#don't you hate btw when you got those days where you just can't get into drawing?

[o0kawaii0o]

On a break, what are they talking about?

[alastwhorez]

idk if ur taking requests but i thought i’d throw a concept ur way !! imagine alastor fucking u in his demon form, or rather him going into his demon form while he’s already fucking u. that thought plagues my mind everyday (luv ur writing btw !)

That Boy Is A Monster

♡ Pairing: DemonForm!Alastor x Reader

♡ Summary: Alastor loses all control

♡ Warnings: 18+, MDNI, p in v, oral, monster fucking, blood, Alastor’s demon form, masturbation, I think that's everything

♡ An: Thank you so much for the request. I had so much fun writing this. I hope you enjoy! Not proofread, possible spelling errors.

You are on your way to Alastor’s radio tower. Your feet stomping with every step, you're furious. Alastor’s has been avoiding you for the past three days and you don't know why, but you're about to find out.

He has acted normal with everyone else but you, maybe a little more snippy than normal but that's about it.

You don't bother knocking on the door, instead just swinging it Open. You were expecting to see him working on his show but instead you are met with the sight of him with his pants down, cock in hand. His jacket is off, the first three buttons of his shirt undone, his bowtie is undone, just hanging around his neck, and his sleeves are rolled up.

He doesn't notice you came in, continues to stroke his cock. You stand there shocked for a moment, and a bit embarrassed for walking in, but the feeling is quickly replaced with that of busy.

It's no secret you harbor a crush on the radio demon. You've been enchanted with him since you came to the hotel.

You continue to watch as he throws his head back, His face flushed. He curses under breath. You watch him struggle to get off.

You watch him for a few more minutes, an ache starting to build between your legs. You rub them together trying to ease it but it isn't working. You take a breath And decide you can help the both of you out.

You walk over to his chair and kneel down, he finally notices you when you touch his thigh, jumping and looking down at you with a glare on his face “what the hell are yo—”

“helping” you say as you replace his fist with your own. He relaxes slightly but is still a little tense, not too sure about what you are doing.

It was no secret Alastor hated touch unless he was the one to initiate it, even then he still wasn't fawned of it, but his cock ached so bad, rubbing it for hours it seems and nothing, the ache just getting worse and worse.

Alastor watches as you take him into your mouth, his clawed hand finding your hand and pulling it into a ponytail. He's close, he can feel it but he sees you rubbing your thighs Together and being the gentleman he is, he can't let you suffer like that. Now can he?

He pulls you up and sits you on his desk in front of him, being careful not to press any of the buttons. His Hand slid up your legs starting at your ankles till they got to your thigh where he spread them apart.

His face is in your hair. He slowly inches his hand up higher, pushing your skirt up in the process, “is this okay?” You nod your head.

Alastor feels his senses leaving his body. He knows he isn't going to be able to control himself soon. All he can think about is cumming, but if you're willing to help him then he should be willing to help you.

He drops to his knees, eyes meeting yours asking a silent question, you nod and he lean in close to your covered sex. He licks up your covered cunt and leaves open mouth kisses. You whine and he has to hold back a chuckle. He's barely touched you and you're already so needy.

He decides to stop teasing you and pulls you panties down, pocketing them, he can use those later when these “urges” arise again.

He starts slow, kitten licks, and kisses. You moan softly, but it isn't enough. He watches you and you bite your lip, face flushes.

He licks up you,flattening his tongue before focusing on your clit. He licks, kisses, and sucks until you're withering above him. You try to find a place to put your hands and he grabs them, placing them in his hair. You pull as moans fall from your lips.

He shoves his tongue in you, thrusting as his thumb takes over the work on your clit. You grab his antlers and are they bigger than normal? You can't think straight anyway so maybe you just don't remember the size of them.

Alastor is basically Making out with your cunt at this point, leaving sloppy kisses everywhere. You feel yourself reaching your peak. You look down and see Alastor’s Eyes already on you and are those radio dials? You definitely don't remember those being there before. Hell, the only time you ever see them is when he is angry. You worry for a second that you did something to anger him, trying to pull away but he grabs your hips and pulls you Flush against his face, growling as he does.

It feels so good you don't even notice his antlers are twice the size now. Or that his hands seem larger than normal, claws sharper. You get lost in the pleasure and start grinding on his face. He groans as you hump him, chasing your own pleasure. He feels his cock jump.

You cum all over his face, screaming his name as you pull on his antlers trying to stabilize yourself. Alastor stands and that's when you finally notice how much taller he is. The demon was always taller than you, by a good two feet almost, but it looks like he's grown another foot or two.

Your panting, trying to catch your breath. Alastor lines himself up at your entrance. Rubbing his cock up and down your cunt trying to lubricate it, you look down and that, that's definitely bigger, is it even going to fit?

You winse slightly at the stretch but the burn feels so good. You throw your head back and Alastor starts at a brutal pace. You feel yourself stretch even more and you look up at Alastor And notice his antlers take up almost the whole room, and he's so tall he is hunched over so he doesn’t bang his head on the ceiling. He has a crazy look in his eyes, his smile is stretched so big it's almost terrifying. Well it would be if his cock wasn't pounding into you.

He slams his hands onto the desk beside you and his claws dig in, puncturing the metal and ripping it apart. Fuck that was hot. You start moving your hips to meet his thrusts.

He bends down and you grab his antlers once again, pulling. His face is in your neck and you feel his teeth graze the skin before he sinks them into you. You moan though you don't know if it's from pain or pleasure. You feel blood run down your neck then his Tongue lapping it up. His clawed hands are on your waist, guiding your thrusts, you can feel his claws pinch the skin. You're sure your top is probably ripped.

You cum all over his cock, squeezing him and trying to milk him.

He growls and has his voice always had This much static to it? Fuck he's giving you a voice kink now.

Alastor shoots ropes and cum into you cunt, you milking him of every drop.

You both lay there, panting. Alastor pulls out and you whine at the loss of being so full. When you open your eyes to look at him again you see him going back to his normal form.

He fixes your shirk and hair and helps you stand on shaky legs. Neither of you speak, having a mutual understanding. No one can find out about this. You leave the radio tower legs still shaking. Alastor throws himself back in his chair, pulls out your panties and inhales your scent.

Two days later the hotel is under attack because Mimzy showed up with loan sharks after her. It is also the day Lucifer decided to come for a visit.

Alastors form turns into his demon one once again. Taking care of the loan sharks. Everyone is talking about how creepy he is and that they wouldn't want to run into him in that form at night, but all you can focus on is the ache building in between your legs and if you can convince him to fuck you in this form again, and maybe this time he can use those tentacles on you.

[lxdymoon0357]

Hi, Navi! May I request some headcanons for Felix Chamberlain from I have become the hero’s rival with a transmigrator!reader who just wants her favs to be happy and to have a peaceful life too, but somehow gets the magician’s attention anyway? It would be interesting if one of the original male leads had interest in the transmigrator!reader, though it’s all up to you! :)

Felix Chamberlain X Transmigrator! Reader HCs

▼ You were ECSTATIC to be a transmigrator and that to your special manhwa!! You were definitely gonna help Irene, Claudia and Felix and you really wanted to see Irene and Felix's love bloom in front of your eyes and luckily you were a middle-class person and you applied to be Claudia's playmate or something...

▼ You quickly got close with her and Irene and you three were the ICONIC trio!! and you quickly became friends with Felix as well, you'd help Claudia escape the male leads as much as you could by remembering the manhwa!

▼ And you slowly started developing feelings, before it was for him like a fictional character, but now for real....But you were afraid that after this finished, you'd be thrown back into your real world, so you didn't act on your feelings...

▼ You became very close with them and eventually told them about you being from another world, Irene was VERY happy to learn someone was from her world, and you couldn't bother to explain to her how she was also a part of the manhwa, so you went along with it!

▼ Also Irene was mean to end up with Felix, right? Yeah, it's not like the manhwas you read where you might end up with the character when their love interest is RIGHT THERE! But he seemingly never got close with Irene in a romantic path and neither did Irene...and this confused you...

▼ Felix would love to bond with you by asking you how you used to live, what you used to eat, where you lived, what you looked like...and whom you dated, yes he's jealous of them...don't worry...

▼ And soon you confessed and you started dating, it was such a big thing for Irene and Claudia who had been shipping you two since day 1 and Lerase himself was quite happy as he seemed to have taken a liking to you as well...

▼ He would love to hear stories about how you lived, how things are different in your world and whom you hated and loved and liked or some random stories from childhood...He wanted to know what you are like before you came into his arms in this world.

▼ He would have a portrait of you painted on what you looked like before, and he gets a smaller copy on a page and he sleeps with the smaller portrait beside his bed! He can not get over the fact you looked so cute!

▼ Irene and you would often reminisce on how life was before you came here and how much you miss things from back then, but you both are so utterly grateful to be here and be in love with the Chamberlains...Yes, Irene liked Claudia...

▼ Oh btw, Benjamin took a weird liking for you and Lerase apparently didn't like that....and crushed his skull in his bare hands, of-course you didn't see him crush his skull, but you were there during the aftermath and god in your eyes does Felix look hot covered in blood...

▼ Oh you got Irene and Felix and told them how in the original story, Irene and Felix were meant to be together and how they both....yeah...of-course those two looked a bit grossed out and a felt a bit weird, because first, they don't like each other, they like Claudia and you respectively and they can't honestly see themselves together, no matter what you say or do...and you honestly find it funny and bring it to make the two cringe up and look grossed out...

▼ Claudia loves to hear about the pretty dresses and what women can do and can't do in the modern world and how much people wanted her and Irene to get together and sh's happy to hear that

▼ In all honesty, it's a adventure everyday with the trio and you being with them! Double dates, double couples and quadrouple trouble~

[yooglefics]

Reveal — Part two: editing

Pairing: Yoongi x fem!reader ( camboy!yoongi x camgirl!reader )  Wordcount: 1,735 words Genre: 18+, mdni, remainder to not use fanfics as your only source of sex ed. Summary: Yoongi is just helping a friend help you, but is he even supposed to listen to this?. Part 2 of Reveal: recording. Read it for context. This is just why and how we got to that ending. More warnings under read more.

Includes: Mentions of selling sex content. People recording sex acts. Mentions of sexual activity ( doing things and also talking about doing things and thinking about doing more things ). Mentions of past and not past masturbation ( f and m ).  Dirty talk? I guess?. Sprinkle of possessive yoongi? Is not my fault i sweaaaar Author's note: Remember when I started writing something short and silly lmao, what a time. Btw, I have never used OF so if something I say about how they use the website is actually not true / completely wrong just pretend please lmao. Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to write Yoongi's side, hope you like it! If you do please remember to leave a comment, reblog, ask, follow and what not. Thank you for reading <3

Saturday is probably Yoongi's favorite day of the week. No waking up early, no work, and not worrying about having to do any of those the next day.

That's why he groans when his phone rings with messages from Jungkook. He knows is him because he is the only one who still insists on sending him a million messages instead of just one. 

Love the guy, but he can be annoying.

The fifth ring comes and hopping is the last one, Yoongi finally reaches for his phone and rolls to his back. 

JK: hey JK: are you awake? JK: and free today? JK: i need a favor JK: yoongi?

Yoongi: with what? If I have to leave my house is probably a no.

Both of them know that actually, even if it ruined his plans of relaxing, he would say yes. Because that's what friends do.

JK: no no. You can do it at your house  JK: I need to edit an audio for my friend JK: but I'm on the schedule today JK: and if I don't send it back quickly she will back out JK: please? 

Yoongi: ok. Send it to me. Yoongi: you own me, tho.

