#dont feel obligated to read this

[stil-lindigo]

floor _

a short comic about struggling to find yourself.

[jununy]

♔ COMMISSIONS » jununyarts@gmail.com

Fullbody: $75

Waist-up: $50

All prices in USD! Extra characters, complex characters (armor etc), and D&D groups special pricing can be negotiated.

[deepwaterwritingprompts]

Text: In the Upper City, they do illicit trade of cyborg servants over the legal human percentage limit. I steal them, which is to say I save them, whether they want to be saved or not.

[98chao]

truly i love all of you and i'm so grateful for all the support i get on my vanilla milkshake posts here because i've just seen the way people talk about vanilla milkshake and mysticao on twitter and its genuinely taken 50 years off my life. now i've been reminded as to why i should never join the crk fandom on twitter

[bacchuschucklefuck]

[thattouceyboy]

This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do for my pride, and I know that it is a long shot. I am taking the biggest shot in the dark that I have ever done, and I hopefully will never again in my life need to do this.

My name is Severin. I am going to be homeless soon if I cannot find some way to gain money, and I am making this post to beg on my hands and knees to find help.

You can message me for the links to help, as I have no follower base and I'm afraid this post will disappear entirely if I try to out in a link or tag it in any way. If you'd like a tarot reading, I can do those. If you'd like a piece of writing, I can do that. I'll edit your school paper. You do not need to send me anything for nothing, if you want something in return I will do what I can. But I need help. What I need in the long run is $2,550— what I am asking for is $500, even $100 cumulatively from anyone, anywhere around this site who has anything to spare.

I know this is a long shot. I know this is the site of disabled queer folk who have nothing for themselves. But I am hoping against hope that if I swallow my pride and put this out there, I will be able to scrape by without ending up homeless.

Please reblog if you can... I know most of us don't have money. I'm just trying to not be out in the literal cold for a Canadian December.

[moeblob]

Lil warm up doodle because I'd been playing some Thropes and then watched some dubbed DunMeshi and am a Damien Haas enjoyer so. Enjoy a Shez.

[pinkeoni]

During his emotionally charged speech in the van, Will says one particularly potent line.

"When you're different... You feel like... a mistake."

This line is highlighted visually by the camera shifting positions to outside of the van, a shot that is only used one other time to punctuate the end of the scene. This line holds extra weight and the show wants you to know it.

I already made an analysis on the word mistake and what that means for Will, but I want to look at the word different, which feels emphasized in the delivery of the line as well.

"When you're [pause for effect] different..."

It's popular headcanon among st fandom that "everyone in Hawkins is gay!" which sometimes bleeds from into their belief of real canon. Sexuality headcanon lists suddenly are seen with an air of truth to them, and a number of fanon queer ships are accompanied with evidence of their supposed endgame status.

I realize that this is kind of a... weird post to make. I'm not really making this to tell people to stop doing something, this is more of just a rattling off of some opinions I've had for awhile.

I do wanna start off with the obligatory: Do whatever the hell you want. I'm not here to stop you from doing something or tell you that you are wrong for thinking that a character is gay or for shipping something. You are allowed to ship whoever you want, think whatever you want about any character, any ship I don't like I have filtered. But I'm also allowed to not like these ships, or disagree with how others view certain characters. Just as others are allowed to have and express their opinion, I'm also allowed to have and state my opinions on the opinion website.

I think the important thing regarding Will being different is the fact that he is different. As my good friend @karenchildress once put it, if everyone were queer, it would cheapen the message the show is trying to give. Sure, the show displays a variety of ways of being different, but being gay is, among other things Will has been through re: being taken into the Upside Down, is Will's way of being different in Hawkins.

And of course Robin is gay as well, and while there is some crossover, the lived experiences of a gay man is different from that of a lesbian woman, which the show does touch on. Will's story is part of an extended AIDS metaphor, and Robin struggles to gain the attention of women in a world that seems to revolve around the attention of men.

It might be nice to have a moment between Will and Robin, although that alone won't solve Will's problem, i.e. his belief that being different makes him a mistake. Cause that's the thing: the resolution is that being different is a good thing.

