#don't wanna get older
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
HELL YEAH IT'S MY BIRTHDAY
#happy bithday to me#don't wanna grow up#i never wanted to grow up but i have to😭#another year older#i'm crying#i hate getting older but i love my birthday#don't wanna get older#witch hat atelier#tongari boushi no atelier#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Done trying to be someone I’m not
Welcome back old habits I have missed u so much…
#bpd problems#bpd mood#actually mentally ill#tw self destruction#actually bpd#bpd feels#give up#i am done#don't wanna get older#done trying#fuck this#tw s3lf harm#can't take it anymore#tw sh related#tw selfhate#tw self destructive thoughts
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
Clone^2 - Separation Strikes
"Why do I have to go?" Damian asks, surly and accent-thick, it sounds more like a demand and a whine at the same time. Sitting on the kitchen table with his arms crossed, in a green t-shirt that Danny bought him at a whim when he was at a thrift shop, and black shorts, he's never looked more like a kid. There's a little backpack leaning against the table leg, Damian begrudgingly picked it out when they went shopping.
His English has grown in leaps and bounds since Danny found him -- er, or more accurately; since Damian was spat out in front of him. -- and very little did they have to use the translator on Danny's phone these days.
Which meant one thing: Damian can start attending school comfortably now. And 'go' was the Amity Smiles Child Care Center. Danny and Jazz went as kids until they were twelve, and Mom and Dad actually managed to convince the center director to let Damian enroll for the summer.
And it was summer; Damian starts today.
"Because," Danny says, trying and failing to hide the smile pulling on his face, his heart warm and soft, and also laughing at Damian's expense; "being cooped up in the house all day isn't good for you, and you're starting school in the Fall. And, in Jazz's words: you need to have interactions with other kids your age for the benefit of your social development. And besides, it's only for the morning."
Damian's nose scrunches up, and his eyes roll so violently that for a moment, Danny thinks about joking that he'll get his eyes stuck like that. He holds his tongue; his little brother already looks like he's five seconds away from committing an act of violence.
"I don't need social interaction." Damian sneers, his cheek in his hand; a neverend pool of pride. "I am--"
"The Blood of the Demon Heir, better than everyone else." Danny cuts off, waving his hand in dismissive circles, his voice mockingly deep. Damian's brown skin darkens in embarrassment, and he scowls at Danny. "I know, bud. But Jazz is right, -- don't tell her I said that, -- you should be around kids your age."
Especially when he starts First Grade in the Fall. Honestly -- Danny was a little nervous to send him to the center. Damian's long since cut the habit of trying to kill or otherwise maim people, his palms ache-burn with gentle reminder, but his tongue was as sharp and as cutting as his sword. He still struggles with trying to quell it when he's upset. Vicious child-weapon that he once was, and will never be again.
Danny knows that it comes from a place of fear and defense, that Damian lashes out because that's what he's been taught. That at the end of the day, he doesn't really mean what he says, and he's learning to express himself better. But the other kids don't know that, and kids can be unforgiving and cruel.
Danny just...
His slow beating heart sighs, melancholy settles behind his lungs.
He doesn't want Damian to be outcasted. He doesn't want him to be alone.
Not like he was.
Damian sneers again, but says nothing, his shoulders crawling up to hide his ears like a turtle receding into his shell. Danny watches him silently, leaning against the kitchen counter with his own arms crossed. The clock hanging on the wall ticks in their ears -- it's almost time to go.
He watches Damian, careful, and so he sees it when his little brother's stone-shell pride and petulance shudders, and cracks. The darkened furrow of Damian's brows weakens, and for a moment, slants back.
Ah, Danny thinks, his own shoulders slumping. Epiphany washes over him, and his sad-heart soothes in warm understanding. So that's what it is.
His head tilts, and his hair spills over his shoulders, messy and fluffy, tickling his neck. Some of his bangs fall into his face. "Hal 'ant easabiatan ya habibi?" He asks, voice low and soft. Just as Damian's English has improved, so has Danny's Arabic. He still stumbles over himself some days, and Damian says his accent is trash, but they can have whole conversations now in Damian's mothertongue.
(Danny was incredibly proud of himself for it.)
Damian's face darkens, his blush spreading across the rest of his face, and he ducks his head down. Grown-out curls, black-brown and springy, falls over his eyes. "La!" He yells, loud and indignant, and not at all convincingly. "La 'asheur bialtawaturi!"
He was nervous. Danny can see it now, in the hunch of his shoulders and the tightness of his face, and faintly, he can feel it too. In the ecto-rich air of the Fentonworks House, it thrums, barely-there, like a hummingbird behind his lungs.
