#dont have an explanation for this one

[mothsartart]

something shadow princess something something

[ID in alt]

[inbabylontheywept]

Soviet Birds.

The secret facility that I work in has holes in the ceiling. We don't know how to get them fixed.

We tried asking the government to fix it, once. We told them that the holes in the older parts of the facility had gotten large enough to fit birds through, and that birds were getting through, and that, perhaps, a Soviet Spy could fit through as well.

After all, it is well known that Soviet Spies and pigeons are approximately the same diameter.

Our hope was that that this vague and nonsensical threat would put a little fire under Uncle Sam's feet. If the fed couldn't be bothered to give a shit about the giant gaping holes in the roof of our facility, perhaps they could be persuaded to give a shit about... Soviet Spies.

This attempt at manipulation 100% blew up in our faces.

See, the government does not need to be persuaded to give a shit about Soviet Spies. It still wakes up most nights, drenched in cold sweat, terrified and confident that a Soviet Spy is hiding in their nightstand. If it sees a rock on the ground, it flips it over, pistol drawn, ready to shoot the Soviet Spy it fully expects to slither out from underneath. Which is to say: The government is crazy. So when we dropped those two words - inflitration risk - in the repair request, they came in guns-a-blazin'.

Does that mean that they fixed the roof? Of course not. Don't be stupid. No, instead of performing basic maintenance, they installed a state of the art alarm system throughout the facility - lasers, sonar, the works - and told us to always be on the guard. Because of the roof holes.

Then they left.

So now we had an extremely good alarm system... and birds. Which have combined in incredibly obvious and predictable ways to produce an unending fountain of problems.

For Example: About once a month, someone gets called in by the local airforce dispatch because AAAAAAAAAAA a Spy is in the Rad Lab! We're all gonna die! Except every time, it's a bird. And I get why we have to check, but every time, the dispatcher is panicked and the person going out has to be like listen, listen: It's a bird. It's always a bird. It's been a bird every month for the last fifteen years. It will be a bird next month. All this stress? Bad for your heart.

Second Example: Sometimes, birds get in while we're actually working. And when it's in the morning, you know, it's a nuisance, and it stops testing (we are not going to risk irradiating a bird) but it's not an all-hands-on-deck situation because it doesn't take ten hours to get a bird out. But surprisingly often, the bird gets in riiiiight at closing time, and in that situation, everyone goes feral because nobody can leave until the alarm is set, and we cannot set the alarm while the bird is there, because the bird would immediately trigger it and then we'd have to stay another 4 hours to confirm that it was not a Soviet Bird.

So in order to go home, everyone's top priority is Get That Bird. And we have a system for it.

Step 1: The test stands tend to be located in rooms with 30+ foot ceilings. We can't catch birds in places like that - so we have to lure the bird into the relatively low ceilinged (8 feet only) upper offices.

We do this by turning all the lights off in the test rooms, then putting floodlights by the exits. I don't know why this works - some kind of evolutionary brain fragment shared by both Bugs and Birds - but work it does. The birds almost always follow after the lights. From there, it’s just two guys moving the floodlight and a third guy to turn off the lights.

Step 2: Everyone else has been waiting for this step. There is this long stairway up from the basement level into the offices, and in the final stage, the floodlights are brought to the base of the stairwell to bring the bird up. At the top of the steps there will be a group of tennish people, waiting for the signal. The light guys will set up the final transfer, everyone will tense, and then, swish...a bird will flit up the stairs and into the offices.

It's like watching werewolves on a full moon. Before the bird cometh, we are engineers. Nerds. Pale and skinny things, trembling under the fluorescent lights. After the bird, we are beasts. Feral, gnawing things, glowing under the orange sunrise of the 70's halogen floodlights.

And like all beasts, we cannot help but give chase.

Step 3: The were-engineers begin the hunt. The goal at the start is not really to catch the bird - just exhaust it. So the pack simply does not relent. Because the stakes are going home on time, the group is basically given free reign to go anywhere in the building. If someone's door is open, and the bird goes inside, they're going to have to deal with ten sweaty panting maniacs leaping around their office. They don't get to say that they're busy, or remark on how all this movement is a terrible distraction. They are allowed to sit in silence during the chaos, and perhaps thank the war party for chasing the bird while they sat comfortably on their ass. This has been explained several times, and it will continue to be explained until cooperation is achieved.

Anyway.