Throwing his phone on the bed, he gets out of it to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, getting ready to sit in his studio for at least an hour. He knows is probably a bit extra to use his expensive equipment for whatever this favor is, but if he is going to help, he is going to do it right.

Opening Jungkook's messages on his laptop, Yoongi almost wants to laugh at himself.

JK: [ killmepls.mp3 ] JK: is and OF thing, btw JK: don't listen to it in public lol

Yep, definitely Poducer Min equipment is too extra for this. But, fuck it.

The archive is already downloaded when he opens the software, starting a new project and naming it the same as the audio plus final, to not get confused. Plugging in his headphones he starts playing it, already noticing whoever this is, is pretty quiet at the beginning and he would most likely have to cut it off, still, he listens to make sure.

A few taps followed by a “hi..” is the start, and he chuckles at their giggles.

He decides to let that in, but cuts the next few seconds where only their breathing can be heard along with some clicking and fabric moving. Is too long of a pause for this kind of thing and the clicking gives a way they weren't ready to start. Sure they wouldn't mind.

They put music on? It sounds familiar but is pretty fade out, so he can't really be sure, and then “This angle is kinda…” 

That's him.

That's his voice.

“Hot,” the voice continues before he can rewind.

“You can't tell me I'm mean anymore. I'm spoiling you,” his own voice travels again on his headphones. “I'm giving you this view and I'm giving you what's probably the thing you all ask the most: hands.”

What is this? Some kind of joke?

Did Jungkook put them up to this?

“I hate him. I'm gonna sue him,” 

That gets a laugh from him, even if he is still confused about what is happening.

Maybe it's just his imagination?

Should he ask his friend?

More movement of fabric. Maybe bed sheets or clothes. More breathing, a bit faster than last time and then, a groan. 

He can leave that in.

Wait, that's right. He is supposed to be editing this. He has to go back and…

“This angle is kinda…” his voice says and he hits pause. Is really him. Is that possible?

He feels like he is imagining things.

“Jungkook, I swear if this is some kind of joke or something,” he rambles taking his phone out.

Yoongi: did you listen to it?

JK: no, didn't have time JK: why? something wrong? JK: don't tell me it can't be used JK: she is gonna be sad :(

Yoongi: who is she?

JK: dunno if i can tell you 

Yoongi: technically I'm doing a favor for her. I think is fair 

JK: good point JK: is afterhours(y/n)

He opens a new tap on his laptop, goes to the website and searches for the username through his followers. And sure enough there it is. Subscribed a month ago.

He clicks to see your perfil. The first post he can see without being subscribed is a picture of a lilac lingerie set on a bed with the caption “very early birthday present”, from a week ago. 

He considers subscribing to see more, but he stops himself from clicking, remembering Jungkook didn't even want to tell him who you were. Oh, shit. What would you do if you knew it was him editing your audio? Would you back out? Or be sad?

Now it feels kind of wrong, like if he were invading your privacy.

He clicks around on his computer again, audio track back to the zero seconds mark. He hears the “hi” and the giggles and stops it before his voice appears. 

“Okay, this is going to be posted. It was recorded with the intention of being posted for people to hear,” he reasons. “If it's not posted I'd just forget about it and if it is… I'd… subscribe? To make up for listening?”

Clearly that part is not completely made up on his mind, but he doesn't have to decide what to do right now, he has to finish editing. And so, Yoongi clicks around the software again, cutting and deleting another section, the one where you can hear his voice and even his music before.

That's it. It was a familiar track because it is his. He composed that himself to put in the background of his videos exclusively. He figured putting his own touch would help if something was posted outside his page, never imagining hearing it in the background of someone else's video or audio was even possible.

It shouldn't affect him this much. After all, people touching themselves to his videos is half the reason he likes making them. What can he say? Is a turn on to have that effect on others, it builds his confidence up.

But actually hearing it is different. 

Groan and fabric moving, a bit too close to the mic he considers doing something about it, but “I want you to touch me,” is the perfect whisper. Just the right volume, just the right words.

No more audio of SugaD can be heard now, you probably turn down the volume of the video or pause it. Yoongi is curious about it. The idea of your sounds being a reaction to his past self is doing things to him, and Yoongi would like to ignore them before getting too distracted, but is kind of a boomer not knowing exactly what your reactions are for.

Maybe he can open his video, it wouldn't be hard for him to synchronized it with your audio and—

No.

That would cross the line. Is enough that he—

“Are you hard?” your voice continues, timidly he thinks. 

Is this your first time doing this? That's why you couldn't edit yourself?

What would you do if you knew he was listening and his dick was calling for attention at all your little sounds?

He stops your recording, considers taking a break, going back to bed. But he knows just forgetting about this would be hard and in the end he would have to come back and finish helping.

He unpaused it.

More moans echo throughout his headphones and he fixes them on top of his head, as if that would help him concentrate. You just sound so pretty, and when you plead he wants to give you anything you ask for, his dick twitching with desire.

He could just— no. That'll be wrong. Is enough he is letting it affect him this much, he can't just—

His leg bounces under his desk, hand glue to his mouse even when he is just listening now. Only stopping and going back a couple times to fix the volume of background noise, making it less or more obvious depending on the flow or your moans.

A groan of his own cuts the silence in his studio when you form words again. “It feels so good, oh god.” And Yoongi wishes he knew what. Wishes he could see you, could touch you. Could make you sound and feel that good in person.

“Uh uh,” short moans leave your lips, and it sounds so much like you're agreeing with his thoughts he really considers sneaking a hand down his pants. Allow his mind to wander and imagine what you would look like under him. Or on top. Or just coming undone by him.

But he doesn't. He just listens to your recording, your breathing, your pleas and your cut out warning when you cum.

“Fucking hell,” Yoongi angrily whispers. And for a second he considers doing the SugaD special of cutting it out of the final audio, but that's too selfish.

Or perhaps is more selfish leaving it. Considering he wants the world to hear how you sound when listening to him.

Yoongi managed to leave the studio without touching himself. But is not really as impressive as it sounds since his hand is on his dick the minute he goes back to bed after listening to the final edit of your audio one last time. The excuse of being just to make sure is perfect is just that, an excuse. And your pretty sounds replay on his head while he jerks off until orgasm.

JK: thank youuuu JK: she says thank you too!

Does that mean you know he was the one editing it?

He opens the app on his phone, looks for your perfil again and debates a couple minutes his options. 

What's the worst that can happen? You blocking him? He would understand, but if he actually doesn't do anything, doesn't play his chance, he wouldn't forgive himself.

And so, he subscribes. Page refreshes instantly and a new post greets him.

[ afterhours(y/n):

Surprise, surprise. Is my birthday month but I keep spoiling you, ain't I the best? 😝 

      [ VoiceReveal.mp3 ]

                                                                         ]

Doesn't even have to listen to it, his fingers move on their own, “the cutest”, he comments.

♡ Tag list: @m00njinnie , @sexytholland , @seoullove96 , @thelilbutifulthings , @disneyprincessshuri ,

( is hereee! I appreciate u guys hehe <3 ) ( if anyone else wants to be tagged in the future, let me know )

➪ Part one. | ➪ Part three. | ➪ Updates for this verse | ➪ Ko-fi

➪ Main masterlist. | ➪ Updates in general | ➪ Request & chats ♡

[mountkennedie]

Image

Blaise Zabini x fem!Reader

Summary: Blaise takes you as his date to Slughorns party

Warnings: swearing

ENEMIES TO LOVERSSS

<I want you to imagine your own dress btw (i couldn't pick one 😭)>

A.N. I've had this in my drafts since the beginning of 2022. That's why it's in my old format :)

______________________________________

"(Y/L/N)" Blaise said, walking up next to you, "have you been asked yet?"

"Asked for what?" You responded, walking into the classroom, Blaise holding the door.

"A plus one for Slughorns party, tell me you've heard," he said with a small smile.

"I haven't actually Zabini, why do you ask?"

"Because I have been saving my plus one," he said, taking a seat next to you.

"Have you been saving, or have you finally worked up enough courage?"

He chuckled and then said, "I was planning on asking you, but since you've shown your disinterest..."

You signed, "Since you're just BEGGING for me to say yes," you looked up at him, "I'll go with you to Slughhorns party."

"Good, I'll pick you up at 5:45pm" he finished. And you just gave a small smile in advance.

Time for the big questions, first being, what were you going to wear? You were lucky Luna was also in need of a dress for the occasion.

When you both left hoggsmeade, only Luna was successful in finding a dress. None of the ones you found worked or were beyond your budget. You could always ask around if someone had a dress, but you'd hate if Blasie knew you were doing so much for him.

Upon returning to your dorm, there was a dress bag and a note on your bed.

Don't thank me. This is just a gift from my mother, let me know if it doesn't work. And don't ask where I got the measurements. You're welcome.

-B.Z

"How did he even get in here?! I thought only girls could get into the girls' dorm?"

"Well (Y/n)," Luna began, "Does Blaise not have any female friends?" Who does he have 'working for him' in Ravenclaw? Doesn't matter. As long as he can't get in, it's fine.

Once you tried on the deep green dress, you wanted to chop him to bits. The dress was beautiful, and I fit you so incredibly well it freaked you out a bit. How did he get your measurements? You had to get out of it immediately, or else you might not ever take it off.

When you saw Blaise again on your way to charms, he walked beside you again. "I'll take it fits well?" He began.

"I thought you told me not to thank you," you retorted.

"I also said my mother wanted to know if there were any mistakes. Were there?"

"No, there wasn't. It was strangely a perfect fit. However, you got those measurements..."

"Weren't you told not to ask?"

"Keep your secrets, laundry stealer."

"I didn't steal your lau-"

"Oh sorry, this is my class. Bye Zabini." He just sighed and walked off.

Finally, the day came. It's not like you were excited... you were just glad it was coming to a close. This time, as you were walking to charms, Blaise seemed oddly cheery. "Whats got you smiling so hard?" You asked him.

"Shut up, just remember 5:45pm tonight."

~

You couldn't deny that you loved what was chosen for you. The green silk on your skin was electrifying. You weren't even a slytherin, and yet now you looked like the top of the house.

Promptly at 5:45, you heard a knock on your door. You opened it to find your date clad in a very expensive looking tuxedo. It was definitely curtosey of his mother also. He looked you up and down swiftly. Then, he spoke in a smooth tone, "You look lovely." He extended his arm to you, "Shall we?"

You took up the offer and began to head to Slughorn's party. The walk was silent but not too tense. You weren't that nervous. You were aware of the others going, and it brought you some ease.

-

What you did not expect was to have a good time. Or that Blaise was such a good dancer. He held you like he'd been practicing many times. Likely from having lessons, of course. But in those lessons, do they really teach the first partner to hold the other so close?

Either way, you enjoyed it, but you knew not to tell him. He had had enough of an ego already.

As you both approached your commen room door, Blaise sparked one last conversation. "I enjoyed tonight. You stepped on my feet much less than I thought you would."

You scoffed and decided to play along, "I say the same for you."

He smirked. A genuine moment of joy. It brought one to your own face. He looked at you for a moment before responding. "See you tomorrow. (Y/n)."

"See you tomorrow, Blaise." He took your hand and, while maintaining eye contact, kissed the knuckles. He didn't leave you a moment to respond before leaving you to get inside your common room.

~

Bonus:

"Luna, you know on the note for the dress it said 'don't ask how I got the measurements'. How did he get them?"

"I gave him your clothes, of course!"

A.N. I don't plan to write anymore hp fics after this. Just wanted to get it out of my drafts

[deathbyyoongx]

stuck with you; part 1 — myg

╭ parts: 1, ...

