#dont think that im going on discord anytime soon.

[sugar-on-fries]

doodle bc im working on other things.

i did these at like 3am yesterday.

[banesberry-anomoly]

Meri Clefmas and Happy Holidays <3

Bit of a ramble below

Well it certainly has been a year, huh? Never in my wildest fuckin dreams would I have imagined I get here. But a little over a year of drawing whatever the hell I want, joining wayy too many scp discord servers, and surviving through several fandom dramas later, here I am

There were several points in the year where we broke down and thought we wouldn't still be here, but the comnections and friends Ive made here and quite literally been the thing keeping us going. We've found 2 wonderful qpps, and have survived our hellish ex with our partner, and without them honestly I dunno where'd Id be today. They keep me grounded emotionally, while creatively my heads in the sky. Hugging all three of you tight and sobbing

And as for the rest of yall, my friends, my mutuals, my oomfies, the people I occasionally see in my notes- just know everytime I talk to you, or recognize a name on my dash or in the tags, or see yalls art, it makes me incredibly happy. I know this fandom can be weird or toxic or ridden through with drama, but honestly this little corner I managed to carve out for myself is pretty nice. Its peaceful. If theres anymore big names that take a downfall then those that found refuge in their art and are frazzled are more than welcome here. Come, sit down on a pillow, we have hot cocoa and tea

And while I do plan on branching out more and posting for other fandoms, like TMA, just know Im not leaving this one anytime soon. It has quite literally changed my brain chemistry and we haven't been in a community quite like this one before, where the lines between author and fan blur pretty heavily. Its by the fans for the fans, and I think that's awesome. Im somehow friends with several big names in the community, and while I dont really consider myself one (at least yet), I hope that I can bring as much joy to as much people as they have been in the upcoming time Ill be here

So yeah, thank yall for everything and all the support and just finding joy in the things I do, it makes me estactic to know that just popping up on someones dash or drawing another persons oc or designs can make their day

Heres to a happy new year, one thats hopefully better than the last. Wishing yall a very good rest of the year, however you may be spending it

[ryuuka-balaen]

maybe not the best wording and explanation of things since im tired and copying from a discord ameoncement I wrote, but;

hi. i have a little issue.

the last 3 jobs i was supposed to go on got cancelled, not likely to get more work anytime soon because my work is seasonal and we are in the off-season now, had a job interview last week and got rejected,,

in short, im perhaps a little fucked, financially.

i'm looking into employment insurance and applying for more jobs that i may have applicable training for but for the moment im lookin pretty SOL, so I'm thinking about trying to pick up streaming full-time again and (hopefully) be able to get food, even if the bills cant get paid.

I'm not really sure what the best way to go about this is but I would appreciate input/feedback on what days/times are best for me to stream on, im likely looking at doing 5-6 days a week, 5-8hr streams. so ill need quite a lot of things to stream to keep it varied and entertaining

aside from that, the only other thing i can think to do immediately to try to improve my financial situation would be to start taking 3dmodelling commissions, but im lost on that in how to find commissioners and everything involved so while i will try, i dont think that's a very good option for me

to put numbers to it (canadian dollars), my credit card is at 15,500/16,000, I have 1,300 in my bank account, and it costs 1,500 to keep the lights on for a month not including food.

with employment insurance (66% of my average pay) i might be able to squeeze out 2 more months.

in not Urgently Asking For Donations (yet) but I'm worried. if anyone has anything to spare, even just a couple dollars would mean a meal that isnt instant noodles

https://streamlabs.com/ryuuka_balaen/tip

https://www.paypal.me/rlfencer

[starry-sky-orchestra]

Let's make smiles bloom, anytime, everywhere! (WONDERHOY~!★)

welcome to my blog! (or welcome back if you knew me before i went by this user)

name: christy or papu either is fine

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: pansexual omniromantic

i am certified the prettiest princess in the entire world. bow down to me or else you get the guillotine grrr

-pls use tone tags when ur talking to me it makes a big big difference!!!!!

-possibly neurodivergent

-uh i apologize a lot and im really sensitive so. uh. jus like reassure me a lot ig

-if you call me a dry texter i will literally block you. /j but srsly not every1 is the best at talking..

-i have an agere blog which is basically my alt so follow that one if u want too. or not.

DNI: proshippers, anti antis(?? idk what this means but i see this in a lot of profiles), freakstarries, whatever weird pjsk fans call themselves, basic dni criteria ykyk, if u think age regression is a kink. it isn't. go fuck yoursel- if you support Sara_mjrb/lord_sara_gaming or mizumi-kagaho

social time whoohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

discord: ask in dms

youtube: pan_pan_papu

tumblr: ur here already.

wattpad: coming soon?? maybe????????

fandoms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

project sekai

danganronpa (well. barely.)

anime in general but most of the subreddits on reddit fucking suck. theyre all either weirdos or homophobic (as in, i like yuri but yaoi is EWWWWW guys cant like guys!! i wld fuck alstolfo tho)

bubble guppies

rugrats

mewkledreamy

sanrio in general

im joining a lot of fandoms every day. too many to remember

parappa the rapper

cardcaptor sakura

mario

nintendo

animal crossing

shima shima tora no shimajiro

ojamajo doremi

little witch academia

idolmaster

ummmm im hypersexual so like im more. weirder. than other people

fanfic writer. kind of. i have 200 million fankids and i will write about them ALL

i am probably the only shima shima tora no shimajiro fan ever. like im being serious its not that well known out of japan

i like karaoke!!!!!! kind of! its fun <3

also. i am being serious about potty training being my special intrest. pls dont think im weird.

if u ever wonder why all my fankids are so young/why i usually draw pjsk characters younger than they acc are then. ur reason is here.

