be one the week after i believe. we must be patient!!! rest well artist!!!!

that's it ill see yall in. two weeks? ill probably have some other yap post for the hiatus week idk, it depends on how my schoolwork goes. see yall then!!!!

[soap143]

Adult

Lee! Jeongin

Ler! Chan

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

For the past few days, hell, even weeks Jeongin had a strange feeling inside his stomach and annoying thoughts that wouldnt leave his head.

Tickling was a usual thing between the group. It happened daily more than one time. But somehow, Jeongin just couldnt get used to it. He always thought a bit weirdly of tickling, but after getting closer with the boys, at least for a while, he got used to it. However they were all older now and had much more work to do. It wasnt unsual to witness multiple wreckings in the 24 hours that he would spend with his friends, but he felt like he wasnt getting as much of it. Back when he was much younger, all the members would tickle him quite often, to the point where he thought that he might hate it.

Maybe they do think I hate it?

None the less, that was far from the truth — that was exactly what Jeongin had discovered. He really enjoyed the feeling of sneaky little fingers poking his sides and scratching his neck. The poor boy would always jump and yell for the tickler to stop, never knowing how much he acctually loved it. Whats there not to like? All the attention is on you, youre laughing and making others laugh and in the end — aftercare. Perhaps all the members stopped tickling him because of much he would fight back and plead to stop? It wasnt his fault tho. He was just insanely ticklish.

He watched his band group members poke eachother over and over again, simply dying in the inside. However he knew that he couldnt be too obvious about it. Nobody likes being tickled — thats a fact that he was aware of. Its very weird. So, of course, he would never dare to speak to anyone about this.

It was incredibly hard trying not to angrily stare at Changbin and Hyunjin poking eachother while playing video games. “Youre cheating!” Changbin plaufully yelled as he grabbed a chunk of Hyunjins side and mercilessly squeezed. Hyunjin let out a yelp and grabbed his poor side. “What is wrong with you?! I’m in last place beacause of you!” At this point they werent even playing. Hyunjin was trying to get on top of the dwaeki while the victim was fighting his long fingers off.

All that was happening as the poor maknae watched. He thought of joining in, but decided to sulk for a while until someone noticed.

When he arrived into his room, he had found out that another member was already in it. “Chan hyung, what are you doing here?” No response. “Hyung, why are you here?” Jeongin came a bit closer to the laying boy, only to realize he was sound asleep. “Poor Channie, he must have been tired…” He decided to let the leader rest. He was quite exhausted himself, so he carefully wrigled and cuddled up next to Chan.

As soon as I felt someone slighly squeeze my side, I flinched awake. I had gone into Jeongins room to talk to him, but considering I stayed up until dawn last night, I fell asleep on his bed… It was quite embarassing, but he didnt seem to mind. The maknae had cuddled up next to me and was asleep. Whenever Innie has a nightmare, he tends to squeeze whatever thing was the closest to him, whether it was his pillow, blanket or… His hyung.

He is our only maknae, our little baby, and I seemed to notice him not getting as much attention as he used to. But then I remember what he had said only a couple months ago…

We had just finnished practice, it was 9 pm. All of us were exhausted because of the long day. “Lets go to Mcdonalds!” “No, Burger King!” “Accualy, Ive been craving ramen for quite a while…” Everyone was choosing what to eat, however, I noticed Innie invested in his thoughts, sitting on the floor. “Hey I.N., good practice!” “Sure…” “Whatcha wanna eat? Everyone has agreed on ramen, but what do you think?” “ Ramens fine, but Im not going to eat… I-I did pretty bad today, I think I will stay a bit more to practice that one move.” “ Oh you really dont have to, not all of us quite got that, we will rehearse that again tommorow. We woke up at 6:30 am today, lets get some rest, yeah?” “ No, I really want to master that one move”

At this point mostly everyone had gathered up next to the youngest one in the group. “Innie, lets get food, Im so hungry!” “Who cares about that move, youll get it tommorow” “Even I didnt get it, dont worry, Innie!” Jeongin was fed up. Why did he have to get all this attention when he simply wanted to stay a little more after practice? “I SAID I WANTED TO MASTER JUST THIS ONE MOVE! Please, is it that hard to get?!” Everyone suddenly got quiet. Everybody but Chan left. “That was totally uncalled for, Jeongin! We were just-“ “Looking out for me? Being careful? Wanted the best for me? Jeez! Can I get a break from YOU. You always treat me like a baby! Well guess what, Im an adult now and make my own decisions. I dont want anyone, especially you Chan, constantly babying me and treating me like Im some child who cant make disicions of his own. Now go eat your ramen, Im not even hungry anymore. Im going back to the dorms. See you later.”

After that happened, we gave Jeongin less attention and treated him more like an adult. He had had multiple outbursts like this, but this one made things clear. However, I just think that he was tired and hungry, not necessarily angry. Maybe he just needed to let some emotions out, and needed a decent reason to do so.

Anyway, I think that he liked and still likes the attention, that we obviously dont give him anymore. Which is upsetting and frustrating, seeing our maknae so sad. Even though he said that he hates the attention that we give him, I can see him sulking, especially when we have fun and leave him out. I can tell that the boys aren’t doing it on purpose, theyre just doing what he wanted. But I can tell how much Innie misses being the little baby of the group.

Suddenly, I felt I.N. start moving around and wake up. “Hi Chan Hyung.” “Hello, Innie-ah” “Did I wake you up? I had a nightmare so I suspect I did… Sorry.” “It’s alright, I fell asleep in your bed when I was supposed to talk to you.” “What did you want to talk about, hyung?” I could tell by his voice that he was scared. “ Dont be afraid, its nothing bad.” “Oh. Well, tell me anyway” “Sorry if I offend you, but did you mean it? That you hate our attention and are sick of being babied? Because Ive been observing you and you dont seem any happier than when we treated you like our baby.” “Um… I guess I just feel more like an adult now.” “Do you like that?” I was met with silence. “Answer me Innie, please.” I.N. didnt seem like he was going to answer my question, so I decided to bring out the big guns. I had always known that our baby bread hated being tickled, but a little bit could never hurt. I gave him one last chance before diving in. At first I just pinned him down with both my arms. “Nohohoho, plehehease Channie Hyung!” he giggled in anticipation. “ One last chance, Jeongin~~ Do you acctually like it when we don’t give you attention? Or do you prefer to get babied like a little baby~~. Little baby bread…~~” I knew he couldn’t take any teases considering his red ears, face and neck. “Little I.N. baby bread, foxy baby cutie~” I lowered my face and whispered, pressing my lips against his neck. “Chahahahahnnie hyuAHAHAHA” he laughed harder as I nibbled and blew raspberries on his most vulnerable and ticklish spot. “ Answer my question or move to the next spot?” “Ahahnswer question, answer question! Pleheahase no more…!” “ Alright then, tell me, do you like being treated like the big adult you are?” “…Yes?” “Wrong!.” I yelled into his neck. “NOHOHOHO pleasepleasepleasechanniehyung listen to meee! You don’t have to do this, Im beggingbeggingbegging yoUHUHUUU” I pinned both his arms above his head and swiched to poking and squeezing his armpits. “CHAHAHAN PLEHEAHEHEASE LISTEN TO MEEEE! I HAHAHAHVE SOMETHIHIHING TO TELL TOU!!” “Oh yeah? Perhaps that youre so ticklish that you cant handle it?~” “ SERIUOSLY! SEHEHERIUOSLY PLEAEHEHESE!” I stoped for real this time. “Okay so you caught me. I do acctually like your attention and dont enjoy being treated like an adult as much as I thought I would, there, I said it!” “Please tell me what is true, not some lie you made up because you dont want to be tickled… I wont tickle you anymore, I promise!”

