#dont send me back to the dizzy days of that summer (be with you) again

[4b9]

shinkiro is a skatebeetle song does anyone hear me

[tookthe-405]

On our way

Chapter 1 :

We’ll keep falling on each other

DONATIONS & LINKS 🇵🇸

DAILY CLICK🍉

Loser!ellie x ex-bsf!reader

ROADTRIPPPP

authors note: first chapterrr🤪 ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO PLS

And pls tell me if the chapters should be shorter and what kind of perspective I should write from (Ellie pov will come later when I’ll fit), LONG AF

Summary: modern Jackson au!

you and Ellie were best friends through your childhood. Now your just neighbours who act like enemies towards each other, but after an incidence you both decide to run away together.

Joel lives 💯

warnings: anxiety , Panik attack?, alcohol, smoking, feeling of throwing up (only mentioned once) smut in future chapters!!, chaotic and stupid arguing between reader and Ellie, school anxiety, messy af (I mostly write at night when the demons come out🐺)

(ellie is 18 and reader is 17 (soon 18))

Readers pov:

6/25

You couldn’t remember the fall out.

For a matter of fact you couldn’t remember anything that happened that night.

You just knew that the next morning Ellie and you weren’t friends anymore. You guys weren’t anything, just total strangers who knew more about each other than any other.

“Iced Coffee and 4 chocolate donuts should be your order”

Your head snaps up and an older guy holds out a bag of donuts.

“Yes, thank you”

You quickly scurry out of the waiting crowd, out the dinner and into the summer air.

2:25 p.m. If Jody would finally pick you up, the both of you might only be 10 minutes late to the game.

While you're waiting, you take a donut out of the bag and realize as you're eating that you don't have a cold ice coffee in your other hand.

"Fuck”

you really wanted that coffee, and by any normal logic you should just go back.

But the fear of embarrassment won. so you decide to just wait outside without a coffee, feeling the dizziness of the lack of sleep in your brain.

The day before was the last exam and you couldn’t sleep the whole night, because of your anxious thoughts that are so unjustified that it’s actually embarrassing.

you watched the cars drive by, as you wait for Judy to pull over.

Today was the last school day. Ever. This morning was the last morning you would ever be in a high school class room to study.

After waiting for a while you hear the horn of Judy`s car or rather her parents car, since both of you are broke and only one of you has their license.

"i forgot my coffee" you complain as you collapse into the passager seat.

"yeah but you didn`t forgot the donuts and thats the really important thing here" Jody happily takes the box full of donuts, out of your hand

"footbal games always stress me out" you rummage through your bag, looking for gumm or just something that will help your body through this hard time.

"i hope my exams were good" you tell her anxious.

"It was our last fucking day, dont worry about something that is over soon. Those last days don`t really matter no one cares"

"I do"

Judy scoffs, puting the donute to her mouth again, all while looking at the street.

"I know, thats your problem. Really, you need to fix that. Your grades are amazing and whatever college you wanna go to, will say yes."

Now you scoff.

"right then why haven’t they replied yet then?"

"because you were too anxious too send your application, you almost threw up in my room"

Your face contorts at the memory. Judy's poor cat hissed at you the whole time because you couldn't sit still at all.

"yeah sorry he gets like that, but not all cats are this easy to annoy i swear"

Your giggle fills the car and you share the last donute, as judy tries to find a parking spot which is obviossly not that easy anymore.

"goddamit those wild people are so greedy" her hands grab the steerig wheel harder, but theres simply no other free spot anymore.

You grow even more annoyed now.

The thoughts in your head take more space than you usually allow them.

The whole morning was shit, the whole day is shit and your life is fucked if you don’t get into university.

"i think we need to use the other one" judy says

"then we`ll have to run through the whole fucking school, were already late, Malik is playing!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she looks at you, thinking, and finally sighs.

"get out I’ll park the car" You immediantly regret snapping at her.

"you dont have to-"

she interrupts you (no suprise)

"bro get out of my car. It’s my fault we`re too late anyway and we both know im only here for the fries"

For a few seconds you hesitate, but then you grab your bag and the donut, and get out the car. Outside, a warm brise tickles your skin, now that the sun is shining right on your face. You pinch you eyes.

Judy dissapers around the corner and you wave, hoping she saw it, but the worry leaves with her because you start running towards the football field.

The whole row was full, every seat. You try to push your way through the crowd on the front, which didn't make it any easier because everyone was pushing forward against the bar to see better.

And it was so loud, every type of noises from every angle. This is your last game of course everyone will be loud, Jesus you’ll be loud, but the game hasn’t even started.

Arriving in the almost last row, Lyla waves to you and you sprint towards her.

"I don't know how you manage to save us seats, thank you so much," You almost scream, because the large group sitting behind her started singing the fucking national anthem.

lyla quickly hugs you and sits right back down. "I don't know how either, but here you go. Where's Judy?"

Her gaze wanders behind you to look out for her, as if judy is hiding behind you "Looking for another parking spot and getting us some fries"

You feel the light box in your hand and remember the one donut inside it.

“Here we’ve left you a donut”

“How generous” lyla replies smirking

Your attention turns to the football field. No one’s there.

“Everyone is still in the cabins, you're not as late as you think" she adds while slurping her milshake.

Malik is Lylas brother and a good friend of yours. Even Judy likes him, and that's saying something.

After the "incident" you tried so hard to find another group of friends, that one day it actually happened.

Which wasnt easy, before ellie you didnt relly need other friends. You also didnt want other ones. You always thought she felt the same way.

Her company, her words, her feelings and thoughts were all you wanted.

"Holy shit im not late!"

Judy's loud voice pulls you out of your thoughts. She quickly sits down next to you and hands you the large french fries package. You grin at her and pass them on to lyla. The loud noises became quieter and quieter, which made you hear the microphone voice.

"Dear seniors and juniors, After weeks full of learning and exams, one last football game with our beloved team and a guest team of their choice should be enough for you. I don't understand why you wanted to have this when every one of you’ve seen so many other games, but as you want. That’s the last one really though, please."

Judy giggles at the voice of the principal, but with empathy rather than mockery.

"Poor Ms. Servopoulos, juniors and seniors are not easy. The Other Class's prank surpassed everything"

lylas eyes widened at the memory. "Which of the 20 One?" She asks, leaning a bit over my lap to hear judy better.

"The one where they all had their tables outside at the_" Judy's bright voice gets stuck in the air, and she looks past me with squinted eyes in dismay.

You know why and didn't want to turn around.

But you do it anyway.

She wore her typical short baggy shorts and a red oversize t shirt with a fucking beanie , which makes her look like the love child of Adam Sandler and Jesse Pinkman.

You’d be happy to laugh at her if she didn't look so fucking good. But you chuckle a bit in your head at the Beanie, because it’s fucking june.

She looks down at you , just standing there.

Ellie has always been a bit taller than you. You might be sitting right know, but you still know That hasn't changed yet. You don't have to get up to be sure. You would notice if she grew even 1 cm. You don't know if she would still recognize that about you.

The familiar, soft and light brown freckles on her face. As a tween you always wanted to connect them, to find out how it would turn out. Or how she would look. Or react. You wanted to make her laugh so bad it hurt.

"Seth told me to bring this too you"

The Ice Caffee, with your name on it, is suddenly right in front of your face.

"Why should I accept it? It's already warm anyway" The irritated pitch in your voice cannot be ignored

Elie's gaze remains neutral, but there was some caution in her expression. "He forced me when I was paying, just take it and throw it away."

"Why didn't you throw it away?"

"Because im at a point where I listen to that old man for my benefits. Seth hates me already. He didn't even tell me about the senior special last week" she protests

You roll your eyes in annoyance.

"i dont give a shit about you or the now hot coffee"

Your argument became more intense, Judy and lyla exchanged glances but stayed out of it. You want to sort out your shit yourself and they know that.

"just fucking throw it away ellie!"

"No, I'm sitting at the top and have to go down all the fucking stairs and-"

"I don't care Ellie"

The people around slowly became aware of the both of you screaming, and you wonder for a second how strange you both must look right now. How you line up like little kids. But ellie also hurt the child version of you. God she has hurt so fucking many versions of you.

"just be happy that I’m even bringing this too you, i didnt really had to do that"

Her hand holds the plastic cup so hard in front of your face that it looks like it's about to explode.

The fact that she thinks she has a right to be angry with you bothers you even more, as you try to hold back your tears. You try to imagine her as adam sandler, screaming at you in this fucked up voice from grown ups, to make the tears go away.

"right i didn’t ask you to do anything, you decided to be so stupid and come over here"

she chuckles sligtly at your words, really pissed now. "you bitch-"

The last words never came out of her mouth. But the coffee out the cup. On your shirt.

Frightened, you take a loud breath in and stand up. Ellie has already put a safe distance between the both of you and her own mouth is open with surprise and startle.

Behind her stands a paralyzed Joshua, with his hand on his mouth.

"I swear, he ran into me...," she babbles desperately to herslef, waving her hands in the air, the empty cup on the floor now. Looks like the rest of the liquor soaked your shoes.

Yo didn’t let her finish. You mumble to lyla and judy not to follow you and that you would call them later. You grabbed your bag and Then left.

And you cried the whole ride home with your mom next to you. And not because of the coffee.

The smoke comes out of your mouth, you take the ciggarette to you lips again, and breathe in deeply.

If you smoke in your room, you always have to lean almost completely out of the window, now with the shadows of the trees falling in your face.

The light, split by the limbs, danced to the movements of the branches. There was a small and almost sweet breeze in the air.

The sun is still shining, but the golden hour is almost here.

You get goose bums on your arm as a cold breeze comes, and you put out the cigarette on your ashtray.

As you lie down on your bed and just stare at the wall for a while, the dark smell of cigarettes is still in the air. your parents don't care as long as it doesn't get into the rest of the house.

You grab a book from your bedside table and start reading.

"And when you at last find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter- they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped darek inside yous so long"

You close the book with a jerk.

Yes, maybe no sylvia plath for today.

The buzzing of your phone makes your head move to the side.

Judy: Malik won

Judy: Tonights a party at the beach, everyones going

Your eyes stare back into the void of your ceiling.

Ellie has had so much influence over you and your feelings for so long, that has to stop at some point. And with all the anger in you, you think that today it will.

You get up and stand in front of your closet, you rummage around to find something and you do. A t shirt that belonged to ellie.

Your fingers brush over the dark green material. It was a fucking normal t shirt. Except that it wasn't.

"Today it will stops"

You put the t-shirt in your backpack and look for an outfit that was well suited for the beach. In the end, you wear short jeans shorts, where your grandma had sewn in flower patterns years ago, With a light blue shirt it goes nicely with the flowers.

you: can you pick me up?

Judy: I would love too :)

You quickly brush your teeth to get rid of the smell of smoke. Outside, you can already hear Judy's honking. You sprint down the stairs with your backpack and look for your beach shoes.

"Where are you going" Your mother is standing behind you with her arms crossed. In her old cardigan, she looked like she did a few years ago and you almost get a déjà vu.

"A party, Judys picking me up"

"how long are you gonna be there?"

"Mom im going to be 18 in what now 4 days you dont have to ask me that anymore"

she scoffs

"yes i do and guess what? i also want you to text me So i know youll be fine"

Nervously, you look out to see if Judy's car is still there, maybe she thinks you've changed your mind.

"Ok, Mom, I'll probably go to Judy's and be gone till midnight."

Suspiciously, she looks at you from head to toe, but (luckily) gives in.

"okay but please call me if something happens. Be smarter than your brother"

Your body flinches at the mention of him. "Has… he called lately?" you murmur

She looked at the floor and you thought for a moment she was going to cry. "No, but maybe if you call him, he'll answer"

You nod, but you know you won't do it.

He doesn't care about you either.

~

"I'm proud that you're coming along" Judy and you are walking, with beer in your arms, towards the beach where a few people have already gathered.

"I mean, that was a great show, a few people definitely noticed it"

You sigh at the unpleasant memory. "Then that's the way it is, I think a few other things are going to happen tonight, that are far more interesting than a girl with coffee on her T-shirt"

"I hope so" A mischievous smile on her face.

You look around to find lyla and malik, But because of all the people, it doesn’t really work. You were sure that there weren't that many seniors and juniors, but that a few friends of others came along. There was a big fire and even a barbecue.

After wandering around for a while, you find the two siblings. They had already made themselves comfortable on the big blanket and had taken some alcohol with them, but the bottles will probably spread over the whole beach anyway.

"Finally I see you, everything ok with you?" Malik mentions as he stands up, giving you a vigorouslyhug. "Really fucked up what happened"

You digress with a wave of your hand and sit down

"im fine, but you won, tell me abou it!" You try to make your voice as shrill as possible to make it clear that you don't want to talk about it.

“oh yeah we won, I made a touchdown, obviouly"

"almost didn’t catch it tho" throws lyla into the round and you giggle.

"Shut up, we only won our last game Ever, Because of me!”

Pride, but also the quiet pain of the loss of his team, can be noticed on his face andin his voice. The reality that you try so hard to run away from hits you again. high school is over, real life begins now.

“whatever, im getting something to drink and then im gonna tell sam to put on some music” Lyla ties you back into the moment. "I'm going with you , I need a drink of Voda-Coke"

~

Later that night Mr. Brightside was what got you on your feet and into the crowd.

Mesmerizingly, the fire flares higher and leaves just light trail of smoke behind. Malik and Judy are now singing along loudly with the others.

All these people who so clumsily sing the song about a heartbroken man, as if they would die if they don't do it, carry the same fate with them. They will all wake up tomorrow with a headache and worries about the next day. as it is one day closer to real life.

Some have broken families or parents, complicated friends, grief and draining fear of the future.

Knowing that it was like that but everyone was still singing along motivates you to do it too.

