#dont just make them act extremely out of character to be hate on cause you are in the wrong if you do that

[noeggets]

If you write a character out of character because you dont like them and make every bad thing happen like they loose their friends I'm not reading your fanfiction bc you are wrong :)

[big-box-of-kinda-silly-fop-ideas]

Just wanted to make like a proper way bio thing for peri (irep coming soon probably if i bother)

I would write fanfiction but uh idk if i could so these are more like characters notes

real long post below

Peri is a highly independent adult, he doesn’t like being coddled or touched without any warning and isnt the type to ask for help at all even if he really needs it. He’s an extremely closed off person using the suave act as a way to personally seperate himself to others which he developed due to his celebrity status, the suave personality also acts as a way to keep face as he never knows where could be camera. He pretends this cool collected guy, that can worm his way to getting anything (which is true) that has everything under control but in reality he’s this kinda dorky dude, that always anxious on how people perceive him and his grades. He’s an overachiever, after the initial first baby born hype died down he’s mostly known as the really smart youngest fairy in existence, he’s was an academic weapon throughout spellementary school and hs (im basing his education system off mine which is only two schools no middle 4-12 and 12-18) and came to uni with overconfidence in his educational abilities. Theres one thing thats consistent between his suave act and his actual self which is he’s petty as hell and very snarky, you can try talking him down but he’ll roast you back or give you a vaguely threatening threat. As well as being a bit prideful and vain, like he knows he’s pretty and smart and cares a lot about his appearance.

In this uni au he’ll be a bit of a static character he doesnt grow much, and struggles with demonstrating his affection or his struggles. (Which is why dev and peri dont exactly work much cause peri is overcompensating on how much coddling he got, and show affection in a more subtle way that dev doesn’t need as he need a more direct way (and heres a thought i dont think peri wouldve ever said he cared for dev unless delirious) ) . But he’s more openly affectionate with his parents cause he loves them. What he mainly goes through is humbling, he starts fairly prideful and overconfident but starts to slowly crumble from the pressure and anxiety. As in he doesnt say no to anything, hes somehow always busy or doing something, he also studies not enough and too much (crams shit in) and he also got his celebrity things to do. Another arc will be opening up to Goldie and Irep (but they'll be his only friends) cause he doesnt learn shit about how to socialise without depending on the act. He’s also easily frustrated, if things dont go in the way he wants he gets frustrated at himself, like he really put his self worth on his abilities to do things and less on who he is as a person. Like everyone praised him for his intelligence, charm, talent, magic and appearance, like he hates being coddled but he likes being praised, while irep doesnt get praised and seeks getting praised. But that doesnt change the fact he is a genuinely nice-ish person he just doesn’t like disappointing people, especially those close to him but he’s got a bit of an ego but not in a narcissistic way but in a young adult way where he doesnt exactly think for others first but for himself because he doesnt want to disappoint people. (Which is seen in battle of dimmsonian where hes more worried about being seen by his parents and his career choices then dev). Which is also why he’s a stickler to the rules, like he doesnt want people to think he’s bad person but also jorgen literally drilled it into him that breaking the rules is bad. Like he’s the type to do it right by the books, that comes from him being a bit of a people pleaser, and genuine concern of him messing up his perfect facade.

Speaking of Goldie, i would describe their relationship as fairly close. It takes a while for the either of them to open up to anything personal but they start off as friends of mutual benefits. They use eachother as study buddies, people to hang out with and to talk about their slightly weird interests. And the more they go through uni the more they will confide with each other. Like i imagine a tipping off point for their friendship is when peri finally breaks and gets like a panic attack, Goldie will be there to boost him up. Irep is also their friend but he’s in it more to best Peri or to piss him off. Irep is one of few to see through his act and knows how to break it.

Like genuinely i do think hazel and peri may be counterparts to each other like they both lost their sibling figure, both overthinks scenarios and both want to be appear more mature then they actually are. Like i want anw to be where he grows the most because he’s more challenged to question his behaviours and habits, especially with how these traits affect his and dev’s relationship for the worse.

[weirdo09]

hobie brown

i’d just like to say, i hope y’all never meet a black boy nor man because y’all’s behavior over one black teenager is honestly disturbing.

like the racist headcanons, the not taking accountability for your disturbing fics about him because “HIS AGE ISNT MENTIONED!!” like don’t act dumb, you know them people said that he’s a slight older boy than miles which would be like 1-2 years, making him 16-17. it’s also just the “i want his dick inside of me” “i want to have his kids” and the sex hcs where it’s like “he’ll fuck you hard and not give you aftercare, just leaves you to take care of yourself.”

i’m not really bothered by the smut fics and hcs cause he is attractive and i will read them every once in awhile but y’all be taking it to the extremes, calling him toxic, making him out like some abusive boyfriend, he’s only sweet when he wants you to have sex with him, he only wants you for sex, he’s a full person but only cool because he’s in a band and has sex with you, he lets his band mates fuck you without your consent, he rapes you for whatever reason (y’all’s writings not mine), he doesn’t care about stopping to see if you’re okay or if you need a break.

basically what i’m seeing is that he’s only good for sex and some of the good fics about him only portray certain parts of him. like i’m all for writing about your favorite characters n what not but if you’re basically gonna treat his character like you’re personal boytoy and not see him as anything else, it’s really harmful. especially with y’all not tagging your fics correctly and the smut fics i previously mention get seen by a minor who would want to read smut of him but not that bullcrap.

y’all literally write him being abusive to his partner, not just physically but call it “teasing”. i’m sorry but if my partner said something about breaking up with me or that i’m not good enough, would i think that that’s just “teasing”? like honestly, if you treat all your ‘blorbos’ like this then i feel sorry for you because hobie’s an amazing character that isn’t just there for you to dream about fucking and getting pregnant by him.

he’s there to show you how corruption and fascism impacting your way of life can lead to you wanting to rebel and become an anarchist to that society. he’s there to teach you that you can make your rules, that you’re more than what one person tells you, you tell yourself what you wanna be. he’s a symbol for black people who don’t wanna follow the rules of a white supremacist, fascist society, for the people who’ve ever just been like “fuck the government, i’m my own person.”

