#don't want to bring up too many questions about money in the game

[peigslayers]

LUIMNEACH ABÚ!!!!!!! LIMERICK FOR LIAM MCCARTHY 2023

i don't care about hurling

[lostalioth]

𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞

→ premise: forgetting your money for your dealer for the first time in a year sounds like a stroke of bad luck. only for you it seems quite the opposite.

→ pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

→ warnings: smut | 18+, high sex (just eddies high), bribery/sex as payment? (I did intend to write it as actual bribery than idk what happened), nicknames [favorite customer, dirty girl, baby], drugs [mention, use, buying], unprotected sex, sex outside/in the woods

→ a/n: kinktober

Now technically you didn't actually need more weed, you had bought enough last time to last you the week. But god did you really badly wanna see your dealer. Eddie munson, everyone else called him a freak because of a game club he had and the way he dressed. But to you he was just so pretty you couldn’t help it, you wanted to see him again, and you didnt wanna wait til next week. In your haste and dazed state daydreaming about your pretty dealer while getting ready, you space out and forget the most important thing. Your stupid money. It was a rookie mistake that you hadn't made sense the very first time you bought from Eddie. You were so nervous that remembering to bring your money left your head. He was so sweet about it, a small smirk on his face as he handed it to you anyway. “It’s on the house, first time customer and all, hands down the prettiest too” he winked playfully at you and you think you've been smitten with him ever since.

You had found out later on, Eddie never gave anybody weed ‘on the house’ first time buying or not. You were still so lost in your head, excited to see him again that as you sat down at the meeting spot you had yet to realize you left your wallet on your dresser.

“There's my favorite customer” he beamed softly at you “I know I call you that but two deals in one week? That's a record for you” he chuckled lightly, his voice breaking you from your thoughts as he emerged from the woods. You smile coyly at him in embarrassment. Your thighs clench together slightly at the sight of him, he had ditched his usual hellfire t-shirt for a black hoodie, keeping his regular black jeans. His eyes lidded with a slight red hue around them, making you realize you probably interrupted him in the middle of his session. As he sits down at the rundown picnic table he sets his regular lunchbox on the table. The idea of him always keeping his drugs in an old metal lunch box was funny to you, and oddly adorable. But you’d probably find anything he did cute, it was getting harder and harder to hide the massive crush you had on him. The flirty banter back and forth between the two of you only intensifies it tenfold.

“Yeah I ran out a little faster than I thought I would” you cringe a bit at how easily the white lie slipped through your teeth. It felt oddly wrong lying to Eddie. He tilts his head in a way that makes you think he doesn't believe you. Before you can jump to your defense he’s opening the metal box and pulling out the lunch baggie of your regular order from him. You didn't notice the missing wallet until it came time to look for it after he had handed over the little baggie. You barely took a glance at it, tucking it in a pocket of the bag you brought that laid on the ground leaning on the leg of the table.

“Oh fuck…” you cruse under your breathe and start double checking all your pockets though you didnt have many with the outfit you had on. You even check the few the bag had. No wallet to be found.

”Left the money at home huh?” He questioned, cocking an eyebrow at your frantic searching of your clothes. In defeat after remembering it was last sitting on top of your dresser you sigh. “Yeah.. fuck im sorry Ed’s” you pout slightly, you were always good about remembering it. You’d even slip him cute, sometimes flirty little notes with the money for him to find when he’d get home. Back to being lost in your head you don't hear him getting up or coming around to sit next to you on your side of the table.

“You know…” his voice startled you slightly, both the new unfamiliar tone to it as well as its proximity. He was leaning in closer, your body slowly on its own turning in his direction aching to be even closer. ”You could pay me in another way..” his hand was now drifting to rub over and up your thigh, his eyes flickering down to your lips.

You were fine just giving the baggie back you had enough left from the last deal or quickly running home for the money. But understanding quickly what he’s implying, you decided that his payment plan was a more enjoyable idea. You’ve been dying to kiss him, to get even just a little further with him than all the teasing flirty looks and words. Realizing you haven't stopped him, he finally leans in fully, his free hand coming up to grab your chin pulling your mouth against his. The kiss sparking a fire in the pit of your stomach as his lips molded with yours. With a small mumble, the words lost in your lips Eddie pulls you even closer, hands falling to your hips to pull you off the wooden seat and onto his lap.

In the heat of the moment your hips seem to have a mind of their own, absentmindedly rocking against Eddies. He pulls away slowly, leaving you with parted lips and lidded eyes panting softly. You could feel him under you growing harder by the passing second, he wanted you just as badly. Eddie felt like his skin was on fire everywhere your bodies were touching, his hazy and cloudy head from his high causing his senses to be heightened. Your own head still full of your fantasies and daydreams from earlier that you were desperate for something more. Running your hands down his chest they land on his belt and waist band of his jeans.

“Need more Ed’s…” you whine, your pupils nearly just as dilated and blown as his, though for different reasons.

“Oh fuck it” he grunts and starts frantically undoing his belt buckle and the button to his jeans. Helping him along you lift your body off him, hovering still as you help him pull his pants halfway down his thighs.

You were smart enough to wear a skirt though this was the last thing you expected to happen. You just knew Eddie loved peaking at your ass as you walked away, so you always wore them when it was warm enough to meet up with him.

Pulling the bottom of his hoodie up a bit and pushing down his boxers after his jeans, he finally frees his cock and god it was just as pretty as you imagined. A happy trail leading down to it, the tip pink and leaking, a patch of black hair nestled at the base. Thoughts of moments like this fueled more than a few nights with your hands between your thighs. His hands return to your body, hiking your skirt up your hips he gawks at your soaked panties. “Look at my favorite customer being such a dirty girl, mighta thought you planned this all out if I didn't know any better” he groans, running his thumb through your slick folds, over your underwear. “Wore a tiny little skirt and the prettiest panties for me, and look at em’ all soaked and ruined already” he chuckled and leaned in closer, his forehead pressed to yours, eyes fixed on yours. “I've barely touched you baby” he coos and rubs small circles on your clit through the fabric.

“Need you Eddie, please~” you huff out and gasp in pleasure at the little amount of attention he was giving your throbbing bundle of nerves. His hands on your body were giving you a better high than any drugs you had ever bought off him before, and were far more addictive. “Tell me dirty girl, what exactly does my favorite customer need huh? I always aim to please” his voice has a sweet yet taunting edge to it, his thumb not stopping its teasing circles. His head shifts and his lips are ghosting over your own now. “Especially you…” he whispers as though it was a secret and there were other people around, though you both knew there wasn't anybody for miles in every direction.

“I need you inside me Ed’s, need ya’ to fuck me so bad please” you whine and plead against his mouth as you try leaning forward to feel his kiss again. You let out a sharp gasp before you even make it to press your lips to his again. While you were begging, Eddie had pulled your panties to the side and with a sharp thrust he pushed all the way in to the hilt.

“Holy fuck” he hissed through his teeth as your welcoming heat consumed his cock, your walls already squeezing around him. He sets his hands back up on your hips, trying to hold you still to give himself a second to calm down. It was pathetic but he knew he wasn’t gonna last that long, especially not with how long he's wanted this coupled with all his nerves on high alert from the weed in his system that wasn't wearing off any time soon. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you finally lean all the way forward and kiss him frantically and deeply. Hips rocking against his, the thick vein running along the side of his shaft dragging along your walls as your hips rise and drop. Teeth clashing together as you make out, tongues sliding around and fighting for dominance. Your one hand travels up threading your fingers through his mess of hair.

“Just like that baby” he groans in the kiss, fingers digging into your hips as he does his best to hold out. You already weren't all that far behind him, his cock throbbing and pulsing inside you tightening that knot in the pit of your stomach faster and faster.

Eddie pulls away from the kiss to catch his breath, his eyes squeezed shut as his head falls back when your hand comes down and nails scratch over his exposed lower stomach.

“Fuck why havent we been doin’ this every time you buy from me huh?, feel s’good” he grunts and thrusts his hips up to meet yours as you bounce down. Your ass bouncing off his thighs making an obscene and filthy slapping noise that drowns out the melodic sounds of nature. “Screw money baby, just want this pussy as payment instead. Want it all the time god~” he rambled off as you continued riding him, your hips moving fast and frenziedly chasing your high.

“Gonna- fuck im gonna cum Ed’s, baby shit” you let out a wanton moan when he starts abusing your clit with his thumb, rubbing circles like before though this time with no barrier. “Cum baby, cum on this dick dirty girl come on” he eggs you on as he speeds up his thumb making your legs shake slightly and the bouncing and rocking of your hips falter.

With a moan loud enough you swore you scared birds away, the knot in your stomach snaps and your climax crashes over you. Your cunt squeezes Eddie's cock and as he watches your body shake as you cum, his own climax hits him like a truck. Thick ropes of cum spilling deep inside you.

After a few moments pass, letting the two of you catch your breaths and your high’s wash over you. Eddie speaks up. “You know, I was only intending the different payment to be a kiss” he chuckles softly, his cheeks flushed. Your eyes snap up to his, your mouth agape. “I- well” you try speaking but he cuts you off with a belly laugh. “Baby it's all good, this was much better payment. Pay me like this from now on okay?” He lowered his voice again, the softness making your body turn to mush in his arms that he wraps around you.

“And uh hey could you pull the baggie i gave you out again, there's something you missed about it” he sounded nervous all of a sudden. You give him a questioning look before leaning over a bit and pulling it out of your bag that laid on the ground.

As you pulled it out you noticed writing that you hadn't before on it. The bag read ‘wanna go out on a date with me?” In Eddie's chicken scratch version of a handwriting.

A big smile spreads on your face and you look back up at him. “Well?” He questions, a nervous edge to his voice still, did he really think you'd say no? “Eddie, what do you think the answer is” you motion down with your eyes to where your bodies are still connected, his limp cock still buried inside you twitches a bit.

“So it's a yes?” He smiles softly and leans up ready to kiss you once again, he never wants to stop now that he gets to. You give him a nod and chuckle softly.

→ a/n: yes this is the cliché ‘you can pay me another way’ typa fic lol. i just really liked the idea, the name is also a play on quid pro quo if you didnt get that.

[benisasoftboi]

I am so happy with the conclusion of BBC Ghosts.

There were so many things I loved about the final series that I can't even keep it all straight in my brain, I'll have to rewatch it all (and the Christmas special, of course! Must remember it's the not the true end yet!)

But something I can immediately say I loved was what they didn't do. See, that line in the trailer that turned out to be from episode 5 - about there being a pattern to when they move on - worried me. One of the best things about the show, to me, is how there truly is not any reason at all to why the ghosts are there, or when they go. It's something the creators have said over and over, and that the show has always backed up; we saw so many times that, unlike in most ghost media, addressing unfinished business or achieving emotional resolution changes absolutely nothing. Pat hit some sort of emotional resolution three times. And Julian realised the importance of family, and Robin saved someone’s life, and Thomas discovered the truth of his death, and so on and so on. Finding closure isn't the end, and equally, the end isn't predicated by a climatic conclusion. It just happens. And the same is true for why people become ghosts. It just happens. And you exist, and fill your days, and then you’re gone. And no one knows why.

It's kind of the most agnostic television show I've ever seen.

I love that. Every other afterlife show I've ever seen has some kind of reward and punishment system. Or at least says that there's a reason for things, some kind of higher power at play, not necessarily a god but something like it. Even the American adaptation felt the need to bring Hell into it, which is why I need to specify that I'm only talking about the British version here. And I feel like a lot of fans wanted there to be reasons too, or felt like there simply had to be, that it wasn't even a question. I get why - it's not just because it's the standard for ghost narratives. It's really uncomfortable to think about the randomness of life and death. But Mary didn't go because of anything that happened before that day, and Cap was never going to go because he came out, and one day, when they've all gone, there won't have been a reason for it.

Because the real point of BBC Ghosts is that there is no point. You’ve just got to make it through the days, surrounded by people that irritate you, trapped in a confusing world where you’re mostly powerless. And it sucks, and you're angry, and sad, and bored as hell. And you also find happiness in the mundane chaos, and you get really good at chess, and watch the ants in the garden, and write bad poetry, and read terrible romance novels, and gamble money you don't have, and go camping, and play games, and learn French, and watch reality TV, and have sex with a decapitated Tudor nobleman’s body, and dance to old music, and look at the stars, and find that you actually really love all those annoying people after all, and that’s the point.

[bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove]

BLUE- PROLOUGUE

Summary - Y/N Dursley had always been the ideal daughter, doting, loving and obedient. However, she gets a letter saying she's a witch and is invited to attend Hogwarts, her parents are quick to turn on her. All she has after her parents turn on her is her cousin Harry. But, she falls in love slowly with the friend of her cousin's enemy, Theodore Nott.

Word count - 1711

Warnings - Female reader, use of Y/N, Dursley's treatment of Harry, talks of Voldemort

Author's Note - Welcome to BLUE! I've been planning this series for a long time now and I've finally been able to sit down and start writing it! I currently don't know what house to place the reader in so if you want to be part of the decision head over to my poll to vote on her house! It's been a long time since I've last posted a fic but I'm finally back! I'm gonna try my best to stay on top of my updating and keep posting. I do have a lot of requests to fulfill so I'll start working on those as I wait for the poll results! Lots of love to all of you and thank you for your patience!

THERE WILL BE A TAGLIST SO PLEASE COMMENT OR MESSAGE ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED!

She has always been the ideal daughter and the ideal sister, treating her family with nothing but love and respect. She wished she could say the same for her brother, Dudley. Now Dudley was the most typical spoiled brat there was, he treated his parents like they were made of money and his sister as a servant. When it came to their cousin however, the poor boy was stuck under the stairs, being left out of many things because of who his parents were. Now she didn’t understand what was wrong with the boy, she was close with the boy, he was her best friend and she was his. 

They were close in age which aided in their closeness, her parents disliking her being so close with the boy but not saying anything in fear of upsetting their beloved daughter. The Dursley girl, who had a heart of gold, used any allowance given to her to get new things for her cousin who was stuck under the stairs. She shared whatever she could with him, whether it be food, clothes, books or toys. On her birthdays, she chose to celebrate with Harry, always making sure she included the boy in her special day.

On Harry’s birthdays, she was always the only one to get the boy a present, she would save up her allowance as well as any birthday money to get the boy new clothes, toys, books, games and whatever else she could think of. She never understood the animosity between her parents and her cousin but she never questioned it in fear of being yelled at by them.

It was Dudley’s birthday, he had requested they go to the zoo for the day. It was a nice change of pace, actually doing something everyone enjoyed on the spoiled boy’s birthday. She was squished in the backseat between her brother and her cousin, hating every second of it because Dudley kept trying to pull Harry’s hair and pulled hers on one too many occasions. “Stop pulling my hair! Mum, tell him to stop!” The girl complained to her mother.

“Leave your sister alone, Dudley. This is supposed to be a happy day, not one filled with complaining,” Her mother lightly scolded. The long necked woman’s last comment hurt her daughter but that’s what always happened when she would complain about Dudley.

As Vernon parked the car and the family walked into the zoo, Dudley ran ahead trying to pull his sister along with him. She pulled her arm away from him and stuck by Harry’s side instead. The day at the zoo was rather uneventful until the end of the trip when Dudley somehow got stuck in a snake enclosure and the snake got out. However poor Harry was locked into his ‘room’ under the stairs for a week. She would sneak the boy out at night so he could eat something and actually move around.

Now it was a couple weeks later, close to Harry’s birthday, she had already gotten him his present which was clothes that actually fit him. Harry was bringing in the post, handing his cousin a letter addressed to her, keeping a letter for himself and handing his uncle the rest of the post. “Harry, give me your letter, they’re gonna take it, we can open them later,” She whispered to her cousin. He handed over his letter and she hid them in the cupboard under the stairs. 

Later on that night, she snuck downstairs and unlocked Harry’s door to find the boy awake, holding their letters in his hand. “You first,” Harry said, putting her letter in her open hand. She let out a breath as she broke the seal and pulled the letter out. 

“Dear Miss Dursley, We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed the list of supplies needed for the school year. The term starts on September 1st, we await your owl until July 31st. Sincerely Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress,” She read the letter aloud, “I’m a witch? They’re real?”

Harry left her questions unanswered as he opened his own letter, “My letter says the same. I don’t understand.”

The two of them stayed up the rest of the night, rereading their letters over and over. They stayed awake until the sun rose and Petunia began to walk down the stairs. “What are you doing awake? It’s a Saturday, you usually sleep in,” Her mother questioned.

“Harry and I got the same letter in the post yesterday. It was strange, it was from a school called Hogwarts,” She explained to her mother.

“Vernon! Get up!” The woman shouted to her husband. The fat man came down the stairs at a snail’s pace.

“What is it, Petunia?” The woman ripped the two letters from her daughter’s hand, leaving a large paper cut on her palm as her mother handed the letters over. Her father’s face paled, ripping up the letters.

As the days flew by, the letters flew in by the hundreds, both of them receiving letter after letter until Vernon decided to take them to a remote island to get away from the letters. However, instead, at midnight on Harry’s birthday, a large man had knocked the door down looking for the two. Standing up to the adults and telling them that the two children’s names had been put down since they had been born. The girl was surprised to hear about how her aunt had actually died and about Hogwarts itself. Right then, Hagrid, who had finally introduced himself, brought the two to London.

They had traveled to a place called Diagon Alley, where Hagrid brought the two to the wizards bank to fetch money out of Harry’s vault before starting their shopping spree. They went to all of the shops, the last stop being Ollivanders to get their wands. Harry went first, trying out two other wands before finding his match. It was a little harder for her, trying five wands before she finally found her match. 

Hagrid knocked on the window, holding up a snow owl in a cage and a calico cat in another. They ended their day getting something to eat at the leaky cauldron, Hagrid finally telling Harry how he got his scar, how Voldemort killed his parents and tried to kill him even though he was a baby. That night, neither of them could sleep, staying up all night going through their lists and triple checking they got everything they needed for the first term. The next morning was the day they actually got to see the cryptic school.

Hagrid only gave them their tickets when they got to King Cross Station, telling them to follow their tickets before disappearing. The two cousins tried to find the platform and resorted to asking a guard at the station who was no help at all. That’s when they saw a family of redheads talking about muggles. They looked at each other with a nervous smile before choosing to approach the older woman.

“Excuse me, how do you get…” Harry wasn’t sure how to ask his question but the woman was quick to understand.

“Onto the platform, of course dear. It’s Ron’s first time as well. All you have to do is walk straight at the wall between platforms nine and ten. If you’re a bit nervous, it’s better to do it at a bit of a run,” The woman explained to the two. So together they jogged at the wall as the woman instructed, finding their way to the platform.

“Woah,” Y/N said in awe, taking in her surroundings. 

They were able to find a compartment containing the same boy they met earlier, asking if it was okay if they sat with him. “I’m Ron Weasley,” The boy introduced himself.

“Y/N Dursley and Harry Potter,” Her cousin introduced them both.

“You’re Harry Potter! Do you have the…you know?”

“The scar?” The girl finished his question for him. The redhead nodded and Harry lifted his hair to reveal the lighting bolt scar on his forehead. The three bonded on the train ride to Hogwarts, getting all of the sweets from the trolley and meeting yet another first year by the name of Hermione Granger. She was looking for a boy’s toad before instructing the three to change into their robes. They all did and just as they finished the train had stopped. All of the students had filed out of the train, meeting up with Hagrid who led them to the boats that would take them to the castle.

The view was breathtaking, the only lights coming from the lanterns on the boats and the castle itself. It was like a dream, she had to pinch herself to convince herself she wasn’t actually dreaming. When she winced she deduced that she wasn’t dreaming and this was actually real. Hagrid led them to one of the professors, the same professor who signed their letters. She was leading them up to the Great Hall for the sorting.

“There are four houses, they will be your home for the next few months until summer, they are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin,” The professor explained to the group.

“There's not a witch or wizard from Slytherin that hasn’t gone bad,” Ron whispered to the cousins. 

“So it’s true what they say, Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. Draco, Draco Malfoy. This is Crabbe, Goyle and Theodore Nott,” A blond boy interrupted from behind them.

Harry and Draco had a quite heated exchange before the lot of them finally followed the older professor into the Great Hall. The sorting ceremony dragged, Harry getting placed into Gryffindor along with Herminone, Ron and the boy who lost his toad, Neville.

“Y/N Dursley,” The professor called. She walked up to the stool on shaky legs before sitting, the hat getting placed onto her head. The hat coming to life spooked her a bit but she was able to relax for a second.

“Hmmm, you’re a tough one to place, you’re intelligent, brave, loyal and clever. Big traits of all four houses, but where to put you? You would do great things in all houses…Ahhh… I got it, better be…”

[snvffsoda]

some random/silly headcanons for Fox!!

highly experienced knife fighter, and knows basic hand-to-hand combat with or without a karambit, don’t let his height and age fool you, years of using his wits and his strengths to his benefit have gotten him not only far in life but many many, many, victims nowadays he doesn't even need to do all the hard work, he can just point at whoever he wants to brutalize on his next stream and they're there, but his skills are no laughing matter, many have tried to fight back taking his height and age as a means to overpower him and while in very rare cases strength has won over skill (which is why he uses guards now) it usually ends with the victim being clawed out or unconscious by the end of it

locked away, in an old safe somewhere, ren still keeps strades old button up he just can't..let it go, no matter how hard he tries he hates the man, what he's done to him, the lies he fooled Ren into the belief that his torture was to become deeper, to have a bond no other could have, Ren knows to know it was just strades own selfish desires and its those desires that got him killed, he knows better to admire the man, but..even now, when he’ll sit in his penthouse and wonder, what could've been, he thinks if Strade would be proud of him, if he could see him now.

the reason he hasn't been streaming much as of late anymore is well, he's getting older. Don't get him wrong, he loves the thrill of it all! excitedly asking his chat and bidders questions to the highest seller like a twisted game of family feud, the blood rush he gets when he saws off the leg of a victim, or slices their throat all for the eyes of his viewers to see, he loves the thrill, the hunt, but sometimes, as much as he plans his schedules, and outfits, and ideas of torture, most days, he wants to enjoy the quiet, the sound of his favorite anime playing slowly while sipping coffee, the fun of taking a vacation simply because he can and he feels like it, he knows it's stale and boring but he likes it, and hopes eventually he can take some well deserved time for himself

always on time and on schedule with anything, and everything meetings, streams, handling his guards around, food, and doesn't like changing his schedule (he's a busy man) he doesn't like when he's late to something at all, or when someone else is, and will get irritated if someone or something, gets in the way of that, whether it be as simple as a scheduled limo being late, or a meeting that was postponed

even at the ripe old age of 47 (which he still denies being old) he still has amazing hygiene and grooming routines, but now he has the luxury of a hell of a lot more money than he did when he was younger, so his tail and hair is on a whole other level of soft, even when he isn't trying to, he's been told by not only his associates but his closer allies that being his guards that he always smells nice, never a smelly day for the fox, unless he gets too excited with a stream or two that is, then maybe with all the blood, and bile that gets spilled on him, he may not smell the best,

if he likes you, and keeps you to himself, he’ll spoil you rotten, whatever it is you want or desire he will make sure it's handled and given with care and affection, of course, some nights he may ask you to dress up for him, or maybe he’d bring his knife to the equation in sex or foreplay (he loves the way you bleed) but he's always sweet and comforting about it, sure you may see him be stressed due to a scheduling error, or his chat not being as active as they were a day before, but he always has a soft spot for you, even if he's angry.

loves rambling about his favorite anime to you and his affection towards the style of art as a whole, he loves just being able to be silly, watch his eyes light up as he talks about the newest episode of his anime and how he can't believe that character betrayed who and how much he loves this character, he's a weeb at heart, even now, and he accepts it, and is very passionate about it

has contemplated starting a separate gaming stream before, but knows that his type of content wouldnt work since it would be hard for a viewer to sped 1,000 dolars to see him gouge someone's eye out and then 2 minutes later that same viewer seeing Fox play genshin Impact, though he wishes he could just do it once in and while alas, he usually plays his games when off streams usually, but will occasionally forget to close them and it'll be left it on in the background while he does his snuff streams, the sound of peaceful anime tunes playing just subtly in the background for any eagle-eyed viewer of his streams to notice

since his job constantly has him being extroverted and charismatic to keep viewers and bidders entertained, when he's not working he is actually pretty quiet most times, of course, he’ll laugh and smile, and be joyful, he just naturally is, but there's definitely a noticeable switch in his personality when the cameras are on and when they're off, he just seems quieter, more likely to hum in response pleasantly to someone rather than give them a barking laugh with a smile, not that he's sad, he's just ‘recharging his social battery’ as he likes to put it

has an extremely keen scent and can recognize almost everyone he knows from their scent alone so if he's ever blindfolded (he could be for any number of reasons) his senses heighten even more and he can smell things perfectly and stronger, and when eating something really good that being his favorite raw meats or culinary dishes, his eyes will pinpoint and glow in excitement from the flavors and texture he can't help it when he does, and he’ll tend to make more animalistic growling feral sounds when he's eating something he REALLY LIKES whether that be chicken hearts, or your actual heart <3

[z3rinn]

# #. GROCERY STORE !! pt. 2

a part 2 to my grocery store post !! This time it contains scarabia - diasomania ! ahem- going grocery shopping is usually a mundane task, boring and usual. that is until the twst boys want to join you in your outing. you just hoped nothing would go wrong this time… for once…

Sorry this took so long to get out !! I hope you all enjoy !! ♡

# #. KALIM AL-ASIM

Going grocery shopping with Kailm is definitely an experience. Its basically like bringing a kid to a candy store. He is ogling at everything around him. That's when you realize he's probably never even been to a grocery store-

By the way he's running around and pointing at everything- putting as many things in the cart as possible- (which you would not be able to pay for) you would like to place him in the baby seat of the cart, but alas he can't fit. So you just settle for placing him in the cart instead. Its at times like this you can imagine where Jamil is coming from. But its ok because he's a cutie patootie and i love him w all my heart- Oh! And just know that he finds the ride absolutely delightful.