"Here more vodka has to work not taste good" Judy pours more vodak into your cup, but misses more than ends up in it.

Now you just laugh, because why did you thought so long about everything, this night was a good decision.

"I need to dance like I physically need to dance"

She grabs Malik's arm as he pours more beer next to her.

“let’s danceee!"

Lyla stands next to you, grinning and sober, and you both watch her.

"he likes her"

Lyla explains

"I know" you reply.

“That’s fucked up”

She looks a bit worried, as she watches the two of them dance and sing, with her arms crossed

"is that bad? or are you the "dont date my fucking brother" type of girl, please dont be by the way its always a bit-"

Your brain is mush, your tongue works on its own and Lyla obviously didn't like that

"no of course not, i don't care about him or who he dates"

The light from the fire reflected on her skin, she looked like a painting drawn at sunset and you wished you had your camera with you. It would be a shot of a very sad girl, with a lot of repressed feelings that she will never explain to a human soul.

But she didn't have to, because you understand.

You once looked at someone like that, from a distance where these looks were not visible to the person, where they were safe.

Comforting her was your first thought, dumb decision because a drunk person comforting a sober one never works out.

"I'm sure judy likes you back"

Alarm bells could be seen in her eyes.

"shut up you don't know that"

you laugh but it sounds unstable.

“No your right I don’t”

It looked like a lot of fun, everyone singing and drinking away their worries, you just wanted to join the dancing crowd when you see her. Again.

Fast an quickly, just ignore her, act like you didn’t see her.

But your eyes lock with hers and your stomach sinks.

In that moment you wish you could just admit that Ellie will always be a part of your mind. Wherever you are, with whomever, she will always appear In your mind and she will haunt you.

The worst thing is that it was also your fault, you allowed this relationship to be far too deep and perplexed even though you knew that it was becoming too emotional.

Ellie's presence on the other side of the fire, fills you with all those deeply buried feelings, as if she dug them up with her own hands. As if you told her where you buried them.

“I really don't understand you two"

with a snap you arrive back on planet earth.

"what?"

"the both of you. starring at each other, like you're about to run through fire to be just a bit closer. Makes me want to puke" lyla repeats.

Disbelief and vulnerability spreads through your chest and all those lights are too bright, the music is too loud and Ellie is too close.

"It's ok to forgive, we don't even know what happened so be honest, how bad was it?"

brushing all those feelings off, or at least trying to, you turn around and disappear into the darkness.

In a kind of trance you push your way through the many people, a few call after you, and you are sure that you have run into someone. You just didn't notice anything about it.

You stop in front of the many cars. You used to drive with your father to the local supermarket or other short distances, but you're not willing to steal a car.

Your head turns to the right then left, looking for something, anything that will take you away from here.

Cars, skateboards and bicycles.

Without thinking about it, you grab an unchained bike and get on it. The adrenaline in your veins works on its own and has far too much influence on your body.

It took some time to get stable on it, because the tears in your eyes made it difficult to see. Nobody seems to have noticed that you ran away and that you are riding a bike that doesn't belong to you.

The road was pitch black dark.

The warm summer wind wipes your tears away, the bright street lights of the city can be seen in the distance.

You step on the pedals and realize that you have arrived on the local road.

Out of breath, you press your fingers on the brake lever.

Desperately trying to get your lungs to return to normal, mind concentrate on the outline of your shadow that was visible on the floor, because of the street lanterns.

You get off the bike in silence, put it down next to you on the sidewalk and sit down.

The pumping of your veins feels like electricity.

You could still hear a few cars in the background.

You brush away strands of hair from your forehead.

“Fuck” you hear yourself whisper.

The tears were just about to come back when you hear a car turning.

She still drives Joel's old truck.

The vehicle stops in front of your feet and you notice that some of the light green paint has rusted off.

That wasn't the case the last time you saw that thing.

Ellie slams the car door loudly behind her, so she looks back to see if everything is still fine.

The feeling of shame just bubbles out of you and drips onto the floor, as she steps in front of you with even louder steps.

your head lifts up just a bit, to look at her. Her nose is a bit crooked and she's breathing just as fast as you were a few seconds ago, it looks a bit like she was running after you.

“What the fuck are you doing”

Ellie Williams will always come from the far corner of the world and remind you that you will never let go of her.

The effects of the alcohol still had an influence on your brain, so you stay calm.

“calming down"

For a few seconds it's eerily quiet, for a moment you thought Ellie had left again, but the squeaking of her sneakers prove the opposite. Her body settles down next to you.

"You look really stupid, sitting here like that."

You scoff mockingly.

"yes, that's exactly why you're sitting next to me bitch"

"don't fucki-"

"Don’t act so innocent, remember what you said today before you spilled my coffee on my shirt”

Her head turns to you, sweet regret and longing in her moss green eyes. She scans the bike next to you.

"i think i stole that" the embaressment goes up your cheeks.

"yeah totally badass, but we have to bring that back later" she chuckles softly.

The bright beam of light from the lantern above you gives her face an bright tint , like the beach sun always did in the evening.

"sorry... about the coffee, joshua ran into me and-"

"Yes, I know you've said that before"

She drops her head. No idea why she's sitting here, but you don't mind. you just wanted to capture her and keep her close to you, like a butterfly.

"your brother called me" Ellie mentions it so casually that it shocks you to the bone.

He can even call her but not you. After she just sat down, you were as close as ever.

"what did he say"

"He wants us to come visit him."

Her pupils were large, but you assumed it was because she just drove a dark route and not because she was high. She's way too lucid to be high.

"why? and why the both of us?"

Ellie shrugs her shoulders cluelessly

"He said that we would like Florida, that he was getting a new apartment next week and that we should visit him. You didn't tell him anything about me?"

"I haven't told him anything Ellie, we haven't been able to get in touch with him for months"

You can clearly see from her expression that it makes as little sense to her as it does to you, which worries you even more. something is wrong.

You can feel how your hands shaking, you tried to tell yourself that your just cold.

"Alex said that he tried to call you and your parents, but the line never got through, fuck he even reached Joel"

You continue to shake and Ellie gently grabs your shoulder like she has often before, when you were lost in your head, when you were so afraid of roller coasters that you almost vomited or when you cried because Alex moved out 3 years ago.

Ellie's own security was always an anchor for you, when things got too confusing she strengthened you and even though you didn't talk to each other for almost a year, she still decided to tell you that your brother was fine.

That he wants you with him.

Sometimes, on the particularly melancholic nights when loneliness and nostalgia take over, you read Sylvia's poems and it just clicks. That all because this girl with her hair that is way too short and her pants that are way too big and her full lips, her unhealthy obsession with the universe and planets, exists on the same time as you.

“There’s gonna be a explanation or a reason whatever but just calm down for now okay?”

her voice is suppressed but still safe. yes the Ellie Anchor effect, fuck that shit

“Okay yes your right what the fuck”

“Yeah I can be right sometimes”

“ I Doubt that”

Her lips pucker upwards and yours follow suit. you are still too close to each other, it all feels too new and yet too nostalgic.

The old patterns gave your heart a little sting, you quickly shook off her hand on your shoulder. You clear your throat, thanking the universe or whoever there is that it's night.

Otherwise Ellie wouldn't have been able to miss your red cheeks. In your mind you beat yourself up because you still feel this way after everything she did.

"Show me your phone"

Your hand goes protectively to your back trouser pocket. "um no?!"

Ellie Scoffs thinking your joking, but when she sees that you’re serious, she laughs.

"just give it? the fuck do you think im gonna do"

"I don't know"

With a little nudge to your foot, she gives you that look again that shows trust and you give in.

"fine"

It's a little painful for you, this morning you had a mental crisis because of her, now you letting her scroll through your contacts.

"yeah, sorry to disappoint you, but this is not your bros number"

But that must be his.

Your parents gave it to you.

Oh.

"show me" you said firmly, having a really fucked up scenario in your head, about why this is the wrong number.

Ellie takes out her phone and shows you your brother's contact. chats, phone calls, everything is there. the one from this week too.

"this doesn't make any sense, I just- I don't get it"

"Your parents gave you the number?"

You nod, "My mom said, a few Months ago he had to change his number, in the beginning we texted a bit but never really called"

your eyes switch from her phone to yours to check the numbers again and again .

"After a few days, he didn't get in touch at all, with no one. We thought he was just done with his old life." you pronounce the words and your stomach turns.

Ellie's eyes stare thoughtfully at the asgap in front of you. You're helplessly trying to build up eye contact to figure out what you're thinking.

"I think they lied to you… He said something like this could happen" She says it so fucking sure.

You couldn't take in any more and you get up with your eyes are watering "What the fuck are you talking about Ellie" Your voice broke with the trust in your parents, even Ellie looks at you sympathetically.

"Alex said on the phone that he has been trying to reach someone from home for a long time, but it doesn't work. He was so desperate that he even called me and joel. Do you think your parents or your mom-"

you raise your hand to tell her not to finish the sentence. "Why… would they do that?"

She gets up and comes closer to you. "He mentioned that your mother said he shouldn’t call her anymore or you anymore, that even you don't him in your life anymore"

It feels like your whole past is falling apart, all the beautiful moments with your family, you even want the bad memories back.

"Hey"

Ellie's soft fingertips gently touch the back of your hand. Roughness was still there, she hasn`t stopped playing guitar.

"lets run away"

a/n: omg, the chapters are gonna be shorter next time and we’re also on the road PLS STICK W IT

(and reblog😍)

anyways if you’ve come this far ur a real survivor thanks 🫶

@yourelliewillms @bready101 @liasxeatt @darkerstarsstuff @elliezato @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @lovelyxbaby @yalaysbee @macaroni676

[vvaane]

Evon

Hi, i’m Evon. Yea that’s the best way to start writing about a god damn serial killer, a proxy or whatever you guys call us. It’s late at night and you might be wondering why someone like me would write a book, dont i have people to kill? Cops to run from? Watch my back maybe? Nah man i used to do that before... that happened. Do you ever contemplate about your life? You know things like: what if i didn’t do that? what if i stayed silent? what if what i said once changed the whole story? Yea i know, a lot of what ifs. What can i say, i like to think. I may be a monster who kills like killing machine but i still have 'me' time.

I think i’m just rambeling now but yea another thing about me is that i like to talk, maybe too much sometimes. I wasn’t always like this though, as a child i was very quite and kinda depressed. Childhood isn’t my best memory to be honest, all i remember is wasting it on suffering and building up rage, until of course, i snaped.

Usually if someone asks me about that time of my life, i kill them without hesitation but in this case no one asked me so here we fucking go. Appriciate this because i’m not gonna talk about my shity life ever again. I was born on a beautiful day of summer, 4th of july 2000. I don’t have memories of my family, the only thing i know is that my mom commited suicide because of postbirth depression and dear old dad didn’t even bother to raise me or to even be in my life, good i killed him. Anyways, i spend my childhood at a church, raised in the name of this so called god, yea that place as holy as it sounds like, it wasn’t. Everyone feared the priest. What can i say, he was the best, always beating and torturing us many times even if we didn’t do anything wrong, my best and only friend was killed by this motherfucker. I myself got in trouble many times just because i 'wasn’t a man'. I don’t know how are you supposed to be a man at 13 years old but sure. You got 3 chances to 'go on gods way' if u didn’t make it you were send to a room that looked like an old basement of a castle. The room was dark and the only light you were seeing was from a little window, the door was big and scary honestly, when you first come into the room you would see a big statue of that bitch Mary. There the priest would give you 3 options: beat you, tie you in chains and not feed you for a week or put you in isolation for up to half a year. That guy was crazy and i’m pretty sure he hated children. Every kid would choose to be beaten because it lasted a short period of time compared to the other options. I was a maniac since i was little so i tried everything, being beaten till i was unconscious which isn’t that bad compared to the other things, i was beaten with everything you can imagine, chains, belts etc. I still have scars all over my body from that. Many kids weren’t strong enough and died. Their bodys were thrown in a room and from there they would be put then in the crematorium like they were nothing. Next i was tied and not fed, let me tell you, you get so hungry at one point you would even eat youself and i have seen one kid bite into his own arm somehow. Now the last and worst, isolation.I’ve been in isolation for maximum 2 months, i was put in a diferent room, this one had no windows so no light would come in, i felt like i was in a box, i had no bed, no nothing, i would eat once every 2 days half a bread. Many kids who went there didn’t come back. My friend was always send there even if he didn’t choose that. Dear Mike died when he was 15, i was 14 at the time.

Anyway, believe it or not that prepared me for what was next to happen. How do u think i survived the proxy training? That shit is hard but i will get there in a minute. After my friends death i felt like i wasn’t myself, i felt like some other me was taking control over my mind and body. When the priest found out about this change in my behavior he said i was possesd my some kind of demon and he performed this so called exorcisms on me that consisted in bathing me in holy water, tyeing me to the bed and saying many prayers. Useless. It wasn’t any of that. I actually had a second personality, a manifestation of my darkest and deepest thoughts and ideas. It was really hard for me to get used to this other me, over the time i even gave him a name: Devon. He became my best friend, he was the the only one who understood me. I faked being a normal kid so that the priest won’t try to take Devon away from me. I didn’t take any meds so day by day he was stonger and stronger, over the years we did many things, we destroyed a lot, first it started slow with plates and glasses but then i started to kill some animals around the church and the fact that i enjoyed it scared me at first. After i started doing this things i always felt watched, usually i was dizzy and sometimes i started to hear whispers even if i was alone in a room.