i really feel like y’all take him for granted and he is a character for a children’s type of media so the “well minors shouldn’t be looking for his smut!!” doesn’t work here. honestly, do y’all ever care about characters that aren’t perceived as “fuckable” or “attractive” by your standards? it just really pisses me off because y’all act like that’s all he’s there for, your yearning for BBC has really dimmed your perception of this character. HES A IMPORTANT CHARACTER FOR YALL TO ROLE MODEL CAUSE ITS OBVIOUS YALL DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE MOVIE’S CHILD AUDIENCE BUT YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM SO

if you care about hobie, please remember that there’s more to him than you wanting him to fuck you and he would hate the things that you’ve done to him because you have bigger issues in the world than “he would fuck you with his big cock.” LIKE WAKE THE FUCK UP WE COULD BE MAKING ANALYSIS OF HIS CHARACTER BUT INSTEAD YOU THINK THAT HES JUST THERE TO BE EYE CANDY LIKE OMGGGG

just please for the sack of everyone, learn more about his character and stop tryna be antiblack and sex crazed over him. if you love hobie, just stop being the way that you are because it’s honestly disgusting to have to see grown adults wanting a canon minor to fuck them. you ain’t slick, the fact that i even have to write this is disgusting. do better, fandom is more than saying that you would fuck a character, care more about the teenagers on this site that are in the fandom with you as well. stop being selfish and start caring about the other people in the fandom.

[janeya]

Are there any specific things you like or dislike in Jane designs or performances?

dislike: ive made a post on my main of some jane costuming pet peeves! however acting-wise, i don't rly like when jane is played or portrayed older/more mature than the other characters. i think her being a lost scared child is part of the tragedy of her situation, so when she's played younger or by a younger actor it makes me love her sm more. i also think its super important that her body language shows her being inhuman because thats such a big facet of her arc- if she looks or acts too normal i cant really get behind it. i also usually dont like when she has a costume change for bojd, but thats a pesonal preference. im not a big fan of the bojd umbrellas either. i know thats the standard as the tour used them but they just dont really hit for me!

like: as ive said many times before i love when shes super over the top! i think shes so much more interesting when shes extremely inhuman and has lots of makeup and details to her costume. roxys downtown will forever be the standard to me i think? i really like when productions make their jane unique and stand out. ive seen some of the more unique jane designs get tons of hate on tiktok (no one is surprised. rtctok does that all the time) but i hope they know that they have at least one big supporter on here cause my favorite interpretations of her are when the theatre is creative!!! ESPECIALLY if they take inspiration from a specific type of doll- i think more productions should do that. (however, i have seen some which try to make her into a completely new type of character that haven't really worked. i think its good to branch out but deviating too much doesn't always translate onto the stage very well. im not here to hate on any production so i wont say the one im thinking, because i liked some of their choices with her just not all!)

[townslore]

if you're comfortable, i would love to know more about the akechi npd headcanon. i think it's a rlly interesting take on his character and i wanna learn more abt npd bc i have bpd and ig im interested in what people experience with the other cluster b personality disorders? i just kinda wanna know why you think he has it and also maybe some of the mental stuff he has to experience with it. doesn't have to be detailed or personal i dont wanna make u uncomfy! i just cant stop thinking abt this hc haha :)

im actually on a mental health break right now, but this ask intrigued me so im answering it anyway. first off thank you for staying kind throughout the whole thing :)

its kind of hard for me to really describe why i think a character has/is something, because things like personality disorders are still a wide spectrum and every person experiences things differently, and i dont wanna make it seem like theres a one-way to have npd, but im gonna try anyway!

there is a site which helped me immensely throughout my self-diagnosis, so if you want to read more about the topic than what im gonna say here, here u go:

lets start simple and the thing that makes it most obvious to me: the engine room dialogue.

people with npd can heavily rely on other people for their self-esteem, because narcissists usually have a very low one. thats why they take on many tasks ("i was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image—so someone would want me around!") and might overwork themselves for more praise and acknowledgement ("you wanted to be acknowledged, didn't you? to be loved?") because its what they need to not constantly crash. a crash is something that happens when you dont get enough supply—which can be words of affection, praise, acknowledgement, etc—and you internalize it, doubt yourself, feel disgusting and generally you get to a really low point. this is just speculation, but i can see goro having a ton of those, especially during the time the phantom thieves get popular and he becomes public enemy nr 1. thats also why i drew him thinking "i really need supply rn but i'd rather die than ask for attention" because vulnerability is also a big thing people with npd can struggle with. we dont want to be seen as weak—our narcissism is essentially a shield, so we're seen as tough, when in reality, our egos can be very fragile.

one thing that the engine room makes very clear and also other interactions goro has with akira, is that hes very envious of others who have had it better than him. especially someone like akira, who was thrown away by society just like he was, was able to move past it, found friends and is acknowledged by many people. goro is jealous of it all, and thats the thing; people with npd can feel like they're supposed to be special ( and to me, with goro explaining how he got his personas, and how he often calls others stupid, its clear that he does feel that way about himself to a certain degree ) and anyone who threatens that status, anyone who seems much more special than we are is seen as a legitimate threat. its an ugly feeling and it can make us hate even those we love for some time.

this attributes to dysregulation of our emotions too. people with npd often feel their emotions, especially negative ones, way more intense than they actually should be and have difficulty calming down due to that. negative emotions often linger for a long period of time and its hard to move on so we hold grudges. now this might come to no surprise to anyone that goro is a very angry and sad person. especially in the engine room its clear that even after the others extend their hands out to him, its difficult for him to comprehend and he still acts rather mean and calls them idiots for trying to "save" him. when someone with npd is experiencing a multitude of negative emotions, it may cause them to avoid other people or act aggressive towards them because they feel trapped. theres many explanations as to why goro is the way he is in the 3rd semester, and i dont think only one of them has to be correct, but i do think that with the knowledge of whats happening ( like: being under the control of someone else again, or having to work with people who are unpredictable and who have seen you at your lowest point ) makes him act out to keep all of them, especially akira, at bay.

