#dont ask how it's possible idk time travel

[httpiastri]

control freak – ln4

lando hates a lot of things. not being in control is definitely one of them.

genre: smut

pairing: female reader x lando norris

warnings: smut ���� i dont remember what it's called? but lando gets tied up. he likes to be in control, so i guess dom!lando is kinda insinuated. it's a bit dirtyyy but there are also some soft elements bcs who would i be to not include those :)

requested?: yes! thank you for requesting 🤍 (requests are still open!)

author's note: this was supposed to be just a blurb but something happened lol. also, very much inspired by this ask and the just him talking about how he needs to be in control in that video. this thought has been living in my mind rent-free since that moment. hope u all enjoyyyy<3<3 (if this doesn’t work this time. idk what to do. anyways.)

f1 masterlist

18+ content below, minors dni!

–

"there we go..." you say, leaning back slightly and letting go of lando's wrist. "you alright?"

"my hands, yes. my ego, however..."

earlier this year, you and lando had agreed to buy one of those adult christmas calendars, one with a new toy or tool for the bedroom every day. so far, you'd gotten a blindfold, a massaging oil, and even a smaller vibrator. and today's present? a pair of sleek, white silk ribbons.

lando had immediately pulled the little strings out of the box, measuring them around your wrists. but you had shook your head, snatching them out of his hands and telling him it was his turn.

he had just cocked an eyebrow at you, assuming you were kidding. but the grin you had worn, one that told him that you were fully serious, had made him chuckle, rolling his eyes. no way, he'd told you, giving you a pat on the head before he leaned down against his pillow again. he had assumed this would be a lost cause for you, because there was no way he was letting you expose him to one of the things he hates.

lando hates a lot of things. number one: he hates not being in control, and he hates it so much.

the fact that he needs to be in control is very well-known in your relationship, and it applies to most situations. he needs to be the one driving, even if you're just going on a short trip to the supermarket; he needs to know who's invited to a dinner party so he can plan ahead; and of course, he feels a need for power in the bedroom.

but you are nothing if not persistent. lando is the very definition of stubborn, sure, but you would not give up on this one.

your boyfriend always thought you must be some kind of witch, because your effect on him is paranormal. the way you bat your eyes at him, your soft touch on his cheek, and your sweet kisses lingering on his lips – they could get him to agree to almost anything. even this, apparently.

since today was a friday, you had gone out for dinner and some drinks tonight before hurrying back home to try out your new present. lando was still a bit hesitant, but your lips pressed against his and your hips brushing his crotch as you sat on his lap on your bed made him give up yet again.

and that's how you find yourselves here, him already stripped out of everything except his boxers, with the sleek white ropes connecting him to the headboard. you twirl the fabric by his right wrist around your finger one final time, smiling at the little bows you've made. "you look so pretty right now," you hum, leaning down a little and tracing a finger along his jaw. "kinda wanna take a picture."

"do it."

you shake your head, not wanting to bring out your phone and possibly ruin the moment. you smile at the firmness in his voice, pressing a quick peck to his lips. "next time."

lando's chest vibrates with his chuckle. "oh, you think there will be a next time?"

"i know there will, because i'm in charge here."

the retort he was planning gets caught in his throat as your lips meet the side of his neck. he sighs at the feeling of your kisses traveling down to his chest, tongue coming out to lick the skin occasionally. he instinctively tries to grab your hips with his hands, momentarily forgetting about his restraints and letting out an annoyed groan when he's held back. you giggle against him when you hear the ropes snap against the headboard.

"already?" you ask, hands dragging up and down his beautifully tanned skin as your kisses trail even further, meeting the skin of his hipbones, giving both sides equal attention.

you can see how he clenches his fists from the corner of your eyes, knuckles already turning a little white. "i hate this. i really hate this," he mumbles.

"but you like me, don't you?" you counter, sitting back on your heels between his legs and letting your hands find the waistband of his boxers. "let me have my fun."

"great to know one of us is having fun, i guess." you take your time pulling down his underwear, enjoying every second of watching his impatience. when he's finally fully naked, his cock springs up to his stomach, a little precum leaking from him already.

"lando," you start, your thumb rubbing around the tip before spreading the precum along him. "don't you trust me?" you lower yourself down to press a kiss to his tip. "do you really think i won't make sure you enjoy this, too?"

his answer comes in the form of a shaky exhale, his eyes fluttering shut when he feels your tongue lick up a stripe along the side of his dick.

"i thought so."

your lips wrap around him, pushing yourself down his length before moving back up again. you're excruciatingly slow, wet lips sliding along his skin and only taking a little of him as your tongue swirls around him just once.

number two: lando hates being teased.

it's something he avoids at all costs, which you learned early in your relationship. he'll give you a stern look and push your hand away when you reach for his thigh during a company dinner; he'll grab your hips to hold you still when you intentionally grind onto him as you sit in his lap; and when you text him revealing pictures when he's away doing something important, he'll turn off his phone rather than let it get to him. it all comes back to his hatred of not being in control – he wants to be the one to tease you, not the other way around. so when you get a chance to tease him and he can't do anything about it, you take it.

speeding up your actions is not something you even consider, and now that lando's hands aren't in your hair to usher you, you take your time. you do, however, push him further into you, letting him hit the back of your throat before pulling entirely off him. when you sink down on him again, he buckles his hips: his way of trying to retake control. your hands find his sides, holding him down as you slide off him, leaning back to look at him as a grin spreads across your lips. "impatient, are we?"

his eyes are scrunched up, head thrown back to show off his thick neck. his muscular chest is heaving for air, already, and his hands are still hanging sloppily from the ropes. you love to see him like this. so weak, so helpless. it's not often that you get to take in this sight, so you savor every second of it.

when he feels the bed rock, lando's eyes shoot open. he watches you climb up from the bed, standing right next to it as you slowly let the sleeves of your dress fall down your shoulders. he does not enjoy the moment as much as he wishes he would, because all he can think of is how much he wishes he was the one sliding the dress down your body; how much he wishes he was the one unclasping your bra; how much he wishes it was his hands dragging your soaked panties to the floor.

you move to straddle his lap, your hips hovering over his as you let his tip nudge your entrance. when you finally descend on him, he bottoms you out so perfectly. you press your hands to his chest, leaning your weight on him as you feel yourself getting stretched out.

if lando thought you were done with the teasing, he was very wrong. you rise from him painfully slowly, before going down just as slowly. when your hips meet his again, you stop for yet another moment, rolling down on him.

number three: lando hates not being able to control the pace.

he's used to driving cars at 300 km/h, for god's sake, so this slow motion-pace you're going at is not ideal for him. he doesn't always need to thrust in and out of you like you only have a minute left to live but regulating the pace is, according to him, one of the perks of being the boyfriend. but not today.

you find a rhythm, bouncing on him like you are in no hurry whatsoever. your lover's moans are muffled and he's seemingly doing his best to not let anything slip out. he doesn't want you to know how much he likes this, despite not being in control.

"don't hold back, baby," you say, thumbs stroking his skin encouragingly. "you're allowed to feel good even when i'm in charge."

and when he finally lets go, the sounds he makes are like music to your ears. his hearty groans send a shiver down your spine and you can't help but pick up the pace a little, needing to hear more. you want to pull every sound and twitch out of him, and if that means going faster, it's a change you're willing to make.

you feel the shudder passing through his body when you clench around him. you know he's close when his heels dig into the mattress and he thrusts into you, trying to make up for lost time. you're almost there, too, and the way you feel all of him pump into you turns your brain into mush.

your nails dig into his chest when you reach your climax, likely leaving indents in his skin. you continue riding him, helping him chase his high, your pulsating insides helping draw it out instantly. when you feel the spurts shooting into you, you collapse against him. he's twitching inside of you, his chest jumping with his breaths, and your fingers reach to brush along the side of his neck to help him come down from his high.

"okay, i'll admit," he starts, taking deep breaths between every word. "that was so fucking hot."

a giggle escapes past your lips, and you prop your chin up on his chest to look up at his face. "i knew it would be." you brush back his curls, freeing his glossy forehead. "thank you for trusting me."

his face is adorned by a soft smile, and it replicates on yours. "are you okay?" he asks, always so caring, and he lets out a breath when you nod.

number four, the most important one: lando hates being unable to hold you.

he hates not being in control of your well-being; he hates not being able to ensure you're okay. he hates not cupping your face in his palms, stroking your cheeks, pulling his fingers through your locks. so, it would be an understatement to say that he was ecstatic when you pulled yourself off him, sat down on his side and started working on undoing the ropes.

his skin shows off a burning red color, and it hasn't occurred to you yet how much he actually must've been itching to touch you. usually, when he ties you up, your skin gets a bit irritated too, sure. but it's not often this bad. "let me get you a lotion for your wrists," you say.

you're practically off the bed already when lando grabs your hand, dragging you onto him again. "later." he pulls your back to his chest and nuzzles his face into your hair, pressing a peck to your scalp. "just wanna hold you right now."

you shake your head at his antics, but take both of his hands into yours. you hold them up to your lips, giving him a few kisses around both of his wrists. "maybe that's better?"

"perfect." his voice is low, arms snaking around your waist to tug you closer. "i think they're completely fine now."

"let me at least get you something in the morning?"

"mmm. shush and sleep now."

and there it was, an order – back in control already. just like he should be.

[c0llisiion]

Hihi, Idk if requests are open. But can you do Suga x fem!reader where he fucks her while her hands are behind her back…maybe degrading and dumbifaction. Possibly edging?? If you’re comfortable. ily !

FAVOURITE — M.YG

★Pairing: min yoongi + f!reader

★Genre: smut

★: not proof read, mean dom!myg , office!au , office sex , unprotected sex (practice safe sex!) , bondage , pussy slapping , fingering , dumbification , slight edging , name calling , nicknames — lmk if i missed any! ^^

★W/C: 1,479

A/N: hiii!! Sorry if this took so long 😭 tysm to user for sending me this! I had sm fun writing it! I hope it checks out all that you wanted 😞🥰 enjoy!!!

