#don't you have better things to do 😭
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Sorry I really didn’t mean I’m attacking you or your ship. I also don’t think it’s a red flag, most gay men I saw don’t really like shuggy either. I mean, probably the entire world prefers any other shanks ships? On almost every site, con or store there’s always tons of mishanks and Bennshanks and never shuggy. I get it’s also about dynamic and connection those two pairs have, like with the parallels to other ships the base for them is extremely strong. But the minimal shuggy does speak volumes. I genuinely wonder about this. Shuggy is unpopular and again while I do agree there’s strong connection between “rival ships” I don’t think that’s the only reason… and like…. Buggy is ugly, isn’t he? He doesn’t have cool style, doesn’t look cool, makes ugly faces all the time, also is a coward. I like him as comedy character and shanks brother though!
I understand where you're coming from when you say Shuggy is unpopular amongst some people (actually, before anyone says anything. It IS an extremely popular ship in Japan but I have seen A LOT of hatred towards it in this side of the fandom, so that's what I'm talking about when I say it's unpopular). I have talked about this before. And I have said a lot of times that the reason why is often because people only focus on looks and Buggy is not conventionally attractive for the fangirly twinkified sexualized gaze numerous sides of the fandom and the general audience seek. Like, I am not forcing people to ship them, but I have had people admitting the only reason they don't is because of the looks, and I personally believe that is a very (despite valid, of course) dull way of seeing ships. And respectfully, I don't care that other gay dudes or all the people in the world agree with you. It's not a red flag to not like Shuggy, what it is a red flag, though, is to come into people's inboxes to do what you're doing!
I know you don't mean to attack me or anybody who ships them but your tone does wonders showing otherwise. Your perception of shipping is just based on looks and the fact that you came here, to a blog that explicitly ships these characters and is fond of Buggy, talking shit about one of the characters' looks... Is just straight-up mean and not following the social etiquette this site should follow, which is "let people do whatever the fuck they want".
So with all due respect, what makes you think I won't find your questions offensive in any way? Because you keep talking bad about a character I like in my inbox for literally no reason. Do you expect me to admit that the ship is unpopular because Buggy is ugly and boring? Well, I do admit people view him as ugly and only a comedy relief, but I don't. Expecting others to find beautiful and interesting the same things you do is having a very close-minded vision that One Piece's plot itself is against.
By the way, you're showing that you clearly don't like Buggy in the slightest because you're only talking about the traits that you find negative about him. But of course, you like him as comedy relief. Of course, you like him as a character in Shanks' story and not as a character himself. Despite Buggy having lots of depth. Your perception of these characters seems, in my opinion, extremely empty and, as I said, only based on looks. And you're free of shipping whatever you want however you want! But please, please, don't do this anymore. This is just petty high school mean girl behavior. Even Regina George would word this in a more polite way.
So, as a little advice for you, let people ship whatever they want without questioning their favorite characters! I am sure you will live a more peaceful life!
#this is my polite way of saying get the fuck out of my sweet sweet peaceful inbox !#i think i made pretty clear in the last ask that i did not agree with your views and that your tone was pretty much attacking me and others#and also???? NOT COOL??????? BUGGY????? ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME CHARACTER#ONLY COMEDY RELIEF?????????? sweetie you did NOT read chapter 1082 or. well. understand buggy's character at all#and to answer what you said in the last ask: no i do not think shanks should be with someone prettier bc shanks wants to be with buggy#and also who said shanks is the pretty one in that dynamic damnnn he is not the one who pulled cross guild let me tell you#okay i am being meannn i love shanks you all know i do but uhhh#buggy's character design and story are like. extremely way more colorful and interesting and it's obvious oda loves him so damn much#and nothing against you seeing them as brothers btw that's a reasonable view of the dynamic but#the wording makes it seem like you just care about shanks#and sending these asks to someone who obviously cares about both but is extremely fond of buggy is so ????#why#like why would you do it#don't you have better things to do 😭#not even gonna tag this as shuggy bc this is triggering my rsd and god i am sorry for the people reading this#i love you shuggy shippers mwah mwah#ask-bean!
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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.
#disability#this is a callout post about myself#i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned#turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly#i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack#(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker#and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller#and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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Quick and rough Plumeria redesign, mostly just cause...... I gotta do what comes naturally to me, man. Give me some Shapes. Simplify that design or so help me.
