#dont get me wrong i genuinely like doing this
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am i being stupid by refusing to invest any of my money? i just don’t find it ethical (lots of people have 0 idea what theyre actually invested in with typical low risk investments and it would actually drive me nuts to have to investigate every single thing thats on there) and i also have zero faith in the stability of the economy or the world i just literally don’t trust like that. and fear that with climate change i’m not going to have a traditional future or retirement anyway. is this incredibly stupid i’m being so genuine because i dont know
I think your ethical concerns are totally reasonable. Any investment in the stock market is pretty inherently fraught, even if you choose index funds that exclude the especially bad stocks of like firearms/military contractors/etc. Even something like a bond can be easily said to be bad, because it's a loan to the government, and most money market or high yield savings are not untainted either, because most banks themselves invest in fucked up shit like oil pipelines. The one avenue I think that would be mostly okay is a high yield savings account for a credit union, or a bank that you've researched and know doesn't invest in that kind of shady shit. I have also argued previously that it's not wrong to invest in an apartment or house -- as long as you're not landlording, vulnerable people having more secure housing and the ability to share that housing with others in their community is good and understandable. So on balance, I get where you are coming from, though I think having a financial safety net makes people less likely to have to take on unethical jobs and makes them less vulnerable to financial abuse and exploitation, which has merit ethically.
I tend to see the doomerism question a bit differently. If the US empire falls or the economy collapses, you'll either have much bigger problems than your 401k bottoming out (problems like the complete obliteration of the supply chain), OR we will be living in a financial paradigm so dramatically different and more just that you wont MIND that you dont have that money anymore. Whereas if the US economy continues to exist, you're gonna be fucked if you dont have a retirement to fall back on, so why make yourself needlessly more vulnerable by not saving? The ethical rub with this, though, is that it creates the moral hazard of rooting for the US empire and economy to never fall, and that rendering you more conservative... which is a possibility, but like, as i said, i think it's possible to have some money saved for a rainy day under capitalism while still praying for capitalism's downfall. if anything, being more financially independent makes it EASIER for me to risk unemployment & etc by doing more radical political actions and speaking my mind and saying no to things. but ymmv
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<- he has realized that he hasn’t been reblogging anything from the bendy and the ink machine tag for the last 3 months
i’ve been scrolling down for nearly an hour and i still didn’t get to where i left off... SCROLLING. MOVING THE PAGE AT A FAST SPEED. it’s gonna. it’s gonna take a while for me to reblog everything i missed.
oh dear
#um warning to the new followers that came here during my inactivity i guess#i go on Wil reblogging sprees so#brace yourself for a lot of bendy content on your dash lmao#its also gonna take a long time because im silly goofy and i like to write my thoughts about everything i see#so thats gonna be fun#dont get me wrong i genuinely like doing this#i was hoping i could start a bit before going to sleep but thats. not happening. i didnt reach where i left off#and i need to go to sleep#TToTT#they wasnt lying that dark can revival#halfpost
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Made some core blinkies!!!
update, I made glados and aegis ones here :3
#these are free to use without credit :3 but if u do use them that would be super cool#i tried making Splatoon blinkies but i did the blinking differently I dont like them as much </3#unrelated but i need to update my introduction post#ill probably add these to it bc blinkies are fun i just never use them bc the ones i find never have artist credit :(#i think it would be fun to make a ych com of this but it takes me like 2 minutes so like if i did it would probably be around a dollar#^ maybe?#oh rejoice i get to add so many character tags#wheatley#space core#adventure core#fact core#nigel aperture tag#heavy metal core aperture tag#stirling portal revolution#emilia portal revolution#Virgil portal#Rainbow core portal#portal#portal 2#most character tags ive ever gotten to add oh my god#blinkies#<- almost forgot that tag#some pixels on rainbow cores is flashing wrong between frames but i genuinely can't fix it sorry </3
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I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.