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ MDNI. Please refrain from reading if the topics make you uncomfortable. ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

The bundle of files came flying at you, hitting you on the chest, The impact made you stumble back a bit. “Are you fucking stupid???” Yoongi spat at you from behind his desk. An angry scowl was plastered on his face. He slammed his hand on the desk. “I ask you one thing, and this is the result?!” You flinch at his words and actions. Your gaze was low, trying to avoid any eye contact with the furious man that stood in front of you. 

Being Yoongis assistant was not as easy as you thought. You thought it would be all easygoing and happy because you were literally working for one of the biggest corporations and were hired as the personal assistant for the CEO! Isn't that a dream!!?? You would think. It was far from that. Yoongi was a sadist. He liked torturing you. Giving you the hardest assignments or tasks for you to complete and, on top of that, a very short amount of time to finish them. He made you follow millions of rules because ‘you are new, so you need guidance, right?’. You started getting why his other assistants resigned. 

You stared at the ground, on the verge of tears. You were a pretty sensitive person, so him screaming at you, accompanied by the throwing of things, was the perfect recipe for your waterworks to pour. You tried staying strong and tried to put up with his attitude, but today was the last straw.

“Are you that incompetent? Is this how I taught you? You dumb fucking slut! The only thing you are good at is flirting and fucking my employees!” He snapped at you harshly. Your heart sank at his words, and you started sniffing. He noticed it almost immediately and walked towards you, his lean body towering over your small frame as he stared down at you. You stayed silent, as you were not allowed to talk back to him until he said so. You gulped before hot streams of tears started pouring down your face. Yoongi stared at you, amused, A smirk was on his face as he finally broke you. He lifted your chin up and stared into your tear-filled eyes blankly. “Pathetic… Did I really hire a crybaby?” You shook your head. “N-no.. sir… w-whatever you said is not true…” You spoke up. You stutter in fear. “What?” His grip on your chin tightened. He got closer, his other hand creeping behind and groping your plump ass. Your breath hitched at his sudden action. His hand travels down to your neck, wrapping his fingers around them as he brings your face closer to his own. “Gon’ teach you a good lesson, ‘kay? So better shut your stupid fucking mouth and listen t’ me..” he hissed. His hand on your ass went under your short pencil skirt. You gulp and shudder when you feel his long, cold fingers rubbing your wet cunt. “So fucking wet.. you like it when I get angry at you, dont you , pretty?” His other hand found your ass cheeks before spreading and giving them a tight slap. You whine as you feel his fingers prod into your cunny , your head falling onto his chest. Hot tears stained his white button up. 

“S-sir.. please .. its embarrassi-“ He cut you off by landing a slap on your wet cunt. You jerk forward at the impact and sob as you watch Yoongi spread your cheeks and admire your pretty pussy. “So pretty… everything about you is perfect…” he praised. You whimpered as you felt his hot breath fanning over your bare pussy. You couldn’t do much as he had you bent over his desk, with his black valentino tie, binding your hands together behind your back. He gently placed a kiss on your slit, sending shivers down your spine. You writhed as he made out with your pussy. You gasped out as he slapped your ass. “Quit moving, bitch.” You gulped and closed your eyes as he licked a long stripe. Your eyes rolled back, and you started drooling as you felt his tongue inside of your warm walls. Yoongi buried his face in your pussy, his nose nudged inside. His tongue moved inside you with precision. A stream of your arousal ran down yoongis chin and your thighs. He moaned as he felt you clench around his tongue. “So wet. You are such a slut..” he mumbled into your pussy. You cried out as yoongis fingers found your neglected clit, slender fingers toying with the sensitive bud to overstimulate you. “S-sir… s’ too much!” Yoongi pulled away, leaving your cunt throbbing. He stood up and hovered over your small frame. You look up at him with glossy eyes, and a fucked out face, barely even being able to comprehend what’s going on. “Too much?” You nod dumbly, your eyes on the verge of tears. Yoongi's hands smoothed over your sweaty forehead, pushing away the stray hairs. “I barely started, princess..” Your mouth falls agape as you feel his fingers circle your entrance. “You disappointed me today… don’t you think i –squelch– deserve compensation..?” Your eyes roll back, and you moan as his fingers curl into your g spot. Your legs were trembling as four of his fingers went in and out off your sex, his hands already getting coated with your juices, almost reaching the cuffs of his suit jacket. Loud, squelching sounds accompanied by your soft moans bounced off the walls of his office. Yoongis other hand, found your perky nipples, playing with them through your thin shirt. “Mmm-ngh- s-sir….” You were too out of it to even speak. His fingers drove into you at an insane pace. Your mind was foggy as you slurred your words. “Gon -ngh- na.. c-cuum…” you almost felt like you were going to black out, but you were quickly brought back to earth as Yoongi pulled his fingers away. You cried out and turned around to look at Yoongi.

Your eyes almost popped out of your skull as Yoongis long cock plunged into you without a warning. Yoongi had a shit eating grin as he watched your reaction. He started moving his hips, sharp thrusts abused your walls. Your eyes crossed, and you started drooling from the sides of your mouth as Yoongi pounded into your squelching pussy. One of his hands was on your hip, keeping your body steady, and the other was on your head, squishing the side of your face. With every driving thrust into your pussy, the desk shook. You were crying and whining. Yoongi's cock was just too good. He pulled your head back, making you look into his eyes. “Look at you… all fucked out, and i barely started… feels good, princess? Does my princess like getting fucked like this? Yeah?” You whine at his words, unable to speak. You looked at him with your big, glossy eyes, lips in a pout, and eyebrows stitched together.  Yoongi almost lost it after looking at your state. “Is the dick too good that my princess cant even speak?” He scoffed before wrapping his hand around your neck, bringing you closer to his body. He used his other hand to lift one of your legs up on the desk. The new position hit the right spots. You moaned as his cock continuously bruised your cervix. He would pull back all the way and plunge into you, grazing your sensitive g spot. The hand on your neck was an added stimulation. “Fuuuuuckk…- sirrr.. -hic- its too g-goodd..” “yeah? Does my pretty little slut wanna cum? Does she wanna come all over boss’s dick?” He said it in between hot breaths. You nodded incoherently. “Mhmffm- wan’ more… wanna c-cummm….” Yoongis eyebrows furrowed as he watched your pussy suck him in. A thick ring of your cream was coating his pelvis. “So good… such a pretty whore.. do you see the way your pussy is taking me? ‘m gonna fill you up. Im gonna make sure you walk out with my cum dripping down your thighs. Wan’ everyone to know who this whore belongs too..” you cried out at his words, and a stream of your hot arousal gushed out of your pussy. You fall limply onto the desk and let Yoongi use your cunt. Not long after, his hot cum filled your womb. Rope after rope. He hunched over your small frame, holding you close to his body as he calmed himself down from his intense orgasm. 

Yoongi laid your weak body down on his office couch. You were barely conscious. He had cleaned you down and fixed your hair. He untied your hands and smoothed over the red marks. He had your head on his lap, as he ran his fingers through your slightly sweaty hair. He gently placed a kiss on your forehead. 

“ My favourite girl. ”

A/N: thank you for reading!! Did it seemed too rushed? I told i will post rqs in march but i couldn’t help but post it 😭 was the office theme okay? Hope you liked it <3 i will be back 🔜 pookies hehe

[thatdeadaquarius]

Imagine a horribly clumsy creator in the sagau... like trips over their own feet, starts coughing due to choking on air randomly, knocking a vase off a table that was in the middle of the table somehow???? Silly goofy stuff like that (I pull these silly goofs often personally)

(obv goes w/o saying sorry for being so late to reply /gen) ;-;

clumsy reader is so me core idk why i didnt think of this lmao

(this gif is liek the modern equivalent of Charlotte posting ur embarrassing clumsy moments on insta Steambird acc lmao)

(so sometimes im lazy and dont include the ask stuff esp if its shorter like this, so here's at least the characters in this one: Fontaine ppl <3 along with a G for general audience, barring cuss words)

Navia would politely ask you to go the edge or whatever area ur in whenever she pulls out her cannons/guns LMAO

every time you and either Clorinde or Neuvillette are walking next to you, or doing rlly anything, its like night and day

ur out here finding all the cracks in the sidewalk, bumping everything that could even possibly have a liquid in it, and have constant bruises from hip checking/stubbing toes on mechas walking around

Clorinde is impressed at that point bc mechas are actively programmed to get out of your way, so how u managed to put them back into ur way rlly fascinates her 😭😭

Neuvillette would like to wrap u in fabric/bubble wrap equivalent for his old ass, in an attempt to desperately stop u from hurting urself lol

u get a new coat or new pants from him all the time, u just thought at first he was rlly into giving u Fontaine fashion until Furina pointed out that it was spring/summer and you wouldn't wear thick woolen pants and fur-lined coats everyday 💀

(poor dragon guy doesn't rlly get the practical side of clothes, he likes fashion, but he inadvertently subscribes to the "hoes don't get cold" philosophy by being an ancient dragon lord)

Wriothesley is unfortunately nice enough to constantly try and catch his poor god, which ends well for neither of you 50% of the time

its not even ur weight takes him down, he's buff as hell after all, and he's dealt with rowdy inmates, its just.. ur clumsiness spreads.

if ur tripping, and the poor Duke reaches out to catch you, ur reaching out at the same time to steady urself on a side table w/a vase full of water, which u then knock off, drenching ur back and his face at the same time LMAO

he doesn't learn, despite u literally begging him to stop trying to help u, then u try and compromise to just let u fall and help u afterward asdfghkl-

Wrio's too chivalrous tho, the most u can get him to do is always grab ur arm instead of trying to bodily catch you

if u think after the first like, ✌️ TWO times Lynette is willing to help you, u r so wrong lmao

she's seen her brothers clumsiness, she knows theres no saving u

she does comfort u after slipping (not even falling but just flailing dramatically) for the 5th time in the puddles around water fountains tho

Lyney and Freminet are lowkey legit convinced someones cursed their god atp 😰

Freminet always had bandaids for u, and Lyney keeps a supply of ur fav candy to cheer u up after embarrassing urself by falling ass backwards right into the Fountain of Lucine right in front of Opera house lmao

...