Danny can't stop the little, fond smile that forces itself across his lips and upticks the corner of his mouth. "It's okay to be nervous, little brother." He says, he sounds like Jazz when he says that. He doesn't think she'll mind him borrowing the nickname.
He pushes himself off the counter, and Damian refuses to look at him, hiding behind his hair and in his shoulders. It takes three long strides for him to reach the table, and Danny turns, plants his hands on the ledge, and hoists himself up. Right next to Damian.
Damian leans into him easily when Danny's arm wraps around his shoulders and tucks him close to his heart. He can feel his ear against his ribs. Danny hunches over him, resting his chin on Damian's head. "It's so okay to be nervous, actually. I was nervous, Jazz was nervous." He tells him, scratching the blunt edge of his nails across his scalp. "Everyone gets nervous."
"'Ana last aljumiea." Damian mumbles, as small and feeble as he was the night on the OPS Center balcony, realizing that his mom and the League weren't coming for him. Realizing that he was replaceable.
Danny's half-working heart squeezes; in grief, in rage, and his faucet eyes sting. He breathes in carefully, and presses his nose into Damian's hair in a loving faux-kiss. "You're right, you're not everyone." He says, steady and strong, because if he's not a pillar for his family, who else is he?
He can feel Damian's eyes flick up to him, and Danny smiles into his black-brown curls. Tilts his head to squish his cheek against him instead, hand dropping to thumb below Damian's lashes. "You're Damian Fenton," Because the adoption went through a few weeks ago, and he's still riding that high, "You're my baby brother. O' Artist Extraordinaire, Kickass with a Sword, Vegetarian and Wonderful Co-Ghost Hunter."
Damian tries to stifle a smile, and fails. Score! Triumph gathers in Danny's gut, his smile grows wider. He squeezes Damian tight, and only releases him so he can look him in the eyes. "And if anyone gives you a hard time at school, and I mean anyone--"
Danny has bad memories of the teachers looking the other way when the other kids were bullying him, all because he was a Fenton.
And Danny, bleeding heart, bleeding hands, loves his family more than he will ever love himself, will never let Damian experience the same injustice. Not if he can help it.
His eyes narrow, and the buzzy-film of ectoplasm covers his eyes, making them glow, "--You tell me. And as your awesome great big brother-and-technically-dad-but-only-biologically, I will handle it."
Damian, wonderfully made, full of light, his little brother Damian, giggles weakly at him. A sound that's worth it's weight in gold. The scary eyes dissipate, and Danny matches the sound with a cock-eyed, impish grin, dragging Damian into a soul-crushing, too-tight hug. The kind that only annoying older brothers can give. "Got it?"
That gets a proper, if short, laugh out of Damian. He wriggles in Danny's arms, trying to break free. But Danny does calisthenics, his arms are as big as Damian's head, so it doesn't work. "Understood, now, daeni 'adhhab ya 'akhi!"
Danny laughs, loud and bright, and loosens his hold just a smidge, only so he can adjust his grip and hop off the table with Damian still in arm.
"Never!" He crows, hoisting Damian slightly. One eye flick at the clock, and in one quick move, he secures Damian under one arm like a football, and hooks his foot under the strap of his backpack. Kicking it up, he tosses it into the air and catches it with his free hand, and slings it over his shoulder. "Now, to the car, my boy! Before we're late and Mom and Dad get charged."
Damian groans, childish and dramatic and long, but his face is all squished up with a wide grin and glee. Danny can taste his joy beneath his tongue.
"And, if my little pep talk didn't encourage you," He says, reaching the door to the garage, flipping Damian up onto his hip instead. "If you have a good day today, I'll make you bal mithai when you get back."
Like all kids at the promise of sweets, Damian's eyes widen and glitter. Danny loves seeing Damian be a kid, it's his favorite thing in the world. "I will!"