He promised he wouldnt tickle me. But oh, how much I wanted him to keep going… Curse my hyper sensitive body. “No, it is the truth, I have been a little upset lately” “Well, Im glad that you confessed to me. Can I tell the others?” “ Yeah, that would be great. Im too embarassed to tell them myself anyway…” “Alright then. Rest up! I hope I didnt tire you out much… Sorry for tickling you, I know that you hate it…” Now is the perfect time “Acctually, I have something else to tell you…” He fully turned his whole body to me. Goah, I hate him so much. Why has he got to put me in such vulnerable position? “ I… accualy, its nothing…” not today, not when hes got full attention on me like that. “NO! Tell me, pleaseeeee! Dont make me tickle it out of you again~~” That made me extra scared and all my courage was gone. “I-Its accualy about that…” “What? Tickling?” “Yeah…” “Sorry, I promised I wouldnt tickle you anymore. You dont have to tell me aswell, take your time.” Gosh, can he stop saying the word? Hes so sweet its annoying. “No, I-I want to tell you now. And it is about… T-tickling.” He did that thing again, where he turned his whole body and soul to me, it was scary. Seemed like he could hear my heartbeat. “Well, I… acctually dont hate it. I like it a lot. But I cant take it. And s-sometimes youre a bit too rough.” “Oh…” “Sorry, you probably think Im disgusting or something. I promise its nothing dirty or naughty like your probably thi-“ “ No! None of that! Even though I wouldve never guessed that you like it… I dont find it disgusting, at all. Its cute, very cute acctually.” “You think so?” “Of course! Now, prepare yourself because you basically just asked to be tickled.” He definetly knew how much I dreaded that word and was taking advantage of it. “Beg.” “What?” “Beg to be wrecked by your favourite tickle monster.” At this point I was probably as red as a tomato. “P-please t…t-tickle me…” “Good enough” He lowered his head and started nibbling on my lower stomach and I lost it. He was beeing painfully gentle, probably remembering me pointing out his roughness. I grabbed on his hair and desperately pulled. “Ow ow ow ow OW! Innie, youre gonna have to keep your arms further away from me!” He grabbed my arms and pulled them to my sides.” Keep them there. Now, you understand that Im going to have to pusnish you, yeah?” “Buhuhut I cant keep my arms there!” “I dont care, if you dont, Ill be more gentle” I liked it gentle, but not too gentle, and Gosh did Chan know how to get extra gentle. It would be so painful, worse than rough tickles, which says a lot. So, I try to keep my arms in place as he nibbles the sensitive skin on my abdomen.

He was doing pretty good, too good at holding his arms in place, giggling hysterically, but keeping himself pretty still. “CHAHAHAHAHAN HYUHUHUUHNG PLEHEHEHEHAHEHHEAHSE” He begged and grabbed my hair again. Succes. Raspberries always get him. “Oh no! Was I being too rough? I should be more gentle, yeah? Thats ok, Ill be more gentle~” I loved teasing Innie so much, he would always get so red and shy. I knew I was being mean, taking advange of his weaknesa- rought tickles and using againts him, but in a much more flustering way. He hates rough tickle because he cant take much of them, but extremely gentle tickles are much more agonazing — its just constant anticipation and fear. I start off incredibly gently right in the middle of his stomach “Chahahaniehehe pleheheahahse!” I gently drag my finger around his navel, never bothering to acctually dip it in. I know how much he hates(loves) it. I slowly drag my finger along his side and onto his ribs “ChahaAHAnieEHEhe hyUHUHuhung” He giggles more agressively as I gently poke my finger deeper into his flesh every few seconds. I know how much hes waiting for me to just wreck him. Ive been saving up his energy for the grand finale. “Ready I.N?” “YEHEHES please!” I poke him a couple more times before finnaly diving in. “OHOHOHO MAHAHA GOHOHOD CHAHAHAANA AHAHHAHSNSBA” I start by squeezing his sides rapidly. I switch spots quickly purely for his enjoyment. “CHAHAHAHAN!!” “ Yes, Innie baby bread?~” I ask as I count his ribs, while he desperately tries to stop his arms from disturbing me “GEHEHEHET MY LEHEHEGSS HAHAHA” I can tell that he cant take it for much longer, thats why wants me to switch spots quickly. His thighs are incredibly sensitive, so I start of with them, mercilessly squeezing the firm mucle behind his leg and the front of it, switching quickly so that he can expierience as much joy as quickly as he can. “AHAHAHAHAHAHA KNEHEHEHHES PLEAAAHSHEJDJJEJHA” I quickly listen to his command and rapidly attack his kneecaps, squeezing the top and back at the same time. “STOPSTOPSTOP ENOUGHAHAHAHAHAH” I inmeadiately stop and gently, but not gently enought to torture him rub his whole body. His cute dimply smile plastered on his face that I missed so much. “Anytime you want to repeat this, just tell me the keyword “tickle”, if youre capable of that~~” He was still laying there, panting, but I could see his cheeks reddening up at my words. “I will make sure to…” He whispers shyly. I figured that he may need a moment to think about what happened, so I quietly exited the room.

This was the most flustering yet enjoyable expierience ever. However if he dares to tell anyone about this…

Maybe it wouldnt be so bad, considering all the gang tickles I would get.

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

——————————————————————

This is my first tickle fic ever. I know the build up is very long, sorry. 🙂

[battiegutz]

AUTISM TIME

ok so i got a few of the blind box gen7 pets today and i originally i was only gonna use one for a custom but im considering customizing all of them and infact im going to do a full review below

disclaimer: i am giving an honest review of these. my wording might appear harsh or whiny at some points but i am just trying to honestly review them. i am still very happy that lps are returning to these molds. also pls keep in mind that i dont currently have any authetic gen2 lps to compare them to rn, so my comparison is mostly based off my memory of them and the bases i have that are modeled after them

okay im gonna seperate this into categories bc i love lists im list boy. nvm dont call me that. ok

Appearance&design: even from first glance you can tell these are different than gen2, the og. the colors are way more saturated and dont get me wrong i love bright colors but for example the spaniel and ox? bull? both have "nuetral" colors aka brown in this case, but theyre very saturated to the point that both just look orange and its not very appealing at all. the caterpillar is ok, the green isnt too loud and pairs well with the yellow, and the otter's pastel pink isnt too bad either. however. a thing with these new lps is instead of the personality eye shines they can have personality markings on them. now this isnt necessarily a bad idea, and i can see it being quite cute is done well, but unfortunately this idea is not well executed. the markings look slapped on and out of place and because theyre only on certain pets it looks especially strange. on top of that, the paint job on these is not the greatest. i wouldnt normally be so critical of this, but considering everything else wrong with them, well. anyway. there are scuff? and paint marks on quite a few spots on all figures, though the otter seems the least blemished. the worst offender of a bad paint job is the ox. the muzzle is a splotchy and uneven attempt to call back to the airbrushed markings of old and the paint around his horns and hair is wildly uneven. not to mention how his hooves are not a different color than the rest of his body, which looks especially strange with the stark white horns. additionally, whatever sealant or plastic or whatever they used for the bulls hair feels greasy somehow? the mold for the ox is very cute tho :3 the color difference between the head and body on them isnt that bad, and can easily be overlooked, though it is worst on the caterpillar. the designs overall could be improved with at least some of the pets having more grounded colors and reworking the personality markings, maybe something like a small star on the bottom of a foot or a little cheek mark? ive spent enough time in this section lets move on

Quality: it is immediately obvious these are made of worse material than gen2. this is a problem in all modern toys though, so i dont particularly blame them for it. however, the ox head is bad. while all the toys seem to have a bit of give to the heads theyre not super squishy. the ox head is. because of how squishy the head is, it seems his nose bridge is caving in? it looks indented is what im saying. the texture of them isnt too bad but they feel noticeably worse than even my fake base ones i bought (shoutout to CustomLShop on ebay, the bases arrived super fast and were in excellent condition aswell as very nice packaging with even some bonus stickers :3) the caterpillars antennae are a little too flexible, im worried they might snap. there are very visible lines on the spaniel and the ox where the body mustve been in multiple pieces before being assembled. another thing is that while the heads do bobble mostly fine, they have a lot of trouble turning, theres resistance if even tilt the head, and it feels very strange. once again the otter seems to be the highest quality out of the ones i got, but it still has the same problems.