...Charlotte thinks this is all vv hilarious, no she has no respect for ur godliness, her archon was Furina like LMAO- IM SORRYYY

(she has started a small section in the steambird of a near daily- DAILY picture of u being clumsy 😭)

(u, not srsly, threaten to smite her and she just giggles)

(its ok they take it all in a cute/endearing trait type of way)

☆

again, sorry for lateness, when i reopen askbox (soon, FINALLY-)

ill try and stay more on top of it and try and sort whatre just chats/non-requests better too 😭😭

hope u guys are having a good week!! tysm for being patient and nice to me :')

Safe Travels Kai,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

@kiyomi-uchiha777

<3

[oh-no-its-bird]

I cannot lie to u guys. A big motivator driving me to write the Shang Qinghua in Naruto fic (and specifically to finish it) is that I so desperately need to see one very specific scene of Houhua somehow getting zapped into canon

I genuinely don't remember if I've posted about this yet or only written it out in my notes app but like .

Houhua's gets into a fight and his mangekyou (relating to time shit and directly connected to the 'real' naruto universe via the system) kind of smashes into Obito's mangekyou (dimension travel shit) and also possibly even into Sasuke's own (idk whether he has the rinnegan or not in this au / at that point, but he's also there, and if he does have it, it'd also pitch in w time and dimension)

And basically, all three of them get tossed face first into canon naruto for a bit! I'm sure this can't possibly go wrong.

They get scattered across fire country ,,, They were originally fighting in some 3rd location and Houhua lands back inside of Konoha, and assumes (logically) he just got regular teleported and not hit with the fucking dimension travel beam.

So, yk, he goes 'oh FUCK I lost Sasuke' and goes straight for the Hokage tower to tell Tsunade what happened, bc

a) last uchiha(s),

and b) they were quite possibly specifically sent out on some mission together by her when it was crashed by Obito

Maybe they were going to try and hunt down Itachi ?? Sharingan vs sharingan,,,, idk but if they were then Itachi is also probably around here somewhere due to the dimension zap. No one ask me the specifics I have no idea yet, this would be so down the line in the story

But anyways. Just. Houhua bursting into the Hokage's office then immediately bursting into tears and wailing smthn ab having "lost Sasuke" to a very confused Tsunade and very alarmed team of ANBU agents

More realistically, he'd never be able to make it up into the Hokage's office, so like. Houhua being stopped (by people he knows !! that no longer seem to know him !!) at the doors as he is confused and angry bc WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS HE HAS TO REPORT IN LIKE YESTERDAY !!! THEY HAVE AN EMERGENCY ON THEIR HANDS !!!

Houhua accidentally manages to bullshit his way into the Hokage's office by just acting so confident (bc ofc he is! He fr thinks he's supposed to be allowed to be here!) and also jabbing his finger into an ANBU's face and calling them out by code name like he knows exactly who they are, going SPARROW U ARE NOT DOING THIS TO ME RIGHT NOW !! THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS SHIT !!!

Maybe he throws in Itachi's name somewhere in there if the mission he was sent on involved trying to hunt him down

Either way, the ANBU are successfully convinced (and confused) that this guy... must belong here? Is he some higher up? Was he undercover? They dont know but he sure does know them and is acting like everything is ok, so...?

I just need Houhua interacting with canon tbh, au x canon is my favorite thing ever, in the entire world. He deserves to get zapped into naruto canon w Sasuke for a while !!

Meanwhile, Obito is now in an alternate world close enough to the one he left that he doesn't really care (Houhua's existence has not impacted him much tbh) but like. No consequences. Obito doesn't have to worry ab his plans here bc this isn't his world so nothing really matters. But it's still similar enough that the people (read: Kakashi) he might interact with are basically the same to him

So anyways Obito goes to give Kakashi some special 1 on 1 harassment. Could literally go in any direction tbh

Obito probably appears in his room like a little freak and just starts fucking w Kakashi as Kakashi goes through the "who are you how did you get in here" routine (while slowly sliding into an "oh god its Obito" realization fueled panic attack the longer the conversation goes on)

In true Obito fashion, Obito mood swings like no one has ever mood swings before, alternating between making some serious threats to saying straight up creeper shit he'd probably never even voice aloud in his original world

But he can say them all here because there are no consequences, and he wont even have to look himself in the mirror later when he goes home and itll all be fine :DD

Kakashi is having a straight up bad time.

Meanwhile Itachi is just having. A time.

He probably goes back to the Akatsuki only to be faced to face with HIMSELF and immediately checks tf out of just. All of this. He is dissasociating.

The Itachi's haaateeee each other btw, pure self-loathing directed at eachother in such a passive aggressive way. It's very telling, actually.

It would be incredibly uncomfortable for anyone to watch but most of the Akatsuki (Deidara and Hidan especially) are watching with rapt attention while shoveling popcorn into their mouths. Deidara is especially delighted to see that even Itachi himself can't fucking stand another version of him

(As if Deidara could last 1 minutes alone in a room with another him without trying to blow each other up)

Eventually ofc they realize the root of the differences between their worlds (Houhua) tho I think the first real difference they'd note would actually be Jun's existence-- just because he's the easier topic between them, since he's occasionally partnered with (our) Itachi

Idk how they bring up Houhua but like, once he's prought up, (canon) Itachi would be like "Who?" in just the flattest voice as (our) Itachi has a little episode of 'oh. he doesnt exist here.'

Itachi having to describe Houhua to someone else,, but that someone else is himself so he finds himself being more honest than he might have otherwise been w literally anyone else,,, ough,,

(canon) Itachi has Izumi, and mmmayyybe they'll realize that they're just gender bent versions of each other (kind of, anyways) but I kind of doubt it. Either way, thatll be a fun conversation to have

Even more fun of a conversation is the inevitable Sasuke conversation, which I do not even know where to begin with

WHICH ALSO BRINGS US TO SASUKE. WHO IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. IDK WHAT HES DOING BUT MAN IS HE LOST.

Sasuke's part of this arc could go in a lot of directions depending on if he defected from the village or not (still undecided on that but for now lets say he isnt, since Tsunade sent him on that hypothetical mission w Houhua)

Just. A slightly healthier and more stable and sane Sasuke who was raised by Houhua after the massacre. Ok and now throw him at his canon counterpart. I think they would also dislike eachother

Canon Sasuke probably burns with envy at the knowledge that this Sasuke got to keep one of their clansmen, and that Houhua helps to shoulder the burden of revenge. But he also has scorn for the fact that Houhua has seemingly "held him back" from revenge or some shit. Not entirely to mask his jealously, tbh

Idk but like, Sasuke vs Sasuke. It's a mess.

Don't let Naruto meet the Sasuke who never left Konoha / possibly came back or he'll lose his mind ab it

Anyways yeah !!! Houhua au meets canon ,,, I need it so bad,,, fuck,,

[lynnlovesthestars]

Scars.

Pairing: Astarion x reader Genre and warnings: angst, lots of it, hurt barely any comfort, allusions to sexual assault, past trauma, graphic description of torture, kidnapping, blood, violence, set in act 3, mention of death. Notes: not proof read ngl, i wrote it after dreaming it, and i didnt even wanna read it again, i cried like a bitch cause it’s kinda like…. past experience projected? just yeah dont ask if im ok after writing this, the answer is no lmao... also just a side note since it’s the first time im posting on this profile, but english is not my first language so please be mindful about it. Edit 10/06/23: i finally went through it end edited it.. i hope i catched all the errors cause idk if i'll ever be strong enough to give it another read ahah

Getting so close to someone meant so much for Astarion, and the more he cared, the more new fears would swim through his brain. 

Since you arrived in the lower city, and his bed was no longer cold at night, a new nightmare snuck in.

The idea that Cazador would be able to get to you, and weaponize you against him, made his cold blood run even colder. Several nights you woke up to a trembling and sweating Astarion, as he was begging for mercy. He never explained too much about these nightmares to you, just letting you know it was about Cazador again and again, but he left out the haunting possibility of you getting hurt because of him. On the other hand you believed it was because you were getting so close to the Szarr palace, and Cazador knew about it just as much as Astarion did.

It was the middle of the night when the sound of a broken glass stirred you awake. You looked around you, Astarion still deep into his meditating state, while the others were asleep as well, none of them reacted to the sound like you did. Maybe you just had a light sleep, you thought, and someone in the tavern dropped a few glasses or something. It was when hands gripped your wrists that you jolted up, looking behind you. It was too dark to see, and all you could spot were the deep red eyes, like Astarion's, though they lacked the warmth of his.

A shiver ran through your spine as you realized what was happening, but when you tried to call for the others, you realized how deep in shit you actually were: no sound would leave your lips, like you were silenced.

"There's no need to be afraid, Tav." A deep cold voice whispered so close to your ear. "They can't hear you".

The voice chuckled at your failed attempts to call for Astarion, Karlach or anyone, as tears were starting to pool at the edge of your eyes.

Another pair of hands took hold of Astarion, magical shackles fastened around his hands and feet, just as they did to yours, and then they started dragging you both away.

The deep voice spent the whole travel taunting you with stories of Cazador, how cold blooded he was, and just how much he enjoyed torturing his victims. From one point of view you were already accustomed with such stories about him, but from the other, the idea of Cazador getting hold of Astarion again, made your blood freeze again. You were not going to let Cazador hurt him again. You were set on the idea.

When you reached the corridors of Cazador's palace, the silencing spell finally wore off, though Astarion was still not moving. Terror flashed through your eyes as you wondered if they had already…

"What did you do to him?!" You breathed out as you tried so hard to keep your calm in front of the spawns that were dragging and pushing you through the dark hallways.

The spawn scoffed as he pushed through and through.

"Don't worry, he's not dead" You could feel his eyes rolling at the question, like it was some dumb question you should have known the answer to. "..yet" he added at last.

You couldn't stop your mouth from twitching, between the state of rage that was slowly building up, or the terror of them hurting Astarion.

"What's going on? Can i know that at least?" You wanted so bad to cast a spell on him, charming him into freeing you, but without the use of your hands, you were useless.

"Cazador wants to give you a warm welcome into Baldur's gate" He giggled, as the smell of old blood mixed with the sour taste of the bile threatening to spill from your lips, and you couldn't hold it anymore, and your feelings started spilling out.

You couldn't help then to try and get Astarion free at least. You wanted to shake those hands off of you, to wiggle out of the shackles that bound your magic, but no matter how much you tried, you were like set in stone, unable to do anything but move forward, shed tears, and talk. Or more specifically, beg.