╭ word count: 5.2k

╭ summary: After your best friend Hoseok told you you could stay at his place for two weeks, you couldn’t help but be more than thrilled. A studio in the middle of the city, away from home, and close to every club you loved to go to? It couldn't get much better than that. However, when you heard the news his roommate's plans got canceled, you soon realized you had to spend those two weeks together with none other than Min Yoongi. It wouldn’t have bothered you if you had to spend two weeks together with a hot guy, but unfortunately for you, you already knew Yoongi from high school. 

And he absolutely despises your guts ever since.

╭ pairing: yoongi x brat!reader

╭ genre: smut, just smut, okay maybe a bit off fluff, can't help it

╭ warnings: enemies to lovers, angry/stubborn yoongi, y/n is an aboslute brat but that's the usual in my fanfics, ex-friends from high school, he hates you but you don't really know why, back and forth bickering, drinking, hair pulling, name-calling, hate sex (?), spitting, hickeys, slapping, voyeurism, being stuck with a hot guy that secretly would love to fuck you for two weeks, ...

╭ author's note: I had to put some fluff into it, I couldn't help it. It's the hopeless romantic in me. Also haven't reread it (24/08) I'm tired.

btw, use InteractiveFics for a better reading experience ;)

“Are you sure about this, Hobi? I mean, the man despises me.” Today was the day you would stay over at Hoseok’s shared studio apartment. It was only a few rooms away from a full-on apartment, which you were not complaining about. The plan was, that both Hoseok and his roommate Yoongi would be on vacation, which meant that you had this lovely space all for your own. But of course, fate had other things in store for you when you heard that Yoongi’s plans got canceled. His friend got a bad stomach ache after eating at some shady place downtown, pity. If this news had come to you a few years ago, you would be more than thrilled. Yoongi and you used to be good friends in high school, so the idea of spending two weeks with him wouldn’t be anything to worry about. But ever since college…things changed between the two of you.

“Look, I promised you could stay over and you’ve already adjusted your schedule to it as well, so he’ll just have to get used to it. And besides, it’s not permanent, I’ll be back in two weeks. He’s usually in his room anyways, so he won’t be bothered by you too much.” Hosoek explained, trying his best to reassure you about the sudden change of plans. “Plus, he agreed to it so-”

“Yeah, when he was still planning to go on vacation himself. But none of us expected his plans to be canceled because his friend ate a bad lobster.” You felt bad for the friend, but at least the doctors said it would be alright. But still, now you were in this sticky situation.

“Yeah, that's very unfortunate.” Hoseok said pitifully. “Plus, how bad could it be” That’s when you both heard the sound of keys unlocking the front door, which made you turn your heads at the same time. While Hoseok didn’t change anything in his behavior, you on the other side tried your best to stay cool and not to think too much about it. But god, did this make you nervous. Especially since it has been a while since you’ve seen Yoongi. The last time you saw him, he was rocking that bowl cut, which did look undeniably cute on him, but that was already five years ago. Where did the time go? Now you were both in your early to mid-twenties, so you knew that he wasn’t going to be the same boy from before. So when the front door finally swung open, you were captivated by Yoongi’s change of appearance over the years. Fuck. He was painfully beautiful. He grew his hair out, and the back of it even touched his shoulders. He traited his bowl cut for a middle part, and fuck, did it look good. And even though he was only wearing a hoodie and a pair of jeans, you noticed how broad his shoulders had become. Yoongi briefly looked up, and that’s when he finally noticed your presence. It was of short due because your eyes only met for a second before he looked back down. “Oh, good. I was just planning to leave-” Hoseok quickly spoke to defuse the obvious tension.

“Enjoy your holiday, Hoba.” Yoongi quickly said before locking himself in his room. 

“Very bad, alright.” Hoseok looked at you, almost apologetic that this was the situation you had landed in. “Make the best of it.” Was the last thing Hoseok said before hugging you goodbye. He grabbed his luggage and headed out of the door. You just chuckled to yourself. If this is how Yoongi wanted to be me, let him. You were going to enjoy yourself, whether he liked it or not. 

Day one went by faster than you expected. The best option for you was leaving that grumpy man alone for the first day, letting him slowly accept the situation on his own. You just went to the bar with your friends, enjoying the fact that everything was so near to you now. You still lived with your parents, but you were slowly earning enough money to move out. It was just a matter of time. That’s why Hoseok did you the favor to stay at his place while he’s on vacation. He only suggested it because he knew Yoongi would be away as well, not knowing that his plans were short-due. Besides the fact that out of all people you were staying at their place, it’s the fact his expensive vacation got canceled that made him extra annoyed. Leading to situations like you bumping into each other, saying ‘hi’ to Yoongi, and him completely ignoring your ass. Nice. But today was day two. Another day of playing another game of: will Yoongi finally speak one word to me, or will he act as if I don’t even exist? Let’s find out!

So there you were, sitting on the couch Tuesday morning, eating your honey cereal as you were watching one of your favorite shows. The sound of Yoongi’s door opening up made your ears perk up, making you turn your head to the right to look at his sleepy figure walking towards the kitchen. "Good morning." You greeted, but without any luck of getting a greeting back. You child. “Hope you slept well.” You turned your head back to the television as you listened to Yoongi grabbing something out of the fridge and heading back to his room. “Great talk.” You said in a sarcastic tone, mouth full as you heard his door slam shut again. You knew he was a stubborn little guy, but you weren’t planning on giving up. Maybe he still needed some more time to cope. Yes, that’s obviously the answer.

[10:18] y/n: Joonie

[10:18] y/n: Wanna go on a coffee date with me?

Namjoon was one of your best friends, who is conveniently enough also friends with Yoongi. You could always go to him for advice or just a good time. I bet he knows what to do with Yoongi, right? 

[10:21] Namjoon: of course

[10:21] Namjoon: I’ll pick you up around 12

“I tell you Namjoon, he just fully ignores my ass whenever I’m there. It’s like I’m a ghost.” As soon as you two sat down in the little café down the street and ordered, you started venting your heart out about this whole ordeal. “I’m real right?!” You started poking his cheek, making him scrunch up his nose and telling you to stop. It made you giggle.

“I just think he needs some time…maybe. He really started disliking you ever since college, you know.” Whenever Namjoon talked, he sounded wise. Even though he wasn’t that much older than you, he managed to sound like he had years of experience. “I never really knew why though, you two seemed to be good friends before.”

You took a quick sip from your coffee and quickly regretted it since you burned your tongue. “I know right?! It’s super weird. Besides Yoongi, is Hoseok the only one who knows, but he doesn’t want to tell me.” You sighed out of defeat and a pout formed on your lips. “I don’t remember having a fight or saying something inappropriate to him, so I have no clue what the reason is.” You took a moment to think and recollect your memories, but there wasn’t one that could indicate the reason for Yoongi’s sudden hatred towards you. You graduated high school one year after Yoongi, you went to college, and all of a sudden he stopped replying to your texts and avoided you at all cost.

Namjoon softly smiled as he gently placed his hand on your arm. “I know he’s stubborn, but he can’t ignore you forever. You’ll get through him one way or another.” His words were warm and sincere, making you feel more at ease about the whole situation. “Besides, you’re stubborn too, so I know the only option is for him to talk to you eventually.”

His comment made you laugh, ‘cause you knew it was true. “We’ll see.” You sighed. “I just feel bad for him that he needs to live with someone that he heavily dislikes. I wanna make it up to him, you know? One way or another.”

Namjoon thought for a second, stirring his little silver spoon around his coffee cup. “Maybe Hoseok’s knows what to do? You can always text him, he won’t mind”

A hopeful smile appeared on your face. “You’re right, but enough about me! How have you been? I heard you started writing a new book, that’s exciting!” After college, Namjoon started writing books. His first one wasn’t as successful as he hoped to be, but he had not lost heart, and luckily for him his last release was a hit. It’s kind of impressive how fast he could come up with new ideas. He also had a very poetic way with words, so to you it was just a matter of time until he got recognized.

“It’s going okay. I have a bit of writer's block, but I’ll get through it. And coming out of the house is fortunately one of the key factors of breaking it.” He smiled, his dimples shining through. The sudden buzz of Namjoon’s phone caught the both of you off guard. He fished his phone out of his bag, letting out an annoyed sigh as he read the caller ID. “It’s Jungkook, this is gonna take a while, sorry.”

Of course. Jungkook, your mutual friend, was known to keep himself busy with things that he knew he shouldn’t. You were just wondering in what kind of trouble Jungkook got himself into this time. 

Day two wasn’t as successful either, but you weren’t planning on giving up. Besides, Yoongi and you used to be friends. Weird, right? Yeah, sure, it was high school, but you didn’t expect him to change his demeanor towards you that much. Besides, what could you have done to make him hate you so much? That’s why day three, you decided to ask for some help. And hey, the third time’s a charm, right?

[17:41] y/n: hobi istg this man doesn’t budge

[17:42] Hoseok: It's that bad huh?

[17:42] Hoseok: Maybe ask him to drink with you? I’ve never seen him say no to alcohol

[17:43] y/n: bet

Now you had a plan and all you had to do was wait until he got home. You just had to ask him to have a drink and he will finally be nice to you, easy right? So tonight, you decided to stay home, trying to socialize with Mister Grumpy. You were patiently waiting for him to get home as you were watching TV again. It was already 22:05, so he would arrive any minute now. So hearing the magical sound of the keys turning in the keyhole made you as ready as ever. “Welcome home, you wanna-”

“I don’t know why you keep on trying, but if it wasn’t obvious yet, I’m not interested in talking to you.”

Excuse me?! “Excuse me?” If Yoongi’s first sentence wasn’t enough to make you offended, his cold tone only added to it. Yoongi however, just ignored you again. He took his shoes off, took something from the fridge, and just went to his room again. You just scoffed before you yelled “Look, it’s only for two weeks. Then you’ll have your precious Hobi back.” But the lack of response made you even angrier. “It’s also not my fault your plans got canceled, so no need to be so mean!” You just pouted in your seat, not sure what your next move could be, if you even had that. Should you just ignore the fact that Yoongi was ignoring you? Absolutely not, you still had 11 days left with that bastard. So when day three arrived, you decided on a different approach. 

“Yoongi, can you-“ And with that, he closed the door in your face. Nevermind. You thought if you were more direct, he would finally be less of a jerk, but alas, you were wrong again. The weather seemed to be in your favor, however. It had been raining cats and dogs ever since this morning, meaning you were stuck with one another whether he liked it or not. You planned to stay in the living room for the entire day, so whenever he needed to leave to get something, he had no other choice but to be in the same room as you. But Yoongi wasn’t naive, he knew what you were doing. So this morning he grabbed enough resources to keep himself fueled for the day. The bastard.

But there it was, a sign from above.

It was already close to midnight when all of a sudden you heard a certain man curse every curse word you could imagine in the comfort of his own room. Not only that, but the living room light suddenly shut off, leaving you alone in the darkness with the only light source being the one from your phone screen. But before you could fully comprehend what was happening, Mister Grumpy had finally left his room. “Did you turn the electricity off?!” 

You couldn’t help but scoff at his accusation. “First of all, I don’t even know how to do that. Second of all, how dare you accuse me of such a thing! I’m not that desperate for a man's attention…” You nagged. “The power just cut off. I bet it’s from the storm from outside, but maybe you haven’t noticed it since you locked yourself in your room all day.”

“I have a window in my room you know-“ A loud thunder interrupted Yoongi’s sentence. “Jesus.”

