#dont really see people talk about this much

[fmhobeus]

youngest intern in the history of ppth's oncology. thats you.

"you're still here?" wilson calls out to the void seemingly. your head peaks out from the crowded shelves of the lab to give him a nod.

oh this is bad.

this is not what you need. you dont need you're hot boss to distract you when you're trying to conduct some tests he asked you to. especially not when you haven't slept in 2 days and have had copious amounts of coffee in your system making you jittery. you dont need him to increase your heart rate to the point where your capillaries explode. oh you're gonna fuck up somehow. you're tell him you like him. because lord knows you do. your boss. you have a silly schoolgirl crush on your pathetically gorgeous boss. the kind that makes you nauseous and unwell because he's just so, so pretty. and you'd end up telling him that you'd risk it all if he just gave you the chance.

but you like this job. you need this job. you can't it go just because you've got a thing for older men with kind eyes whose soft lips spill praises like...

"you there?"

"mhm" you gulp. somehow your mouth is really fucking dry. good god, james wilson. good fucking god. you just want to rub your face on his chest like a cat. you need him to touch you. to pet you. to run his deft fingers refined from years of surgery and administration through your hair or something... what's wrong with you? there's a pit in your abdomen that needs him. you need him to praise you, like he always does. you need him to look at you, take you in, take advantage of you. just dear lord do something. not just stand there and express concern as your employer. just come closer, please, your mind whimpers to him.

"i really think you should rest. we've made considerable progress thanks to your good work and extra hours. you've really proved yourself"

you don't want this to stop. he thinks you're good. useful. your boss, the intellectual, witty and beautiful man you work for, the best doctor you've met. the one who puts in the hours and effort to better himself in what he does... thinks you did a good job.

wilson does find you admirable. he likes your work ethic, your thirst to prove yourself. he likes your obsession, he compares it to house's sometimes. he like the way you talk, not much to him for some reason (maybe it's the "boss" thing or...) but everyone else in the oncology department. he likes that you're young and you hold him in high regard. you're always so attentive when he talks, so perceptive, so willing. among those things he commends, the ones he can tell his colleagues about, he also likes the tint in your skin when you stand under the dim lighting in the lab. some of it reflecting off your hair, slightly unkempt but beautiful. he likes you without the lab coat. he likes your keen eyes, your smile, your hands, your face, your tits, your...

he lets out a deep sigh. wilson likes you. admires you. maybe overstepping his place as your boss, as your mentor, as whatever that is you're making him in your head, the reflection of which he sees in your eyes sometimes. something desperate. aching. calling out his name, as if to say "come heal me".

and he knows what it is. it's the same look of admiration he gives you. the murky one. the slightly lustful one. he knows what you are. pretty young thing, final year med student, who'd rather flirt with house than chase or foreman. but he'd rather pretend he didnt. kid himself into thinking he doesn't care when chase of all people calls you young. he doesn't feel guilty for wanting you to want him.

maybe if he played into it long enough, played dumb long enough, made you feel like this is just how he is. just this sweet. if he made you believe that he had a reason to fold his cuffs to reveal his rather slutty forearms, loosen his tie on a late night, take off his coat complaining about the new jersey weather, gaze into your eyes at every occasion he got, all in pure innocence. this isnt flirting. this isn't an old man's desperation and desire permeating his professionalism.

no. this is okay. all he hopes for is that one day you'll give in. confess your love to him like cameron did to house. fight for him. shed a few tears. maybe then he could wipe then off your pretty cheeks and sigh. he could then reject you. just speak those words of "i'm sorry, it's inappropriate and your much younger than me" into existence. make them real, if only he could use all the rationality in the world to convince himself that he doesn't want you as despicably and carnally as he does.

he shuts his eyes and takes in a sharp breath. no. this isn't right. he'd be taking advantage of you. even if its what you want. even if it could be his little present to you.

"go home, doctor."

he leaves the door of the lab open on his way out.

[ganondoodle]

(oh hey, we didnt have a long rant in a while, this wasnt supposed to be so long, as per usual with me ... i looked up some refs of the botw sonau ruins since i wanted to see how to combine its design to my sonau design in my totk rewrite- and this happened ... in case this sounds too angry or aggressive, its not meant like that, im not imploding about it, its just frustrating and annoying to me)

i have a problem with pretty much every inch of totk, and theres lots of big problems, and lots of things i find absolutely bafflingly stupid decisions-

one bafflingly weird and stupid decision to me, though there are way more important ones, is the nigh complete seperation from botw sonau (zonai) design aesthetic and totk sonau design aesthetic- its so .. weird and utterly unecessary it will never stop bothering me, its one that has relatively little impact in development but huge impact on the believability of the world

