#dont come for me these are my onions

[xagave]

Interesting, what's your take on the difference between redrom and human romance?

Honestly the difference is that trolls have quadrants and humans don't. When humans enter a relationship that's kinda just… it. To me, it's bland and boring. I really like exploring emotions and the strictly ❤️ feelings of human romance essentially feel like a dead end. For humans, any negative emotion is generally something to be Fixed or Worked On or a Compromise needs to be met and if not the relationship ends. In troll romance, those feelings mean ur in for some fun potential vacillation 😩 (And maybe requires the help of a ♦️ and/or ♣️ 👀) For trolls, the emotions that create ♠️ and ❤️ relationships are so intertwined (because they come from the same source) that vacillating is pretty common and it's a reason why ♣️ are so important. You cannot have a ♠️ relationship based purely on hate because the positive qualities of a troll are the driving force for another troll's hate towards them -- it would be so easy to be in a ❤️ relationship with this troll if they weren't such an ANNOYING, INFURIATING BASTARD. And the fact that they still manage to have redeemable qualities despite how much they SUCK makes you HATE THEM MORE. There are perpetually ❤️ feelings dwelling deep beneath the surface of a ♠️ relationship and the opposite is the same for ❤️ relationships and it's why it's SO easy to vacillate and why it's so interesting. You pity and emphasize with this troll and love their positive qualities (❤️) but some part of their personality stinks like hot garbage in the sweltering summer sun and if those feelings get intense enough then BAM it's vacillating time. And some trolls can vacillate over and over and over again. So for me personally, troll ❤️ romance is a lot more fun and interesting specifically because of how much more nuanced the emotions that play into their relationships are even though troll romance is generally just one big dumpsterfire mess all the time lol

[coyoxxtl]

idk if goth existed as a literature and film genre before it was a music subculture (that was heavily influenced by said literature and films) then maybe goth is more than a music subculture

[druidgroves]

tbh rook doesn't have as much of a pull as I expected them to. like with the warden & the inquisitor, it's made clear that they are the only ones who can do this job due to circumstance. hawke is pushed into the role of champion just as much. rook feels like they could be literally anyone else because they don't really have a personal vested interest in their position. the warden is well aware they and alistair are the last ferelden wardens and due to their origin & ostagar, they have something beyond The Fate of The World to care about. for hawke the fate of kirkwall is much smaller than The World, but it's sufficient enough purpose for hawke to fight for the place they & their family have made their new home. it's smaller. for the inquisitor, their personal tie is the anchor and what to do with it--if they didn't care about the breach, they at least cared enough to get the anchor removed because that effected them directly.

rook just....doesn't feel like they have anything but The Fate of The World holding them to the veilguard. they have their faction and a romance option but like. not really? them wanting to Save The World is noble but what else are they interested in saving for purely selfish reasons? unless you play as a shadow dragon or a crow, the option between minrathous and treviso falls way more flat (i played mourn watch so my rook wasn't as personally invested though she did care). idk how to really express this but their only goal being the noble option and really nothing else is kinda.....boring. they have a lot of potential to be interesting but how the game presents them is just. kinda boring.

[tenspontaneite]

Bruh people aren't fucking lying about COVID fatigue goddamn

[sleep-nurse]

Hullo Fren!! I'm so sorry it's super stereotypical, but what are in your opinion the most underrated and overrated pizza toppings?? (For me Assorted Veggies are the underrated one because they are so good, and extra cheese is overrated, because my tum can barely handle the regular amount of cheese hahah)

OK SO BASING IT OFF YOUR CHOICES i think assorted veggies are really good, though of course it depends on what veggies you put on the pizza HJKSDGHJKEHJKHEG

as for extra cheese? NEVER. I HATE IT WITH ALL MY LIFE

[comput3rage]

Anybody else feel like every movie and tv show that's come out for the past like 2 years has felt kind of unfinished

[fangomango]

Maybe it's just me who thinks its weird because I've yet to see anyone say anything about it but like..

