#don't think i'll do this next year
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*makes a small batch of turkey*
*makes sides*
*remembers exactly how much i DON'T LIKE roasted turkey as i take the first bite*
*sigh*
why do i NEVER remember this? I like turkey as a lunch meat, but otherwise? meh
i will have forgotten this again by next year probably
#also i tried a new stuffing i found at aldi and it's very salty#at least the green bean casserole turned out okay#and the sparkling grape juice was nice#don't think i'll do this next year#i mostly did it this year for nostalgia i guess#i did it for mom every year bc she loved turkey#but now that it's just me i think i'll pass#providing my sieve of a brain retains the decision#next year i'll get myself some nice shellfish maybe or a small ham#anything but turkey#i am sad i can't seem to make myself like it anymore bc it's SO CHEAP around now#i hate not being able to take advantage of that#but bleagh#me#my life
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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What a year it's been! Not a ton of personal work but I feel like that's starting to swing back around, at least in my head!
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#yunyinart#art progress#summary of art#summary of art meme#some months were busy and some were sparse but that's how it goes!#one thing is that I don't want to make any promises about what I'll make next year#so that I don't say I'll do a thing and then not end up doing it#even though I tried to be like 'I'm thinking of doing X' and not I WILL do X'#I still feel like I intended to do a lot and didn't wind up doing it for various reasons#it might have disappointed people but even if it didn't it disappointed me#not speaking of commissions of course#I am pleased that I drew the akuma couffaine pic this year though!
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And never let you go ♥
Bonus without the overspill lighting:
#💟#Digital art#Full Art#Art#Edgar#Scriabin#It's that time of year again where I get real sappy about Vargas ♥ Because yes! Once again it is my own personal Vargasversary! 🎊 Yaaaay#Seven years now - I don't know what to do with seven years it feels like a hard to define number haha#Right in the middle between five years and ten years! A while to be certain but hard to define as a Long Time either hmm#Well whatever it doesn't matter <3 The important part is that I still love Vargas and them very much ♥♪#I actually didn't really have any specific plans for this Vargasversary :0 I haven't been drawing them much again#Other things have drawn my focus and attention hehe ♪#So I just kinda set my hand loose - no sketches on paper no defined idea - this is just what my hand/brain came up with in the moment#I'm pleased :) I think it accurately expresses how I feel about them hehe <3#I wrote down what ended up being the text/caption a couple months ago while I was in Big Love in their direction#I don't remember what inspired it anymore other than just - They ♥ Themst ♥ Do love them <3#I've planned my next reread now ♪ Barring anything drastic (like an update lol) I know when I'll be rereading next#I'm looking forward to it! :D As always hehe <3#It's still a bit a ways off which works well for recharging :)#And of course I'll be doing my usual in the meanwhile - this and the main anniversary and my sketchdumps and Requestober haha#The caption is as much me as it is Edgar after all <3#Even quiet and sleeping I still find them as a comfort - a place I find rest and joy in ♥#Inspiring and lovely and wonderful - pretty and tender and dear!#Oh and#Always finding a way to flip up the bottom of the shirt#Hehe <3
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I think the portrayal of Spider-Man 2099 in Across the Spider-Verse is in-character in that aside from like Shattered Dimensions he's always been portrayed as a bit of an asshole who slips into anti-hero territory at times and generally has a "needs of the many over the needs of the few" mindset and given his specific circumstances in the movie it's not unreasonable to think he could take the actions he does. However it does kinda suck that since like 99% of moviegoers had no idea who he was before the movie came out their first impression of him is when he's in an antagonistic role and people think "antagonist" and "villain" are synonyms so now I'm gonna have to listen to people who've never read a comic saying he's a villain or isn't a real Spider-Man for the rest of time or at least until he inevitably changes his mind in the third one.