you have these ancient ruins of long gone people (that imo should have stayed a mystery, since that sense of lost history you cannot grasp makes both the world more believable and real feeling and will never let you stop thinking about, if you care about that kind of stuff at least- but i talked about that in length before im sure), but whats left leaves you still with a pretty clear design aesthetic, at least in the buildings that remain (the armor less so bc it really doesnt look like anythign ancient and just doesnt really fit together)

and then you make a game around them- but ... completely redesign their aesthetic .... in a rather big contrast too, for literally NO reason, there is not a single reason to do that, not even the excuse of trying to seperate the two games in their core aesthetic (like in the case of the shiekah- though that too is stupid bc ITS A DIRECT SEQUEL- IF YOU DONT WANT TO MAKE MORE OF THAT DESIGN THEME or leave it in for that matter THATS CORE TO THE PREVIOUS GAME DONT MAKE IT A DIRECT SEQUEL YOU DUM-) can do any work here, the botw sonau ruins werent many, it was background stuff, it wasnt a main theme and it didnt carry any importance in the game itself

like, botw sonau architecture was dark stone with red highlights (a color that usually fades rather quickly, imagine how strong it had to be once, maybe it was even more colorful at some point), bird, boar and dragon carvings, torches in bird shape, alot of swirls and round patterns among the blockier rough shapes, its was pretty detailed with patterns and pictures all over it --

totk sonau? blendingly white stone, all blocky shapes like unfinished blender models, not a swirl to be found, green hologram lights (or cold white light, i dont think there are any totk sonau torches, just those weird candle things- most light sources are lamps in impeccable shape all giving off that cold white light) and gold blocky script, theres rarely alot of detail on them, the pattern most often present beign a scale pattern ... one which i dont remember appearing anywhere on the botw sonau ruins in that way/that often, the only animal motif is a dragon head every now and then and it honestly feels tacked on, like they scrambled to try and connect the two in any way shape or form, white gold and green, theres nothing red anywhere, they neither connect to the botw sonau architecture nor to the one armor set- or its description, totk sonau have nothing to do with the phirone (faron) region (aside from that one quest that could have been placed anywhere), they are weirdly modern and techy, theres nothing "barbaric", not even their clothes are in any way connected (im so sick of all that gold tbh) even their magic isnt really .. magical, it all feels like science fiction type tech stuff (even though they said they wanted it to feel magical, couldnt be further from that tbh) the design of their magic symbols dont line up with their own building aesthetic or anyone elses even, its so messy

if you do the quest to get the fith sage its even more apparent- its the direct contrast between botw and totk sonau, its like a cut into a mod, theres no overlap, you cant argue that its bc the botw ruins where exposed to the elements and thats why the color differs- the totk sonau ruins left to rot both in the underground and in the literal sky are all just as if not more exposed, yet they all remain in rather good shape, all keeping the white and often completely colorless look, most damage being just some clumps of mold (?) or something having fallen over, and if they were protected so their color didnt change? wheres the red? the colors all should be in pristine shape then but its not bc there is no color

their excuse of "uuuh the hylians build those things in honor of the sonau!!" they tried to give doesnt work, like all other excuses, if they did why the hell does it look so different? sonau stuff was all over the place, you have the blueprints right there, WHY even build it? in those regions nonetheless that were of pretty little importance as far as we know, if this were the case they should be on the forgotten plateau or around hyrule castle but they are not- ALSO if the hylians built them for them .. so after they died out .. why then is there some weird mechanism with their actual aesthetic there in the ones in phirone? if they built it while they were still there ... why make it look so different?? ADDITIONALLY hyrules style of architecture is closer to the totk sonau one than the botw sonau so you cant even say it was influenced by their own style bc botws sonau is more different than both of them

it also adds to the .. feeling of something being off about the entire game (like it felt to me even shortly after starting to play), while i dont want to touch on the stupidness of how they handled totk shrines since thats another long rant i already did before, the sudden appearance of totk sonau style stuff literally everywhere (and the disappearance of anything not plot relevant shiekah bc it just went poof according to interviews and neither that nonsensical excuse nor anything in the game making sense- bc in the end they just wanted it gone and didnt care) would seem LESS weird if it was in the style of botw sonau, you know that style, its been here the whole time and more of it appearing would seem much less jarring, even if it doing so in completely non sensical ways- it would at least lessen that weirdness

i do not get why you would do that, did your designers have nothing to do so you made them make an entirely new aesthetic? did you not want your holy perfectly goodest god king to be anything but the most clean and kingly looking so you didnt even go for the barbaric idea from botw?(which i am not a fan of either) bc of course someone supposed to fill the role of perfect example of how to be good king of holy hyrule to zelda couldnt look "primitive"? was that given to the ancient hylians instead? with their designs going, to me, rather close to a mix of native american and ancient greek aesthetic (uh oh)- to contrast them to your superior alien that brought the idiots on earth technology since we didnt have enough tired tropes in here already? thought that design theme was more sellable? simply didnt care? (tbh, most likely in my eyes given the carelesness of the game to connect in any way to botw, much less in a meaningful one)