Years went by fast if i think about it, like if they were nothing, winters were the hardest because it was always cold and with all the tortureing sure it wasn’t the best thing. I was 18 when that event happned, i still remember every detail. It was summer, the weather was really hot, i was in my room when Devon took control out of nowhere, he wanted me to escape, to be free, to take revenge for every single thing they've done to me. He was right, i had to do something to get out and i wasn’t only gonna do that, i had to kill the priest and burn this place down. That church was what you guys call hell. If it’s hell then it has to burn. All day i wondered through every room in search of gasoline and matches, eventually at exactly 7:45pm i found what i needed, i stared at the objects like they were my saviours. Devon took control again and everything started, i poured the gasoline on every hallway of the church until the priest saw me, he wanted to hit me but i managed to fight him for a while, he was stronger than me so i ran away with the gasoline, i took a hatchet just to know i have something to defend myself with. I lit the match and threw it, i enjoyed the view of this place burning, i felt like i was able to dream again, i felt free and i didnt care who was still in there, the only thing that mattered was the fact that i got revenge and that im finally free. The view was ruined by the priest who was running in the woods. Of course i chased him with the hatchet until i lost him for a minute but then i heard a scream so i went in that direction. the adrenaline was overwheliming, i felt so powerful like i could do anything. After running for like a good 10 minutes i saw the priest dead with his killer getting off of him. The anger i felt in that moment is unimaginable, he stole my victim, the only person i wanted to kill with my hands, he took that away from me. I started running towards him with my hatchet. He stayed still like he didnt care, as i got closer to him i saw that he had the same weapon as me. I stopped and he smiled at me:

-You remind me of myself when i was little.

-I don’t fucking care what i remind you of, you just killed my victim!

-I’m Toby, Ticci Toby, nice to meet you...

- Evon, i said hesitantlly. Why are u doing this?Being nice.

-Thats a rule i have to follow, don’t kill or be rude to other killers.

Thats what changed everything, right after that i saw this faceless man behind Toby, he wasnt scared at all. This creature began speaking to me somehow.

-Child, i can give you a new home and i can let you be who you are, you don’t have to be afraid!

I didn’t have a place to go to so i accepted, i didnt know the training was gonna be so hard and long though. First i had to fight every proxy and that Masky guy left a scar on my face that went over my eye and my eye changed colour, from brown it went bloody red. Then i had to learn how to kill, how to survive, how to run from cops, it was hard for me but Toby helped me a lot. We got close and he took me with him every time Slends would give him a job. He was the youngest before i came in the picture. He told me his story, i told him mine. I had a friend after a long god damn time.

Now i’m 21 and i’m one of the best proxys Slender ever had. Toby is still the best of the best and to be honest he deserves the title. That’s my story. Now that you know it you should be prepared because i might come for u next.

[dracosearlgreytea]

indelicate marks (5)

indelicate marks: chapter five - the first lesson

A/N: here is chapter five! if you have had enough patience to get to here i am very proud and i thank you for putting up with so many arguments haha but dont worry very soon we shall be getting to the juicy stuff! its only the beginning! lots of love - ivy 

warnings: language, pretty awful bullying, implications of suicidal thoughts, draco being mean, everyone is mean, but especially draco (im sorry)

lovely tags: @h-annahayy @okaydraco @fanficflaneuse

indelicate marks index 

Undeniably, you were utterly and completely terrified of Occlumency. The entire act of it threw you back into the Easter holidays of your previous year at Hogwarts. Hours and hours of having your parents force their way into your mind, digging through every memory and every thought. Every time it left you sobbing, shaking, begging for them to stop, often having to run to the bathroom and turn out your stomach. They were two strangers, really. You'd been a year old when they'd been sentenced to life in Azkaban. Two strangers, rummaging around in your head. You were equally terrified of having to let Draco rummage through it, too. After having counted down every day till your decided meeting, there was a slight tremor in your hand to compliment the nausea sitting in your stomach as you climbed the shifting stairs. You were grateful that everyone was in the Great Hall and wouldn't be able to see the direction you headed. Not that anyone would take notice. Not unless they'd found some new threats to hurtle at you, anyway. Although you tried very hard not to, you seemed to have taken up a new habit of paying attention to Draco and his ever worsening appearance over the past few weeks. It was as though he got more and more exhausted every day, and whilst you could feel a very similar phenomenon within yourself, the fact that Draco Malfoy was so concerned about... Whatever it was he was dealing with, was making you - as much as you loathed to admit it - worry. Not just for whatever chaos would surely ensue from it. Of course, it was bound to be related to the mark on his arm, which only made you worry more. What the hell had happened to him over the summer? Worrying about Draco and whatever his involvement with the Dark Lord was only seemed to make your own anxieties multiply. It was a spiral, a steep and downward spiral, that left you with that constant sick feeling. It was as though you were falling, slowly and quickly all at the same time. You had a million questions for him that you would never allow yourself to ask, and he would most certainly not ever answer, but they echoed in your mind into the night, keeping you tossing and turning in your bed. Did he take it willingly? No, surely not, or he wouldn't have been crying about it that time in the bathrooms. Would Draco have just let someone give him that mark? And who did? Does Voldemort have to give each Deatheater a mark individually? Oh, shit, what if I have to actually meet the Dark Lord? No, that doesn't make sense... On, and on. Hesitation overcame you as you finally arrived outside the classroom door and you had to take a deep breath to settle your nerves before you pushed it open. Dust shifted in the air as you entered, illuminated by the days last light, which flooded in through the broken, tinted windows. Desks still sat in rows, facing a chalkboard that would most likely never been used again, papers scattered and worn into the floor beneath your feet. "You're late." The drawl of an increasingly familiar voice still made you jump, and your eyes flicked to the edge of the room opposite you. You'd almost missed him, where he sat on the edge of a desk, partially hidden by the shadows. His wand hung from his fingers, and he flicked it up absentmindedly. "Colloportus." Behind you, the door clicked, locked. "Was that really necessary?" You muttered, edging away from the door, trying to ignore how the action made your heart rate increase. There was no escape. You were now locked in a room with Draco Malfoy - who, was about to delve into your most private thoughts - and was also a Deatheater.   He washed his grey gaze over you, eyes finally coming to meet yours piercingly, sending a small shiver down your spine. "Can't be too careful." He shrugged. Coming to stand a couple meters away from him, you inspected him, noting how pale he looked. More pale than usual. In fact, he looked as though he could have been sick.   "You look like you're about to fucking puke." Draco spoke again, monotone, snapping you back to the situation at hand as he withdrew. Looking you up and down, his lips dragged downward in a vague disgust. Feeling all too uneasy under his scrutiny, but passing off the feeling, you rolled your eyes. "Skip the niceties, by all means." Your mutter prompted him to smirk lightly, your gaze becoming all too focused on the way the corner of his lips then shifted upward. "I'm about to be inside your head. I wouldn't worry about niceties." Dread pooled in your gut at his blunt words, and you pulled your eyes away from him. Standing, he gave you another, rather condescending look. "You aren't about to puke, are you?" "No," You groaned, shooting him a glare. "Let's just - just get on with it." Draco only tightened his grip on his wand, adjusting his stance. "Clear your mind, and focus." Your chest was painfully tight, sending him a nod of acknowledgement. He seemed to take this as a prompt, as his wand came upward, and he spoke clearly. "Legilimens!" Panic flooded your being as his conscious plummeted into yours, thoughts loud and overbearing as you tried so hard to ignore them - but the feeling was overpowering, utterly overwhelming, and your parents voices were too loud in your ears again. Stop being so overemotional! Compartmentalise! It was too much.   The Forbidden Forest, third year. "Deatheaters like Dementors, don't they?" Laughs and shouts came from around you, their grips hard on your arms. They dragged you through the trees, your feet skimming over fallen branches, stopping you from struggling. You were shouting, protesting, but the grips were tightening more and more. There was a dip in the ground, and then you were falling, hitting the dirt with a thud and rolling over damp mud. "You'll be right at home with the Dementors. Mum and Dad ever talk about them?" Winded, you coughed, heaving as the cheers died down. Icy cold spread over your skin, the sound of deathly wheezing echoing in your ears. Footsteps, fell away and you ran your eyes over the lake - cloaked figures descending around you, predator to prey. You let out a choked sob, gripped with fear. Stumbling to your feet, you began to run, one of the vile creatures swooping in close. Your ears rang as it approached you, and the force of the kiss pushed you back to the ground. Terrified, you curled in on yourself, shivering and freezing. Just kill me, please, just kill me- Another dark blur, and then you were plunged into another setting before you could even attempt to take back an ounce of control. The Room of Requirement filled out around you, bursts of white light shooting across the room. Joy - it was such an unfamiliar feeling, but you welcomed it as your lips stretched into a grin. Hermione Granger shot you an equally wide smile as a bright, white otter swum around her, before jetting towards you, just missing you as your own patronus leaped up into the air. A laugh escaped your lips, echoing in your ears as you stared back at the creature, swiftly moving up, up, up, until - there was an awful shattering, the walls seeming to groan, lights flickering around you. The joy dissipated, and you were left with fear. Words scrawled across your hand, etched into your skin, burning. "Harry! Hey, Harry," You were in the hallway, now, after detention with Umbridge. The trio did not stop, Harry's head only turning briefly as you called. "I need to talk to you," You tried, rushing after them, and he finally stopped, only to spin and fix you with a stare. "It's over." He growled. "Stop making excuses. You told Malfoy, didn't you?" "No!" You begged. "How could you say it was me? You saw Cho-" "Don't bother talking to us again, Y/N." There was rage. A lot of rage, but it only simmered into a terrible self loathing, as you watched them walk away, burning inside. Smoldering. Before another memory could take the previous one's place, you threw yourself out of the memory violently. Stumbling away from him, you dropped to your knees, tears stinging your eyes. Bile burnt the back of your throat as gasping desperately for oxygen. That horrible feeling of rejection took a moment to fully fade, leaving you shivering and hiccuping as tears rolled down your cheeks. "Take your time." Draco sounded a lot closer than he was before, and you pushed yourself to sit upright. Dragging in long, deep breaths, your eyes shut as you wrapped your arms around your legs, curling in on yourself. Shockingly, he didn't have that usual taunt in his tone. When the dizziness finally passed, you dared to open your eyes, wiping your face and giving him a glimpse. Draco looked tense, features tight as he stared back at you. The look in his eye was intense - but other than that, you couldn't quite decipher what emotion it was reflecting. Before you could talk, he extended his hand, and you stared at it for a moment. The out of character act eased the knot of anxiety in your stomach, and you took it, allowing him to help pull you up off the floor, his eyes not leaving you once. Avoidant of that persistent gaze, you sighed. "What?" "What?" Draco raised an eyebrow. "If you've got something to say, then just bloody say it." You snapped, lips curling into a small frown. He continued to watch you, silent, for another second. "Why did you help Potter?" Draco asked, tone edged but not harsh. You blinked in surprise, lips forming a small frown. "What do you mean?" "You joined that group." He stated, as though his question had a very obvious answer. "Why? You get treated like shit by Mudbloods." Hesitating, you faltered, struggling to put words together as he continued to search your expression. "I - I guess I had something to prove," You began, carefully, narrowing your eyes at Draco. His eyes were piercing, brow furrowed with his arms crossed across his chest. "Why do you care, anyway?" "I don't." He spoke, quick, cold. "It just seems idiotic." A spark of anger flickered in your chest, and you tensed your jaw, head shifting to the side ever so slightly. "I don't need your input on my choices, Malfoy." You spoke low, warning, his eyes lighting up as his lips pulled into a small sneer of amusement at your tone. "No, I'm intrigued," Draco pushed, a cruel look flushing over his features. "Tell me why you'd want to fight for the side that took your family away from you." "Shut up." The anger was simmering, breathing shallow as you stared at him. "You really want to save the people that carved up your arm? Fed you to Dementors?" That smirk was vile as it crawled upon his lips, eyes set on you as you struggled to keep your emotions at bay, tears now stinging your eyes. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about." "Because as much as you try to, you're not going to get away from it." The grey in his eyes was cold, the smile falling, leaving him with a dead look that chilled you to the bone. "You're always going to be the daughter of two murderers." Ripping your wand out of your pocket, you flung a wordless spell towards him - he managed to react quickly, throwing himself out the way. The spell, instead, hit the wall, leaving the brick black and singed. Draco gaped, eyes wide, from you to the wall. "That could have killed me!" "You're pathetic." You spat, hot with fury. "You will never, never, understand what it's like to not have a choice." Something flickered in his eyes, and his features pulled in painfully tight. You faltered. You'd never seen him look so angry, except for perhaps the first time you'd seen him in the bathrooms. "You think I had a choice?" Draco hissed, eyes stormy as he glared at you. "You think I fucking wanted this? If I don't do this - my mother will die, I will die!" A terrible silence fell between you. Breathing shallow and heart hammering in your chest, you stared at him, horror settling in your chest. Draco seemed to be just as stunned, shoulders rising and falling harshly, rage still echoing in his now fallen expression. "Do what?" Your voice trembled as you spoke. His eyes darted away from you, before he became vacant again. "It's none of your business." He grumbled, stalking toward the door. "We're done for today." "Draco-" But he had already unlocked the door with the flick of his wand, and you came to stand in the doorway as he strode out the room, vanishing into the darkness of the corridor.

