#dont even get me started on the misogyny here

[thiriumstains]

i have so many things to say about how the android revolution was handled in dbh, especially how most of the conflict was around markus’s choices to be violent or peaceful. idrk how to phrase it all but like. ugh it just bugs me how the androids Have to be peaceful and cooperative in order to gain freedom

a huge part of the revolution is ‘we can’t stoop to the same level as the human’ and it makes me so mad. like yeah sure, murder and hurting ppl isn’t good. but protests for rights have never been peaceful. you don’t gain rights by being peaceful and perfect. i just hate it so much. plus, the game has obvious parallels to the civil rights movement (even if david cage says it’s not. it is. even if it wasn’t, this game is political no matter how u view it. the topic of rights and freedom will always be political) and to imply that the android revolution has to be near perfectly peaceful to succeed is crazy. girl does he think the civil rights movement was entirely peaceful?? someone put him and all the other writers in a god damn history class

not to mention markus. i think the writers saw him as like the equivalent to mlk jr, with the parallels to the civil rights movements and such, which is crazy considering they turned him into their Savior and led the whole movement. like. side eye. idk i love markus’s story, but i think the whole revolution and being turned into a savior robo jesus was so so bad and tone deaf (thank u david cage..) . and the whole revolution TOOK PLACE IN A WEEK. A WEEK. THATS INSANEE. A WHOLE REVOLUTION IN A WEEK IS INSANE. i understand that a game needs to end but we don’t need to see Every Single Second of the story!! spread it out over a month, give characters time to form relationships, let the plot thicken, let things get tense, let things simmer and develop!!! not everything needs to happen on screen!!! one of my biggest gripes about the game is its timeline </3

i know i just rambled a bunch but god it annoys me so much. markus’s story was done so wrong for so many reason, and as a queer person who’s largely interested in protests and movements for rights and such, it just makes me so mad how badly and idealistically it was created. it feels like it was written by humans, by OPPRESSORS, dreaming of a utopia where they are still good people. :/ which i suppose it IS in a way — but still u get my point

EDIT: here are some more things i said in the reblog a that i want more ppl to see

i hate how north’s violence and anger is seen as a bad thing. i hate how markus never gets a moment to rest or interact with people outside of conversations that love the plot forward. i hate how jericho just accepts that they’ll die before they’re violent in order to ‘win.’ i hate that ‘winning’ is even a thing in this context. i hate that androids constantly have to be better than humans and not stoop to they’re level. according to these writer, they can’t be angry in the face of their oppression and that SUCKS.

when i played this game with my cousins, we were so desperate to make every pacifist choice in order to raise our public opinion so we could win. we could tell from the first few markus scenes, he wasn’t allowed to be angry or mad or hateful or violent if he wanted to have close to the same respect humans got. and that SUCKED. it made us feel like we were just taking hit after hit after hit and never accomplishing anything.

i love this game and i love markus (he’s probably my fav character) but the way the revolution is handled is awful considering how it’s such a metaphor for oppression and oppressed ppl. it’s not even rlly a metaphor — it’s just direct symbolism. like. androids are oppressed yet the only way they can fight back without getting murdered and ran down is by being entirely peaceful. there should have been a Balance. you should have valences the violence and the peace in order to get a good outcome. not all one way and all the other way. the game also should’ve been longer than a WEEK. bc that’s rlly a huge issue with it.

outside of maybe the kiss with north and returning to carl’s house/grave, markus doesn’t get a single moment to exist without the revolution and the plot. even those two scenes kinda serve the plot. meanwhile, connor gets moments like looking through hank’s desk, breaking into hank’s house, talking with hank on the bridge to develop his character and relationships outside of the plot. markus doesn’t get that (kara kinda does? but instead of being tied to the plot, she’s just tied to kara the whole time, which can be just as bad).

markus’s friendships never felt… real? they largely felt like it was just bc of all the jericho stuff and the revolution. all his friends just served a narrative purpose. north was the violent choices, josh was the peaceful choices, and simon… well i’ll be honest, simon died rlly early in my play through so i barely knew him. but from what i’ve seen, he’s the ‘cowardly’ route. honestly markus and simon’s friendship seems the most realistic since simon is constantly sacrificing himself for markus and such. which is saying something considering north is markus’s love interest (and that came out of NO WHERE)

with markus and north’s romance, it feels so forced. not to say i hate norkus, but it’s so fast and sudden and u can just Tell it’s for plot reason — which is proved by the kiss at the very end of the game. they had no time to get to know each other or form a relationship outside of the android revolution and keeping jericho together and alive. it gives the vibes of ‘in 2 months we’ll realize we were just in a relationship because he felt we had to be, not because we liked each other romantically’ which, i’ll be honest that vibe is awesome, but considering that was Not what the writers were going for, it falls very flat.

all in all i love markus’s story but by good did the writers fuck it up. get me behind the pencil, i’ll do it myself

[clay-pidgeon]

every day i think about feferi peixes

[tiixij]

when i play a metal gear game i keep a tally of Kojima Misogyny Moments and Kojima Feminism Moments

[thatbitchery]

BOUNDARIES 101; WHAT ARE THEY, WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE THEM AND HOW TO HAVE THEM

A boundary is the line of discontinuity where the rest of the world stops and you begin, simply put. It's the line that says: past this point, you don't matter, I do. That's that. In this way we can classify a boundary as a definition of who you are/ self.

A boundary is more 'yes' than it is 'no' . We easily express the no ( don't talk to me that way) but at the root of it is the yes desire (talk to me with respect). Boundaries are more about desire than restriction. They're more of expressions of the self than a restriction of the other. Stay with me here, I'll get to that point real soon.