Price: i get that everything is expensive these days, but i feel it wouldve been more fair based on the quality if the individual boxes were around 2 dollars instead. it wouldve also been nice it there was a deal if you got the whole box set. also it seems that employees have been throwing away the bonus pet in the box when the box is empty of blind boxes, which is a shame because the bonus pet is a nice idea, but i think its not a great idea to have her on the box for the blind boxes as people are a majority of the time buying only a few individual boxes, so she gets left there as she looks like shes just part of the display

Final verdict: if you love lps or just arent concerned abt minor quality changes, go ahead and get em!! there are many problems with these but theyre still very cute and its awesome to see them coming back in the style i remember from my childhood :3

ok my energy is dwindling bc we also went grocery shopping (sensory overload city). i think? i covered everything i wanted to so. yea :3 lmk ur thoughts btw nd would also love to hear frm ppl who have also bought th blind boxes and your thoughts on them

also as far as customizing them i think ill stick to just repaints of them to preserve their design atleast a bit :3 tho th spaniel is an exception i hav big plans fr her lol

[webginz]

i had the worst shower ever. i was like, tripping out. reminded me of my "episodes" i had in middle school. just like voices and not knowing where i am. and not being able to get back to reality.

well now im on my way to the dentist, theres no way in hell they wont be able to notice i was just crying. (from fear of going to the dentist, not from the shower thing lol)

im so scared :(

[took out a part here but it was just about stress and disordered eating things from this morning]

then i got to the dentist and it sucked. long dentist story ahead

okay dentist. everything that couldve gone wrong, went wrong.. i tried acting normal, and we had small talk or whatever like normal dentist x ray stuff, but she could instantly tell something was wrong with me, i guess.

she gave me a health form to fill out. i was still chill and this point and was like oh yeah i have blood pressure problems but its only if im up moving around!! so not doing that at the desntist hehe amirite?! i also checked anxiety and i think thats what she wanted. just personal confirmation everything was gonna go wrong.

after she learned i had anxiety, she was nice, too nice imo... like i was a child. im okay with that though i guess. (i mean.. she could definitely tell i was just done crying)

she was like "the xray blanket is heavy and could help with ur anxiety" BUT I WANTED IT OFF AND COULD BARELY TALK SO I JUST NODDED. it made me feel so overwhelmed immediately. THIS IS WHERE EVERYTHING STARTED GOING BAD

im also just constantly aware of my hair and when you lean back on the stupid dentist seat my hat falls off. its like LOOK THE FREAK WHOS SCARED OF THE DENTIST AND PULLS OUT ALL HER HAIR!!

whatever. so there i am on the dentist chair. bald spots for the world to see. xray blanket sensory overload. sunglasses on top of my regular glasses. but im pushing through.

she starts using the tool on my teeth. a metal vibrating thing that sounds like a drill. my worst most awful fear is high pitched drilling noises. if im in a good mood i can put up with them for a bit, but obviously todays not that day. i try not to freak out, but she notices and asks if im okay and im like "yah" (with tears)

but then my mom comes in and shes like "can you not do it a different way?!?!" "shes freaking out" and just making everything WORSE. (used the chaos here to get rid of the dumb xray thing)

ive been on and off hyperventilating through all of this btw... i heard one of the dentist ladies say "shes crying and breathing really fast..." which was like. kill me now please god.

so back to my mom asking "can you not just do it a different way?" they do have a different way btw. without the scary machine! but then dentist lady says "she used this machine the last 2 times she was here? we dont have enough time to do it manually." (proof i was just having a bad day and i totally can be normal!!! but hearing this made me feel awful like i could feel all the dentists were thinking "she did it fine last time why is she carzy today?!?")

she then asked to step away to find the MAIN dentist lady.

at this point i was crying shaking hyperventilating and felt like i was gonna throw up from nervous energy. also my mom is pestering me a bunch (shes concerned but making everything worse, her hearts in the right place tho ily mom)

so big boss dentist lady is here. she says she looked at the xrays (from the beginning, remember?) and i have A GAZILLION CAVITIESSSSSS!!!!!

she says for my dental things from now on i should go to a SEDATION DENTIST!!!!

i was so out of it i didnt even know what to say. well now i do!!!

im not usually that scared. i was having a VERY BAD morning.

the dentist i go to now is all women. the sedation dentist is a MAN, that none of the women there had ever met. I HAVE TO GO MEET A MAN TO SEDATE ME SO I CAN BE ALONE WITH HIM? SO HE CAN DO MY TEETH? i might have a silly joking tone to this post but with this im being so serious. im scared as hell that thats just gonna end with me being raped.

i dont like male doctors/dentists/anything and always have my mom with me when i have to. there was a female assistant when i had my endoscopy and female nurses when i had my surgery. i dont want to be alone, asleep, in a room with a man i dont know. JUST BECAUSE IM SCARED OF THE DENTIST???

god i keep seeing stuff in the corner of my eye as im writing this. i think my psychosis is coming back for some reason.

every things going wrong today and forever

pls like/reply this post if you read it all im sorry for my ranting

[firstdivisiongirl]

hi there <3 I’m hoping that you would be able to do a tokyo revengers matchup for me if its still open :)

my name is Samantha <3

my pronouns are she/her!

my personally type is ENFP!

my zodiac sign in virgo!

if i had to say what alignment i am, it would be chaotic neutral LMAO

im 5’7, slightly on the curvy side. i have long-ish, black curly hair and brown eyes. i wear round, black glasses. i have a couple of pierces and tattoos!

if you go on Pinterest and look up “Tumblr aesthetic 2014 grunge” and that is my dream aesthetic if i wasn’t so lazy - i only wear leggings and hoodies…

my favorite anime right now is Tokyo Revengers <3 also slightly obsessed with hazbin hotel and helluva boss

the games that my friends and i have played / play are - Twisted Wonderland and Obey Me

i have one cat and one dog <3

my favorite food is sushi! i also LOVE DR. PEPPER <3333 its like BAD

i feel like i dont have that many hobbies because i work ALOT. my friends say that i am a workaholic :( when Im at work, i basically run around like the world is going to end if that task isn’t done in the next two seconds. i have the mind set of “if you want things done right, you have to do it yourself” - which stresses me out and idk why I am like that HAHA

but when im not working, i love to write for my friends - mostly it will be about whatever fandom that we are into at the moment. (tbh i never end up finishing the stories because i get lazy haha).

my dream goal in life is to write angsty romance novel - like enemies to lovers (which is my FAVORITE TROUPE) and become an author.

as well, I am IN LOVE WITH MUSIC! every year that my Spotify wrap comes out my friends are SHOOK about how many different genres, artist and amount of time i listen to music for. for example, this year i listened to 75 different genres, 2,864 songs and 1,595 different artist!!

my top artist were : Pierce The Viel, Taylor Swift, Chase Atlantic, Rosenfeld, and Fall Out Boy :)

my top songs were : emergency contact, habits, this is why im hot, cardigan, and ceilings <3

my top genres were : pop, pop : indie, pop punk, rap, and alt z (whatever that is LMFAO)

this year i listened to : 32,897 minutes

my favorite thing to do is make playlist based on shows and characters to show my friends about how I feel <3

ive been told that i look very intimidating and mean, but once you get to know me im an uwu baby. that im very down to earth and emotional. but i make friends very easily - considering people have told me even though i look mean but i have an inviting aura which draws them in.