#im making a fanfic of two and a half halos and the mc is Emily and it focuses alot on her and sera's dynamic#ill probablg send it here when im done. in 100 years because i havent finished a fic in 20 centuries#hazbin hotel sera#seraphim#hazbin sera#emily hazbin hotel#hazbin emily#hazbin hotel emily#emily seraphim#hazbin hotel#PLEASE DONT MENTION HAND PLACEMENF PLEASE /S#I WAS DRAWINF THIS AT 3 AM AND I KEPT BLACKINF OUT BUT I KNEW ID LOSE MOTIVATION IF I DIDNT FINISH#I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL I WAS DONE SO PLS JST- IDK. JST LOOK AT MY BABIES#i headcanon Sera as trans. for pride month i have the idea of putting every ship and character under their pride flags#sooo sera is gonna be covered with a trans flag and emily... also trans becauze everyone is trans becauze o said so#charlie is ALSO trans because i said so#i came up wit trans sera on my own(idk if it existed be4 but i jst thot of it and got all happy cuz she is so trans idc) but#i freaking love trans emoly and trans charlie so for a bit i felt wrong for hc so many characters as trans#rhen i woke up one day and was loke. yeah idgaf they all trans cuz theres not enoigh#like im not gonna ALAAYS depict them as trans except sera(she is 100% trans to me) i like the other hcs for fun. im so srs for sera i 💜 her#sera just wants to hug her huggable sister sometimes and thats ok! 💜💜#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#*in stupid egg boy voice* i wish Sera would hold ME in her arms... 😔#gave them snouts because i cannot deal with the no noses. it genuinely disturbs me. have yall SEEN velvettes side profile omfg 😨#my babies... i just want them to be happy. why must there be sibling angst... they jst want to do whats right ☹️#im gonna fight to protect Sera from spme of yall fr fr cuz she do not deserve to be SO hated. JST. JST GET TO KNO HER I SWEAR SHE COOL#like i get it. what she doin is wrong. but if you was in her shoes you know you would do the same dont even lieeee 😨
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watched mouthwashing finally. the fact that i saw people be more aggressive towards curly than jimmy is kinda strange. kinda real weird
#mouthwashing#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing#i saw people draw fanart of anya. pouring mouthwash on his exposed flesh? as punishment for failing her?#which okay. 1. i dont think shed like that. 2. are we seriously blaming curly for this more than. jimmy. the guy who DID IT?#like okay do not get me wrong. curly is to blame. he made terrible mistakes he did horrible things his inaction is inexcusable#he should have handled the situation better. if he couldnt 'take care' of jimmy (likely) he should have just at least#been there for anya. supported her and comforted her more than he did#im not saying any of it is untrue#hell the aus i saw where anya is angry with curly? where post-recovery shes genuinely mad and to a degree disgusted with him?#great! real! very reasonable! it makes sense it works its everything#but like. some of the people i saw were being straight up vile. for zero reason#'yeah curly deserves to be tortured and like skinned more by anya for closure because of what he did' HAVE WE FORGOTTEN WHO DID IT#WHY IS JIMMY GETTING LEFT OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION. ARE WE FORGETTING WHOS THE LITERAL ASSAULTER?#one of those people also said that if you ship anya and curly you should kys so uhhh not really taking that opinion seriously but. jeez#i dont ship them either for the record i just think telling people to die over it is a little excessive. thats the whole thing really#theyre being really excessive#on a similiar note i saw people say 'nobody on the ship is black and white in morality' and i agree with that about everyone BUT jimmy#for one simple reason. there is never ever a reason to rape someone. not EVER. everyone else has reasons. is complicated#and while jimmy is complicated too obviously that doesnt. like undeniably hes the worst. he is the worst because what he did is just#one of the only crimes that never ever has an explaination that means anything. its always evil