You placed your phone away, looking sheepishly at Yoongi who was wearing an oversized black shirt and gray sweats that didn’t leave a lot to the imagination. “I guess you’re stuck with m-” But before you could even finish your sentence, Yoongi was already heading back to his room. Oh no, I don’t think so. You bolted out of your seat and jumped in front of Yoongi’s door, blocking his entrance. “Not so fast!” Even though his annoyed expression was enough for you to move out of his way, this was just a perfect opportunity that you couldn’t let go to waste. “You wanna drink with me?”

Yoongi scoffed at your suggestion, crossing his arms as he spoke to you. “Why would I wanna drink with you?” 

You forced a smile. “Because Hobi says you like drinking and we are gonna be stuck with each other for some time.” You explained. “Besides, because of the weather the internet is cut off. So I need some sort of entertainment.”

“So you only wanna talk to me 'cause you are bored.”

This bitch. “Ugh, stop being such a drama queen. You’re the one who keeps ignoring me.” How dare he imply that you were the reason you guys haven’t properly talked the last four days? “Now sit!” You said in a demanding way, making him well aware you weren’t planning on backing down tonight. Yoongi just did as he was told and placed himself down on the couch reluctantly. Pleased with your accomplishment, you quickly headed to the liquor cabinet, grabbing the first bottle that seemed decent to you. You placed it down on the coffee table, together with some glasses, but by Yoongi’s expression, you could tell he was not pleased.

“You got the wrong one.” He spoke softly.

“What?”

“This is the cheap alcohol Hobi picks for parties and stuff. Wait-“ You and Yoongi switched places, you sitting down on the couch and he headed over to the liquor cabinet. He rummaged through it for a few seconds, quickly swapping the previous bottle with another one. “Here, this is the good bottle.” As Yoongi placed the bottle down, together with himself on the couch, a good distance away from you, you couldn’t help but notice it seemed a lot more expensive than the previous bottle. 

“You ignore me for days, but at least I deserve your expensive liquor.” You say backhanded. It didn’t help the he-hates-my-guts situation, but hey, you couldn’t help it.

He just scoffed as he poured a drink for the both of you. “Need to enjoy a quality drink if I want to tolerate talking to you.” He handed one glass to you. “Here.”

“Ah yes, of course.” That made more sense. You accepted the drink, waiting for him to clink it. “To a lovely night.” You said, forcing a smile again. You noticed he did the same before you clinked glasses, simultaneously taking a sip from your drink.

By the way you scrunched up your face as you took your first sip, Yoongi quickly realized that you usually didn’t drink stuff like this. “Not used to the hard stuff, huh?” He said in a cocky manner.

“Absolutely not.” You said, face full of disgust. “But hey, if it makes you hate me less-”

“I don’t hate you.” Yoongi quickly added, cutting off your sentence. “You just annoy me.”

You just laughed as you took another sip. “I guess that’s something.” The more you drank from it, the better it got. “Why though? We used to be friends in high school, but ever since college you started to act…different.” Yoongi didn’t answer, all he did was shrug his shoulders before he finished his drink in one sip, quickly pouring himself another glass. He was hiding something, but you didn’t know what yet. “Fine, don’t tell me then.”

“The fact that you can’t remember the reason why, makes my annoyance to you even more justified.” Yoongi explained as he was swirling his drink around. “But I guess you do have a weird sense of memory. Like that one time, when you forgot what color rose I gave you, but you seemed to have remembered I cut off the thorns so you wouldn’t prick yourself.” He said slightly annoyed. “It was lavender by the way, but I also don’t think you remembered the meaning behind it.”

“Wait, you remember that?” After all those years, Yoongi still remembered that? It was a very early memory of you two, you were both 15 at the time. It was Valentine's Day at school, and since you knew neither of you would have a valentine, you decided to be each others’. He gave you that lavender rose while you gave him a weird videogame that he was into back in the day. You were slowly sipping that nasty drink Yoongi handed to you as your mind was lost in a sea of nostalgia.

He tried to brush it off, not acting as if it was anything special. “Just a random memory I have.” But he couldn’t. “Or maybe I just treasured our friendship more than you did.” There it was.

You forgot to tell Yoongi you were a lightweight, so the dramatic gasp you let out was partially that dramatic because of the alcohol. “That’s not true! You were one of my closest friends.” An angry pout formed on your face. “But then you started to act like a meanie.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but scoff. “Oh, I was a meanie?! You were the one that started forgetting about me ever since she got into college.” 

“Heh?!” You could feel yourself getting more drunk by the sip. “You were the one who started ignoring my texts!” Yoongi’s lips parted for a second, ready to snap back, before closing them again. He was saying too much. There was a reason for his change of behavior, but his pride was the reason he couldn’t say it. “Yeah, now you don’t know what to say, huh?!”

“Whatever.” Yoongi mumbled as he took another sip of his drink, finishing it as well, making him pour another one. He wasn’t planning on staying sober tonight, especially after exposing his feelings too much.

The alcohol was starting to get to you, because the longer you started at Yoongi, the cuter you found him. You also noticed his cheeks were redder than before, but you weren’t sure if it was out of embarrassment or because of the alcohol. Unlike him, you couldn’t handle your liquor that well, making you say things like “You know, you’d be a lot cuter if you weren’t such a dick to me.”

Yoongi stayed quiet for a second, swirling his drink again as if he were searching through all the possible comebacks to that comment. “I thought assholes were your thing?” He scoffed.

You tilted your head out of confusion, mixed with a pout on your lips. “What makes you say that?” 

“Well, by all the guys you’ve been fucking, I can tell there is a pattern-” 

“Are you slut shaming me, Min Yoongi?!” You gasped, a bit over the top maybe, but still justified. “Never expected that from you, I’ve never been so disappointed.” 

Yoongi’s face turned a pale white, not expecting for this conversation to turn out this way. “No, wait-” You crossed your arms and dramatically turned your head away from him. “That's not how I wanted to come across.” 

That’s when you started to overthink this situation, which made a grin appear on your face, making Yoongi even more concerned. “Wait…so are you being an asshole because you thought that was my type?” His eyes were wide and his lips were tightly pressed against one another. He truly didn’t know what he just got himself into.

“No, not like-”

“Waaait-” You moved a bit closer to Yoongi and words escaped your mouth before your mind could fully understand them. “So, you saw me fucking a bunch of so-called ‘assholes’ and thought, lemme do the same? Didn’t know you actually liked me that much, Yoongi.” You teased.

“I think you’re looking a bit too hard into this-”

“So you were not trying to be my type?”

“Not intentionally, no.”

“What if I said that you are my type though?” 

The words came out casually, but you didn’t realize how impactful those words were to Yoongi. “W-what?” he stuttered.

“And not because you suddenly became a dick to me, just for clarification!” You quickly added, we wouldn’t want any misconceptions. Maybe you shouldn’t have had that second glass, what even was that drink? It sure wasn’t anything like the cheap stuff you got at the bars. You looked up at Yoongi and you could tell the red of his cheeks wasn’t from the alcohol. “Hehe, someone’s flustered.”

Yoongi’s body language had changed, he wasn’t as relaxed as a few minutes before, which was understandable. He was more tense and you could tell he was nervous all of a sudden. “You’re just saying things now.” Was all he could say, almost like a defense, like he couldn’t believe you just said that, let alone mean it.

Your sudden laugh caught him off guard. “Why would I lie about such a thing? You know me better than that.” You looked up at Yoongi, his eyes almost as innocent as a deer. His gaze was fixated on you and even though his mouth was shut thigh, you could tell more than a thousand words were going through his mind right now. “Ah, you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed, Yoongi.“ You leaned in ever closer, surprising him with how little distance there was left between the two of you. 

He couldn’t help but look away, this was just getting a bit too much for him. “You don’t mean that.” He said under his breath.

You pouted again as your eyes were studying Yoongi’s features. The way his black hair fell, the fluttering of his lashes, the rosy color of his cheeks, he really was a work of art. “Maybe I can prove it to you?” Yoongi’s eyes slightly widened at your suggestion, making him turn his head back to you. It painted a smile on your face. “What’s going through your mind right now?” You teased, noticing you piqued his interest.

His breathing got heavier, and you noticed the quick glance he took at your lips before he fixed them back to your eyes. “The same that’s going through yours, I hope.”

A smirk formed on your lips as you looked at his. “Is that so?” Yoongi wanted to say something back, but he couldn’t. “Is that why you’re so nervous all of a sudden?” You moved your hands up to his cheek, slowly caressing it with your fingers. “Because a lot of dirty things are going through my mind right now.” Yoongi seemed to be starstruck, unable to make a move. “You really can’t find your words, huh?” That’s when you noticed…“But your little friend says more than enough.”Your eyes drafted towards the tent in his gray sweats, making you smirk out of satisfaction at the sudden surprise. You moved your hand away from his face, laying them down on his thighs. “Can I?” You asked as you slowly caressed your fingers on his thigh, just inches away from his ever-growing erection. Yoongi took a deep breath before slowly nodding, almost seeming like he was fighting himself to give in. His response made your eyes twinkle, and you moved your hands up to caress his aching bulge. Your eyes were still focused on his’ as your hands were doing it’s own thing. You loved seeing his reaction to you touching him. The look of annoyance slowly faded into pure lust. His breathing got heavier with every caress your hand made, making his dick twitch out of response. Yoongi’s eyes moved down at your lips, almost looking desperate to have them against his’. “If you want to kiss me, then do it.” You teased. You wanted him to give in to his desires. You wanted him to admit it to himself how much he wanted you right now. And oh, did it drive him mad. You could see the hint of frustration in his face, his pride and desires were arguing, but one was obviously the winner since it only took him seconds before he leaned in to kiss you. His lips hesitated a bit to move as they touched yours, but when you were the one to start the motion, he had no choice but to follow along. You felt his hand creep in around your waist, pulling you in closer. A raspy moan left his lips since your hands had found their way underneath his gray sweats. “Nice to hear you haven’t lost your voice.” You whispered teasingly.

“Shut u-fuck.” With circular motions, you spread his precum all over his tip before giving him a hard stroke. “Please, y/n-” You never expected Yoongi to moan your name so desperately, but here you were. The man who had been ignoring you for the last couple of days was now more than desperate for your undivided attention. You couldn’t help but chuckle as you pressed your lips against Yoongi again, the sweet taste of his liquor still lingering. For a brief second, you let go of his twitching dick, leaving the comfort of the couch to sit on the ground, just the right height for easy access. You grabbed Yoongi’s sweats at its hem, dragging it down, making his erection even more visible. You were surprised by his size, making you even more excited to touch him. Saying you never expected to be in this situation would be a lie since you’ve fantasized about it multiple times during your college days. But unfortunately for the two of you, that’s when Yoongi decided to start ignoring you…

Yoongi’s eyes were fully focused on you, admiring the view you had given him. You tucked your hair behind your ear before grabbing his cock by its base, giving it a slow lick from there all the way to the top, without breaking eye contact. You circled your tongue around his tip before fully taking him in, making him let out a long heavy moan, almost sounding like a sigh of relief. Your hand followed the motion of your lips, starting out slow. The sound of you sucking Yoongi off in combination with his heavy breaths filled the room, which for you, was music to your ears. Occasionally, he would let out a small whimper, making you ever so proud of what you were doing. Yoongi’s head was thrown back in his seat, unable to continue looking at you as his hair fell in front of his eyes. He was getting lost in the pleasure, moaning your name under his breath mixed with cuss words. You removed your lips from his cock, making him let out a moan out of reflex. You quickened the pace of your hand as you kissed the inside of his thighs, eyes fully focused on him. “Don’t stop-” Managed to come out of his mouth as his heavy breathing became full of moans, making it clear to you that he was getting closer. You wrapped your lips back around him again, making him let out a raspy moan. “Fuuuck-“ You felt Yoongi’s hand finding the back of your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair, moving your head even further down so he could enjoy the gagging sounds you made. “Just like that.” Like the good girl you were, you went along with the pace Yoongi had set for you, not caring that the tears in your eyes were ruining your mascara. “You’re taking me so well.” You looked back up at Yoongi, noticing he had his eyes back on you. How could your eyes look so innocently up at him as you were absolutely ruining him at the same time? “Where do you want it?” The twinkle in your eye and the lack of response as you continued to suck him off made it clear to him where you wanted it. He threw his head back again and the subtle twitch in his legs made it obvious he was nearly there. “Shit-I’m gonna-fuck-“ You made it hard for him to speak as you increased your speed, making it all harder for him to suppress his orgasm. A raspy groan left Yoongi’s mouth as you felt him filling your mouth with white ribbons of his cum. The feeling of it against the back of your throat made you whimper for a second, but you tried your best to clean it all up. But fuck, was there a lot of it. You tried your best to clean every drop of Yoongi, and when his dick left your mouth, it was already turning limp. You couldn’t help but smirk as you wiped the excess off of the corner of your lips, enjoying the view of Yoongi being absolutely worn out. Yoongi gathered the last of his energy to sit up straight, leaning towards you to kiss you again. “I wanna make you feel good as well.” He whispered in between kisses.