Our Minor League Baseball team here for our city...every so often changes its name to "Honey butter chicken biscuit"

Yknow the food you buy at Whataburger

And maybe it makes sense for our city as we're the birthplace of that bright ol' fast food chain (I forgot about that ngl) but like...

It's weird right?

Like does... Baldwin Park, California have an In and Out baseball team? (That's where In and Out was founded)

Is it just texas

I mean its probably just a thing they were paid to do but I still find it weird

[neonacidtrip]

[text ID: Black image with purple text showing the tags from Tumblr user lyriumrain. The tags read as follows: #i’ve been thinking a lot about how you really can just tell whatever story you want #there are components that your story *can* include if you want to #but you don’t have to #there’s a billion trillion stories out there #might as well tell the one you want to tell how you want to tell it. End ID]

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

[eudico-my-beloved]

I fucking hate my culinary class table group soooo bad i should be allowed to hit them with carrots i think

[the-name-is-loser]

Me, watching a fan made final trailer for the owl house, through the first half:

When the leitmotif of the owl house ending plays:

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! A few weeks ago i caught wind of "Delicious in Dungeon". I'm not really an anime person, but I am a TTRPG, CRPG, and cooking person- . And holy shit. It is so good i  convinced my partner to binge read the whole thing. I'm caught up on dungeon meshi, the anime, and just yesterday i also finished dungeon meshi, the manga.

Its rare to come across a serialized story that is so thematically cohesive and knows its characters so well. All of the bonus content like the artbooks and monster tidbits are just the icing on top.

So, inspired by Ryōko Kui's writing and illustration I'm going to attempt to create a recipe for every single Delicious in Dungeon recipe!-

Today that means Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot is on the menu!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot?” YOU MIGHT ASKThis is one of the pricier dishes until we get to the kelpies and dragons of the menu-

Rock lobster tail

Porcini mushrooms

Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus

Small potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water

OPTIONAL: your choice of dipping sauces

There was a crossover/promotional event in Shibuya which featured various realworld dishes from the series. They had one for Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom, but they used prawns.  while those cook better in a hotpot, they also didn't look enough like the scorpion for me, they also used udon noodles for the slime and a seaweed/kale(?) mixture for the algae. If you're looking for substitutes due to price or availability i would start with those ingredients.

AND, “what does a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKI hope Senshi would forgive me for technically cooking the lobster outside the pot, once he tastes it.

Okay im always partial to veggies but wowowowowowowoowowowow the snow fungus and the mushrooms tasted soooooooooooo good in the lobster stock

A nice delicate layering of different flavors

Try to get a bite with the lobster meat and shiitake together, dip in butter then chili- trust me

Its up to you what texture you prefer if you want to put the noodles in at the end or put them in halfway through the meal. Either way dont go for eating those first as theyre very filling

I think this would pair well with a citrus drink, something light and clarifying

This would also pair well with being extremely high and hungry (if you feel safe cooking while inebriated lol) very calorically dense

For the trial run I did one lobster tail in the pot with everything else, and one lobster tail off to the side to be picked apart. The former is more in spirit with a hotpot, but it got rubbery as the meal went on and lost its nice taste. The latter may be a bit more work but all you have to do still is boil it and set it aside. I found it held up much better. It was also easier to get inside the shell.

. If you have hardshell maine lobster available, i think it would be superior to rock lobster (keep in mind crustaceans will get rubbery if cooked too long in the pot) . Green onions and/or lotus root would make excellent additions

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From getting the ingredients out to sitting down and eating, id say it took maybe 30 minutes max? It'd vary on how fast you can prep vegetables and get the various implements heated.