I don't have a lot of complex thoughts about it, actually! Just the idea of having a "sexy" outfit that draws the eyes to certain parts of the body -- while simultaneously being modest and Sharp. Having an edge to it. Also!!!! The luna moth inspired wings!!! I wanted to stay within her og color palette, but I've also always thought luna moth wings would suit her... the top wing is vaguely heart shaped, too!
#fire emblem#feh#i don't feel like taking a better pic sorry 😭#also. the most fucked up thing i'm learning doing this. is that (at least for the main four base forms)#yoshiku's color palettes Actually Work. fucked up. insane. i ALMOST added my own colors#just a hint of purple. and it fucked everything up?????? ALSO THE WINGS. THE WINGS#ARE ESP FUCKED UP. BC. IT WORKS. the red yellow orange blue. it fucking works. what the fuck.#LIKE one of my biggest frustrations w the fairy designs is they feel Samey color pallette wise.#that if it were up to Me. i would pick four distinct palettes to work with and try not to overlap too much.#literally just the fucking. tinkerbell pixie hallow treatment. everyone gets a signature color and we go from there.#but like... I GUESS TECHNICALLY EVERYONE DOES???? IT'S JUST. the Overlap.#like mira's pink/greens feel samey w plum's reds/greens. and esp from memory plum and tri pallets just blend together for me.#and peony and mira have the same purple eyes. a lot of green overlap in general. and i love green#BUT... SOMEHOW....... the color pallets. Work. fucked up and evil#also i'm not immune to the toothed pussy motif. that's what that little detail on the dress slit is supposed to invoke LMFAOO#AGAIN. IT'S ABOUT THE SHARPNESS. of drawing the eye and refusing to reward you for it if that makes sense#idk idk. i also just feel like plum should have an elegant look.#design not final though i'm just parsing it out. ALSO THE. THE SHARP ALMOST CLAWED NAILS. HUGE FAN#i was def worn out from my current project though. sometimes. you just gotta design a fairy about it.#fe plumeria#my art
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"It's normal for siblings to fight" Okay well it's not normal to be extremely classist and look down on your sister for being non-conforming. Or to go to the woman who ordered the death of your pet to tell her about your father's plans, when he specifically warned you against doing so, because you want to marry the boy you saw attack your sister and her friend (contributing partially to said father's death and your sister being unable to escape on the ship he chartered). Or to think of your sibling as unsatisfactory in comparison to another when you believe her to be dead. I notice that none of the "Sansa and Arya are going to reunite and instantly have no issues" crowd ever acknowledge any of this, which makes it seem like they don't actually believe what they say about their relationship being normal and easily reconciled. People wanting them to have no issues simply because they're siblings is another example of how fandom likes to flatten complex characters and relationships. They get reduced to being bickering siblings when their conflict runs deeper than that. If the author is telling you that they have "deep issues" to work out [X], I don't understand being so adamant about ignoring said issues. I also get the sense it's about ignoring the capacity for a certain character to be flawed, but that isn't going to change the fact that her "slip of the tongue" is very likely to be revealed and a source of further conflict 🤷🏾♀️
#arya stark#sansa stark#house stark#asoiaf#also if it's so normal for siblings to fight then why are you guys losing your minds over us theorizing they won't get along??#the amount of condescending /that's just how siblings act/ takes I see 🙄#sorry I guess? that we read the book and don't just delete parts of the story because we find it convenient?#it's not even like takes about them being enemies is widespread the most I see is that they aren't instantly bffs when they reunite 😭#some people theorize they'll never be close but guess what? that's a completely fair and valid assumption based on their relationship!#personally I think they'll have a sweet reunion before the issues they have inevitably surface again because while they've been through#a lot they haven't fundamentally changed as people or the values they hold#and I think that's going to be very interesting to read about!#I can't figure out why people always take the most boring bland route for how things will play out#mostly because people seem to be unable to swallow the concept that Sansa is a flawed character who isn't perfectly sweet all the time#and the fact that their conflict is instigated by Sansa's classism#which is funny cause in the grand scheme of things her being mean to Arya is such a mild thing that opens the door to a ton of growth#never seen anybody but stansas equating her being a bully to her sister to her being evil/a villain#all we do is point out that it exists in the story...people in this fandom have no concept of nuance I stg 😭#anyways they're both complex characters and their conflict is interesting and I hope we get to see how it plays out#cause it's definitely going to be better then that trash d&d came up with 🙏🏾