-my art is fucking ass. like seriously its so terrible its the worst thing you have ever see

-i love emukasa (pjsk ship) like so much. LIKE SO MUCH. THEY ARE THE BEST M/F PJSK SHIP RIGHT NEXT TO RUINENE AND TOUKOHA

-speaking of, if u dont like wxs m/f or vbs m/f dni. like imagine being pressed over two teenagers kissing. that is so silly. anyways most of my ships are m/f i dont know why i have a lot of m/m and f/f ships tho. there is no way you can convince me haruka kiritani is straight she is a girl kisser. same w airi.

-mahou shoujo has my heart and soul <33

-i love ken shiraishi. whoever made an's dad design i love you so much he is such a dilf bro

-professional shitposter

-this is rlly cringe to admit. but. im one of those fictional other people ig? my f/o is arisa mochida from the hit game idolmaster cinderella girls starlight stage

anyways my tags are

fanfics - fanfics. obvi.

ok thats it idk what else to write

oh damn i made this too long. anyways. heres my carrd. it looks better on phone.

ok goodbye

[triinitas]

MUNDAY: GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: bun or bunnie. always has been - started because i had an overbite that was uncannily like a rabbit's, my zodiac sign is the rabbit, and my auntie always called me "little rabbit" when i got to visit her at pow wow.

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: she/her is preferred but i don't mind they/them either.

MUSE NAME: zorah, demenia, and freiora.

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: i dont really mind ! discord is usually my fave but the it really doesn't matter to me. im just happy to chat with people wherever theyre most comfy :)

EXPERIENCE: i started rping a very long time ago, i think i was around 10 or 12? my step-aunt (?) introduced me to the world of writing and then rping and ive been at it since. that's just wrtten rp, too; i started playing d&d and other ttrpgs before that, introduced by my brothers.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: oh gosh i'm not sure what this is supposed to mean?? i guess para-style lit rp. the experience of essentially writing a story with someone is what i crave. its soooo rewarding.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: no rules, no age mentioned in them, witch-hunting/callouts for petty stuff.. anything that tends to disrupt the sense of peace i try to maintain in my little corner of this site. ive been around long enough to see some absolutely insane stuff happen - i was literally stalked as a minor due to someone acting crazy on this site - and i want to avoid that kind of thing at all costs.

PLOTS OR MEMES: yes yes yes. i love both. memes are always fun; the spontaneity is a blast. but im also a sucker for plotting - tbc, i don't mean like... we have to literally storyboard the whole dang thing or whatever, i just like knowing what the general premise/goal of the thread is going to be. it helps me keep up motivation.

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: it depends? i usually fall in the multi-para realm, but that doesnt mean novella length replies. sometimes, especially in casual threads or conversation based threads, i'll manage one decent paragraph and call it good. i rarely (unless doing crack or something silly) will only eek out a few sentences.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: whenever i have the motivation ! or less so motivation and moreso time. im an extremely busy person && real life always comes first for me. i'm in medical school, juggling that with a part time job, and trying to deepen my relationship (i think i may be getting proposed to soon?????) so that definitely takes precedence. my partner is a firefighter/paramedic and works 48+ hours a week so anytime i have with them is precious and when they're home i will always prioritize time spent with them.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: in small ways. i think it's normal to have characteristics shared. having multiple muses means i'm not really like any one of them, but certain traits i have are dispersed among them. i have the nerdiness and sweetness that demenia has (i try to at least!!!!), the ambition and "constantly working" that zorah shows, and frei was more inspired by my partner && is sort of an outlet for me to empathize with their chosen profession.

tagged by: @shdwtouch tagging: @accultant @grief-worn @ceruleanscarred @tamestray @likemosaic @dcviated && whoever wants to!!!

[dexaroth]

well if tumblr eventually implodes i go by dexaroth everywhere basically. links are in my pinned post

i dont think itll be instantly nuked like this anytime soon but if it does die ill move to mastodon again and probably put everything else in my (as of now very unfinished) neocities site bc i really dont want to go anywhere else.

i'm looking into coding a gallery to move off of deviantart and toyhouse tho i'll still have my accs there to browse n stuff but i wont post there anymore. also looking into get an rss feed working as well

mutuals can ask for my discord but mostly as a backup since i dont talk to anyone like ever. im the rat that lives with you in your walls but we dont see each other much ok. kiss

[frecht]

ok well. i saw the post about tumblr dying. i dont know how long it will take and also i'm dreadfully bad at talking online but mutuals if you want to continue parallel playing in the online sphere i'll put some of my other links here

https://canridauis.neocities.org/ (neocities -- i have a couple short stories up there and have been thinking abt uploading some art as well) (and here is my neocities profile also)

https://www.instagram.com/canridauis/ (my art instagram, where i only really post art and also have been trying to stay off of when im not posting but like. might as well put it here anyhow. it might become more professional in the coming years (typing with proper capitals and whatnot) since i do want to professionally go into illustration but it's better than nothing)

if tumblr does die i may just start sending all my rambles into the anonymous message server so perhaps one day you will send something right after i do and see my message.....? this is a stretch. but i do think everyone should use this website more it's so fun. i love venting into it when im irritated at my annoying suitemate

and my discord is also canridauis. idk if you can share discord profiles (do they even have links?) and besides i'm BAD at talking online so even if you friended me on there to be perfectly honest i think i wouldn't interact (not out of being mean but out of feeling awkward). but might as well list that here anyway.

i've also been thinking for a while about starting a traditional blog so if i do that i think i might link it here as well. and if any of you start one and we're using the same hosting site i'll definitely follow you there!

i'm not planning to start up an account on any proposed tumblr replacement social media because i really do wish to be more offline so if tumblr falls apart anytime soon i suppose this is farewell.