If everyone character were queer, this would cheapen the message. Suddenly the resolution isn't that being different is a good thing, but that he isn't different after all.

So then, are queer stories meant to have only token characters?

I think it depends on the type of story, and what it's trying to say. Heartstopper has an eclectic queer cast, but it's also a show that embraces finding community and other people like you. Sex Education has a variety of different sexual identities, but it's also a show that aims to explore a lot of different perspectives.

And there are also queer stories where the queer character's disposition, and their struggle because of that, is a big part of the story. I believe this is what this show is trying to do— highlight Will's difference and how that pertains to his personal struggle and the resolution of that.

One argument that I hear against Will with powers is the idea that making him more different would be bad for his character, because he hates being different. But the thing is, Will is going to learn that his differences are a good thing, which may include any possible powers.

Of course Will isn't the only one with powers, and he also isn't the only gay one. El, Henry, and Kali all have powers, and Robin, Vickie, and Mike (and maybe Henry? I haven't seen TFS myself so I'm not commenting on that) are all gay. So while he's not alone, these things are still a rarity. It's not a case of a headcanon list with mostly everyone gay and some token straights.

"Characters are not straight by default."

This sentiment isn't unique to the st fandom and also didn't originate within this fandom, but it is something that I hear often. And it's... not really true, although it kind of depends on the piece of media we are talking about. It might be easy to say this about a show made in the 2020's, although this same sentiment is hard to state about, well, most shows made before the 2020s. And even then, it depends on what the show is going for.

People being not straight by default is a true statement in real life. You shouldn't assume a sexuality for anyone, gay, straight or what have you. But characters are made by people, and people have different biases on how these characters should be written. Calling the Duffers "two straight men" would go against what I just said, although I don't think that the show was written with everyone being gay in mind. Aside from the 4 (maybe 5) I listed, the other characters are not written to be queer. They just aren't.

All of the queer characters have arcs that feature their queerness. Will's queerness has been mentioned since season one. Robin's romance becomes part of her plot in season 4, and Vickie is introduced as her love interest. Romance has always been an important facet of Mike's story since season one, and his failure in a straight romance is highlighted in seasons three and four. Chekhov's painting of season 4 seems to solidify a gay Mike.

Elmax and Ronance as endgame options not only have no lead up but are also mean spirited towards Lucas and Vickie. Elmax gets together, breaking up Lumax, which has been built up since season two, and Lucas is supposed to be okay with this because????? Ronance get's together, effectively writing off a queer character that the show had introduced, and she can't even fulfill the reason she exists in the first place? Rockie is not the most well developed relationship out there, but it's the one that the show has decided to go for. Maybe Ronance could work, in an alternate universe where the show actually wrote that in.

For those that argue that both Max and Nancy are queer I simply... disagree. And you can disagree with me too, we'll both just agree to disagree. I'm not against headcanons, which are usually harmless, but also usually driven by the desires of the headcanon-er and less so the canon of the show. Which again, is fine, but it's also these headcanons which are being used to drive an argument for actual show canon. Usually the argument for any character being queer that wasn't already listed in canon rests solely on vibes, not any concrete evidence that may suggest actual attraction to the same sex.

More substantial evidence usually comes when someone applies a queer lens to a certain character, but an interpretation can be different from authorial intent. And sometimes, the viewer may be so focused on the metaphorical, that they fail to see the literal.

I do think that you could easily apply a queer lens to El's story. Her story is about, in her words, "not belonging," in society, having to remain in hiding, and deviating from feminine norms. I can easily see how you can derive a queer message from this, but all of the traits listed above are a result of her having powers and being raised in a lab, not being attracted to the same sex. Metaphor alone cannot prove that she likes girls.

Going back to Nancy, Nancy's romantic options are between Jonathan and Steve, although the show seems to make it clear that it's going with Jonathan in the end, what with Jancy holding hands at the end of season 4. Steve get's brought up in conversation between the two, alluding two some unresolved tension that's likely to be brought up in season 5, and Robin is... at the high school with Vickie. That is the end of the season establishing the arcs and romances for the final season.