Contrary to popular belief, a boundary is not verbal. It's energetic. This is the one point I want you to walk away with from this entire post. You can miss the rest but this. This. One. Here. You do NOT verbally express a boundary, you energetically draw it. This is the takeaway here babe. This right here.

Let me put it this way: you can not tell someone what they can or can not do. Why? Because this is an infringement of free will and NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING in this planet will cause you to face more resistance and friction than telling a free being what restrictions it must face. You're not being 'strong and powerful' when you tell someone to not speak to you that way you're causing friction and opening the door to a lot more disrespect than there once was.

Take this scenario. That guy at your office that was better off unborn. Every time he opens his mouth you burn with pity for that one poor lady that really spent nine months creating this thing. That Mr Red pill, you know? Youre in a meeting and you say something intelligent that reminds him hes actually dumb so he says something like 'hey sweetheart can you make me a cup of coffee?' With a smirk. The rest of the office laughs, it's just funny you know? Two ways this could go.

1. You tell him it's not funny. "Hey listen Chad that's misogynistic as fuc don't talk to me like that" so Chad raises his hands in mock surrender and goes "whoaaaa I didn't meannanything by it, just a joke. Man, these raging feminists, not everything is misogyny Sarah learn to take a joke, Christ". Now the meeting is ruined for you. You go into an argument that gets shut down in favor of the meeting. Walking out there's two groups of people, on your side and on his side, and now that you've marked a target on your back you know for a fact you'll be the recipient of microaggressions and snide remarks, suddenly work feels so so heavy.

2. You look him straight in the eye and keep talking. You completely ignore that remark and move on. He makes one more move and you ignore him completely, moving on. It's like he doesn't even exist. After the meeting he runs after you to try and act apologetic but you know it's a drama trap, so you stop and turn to him. He's talking but you're staring at his forehead. Then neck. Then shirt. And I mean with absolutely no emotion, no disdain, no approval, just blank staring. He's still talking, you look at his shoes, back to his forehead. He's still going on and you say "work to do" and go back to your desk. That's the last time you speak to him unless you have to, and when you do have to it's three sentence words, straight unwavering eye contact, NEVER forget to stare at that forehead (manipulation 101 beechez) and tilt your head. When your eyes meet glaze your sight like you couldn't be bothered. Before He's done you walk out or move to the next person. You give him no second you dont have to, whatever silly rumors he starts you shrug off, you talk to him with your back up straight and no facial express, like he's nothing (because I mean. He's nothing)

Which one of those two do you think works.

You. Can . Not. Tell a person what they can or cannot do. Back when I thought I had boundaries and I'd tell every Mary and John what they can and can not do to me all I met was "oh my gooooddddd wow you're so conceited if you think I put all that energy into disrespecting you oh my goooood it's not that deep ohmigauuuud girl get over it oh my God so I'm the bad guy now wuh wuh wuh" and walked out of those conversations with more friction and resistance than solutions feeling guilty as hell and even lost some valuable people. You. Just. Can't. You'll shoot yourself in the foot.

So how do we express our boundaries ladies? Energetically. When you decide for yourself no one should come to your house unannounced don't even open the door. My mother does this. She'll be inside just chilling and after you call she'll answer "you should have said you're coming! I wasn't expecting a visitor today so I was busy!" And that's all you get. No apology. No rescheduling. Next time. Call. [Queeeen behavior].

Boundaries have more to do with what you will do than what the other person can and can not do. Once more you can't tell a person what to do, so your boundary is your "if....then" plan. If someone speaks to me in a way I don't like that's the last time I speak to them unless I have to until an apology is delivered and they earn me back. If my bf doesn't call or speak to me all day I'm not speaking to or calling him until there's a bunch of flowers, poetry and restaurant reservation for an apology and an actual apology and it's two strikes and I'm out. If my parents do not respect my choices they don't get to be a part of said choices, the good or bad or in between. If my friends gossip about someone else they lose access to my personal information or life because once a gossip always a gossip. If. . . Then. A boundary without attached consequence is a joke.

If you don't know what boundaries to set there are three ways you can go about it.

1. Visualize the woman you're hoping to become. Who is she. What are her ways. What boundaries do you think she has?

2. Discomfort and pain. Most boundaries are inborn. Since we are born with the 'self' it comes with its own definition/ lines and if there was no socializing process we would still have them but for the sake of fitting in our social groups a lot of us had to give them up (I'm looning at you people pleasers) . If you have lost touch with yours listen to your Discomfort. What's on the other side of that is your desire and the line between is your boundary. Eg; you don't like how that man was looking at you. You have a boundary against sexualization. Okay, the next time someone sexualizes you, what's the consequence they face?

3. Off your head what boundaries do you want. The problem with this method is we express our trauma more than boundaries. I was hurt by someone in this way so this is my boundary. Being that a boundary is an expression of the self to base it on your pain is a betrayal to the self, but until you get back in touch with your self this works. Off head. What do you want.

The reason we have boundaries is to safeguard ourselves , or, our SELF from corrosion, dilution and diffusion. If you're in a constant state of fear, pain, anxiety, fight or flight you need more boundaries, your SELF is in jeopardy and given that life is literally structured about your SELF do I need to explain why it must be protected at all costs? Negative emotion is a good indicator of a boundary crossed. Those things that hurt your soul, those. Keep them OUT of your lines.

You have to train the people around you to respect your boundaries by a shift in your energy that they FEEL and they have to jump through hoops, go above and beyond to get back into your good graces or lose you for life. You must be willing to upset and lose people in safeguard of your best interests, and if the person is irreplaceable even just temporarily eg your boss, you must shift your energy subtly enough that they feel it but softly enough that you have enough time to plan a soft exit without getting fired.