[sunnyyflowerrs]

HI SUNNY!

for the fic writers ask:

How about 4, 13, 16, 23, 33, 59, 61, and 77 (from fire extinguishers!)

HI LUCKY!! thank you for the ask!!1 <3

4. Where do you find inspiration for new fics? 

hmm mostly i’m just ill abt itafushi and i see them in different situations, in music, in movies, and it’ll just spark stuff! also im a fanfiction warrior so i just have a lot of tropes in my head from stuff i've read

13. What’s a common writing tip that you always almost follow? 

whenever i write there is a little voice in my head that’s whispering “show don’t tell”. it’s the one piece of writing advice I’d heard before i started writing shhshshs so i try to let word choice, actions, and characters show the themes im trying to convey rather than say them directly. key word TRY. 

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing rn? Share one of them. 

tbh not too much. i think the biggest one rn is the angst fic im working on! i dont wanna reveal too much but it might be a main character death fic ... kinda going through itafushi's life pre and post canon! i like how it's turning out so far, but it still has a long way to go before i post

23. Best writing advice for other writers? 

lol ummm i don’t really have much. don’t write when you’re burnt out! if you start hating everything you write, that means you need a BREAK! i think that’s all i got 

33. Do you want to be published one day? 

hmm i havent thought about it much. i love writing, but i dont have any strong ideas for original work yet, so its not coming anytime soon, nor am i at the level to publish any of my work. maybe after i settle down i'll consider it though!

59. Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? If not, would you tell anyone? 

not a single soul. and probably not? idk i just feel like they wouldn’t get it and/or would tell me that i should be working on school/work so it’ll stay between me, ao3, discord, and god for now.

61. Why do you continue writing fics? 

i just love itafushi so much ❤️ i love them, i love their characters, and i love seeing them fall in love over and over.

also ive got a bunch of writing friends now who encourage me to be a better writer and push myself so they’ve been a big inspiration too!

77. Do you have a favorite scene from 🧯?

this is like asking me to choose a favorite child. ok so like, stylistically, i think some of the best writing is around the second fire and the prison fire. but i think like the most satisfying moments for me are reveals in the case - one of my favorite chapters chapter 19 because it all comes together! and also the rhododendrons. felt rlly big brain for that one.

thank you soo much for the ask, sorry its so late <//3

[maeremiga]

Twitter and it's problems

yesterday i got into a small confrontation on twitter with someone. it's a decent bout of drama im not happy to revist as much as i think adds important background to my post so i'm going to dive into it.

i should start by saying that we ended things on a better note! and they even offered to retweet a post to apologize. they ended up rting a standardbred rescue center for me which is great because the horses are being slaughtered after their use and need to be rescued and all the pigdogs who put them to death after use is just- pointless. you can kill a pig for its meat and i guess it's something this society needs to work on (meat is bad when it comes from animals that aren't wild and being overkilled its a tricky line but it's something that's not stopping anytime soon) but horses aren't even known for their meat. they just fucking kill the majestic things and leave them to rot like rusty tools

that's getting sidetracked (though i would petition anyone to follow https://twitter.com/SRF_SOSS if you're on twitter), so getting back into it i should talk a little more about the concentration. it was with a twitter user who i was talking with on discord the nights prior where they posted and retweeted an orbiter of sorts who wanted to shagg their fursona and in a post relating to that i said i didn't like seeing that, though also wanted to clarify i did not hate them for that. i took it on the nose instead of as a joke because im a weird sentimental thing that takes things to their literal limit

a seperate user below asked who i was and i responded i was another user on twitter (this was my first mistake in terms of replying as this is an incredibly douchey thing, i've come to realize). i checked their profile real quick to find out who THEY were and in that endeavor i realized they were smack tweeting someone silently. further context i was able to gauge that was me and i tried to play fiddle by deleting the tweets above because even if i wasn't able to understand the offense i made, i like to deter confrontation (more into that in a bit). they told me to fuck myself after blocking me in the midst of elaborating my point in a second post thereafter. naturally i went into a bit of a bitchy mood and smack talked them back and also on the same discord the original twitter user was on until they revealed that A: the user that blocked me was that twitter users mutual, paired with B: the whole thing was a joke in fun. they even decided to meddle in my behalf and communicate with them further.

apparently the twitter users friend thought i was some sort of orbiter myself, what twitter users call a reply guy. the gist is that they assumed me to be replying to simp for her. a creepy person, which is ironic considering that's what my message really was in the beginning (a call about not liking creepy people openly wanting to fuck sfw twitter users in public chat), and to had have it taken as that i consider just as stressful as the initial block. it was a misunderstanding and me and the former blocker are on amicable terms now, this is not a hate post for anything but twitter communication. A rant about the state of twitter and people in it will ensue

fuck twitter. fuck the whole annuals of social media where you can say one thing and have not only the wrong message taken but excplicity the one you were reacting to in the first place - this isn't anyones fault particularly, it's just pattern recognition gone array. you can muster any split sections of dogshit text on your page and have it taken in a bad way. even after we made up the stress that was developed in the moment hid itself in my body and made it manifest itself again while i was trying to sleep in an awful, grungy situation. i dont know if it's an autistic trait specifically, but it's never fun holding in this moment and the worry that it might happen again

because it will. it sometimes does and you can't help it. it's a landscape being built with shit bulldozers and piss cranes. it's centered around a culture of creepy weirdos who have you think on your feet and quickly deter any source of phrasing or odd behavior that MIGHT be from one of them because we made it justified to do this - this is needed conduct. the level of deranged follower worship, pedophiles, sleeper racists, abusers and transphobes are at a high ever since the Mule took over twitter and unshackled the bonds that kept users from becoming even worse psychomaniacs for 44 bil.

