#don't overtalk things

[eri-pl]

Important observation from my reread of Silm: when Feanor doesn't answer you, shut up. Do not talk to him more. Just shut up and wait it you will make it worse.

[scarefox]

Ah yes... new show, new people to blacklist 🙃

[nymph-ette111]

hiiiiiii!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) could you do a simon cof x sweet, feminine reader headcannons? made my own headcannons to share with you because ily and i love this prompt(⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

♡ i imagine reader and simon would go out, hes wearing the same crusty ass grey hoodie while shes dressed up all cute and pretty >.<

♡ he reeks of nicotine while she smells like neapolitan marshmallows<3 hes obsessed with her scent. he literally loves using her bodycare/haircare products over his 3 in 1 men shampoo (if he even showers that is) because he'd smell more like her.

♡ she shares absolutely everything of her purchases. she'd do little mini hauls to Simon, showcasing her new pink ballerina flats, sugarbunnies plushie she had to fight a war for in mercari, too faced chocolate bar palette, cute japanese stationary, and a lot of new clothes. Simon loves it. he loves seeing her happy. (may even buy her things he thinks she would love if he didn't have a smoking addiction<3)

♡ she doesnt only share that though she also loves talking his ears off about anything and everything<3 at first he was annoyed with her constant talking but when he spoke of it, she stopped talking so much and he got guilty and missed her overtalking. he tried to bring her spark back in talking and it worked

♡ shes compassionate and kind, understanding his struggles (but not condoning his actions) and helping him to get better. (he really wants to be saved by her but feels that he just cannot.)

♡ he really doesn't get why she's with him. Hes depressed, miserable, and difficult to be with. His low self esteem sometimes gets the best of him and he starts believing that he's not worthy of her, often leaving her on read, missing her calls, and ignoring her. (im sensing attachment issues) reader clutches w communication though :3

♡ they'd explore abandoned buildings. Simon's there to smoke blunts while readers there to get awesome fit pictures<3 they would go a long way travelling and reader the most practical girl you know has her feet hurt from walking on platforms. they either take lots of breaks or Simon just carries her on his back (unlikely)

♡ talk about taking fit pictures, Simon's technically her photographer. She has a blog where she posts fashion and besides the mirror pics, Simon's always the one taking the pictures. He's quite good at it too.

some of these headcannons probably won't work in his time but who cares(⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ) hope this prompt isnt that hard to write for..(⁠ᗒ⁠ᗩ⁠ᗕ⁠)you can always ignore if you want!! thankkkkkk you x3 xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxooxoxoxox

WARNINGS; MENTIONS OF SMOKING, MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION

AUTHOR'S NOTE; WHOEVER REQUESTED THIS JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU!!! probably inaccurate for both the character and the timeline... listen, I don't know what swedish people were up to in 2012 leave me alone. also not very happy with this, still trying to figure out how to write Simon :3

-he looks comically out of place in your room. just imagine a pastel pink room filled to the brim with cute plushies, shelves full of little trinkets and books, floral bedding and lace curtains. a wall full of movie posters, magazine pages, and little polaroids of your most treasured moments, and then there's a depressed smoke addict.

-you know those videos where it's a boyfriend sleeping in their girlfriend's girly room with a bunch of plushies on top of him? yeah, basically same situation.

-his sleep schedule is fucked up. either he pulls an all nighter or is passed out till 3 pm. when it's one of those times where Simon feels tired, you just let him sleep in your bed whilst you do whatever.

-it's also a great opportunity to gather the perfect pictures for black mailing.

-he just looks so stupid in your room I love him.

-doesn't care about your plushies but will learn to treat them nicely after you yelled at him for 15 minutes straight about how it's unacceptable to throw rilakkuma off the bed just so he could sit down.

-punches the plush when you aren't looking.

-he definitely gives you that pink hello kitty hoodie to wear. or he wears it instead so you two could match. that's probably your idea and he obliges because it's something you love and enjoy.

-really like the idea of him being your personal photographer. he's always the first to leave a like on whatever you post, especially if it's he who took the picture.

-doesn't know anyone besides you. his followings on social media just contain a bunch of his favorite bands and your account.

-a bit sad but I can see him borrowing your money (with permission) to buy cigarettes if his mother refuses to give him any. he wants to buy you stuff you might like but he's too busy spending it on his addiction :(

-he instead draws you your favorite characters so you can put it on the wall alongside your other pictures.

-has never been in the vicinity of a woman without being an awkward shit. moral of the story he doesn't know anything about girls. his knowledge of things is pretty vague, so please don't be surprised if you see him just poking around your vanity and asking a million different questions on what certain products do and why.

-his mother is very happy her son finally found a girlfriend. she approves of you and thinks you're an absolute sweetheart. always asks Simon when you will visit them again.

-you two definitely earn a few stares in public because how did such a sweet and pretty girl end up with a guy like Simon.

-it pisses him off endlessly but can't help his thoughts and feelings. thinks he doesn't deserve you or any of the kind shit you do for him.