#hell you don't even need to read a comic just look up a let's play of spider-man edge of time you'll get what i mean#but yeah i saw a post that was like#''the first movie had a joke about how spider-man doesn't wear a cape and miguel has a cape they did that to show he's not spider-man''#as if he hasn't had that cape since his creation 30 fucking years ago#he's not even the only spider-man to have one. spider-man unlimited is also a thing that exists.#even the first movie had that call-back joke where they see the peter from miles's universe had a suit with a cape#these movies have a lot of little details with deeper meanings but the cape thing just isn't one of them sorry#but yeah. play edge of time or find it on youtube it's good.#shattered dimensions is also good but miguel's personality in that game is closer to peter's for some reason#so edge of time is better for getting a feel of what he's usually like#but yeah i do think spider-verse miguel was probably more straightforwardly heroic like other versions before the whole dead family thing#and i think he and the rest of the spider society are just genuinely misguided about how the whole canon event thing works#cause like george and gwen don't die in every universe peter doesn't get the symbiote in every universe#even uncle ben doesn't die in every universe#but miguel THINKS those things always happen. that's why he got the others to believe it cause he genuinely believes it himself#and i think they all take comfort in the idea that these bad things that happen to them happen for a reason#i know that's josh keaton's interpretation for why spectacular peter joined and i don't disagree with it#that's also why i disagree with people saying that miles is The Only True Spider-Man There just cause he was the first to outright reject it#look me in the fucking eye and tell me spectacular peter and insomniac peter don't understand what it means to be spider-man#or actually don't cause i'll bitch slap you into next week if you do#miguel o'hara#marvel#shut up tristan
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pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"
#trying to plan a solo cicada pilgrimage and getting brainworms about it yeehaw#'making a lot of plans and never actually doing things in real life' has been a problem for literally as long as I can remember#but I also feel like I've developed a learned helplessness over the last several years that's gotten worse as I've gotten older??#me age twenty: I think I'm gonna take myself to chicago next week because I feel like going to the zoo#me age thirty: am I allowed to go camping alone. am I allowed to do a solo road trip. I need a grownup#to be extremely clear I am very much allowed and this is not justin's fault and I don't know where it comes from#like I'll run things by him lowkey seeking 'permission' that I don't even need and he'll be like 'yeah that sounds good to me'#and then I STILL won't do the thing because like. my brain keeps insisting there needs to be a grownup in charge?? HELLO I'M GROWNUP#anyway I'm doing cicada trip solo BECAUSE-- the drive is so long I want to do five days because two of them will just be driving#and he can't get that much time off work right now#AND because I literally only want to Be Camping and Looking At Bugs but he'd get bored of a week of that he likes Activities#me this morning getting insecure and weird: what are your thoughts... on cicada voyage....#him after at first not even understanding the question: I'm SO excited for you?? you deserve to get to go absolutely feral???#I do.... ;n; 💕 why am I so scared to be a person.......#about me#cicada quest
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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who was gonna tell me i've been writing ad astra for eleven months. what.
#this is /pos i'm glad i've stuck with it. also embarrassed its taking me this long but!! i'm proud of it#one year anniversary will be next month#i don't think i'll finish it by then but should be pretty close!!#shout out to anyone who's been following since the beginning <3 we're doing it guys#raven rambles
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hello hi tell us about mementos and the security level
OH HELLO. Welcome to my personal hill to die on. This post is long. It's one of my out-loud rants in text form. Sorry in advance. There's a cut down there somewhere.
Thesis statement of whatever's about to come next is that Mementos fucks actually as a concept its execution was just horrible and also Yaldabaoth is a terrible final boss. OKAY LET'S GET INTO IT
First things first I really do think Mementos should have gotten a security level. The game plays "Mementos is the public's Palace" very straight, all the way to the end, insisting that Yaldabaoth is created by the public's desire for a status quo yadda yadda yadda. So like. Here's the screenshots actually
I didn't get the whole conversation mostly because I think I was streaming at the time and complaining out loud but like. He just straight-up says this? And then they do nothing with it???
Imagine this with me. Enter the imagisphere or whatever.
It's October. You've just defeated Okumura, and you just watched the mysterious black-masked figure you've been told cryptically about for a while now kill his Shadow. You watch Okumura have a mental shutdown live. It's horrific! It's worrying! What happened? What's going to happen to you? The Phan-Site meter starts dropping rapidly. You go to Mementos to prepare for the next Palace.
There's a security level.
NOT ONLY did this act make the public lose faith in you, but now you're enemy #1, and it's reflected in the collective unconscious. This Chekov's gun that they set up back in May goes off. You have to be much more careful in Mementos because if you aren't, you could get kicked out. The stakes are higher. Mementos, the public view of you, has changed. It's not just doors opening for you anymore.
THAT WOULD BE SO COOL. RIGHT? RIGHT??? BUT NO! No we don't get a security level until the depths, which contradicts itself, actually, because once you get to the depths, the whole POINT is that the public ISN'T reacting to you or your actions! Why the hell would they care that you're In There!