sooner or later you have to have this standard if you want to play the game that is social media ofc but twitter affluence after deciding to deliberately become worse and cradle a multiplad community of people it doesn't need (see above, pedos, racists etc.) is an aggressively unsettled prospect for anyone on the site who wants to interact normally. normally has been shred to pieces. normal is nothing in the lair of serpents and blood eyed apes. there will be a time someone dms another person saying they like someones style and it will undoubtably be seen as a calling card from a potential stalker and you won't even know where the line is.

with the essence of all the problems in the world im not upset someone had the wrong idea of me, but i am upset why they HAD to have had the wrong idea. it's not even particularly different to what i'd do on a hunch (and have!) for other posters on different threads with different situations. it's difficult to conserve yourself and work with first impressions because taking the wrong first impression and rolling with it doesn't pan out well in the worst scenarios if they're the weirdo creepo you think they might be and if they are why on gods green earth would you give that dipshit an inch to work with?

situations are in a low vacuum. we need to burn twitter to the ground and replace it with something or just replace the vacuum with smaller sized social media sites where the expectation of being seen and seeing others in a pre-negative light isn't the go to structure because hedonistic and hate scorned ants crawled up in the cracks of the pillar of its website and wont go. we need a better system man. fuck,

[carcinized]

ok so ppl are doing housekeeping stuff abt the dream stuff and i guess i should do one for this blog: my stance is honest to god whether or not this is true dream is not a good cc. i have been publicly and privately criticizing him for around 2 years now. this new stuff is disgusting and i stand on the side of the victims whether or not it’s true because that’s what you do when it’s one person’s word against another’s.

as for what is going to happen with this blog, i will continue to post mcyt because dream is NOT representative of all things mcyt, like bitzel said on twitter the other day its honest to god so upsetting that he’s the face of it. i will continue to avoid all content of dream, only as more of a hard rule than i have before.

but honestly im so busy rn that i dont think ive posted mcyt like in the past week, this blog is becoming more and more inactive as is my interest in the dsmp. most likely my involvement will be to finish C-17, maybe its the sequel fics, watching tubbo, tommy, foolish, ponk streams and liveblogging, and like actual minecraft content because i have been watching minecraft content for upwards of 8 or 9 years and i do not expect to stop anytime soon.

other content to expect on this blog will be the dark crystal, space stuff as always, me kinda just. talking, and probably more. if you want to unfollow bc this has soured your experience with mcyt thats completely understandable, this is my main blog and i dont have any other socials. if we’re mutuals feel free to dm/send an ask off anon for my discord if you want to keep in touch. take care of yourselves everyone

[mellohidisc]

╰ ☆ ╮𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 - discord au ✰⋆

1.2k 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 | 𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: "𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘦, 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘐 𝘢𝘮." // "𝘓𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳."

𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖘: 5/5 𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴 || 𝘺/𝘯 & 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱

I plopped my bag on my unmade and definitely in need of a wash bedsheets. I looked down on it, scrunching my nose seeing blemish marks upon my white sheets. Don’t ask me what it is, maybe dirt? Marker? Maybe the last drops of a monster energy drink that I chucked across my room into the garbage can. I’m not too sure what exactly it is to be quite honest. I’ve been so busy and tired, and the state of my bedroom defiantly showed it. University is hard, especially when it isn’t your only responsibility. With all the homework, my job and trying to keep my long-distance relationship above water it is especially hard.

But for once, the world was on my side. It was the weekend, I didnt have work and nothing due soon for school. I could get a rest, fucking finally. I walked my self over to my desk, and sat down in the chair. Unlike George and his streamer friends with these super expensive duel monitor and pc set up bullshit, I just had my laptop, and fuck Dream for making fun of me for it. I unfolded it, pressing the power on button. I watched as it slowly booted up.

Okay, maybe Dream is right but still fuck him.

I refuse to give that man the satisfaction of saying "I told you so." After waiting for a few to let it boot up all the way, I clicked through onto discord.

sex havers and y/n.

fucking idiots, all five of them.

looking over to the voice channels i saw them all in vc 2. I pondered, and questioned if I was mentally stable enough to listen to karl and quackity scream into my ear. I knew the answer was no but...oh, my finger slipped.

"y/n!" karl yelped with excitement. I felt a second wind rip through my body. that was the effect these boys had on you, if you think you're tired you're actually not.

"hi george." i said brightly, knowing it would offend karl greatly.

"hi hun." he said shortly, taking me off guard. i could hear him slamming on his keyboard.

"what are you playing?" i asked, going to click on his discord profile to find out.

"phasmaphobia, come save me from karl. he's been screaming the whole time in the lobby."

"hell no babe, you're on your own im sorry."

"for once, i agree with them." dream chimed in, making me roll my eyes and make a fake gagging noise at him.

dream has one of the kindest hearts i know of. we just fucked around with each other, but we could never seriously hate each other. he was like a brother to me, and no not one of those weird fucked up "i have a crush on my boyfriends best friend" things, but just a genuine great friend.

my thoughts we're interrupted by a loud scream from sapnap, and quackity and karl yelling run. I winced, smashing the volume down button on my laptop.

"alright nope! no no im done! i am closing the game." george said frantically, you laughed as you watched his discord status change.