Beg them to hurt you, instead of Astarion. 

Beg them to keep you here, and let your star free.

Beg them to turn you if needed, but spare Astarion's life.

Anything, if it meant not hurting the man that stole your heart with a dagger to your throat.

Quickly you were tossed in a cage, adjacent to Astarion's, and locked in.

The shackles that bound your feet dissipated, as the cage started ascending upward.

It halted in front of an altar, you guessed, that directly faced into the chasm you ascended from. Other spawns, around twenty you were able to count, started taking seats around the edges, sitting all in religious silence on their knees.

Astarion was still passed out, cradled on the floor of the cage, both restraints still tightly bound to him.

"Please, please, please" You cried out as the last bit of your strength was going to be dedicated towards trying to get Astarion free, far away from this place. "Let Astarion go, i beg you" You repeated your plea again, as you saw all those spawns stir from their seats, they wanted to turn their heads, to face whoever was foolish enough to beg Cazador for mercy, to trade spots with Astarion.

Everyone in that room knew what was going to happen, he was going to show them what happens when you disobey, when you run away thinking you can escape him. Instead you were so foolish and blinded by love, that you wanted to take Astarion's place, unaware of the extent that Cazador would go to. Yet you didn't stop, you kept begging and begging until a voice, the voice, echoed through the altar's walls.

"Tsk you just gave me a wonderful idea" the man hummed as his scepter started glowing, and Astarion started stirring awake, he looked around him, his tired eyes quickly widening as the reality around him had set in his mind.

"Let her go, you son of a bitch" Astarion growled as he stood up so quick, and gripped at the iron bars separating him from Cazador. 

"Touch her and I swear I'll spill your guts right here" He spit out of the cage, a symbolic spit cause you were too far away to reach him.

"My, my, our dear Astarion has forgotten all the manners" He cooed as his lips smacked together, his voice so honeyed it was bringing you to the verge of vomit.

You wanted to reassure Astarion, let him know that you were going to do your best to free him, that you were both going to be out of there alive soon, but could you? Could you lie so much to the man you loved? Words were stuck on your tongue, making your throat drier and drier.

You guessed you zoned out for a few seconds as your head was flooded with thoughts, missing the hate Astarion was throwing at his master.

"Ah sweet Astarion, your dear Tav has given us a great idea though, it would be a shame to let it go to waste" He hummed, as the staff light up again, the lock on your cage fell down the chasm, as your trembling body was slowly being dragged out of the cage by magic.

"No, no, no, no" Astarion reprated as his eyes locked on you, falling on the long streaks of tears running down your cheeks as you tried to offer him a sad smile, your lips muttering an "it's going to be okay" while his body was about to give in to desperation, loud sobs echoed from him, as your heart broke at his sight: he was barely standing up now, his hand gripped tight as he screamed through the hall to let you go, to not hurt you, to stop. "This is just a nightmare" He fell on his knees as you were slowly dropped on the cold floor, barely keeping your head up as you realized you were still in his shirt, the one he loved on you.

"Oh dear Astarion" Cazador cooed again as he kneeled in front of you, his cold fingers getting ahold of your chin, to tilt your head towards his. "This is not a nightmare, this is real" His words were like cold daggers through your chests, you knew that whatever was going to happen, it was not going to be fun.

Before you could say anything, Cazador's hand slipped to your waist pulling on the shirt as you flinched away, disgusted by the touch of the vampire in front of you.

But he didn't care, he was swift in removing it, leaving you bare in front of dozens of eyes.

You could hear the rattling coming from Astarion's cage as he attempted to break free over and over again while his chest was about to explode.

He didn't have the right to undress you in front of everyone, he didn't have the right to touch you at all, not when he prayed every night to have the chance to see you bare, to hold you. His thoughts were swinging back and forth between desperation and deep seethed rage.

"My, my I can see why our Astarion has fallen for this little creature" Cazador's compliment almost made you retch as you stumbled back a little. "She even puts up a fight" He chuckled as he lunged forward just enough to grip at your wrist and whipping you on your feet.

Every inch of your skin was visible to everyone, from the battle scars you got through the years of adventuring, to the teeth marks on your neck, down to the stretchmarks that lived on your hips.

A shiver ran through your spine as Cazador’s fingers grazed over the two marks on your neck. “Mh, your blood seems to be sweet enough, right Astarion?” His cruel words hit Astarion through the chest. He was one word away from a breakdown as he couldn’t do anything but witness his nightmares coming alive, not his Tav, not when he would be so careful to cradle you and comfort you to his chest whenever he'd drink from you.

Whatever he was screaming was incomprehensible to you, as all you could feel was the way Cazador gripped and pushed you towards a plush chair, where he sat with legs wide open before dragging you on his lap. You felt so nauseous as he bent you towards the arm rest, making you face the cold grey floor.

You wanted to hear the taunting explanation of what he was going to do, but all the sounds were drowned by the thrumming of your chest and the desperation in your own thoughts, repeating over and over that you were going to find a way out, trying to convince your brain to shut off and dissociate as you were there, like you were just in a nightmare, and you’d be awake soon.

All you could gather was few words like “knife”, “mark”, reminder”, and then “Astarion”. He was torturing him through you, and you couldn’t do anything about it. The worst part in this, was that you were the one that gave him the idea, cause you wanted him to free Astarion, and instead he let it all out on you instead than on your Aster, as a punishment for you both. You cause you were so careless to offer yourself though you didn't know the risk, and Astarion for being reckless and disobedient. Right there, as the dagger pierced your spine, you regretted not whispering Astarion how much you loved him, while you were tight against his chest, when the world around you was asleep, and you had a corner of peace. You always knew what you felt for him, from that moment on the beach, at the shipwreck, and yet you just wanted to tell him in the right moment. But what was the right moment? You might never know, as a broken scream broke through your lips, salty tears flowing free, so much that you thought for a moment that you might have died of dehydration, if the knife wasn’t going to do it first.

He carved and carved over your back, intelligible lines and symbols as you finally understood what Astarion meant when he told you how he got his scars. How gut wrenching the pain was as he couldn’t move, and how Cazador didn't allow a break, and retraced the lines that were wobbly if he moved too much.

“You know?” Cazador asked, as everyone’s eyes were on what he thought was a work of art, your carved skin, while Astarion’s plea echoed over and over in the room. “Our sweet Astarion used to whine just like you” He hummed. “Just a pathetic little child” He spit out like venom as you could barely breathe out few words along the lines of “you disgusting monster”, though you were not sure you actually let them out until, Cazador’s laugh filled every corner of the disgraced altar. Your tadpole writhed as another line was cut at the height of your hips, before, Cazador started retracing the lines and pulling away the skin, exposing the deepest layers of your flesh, the pain was so deep your vision blurred, and you were so close to passing out right there.

You don’t know how long you sat there, you slipped between pain and numbness as Cazador slapped you back to consciousness whenever you'd slip away, you had to endure the agonizing scarring and remember every second of it. He decorated with bloody lines almost all over your body.

You didn’t know what was worse between laying on the raw scars of your back, seeing your own skin being peeled away or the cries and sobs coming from the man you loved. You had to find a way, you couldn’t give up, you couldn’t allow this monster to walk the earth again. You had to do it for Astarion.

You were not sure when he dropped you on the floor, your body barely able to hold itself together as finally you could look around you and towards Astarion. Every face around you was stoic, like they were used to witnessing such spectacle, and they knew what was going to happen next.

You wanted to reach for Astarion, to take him away from the revolting scene in front of his eyes, you wanted to take away his pain, give him the last bit of hope you had, but when you were about to link your tadpole to his to do it, you hesitated. Connecting your minds meant he would feel how dirty, wretched and lost you felt, along with the gut wrenching pain ebbing through your body.

You could barely make out the words Cazador said as his nails dig through your skin again, even when he pulled your eyes to his you could barely read his lips as he said words you just wanted to cancel from your brain. A broken sob regurgitated from your throat as he was going to take the last thing you had. You just had to let your brain go, right? To ignore the teeth dipping in your throat and the putrid hands slithering down your skin, taking away enough blood to barely keep you alive as he took you in front of everyone.  It was no longer just physical pain, it was the way you felt your own body being stolen away and used in way no one ever dared before.

Numbness was all that was left of you after a while, of your barely beating heart while more hands crawled their way through places were you never wanted anyone to touch, then, in that moment, you realized you were free of your shackles, because you were so drained and broken that you could barely do anything. You could barely by aware of your surroundings, of how many bodies were preying on you, as you could barely manage to move inches.

Your vision was all but clear, you could make out the outline of Cazador as he was buttoning up his blouse again. Then you could see Astarion, still caged, struggling to stay sane as he wanted just to take you away from the monsters abusing of you, abusing of the fact that you were powerless in front of them. His eyes were a bloodshot, he was so hurt that he resorted to supplicate for mercy, to let you go and just kill him, whatever that could stop the agonizing pain. You didn’t have much strength left, maybe if you put all of yourself, you could muster two spells before passing out again. 

It took all you had to even raise your hand towards the lock that sealed Astarion’s crate, you mustered all your willpower to cast that knock spell, just enough to let the damn lock fall down. Astarion instantly turned to you, to your teary form still being touched by unworthy creatures, noticing how your hand barely held up, as you tried to cast one more spell, just for him, before another broken scream echoed in the room, bouncing from wall to wall till it reached Astarion's core. The kind of scream that should never be drawn by someone, nevertheless by you.

The radiant dagger materialized in his hands, and for a moment he didn’t notice it as he was fixated on the broken look on your face, encouraging him to end his master, although you suffered right there, paces away. “I love you” You mutter barely, you wanted to let him know before you could draw your last breath, then everything blurred.

Everything was muffled, you couldn’t see what was going on around you, you just felt all the presences around you disappear, while Astarion’s voice was crystal clear through the excruciating pain.

"I'll kill you, then I'll bring you back, and kill you again.” He shoved Cazador on the floor, just like he did with you, to remind him how he hurt you, how he used you, how he touched the only person he should have never laid hands on. “I’ll do it over and over again until you have suffered a tenth of what you did to her. Then I'm going to gut you one more time, and paint this shithole with your putrid blood. The halls of this place will reek with your disgusting blood, to let the whole city be aware of your death and from which the hands it came from” His hands were shaky, but he had to do it. For him, but mainly for you. All that was left of him was you, and nothing could ever be enough to vindicate you.