(those where written like questions but i dont expect anyone to answers for, it just sounds better)

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

i'm really just sending this in to get a look at the responses and see if there are a few lurkers who agree with me or if i just shouldn't even try to engage with this fandom much longer (at least in the more "controversial" spaces)

i understand that it's partly because this fandom skews younger than others i've been a part of. many of the people interacting with it are kids, and im not really talking about them. but, looking at the older teens and adults, i want to take a moment to complain, really, that this community is maybe the most 'scared of being wrong' community ive ever been in. everyone in this fandom, it seems, is absolutely terrified of having a take that might be seen as weird or off-putting or, god forbid, problematic. and it isn't just for themselves! people in this fandom will turn that same insecurity on other people, like they're trying to keep some kind of Moral Purity. it's kind of weird, honestly.

this is the worst in shipping, to no one's surprise. honestly guys, in any other fandom, starflight x sunny would not be seen as a "problematic" ship. but ive seen actual people with their whole chests claim that it's "basically incest" (1. it's not, and 2. who cares, but you guys aren't ready for that conversation). you cant even mention glorybringer without someone chiming in with "erm sorry but that's canon pedophilia since the author made an age calculation mistake once :/ and you dont like pedophilia right? right?" not to even mention some of the more nuanced examples. it's a little obnoxious. if you guys saw the popular ships in other fandoms you'd puke. (obviously it's ok to not like a ship, but it's not ok to ascribe morality to someone over their preferences.)

this is apparent in the whole fandom though. honestly this blog has given some pretty good examples. people *love* any chance they can get to see an anon confession and get to spam in the notes how gross and problematic they are. it's a weird virtue signaling thing. again, it's all about that moral purity.

i'm not saying anyone can just say anything without backlash. there have been confessions here that are genuinely bad takes. and obviously it's all a matter of opinion and people can comment whatever they want. but as someone who's been in messy fandoms for all my life, it's just kind of odd to me to see how torn up you guys are about things that honestly don't matter and aren't your business. maybe it's the proshipper in me but sometimes you just need to step back and say 'this is a fictional book series about dragons'

sorry to be so negative. i promise, there are things in this community i absolutely love!! but this has been getting on my nerves more and more as time goes on. i want to see who's on my side, basically, and who's about to call me a groomer or some shit.

.

[phightingheadcanons]

Headcanons i have about the phighters i tend to play the most (i play alot of different ppl and this isn't even all of them anymore-)

Katana

- has a phone, but its like a *really* old phone that uses like, 3g or smth (it is.. so slow.. but he barely uses it anyways)

- would rather send letters through some mail system to talk to people than calling or texting

- When him and Hyperlaser go out for drinks (like two, maybe three times a month me thinks) he usually gets a drink that tastes sweet or a little bit fruity.

- ^ Katana will also get harder/darker liquors, but he prefers the lighter stuff so more sweet/fruit flavors come through over the alchohol taste

Rocket

- is actually pretty self-consious about his arm and leg, but just masks it most of the time

- he loves the prosthetics themselves, but feels like he'll be judged by others for having them (even though he knows they almost definetely wont)

- Rocket actually needs Zuka's help sometimes to clean up his horns and maintain the way they look (Zuka always chuckles when he asks because Rocket always asks a little awkwardly)

Scythe

- her white eye isnt like glass eye or a blind eye or anything, its just naturaly completely white. like the sclera, iris, and pupil are all just naturally white, and no one knows why.

- ^ Medkit has tried to figure out why and has pulled more than one all-nighter (not in a row) to figure out, no no avail

- ^ her eye being white doesnt affect her vision at all, surprisingly. Scythe can see perfectly fine with it. the worst it gets its a little bit blurry sometimes, like a super weak gausian blur over everything, but only out of her left eye.

- Her right eye is completely fine and normal. She uses the lens thing to see farther away for better aim when she has her scythe in rifle mode.

- ^ the lenses have the three different levels of zoom and focus, and can be adjusted (not while in use though)

Shuriken

- because ninja vibes and vigilante, he's learned to walk silently and scares Vinestaff and Slingshot alot. sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose, just depends on his mood rlly.