in the duel against akira—im sorry i cant really quote it, i just have a general idea of it in my head rn—i read what he says in a way that makes it clear that he struggles with a superiority AND inferiority complex, which sounds stupid at first i know, but its fairly easy to explain. like i already said, a narcissist's self-esteem is usually pretty low and we rely on others to know how to feel about ourselves. theres two traits of npd that are necessary traits to have: being self-centered and feeling entitled to good treatment, and seeking admiration from others/liking to be the center of attention. so there is some kind of superiority complex going on, at least thats what i would call it in goro's ( and my ) case. we can feel on top of the world in one moment, but once we have a crash or experience intense negative emotions, its back to being the worst human being on earth. i dont think its ooc to say that goro hates himself, as some like to claim he only ever thinks hes better than everyone else. i think that just attributes to harmful stigma. with everything goro experiences in life, coping with narcissism to hide a fragile sense of being just makes sense to me.

theres more i could probably add here but this thing is long enough as is. please do keep in mind that many of my headcanons for goro are me projecting—but that doesnt mean theres no basis for it in canon as well, as i've tried to explain here. at first i actually thought he could have bpd, but i dont know enough about it to really judge that—so it could still very well be that, or both, i dont really know how it works! im rather new to this as well, and at first i was scared of doing any research because npd is so heavily stigmatized. i wish there were more people like you, anon.

if you have any more questions feel free to ask them :)

[ppenguinpperson]

canine girl in all her doggy glory!! already posted her design and profile the other day, but i updated her profile and i want all her images in one post.. speaking of her profile, warning warning for talk of violence there more on canine (+ lyrics?!! Woah!!) under the cut:)

canine girl is inspired/an au of my oc alík, but i don't think it'd be wrong to say she's a different character alltogether? while the things she struggles with are things that alík does, too, she's more like.. idk ❤️only i can understand this ...

as you may have guessed by her warning, canine girl has violent intrusive thoughts, and feels extremely guilty for them, even if she never acts out on them. her profile doesnt get too into this .. since she feels that guilt and shame, i don't think she'd wanna share the details online .. or with anybody ever.. you know how it is 💥

her design is smth i struggled with greatly .. her mask is this

and as soon as i saw it on alíks pinterest board i was set on using it and im sooo happy i did!! i think it works greatly..!!! other notable things about her design, that im happy with, are mostly to do with her hoodie. her hoodie-ears are actual ears, shes just hiding them:) and its made to resemble a service dog vest!

you can't really see it in the 'fake screenshot' art, the first one, but she's got a kind of belt (harness ?) around her chest !! its around her shoulders too.. and her chain hanging from that could be interpreted as a leash ig ?? idk 💥💥you'll never understand sinister minds inner workings... another design-y thing is !! shes got her arms around herself in the fake screenshot, which is bc she's hiding her claws from you 💥her eyes are also made to resemblea wolfs:)

her pants are just like that bc its alíks fashion sense 💥and bc i think they fit! and i like them!! a little treat just for me:)

another thing that i wanna talk about is her profile!! its so !! chill !! the colours are warm and inviting, her info there is silly, she invites you to talk with her if you're struggling, shes got fun blinkies.. !! shes just having fun on a site hanging out and chilling .. its like that bc i wanted to show, even if in a little way, that intrusive thoughts arent indicative of a persons identity. canine's intrusive thoughts don't make her a bad person, they don't make her a rabid dog like she thinks, they just make her somebody with intrusive thoughts. shes more than her intrusive thoughts, you know ??

anyhow! the lyrics !! i wrote lyrics for a theoretical song that she would have, but Wont, because im not a songwriter. i might make a silly littly tune for her one day, like a minute long at most, most likey shorter, so these lyrics are what you get !! and also it was my second time writing actual lyrics (first time was 10 minutes before when i was writing lyrics for another tptm oc, unknown girl) so Dont be meanies... Ok... treat me niceys... her voice for this would be kohaku merry btw :3

warning, again, more specified this time: themes of violent intrusive thoughts, talk of violence, vague references to generational abuse

That I’m just like a dog, I know Got the leash and collar to show Tug it one way, then another I’ll obey you like no other

But obedience doesn’t cut it With teeth sharper than a razor blade The only way to be is afraid That’s what I say, anyway

Can’t say I’m sorry, not to you That’d scare me, letting you know  About your mangled body on the floor Still just a fantasy, nothing more

(Violent thoughts suppressed) Ineffective muzzle helps little (Violent needs repressed) ‘Cause my razors make it brittle It’s not on purpose, just my spittle Can’t help my second nature

(BEAT ME, FLAY ME, LEAVE ME DEAD PLEASE DO YOUR WORST, I BEG IT WON’T BE UNDESERVING TO BEAT A WILD DOG SENSELESS

GIVE IT YOUR ALL, YOUR EVERYTHING WE BOTH KNOW I’D DO WORSE WERE I NOT A DOG BUT SOMETHING LIKE I AM NOW, JUST SHAMELESS)

The carpet floor’s forever stained A family heirloom of violence and hate Trying so hard to reject that norm Can’t help but feel it’s all I’m destined for

Gotta stop myself with only a collar Can’t be like my father’s bully father So as long as you hold my leash I swear I’ll hide my deepest needs

Even if it’s not real, I fear You’ll reach into me and see All these sinful fantasies Of your bloody arteries I don’t mean them, believe me It’s just that this is all I know how to be A mutt that doesn’t know any better Only to claw and dismember

(Violent thoughts excessed) Maybe it’s just natural selection (Violent needs processed) Can no longer deny this connection That I’m just like a dog, I know Got all this shame to show

Your hands are only ever kind A stark contrast to my mind It’s not real, just thoughts, I know Adrenaline still fills me though

My collar thins, soon it will snap Go away, don’t want you here for that Your kindness is naivety My impending misery Your outstretched hand is prey Don’t say I didn’t warn you  Here comes the prophesised day Where the hand feeds no more

(WITH MY LEASH AND MUZZLE GONE YOU MISTAKE FOR A FAWN YOU THROW MY COLLAR TO THE FLOOR I BEG, PUT IT BACK ON NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT C’MON DON’T BE SO CRUEL AND SHOW ME I’M THE ONLY VICTIM TO MY FANTASY)