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hi !!! Can I have Arthur x Reader. Reader has heat exhaustion from work and passes out as soon as she gets home. Arthur cools her off and is super worried Also. One where it's the opposite. Reader is slightly hypothermic and Arthur is concerned at how cold she is (She had to walk home in a bad snow storm) Fluff on both plzzz THANK U

Hi , thank you for the request 😊💗 I will write these for you as soon as possible 😊 It might take a couple of days, I hope thats okay ? 😘

UPDATE:

I just wrote the second option and I hope you like it :-)

The cold of the snow hurt your eyes as the icy wind blew mercyless into your face. Your right hand reached for the keys in your pocket. But your fingers felt too numb to grab them. It was the coldest winter you remembered in ages. The thick coat felt like thin a tshirt  covering your skin. You rubbed your face to get the snow out of your eyes but it only made it worse. It felt like you rubbed the cold right in and send shivers down your spine. You formed your hands and put put them to your lips. Even  your breath couldnt seem to warm them up anymore. It wasnt far from home anymore, just a block away, but with the wind blowing more and more snow into your face, every step felt like a chore. You couldnt wait to get home.  Arthur would be worried if he saw you in this condition. Weak and soaked through the bones. You didnt wanted to worry him. Arthur had enough to deal with when it came to his own health. He shouldnt be burdened with your condition on top of that. Maybe if you acted like you`re feeling fine he wouldnt notice how cold your body was. Maybe you could just walk through the door, kiss him on the cheek and hop into bed. Without him noticing that you were about to get sick. You felt it to your bones. Walking through that snow storm was too much for your body. Tomorrow you might have a bad fever. You tried to cover your fave with your scarf, but it was drenched and wet as well. After fighting though that storm you finally arrived at Anderson avenue, Winter in Gotham  was even worse than summer. You once again tried to get your keys as you got into the elevator. The tickelish, numb feeling on your face spread all over your body now. Shaky hands opening the door to apartment 8J. "I`m home, darling" you tried to sound like in a good mood. But your voice was cracky like you had a sore throath. Arthur came out of the bathroom, a make up wipe in his right hand, remains of Carnvals make up on his face. "I`m glad you`re home. I just came back from the childrens hospital. Man, it`s cold out there today. " His curly, green wig  with the small hat was  lying on the floor "Sorry for the mess. I couldnt wait to go to the bathroom and wash my face with some warm water." You nodded and sat down on the couch. The dizzyness overwhelmed you for a moment. "Y/N? Are you okay? You look pale. Are you not feeling well?" He noticed. Of course he did. Arthur always noticed. "I`m fine" you lied "It was just.....the snow storm...as you said...its cold outside...." and ...um...I... "  you tried to concentrate but the words just slipped away before you said them. Arthur put the make up wiped beside and sat down beside you, pressing his palms against your forehead and cheeks "You`re terribly cold! We have to take these wet clothes off." You tried to stand up but the dizzyness wouldnt let you. "You`re feeling dizzy?" "Kinda...." "Thats not good Y/N... c`mon, lets get you dry and put some warm clothes on". Arthur helped you out of your jacket. You immediately felt lighter as you got rid of the cold sweaters and wet scarf. Arthur took your shoes off "They don`t look very water proof Y/N. You should get some water proof shoes. " "Your clown shoes aren`t waterproof as well" He took off your water soaked socks "Don`t worry about me. You are the one with the icy feet here." He started to rub your feet "Oh my god, baby. They`re cold as ice. " His hands checked the rest of your half naked body "Your whole body is. You`re shaking, you`re feeling dizzy! I think you`re suffering from hypothermia." Arthurs worried puppy eyes glanced at you. He hated to watch you getting sick. The last time you had a fever he didnt leave your side for days. "Yeah...suddenly..i`m not feeling very well" you finally admitted, as your breath fastened. Arthur hugged you tightly "We have to help your body to warm up now. There is no time to waste. Arthurs hands wandered all over your body, rubbing your arms, thighs and your back. The warmth coming from his palms was heating up your skin like the hands of a magician. "You`re healing me. Is that a magic trick?" "What?" You felt like talking feverish words. "Magic or something? Its coming from your....hands. Keep on touching me okay?" You never wanted him to stop. You finally started to feel your own body again, but your mind kept drifting away. For a brief moment you couldnt been sure if you were awake or dreaming. "Am I asleep, Arthur?" "No, baby. You`re not.  You`re body cooled down because you got into a snow storm. Remember? I think you might get a fever. We have to warm you up." Arthur took your  icy hands in his and breathed into them. His warm breath filled the insides of your palms. He was breathing slowly, taking the numbness of the cold away, as you felt his breath hot against your tickeling skin. You wanted to hold his breath inside yoir hands forever and keep it like a treasure. After you were able to feel your fingers again, he caressed your chest in small circles. "You`re heart is racing!" Your arms clung to him as he tried to stand up. You didnt wanted to let go of him. ot for a second. You needed to feel the warmth of his body. To smell his skin. The moment he loosened the embrace hurt. "I`ll get you all the blankets we have in the bedroom and a hot water bottle. And I`ll make you a big, hot cup of tea, okay?  But first  put these on. " He handed you his fave sweater. The brown one. You remembered him wearing it when you first met him. You nodded as he helped you get into his sweater. "I love wearin your clothes" you mumbled, feeling like the power has been drained out of you. "I know sweetheart. Thats why I want you to put it on right now. It will help you feeling better soon. Its a magical sweater, you know?" he blinked beforte he  got to the bedroom and came back with so many blankets in his arms you couldnt even see him behind it anymore. He threw them on the couch and asked you to lay down. You felt Arthurs gentle hands wrapping your shaking  body into the blankets. His gentleness was coming through the fabric. He tugged the blankets under your back to make sure you`re compleately wrapped up into a warm fort of cozyness. "Better?" "A lot, Artie, thank you so much..." "I will get you the hot water bottle and the tea now" He was heading into the kitchen like there was no time to waste. Arthur always knew how to make you feel protected. Three minutes later he was back and put the cup to your lips "Careful, baby. Its still hot". "Thank you. You`re so good to me". "No need to thank me. Thats what I am here for, right? To protect you." You smiled. The hot water bottle warmed up your feet, just as Arthurs hands, rubbing them warmed your heart. "How do you know I`m suffering from hypothermia? Maybe I`m just getting a clod." Arthur lit himself a cigarette "I`m sure its the case, because I experienced it before. Remember when I told you that I usedto clib into the fridge when I was suffering from insomnia and was in a very bad mental state?" "Yeah...I remember" "I had the same symtoms afterwards. " You liftet the blankets "Artie, would you join me under the blankets? I`m sure it would help me to warm up". Arthur didnt hesitate to crawl under the blanket. "It hurts me to think of you crawling into the fridge. Can I ask you why you did that to yourself?" Arthur spooned you from behind, you felt his tiney body pressed against your own. "I dont know... comfort...maybe. Hiding from the world. Being in my own bubble for a while." "i`m so sorry, Artie" "Don`t be. I don`t needit anymore. You are my comfort zone now. My own little world, my hiding place, we live in our own bubble of protection. Right?" "We do....and you know what?" He kissed you sweetly on the back of your head. ""It´s warm in there.....in our bubble".

[sherlockfanficwriting]

Sherlock Imagines (x reader)  “Passing out”

 hello, I got this request yesterday and I Luv it. we have all passed out and I had my fair share of times. but unfortunately, I have ended up hitting my bottom painfully on the floor. wouldn’t that be nice if one of them could catch you before doing so? well, maybe it can be. Enjoy! send me more requests!

Sherlock 

“(Y/N), hurry up. Taxi’s waiting!” Sherlock called from downstairs. 

You stood up from your chair, dizzy. Why were you so dizzy? You felt the energy draining fast from your body. Then you suddenly remembered you didn’t eat breakfast or lunch, only a small bottle of water. 

“I’m coming!” You shouted. You walked to the stairs and steadied yourself on the wall.

“Can you move any faster? Important case!” Sherlock said. 

You reached the bottom steps and suddenly lost all your energy. 

“(Y/N)!” Sherlock screamed, quickly moving over to catch you. 

You closed your eyes, weakly. Your body was limp in his hands. 

“Energy. Gone,” you managed to say. 

“Well, I can see that,” he said, picking you up and walking upstairs. 

“Thanks for catching me,” you slowly said, resting your head against his chest.

John 

You walked down the steps of Scotland Yard alongside John. You two were at Lestrade’s office, discussing a new case with him. It was a drag for you ALL day. This morning, you walked about every street in London for the case and probably walked ten million steps too. On top of all that, you forgot to eat - something you did a lot. 

“Now we have to go to 77 Meadow Street,” John said, practically skipping down the steps. 

You couldn’t keep up. You were losing your balance. You managed to walk down the steps and you already saw John near the exit door. You tried catching up. 

“(Y/N), are you okay?” John said, turning around and noticing your slow pace. He walked towards you. 

“John, I dont -,” you said, your head swirling down as you neared the floor, but someone caught you, pulling you up. John sat on the floor, holding you next to him. 

“Bloody hell, did you forget to eat again?” He checked your skin color, pulse, and eyes. 

“Sorry,” you said. 

He shook his head and looked disappointed. 

“Don’t do it again,” he said with a firm tone, but finally cracking a smile when he saw you drifting off to sleep. 

Lestrade 

“(Y/N), would you go downstairs to Anderson and tell him I need the Section 9R copies,” Greg said. 

You slowly got up from your seat across his desk and walked out of the door. 

“You feel alright?” He asked you. 

You turned around and lied to him. “Just a bit tired. I’m fine, really.” 

He smiled and got back to typing. It was a long day for both of you. Endless paperwork and scrambling around London. You walked down the steps to the main floor. It was laa te night, probably 12am. There was barely anyone here. You turned the hallway corner and saw Anderson sitting behind the front desk, drifting asleep.

You walked up to him and tapped his shoulder gently. 

“Hi, (Y/N), yes, sorry. Late night,” he chuckled. 

“Tell me about it. I just need copies 9R for Lestrade.”

He opened up a file cabinet and handed you a stack of papers. 

“Thanks, Anderson. Get some sleep,” you told him. 

“You better too.” 

You trudged along and your walking became slower. You looked around. Absolutely no one. As you walked up the steps, you became dizzier. You needed sleep. Or was it energy? You don’t remember the last time when you slept or ate. Finally reaching the top of the steps, you collapsed. 

“(Y/N), wake up!” Someone shook you lightly, calling your name. 

You opened your eyes slowly. It was Lestrade. 

“Here are your copies,” you said, handing them to him. You tried to stand up, grabbing his shoulders, but you fell down again, this time he caught you. 

“Some sleep, yeah? There’s a couch in my office,” he said, as he carried you inside. 

Moriarty 

You and Jim were relaxing by the pool at night, enjoying the warm summer weather.  Except you weren’t enjoying it so much. You were trying hard not to fall asleep. You felt weak. 

“(Y/N), would you care for some of these chocolates. There is dark, white, and cherry.” 

You groaned. “I’m fine.” 

“You haven’t eaten anything today, did you forget again?” He was concerned facing you. 

You forgot sometimes, you ate, but not much today. You proceeded to get up and as soon as you did so, felt gravity weighing down on you. You were right at the edge of the pool. 

“Jim, I-I really,” you tried to speak, but couldn’t finish. 

“(Y/N), are you...alright?” He asked, trying to find out what was wrong with you. 

Your eyelids shut and you fell into the pool. Gravity won. You didn’t move. You couldn’t. You were so weak and basically blacking out, but you felt Jim pull you up to the surface, pressing his body against your own. He dragged you out of the pool and lied you down. You choked up some water. 

“Thanks, Jim.” 

“I wouldn’t let you drown, but tomorrow I am making you all three meals.”

  Mrs. Hudson. 

“Hello, love, would you like a cuppa?” Mrs. Hudson asked you. 

“Yes, please. I am starving. I have not eaten at all!” You walked to the table and sat down happily. Mrs. Hudson worked her way around the kitchen making you tea and a plate of cookies. You rested your head against your hand, sudden pounding headache. That usually happened if you didn’t eat at all. 

“Here you are, dear,” she said, placing the tray in front of you. It smelled delicious. You weakly lifted up a hand to pick up the tea, which you barely did. Suddenly, you remembered you had to text someone. Your phone was in your purse. You stood up to get it, but your legs collapsed. 

“Oh my!” Mrs. Hudson shrieked. She ran to catch you, but she couldn’t quite. You fell on top of Mrs. Hudson, crushing her as she kept shrieking. She managed to lift you off. 

“Dear, are you alright?” She asked, concerningly. 

You could barely make out a legible word. “I’m fine, just weak.” 

“You must eat, you stay there, now. I’ll get you something.” 

You drifted off to a twilight sleep on the floor as she got up. 

[bigsisterbabysitter]

His Girl 》 Part 2

Promt: Billy and Max are thriving in the Henderson house, but when Billy and Y/N go to a party things get a bit intense and Y/N has a few to many drinks

Warnings: Drinking, Mentions of Past abuse, SMUT

Chapter 2: New Friendships and Summer time Bliss

Billy and Max had been staying in the Henderson House for 3 months as the abuse case got very messy, Susan unfortunately getting into some trouble for never reporting the incidents they awarded Guardian ship to her Step Brother Billy Hargrove. Of course there were still visitations but the relationship was definitely strained. But for the most part everyone's lives were finally becoming peaceful. The school years was comming to a close and the first year of highschool for the party had been a success.

Billy had gotten a job at the local mechanic shop and was absolutely flourishing. Y/N took less of the night shifts at the Gas Station and was looking into other options for work. Once Y/N the Mother Hen of the group next to Steve of course started bringing Billy around more he was accepted with open arms much to Max and Y/Ns delight. He tought the boys about cars and in turn they took him to the arcade and got him in touch with his fun side. It was like a happy family they ate pizza and watched late movies all crashing at whoever's house was the hub that night. On more than one occasion the kids snapped pictures if Billy and Y/N knocked out together on the couch they were just waiting for them to get together at this point.

The Byers returned to Hawkins for the summer, Will and El getting out of school 2 weeks earlier than the others and were staying in a cabin by the lake. Surely that would be where the party spent most of their times this summer.