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truly i love all of you and i'm so grateful for all the support i get on my vanilla milkshake posts here because i've just seen the way people talk about vanilla milkshake and mysticao on twitter and its genuinely taken 50 years off my life. now i've been reminded as to why i should never join the crk fandom on twitter
#its not even just twitter but the comments i get on tiktok all the time make me want to blow myself up genuinely#on twitter i just saw a thread about mysticao going like Oh durr how can u ship it after reading ep 4#and then proceeds to post a reply saying “enemies to lovers is really good if its done well!! but theyre just torturing each other here” ??#so you dont like enemies to lovers then . what do you think enemies to lovers means ??? they just argue sometimes? lol#also wdym “if its done well” we haven't gotten the full lore of the beasts#and its implied that they only turned this way because they were wronged somehow#that + the amount of power and responsibility that having the full soul jam put on them it was literally a recipe for corruption#its not even as if dark cacao thinks mystic flour was just evil to be evil he literally CALLS HER OUT on being insecure#she wanted to create a world without individuality and without personal interests that could lead to harm of others#which i think is heavily tied to her backstory we havent seen yet#imo. this would in fact be enemies to lovers done well#i dont even ship them btw. but i feel obligated to defend it since i just hate ppl who take this stuff at face value#its such a shame that twitter people have the literacy skills of a 1st grader because i would love to post my crk art on there#and make some friends#but if ppl would be like Erm you cant ship shadowvanilla its hashtag toxic and a red flag!!#then like oookay lol whatever man#sorry for the yappathon#txt#not art#discourse
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This one is in response to @fizzytastic asking
"I would LOVE to know what you mean regarding the light novels."
Dazai in the light novels has been down BAD since the day he met Chuuya.
I know the whole "must be because I love you" can be viewed as a joke but my man actually "whispered with a look of regret" at being shot down.
He also proceeded to cheat during the game by tampering with the machine to ensure Chuuya would lose the bet and become his dog. He was also stated as being in awe of Chuuya's fighting ability, repeatedly refering to him as "incredible". Dazai also flat out admits to wanting to try out living because "Chuuya convinced" him.
He is even described as having forgotten how to breathe watching Chuuya fight.
Moving on to the events of Stormbringer, Dazai spends too long exposing his obsession with Chuuya, telling the big bad that he spends all his "days and nights thinking about ways to annoy Chuuya".
He further proceeds to insist that Chuuya is human because of how strongly he hates Chuuya and due to a specific word it can be viewed as him saying Chuuya would hate him less if he wasnt human as was stated in the stage play of the same.
Furthermore at the end of Stormbringer he offers to come up with a new plan to give Chuuya an out if he needs one when he has to use corruption as a last resort. And he fully intends on coming up with a new plan within 2 minutes.
In general Dazai does a lot of staring at Chuuya throughout the light novels. On a lighter note Dazai jokes about wanting Chuuya as his personal maid at one point and demands that Chuuya let Dazai look inside his head and know everything there is to know about him.
But then we move onto the dragon head conflict as mentioned in Dead Apple where after making light of an executive's death and getting punched in the face by Chuuya, Dazai is so shaken up by Chuuya implying he's inhuman, he actually pulls strings to try and bring the conflict to an end. He also stops corruption by touching his cheek and pulls Chuuya's head into his lap while he is unconscious after his fight with Shibusawa. The following is from the manga.
Now everyone knows about the whole Snow White and Prince reference but in the light novel its clarified that Chuuya's ability was not affected by the fog and Dazai knew this but he still forces his head down. Even more telling is that Dazai cradles Chuuya's face for no real reason because Corruption had already been nullified when Chuuya made skin to skin contact when punching him in the face.