The shiny dagger stabbed over and over again through Cazador’s chest, while Astarion cursed him, every thrust of the dagger through the heart earned a new mocking insult, a new reminder of what he did, while all of Astarion's anger was channeled into annihilating him.

You just laid there, all you could do was listen to the grunts and the hate slipping from your lover’s lips as he dipped that dagger in the gutted body. You didn’t even realized when he dropped the disemboweled body on the marble, you weren’t even sure you could breathe, at that point.

A pair of shaking arms wrapped around your drained body, Astarion’s shirt was used again to cover your skin, as he picked you up, trying to be as delicate as possible. His salty tears fell over your body as he carried away from the nauseating scene, you frail body barely shivering, and your chest barely moving. He was muttering something to you, but everything sounded foreign at your hear.

He had to move quickly, find Shadowheart or Halsin, or anyone to heal you, to keep you alive. It was in this moment that he wished he could beg a deity to keep you alive, but he didn’t trust anyone else to tend you. He needed to rush outside of this place and get you to safety. 

He didn’t expect to see everyone outside the locked ballroom door, as they fumbled to open the door. They were taken by surprise at the sight of Astarion cradling you to his chest, all covered in blood, while his eyes were a pit of pain and tears.

Shadowheart didn’t hesitate to heal you right there before they all guided you towards the tavern you've been resting. They all offered to carry you, to make Astarion breathe a bit while on your way back there, but he refused. “I can’t..” He mumbled. “I don’t want..” His voice was just a whisper, broken. “I need” He wanted to break down again with you in his arms, but he had to lay you down first, to let you rest in a warm bed, he had to bring you to safety again, away from anyone that could pose any harm to you. He needed to see that smile again, cause no power flowing through his veins could have replaced you. He failed you once, he was not going to do it again. You saved him, twice, he had to do it just once for you. He had to thank you, and he had to tell you how much he loved you.

[mybiasisexo]

can i request 27 & 53 for the drabble withhhhh baekhyun? idk if i’m able to ask if it can lean towards an enemy/frenemies to lovers type trope but if not, it’s alright it’s up to your creativity and writing! i’m grateful for you and this writing, hope everything goes well for you, and thank you so much!

Effort 🤛

Genre: angst | arranged marriage!au | ceo!bbh | nonidol!au Pairing: Baekhyun x f.Reader Length: 1.4k Warnings: language

a/n: bro.... im only like half way done with these drabbles yall 😭. a lot of them are written its just getting them out now so yay for that! this is why i dont do these things. next time i know forsure to only accept like 10. thank you for the request! Sorry for taking so long 😭 but by this point yall should know the drill lmfaoooo 💖

DRABBLE GAME | MASTERLIST

You march into your condo in search for the other person that lives there.

You find him in the kitchen, sitting at the massive island, cradling a glass of whiskey.

On a mission, you make your way over to him and slam your hand on the marble top, demanding his attention.

Baekhyun jumps at the sound, turning to you with blurry eyes.

“Did you get into a fight?” You ask in annoyance.

Rolling his eyes, he huffs a laugh before taking a sip of his hard drink. “Hello to you too, Wife.”

Narrowing your eyes, you fight the warmth in your chest at the title. Wife. It’s been almost a year and you still haven’t fully come to terms with your newfound role.

“I heard what happened,” you inform him. You catch the stiffening of his shoulders and him muttering something about word traveling fast.

“If you already heard, why're you asking?”

“Because I need you to confirm it, and I need to know why.”

Baekhyun gulps, staring blankly ahead. “Mr. Lee. He was saying some very disgusting and vulgar things about you.”

That isn’t shocking. You are an heiress who spent majority of your youth causing chaos for your family. You were a wild child, spending most of your time partying for the tabloids to see. You had known the life you were going to be subjected to, so decided to live freely while you still could. Unfortunately, it earned you the reputation of being a drunk slut that followed you throughout the years. Despite getting your shit together, taking over your family business, and pushing it to bigger levels. Despite going as far as getting married, people still saw you as that reckless little girl. Many people within your company undermined your authority because of that, but it never swayed you. If anything, it only encouraged you more. You loved proving people wrong. Hearing someone as creepy as Mr. Lee was making lewd comments about you was unfortunately unsurprising.

What is surprising is your husband’s reaction.

In any other setting, a husband defending his wife’s honor is a normal act of love. That’s what they do, support and defend their spouse. But your marriage is a tad different due to the fact Baekhyun didn’t marry you out of love.

Actually, neither one of you had any say in this little arrangement. This union was only possible from the agreement of your parents.

You aren’t exactly happy about the situation, but you understand your position. That’s why you accepted the proposal without complaint. Baekhyun, on the other hand, was severely against the marriage and threatened everyone involved. Allegedly, he already had someone that he cherished around that time. You even had the pleasure of meeting her—at your own wedding, no less—and she was amazing. You totally understood why Baekhyun was angry. Still, he followed through with the arrangement, and here you are now, arguing in your shared apartment.

It isn’t the first time, nor the last you’re sure. You want to at least try to make this relationship work, but Baekhyun makes it impossible. He takes all his frustrations of your predicament out on you with cruel words and cold shoulders. He’s constantly reminding you how much he loathes you, like it was your idea to get married. As hard as you try to brush it off, it hurts. You were forced into this marriage too! You wanted the fairytale ending just as badly as everyone else in the world, but that simply wasn’t your reality. So, you make the best out of a shitty situation. Still, it feels extremely unfair for him to treat you like desperate trash just because he can’t outwardly express his pain and fury to his parents.

“And?” You reply. “Wouldn’t be the first time? They said he got a black eye and a bloody nose. He’s threatening to press charges. The board is contemplating your suspension.”

His jaw clenches, but he doesn’t answer. Only takes another swig of his liquor.

“Baekhyun.” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “It’s unlike you to react like this. I’m sorry that being tied to me is tarnishing your reputation. I know my parents promised that it wouldn’t, but it appears it is.”

“I don’t give a fuck about that,” he seethes. “It had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the fact he was disrespecting my wife!”

He finally turns and gives you his attention. The fury he still feels over the situation radiates off of him in a heat so hot you’re surprised his clothes haven’t lit on fire. Your first instinct is to step away, not wanting to be his next victim. But, you stand firm, feigning courage.

“And I’d do it again,” he admits. “I’ll beat up anyone that talks about you like you’re some kind of whore they can pass around.”

“Why?” You ask in a whisper. “You hate me.”

He sighs. “I don’t hate you. I never have. I hate the situation we’re in. I hate that we didn’t mean it when we said ‘I do’.”

He lets go of his glass to take your hands in his. “But I don’t hate you. And I don’t blame you. I know I’ve been the worst husband ever, but these past few months I….”

He nibbles on his bottom lip and you blink back tears. “I’ve also said some hurtful things, and to your face. I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for that. You’ve been trying, and it’s been working. I’ve realized now how much of an idiot I’ve been. We can make an opportunity out of this. We’re married now, and it’s time that I started acting like it.”

You give him a smile full of relief. “What’s changed?”

“It’s been little things, but the biggest change was at the merger last month.”

Oh. You didn’t think he remembered.

It was your first real public appearance together, so you had to chum it up for the cameras. You were the new It Couple, both the children of two of the most successful businesses in the country. You were tech royalty, and the merging of your families was like two warring nations signing a peace treaty. That night showed you a tender side of Baekhyun you’d never been exposed to, and you couldn’t help but to fall for this person. You knew that none of it was real, but he was just so kind and flirty and when he kissed you it sparked something from deep within. Baekhyun must had felt it as well, because the moment you were back home, you were all over each other. The both of you had been drinking, so that may have played a role on your eagerness. You convinced yourself you weren’t that drunk, and that he was your husband. This was what married couples did. When you were in the bed, Baekhyun pulled away for just a couple seconds to grab a condom and came back to you passed out. It was a reality check for him, and he panicked as the realization of what you were about to do dawned on him. Once the panic dimmed, he was relieved, knowing that your dynamic was already messed up as it was, sex would just make things worse. You woke up the next morning in an empty bed, fully clothed, and Baekhyun never brought it up.

Now that you think of it, Baekhyun has changed since. He has been a lot less hostile, and has been coming come early enough to share dinner with you. During your meals, he made a point to have conversation with you, and you’ve felt like there has been progress between you.

“Truth is,” he says quietly. “Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I don’t deserve you, but I want you anyway.”

“You want me?” You ask.

“I do,” he admits. He pulls you closer to stand between his legs and lets go of your hands to hold you by your hips. “I want to make us work. I want to know everything about you. What makes you laugh, what makes you happy, what your favorite food is, what turns you on.” He smiles suggestively and you shove his shoulder playfully. “I want to know you. I want to protect you. I want to be your husband.”

You blink back the flood of tears that blur your vision so that you can see him. “I want that too, Baekhyun. I want us to try.”

He kisses the corner of your mouth before daring a kiss to your lips, which you reciprocate. When you pull away, he rests his forehead against yours.

“Then let’s try.”