Kalim tries to take turns with you when riding the cart, pushing you around the store while laughing happily. He walks into aisles youve never even seen before, showing off weird things that are fascinating to the both of you. Like that self washing cup! Or those lava lamps that costs well over 5000 thamarks !! But he could easily pay for them. You never thought grocery shopping could be so fun- and so you can't help but smile back at his amusement, joining along as the two of you ran around target.

9/10 it's a little overwhelming at first, yet going with him just makes you happy beyond words. Plus he pays!

# #. JAMIL VIPER

Jamil is obviously one of the best people to go grocery shopping with. He's a food expert, and he knows exactly what to get and do while there. Plus, he is most likely tagging along with you to get some things for the Scarabian kitchens.

As I said, Jamil's a food expert, and he knows just what to buy and get while out. Like I said in my previous post, Ruggie knows how to haggle with grocery store managers- and I think Jamil does too. He knows what products are the best, yet are also the cheapest, it's not like he's paying with Kalim's money. (Although he did offer to give you his card!) Jamil is also the type to not get distracted while out, so whenever you try to but something you definitely don't need, he'll snap you back in place.

While out with him make sure not to buy any frozen food, as it'll make him think your prefer that over his fresh and healthier food. And he'll give you a judging look due to it. Oh! And he's gonna cling to you the entire time. This is one of the only moments he'll be able to hang out with you without having to worry about any of his duties and Kalim. So don't question it if he holds on to you or if he's pressed up against you the entire time.

10/10, I'd go with him any day of the week. It doesn't even have to be to the grocery store smh.

# #. VIL SCHOENHEIT

Vil is taking you to some fancy ass grocery store. Like whole foods or sprouts, maybe even the mall. Or whatever the twst equivalent is. As if he'll you just go to some random grocery store- And with him- it's not gonna be all fun and games -_-

He immediately takes you to the veggie and fruits section, piling on good enough amounts of spinach, broccoli, tomatoes. He also buys fruit for his homeade smoothies, those will make your skin glow for days afterwards. It's annoying- you just want your chips- but you cant because of the preservatives. You just want some cookies. Yet you cant. Honestly you were this close to just falling to the floor and crying your heart out like a frenchman. "I JUST WANT MY JUNK FOOD" Shopping with him just seems like a chore instead of something fun tbh.

He's right in front of the cart, dropping only the necessities into it. You were this close to running him over the cart if he slapped your hand one more time for trying to reach out to the chips. He gives you a glare, and tries to resist your puppy eyes. With a click of his tounge he eventually does calm down, dropping a bag of Cheshire Chips into the cart. He might allow it if you come over to Pomefiore to do some face masks with him.

5/10. It's like going shopping with a mom or like a weight trainer or smth. You understand why he's doing this of course- But theres no funny business with him. Zero. Sigh. Well he pays at least. I LOVE HIM I SWEAR-

# #. ROOK HUNT

When Rook notices you walking out of the broken down building you were staying in, from the tree right above your house, he obviously offered to accompany you on your endeavor! Even when you told him you were just going to the grocery store a part of him just couldn't help but be overjoyed. Oh how he just loved being out with you!

Rook is notorious for loving the smallest of details- the simplest things in life. So going to a grocery store and seeing all the beautiful people surrounding him- along with the gorgeous displays of food made his heart practically smile. You watch as he holds an apple in his hands, raising it up to the sky with a glorious smile on his face. (You're this close to just walking away-) He's humming in joy as he recites a poem of the luscious, juicy, red apple to you. Very fun !!

Meanwhile- when Rook is not being a hopeless romantic for apples, the huntsman is all fun and games !! He's straight up singing in the store, admiring anything and everything. He watches as you shop for groceries, a smile on his face. Rook lets you sit in the cart whenever you get tired, pushing you across the store while humming to himself lightly. Just don't say you're getting tired while going back. He'll carry you all the way back.

8/10- he's a bit over bearing at times. But its Rook so like what can you say about it? I love Rook yall.

# #. EPEL FELMIER

Epel is tagging along for two very important reasons! Firstly, his family has branched out to stores all across twisted wonderland- and he obviously has to make sure the quality and presentation were absolutely perfect! Secondly, he gets to hang out with you!

Epel makes his way to the fruits aisle first, dragging you along with a bright smile. His excitement is slowly seeping into you, causing you to laugh yourself. The two of you make your way to the fruits section, the both of you gawking and jumping up and down happily. After that little moment its basically a normal shopping spree. He has experience in going out to the grocery store with his family- so he helps out with practically everything!

He tries to show off as much as he can. He'll help out with the water packets, and baskets carrying them if your hands get tired. He will jump up to grab the snacks you need- that might be too high for you reach. Speaking of snacks - Being out with you lets Epel get junk food and snacks that Vil would NEVER allow- so maybe the two of you can sneak them in the middle of the night.

10/10 !! One of the best to go with! He doesn't bother you whatsover and is very helpful. Guys I love Epel so much KDHDVFTSSKS

# #. IDIA SHROUD

Uhhh- your more likely going to a electronics store- and then maybe stopping at the grocery store on the way back. There's NO way Idia would ever go out to a grocery store on his own. Especially if Doordash exists. But if you stop by an electronics store first, and you need a handsome firey head boy to show you around the store. How could he ever refuse??

He felt like a prince, leading you through his castle while showing off all his prized possessions. While in reality he was just walking through Best Buy or something, and was being an unemployed clerk. He probably pays for your electronics- or maybe he says he'll just make them for you! His designs are 100 times better obviously. However on your way out, he doesn't expect you to point out the whole foods or twst version is across the street.

He basically just sticks to you like a shadow while out. The poor dormleader can't help but be scared that people are gonna judge him for being blue all over. That is until you tell him this was your little shojou moment. Walking out in a supermarket together, inspecting what brand of eggs or milk you should get. It's the whole package! Well obviously now he can't complain. But now he might be just a bit too excited to be here.

6/10 Honestly if you needed groceries that badly you could've just asked him to order from online. Doordash is sooo much easier that doing it the plain (and scary) way.

# #. ORTHO SHROUD

Ortho probably tagged along to experience the "real" life. He's seen families on TV before- and he can't help but crave that domestic lifestyle. So when you ask if he wants to tag along- how could he ever refuse?

He's buzzing with excitement! Hovering around the grocery store with stars in his eyes. Usually he orders groceries from the comfort of his brother's dorm- it's a lot easier that way- but going outside is just so fun !! Ortho might even switch to his P.E form, as it'll make it easier for him to walk around the store like you! Although, he does want to try riding in the cart, it's something that everyone wants at least once in their lives- so how could you say no?

He's very helpful too, it's common courtesy since you took him out in the first place. He's able to reach high places and doesn't have trouble carrying the heavy things. Another plus is if your shy (like his brother) he's able to scan the store and find whatever you're looking for- without asking any employees for help! Sweetie pie fr.

10/10. He's one of the best to go with! Plus no complaints here (like his older brother)

# #. MALLEUS DRACONIA

Malleus? Why does he go??? He just wants to hang out with you. And maybe see how human grocery stores are nowadays. But its mainly the first one. Perhaps when the two of you are out on one of your nightly walks- you suddenly remember that, "Oh no! You forgot to get groceries!!" And now you have to take a menacing dragon man out with you.

Like others, Malleus tags along behind you, inspecting the many products and items in the aisles. He asks questions about products he finds interesting, he'll inspect all the different kinds of fruits (dragon fruits especially), and he'll find different products to try out. He'll always ask you for help too, asking if something is good enough to get. Like that tamagotchi in the corner !! He should get a bunch of friends for Roaring Drago...

He's so oblivious and confused it's kind of funny. Just imagine being a little kid and seeing a giant- like a literal GIANT- standing in the ice cream aisle inspecting the icecream sandwiches. Kinda silly ngl. Wait- what this- your phone is buzzing now? Who? Sebek? Wondering where Waka-sama is? Uh oh.

7/10! It's like going out w a kid whose never been to the outside world- but in a fun way. It would be higher if he told Lilia or Sebek he was tagging along tho... hopefully you don't go deaf from sebek yelling !

# #. LILIA VANROUGE

Did you bring him along? No! Of course not! Should you have noticed he was trailing behind you? Yes! But you didn't because he's an old fae that has experience? Right again! Does that excuse you? No. Obviously not. It's a rule by almost everyone in the dorm. Never bring Lilia grocery shopping. But your dumbass still did.

Well as long as he didn't feed you the food it was fine- right? So you'll let him tag along i guess. Lilia is the type to sit in the cart as you drag him around the store, and he only really gets out when he needs something. You guys probably stop by the spices aisle like 10 times- you feel bad for those in diasomania who are eating that mush. He tells you about the stores in Briar Valley and how he would take silver out when he was but a boy.

It's nice to listen to him as he drops another (that's 15) box of noodles into your hands- again, you feel bad for the people who are going to eat this. You guys probably bulk up on food while there- I mean it's totally not like Lilia has a butt load of money from being an old ass general right? And of course hes not gonna spoil you because your the best right? Yeah of course nottt. Just be careful at the end of your trip. As compensation for taking him with you he might offer to make you something.... and it might be a bit rude to say no....

9/10 ! It's nice listening to him talk- but uhm like many before this- you won't make it through his ...amazing... cooking skills.

# #. SILVER

Silver had spent most of his life living with fae and not many humans. Briar Valley doesnt have many grocery stores- instead being filled with various farmer markets and merchant's. Meaning he'd never been to a grocery store!! So obviously you had to invite him.

Silver is straight up just following you. He's wandering silently like a little cat, trailing from behind. He's looking around with a hint of curiosity. The store was very different from Sam’s- bigger and more luminous. It had a certain vibe to it. He liked it though, it was oddly comforting. Silver usually sticks to himself, but you can tell when something is confusing him. Take the dragon fruit for example, when he saw it a slight chuckle escaped his lips. It looked so different compared to the dragons and longs he’d met before. You couldn't help but laugh yourself- It’s fun watching him experience something new.

Silver is a very reliable man, if you ever need any help he won’t hesitate to jump in. He will help with the cart, the heavy groceries, the water jugs that weigh a mountain load. As you all know- Silver gets tired (and omg he's so pretty thats not fair) and wont hestiate to fall alseep on you if he ever gets tired. So easy solution: just put him in the cart and bury him in food. It’s easier to drag him that way. (instead of him sprawling on top of you)

10/10. Love him. I love HIM. HIIIMMMM. I LOVVVEEEEE HIM. RAAAAAAHHHH-

# #. SEBEK ZIGVOLT

There's no way in wonderland Sebek would ever go with you! He has duties to attend to! He has a beautiful, mystical, enchanting prince to protect!! Malleus was of the upmost importance, why would he ever go with a dumb human like you? You didnt matter compared to his leige-- Lilia is making him accompany you.