The obvious answer is that it's because the security level belongs to the Holy Grail/Yaldabaoth/the fuckass cup/whatever you personally call him. And okay, whatever, but the game goes out of its way to establish that the Grail isn't really a separate entity from "public desire," he IS "public desire," the status quo incarnate, so once again, I ask, why is this the only time you have a security level! (I know it's because this is the home-stretch to the final boss and mechanically it has to act like a proper Palace. I still think it's stupid.)
And now that I'm talking about the Grail. Hi. Hello. If you've talked to me on Discord you already know this but I fucking hate the Grail. I think it's stupid. I think it's thematically inconsistent. I think its only purpose is to be the "Let's fight God!" final boss. I truly believe that if I hadn't gotten into Persona 5 through Royal, I would not still be into Persona 5, because I would have gotten so frustrated with Yaldabaoth that I would have dropped the game. I regularly complain for half an hour straight about this thing in voice calls. One person once told me the only thing they knew about Persona 5 was that this cup sucked because I wouldn't shut up about it.
I've somehow managed to not do this on Tumblr but I can't really talk about Mementos without talking about it so I guess we're talking about the cup
Narratively: Yaldabaoth just sort of comes out of nowhere??? The whole game is building up to Shido. The whole game. And you do it! You defeat him! And then... there's this other thing??? Apparently??? I was genuinely really confused when I got to this part of the game the first time because I was going ok we beat the final boss complete with eight hundred phases! Hooray! And now there's this other fucker. Going back through the game there's some foreshadowing for him? But it's kind of all concentrated in the start of the game, around Madarame's Palace, when you're just getting used to Mementos, and then it all sorta just disappears.
YOU KNOW WHAT IS FORESHADOWED, THOUGH? MORGANA.
Imagine with me x2 because this is where I thought the game was taking us when it went "btw we need to tackle the depths now"
Morgana has no memories. Morgana knows there's something in the depths that explains who he is. Morgana assumes it's because he's human, and will become human again if he finds out what it is. The WHOLE POINT of exploring Mementos was for Morgana's memories! And then he starts getting these really unsettling dreams, right, where he's a Shadow, or has a Shadow, or whatever. And then you get to the depths.
What I thought was about to happen was that we were going to find out that Morgana was more or less what the Grail claims to be(a being created by the wishes of the masses) and that Mementos was going to be Morgana's Palace. "Oh but Morgana has a Persona-" Morgana's already a weird case I could easily see him having a Shadow or being a Shadow himself while also having a Persona. I'm ignoring Maruki because we're talking about vanilla and Maruki didn't exist yet.
I thought our final boss was going to be Mona's Shadow and that by defeating him(the part of Morgana(as a Shadow/Metaverse being/etc) representative of what they were trying to make Yaldabaoth: wanting to let the status quo handle everything, more or less, the desire to let the system do what it's designed to even if that thing is "crush everything in its path") we would reaffirm that change is possible as long as we all work together. Morgana getting to be this very physical symbol of rebellion and force of will and getting to go NO I want to try even if it hurts me.
What actually happened was... a lot more underwhelming.
What we got was, in a game where one of the primary themes is "rebellion against systemic injustice, you can't just get rid of the One Guy and fix Everything," a final boss who was... one guy who if you got rid of him you'd fix everything?
And I get it Atlus doesn't want to actually shake the boat that much but at the same time Yaldabaoth comes out of nowhere and says absolutely nothing of substance in a game that, over and over again, gets SO CLOSE to saying something really powerful and then sinking back into what's comfortable. It's the aesthetic of rebellion without the teeth of it.
Anyway now that I've complained for an essay's worth here's some positive stuff
I really do like Mementos. It gets a lot of shit for being repetitive and boring and like I sort of get that but on the other hand it is a JRPG. I'm not sure what you expected from the area that is, mechanically, "Here's where you go to grind." I don't see a problem with having this area. I think the special floor events manage to spice it up enough that it's not all that boring. I like Jose being there in Royal, I think he adds a lot, actually. The implications of everything Jose says are fascinating to me. The fact it's impacted by the weather! Like, as a world component, Mementos is so so cool actually guys. I know it's a Persona game so "world impacted by cognition" is sort of the bare minimum but it's really cool!!! The aesthetics fuck! The only layer I really don't like is.. fuck, I think it's Kaitul? Whichever one gets unlocked after Kaneshiro's Palace, I haven't gotten there in my current playthrough yet. It's just... too dark to see, all the time, imo. Mementos feels(except for... 90% sure it's Chemdah) very oppressive and spooky and I honestly think that's great. It's a depressing place to be! For a game about how corruption and systemic violence hurts everybody, it's really good!