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I know this is 100% my personal problem and idk if anyone can relate but as an afab person with some weird gender shit going on I kinda hate it whenever dnp make jokes like "you know us we don't like pussy/tits" etc like 😭 I love that they have fully healed from the comphet "fyi I like vagina" era but I hate being made to feel like a Woman™ because of my anatomy if that makes sense. Like my brain interprets it as "we don't like those traits because they make you a woman and we're gay" idk it gives me like a weird wave of dysphoria every time they say it 😭😭 the first time I watched BIG I interpreted Dan's monologue about "I don't care what kind of anatomy you've got going on, I don't feel attracted to the signs on bathroom doors" as being like trans inclusive but I fear he's walked it back with these constant jokes dsdfghjkl and to be clear I'm not saying anyone is obligated to find me or my body type attractive like that's not what this is about. It's just the equation of genitals/anatomy with gender idk. And this is not even really something that's specific to dnp and I know there's a lot of discourse about genital preferences or whatever idk idk maybe I should've just sent this to phannieconfessions and allowed everyone to take it in the worst possible faith over there. I just need to get it off my chest
#im still trying to figure out if i should book an appointment with a gender specialist#i do have a gender dysphoria diagnosis on my file#but one of the things that's held me back from wanting to try T or whatever for such a long time is this fear of not passing#or of like not fitting into anyone's ideal of gender#like if i were to go on T and start presenting more masc. would that even make me feel better#if i still had to constantly listen to people saying “yeah but you're still a woman tho bc you don't have a dick sorry :)”#i know they're just joking but people on here certainly seem to take those jokes very seriously idk and I'm starting to take it to heart#as well i guess#i need to get back in the fucking gym im so skinny rn and it's making me feel even worse#I've been having trouble eating lately and I've lost a few kg. my arms are so skinny i fucking hate it here#sorry I'm relistening to the stereos and dan made a “we don't like slits” joke + i got like 3 hours of sleep bc i woke up with a migraine#and I'm losing it a bit idk#turning reblogs off because i know this is the piss on the poor website and ppl will decide to interpret this as#“im gonna kms unless dan and phil tell me they wanna fuck me” dssdghhfdjkljhjll 😭😭😭
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I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...
Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.
I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.
I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.
Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D
I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬
Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D
#I have these same feelings with Medea and Medusa and so many others. Penelope too. Let them do something fucked up just to be fucked up#I'm a “god forbid women do anything” in the sense of 'she did a fucked up thing. That's why she's fascinating. Don't take her awfulness#away from her!!! please! I wanna study her under a microscope!'😭#PLEASE#...I actually kind of don't like the idea of her actually caring about her nymphs :P maybe she “protects them” but like...#I see her as a “Why are all of you dancing? Oh. it's a birthday? hm okay. Just make sure your duties are done.” while not caring#whose birthday it is. She's not really shown to be close to them during the Odyssey and idk just seems in character for her to not give af#save me morally gray circe#<-making that a tag now because...yeah. She absolutely wouldn't save me though.#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#anti madeline miller#anti circe#<-THE BOOK! I HATE THE BOOK! LET HER BE AWFUL YOU COWARDS#Why do women need to be SA'ed to be strong Miller?! >:(#...Ima say it. The pathetic wifeman is more relatable to me than Hot Snake Monster Lady when it comes to this stuff.😤#I just sincerely hate the fact that people erase what happened to him you know? It's silly but it means a lot to me.#Also I think she got bored of him immediately and simply let him chill at her place.#She's a goddess. She's got better things to do and she absolutely doesn't love him and he absolutely doesn't want her.#I don't have with Eugammon btw. He's dead and I'm exaggerating but I STILL hate the Telegony >:(#tw sa#kind of??? idk#barely mentioned but yeah#Calypso though?? Yeah. I hate her in practically everything except Pirates of the Caribbean because that's not Odyssey Calypso
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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this looks like a long time but initially it said 1 MONTH 15 days
#i think i will just have to grab cutscene footage from online... im not waiting for that sh... lmao#this has me admitting that i'm not a gamer and left that identity behind some time ago... which is kind of sad but ok#thoughh when witcher 4 drops... 😈#oh my god i typed witcher 34 instead of witcher 4. i think that already exists on the internet LOL#i'm actually not as excited for w4 as i am for the remaster of the first game#i also don't have any saves and i need footage of like some late-quest stuff (just for a mention of lore inconsistencies LOL)#like what do i do go beat tw3 AGAIN just to get a clip of ciri facing the white frost#...................... well........#ok ngl actually a shot of emhyr in the beginning of the game would be better to explain 'lore inconsistencies'#because that's probably more aggravating to me than the 'we changed the white frost so you can fight it' thing#that thing is understandable. that's like basic video game logic. antagonists can be fought...