At first Sebek will grumble to himself, upset he couldn't stay with the majestic Malleus. Yet he soon remembers (you reminded him) that Lilia was the one to tell him to accompany you. So he immediately assumes this is a type of training for him !! Oh and now he's bragging that he got to join you on this trip instead of Silver- oh boy-

Like others, Sebek will help. Uhm. But like- loudly. As he carries the bags he will ask if you notice how strong and capable he is, a smirk on his face. And then he goes on a rant about Malleus. Whenever you need something you can't reach he will help, with a "human" comment on the tip of his tounge. And then he goes on about Malleus. It's kind of funny though not gonna lie- seeking a giant man boasting while getting groceries of all things. Very fun!

3/10. But a nine in my heart. He's so silly. Anyway. GRAAAHHH- I WANNA PULL HIS HAIR OUT (in a loving way !!)

[l0velynalani]

"𝙰𝙽𝙶𝙴𝙻 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙶𝙴"

summary:Your a famous singer who met a drunk Chuuya at a bar you two make conversation and exchange numbers a day later he calls you and arranges a date at a cafe to which he regonizes you as the famous singer you are when your song plays on the radio.

pairings: Chuuya x famous singer!reader

Warnings:Alchol mentioned,mild swearing,slight OOC

Y/N-your name | L/N-last name | S/N- Stage name

^^he's so adorable (✿˵•́ ᴗ •̀˵) 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I like to imagine Chuuya met you not knowing you were a singer cause he doesn't care whether you can sing or not he just likes YOU

But in order for him to not recognize you he’d probably be drunk or at a bar when he gets your number and starts talking to you before he slowly but surely realises you look a bit too familiar not like a “do I know you?” but as in “have I seen you somewhere?” (IFYKYK)

So when you two meet up at your usual bar and YOUR SONG starts playing on the radio he’ll be confused as to why your embarrassed

Also yk how most signers have a stage name? (Ex.doja cat,megan thee stallion,nicki manji etc) I like to imagine he realises and is so impressed by your hidden (not so much..) talent!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

It was around 11pm on a friday when you opened the door to a dimly lit bar where a redhead who looks like he's had one too many,but then again you came to drink too not to judge.

Sitting down at the poseur table beside him you flag down the bartender and order a shot gaining (drunk) Chuuyas attention “woahh you don't look like a drinker~?” his speech is slurred due to the alcohol but you can't help but find it adorable.”you come here often?” you question him as he laughs he was an oddball when he was drunk “nah I'm a busy man with busy stuff to do. Name’s Chuuya Nakahara and you aree-?”

You chuckle as you cut him off “names Y/n L/n I like your fedora reminds me of a video game character” you compliment him but he doesn't quite get it “you think my hat looks fake?!” he's appalled (it's not that deep Chuuya) you wave your arms out in an attempt to defend yourself “WHAT NO? I just meant your hat looks cool” you get defensive trying to explain yourself as you hear faint giggles “well thank you” again I repeat Chuuya is NOT Chuuya when he's drunk.

Eventually, your small talk turns into conversation which blooms into laughs and giggles which then transforms into exchanging numbers.Unfortunately, it's cut short when one of the port mafia limos come to pick him up “I really like you Nakahara,call me when you're sober if you want. We can arrange a date so I can get to know you more.” you say walking with him towards the car door “I’ve got your number I’ll make sure to call.” he winks at you before getting in the backseat of the limo and driving off.

About a day later around 4pm you're on a walk in a park, gold rays falling on your E/C pools as your hair gets caught in the wind. Your thoughts zoned out anywhere but in your head but you’re soon snapped out of it to a ringing phone, it was your phone. “Hello” you speak to the other line, stopping to sit at a park bench “It’s Chuuya, you still down for that date?” he can hear you giggling from his pov “alright pretty boy,where do you wanna go?” you decide to entertain this “meet me at a cafe at 8pm i'll send you the location,Oh and it's all on me you don't need to bring any money” then he hung up ,kinda mysterious???

Once you're finally ready you go outside and walk up the sidewalk to the cafe where Chuuya is already waiting “hey gorgeous ready for our date?” He says smirking like he just won an award.He opens the door for you as the familiar smell of coffee and baked goods flood your senses,it's warm, you already like the location choice as Chuuya makes it better by pulling your chair for you to sit down.Once you two get to chatting a familiar sound reaches your ear playing from the radio,its a song,It’s YOUR song.The read on your cheeks made it obvious you were somewhat embarrassed as soon as the song played which brung Chuuyas banter to a halt trying to find out what was wrong with you. Did you not like the food? Or..did you not like him “Hey..so uh you like the music it's from my favourite artist S/N..hah-” he gets nervous his insecurities taking over.”Oh yeah just kinda awkward hearing a song I sang” hes dumbfounded “what.?” it takes him a few minutes of brief silence before realising “WAIT A FUCKING SECOND.. YOU’R S/N????”

Lets just say you became more than just his favourite artist that day.

[bigassmoth]

Gifts for various tokyo debunker guys (Vagastrom, Jabberwock, Mortkranken) SFW

Alan: a simple bluefin tuna patch that you ironed and sewed onto his fishing bag. You did it as a prank, coordinating with Leo to snatch the bag while Alan was preoccupied. You both figured he would be confused and question who touched his belongings but ultimately let out his usual defeated sigh before letting it be. But the captain really loved his little fish, making no comment on it's sudden appearance. He always was positioned it to "see" the water while Alan fished. He wants to name it but he's bad with names. Your little joke turned out to be a great source of comfort for Alan, who is very grateful to have a fishing buddy.

Leo: very normal looking non-trending curry from a small mom and pop shop- so spicy even Leo needs milk. At first he was laughing at you for getting him such a cheap gift- don't you know that people send him waaaayyy more during his streams? Whatever, your try-hard NPCness was entertaining enough for the moment. But after getting half-way through, with his eyes red, Leo begrudgingly asks you for the shop location. The cute elderly couple has a new loyal customer. Too bad Leo keeps trying to get you to eat the toxic stuff, though.

Sho: keychain that looks like his motorcycle, where you hand-painted "Bonnie" onto the license plate. He uses it for his foodtruck keys. Typically he avoids such uncool accessories but the little charm has stolen his heart. One day he gets too rough with his lanyard and one of the rear-view mirrors breaks off. Spends the next two hours panicking while he glues it back on. Begins his project to reinforce the motorcycle through pins and resin. Leo says "just buy a new one" to which Sho grumbles, "It would be a pain in the ass to have to paint on 'Bonnie'"

---

Haru: annual membership to a tractor/pet supply store that carries materials and food for exotic and farm animals. Practical gift for a practical guy, he is beside himself in gratitude. The deals he gets as a member would theoretically slow his spending but we know how this guy manages him money- "I got a 20 pack of 50lbs of Horse Electrolytes for only 300,000 yen! Perfect for when we get horse anomalies :) and I also got the stuff I went there for, too." He is so happy you can't bring yourself to scold him for being such a sucker.

Towa: lavender and rose simple syrups which Haru adds to Towa's drinks- otherwise Towa drinks it straight. The guy doesn't need any more energy than he already has so it's usually mixed into a steamer or lemonade. Towa goes through the two big bottles you made within a week- and comes begging you for more (while you are in class). He would love to watch you make them, humming on your counter. After seeing the full process he savors them a bit more- and also starts bringing you mystery plants to make into syrup. Don't use the wolfsbane though, he plans on spiking Ren's energy drinks with that.

Ren: steam giftcard. He is ecstatic,he nearly cries before catching himself. He grumbles out a stiff "thanks" and pockets it. Of course he thinks VERY hard about what to spend it on- he has so many games afterall. He ends up purchasing a limited edition charity pack- one for ocean conservation. It comes with a squid character skin which he never uses but looks at often. He will brag about this cosmetic pack often while carrying you through the levels.

---

Yuri: "worlds best doctor" mug, he scoffs and says that you are passe and unprofessional. It is his favorite mug, he only wants tea in this mug. Sometimes he just looks at it all smugly and polishes it. When Jiro wants to cheer him up, he makes Yuri a cup of tea and makes sure to hand him the mug with the campy "World's Best Dr!" print on display. It always cheers him up a little.

Juri: traditional japanese tea set, at first he is confused. The beaker works perfectly fine, why does he need this fancy and cumbersome set-up? But it is nostalgic and he finds himself handling it perfectly. Yuri complains as the tea now takes longer to prepare- especially since Juri found a mysterious tea-pet on his windowsill and now gives the pet two washes for every pot.

[tinytime10]

So I have a long complicated and tragic backstory for Warriors. because Hyrule Warriors is my favorite game right now, and I don't have an excuse to talk about him very much. Then I realized the internet exists so here's something nobody asked for.

My Hyrule Warriors Link headcanon backstory:

 So Hyrule Warriors Link was born in the Hebra mountains. He was born to two well respected members of the community. He lived there for about 3 years before tragedy struck his home. A band of marauding monsters rated his small village. Killing his mother and many of the other people in the village, Link has very few memories of Hebra because after his mother's tragic death his father moved  with him to Castle Town. 

In Castle Town things don't go any better for poor Link. His father, distraught with grief, turned to drinking away his loving wife's memory, the pain of losing her too much to bear. As a result the 3-year-old Link was severely neglected and a few kind Neighbors were the only reason he was cared for.

 Something of an interlude to this section of the story. This is when Link's father met Linkle’s mother and she reminded him of his lost love. After a few flings he wound up bearing Linkle as a result. Linkle's mother never knew that he had another kid.

By the time Link turns somewhere between 6 or 7 His father drinks himself to death. Link is left homeless with no money. It's not long before he is swept up by one of the Coliseum gladiators. He is branded a Slave and sold. As a Coliseum Kid raised around thieves, beggars, prostitutes and gladiators. He knows everything about the kinds of things a kid his age shouldn't know about. He fights the other Coliseum kids to win his gladiator master beer money. If he wins he gets to eat that night if he loses, he's beaten. He wins his fair share of fights and loses his fair share of them. But he sees the other Coliseum kids as his siblings.

 His master always threatened to sell him to a brothel, once he was 14 and they were legally willing to take him. So he was forced to  keep his hair very long because it made him prettier and therefore worth more. By the time he was 12 he had waist length hair. When he was 13 his master was killed in an arena fight and he ran back to the streets. Link went to the higher class section of Castle town because he knew no one would ever look for him there. He cut his hair to the top of his shoulder blades and tried to dress like he was at least a middle class kid.

 But it wasn't very convincing.

When trying to steal anything valuable out of a house, he was caught by the city guard. Who started to beat him just as Impa was walking past. She stops them, seeing potential, she brings Link into the military under the guise of paying penance for his thievery, by doing two years of military training.

 His time in the military at first was an extremely difficult adjustment. He was terrified of everything, thinking if he failed some sort of training sequence or lost a sparring round, he would be beaten and starved for it. One time he broke another recruits arm for trying to steal his food. Turns out that recruit was just trying to ask him a question and had reached a little too close to Link's bowl.

 Eventually he did learn that their idea of punishment wasn't nearly as bad as what he'd already endured at a much younger age. With this realization he became insufferable. In his mind they weren't really going to do anything that bad. It became a whole lot easier to break all the rules without being afraid of the repercussions. Impa saw the potential in him and didn't want that to go to waste. Despite how unruly of a child Link was, he was very good at what he did. He was such an incredible fighter, Impa just had to find a way to get him to listen. So she did, they made a verbal contract, since at this point Link couldn't read, that she would have rights of punishment over him, and that he listened to his commanding officers. In exchange she would train him personally, to be much more than any run of the mill Hylian Soldier. So she set out to create the perfect blend between Shika ideals and Hylian teamwork and  collaboration focused strategies.

 By the time he was 16 the war of eras kicked off for real. He became a captain and the hero of courage. When the game's events kicked off, I had cannon that he was not quite 17 at the beginning of the war. Making him the youngest captain they'd ever had in the Hylian military. Especially considering the fact that legally he wasn't even supposed to be in the military until he was 17.  But for the war's sake they were willing to turn a blind eye to that.

 so this is his backstory. I have so many headcanons about Warriors someone please ask me. I want to rant more. I know no one asked for this but I had fun writing this. There is so much that I skipped over for the sake of not making a monstrously long post. So if anyone's interested in hearing the rest of the stories please  feel free to ask.