In conclusion... don't ask me about Mementos unless you want an essay LMAO in seriousness I understand why Mementos gets shit but I think it should get less of it. And also that I could have fixed it(the cup. The cup is the big bad part of Mementos. Not the grinding you're going to get that with a JRPG no matter what you do you signed up for it when you launched the game.)
#persona 5#mementos#loooong rant#mementos is my underdeveloped blorbo ive been getting slowly more unhinged about it for the last year or so#i NEED to write something fun about mementos. that isn't phanshuffle#the fun thing about mementos in phanshuffle is-- wait no im not supposed to be talking spoilers over here#packing phanshuffle back into its box not now#anyway yeah mementos is great. i should write that mona's palace au.#thank you anon i woke up and saw this and got so excited#i would provide screenshots for the Jose stuff but i don't apparently HAVE them???#I'll fix that on my next playthrough#here you go the cup rant in text form. i will give it again. i will elaborate even. i have such a grudge against this thing.#the best i can say for it is that the fight is flashy and fun and i do like akira summoning a persona the size of a building and shooting-#-him with a giant fuckoff gun. that was fun#but i think maruki is a much better final boss. by virtue of actually being thematically consistent#i'll talk about that too but not right now this was about mementos. and if i start talking about maruki its all over
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Tfp gijinkas (1/4) Dad squad (aka I binged a childhood favorite show in 3 days and the special interest won) Zoom in to the image for more details (especially the faces, that's where I put the most details)
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[Image ID: A character sheet with two characters on it. On the left side is a human version of Optimus Prime from Transformers Prime. He's tall and muscular with tan skin and blue-tinted black hair that is visibly grayed. His hair is around shoulder-length and tied into a short ponytail with a red hairtie. His expression is neutral and his eyes are dark blue. There are several scars on his face and hands, and the lines on his face show his age. He is wearing a black turtleneck, a red, cropped bomber-style jacket with white lining and a blue autobots logo embroidered on the left shoulder, blue trousers with gray patches and dark blue combat boots with black soles. He has two swords holstered on his back with connected shoulder-holsters. Placed around him are character design notes, reading as follows: "I turned his eye notches into scars - at first I thought of eyeliner but it didn't feel right". "I tried to simultaneously give him the vibes of a hands-on leader, a father figure and a dignified man in his twilight years - and I have no idea if I succeeded!". "I made both him and Ratchet appear somewhere in their 50s." "He accidentally ended up looking a lot like my design of Anton Shudder". "Making an outfit for him was tough because as a kid I thought his design made him look like he was wearing a cropped jacket and denim short-shorts. But I can't have him fighting decepticons in that, think of the asphalt burns! It was hard to unthink that, though". A tiny version of the Sonic the Hedgehog "my fucking god! these bitches gay! Good for them, good for them!" -meme is placed to his right. On the right side of the page is a human version of Ratchet from the same franchise. He's a stocky white man with pale skin and a few freckles here and there, but not many. His hair is mostly white, with some ginger streaks still visible. It is short and somewhat spiky near the back. He also has sideburns, a beard with no moustache and thick eyebrows. He looks grouchy and he has several facial scars and his face is lined. His eyes are cyan. He's wearing a red-and-white uniform, reminiscent of a first responder's outfit. It consists of a zip-up jacket, a thicker jacket on top, trousers, gloves and boots. The zip-up is white with a red zipper, and the jacket has four pockets and is mostly red with white shoulders and sleeves with heartbeat-reminiscent patterns. The jacket also has a white belt. The trousers are white with similar red stripes. The entire outfit has reflective stripes. The boots are mostly white with red heels and soles, and metal-enforced toes. He's holding a scalpel in one hand. There's a red autobots logo on his jackets over his heart. The design notes around him read as follows "He needs a strong nosebrideg because he's going to be pinching it a lot." "He came out looking like a middle-aged Roskilde paramedic named something like "Fredrik" or "Søren" who claims to have Manchester Orchestra as his favorite band (which isn't entirely false but) spends more time listening to ABBA and Radical Face." "Reflective stripes - safety first!". A meme with the text "Dad: doesn't want dog. Family: gets dog anyways. dad and dog:" and a picture of a man and a dog grilling. /end ID]