i’m pretty extroverted lol i make friends wherever i go and always see people i know whenever im out

i have a hard time expressing myself verbally. that whenever i try to tell someone how i feel about something, i start to get tongue-tie and stressed and upset. probably cause i feel too much at the same time :( so what i end up doing is just writing out how i feel and showing them (which is kind of rare lol)

but when Im talking about something that i love - Iiget loud LMFAO I start to talk with my hands more than i already do, i start talking very fast. then when i noticed that im doing that, i stop and apologize for being annoying HAHAH

my friends call me a tsundere (only applies with anime characters - not IRL people) because there will be a character that i cannot stand at first and then i will start to slowly like them and be VERY MEAN AND ANGRY ABOUT IT. eventually that character will turn into one of my favorite characters and i love them with all my heart - but will still be mad about it.

but tbh i’m such a hopeless romantic! if we’re dating i love you with all my heart.

my love language are : quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation. i will want to spend all my time with you. i am a very touchy person. words of affirmation is very important to me because i am very self conscious about basically everything about me *sigh* BUT IM TRYING TO WORK ON IT <3

SORRY I FEEL LIKE I WROTE SO MUCH! SORRY IF NONE OF THIS MAKE SENSE LOL

i hope you have an amazing day! stay cool

Hi there. I can’t stay cool because I’m not cool lol. It makes sense and it’s not too much. The more info the easier it is to find your perfect match. Idk how far you are in Tokyo Revengers. Let’s do this and I hope you enjoy.

You Got…

Kokonoi Hajime!!!!

He loves romance. (If you’ve seen season 3 you kind of get it). Love is something he really wants. And when he falls, he falls hard!

He works a lot too, so don’t worry about him getting mad at you.

He is patient and kind of a sweetheart. He wouldn’t get annoyed by your hand talking and getting passionate.

He’s been good friends with Inui (Inupi, Discount Sabo, etc. Boy has so many names lol!!!!), who does express himself much. He’d be able to figure it out and help as much as he could (his solution probably would include money).

He’d tell you he appreciates and loves you as much as he can. He can be a little emotionally constipated. He’ll probably also buy you stuff to show how much he cares.

If you love a character or band, expect lots of merch from him.

He’d love to hear your stories, especially angsty romance. He’s kind of an example angsty romance so…yeah.

I think you two would have similar music tastes and idk why. If he isn’t a Swiftie, I don’t know anything anymore.

[foxboyclit]

im coming up on my 2 year t-aversarry so here's some assorted feelings on that (put under a cut because i didnt expect it to get this long oops)

first off, im hoping i don't get sick again so i can actually have a tea party to celebrate. even if its a little after the actual date i wanna do something

it looks like i cant grow anything more than some light whiskers but i never wanted a huge lumberjack beard anyway and i still get to shave regularly which is very euphoric. im a little disappointed though because ive always wanted a full beard

body hairs been really good though! its filled out nicely on my arms and legs and i have a full happy trail i am so so happy about that

my doctor said she noticed my shoulders had gotten more broad, which ive heard wasn't possible but apparently it is! and i see it myself too. she said i have more of an inverted triangle shape now, and it makes sense because ive noticed my hips shrink significantly. now apparently i wasn't very curvy to begin with but dysphoria makes me see things that aren't as prominent i guess

its also almost a year since my period stopped and i feel so much better having my emotions and energy levels at a constant state. i never have to think about whether i forgot to bring pads i haven't had cramps in MONTHS it's wonderful. i will say, ive noticed cis women are more comfortable talking about their periods around me and it's a mixed bag of emotions. im glad i give off that vibe that it's okay to talk about it but i feel bad saying "yeah im glad mine stopped" or "this is what i used to go through" which is the most i can relate to now so im kind of...sad? to not be able to talk about it? but also when i did menstruate i hated talking about it to anyone other than like. two specific people. idk

my voice is leveling out more, it still cracks but not as much as it did i feel like just a few months ago? still not where i want it but im getting closer and i love when my voice cooperates and is deeper without those cracks. ive gotten compliments on my voice too when i use my lower register! idk if the majority of people read it as masculine or even androgynous but i like compliments

still getting constantly misgendered, no matter what im wearing but im used to it. at least all my family, friends and coworkers respect my pronouns

ive been dressing a lot more feminine than i anticipated. but im having fun with it! its okay if im actually more feminine presenting than fluid like i previously thought. but also i could have another big swing in the opposite direction. i feel comfortable and stylish either way so im welcoming whatever changes

the gender fuckery of facial hair, flat chest and skirt has been *chefs kiss*

my t levels are on par with cis men! just knowing that makes me smile. estrogen is still high but it wasnt a concern with the doctor so im mostly okay with it

my libidos leveled out nicely, it's still a lot higher than before t but its not as intense as when i first started. adjusting to it has been pretty easy and im happy with where it currently sits.

body acne has mostly gone away! and i haven't had any massive breakouts or changes in my skin!

i swear to god i went down at least a cup size. its been waiting for the right time to pursue top surgery a hell of a lot easier. i always felt like if i had a smaller chest i wouldnt necessarily need top surgery, and i still want it but im more content with my chest now

i think all in all ive had to adjust my expectations for how id look by now, maybe its the dosage or genetics or aforementioned high estrogen or it just hasn't been long enough but i always expected to look more masculine this far in. it's still something i have to deal with from time to time but ultimately im happy with my body and im more okay taking this slowly than i anticipated

i dont have a conclusion for this other than wow. testosterone is one hell of a drug

[skyartworkzzz]

@auravs YO IDK WTF IS UP WITH TUMBLR BUT IT SOMEHOW DELETED UR ASK SO IM PINGING U TO ANSWER,,,

Heres my replies Ive tried more than 3456789 times sending, hope it didnt spam or smtng and the site was actually trolling me 😭:

OKAY SHIT FIRST OFF THANK U SO MUCH!! Rlly appreciate ur support,,! 😭💜

NOW, My Personal guide for begginer artists:

1. Try to copy arts u find online or even from medias u enjoy! (comics, cartoons and etc)

On each drawing u copy u will notice u have learned smtng new! So from there, try to draw an image by urself without any reference, and once u have an idea of how the artstyle u want works Personally, Id copy many anime images with similar art styles to then try and make pieces of my own!

NOW ITS IMPORTANT TO NOTE: it is not wrong to redraw images for PERSONAL and LEARNING purposes. What Would be wrong of u is to post it around claiming that You were the original creator of the image and not crediting the original one/the artist responsible for it

So as long as u aint stealing anyone's work, ure fine!

2. Use guidelines and shapes when drawing!

They are very important when beggining to understand anatomy! Ofc u dont have to draw All the lines detailed-ish, but at least to an extent in which u can see what is going on

So les say for example u want to draw a human body: u will have to understand that the top of the head is a circle, that the neck has a cone-ish shape, that the chest follows the form of a ribcage and so on It may vary from artist to artist, but if ure struggling to draw smtng specific, try seeing a shape on it to then make ur job easier! The body has to become a literal puzzle to ur eyes

However, I will advise u to plz not let these limit u. Indeed, as a begginer u have to learn how normal anatomy works, but its totally fine to change that depending on what artstyle u choose!

3. CONSISTENCY IS A SCAM!!!!

DO NOT WORRY IF UR ART DOESNT LOOK AS RECOGNIZABLE ON EVERY PIECE, I myself have only learned this recently and seen many other artists getting unmotivated cuz of this, but consistency truly does not exist. Whatever u do with ur art is nothing but ur RANGE. Its all the knowledge u have on it which makes u produce many pieces in different styles, and that is awesome!!