[luv-kakashi]

One of us is dead

chapter twelve - sleepover

chapter eleven | chapter thirteen

Sumire, why are you in Konoha?" I asked, my head resting on her lap as she played with my hair.

Her fingers froze for a moment, then slowly resumed, smoothing out my strands. She traced my cheek softly before giving it a playful pinch. "Why else?" she replied, "I'm here for you."

"That's not what I meant," I said as I raised my head to meet her gaze, "How are you physically here? How did you leave the Hidden Rivers Village? Why did you leave?"

"My, that was a lot of questions, little one," she chuckled softly, "Let's make this more fun—how about a game? A question for a question, and I promise I'll tell you everything."

Her playful smile marked a thin veil disguising unreadable memories that have hardened with time.

"Okay, I'll ask first," Sumire said point-blank, her tone suddenly sombre.

Her gaze locked onto mine, unwavering, as the playful air between us dissolved, "Two years ago after mother's death, where did you go?"

The silence between us was palpable, as each tick of the clock heightened the dense tension between us.

Telling her the truth will be too much for her to handle. Telling her the truth will only cause her to worry. Telling her the truth could shatter the delicate, fragile peace that we have now.

"I was doing missions in Kirigakure, I was still technically a chunin of the Hidden Mist Village so one of my old teachers took me back," I said, lying through my teeth.

I stare down at my palms, swallowing the truth of my lie. I'm disgusting. These hands and blood of mine have killed—relentlessly, brutally, and violently. Shinobi, civilians, criminals. But at the end of the day, they were all human. Each life, a soul lost because of me. I've been reaping lives on the orders of others as if life itself had no value, no meaning.

And on a selfish whim, I don't want Sumire to see me as a cold-hearted murderer. I don't want her to look at me and see a monster where her little sister used to be—the same sister who once dreamed of simpler times in our cramped attic, making up stories of a brighter future.

"So that Lady who was there the day mom died was a teacher of yours?" she asked.

"Hey! It's my turn to ask a question," I remarked, "So how did you, a person whose legs don't work, end up in Konoha, many, many miles away from the Hidden Rivers Village?"

"Ah," Sumire said faintly, her fingers stilling in my hair, "It wasn't easy, but when you're determined, the distance becomes irrelevant."

"Sumire, I'm being serious. Stop avoiding my question," I said, my tone firm as I sat up to face her directly.

She sighed, the glint in her eyes fading. "You're too inquisitive for your own good, little one. After mother's death, father wasn't very kind to me... In a way, we lost both you and mother when you left." She glanced away, placing her hands in her lap.

"He started drinking more... It was a nightmare," she continued, her voice trembling. "He turned the house upside down, searching for more money to drink away. And one day, he decided that I was too much of a burden for him to look after. After all, I'm disabled and unable to work. I bring nothing to the family but trouble," she sniffled, wiping away her tears.

"It wasn't long before he kicked me out of the house. Thankfully, some of the clan members took me in but I just couldn't bring myself to accept their help," she continued, her voice heavy with pain.

"I just couldn't bring myself to burden them... it would have been far too cruel. So, I just left, but I didn't get very far because well I'm disabled," she laughed dryly, "A shinobi found me and helped me get away from father, from the clan and he let me stay here... he said that I'll be safe here and did some sort of jutsu and said that traces of chakra energy will be hidden from other shinobi."

My eyes start to sting as I listen to her story. The pain and the loneliness she endured flooded over me like a wave.

"I'm so sorry Sumire," I cried, "I didn't know that leaving you caused you this much pain. I'm so so sorry."

"It's not your fault, little one. You had a duty to do," Sumire said, her voice softening. "I'm sure at some point, father would have kicked me out anyway. He never truly cared for either of us."

The tears wash over me, and I can't help but pull Sumire into a hug. Her frame is fragile against mine, and I hold her tightly, hoping to offer some comfort.

But wait.

I pull back slightly, my confusion and panic evident in my expression as my thoughts scramble to piece together the details of her story. Something doesn't add up. Why would a shinobi house a fugitive and conceal her trace?

"What do you mean that a shinobi helped you escape? A shinobi led you to this dingy shack and said that you could stay here?" I asked.

"Little one, you're terrible at this game—it's my turn to ask a question," Sumire chuckled, wiping away the last of her tears. "So, why did you cut your hair so short?"

I stared at her, frustration mounting. "Here you are, worrying about my hair when a so-called 'shinobi' takes you to this cabin, installs you in here erasing all traces of your chakra. Sumire, who is this man?"

"Nuh uh, answer me first."

"Fine, when I was doing my missions, my long hair stuck out like a sore thumb. It's just so bright and red. It didn't take much for enemy shinobi to recognise me as an Uzumaki. So, I cut it," I said, "Tell me, who is this man?"

"I... I can't seem to remember his name; he said that if I followed him, I'd meet up with you. So, without thinking twice I went with him."

"You're telling me you followed some random stranger, who for Kami knows why, knew who I am, and promised you could meet me?" I snapped, my voice rising in disbelief. The last threads of my composure had finally given way.

Sumire's eyes widened slightly, her fingers fidgeting nervously in her lap. "I didn't think it was dangerous," she whispered. "I was desperate to see you again."

The panic inside me bubbled over. "But that's just it, Sumire. You don't know who this man is or what his intentions are! What if he's already watching us? What if we've been played this whole time? What if he's related to someone I've killed in a mission and has installed you here to take vengeance by hurting you?" I stood up, pacing, my mind racing with every possible worst-case scenario, "If we try to leave Konoha, Kami knows if he will follow us..."

"I didn't think it would be like that," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I just... I thought I was doing the right thing by coming here. I didn't mean to put you in danger, Y/N, I swear."

She lowered her head, guilt etching itself into every line of her expression. "I'm sorry... I just wanted us to be together again, away from all the danger."

I stopped pacing across the room as my thoughts tried to piece together who this 'shinobi' was.

"Sumire... what did this person look like?"

"I couldn't really see what he looked like, he wore a mask and he had a really deep voice."

Sumire's words sent a chill down my spine. "A mask and a deep voice?" I echoed, my mind flashing to the masked man who followed me from The Byakuya to the Hidden Rivers Village.

"Yeah... He always kept his face hidden. He said it was for my protection," Sumire continued, her voice trembling slightly. "Actually... I don't think he ever told me his name either, but he seemed to know everything about me—and about you."

Shit, shit, shit. It must be him. It must be the same masked man who burned down the village. The same masked man who wants me to spy on Kushina.

My heart pounded in my chest like a drum as my breathing became erratic and shallow as the realisation sank in. Shit, the masked man had gotten to Sumire long before he hunted me down. He must have been watching us from the shadows for who knows how long, always lurking just out of sight. He must have been. My chest tightened as every worst-case scenario ran through my mind.

"Y/N are you okay? Is there somet-"

"This man, we can't trust him," I interrupted, my voice sharper than I intended. Without waiting for a response, I rushed to the shelves, pulling open each drawer and shelf. My hands trembled as they fumbled through the scattered paper and clutter, desperately searching for an empty scroll.

"Y/N... are you in trouble?"

My mind doesn't register the question Sumire asked as it hangs in the air. I tear open the empty scroll with trembling hands, biting down on my finger until blood wells up. The urgency gnawed at me. I need to do something, anything to save Sumire.

"Y/N... what are you doing?" Sumire's voice wavers behind me, but my focus stays locked. I can't afford to lose control now as I draw out a jutsu on the scroll before inscribing the last few symbols.

"Sumire, this scroll contains a sealing jutsu," I explained, my voice trembling slightly as I rolled up the scroll. "It's a specific type of sealing jutsu... when you open the scroll, it will release my chakra, a signal that only I can feel. If that same masked man or someone who works with him shows up here, open the scroll and I'll know and I'll come to you."

Sumire's eyes widened as she watched me, her hands holding the scroll tensely.

"But... why do I need something like this?"

I couldn't bring myself to meet her gaze, "I don't know... I'm sorry. But we can't trust this masked man. We need to be prepared."

After handing her the scroll, I say my goodbye to her before making my way out of the dingy cabin and through the densely packed forest.

He must have anticipated my departure from The Byakuya long before I even made my decision. Had he been watching from the shadows all this time, pulling the strings without me knowing? It was the only explanation. It must be.

My thoughts were soon interrupted by a grappling vine emerging from the earth as it wrapped around my leg, stopping me in my tracks as I stumbled to gain my balance.

Kami, why does the floor love me so much?

"Long time no see Kunoichi Thirteen!" a voice chirped from above me.

"Oh, it's you, Zetsu," I said, anxiety coiling around my chest.

"Leader-sama wants updates on the Nine tails Jinchuriki," Zetsu said, as his tree branch wrapped around my leg tightened.

"What about her?"

"Cmon Princess, you know better than to play dumb with me."

"I have nothing to report about Kushina Uzumaki," I said, my voice unwavering as I refused to give up information about Kushina sensei.

Zetsu's grip on my leg loosens as he steps towards me, kunai in hand. His eyes glint with and a sinister smirk painted across his face.

"Dear Y/N, you're making me angry," Zetsu chuckles. Without skipping a beat, he drives a kunai through my arm, dragging the sharp blade down my arm. The metal rips through my deltoid muscle, relentlessly tearing away at my flesh as he twists the kunai over and over again.

I bite down hard on my tongue, trying to stifle the scream that threatens to leave my throat. If I scream now, the shinobi guarding the village gates will hear and will undoubtedly find out about Sumire and then my identity.

Besides, I can't give Zetsu the satisfaction of hearing my pain.

"Don't cross me again. The next time we meet I expect a full report on Kushina Uzumaki," Zetsu spat, as he pulled the kunai out of my arm. "Bye bye Y/N!" he cheered before seeping back into the earth.

My knees give in to the pain, causing me to collapse to the floor. I clutch my bleeding arm, teeth clenched tightly to suppress any sound. My mind races with fear and dread—how long will it be before Zetsu finds me again and demands answers about Kushina Sensei? What if he goes after Sumire?

My grip on my arm tightens as I try to stop the bleeding. Blood Manipulation: Blood bind. The blood which poured out slowly came to a halt as a thick mesh formed over the wound. The intense pain started to subside, replaced by a thick clot over the surface of my skin. The barrier of blood continued to pulse faintly, a constant reminder that this was my life now.

The thought of betraying Kushina sensei to the masked man at the cost of Sumire's life. Both their lives hung in the balance, suspended by a thread of my own making. The pressure of the situation, the looming threat of Zetsu and the masked man and the constant fear for both of their safety created a churning storm within me.

But for now, all I can do is play the role of the orphaned Y/N Uzumaki who has been taken in by the Leaf Village. I pick myself up from the ground, and after having scouted my surroundings, I make my way to the village towards Rin's house.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Making my way through the village at this hour has become clockwork. I slip through quiet side streets that are hardly occupied by civilians, much less by shinobi. The narrow alleys and corners provide me with respite from the ever-present watchful eye of any shinobi tailing me. Each step is methodical, each turn a familiar path in my nightly routine. The dim streetlamps cast long shadows, and the occasional rustle of the night breeze is the only sound that accompanies my careful movements.

I stand in front of Rin's door, contemplating knocking on her door as uncertainty shakes through me. Rin somehow convinced me that a sleepover is just what I need to assimilate into Konoha better and to make new friends. But my run-in with Zetsu shook me to my core, reminding me of why I am even here in the first place.

My very existence in Konoha is temporary, with Kushina sensei's life hung in the balance as well as the hope of a future with Sumire.

There's no point in turning back now, Rin is a shinobi I'm sure she has picked up on my chakra outside her door.

I lift my hand and knock gently, each tap quiet but deliberate. Moments later, I hear a hurried shuffle of footsteps approaching from within. The door creaks open, and Rin's face emerges, her eyes widening as they meet mine.

"You made it!" she cheered as she held my hands, ushering me inside her home, "For a second, I thought you wouldn't come."

She takes me into her quaint living room, decorated with soft, warm fairy lights which twinkled on the walls. Knitted quilts and blankets were scattered across the floor in front of the TV, as a movie mindlessly played. Rin gestured me to sit down as she handed me a warm cup of green tea.

"Y/N, I want you to meet my friend Kurenai," Rin said, introducing me to her friend with long dark hair that falls straight down her back and deep crimson eyes.

"It's nice to meet you Y/N! Rin's said so much about you," she chirped as Kurenai took a seat next to me.