And of course that was how their expressions are drawn in the manga panel
Then we move to the present day and you have Dazai saying this to Sigma about Chuuya
But then his comment about Gide has him claim the exact same behaviour is romantic in his messed up troll brain
Basically Dazai has a history of staring at Chuuya in awe since 15, "jokingly" confessed at 15 and then got somewhat upset about the rejection, cheated to be able to keep Chuuya as his, repeatedly makes remarks that imply he is vaguely obsessed with him at 16, tends to let Chuuya rest his head in his lap post corruption, has nullified him twice that we have seen by touching his cheek (as per the movie and once as per the ln). Is actively affected by how Chuuya views him (which was shocking to me).
Aside from that he has also talked about Chuuya to the ADA off screen because Yosano knew about Chuuya and his ability (though this could just be a random update about the membera of the mafia to watch out for during meetings) and I heard he talked about Chuuya to Oda in The Day I Picked Up Dazai ln.
This is not counting any of the seriously insane amount of wan content because I dont view it as canon or atleast entirely canon but there Dazai admits to keeping 27 journals detailing things about Chuuya and its an exaggeration of the canon fact that Dazai prides himself in being a Chuuya Nakahara Encyclopedia. It also plays with how close they both actually are with several character refering to them as besties, Chuuya being forced to admit he doesnt actually hate Dazai.
(Oh and this is not even considering just how much Dazai touches Chuuya, like in the manga there is a part where Dazai keeps tugging at Chuuya's hair and refusing to let go while complaining about how much he doesnt want to touch him. Just let go dude...)
So yea, I would not be surprised if Dazai has his vows prepared by the time the last pre defection ln drops. Ofcourse this is mostly a lighthearted joke about Dazai being down bad but in all seriousness, Dazai genuinely cared about and still cares about Chuuya and its made extremely obvious throughout the novels. Its actually worth noting that it was actually Chuuya who seemed to be more vitriolic towards him until the end of Stormbringer where Dazai actually gives Chuuya a choice and shows open concern for Chuuya's needs. Hell Dazai was also the one insisting on Chuuya's autonomy, while he keeps insisting Chuuya is his dog, he hates the idea of people using him like a tool, its why he always gives Chuuya a choice. Chuuya always actively chooses to go rescue Dazai in Dazai's plans of getting kidnapped. Chuuya can always go, "nah, I dont wanna use corruption" but he doesnt because he knows since the events of stormbringer that Dazai will always give him a choice even if corruption seems like a last resort.
Chuuya has good reason for trusting Dazai. Its cause Dazai has in fact proven to him that he can trust him. Its why he went in to fight a dragon despite being told Dazai was possibly already dead.
(And yea I know the current arc would have people go "lol he tried to drown Chuuya, he clearly doesnt care" and you know what? That's so dumb. Dazai tried to drown Chuuya, yes. But we dont actually know what is happening with this arc rn and what he is doing or if Chuuya is in any way involved in whatever he is doing. Dazai said all those things and there was no need for him to say that but the fact that he even remembered several moments they shared, yea no, he was clearly affected by it. Maybe I am wrong and Asagiri decided to yeet out all of Dazai's characterization we saw with his behaviour towards Chuuya in 2 entire novels of his past but IDK I think I'm gonna wait till this arc ends and everything unfolds before making a conclusion about how Dazai is such an asshole he tried to drown his partner.)
Seriously, vows are like the least they could do at this point.
#soukoku#ah my ramblings#i just really really love the light novels#i am mostly joking about the romance of it all#mostly#but Dazai cares about Chuuya and idk I think this is such an important aspect of Dazai's character#like even if you dont lile the ship its really not fair to ignore how much Dazai genuinely cared for Chuuya#not because it supports the ship but because it shows that Dazai despite his claims of being a monster was ridiculously human#he saw this boy he was fasicnated by and he said- I need to keep him as my friend#and proceeded to do it in the most unsocialized troll brained clown way#i love this boy so much#someone hug him please#dont get me wrong I dont think dazai and chuuya's relationship was super healthy but it wasnt as toxic as people make it seem either#yes Dazai desperately needed Oda and Ango but Chuuya was also and is still an important part of his life#long post#i am not going back to chexk for writing errors. I'm sleepy.