Telling people what to do will bite you later, don't bother. You train people with reward and punishment in the way you regulate your energy, like one trains a dog. Good thing? Neutral and normal. Bad thing? Worship me or die.

Reminder nothing on the face of this planet, in heaven above or hell below or galaxy around is worth betraying your SELF for and keeping up with bullshit is the loudest expression of a lack mindset that says "I'll take what I have because I don't think there is better for me out there", and people can sense this and then you are, in layman's language, royally fucked.

Website

[dragonstailbutch]

Hey sorry i am trying to like. find examples of what you mean when you talk about mra stuff and (trans)misogyny in forcemasc content and tumblr search has betrayed me once again, can you explain?

(sorry I normally wouldn't ask but I wanna make sure I'm not perpetuating anything!! Also fucking tumblr search!!! it is ridiculous!)

so ive been sitting on this ask for months since ive got it. i want to do it justice and try to take it at face value that its being honest in asking.

The thing is, theres this trend and a weird amount of effort to be like force femme, to be forceful and like its something to fearful of and give in to. But we cant do that, cause all that does is reinforce the idea that being a man is a toxic thing. I saw this post the other day where a transman talked about like, the whole "raised as a weapon" thing, the violence and horror of being a man and raised that way versus how they felt growng into it as a transman. How they wanted to reclaim that phrase or something? i could be misremembering.

But that was never the intent of forcemasc. It wasnt actually about being a dude, literally *forcing* someone who was unwilling into masculinity, none of the posts that i made that started the community (and yes i, a transfem butch woman, started and made this community and some of yall need to get over yourselves) were ever about that, it was intended to be a soft mimic or even a call to forcefemme.

i was all about making it soft and tender for a reason, cause if i didnt i was only reinforcing the toxic masculinity narrative, "men fighting in the mud" "men are dominant and cool" " to be a man is to be forced into masculinity and to be disgusted with the feminine" or whatever. When masculinity isnt about just men, and being butch isnt just being masculine. masculinity should also be sensitivity, not domination. i wanted it to be better, show a better side of what masculinity could be, what being butch is.

Ive spoken before a bit too, about the tags people used and added to forcemasc, and really maybe i was wrong in ever naming it forcemasc. people used and still use tags like autoandrophilia, autoandrophile, androphile, autogynephilia, androphilia, and autogynephile. Ive seen so many people with urls and tags and posts calling themselves transandrobros, literally calling themselves MRAs, as if that was something to be proud of, as if they dont understand that they arent fighting for their and our rights, they're fighting for cis-mens rights by using those names and terms, not transmascs/transmens rights. I can understand ignorance, but weve talked about how the words you use have history, especially those like the tags i mentioned and androphilia and androphobia and others, all of them have roots in deeeeeeeply misogynistic and transphobic people and history.

Literally all of these are awful and are phrases that arent and wont be reclaimed because theyre history is one of pain and hurting trans people, one of coercive 'help', literal forced detransitioning and reinforcement of MRA and terf narrative that men are both good and the worst creature alive and that to be a woman is to be disgusting and the purest thing all at once. That to be a transwoman is sick and we shouldnt be trusted.

Im trying to be very kind, not scream and rage, not because i dont desperately want to, but because if i do, as a butch transwoman, ESPECIALLY cause i claim being butch, people wont listen to me no matter how much of what i say is meaningful. one of the reasons why im doing this NO, instead of in anothr day or two, is that im coming to terms with the fact that the situation will just get qorse, not better without words.

Part of why im still sane is that ive gotten a couple asks here and there about how my posts and creation of the community has helped them and its so wonderful to see that, genuinely so amazing to see people recontextualize and love themselves. its wonderful and im so fucking happy about it.

i personally made this space so i could love myself, who i am as a trans person and my body, and i knew that other people needed and wanted that for themselves too and i wanted to help, share this love with more people. That to be hairy and chubby and masculine and butch was a nice thing. But to me it feels like it was coerced into being a thing for Men. A thing no longer for me or people like me who share the butch culture and name to no longer enjoy cause people unfamiliar with kink and tran history have decided that masculinity and butchness are the exact same thing. Id say people should go be a bear, but you wont learn their culture either and thats cruel and insulting to bears.

We deserve better You deserve better. Stop falling for the lies and hate. We beg you

[magmythedevil]

Envy shippers are forgetting something, and thats kinda of connected to misogyny.

..........

Just warning before i start that i will be talking negativily about N a litte bit in this post, even If a love him very much, Its necessary lollll.

Also Please dont think this post is some form of hate against V or envy. Its a post about the way >some< NxV shippers treat Uzi and their double standards.

........

So, i saw that *one* group of people making jokes about Uzi dying/N killing Uzi so N can be with V again and after some time thinking i realized that those jokes are kinda of connected to how they think that "Uzi stole N from V" or "V deserves N more than Uzi does"

And thats make me think: why, them, as an envy shippers, chooses to throw their hatred at Uzi especifically? Why is the Idea of Uzi, the young girl who did >>nothing<<< to deserve what shes going through, dying so satisfing to them? Even If Its a "joke"?

And i guess i know the answer, they think V deserves N more, they are the one that deserve to be end-game, because they have a tragic love story, they had a spark and becuse they have known each other for way longer and all that stuff, right?

But I guess, them, yes, the one who love V and N as a duo and as a couple, are forgeting something important in this equation: N himself

If they want to blame someone for envy not working in the present time that much, N is the one they should be hating on (and V too tbh) not Uzi, Uzi is just having feelings.

N is the one that choosed to prioritize and protect a random purple worker girl he just met.