The chase can go on for quite some time. Sometimes, the bird will get tired and find a crevice to hide in, where it can then be reached through standard cornered-bird catching techniques.

Other times, it will slow down enough that someone can actually yoink it out of the air. But this will go on until someone catches the bird and triggers Step 4.

Step 4: The Finale. This is the get-the-bird-out-of-the-building stage, and it requires someone to adopt a specific role: To Become the Sacrificial Vessel of Bird Removal.

This job is both coveted and feared. It's coveted, because holding a wild bird in one's hands is a precious thing. To feel how small, and fragile, and scared it is, only to free it from the building? That is what it's like to be a benevolent God. But the cost! Oh, the cost. The entire time the Vessel is in motion, the bird will be biting the hell out of their fingers. And I cannot emphasize enough just how painful bird bites are. Their entire face is a set of needle posed pliers, and they know tricks the even the cartels haven't figured out yet. So there's always a little hubbub about who shall be The Vessel while onlookers, stranded outside The Office of Bird Capture, can only look on. Quiet arguments and pleas are heard, little fragments of fear and pride and glory trickling out of room like the silver dust left behind in a bag of well shook quarters. The sound of concensus is silence, and the argument will go on until that's all that's left. And then, from the darkness of the final office, the chosen sacrifice will step forward: Hands gently cupped, tears streaming down their face, fingers trembling from the pain of the ongoing bird chomps.

And this scene is what organizes people. Not leadership, not truly. No one can think and coordinate a crowd while their fingers are being attacked with a combination nutcracker/ear piercer. But the crowd sees the suffering of their annointed, and it is driven to do everything poossible to make the process flow. People instinctively flair out, finding the fastest path outside. Doors are held open. Paths are cleared. Someone, somehow, always knows the way forward and can describe it to the sufferer. Left, left, forward. Corner closet. Yep, there's a hall in there. Forward. Two-hundred more feet man, you're doing great. Just hold it together a little longer. You're killing it.

Then the final door swings open, and the bird flees out into what remains of daylight. And yet, even here, the deed is not yet done. I cannot explain it in words, but the crowd that helped is never content until they can see and speak on the Bird Vessel's wounds. They all have to pull the fingers back and see what was given. Estimate the price: One day to get better - No, three - No, a week! Are you blind? Do you see that blood blister? -Yeah, that's not going away anytime soon - Damn, can you believe how feisty those things are? Like wolves without teeth.

(They cannot help but touch as they go. It has always been this way. Even Thomas was not content until he felt the wounds in Christ's hands.)

Only when the last of the helpers has seen, and commented, and commended, will the engineers scatter. It is their return from the underworld that announces to the sun living surface dwellers that they too can go home. (@somerunner tolja it needed to be a post.)

[alfheimr]

(slight gore warn) uhhhh

[the-owl-tree]

The silverstream not fem enough post made me think of cunty nightcloud from the manga. Iconic

credit to rosyjulian_ on tiktok for the edit

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[perpetual-fng]

losing my mind rn

[maxcuntstappen]

Max Verstappen + the growing and the becoming, not because of, but despite

David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories / Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance / Tennessee Williams, Notebooks / @roach-works / Richard Siken, Crush

F1 Web Weaves

[cactuslester]

okay guys not to be insane, but i really do think there's a good chance that dnp might have no show on oct 19th bc they're going to when we were young in las vegas because look at this

on the left is their actual tour pathing; it's kinda weird to me that they're going from oakland (it's not marked on the map but it's between san francisco and san jose lol) southeast to phoenix, then back up northwest to la and san diego and then northeast to salt lake

but, what this pathing does allow them to do is stop in vegas on the 19th without making any kind of detour bc vegas is almost perfectly on the way from la to salt lake (the arrow in grey is their pathing if they weren't going to vegas)

on the right is a pathing through this part of the country that would make more sense to me (i kept the same dates though i know if they did this, they'd probably make the la and sd shows closer in date), but note that this would mean going from phoenix to salt lake instead of la to salt lake, which involves a much bigger detour if they wanted to stop by vegas on oct 19th

granted, this is complete conjecture because i've seen a lot of other dates that seem to have less than intuitive pathing, so this could just be a coincidence, but i'm just saying, dnp at wwwy on oct 19th doesnt sound too unbelievable to me because it would make their pathing make a lot more sense

[wszczebrzyszynie]

why did scar burn down the ranch in the space mining au? did he think jimmy had something to do with grian's disappearance?