"Gay people didn't exist in the 80's."

That's an argument on the opposite end of things that just isn't true, although I've also heard the counter for this argument, that gay people did in fact exist in the 80's, as evidence that everyone is gay. I'm not really here to argue whether or not gay people existed in the 80's (they did) I'm just here to argue what I think the canon of the show is presenting.

That being said, the show taking place in the 80's is still significant. It may not be a hyperrealistic depiction of the 80's, but the show does seem to understand the idea that at that time, it was very difficult for gay people come out and to start relationships. It's the reason that Robin can't just go up to Vickie and ask her out, and it's the reason that Will can't just say that the painting is from him. It's the reason why Mike hasn't quite yet left his relationship with El and accepted himself. It's the reason why Rockie has to discreetly flirt through peanut butter sandwiches. A character who hasn't had queerness built into their plot, or a relationship that has no buildup, isn't suddenly going to become canon in the last season.

I was talking about this once with a friend who used the show Only Murders in the Building as an example. In the shows second season, Selena Gomez's character is revealed to be bisexual and dates a character that Cara Delevingne plays for most of the season. The show doesn't build up to her character being bisexual, she doesn't come out as such, the other characters don't make a big deal out of it, she just is. So why can this show do something like that but Stranger Things can't?

Well, Only Murders is a show that takes place in present day, and is a light-hearted comedy (albeit with murder). A character suddenly being bisexual with no set up makes sense for the tone that the show has established and when it takes place. Stranger Things takes place in the 80's and establishes within it's first season and maintains it throughout that gay people get killed and are seen as social pariahs.

It's not that I don't understand where the desire to have more characters be queer comes from, especially characters that people already like and relate to. I don't think it's harmful to think that these characters are queer, I'm making an argument purely with regard to authorial intent and the actual outcome of the show. Again, feel free to disagree with me and continue to do whatever you want, these are just some thoughts that I have had on my mind for a while and wanted to put out.

[alullinchaos]

sending out the call, people, give me movies or shows to watch that you'd recommend. currently isolating from family to avoid getting sick with the plague (you know which one) and this means i do not have access to my big boy computer that has all my video games and stuff on it. i just have my laptop. which is not nearly as beefy. and so i ask the people, things to watch?

[josephslittledeputy]

Lucian & Celeste || Wes & Celeste || Sel & Sidra Endymion & Sparrow (W/hand & w/o. Couldn't decide which I liked more, so I just included them both lol) || Daryl & Hanna (TWD)

Tagged by the wonderful and lovely @inafieldofdaisies @carlosoliveiraa @marivenah to do this cute couple picrew, thank you!

Tagging @clicheantagonist @strafethesesinners @skoll-sun-eater @g0dspeeed @shallow-gravy

@adelaidedrubman @henbased

[zumicho]

i really really really wanna read your smaus but smaus are so confusing to me for some reason (probably because i’m used to comprehensive writing) BUT do you have any… tips? help? for reading smaus 😭

find one u really like & get hooked!! read the cws and factlists bc they’re good context

[themaskofreason]

you're the local pokemon guy so would you say this is accurate https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5sxnid4DJiM

yes except not leon he's definitely not straight (hes bi). i am now doing to evaluate more pokemon characters from games i am too invested in and decide if they can say the funny haha word:

birch: yeah. he doesnt say it but yeah.

"that guy is not heterosexual. like i saw him and immediately thought egg but also im predisposed to that" - mutual from internet and real life

roxanne: no but she's trans (confirmed by me and mutual from internet and real life)

brawly: definitely not. hes an ally but sometimes it slips out "by accident". he's like that guy from that one japanese street interview who's tried the gay thing and it wasnt his thing but he respects it.

wattson: canonically has a wife so no (but he has gay friends)

flannery: lesbian icon. she can say it.