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not enough people talk about "dont turn the lights off" ngl. this song + the daycare theme song have been ON LOOP for me. on loop while i draw. on loop while i do chores and cook. on loop while i work. on loop if i need to concentrate on something- no ANYTHING. it's such a comfort to me. this song has a DEATH GRIP on me. WHIMSY UNMATCHED. you don't understand how much this song fuels me to keep creating DCA content for myself ohhh my god.
"lights on" doesn't even compare for me (WHICH OFC i like the song + with the recent release of "best friend" im still giddy)
which, i feel the need to add, this song is pivotal for my motivation to write EBY (wip dca fic im working on rn). like idk i feel invincible when this song plays ig lmao.
#pingyappathon#i eat sleep and breathe DCA rn#i just want someone to get me like srsly understand how deep this hyperfixation is and how important DCA is to me#i need to sing the lyrics at the top of my lungs#it's just THAT good u dont understand#or maybe you do#do you?#please tell me you do cause im GONNA LOSE IT. its so lonely out here#shaking yall rn cause am i missing something like did i miss the excitement that came and went??#i just dont understand why it's not talked about as much cuz i genuinely think it's a BANGER? pls guys its soooo good!!#like the happiness i get from listening to it and the stims are unrivaled my goshgaj#literally its been in my spotify rotation for about 3 months straight :sob:#unless if im totally wrong and we're silently appreciating this masterpiece because guys I NEED TO YAP AB IT. LOUDLY. OBNOXIOUSLY.#ive wanted to make an animatic with it for SOOOO long too AGH#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf sb#Spotify#that or play it on my uke one of these days even if my singing isn't that great (im havin fun lol)
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need to be so clear this is not a joke this is not sarcasm blah blah blah NO. i really dont give a fuck is qinwen actually is unpleasant or unlikable in the locker room. we get constant "access" to these people, where they are expected to be more than just tennis players but must also be public personalities, role models, marketing angels..........like i really dont give a fuck if a player decides they dont want to constantly have to cater to other people......the people in the locker room are literally your competition there isnt anything in the job description of "tennis player" that says you have to be nice to them.
#like. is it fun when players do get along? absolutely!#but im not going to sit here and expect them to always be nice and friendly and welcoming. like come on#its a competitive sport! its not always nice and friendly and welcoming!#i guess i just think its maybe a bit dangerous to say 'oh well obviously these players have it wrong and qinwen is just focused on herself'#because if it turns out that she genuinely isnt friendly in the locker room then you have to reconcile that with the previous narrative#does that make sense?#idk if it does. but my point is i really dont care if she's unfriendly#crazy thing to me as well is like. if i sense that someone doesnt like me or that we arent getting along. i just tend to ignore them!#like ok you sit in that corner and i'll sit in this one and we can co-exist doing our own thing without getting into conflict#and it really is quite easy to do this! shocker! you dont have to rise to every person you dont like!#anyways. lol
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🍷<3
#when i got hashtag sick i was in hospital and i was doing my regularly scheduled call with my dad#and i really had no plans of telling him bc ive done that before and its not like he can scare the MS away or anything#i dont know what happened. maybe because it was such a fucking bad episode. maybe because i was so tired. maybe it was a secret 3rd thing#but one minute was like fine then i just burst into tears and i was crying so hard which is MEGA EW BC IM NOT A CRIER LIKE THAT#and my dad freaked out and he was like whats wrong and i didnt wanna tell him but I also sounded insane bc i spontaneously started sobbing#and he was getting more alarmed and i was upset that id upset him and so i just spat it out i was like 'listen king'#'its no biggie but my body is trying to kill me again and im just a little sad atm' and he replied 'baba why wouldnt you tell me?'#and this man who has a very big serious job literally dropped everything and took a 20 hr flight over#and he genuinely just grabbed one of his work suitcase because he showed up with nothing but dress shirts and his laptop#and i think maybe it healed me a little. i mean it def also made me sad too but mostly healed me#and he'd been here for a couple of weeks and he left today and i feel shit about being sad about it#again because he has a very big and very serious job and i genuinely dont understand how he even just showed up like that#so I felt guilty throughout#anyway i dont think he drinks anymore but i was like king have a sip of wine with me and he did and it was lovely#and I hope I become my fathers daughter and not my mother's child. praying to both our gods#heres to healing ❤️🩹