#fanart#tfp#transformers prime#tfp ratchet#tfp optimus prime#gijinkas#gijinka#I've got 2 more designs done#but I will post them when I finish the next 2 after that#and so on and so forth until we are done#I mean currently I only have plans for the autobots#so there's only 6 more#I don't know if I'll do Cliffjumper#because I don't think I could top just having him be Dwayne the Rock Johnson in a funky outfit#like I thought of that and nothing I could draw would be as funny#Anyways yeah! binged this show in 3 days including the movie!#It made me feel so many things#I just thought I could casually watch some of it for old times' sake but no!#the special interest from 8 years ago reappeared#I was so right to be obsessed with this show#anyways yippee!!#this actually isn't the order I drew them in#I drew Ratchet first then bumblebee then arcee and optimus fourth#but I decided to rearrange them just so I could give the character sheets funny names#I'm a simple man#I'm actually working on a cosplay of one of these designs#Goal is to have it done by January
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i hate feeling ambitionless aimless the future is so bleak
#this is about me not the events#i really don't think i have a plan lol and i ever will...#because all through school i had this thing. need to pass this unit test this half yearly this 2nd unit test final exams need to do this#cocurricular activity and the absolute relief when i flipped the report to see i was promoted every year. that was the aim right#now i don't know what's happening#a set set of friends i met everyday sat next to permanent place in the field where we had lunch. like?#it was all so permanent#i knew teachers did not like me or how people there felt about me#and i think a lot of it comes from the fact that i never changed schools#14 years in the same place then one random tuesday it ends everything ends and im supposed to start from scratch#losing friends was all my fault but goddddddf. i used to be good at things#like when i was in 10th grade i gave my everything to studying maths because mom threatened me that if do not get science here we'll change#your school#to wherever you get science#so i studied like crazy did not touch my phone for months and got science#like that is my level of attachment to that place#i just miss it so much probably more than my own home#and i can't belong anywhere because i'm so stuck and nothings good enough and i miss being good and being academically productive#it was my only win i think#this is so sad but i don't think i'll ever get that past work ethic back and it will never be good enough for me to feel good about myself#which can only be through study or work because im a loser who thinks she's worthless if not for a successful career#and I've felt this way for three years now. it is going to be permanent#everything is lonely
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controversial opinion but i really think the best way to enjoy a taylor swift song is to hear it and apply it to your life and have no idea about the actual taylor lore inspiration for the song until maybe 10 years later. that's what i did for every album release cycle i've been around for from speak now to evermore and i've really missed it during midnights and ttpd
#i know i know i can do something about this like refurbish a bus and live off the grid for the next 10 years#or like. change up who i follow on here (swiftie mutuals ily though)#but i do want to interact with the fandom just not in a way that my personal applications of songs get drowned out by. lots of genius#which is all incredible i just. like a bit of mysteriousness personally#anyway i didn't know who any of the speak now muses were til last year (except maybe last kiss and obv dear john)#plus i will admit the last 2 albums i have been distracted by other artist releases within weeks to a month of both of them#and i think i'll have to rediscover these songs on my own time#taylor swift#speak now#folklore#evermore#midnights#ttpd#this is not to say that i don't care about taylor. i do. i just want to be able to associate her songs with more things than her life#not in a bad way. just to me that's what songs are for#but then again i can't complain if i seek out swiftie content can i?