norman: he's dabbled (with birch) before he got with his wife. cannot say it (he broke birch's heart)

winona: pansexual trans icon (imo she's down bad for roxanne (previously established straight woman)); she can and does say it

wallace: of course. is this even a question. (he's gay for steven stone (i can and will argue that this is somewhat canon)) (he's actually pan but like. he can still say it) (also we have decided he is a man who is "on estrogen for fun")

sidney: no, but he still says it. "he says slurs but if u call him out he gets SO INTENSELY defensive. he is a terf" - mutual from internet and real life

phoebe: oh aye yeah totally

glacia: no she cannot and no she does not she is a respectful ally

drake: gay trans sailor. of course he can say it

steven: yeah. yeah he's wallace's bf.

milo: yeah totally fr

nessa: 100%

kabu: ally king he would never say it (he suffers with depression. unrelated but i thought i would mention it)

bea: we debated this one for a bit. conclusion is she is a bisexual woman with an extremely boring bf. "she can [say it] but she doesnt bc it makes her boyfriend think he can" - mutual from internet and real life (we then fell into a discussion of our irls (not the same group of people thankfully) who are like this)

"like bea is constantly joking about being w like, nessa or smth but it is so obvious it is barely a joke" - mutual from internet and real life

opal: cannot say it. used to, though. she begins as an insane crazy bigot ("literal pokemon jkr" - mutual from internet and real life) but then meets bede (transmasc king) and realises shes a terrible person and changes her ways <3

gordie: either a he/him lesbian (mutual from internet and real life's opinion) or a straight man who says it after a few drinks much to his mother's disappointment (my opinion). please give feedback we cannot decide

melony: got married before she discovered gay people exist. experiences lesbian yearning (mutual from internet and real life has said she is the song good luck babe). raised her kids to be good allies, does NOt say the word.

piers: yeah and he says it daily.

raihan: totally. he doesnt say it often but he can and will when necessary

leon: he's a bi trans king. he can say it but he gets scared of being cancelled (because he's very much in the public eye) so he doesnt

sonia: bisexual trans queen! she can but doesnt!

chairman rose my beloathed: he can but he should not because i hate him

oleana: she can and she does ("she's The mean lesbian" - mutual from internet and real life). i hate her.

[lacnunga]

Amyway it's my birthday and I'm depressed about it as always

[lord-squiggletits]

Something occurred to me just now when talking in the Pharma chat and now I really want to hear from a wider (if limited) sample of people

Someone recced me this fic (Ambulon POV, has shippy Pharma/Ambulon and friendship Ambulon&First Aid) which is really really good and funny, but aside from that I can't really think of many that get into their relationships with each other. Mostly just fics that center on one of them, or two of them as a ship, but don't really put a focus on their dynamic all together? If anyone has more recs along this category though let me know ;w;

[det-loki]

I must tell someone this tea, otherwise I will implode. I've kept this to myself out of embarrassment for ages so what better place than to tell the internet :)

tw: cringe? dom/sub talk

soooo I was on bumble a while ago, bc why not. I had zero intentions of dating seriously or hookups. I match with a guy, he was military. important detail if you ask me. for context, I am a wallflower, basically a nun, very traditionally 'innocent' by choice. I got a thrill from talking to these idiots but none of this went anywhere.

this guy and I start talking and he immediately jumps into 'he's a dom' blah blah blah. as previously mentioned, I am inexperienced. my dom/sub knowledge comes from media such as fanfic 😅

I continue this conversation with this guy, even tho I am a bit uncomfortable with it because it is so new and unknown. At first I enjoy the sense of freedom the dominant energy gave me, although I don't consider myself a sub nor do I think I'm actually into this. but, alas I let it continue

then, he gets all sorts of controlling and mean. mind you, I've been talking to the person for a few DAYS. less than 5. I'm taken aback at the aggressive nature and ask him to slow down, give me some grace and let me get to know you and get to trust you. I said so many times that I barely know him, I don't trust you in this way, there's no way I can just fall into this dynamic without trusting you. it felt very reckless as someone who claimed to be a 'dom' to not encourage trust. and a hypocrite who told me communication was the most important thing, yet constantly ignored my requests to slow down and overlooked my concerns.

thennnn, threatened to 'punish' me....I laughed greatly at this bc you and I have never met in person, we've only communicated through text and i think this is silly at this point. I learned very quickly about myself that I will literally laugh in someone's face if they try to 'punish' me.