[steven-has-exploded]

ive yet to really see anyone else point this out but i think fyodor is going to end up being one of the most gut-wrenchingly unstable and sympathetic (to ME atleast) characters in bsd. what i perceive as foreshadowing for this has all been pretty vague, but thats really only further ammunition considering the way asagiri likes to write via throwing the wildest shit at us out of nowhere at 50mph and expecting us to deal with it. how did i first come to this conclusion? harukawas eye thing

this is going to be long please proceed with caution if you read slowly or just not at literal supersonic speed. rant under cut u know how this works

for those unaware or who have since forgotten the exact details, here is the image explaining harukawas thing with eyes, click to read;

so. fyodors eyes are usually very light, which a few other people have pointed out is probably due to the fact he genuinely believes his goal of ridding the world of abilities is following gods will; almost everything he does is a necessary evil to acheive the idealistic dream of a world without abilities. he understands his actions are wrong, but you cant go through with a goal such as that without doing morally reprehensible things in the process. anws so as user wildflowerteas pointed out his eyes are extremely dark after hes resurrected

now, could this just be signifying that fyodor can now continue doing his fucked up little deeds via his functional immortality? yes. but asagiri doesnt seem to write that way and i need an excuse to defend fyodor because im insane

asagiri generally doesnt write characters, especially important ones, as subscribing to one specific side of the moral compass. sure, there are characters that are more morally good or bad or gray than others, but not every one of their actions is as such. characters arent straight heroes or villains in their actions, and sometimes not even narratively; fitzgerald did everything for his wife to finally be happy and see her daughter again, dazai still trained akutagawa the way he did despite knowing it was abusive because his circumstances couldnt allow him to change before oda died, et cetera

so, lets interpret it another way. fyodors eyes being dark after resurrection may not be a reflection of his sinister personality, but rather the way he views and experiences his own countless deaths. he is purified in death and tainted when hes brought back; at peace in his last moments and destroyed when hes alive again. so what conclusion did this realization bring me to? fyodor is a suicidal maniac and hates his ability hear me out Please

in hindsight it seems really obvious to me now; what other reason could have spurred him on to try to desperately to erase abilities if not because he himself despises his own? his ability is truly the purest act of cruelty someone can experience when driven to the point he has been; it lets him bask in the calm of death, the comfort of everything finally ending, the solace that hes going to be finally rewarded for his actions by god. but only for a moment. once that moment is over, hes torn back into the world of the living, in the body of his own killer, the corpse of his last vessel staring him in the face as if to mock him for what he could never have. it deprives him of the human right to even die. what kind of person who claims to love all humanity wouldnt want to free the world of abilities, if others' have caused them as much pain as his has to him?

okok i apologize for making u hear me wax poetic about an anime twink version of fyodor dostoevsky but if youre still not convinced, which is ok i can see why this would be very insane to someone who isnt obsessed with this guy, i want you to just imagine for a moment how living with that kind of power would effect you. while we dont know fyodors exact age, we can assume that hes been alive for at least about 500 years due to his ability. fyodor isnt some kind of immortal being that has a conveniently human form, he is an actual human being who was first murdered presumably just in his twenties based on his appearance, who then had to slowly come to the realization that he will experience small spots of death before having to continue the same cycle of immortality for forever. human beings cant grasp the concept of infinity; our brains arent wired to deal with the idea, because everything in our own lives comes to an end. fyodor will never experience that. even if you view him as plain evil, pure and simple, no human being wishes to have their brain broken by the hands of infinity. and yet thats what fyodor is experiencing

[hostilemuppet]

Seeing your takes on Flippy, I do wish he wasn’t a split personality type and he was moreso just like seeing anything horrible happen would make him get extremely worked up and try to murder the person/thing that is causing the trouble. I feel like he should also just hate war because of the morality behind it and that’s why he gets that pissed off, because he feels war is an injustice and he’s doing his part to stop injustices (in his eyes) so that the world will be less corrupt

flippys an odd case bc just going by early episodes it doesnt seem like they were going for the evil alter hollywood DID route. just look how many times he supposedly "comes to his senses" only to continue doing fucked up shit! even in his debut episode

hes clearly got his normal eyes (he actually has them throughout the episode, except for the initial time where he hears the bird and his pupils contract, his eyes are completely normal. his pupils are contracted throughout his "episode" in the second ep he stars in)

even though the others presumably helped kill flaky, he was the only one to laugh, and hes clearly "flippy" in this case (and i KNOW he was originally gonna be pop so this one is to be taken with a grain of salt, but they specifically chose to switch pop out with flippy bc they didnt think pop would intentionally kill someone but flippy would)

flippy lucid again but still decides to dip his chips in cuddles' blood

its not until the last episode batch of the tv series where flippy and "fliqpy" (I LITERALLY HATE THE NAME FLIQPY SOOOO MUCH. NO ONE ON THE TEAM USES IT. SHUT THE FUCK UP IT WAS A SINGULAR GAG FROM KAPOW) are actually portrayed as two separate identities

since the team said themselves what they wanted to do with the tv series was give characters more personality traits with the longer time slots, i think this was definitely a "new thing", like giggles' environmentalism and cuddles' rocker aspirations. and, this part is just a hunch, i think it was also DROPPED, like giggles' environmentalism and cuddles 'rocker aspirations, since it has never been treated like a split personality since. without a hitch, on my mind, random acts of silence, by the seat of your pants, in over your hedge, a vicious cycle: NOTHING points to "fliqpy" being flippys alter. we dont see anything he acted like in hear today gone tomorrow or double whammy: none of the guilt, none of the nightmares, none of the Oh No I Have Killed When I Was Out, the one time we actually see him "snap out of it" he doesnt fucking care that he just attacked probably his only friend, because hes ACTUALLY fucked up

so. this has just been a long way to say i dont actually think they intend for him to be a split personality stereotype. i think they did obviously go that route briefly in the tv series but, again, so many character traits were tv series exclusive, and treating this one like it isnt when it was dropped? like ok you do you i also pretend giggles still cares about the environment but PERSONALLY. dont see flippy as a that for anything more than the two tv eps. i think hes just the one guy who gets in Moods, he doesnt have a bastardised mangling of dissociative identity disorder, if anything he has bipolar disorder LOL. i leave you with