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#dpxdc fic#dpxdc ficlet#clone^2#clone danny fenton#MAN I LOVE THIS AU SM#clone danny#danny fenton is a clone#i lomv. them :((( SO MUCH. I'VE MISSED WRITING THEM. i had this idea since talking to purple-goo-writes abt clone danny last week#they mean everything to me. they are the brothers ever. so family coded. don't ask me about the timeline here it doesnt exist#its post-danny's hands getting permanently fucked up and thats it lol.#parent danny is great but 'big brother danny' is SO fucking fun to write. he's silly and goofy and annoying in the way only siblings are#smth about writing danny being so full of love and kindness and protective compassion. bleeding heart that he is. its like doing cocaine#chaotic danny is SO fun and silly but kIND danny is. holy shit its better than getting high. altho ive never been high so i can only guess#there's just smth addictive in writing him being affectionate and loving and caring. he's heartful and heart full.#he's sweet - not like sugar - but like caramel. fulfilling and chewy. a kindness that gets stuck in your teeth and melts on your tongue#he's such an annoying older brother. i love him#bal mithai is a type of pakistani dessert btw. since Nanda Parbat is based off the mountain nanga parbat which is in pakistan. i figured#that the food damian had in the league might've been pakistani-based. or at least heavily pakistani in orign. maybe. i just didn't wanna#look up 'arabic desserts' and pick the first one off the list. felt inauthentic that way alsdh#translations since you wont get it through google translate:#1. 'are you nervous beloved?' 2. 'no! I am not nervous!' 3. 'I'm not everyone' 4. 'let me go brother!'#while i dont usually use 'little brother' or 'brother' as terms of endearments between siblings. Jazz canonically calls Danny that and#i figured if i worded it in a way that sounded natural. it would sound less soul-crushingly cringy. look as someone wit THREE siblings.#i know exactly how siblings interact with one another. but this felt like a special exception. they don't say it often
245 notes
·
View notes
Text
Prompt 84
Amity Park absolutely adores her little ghostling, her little Gatekeeper who was of her own ectoplasm, reborn from her own blood in the center of her new heart. She absolutely adores her baby, practically a newborn, being only a year dead!
So of course she had to gush and boast about her little phantom to the other city spirits! They all got together to gossip sometimes after all. And both Smallville and Fawcett started to gush about their own little ones back!
Gosh they should set up a playdate at some point, her little phantom could use some friends in the mortal realm. Well some more friends, three is obviously not enough. Oh, Gotham and Bludhaven have come over as well! It’s a playdate then!
Now if only each of their world’s timelines were synced up, but at least everyone is around the same age!
#dcxdp#dpxdc#City Children Au#Prompts#Each city is from a different timeline lol#Bruce is an angy 16 year old vigilante and was Not prepared to be the oldest#Dick hasn't told them his birthday#and isn't revealing he's older than this Bruce by a few months#Clark is just happy to make friends and he brought pie! his ma and him made it!#Dick is wheezing at these itty bitty versions of Bruce and Clark- this is great and hilarious and oh god he has to protect them#Billy is chanting to do it whenever someone has a Bad Idea- He's just become the Champion of Magic & the gods encourage it#Danny is delighted to have more friends and he's not the oldest Or the youngest so yay!#they're having fun#lots of fun in all their timelines and in the realms too#if they get in trouble they call their city-parents#“Alfred says I'm a polite young man. He also says that if someone tries to grab me to use my teeth”#“Sounds about right” “Mood” “Biting is always good” “But what about diseases??”#“Hey Danny you like alien stuff right- do you think you can help me and the others translate this it came from the ship i was on”#“Omg Billy you should teach us mortal magic and we can teach you are stuff”#Dick: I don't wanna be the responsible one so I'm going to encourage them all to be Worse :)#At some point the squad is going to end up in some other timeline and confuse the fuck out of the JL lol#dick grayson#danny fenton#billy batson#clark kent#bruce wayne
642 notes
·
View notes
Text
MORE OF SHARED CUSTODY WINTER! Ah… love watching this perfect little pretty boy go through his ugly cringefail phase, 💕. These doodles are kinda chronological... kinda... top 2 are in babyworld and bottom 3 are obviously in vampworld (also 4th one is a totally legit wow he was there the whooooole tiiiiime edited screenshot, hehe).
#adventure time#atimers#winter king#simon petrikov#fionna and cake#fionna campbell#cake the cat#shared custody au#winter stowaway au#fan art#digital art#flat color#2023#the bottom two doodles are older but they happen chronologically after these so... they get a pass#I am NOT normal about him I wanna grab him by the arm and swing him around like a feral toddler with a lil plush toy#i love him. I want to watch him suffer#I don't remember what bubblegum in this universe is called...#oh yeah baby finn is there too ig
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Me, fully prepared to be a little ass: If I were a horrible person and killed a bunch of people, would you report me to the police? lol
My older brother: Even if you were a monster, i'd protect you. I wouldn't be able to bring myself to hate or punish you. You turning out that way would be my fault because I should've been a better sibling. In the end, you'll always be my responsibility, and more importantly, my younger brother. I'll always love you.