[dramaturgydrakes]

Hnmmm I’m bad at asking questions but I want to know more about baby!hermes AU/any headcanons you have for epic!hermes so uhh use this ask to shameless share stuff

ok ok i dont actually have too much cuz its like 6am BUT.

rebabied hermes AU

he has a cow plushie. possibly made by penelope? either way it’s funny

ABSOLUTELY tried to steal ody’s cattle first thing. ended with anti-hermes measures aided by apollo

has woken up ody and pen several times playing the lyre like a guitar in the middle of the night. for funsies.

while he’s very bold, he’s also very easily spooked. bolts faster than a cat at sudden movements and loud noises (realizing my hermes is very catlike help)

notoriously known for “if you can’t find him, he’s causing trouble.” ody and pen will search the palace for him for hours then find out him and telemachus are wreaking havoc down in the market

he can ramble for hours. either about the same thing or he jumps topics every 30 seconds. sometimes it devolves into gibberish. penelope is VERY used to this from ody and tele and able to actually engage, while ody looks at her like “?? is this what i put you through”. telemachus is “← his ass is NOT listening” but sits thru it without a problem

for the first few weeks he pretends that he has to shed feathers just to cause problems for One Specific Servant he doesn’t like. then apollo stops by like “why tf is the palace covered in baby fluff. this is unnecessary” and hermes has to actually communicate because apollo is trained to see through his bs lol

ody tries to put him in timeout and he goes “you’re MY great-grandson!! and i’m a god!!! you can’t make me do anything!! YOU go in the corner!!!!!” which earns him a very long lecture from penelope as the alternative. never fusses over timeout again and does a very good job thinking about what he’s done. as an equivalent for stickers pen just gives him interesting little baubles that have his attention for hours afterwards

despite being a small child he still traumatizes telemachus with completely unnecessary tidbits about ody. then they go cause problems together anyways

probably more later idk lol

epic / regular hermes

he’s a stoner. this is basically accepted as canon by most fans now but i digress

this is kinda more general hermes than just epic, but: i imagine that when ody was a baby he was a BIG crier—anticlea and laertes were up almost every night trying to figure out how to calm him down. then, one night, anticlea wakes to him crying, but it stops suddenly and she panics, hurrying to his room. there, instead of something terrible, she finds hermes gently dancing with baby ody and singing lullabies that apollo used to sing to him. ody is absolutely enamored with him, just staring up at hermes with the biggest, most fascinated eyes. i imagine hermes also has his facial wings aside, but baby ody doesn’t seem at all scared of having the full attention of six glowing eyes :)

every problem odysseus causes is reason for celebration. every trick, every feat, every theft—and, at the same time, every generosity to the beggars and less fortunate of his kingdom. (i mean. hermes is a patron of groups that are usually lower class hshhs)

he and apollo are besties now but apollo absolutely still has days where he wants to throttle hermes. especially when hermes brings up the cows. hermes LOVES bringing up the cows. apollo proceeds to set his clothes on fire, like any immensely irritated big brother

sad moment but hermes has so much guilt over odysseus’s suffering. he’s meant to protect travelers, and he’s granted odysseus as much luck and protection as he can, but he couldn’t protect his crew and he couldn’t spare his great-grandson from horrible anguish. i know gods in mythos care very little for mortals, but hermes just feels different to me. in the odyssey he’s very kind and benevolent, legitimately caring for odysseus from what we can tell, and seeing his family in so much pain hurts him too

he visits anticlea frequently after her death

my brain is not at functioning capacity so this is all i got but yeah :)

[xanax-orig]

Universal Divide

Part 2 babes.

part 1 there ^^^^ idk how to use tumblr, really so im sorry guys 😔✊

Loki x fem!reader

Authors note: So yeah sorry idk how to make those lil links, anyways, i hope you like it, im hoping to actually make this a series while im motivated im going to write as much as i possibly can. also im sorry im literally writing this and posting it tbh, so soz for spelling and not rlly proof reading. anyways please tell me what u think, id rlly appreciate!!!

Summary: Loki tries to find a way to get his beloved mortal to his universe, but he has to ask his last option.

"Loki, are you alright? You look like you haven't slept at all." Stark side-eyed the God, lurking in the corner, he had been glancing over since Loki had gone back for his second cup of coffee within ten minutes. He was already on his fourth an hour and a half later.

"I am perfectly well, Stark." Loki's voice was tinged in disdain and mocking, yet he couldn't deny his sleepy undertone. Stark scoffed and shook his head, but dropped it regardless, opting to turn back to his current project. Loki had been helping Stark with various projects in the lab as he had been, 'detained' by The Avengers, although he left and came as he pleased. Of course though, he spent most of his free time visiting you.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Slowly, blinking blearily, your messy room greeted your (E/C) irises prompting a small groan of frustration as your palms rub your eyes awake. Eventually you sit up in your bed, reaching around for your remote to turn on your TV once more.

Your fingers dance over the remote buttons as you turn on, once again, another Marvel movie, after the breakup you'd decided that a long binge would help take your mind off of things. Clicking on the play button, the intro credits start to roll as you sink back into your pillows, hugging one close to your chest as you rest your cheek on the side. Unbeknownst to you, a certain trickster sits beside you, watching over you as he learns and practices various Asgardian books.

Loki over the months he's spent watching and yearning for you, has been studying any page he can find to bring you back with him. Every way he had thought of, planned, even tried to do, had failed. Every Asgardian spell or artifact, had not been able to sustain the travel of his beloved, but there was only one way Loki could think of to take Y/N with him. Or rather, one person he could ask.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"No." Loki sighed exasperatedly as he ran his hand through his hair once more, his other hand shoved in his trouser pocket, "Strange, I just ask for a small favour is all." Loki, almost on the verge of pleading at this point, and Strange knew that. Strange shook his head slightly before glancing back up to meet Loki's gaze, more intense than the last time, "You cannot expect me to rip a girl from all she has ever known because you have some feeble.. crush on her."

Lokis jaw tightened at the word 'crush' his hands dropping to his sides as he clenched his hands into fists, "This is no 'crush', Strange, I can assure of that." Strange scoffed lightly at Lokis gritted words, he wandered around Loki, like a predator circling a weakened predator in a desperate fight to come out on top. A battle of Lokis true intent.

"You believe you are truly in love with this girl?" Strange's words froze Loki on the spot, his well crafted mask slipping for a split moment before his mischevious smirk returned. "I do, I would not have found her if I had not been seeking for.. her." Strange's heels stop clacking aganst the hardwood floors, spinning to face Loki once more.

Strange paused, glancing over Loki curious, yet extremely hesitant, "If you can prove you truly love this mortal girl.. I will consider it, only, only if I deem it worthy." Lokis eyes lit up at Strange's proposition, he almost looked like a man starved as he nods eagerly.

"How can I prove my love for her? I will do anything, Strange. Anything." Loki's voice cracks slightly as he tries to uncinate his words, still trying to regain his fallen facade for a brief moment.

Strange's gaze lingers on Loki's, searching his eyes, only to see his sincerity behide his usual sarcastic demeanor. "You have not shown yourself to her?" Strange holds his gaze against Loki's with a new kind of intensity Loki hadn't seen in centuries.

"No, I have only observed." His tone wavered almost, as if he felt his own confidence weakening, but no, he couldn't be, at least not in his own mind. Strange knew better however. "Show yourself to her, talk to her, let her learn about the real you before you snatch her away from her true life. She may know you from films, but she must see past the facade, you must actually convince her." He pauses studying Lokis reaction with curiousity and knowledge.

Loki snaps his gaze back to Strange, a small smile and scowl fighting on his face as his mind spurs on the various consequences of Stranges proposal, "What if she-" "Tells someone?" Strange scoffs again, smiling back at Loki, "You forget, who would believe a girl claiming to see, A. a deity in her room, B. a famous actor in her universe, I doubt she would even say a word to anyone."

Loki tilts his head side to side as he glances down at the wood floors, shoving his hands in his pockets as he sighs dramatically, "You maybe correct, Doctor." The word drips off his tongue like a charming poison, almost mockingly as he stalks over to Strange.

"And what if I do not show myself to her? You will not bring her here?" Strange shrugs, nodding his head as Loki tries to tower over him, lazily so, he's still absolutely exhausted. "Pretty much, yeah, so I'd suggest you go now."

Loki smirks, throwing his hands up in mock defeat as he steps back, scoffing as he adjusts his well-tailored suit. "Alright, and when must I convince her by, Doctor?" Strange keeps his gaze fixed on Loki as he steps back, lingering around one of his many artifacts, "A week," "Done."

Note: SOZ IK ITS SHORT BUT I PROMISE NEXT ONES FINNA BE COOKIN, also this one was a bit jumpy on the pov i tried to show that but idk so hope you enjoyed!!!

[animecharacter]

blogging (pretty negative)

i fucking love wrestling. im so glad i finally got stuck in and started using my njpw world subscription and got to know hiromu. kind of kicking myself for not giving this a shot sooner and subsisting off aew alone for what...5 years now....but i cant change the past i guess lol. he just makes me so happy it twists my heart up

sorry i know its embarrassing. sorry

something about how he's had setback after setback but has pushed through it all and very deliberately does not let it get him down just really fucking Gets To me. like he is very honest about what hes gone through and is consciously choosing to not be miserable about it....if i think about it for too long i want to cry

i am Not parasocial about that man its fine and under control We're Fine (said to myself in the mirror)

i hope he's still with njpw by the time i can afford to travel to japan and attend a few shows. lol. i want to go to next year's sakura genesis or possibly dontaku and some of the road to shows (no way am i even attempting to buy tickets to tana's WK). naito leaving is making me anxious about what he'll do in the next 12 months but like......its fine im calm im not overthinking it.fuck

i'd like to talk to more people abt my wrestling nonsense but 1) making new mutuals is so scary especially wrestling fans bc like......what if someone disagrees with me LOL and 2) i would not force this interest on literally any of my existing friends like just Dont

anyway. sorry

ive honestly been in a really shit place mentally for the last...month or so idk. and i feel even worse about it because i don't have a good reason to be crashing like this. work is fine my home life is fine. so whats my fucking problem. but yeah im miserable tbh lol

being this low without a reason and the coping strat i am using for it (fucking guess) is making me feel like a teenager again and its embarrassing

im asking my doctor about options for a hysto tomorrow and very nervous about it. he's not a specialist in trans healthcare by any means so i have no idea if he'll even know what im talking about lmoa. but its something i want to get the ball rolling on

ive also been beating myself up over my hobbies not being creative enough like. idk. i want to buy a guitar again but all im gonna do with it is play other people's songs. ive given up on drawing, my motivation to write is really dry, i could design a website i guess??? but it's something i dont like about myself lol. i wish i was putting something meaningful out into the world and that my main hobbies werent just "consuming media" and "surviving" but i dont even know where to start with that

im at least glad i discovered shinsei kamattechan at the time i did bc they've rapidly become my favourite band and it feels good to have fresh music in my life again. i think this is my #1 favourite song now

because im motivated to save money for japan next year im trying to cut out energy drinks + caffeine. my head fucking hurts but im determined to do it permanently this time

idk like i just feel so fucking low and i hope it passes soon because i dont know how to get out of this one. hiromu and njpw is keeping me going and giving structure to my days/weeks and apart from that all ive got is like. needing to stay alive to feed my cats. so idk whats next