A menacing grin appeared on your face, however. “Hmh, no.” You whispered back before pulling away.

“Wait, what?!” Your answer made Yoongi snap out of his high, not sure why you would refuse his offer.

You stood up from off your knees, feeling them being red from sitting that long. “Maybe if you’re a bit nicer to me the next couple of days, I’ll let you. But for now, no.” You said nonchalantly and full of attitude, even though this didn’t seem to be in your favor, ‘cause shit were you horny. You walked away from the couch and towards Hobi’s room. “Goodnight, Yoongi.”

Yoongi was dumbfounded and confused for a good minute, not sure what just had happened. All he knew was that he wished had made you cum first.

[hitomisuzuya]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUZU, GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK🥳🎉🎉🎉 Btw more roommate Scara plz?👀💕Like, roommate Scaramouchii confessed to us while he's not sober. Maybe a little jealousy in that...?

Roommate! Scaramouche x fem!reader. Jealous, drunk love confession. What do I tag this as? I tagged it as smut because of one sentence.

I had a stressful day, so writing this is helping me unwind a little.

When it came to living with someone like Scaramouche, it came with constant parties. Tonight was no different.

Because it was. Childe was there. And Scaramouche swore he drank more every time he saw you smile up at him. Or laugh at something he said. Or how you blushed when he tucked some hair behind your ear.

He drank more every second you were devoting your attention to Childe instead of him. Why were you even smiling at him, anyways? He was all you needed because he was right here, not Childe.

Scaramouche's eyes watched you intently as you went about cleaning up after the party. He made a huffy noise. "Leave that shit, I'll get in the morning," He grumbled.

"No, it's okay," You shook your head, waving a hand at him when he tried to get up. You knew he was drunk. You'd indulged a little yourself, but near as much as he had.

"Stop, just stop," He snapped, making you look at him, startled.

"Scara, I'm just cleaning..what is the matter?" He'd been acting off all night, and you couldn't put your finger on why.

"No, just, ugh, that's not what I meant," Scaramouche pinched the bridge of his noise, and decided to try again. His head was spinning, and you just standing there looking beautiful like you always were.

He wanted you so badly.

And you were patient with him too, which most people weren't. You quietly waited for him to gather himself. "Why do you give you even give that ginger shithead any attention?"

"Childe?" You questioned, to which he nodded.

"Yeah, him," You could hear the strained jealousy in his slurred speech. Your cheeks flushed. Was he jealous that you had spent most of the evening with Childe while he sulked in the corner like a cat who got sprayed with water?

"You should've been spending that time with me. You should've been by my side all night and not his," The slurred words can tumbling out before he could hear them, inebriation giving him courage.

"Scara.." You began, but he quickly shushed you.

"Don't talk until I am finished," He snapped, his posture stiffening when you gave him a look. He knew that look, "please," He mumbled, hastily looking away.

"How should I put this?" Scaramouche murmured more to himself before looking at you again, "listen up because I am only going to say this once. I hated every time you smiled at him. I hated every time you looked at him. Because I want those smiles to be for only me."

Your heart was starting to pound in your chest. Where the words that you wanted to hear the most about to come from him, the very ones you'd been afraid to tell him? You didn't dare interrupt him because it could ruffle his feathers and make him shut down completely.

"I am in love with you," Saying it was easier than he expected. He finished what was left of his drink, peering at you from over the top of the glass. He sighed before you could speak. "Can you c'mere? I kind of can't stand up to come to you," His cheeks flushed, looking away shyly.

You put a hand on his cheek as you sat down next to him on the couch. "I hope you are going to either kiss me or tell me you love me to," Little did you know he was swallowing his heart in his throat to.

You did what you thought what was the better option first. You leaned in and kissed him. He was glad you did because it almost slipped out how he should outside your bedroom listening to you moan his name while you fingered yourself.

He sighed softly against your mouth. He was pleased with your answer. The kiss quickly turned heated and open mouthed as he pushed you down onto the couch.

"I'm in love with you to, Scara," You said when he reluctantly pulled away. His head immediately dropped into your neck, nuzzling against it as he sighed, content.

You blinked, confused when he didn't say anything. That was because he fell asleep with his face buried in your neck.

[lurkingshan]

(Different anon) I agree with and understand your points re: ~why you watch GMMTV if don't like??~ and why the question is/feels hostile.

But taking the question itself in good faith as "why do you (should I) keep watching shows I think/know I will not like based on how others have been handled?" in the genuine spirit of "explain like I'm 5 because I don't understand the lingo and background but want to understand the concept, how would you explain it to people not as into/knowledgeable/etc BL and the history of GMMTV?

Hi anon! This is an interesting question, because it depends so much on you as an individual and what makes you happy.

I think there is often a misconception that people who post critical meta are having a miserable time and torturing themselves with media they hate, but it's just not true. For folks like me who enjoy thinking critically, this is how we have fun. When I love something, I want to rip open its guts and see how it's all assembled. It's what stimulates my brain and gets me excited. And when I don't love something wholeheartedly, I am interested in figuring out why. I've often had the experience of watching something that I know should be working on me, and if it isn't, that creates an intellectual puzzle that I find very satisfying to solve. Why isn't it working, and what can that help me learn about storytelling? This is also fun for me.

Another misconception I often see in fandom is that if you like something, you can't have negative thoughts about it and you have to pretend it's perfect to be a good fan. Nonsense! Being a hater is fun, especially about things you truly love. I'll give you a really concrete example: Bad Buddy is one of my all time favorite shows. It first aired three years ago and I still think about it nearly every day. It's a show that stimulates my brain but also hits me straight in the heart. But I do not think it's perfect and I get a lot of joy from thinking about the parts that did not work (Wai's redemption, that stupid fake out in the finale, all of episode 9) and making fun of it (have you heard that PAT GOT SHOT??). This, too, is a form of love and source of joy.

So with those misconceptions addressed, why do I keep watching shows I suspect I won't like? First, because you truly never know until you try, and I like to be pleasantly surprised. Two of my favorite shows of this year, Cherry Magic Thailand and Knock Knock Boys, shocked the hell out of me. I went into CMT deeply skeptical only to be charmed against my will and so impressed by how they adapted it, and I went into KKB expecting it to be like 95% of weak Thai pulps only to realize its writing and themes were stronger than they had any right to be. If I stayed away from all media I thought I might not like, I would have never had the amazing experience of watching and discussing those two shows live with friends who also loved them.

Second, like I said above, I still have fun examining shows that are not quite working for me, and sometimes I am compelled by the ambition of shows even if I don't think the execution is serving. A great example of that is The Sign. I wanted to support that show because of who was making it, and it had so much early promise that when it fell apart halfway through, I stuck it out to try to make sense of what went wrong. In cases like that, I like to figure out what a show thinks it's doing, what it's actually doing, and where the disconnect is. It's a fun puzzle for me to sort through such an ambitious mess of a show. This is why, btw, I am never really moved by fanwanks to fill in gaps in story and characterization. I understand why others enjoy fixing shows in their brains and then pretending that's what they actually saw, but it's not what motivates me. My goal with shows like this is not to get myself to like it no matter what, it's to figure out why I don't like it and what could be changed to address that.

Third, I care about ql as a genre, and I like to be aware of how it's evolving and be part of the collective experience of watching it. QL fandom is tiny and I like to know what my friends are talking about! I can't watch everything because there is simply way too much content these days, but I like to watch or at least pay attention to most of the big buzzy shows to track trends and see what's getting the fandom frustrated or excited. I didn't watch We Are because I knew enough about what it was doing and who was involved to understand it was not for me, but I did pay attention to reactions to it. Watching Jack & Joker with Thai bl fandom right now is some of the most fun we've had since Only Friends killed our spirit. J&J is directed by my parasocial frenemy Tee Bundit, whose shows often frustrate the hell out of me and whom I have ripped to shreds on this platform many times over. But I'm not gonna let that stop me from having fun with this new show, because Joke is The Moment and we're all in this together.

So truly, anon: whether or not you should be like me and watch things you may not like or continue watching shows you don't think are very good depends on what motivates you. You should figure out what is most fun for you re: media consumption, and do that. You can seek out people who enjoy media the same way you do, and also befriend people who think differently if you want to learn from each other and don't mind a bit of productive discomfort from time to time. I have gotten better recently at recognizing when I'm just getting nothing out of a show and dropping it like a hot potato (because some shows are not bad in an interesting way, they are just bad), or realizing which shows I will like better on a binge (usually the ones with terrible pacing, that is not as tortuous for me when I can just watch it all in one go). You gotta do some testing to figure it out.

All of this has all been a really long-winded way to say you should do what makes you happy, and don't assume that just because someone else's happiness looks different from yours, that it's wrong.

[itsjustelian]

BEEFLEAF THOUGHT (Mainly He Xuan thought but fuck it he's intertwined with Shi Qingxuan and therefore all He Xuan thoughts are beefleaf thoughts)

So so so, in my readings of tgcf and the wonderful mess that is all of the internet thoughts on it I've come to the personal conclusion that to become a supreme you have to have *big* feelings. Very big and very deep feelings.

Our big-brained, obvious example of this is Hua Cheng. Man's big feeling is devotion, love. He is absolutely besotted for Xie Lian. Would do anything for his God. We're so proud of him for it too.

But He Xuan? He's the only other real supreme we have aside from Hua Cheng (Jun Wu, I'm sorry, you're wonderful but Godhood fucks with a man) and the idea that his big feeling that turned him into a supreme was rage and hatred never sat quite right with me. It's not that hatred and rage aren't powerful enough emotions to make a supreme, and those being his emotions on the surface make him a wonderful parallel to Hua Cheng. But rage isn't really what fuels him. If it was, he'd have dissipated after the Blackwater arc. Taken his revenge and called it a day.

Yet, he sticks around. He *never* dissipates. He just sits at the bottom of the ocean for all eternity. Which doesn't sound like rage or hatred. I mean, you'd assume a calamity built on hate would continue his revenge path until all of heaven is gone and no one can have godhood because he couldn't. But he doesn't. He just... waits.