#and though i don't like that messaging that forces of nature can be fought...#i understand this is a AAA game with outcomes that need to be written as endings. it's not an experiential VN#emhyr in tw3 though has just annoyed me and has actually annoyed me ever since i found out his character from the books#after all that you're gonna take him and pretend he just wanted to be a better dad and have a good heir on the throne...#well ok he did want a good heir on the throne. to be fair. just. not ciri but her child ... ahem#tw3 just dropped that pregnancy plot like a hot potato 😭 because it's so uncomfortable#without vilgefortz to decapitate in the end and the lodge actively plotting around i admit it loses its meaning#also to be fair tw3 does not have that throughline about reproduction and destiny that the books do#like the begetting of progeny is a huge huge huge theme in the books and so ciri's storyline is just one of a few ways it comes up#without geralt and yennefer specifically being angsty at the start about children it doesn't really work as a plot for ciri later on#the elbow-high diaries
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the thing abt mental illness that sucks is. the stuff that people tell you makes it better doesn't actually always make it better in the moment. and it's hard when ur low energy but i think a lot of people get this idea of "it doesn't help so i'm not going to do it" but sometimes you gotta reframe it and see it as like. okay this doesn't make it better but it's also not going to make it worse. like washing your face might not make you feel better but it also won't make it worse. gentle exercise won't necessarily make you feel but it won't make you feel worse. going outside isn't going to fix anything but it also won't make it worse. trying to see them as neutral things rather than a magic cure. and the thing is over time when these things build up and it becomes routine, it DOES make it better. but it takes time and consistency. in the meantime though it won't make it worse.
#obviously easier said than done#aware i am on the Lack Of Critical Thinking website so don't be taking this as ableism i have chronic illness too 😭#but after. 7 years of having depression with ups and downs. it's so frustrating to hear the same advice#where ppl are like just exercise just eat healthy just go outside etc#because those things do not cure depression. BUT. when you're able to do those things regularly it makes a huge difference#it's just not an immediate solution so it doesn't FEEL like it's Making It Better#but having created a routine where i'm doing skincare and going to the gym most days it has improved my mental health SO much#but it took MONTHS of that being a regular routine before it made a difference#and no it is not easy. especially if you struggle with fatigue etc#but when you do enough small things that Don't Make It Worse. eventually it starts to help make it better#and etc
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will forever have a soft spot for chloe cause yeah dawg i get it we can try to avoid becoming attached out of the overwhelming fear of being abandoned again but miserably fail together
#she's not the best person ever#but no one is#and i'm not excusing a lot of her actions#like the way she acted when kate called max will always leave me biting my fist out of frustration#but people love to just stare at the surface n focus on the parts of her that aren't great#n don't bother to wonder what got her there#the part that jumps to conclusions and does things out of pure selfishness#and that part that doesn't really think things through...#like shooting that damn bumper#but i GET IT#putting so much trust and love into people just to have them disappear on you especially if you dont know if its intentional#not getting closure can do SO much damage it's not even funny#n it legit can just make you feel like an idiot when you look back like#why did i try so hard just to end up alone#like this girls life went downhill at the age of 14#she just like me fr 😭😭😭😭😭😭#no but#it's hard not to feel like the worlds against you#even at the end she acknowledges that she's been selfish#SO#i don't like believing that she chooses to be this way yknow like#i truly think that she believes acting like a hardass all the time is the only way she'll be able to get by anymore#she lost her dad n then max n then tried again with rachel and then lost her#i'd be fuckin insane too#girl just doesn't wanna be hurt anymore#there's better ways of coping and acting but overall i get where she's coming from#n ill always save her bc i genuinely believe that she deserves a second chance#to live her life and find happiness again#life is strange#chloe price
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Kind of a rant
In Japan, being a public disturbance is reallyyyy frowned upon and if someone is, it's pretty common that a stranger will scold them. Usagi and Mamoru's dynamic in the first season gets misunderstood, because that sort of thing doesn't really exist in the US. Usagi's primary setting is "public disturbance" and Mamoru coincidentally keeps being the person who scolds her. Americans just see it as bullying because the idea of a stranger scolding you (for something *you* did wrong) is foreign to them. The US is individualist but Japan is collectivist, so there's more accountability for bad public etiquette.