[joshy-tomato]

Arlefuri thing where it starts off with Furina talking to the traveler and the traveler is talking about how they saw Lyney at *insert place here* and Furina is like "wait why was Lyney there he was supposed to be at *insert second place* for a mission Arlecchino sent him on" and so Furina goes to interrogate him because at this point she's like a step mom for the House of the Hearth kids and she asks why he wasn't at the place Arlecchino sent him for his mission and she manages to find out that Lyney was actually given a completely different mission that was kept secret from Furina because Lyney and his siblings were doing tasks for Arlecchino because Arle wanted to do something nice for Furina and have a date with her and so she was trying to clear up her schedule by doing as much work as possible and had the children prepare her date for her while she was working

also I'm sorry if I've been bombarding you with Arlefuri asks, I've been sending a lot of them such as the long ask about how I imagined an Arlefuri relationship would develop, and the one last night about Arlecchino and Furina accidentally scaring each other. I'm not really into Genshin Impact and only got into it because I somehow ended up with a hyperfixation for Furina and then I ended up shipping Arlefuri and because I'm not really into Genshin I'm afraid of posting anything Genshin Impact related on my Tumblr page and then idk getting attacked by the Genshin Impact fandom about things I don't understand and so I saw you as a blog that liked Arlefuri and wanted to share my thoughts about Arlefuri. So if I am bombarding you I do apologize

Aww thats cute. Arlecchino spoiling Furina is always fun, and the kidos helping Father with romantic life is fun.

No need to worry about it! The ask dont bother me, I have fun with them and as long as you are having fun too everything is alright. Fandom and the internet in general can be mean and rude at times, so im glad to be a safe place to express yourself anon. And anyone else, really.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hey I have a possibly another, better..? idea👀 it's a Slenderbeing reader! but they like to travel the world, a LOT. and usually in their human form. but they are so in depth with their magic's capabilities it's almost near impossible to detect any magic sauce from them, it's like they are truly a regular human being. until they reveal themselves and give everyone a heart attack😂

The slender reader is also like a runt, they hate the height difference compared to average Slenderbeings, but low-key likes the attention :P

Any characters! Have fun n take your time!! :D

Various characters with a slender-being reader!

Again so so so so sorry for taking so long to get to this :(

I've kinda been mostly checked out mentally this week and the past 4 days spiderverse has taken over my brain and

Sobs

Anyways! Most of these are platonic leaning, but that's mostly because I couldn't think of anything explicitly romantic <\3 these also may be

Short since I'm kinda

Dry brain

No gifs for each character since it lags my phone and I ain't dealing with that rn <\\3

Slenderman:

Head tilt

Of course he knew he and his brothers weren't the only slender-like.. beings in this world

But he didnt expect to see another (that wasnt splendor or trender) enter his woods... that and he also. Never really left his woods save for a few occasions.. never really met another creature like him outside family

Huh

Hes curious, of course! He himself can only talk so much about his day to day life, being more or less binded to his forest.. so hes willing to let you talk his non existent ears off

Likes making crafts for you that remind him of your stories

Doesnt particularly favor one form over the other; though with that said he almost offed you when you first waltzed in, disguised as a human

Makes him realize he... doesn't know how to do that..

Splendorman:

Oooh how cute! You're so tiny!

On the flip side, hes met dozens of slender-beings, due to him bouncing around just about everywhere

Doesnt make fun of your height, bullying isnt cool!!

You both exchange stories about places you've been and things you've done

Sits down and looks at you with so much interest when its your turn to speak

Finds both of your forms adorable

Laughing Jack

"I didn't even know they made them this size!"

Ljs already a little shit, but hes going to be even more of a little shit around you being a runt

He'll try not to take it too far, but hes definitely got a problem with his filter

Due to him being bound to his box and being passed around Lj only has so much experience with different kinds of people

So even though he'll crack jokes and interrupt, he's willing to listen to a story or two

You can still be taller than him and he'll still tease about your runt status <\3

Eyeless Jack

"Oh.. huh.. you're like.. that one guy,"

In my au he lives in the same woods as slenderman but they hardly interact and when they do it's barely civil

Both are very possessive of their areas so... yeah

Asides slender you're the only slender-being hes met; he wont even know you're a runt unless you bring it up

If you do he'll just

Not care, I mean hes short too so??

Has a weird.. vicarious thing going on with your story

Hes condemned himself to being a hermit due to his curse, so he ends up naturally.. doing that with your stories and makes small suggestions on where you should go next

What having your normal life snatched away does to a mf

Masky & Hoodie

"Mini boss?" "Mini boss"/j

Masky is.. well my take on him hes a little.. funky.. bro is likely watching you from a distance and not really.

Interacting

Kinda freaks out when you reveal your true form

Hoodie is a little more tame and open than masky, kinda just

Signs and asks questions but he isnt too social

"Why are you so short??"/j

Honestly I feel like these two would take a long time to warm up; they're already distant enough with slender

Idk, I really dont have any ideas for these two 💔😔☝️

[paradoxbeta]

12 and 19

Your art style is fire, I need to know the secrets of your "meschanicesh/blockish/shape-ish" (idk how to describe it???) artstyle

thank you very much, thats nice to hear! im going to do these questions out of order though because the first one will take a bit longer to talk through

19. where do you find inspiration?

many places! sometimes i take pictures of cars with face-like headlight designs or normal objects that look like they could be creatures if i worked at them. if anything in the open catches my eye ill snap a picture of it. traveling and seeing new kinds of architecture is usually really good for my creative juices too so i like to look around a lot whenever i go somewhere out of the ordinary. a lot of the pictures that inspire me can be found in my #alien insp tag as well, even though thats to help me worldbuild my stellaris-fic-turned-spec-bio(?) thing its also usually filled with arrangements of shapes and colors that tickled my brain and that i hope to replicate the feeling of. i also take a lot of inspiration from how music makes me feel. more often than not though its just a random lightning bolt idea or a recycling of an old concept

12. describe your process while drawing

if i wanted to go in full depth this would be a very long response that would go all through how i color and do lighting and decide certain things and what i hope to achieve in character designs as a whole but to give you the answer in short, ill just talk about my sketches and how i use shapes, because i consider those two things the most important parts of my process. first of all my sketches are terrible. oftentimes theyre so vague that if i never make progress on them and then return a week later, i wont understand whats happening.

i mention this because i feel like i see people get wrapped up in making their sketch look good too often, and to that i say NO! an adequate sketch to me is something you could wipe your ass with! besides it helps me get the idea on paper while focusing on what i know i want to be the important part(s) of the piece.

for shapes:

yes, part of the reason why this ask took a little while to get to is because i was whipping up this and glass arena (the spikey one) was not cooperating with me and its sort of haphazard i know i know

but the gist of it is that generally what i will do is pick one or a select few dramatic shapes to dominate their design and then focus on accentuating that particular shape. sometimes as im creating a character, what that central shape is will change midway. i will also usually design the head of a character before the body, A, because its more fun, and B, since the head is small and also usually heavily reflective of the central shape, understanding exactly what shape i want makes it easier to make a body that works with/mirrors it (and then possibly make some tweaks to an already established head) instead of trying to figure out the head and body at the same time. i get that is not the ideal way to do it but i am also not a professional and sort of just winging it through everything ive ever done

im also at least somewhat attentive about the curves of lines which is what all of those red lines are for, the blue circles on glass arena and zmeu are to show where the lines concentrate. interestingly enough this sort of focal point usually isnt on the face but instead the neck because what happens most of the time for humanoids is that the (stylized) slopes of the eyebrows to the sides of the nose (or at least the form of a shape that represents this) creates a downwards arrow, which usually works well with an "upwards arrow" on the chest to sort of "pinch" the lines together at the point in between the head and chest. this is exactly what happened for them both, though for zmeu his downwards arrow is just his entire head. i dont usually draw the "focal point" but i see it in my head and try to make adjacent lines feed into it. some characters like am (semi-circle head) dont have one though, but there is still a general trend in the lines, you can see in her headshot i tried to make the lines be "parallel" or to flip/mirror the curvature of her headdress.

again i could go more into depth about my art process if anyone'd be interested in a fuller detailing, but it'd have to be a separate post. thank you for asking though, i like talking about my process!

[a-blip-of-billdip]

please, tell more about the Time Travels AUs on your writting app

this ask is so hilarious to me idk why

i love you

some of them will be guarded till publishing bc they cook too well and it's a family recipe. theyre basically all the same thing... just packaged slightly different. (and dipper would be at the minimum 17 in all of them)

present dipper being sent into the future where he and bill are now married, he has to come to terms with his future self's choices and process the fresh feelings from weirdmageddon. (would likely be in a world where bill has not yet reformed. when he reaches out to past/present dipper in the epilogue fic (bc yes im planning this one pretty extensively) trying to manipulate dipper into giving him a body... dipper just readily agrees. he knows the future he could have and WANTS to help bill get there)

future dipper being sent to the past/present, choosing to hide his and bills relationship until absolute last minute. he shares he is in a relationship, but refuses to share with who. Terrified that if he does say something, his past self will freak out and destroy the future dipper's worked so hard to build.

bill sent back to the beginning of weirdmageddon in that timelines body. would be super short and almost like a nightmare, just forcing bill to come face to face with one of his many atrocities. weirdmageddon would be much worse in this version, with people actually dying and being permanently injured.

^^^^ alternate version to that; bill sent back but in HUMAN form. forced to relive it but from the eyes of the people he's grown to care for. forced to be a victim

future dipper sent back to weirdmageddon with the goal of stopping bill. permanently. His timelines bill betrayed them all and was worse than ever.

newly reformed bill sent forward in time to when he and dipper are married (similar to the very first idea, but reversed. it would explain why bill would have a change of mind about humans)

past bill sent in the future, where he attempts to kill dipper. (+bonus au of him actually succeeding and future bill coming back to find dipper murdered by his own hands)

tbh i feel like dipper being sent into the future and having to process his feelings and get to know this different version of bill who actually cares about him is one of the BEST explanations for billdip (where dipper is forgiving and willing to hear bill out).

it creates this lovely little paradox of 'well...what actually caused them to get together in the first place if dipper was only swayed by this future bill???'

it shows him how much change really is possible. i dont think dipper could ever get with bill without this core belief that people can grow, that BILL has the potential to grow.