This isn't to say he wasn't angry, btw. He was absolutely angry, and he had every right to be. His desire for revenge had to come from somewhere, let alone the emotional payment to actually planning and pulling it off. I just don't think that was his greatest regret/feeling/desire at death. I mean, He Xuan had his whole life taken from him. All of it. His family, his fiancee, his passions, his work. Everything he worked towards and for got stolen from him by others. And while it's clearly very rage inducing for him (I mean he has a mental breakdown and kills everyone who's ever wronged him), the underlying feeling through it all was probably despair. He probably just wanted things to go back to how they were when his whole family was around and alive.

And this despair and longing doesn't just go away when he learns the truth of what's been done to him. He's still a person. He can't just throw away those emotions because new ones have taken center stage. But rage is a way easier feeling to work with than misery, so He Xuan defers to it. He jumps on the bandwagon of revenge against the people who wronged him once again and goes with it. And it gets him through Mt. Tonglu and up into heaven and right where he says he wants to be. Right up until he can execute his revenge. And then he just stops? And decides that he's going to be best friends with Shi Qingxuan for a few hundred years first? I'm no rage expert, but that doesn't sound very revenge like to me. Which leads very neatly into the point of this post, took me a while I know.

He Xuan's reason for sticking around is he wants to be loved.

I mean, look at it. He says he hates Shi Qingxuan's guts and wants him and his brother dead more than anything, but also spends hundreds of years hanging out with this person he hates so much when revenge is right there? He could have done it whenever. There was no logical reason I could wait to wait as long as he did. Unless he was enjoying Shi Qingxuan's companionship. And Shi Qingxuan clearly loved him (even just platonically. We love our friends in this house). And He Xuan hadn't had someone care about him that much since his death. It was probably insanely overwhelming and equally as wonderful.

And then he fucks it all by actually going through with the revenge but feelings are hard and he's clearly not great with them so oops. But but but, his great famous line during the Blackwater Arc is him telling Shi Qingxuan that they've used the wrong name. He, even if it's just subconsciously, wants Shi Qingxuan to see him as He Xuan, not Ming Yi. He, in some capacity, wants Shi Qingxuan to see and love He Xuan, not the mask he had on.

But then, after the revenge, he doesn't disappear. He straight up goes out of his way to return Shi Qingxuan's fan to them. To make something right. To return something to how it was before.

Except this time, he can't blame the people around him for the change. He can't turn his rage at the rest of the world because he's the one who ruined the only thing he wanted for himself. So he finally, *finally*, has to face this sadness and longing that's been plaguing him from the start. He got his revenge, he got all the anger out, and it still wasn't what he wanted. Because from the beginning, all he wanted was to be appreciated and loved and wanted and not have that torn away from him.

And he fucked it for himself in the end because lets be honest if he had a civil fucking conversation with Shi Qingxuan and didn't literally threaten their brothers life things would have gone SO MUCH BETTER.

Anyway, I'm crying now. If you read through my jumbled 2 AM thoughts all the way, thank you. I will edit this when it's not 3 am. and post it.

---

Editing me: wtf was I on? I don't remember half of these thoughts??? I'm posting it because somewhere in this hot mess is a point I'm trying to make, and I'm not going to deny 2 AM Elian the chance to share it.

[amiizuki]

it will be forever funny to me how the flashback portraits of Wittebrothers made Caleb seem like he's had packing peanuts for a brain

(this post ended up becoming quite lengthy, and so did the tags somehow, because I kinda devolved into a rant closer to the end of writing this whole thing, so bear with me here)

so we know that Philip and Caleb became orphans when both of them were still kids. after that, they ended up in Gravesfield and, to fit in with everyone else who lived there, picked up witch hunting and started thinking that witches are pure evil. Caleb knew perfectly well that he's the only family Philip's had left and that he even may be his his only friend, since, judging by the portraits, they've only ever hung out with each other and we don't know if those two ever made any other actual friends.

until one day, during a witch hunt he and Philip were both a part in (something Caleb seemed happy to do, judging by his smirk there), he met a witch – Evelyn – someone he's been taught to hate and want dead by the townsfolk. someone who, again, in his mind, should be evil.

but he just suddenly does a 180 and goes "damn, you can make fire with your hands, you're actually pretty cool"

and then a few days (?) of talking to her later, he's running off to live with her in the Demon Realm, while simultaneously not giving a single fuck about the brother he's abandoning.

(he even runs off with a smile, with a literal :D face, I fucking can't lmao)

Philip ends up seeing Caleb get dragged off through a weird portal and later follows along, thinking something like "no, my brother wouldn't just up and abandon me without saying anything. he probably got captured by that witch we saw together that one time! she probably used some demon magic to bewitch Caleb and took him through that portal to kill him or worse! I gotta go save him!". and, after spending god knows how long in that realm, searching endlessly for his missing older brother, he eventually finds him. but he also finds that Caleb is not only perfectly okay and not hurt in the slightest, he's also peacefully walking together with the same witch who "captured" him, even holding hands with her.

and when enraged Philip tries to attack Evelyn, to protect Caleb from the witch who took him from his home, from his brother, still thinking that Caleb's under her control, Caleb just... gives him a hug and goes on to introduce the witch as his new wife to him (I'm assuming that portrait is the same day as the other three, if not the same scene), also adding on top of that that they're having a child. all as if nothing happened. treating the whole thing like everything's perfectly okay and just another normal day, fully ignoring the fact that he threw his brother away with no care or thought, leaving him completely alone, a full orphan, now with zero actual family left (in TTT, during their backstory, it's said that "Caleb did his best to take care of his younger brother", meaning that either they never got adopted in Gravesfield, or whoever adopted them didn't give a shit about the two, so they still mostly had to fend for themselves), all to go smash some random 5 out of 10 witchussy he talked to, like, 3 times. no fucking wonder Philip killed him!

(btw, jokes aside, it didn't seem like he intended to kill Caleb, because in that portrait where he's ready to kill with a knife in his hand, he's facing forward, while Caleb is actually to his left. so it just looks to me like Philip was gonna try to kill Evelyn again, and Caleb either jumped in front of her to protect her and got accidentally stabbed or he attacked Philip back, to, again, protect Evelyn, and Philip ended up winning that fight. but that's just my theory)

my brother in literal christ and literal titan – why in the FUCK are you just hugging it out with a smile on your face??? you ran off while giving absolutely no warning to anyone, especially your younger brother! why do you think he's here and actively trying to attack you and your new wife? you're not even trying to address the fact that you left him! at least when Luz ran off to a different realm without warning, she had a "I'm still at the camp" cover, so Camila wouldn't worry that much about where her daughter is, and even then she still felt bad for leaving her mother and planned to go back home once summer was over. this chucklefuck, on the other hand, just permanently portaled away to the Boiling Isles, knocked up a witch and fully settled down there, walking around with a big ol' smile and no care in the world. "Philip who? never heard of him"

the only thing that would sorta make this situation seem better (as in, not make Caleb seem like an overly naive ignorant brick), in my opinion, is if they added one more portrait – after the one where he meets the witch, but before the one where he leaves. in that portrait, Caleb would look like he's trying his best to convince Philip that witches aren't actually evil, and perhaps even try to get him to go live with them in the Demon Realm, all the while Philip's looking at him with either disagreement/disappointment/disgust or just rolling his eyes and full on ignoring him, while sharpening his witch hunt tools or something. then it would look like Caleb at least tried to make his brother change his mind, like he tried to offer him a chance to go with them. but no. with the way the portraits look in the final version it just seems like Caleb was fully on-board with killing witches since he was young, even pulling his younger brother along to think the same way, Philip also thought that Caleb was perfectly fine with killing witches, but once he actually meets a real witch (assuming they've never met one before) he instantly pulls an uno reverse card and just runs off with her, without so much as telling his brother beforehand.

I'm not trying to say that "Belos should've been redeemed, because he's the victim here and Caleb is bad and it's all his fault". he still murdered his brother and went on to manipulate everyone on Boiling Isles for centuries, with his end goal being the death of all witches, while simultaneously being stuck in the loop of "denial" and "bargaining" stages of grief – repeatedly trying and failing to recreate a perfect copy of Caleb, but also killing each one that came out wrong or went against him. Belos not being redeemed in the end was the right choice (ignoring the "Belos was always le bad" from King's dad), I agree with that. frankly, if he actually got redeemed in the end, I'd probably be seething for the next 3 to 5 years, like how I did after the Diamonds' "redemptions" in SU (yes I'm still pissed about that lol). I'm just saying that, from what was shown to us, Caleb didn't seem like that good of a person either, not as bad as Belos ended up being, but still not that great. and, once again, seemingly had a raisin for a brain.

(off topic, but during Masha's retelling of Wittebane's backstory, their "sounds like big bro got a hot witch girlfriend and little bro got upset" line was so fucking cringe, it gave me a fever for 3 days the first time I watched the episode)

k, rant over, I dunno what else to add

TL;DR: I think Caleb was dumb as a brick, because, from what was shown to us in their backstory, he seemed to have run off to Demon Realm and abandon Philip without telling him anything beforehand. when Philip came to BI to look for his brother, who he assumed was under control of the witch who "took" him, since he thought his last living family member wouldn't just abandon him, and when he eventually found him, and it turned out he wasn't in any danger at all, Caleb just brushed the whole "I left you for witchussy" thing under the rug and pretended everything was and is perfectly fine, even though it clearly isn't. rip bozo

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

(You can make this specific to each duo)

So for the skeleton brothers, they find out that something they’ve been doing has been taking a toll on their respective brothers. Whether purposefully or not, They could be hurting their brothers feelings or making them uncomfortable…how do they react to clocking that?

Live for these btw, love your posts =)

Undertale Sans - When he was little and Sans was talking with adults, he tended to go silent every time Papyrus entered the room to not worry him with adult problems. The problem is that... He kept doing that as Papyrus grew older, and even sometimes now that he's fully adult. Papyrus hates it, because it feels like his brother both doesn't trust him and treats him like a child, which is one of his triggers. Sans knows it, and he tries to be careful about it, but sometimes, it just comes naturally. However, Sans, ironically, always makes sure Papyrus tells him if there's a problem he can deal with, so Papyrus usually tells him he's doing it again and Sans apologizes and tries to include him.

Undertale Papyrus - Before Papyrus learned about what depression is, he used to be pushy to get his brother to move and get active a little during the day, not realizing Sans was not lazy but having a really bad day. When Sans is not moving fast enough, Papyrus feels the urge to press him, which always annoys his brother. Except that when Sans is annoyed, he doesn't snap. He goes entirely silent and enters some kind of robotic mode. He's not reactive to anything and does whatever he's asking him to do just so his brother let him alone. It's only on the Surface, after finding a random paper talking about depression while cleaning Sans' room, that Papyrus realizes that these periods where Sans goes entirely silent are not Sans being lazy but a trauma response to so much pressure he shut down completely. After that, Papyrus is always careful to not go too far. He still tries to encourage his brother to be active, but when he feels like Sans doesn't have the strength to move, he leaves him alone and decides to simply hang out with him, watch a movie or just talk.

Underswap Sans and Papyrus - Honey and Blue always disagreed on Blue becoming a police officer. That's mainly because Blue likes danger and tends to throw himself into the front line without much consideration for his brother. The first time he got shot, instead of comforting him, Honey screamed at him because he didn't need to play the hero, he has colleagues to rely on now. Blue argued that there was an opening, but Honey didn't want to hear it and stormed out of the room. It's only after he left that Blue realizes Honey is just worried he might lose his brother... But he can't help it. He might tell himself he will be more careful at the moment, but he knows it's a lie. He won't. That's forever going to be a problem between them, and Honey is terrified that, one of those days, his colleagues come to tell him someone got him for good.