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feeling kind of stressed like i'm running out of time to draw solas
#i dont have any dav art planned bc like#i'm not actually sold on buying the game yet yall#i am in fact biow@res biggest hater#i can feel the clock ticking#like not being hyperbolic when i say i genuinely do not need or want more death of beloved characters in my fictional escape fantasy game#like idk i'll take it all back if i'm wrong but#big L to weekes if the best ending they could come up with was death for redemption#and if i'm wrong and solas does get a good satisfying conclusion i will get a solas related tattoo#bc i've never felt this insane#to put this into some perspective for those who dont know my lore#i've worked in healthcare/medicine for the last 8+ years#i've helped save people's literal lives. watched patients die. etc all the worst stuff you could imagine and more#and this fucking game has me feeling that awful clammy palm anxiety i usually only get when a patient gets violent#im also burnt out as hell and quit so i could start a different career! but!#:)
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do you think god stays in heaven, because he too hates the bnha manga's ending?
#bnha#boku no hero academia#boku no hero academia ending#my hero academia#mha#the more i think about the more i hate the ending#and the more it does NOT make sense to me#like horikoshi if you were gonna have izuku lose ofa after giving it to tomura... maybe dont let him get it back after giving it to bakugou?#like#why didnt ofa just decide to go back to izuku?#they did that before#ugh#im so mentally ill about izuku and his dreams i cant do this#and why couldnt he be a quirkless hero??#the original plot??#snipes quirk is that he aim good#this may be american of me to say#but just get that boy an ak47 and some training and he'll be just fine#genuinely do not understand why he cant be a quirkless hero#DONT get me wrong imm 10000% on team midoriya should have kept ofa#but either way#he should have been able to be a hero from the second he graduated#fuck#vent post#vent#i guess??? im so upset about the ending#i dont understand what kind of message its supposed to send :/#and pretty much every hero-side person gets a nice ending OTHER than the character who is the core of my heroaca special interest#it kills me
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you know as a neurodivergent person I only have two fucking requests of anyone I consider a friend: 1) do not cold shoulder or get aggressively angry with me for something you didn't bother to communicate you had a problem with and 2) do not fucking infantalize me and treat me like a naive fragile broken child who is a burden on everyone in my life. shouldn't be too hard right??? insane how many neurotypicals are fucking incapable of doing the bare fucking minimum
#literally the only prerequisites i have for someone to be my friend#like if I love you legitimately everything else is a non issue. it doesn't even occur to me to get mad#and it's not even in a “sigh i will look past this for you” way. genuinely there's very little you can do to bother me if you're my friend#ill just assume you had good intentions#because i trust that you wouldn't intentionally hurt me if you're my friend so getting angry is pointless#but i genuinely don't know how to handle it when people i care about get mad at me. it scares the shit out of me#ugh i can't explain what i mean#but god some people really just don't give a shit once they dont need me anymore huh#it's the way they go out of their way to make me feel like a helpless 13 year old who can't do anything right again#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com#i swear if you manage to lose ME as a friend 9 times out of 10 there's smth seriously wrong with you#because i virtually have no standards and will put up with everything#and am the person who cares too much in almost every relationship in my life
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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tbh it's annoying when people perceive the "i cant make a decision about where to eat, you decide!" thing as being indecisive and/or noncommittal when in fact it's almost always the person being considerate of your wants over their own and/or also the person having such bad anxiety that they're worried if they tell you what they actually want, you'll be disappointed in what they chose and thus won't enjoy it.