N is the one that choosed to change sides and fight against his own damn crush to protect the people of a random worker girl he just met.

he is the one that choosed to stop to act on his crush on V once he met Uzi, the random worker girl. (Srs, not even a single sigh of it since episode 2)

He is the one that choosed to keep holding Uzi's hand (and embrance It harder, when she was the one to ask him to let It go) while blushing at her on that hallway in front of everyone.

He is the one that randomly got her to have a dance with him in that prom fight.

He is the one that felt extremely bad of the Idea of Uzi being scared of him, yes, the random worker he just met.

He was the one to get angry at V for not respecting Uzi and say to her face "what is wrong with you?"

He is the one that ins't afraid to be all cozy with her in public (cabin fever is here as proof)

He was the one that, even after reexperiencing the thing he had with V in the past again, was happy to see Uzi instead of being nervous about it, when even V was embarassed.

Uzi never did anything, thats just a Uzi they created in their minds. wich ins't that surprising since they all dont even like to rewatch most of the show anyways (N and Uzi's interactions are too much for them to handle)

The worst thing she has done was being agressive to V, but mind you, thats bc V was treating her way worse when Uzi even considered her a friend.

>>N<< was the one that, accidently or not, made most of (If not all) his romantic moments with Uzi real.

But they wont talk about his position in this triangle right? Its just Uzi, Uzi this, Uzi that, Uzi is always the villian here.

Because N is the perfect boy who ins't capable of understanding love outside of his thing with V, right?

""N would never feel something like that for Uzi!!! Hes clearly being peer pressured by her!!""

"""the writing is sooo badddd!!! N would never do this ugggfhh""

""weirdo vickers, fix you damn show""

And..... you know what that sorta looks like...right? Yes, misogyny . Because they choose to hate on and make weird jokes about Uzi, the woman, when N, the man, had a bigger role with his romantic thing with Uzi than she did. And If they hate nxuzi so much, they should be hating on N too, but i know they wont.

For the people who hate to see N "being babied" they sure dont like to talk much about him in these things

[vaarsuvius-and-blackwing]

The early comics aren't bad people going back are just going in to it expecting a completely different kind of comic because you're used to the newer stuff, it's perfectly fine, a little dated in parts, but people keep talking about casual misogyny and homophobia when you could like count the amount of jokes that I think falls under it on one hand, like yeah some stuff is dated, but for a webcomic in the early 2000's? It was always more on the progressive side. Dismissing it as cheap dnd jokes is also just a bit eeeh to me? Like yeah some jokes are a bit cheap, but screaming "I GOT A FOUR" in a failed stealth check is still comedy gold to me honestly.

Plus the fact the story exists within a self aware dnd comic parody is like? a major plot point? like yeah the characterizations and plots get really good over time and start out a bit mediocre but if you aren't here for cheesy dnd jokes then i dont really think you'd fully enjoy even the later stuff? Hell, Redcloak who is often said to be one of the best characters doesn't work nearly as good if you don't have that background of knowing that goblins are the common generic dnd enemy.

It always feels weird to me to just dismiss the early stuff, maybe it's just nostalgia as I very literally grew up along side the comic (i have fond memories of being like 10 when blood runs in the family came out and being super excited) but I really think people give the wrong impression with the first hundred few pages. It's not perfect by any means, but at worst it gets nothing more then an eye roll from me and it perfectly sets up the early dynamic of the group.

[fictionkinfessions]

Reply to @ 748650924689555456/real-talk-but-i-hope-i-dont-ever-cross-the-line

First of all, it was nearly impossible for me to read this essay. You’ve gotta start breaking up more of your ridiculously long paragraphs.

Anyway, this is such an elitist take, which why in the WORLD are we making kinning elitist in the first place? Congratulations on not having that problem or not kinning from every media you consume, do you want like… a medal for that? Some praise? I mean seriously, want do you get from shitting on people who DO kin from everything they consume? Gods forbid they watch, read, play something and see themself in it. I’m not saying it doesn’t become a problem at times, because it definitely can from what I’ve seen, but for serious, what do you think your borderline villain monologue is going to do in this situation beyond making people feel like shit? What’s the point of popping in here, writing all of this ON ANON, and acting like it’s so cool of you?

The people you’re ranting about probably already know it’s a problem and are trying to work on that, or, if they aren’t, have made some peace with it because gods forbid someone finds something that briefly helps them when the world is quite literally falling apart around us. Having a little escapism or a little something to focus on beyond the world being shit is good for people, believe it or not. Makes people happy to find themself in media they consume, little pieces of themself that make them feel better to learn about. Fuck, some people are uncomfortable with exploring parts of themselves without the barrier of kin for trauma reasons, isn’t it a good thing they find multiple parts of themself all over the place?

Anyway. It’s so cool that you kin in the specific way that you do, but the majority of people don’t. Fuck, tons of people don’t even kin spirituality. Regardless of that, who cares if they have an “identity crisis” or split? That doesn’t concern you and frankly, acting like it does and you’re going to make a documentary on the people who probably have life rough enough already is so shitty. This entire ask is so shitty lmfao!!!!

There are tons of problems in fandom spaces that are encouraged by people who kin, I won’t lie, but kinning a ton or pairing two white guys who have “no chemistry” or whatever else you said is REALLY not the issues to focus on. Let’s talk about white people who use names from closed cultures. Or how fandom spaces promote misogyny? How about we focus on something that has real, genuine meaning and doesn’t make people feel terrible for no reason beyond YOU don’t like something?

All your “exposure” is going to do is get people who use kinning as a method of escapism from already horrible lives targeted and harassed more and more by nonkin. I just don’t see the point in this ask beyond “I’m better than you and everyone will see how weird and hollow you guys are 🫶🏻🫶🏻” like idk anon??? Touch grass or something lmfao

Sorry if this is mean mpc, I’m trying not to be, but still get the point across.

x

[milfygerard]

god its just so annoying and part of it is like yeah people are allowed to hate and critique and razz on taylor swift but everyone is like...bad at it?