Underfell Sans and Papyrus - They spend their time hurting each other without realizing it, and the more they argue, the more violent they get toward each other until one of them gets his feelings badly hurt and refuses to see the other for a while. That's the story of their lives, honestly. The situation has been the same since they were kids: they have always struggled to communicate. Deciding to live separately on the Surface was both a big failure in their relationship and a benediction as they don't have to be on the other's back constantly now. Their relationship definitely got a little better since they had some space, but they both regret they had to come to this extremity to finally accept to talk normally. There's a lot of resentment toward the other on each side, but they also love each other a lot, which makes them hurt the other in an eternal circle of violence they are still not sure how to escape. But they're improving.

Horrortale Sans - One big moment of that is obviously the day he decided to trick his brother to eat human food. Years later, Willow is still deeply hurt by his decision, and more than that, he is wary when Oak gifts him some food, which always hurt his brother. Of course, Oak did this because Willow was literally dying of hunger at that time, not even able to walk, and refused to see it, but Willow never heard it. Oak realized with time it was a horrible decision to force on his brother, and that even if Willow survived, that choice scarred him for life and that nothing he would do to try and make it better would help healing that. The reason Willow is so mad at him is also because Oak is a big hypocrite and, even on the edge of dying, refuses to eat humans right to the very end. Oak is still trying to fix the situation, but he's willing to accept something broke in their relationship that day but that it was still better this than losing his brother.

Horrortale Papyrus - Another huge trauma of Willow is the way his brother dealt with the death of Undyne. He decided without concerting him to abandon Undyne's dust in the Underground and even spit in it, which Willow is still shocked about. He knows she did horrible things, and hurt a lot of people, but killing her was already heartbreaking for him, as Willow never wanted to come to this extremity, and he took all he had to not break and go back on his word during the fight, but this? This was too much for him. It hurt Willow that his brother didn't think how violent the situation already was for him. They argued a lot about this the next few years. And Willow realized that the situation was hurting him as much as it hurt his brother because it felt like Willow was defending the one who hurt Oak instead of letting her go. So Willow decided to stop mentioning Undyne, even if it still hurts. He buried her dust in the forest as a symbolic goodbye, and never mentioned her again, as that's clearly a topic the brother could never agree on.

Swapfell Sans and Papyrus - Like Edge and Red, there's a lot of words Nox and Rus throw at the other's head that they don't really think and end up regretting later. They both kinda betrayed the other Underground. Nox literally abandoned his brother to join the Royal Guard and abused his feelings by just assuming he was fine on his own, while Rus actively participated in the rebellion to find a way to kill the Queen, and by extension, his own brother, for many years. Many of the people who tried to kill Nox over the years are members of Rus' organization, even once they reached the Surface, as they considered Rus a traitor. It's still a miracle they're even talking to the other again. They started to heal on the Surface, but that's a long process and it doesn't make resentment magically go away. They're more open to talk now and they try to build a new relationship on whatever little piece of the past they managed to salvage. However, they are both aware that it will never be the same as before all of this.

Fellswap Gold Sans & Papyrus - There was no problem Underground for these two, the problems arrived once they reached the Surface. Coffee never really questioned Underground why he couldn't go out, as Wine told him the world was dangerous and cruel. But to go to the Surface, he had to get out of his room, you know. It was a bit of the shock for Coffee to meet actually some friendly monsters in the camp they were all parked in the first few weeks on the Surface. And Coffee realized maybe he missed a few things the last twenty years. He understands that his brother wanted to protect him, but he is starting to realize Wine sort of made him pay for his own insecurities as well. Coffee knows he's not a fighter, but to realize his brother thinks he's so bad at surviving he should be in locked down his entire life? Coffee got really angry for the first time when Wine tried to go back to their old habits as soon as they got to their house, asking Coffee to not leave the house. So Coffee left without telling him. Not too far, he just went to the end of the street, and watched as his brother completely freaked out not finding him in the house when he returned. Coffee told him next that it's not his role to protect him from everything and that he wants to be able to go see some friends without him texting him constantly to know what he is doing. Wine accepted to let go a little, but it's still far from perfect. Wine is just so scared for his brother, it's hard to let go.

[isa-ghost]

Hey Isa, you wouldn't happen to have any head cannons back there would you?

Also, I hope you're doing well

Yeah hold on lemme check in the back *glass breaking* *metal clanging* *vine boom* *BRUH.mp4* *more glass breaking* *cartoon boink* *high pitched scream* *Taco Bell dong*

Okay got em here ya go

Phil headcanons masterlist

Quesadilla Island gave him SUCH a taste for Latin food and he can't fucking just Get That when he's home in the Hardcore world. Can you imagine him asking Rose to open a portal to another world for a 2am Taco Bell run. That's not even real/good Latin food but can you imagine.

Actually that's another thing he misses, Rose doesn't communicate with him directly when he's home. I don't have an idea of what the reasoning is for that but :(

Goddess of Death likes to tease him about his perching. She makes him so self-aware of it and he hates it but in that "god fucking damn it Kristin. I'm doing it again" way.

Ender King is just a bitch. Phil was scared of him on Quesadilla Island because there was no control or way of predicting what he'd do there. Or why. Or how. Phil generally isn't scared of a long-dead bitch baby. No, there's a hardcore deity we haven't met yet that he's scared of. And if Apollo doesn't dodgeball me on this the day Phil does a new build to introduce one of the two we haven't met yet, I might make a fan deity.

👆🏻 I mentioned this on stream Friday 9/6, I'm already cooking on the fan deity LMAO.

As a chronic overthinker who's way too insistent on constantly mentally firing on all cylinders in order to survive, this dumbass frequently forgets that taking walks (or more commonly: flights) help him unwind and actually organize his thoughts. He's so bad at walking away for a bit and returning to something with fresh eyes and a clear head. And then he remembers to do that finally and is like 🤯 about it.

Honestly, the same could be said for his emotions. I might have made a hc to this effect before, but he has such a bad habit of clinging to distractions or stubbornly trucking on from things instead of just letting himself Sit with his emotions, processing them and letting them just exist and then pass. He's a very proactive coper, but sometimes action isn't the answer and that's something he hasn't quite learned yet (Rose is trying to teach him this). He absolutely fucking hates doing it, but sometimes the best solution for him really is to just. Sit and cry it out, or seethe, or ride out the panic attack. Whatever it is.

Sitting in the warm sunshine, the sounds of leaves rustling in the wind, and the sight of flower pedals floating in the air fill him with deep, somber nostalgia for comfortably sitting and chatting with Chayanne & Lullah. Watching sunsets too. This is one of few times he'll actually do something to the effect of the previous hc and just let himself sit and Feel. He just can't do it alone, he needs the Murder to sit with him & chat.

Some things he'll do when he actually let's himself sit somewhere & vibe: chat with the Murder, fish, sketch something he sees (often Dorothy), organize his inventory (rarely).

Nowadays he also sketches things of Chayanne & Lullah, sometimes Missa, occasionally Techno. He also really likes doodling random emblems and sigils, often meant for the gods (minus EK) or Techno.

Btw he still gets paranoid about resource gathering, inventory management, and collecting cool stuff ever since his possession. :) Even now that he's back in the Hardcore world, where it's ironically more unlikely that Ender King can/will hurt him, he gets anxious about over-indulging his crow brain.

He's not ALWAYS treating the Murder like it's on sight. Sometimes he'll sit and preen their feathers (or his own while they do their own), he has a massive feeder full of any treat a crow would find yummy imaginable, and half the time they go on those walks/flights he should take to de-stress more often, it's for them because they're the little shits that love to travel so much. He's an explorer and historian/archivist, sure, but he tends to stick to the structures of the gods that he's discovered.

Which btw calling back to that Deep Dark Deity, if they end up existing in canon (and if not, this will be canon for my AU or whatever), he hasn't met/discovered them or their structures yet bc he's too cautious to explore the Deep Dark thoroughly. :)

Honestly this feels like a low-hanging fruit hc that I'm sure tons of people have, but Phil desperately wants to bring Missa to the Hardcore world some day to show him the builds and teach him about the gods.

When he got back to the Hardcore world after QSMP, he took some time to recover emotionally and then anxiously visited Endlantis to add some,, security to the cave Ender King's corpse is sealed in. Will it work? Probably not. But it makes him feel safer.

He has a journal/scrapbook type thing documenting everything he sees & learns about the deities and their associates (ex: He & She). He wishes he could've brought it with him to Quesadilla Island so he could've taught Chayanne & Lullah more about them in detail. But they're somewhere in the world with him now, so he's sure they've learned more over the last 4 months. :)

[ronearoundblindly]

So I was rereading this ‘This All Day’ from Fools Rush In that I absolutely loveeee. ( btw Fools Rush In is by far the most character accurate Steve fic I’ve ever read. You know him so well 🥰 ) In the fic where it’s like, “He won’t get hard until you’re warmed up with his fingers—not your fingers, mind you, because he got very defensive that one time”

I was wondering if this referencing a one shot where this happened and maybe I missed it cause thinking about how that conversation went down is hilarious but also so sweet. I find it endearing that he’s defensive about it. HE wants to be the one to do it- so sweet 🥰

How do you think Steve would react if she ever wanted to introduce toys into the bedroom? (possible fic idea?). I wonder if he’d be hurt by this and also take it as him not satisfying her properly.

🥴

Oh. Yeah. Right. Caught that line, did ya? Heh...

I'm gonna put this under a cut lol. We shall be discussing adult things.

Steve (if you've read all of FRI's 'Do You Two...Fondue?') has quite a few insecurities about sex, in general, but there is specifically a prowess he would prefer, which is to be the one and the only one to get you off. He doesn't like the idea of not being enough or not knowing how to be enough for his girl, right? But he doesn't exactly have a ton of experience, and his go-getter attitude tends to drop off just shy of "how do you want my dick" obviously.

You know I love Steve, but he doesn't only not have the words for sex--can't dirty talk worth beans because he can't really say things like, well, any of it, not pussy, cunt, dick, or cock, he'll say 'breasts' maybe but otherwise it's just "him" inside "you"--but he also has hangups about varied sexual acts, toys absolutely included in that concept.

He's honestly so slow and tender to warm up to new that he mistook what was meant to be a simple show of how excited and desperate he'd made you (i.e. toughing yourself while he got undressed) as him not being thorough in his foreplay, affection, and general sensuality. Steve doesn't get angered by these things; he gets upset. He gets sad.

There has never been a more laughable and heart-breaking moment in bed for you than the hurt look on his face. It's his duty, his privilege, his job to please you. Don't take his job away from him!

(None of that was in a specific one-shot, just sorta implied throughout.)

I actually think Steve went on several long missions away before realizing you might have wanted/needed to get off without him, and at first, he hates that idea. I think he'd pitch a fucking fit if you had toys for those occasions--even if the use of them is rarer once you two are physically intimate--and yes, you're correct in thinking he'd raise hell at the idea a toy can do something for you that his body cannot.

Except for he uses his body so carefully for you. He's delicate and hesitant. He's traditional and, buddy, sorry, but often very stiff in his approach. Warm and adoring--totally!--but Steve is obsessed with not harming you.

Nevermind how fucking long the conversation is that dissects the difference between pain and 'a minor discomfort that is in service of showing how intensely you need more of your partner immediately,' he still feels strongly that you should never be remotely unprepared to take him and now he doesn't trust you not to rush it (even though/especially because he was so overwhelmed at that first feeling of you that he just thrust in (Fondue pt.16)). He never stops trying to make up for that. He does not much understand that there is a gray area between pain and pleasure.