[eggtwobroes]

big post explaining/apologizing for my (eggtwobroes/theyhitthepentagon) behavior under the read more

sorry for maintagging this i just. think its important

i dont really kniw how to word what im thinking so im like. going to type it as im thinking. but i wanted to make a real genuine post explaining my behavior over the past year, because ive been a dick there is no avoiding it!! this post is going to be about how ive acted from june up until now. im mostly going to be explaining the situations and apologizing. if you see this please feel free to share it around, i know it most likely will not reach alot of people because i have like. a loot of people blocked. and alot of people have me blocked. idk please share this ok thank u

back in june 2022 (specifically one year tomorrow, june 16th) i got like. really worked up after i had foundout that most of my adult mutuals (and some people i followed) were drawing hlvrai nsfw! the only post i had made about it (at least from what i remember) is liiike a not Kind post that basically said "hey if u like hlvrai nsfw please block me i thought that was common sense". after i posted this a large hlvrai artist (either by chance or caused by me) posted like "hey if u shit on hlvrai porn ur homophobic! sex is an important part of gay relationships etc etc"

this caused a Massive out break of discourse over hlvrai nsfw and me getting alot of adults in my inbox being weird towards me. here i feel its important to mention that:

when i was 12, i was around Ex Friends that posted a lot of porn of media i liked. even though most of them were teenagers and not that much older than me it Greatly Impacted Me and how i act, both related to what i saw and how i was treated

i used twitter from ages 12-15 (recently left) and you know how they handle conflict there. its not good

i dont think either of these excuse how i acted (but they may explain it)

the combined pressure of getting a bunch of adults in my anons being (from my perspective) really weird about this 14 year old kid who doesnt want porn artists to interact, and the unhealed trauma of Being Exposed To Homestuck Porn When I Was 12 (a devastating situation that everyone goes though all the time) i didnt really. handle it in a Good Way. which Means i sent horrible anon hate to people.i dont clearly remember if i made alot of public posts about the situation at the time (beyond answering the anons i was getting) but if i did im very very VERY sorry.

i feel like. alot of how i acted during this time (june-early august, mostly) was extremely Dickish and rude. as much as i justify or explain why i acted the way i did, i was still causing issues and handling the situation in a way that was unhealthy for not just myself but for everyone else around me. for this i really genuinely do apologize as much as i can, to the people ive hurt (melonsharks, xenodogz, many other artists) and to the people who were annoyed by me rehashing 3 year old drama. ever since the situation i have been working towards learning to block people and move on if they make content that makes me feel nauseous.

As for how ive acted in recent months, mostly over characterization, im not going to pretend that im already a new person. because im not! as much as i say im trying to be less of an asshole im just Not. it takes effort that i feel like im not putting in.

for those who just Dont look at my pages often enough, i will occasionally make posts about how hlvrai fans treat or characterize the. characters. and lets behonest these posts are really rude and ive been working on at LEAST being more vague or keeping it in private or like. just Not Posting it. but of course i HAVENT done all of those things! ive been really unvague!

ive posted direct screenshots of authors writing (someone younger than me, ive recently learned) to shit on it for being mischaracterized. i should Not have done that. at the very least i should have kept my thoughts to myself, not even shared with my friends.

after reading how other authors and artists have felt about the things ive said, and looking at the way ive come to think of other artists or authors in the community, ive realized that even though i thought i was targetting mischaracterization and poor treatment of the characters, i was harming and discouraging artists and authors who are still learning and growing as creators.

for this, im VERY very sorry to all of the artists and writers ive hurt or discouraged with my posts. i want to personally apologize to joyflameball, for publicly posting about and hating on your writing and the discouragement i caused as a result. i should have never put mischaracterization over your own feelings, and i definitely should not have put your work on blast, especially because we are (i think) around the same age. i will be trying as best as i can to deconstruct the way ive come to think of other creators in this community and support other creators as best i can.

i dont expect to be forgiven for the way ive acted, since alot of this is VERY very recent and so far i dont think ive shown any signs of improvement. i am writing this post now because i want you all to know that i will be trying my hardest to become a better person, change the way i think of other people, and change the way i act in public. i dont think my actions can be excused, as much as i try my best to explain them from my perspective. ive undeniably hurt many people. if i havent addressed something important, or if you have any questions/things to say, please feel free to send me an ask or dm me at wretched yaoi lich#9564 on discord. im most likely going to be queueing this post alot so my followers see it. thank u for ur time

[sol-paredes]

My thoughts now that i've finished it (spoilers for the whole game)

-hate that you cant make your character fat

-love the characters and how they are introduced

-kinda hate astarion sorry. Didnt do his quest cause he was mean to me.

-the absolute being a big ass brain was so fucking funny to me i cant explain

-lae'zel is a failgirl and i love her

-i fucked that squid and regretted it. Found out that if you dont have tentacle sex with him he shows you fucked up shit he did. Really mean tbh 👎 will side with orpheus next time

-theres not 17000 endings there's like 3

-lots of weird visual glitches at least in the low settings

-i spotted a few continuity errors in the dialogue but i can forgive that cause there's so many routes to take

-game starts with a really nice pace in act 1, then it becomes reeeeeeeally slow in act 2 and way too fast in act 3.

-The combat system is really fun i love casting spells and fireballs 💥 the fight against ketheric was really good but the other two were meh. So much hype for orin and then she does nothing and dies. And gortash is like if elon musk was a dnd character (i deactivated his iphone robots and killed him in like 2 hits)

-best luck to the tiefling kids i hope the giant brain falling didnt kill them

-omeluum my love. The highlight of the game im not being sarcastic. Extremely good character reveal he has 2 lines of dialogue and i'd give him a hug and help him plan his wedding with blurg.