Ok i've been thinking about this for awhile and the core of it is that taylor is the best example of a Sacrificial Bitch, or a woman who is bad or annoying or popular enough (or a mix of all 3 e.g. taylor swift) that most if not all misogyny and misinformation surrounding her is left unchallenged or directly supported by a group (specifically here I mean tumblr) or when it is pointed out and has to be acknowledged, it is acknowledged with multiple asterisks that the woman is indeed a Stupid Bitch and we Do Not Respect Her (the taylor swift AI rape art discussion from earlier this year, the stabbing at a tswift dance party/barely foiled terrorist attack at her vienna show)

The most annoying part of a lot of these is that they are usually a seed of truth (taylor over-pollutes by using private jets or makes an annoying amount of variants to hold her chart position) before spiraling out of control (the numbers on the jets pollution output being revealed to be massively overinflated because the people who did the math never actually researched what kind of jet she was using, 64 fucking variants come on guys) or just getting kind of weird and self aggrandizing (not giving charli the #1 album by releasing variants is antifeminist? what do you think feminism is?) and ends up coming off as taylor being more a useful figure of ridicule

Like I guess I am a fan which makes me a bit biased, but as has been discussed before, taylor swift has a weird sort of gas leak effect on pretty much anyone who thinks about her too hard whether they lover her OR hate her and at least I know im being supid and insane most of the time and dont think that enjoying taylor swift is some sort of moral high-ground that people treat loving OR hating her as. Shes literally just a celebrity and artist who writes songs and performs them! And there HAS to be constructive ways to discuss and critique her that dont turn into embarassingly obvious misogyny (people trying to argue she doesnt write her own songs as if being a songwriter isnt like the basis for her entire career and again being easily researched and debunked? Also less direct but very onvious slutshaming or treating her like a vapid idiot, also the people who were mad she was featured in the time POTY for metoo after facing a massive public court case started by the guy who groped her when she was like 20 dont think I forgot) or some insane reverse-swiftie hyper obsession that is unable to comprehend that shes like...a person who makes music and doesnt really do much else? She doesnt even have a makeup line or a memoir literally all she does all day is write songs.

[uter-us]

hey yall i got a great question from @waveofmutilationuksurf !! they asked how i view the process of male or female socialization, so here's some explanation with data on the way we are socialized based upon sex. anyone's free (and encouraged) to reblog or pm me or comment if my information is inaccurate, they have something to add, or disagree w, etc!!!

okay so to start off, just defining socialization: the second definition from Oxford languages for socialization is "the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society." so male socialization would be about the distinct differences in how people who are male are taught to behave acceptably in our society as opposed to female people. (most radfems would say "men"/"boys" and "women"/"girls" but this post isn't primarily for radfems just the general public interested, so I am only going to be saying female people / female children and male people / male children for that sake! i have more about this at the end.) I am talking primarily about the socialization in childhood and adolescence. (As their brains are developing, gender roles have a greater ability/depth to ingrain into their sense of the world and themselves. The dont have the context or knowledge to discern stereotype from reality.)

Male and female socialization aids in upholding misogyny and patriarchy primarily through gender roles. It starts from birth. From the abstract of peer reviewed ScienceDirect's "Gender Bias in Mothers' Expectations about Infant Crawling." ->

"This study examined gender bias in mothers' expectations about their infants' motor development. Mothers of 11-month-old infants estimated their babies' crawling ability, crawling attempts, and motor decisions in a novel locomotor task—crawling down steep and shallow slopes. Mothers of girls underestimated their performance and mothers of boys overestimated their performance. Mothers' gender bias had no basis in fact. When we tested the infants in the same slope task moments after mothers' provided their ratings, girls and boys showed identical levels of motor performance."

This is an example of how even before the female child could walk and talk, they were already being underestimated, and the male child was already being overestimated. This is a very sad message to send to the female children because it undoubtedly extends into other aspects of their lives. This is just the beginning of a lifetime of underestimation towards female people who will then internalize this about themselves, believing it to be true and hindering their potential. This message is also bad to send to the male children, because when this theme extends in other aspects of their lives (throughout their lives), they will underestimate the female people around them, while over estimating the male people. This undeniably will do harm to the female people as the playing field is not level!

Another example is on the content of greeting cards (separated by age too!). Children get greeting cards from peers and family year after year. From peer reviewed ACM's "Pretty Princess vs. Successful Leader: Gender Roles in Greeting Card Messages." (download for free here) ->

primary topics from the birthday cards:

and fyi this is the info on the catagorization:

"We further split these messages based on their gender association. We assume that the association is implied by the recipient’s gender mentioned in the message: If a message mentions an indicator in the general female group in Table 2 (or variations of mother or grandmother), we categorize it as a female-associated message."

Specifically in our discussion of childhood socialization, the difference between the female-addressed cards and the male-addressed cards were between a value in appearance for female children, and a value in achievement for male children.

(the reason i still am specifying sex and not gender for these cards is because the majority of trans people do not come out in childhood (more often adulthood and adolescence), so the vaaasttt majority of these birthday cards going to these children are picked based off their sex.)

this study was actually REALLY very interesting and you should definitely consider reading it (or at least perusing some of the data! they include valentines and wedding cards too w over 18000 cards total, and they additionally have some data on personal messages on twitter-- all very interesting!)

another example is from an article from the New York times titled, "The Gender Divide in Preschoolers’ Closets". The author, a mother to two preschoolers, sees the divide in her male toddler's clothing and her female toddler's clothing. She writes primarily about the functionality of the clothing. ->

"'Especially in the toddler years, the boys have more pockets, they have more fun active clothes than the girls,' said Francesca Sammaritano, a children’s wear designer and assistant professor of fashion at Parsons School of Design. 'There’s leg room for bending your knees.'"