"awe did the ghostie boy scare you?" i tease gently, testing the waters. with george sometimes, i could never tell when the teasing would be too much.

before he could anwser, i saw karls face appear on my computer screen making me giggle. he had the camera zoomed all the way into his face, staring dead into the camera.

"george..." he growled lowly, making you laugh.

"yes karl?" george asked innocently.

"SCREW YOU!"

the whole call bursted into laughter, i watched my screen go from only karl to karl and quackity.

oh dear god...

anytime alex has his camera on we knew we were in for it.

i watched quackity as he grabbed a stuffed pillow from behind him, and a pair of scissors off his desk.

"george listen- listen to me. this pillow-" he waved it in front of the camera.

"this is you. now this is a pair of scissors." he proceeded to wave them in front of the camera also.

"now george, i want you to turn your camera on for me."

george groaned in protest.

"why-"

"SHUT UP AND DO IT!" quackity yelled, i whined at him to shut the hell up.

I watched the screen grow again into three cameras on, butterflies filling my stomach as I saw george's smile. sometimes it just feels so surreal to me, how he gave me the time of the day really. when I first meet him he didn't seem like the type to date anyone, and if he did he would have been the type to forget he was dating someone and not answer for days.

yet he proved me wrong.

being with george has been one of the best relationships i've been in. he was kind and caring, and yeah he had a hard times being comforting but he showed his compassion in other ways. whether it be a meme he made himself to make me laugh, or a something as small as sending me a cat video link.

"y/n! turn on your camera." sapnap demanded, making you frown your brows.

"what! why? since when did you have yours on sap?"

"well if you weren't day dreaming ab mr gog mister over here you would have saw me put it on."

I rolled your eyes. I scanned my bedroom and made a face. It is a fucking mess in here.

"okay but dream doesn't have his on." i point out, knowing that wasn't going to help me.

"yeah thats because its dream." karl retorted.

"turn it on."

"turn it on."

"turn it on."

The four of them stared to chant, as dream laughed in the background.

"I fucking hate you guys." I groaned, hitting the camera button on discord.

Quackity placed the bear and scissors down, standing up out of his seat to lean closer to the computer screen.

"holy shit y/n! did a hurricane come through your room or something?" he laughed, half jokingly.

the boys knew they couldn't genuinely say shit, after all they are boys.

"oh fuck off. i would love to see your bedroom."

"i guess this makes me the organized one in the relationship." george says proudly, gleaming with joy.

the boys and i laughed at him, watching his mouth slowly open wide and a look of disbelief spreading across his face.

"what! why are you laughing?"

"george, you and i both know you are the least organized person in the world." dream told him.

i giggled watching georges reactions to their comments. his mannerisms were apart of his humor, the hand gestures and the facial expressions.

"no okay no guys please. listen-"

"guys pleaseeee" sapnap whinned mockingly, sending us all into laughter.

"screw off! babe tell them how organized i am!" he yelled through a laugh.

my eyes widened, fuck. you tried quickly to think of a lie to make him look stupid but good at the same time.

"last night he ate his fruit loops by color." i said, nodding trying to sell it.

"HES FUCKING COLOR BLIND YOU LIAR!" dream yelled loudly.

i covered my mouth from laughing so hard. holy shit. thank god i dont have anything to do tomorrow its going to be a long night.

[duroodles]

jello my friends (づ￣ ³￣)づ i’m sae and i’m super duper excited to roleplay with y’all here hehe! i’m a new fan of animal crossing because my boyfriend got me into it ( which hopefully he will join later ) but i’ve been dying to play a hyunjin face claim and i loooove poodles so like, a harriet skeleton is perfection for me !! but lets get into the actual intro, i could talk forever here also my pages are 100% not done and i probably won’t get them done until tomorrow and im so sorry !! i hate being underprepared but i was just so excited and wanted to grab up harriet because i was so inspired T_T

GET TO KNOW DURI !

♡ like his app says, duri was raised on the twin islands and honestly, couldn’t be happier living where he is. his parents were those little old people on the island that loved animals and were the islands biggest cheerleaders, and he takes pride in his families connection to home uwu ♡ he started shampoodle because of his absolute baby of a dog, jwi. jwi is a poodle and he can’t be seen without her at anytime! think, little dog in a purse ♡ duri has experience grooming animals as well being a hairdresser for people, and basically, its all he ever wants to talk about if you aren’t careful. he loves style and looking good! ♡ he is a very hard worker, and basically is at his shop all day everyday, and he talks to every customer and employee constantly! no one ever goes missed by him. ♡ duri makes everyone feel pretty and loved, its no surprise when he has gained another friend or fan, honestly, because he just makes you feel special! ♡ some people do think he’s a little annoying though, sometimes even consider him to be fake because no one actually believes everyone is special, right? ♡ and its kinda true. duri just thinks he can make everyone seem special ♡ duri is bisexual, so welcome to all options for kisses, but beware, he’s very into himself ♡ duri lives near by his shop in starden! and walks everywhere with little jwi

PLOT IDEAS !

♡ customers ! employees! gimmie all of it ♡ neighbors, who lives close by? perhaps you’ve had to borrow milk or eggs! ♡ past friendships or relationships, ones from when they were younger on the islands mayhapsies ♡ a current closest friend! ♡ possible relationships like hookups or dates? ♡ i dont know, i’ll fill out a more indepth plot page soon, promise! but those are just some ideas off the top of me head!

GET TO KNOW THE MUN !