"Thank you for letting me join your sleepover," I chuckled. "I've never really done this before. I'm not too sure what I'm meant to do. Was I supposed to bring something?" I said nervously before darting my gaze between the two girls.

"You've never been to a sleepover?!" Rin shouted in shock, "The pressure is high Kurenai, we need to make her first a good one!"

"You're gonna love it Y/N!," Kurenai chuckled, "Except, we're missing just one other person."

"I wonder if she'll ever show, you never know with Anko," Rin sighed as the two girls settled next to me on the couch as we sat and watched the movie that played on the TV.

"Were you guys in the same class back in the Academy?" I asked inquisitively.

"Yeah, all of us in our class are pretty close," Rin answered, "There's a whole bunch of us. Even though we're on separate teams we still meet up from time to time."

"What about you? Are you close with anyone from the Academy?" Kurenai asked as her soft crimson eyes glanced towards me.

"I wasn't in the Academy for long, but I get on well with my teammates," I replied, tucking my hair behind my ear reminiscing the times I've spent with my teammates so far. Kushina... Shisui... and Akira hold a dear place in my heart. It's something I never planned to happen in all my time here.

"Kurenai, did you know Y/N is on the same team as Shisui?" Rin exclaimed

"Really?! Tell me, what's it like being on the same team as Shisui of the body flicker?"

"I mean he's a really formidable shinobi, I even knew of him when I was in Kirigakure and he cares a lot for our team, always looking out for us and sensei."

"Yeah, we knew he's strong, but what I mean is that don't you find his friendly nature charming? That and the fact that he's a skilled shinobi." Kurenai continued, her tone light and teasing.

"W-what do you mean?" I stuttered as a blush painted my cheeks.

Kurenai's teasing smile widened as she noticed my reaction. "Oh, nothing much! But I think that reaction says a lot, Y/N"

"You should have seen Y/N and Shisui at the picnic a few days ago," Rin chuckled, adding fuel to the fire. "They were stealing glances, whispering to each other, and giggling nonstop!"

"W-what?!" I stammer. "No, we aren't like that! I mean he's a huge dork and he can be funny at times... But there's no way we are like that, right?!"

I remembered how he always had a way of making me feel seen and heard, even when I tried to hide what was really bothering me. The way he'd look at me with those warm, understanding eyes, like he could see right through the facade I put up. And the way he smiled—Kami, that smile—so genuine, so infectious. It made the weight of the world seem a little lighter, even if just for a moment.

My cheeks grew warmer as I recalled the way he'd ruffle my hair or flick my forehead when I was lost in thought, his touch lingering longer than it needed to. How sometimes, when he thought no one was looking, his gaze would linger on me, soft and thoughtful, like he was trying to figure out what was going on in my head.

Wait, was I... was I really thinking about him like this?

Rin's laughter pulled me out of my thoughts, and I blinked, realizing I had been silent for too long. "See? She's already off in delulu land thinking about him," she teased, nudging me with her elbow.

"N-no, I was just... I mean, we're just teammates!" I tried to protest, but even I could hear how weak it sounded.

Kurenai leaned in, her smile gentle now. "It's okay, Y/N. You don't have to pretend with us. It's obvious you care about him, maybe more than just as a teammate."

I bit my lip, looking down at my hands. Could they be right? I'd always admired Shisui as a shinobi, as a friend, but was it more than that? Did I... like him?

A small, tentative smile tugged at my lips. Maybe, just maybe, there was something there. Something that went beyond the battlefield, beyond our roles as shinobi. And as terrifying as that thought was, it was also strangely comforting. Because if there was anyone who could make me feel this way, who could make me believe in something more, it would be him.

"We're only playing with you Y/N," Kurenai reassured, "Well, it's good to see you settling in we..."

"Bitches, today we become women!" a voice screams, interrupting Kurenai. The sound of the front door being kicked open echoed through Rin's house as a kunoichi dressed in a mesh scanty top and shorts walked in.

"Anko, you know you could have just rung the bell, and I would have opened the door for you," Rin sighed as she welcomed Anko in.

"You know I like to make a flashy entrance Rin," Anko said as she made her way to the couch. She marked her territory on the couch, manspreading between me and Kurenai.

Anko's enthusiastic approach caught me off guard. "You must be the gorgeous, new Uzumaki girl," she exclaimed, her hands gripping mine firmly. In one swift motion, she pulled me closer and tilted my chin up so I had no choice but to meet her gaze. "Are you single by chance? And into women?"

If I wasn't as red as my hair before, I certainly was now. I quickly pulled my hands away from her grip, hiding my face between my palms, my brain short-circuiting from her unexpected comment.

"Anko don't assault her! Besides she's younger than us!" Kurenai sighed as she stood between me and Anko.

"Sorry no I'm not into women," I whispered, as words returned to my mind, "And yes I am single." [Author note: justice for the gays!]

"Better luck next time Anko," Rin laughed, as Anko's mood deflated as she slouched back onto the couch. "Anyways what's up with the 'Bitches we become women' comment?"

"Oh! Here," Anko said, jumping up from the couch as she pulled out a DVD from her pocket, "This movie will teach us everything we need to know about being women. About using our bodies to get what we want!"

"You're gonna make us watch porn?!" Kurenai asked horrified as she watched Anko dance around the living room.

"No... technically no," Anko argued as she watched Kurenai and Rin roll their eyes, "Hear me out! Imagine this... we are sent out on an espionage mission and our only weapon on our hands are our best ass'n'tits."

"Our what?" I questioned.

"Our assets," Anko coughed out. "Cmon, it'll be fun and maybe you two could take some notes. Maybe you'll be left inspired... Rin might even grow some balls to ask out Kakashi! And you Kurenai, maybe you'll stop running away from Asuma each time he comes to talk to you," Anko argued, calling out each of her friends before her gaze settled on me.

"And you, Y/N I'm sure that this movie will teach you just how to seduce... guys help me out here, who is she into?" Anko muttered as she looked at Kurenai and Rin.

"Shisui." The pair of them replied without sparing a second.

"What, oh Kami help me," I whispered as I realised I was playing a losing game.

"That's it. Our very own Y/N will be the one to seduce Shisui Uchiha!" Anko exclaimed as a light bulb went off in her mind, "And I can sit back and watch as you make me proud!"

"So should we just kick Anko out right now?" Kurenai asked deadpanned as all three of us held up our hands in agreement.

"You guys! You're so mean! What if this is a dream of mine?"

"You should dream bigger, Anko," I giggled, as we watched Anko collapse on the couch giving us all the silent treatment.

"It's okay she'll get over it soon," Kurenai reassured me as she took a seat next to me.

"Okay let's just watch a movie. I'll go put some rice in the cooker for us to eat," Rin said as she walked off into the kitchen.

"My movie?" Anko muttered, giving me and Kurenai a pair of shit-eating puppy dog eyes.

"No!" we said simultaneously, as Anko stuffed her head between pillows, refusing to make eye contact.

All four of us settled on the couch as we watched the movie. It wasn't long before soft snores filled the air as we watched Anko drool away on her pillow. Kurenai and Rin gently draped a blanket over her sleeping figure as I adjusted her pillows.

"I'm so happy you came today," Rin whispered to me, "I know that Konoha could never replace your family and your real home."

"We want you to one day call us your family," Kurenai added as they snuggled up to me.

My heart clenched. How could they, these people I barely knew, offer me something so precious when I am only here to betray their very trust.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Y/N has been providing for Sumire for years now, after their deadbeat father drank away his money. Not very slay of him. The masked man still has his monopoly over Y/N as the clock continues to tick, Y/N's time is slowly running out

But you guys this chapter was so fun to write! That little spark in Y/Ns head which burns for Shisui has spread like wildfire, no thanks to Kurenai, Rin and Anko. 

I love writing these 4 characters together (there is another chapter later where you will find yourself in the company of these three girls PS it might be my favourite chapter so far hehe) 

Also, I'm going away in a few days so I probably won't update until November-ish. I will be sat at the beach sipping away at cocktails, living life stress free until I come back (and realise I'm drowning in deadlines again). 

Loving you always, 

Suri

[askagamedev]

In a previous post you mentioned that "the cost of development for AAA fidelity games is mostly too high now to be profitable on their own". And we have heard that it's more expensive now to make games than ever before. But we also hear that profits from games are higher than ever before as well. How do those two statements go together? If profits from making games have gone up (with a bigger market, what I presume is DLC bringing in extra money) why are game prices still rising from 60 to 70 USD, for example?

We're not seeing profits from games being higher than ever before. We're seeing record profits from successful games and we're seeing a bunch of unsuccessful games pull the profits down because those unsuccessful games cost just as much as the successful games to build. Many are still talking about the failure of Concord, but don't forget there was also Lord of the Rings: Gollum, Forspoken, Marvel's Midnight Suns, Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League, Skull and Bones, Redfall, The Day Before, Saints Row 2022, Babylon's Fall, and so on that failed to recoup their investment costs.

Games that succeed are earning more money, but most games don't succeed and the money spent to develop those failures is gone and isn't coming back. This is the main reason why we've had a record-setting number of layoffs in the game industry in 2023, only to be topped by a new record-setting number of layoffs in 2024, with a whole three months left to go. When profits are expected to rise, shareholders want companies to hire and increase production. When profits are expected to shrink, shareholders want companies to cut costs and improve their financials. It's the jobs of devs like me that are the costs that are being cut.

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[blissxjj]

can u do how the om brothers would react to a mc that is like. (for lack of better words) EXTREMELY dumb ..... like karen smith level slow💀 very oblivious too.

I am so sorry for not responding early but here i am to make your request :3

(Hope it's not too late :D)

Lucifer:

• This man is fed up with your slow mind and oblivious nature.

•It's ok to be slow...

•But NOT that slow.

•He always tries to not get mad at you or yell when you don't get him because it's not something you are doing on purpose.

•He is a prideful and respectful demon on top of that very professional so it's already hard for him to flirt with you.

•He once made it so obvious that he wanted to be more than just friends but you really are slow to catch on and he ends feeling down.

•You really are gonna force him to do a full on confession.

Mammon:

•At first he thought you were playing dumb or you are making fun of him.

•But no he is very sure now that you are just slow.

•He tried to keep his feelings on the low because he was not ready to face you

•But really he could shout them and you would be oblivious to them.

•Mammon does not hate your nature in anyway but sometimes it's...too much.

•he once asked you to hold on to his cash while he dealt with someone

•1 second after he left, you managed to lose it all to dumb things like wind, falling down drains.

•But despite it all gosh! he loves you so much.

Levi:

•He thought you were dumb.

•now he knows you are dumb.

•you spent all his hard earned money on the wrong Ruri-Chan figures and he wouldn’t trust you with it again.

•He wanted to play duo games with you and surprisingly you weren't that bad.

•Still bad though.

•he hates it when you feel out of place, he was in your shoes before and he wouldn’t want you to go through that.

•despite all the chaos you bring plus being oblivious to it.

•He can relate to you in many things.

Satan:

•I really have nothing to say about him but....

He has anger issues don't test him.

•he really wants to be patient but there is no saving you.

•sometimes he reads books for you and you ask stupid and unpredictable questions.

•sometimes you miss the whole point of the story.

•he will be there boiling red with anger and you still are oblivious to it all.

•he would never blow up in front of you.

•you sometimes ask stupid questions but sometimes you ask deep questions that make Satan think for hours and hours to come up with an answer.

Asmodeus:

(I really don't know what to write for him so so so sorry :()

Beelzebub:

•he is happy to meet another slow person like him.

•he enjoys spending time with you because it makes him relax.

•not having to worry constantly about his looks because you would not care to notice anything.

•he thought you were playing hard to get at first but it all changed once he understood you.

•your dumb questions are entertaining for him.

•he thinks you look cute with that confused look.

Belphie:

•He couldn’t care less.

•HE LET'S YOU BE.

•All he wants is peace and quite so please leave him alone.

•the more you don't talk to him the more questions you have for him for when he wakes up.

•he loves how excited you are to see him awake and he loves it too.

•untill you say "so i was wondering...?"

•he glares at you then back to sleep he goes.

Masterlist

[phoenixcatch7]

Unrelated to the last post but MAN I wish I could make a list of characters view the canon fics that do it so well across fandoms but I really don't want to risk opening them up to deletion. It's only recently that these sorts of stories have been allowed to stay up, as only a few years ago they were considered 'too close to canon' and could - would - get forcibly taken down from just about every site.