As an artist, u will always be learning smtng new, and what u learn cannot be un….learned (if that word exists IUSDNJKADLS) so its bound to show in ur work

4. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACT-

NEVER STOP DRAWING!!!! Like Ive said beforehand, u are ALWAYS learning smtng new!! Everything u draw is progress!

So no matter how bad u may think the things u do look, just remember that theyre likely looking MUCH better than the thing u drew yesterday

Art takes time to reach a level in which u feel comfortable and proud with how u do it, so its important to be patient and keep on practicing if u rlly want to get better at it!

Since u are a begginer, and if u have the time/motivation, Id suggest doing a doodle here and there to start picking up the habit to draw often. It is much easier to learn and less tedious once ure used to it and, ofc, enjoying it!

HOPE THESE ARE HELPFUL,,,, once again, they are based on my own experience thus far and some things I wish I knew back there………

AS FOR THE AU: ILL ANSWER THAT IN MY NEXT POST CUZ TUMBLR IS BEING A BITCH, amma ping u for my response if u dont mind so heads up,,,

[yuukei-yikes]

What are your thoughts on whatever tf is going on between Kano and Shintaro post-str?

HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEH OK LISTEN TO ME

kano is so in love with shintaro its embarrassing like ive reread the novels recently and girl.... hes down so bad its so embarrassing fgkjfdghjkfdghjhgnkjdhgkjdkj like post str shintaro has all this tomfoolery going on with ayano right. and kano...oh my god like.

kano finally got everything he wanted. everything he worked so hard for and acted kind of an ass for is here and now he's just like...left with all this self hatred and guilt bc hes like damn i shut out my siblings and dealed with all this myself and was a dick to this guy who wasnt even knowingly related to all this shit and i. got away with it? like i got everything i wanted? my sister is back? so he's just VERY depressed and feels so undeserving and guilty

everyone else is like in a relationship or whatever (im not a fan of when every single character has a love interest but damn kagepro does romance so fucking well has anyone ever noticed. anyways) and eventually before he realises it kano is living on his own and he's just generally so lost and without purpose and augh *dies* WAIT THIS WAS ABT KANOSHIN

sry i cant talk abt a ship if i dont talk a lil bit abt the characters themselves. like ok kano has All That going on and ON TOP OF IT.... HE LIKES HIS SISTER'S BOYFRIEND. THE SISTER HE'S BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO NOT LET GO OF ALL THIS TIME. THE SISTER HE'S SO INSANELY HAPPY TO HAVE BACK. so of course that makes him spiral down into guilt even more. shintaro and kano are sort of madeup too bc ok i know in the Good End we dont rly see moments like in the novels like kano coming clean abt clearing eyes or disguising himself as ayano but i like to think these moments happen at some point anyway. so going by this kano and shintaro ARE on good terms, shintaro has forgiven kano, he's all cute smiling to him and kanos like AUUUGHHH. and sort of. reverts back to being a little bit of a dick to him.

not super directly but sort of how he was at the beginning, acting how he acts with everyone but there's like a Vibe. shintaro notices and hes like damn i thought we were ok but ig its because im dating ayano and he's overprotective. and that's rly part of the reason too!! shintaros relationship with ayano is sososo messy so kano is so ANGRY because this asshole is out there making his sister cry!!! idiot bitch!!! BUT ALSO HE STILL LIKES HIM

i think when shintaro and ayano have Their Break kano and shintaro have a fucked up little thing that neither would qualify as a relationship bc both are busy hating themselves but like. they definitely kiss you know what i mean. that pic that's like we both have problems that making out won't solve but it can't make it any worse (except it does because this is so fucking messy KANO IS SHINTARO'S (EX AT THE TIME I DONT THINK HE'D CHEAT)GIRLFRIEND'S BROTHER. THAT SUCKS SO BAD FOR HER) also shintaros internal homophobia etc etc etc. lol a fucked up moment of shintaro practicing apologizing to ayano with kano disguising himself as her bc hey i need to practice while looking at her face. and its so messed up for them both. theyre the worst

when shintaro and ayano are back together he would tell her while kano would take it to his grave and augh it brings drama between ayano and kano which is exactly the last thing kano would ever want and hes so mad at shintaro. ayano isnt rly mad she's just surprised and worried for kano, because she doesnt rly see it as omg so fucked up my brother likes my bf she rather sees it like my brother is in pain and currently suffering from unrequited(?) love i need to help him!! and starts kind of helicoptering over kano and eventually kano has a breakdown etcetcetc i dont have an ending for this but these are basically my thoughts lol

ofc there's also shintaro just dates both and/or doesn't get back together with ayano... those are also good options that i like too heh

[goremet-chef]

HI i just got back from a like. 7 hour gaming session of the forest and SHITT MANN (RAMBLE)

we had a few goals, one was to put up spike walls for our upper base, n then another was to finish just small furniture things

the main one was to go to the caves and get the schematics cuz i wanted a glider. we GOT IT and it was all good and we made em but MANNN

my throat started to be like? TIGHT? feeling horribly paranoid and on edge for 7 hours straight will do that to you i guess

we went to the village for cloth and then fucking megan was there and i was like HM theres a PROBLEM leave now so we ran and listen

I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION that if you SLEPT they just despawned. my impression was incorrect ofc, when you sleep they just move a bit farther away

so.... we went back assuming she was gone and man! she was not gone! i pretty much made direct eye contact with her and my friend is so. SHE. the way like.. WHAT IF I DIDNT KNOWWWW

anytime i see somethin im like PROBLEM theres a problem theres an armsy, cowman, WHATEVER but no she has a sort of. freeze and then flee rresponse, so she saw megan and then saw it start to chase me and ran, said nothing which. GOOD THING I WAS PAYING ATTENTION.

i made some really interesting noises cuz i thought she was RIGHT on my tail like i kept hearing a weird whipping noise and i just thought it was over for me man. literally my friend was shocked cuz like.. IVE MADE SOME WEIRD NOISES WHEN IM SCARED ALRIGHT

being chased in horror games is one of my favorite like... TO ME thats the scariest thing i hate chases they mentally overwhelm me to the point where when im watching someone play a game and their getting chased, i have to pause the video every 3 seconds because i physically cant handle how stressed it makes me SKFJS

so... imagine that but its me and there is no pausing!!!!! horrible awful

we antagonized her a bit and lured her around cuz. for SCIENCE i needed to get close to this creature and hear how she sounded, so i know what to listen for

she despawned eventually which sucks cuz it was right when i was gonna call upon my monster hunter skills and kick her ass but no she vanished (scared obviously)

THAT WASNT THE END THO, no of course not.. so we built our house in the same exact spot markiplier and his friends built theres. it looks pretty similar too (rock walls, 3 doors, you get it) and last time we played, we branched upwards to the area above us. so we built proper walls and weve got 3 cabins up there for each of us and its cute its our little base with our other watch towers

i hate it up there!!! actually despise it, cuz of how the trees are and the hill its hard to see incoming threats, and we tend to log up there for convenience so. ITS EVEN WORSE when im trying to track several things with my ears at once. gotta listen for deer so i dont get scared, gotta tune out my friends chainsaw (i never log with the chainsaw for this reason, i need my ears so bad when im playing horror/survival games KSJFS), gotta listen for THREATS and look too im reallllll paranoid. IT SUCKS

last time we played, we got wormed, i didnt even see it because i was just hanging out up top finishing our walls and this bitch said "WORM." and she had ALREADY ziplined down to our main house since the cabins werent done yet. i was HORRIFIED because i didnt hear a damn thing!!!! i know worm is quieter but.. when SHE notices something before i do, something has gone wrong KSFJSF so.. it spawned behind, i forgot we had a zipline and threw myself (successfully) down the mountain by habit and i saw little worm bits fall down behind me before i quit the game