people are just constantly like "why is he bullying her😢😢" during scenes where usagi is breaking like 5 massive social rules at once. for context, some japanese social rules that will get you scolded if broken would be: yelling, talking loudly, sitting on the ground, crawling, throwing things (duh), running, bumping into people, and eating while walking (you could run into someone).
when mamoru makes fun of her for "stuffing her face" or something, he's not criticizing her for eating, he's criticizing her for eating while walking.
basically, the concept is "what if the person who is rude in public and the person who scolds them ended up being in love haha". it's really not that deep, like it's just silly. usagi ignores basic social rules, and then acts dense when she's being scolded, so the five year olds at home can be like "haha that's so silly. also i shouldn't eat my candy while walking so i don't run into people like she does".
these interactions are a comedic way to teach young children everyday etiquette, basically. and mamoru's scolding being completely ineffective and making the issue worse adds to the comedy
(i do think gently explaining to her that she's bothering others is what would get through to her, but that's not very funny and would be really anticlimactic so.. also her character arc is literally about being less self centered and taking others into account more, like these fights are thematically important too.)
#I FEEL LIKE THIS IS AN OBVIOUS THING TO EXPLAIN BUT PEOPLE REALLY DON'T GET IT..😭😭😭#if he's “bullying” her that means she's completely innocent like..#is throwing your shoes around in a crowded area safe behavior??#SHE LITERS TOO WHICH IS SUCH A NO NO AND EVERYONE IGNORES IT..#she pesters public service workers#she is such a mess and people are like “lalala i don't see it”#it's actually miraculous she doesn't get scolded more#mamoru doesn't scold her because he wants her to suffer or something#it's because he feels responsible when she does something wrong and wants her to do better#do you have to agree with it? no#is it a social norm? yes#is it bullying? no#does usagi pretend it's bullying to wriggle out of being accountable? yes#does scolding work? not on usagi#is it essential to the story? YES#sailor moon#tsukino usagi#usagi tsukino#mamoru chiba#chiba mamoru#rant
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Sketch I accidentally put too close between other doodles
#i gotta get better at figuring out where battle scars would go... esp bc i'm so detailed about moe all the time LMFAO#one thing about the moefonse dynamic. is i think each envies the other to a degree.#in my notes i once described alfonse's feelings about moe as seeing an angel.#a beacon of the beauty life has to offer and hope. the magic and awe of seeing someone who is overtly and unapologetically queer#the beauty of seeing someone just fagging it up. with attitude. outspoken and crude.#writing that note was extremely funny though like. moe? we're talking about the same guy?#my shitass fuckhead homunculus who has every disease? guy who failed in every facet of life EXCEPT for the Bad things?#bc that's all it is and all it ever will be? a bad fucking thing. that guy????#well. it's a matter of perspective... perhaps.....#another focal part is how each have made all-or-nothing sacrifices to live the way they live.#alfonse will never be his own person so long as he's a prince and eventually king. he will always be whatever he Needs to be.#but he's also someone who's wired in such a way that. this makes sense for him. this IS what he wants and embraces it#esp for the good of all. 'those w power should use it to protect those who don't' (ashnard interaction)#that's his mentality. that's what he believes in. that's what he's going to embody no matter the cost.#meanwhile... moe. well. you know about moe. it's a tale as old as time for queer people unfortunately.#endlessly complicated on moe's end as well. the way it both resents and envies what alfonse is able to do.#idk i can talk about it forever. but i gotta organize my tags here i CAN'T HIT LIMIT 😭😭😭#moe tag#fe alfonse#moe lore#summoner oc#my art
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i miss germany, i miss the euros, i miss june