- Shurifin is an inside joke between him Vinestaff and Slingshot when he dressed up in a really tacky fish costume for halloween one year (like amazon 5 bucks kind of cheap)

- he learned how to patch himself up pretty well so Vinestaff and Slingshot didnt suspect anything when he came late from vigilante stuff (saw this from another anon, love it sm so i included it here bc it really does just fit)

Vinestaff

- alot of people think she's self-concious about her arm, but she really isnt. yeah she doesnt exactly like the fact that her arm is tree, but she's learned to live with it

- her arm sprouts during spring/summer. i like the cherry blossom idea that i saw from a another anon too (im sorry i dont remember who you are-)

- ^ Vinestaff tolerates her arm more in the spring because of the pretty pink cherry blossoms, and likes how it looks throughout summer too. once it hits fall or winter though she goes back to not liking it as much because its bare and pretty much just bark, no pretty flowers or blossoms

- 🌌✨️ anon

"Ohhhh I love thosee"

[moonsfantasyworld]

The following contains spoilers for beast yeast ep8, do not read if you have yet to finish the chapter

this is your last warning!

dont read this if u havent finished it yet!!! OK SO im starting with what i liked and then i'll get to the things that i have a bit of issues with

I genuinly enjoyed the chapter a lot!!! the dynamic between black sapphire and candy apple is very interesting and silly (the siblings fr), and the situation between PV and SM its very interesting, complex and fun to anilyse.

I LOVED seeing sm being desperate and in complete denial of his situation, that he is lonely, i really wanted to see him in such a vulnerable state and i got what i wanted and it was wonderful

The way SM noticed fast how the soul jam was full on connected to its owner was, as well, something very interesting to me. Me personally it came off as a mad scientists toying around with his lab rat, trying to see how much he could push him, its complex and it can be interpreted in different ways

Finally getting the full blown confirmation SM did not stalk PV as a kid was also refreshing. It had been alwasy clear to me it was all just a lie and sm toying with pv's mind completly, but a lot of you, AND I MEAN A LOT OF YOU, lack basic reading comprehension and knowing how to read a room

we are in the kingdom of lies

deceit

we cannot complelty trust shadow milk on his words or what he does, he is NOT a reliable source, ever

i liked that we didnt get to actually see past SM, its an interesting choice since we sort of saw the ones of the previous ones (mystic talked about her past and has statues and we saw burning spice the moment he broke)

Also the whole update feels like SM is having a lot of personal beef with the world, specially the witches. They were brought up like, twice and he always mentions it with so much loathing. I cant wait to see whats to come and to see their past

bUT this points being said

First off, i am kinda disssapointed PV isnt more angry towards SM, it would of been interesting to see the two fight and THEN Pv tries to offer him a helping hand, an opportunity to fix his issues, im at least glad sm didnt instantly get redeemed tho and part of me hopes he doesnt

The ending felt a bit rushed, but this seems to just be a recurring issue in beast yeast apparently :/, like, its not BAD bad, but it leaves you with a small feeling of ''that's it?''' and a small slap to the face, the pacing was good until a bit near the end

Speaking of the ending i was surprised we didnt get any extra scenes like we usually get. I really would have wanted to see the group arriving back at the kingdom, or pv thinking about what he saw in sm's memories, HELL IT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN INTERESTING CHANGE TO SEE SHADOW MILK'S THOUGHT AFTER IT ALL

Im also increidbly dissapointed fandom wise. The amount of posts i've seen of people not tagging things properly or tagging and then reblogging something that isnt tagged is dissapointing and kinda pissing me off a lot

now, im putting this near the end bcs its a PERSONAL NIT PICK

i am not against shadowvanilla, never was, never will. The artists are extremly creative and often create very beautiful pieces of art and i admire them a lot for this, along side the fact I GET WHY THEY LIKE IT, WHY ITS POPULAR, IS A FUN, INTERESTING SHP DYNAMIC THAT EVEN I HAVE ENJOYED IN THE PAST. im stating this cause im worried what i will say will come off as me hating the ship

The update hadnt come across to me as shippy up until the very last few levels with Pv saying they were meant to be together, and how he paused for a moment before saying friends a bit (altough this can also be interpreted as him heasitating to offer this as well)

i honestly like a lot the interpretation of them being teacher and student, i like shadow milk being pv's mentor and that's how the update had felt TO ME, if you know me i have an au were pv is sm's adopted son in an universe were he didnt corrupt completly and gave up his duties as an ancient hero, this being said