THIS TIME, it spawned behind her, and right in front of me while we were going to place the tower for the gliders

literally just glooped up from the ground i didnt even realize what i was looking at at first?? and i was like ah! WORM and we left the game so fast (we dont want that smoke hush)

but we got paranoid because. last time it spawned, she saved and THEN left, so it despawned and that was our worm spawn of the month right

but this time we both just LEFT so i was worried maybe it didnt save the spawn and it would spawn again, yknow? so bottom image is us both hiding up in the towers cuz i was. GENUINELY AFRAID TO TOUCH THE FLOOR

i thought it would just. POP UP BEHIND ME. i think we got really unlucky. cuz i dont think its meant to spawn AT US yknow? like i dont think its programmed to spawn where we are on purpose, its jsut really unlucky that BOTH TIMES it was RIGHT UP HERE SKFJSFS

thats why i hate it up here, its worm hell!!!!! fuck all that

its fine tho we did it, we made our gliders and flew around a bit it was fun

it sucked cuz like... we needed cloth and her cloth things were kinda bugged? cuz they werent respawning for her so.. IT WAS ALL ON ME and i HATE going anywhere in the forest. limited visibility, too far from the water, its all bad man

and the last few times!!! once was a cowman, 2nd was megan twice!!!!!!! so i was so fucking reluctant to go grab them but the last time we went, we put on our paint, we were careful (also i told this mfer i said bestie i need you to be my eyes while im trying to look for cloth and she said okay o7 and i turned around and shes like all the way down the hill not looking for me 💀💀)

we went in and got everything and no one even showed up!!! man i was nervous tho kSKFJS so we go it, finished our gliders and flew

overall, horrible day! everytime i got scared like when i was being chased my heart wouldnt even just drop, it would SEIZE UP it legitimately HURT

only good part is i realized i wanted to recreate my cabin in sons of the forest cuz i could put on overhang over my patio like i wanted to (mine is the house with the red icon)

anyways im fucking exhausted and i need to destress so im gonna keep writing my story lmao

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Dirk Strider

Meat, page 39

JAKE: DIRK!!!

DIRK: Hey Jake.

JAKE: Well isn’t this a heap of shillelaghs and shamrocks!

DIRK: Uh...

JAKE: I had no idea you had plans to visit my humble abode!

JAKE: To swing about the ole manor du chez ingles as they say.

DIRK: That’s three different fucking languages.

JAKE: So what brings you here pal?

JAKE: I seem to recall the last time we were bumming about the rumpus cabana you swore some sort of blood oath youd never set foot in here again with one of your customary dramatic flourishes.

DIRK: Yeah, well.

DIRK: I meant it at the time.

DIRK: Let’s just leave it at that.

JAKE: Okie doke!

JAKE: GOSH its so good to see you.

JAKE: SO good.....

DIRK: Listen, man.

DIRK: You got a spare spaceship lying around?

DIRK: We’re going on a trip.

JAKE: Oh! I didnt even notice rose there.

JAKE: Wow she looks really zonked. Bad hangover i presume?

JAKE: Hold the phone wasnt she supposed to be off the sauce? Or is that not a thing anymore?

DIRK: It’s not a hangover. She’s just tired.

DIRK: Can you help us out?

JAKE: Of course mate. Ive got frickin scads of the things lying around.

JAKE: Prototypes. Top secret experimental models. Galaxy class ball busters dogeared for the whiteshirts in the gubmint! ;)

JAKE: They pay some tidy coin for all this industrio military whatsit you know.

DIRK: Yeah, um.

DIRK: I don’t know, dude. Anything, really.

DIRK: Something fast.

JAKE: Fast! We can do fast.

JAKE: Heres one! Oughta do you splendidly.

DIRK: Thanks bro.

JAKE: So where are we going?

DIRK: Yeah, I thought this misunderstanding might happen.

DIRK: My bad, man. I wasn’t that clear up front.

DIRK: “We” aren’t going anywhere.

DIRK: It’s just me and Rose on this trip.

JAKE: Ooh! I see.

JAKE: Well when you live the married life i suppose from time to time one must get away from the old ball and chain one way or another.

JAKE: So its a stag night of sorts. In space. With a gay girl instead of a fella!

JAKE: And... not me.

DIRK: Yes.

JAKE: Gadzooks...!

JAKE: Well say no more then.

JAKE: So um... how long will you be away? Does kanaya know about all of these shenanigans?

DIRK: Yes.

DIRK: We’ve discussed it. She’s ok with it.

JAKE: Whew good to see theres no trouble in paradise. Theyve always had the most lovely marriage.

JAKE: On the other hand you know how those dames can be... rargh!

JAKE: There are times let me tell you how i feel like i dodged a bullet by not jumping the matrimonial broom with jane.

JAKE: I love her to death obviously and id do fucking anything for her especially now that shes EL PRESIDEÑTE!!

JAKE: Cripes... woo boy sometimes i can hardly believe how that sounds but it sure is what happened isnt it?

JAKE: Partly thanks to a humdinger of a speech by yours truly but... um... but WOW never mind THAT old saw!

JAKE: What im saying is... i dont know what im saying? We guys need to stick together sometimes and live our lives and not...

JAKE: Well. Play such ornamental roles in the lives of our important and powerful womanly counterparts dear to us though they be!

JAKE: I think maybe im saying we should hang out more dirk??

JAKE: No pressure i mean! When you get back from your extraterrestrial camping trip of course!

JAKE: Um...

JAKE: When did you say you were coming back?

DIRK: I won’t be coming back, Jake.

JAKE: Like

JAKE: Wait.

JAKE: You arent...

DIRK: Coming back.

DIRK: Ever.

JAKE: Ever???

DIRK: Yeah.

JAKE: But...

JAKE: I dont

JAKE: Why dirk?????

JAKE: Please...

JAKE: Please take me with you dirk.

DIRK: I can’t do that, Jake.

DIRK: It’s not within the parameters of the mission.

JAKE: But...!

JAKE: What mission!

JAKE: I... cant do this alone dirk!

JAKE: This life... this... whatever is happening now. Whatevers expected of me...

JAKE: I cant do it.

JAKE: Not without you!

DIRK: You’re going to have to, man.

DIRK: Jane needs you now more than ever.

DIRK: She has a tough road ahead.

DIRK: It’s hard running a planet, but she’ll whip it into shape.

DIRK: I trust her, and so should you.

JAKE: B-but!

DIRK: She needs you at her side.

DIRK: If all goes well, she’ll rule Earth C for millions of years, and you’ll be critical to that reign.

JAKE: But i dont know what to DO dirk!

JAKE: I dont know HOW to help someone rule!

JAKE: I wouldnt know the first thing about... strategy or advising or policy or...

DIRK: Uh, Jake. Nobody wants you to do any of that.

DIRK: Well, I know Jane sure doesn’t.

JAKE: Then... what...

DIRK: You’ll just be, you know.

DIRK: Her candy boy?

JAKE: CANDY BOY???

DIRK: Yeah. Being on call.

DIRK: Serving a multimillion-year term of giving her the right kind of “presidential action” she needs to keep going. To keep her morale up and such.

DIRK: To provide her with many heirs.

DIRK: Doesn’t that sound cool?

JAKE: HEIRS??

DIRK: Yeah, like. Kids. A lot of them.

DIRK: Think about it. You could have thousands of kids.

DIRK: They’ll all grow old and die, because they aren’t god tiers like both of you are.

DIRK: But you just keep having more.