#the past month has been so overwhelming 😭😭#i miss my life.......#like i am excited for school but i don't feel like i got to say goodbye to what it was before#i think i expected july to be chill time with friends#but i had so much to do to prep#and my friends have been busy or away or dealing w shit#and so i feel like i've barely gotten to spend any quality time with anyone i care about#since june really#and that trip to germany was so so perfect#so much quality time with so many people i care about#(i miss you guys!)#and it's been so fucking hard to find time to even keep up with my messages and phone calls and ugh#i just feel so ungrounded and disconnected from my friends and who i am#which is so frustrating because i know that like a month ago i felt so FULFILLED#so connected to my friends and my family and my passions and my work.#and yeah i guess this is just what life transitions are#it was always going to be hard to suddenly be around so many new people#i just already feel the temptation to retreat into my existing relationships and i don't wanna do that#but how do i already miss all my friends so much 😭😭 it hasn't even started#ugh i just had an annoying evening and haven't been sleeping well and am tired#i should go to sleep. i'll feel better in the morning#bella things
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Failed a social interaction 0 injured 1 killed (me)
#Today has been so long 😭😭😭 I've been out the whole day studying and when I came back I spent more than one hour to cook my probably gone–#bad chicken (and rice and spinach) and then I couldn't even eat it because it was my turn to clean the kitchen at the dorm (which is the–#third following day I'm doing) (worth mentioning I'm running on 5 hours of sleep)#And I was goofing around with my friends but while doing so I. made fun of the landlord. And then one friend told me “hey girl he's right–#outside” and like 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I hope I die painfully. I need to be back next year and he already makes my life hard enough and hhhhhhhhhhh#I wasn't even like. Serious. It was just to joke around with my friends I don't have anything against him (except for the things I do)#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#And now I feel so embarrassed I have no appetite at all + the chicken (which I had to bring home through one hour walk in summer which–#probably wasn't good for it. And then froze one day past the expiration day) (I really need to get better eating habits) I had been–#preparing despite taking one hour to cook it I got the firing wrong and now it's all hard and honestly not very good and like 😭😭😭#Look at what you did to the (frankly already diseased) chicken#I feel so betrayed by everything 😭😭😭 Can life get a little easier#I'm mostly kidding I'm doing okay. I just need to rant because I CAN'T GET OVER THE LANDLORD THING MAN HOW DO I FORGET ABOUT IT.#This kind of things always haunts me for at least three days so 😭😭😭#I'm dead tired but I really wanted to answer asks today so. Probably doing so between today and tomorrow#Rant over sending lots of l love 💞💞#random rambles#In my defense it's not my fault I'm too poor to throw the chicken away 😪😪 I haven't eaten since forever#It's also not my fault I can't afford a new non sticking pan so I have to stick (ah) to the probably toxic one#It is very much my fault for messing up the chicken cooking temperature tho lol
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I was watching this Chinese variety show just to see Ricky and Zhang Hao but then I saw one of the hosts was Zhang Zhenyuan and now I want to cry… 😭💔
#He... Teens In Times deserve better you know?#I keep trying to accept that this is how China is and C-Pop doesn't need to do anything that K-Pop and J-Pop do but#The more I think about it the more unfair it seems... 😢#These Chinese idols train so much and when they debut they just don't get promoted#They don't releaze anything on YT and they just go to variety shows alone and this is it?#That's unfair! This is not why they trained for!#No wonder there are so many Chinese idols in K-Pop it's like “if you want to debut you have to learn Korean and live in SK”#Which is fine if they like SK but what if they don't want to leave China/Taiwan/Hong Kong?? 😭#Guys there's Chinese idols even in J-Pop nowadays!! They really said “I'd rather debut anywhere but China”!!#Again... not saying these idols don't like Japan. Just that they CAN'T CHOOSE whether they want to debut abroad or in their own country!#Even if C-Pop tries to do a little bit like K or J-Pop (ex.: BOY STORY BOYHOOD WayV and the now dead EXO-M)#Their companies DON'T PROMOTE THEM!!! They literally don't invest any money to promote their groups!!!#I'm still not over Asia Super Young and Loong9 in case you didn't notice... 🥺#But... Yeah... I just wish Teens In Times got more rep and that I could just turn my TV on and watch them TOGETHER#And that they had MVs and on YT and etc. (Basically everything I've seen J/K-Pop idols do)#But maybe that's just the K/J-Popper in me and I have to accept that China is China and they owe us nothing#Just because we're interested in East Asian culture doesn't mean they have to all do one thing like the others just to please us!#I will still (try to) stan TNT as much as I can (and as much as they allow me since I speak no Chinese)#Specially ChengXin 🥺 my darling#not kpop or jpop
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