-game feels half cooked in general. It's a reeally massive game and they should have given it a few more years

-karlach... I love you dude

-seriously the ending was really rushed

-the giant ass brain is cool as fuck though so its ok i guess

-but i wanted to see more. What will hapen to the githyanki now. What about the illithids what about avernus. And the grove's tieflings and all of the people we met. They just show you the yay happy ending screen where are they where is omeluum

-cant we just give karlach heart surgery please. I have revivify spells

-overall good game solid 785/1000 i will play it again and be a cool dragon this time. And also destroy the druids this time cause they suck. Will steal their idol and eat it

-also when your character is rowing the boat towards the final fight they're only using one oar so they should be spinning in circles

-omeluum

[1863-project]

so for your poll abt abelism in fandom communities - i voted yes + reblogged but i will say i dont 1000% know im doing this right.

but for my experiences its been a lot of stigmatising of cluster b personality disorders. i have BPD which is already incredibly misunderstood/stigmatised but especially in fandom spaces where its "i headcanon x character w bpd" and immediately met with "no u cant bc ppl w bpd r evil and functionally not even ppl!!! all they do is hurt ppl they care about fuck them fuck ppl w bpd!!!" which

is incredibly harmful, as you'd imagine.

as well, i have autism and suspected schizophrenia and OCD (autism diagnosed, i am working on getting evaluated for schizophrenia and/or OCD) and fandom spaces can be incredibly rude to people with autism. whether it is schizophrenia related or not, i deal with extreme bouts of paranoia. fandom spaces also have a tendency to play into this - ie "joking" threats to be in my walls to hunt me down to kill me because i have a different fandom opinion.

its. alot. and i avoid most fandom spaces because of it.

Anon, I'm so sorry this has been your experience, because it absolutely should not be. This is the entire point of doing the poll and using the data to work on an essay - this behavior needs to be addressed and acknowledged as harmful.

I'm autistic with OCD myself, and this website is definitely bad to people with OCD. The misunderstanding of intrusive thoughts and how so many people become purity police and assume those intrusive thoughts actually mean you want to do something instead of understanding that they cause OCD folks extreme distress and anxiety is really, really harmful. And don't get me started on autism - I've been out in the real world doing self-advocacy for over a decade now, and the way a lot of people in fandom spaces treat autism is abysmal - there's even a lot of internalized ableism on that front, i.e. "I can't be ableist because I'm also disabled!" We all have internalized ableism to work through because of the world we live in.

Cluster B personality disorders and psychotic disorders get it the worst, though, with people treating those with them as "inhuman" and "evil" more often than not. No one is inherently more "evil" than anyone else. A personality disorder doesn't necessarily indicate that a person is bad. A psychotic disorder doesn't, either. BPD in particular actually makes a person very vulnerable to being abused due to the nature of how it works, but people love ignoring that part.

RE: people using your paranoia to send hateful anons, be really careful about what you share about yourself online. If you give too much information about what specifically can be used to hurt you, some people will absolutely do it. I know I may sound like an overly cautious adult to many of you (I'm 34), but when I was a teenager, we didn't put any personal information online in order to keep ourselves safe. If you aren't talking to people you really trust, don't necessarily share that information, because people are often cruel when they feel they can be so without any repercussions. Don't put all your triggers in your Carrd, don't make massive DNIs with all of the things that can hurt you in them - just use the block button and protect yourselves. Not everyone is acting in bad faith, and indeed, most humans aren't, but there are always some who will, and if they know how to hurt you or get back at you, they won't hesitate to hit where it hurts.

I'm sorry you have to remove yourself from fandom spaces just to feel safe, anon. It really isn't fair and you should be allowed to have a safe experience too.

[iwishf1wasreal]

I'm new to F1 and have no idea why ppl hate Daniel and Max...what did both of them do?

first and foremost, welcome! i hope you're enjoying f1!

secondly...this is a lot of lore to squeeze into one post. i think most of the max hate started with the 2021 championship controversy. if you've seen DTS, its goes into it all but that caused a really big divide in f1. max has been called out by the mongolian government for using slurs on the radio and he didnt really have the best reaction. his gf, kelly piquet, is the daughter for former f1 driver nelson piquet, who had some pretty nasty racist things to say about lewis (tho max did say it was wrong to say them...but also defended nelson's character :/). i'm sure theres more but that's all i have off the top of my head.

as for daniel, i was a huge daniel fan. i put time and money into that little elf. then he did an interview with barstool sports that was that start of my disillusionment. he's always been pretty douchey-frat-boy-y with edgelord humor and obvious pandering to his male fans (despite probably having more women fans but i digress). in the interview, daniel makes a joke about women driving. extremely original material, we've never heard that in the 31 years since a woman last raced in formula one. he has a long history of making jokes like that--quite literally too many examples to put into one post. most recently, he publicly supported Christian horner after he was accused of harassment and said he felt for him. it just felt like such a slap in the face considering how hard it is to just be a FAN that's a woman around motorsport. getting sexually harassed at races or at work and spammed online by meninist losers isn't enough, the drivers feel they need to start shitting on us too. so, i still have a lot of frustration towards him because men ages 13-65 love daniel and when he acts like that, it only emboldens them to do it too. and ten times worse because they dont have a public image or brand to protect.

but its f1, there's always a reason to hate everyone. seriously, name any driver and they have something that makes you look at them a lil different. it is the sport of war crimes, tax evaison and crusty old europeans assholes.

[these-detestable-hands]

hi hi i dont know any of your ocs bt i like asking things soo please do uhhid alphabetical order if you have multiple ocs. like first number is one oc, second is the next, etc, to anwwer the following: 1, 2, 4, 8, 15, 20

or also just answer however you want this is your choice :D

OOOOOO THANK YOU!!! I LOVE TALKING ABIUT MY OCS. I ended up just picking thd character that'd have the most interesting answer for each question.

1. Describe your OC physically

Helena is extremely tall, she's 190. She also lives in Brazil which does not help with her feeling out of place for being so tall. She has a sharp jawline, big nose and she's very physically strong so people often make rude assumptions about her cause she looks "traditionally masculine". As for notable features, I'd say her dimples and her hair. It's very curly, long and dark but in some aus it's bright red. My favorite feature is her hooked nose.

2. What role would your OC fill in a friend group?

Ricardo is a mom friend. He has a lot of health issues so by default then he always has a bag of essentials with him. Over time, he ended up putting things in it that he knew his friends might need just in case. His friends all adore him for it.

4. How do they act when they're sick?

Juno gets sick a lot so she always tries to hide it and stay out of people's ways cause she doesn't like being a burden. As a kid, her parents would take time off from work to take care of her and as an adult then her husband also goes out of his way to make sure she rests and recovers. Her family loves her a lot and refuses to not help simply because she doesn't want to inconvenience them.