Hotpots are not something i do very often as i'm usually just feeding myself. I think thats why a hotpot makes perfect sense to start the series off. If you want to set the tone of "take care of yourself, eat food with others, and use what you have" (generally speaking) there is nothing more simplistic, flexible, and defeats-the-purpose-if-you-eat-it-alone than a hotpot. Gather around and let your friends bring ingredients to the pot if you want to fill your heart up extra full <3

I'm doing something different here because unlike previous recipes where i used a bunch of different sources and made my own recipe out of hodge-podging it, or just used another persons recipe entirely if they did it really well, i made this more whole-cloth based off of what i had available, what I could discover through research, and my existing knowledge. Instead of the recipe being 50/50 original, this one is more 20/80. So. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys :D 

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do different, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

2 Rock lobster tails

3 Porcini mushrooms

2 Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus (a good handful, should rehydrate in the hotpot)

2 Small waxy potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water/lobster stock

Method:

Lightly rinse all of your vegetables beforehand and let them dry.

Vertically slice the porcini mushrooms. Cut off and dice the stems of the shiitake mushrooms. You can slice the tops if youd like.

Peel and cube the potatoes, roughly an inch each.

For the lobster tails; Boil a pot of salted water. Keep the shell on. Weigh the largest tail and add 1 minute of cooking time for every ounce of weight.

When done, strain the lobster from the water. Pour the water into your hotpot as the base. Serve the lobster on the side so people can pick the meat out to dip into the hotpot.

Bring the hotpot to a simmer. Add the potato cubes, snow fungus, mushrooms, and noodles.

OPTIONAL: this wasnt in the show, but its fun having sauces on the side :) i had oyster sauce, dry seasoned chili dip, melted butter, and soy sauce available

[sturnsmadl]

dealer!chris headcannons!

dealer!chris who always discounts way too much for you.

"its on me."

"what? this is like 50 bucks worth.."

dealer!chris who makes sex jokes to you all the time.

"what? keep arguing and i'll put that mouth to better use."

"i'll bend you over that table if u don't shutup."

dealer!chris who refuses to give you any hard drugs.

"u got coke?"

"u got a brain? not happening."

dealer!chris who always comes over after deals.

dealer!chris who is possessive but unloyal.

"your mine. don't let anyone think different."

"you fucked another girl last night."

dealer!chris who your arguing with 24/7.

"and you just act like im nothing after your done!"

"when did i say you were nothing to me?!"

"you dont need to fucking say it!"

dealer!chris who expects you to stay single and wait for him.

dealer!chris who is clingy when he's drunk or high.

"hi baby! i missed you!!"

"chris move you stink."

dealer!chris who goes for any guy who tries to get you.

"you tryna hit on my girl?!"

"i-"

"chris leave him alone.."

dealer!chris who hurts anyone who hurts you.

dealer!chris who doesn't let you work.

"and i've got an interview-"

"cancel it."

dealer!chris who comes over late at night to fuck.

"you up?"

"i am now you were hitting my window."

dealer!chris who is always rough.

"take it. good girl. so tight for me."

"chris! too much- too much!"

dealer!chris who never uses protection.

"gonna fill you with my babies huh? go on let go."

dealer!chris who has dissapeared when u wake up the morning after.

dealer!chris who would rather die then bring you to a deal.

"ill drop u home first."

"just take me with u.."

"your funny sweetie."

dealer!chris who doesn't let you go overboard with your orders.

"can i have a few grams of-"

"a gram per day for you unfortunately princess."

"what? since when?"

dealer!chris who watches you like a hawk at party's.

dealer!chris who looks after you while your drunk.

"yep..good girl just- get it out of you.."

dealer!chris who ends up staying loyal just for you.

"what? i blocked them all."

"shutup..ur serious..?"

dealer!chris who finds out your pregnant before you do.

"look at your cute bump."

"what? im not pregnant.."

"morning sickness? cravings? tiredness?"

"oh shit.."

dealer!chris who does all his research for you.

"it says..you've got an hour to live."

"what??"

"im messing with u."

dealer!chris who is trying to get out of dealing for you and the baby.

dealer!chris who doesn't let you do too much.

"nuh uh. pass me that, its heavy."

dealer!chris who refuses to let the doctors stress you out at birth.

dealer!chris who only ever cried infront of you when you gave birth to his baby.

"oh my god..im so proud of you. she's beautiful."

"are you okay..?"

"yeah..the onions from the cafeteria.."

"sure buddy.."