DIRK: Sounds pretty badass to me. Like getting to live through your entire future family tree.

DIRK: To watch your own endlessly branching dynasty flourish.

DIRK: I’m almost a little jealous.

JAKE: NO!!!

JAKE: That sounds... DREADFUL!

JAKE: DIRK PLEASE!

DIRK: Time to man up, Jake.

DIRK: This is what your life is now. It’s only bad if you treat it this way.

DIRK: It’s actually fantastic. Someday you’ll get it.

JAKE: No dirk!

JAKE: I cant bear to let you go!

JAKE: Youve... youve meant so much to me my whole life!

JAKE: I probably did a bad job of showing that because im such a shitty blubbering fucking numbnut IDIOT!

JAKE: You dont think i KNOW im a fucking bonehead who no one respects!!!

JAKE: But youre all i have to keep me anchored to ANY feeling of true self worth i ever had!

JAKE: You taught me so much! Remember the old days in sburb dirk?

JAKE: Those days were the absolute BEES KNEES! Jesus christopher CLOWNCOCK dirk!

JAKE: You taught me... taught me about...

JAKE: Combat! Philosophy! Life! Love!

JAKE: LOVE dirk!

JAKE: I dont... im so bad with feelings... i never said it when we were together but i... i...

JAKE: i LOVE you dirk!

JAKE: I LOVE YOU!

JAKE: THERE I SAID IT I LOVE YOU!

JAKE: IVE NEVER LOVED ANYONE SO MUCH IN MY WHOLE LIFE!

JAKE: Dirk im BEGGING you just take me with you!

JAKE: Its... its fine! You dont have to love me!

JAKE: Im ok with that! Whatever you want!

JAKE: I just need to be with you! Near you! ANYTHING!

JAKE: I cant stay here! Please not without you!

JAKE: I want to be anywhere but here as long as its with YOU!!!

DIRK: I’m sorry, Jake.

DIRK: But I’ll never let you break my heart again.

[dawnowar]

Spending my Xmas days off cleaning the house

Went to get my annual eye exam today before the end of the year and my prescription hasn't changed which is cool because i have roughly 50 pairs of glasses now and I don't want to have to start over. Makes me want to buy more even though i clearly do not need more but that never stopped me before.

I was going to take myself out for chicken wings so i asked where the best ones are and then went there. It was a sports bar with a big "seat yourself" sign, so I did and promptly got completely ignored by everyone who works there. As i sat on the uncomfortable chair waiting for no one to take my order I noticed how much i hate this place and the crowd that came with it and the many blaring TV with football games on it, so I left and ordered wings from Sheetz from my phone in the parking lot which were ready in the time it took me to drive there and pick them up.

Ate wings with my cats on my comfy sofa in my own time which made me much happier. Got a good shake too for less money than it would have cost me at the sports bar and then i would have had to tip the waitress for giving me shitty service on top of it.

Yeah i know its Christmas Eve Day and a Sunday at that and maybe its not the best day/time to happen into a sports bar that's one of the places staying open for people to drink at on Xmas Eve but whatever. I had a shitty experience and I'm not sorry for leaving.

I'm doing laundry including all the various holiday themed outfits so i can put them away and the bedding and anything I've been meaning to wash and not getting to. I decluttered a lot of the living room and i have intentions of decluttering the bathroom and cleaning the kitchen before the holiday is over.

I have a frozen lasagne for dinner tonight and some texas toast. It's not a typical tradition but it's mine.

I've been sick for a couple of months. All normal stuff just one sickness after another. I havent been well for more than a few days before i get the next thing and i'm so ready to be well again but I didn't go out to the before-christmas parties and I guess im glad because it seems everyone got covid at a thing I skipped so I stopped feeling bad about not going out now I'm well enough to go out again.

In fact ive been collecting clothes and makeup and such. Online shopping while I've been sick for my return to going out again and i just havent gone out again. But its winter now and I ate too much between being sick and inactive and the holidays, i need to diet and exercise again for a bit i think before i get in some of these clothes.

I am expecting to go out for New Years Eve. I like to drink some champagne with strangers in a fancy dress for that holiday.

I have an idea where im going but i dont know what i will wear. But I have choices which is awesome.

I've been taking an estrogen/progesterone cream because I was having hot flashes due to menopause that was waking me up every hour and i was so tired from not being able to sleep properly.

This stuff had me sleeping great right away so I was totally into it but now I'm sleepy all the time even when I don't do anything and I'm cutting the dosage in half hoping that makes some difference.

Not sure what it'll do but im trying it now and not when i need to be at work all day in the morning in case I can't sleep. Last night i did the first half dose and I woke up hungry in the middle of the night but i didn't wake up with a hot flash so it was inconclusive.

I don't miss the hot flashes and I'm sure i'd rather be overtired from estrogen than sleep-deprived from lack of estrogen but hoping to find a happy medium where im not tired all the time.

I dont care a thing about Christmas but im happy to have these days off. We should get a bunch of days off every two or three months just because imho.

To catch up on what you need to catch up on and do Drs appointments and service your car and shit.

I pretty much gave up on 2023 a few weeks ago when I realized I basically wasnt going to be well enough to do any of the fun holiday stuff and I may as well just stay home and clean. I'm fine with all this. It needs to be done and the more I do the more I start to feel like I'm reclaiming my life as I am reclaiming my house.

So its time to fold and put away the laundry in the dryer and rotate in another load.

Happy Holidays.

[knucklegagging]

I know this is mostly an anorexia tumblr account but tbh I havent been really struggling w my anorexia lately. Found old emaciated pictures and I think thats a lot of the reason why. Side by side my highest weight and lowest weight one looks weak and the other looks sexy. And Like... I wanna live. If i can. Especially now. And maybe a lot of this is that I was dealing shit no one is ever supposed to talk about but I have never been fat. I have been big busted hourglass booty girl slimthicc milkshake walking cunstain looking barbie body. And I have been emaciated. Thats so weird to really notice for the first time in my twenties. And it's not like I've been actively wanting to die or anything intense like that, but I didnt know life could feel good. And lately it really does. And my set range right now is 111 to 116. Which is healthy, as is my bfp. So i get that this is an anorexia tumblr account primarily... But maybe it doesnt always have to be? Idk tonight just feels really good. The girl I like seems to like me. And by that i mean shes made it clear she does in more ways than one. And frankly ive been a migraine and she still around. Its been a lot to adjust to. I have not been an easy person for her to be around. At least, i know I would be tired of my anxiety bullshit by now. She has so much patience and kindess and goodness in her soul. I feel like I have known her before, almost like memories from a dream that you woke up from too quickly. The taste of thoughts percolate my mouth with painful dripping sighs that crave to know her better, like filling in the blanks. Theres something so different, so unmistakable about the way that she is.

I dont know how to comfort myself at times because I cannot be running away in the opposite directiom but sticking my heels into blue on the treadmill next to her is terrifying. I get these scared moments thinking that I am going to ruin everything in one fell swoop w one stupid comment or being too hyper, talking too much, saying shit she wouldnt care about, moving too fast, not moving fast enough, not being whatever it is she expects of me. ...but yet she just roll w the punches. I dont want her to know how inexperienced i am w relationships. I dont want her to know anything bad thats happened to me and have it sour the interest that she has in me. I'm like paranoid that somehow she would find this blog and see my thoughts spelled out even though ik she won't. That wouldnt happen. But out of nowhere sometimes I just get scared like she will wake up one morning and decide I am not good enough. That I am too autistic or I have too much of a past behind me. That I have already been defiled and that makes me too much drama. I cant say that sentence out loud. I can't say many if any things out loud. I am always writing them down for her.