-like nonnie said, he probably isn't the greatest boyfriend... there are times where he cancels your hang-outs without further explanation or simply doesn't acknowledge any of your calls and messages. he feels pretty shitty after it and apologizes for his behavior. you forgive him even though you both know he'll do it again.

-he is low-key obsessed with your smell, he smothers anything you have in the shower all over his body without caring what it's for, just simply reads the labels and puts it on... with big amounts. this man is making you go bankrupt. you could literally see the outline of his fingers left in the product..

-his camera is full of pictures of you, he likes looking at them when he feels down. which is pretty often.

-shows you all of his favorite places in Stockholm or even Kirkvile (where does this man live I don't get it) ones that aren't usually full of people, just overly adventurous teenagers from time to time. something tells you that you two have trespassed into private property multiple times but Simon doesn't want to answer that question clearly.

-ugh imagine clipping cute little hair clips into Simon's hair and he just lets you do whatever you want because if you're happy then he is happy and he wants to see you smile :(

-in exchange, you let him do corpse paint on your face.

[notnights]

This is gonna be long because im an overthinker AND an overtalker- sorry in advance 😭

alright so i found out you wrote a fic for Ribbuns and immediately went off to check it out, and the tags actually scared me cause my taste for ribbun fics is smthn cute and fluffy- bc they get enough hate as it is, i didnt want them to hate eachother as well lol. Idk, the tags made it seem as if there wouldnt have been a happy ending where they both end up liking eachother.

BUT once I read it!! yes it started off negative, Gangle hating him and the overall relationship theme being kinda toxic (its probably tame but im not mentally strong for this ok) although its deserved since, you know, Jax. No hate to him or anything, the fic says it all lmao

but the way you write them-- it made me open my eyes to this type of relationship between them, particularly on how Gangle had- what, a power trip?- in this relationship, treating Jax badly but him still loving her. Woke smthn up in me frfr; ESPECIALLY THIS (along with more scenes but i esp like the power Gangle is shown to have here over him):

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He shuts up when she says his name though. Nothing more, just a clear command to stop and a quick glance up to his face. Will question why that tickles her brain later.(Acetate Tears, Chapter 1)

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this made me fall in love (as well as understand the trope more) for power trips in toxic love.

Almost made me change teams, to look for angsty toxic ribbun content despite my mentality, until:

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Jax leans into her, pounces. Gives her silly wet kisses. She gives a squeaky scream. Weakly attempts to push him away from her, despite knowing she deserves this. Well maybe not this specifically , but some form of punishment. (same source)

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THIS made me giggle and kick my feet in glee, reminding me of my love for soft kisses in fics

TLDR; your fic is honestly one of the best Ribbun fics ive read so far (im still digging through the tags!! I'm desperate for more!!) and it also awoken smthn in me that i tried to ignore hehe.

I LOVE your perception on their relationship, their behaviours, mindset, everything! Here's to hoping you'll write more ribbun, but its ok if u dont!! 🐰🎀

(im not good with words, but i hope my love for your fic is shared thru this jumble of words lol. I also hope episode 4 gives more depth to Ribbun's relationship that can bring more supporters instead of hate, since its gonna be focused on Gangle🤲)

((OH and im sharing my thoughts here instead of ao3 bc i'm super duper shy for no reason -carbon footprint scares me- and somehow tumblr asks in anon mode isnt as scary. Again, srry im saying so much 💀You dont hv to answer this since its long and not rlly an ask lmao))

Aw hey this is sweet thank you! You're all good, I am also an overthinker and overtalker (if that hasn't been apparent by the way I answer asks already) so I get it!

the tags actually scared me... Idk, the tags made it seem as if there wouldnt have been a happy ending where they both end up liking eachother.

Hey that's alright! That's what the tags are for to make sure this is something a potential reader can handle or get prepare for! The unfortunate thing is I obviously don't want to give away too much with them such as the happy ending, so I totally understand if it wards some people off. Respect for those who know their limits!

I also wanted to leave the ending a bit ambiguous as to if they truly ended up together or not. And depending on what you're hoping for with the story might not be the happy ending [Ganlge voice] you were hoping for.

particularly on how Gangle had- what, a power trip?- in this relationship, treating Jax badly but him still loving her.

One of my favorite things in stories about relationships is that one brings out something in the other they didn't know they needed to let out. Helps balance themselves out. Jax lets Gangle let out more than just "sadness" he lets her find out she's more than a pity party, she has anger to release and resentment to express (among other emotions). She has more than two emotions.

And while this is primarily a comment on Gangle, (this ain't about Jax right now...) Gangle lets Jax find out he's someone capable of relinquishing and receiving of love (the thing about him hating the idea of them having a "happily ever after.")

THIS made me giggle and kick my feet in glee, reminding me of my love for soft kisses in fics

Glad to hear it! I do really like Jax and Gangle being cute. But I like it more when it's after all the hard stuff. One of those well earned things. A cold glass of lemonade after mowing the grass. Eating something salty before eating something sweet and it makes it taste even sweeter!