Me, about to fucking bawl my eyes out: Hey what the fuck
so anyways after careful consideration and recollecting, that's how i came to the devastating realization that my older brother was a yue qingyuan kinnie.
#it was smth like that#sometimes i'm like ''wow are peoples older brothers usually so rodrick-y or asshole-y??'' and i look at my older brother#who gets sad when i don't want him to buy anything for me#also it was things like#'im to blame so don't worry about it ok?' 'it was my fault so dont worry. do you want to eat out?' etc#and i was like ''man this sounds like some yqy dialogue'' and boom#yes he's the eldest#he's like... way older than me lol#anyways i love my big bro sm#hes a very good brother#last week he treated me out to ice cream and ramen#we're about to finish arcane together!!#those rare times when i don't wanna hang out with him he has the energy of a sopping wet puppy that just got kicked#yue qingyuan#svsss
127 notes
·
View notes
Text
Something's deeply wrong with the fictional older siblings...
#it started out pretty normal didn't it?#as normal as giving up an arm to god to bind your brother's soul to a suit of armor can get anyway#edward elric#wei wuxian#illyasviel von einzbern#ragna the bloodedge#shigeo kageyama#ritsu kageyama#meanwhile the younger siblings are trying to defend their one time attempted fratricide<3#illya also committed fratricide. you can even say that she's the only one to succeed! good for her#but she died for shirou so it all evens out right???#lolol there's a fancier version of this in my head but i don't wanna waste more time than i already did for this#losing a limb or something more important than a limb is just what fictional older siblings do!
77 notes
·
View notes
Note
happy birthday! 💕🎉🌻
I really hope it’s a lovely one!!!
Oh thank you! ;-; 🧡
#answered#cursehole#the latter part is an idiom so you don't need to listen to this but let me ramble a little since it's been on my mind all day#birthdays always unnerve me for some reason#it's not even the getting older part#I just get hella tense about the pressure to make the day *special* in some way because that's how it's supposed to go#and I often just don't wanna do anything too out of the ordinary I'm pretty happy with mundane forms of enrichment#but I can't enjoy those boring things I actually like to do since they don't have that “special once-in-a-year” feel to them#so it's more of an annual mandatory “survive through the executive dysfunction" day#I know the curse will be lifted overnight so maybe tomorrow will be better
77 notes
·
View notes
Text
Buncha women and some green losers
#expanding the world of my silly ppg au sequel reboot whatever this is#thinking of having bellum be the mayor now idk she deserves it#keane is still a preschool teacher rip keane hope u get a raise someday#the gangreens r also older maybe young adults now idk they're still menaces but older#sedusa is there#man i wanna draw more characters from the show but i don't remember them all so sad#powerpuff girls#ppg#ppg ms bellum#ppg ms keane#ppg gangreen gang#i don't remember any of their names n i don't care not tagging them individually they're just the green gang#ppg sedusa#blue's doodles
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love him so much
#doukyuusei#doukyusei movie#kusakabe hikaru#it's serious idk why I'm so attached to fictional characters and I see myself in them or I want them to be in my life#this is so embarrassing why am I not growing up I feel like I'm 10 but I'm almost 21 and I'm refusing to admit it#and I wanna cry to death I don't wanna get older I wanna be 10 forever I hate being an adult I still sleep with my plushies#and I want a dinosaur toy so badly
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
#actually mentally ill#can't take it anymore#bpd feels#don't wanna get older#tw self destruction#tw s3lf harm#feelings#right in the feels#not again#stop it#done trying#tragedy#sad truth#truth#girls who do pills#tw drugs#take your meds#actually bpd#bpd mood#bpd vent#bpd thoughts#bpd problems#actually cptsd#living with cptsd#ptsd#complex ptsd#actually ptsd#tw ptsd#mental illness#mentally fucked
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyone else just not feeling like a real person much lately?