8. What's something your OC owns that means the world to them? What's something they own that they don't like, but can't bring themselves to part with?

Nazik has tons of letters that she's saved over hundreds of years from dead friends. She often rereads them. One of them was from an ex and it said he wanted to call off their engagement because he was going out to war and didn't want to die and leave her behind. He survived but years passed and he ended up marrying another woman but Nazik keeps the letter cause she still loves him.

Also it's worth mentioning that Nazik is a several hundred year old vampire and her ex was a human.

15. How does your OC take up space? What do they do with their hands when they talk, or how do they sit in chairs?

Salvador fidgets a lot. He wears gloves so he tugs at them and adjusts them while talking. He used to be a prince so he knows how to sit properly but prefers sitting sideways in armchairs. Also loves sitting with his legs crossed.

20. What kind of clothing do they feel most comfortable in? What kind of clothing do they wear most often?

Molly feels most confident in long dresses, pants, sweaters and long sleeved shirts. She mostly dresses modestly but sometimes goes full goth with crop tops, short leather skirts and fish nets. She feels nice wearing it cause she lives in a very friendly and sweet community. Later in the story, she stops wearing more revealing clothes all together and just does extremely modest stuff because of a specific unfun event that made her hate her own body. She still dresses goth sometimes, just also modestly.

[reanimationstation]

Do you have any headcanons for new batdr characters? (Audrey,toon Bendy etc?)

boy do i! admittedly i haven't rotated audrey as much as i shouldve since i played batdr but in my defense ive been thinking about ben

it got long so under the cut

audrey:

i think it'd be sweet if she started to regard henry as her other father. idk if anyone has ever told her that her dad def had a crush on him but i feel like she'd still find a good mentor in him. at least someone who will listen to her.

she keeps on seeing boris around the studio and really wants to meet him but hasnt had a good excuse to (she also wants to test out her theory that all borises like to be pet like tom was)

i think that in the new cycles/iterations she should be able to figure out how to change peoples designs. like how the lost ones got more details in batdr as opposed to batim? maybe give searchers the ability to talk and all that. legs even. just to improve quality of life down there

idk what the hell happened at the end of the game but im gonna choose to ignore how it seems like she betrayed the ink demon after he trusts her because :(

ben:

baby boy. baby

yes hes still the ink demon even post game dont look at me. i. look, im taking this as a (BOOK ACCURATE) jekyll and hyde situation. same person, he just acts differently based on what society expects of him. but he didnt want to be a monster, he was forced to become one because thats what his creator (joey) thought of him as (like frankenstein!). he contains multitudes

so post game, i think he can finally start to slowly put down those walls and act as a middle ground between both extremes. he can heal, he can learn how to trust again.

that being said i think he should still be able to transform into ink demon form if he felt like it. as a treat.

not a headcanon but i forgive him, personally. if you were treated like a monster your whole life wouldn't you be ANGRY? he's done nothing wrong besides all the atrocities

i have a lot of feelings about him as you can see

autistic. i will not be elaborating

betty:

i think she should unionize post game

she'd still be audrey's housekeeper cause she likes the work but she has dental now

has weekly tea with malice, allison, heidi, and an honorary porter (and audrey when shes there) to exchange gossip

keepers:

i want them dead

poor norman was probably dissected to be studied to make them

idk if they have human in them or if theyre purely mechanical but it's probably old gent workers

i usually respect mad scientists but i hate them so much

should be killable in game change my mind

porter:

i think he got the rope after allison gave him the advice to always carry rope

i like to think he's from the heavenly toys department... probably likes to tinker and make new toys

heidi:

queen

accidentally overhears a lot of gossip when shes hiding

wears a bow because she thought it looked cute on bendy and therefore she wanted one.

doesnt hate the ink demon because when he appears its just impromptu hide and seek (if you're caught you die :D!)

archie carter

i dont actually have any interesting headcanons for him but a really funny story is that i was with my friend while she was playing and we got to his log and we both were like wow he has such a nice voice tf fav background character?? and two days later i found out it was superhorrorbro mike and i was mortified because i WATCH his videos and i didn't recognize his voice 😭 it was so embarrassing

still my favorite new background character (who has a log)

wilson:

i also dont have any headcanons for him but i hate him and i hate that audrey was siding with him for some of the game even AFTER learning about how the keepers tortured ben and augh ill stop talking

[mikeys-bike-slut]

Why I really hate Takemichi:

I thought I should explain cause some people seem butt hurt that I hate him so I thought I explain.

He was very annoying in the beginning, he stressed me out, he was fucking useless, but oh well, so was Naruto haha. But then slowly towards the middle he grew some balls and had a great character development. He actually worked on himself and actually became someone who was worthy to be a Toman captain. He truly saved everyone and damn, I was actually proud of that dumbass... until he started looking for Mikey...

Ignoring everyone's warning, but hey, I guess understandable, right? The Mikey he knew was a kind person who cared so much for his loved ones. I could kind of understand that BUT even after seeing the tape Mikey left him, where he explained why he pushed everyone away he still went after him. And that's what bothers me so much. Mikey literally sacrificed himself for his loved ones, he KNEW that he won't be able to fight his dark impulses alone, he knew he will drown in it without his friend but he cared so much about their life he rather sacrificed his own than to let anyone get hurt because of him, because he knew being around him will be dangerous and dealing with his impluses will be draining and painful. And he did. By pushing everyone away and make them hate him he basically saved their life.

-He had no choice but to act the way he did, to actually hurt them because he knew otherwise they would never abandon him, they were his closest friends and extremely loyal; one for all, all for one, remember? And Mikey knew this, therefore he had no other choice but to make them hate him-

Everyone had a good future, everyone was happy because of Mikey's sacrifice but Takemichi didn't for a second stop and think about it nor tried to understood Mikey's reason, he has this hero complex and he just had to find Mikey, despite all the warnings.