Billy stood infront of his mirror in the spare room he and Max had been sharing. Though most night he snuck to Y/Ns room to sleep peacefully beside her it was like she was a sheild for his nightmares. Max of course pretended not to notice. He fiddled with his hair anxiously wearing a pair of jeans and his red button down slightly unbuttoned due to the heat. He huffs and sighs jumping when Max speaks from the door way

"You look fine. Y/Ns in the livingroom and shes getting impatient..." she smirks and walks over giving her brother a light punch "go have fun please" she said with a soft look. He hadent done much but hang out at home with her friends and work. Admittedly the thought of the party made him nervous.. Billy Hargrove nervous about a party HAH what a laugh. He smirked and ruffled the red heads hair "alright alright dont have to much fun without me kay?" She pushes him out the door "fine now go" she laughs

When Billy walked into the livingroom his breath cought in his throat. Y/N wore a sunny yellow sundress with thin straps. Her hair was curled and on the sides of her head her hair was braided into a crown with a Daisy hair pin holding it together at the back of her head. She looked so sweet and elegant. He had to shake his head "wow" he whispers

Y/N looked up "finally you take longer than I do!" She laughs grabbing his arm saying her goodbyes Dustin piping up playfully "hey Hargrove have her home by midnight" making Billy blush with a laugh. Y/N would be lying if she said she hadent put extra effort into her look painted her nails and toes a bright summery color and wore a sundress that fell mid thigh. She wore a flowery perfume and had a little makeup on, glossy plump lips and some mascara on those fluttery lashes of hers. She looked killer and she knew it. Climbing into the Camaro they drove to the party together and met up with their friends Steve patting Billy's back reassuringly "hey man just take it slow and have fun" he says as Nancy drug Y/N ofd to dance and chatter away

Billy really started to loosen up and become himself again a drink in hand he talked to a few people from highschool keeping close to Steve. They had gotten pretty close over the few months finding an interest in cars together, it had been helpful to have grown up guy talk. Then Stella whom back in his pkayboy days when he first arrived had been a fling on and off. She was a lanky blonde who wore skimpy cloths and had pretty blue eyes, a cheerleader he chatted her up awkwardly as she kept putting her hands to his chest and giggling. During a slower song she did somthing that cought him off gaurd she kisses him hard he jumped away "Uh sorry but no thanks I'm kinda with someone"

The girl giggled "oh hunny" she slurred "I know you you ain't with anyone" she giggles leaning in again and Billy's fists clenched rage in his eyes "you know NOTHING about me" he snaps she looks up as Steve pulls her away and sends her on her pouty way "hey man shes not worth the time" he pay his shoulder reassuringly. Little did anyone know across the room Y/N had seen them dancing and kissing and her heart was shattered... fine she stomped to the kitchen to hide her tears if Billy could cut loose with some bimbo.. so could she.

Chapter 3: Dunken Tantrums

Much to Nancy's dismay Y/N started to down cup and shots left and right until she lost count. She knew why but she couldn't tell anyone. Y/N was in love with Billy and some other tramp kissed him infront of her. She kept trying to corral the drunk girl as she stumbled around soon Jonathan started trying to help as well as Jonathan was like Y/Ns big brother of sorts since neither of them had fathers they were quick friends in middle school along with Nancy. Steve joined the group in highschool but he was with Billy. Soon there was a loud crash from the kitchen and Nancy yelling as men cheered. Steve looked to Billy confused then on cue Jonathan came pushing through the living room "Y/N" he panted "Drunk. Dancing, table" Steves eyes widened but Billy was already running into the room and was met with the scene.

Nancy stood arms out starched behind the table incase her friend fell Y/N danced swiveling her hips and squealing with her arms in the air. It wasnt on purpose but with here being up there the boys below got a nice view up her dress at a white Lace thong. They cheered and clapped as she danced to Pour some sugar on me by Def Leopard her drunken gaze met Billy's shocked face and she Squealed "Billy!! You're heeeerreee did ya finish up with Stelllaaaa" she slurs leaning forward with a giggle. This elects applause as her cleavage is pressed together as she bends down.

Billy looked at the dunken girl "Y/N common" he says brows furrowed together. He cringed when she mentioned Stella. She didnt actually think that did she? It hurt his feelings a little to think she saw what everyone had seen a heartless play boy. "Common Sweerheart get down" he said firmly. She swated at his hand "nnnoope they lllike me!!" She pouted at him. One guy sits himself on the table "yeah we like her Hargrove" he runs his hand up her calf and the back of her thigh giving her round ass a pinch making her squeak"

Billy is furious grabbing the man by the shirt he yanks him up and slams him into the wall "you touch her again" he grins through his teeth "I'll kill you" he snaps like a feral dog the guy snorts "what's your problem Hargrove you blew it, it's our turn" when the man said our turn like she was a duck doll Billy lost it hauling back with a scream of rage and punched him in the face, the man flailed punching back landing one to hisntight cheek but it was weak wouldn't even leave a bruise. Billy held him to the ground and punched him over and over. Y/N looked at Billy gasping "Billy!" She cried out Nancy ran over grabbing Billy's fist "ENOUGH" She yells Y/N feels dizzy her heel slips but thankfully Jonathan was right there catching the messy girl in his arms "okay alright Y/N up we go" he coos to her as she stumbles "atta girl' he pushed her hair back and held her. Steve was busy getting rid if the crowd and blocking the exit as Y/N kept trying to escape.

Billy stopped when Nancy grabbed him his eyes furious. He say Jonathan catch Y/N thankfully and he shook his fist as it was sore knuckles split he looked at Nancy who said "look I cant really explain but you need to take her home.. after you and Stella... shes just really upset okay" Billy was confused but nodded "yeah okay" he walked over grabbing Y/N by the waist when she squirmed away from Jonathan "I'm sorry guy" he mutters throwing the yelling girl over his broad shoulder. She kicks and curses and pounds on his back and he ignores her putting her in the camaro and buckling her in. He gets in with a angery sigh and starts driving.

Y/N is drunk and angery her emotions running rapid. Clenching her fists she starts to scream like a toddler pounding her fists on the seat either side of her thighs "STOP THE CAR LET ME OUT" she shrieks. "No you're drunk" he snarls at her. But hes forced to pull over as she unbuckled herself and stated opening the door. He slams the breaks pulling over on the empty road "what the hell is wrong with you?!" He yells as she gets out

Y/N is hyperventilating walking a few feet from the car she grips her hair and yells at the forest to their left "ITS NOT FAIR" she yells going from loopy to emotional. Her hands tremble and Billy gets out of the car "Y/N what the fuck isnt fair what's you're problem. The Stella thing? News flash I didnt kiss her back!" She spins around "No she cant have you!" She yells shaking he looks at her blankly "What are tou talking about?! Jesus fucking christ why are you so mad about this why do you even care?!" She couldn't breath her tears came streaming out down her cheeks "no no no she cant that was suposed to be me!" She sobs falling to her knees the truth comes pouring out of her lips she rocks forward crying slapping her hands against the warm pavement like a child "I'm your girl not her!" She cried sobs racking through her body "I'm your girl" she shakes her head repeating herself

Billy stares at her in awe his heart breaks for the woman before him throwing a tantrum on the empty rode and he regrets even talking to Stella when she cries about being his girl he wants to cry with her. Hes loved her since the night she cleaned him up thats when he knew he was in love and it scared him like hell. He knelt down infront of her pulling her close "shhh shhh shh" he says rocking her small form "I'm sorry okay I'm sorry let's go home Angle let's go home okay" he whispers into her hair his heart breaking at the fact that he made her cry like this

Picking her up bridal style as her whimpers died down Billy places her in the passengers seat carefully. He presses his lips to her forehead and then drives them home.

Chapter 4: Handle with Care

She started to calm down her breathing normal curled up in the seat. It's only 10pm but the others were no where around thank god. He helped her walk inside and took her to her room. She sat on the bed wiping her eyes as she started to sober up. Billy had left and returned with a glass of water and some Asprin having her drink the entire glass. He sat on the bed beside her silently. She fiddled with the edge of her dress as she started to relize exactly what she had done. Her heart is pounding un her chest her buzz still remains but she was clear headed. They sat quietly for over 20 minutes before Billy turned to her. He looked her in her eyes and grabbed her face. Kissing her deeply. She gasped softly as he deepens the kiss holding her face to his he nips her plump lip softly and she pushes herself forward climbing into his lap wrapping her arms around him he grips her waist tightly "god I've wanted to do this for so long" he growls "I'm so sorry Y/N" he says softly pressing kisses to her cheeks and jaw she shakes her head "I'm sorry I was being so stupid I got jealous and lost it" she says tilting her head to the side as he trails down her neck

Billy sucks loves bits down to the sweet spot where her neck and shoulder meets and bites down "you are my girl Y/N. You're my girl" he promises. She pulls his face back up to hers and kisses him deeply her hips unintentionally starting against his and he groans against her lips and their bruising kiss. She stops her movements and he growls "dont stop" he snaps out using his hands to move her against him bunching up her dress to get more friction.

The feeling over her lace covered pussy rubbing against his jean clad erection drives her crazy a whole new buzz taking over her body his hands travel from her waist to her ass gripping the soft skin she squeaks and she grips the hairs at the nape of his neck giving a soft tug electing a growl from deep in his chest she bits her lip looking at him with lust filled eyes. His own eyes hold the same look. Standing up holding her up he spins around and throws her onto her bed. She looks up at him her heart pounding as he crawls on top of her pushing the skirt of her dress up. He runs a hand down the front if her thong and kisses the top of her chest as he slides a finger through her folds slowly. Stopping to tease her clit she let's out soft little moans and he hums with a smirk "shhh can't draw any attention here love" he coos slipping a finger past her slick entrance she cries out and he places his free hand over her mouth as he fingers her slowly. 2 fingers curling into her G spot she moans under his grip and arches her back looking down at him and he smirks running his tounge over his teeth like a hungry wolf. This made her shiver just staring into those icey blue eyes. Just as she started to wither coming close tonger climax he removed his fingers making her whimper under his hand "not yet princess" he hums smirking sitting up he yanks her panties down her legs. Shes up just as fast pulling him by hisnshiet undoing his buttons. Her hands run over his tanned muscular skin fingers soft against his scars she looks up sweetly kissing each one individually. He stands shocked for a moment looking down as shes so tender with him

Her fingers worked at his belt as she kissed her way down his hops. Tugging down his pants and underwear letting his erection spring free. She hummed as she let him slip passed her lips and he grunts lacing his fingers in her hair. As she sucked him running her tounge along the underside of his cock. He felt himself twitch and he pushed her back. Drool dripping from her chin with a gasp and he crawls up her body on the bed "I need 5o be inside you" he growls she bites her lip and spreads her legs daringly "then come on in" she teases

Smirking he pulls her dress off of her aggressively and attacks her breasts with kisses and sucks. Lining himself up with her entrance she whimpers impatiently. Her heart racing as he slips inside froaning into her brests " fuck you're so tight princess" he groans into her skin and she threaded her fingers through his curls. His hopes moved slowly letting her get used to his size before he began to snap his hips faster pounding into her she had to cover her own mouth for fear of waking the house

Leaning back up he holds her thighs apart leaving fingerprint bruises in her skin. He looked down at her as she withered and moaned beneath him "mmm what a good girl" he cooed and she smiled up at him her brests bounce with each thrust and she uncovers her mouth eyes rolling back as she tightened around him and he smirks "are you going to come for me princess?" He asks growling as he picks up his speed pounding all the way deep side her "Yes!" She almost yells her toes curling her fists gripping the sheets and he barks "Cum for me" and his words have her unraveling her back arches and he reaches down pinching her swollen little clit pushing her further off that edge. He groans watching her come undone and hes close behind. Pulling out letting her legs fall he pumps himself in his fist rapidly painting her stomach and hips with his cum. He looks down at her state panting. Her brests rise and fall with her breaths. The small bruises on her thighs and the hickey on her neck surrounded by a soft bite mark. Pulling in his boxers he leaves only to come back with a wash cloths wiping her down as she can hardly move.

He grabs her a clean pair of panties and one of his tshirts and dresses her. She lifts his hips for him smiling arms above her head. Sitting up she slips his tshirt on and he climbs into the bed beside her. Pulling her under the covers he laces his fingers in her hair and kisses her head muttering "That's my girl" massaging her scalp softly. They fall asleep tangled in eachother, that was the first time Billy loved anyone in this way. And she would be his only love.

[justsomebandfanfics]

Darkness and Hysteria - Part One - Austin Carlile ft. OM&M

Hey, so I dont know if you’ll write something like this but I really had a shitty day and I thought I try and request something. Maybe where you are austin carliles girlfriend and are on tour with him but then at night the bus gets in a crash...  

This is written (as stated further in the above request) in Austin’s P.O.V. - considering making this a two/three parter... thoughts? - 1,531 words - written by Emma.

Austin’s P.O.V.

“This weather is bloody terrible.” You grunt.

This storm has been going on since last night. It’s now 7pm, usually at times like this in the summer it would still be light out. But the sky is covered in dark clouds which just leaves the sky a dull grey. You sigh.

“Only because you live for sun and beaches.” Y/N, your girlfriend, remarks, smiling as she peeps up from her book.

“How can you even read in, in…” You gesture to the window. “This.” You spit the word like it’s venom. Although your words are twined in sarcasm, you do hate shitty weather.

Y/N shrugs as she takes a look out of the window. “I just like reading.” She reopens her book again and her eyes drift.

Her Y/E/C focus on the pages and you watch them follow the lines. She looks up for a split moment and her irises glimmer as she looks at you and you both share a smile. As a grin lances on her crepe pink lips, you lick over your own. She’s so beautiful, even with her hair messily - yet neatly - tied back. You don’t know how you could get so lucky.

However, the heavy pattering on the bus windows is enough to make you groan again. Your eyes don’t stay focused on Y/N’s face as they settle outside once more where you watch rain endlessly smack against the roads.