♡ my name is sae ♡ am 21 ! ♡ i go by they/them and she/her occasionally ♡ i live in texas and therefore my timezone is cst ! ♡ i’ve been roleplaying since like 2011 fygh ♡ i prefer to use discord or twitter for plotting because ims are always hard for me, so i’ll have those below ♡ discord: ( sae#0048 ) and twt: ( MLMJJK ) ♡ dont be shy about messaging me on any platform though! i love talking but i can be shy nwn

[holyverbena]

hello! cant say i dont feel a little guilty about not being so active lately and coming back with this, but as you see life has gotten a bit in the way :(

i am soon to lose my current job, which has been my source of income since lockdown started here in my country... currently, because of my national situation im not able to get another job anytime soon, so im opening comissions to keep subsisting with my partner @roseparfaits, as we have bills to pay and food to buy we also hope to get steady enough to save up for our own place, we currently live with my family and though i dont really wanna say much about it here it can get pretty rough :( we are urgent to start looking for a place to live on our own where we can be at peace

from the bottom of my heart im thankful to anyone who signal boost this

✰ TERMS OF USE ✰ 

✦ payment will only be accepted via paypal

✦ i will draw any fandom and any character, including oc’s

✦ same goes for ships, any ship be it canonxcanon or ocxcanon

✦ for this comissions i won’t draw NSFW content, i’ll only be accepting nudity (be it slight or full) and soft gore (nosebleeds, scratches, things like that)

✦ i’ll only do your original idea, i won’t accept comissions in which im asked to replicate and/or copy something someone else made to which you have no ownership (such as, say, an image you found on pinterest)

✦ for my simple colored bust, head shot and full body comissions payment has to be upfront for my other 2 options we can make an arrangement (such as paying half at the start and the other half when i finish)

✦ i will comunicate with you trough the whole comission process (can be via tumblr or discord), showing you advances in every stage of the illustration (sketch, lineart and coloring)

✦ you can make any change and/or fixes you want! but only in the sketching stage- i will fix anything you want in this stage and any times you need it to be happy with my work for you <3

✦ my comissions are for personal use only! you can use it anywhere you want in anyway you want, i only ask you don’t delete my watermark and ofc don’t make money out of it

and i think thats pretty much everything!! please feel free to contact me trough here with your idea! ill be happy to draw for you

if you cant comission me right now, please please signal boost this as we are going to need all the work we can get >< i will also open a kofi soon where you will be able to donate for more simple, cheaper sketchs!

thank you so much for reading this far and i hope i can make something for you

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 80

[Date: 15/03, 7:35 PM GMT - 15/03, 8:18 PM GMT]

[Direct continuation of pt 79]

Baroness: “Ask me about what? :)”

Maxwell: “.....

about your note...from yesterday

your 'observation'”

Baroness: “Oh, I already told you. I'm still learning so much about the family. :)”

Maxwell: “im not a part of the family

and i dont plan to be anytime soon”

Baroness: “:)”

Maxwell: “dont you dare”

Maxwell: “its creepy to watch people

especially documenting things about them”

[Jack: “I'll try not to take offence to that”]

Baroness: “:)”

[Maxwell: “especially documenting things about them”]

Baroness: “But how can I learn if I don't document?”

Maxwell: “you dont need to learn anything about me”

Baroness: “Why do you say that, Max? :)”

Maxwell: “because im not apart of your fucking family”

Baroness: “Please watch your language. It's very rude to speak ill of the family.”

Maxwell: “fuck off”

[emuhlee: “Max isn't a part of your family though, so I believe they should be able to say what they want about it.”]

Baroness: “Who are you or anyone to decide if they aren't a part of our family?”

[Maxwell: “i said it myself im not a part of your god damn family”]

Baroness: “You are more a part of our family than you think, Max. :)”

Maxwell: “shut up”

fetch: “baroness. please just leave him alone.”

[Jack: “okay that is just. also not how families work.”]

Baroness: “I think I know how family works, Jack. :)”

Mothbo: “Doesn't everyone have the right to choose their own family? If Max doesn't want to be a part of the family, that's his choice. It should be respected.”

Maxwell: “thank you moth”

Baroness: “Hello Fetch! Yes, I was just popping in to answer Max's question, but I'll be on my way now. :)”

Baroness: “I'll see you soon. :)”

fetch: “it'd be wise to watch your step around him from here on out, too.”

Maxwell: “leave”

fetch: “you leave him the hell alone.”

Baroness: “:)”

fetch: “i swear to god i'm gonna be the one pulling all nighters if she keeps that up.

Maxwell: “dont its fine”

Marcus: “Okay so I have some diced watermelon, some cheese cubes, water and the sticks- what happened”

Maxwell: “.....baroness

god this better not make my headache any worse bleh”

fetch: “yknow what for reasons unrelated /s I'm gonna do a check around outside. watchdogs do need to watch the yard.”

Marcus: “...alright, be safe fetch”

Maxwell: “ugh....be carefuk fetch

shes not to be trusted....”

fetch: “me neither, which is why I'm making sure she isn't hanging around outside.”

Marcus: “Alright, max eat something please”

fetch: “i will when I get back inside. i won't be long, promise :]”

Maxwell: “thanks....i mean it you two”

Marcus: “Of course max!”

kate: “just please stay safe guys :(”

Marcus: “We’re trying”

fetch: “hey guys popping back in for just a sec

grabbing the flour ill brb”

Maxwell: “why

why do you need flower?”

fetch: “just a hunch one sec”

kate: “you guys might need to look into hiding somewhere else”

Marcus: “...a hunch???”

Maxwell: “there isnt anywhere else...”

A random Spark: “Underground can be helpful.”