Additionally the author Sara Clemence writes, "It’s not just about avoiding skinned knees, but also the subtle and discouraging message that’s woven right into girls’ garments: you are dressed to decorate, not to do."

As well as the functionality of the clothing, we can consider the text on the clothes from the girls section vs the boys section. In the Irish Times' "It’s time to tackle gendered inspirational guff on children’s clothes," Deirdre Falvey writes about the content on the clothing. ->

"The more that clothes and toys emphasise gender difference, the more our shared humanity is undermined. And the more girls and boys learn to see each other as other. The more children are pushed to conform to gender stereotypes – even via the clothes they’re offered – the more they grow up to fulfil them.

"The messages from most of these clothes: Girls are sweet and flowery, good and kind. Boys are strong and adventurous, assertive and bold. See it, wear it, become it."

Throughout this post, we've seen that female abilities are undermined; female and male children are taught female value is in appearance; female children are taught to minimize, quiet themselves, and "put on a pretty face." Male children are taught the polar opposite. The difference is stark!

Male and female socialization is important to recognize because it explains and contextualizes stereotypes and gender roles. For example, I hear men point to how women (or they often say "females") are less likely to ask for a raise as proof of women's "weak nature" and to justify the wage gap (fyi I find conflicting information if this is actually a true fact lol, but I digress). Is this because female people are just naturally more submissive? are they just naturally less assertive? no, it's not natural, it's nurtured.

Furthermore, outside of this post, I primarily say "men"/"boys" and "women"/"girls" as opposed to "male people"/"male children" and "female people"/"female children," because to me, there is a lot to a woman, but not a lot that makes a woman a woman. Her biology did not betray her; it was weaponized against her. These children in the studies and articles above are not mistreated because of their gender identity, they are mistreated because of their sex.

Another reason recognizing male/female socialization is important is because once we recognize that these things do happen, we can mitigate the harm. From peer reviewed APA PsycNet's "Parents’ judgments of children’s gender-typed play indicate qualities of the early-life caregiving environment." ->

"Mothers who displayed androgynous and counterstereotyped preferences—primarily conveying approval different-gender-typed play—were rated higher on objective assessments of the quality of the home environment and parent–child interactions."

I'm not speaking for all radfems, but in my understanding, a large part of not considering trans women to be women is due to their socialization, and that a gender identity or sense of self can not undo years of male socialization starting from birth.

I hope this was reasonably coherent ! if you have questions and corrections lemme know :)

[magpod-confessions]

I actually dislike Basira, Melanie and Georgie

And they all had the same journey: we meet them - i adore them - the story goes on - they start blaming jon for every little thing - i am trying to be "dont be sexist, like them again!" - the treatment of jon gets worse, the level of hypocrisy gets worse - i actively dislike the parts of the episode the are in

Melanie was enjoyable at first, their arguing was fun to listen to, but oh did it get very unfair and annoyng. I dont like Tim for the same reason, on my last relisten i just skip his parts.

Is it internalised misogyny? Am i the hypocrite here? Because i like most of the male characters, but i also love Gertrude, Agnes, Sasha, Daisy and even Jude and Nicola. I like Gwen, Alica, Lena and Celia too.

Its just a bit unfair that the most fleshed out girl characters are in one "being close to jon but also hating him" category

For me, I can excuse murder of innocent people and bringing the apocalypse, but a draw a line at "being mean to jon"

.

[breakableprincess]

do you ever start talking with someone who has a certain kink and can feel yourself get worse extremely fast? anyways now I've got this fantasy that won't get out of my head

WARNING: hard kinks, including: Detrans/Misgendering (trans woman), Rape/Non-con, Transfem Superiority, (Trans Inclusive) Misogyny, Sadomasochism. DONT LIKE, DONT READ.

Being a really bitchy and entitled young trans woman who got to transition early and now passes with no problems and has a voice that everyone loves, sharing a locker space with an older trans woman who took hrt much later in life and whose voice still betrays her often

This older woman would always share looks at the other girls in the locker room when she thought she wasn't watched, and being like I was I'd always think badly of her for it, but also I couldn't help but notice she would watch me much more intensely than anyone else

One day when no one else was around and she had been staring even more than usual I would get fed up with it and confront her

"I know what you're doing!!! Stop it!!!" "Huh, what? What do you want?" "You've been staring at the other girls all this time and especially at me!!! Do you think you're slick? Do you think you're being a great person??? It's because of people like you that I dont-"

At this point she takes a step towards me, confronting me

"People like me huh?? Do you want to elaborate on that, princess?"

Her voice coarse but sweet yet condescending all at the same time, I know I am getting threatened and, not wanting to lose the battle without even trying to fight back, I bark back without thinking:

"You- you- you're acting just like some sort of man with tits!"

Ah fuck. As soon as I say that I raise my hands to my mouth in shock. I can't believe I said something so hurtful, no matter how creepy she'd been towards me and the other girls

She looks flabbergasted but takes another step towards me, locking me between herself and the wall behind me

"Oh hoho? Is that what you really think of me, huh?"

She says, grabbing me by my shirt before slamming me violently to the wall behind me

"I-i-i'm so sorry!!! I really didn't mean to i-"

"Oh no sweetheart, I don't think you fully understand your position here. You have to shut the fuck up."