“You never stop groaning, do you?” Tino says to you from the opposite seat of Y/N.

Deliberately, you let the moan intensify over a stretched period of time and echo loudly.  

“Stop groaning, you grinch.” Jenn answers your annoying ring.

“It’s not even Christmas.” You reply, pulling a mimicking face.

“Either way, nobody likes you because you’re being miserable and irritating.” Tino answers for her, chuckling.

“Ha, ha. So funny.” You roll your eyes and your glance settles at Aaron and Amanda, who are both out cold on the sofa behind Tino and Jen, head against head. “How can they be asleep? It’s like the titanic out there!”

“Stop being so melodramatic, you big baby.” Jen says to you. “It is not the titanic.”

Pointing to the water that’s streaming down the roads, you answer, “You never know, I could drown out there.”

“I wish. Then we could get some peace and quiet.” Phil says loudly from the seats behind Y/N, where he and Anouk are.

“Rude.” You murmur, quieting down, you think of sitting beside Y/N, whose nose is still wedged in her book.

“Stop being such a whiny ass.” Alan calls out as he wanders through from the bunk area, joining the bash-on-Austin parade. Strolling up to you, he sits in the chair that faces Y/N. 

“I am not being a whiny ass.” You mumble, before receiving unappreciative looks from everyone – you are being a whiny ass. “Fine, I’ll go bug Terry instead.” Terry is your bus driver.

“You go do that, baby.” Y/N gives you the thumbs up, eyes not leaving her book.

You mimic her in a girly voice. “You go do that, baby.” She looks at you then cocks an eyebrow, you pout at her.

Scrunching her nose, she pouts back before holding her book up to her face again.

"Well, doesn't seem like you've got a better view than us in the other part of the bus." You say, approaching Terry. 

He shakes his head. "Definitely not." 

"Can't even look straight out there." You say, looking through the windscreen. 

Every second the wipers are going back and forth, but a shit tonne of rain just comes hammering back. It's like a river steaming down the windscreen. You're surprised Terry can even see. 

"Surely, this isn't safe." You say, gesturing to the window. 

It's so dark and cloudy out there you can barely see the road. The fog and mist seem to combine to cloud the roads, making it extremely difficult to even see headlights from other vehicles. You can just about see ten feet in front of the bus. 

"It isn't." Terry answers, jaw clenched. "All this heavy wind and gushes of rain smashing down... I don't trust it, it gives me a bad feeling." 

As soon as those words leave Terry's mouth, you feel a little uneasy. 

"Then, then why are we driving in it?" You ask, that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. 

"We need to get somewhere decent at least. We can't pull over in the middle of nowhere... Maybe if there's a gas station or something, I'll pull over and we could try waiting it out." Terry says, which makes you feel a little better. 

"I hate this weather, it's a real downer." You mutter. "Want anything to drink? I'm grabbing myself a bottle of water." You're happy to change the topic. 

"Sure thing." Terry nods. "Grab me a water too?" 

"Yep, okay. I'll be a moment." You say, turning around. 

"Oh no, he's back." Jenn giggles, seeing you walk back through the section. 

"Did Terry get fed up within a few minutes too?" Alan chuckles. 

You continue walking to the fridge. "Very funny, guys, ha-ha." You try to keep your tone sarcastic and funny, but you're not sure if it worked. 

"You okay, baby?" Y/N asks, looking over her shoulder, book closed in her hands. "You sound a little off." 

Walking back through equipped with water, you attempt to smile. "Just feeling ill, that's all." You halt by her's and Alan's seats, resting on it. 

"Mhm." Y/N sighs. "You look a little unwell, actually. Is there anything I can do to help?" Her hands touch your lower arm. 

"Just, stay beautiful." You smile down at her. 

And with that, you bend down, cupping her face. Lightly, you press your lips together, that benevolent feeling pulsing in your heart. Irresistibly, you grin against her mouth, causing her to smile too. 

"I love you." She says, gazing up into your eyes. 

"And I love you." You answer, resting your head on your shoulder for a moment, adoring her.

Soon enough, you rejoin Terry by the wheel of the bus. The weather has had no improvement, instead, it looks worse in the few minutes you’ve been gone. Handing him a bottle of water, he nods a thanks as he takes a swing, looking out to the road again. Opening your bottle, you drink some too, but still feel nauseous as something inside of you is telling you that something bad is going to happen.

You look at Terry, who is worriedly squinting his eyes trying to picture what’s on the other side of the windscreen.

“Can you do me a favour and look up where the next gas station is?” He grunts over his shoulder to you. “Or.. anywhere,” He adds hastily. “Anywhere we can just pull in and stop, in fact. I’m barely making it around these corners.” He shakes his head, beads of sweat visibly gathering on his forehead. 

“Of course, of course.” You say, pulling your phone out of your pocket and opening your maps application. The lack of signal causes your app to glitch as you try to find your current location. “Come on.” You shake your phone in your hands, feeling frustration settle in your head, just wanting to find somewhere to stop.

You sigh when release once the arrow finally locates you on a lonely, long, bland road. “Gas station...” You hum to yourself, clicking the ‘services’ function and hoping somewhere can be found local enough to the bus. The slow function again makes you irritable, you hit your phone against the door frame you’re leaning on.

Once loaded, you click on the nearest services result. “It’s only 5 miles away.” You breathe thankfully, turning your phone to face Terry, showing him the station nearby.

Terry shares the sigh of relief, “thank you, Austin”, he says. Taking one hand off of the wheel, he faces you and takes your phone from your hands to show him the way.

You mosey around a bend of the road, but you spy something again. Something dark, something blocking the driving path, something massive.

The next ten seconds hit you painfully slow.

“Terry! Terry!” You shout in panic, nearly throwing yourself into the windscreen. 

It’s a tree. A fallen roadside tree has collapsed over the whole width of the road, it’s roots upturned and everything. Big piles of dirt and stone protecting it.

Terry spins the steering wheel hectically in hope he could try and dodge. Upon realisation that it’s too late, he shouts out in terror, the wheels losing their footing completely, sending the bus into a frenzy.

What happens next happens far too quickly. You can’t even turn, you can’t dash into the main area of the bus to yell for everyone to get down, you can’t even look at Y/N. 

The echoing of screeching tyres and others’ screams shatter your ear drums, but before you can throw your hands to cover your ears, the force of the spinning bus sends your head into the frame of the driving compartment. You feel immediate bruising to your temple, before your vision blurs and you topple over in a dizzy hysteria.

[xxx-cat-xxx]

I don´t need to be the hero tonight

Another Iron Man Sickfic. This time he´s in a pretty bad shape both physically and mentally due to a battle lost, but, being Tony, tries to pretend that all is well in front of May and Peter. Set sometime after Spiderman: HC, assuming that May knows about the true nature of Peter´s internship by then. h/c, emeto, that´s it. For anyone wondering, the title is from a song I was listening to while writing (as in the first two fics I wrote).

I´d love to hear what you think about it.

Tony was mentally done with the day before it had even started. But he had promised Peter to accompany him and May on a picnic, and Tony Stark took pride in being man who kept his promises. So, he limped into the elevator that brought him down to the garage, dragged himself into one of his sports cars and set off to pick up his protégé .

He groaned when he left the highway and turned into a road filled with potholes that marked the entrance to Peter´s neighbourhood. Tony was hurting all over - nothing too serious, but enough to make him more than uncomfortable, especially when the car wanted him to witness every bump in the pavement.

He had taken heavy hits in the fight the day before, was covered in bruises and still bleeding from small to medium-sized wounds in several places. He was probably lightly concussed - at least the pounding ache in his head and the slight nausea in his stomach told him so, but he couldn´t be sure since he had not bothered to consult medical after the battle had taken a turn from bad to worse.

But to be honest, the headache might also stem from the indecent amounts of scotch in which he had tried to drown his anger after reaching back, or from the fact that he had just completed his third sleepless night in a row. He had actually planned on getting to bed early yesterday, not wanting to show up all zombie-like on Peter´s doorstep, but the debrief-turned-lecture had taken till 2 in the morning, and then his armour had been in dire need of repair, which was something he never, ever put off to later.

When he had been done mending the suit, the sun had already been up, and weighing the benefits of two hours napping against the amount of energy it would have taken to drag himself out of bed, he had opted for a long shower and a few cups of coffee in front of the TV instead. Which had done nothing to improve his mood, since footage of the inglorious battle had been playing up and down on every single channel in the country.

When he pulled up in front of May´s appartment, Peter was already waiting outside, and he couldn´t help but smirk at the happy smile on the kid´s face. He tried to get out of the car as smoothly as possible, but his swollen left knee protested at the movement and he couldn´t suppress a wince when he stood. Peter noticed and opened his mouth to ask, but Tony cut him off when May appeared.

“Pete, you never told me you were hiding a secret sister somewhere?” he joked, waving at May.

“And he never told me that you left engineering and are doing professional boxing now?” she rebutted, taking in the impressive shades of red and blue that decorated Tony´s face, before giving him a tight hug. “It´s nice to see you, Tony.”

As soon as they were sitting in the car, Peter started questioning him.

“What happened yesterday, Mr Stark? You got pretty beaten up, didn´t you?”

Tony frowned while turning down the heavy metal blarring from the car´s speakers. “Ya, kid, not really our most glorious moments. Would rather we don´t talk about it now?”

“But you should have called me! I could have helped, I-”

“No way, kiddo.” Tony gave him a serious look through the rear mirror. “That yesterday was NC-17, that was way above your paygrade. Apart from that, you had an exam, didn´t he?” He nodded in May´s direction for confirmation.

“Phh...” Peter blew out air angrily.

“Still, Tony”, May said in a softer voice, “you look pretty pale, are you alright? We saw you being thrown into that building on TV, Peter was worried all night you wouldn´t show up...”

“Hey, I wasn´t  really - that´s not fair,” Peter interrupted her, his face flushing red.

“I´m good”, Tony said, blinking away his ever-growing headache “Have a little faith, it takes more than a few criminals gone wild to bring down Iron Man.”

---

May and Peter had tried hard to produce a perfect picnic, and Tony felt guilty about how he just couldn´t really bring himself to enjoy. He pretended alright, chatting away, cracking jokes and having a competition with May about who could embarass Peter the most. He complimented May on her dress (which was in fact very nice) and the homemade food she´d brought (which was not). But in between, he could feel his mind drifting back to the battlefield, replaying the scenes, thinking about what he could have done different to yield a better outcome.

But the truth was, with a team that practically only consisted of him, Nat and his armours, with Rhodey on comm duty since he still hadn´t been cleared to fight, there was only so much he could do in a situation where they were significantly outnumbered. He didn´t want to admit it, but they would have needed Steve Rogers out there. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He felt himself grow more and more tired over the course of the morning, the lack of sleep finally catching up with him. Every muscle in his body was aching, the bruises and cuts throbbing in the rhythm of his heartbeat. His head was definitely hurting bad now, the too-bright summer sun constantly sending jolts of pain through his brain, and he wished he´d brought some Excedrin. He briefly considered asking May whether she carried any painkillers, but he didn´t want to give himself away, didn´t want to ruin the lighthearted atmosphere by getting them worried over him.

When they finally made to leave, he stood up too fast while trying to help May fold the picnic rug, and the world suddenly dissolved into pixels of blackness. Tony felt himself swaying on his feet, grasped for something to steady himself and only found Peter´s arm. He held onto it tightly while the ground tilted away from him and reality took too long to reassamble in front of his eyes.

When he could see halfway clearly again, he was on the ground, May and Peter hovering over him, their faces tainted with concern. So much for not getting them worried.

“Tony? Can you hear me?” May asked.

“Yeah, I can. I´m sorry, I´m alright”, he breathed while slowly sitting up, feeling shaky and stupid.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Peter asked, his voice high and shrill in Tony´s ears.

“I just, kind of, got dizzy for a moment.” He took the hand Peter offered to pull himself upright, trying to look like he didn´t need it, trying not to let vertigo bring him down again, and trying not to put too much weight on his bad knee.

“You didn´t sleep last night, did you?” the kid asked.

Tony´s silence was answer enough.

“Okay, we´ll get you home and then you rest, Tony.” May said with an authority in her voice Tony hadn´t noticed before. “Just get into the car, I´ll drive us back.”

“Hey, this is a very expensive model, dont break anyth- ” he was cut off with a glance that made him understand why Peter would sometimes be afraid of that woman. He briefly considered insisting that he should drive - it was is car, after all - but then deemed it not worth the argument. Also, he had to admit that he was probably not in the condition to walk a straight line right now, let alone operate a vehicle. He was seeing everything through a blurry haze, and things seemed to be moving at a lower speed than they usually did.

They drove in silence. Tony was too exhausted to come up with anything to say, and Peter, who was sitting at the back with him, was evidently unsure about how to behave. He kept on shooting him worried glances every few seconds until Tony had enough of it.

“Geez, kid, stop glaring. I´m not gonna pass out on you.” It came out harsher than intended. God, he was tired. And nauseous. He was starting to taste May´s homemade blueberry cake at the back of his mouth, and he desperately wished that they would make it back fast.

Peter just looked at him, a little sadness in his eyes. “That wasn´t what I was thinking about. It´s just...you need to start taking care of yourself, Mr Stark. You just keeled over and I, I-” he broke off, looking at May for help.

“Noone would have been angry if you had called the picnic off today, Tony.” she said quietly. “Of course we want to spend time with you, but we would have understood if you had taken the day off to rest.”

Tony knew they were right. But he also knew that the person they were talking about, a person who would cancel commitments just because he´d taken a few hits and hadn´t slept a while, was not and never could be Iron Man. So he didn´t reply, instead opting to lean his aching neck back against the headrest and close his eyes.