Marcus: “Where would we go that’s underground”

Maxwell: “fetch what the fuck are you doing with the window?”

fetch: “look”

Marcus: “...is that?

fetch what the fuck”

Maxwell: “oh god damn it”

fetch: “okay yeah glad to know I'm not the only one who sees that

there's footprints outside too, like a trail”

Marcus: “....”

fetch: “they were... pretty long footprints too. So either the feet were long or they were dragging their heels”

fetch: “okay that settles it I'm not sleeping tonight”

fetch: “And hey, worse comes to worse, mona probably won't mind if we use some of her taxidermy knives and stuff to scare em off”

kate: “if they're staking you guys out, then it's obviously not safe to stay there...”

Maxwell: “but we dont have anywhere else we can gp”

fetch: “there's really nowhere else we can go

we don't have the money for motels and mona's car can't fit all of us comfortably for a long period of time”

Maxwell: “the only place i know of nearby is my moms house...”

fetch: “My parents house is like half a state away but there's no way if be able to explain this mess to my dad”

Maxwell: “yeah i am not going back to my moms”

jayyyyyyyy: “are there any shelters or churches around? theyd probably let you guys in for the night”

fetch: “Again, this place isn't very accepting to hybrids

Pretty sure last time I went to church they tried to exorcize me”

jayyyyyyyy: “..ah. i forgot about that”

Maxwell: “this fucking sucks”

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

[aaronhart93]

text || aarotin

Discord text thread featuring: Aaron & @quentindelancret

When: January 22nd, early morning into early evening

Mentions: @romanbeckett @davieslandon

Description: Aaron and Quentin fight about Quentin’s drug addiction 

Trigger Warnings: addiction mentions, arguing

Quentin.

you okay baby?

I haven’t heard from you and I just wanted to check in. I love you

Aaron.

I love you too and miss you

Des has just been cranky all night.

Quentin.

oh man, I’m sorry baby. Is there anything I can do to help? I know it’s late but I can bring breakfast in the morning or anything you need

Aaron.

I think she's sick

i have to play the morning by ear. Depends on how she wakes up

Quentin.

okay baby. I hope she’s not sick though. Just let me know and I’ll help out any way that I can

Aaron.

thank you baby. I miss you

Quentin.

I miss you toooo

Aaron.

miss you more

Quentin.

Impossible. I’ve been thinking about you all day. I miss your scent

Aaron.

you have my hoodies. put one on babe

are you at home?

Quentin.

I already did

I am home. I’m supposed to go snuggle Romie but Delilah brought over drugs and now I’m too hyper for life lol

Aaron.

oooo yeah i was gonna ask you to go check on him...but it's okay

Quentin.

I will. I’m just trying to chill out for a minute. He’s gonna leave a key for me

Aaron.

I mean if you’re high...maybe just stay home

Quentin.

uhmm okay

Aaron.

i just dont want you leaving the house so late

Quentin.

I know

I’m sorry

Aaron.

i just....if you knew you were going to go over to his place to take care of him...why would you get high

Quentin.

I didn’t know exactly. He said he was gonna sleep but then he couldn’t, and Delilah was upset and I told her she could come over and talk. Then she had coke and I just... I’m sorry

please don’t be mad at me

Aaron.

im not mad im just

idk

feel some type of way about it

Quentin.

about the coke?

Aaron.

not necessarily. the fact that our partner is sick....you knew i had des tonight so couldn't go over there...i guess i just figured you'd be a little more responsible

it's okay...i dont want you to be worrying about these things anyway

ill take care of both of you.

Quentin.

I can be responsible Aaron. I thought he was gonna sleep. I’m still gonna go over there and take care of him. You both come before anything else for me and I’m sorry I misstepped. But I’m not gonna just leave him hanging.

Aaron.

even if he fell asleep and woke up and needed something...seriously though. i want you to have fun and live your life, im sorry i brought it up

Quentin.

Aaron.. stop it. What is going on with you? I’m fine. I can go over there right now. But you seem... on edge. Are you okay?

I wanna have fun and live my life with you and Roman. I fucked up okay? But I feel like there is something else nothing you

Aaron.

i fought with Landon the other day

Des might be sick

work sucked today and im stressed about Ro

im sorry

Quentin.

baby, I’m sorry. I know the whole Landon situation sucks. I wish I could fix it for you. I know I made things shittier before but I don’t wanna do that. I wanna be here for you. I can come see you after I check on Roman? Help you with Des and give you a massage. I’m worried about you

I’m coming. I won’t take no for an answer. I’m gonna give you a massage and get you in bed. Then I’ll go see Romie. I wanna be there for you both

Aaron.

Quentin, I love you. and thank you....I don't know how to tell you this but...I don't want you around Des if you've been using tonight.

Quentin.

Aaron.

Fine, I’m not gonna argue with you. See you tomorrow then?

Aaron.

yeah

Quentin.

okay

I’m sorry

Aaron.

im not mad

Quentin.

It’s okay. I understand.

I love you

Aaron.

dont be upset

Quentin.

of course I’m upset. I want to be there for you and I can’t

Aaron.

im okay, Q.

Quentin.

that’s not the point

I’m sorry I fucked up. I know you don’t want an addict around Des and that’s my fault

Aaron.

you're sick, i can help you

Quentin.

I’m sick?

Aaron.

addiction...its a diseae

disease

Quentin.

wow, Aaron.

yeah, I don’t wanna talk about this right now

Aaron.

you...brought it up...

Quentin.

yeah, I know. I guess I just didn’t really think you would agree with me

Aaron.

that i dont want someone on drugs around Des? Quentin...

you are making this into something it isnt

Quentin.

no, that you think I’m sick and need help.

I understand you not wanting me around Des. But it’s not like I’d ever hurt her

Aaron.

i know you would never and I'd never keep her from you

just sober up...and we'll talk in the morning i guess

Quentin.