I dont like how the fandom instantly is taking the word submisive as something sexual, i dispise how sexualised the word has become and how it cannot be used in other ways often, and i wish some of the wording could be taken as something more than potential ''love obessision''

i kinda wish we could explore dynamics like this without needing it to be shipping, to me it didnt feel like there was necesarrly any romantic feelings of any sort, obbsesive? absolutly, but to me this is all SM trying to push pv to become like him bcs he is LONELY, at that point you dont care if its romantic or platonic, you just want SOMEONE so you arent alone

something something, this is something i wish it was in general, this isnt just about this ship in specific but many others in many different fandoms

seeing so much shipping has honestly made me struggle a bit sometimes to understand the differences between platonic and romantic DX but that's something me and myself alone has to work on on my own, no one is responsible and im just ranting at this point about personal nit picks

perhaps im just being in denial rn about it and being addmitedly kind of a pissy baby, im still processing the update after all.

again i dont have anything against shadowvanilla shippers, at least i dont think i do and i hope it does not come across compleltly as such

maybe some of my thoughts might change with time, maybe they wont and i'll just stay stubborn who knows

that being said this is the one and only time i will bring this up regarding shipping as i do not want to stir the pot till it boils and be dumb about HEADCANONS

TLDR: some nitpicks about headcanons but in general i think the update was really good in general, love the new sprites. 8.5/10 (kinda want to make it a 9 but im on the fence about that jksdbgfk)

[jayparked]

so hee said he was jealousy type, right? (like that one fan sign where op asked him if he’s okay with his gf texting a male friend every day he’s like ‘everyday?? why????’). dude. imagine dating heesung but on the dl. like not even his members know dl. (idk sunoo would probably know tbh he seems like he’d pick up on that stuff quickly BUT YOU GET IT). so if he introduces you as his friend and you get the chance to meet his members or txt or smt AHHHHH.

“Wait so who was your first bias?”, and god forbid it’s not him.

“>:(((((((((”

“…? What’s wrong?”

“idk go ask jay”

i'll be so honest. i think during those promotional periods the boys were told to act more jealous. because it was weird to me how their theme of jealousy in their album came out and suddenly they were all saying things like jealous boyfriends. like even jay and sunghoon being more direct about things they would/wouldn't like when before they've been more vague in their answers (just my personal opinion)

although i do see heeseung kinda questioning why his partner would feel the need to talk to another guy everyday under certain circumstances. i think overall if the relationship is really stable and there's a lot of mutual communication, he wouldn't really care if you had a close guy friend that you talked to a lot! although he'd be even more comfortable if he was able to meet the guy and hang out with you to see the dynamic and get an overall vibe check.

heeseung is definitely the fake pouty/teasing type of guy though absolutely. he just wants to hear you say no one can come close to him and that he'll always be the only one you have your eyes/attention on

i think for riki's answers it's very much a "what's the context here" having a meal with someone where other people can think you're a couple? no. going to another idols fansign where you get to be in awe and flirt? no. i think him and heeseung are kinda the same in the sense of what i wrote above!

i try not to correlate the idol aspect of things when talking about how they would act with significant others because it feels a lil odd to me (kinda the same with why i dont write idol aus). it's too real and i know they only show us small parts of themselves and a lot of it is performative. with that said, i think riki has a very "mine 😠...fine..." attitude LMAO like only partially meaning it. he would try really hard to bottle up his doubts and would trust his partner a lot but would never be happy if the other person was picked over him! same with the rest of the guys tbh

(i've gotten a lot done today and will try to go to bed soon i promise!)

[pumpkinsy0]

A lil cliche ask cause people are posting more fluffy papercut now instead of just pain and it got my mind thinking

Hcs for ponyboy going to a party and it's not really his thing so him and curly just spend the whole night together because neither of them wanna go home? I could see this being before they actually fully get together but like, there's a mutual understanding that there's more going on if you know what I mean

no worries!!! tbh i feel this happened between them before they got together so we can hold hands and imagine this together,,,just u and me,,,

•on a normal day curly doesnt wanna go home and its usually bc of his parents, but this time it was bc of tim. recently curlys been fucking up his jobs and tims been on his ass about it so for now, curly doesnt wanna face him. nothing BAD happened at home recently to pony, but there r moments where he doesnt wanna go home cause it feels suffocating remembering who used to sit next to him, whos voices he used to hear in a particular part of the home, yada yada yada and not experiencing that anymore, so he cant bring himself to stay there for long

•curly invited pony to this party at bucks as his plus one, but curly could tell pony wasnt fuckin w it fr, usually pony was trying to come up w a way to say no cause parties arent rlly his scene and ESPECIALLY in this scenario where its a party at some random persons place he doesnt know. pony knewww he should say no but hey, anything to stay from being home. plus w the way curly was asking and looking at him, how could he

•being there, pony was huggin thee fawwkk out the corner and ppl watching cause he dunno nobody else, ponys not drinking but curly has a bit of a buzz goin on so hes letting himself go, nothing against curly but pony knew that would end up happening so he was already regretting staying