Eventually, I told this person that I was uncomfortable, used the established safe word and cut off communication.

I feel that this person is not a true 'dom', they are someone who simply wants the power and no responsibility of harboring a safe, healthy, communicative dynamic, ie, a true dom/sub dynamic.

and most embarrassingly, this 'situationship' has actually really deeply affected me. I was having panic attacks often while communicating with this person. I still feel really icky about all of it. I have told no one this because it feels humiliating. I know I'm not alone in these types of things but it's still so bizarre and uncomfortable to talk about.

[notthestarwar]

For your WIP folder…. Omg it’s so hard to choose. Wonder Soldier AU with Kix?

thank you so much for the ask!!!

omg. this is the one im currently rotating in my brain. im SO VERY obsessed with it.

(im going to ramble so badly here lol pls dont feel you have to read it all but im VERY excited by this au)

ok so. ive been rereading the winter soldier comics. starting from the first reveal of him in captain america onwards. i feel like everyone knows about the 'who the hell is bucky scene' which is a real heartstopper but omg. there are so many moments that didnt make it in to the films. theres just so much feeling there and i see a huge paralell between a lot of stuff bucky goes through and the clones origin.

i'd seen winter soldier au's with various clones before, but there was always something missing for me. on my reread of the comics i realised what it was. the being out of time. finding yourself in the future unexpectedly. having to adapt. getting used to being alone. and then realising you arent. realising that someone you failed to save is here. is still maybe capable of being saved. is such a huge part for me. thats the driver of so much emotion.

and i realised that there IS a part of star wars that makes me feel kinda similar. Kix's story. Kix finds himself waking up in a galaxy that has moved on. theres no room for him anymore. he was once a part of something, but now he isnt. he's never been alone before, but now he is, without question. he is the last of his kind. and after he finds out what happened, his identity as a medic is really threatened. his job was to heal his brothers, to save them. but when it mattered, he couldnt.

so then i started thinking. what would it be like for kix, facing this reckoning, having faced it for a while. finding himself a place in this new world, beginning to fight the first order. beginning to move on from something thats really quite impossible to ever truly move on from. what would it be like for him to face what steve rogers does in those comics?

for anyone that doesnt know, steve and buckys stories in the comics are slightly different. they are brought together because captain america needs a sidekick. they dont know each other before. and bucky is pretty much a kid at the time. he's 16. steve becomes like his older brother as they fight in ww2 with a superhero group called the invaders (pretty much like the avengers) against nazi superheroes and the like, unitil, just at the end of the war, they get captured. steve watches bucky being tortured, he cant stop it, and then when they escape, bucky sacrifices himself. the last thing steve sees before he gets frozen is bucky, just out of steves reach, unable to be saved after sacrificing himself for their cause. steve is awake in the ice in the comics. he has all those years to dwell on it, and when he gets out, the world has moved on and its far far too late to save anyone he knew.

buckys backstory has some real similarities with the clones. he grows up on a military camp, his dad dies when he's like 12 and he ends up staying as a kind of camp mascot. he grows up in the army. violence is every day for him. its all he knows. and when he gets recruited as captain americas sidekick. its all about the image. he is a propaganda tool. there to look like a kid so that other kids want to join up, but trained to be a killer. he is there to do the dirty work that captain america cant be seen doing. he's an assasin from the start. deadly efficient.

buckys return in the comics is delicious. it comes out of nowhere, to the reader and to steve rogers. he has been living in this new world and has accepted that noone will ever really understand him. anyone that survived ww2 looks at it with rose tinted glasses, but in a lot of ways to steve, he's still there. and then comes the winter soldier, a cold war relic, woken up to meet someone elses aims. in a lot of ways, it echos how steve has been working for america, putting out fire after fire, since he got out of the ice. the people around steve put the pieces together before he does and when they try and break it to him, he refuses to hear it. he wont look at their evidence. he simply cant. to know that not only could he not save this younger brother figure, but that while he was frozen, powerless, bucky was taken by the enemy and used in the worst kind of way. made to do things he never would have done (a big part of this is that bucky never would have worked against america. his patriotism was a huge part of his character thanks to his upbringing, which his handlers knew and found pretty funny. they used him to fight america because it was ironic). like omg. the paralells there! with the clones being raised to serve the republic, being raised to know nothing but loyalty because alll they knew was the military. and then having chips in their heads force them to do the last thing they ever would have done? again and again?