"wow..im a dad.."

dealer!chris who will not let anything happen to his family.

a/n: not sure how i feel abt this but i need to start writing my new series :)

taglist! @bellaonthelow @muchloveforhacker @moonk1ss3d @sturnclouds @christophersgf @ellizzyy @fratbrochrisgf @phoenix062 @pixxiies @conspiracy-ash @blahbel668 @monroesturnns @gwennybenny @sturnobsessedwh0re @xoxo4chriss @pixie-sticks-are-good @wurlibydominicfike @anitahunt @ilusa @sturniolo-fann @ncm9696

[maaaxx]

I think it's important to remember that not only is it important to tag things with 'unreality' (or something similar) for people who struggle with delusions and paranoia, but also people (and by people i mean myself) who are way too gullible for the internet.

[jinwoosbabyboo]

“Speaking Up For You”

How I imagine the LADS Men would speak up for you if you didn’t feel like doing it

Zayne

MC: Damn it

Zayne: What is it

MC: They brought me gnocchi soup instead of baked potatoe soup

Zayne: It’s a simple mistake just send it back

MC: I feel bad

Zayne: If that’s not what you want then it should be corrected

MC: but-

Zayne: Excuse me

MC: Zayne stop

Zayne: She asked for the potatoe soup and was given gnocchi soup instead

Waitress: Oh I’m so sorry I’ll get that taken care of

MC: Thank you

Zayne: A simple solution to a simple problem

Rafayel

MC: Damn it

Rafayel: What?

MC: They put raw onions instead of sautéed

Rafayel: WAITER

MC: It’s fine stop

Rafayel: HEY SHE DONT LIKE RAW ONIONS!!

MC: Rafayel stop have some decorum

Rafayel: SHE DONT WANT THIS!!

MC: I already took a bite

Waitress: I’m so sorry I’ll have them remake this

Rafayel: Appreciate it … see that was easy

MC: you are so embarrassing

Rafayel: I love you too

Xavier

MC: Oh shit

Xavier: what’s wrong?

MC: They gave me a raspberry pastry instead of apple

Xavier: That’s no good wait here

MC: Where are you going?

Xavier: To fix the problem

Xavier comes back with a pastry in every flavor

MC: You didn’t have to buy every flavor

Xavier: I didnt

MC: ??

Xavier: They were free

MC: *Glances and sees a terrified shop owner* what did you say to that guy?

Xavier: Nothing important let’s go

Sylus

MC: *Sigh*

Sylus: What is it

MC: They sent me the wrong size ice skates these are way too big

Sylus: Let’s go get them switched out

MC: I feel bad I don’t want to be that person

Sylus: I’ll take care of it then

Next Morning…

MC: Why is our bedroom full of gifts

Sylus: The shop owner was feeling …. generous

MC: You threatened him didn’t you

Sylus: Contrary to popular belief I’m not as quick to violence as you may think

MC: So how did you get all this

Sylus: My name holds a lot of weight around here

MC: Ah yes I almost forgot you’re the King of the N109 Zone

Sylus: I know you’re being a smartass kitten … Enjoy the gifts

This is the best I could do to find the artist @/zs_hetao on Danbooru

[victorianbatman]

ATLA/LOK incorrect quotes

F, M & GN reader | every scenario without the readers gender being specified is Gender Neutral.

Bolin, on the phone with Mako: Mako, I need you to come pick me up.

Mako: Why?

Bolin: Y/n is busy passive-aggressively doing the dishes they asked me to do 6 hours ago.

Bolin: This house is not safe anymore.

-

Mako: Hey, whats for dinner?

Bolin: I cant tell you, its a soup-rise.

Mako: Is it soup?

Y/n: We soup-ose is could be.

Mako: Enough with the soup puns you two.

Bolin: Aww, you never soup-port our jokes.

[Five minutes later]

Mako: It was fucking tacos.

-

Mako: The stars look really pretty tonight.

Y/n: Yeah, they do.

Mako: You know who else looks pretty tonight?

Y/n: Asami.

Mako, at the same time: Korra.

Y/n: What?

Mako: What?