•curly tried getting pony to relax, yknow have a good time, introducing pony to other ppl but pony wasnt biting down, curly chose to doing his normal party tricks to entertain pony but pony just felt like curly was kinda leaving him to do more “important things” the more pony didnt pay attention to him the more curly just got dejected

•eventually curly cut his loses and notices ponys outside so goes to follow, it was getting hot anyways. when they met outside they said nothing to each other, barely even looked each others way. not much they COULD say to each other, they havent been talking much lately

•curly has a lil weed in his pocket and some rolling paper, so decides to get a lil busy w it while pony watches on. by the time hes rolled up and took some hits, curlys found it within himself to ask if pony wants and while pony was trying NOT to cough up a lung cause he forgot it was weed n not a cigarette so he took one big pull, curly started walking away from the porch. cause pony didnt wanna b alone, he followed!!

•neither of them could b BOTHERED w talking, theyre so mentally done, just them being together was enough. theyre so sick of talking about whats wrong that they dont wanna explain it to anyone

•they eventually got hungry cause the snacks at the party was SHIET so they aint eat anything. did they even HAVVEEEE money??? no they planned to dine and dash but to b nice all they ordered was a burger and fries, nothin too fancy. pony fed some fries into curlys mouth and curly tried to b romantic and licked ketchup from the side of ponys mouth, theyre so romantic❤️

•when their legs carried them as far as they could go on half eaten stomachs, nothing felt real. not in a bad way, in a “its just u and me” type thing, like nothing could touch em, they felt like they were floating and my christ after the weeks theyve had, they want this to last forever

•they fell asleep in a hang out spot of shepards territory. when they wake up, tomorrow they would b found by some of the shepard gang and laughed at, and pony would go home to being yelled at and curly would get another job from tim in order to “prove himself”, for now tho, theyre tired and comfy, tad bit cold cause theyre using curlys jacket as a blanket, but theyll live

[corvidares]

Wanna chime in with my experience!

I've been on low dose T for about uuh 10 months now? Specifically the gel kind, which I'm told to rub on my shoulders/upper arms/upper chest.

i went to my local planned parenthood to get the process started and it was honestly really easy. i did a consultation, asked a bunch of questions, decided i needed some time to think. and then i made an appointment to get it actually prescribed, as well as get a blood draw. my insurance is pretty good so the only thing i had to pay for at any point is a small copay when i get refills

they do additional blood draws every 3 months to monitor my levels

like op said, mileage varies a LOT depending on the person, genetics, dosage, etc

the first thing that happened to me was that i got about ten times greasier LOL. so lots more acne on my usual spots (face, shoulders). also had an awful bout of ass acne around the same time i started sprouting random little dark hairs on my arms - these increased slowly over time and are concentrated entirely where i apply the gel. i also got a bit more of a happy trail but otherwise am not hairier anywhere else (yet) i might be somewhat sweatier, im not sure, but i definitely have greasier hair. i used to be fine going a day or two without showering but i 100% have to shower every day now also one of my crushes says i have "boy smell" and im not entirely sure what that means but she likes it so :]

i dont remember exactly, it was probably about 3 months in that i started feeling bottom growth. it definitely feels kinda weird and sometimes uncomfortable but tbh for as much as people talk about it, its not that bad. it just pops up randomly where i feel SUPER hyper sensitive for a bit and then it goes away just as quickly. i had to sleep a few nights buck naked cuz i couldnt get comfortable with my boxers on

my libido also DEFINITELY increased a few months in. and its been pretty consistently high since. im horny like at least one time MOST DAYS. granted i already had decent libido but yeah, phew, sometimes you will feel insatiable even if you do get off. i was never particularly into my dick being touched before but now its very very sensitive (and of course noticeably bigger) you can see (if youre naked) and feel a boner and its so fucking awesome. orgasm kinda feels different also. some people experience a complete change but for me i think its more subtle. i also cum a LOT more easily also you gotta wash your dick now!!!!! no one talks about this lmao but once you have bottom growth you have to start specifically cleaning it and getting under the foreskin to do so. (with hot water only of course) its terribly uncomfortable cuz touching it like that when youre not turned on sucks

my voice hasnt changed yet but i HAVE noticed in the last month or two some tightening in the back of my throat which friends have told is my vocal chords changing.

admittedly there was a point where i felt a little more easily frustrated by stuff but it didnt last long. in other words youre not gonna turn into an angry violent freak or whatever it is bigots will say

thats everything im pretty sure! fwiw i went into this wanting two things: t dick and voice deepening. dealing with the other stuff has been annoying but so incredibly worth it. i will probably go off either A) when my voice reaches a place i like or B) when the hair growth gets to be too much for my personal liking i love love love talking about it so anyone is free to ask me more questions as long as you're respectful!!!!