I've lost too many amazing cvtc fics to staff deciding they were bending the rules too much to just post a list of links but... I wish they were more popular because there's some absolute gems.

Here, I'll talk about a few things they did:

Killed the protagonist and everyone had to rewatch his memories to bring him back. This was very controversial in universe and it made it work so well.

The protagonist was oblivious to the reading, not part of it. This meant everyone could theorise and debate between themselves and actually REALLY solved the pacing and dramatisation issues common to these fics.

The protagonist actually replaced a villain in canon; the reading was done pre canon and the villain believed he had gone insane was the one acting like that. It was mortifying but seeing his body make friends and get a happy ending when he believed he was beyond hope and vicious about it was heart wrenching.

The young protagonist accidentally wished to be understood and a villain took advantage of it. It switched between the reading and reactions and the protag desperately trying to defeat the villain and make plans to run away to prevent his revealed secret getting him killed by the government.

The very large cast was split into groups, but could contact each other via texting. This enabled each group to have wildly varying reactions and theories without having to constantly argue and fight. It made it more fast paced, and added tension as the villains plotted unsupervised.

A very small cast were on a road trip and found the protags audio diaries of his adventures in the glove compartment. This was a Percy Jackson one, and it built off the books' first person format brilliantly.

The protags purposely wrote down their adventures in books and sold them on the market to fix their reputation and earn some money doing so. It involved people frantically trying to verify the books and evolved into a pr nightmare.

The orphan protag somehow time travelled back to when his family was in hiding with his books. His parents and uncles read the books and got to know their currently infant kid in the process. (This was a Harry Potter one, and both the series and author got permanently banned from ffn years ago and it had gotten all the way to deathly hallows 😭. It had been in progress for over a decade and was immaculately written, I miss it so much. Author if you're out there ily.)

Midway through canon a group of the protags friends combined all of their memories in a crystal ball and shipped it to a conference where just about every important figure was in attendance. They did not tell each other of the memories they included. They did not tell the exiled protag what they'd done. Many unexpected revelations and betrayals happened during the viewing. It also made it so the only scenes that appeared were ones where other people were there, which was so creative and well done.

The protag was a powerful psychic brought in for questioning and made it everyone else's problem. It was hilarious.

For a video game canon a handful of trusted allies (and villains before they went insane) were secretly delivered the games by THE TIME TRAVELLING GHOST OF THE PROTAGONIST IN DISGUISE and played them. The main focus was the main villain finding out a) how to even play video games (there was an ongoing joke about ridiculous video game logic) and b) the reasons he went insane, in excruciating detail, c) his victim's perspective including his own history that future him died not knowing about. One of his friends got a spinoff video game about how all his other friends died tragically. Many people saw their own traumatic deaths on screen with about twenty pixels.

A group of next gen kids accidentally fell into their parent's memories (of a war they'd been lied to about).

The protag was the 'child' of an omnipotent being who got sick of them being a self fulfilling prophecy (which ended horribly in canon) and locked them all in a fourth dimensional cave. In the same fic, the protag was using illusions to maintain the appearance of on-screen canon while fleshing out canon scenes and implications. Really well written and the character relationships were 👌.

The characters parents got the books, and had to reverse engineer the events that led up to canon and also which character was whose unborn kid.

A villain made a wish to publicly expose the main group's 'lies', accidentally exposed them as telling the truth and themselves as the corrupt liars. Whoops!

Traumatised side character time travelled back to pre canon from an apocalypse (that wasn't in canon), demanding the canon be viewed to understand and prevent the events that led to the apocalypse.

Characters broke after the events of canon publish their stories as fantasy books to the unknowing civilian public. The fantasy people accidentally get hold of it and everything goes to pot. I swear this is a totally different fandom to the other one.

Dead villain ghost secretly witnesses a viewing, time travels back to adopt the protagonist and change history to his image.

Crossover where one character was revealed to be a character from the other fandom in hiding with a fake identity.

Protag lost his memories and everyone uses a magical device/ritual to restore it, becoming witnesses themselves in the process.

Characters were forced to watch amvs of each other and had to try and extrapolate the order of events and the symbolism of the song. No one walked away with the full picture, but they got the main problems sorted.

Someone made an uncannily accurate play and the characters had to track the creator down to sue them (and figure out how they'd done it) without revealing that the portrayal was accurate.

A travelling seer took severe umbrage to the body stealing protag and exposed him with receipts. He spent basically the entire fic curled in a ball of mortification.

The protag on trial for many crimes got the magic viewing device used on him in front of everyone in the courtroom.

One fic was pretty normal but every time someone on screen got hurt or sick, so did their 'irl' counterpart. It sped up the fic a lot as no one wanted to linger on the worst bits. Also the author used canon implications, that the protag was oblivious to, to low key scare everyone who noticed them.

Crossover where the adults of one fandom fought over adoption rights of the other fandom's teen protag.

The author only used cherry picked moments of canon to massively streamline the fic, which worked! All the high moments you want a fic to cover - epic fights, dramatic reveals, important conversations, silly moments, developing relationships. And absolutely NOTHING else, there was very little context. Made for some excellent moments of people frantically trying to explain themselves lol.

Character stared too long into the void, broke the fourth wall to watch their own media. They spent most of the fic about to cry.

Protags patron deities hosted a viewing to try and get him a gf/bf from their other avatars. He wasn't looking for romance but did eventually end up in a poly relationship.

Prophet reluctantly revealed his own version of events with the help of his sentient house. This was about a movie so it was pretty fitting thematically lmao.

There is so much potential!! There's so many ways to do it, branch out, give these sorts of fics a try! Don't get stuck in the rut of the same methods as everyone else, even in this genre there's all sorts you can do with it! Use some of these examples if you want! Get creative and don't forget you're writing a story!!

Of course, if you recognise or are reminded of these please don't link or name them*, but you're more than welcome to guess which fandom each belongs to XD!

*Except that Harry Potter one, please I need closure, it's been a decade-

[warsofasoiaf]

On ceasefire negotiations related to how Israel-Hamas is operating. Israel demanded to know how many hostages remain and who is alive, and apparently Hamas is refusing to provide the names and count. Is this a normal thing to argue over and is it normal for a country to sacrifice military campaigns for a comparatively small number of civilians? For example would the United States act similarly if it were in Israel's situation? Would another Western country?

This is actually something I can talk a great deal about, because it deals with negotiations, game theory, and applying economic concepts to non-economic subjects. This will be pretty clinically heartless, so I'm going to throw a cut down.

A hostage negotiation is, at its core, taking prisoners to extract some form of compensation for their safe return. The hostage taker wants something, and trades in human lives to get it. This can be money (ransom), an exchange of prisoners (a prisoner swap), or to exert pressure to enact political change (terrorism). The negotiation is largely an argument over price - how much is it worth to return the hostages safely. We'll get back to this in a bit.

It is typically standard practice to declare the name, number, and status of hostages for a few reasons. One is verification, to prove that the organization has the hostages in question. The second is to establish good faith that the negotiations can be conducted, that the hostages won't be immediately executed. If there is no good faith, the other side does not negotiate and instead attempts rescue (or in Russia's case, just mows them down indiscriminately). That's the same reason why hostage takers can release hostages as a show of good faith that further negotiations are fruitful.

At the end of the day, a hostage negotiation is an argument over the price of the hostages' lives. In any negotiation, information asymmetry is the name of the day, and the more advantages you have in that category, the better price you can command. Hamas is incentivized not to declare the name and status of the hostages for both benign (relatively) and malign reasons. By refusing to name the number and status of the hostages, it forces uncertainty into the Israeli negotiations. If Israel doesn't know how many hostages it's "buying" then it's liable to offer more than Hamas is willing to settle for, which makes Hamas come out ahead in the exchange. If Israel offers too low an amount, Hamas can simply demand more - there are no downsides unless Israel refuses to negotiate.

Of course, the malign reason is that the hostages are not in the best shape - they're either the victims of torture or are already dead. In this case, Hamas is disguising the status to up the price of the negotiations. Typically, negotiators don't pay for dead hostages, so in the event you have dead hostages, it's advantageous to disguise that status to extract something for them (typically money because once you have it in your hand, it's tough to go backsies). It's not good business in the long run, because no one does business with you again, but Hamas likely doesn't believe it's going to be in a position to negotiate again so that threat is less prescient. Similarly, Hamas likely believes it's insulated from the inevitable blowback that it would bring. Support for Hamas, either from their Iranian backers or Western groups, doesn't typically go down even in response to perfidy, torture, or other crimes. So in that sense, being a habitual bad-faith actor doesn't hold the same animus - they're still going to enjoy support from their backers regardless of what they do, which are prime conditions for reinforcing bad behavior. It's similar in Israel, where the Netanyahu government largely doesn't care about foreign political pressure - their reaction typically to international condemnation is to close ranks and accuse their critics of wanting them dead, or at least not caring whether they live or die.

Typically, governments don't like to negotiate ransoms for hostage taking for the all-too-logical reason, it incentivizes other hostage taking attempts. Private citizens often pay ransoms because for them, it is a singular iteration of game theory - there typically isn't a second instance of hostage taking unless the individual is quite unlucky. Governments however, frequently interact with terror groups and are thus less likely to negotiate directly save in the event that the hostage in question is extremely important.

In that sense, hostage taking is usually an attempt to force private citizens to enact domestic pressure on a government, not to pressure the government directly. In the sense of the United States or any other Western countries, this is more effective than in autocracies such as Russia or China, which both are relatively resistant to domestic criticism and are more willing to accept civilian casualties. So to answer your question of what would the United States or another Western nation do, the answer is "it depends on the willingness of the public to place domestic pressure on the government to free the hostages versus their desire to punish the perpetrators."

Thanks for the question, Cle-Guy.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[axailslink]

What's so special about dating girls?

Summary: You have never dated a girl ever well and Riri has been trying to get your number for the longest you're unsure because you don't want her to think you're "bi-curious" and trying to use her as some straight girl experience.

Snippet from the fic: "Riri's smile spreads on her face immediately "so do you like me like me or are you just feeling me?"

You can't help but watch Riri as she's looking at the coffee options at the cafe where you happen to work at. You've noticed she goes here damn near every day too you don't know what's so special about it you wouldn't drink this coffee if someone offered you money to do so. Riri looks at the list behind you and then at you "hey Y/n" you smile sweetly of course like you always do but with her, it's not that whole fake customer service smile. With her, it's genuine your eyes get those little creases in the corner and your smile shows all of your teeth. To Riri, it's contagious causing her to smile too "when are you going to let me take you on a date? You're always smiling so prettily at me it's like you're teasing me with this beauty of yours." Riri has been feeling you for a while now and she's not one to hide her emotions if she wants something or someone she does everything in her power to get that thing or person. Now that you think about it could you possibly be the reason she's always at this cafe? "C'mon now Riri what's your order?" She smiles "you know what I want I get the same thing everyday mamas" you nod "yeah you right" you know Riri's order by heart it's not hard to remember because she's one of the only people that comes into this cafe and asks for herbal tea. It's not even much of an order. She watches as you grab a glass you usually throw in a free croissant or something but today you're feeling a little more energy you grab a muffin carefully and hand it to her she smiles when your hand carefully places it on her own. "Oh I feel special I get a muffin today? You might as well say you want to kiss me while you're at it it's that easy."

Whenever you give her something "free" you pay for it because you know she's busy and her studies take up most of her time. "Kiss you?" Aight ma'am you holding my line up next" Riri looks behind her "girl ain't nobody back there I came early for this exact reason for some me and you time" you laugh as you walk from behind the bar and carefully to her table which is the one closest to the window. You've noticed a lot of things about Riri though she comes in every day and orders the same thing when she's not looking at you she's drinking her tea and reading a book. She enjoys when it rains more than when the sun is shining and she's always tired her eyes say it however when she's talking to you her whole face lights up like some expensive light bulb when you first buy it.

"Me and you time?" She nods as she gently grabs your hand and pulls you to her "Riri girl get this damn tea before I drop it" she grabs the tea with her other hand and sips it before placing it down. "Yeah, some me and you time you've got to let me know what it is... Why won't you let me take you out? Because it's not you ain't feeling me because I can tell you feeling me" you nod slowly you knew this question was coming especially after the many times she's asked if you wanted to catch a game with her, go to the fair, or the movies... You just knew this was coming.