I don’t even know what to say

I’m just sorry I’ve been such a burden.

yeah, we will talk tomorrow

Aaron.

back up

you're not a burden

Quentin, stop making things up in your head

Quentin.

I feel like I have been.

I don’t wanna add any more stress for you

Aaron.

Quentin, listen to me.

i cannot live without you.

Okay?

Quentin.

okay.

I’m just sorry

Aaron.

dont be. im sorry i was harsh

Quentin.

it’s fine.

I love you

Aaron.

i love you too. bring me breakfast in the morning??

Quentin.

of course. Let me know if you need any cough medicine or anything when Des gets up

Aaron.

thank you, my love

goodnight

Quentin.

anytime. Goodnight baby

early evening...

Quentin.

I’m sorry about last night

I’m trying to do better

Aaron.

it was my fault. Don’t worry about it

Quentin.

it wasn’t your fault. You told me how it is and I’ll fix it

Aaron.

okay

Quentin.

good talk

Aaron.

well do you wanna keep talking about it

Quentin.

Nope, I really don’t.

Aaron.

I don’t know what else to say because I don’t either

Quentin.

I’ll just leave you alone

Aaron.

or like we could talk about literally anything else

I missed you today, okay?

Quentin.

yeah, I missed you too

Aaron.

like a lot

I pulled Des from school and had a day with her

it was nice

Quentin.

that sounds fun

Aaron.

it was

Quentin.

I’ll let you get back to it then

Aaron.

oh okay

I love you

Quentin.

you too

Aaron.

Quentin

I’m sorry okay?

Quentin.

it’s fine. I’m really just moody today.

I’m trying to stay away from the happy pills ya know?

Aaron.

I don’t want you to do something that you’re not ready for. If you aren’t ready to stay off of them, then it’s okay

Quentin.

the thing is Aaron, I’m never gonna be ready. I take molly literally every day. Most times people can’t even tell it’s that bad.  But I know it bothers you and Roman and I’m done

Aaron.

that’s brave

and makes me happy. That’s one of the reasons i know you love me

Quentin.

of course I love you

Aaron.

I know

Quentin.

I’m just so sick of disappointing you

Aaron.

I’m not going anywhere okay?

Quentin.

yeah

Aaron.

I’m serious

Quentin.

okay

Aaron.

are you mad at me

Quentin.

no I’m not mad. I just don’t feel like we’re as close as we used to be

Aaron.

because of an argument?

Quentin.

No not because of an argument Aaron

because you just seem distant all the time

Aaron.

I...

im sorry. It’s not on purpose

Quentin.

it’s fine

Aaron.

how can I be better

Quentin.

I’m just gonna take a few days to myself

Aaron.

oh okay

Quentin.

I don’t want to make anything worse by staying here

I get so all over the place with my emotions and without drugs I’m scared of what I might say or do

Aaron.

maybe tell your doctor? For medicine?

Quentin.

I don’t have a doctor

and I don’t want one honestly

they just make me relive shit I don’t want to and that isn’t gonna help anything

Aaron.

I can get you into a primary care doctor with no issue

not a therapist. Just a regular doctor

Quentin. What have I done wrong? It’s obviously something

Quentin.

you didn’t do anything. It’s just me.

Aaron.

tell me how I can help

Quentin.

my expectations and my delusions of how I thought things would be. It’s fine, I’ll handle it, I’ll make it better

Aaron.

how did you think things would be?

Quentin.

different

Aaron.

well what can we do better baby

I will do anything for you

Quentin.

it’s not you. I’m pretty sure it’s all me

ya know.. how I get in my head and shit

Aaron.

what can I do for you when you get in your head

to help

Quentin.

I don’t know. You can’t fix me. It doesn’t work like that

I’m just, I’m tired.

Aaron.

well now I’m scared

Quentin.

of what?

don’t be scared Aaron. I love you. I just, I can’t see you right now. But soon.. okay?

two days. That’s it.

Aaron.

where are you going

why can’t you see me

Quentin.

I’m just gonna go see my brother I think. Maybe fix things with him.

I can’t see you because I know if I do I’ll change my mind about taking some time away

but it’s okay, I wanna see you. Come see me

Aaron.

alright I’m coming

Quentin.

good. I love you

Aaron.

I love you so fucking much

Quentin.

the feeling is very mutual baby

I promise it’s gonna be okay. Alright? I just need to get my head right

Aaron.

okay

Quentin.

and it’s not your fault.

Aaron.

Idk

Quentin.

its me, I swear it’s me. That sounds cliche but it really is. I’m gonna fix it

I mean, honestly. All I can think about right now is how I wanna jump on you when I see you and never let go. But I need to stop being so closed off. I know that just makes you closed off and then I blame you. But it’s not you. You just .. you have this effect on me that really scares the shit out of me

Aaron.

is that effect a bad thing?

Quentin.

uhmmm

I don’t know. Is it?

Aaron.

I don’t know. Is it a good scare or bad scare

Quentin.

both

Aaron.

how do I scare you?

Quentin.

It’s like... you’re so out of my league and I don’t wanna do or say anything to make you leave. I’m like, I’m a lot, and I know I can be. It just scares me that makes I’m too much sometimes

Aaron.

I am not out of your league.

you are 1 of 2 of the hottest men in Kingsboro and I have both of them lol

Quentin.

you are totally out of my league. You’re like, God, I can’t even put you into words. Then there’s me. Partying, acting crazy, doing stupid shit. Idk. It’s like I’m an embarrassment next to you. But I mean, if I’m that hot I must not be so bad lol

you’re also like.. so hot! I can’t breathe lol