steve refuses to believe that its bucky. but we begin to see that he knows. he's just in denial. he fights the winter soldier and we have the 'who the hell is bucky moment' and then, his denial is shattered in the worst possible way. a dossier is delivered to him holding records from the winter soliders handlers from the start. he has to see the cold and impersonal documentation of the ppl that ripped his brother, his best friend, from death (from peace) so that he could be used against his country. he'd forgotten everything about who he was, all he had was the muscle memory of this fight. he could still fight. he was still a killer. these files document a kind of sick amusement from his handlers at his situation. his drs talk about him like he's an object for testing. (there are so many paralels here with the kamineese, palpatine, jango and how they treat the clones). worse than this. the files show that even without his memory, bucky fought them. during a mission in america he dropped off the radar, confused and lost, but trying to find something of himself. at this point they start wiping his memory after each mission and keeping him in stasis. he is no more than a tool. the whole thing is heart wretching. i know the movie version touched a lot of ppls hearts but. oh my god. it doesnt even touch the surface.

that feeling. those vibes. are the backbone of this au.

kix is beginning to move on. and then, the first order pull out the winter soldier. kix fights him and he's caught. because this stranger, decades after the last clone died, fights just like a clone. and against his will kix is just. pulled in. it feels like one last link to his brothers. he needs to know who trained this assasin. he needs to know more. this guy is like a ghost. the more he finds out the further he feels from any answers. what he finds. well none of it fits together. this guy has been doing this for decades. is he the first winter soldier? was he the one trained by a clone or was that his predecessor? his predecessors predecessor. kixs new war continues, as he investigates. this is simply a side quest. research to resolve his own curiosity.

and then, kix is fighting yet another battle. and in comes this guy. and as they fight, it gets to the point where its just kix and this assasin and the guys mask falls off. and he's a clone. and its an impossibility. its not something kix ever let himself imagine. how can there possibly be a clone here? how can he possibly be so young. he's hardly physically older than kix, in statis all these years, and the guy runs and kix is left. just. shellshocked. he goes back to his research. it doesnt make any sense.

time passes and kix realises who this winter soldier is. he knows him. not only that. he knows exactlly how they are controlling him. its the chips. the chips that kix was unable to save his brothers from. he woke up here and he thought it was too late for anything. his brothers long dead. him, unable to save any of them. he's a medic but he was not enough. yet. here is a chance. a chance at redemption. a brother, just one, that still needs saving. that kix has a chance of saving. and if he does. its someone that will understand. someone who knows what it is to be a clone. someone who knows what it is to wake up in a new galaxy, after years of stasis against your own will. its a chance.

the story deals with kix trying to face this. the whole thing is just like. emotional turmoil. he's given himself a impossible task. he's trying to save someone that does not want saving and very much wants to kill kix. in doing so he's having to face all this trauma and shit he had just accepted living with. and even worse. he gets to see a chipped clone in action. the lack of self preservation, the lack of control. kix gets to see what it would have been like for every one of their brothers. and he has to face that. its a journey thats kinda agonising. lots to face up to. lots to be dealt with. bad situation all round.

im so sorry for how long ive rambled but. oh my god im so utterly obsessed with this. its taken root in side me. the idea. the thought of them. gives me a feeling in my chest thats just. beyond words.

theres another post where i talk about it here also here

im just...screaming. the whole thing makes me want to scream and bite and never stop

ive yet to actually write anything that i can share loool cause ive just been chewing over the idea HOWEVER rest assured once i have something i'll be sharing it on here lol cause i need to yell about this au as much as possible