#and conversely oftentimes the person asking can be one of two things#the first is that they genuinely don't care so they want you to choose#OR they're in a similar boat and don't want to make you do something you won't enjoy which is why they keep asking#tangibly related but i one time had an ex who said i was manipulative because i asked them 'hey do you want to get pizza?' and they were#like wtf is wrong with you if you want pizza just say so and dont manipulate me. and i was like. what. whats wrong with you.#im not the weird one here
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i've been thinking a lot about the word "representation" and what it means and how it's changed over the last few years, particularly when it comes to the writing/publishing landscape but also in movies and tv shows… and i really don't like it anymore. to be clear, of course i think it's important to have diversity in your work, i'm not saying i hate the concept of representation. but i do really dislike the way it's used now, and i really just hate the word itself
in a broader sense it's just become a marketing tool. i'm not impressed by any publisher or author who just describes their book by listing all of the minorities/identities the characters represent as if that should be enough. it feels very gross, very exploitative and disingenuous. it also really bothers me because it's always marginalized identities- which i understand Why, but it feels very othering to me (and again. Very exploitative as an advertisement). you would never list out "cishet able-bodied white man" as a character description to pat yourself on the back over. so why do it to everyone else? why insinuate that one is the "default" and the other one is "special"? (and when i say this i'm mainly talking about advertisements/marketing. i understand why people would specify about characters in descriptions with the plot, but i don't like to see an ad that's just "this book has gay people!" with nothing else)
which then leads me to my other point, which is that a lot of people treat "representation" as if it's "too hard." like "oh i don't know enough to write about that, i don't have that experience, etc" which is a fair way to feel! however… it's weird that people only say this about writing trans characters or characters of color. i'm writing a story right now with a character who is really into motorcycles. i personally do not know that much about motorcycles, so i researched what parts are what & what different kinds of models there are & what basic bike care looks like. i guarantee Most people will have to google something at some point in their writing process. so what's the problem? it also, again, feels very othering when authors treat certain groups of people as "impossible" to write, "too hard" to understand. they are just.. people. you write them as a person. and then you figure out the rest later.
and i think part of the refusal or fear to write something outside of your experience is because of the way representation is treated as So Special. these characters are So Special that they aren't allowed to be anything other than "representation." they're Not allowed to be characters with complex emotions and interesting motivations, they have to just be Trans or Gay or Disabled or whatever. they're not allowed to be people. which means, at the end of the day, we loop right back around to where we were at the start….
there is bad representation. there are depictions of certain marginalized people that are harmful and that are damaging, i'm not trying to minimize that or argue against it at all, in fact we should all be mindful of that while writing and reading. but i also think it's possible to swing too far in the opposite direction as well and put certain groups of people on a pedestal and not allow them to do anything at all but be Perfect Representation, if that makes sense.
#anyways. is this anything#sorry i dont have anything insightful to say at the end here i just wanted to ramble#especially abt the way ppl market books now it like. genuinely disgusts me#cannot imagine marketing tnp in that way. my characters are many things AND they are trans. and their transness#is not just a flashy feature for attracting attention#also i do understand the fear of 'getting it wrong' but that's why you have beta readers or even actual sensitivity readers#that's why you ask for feedback. especially in this space like... people will give it#that's what makes sharing your process and early draft in this community so rewarding#and there's also just the reality that no matter what you do some people will Not like it 🤷#and ime a lot of ppl look at representation very individualistically#as in it's only good representation if it represents Me#which sucks. and you're never going to please those people#ANYWAYS also to be clear this is not a vague or meant to be targeted at any one person please don't be fucking weird#this is just some thots i've had recently esp since ive seen the representation conversation pop up quite a few times#and since i've been doing research for characters in my other project#personal
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