Her frame much larger than mine, towering over me, making me feel small and useless

"You think you've got it all figured out don't you? You think you can escape the hate of the world just by blending in and acting like a precious little girl, don't you??? Well don't think you can escape me. I know what you are, what you truly are."

She shoves me to the ground in one swift motion

"You are a pathetic,"

She kicks me

"disgusting,"

She bends down to grab me again and puts me on all fours

"freak!"

She lowers my skirt

"Someone who would throw away all the love for your community,"

And my panties

"just so you get to feel like a member of society at large!"

She grabs a nice feel of my ass

"And since you want to act like some sort of cissy girl,"

She removes her pants and I can feel her cock near my entrance

"I'll show you what 'men with tits' do to transphobic cissies like you."

I take a deep breath, resigned to what's about to happen. Maybe like this I will learn respect one day...

[limeade-l3sbian]

That anon you got about straight women liking m/m content while ignoring m/f or f/f pairings... Where to even start...

First of all, I'm a straight woman who doesn't like yaoi/slash/bl/whatever it's called now and never have so I see where you're going. But I understand why so many women prefer m/m overall.

Many women say they enjoy m/m content because it's devoid of gender roles and misogyny. I understand this. I've consumed straight romance (sometimes against my will) and there's so much bullshit in it like I'm sorry. My sister asked me to watch this period drama with her and literally pretty much every pairing starts with the man being sexist or rude in some way to the woman. And they literally bicker most of the time but it's supposed to be "sexual tension" or whatever until at some point they kiss and I guess everything is forgiven. Yay? I don't know what's exciting or good about any of this. This drama somehow managed to make 1800s europe devoid of racism but not sexism, so pretty much every male love interest is sexist in some way. I don't get why women don't write more romance where the males are actually respectful of their gender as a whole. Or perhaps I do and here's comes my other point: many women cannot conceptualize a world where men are actually women-loving.

Seriously, have you ever seen the weird trend of refering to fictional male characters that are actually loving and respectful towards their gfs as male lesbians, or their het relationship "lesbian-coded"? When I was younger, it used to piss me off when women would say they didnt write or draw m/f pairings because they didnt want to deal with sexism and gender roles, I was like "then write a world where men and women are seen as equals!!" But then I started writing myself and it's incredible how fake it will appear to write a male character respectful and loving of his gf AND her gender as a whole. Now I write and draw for myself so I do whatever I want no matter how silly or fake it is, but I would never publish any of that because I don't wanna deal with people telling me "men really don't act this way, you dont know how to write male characters :/" or "Oh I love the male love interest, he's such a malewife!!".

And yes, many gay male romance has them dealing with homophobia, but that's basically them against society/the world. You can tell they are still in it together, and they will choose each other any time even if that means getting ostracized by everyone. With het pairing and sexism is more like man against woman. She has to deal and fight for this man to see her (and perhaps her gender) as capable and worthy of respect so they can have a better relationship. It doesn't seem like they're in it together and the woman has to put all the effort so her man can see the error of his ways.

Why do you think there are many people who joke about how a male character seems to have more chemistry and rapport with another male character (usually a friend or mentor) than his supposed female love interest? Because they're written as equals with interesting traits and a relationship that surpasses many trials, while the female love interest is written as "the woman" - writers will avoid giving female characters interesting traits because they dont think they look good on female characters or believe women dont or shoudnt act a certain way. And believe me, i'm saying this as a woman that's very attracted to female characters - the majority of shows and movies I consume have (a) female main protagonist(s) and I prefer shows that have a bigger female cast. I also get attached to female characters even if they're "badly written" or whatever the fandom says idgf. Ive even watched a lot of those animes and manga that only have female characters, because I have a preference for women in fiction (and real life I guess)

The f/f stuff is another whole issue that it's not very related to this. Most women producing m/m content are straight so they will want to see at least one male in their pairing. F/f can't provide that for obvious reasons. This is like asking straight guys why they don't consume gay male porn if they like lesbian porn so much. It literally makes no sense. These men give the answer of why they like lesbian porn usually as "one woman is hot, two women is DOUBLE the hotness". Think about it like that with women; now they have two men to ogle at.

I had much more to write, specifically about the sexual part (since fanfiction is usually very romance/sex centered) and m/m vs m/f and f/f, but this got too long. Perhaps i'll write a second part.

.

[bunnywan]

what’s the a/b/o to misogyny pipeline???

(i want to start by saying i dont think all a/b/o is misogynistic. i don't think most of it is written with misogynistic intent, either.)

also: ive written an abo fic. right after i wrote though i started getting exposed to the misogyny thing by my obikin writer friends and (despite my fic being alpha/alpha and avoiding what i think the most glaring issues are), ive contemplated deleting it, but these same friends have talked me off it. im going to try to rewrite some parts in the future tho, since there are parts that i look back and wince at. but, im growing and learning everyday, like everyone else. well. maybe not everyone lol.

in omegaverse there is a submissive biological class. hopefully i dont have to explain to you that in omegaverse, omegas (the submissive biological class) are "woman coded" (for lack of a better way to put it ig), and alphas are "man coded." heres some of the most common omegan "traits" that are pretty much universally accepted: able to bear children, self lubricating hole, heat (time of the month, anyone?), emotional neediness, physical weakness (compared to alphas), desire to please alphas, instinct to obey alphas. heres some of the most common alpha "traits": ability to breed omegas, stronger than omegas, dominant personalities, instincts to protect omegas, sometimes uncontrollable sexual urges when exposed to an omega.

so we're already in misogynistic stereotype territory. dystopian, even. "wouldnt it be great if women omegas literally were wired to submit to men alphas!" its gender roles with biological backing.