We already see him have this mindset at the end of the series where he tells mabel 'people have to grow up, we have to get older'. change is fundamental to dipper's mindset.

anyway rant over thanks for hearing me out

[aerisleis-fics]

For the WIP asks: you know I love a good soulmate AU :D I'm curious about Sefikura because that one's not usual for you!

<3 so! the sefikura soul mates au has been talked about (briefly) but I'm happy to chatter about it again bc its weirdly. Stuck in my brain even tho it ISNT my usual. idk how long it's going to take to materialize bc I dont know Exactly how I want to bring it to life.

The basis is very generically "love doesn't solve everything, actually" in the general vein of, it doesn't take back the fact that the two may hurt each other, and it doesn't heal the wounds. Love is work, etc.

(the original notes passage was

Love doesn’t conquer all, actually. like. as a concept. but my brain will not hand me wtf it wants to Do with that but like just. I love you more than I love myself etcetc but this doesn’t fix us, it doesn’t get us out of the mess we’re in and like to clarify not even entirely in the. in the. “must be a bad ending” kind of way but in the, it takes more than loving someone to make it work. and I could go on about like. loving someone being a Choice not a feeling. a choice made every day to keep trying to keep working, etc.)

On less broad-philosophical view it's a combo of pain-sharing and first words soulmates, where the first words said Directly to a person by their soul mate is written on them and also they share pain. I imagine it's not uncommon for people - especially SOLDIER and/or Turks - to hide their soulmark, and in fact their uniforms are perfect for it if you go for a standard on the arm or really in most places on the body!

Yes, this does mean Cloud's young life was a nightmare thank you for asking (joking). Cloud wanted to become a soldier to become a hero, but also to travel and meet people... he didn't put a lot of stock in his soulmate, though he gets relatively unique words on him ("have you ever tried ginger for it?") so he's sure he'll Know when the time comes.

Sephiroth, on the other hand, barely noticed his soulmates pains, so assumes His must be a civvie tucked away somewhere, and due to the incredibly generic statement figures he'll never find out who they are ("no sir"). This changes, sort of, when Cloud and Zack are in the helicopter crash, but he kind of assumes it's zack. (he can't remember the first thing Zack said to him, but it wouldn't have shocked him if it was a no sir of some kind, honestly.) He doesn't say anything. They're good friends, their lives are on the line every day, there's no reason for him to ask for more.

Cloud finds out on the transport to nibelheim that it's sephiroth. Cloud, entrenched in his inferiority complex and the fact that they're literally on a mission keeps it to himself.

The moment Sephiroth realizes he was wrong about who his soulmate is the moment he impales Cloud on masamune during the massacre.

Canon ensues anyway, it's too late for the trajectory to change, after all.

But post canon, after AC, after DoC, Sephiroth returns, again. The future is unwritten for them - but what can they possibly cultivate in fields that have been flooded with blood over and over?

Oh. And this snippet you can have it too

Tifa, very upset and frustrated along the lines of “you can’t possibly forgive him- you can’t possibly expect us to forgive him! He killed so many people! He killed my soul mate right in front of you!” And Cloud is just. so tired. Before that there was a line - I wish I’d made notes but I was literally in bed asldx;kfj anyway a line about “I’m not asking you to forgive him. I’m just saying. I’m tired. And he isn’t doing anything wrong.” But anyway he just kind of sighs and “And I did nothing to stop it. I know, I was there.” “This isn’t about that-” “Of course it is!” “....I mean maybe I’m a little worried he’s influencing you again-”

[junk-culture]

5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. 5️⃣❗

now wtf is the 5 times table doing in my inbox... ! teehee... this is a lot of questions and my answers are lengthy so under the readmore they go:

5. Favourite band: HMMM this shouldnt be a difficult question but i feel like im always indecisive/struggle to identify an Absolute Favourite Above All Others...... i think i have to say depeche mode because i like them enough to have paid £[redacted] to go see them...they are definitely one of my big faves anyway........ i will add bastille as an honorary favourite simply because they are the band i have liked for the longest... i started listening to them as a miserable 14/15 year old so you know. that kind of band is eternal and forever even if i don't quite like all of their latest stuff/don't listen to them absolutely all the time etc. actually the jam are maybe tied with bastille for that sort of formative band so let's say them too. sorry i can literally never give one single answer LOL 10. Favourite model: uhm unfortunately i dont really have one im not really into following fashion or models....idk....but recently i started watching the x-men movies (cringe) and i kind of got the hots for halle berry a bit so ill say her. ik shes an actor but she started off as a model so it counts. honorable mention also to the sony d-e350 in gold . a very very sexy model (of cd player) :

15. Lucky Number: It seems there's a typo in the questions post because they've put 14 twice instead of 15....I don't really have a lucky number although I sometimes see people with aesthetic blogs posting about angel numbers or whatever and im like i could get into that........ i guess any number can be lucky if it appears in a certain moment or is recurring... since 14 appears twice in the question post ill say 14. and its a pretty good number anyway

20. 5 things you love: ONLY FIVE? BUT I LOVE SO MANY THINGS ABOUT OUR BEAUTIFUL WORLD...! well to name a few: 1. mai friends (physical and virtual) ^_^ 2. BRIGHT GREEN GRASS IN THE SUNLIGHT 3. art. drawing. its my essential activity i have to do it its awesome plus so important in the world for everyone 4. when you're travelling home on the train from a pleasant day out somewhere and it's really sunny and you have a window seat and the music you are listening to is just right for that moment and its just so the beautiful world. you know? 5. shagging ur mum LOL !

25. Favourite blogs: UMM im sorry im kind of too lazy right now to like tag people plus i feel a bit shy doing that anyway but basically all of my mutuals etc...... <3 and the smug jug blog also 30. Someone you miss: hm...i don't know if there's any one person i Strongly miss but there are a few i vaguely to moderately miss. idk. such as: - my mother occasionally - not my irl best friend as such because shes still here lol but moreso i miss hanging out regularly like we did when we were teenagers? like now we're both adults and in different cities and she works full time and im either working or studying and she has a boyfriend anyway its like we dont hang out that often... many such cases obviously but i miss the time of seeing each other every single day at college and walking home together...and especially because id love to do that all over again Now when im like. a lot happier/more functional/more "normal" than i was when i was 16/17 lol. but its the way of the world what can we do - i guess i sort of miss an internet friend who disappeared .... it wasn't exactly unexpected because we always were aware of the possibility and i know its simply how such things go but i wonder how they're doing sometimes...plus we exchanged physical mail and gifts so now its like i just have these objects in my home that are from a person who i no longer talk to lol....

THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THE FIVEPILLED FIVEMAXXER!!!!! :)

[6of575]

my goal is to try and make at least a post a day on here, even if its nothin very interesting to anybody else

i feel like,,, if i can finally successfully make it a habit to post and engage, it might just trick my brain from task avoidance

so! post done and heres the part for me thats fun:

(under a cut since its ramblin long)

the books im currently reading concurrently are some conlang construct books mr am got me that have been on my wishlist for ages, along with a very cool book about black holes and theories surrounding them, which mr am loaned to me from his collection

one of the things we share is a love of science and space, and more specifically, stars and time travel and all the things about our known universe that black holes straight up break

i have a lot of fun chatting with him; i really cant overstate the value of a friend so genuine, who i am never too much of, and i can talk about all my interests without the reflexive dread creeping on in

all that bullshit i learned growing up, yanno the kind: "im boring, im dumb, who could possibly enjoy swapping rock facts, much less listen to hours of it even when it our interests DONT align"

like, theres so much else about my friendship with him thats meaningful, but thats top tier right there

and lately? ive gotten a few others in my corner, who when i share, im starting to feel like that with them, too

its so weird! to have gone from one person to a tiny community of folks (and i mean little! its like,, five? six? of us max usually) that thrive on a love of the weird and the cringe and the stubborn hope

plenny others have waxed more eloquent than me about this sorta thing--how fandom spaces come sorta pre-fab with common, shared interests that its fans bring, and they build their fort and theres rules already laid out, and it becomes a second (sometimes first) home, of sorts

but when its starting from scratch, when its about stuff and is made by people that others just wouldnt ordinarily invest in or look at without outside prompting, thats not the same! its not a bad thing, more neutral, but its stressful, its really such a lonely feeling

except--when you finally find it, that person, and thats a community of its own, and it can grow, and suddenly you swappin stories, throwing jokes! and memes and links and hey inevitably, theres also those what ifs about your little guys

and everything is srs and sacred and everything is hilarious and "i cant believe this is real life" levels of stupid

you get to learn habits and quirks and whole personalities

"hey this reminded me of you" "hey, check out this view" "oh, thats right, yer the possum dude" "you love medieval lore--and i read this, and what do you think about it, too"

its suddenly kind of a fandom space after all, and its like, still work of course, reaching for and keeping more and being a person with, it aint that neat or pretty

but its got warmth and joy and expansion, after a lifetime of making yourself small enough to try and fit

you end up fans of your friends, fans of their life, hyping each other up and up and up about the most mundane shit and it starts to look like not even the skys the limit

planning things to do together, spending long hours into the night to parallel play with vidgames or watchin movies like time aint nothin thisll last forever, right? (it doesnt, always, but thats also part of this, and the ones that stay, the ones that work with you

those are the ones waking up to backread your chats like its the morning newspaper

and your life matters

like its better than the best hot goss, its saturday morning cartoons and their favour ice cream flavours

only now we adults and its also commiseratin over breakups and bills, and cross-country moves, and its celebrating that i saw chickens in the yard today and you finally got your boygirlthemsomethin gender fuckery juice)

idk idk idk

i feel some kinda way about all that

i never thought id make it so far that im nearly forty

never thought id get to ask "okay, well, now what? what do i wanna do, and try, and be?"

im... starting small i think, and im for reals happy, happier than i have been in years; i learned how to be alla my friends biggest fans, and im starting to finally believe

other people can feel that way about me

i just really think thats kinda neat