-

Toph: Do you do anything other than whine like a little bitch?

Y/n: Sometimes I whine like a BIG bitch.

-

Mako, not looking up from his book: What did she(Kuvira) do now?

Y/n: SHE SMILED!

Mako: At you?

Y/n: No, at her dumb friends, but she looks like an angel.

Mako: Go away, Y/n.

Y/n: Shut up, I watched you pine after Korra while in a relationship with Asami.

Mako: Go on.

-

Korra: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Lin: That’s not how you make cookies.

Y/n: FLOOR IT!

Bolin: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?

Lin: yOURE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!!

Korra: IM GONNA HARVEST THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!!

Y/n&Bolin: DO IT!

Lin: NO-

-

Korra: I’m small, but knowing.

Tall!Y/n: You dont be knowing what the top of a shelf looks like though.

Korra: …

Tall!Y/n: …

Korra: Bitch.

-

Bolin and Mako watching Y/n from a distance chase a squirrel.

Bolin: Thats the person I see myself married to in the future.

Bolin: Thoughts?

Mako: …

Bolin: …

Mako: ..and prayers, bro.

-

Y/n: My autistic friend(book 1 zuko) is my favourite person on the planet. I asked if he would still be friends with me if I got a mullet and without looking up he said “we are not friends” like ok bestie.

-

Korra: Theres only one thing worse than losing.

[Tips over paper saying ‘losing Y/n’]

Y/n: Me.

Korra: No-

-

Y/n: Are you sure you’re ok?

Zuko, crying: Yeah, it’s just these onions, man.

Y/n: …

Zuko: …

Y/n: Those are potatoes.

-

[Asami, puts on chapstick]

Y/n: What flavour is that?

Asami: oh its [chapstick flavour].

Y/n: Lemme taste.

Asami: Sure.

[hands chapstick]

Y/n, kisses Asami

Y/n: Shit it does actually taste like [Chapstick flavour].

[Asami blushing like crazy]

-

Y/n: Aang, why do good people die young?

Aang: When you are in a garden full of flowers, which one do you pick?

Y/n: The ugly ones.

Aang: Exactly- wait wait what, why?

Y/n: Because ugly bitches dont belong in my garden.

-

Toph: Hi, im your doctor today, I’ll be drawing your blood as soon as I’m done with my capri sun.

[Misses the hole four times before finally getting the straw in]

[Y/n, sweats profusely]

-

Sokka: I have the sharpest memory, name one time I forgot something.

Y/n: You forgot me and Suki back in the fire nation 3 weeks ago.

Sokka: I did that on purpose, try again.

-

Y/n: Listen to me, love is a scam.

Bolin: You’re making a valentines card for Mako right now.

Y/n, points glue gun at him: You’re on thin fuckin ice.

-

Zuko: Whats with the napkin on the glass door?

Y/n: Aang keeps walking into the glass door, so I thought this might help.

Aang: Oh cool, a floating napkin!

[Walks into glass door]

[cowvboyenema]

formerlyasprite i honestly would have preferred a brief moment of being corn on the cob but alas i was stuck a floating orb full of computer logs. i think some sort of spider wouldve been cool. you kinda get a little of whatevers put into you if youre fully conscious so im assuming instead of feathers and wings id have gotten venom and extra limbs maybe? hm actually i take it back im happy with the amount of limbs i got. my friend combined her corpse with a god dog and it was depressing as fuck. i also found out that when two sprites touch each other they become squared and become like.. one being? like their two consciousness are in the dead together but they generally reply as one person

you know this shit runs on infinite universes right?

ive been bitching about it forever, but theres a version of us who do everything because, like, infinite

my beef is with whichever dave ended up mpreging vegeta and shit, but honestly theres a corn dayv out there somewhere and if he shows his sorry face around here ill kick his ass popped for you bro

it could have also given you some very inconvenient body hair at a delicate time of hormonal growth

never discount spider puberty

honestly ive never heard of anything worse than the concept of sharing a head with somebody else, even if they could figure out how to make our brains work

you guys really dont talk that much on here, huh