I am terrified about how to play my sleeves. At some point she will probably see my arms or thighs if we continue to spend time w each other. How the fuck is that all supposed to play out? Do i pretend its nothing and just rip the bandaid off? Wear a tank top when i see her next? That sounds dumb. There is no way to gradually unveil my body in ways that are not jarring when you have as many scars as I do. I like myself fine I just sometimes notice how much i do not know and that can psyche me out. But today has been good. Tonight has been happy. I am very much okay today. I just wish time would move faster slowly, so that i can know how we end up so that i can have a road map. I want thw answers for how to behave so that i dont cause any problems for her. If i could read her mind, if i could see the future, if i could know now what i will know then about whether i am going to make her life difficult... I am so scared. I am so happy. But I am also so scared.

Whats gonna happen when I am really visible and she can really see me? I've done so well at being invisible. With her I dont want to be. But it is all unknown and I'm a big ol scaredycat

[yesimwriting]

Hi! I have been having an off day I’m kinda exhausted and anxious slightly snappy haha. I was wondering how would the darkling react to an anxious reader that he cares about. 😊

a/n ive been a little MIA but im working i promise!! i felt really apathetic about writing for awhile bc of some personal stuff but ive been trying to get back into it bc im genuinely happier when i write :)

--

- ok so i think how he reacts to an anxious person that he cares about depends on where you're at in the relationship,, which might be kinda a 'duh' but it needs to be said for how im setting this up lol

- bc if he's kinda just starting to figure out his feelings, i think he'd be so surprised by how much he cares that he has to hold back his immediate reactions, bc he may have his faults but he's def protective once he realizes something is affecting/hurting the person he sees as the sun

- that protectiveness stems from wanting to be what makes you happy, he wants to feel like he's your shelter so that he feels like he's good enough for you. He wants you to be happy so he can feel your warmth but he also really wants the redemptive feeling that comes from knowing that he's your protector in a way.

- he wants to protect and make you happy so bad, sometimes you need to be like 'umm...i really appreciate that you want to torture the person that bumped into me a little too hard on a bad day,, but maybe let's not??' especially if you are still in that phase where he kinda scares/intimidates you bc you know him more as the General

- not only are his more over the top reactions a little scary bc you don't want to offend him by not wanting to talk about it to avoid blowing the situation up,, they're also confusing

- bc you had no idea he cared if you lived or died let alone cared if you were nervous or not?? but sometimes it makes you feel really comforted, bc if someone as hardened as the darkling can care that much about how youre feeling than you can't be as awful as you're feeling

- and it's also comforting bc he's clearly strong and powerful and when he puts a hand on your shoulder and stares at you like you're the only tangible thing in the world and telling you that he's not going to let anything happen to you,, the rational part of your anxiety is appeased to say the least.

- alright but that's at like the first stage of the relationship for him, bc i feel like he def has like twenty stages he goes through before finally being in a committed relationship bc even though he wants an attachment and love so badly bc he hates his eternal loneliness, he has a lot of layers to work through before he feels secure enough in you as a person to risk vulnerability

- so if he's at the point where he's accepted what he feels for you,, but has yet to really act on it, this is where he starts to give himself away a little

- like you'll mention being stressed about training in the Little Palace, or not getting along with someone and he immediately jumps to encouraging you. It's kinda funny bc at first he seems like he's just trying to be a supportive pal bc at this point ur sorta friendly (at least more friendly than anyone else is with the darkling) but then he kinda losses himself in talking about how amazing you are.

- and if youre feeling anxiety/bad bc of someone in particular, you better not mention their name unless you're 100 percent sure you're furious at them.

- sometimes it causes some strain bc you don't necessarily want him to get involved, and he's not above lowkey guilting you into telling him the full story, but it's not really intentional. He just starts talking about how much trust he puts in you and you just let the little things go after making him promise to leave things alone.

- if your anxiety is general,, or just bc of a. bunch of little things and he's at a point in which he's accepted how much he cares about you but has not told you yet,, he'll try to hide how soft he feels, but sometimes he slips up.

- honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if a really big relationship milestone came from that.

- like you crying one night and the darkling finding you, and then him taking you back to your room and promising to stay so that you don't have to feel alone and then the next morning you wake up and he's holding you

- at first ur like ?? but he acts so normal you're like maybe that can be platonic? but then it starts happening more and more and neither of you mention it and then when you two finally do get together youre like 'ohh? im stupid'

- and if your anxiety comes from your worry about him?? wow--he'll have to stop himself from kissing you

- this is a man who is so used to being hated/feared that the concept of someone worrying about him so much they physically don't feel well?? that would hit him STRAIGHT in the chest, and he'd be so quick to pull you to him, and then you'd be like--are you ok??

- wouldn't be surprised if that's how you found out he had feelings for you,, like he'd say something like "i didnt know the brightest star in the sky could want to protect the darkness instead of banish it. You're the brightest light I've ever known, it was more than enough for me that you weren't repulsed by my darkness...and now..."

- anyways,, if you were already established together and you were anxious, he would have no need to hold back

- if he notices your hesitant to let him 'help' he might do a thing or two to reduce sources of your stress without telling you...which sometimes leads to you getting a little mad, but depending on how extreme his actions were, he normally smoothes it over quickly

- i mean,, it's just how he shows that he cares, he's never had someone that could snap their fingers and get rid of his adversaries or reschedule a thing or two to make his life easier

- he sees no harm in it,, and even though sometimes other people may give you a bit of a hard time bc of his evident favoritism,, you know it just means he cares

- if he goes really far, you're more willing to be mad at him, but honestly when youre upset all you want is to be near him bc there's nothing more comforting,, so you agree to hold off on arguing lol

- i mean there are always lines that get crossed, so there are times he cant charm himself out of your anger, but the longer youre together the more he tries to hold off on doing things that make you really angry,, unless he feels like the person really hurt you, then nothing can stop his anger

- if youre actually together he's much more quick to comfort you physically if youre feeling really anxious,, he'll kiss you everywhere until he's all you can think about, which works for when your anxious over small things

- if your problem is larger, he cant exactly kiss it away though i cant say that doesnt help but it's still comforting and relaxing bc duh,, so i feel like he's really touchy if youre upset

- kissing sometimes leads to other stuff,, but that should be its own fic/headcanon bc i have a secret head cannon that feeling needed or like the only one his partner has is a turn on for him bc it returns some of the power he feels like he gives up by letting his partner care about him

- might have to write that fic now that im thinking about it....

- if youre so anxious you dont want to be touched, it'll be a little harder for him, but if he reaches for you and you back away he'll try to talk you down and remind you that he's not going to let anything happen and as long as he's breathing he'll make sure you're okay

- if youre officially together and youre anxious about something small, he's actually surprisingly nice to talk to,, before you were close you felt like you were bothering him with small, insignificant things,, but once you know that he cares about you he's a patient listener bc he likes being really present with you when he can bc he's busy so often

- sometimes if youre worried or upset he jumps to anger towards the object of your distress before comfort, but once youre at the dating part, you know that that's just how he is, and anger is how he shows love in a way?? lol, so you just have to clearly tell him that you'd rather him stay with you then rush out and like smite someone, he'll stop and comfort you

- sometimes how much he cares makes him angry at himself bc he begins to question if he'd pick you/your happiness over his goal, if he can't convince himself that you'd never get in the way of that, he gets a little cold until he feels assured in his loyalties or at least assured in the fact that your happiness would never conflict with his goals

- that can happen at any point in your relationship,, i feel like it'd happen more when he's unsure about his feelings bc seeing how much he cares about someone that's nothing to him makes him want to banish his nerves

- overall though,, once he cares about you, whether he's fully accepted it or not, he'd burn the world down to make you feel okay again,, or stay in bed with you for awhile, or both--whatever you want, really