Of course, that's partly because that whole spectrum is dulled on him, so he is psychologically and emotionally far more aware of their distinction...as one would be when fighting, interrogating, and/or killing.

It is not the most rational train of thought, but Steve was small and weak. He realized that, as he was naturally, he might not be enough for a partner--but that was because he was small and unhealthy. The serum fixed those things, and frankly, Steve has not come to terms with a big, healthy guy perhaps still falling short of being everything you could ever want or need. He's a man. As forward-thinking as he is, he's still a man who absolutely wants to be your man.

There will come a time when...toys are used as aid in [redacted], but I don't want to spoil too much...

Hope all this made sense, and

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

twilight for the uninitiated

HEYLO BABYGIRLS, BITCHBOYS, AND BOYCOTTERS OF THE BINARY! It's your favourite (and I should hope only) Good Omens Mascot and Maggot Prince here. Yesterday (earlier today? idk I sleep in naps) way over on the maggots server some of y'all were insulting Twilight. Which I am 100% supportive of, but for Bildaddy's sake, you need to insult it CORRECTLY.

But should you have to hate-watch or hate-read it? Nah, you've got me. In middle school I got late to school because I was reading the books in the bathroom instead of getting ready. I'VE GOT YOU! Gonna mix up the book and movie for optimum enjoyment.

Dramatis Personae: Edward Cullen, aka Sparkles the Vampire. Bella Swan, aka Bella Sue. Jacob Black, aka Wolfy Eggfucker. Charlie Swan, aka Gunboy ACAB. And Dr Carlisle Cullen, aka Zaddy. @orpiknight taught me that word.

ALRIGHT! So Bella Sue's mum and dad are divorced and she lives with her mum. But her mum's like lmao fuck you when she gets a touring boyfriend and tosses Bella Sue to Forks, where it rains a lot, and where her dad Gunboy lives.

So Bella Sue grabs a cactus because that represents Arizona and hauls ass, and Gunboy makes awkward comments about her hair. Bonding! But then he gets her a pickup truck, which is wild-o.

First day of school and Bella Sue is very popular because Small Town and the boys are very tingly in the ballsacks if you catch my drift. Anna Kendrick asks her why she's white (YOU CAN'T JUST ASK PEOPLE WHY THEY'RE WHITE, KAREN!) and then promptly forgets she was in the movie.

INTRODUCING THE VAMPIRES! This is a vampire story, by the way. There's Himbo, Blonde Murderer, and they're dating/married. There's Bi Awakening and some constipated looking dude from the Confederate army, and they're dating/married (don't worry about it). There's Sparkles, of course, and they all walk into the cafeteria being Hot apparently. Sparkles stares at Bella Sue. This is to be a common theme.

Sparkles thinks Bella Sue stinks. No, like, literally, she stinks coz he wants to eat her and food smells etc. Bella Sue also has magic powers and Sparkles can't read her mind. He's like >:(=. Those are his fangs, btw. But then he goes away with his family to hunt animals and drink blood and comes back like :)=.

Bella Sue almost gets hit by a car but then Sparkles jumps in and pushes it away. He then gaslight gatekeeps girlbosses her, and googles adrenaline rush to explain it to her. AND GUESS WHO HEALS HER? IT'S SPARKLES'S DAD, AND MY ZADDY. He walks into the ER all blonde and gentle and competent. Oh and he's a vampire too and so is his wife but like his magic power is compassion and also he's learned to regulate himself around blood. And he's pretty. Zaddy.

He's so fucking pretty but then we have to go back to the Plot and some humans are being killed or whatever and Gunboy is takin' charge yo. Sparkles keep chasing after Bella Sue to tell her to stay away from him and finding her randomly to remind her to ABSOLUTELY STAY AWAY and then he stalks her in the night and has dinner with her after saving her from a gang to tell her to ABSOLUTELY STAY AWAY. Also, he's like 110 years old. Whatever.

Oh and Sparkles breaks into her room to watch her sleep at night. It's super duper romantic. (No, trust me, once you see Wolfy in the later books, this will be super duper romantic). Then he takes her to abandoned clearings in woods to threaten to kill her and he tells her to SAY WHAT HE IS and she's like MOSQUITE LEECH VAMPIRE.

AND THEN HE SPARKLES! A LOT! And they go to the Cullens house and play baseball and Zaddy is looking absolutely lovely and welcomes them and even stands off some random vampires that show up. But one of them likey-likey's Bella Sue's blood.

Bella Sue is like lmao fuck you you're not a good dad to Gunboy to keep him safe or whatever and runs away with the Cullens to keep herself safe or whatever. Idk man Zaddy is just very pretty throughout.

And then there's a ballet place and Bella Sue goes there to get murdered coz she doesn't want to be a burden to the Cullens (homegirl never been so real). The Cullens get there and kill the vampire but then she's vampiring so Sparkles sucks the venom out and Zaddy heals her. Looking pretty. Blonde hair, golden eyes, etc.

And then Gunboy and Bella Sue's mum show up and she goes home and she's like SPARKLES TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE TOO and he's like yo wtf no you'll be a monster (I think he's just pissed he sucked that venom out for nothing) and she's like SPARKLES PLEASE UWU and he's like UGH WE'LL SEE and they dance at prom but anyway there it ends. It should have ended with a shot of Zaddy but anyway.

*influence voice* Like and subscribe Like and reblog for a part II coz there are three more books/four more movies. Gotta get that education. Now I have the urge to make a youtube video. Garn. ANYWAY LOVE YOU ALL BYE MAGGOTS.

[applestorms]

DN ask game: how about 18 and 23 (23 I will amend to 'one of your current favourite moments,' in case you are me and hate choosing favourites in any kind of absolute way haha)

CACKLES oh you know me so well =3=" original ask game

18. what do you think about Wammy’s House?

MY GOD. what do i NOT think about wammy's house. i feel like i've already talked a bit on wammy's house in Various Essays, but i suppose to coagulate some of those kinda random thoughts...

it Fucks those kids up. by nature of what wammy's house Is, i don't think it's possible for a single kid to get through it w/o getting at least a little fucked up. that goddamn orphanage is releasing a Storm of incredible messed up little geniuses on the world and the world will never recover. you can't create a fucking organization based around concepts like Live Up To The World's Greatest Detective or Never Ever Use Your Real Name (guess that's probably KIRA motivated, but still) without screwing over the sense of identity of an entire generation. nobody's doin it like them fr.

i really really really like the idea that people toss around about KIRA = god of the new world, therefore -> L = god of the old world, and i think wammy's house maps onto that idea super well as a kind of cult of the old god. something something greco-roman mystery cults, L as a void player homestuck classpect-wise, the Secrets and Idolization inherent to that entire entity. oh yeah it's all comin together rubs my hands eviley.

i saw someone say the LABB murders novel was bad the other day and almost cried because i personally Adore that book, for the additional naomi characterization + beyond moments yes, but also for the extra lore it establishes about wammy's and L more generally. having actual Generations within the house is so fucking fascinating by how you can break it down, especially when you try to fit L into it and maybe have a generation where he was interacting with the other kids during his kinda Rise to Power. i definitely think beyond and L interacted quite extensively at the very least (headcanon basis for that mostly, i just like the idea + it explains why he even got the idea to emulate him so closely), and the existence of A in and of itself is such a fascinating mystery, i love seeing how people mess with the idea of them in different ways.

also everyone go read heirs and spares for fantastic light-at-wammy's house content that almost reads like some of the best earliest parts of the promised neverland and also has some great L and light childhood worsties content. go go

also kira bless time speaks for writing that entire timeline where light and L go live at wammy's and traumatize mello w/ their horrible terrible flirting that is fucking saving me. i am so Desperate for more lawlight interacting with wammy's content i have no idea why that sets my brain off so bad but it Just Does. etc etc L negligent parent King for the win, i need to see near and L have the most horrible terrible psychological battles monologuing so loud it stinks up the entire damn room while mello and light are beating each other with bats in the background. please. lord.

also also roger's characterization in the seals are good series is unironically my accepted characterization for him now whoops. btw i don't think i have many Deep Thoughts on watari, he's kinda just a shitty old man philanthropist to me :/ though i do find him more interesting and Paternalistic with a good L genderbend.........

23. what was your favorite moment and why?

you said current favorite so honestly... ok i'll limit myself to two.

FAVORITE SCENE OF ALL TIME: LIGHT DYING. ez. specifically in the manga. there is legitimately no better scene in the entire series. this fucking panel haunts my dreams it's so goddamn Good

there is nothing i love more in this world than watching light yagami bloody and pathetic crawling on the floor and begging for his life only to die like every other criminal he killed. his fear is so Palpable it literally makes me sick. i've read this final sequence, like ch.105-107 but especially this last bit so many goddamn times istg it's burned into my eyelids LIGHT YAGAMIIIIIIII. also his laugh in the anime is fucking incredible in both dubs 10/10 no notes you killed it fellas

FAVORITE SCENE AT THIS MOMENT: been thinking a Lot about both naomi and matsuda lately and their various notable scenes, oddly. i think i need to reread his entire comedy of errors during yotsuba again alskjfskjd and also check out naomi's death again esp in conjunction with LABB murder stuff?? idk. they're both characters that i feel i haven't talked much about (also kiyomi, thought i've been getting Thoughts on her LMFAO thank you forever @kiyomitakada) so i wanna get my image of them cleared up more in my head. also all of the SPK too, halle especially. damn i guess that's a whole lot of moments actually :P WHATEVER.

anyways ty for the ask <33

[inkedbydave]

Man, being unemployed left an irreversible and pretty much negative impact on my day to day life. Cause I'm not even kidding right now, as soon as I had all the free time in the world I started spiraling. I'm working on like 20+ projects at the same time, and surprise surprise, I don't finish any of them. I barely sleep and everything revolves around Ty and other TDA characters.

So for the record, I'm a high functioning autistic individual, I got diagnosed early on, at age 11. But here's the tricky part, I'm also diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder but often experience mania due to stress or intense emotions as a crossover symptom with Bipolar.

And you know what happens when you're manic and experiencing hyperfixation? Can you imagine that? Symptoms of mania -or in my current case, hypomania- like feelings of restlesness, insomnia, impulsive thoughts and obsessive thinking with a delirious state of mind paired with the intensity of a hyperfixation? Yeah. Total chaos. I barely left my house since I got fired, which was btw, 3 weeks ago. I don't interact with anyone but my twin. And I've developed a serious parasocial relationship with these characters. I even compare my real life relationships to them. And I have detailed, like a super detailed pictures of all of them in my head compared with a voice, everything. Like they're my actual friends. And I can't focus on anything outside of them. I find myself rereading the books over and over again. I made a detailed character analysis on each of them. And as much as I try to focus on other books, or atleast books from the same universe, I just can't get myself to pay attention to anything else.

Like I tried playing with my comfort games for a change, and guess what? Now I have a detailed The Last of Us 2 AU with KitTy. Like I just can't escape it.

At this point I'm just waiting for a psychotic break where I actually get to talk to them lmao. (I was obviously joking but in case you were wondering, that is possible. Mania is often followed by psychosis and you'd be actually surprised how often totally normal people fall into fiction induced psychosis, and individuals with BPD are more likely to experience those symptoms)

Oh and I have meds prescribed, I just refuse to take them because I feel like they make me less creative, more withdrawn and even light-headed with additional brain fog when I'm on a higher dose. And I hate that state, I value collecting data and information and constantly expanding my world view with theories but medication makes me feel like a robot, like I'm just existing in an empty, emotionless state of mind, mindlessly completing tasks.