In short: it was for revenge. He knew well Jimmy had nothing to do with anything that happened to Cub or Grian, but Tango did, and at that point in time Tango fully moved in with Jim. Scar just treated him like collateral damage. Cubs corruption (which was a consequence of both his and Tangos actions) happened at that time, and Grian disappeared (caught by Martyn) leaving Scar alone. And Scar doesnt really... handle being alone well

A very... long version is under the cut. And i do mean it, its long, but explains exactly why Scar burned down the ranch, with all the events leading up to it and with some Cub characterisation in it

Best way to start all of this is to say a bit about Cub in this au. Even though he and Scar arent related, theyre very... brotherly-like, as theyre both second generation vexes raised together. Except while Scar went into the very bootlicking job of official bounty hunting, Cub was always against everything govnerment related. Never an outright criminal, but always hanging out in these circles. He supported Scar to an extent while making sure Scar knows what he thinks about all of this. And also that, ultimately, he knows he can count on him if something goes wrong. Even if Cubs going to be annoying about it

Cub is smart. Cub has insane amounts of knowledge about an insane amounts of topics. So much so that he was able to (with help of Mumbo, i suppose) design a complete new type of mobility aid specifically made for Scars new crime job. He is also, to a fault, interested in space mining. Hes a bit younger than Tango, but was already an adult when sculk was discovered to be a dead, alien lifeform. And the thing about sculk is that its the most important discovery in modern human history that everyone wanted to know more about, Cub included. Its what truly started his... adventure, with space mining. Its what got him close to Tango in the first place

Cubs sculk corruption happened almost acidentially. Ive mentioned before that Jims ranch is on a planet in the middle of nowhere, which also happens to be a living sculk planet; sculk planets and moons arent common, but they exist (one of them being callisto) and are pretty well known, plus its possible to find sculk in smaller amounts on planets and asteroids that wouldnt be considered "sculk planets" (as in, sculk isnt the main thing to be found there). Living sculk planets on the other hand are so rare that theyre more of a theory than a real thing, at least at first*. While sculk found in most places is long dead, Jimmy, with correct tools, could have access to its living form. And this is how Tango gets a sculk sample as a gift for Cub; so small it fit in his pocket. So that Cub could continue his research on his own, without having to spend ungodly amounts of money. And Cub does so, and experiments with it, and reanimates it, leading to his infection. And, unlike what Tango experienced at callisto before it got blown up and Tango became a wanted terrorist, it actually felt good for him. Being a vex comes with so many health complications that having a parasite (especially one Cubs been fascinated about for so long) that completly dulls it is something he was okay with. Neither Scar or Tango agreed with him here, Tango knowing everything sculk does first hand, and both of them made the decision to save Cubs life, whether he likes it or not (Cub didnt exactly... believe that sculk could kill him). Sculk is sensitive to sound and light, thriving in dark, wet and quiet environments, and its extreme sensitivity to sound is what Tango learned while helping Zed. The exact logistics of it and timeline of events are not set yet (rip) but what matters is that Tango and Scar succeed, saving Cub, who goes unconcious for a while

Now that the backstory is over, the reason Scar burned the ranch down is because not only Tango got Cub infected in the first place, but also because he... broke Cub, in Scars eyes. Cub cannot forgive Tango for saving him because he doesnt believe he needed to he saved. He thinks that Tango acted out of self righteousness, setting back his research (needless to say Cub didnt exactly think straight while corrupted and after the coma, kind of like with his original sculk corruption durning the crossover). He holds similar feelings towards Scar; more complicated, sure, because he loves Scar, but he also believes that Scar hurt him and tore out something he needed to really feel alive. Scar cannot forgive him specifically because the corruption changed Cub and his relationship with him, and the fact that Grian, a vital part of Scars already small close support system, wasnt around, it made Scar act rasher and with more hate than he would normally. He didnt go there to burn it, exactly, as probably simple murder was on his mind, but he activated one of Tangos paranoia-filled security measures (...traps), one thing led to another, an explosion happened, and scar decided to burn it all to the ground. Like a normal person

For more info as to why Tango was living with Jimmy at that time, im sure i mentioned it somewhere here? Ill just add that to protect both of them and their home Tango trapped it. And like most of his traps, they backfired.