I understand the time leap was not his fault but could have just go back and leave things as they were and go back -somehow- but he didn't, still ignoring Mikey's wish and his sacrifice he went ahead and messed with the future resulting in Draken's death, which lead to Mitsuya's complete break down. God knows who else is going to die because of Takemichi's recklessness. Thanks to him EVERYTHING Mikey has sacrificed and worked for to save everyone and keep everyone safe was for nothing because of him.

Everyone has been through hell, so much suffering and loss but finally had a good future, something they all deserved, until Takemichi.

So this is why I hate him.

As for Mikey: I love him, and I know he deserves happiness but honestly? Can he really be saved? As someone who struggles with a lot of trauma and darkness I know how it feels; struggling between wanting to stay away from people but at the same time not wanting to be left alone, and because of that I understand and respect Mikey's decision. I know it from myself that Mikey pushed them away because if he wouldn't he would have felt selfish for keep them around for his own sake; to save him from himself, and meanwhile I know they would have stayed with Mikey and would have wanting to help him, Mikey didn't want to place that burden on them, he wanted them to live their own life without having to worry about him, especially Draken.

Mikey's action was the most selfless act of love in the entire manga series.

P.s: I like to add I mean no disrespect if you like Takemichi. We all like the characters we like! I simply just explained from my point of view, as someone who relates a lot to Mikey and those characters who suffered a lot. If you like Takemichi go for it! Just dont shit on those who prefer Mikey or Shin. -which I have experienced a lot from Takemichi fans- Be nice to each other we all like the same manga in the end, dont we? Haha

[satoumafuyuss]

I'm the fandom headcanon discourse anon! And yeah I fully agree with your addition!

More thoughts about this: I read a post in the BG3 fandom a couple months ago on how you can pick any voice regardless of your character's genitalia. They said that while it was nice trans inclusivity, it doesn't actually represent the full scope of what trans people sound like. It sort of moved me, and I wish we had more of that in general!

Not to say that trans people can never pass because that's absolutely wrong, but I wish it wasn't so universally treated as the absolute endgoal of being trans. I wish the full spectrum of bodies that comes with being trans or cis was represented in media.

And also that people didn't immediately headcanon characters who fail to very strictly conform to gender roles as "trans people who aren't there just yet" or "trans people who you can clock as trans because they act/look like their agab". It's super uncomfortable. I think there is a lot of worth to be found in respectfully representing early transition trans people/trans people who dont care about passing, but it just feels like fandom spaces are enforcing gender roles instead of supporting that. I don't think it's healthy to have that level of scrutiny over the way people simply exist.

I don't think people stop and think about why they associate thinness, whiteness and youthfulness with femininity both outside and within trans circles. There is this mentality of thinking that as soon as something is lgbtq its absolutely morally pure, and I truly hate it! People should be more critical of things!

But anyway feel free to use those thoughts for your video!!! I wish to remain anonymous but I'm happy I can help you with it.

you are so right anon..!!!

Passing is not the end-goal for many trans people, myself included. It honestly kinda bothers me that the go to compliment for trans people is "you pass so well!" cause like.. unless the person in question was specifically asking if they pass or not or felt like they don't and it bothers them.. it's kinda weird. I've seen so many trans people make posts talking about the fact they don't care about passing or don't want to but people STILL comment "omg but you pass so well!" cause to them passing is the ultimate goal for us and they cannot fathom someone being comfortable and happy in their visible transness.

All trans people deserve to be represented and heard. We're all individuals with different goals and needs for our bodies and identities. Listen to the individual! So many people who know I'm trans for some reason always ask each other things about me instead of just asking ME. And it's just lead to no one understanding who I really am and it's so hard to correct them anymore. It's like a game of telephone.. really does not help I was outed to my entire outer family even though I told the person who did it I wanted to tell them all on my own terms and one at a time so it could be personal. but whatever.

I've had many people in my life comment things like "if you're a boy why do you still wear skirts? why do you carry a purse? why do you have long hair? why do you paint your nails?" etc etc and it made me dysphoric not because those things made me feel that way.. but the fact my identity was questioned purely based on my interests and clothing. Why can't I just say I'm a boy without it being questioned? I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.

Anyway, sorry got a little personal there but I guess my feelings on this matter are very personal so.. ahem.

And yeah I totally agree with the point of people believing things to be 100% pure and good when it has even a little bit of LGBTQ+ representation in it. It's a huge problem with media literacy I think. There are plenty of extremely bad and problematic medias out there that have queer rep in them but I still see people praise them for purely HAVING queer people in it. Meanwhile god forbid a media have nuance and subtext and coding instead of blatant representation and suddenly its the worst and most problematic thing in history for not saying anything outright..

What makes a trans headcanon offensive or not is down to the context of the character.

For example. Say you have a character who's interests do not align with the traditional things their agab "should" enjoy. They have a big character arc about being their agab while still enjoying these things because their interests don't effect their gender identity at all.. this is a character who is offensive to headcanon as trans.. (atleast when you try to make their gender identity align with their interests instead of the identity they heavily express in the media. like hcing a male character who wears skirts as a transman is fine imo cause it doesn't change his gender identity, which in this case, is very important to him.)

Now this time we have a character who has no arcs relating to gender identity or expression of anything like that. if you headcanon this character as a trans it is 100% okay! There's no gender roles to point to here!! you're just having fun!!

Then we have an ambiguous character, a character who doesn't particularly care about being treated one way or the other and just enjoys what they enjoy which happens to be different than what they are "expected" to like based on their agab. This character is also fine to hc as trans cause obviously their gender identity isn't that important to them.

And finally the most offensive. This character is heavily implied to be a trans already. They express gender problems relating to being trans one way but people read this and somehow cannot fathom that a trans character has ALREADY transitioned (socially and/or medically) and assumes this means the character is a trans the other way. Ignoring all the obvious signs and coding that they are, in fact, very wrong. Because a lot of people these days have no media literacy or reading comprehension. (also works for nonbinary characters where people insist upon them being binary one way or the other which is.. annoying(such as Crona from Soul Eater))

Anyway SORRY I RAMBLED FOR AWHILE LMAO ahem ahem thank you for offering your thoughts for my video on the topic! It's good to get other peoples opinions and thoughts on it cause I don't want it to be one-sided and only from my pov lol I hope everything I said makes sense idk I have a bit of a headache lmao