a common trope in omegaverse fics is omegas "thinking" they "dont want it" (to be a stereotypical omega/listen to alphas/have sex with alphas), and then hey! in some cases, the right alpha comes along and the omega learns that they were wrong all along and submitting to being a baby making hole that likes to be ordered around is actually wonderful! (like when you tell someone you dont really want to have kids and they say "youll change your mind", because what else are you gonna do with your life? youre a baby making hole.) in other cases: an omega might not figure out their purpose until mid rape -- and their tiny omega brain and helpless body cannot resist giving in and enjoying their own sexual assault because that's what their body is for (getting fucked by an alpha).

you see how this is fucking weird? sit back and think about the term "bitching" for a minute and decide if you think thats patriarchal or not.

again, i don't think every a/b/o fic and author is misogynistic, but the world itself it built on misogyny so ... its hard to separate it completely. and its a very convenient avenue for projection by authors, whether it be intentional or not.

this was just what came out of my brain in one sitting, but i think its gets the baseline of the point across. feel free to message me or send another ask if you wanna talk about it more!

[nerves-nebula]

i feel sooo sick haha like. what words am i allowed to use for my oppression as a trans masculine person, genuinely. how am i supposed to express the intersection of the systemic misogyny i face with my transness cuz despite it being an intersection of transphobia and misogyny we can't really use transmisogyny (which is reasonable. Like, i get it, that'd be confusing and that term wasn't made with us in mind) but like. where IS the term made with us in mind? where's one that hasn't been run into the ground by people who take it in bad faith?

where's the terms and theories made by us about our place in and outside the gender binary and how we're a threat to it that society hates, where's those theories that are taken seriously by other trans people! and if they exist outside of a few rambling tumblr blogs then why haven't i seen them.

every time i see a term coined to address my specific set of intersections people absolutely HATE it because they hate the idea that anything even vaguely masculine could be the point of oppression. i'm not even a man, i've got no affiliation with men, i've got tits and a beard. people call me she and her every day. there is like bare bones nothing for me.

every day i see people insist over and over that terfs and transphobes don't target us, that they never targeted butches, that because in some places girls can have short hair we're prolly just fine. as if terfs and transphobes don't use "mutilated little girls" as a talk point and see us as traitors and try to correctively rape us- as if they don't want us as dead as everyone else just because you don't pay attention when they say they do.

andd like. nobody gives a shit??? about us?? ever??? about our rates of rape and suicide?? about our reproductive rights?? we are almost always an afterthought and our terminology is ridiculed mercilessly or we're called "afabs" and told we're trying to talk over transfeminine experiences even when we're actively trying to point out the similarities between different kinds of trans peoples lives! i see myself in you and you can't see me as anything but an annoying "afab" whining hysterically??!!!! how is that not misogyny??? cuz i've got a beard????

AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW WHITE PEOPLE FACTOR INTO THIS.

and i go on here and see all these posts that are trying to be progressive about shit but do it by separating us into afab and amab and insisting that our experiences are just SO DIFFERENT. its miserable. i am miserable. it's so isolating.

[dwtdog]

im really really stressed about how it will go,

i dont i just, support system wise i have almost nothing

these guys are kinda it and one person whos neutral

its just the aftermath, i dont know if everything will be okay and i get so stressed about it

my tummy issues been fucking me up man

anon :( i'll do my best to give u some general advice, but if u need anything please don't be afraid to dm me <3

the thing that really helps me through these type of situations is sitting with myself and thinking okay, what's the most likely thing that's going to happen, and how am i going to feel about that.

to start with what i think will be the outcome, the only things we know for certain that are going to happen are caiti's final statement/stream, and george's final statement.

based on what caiti has said, her final stream is going to be more general, and i assume she's going to discuss the problems with misogyny within the mcyt space, or something similar, along with the future of her content. i do not think she will say anything more directly about the situation, and if she does i don't think it will be new information, except to maybe clear up the story ghostie told

for george's statement, judging by what the rational sides of the internet are calling for and his most recent tweet, i think he is going to give a sincere apology, no matter what form that may come in, along with some sort of private, personal apology to caiti that we may never see. some people will accept what he has to say, and others will continue to call him terrible names that do not fit the situation at all. and from there, we move onward (press w :3)

i can't predict how you're going to react to these events happening, but if a look at myself, i know that i'll probably watch caiti's stream as a vod, so i can give myself time to pause and take breaks. i want to try to watch the stream before seeing others input, so i can form my own opinions without going in feeling overly negative/positive.

worse case scenario- she says something that completely puts me off the space as a whole. i don't know what that would be, maybe just some observations she's made as a female creator in the space that puts a bad taste in my mouth, and i no longer feel comfortable being here at all. in that case, i disengage completely, or let myself sit and think on it for a bit before coming to a final decision

best case scenario (realistically)- caiti does her stream, and she talks about many of the things we already know about as problems with the space, and we take that as closure from the whole thing, and send our love and support.

when george's response comes, rinse and repeat. take the time to read/watch through it without the influence of others, and come to you own conclusion before looking what anyone else has to say. do not look at twitter. if you feel that his response is satisfying to you- however that may be- than assess how active you wish to be in the community going forward, what you want to spend your time doing online. and then we heal together, as a community.

and eventually, things will get better. dream and george might take hiatuses, but i find it very, very unlikely they'll quit entirely. eventually, we'll get titan videos and the plethora of shorts and content that dream has planned, even if a wrench has been thrown into the plans

obviously, we can never predict unexpected elements, but i genuinely believe that if something big were going to drop, it would have already. don't let the behind the scenes bullshit get you down, because it always comes from ccs who either hold grudges or are trying to save their own skin/get views

hope this helps at least a little bit, but please, please reach out if you need anything. no matter the responses caiti and george give, i'll stick around to talk to u guys