---

He woke up to his stomach turning over when May took a particularly narrow curve. “Shit”, he cursed under his breath. That was definitely not how the day was supposed to go. He fought down a gag, tasting bile at the back of his mouth.

“May, pull over, please - “ he urged, swallowing heavily. May took only a few seconds to bring the car to a hold at the side of the forest road. He scrambled through his brain for a viable excuse while unbolting his seat belt with shaky fingers, but he couldn´t find any. There was no time, anyways. He felt cold sweat breaking out over his brow while his stomach went into contraction.

He stumbled out of the car and limped a few meters into the forest as fast as he could, desperate to get out of eyesight, before he bent over and retched violently. He brought up undigested food he had eaten at the picnic, the smell of it making him even more nauseous. He heaved again, pain zig-zagging through his body, his worn out muscles protesting against the strain. His head was threatening to burst into pieces.

It took what felt like years for his stomach to empty itself, and Tony was trying to catch his breath when he heard Peter´s voice hesitantly calling out from behind him.

“Mr Stark, do you need help?”

“I´m good, kid” Tony croaked, his voice hoarse from retching. “Be right back, don´t come he-”

“Oh. Yikes.” Peter stepped out from behind a tree, cringing when he saw the mess on the ground.

“Told you not to come here.” Tony said weakly, wiping a shirt sleeve over his mouth and leaning heavily against a tree when vertigo made the world sway again.

“I´m okay, just, give me a minute.” he breathed, “and please don´t let May see me like this, seriously.”

“Ya, she´s not stupid. She sent me to check you´re not dead.” He took in Tony´s trembling form, frowning. “Not sure what to tell her, though.”

“I´m just....” he trailed of, unable to bring himself to lie to the kid again. “Fine, I´m not okay right now. But I will be, I promise.” He breathed in slowly. “Just took a bad beating yesterday, and I´m not good at losing. But it´s not the first time, and I´m gonna get over it. Just please don´t worry so much, Pete.”

Tony glanced over at him, trying for it not to look pleading. He was hurting everywhere, feeling like he might pass out or puke again any minute, couldn´t get that god-damn fight out of his head, and on top of it all, he had managed to get the kid genuinely upset over his lack of self-care. He had failed on all levels, and he just couldn´t handle all the emotions raining down on him right now. 

Peter seemed to look right through him for a minute.

“You want some water?” he offered finally, and Tony gratefully took the bottle to rinse his mouth. He allowed Peter to put a supporting arm around his shoulders while they slowly made their way back to the car.

“You know, Mr Stark,” Peter said when they had nearly reached the street where May was waiting, “I get it that you are upset about that battle. But... I saw the footage on TV. And if I just one day in my life put up a fight like you did yesterday, I´d be really proud of myself.”

And for the first time that day, Tony felt himself hiding not only his pain, but a genuine smile from Peter Parker.

[5questions]

Peter BD

as the young man gazed up at the eclipse

he thought

“damn, i’m looking at

the

eclipse”

So begins acclaimed poet Peter BD's dizzying journey into the depths of the textual Self, in which reflexive phrases play off one another like a thousand points of light shining through a fifth of cognac and illume the striving and conniving which defines our current moment. From treatises on chicken to the moral quandaries of Winona Ryder, touchstones of the Now seep through Peter's verse like osmosis like milk through lace like the blinking of your fifth eye. Buoyant humor and steely irony mix together to form a wild combination which goes down easy but lingers with you for the rest of the day.

BUY IT TODAY FROM INPATIENT PRESS

How many of your famous/infamous email letters have you sent out? By your estimation, what's the ratio of positive to negative feedback you have received (could also throw in neutral)? Or is it hard to categorize them as such? What are the most wild responses you have ever gotten? Define 'wild' as you will. 

i'm not sure how many stories i've emailed people. i've never kept count. in the beginning i'd write a lot of people things but don't do it now as much as i used to. all i can say is that it's probably a big number overall. or maybe not. sorry for not being able to answer this one. feedback to the stories is either positive, neutral or no response at all. i'd say it's about 60% positive and 40% neutral. this is just going on my responses in my inbox. i don't have any social media besides twitter so unsure what the overall reaction is, if there is any. no one really replies to me in a negative way. i remember one person corrected my grammar once which was funny. i think my most memorable negative response came from you. i sent you a 3 part email and here was your response: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE STOP SENDING ME YOUR FUCKING EMAILS ITS FUCKING FICTION I HATE YOU PEOPLE JUST KIDDING ABOUT ONE OF THOSE PARTS NOT ALL OF THEM FUCKING ASSHOLE I AM UNIMAGINATIVE I STALK PEOPLE GIRLS BOYS WOMEN MEN ANIMALS PLANTS SO FUCK YOU DID YOU HACK MY EMAIL PLEASE DONT IM SORRY I  LOVE YOU PLEASE LOVE ME BACK this was one of the most memorable responses because it's around the time i first started doing this and also because it's wild. i guess it's more wild than negative. whatever it is i enjoyed it. i don't receive too many wild responses but one i did enjoy was when this artist named jacob sanders wrote a song about me. i was working this shitty job and was up at 5 am when i received it. it just talked about how i can accomplish whatever i want or something like that. i was really happy at work that day haha. it made feel really good and humbled that someone would do that for me. i think someone sent me a dick pic once. that was wild. another person responded to one of my stories with a story of their own about me that was thousands of words. that was wild as hell.

What was the writing process like for your recently released book? How did you decide on your publisher? 

i don't think i would've written these poems if i hadn't gotten sick last winter. i had a lot of down time and just began writing a bunch of short poems/stories every day. i saved them in my drafts not thinking anything would come of them. i probably wrote hundreds of them. then one day, over the summer, i was eating a burrito somewhere and mitch anzuoni from inpatient press approached me and asked if i was writing anything he could publish. he saw me read at an event and guess he thought i was book publishing material. we talked for awhile and that's how this 'milk and henny' idea came to life. i didn't even have a finished work to present him and we already got to the point of discussing a second book. it was really weird and serendipitous. so i went back in my drafts, put together some things i liked, and presented them to mitch as a powerpoint presentation a couple of weeks later. i didn't even know if anyone would like the poems except me. it was all pretty random haha

What's your day-to-day life like? Will you answer this question?

my day to day depends on what day it is. either i'm at work, or recently, going to see some doctor. i've been feeling ill again but anytime i go to get checked out they tell me i'm 100% fine so maybe my illness isn't easily traceable or it's all in my head.

i write some days. other days i just read. i think i'm gonna meet a friend to get drinks in a couple of hours. life is pretty random these days. i'd like some stability. being alive is strange and hard as you know.

How do you find your online persona to be different than your real life personality? Is there any separation between these two or just different gradations and systems of perception that make the two seem separate? 

at this point i think how i present myself online is similar to my real life personality. i went from thinking i'd just do this for a couple of months and then go to grad school to it becoming who i am completely. it probably sounds dumb, but creating this fake internet character brought me closer to myself. most likely, i would've gone to medical or pharmacy school if i hadn't began writing when i did. being in the sciences seems crazy to me now, even though the money would've been nice. this is a hard question to answer completely because i think we all show people certain aspects of ourselves and hide others. i don't feel any different than anyone else in terms of persona presentation although what i do might seem strange to some. 

my family and a couple of my friends still don't know about whatever this is that i do. maybe i don't think it's important enough to tell them or maybe i just want to keep it to myself. probably the latter. there's some shit that you just need to have for yourself, ya know? especially when it comes to being creative. i think growing up i was steered away from the arts and told that i had to do something practical. but now that i'm a grown up i can be as impractical as i want to be 

What are the best things you have read in the past year? Why? 

a read a lot but i didn't read as much in 2017. trying to change that this year. i really liked this book by ralph ellison called living with music. it's a collection of his jazz writings but it's mostly about music in general. a lot of what he says applies to music of today and how people react to it. he's very good at criticism. i picked up rome poems by pasolini off my roommates bookshelf and enjoyed it. ed mullany gave me man and his symbols by carl jung. i'm enjoying it thus far because certain topics that he discusses interest me lately. it's strange how you can begin a book and it ties into what you're going through in your life. there's nothing like a good book to take you somewhere else for however long you're reading. it's like a instant mental vacation. 

i read twitter daily. that's where i get most of my news. i want to read more richard wright this year. and octavia butler. i want to read a lot of the books i saw on your bookshelf. excited for your upcoming book. there's never enough time to read all these good ass books that exist.

[paleconda]

blog- 9th february.

i- as an american doing pretty damn well job of pulling off as british- do not like to do american-like things. such having having wet and cringe humour, being unnecessarily loud, being blatantly ignorant on world culture/affairs (no offence), and especially opening myself up. one thing i’ve noticed is that brits always keep to themselves and rarely discuss thier deep feelings and thoughts with other people. they’re not very open to tel you their life story, and i’m the same way.not to say that i’m not down to earth, bc i very much am. i just stay quaint when it comes to public situations. that being said, my journey and story on my sexuality is very personal, deep and complicated, and unfortunately, i feel like i have to go into massive detail on what’s all happened and how it’s impacted me. it’ll make me vulnerable, but easier to understand and empathise with. this is going to be a particularly long read tho.

the date is 07/07/2010. it was the summer before the 7th grade and i had just realised my sexuality only a few months earlier. the worst night of my life. the night my parents found out about my sexuality. i was only 12. but the way the found out was rather quite stupid and embarrassing (no i wasn’t wanking and it wasn’t porn). at the time, i didn't have a phone. and my favourite show would come on at 1 am. but i didn't feel like staying up late, so what i did was borrow my grandmas phone and set an alarm. well in the alarm it had an option for a message. well my dumbass self put “get the hell up you bisexual fucker”. yeah. well, when my grandma went to puerto rico for a funeral, she left her phone bc she wouldn’t have any service over there. and i had forgotten to take off that alarm. so my mom is just going thru the phone (idk why) and she happens to come across it. she calls me downstairs and confronts me about it. after about 10 minutes what seems like an interrogation ( and me not talking, i felt as tho i had no choice but to admit it). they started crying and told me how its never okay even if the world says it is, and they brought up sodom and gomorrah and told me i needed to have a long prayer. my relationship with them hasn't never really been the same since then. so after that, i kinda ignored thinking about my sexuality. i would just go thru my day, occasionally look at gay pictures at night, then go to sleep. then, toward the end of 7th grade, i ended up taking nudes and sending them on http://showyourdick.com (terrible, i know) and they. ended. up. seeing. the. pics. it made things a shit tonne worse. i was still closeted at school, i had been accused of being gay as early as 4th grade, before i even knew i was gay (im actually bi/pan, but lets just use the word gay for now). fast foward to the beginning of 9th grade (late 2012). i had already been stanning nicki for almost a year, but i was still closeted. i also had a tumblr account(not this one). not only did i still kinda feel bad about being gay, but i was terribly insecure as well. i ended up starting to cut myself around late September. but for a while it was only on my thighs bc i didnt want anyone to see. later, in january 2013, i was feeling really depressed one night, and i kinda went on a cutting tirade. (trigger warning) i even cut my arm. i remember feeling the warm blood running down my leg and feeling dizzy, with my ears fogging up and nearly passing out in the bathroom. this next part may sound wierd. maybe its just me, maybe it was the fogging in my ears, idk. but i remember hearing nickis voice, almost aloud, and she said Stop. crazy init.  the next morning, i got really scared, bc my sleeve wouldn't completely cover up the scars. well, one of my teachers saw (i still dont know who) and reported it to the office, and one of the guidance counselors called my parents and told them. another really bad day. the next day, my guidance counselor called me down, even the principle came in the room. they told me they were sending me to a place where i would have therapy. i agreed to it, but i wasnt aware that i would be forced to spend 3 nights there. its called being Baker Acted.  the deputy at my school called my mom and told her where they were taking me but they didn't tell her i was required by law to spend 72 consecutive hours there. so when she came to pick me up that night, thats when she found out. needless to say she was crying. alot. and as if it wasn't bad enough, it just so happened to be her wedding anniversary.  i end up relapsing 2 more times after that whole ordeal. the last time was march 9th, 2013. so things temporarily improve for the summer. i ended up (finally) coming out to my closest friends. but i never made a big deal out of it. like i never made a big post on facebook or IG or anything. I kinda just let people figure it out and have their own assumptions. so september rolls around and i end up getting depressed again (september is always a bad month for me) but i promised myself i wouldnt cut myself again. so i end up overdosing. alot. 7 pills at a time. (it was just vyvanse tho, its not like it was percs or oxycodone.) so my parents went thru my texts and they found out about what i was doing and thats when the trust begins to deterioate again. they would always take away my phone at night. they said its bc of some report they saw on the news where having your phone in your room while your sleeping is unhealthy (which.. they were right. but it’s ovbious that wasn’t the real reason they took it.) it was bloody annoying. but back then, they would only take it on school nights, and sometimes i would sneak it back, and although they got mad, they wouldn't really do anything about it. also, as you could’ve probably guessed, i had downloaded a couple of gay apps because i was curious. the first time i downloaded grindr, i was in the 8th grade. and it wasn't the only app i would download. there was also hornet and jack’d. well, theres this one guy who i ended up talking to. and i end up sending nudes to him on kik. and my parents end up going through my kik. this was in december 2013. my horny self was just tryna hookup. welp. they see the messages. things go downfuckinghill fast. they barge into my room, one second they're yelling at me shoving the screen in my face and then the next thing I know my dad is shoves me down and kicks me multiple times, and my mom ends up calling the police and filing a report. to say it was traumatising is an understatement. but because it's kik, theres not much they can do. this renders me phoneless all the way until june of 2015. and at this point i wanna take a little bit of a detour. bc i almost feel as though my life as a normal teenager has been robbed.