"I've never dated a girl Riri what if I'm just curious and not serious?" Riri hums slowly pulling her hand away to grab her tea. "See your whole demeanor just changed" you shake your head and walk off but she grabs your hand again bringing your body to a halt "no it didn't I'm still interested it's just I'm tired of the whole 'i don't really do girls but you're cute thing' I want someone who sees past that." "I do see past that Riri that's the thing I just don't want to lead you on because I'm curious. You know what I'm saying? I like you Riri a lot but I don't know if I like girls like tell me what's so special about dating girls?" Riri hums "I mean I've never just thought about it like that for me it I just like you no matter gender there was never the whole she's such a pretty GIRL wow I like her because she's a chick and I'm not attracted to dudes. If you're only thinking about me being a girl and everything being different because of that that's being curious but if you're genuinely interested in me for me that's attracted. So which one are you Y/n are you curious or are you attracted?"

This conversation has gotten too serious for your liking. With Riri conversation comes easily you don't even think about your words so to be having such a meaningful conversation right now that actually causes you to think it's a lot it's unexpected. Riri lets you think as she sips her tea seeming to calm herself down a bit when you turn around you give your answer "I'm attracted to you" the words come out as soft as a whisper but it catches her attention causing her to stand. "What?" When you go back to repeat your answer a customer comes in calling your attention first. Riri just stands there staring as you take the person's order she so badly needs to hear the answer you mumbled only minutes ago but this customer is being so hesitant about her order. Riri is slowly getting annoyed as the woman constantly changes her order after a while you start suggesting your own order to the woman. When she is finally happy and you attend to her needs you return your attention to Riri. She checks her watch and looks at you impatiently.

"Are you curious or do you like me?" You're confident this time you don't look down or turn to avoid her gaze you stare straight at her "I like you." Riri's smile spreads on her face immediately "so do you like me like me or are you just feeling me?" She approaches you and you roll your eyes. "Aight see now you done got cocky" she laughs "I mean a little bit I can't help but feel a little cocky I mean my words must really speak to you or is it my face?" You smile as you come from behind the counter again this time approaching her "Nah it's your intelligence you're mad smart you don't be doing what these other idiots do you going to school you using that brain of yours it's beautiful but there's also your pretty ass smile and I guess the way you look at me" she smiles and watches as you talk about her "oh really? How do I look at you?" You return the look she's currently giving you. So you're looking her up and down right now but it's not an "I'm checking you out" look it's a "damn I want her to myself" look. She nods "okay so maybe I'm not too subtle with my heart eyes." You nod "since we're pointing out what we're not too subtle on let's talk about them damn croissants you be gifting me" you laugh as she walks back to her little table in the corner "let's keep the croissants out of this they did nothing." Riri laughs to herself "hm mama did say the quickest way to ones heart is through the stomach I should have known you was trying to get me." You can't help but laugh as the next customer comes in.

Finally you let Riri take you out to that bulls game that she kept asking you on.

[yaggy031910]

A fun little ask: the Marshalate is informed there is cake in the break room. How do each of them react?

Who ever you are, thank you for this sweet little question and I apologise for my late response. 🙈💕

I have ideas for some of them, however I am **not** aware of the maréchals eating habits so any input is welcome here. Also, I don't know all of the marshals well enough but I will try to include as many as possible. Don’t expect any historical accuracy in this.

See this post as a very big headcanon and as one ongoing story where I am going to try to mimic the marshals characters and miserably fail.

Shall we begin? :D

Les Maréchals and cake

Berthier would hear about it and quietly get excited by the idea of having a nice little piece of cake, just for him to be too busy with everything so that he isn't able to leave his desk. Either this or someone (probably one of his adcs) would be nice enough to get for Berthier his piece of cake.

Murat: You bet he is one of the first ones to look at this cake. His reaction might depend on how the cake looks. If it's a huge cake with a lot of golden details, Murat will carry it around so everyone admires this phenomenal cake because it deserves to be looked at.

Augerau and Masséna wonder why there is such a fancy a cake in the break room in the first place and who might have put it there. Augerau asks Masséna with a low voice: “How much money do you want to bet on the cake being poisoned?” Before Masséna is able to answer, Lannes enters the scene.

Lannes runs after Murat with the cake knife demanding to finally get his damn piece of this cake while Murat can't make himself to cut it because this cake is “so damn beautiful that it would be a waste to eat it.” This little game goes on for a minute or two until the other marshals grow impatient, one of them being Ney.

Ney who is known for his hotheadedness tries to save this cake from a disaster aaaaand fails. :) The three of them dispute over who is the actual culprit of this mess.

L: Murat, what have you done? M: I have done nothing. You followed me with a knife. N: You let the cake fall. M: You intervened in my business with Lannes.

The cake has fallen to the ground as Davout, Suchet and Macdonald watched. “Aaand here goes the cake”, Macdonald says; “At least the floor was able to taste it.” Suchet asks: “What do you think was its flavour?” ”Chocolate vanilla.” Davout answers. After a moment of silence, he adds. “Soult has a good recipe.” Mortier walks in, seeing how Lannes, Murat and Ney are loudly disputing while Masséna and Augerau get themselves black coffee and Davout, Suchet and Macdonald talking. Lefebvre who was walking right behind Mortier gestures him to move away from the door so he can get into the break room: “What is going on?”

Suchet: “We found a cake-“ Davout interrupts him: “We found a chocolate vanilla cake which we don’t know how it got here or if it was poisoned and now it’s inedible because his royal highness, the King of Naples, made it fall.”

Murat shouts from the back: “I didn’t let it fall.” Lannes: “Oh, you did.”

Lefebvre offers a solution like the good fatherly figure he is: “Do you still want cake? We could bake a new cake, messieurs.” Davout replies: “This sounds like a smart idea, Monsieur. Maréchal Soult knows an excellent recipe.”

Lefebvre: “Ahh, excellent. Where is our maréchal?”

Mortier: “He is in his office.”

“Then this where our journey goes next.” Lefebvre slams the door open and accidentally hits Oudinot. “Ah, Monsieur, my apologies. If I had known you were there, I wouldn’t have slammed the door as hard as I did. Are you alright? Yes? Until the next time then.”

Davout walks up to his friend to make sure how Oudinot is doing and explains to him in the meanwhile what is going on and also promises Oudinot to bring him a piece of the cake they are going to bake.

Lefebvre takes the lead and walks straight to Soult’s office while Davout and Mortier follow him. Suchet decides to stay behind while Macdonald thinks about it. Lefebvre knocks on Soult’s office door: “Monsieur, le maréchal? Are you here?” *Lefebvre knocks again with his energetic manner.* “Monsieur, le maréchal, it’s me, Lefebvre. Open the door!*

Soult opens the door with his usual unimpressed demeaner: Hm? Lefebvre: “Excusez-moi, mon maréchal, I heard you have a recipe for a delicious cake?” Soult: Cake? What cake? Davout: The chocolate vanilla one… the one you baked for your daughter Hortense’s birthday. The delicious one. Soult: Ah, yeah. That one. What of it? Mortier: We would like to bake this cake, which is why we want to ask if you mind us borrowing the recipe? Soult stares at his co-maréchals for a second, he shuts the door, opens it again with a piece of paper in his hand which he gives to Lefebvre. “Here. Is there anything else you need?” Macdonald who decided to join the baking group walks up to them and asks Soult: “Would you mind to lend us your baking equipment?” - “No. Have a nice day.” Soult shuts his door while Lefebvre shouts: “Thank you for your help, Monsieur Soult.” Macdonald asks: “What are we going to do now?” “We are going to bake the cake now, my good friend”, Davout answers. Mac: “Where? Where do you want us to bake the cake? Do we have the right ingredients?” D: In the kitchen and I don’t see why we shouldn’t have the ingredients. Macdonald looks at Davout with suspicious eyes about the matter if they are going to manage to bake this cake… The group of maréchals appear in the imperial kitchen where they start to gather the right ingredients. While the group is busy with the preparations, les maréchals Pérignon and Sérurier appear, wondering what is going on. As Lefebvre is explaining these two their baking journey up until now, Pérignon and Sérurier decide to join them: “A cake made by maréchals for maréchals.”

What could possibly go wrong with two additional heads in the kitchen? As it turns out: Everything. Pérignon and Sérurier manage to overdo the cake by confusing salt with sugar. The cake tastes salty, the icing itself is fine because it was made by Davout who religiously followed Soult’s directions. In addition to that, monsieur Lefebvre manages to mix up usual paper with baking sheets.

Bernadotte walks into the kitchen as he sees his fellow maréchals working on their baking project. He comments on the scenery: “This is just pure chaos without any discipline, a chaos which can’t possibly create something edible.” Davout replies “Well, have you ever baked anything in your miserable existence which you so call your life?”; to which Bernadotte says: “wELL, no, BUT-“ Davout continues: “Then get out of this room and give me my peace back or shut up.” Bernadotte decides to leave.

As Bernadotte is leaving, Jourdan walks right into the scene with an apple in his hand. A fire starts to break out in the oven and Jourdan, like the team player he is, turns and leaves this mess to his co-maréchals without saying one word.

Nothing is going as Davout had it planned. He sits in a corner, mourning this beautiful chocolate vanilla cake he had in mind. Macdonald sits right next to him with a spoon, telling him: “Well, at least the frosting you made yourself is delicious.” Davout, completely shattered by the fact that he wasn’t able to make his desired chocolate vanilla cake, puts his face into his palms until a surprise visits the kitchen: It’s maréchal Soult. With a cake. A chocolate vanilla cake. A chocolate vanilla cake which is neither burnt nor oversalted. A chocolate vanilla cake according to the recipe. Next to Soult is Oudinot who cuts two pieces of the cake: one for himself and one for his good old friend, Louis Nicolas Davout.

After Soult, Ney and Lannes enter the kitchen. Ney silently takes a piece of Soult’s cake, saying nothing except a simple “thank you”. So do Macdonald and Mortier. Soult tolerates Ney’s presence. Lannes on the other hand goes straight to the oversalted and burnt cake which the older maréchals made and are also eating. Kellermann and Grouchy, as late to the party as ever, also go for Lefebvre’s bad cake while Soult’s good cake is still sitting there. Soult can’t hide his look of disgust.

At some point, Bessières and Murat join or rejoin retrospectively the scene, walking up to Soult’s cake. Bessières, as well mannered as he is, takes one piece of a cake to which Murat comments: “I know how much you like this lovely type of cake, Bessières, take a second piece.” - “No”, Soult replies: “That’s not your cake. Take your piece and leave.” Murat adds: “For whom are the other pieces then? I don’t see anybody who would possibly want to eat this gorgeous baked good. We want to eat your delicious creation of a fabulous cake.” - “One piece each. You can give him your piece if you like to.” Bessières interrupts the two: “I am content with my piece.” Murat doesn’t listen to what Bessières says and continues his conversation with Soult: “My fellow maréchal, I don’t understand, why do you struggle so much with allowing somebody to have one additional piece of cake than the other ones?”

While Murat and Soult continue their dispute which leads to nowhere, one adc enters slowly the kitchen. He looks at Soult who recognises this man as one of Berthier’s adcs. He came to get a piece of cake for his marshal. Soult lets him take one of the few pieces left. All of a sudden, Kellermann seems to be chocking on his salty cake piece. All the maréchals are gathering around him and in the chaos, the last few pieces of Soult’s cake fall to the ground. Soult looks at his cake or what’s left of it. One could argue that everyone who wanted to eat it was able to eat it. One could argue that these fallen pieces can be ignored and Soult could go on with his day never ever thinking about the pieces again. However, we are talking about maréchal Soult here who sees the art in baking. The love, the accuracy of it. Today he didn’t just bring cake to his fellow maréchals. Today he witnessed how some of them have no sense of dignity for what it means to be able to eat good food. Good cake. Soult is leaving the room, not bothered about Kellermann as he wouldn’t be able to help anyway. He is going to his wife, his Louise Berg, who asks him about his day. He tells her the whole of it. How he was surprised by his fellow maréchals who wanted to bake a cake. How he knew that they are going to mess up his recipe. How he baked that cake properly and how a part of it went to waste. “Some of them ate oversalted and burnt cake. Who eats bad cake? Who likes bad cake???”

Davout on the other hand was thankful for Soult. With a smile on his face, Davout enjoyed his so desired chocolate vanilla cake, unbothered by the event surrounding him. The end. :)