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#shedinja#now THIS is what i'm talkin' about! i love shedinja. i think it's a very unique pokémon and wonder guard is very *cool* if only it were ever#y'know. relevant. this thing is weak to way too many types for it to be relevant but like it's still cool in concept i think#you kinda can't tell what it is from this angle but that's why you have me here to tag it so you do know what it is#so. bit of a life update for you all. i accidentally deleted some semi-important files i needed for work. like two weeks ago#and i didn't realize i did‚ bc they were inside a folder that i deleted. but i didn't need the files at the time and i hadn't for months#i hadn't used those files since like last year. but now i need them again and i just realized that i deleted them two weeks ago#by accident? and now i need them again. to be able to do my work. so i'm actually queueing this guy and the next guy up#while i'm supposed to be working. as i've just sent an email to my boss being like Haha Hey. Do you Have a Backup of tHese Files……… PLease#and i'm hoping DESPERATELY that she does. if she doesn't i'll have to fucking reverse engineer them which i am not excited for#if it comes to fruition. so i'm just hoping she has a copy of them. feelin like shedinja against a fire-type rn fr i swear#i'll let you all know what she says when i get her response. if i get it before i'm done queuing up shedinja and whismur#spoilers. whismur is next but you could just look up the natdex numbers. and know that whismur is next#also don't tell me to look in the trash. on my computer. i know they're not there. for one i checked and for two they couldn't be there#because i rm -r'd the folder. i didn't just right-click delete that shit. i killed that shit. it's GONE#you might be asking me… why would you do that! and i would say? i did not know these files were in there#you didn't ask for all this information so i'm cutting it off here
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ive never felt more rural than i have in the past few weeks since hanging out with a lad who has only ever lived in cities. what do you MEAN YOU'VE NEVER DONE A MORRIS DANCE
#he didn't even know what morris dancers WERE i said some shit like 'you know it's summer when the morris dancers come out'#and he was like 'the what now' I FEEL LIKE IM GOING CRAZY. HE'S FUCKING WITH ME SURELY#AND THIS HAPPENS SO OFTEN ABOUT THINGS I JUST ASSUMED WERE BASICS#'harvest festival 🤨' PARDON. YOU ARE JOKING#and also the CONCEPT of a village is baffling to him. i said there's probably about 100 people in my entire village#and we don't have a pub or a single shop the closest ones are in the NEXT village over which is a 3 mile walk#and this boy was HORRIFIED. we are both in a constant state of thinking the other is taking the piss#and now every time i think/do something abundantly rural im SO self-aware 😭#my mum told me the farmers are gonna do a xmas tractor run through our village this year#(they usually miss our village bc even by village standards it's tiny)#and she was like 'shame you'll miss it! i'll send you a video!' and im there already picturing this boy's face when i show it him#like sigh. yeah. yeah okay maybe the rural england is ingrained deeper than i feared. never escaping the allegations etc#had a conversation with him the other day that concluded with me 100% genuinely being like 'you need to touch grass'#i literally said 'i think it would fix you. like actually go and touch some grass what the fuck'#bc at this point he's so far removed from nature that it's INSANE TO ME. i didnt realise how much i took growing up rurally for granted#THESE PEOPLE DONT EVEN GET DRUNK IN FIELDS. THEY HAVE NO FIELDS. I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO HIM WHAT A CAMP OUT WAS
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dahlia and roses from my garden
#dahlia#flowers#my garden#this dahlia really doing numbers on my other socials so I'm posting it here too#so we can all enjoy it!#isn't it a lovely peachy colour?#I don't think I'll grow dahlias next year#as they're a little too big and unwieldy for my small garden#but I'm enjoying them for now#I love experimenting with different plants and seeing what works and what doesn't in my space#the climbing roses are a feature of the last few years#they're here to stay!#this is my favourite kind of colour on flowers#the sort of orangey pink colour family
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Can not stress enough the value of having physical copies of photos in your home. First thing we did at our apartment was put up a gallary wall and we've been adding a few more pictures over time and it's so nice. Really lovely reminder of the people we love and who love us.
#Even just a photo album if you don't want to hang stuff up#You can get shitty picture frames for really cheap and it doesn't really matter because you don't move them very often#So they don't like. Breakdown over time as quickly as other cheap decor#We also have a bunch of loose pictures just magneted to the fridge#Most of the framed pictures we have were taken within the last five years either by me or by Jens mom#So it's a lot of pictures of Jen and I. Our friends. And our immediate families#I also recently found a couple of pictures from what I think is my first Christmas with my (step) mom in the bottom of a box of family#Photos and framed those and it's sweet#I haven't printed any pictures from the past year or so but hopefully I'll have a chance to soon#We have a new nephew now and there's pictures of his sister on the gallery wall but not of him which feels sort of unfair#It DOES mean I have to be careful on video calls because there are#Pictures of family members and family friends as young children on my wall and I don't feel comfortable sharing like#Pictures of my brother at age 10 with my boss like I don't think that's my right to share#But I don't have any pictures hanging in my office space so it's chill I just can't do zoom meetings in the living room#I'm also trying to hang up Jen and I's art more often#(Jens paintings and my embroidery) and it's really fun to see that#I think also next time I print photos I'm going to get some of our cats#They deserve to be framed :)#Idk it's partially just the historian instinct but I really love having physical copies of stuff
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