Heyy, butch genderqueer dyke here who has been contemplating going on T for a long time, I'm just not really sure about where to get started or what to expect? As another anon mentioned, i didn't know tdicks could be a thing! Im just really curious about the kinds of things to expect or what i need to maybe look into? Any info helps, im asking here to get some pointers from someone actually on T and experiencing the changes (who also wont try to sugarcoat it to me lol) Thanks for your time ❤️

There were a couple of you who asked about what its like going on low dose T.

So~

In general all the effects happen slower and less than a full dose of T. A lot of it is genetics dependent as well.

All of these effects can vary depending on you so don't take these as gospel:

First noticeable change will be bottom growth. It can be uncomfortable/ overly sensitive when its growing but its awesome and getting boners rules.

It will be easier for you to get horny/turned on. Visual stimuli will be way more likely to get you horny.

You might turn into a faucet. Ill be honest there are some days where I've had to change my underwear like 3 times because they were soaked through. (im talking about discharge not piss before anyone asks)

Youll also sweat more/be muskier.

The hair on your thighs will get darker and thicken starting on your inner thighs.

Youll get a happy trail and hair around your nipples as well.

Youll break out as your body gets used to the higher levels of T in your system. Probably on your chest and back in addition to your face at first.

Youll grow a baby T stache (darker longer hair on your upper lip) + some stray hairs on your chin/face. (easy to use a dermal razor/ tweezers to get rid of these)

Personally T has improved my mental health spectacularly and not even in a 'i was dysphoric' type of way just straight up i can shut down anxious thought patterns instantly where as before I would have been battling myself silently all day.

Also on low dose your voice wont really deepen much if at all.

Feel free to add your own experiences on low dose T~

[grapemoon]

Yknow what i think would go hard? An undertale species swap au (what did they call it, uppertale? Humantale? Idk) where all they really need is One boss monster soul to break the barrier, but they don’t know the difference between a regular monster and a boss monster and the only two Boss monsters to fall were Frisk and Chara, and all the other children that fell down were regular monsters. Makes it a little more tragic that way imo, rather than having it just be undertale reverse edition.

Like, the tragedy of knowing that you really only need ONE monster’s soul to break the barrier so long as you have seven willing humans’ souls, but the last one to come through was over a hundred years ago and every time a new monster appears its a child, and it ends up dead, and the soul breaks instantly. Can you imagine how dusty the coffin room is? Do you think Asgore learned how monsters care for their dead, perhaps from Chara, long in the past, just to honor these fallen children?

[tinyleaks]

hey friends, wanted to put some words out in the universe that sometimes i need to hear myself

you aren’t gross for liking something that most people consider “gross” or “weird”. it is okay to enjoy things that other people don’t understand, even things people reflexively make fun of. as long as you are being as hygenic as possible, cleaning up after yourself and not doing anything to risk your health, making sure to take breaks from it and stay hydrated between holds, and making sure to never include non-consenting parties in your kinky shenanigans – you’re fine.

if you’ve had to hide your interests from partners out of fear, awkwardly deflect conversations with friends, or heard people you look up to make off-handed remarks – you’re not alone.

no one fully 100% understands where kinks come from, but what we do know is we don’t choose which ones we get, and as long as all parties involved are consenting, happy and healthy: you aren’t doing anything wrong.

please don’t hate yourself over the things you love. be kind to yourself, even when other people aren’t. yes I’m getting sappy on my pee blog, because being “weird” can be really hard on the old mental health at times and i hope all of y’all don’t think any less of yourselves because of this stuff. peace out 💛

[moeblob]

A lil guy !

[sonknuxadow]

collection

[starscream-is-my-wife]

A way too serious reading on Fire in the Sky focusing on Skyfire

The first impression we have of Skyfire is Starscreams vision of him. He says they were close friends before the war. Skyfire is portrayed as a representation of innocence, he is the last cybertronian to know what life was like before the war, and untouched by the horrors of it. When the actual Skyfire is revived, he is in the future in the middle of a war, where for him, he was just a while ago he was a civilian scientist. He knows that this isn’t Cybertron, subconsciously or not, he is essentially trapped with the Decepticons, and with Starscream, who despite saying they are close friends, Skyfire treats Starscream more like an acquaintance. However, Starscream is the only thing that he has left from his old life, so he would naturally stick with him

 It doesn’t take long for Starscream to establish control over Skyfire. Starscream who not only has a ranking superiority over Skyfire, but in life experience. He is 5 million years older, most of which was spent as a warrior, and as the second in command. He tells him that he will make Skyfire his second in command once he takes over. Skyfire thanks him, telling him that he will give Starscream credit. It makes you wonder if this is what their relationship was like before the war, if Starscream believes that being close friends means that someone is willing to be subservient to you.