some of you may ask why i didn’t move in with relatives or just file a report to social services.

they wouldn't let me. and bc they're broke and aren't good at finances, that's what they (we’re) doing anyway. my family is living with my grandparents for like the 4th time since i was born. so they change the password in my phone and im only allowed to use it when they say (this is february 2014, roughly) and i have to be in the same room as them. and then in march, something goes wrong with my phone and it wont read the SIM card. so now i can't even call or text.  things just didn’t get better that year. its summer 2014, and now they suddenly change the password to my laptop. (they still won't tell me the password). i started crying and begged them to change it back. so they did. but just a month later, on July 11th, they change it. and its stayed that way. so now its june of 2015. they buy me a new phone, but they said there are "rules for having the phone" and they take it away every night. well, in november, i had downloaded grindr. theres this feature on my phone where i can hide an app, but one day, back in november, i forgot to hide the app. so they saw it. and they didn't even open the app (it was password locked) and i refused to give them the password. so now im phoneless.... again. and this time they wouldn't even let me use it... at all. so i went back to having to use my grandmas phone and computer to log onto Twitter. for the longest time, i could only be on twitter from 4-8pm on weekdays bc thats whenever i had access. fast foward to april 2016 and im taking a college class across town. all of a sudden, my mom hands me my phone, and im shocked. she says im only having it on a "limited basis". so for about a month, im only allowed to use it outside the house, but they eventually let up. every once in a while, we still get into an argument about it.  may 2016: its time for me to choose what college to go to. my mom had made me apply to a christian university about 30 miles away. i didnt wanna go, but the other college i had been looking at had ran into financial trouble, the big public university in my city didn't accept me, and i didn't wanna go to a community college. plus, the christian university (southeastern University) offered me a bunch of money in scholarships. and i honestly felt forced to go. by august of 2016, things start to drastically change. most of it is in a good way, but there are still some things that are... iffy, for lack of a better term. i’m beginning to lose weight and my grades are actually good for once, but my phone is still taken way at night all the way to december, when they finally stop. then in january 2017, i am finally able to buy an iphone. at this point, everything sort of catches up to the previous post. there’s still loads for me to explain but this is enough for now.

on a side note, it’s amazing how different things are for me now after looking back at all that. i still can’t believe that we are in 2019 and that i graduated high school nearly 3 years ago. i’m gobsmacked at how much i have changed since then. it’s a lot to ponder on. and i’m glad to say that i’m currently at the happiest place i’ve been in for years. maybe ever.

end.

[dsmroleplay]

#PutremCarnem #DSM #TVD #TO #RP

Writers: @JereGilbertDSM , @ForlornSolace , @LittleSassyWolf , @MysticChicWitch Reply Order: Jere, Elena, Hayley, Bonnie ]

Jeremy: [ Plotline: The Carnaval comes to Mystic Falls and people begin to go missing. The mysterious Mr. Grey whom no one seems to know is actually a cursed vampire. He is frail and barely surviving, his grandson Victor is responsible for capturing victims to feed to his grandfather. But once they are bitten his curse affecting humans by turning them to the undead is spread. Normally Victor kills them by decapitation but something goes array this time and a couple of escape biting several people in town and the virus spreads. Vampires can be affected as well, while bitten they become frail as Grey. Elena turns out to be bitten somewhere along the way and they have to find a way to kill the undead roaming and find a way to break the spell for Elena and Grey.

-Things had seemed to settle down in Mystic Falls come the hotter month of July, the school was out and most were just enjoying their vacation. This year the powers that be in city hall had come up with a carnival idea to supplement the fireworks show for July 4th. Grey's Carnaval would be arriving shortly and Jeremy was among that had volunteered to help set up things. Elena had been elusive lately and he wondered what was going on with her. But after Jenna's death and the constant drama from the Salvatore brothers he was trying to give her some space. Guiding several trucks into the fairgrounds he watched as the guys started unloading and sat up the equipment for the rides.- :::::::::: Elena: Elena had gone out hunting for her meal. She had never felt like a fragile girl since she had become a vampire. She was stalking a Auburn-haired male, six-foot tall, muscular, fairly attractive.

She had kept this side of her away from her brother. She wasn't focusing on what old man. His voice soft as velvet, his emerald orbs gentle.

" Are you okay? That looks like a nasty bite. I could call 911 for you "

She smiled sweetly, her doe eyes capturing his gaze.

" No, it's okay. "

Her pupils shrinking as she compels the human.

" Don't move. Dont - fetus position, drifting off to sleep. She knew her brother was off to the carnival in the morning .

She slept until 2pm, she felt weak, drained. She felt a tad dizzy as she sat up, pushing the sheets off of her.

Her brother was long gone, and she couldn't find the strength in the park "

As the male blinked, she had sped off towards home. She flopped on her bed shortly after climbing in through her window. She looked at the bite that would not heal, she didn't feel right. Something was making her feel Ill, almost human again. She curled into the make a sound. "

Black veins appeared under her eyes, she latched onto the males neck with her fangs. She savors the sweet taste of crimson liquid . After long, pulls from his vein, she releases him, her pupils shrinking once again.

" Anyone asks you been attacked by animal was around her. She went in for the attack when she was tackled by another vampire. She was caught off guard, before she could toss him off of her, he had bit into her wrist. She let out an agonizing scream, being able to throw the vampire away. She had instantly thought it was Mikael, returned from whatever hell he was in. She stepped closer wanting to demand answers, she noticed the vampire looked sickly, fragile . He looked at her with remorse, before fleeing the scene.

The Auburn hair male had noticed the attack. He thought he was just a to get out of her bed.

She was hungry, she needed to hunt once again. She usually could wait until nightfall to feed on a person.

" What is going on?"

She wasn't aware she had passed the virus on the male from last night. ::::::::::: Hayley: There was a big hype around the little gown of mystic fall with the carnival coming to down. Tonight is the opening night. I would have loved to be there and be with the few friends that I met here now. Sadly I can't as I must be locked up or someone might end up hurt with the full moon approaching tonight. Harley said goodbye to her friend after making an excuse for getting out of going with her friends to carnival as nightfall approaches. She had packed you're clothes in her backpack. When She ran back to the cave she had found with chains and and bolts to with a steel gate hoping to keep help her in. This was the first time she was going to lock herself up. When the moon is at higher when her body would changes.?. She settled herself in for the night locking the gate. Putting the key in her backpack.

Firstly she the chains and bolts that we're chains to the walls. She just hopes this would hold her as she has no control over when she turns into a wolf. When she knew lots of people will be out tonight. Hayley bounded her wrists and ankles with the handcuffs and chains. While she waits waits for her body to change. When it started when her body was in knots as she began to turn to break all her bones in her body she screamed in the pain. She was more powerful when she became the wolf in her pulling the chains off the wall wanting to break free.

She broke the Chains and pounding on the gate over and over wanted to be free. She eventually broke enough space to break free to able to run. To where is the question. She was hungry. Running through the woods of this town this was her freedom and desire to be free. When she came across a homeless man camped out in the wood when she could smell him from miles away. She surrounds his manmade den. When she jumped on him digging her crawl into his waist. She glazes him with a bite when she speared his skin When she heard a gunshot nearby. Making her to run away. Deep into the forest to find another to bite on. Before she turned back into being a girl. - ::::::::: Bonnie: Things in Mystic Falls had changed drastically since the last Grey's Carnaval. Elena was a vampire. Werewolves were real. And I am a witch. A powerful witch. There was so much more to the supernatural world that I had yet to touch on. This place would always be my home. So I wanted to enjoy even the small pieces of normal that we had here. Whatever normal was anymore. I paint a smile on my face, determined to have fun, as I dress for the carnival. Jeans and my favorite summer top. Then climb behind the wheel of my car and head to the Grill. ::::::::: Jere: [Narrative: Spending two lifetimes this way Grey was losing his will to keep going. Victor his grandson, dressed in a clown costume drug in an unconscious human female and laid her on the battered trunk in front of his grandfather. This one was pretty to Victor, he'd chosen her feeling that her sacrifice was noble and he'd add her to his scrapbook of others before her. A young man had escaped last night but Victor was fairly sure he wouldn't survive long. Mystic Falls was known for it's "creatures" so he had not bothered tracking him. They'd be on their ways in a few days so he felt it would do no harm.

As Grey sank his fangs into his victim drinking her blood he received a momentary reminder of what "life" could feel like. The boost of power had him biting hard-drinking greedily. But the feeling was fleeting, soon after Victor took her body away he sat in his wheelchair once incredibly handsome, fast and strong he was now hideous.

His hand curled into fists with loss of muscle tone, eyelids drooped and his skin smelt of rot. His mind, however, remained intact which served to add to his psychotic thoughts. Drifting off into his dream of Amelia Bennett before this curse was placed on him. Their love had felt like something that would last forever but betrayal has a way of changing things.]

Jeremy sat in one of the tents watching with keen interest a young Indian woman playing a violin creating Carnatic Instrumental music. Jeremy loved music and he'd never been exposed to this type before. It had him smiling as he watched her hands move picking the strings getting into it. She switched to the Veena as the man sitting cross-legged on the pillows tapped a beat from the Mridangom.

Across town a doorknob rattled as it was tried to open it. Locked the infected teen walked around his blood lust taken completely over, his eyes nothing more than glazed over husks with no soul. He had one need, to feed. Breaking the window to his parent's home he crawled through clumsily, falling on the workbench and sending tools clamoring to the floor. His father emerged with a baseball bat hearing the commotion in the garage. Heavy sigh as he see's his son and lays the bat down. "Really Brad? You scared the hell of me. I should tan your hide. Your mother is asleep and you're going to wake her."

Brad didn't respond just crawled towards the warm flesh of the man before him. "Are you drunk son? What's wrong with you?" Brad's father went to him worried, in the shadows of the garage he couldn't see that a large portion of his throat was gone. And as soon as he got close enough the rabid teen went straight for his jugular vein. Vice like grip the teen took down his father tearing away at his flesh and drinking his blood. :::::::::: Elena: Elena did not feel alright. She felt a hunger than wouldn't fade, even if she drained multiple blood bags. She could barely be around her friends without the temptation of ripping their throats apart. Her mocha orbs fixate on the pulsing vein of Matt Donavan. She could barely found her way to the town square. As small as the town was, they've always found a place to hang out. Even if it wasn't in her intentions today after waking feeling out of place. Yet, she left her house to keep Jeremy safe. Elena knew she could sneak away at the carnival to hooded started burned into the icy blues of her the blonde girls.

" I'm starving."

She pulled the girl head to the side, she buried her fangs into the nap of the blondes neck. She drank the crimson liquid with haste, draining the blonde of her life force. She dropped the girl behind the dumpster. She still wasn't full, she wanted more. She stared at the lifeless body, unsure how to spin the blood stains on her clothing.

She shrugged her shoulders, walking into the darkest parts of the alley. She knew her friends would just blame Damon. She was ' her as a monster.

She didn't want Jeremy to see her any differently. She narrowed her yes on a blonde turning down a dark alleyway, her gaze narrowed on her prey. Little black veins snaking under her mocha eyes.

She vamp sped behind her slamming the girls head into the wall - going to let him take the fall for her actions. After all he was in love with her, and willing to do anything to be with her. she was streets away from her friends now. She no longer needed to hide her true self, dainty fingers slipping into blonde curls. Elena tugged harshly striking fear into the dazed girl, as the blonde whimpered out.

" Who are you."

A sly smirk crossing over rosy lips, dark to feed on multiple people. The brunette smiled sweetly, before excusing herself from her peers. She couldn't take the bloodlust any longer. She wanted to hunt, she needed to feed. She was a monster now, and she has accepted who she is. She just didn't want her friends to see keep herself together. The brunette licked her lips, as she listened to the blood pumping through little veins all over his muscular frame.

She cleared her throat as Caroline had distracts her from her blood lust.

" The Carnival? You mean this weekend?"

She stated Stalely they were planning a night out, a victory statement against the originals. She knew hundreds of people would be attending the newly opened carnival. Elena met the gazes of her closest friends.

" I'm all in. "

She declared. She was curious to why her best friend hasn't :::::::::::: Hayley has been struggling with her curse with her turning into our creature of four paws. she-hated the turn as she would break all her bones as turned into the hairy wolf. she had no control over what would happen when she turns. Never mind with The actual carnival being in the town where more people who be around more. It didn't matter who much she tired to secured herself in the lock-up den, she found with the chains and bolts she used. The wolf in her always got free. As the moon reaches its climate making her change in wolf m.

She felt onto her knees screaming and growls in the pains of her bones stacking and breaking with second going by. She howls as she loses control of her human body and turning into the creature she becomes every full moon. Her strength builds to pulls against the chains and bolts that are attached to the walls. The wolf won't stop until the wolf is free from this cage that Hayley had locked herself in. The wolf breakfast down the steal bars and burst out to run free.

There was nothing Hayley couldn't do about the wolf or help anyone that was out tonight. She just hopes the wolf wouldn't find anyone tonight. She nodded into acknowledgment and followed her grueling pace without complaint. The warm humidity of the forest made her free sticky and suffocated in her wolf skin. She was swatted her paw against the pesky insects. The sweat rolled down her fur. She could feel her heart throbbing inside her chest. Her skins felt it was roasting. She began to bounce between the logs in the forest. When she reached the stream. She tried to catch her breath.

Her lungs felt they were about to burst into her human body against the wolf body. Her throat was so dry. She went close to the stream to take a drink licking up the cool water lather in up. She howled into the dark sky sudden spurts of speed, freedom the wolf pounding the dirt track. The first smells of bark, loan, pine needles with the recent rain filled the senses of her nose. She could hear the noise coming from the carnival as she ran harder and faster to that directions.