#'lately' he says#as if he's not been feeling this way for the last 28 years#idk man#maybe it's bc I'm getting older and so are the people i hang/chat with#but it feels like everyone else has a real life and real interests and experiences and things to say#and I'm some kind of hollow scarecrow person just full of memory loss and sadness#i feel very stupid and very boring#which i know is too harsh. and i know i should be kinder to myself bc life and covid and shit can't have helped the brain situation#and i should absolutely believe my friends when they say they wanna hang with me bc it's mean not to take them at their word#but I'm still like... why though?#genuinely what's the appeal of being around me. my head is empty i have nothing to add and I'm not interesting or that funny#it's been creeping up on me. this feeling like i just genuinely have nothing to offer.#i don't even know who i am#except for a person who like. lives vicariously through fictional characters experiencing feelings I've never had cause to feel#i can relate to emotions SO vividly except i myself haven't even felt the half of them#i just sort of quietly exist somewhere on the spectrum between content and discontent#with occasional drops into the despair zone#and even if the stuff i think is keeping me here went away tomorrow. like if mum stopped being an issue and i was free#like... what would i even do?#i don't even know how to want something#anyway. this has been morning mental breakdowns with newt#I'm going to go make some made up guys live the life i haven't now#mr. bees speaks#negative
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
btw in case anybody's wondering what i've been working on as of late i've mostly been redesigning this guy for the 4th time because sometimes good ideas are bad
#he wears biker gear now 👍 the level of detail is murdering me in real life but it looks cool#atbb#karma#not art-tagging or main-tagging this bc its a wip#but i'll still leave rbs open for a bit bc i don't plan to post any finished redesigns until a good bit in the future#oh yea im gonna be redesigning like the entire atbb crew btw . i wanna Fix them all now that i have the skills of someone older than 14#as shown here by karma no longer being a skinny rectangle with a head the size of a prized pumpkin#and the fact that i'm not nearly as scared of actually drawing wrinkles in clothes anymore lmao#i was planning to start drawing the new refs after i finished the whole ebony thing#but my brain decided to go on strike until i drew a different character and after 4 months i had to give in to demand 😔#i'll get back to that hopefully soon enough once i get back into the groove of drawing but for now i'm focused on Hellish Details#pro tip never design a character with biker gear it looks sick but you'll be in pain the entire time#especially if u try to make the collar accurate. dont ever ever make the collar of a leather jacket accurate just trust me on this one#anyway thats all for now i will disappear for another ten thousand years
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
behold! a kakaobi painting from literally months ago!
#I wanna draw more obighost#very fun#but also it kills me sometimes to think about how devastating it was for little kks to deal with growing older while obito never got to#and especially when he reaches the age obito was when he died....#I imagine this is placed on that birthday#I dunno...#think I was thinking about the idea of Obito slipping through Kakashi's fingers#he's aging and feeling as he leaves Obito behind#He fell in love with Obito and Obito died before he got to be anything more than a child#and now it's really sinking in that Obito's /gone/#and he's never going to get older#Dead kids don't age#nurt#yeah I just think this would utterly break Kks again#as a bonus to everything else ofc!!#kakaobi#Not to mention by this point it's both Kakashi's teammates that will never grow old...#hatake kakashi#uchiha obito#obikaka fanart#chearts
81 notes
·
View notes
Text
{ Happy 26th birthday to me. }
#{ I got scared awake by a phone call from my mother being like 'I'm coming over!' }#{ So I am fully awake now with a blip of anxiety that will fade very quickly. }#{ But other than that... I can't believe I'm already 26. }#{ More than halfway to 30. Gah. }#{ If y'all wanna send me birthday wishes or talk to me or whatever feel free to do so! }#{ Obviously you don't have to! Just if you want to. Please don't force yourself to just because you see this post. }#{ I'm waiting for my mom to get here so we can just yabber together about me being older. }#{ MY SISTER ALSO MADE ME A PUFFY CLAY FROG WIZARD WITH A RED HAT. }#{ It's the cutest shit ever. }#{ I love it and placed it next to my Tails figure. }#{ The Magical Wizard of Soybean is what we jokingly call it. }#{ Cause I have a Yu-Gi-Oh OC named Sawyer who loves frogs and her best male friend calls her Soybean as a niclname. }#{ Anyway- back to talking to Vira on Discord. }#{ Happy 7 Month Birthday to our new dog Leia as well. }#{ We share a birthday only once this month since her birthday isn't actually in August. }#{ I gotta give her a cookie when we have cake though. }#✠ [ ' ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴅs ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴏʀs. ' ] - ✡ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ✡
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Further experimentation... A lot more errors with the face than with the body that's for sure but progress nonetheless
#ffxiv#tsuwamono seiei#Older version looked like a little bat#this is hard lmfao#The normal map for the body is so much more intense than the head and I don't know why?#Like I even tried to exaggerate the normal map and it just doesn't work#Not to mention the fact the colors don't line up for some reason despite using the *exact* same shading#Also the neck seam which... Just isn't going to be fixed ever I'm pretty sure#Lays on the floor and dies#This is gonna be so bad when I actually get to the last part of this I wanna do 😭
29 notes
·
View notes