Then his first encounter with the Autobots. This is where Skyfire is alone, and you can see his actual personality, albeit still under the manipulations of the Decepticons. They engage in combat but stop when Spike and Sparkplug are in danger. When Skyfire goes over to help them, he speaks very softly for the first time since his reactivation. A gentleness for organisms that shows his true calling as a scientist. He then tells them the lies that he was told, showing he does genuinely believe in what Megatron and Starscream told him, like he looks up to his superiors.

So, when Skyfire raises a protest to the treatment of the humans, Megatron warns him that he’s stepping out of line, but it was Starscream who tightens his leash. not hesitating to shoot his hand as a punishment. Starscream should know how Skyfire should love organics, but maybe he saw this as an opportunity to taint Skyfire even more. Skyfire was shocked but not to Starscream shooting him, but to why they wanted to harm the humans. He does not question being shot by Starscream at all, filling in a picture of them before the war even more. Skyfire had also said that these humans were his friends, despite most of their very brief meetings being the humans terrified of him. This also makes you think if Skyfire before had any real friends other then Starscream.

When cornering a group of Autobots, Starscream said that the years under the ice had diminished his loyalty coefficient. And once again you wonder, ‘how did Starscream treat Skyfire before??’

Even after acknowledging their old friendship, the moment Skyfire refuses Starscream, he once again, does not hesitate to shoot Skyfire for being ‘wrong’, the Autobots look on in horror for Skyfire, Ratchet and Hound even saying something about it before getting destroyed -in Skyfires eyes- by Starscream, who steps on him before walking off. Another display of establishing his control. In the very short time that he’s been reactivated, Starscream has already shot Skyfire twice for miniscule ‘mistakes’ and Skyfire doesn’t even question why he was punished so harshly by being shot, only thinking of others.

Ratchet fixes up Skyfire the best he can after revealing that they are functioning they get interrupted by Starscream who orders his trine to fire at will at the Autobots, not caring that they were fixing up Skyfire. Ratchet doesn’t leave Skyfires side, tugging at his hand and saying ‘I won’t leave you here’ before getting shot. Skyfire stirs, this is probably the kindest anyone has been to him after being frozen and losing everything he knows.

Skyfire does join the battle, on the side of the Autobots, finally seeing a way out from the Decepticon grasp, and literally throws Megatron away. He ends up fighting Starscream, who only a little while ago had such a positive view of Skyfire, is now willing to kill him permanently. It’s almost like he would rather have Skyfire dead then have a Skyfire who is alive, but does not fit the loyal subservient imaginary image he has of him in his mind.

Starscream has far more experience in battle and although they both crash, Starscream will show up next episode, totally fine. However for Skyfire, in his final moments, fires a blast to bury the crystals, and himself to save his new friends. Perhaps that’s all he knows, instead of landing safely, he did everything he could to be useful to the very end. But in doing this he found freedom from Starscream, in death.

(until he gets revived)

[snekdood]

so uh

for 1. most people are gonna take advantage of black friday and wont see your specific niche tumblr post, I hate to say it

2. the us isnt running out of money for war any time soon, so...

3. this is just antisemitism???????? all we need is some (((echoes))) around the us and israel and then I'd have no reason to suspect otherwise from op...............

[naggingatlas]

'thats not his role in the story!' hm i wonder what the point of it is then. hm i wonder what the dead pixel scene means. hm i wonder what wrong organ are trying to say with the context of 'awesome male friendship' and 'corporate hell where the only woman onboard is constantly under ridicule, abused or forcibly forgotten yet is the catalyst' if not this. hm i wonder how curly's physical agony being a direct parallel to anya's mental agony, stripped of voice, agency, just like her, and being forced to watch what happens while not doing jack shit, just like he used to, plays a part in this. i wonder what the moral of him being the final girl says about living with the consequences of your inaction, because of sentimentality, because of status, career and social. hm i wonder whatever the fuck this game was trying to say. hm i wonder what else is on this person's blog Oh Lord there's yaoi penice.

[epicfirestormer]

What I love about Hellboy and Abe Sapien's dynamic in the comics is that, if you came into this blind, you'd expect Abe to be the voice of reason or the straight man to Hellboy's impulsive and hotheaded personality. But no, Abe is more often than not the crazy one. Hellboy would deal with fighting evil monsters and bad guys by just sighing and getting it over with, while Abe is going rabid over tearing the creature apart when he does get into a fight. Hellboy acts like it's a 9-to-5 job and will reasonably talk things out with a guy that had nearly killed him before, Abe acts like a madman in a slaughter house and his first instinct is to shoot first kill second and ask third. They're both insane, but on completely different levels.