Put some old art here to better demonstrate what im talking about

* the funny thing about Jimmy here is that he tends to find sculk... a lot. The reason he had to move from one place to another time and time again is that all the mining sites he used to work on got either closed down or fired people en masse because of sculk; while mining sculk is extremely profitable, its also hard and requires a lot of special machinery, including mechs, which wouldnt be used for things like coal. And when he got divorced and stopped being a miner, he moves to a planet, breaks his helmet in an accident believing he would die, only to realise that the planet had breathable air all along because of sculk under the surface. This is the closest space mining gets to the canary curse because i dont really like the curse as it is now, but its so heavily mining related i had to tie it somehow in a way that would satisfy me. Very offtopic but i think i should mention it

[aknosom]

like why was he wearing that

[ganondoodle]

okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"

and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)

whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character

if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me

i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal

and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid

i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him

i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really

(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)

[divorcedfiddleford]

it is friday my dudes (little hearts added by @tazmiilly)

[nintendont2502]

btw i will forever recommend just. refusing to engage in discourse. its free its easy and you literally arent missing anything LMAO - 99% of discourse on here is just on the most pointless petty shit that literally doesnt mean a single thing to anyone in real life (i am looking directly at you "pRo/AnTi" shippers), and the other 1% is genuinely important shit... that isnt going to be solved in any productive way by insulting '''the other side''' online. arguing with strangers online never changes anyones mind all youre doing is making yourself *and* your cause look annoying as hell :thumbsup: maybe chill out. find a hobby.

[nerdicorntheshipper]

[lunarharp]

revamped looong mermaid orufrey au :')

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I have the smallest crumb of a theory. But what if howdy is mean to Latter because he’s self-conscious of being the only caterpillar (and repressed) and takes it out on his brother as a consequence. Because social expectations at the time gave him an excuse to do so?

no. ok. hoo boy. Allow Me To Be Insane Over The Most Prominent Thought I've Had Since Seeing The Update (about howdy)

i will try to be as eloquent and articulate as possible. ahem:

THAT FRUITY ASS CATERPILLAR IS REPRESSED AS FUCK, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT?? MY GOD. HOMEBOY HAS ISSUES STACKED ON ISSUES. GET HIM SOME THERAPY.

ok. ok ok ok. Now allow me to be articulate and eloquent

so obviously Howdy is almost certainly queer in the men-loving flavor. if i'm wrong about this my confidence will never recover. But I'm Willing To Take That Chance. so he's definitely queer, right? his.. well his everything points to it, but the final nail in the coffin are his rainbow suspenders from the group Homewarming artwork from Eddie's prolonged breakdown.

but this update i think showed us deeper into that part of him. and i take the shipping goggles off for genuine analysis, so when i say this i believe that there is Serious Evidence and seems Genuinely Plausible - if Howdy doesn't have feelings for Barnaby, i'll eat my cat.

the above is important to say because it Directly ties in to how Howdy treats Latter AND Eddie.

so. Howdy is likely gay or bi, what have you. i'm guessing gay. he obviously has feelings for Barnaby. SO WHAT I'M SAYING IS that i don't think Howdy treats Latter the way he does because of the caterpillar thing, I think Howdy treats Latter the way he does because Latter is genuine and Howdy is not.

what does this have to do with Eddie? well. look at Latter and Eddie in relation to each other. they're both... how do i say... Open. and not - not effeminate, but yes, for lack of of a better word, effeminate. just enough to make one go "huh." and Howdy treats them the same way - dismissive, apathetic, one could even say avoidant.

i wouldn't be shocked if Howdy picked up on their queerness (and if Latter isn't queer, his comfort with himself / his behavior & interests) and is on the defensive about it - likely subconsciously.

and with Latter specifically. Howdy could have also picked up on the way his other family members treat him if they're all also dismissive - as Seeya seems to be as well. i mean, it fits right in line with the time period! homophobia - internalized in Howdy's case (again, most likely). the blatant favoritism, the dismissive nature, it all adds up. even if no one outright knows, that subconscious recognition (or outright suspicion!) will do this

i mean, Latter makes me think of two things. 1) being the only queer kid in a family (especially large). 2) being a middle child. there was a third but i forgor. it felt important! it's gone now! anyway it's also Super telling comparing how Howdy treats Latter (emotional, earnest, open) to how he treats Beeya (oozing stereotypical masculinity)

tl;dr so i don't think it's really "expectations giving Howdy an excuse" as it is "subconscious / internalized homophobia causes Howdy to act the way he does"

as always, take all this with a Hefty grain of salt!