A lot of folks make cute Jax and Gangle content that it makes me forget I don't make enough of it. Those of y'all who make cute stuff balance out whatever the hell I'm doing over here! So thanks for that.

All these things are very kind of you to say also! Thank you! It means a lot that you came to say them even though you were so shy!

Good luck with your searching! I hope you find more that you enjoy.

And yess I'm very excited for the Gangle episode either if it has some interaction between them or not. Because while I ship them and they're my two favorite characters, as my boyfriend describes "you just like Jax as an accessory to Gangle." Oops! Here's two hoping that sticker set implies there is some more meaningful interaction between them there.

[anonymous-dee]

Ranpo! Is! Autistic Coded!

Hear me out! I definitely think Ranpo from BSD is Autistic coded! It only occurred to me during my second watch-through but a lot of his mannerisms actually match up a lot with my own experiences as someone with ASD! :0

I found a whole article explaining a lot of different things that make him Autistic coded so I'll link it here! But I'll also make a TLDR version too in case the link doesn't work!

BASICALLY!

1.Infodumping/Overtalking

2.Missing tons of social cues

3.Obliviousness in many situations

4.Not understanding/feeling/expressing emotions the same as others

5.Comfort objects and stimming

6.Meltdowns

7.Sensory issues (especially with clothing)

8.Hand flapping

9."Childish" or unusual interests/hyperfixations

I love him so much! (Even though Akutagawa is my ultimate favorite character)! I would love to elaborate on the points made above but the article does a better job than me!

UPDATE!! I JUST STARTED WATCHING SEASON 4 SO UNDERNEATH HERE WILL BE S4 SPOILERS!!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!

So based off of all of the Ranpo LORE revealed in the first episode his Autism beams are stronger than ever because HEAR ME OUT!!!

So it's revealed that Ranpo always gets perceived as childish even when he doesn't wish to be perceived that way (I know he's 14 but he says something along the lines of like "Here we go again, getting treated like a child") which is something many people with Autism (me included) have to deal with from our NT peers

AND! Not to mention the particular eating habits from when Fukuzawa was taking him out to eat red bean bowls with mochi in them and he didn't eat any of the mochi (in any of the 20 bowls)

AAAAAND! This is the spiciest part! It was revealed that Ranpo kept getting fired from jobs because of how blunt he was with the truth and how he would easily confront his superiors about their past or their crimes! It's so hard for many Autistic people to keep a job oftentimes because many of us don't understand social cues!

Another thing was that Ranpo automatically assumed that all of the tiny details he noticed were common knowledge and that everyone was on the same page as him, when in actuality he was noticing things that nobody else had yet to pick up on!

There were many other moments where Ranpo either didn't pick up on social cues or said/acted in ways that were out of pocket or not "normal" if that makes sense, and it only strengthens the argument that Ranpo is Autistic coded!

FUKUZAWA IS SUCH A NICE ADOPTIVE FATHER TO HIM OKAY AAAAH I'M ONLY ONE EPISODE IN BUT LITERALLY I LOVE RANPO SO MUCH! HE JUST LIKE ME FR FR

OKAY SO ANOTHER EDIT/UPDATE!

IN EPISODE 2 RANPO SAYS SOMETHING VERY DISTINCT AND APPLICABLE TO MOST PEOPLE WITH AUTISM AND IT WAS THAT "There's something that everyone else gets that I don't"

And then he has a small meltdown in the theater and you can clearly see people are starting to stare if you look closely

I literally relate to him so much so much so much

IN EPISODE 3, Ranpo also notes that he can't pay attention to things he has no interest in, which is something I personally really struggle with (especially as a college student RIP)

I'm not 100% sure if his breakdown at the end of episode 3 would constitute as something that should be added to this list, but I think it's noteworthy because I myself have also had similar meltdowns that went very similar to Ranpo's and I want to mention it.

I know I keep expanding this list as I find more and more content but somehow Ranpo's existence and the way he is unanimously respected and loved by the ADA is somehow really validating and comforting to me at the same time. I know BSD is fiction but somehow I see myself in Ranpo and yearn to be loved in the way that he is by all of his friends.

[marissacooperoc]

i hate you for what you did and i miss you like a little kid

i miss you so much when i overtalk, you know that i talk to much, you know that sometimes i don't know when to stop, you know that i am crazy and i don't think before i talk ever, i just say the first thing that comes in my mind and that's it, i don't know when to stop, i don't know when to stop and now my head is enterring in a spiral and i don't know what to do but blame myself for my actions cause i could just shut the fuck up

i miss you cause if you were here nothing would matter,it was easy cause you were the only one i used to care about, even though it hurt

[sunmoonyandstars]

rant, kind of a vent, but not really???

my wife friend said she's distancing herself from the marauders fandom a little because she wants to write for other fandoms but said I can still send her marauders stuff and yet my fucking brain tells me no it's annoying to keep talking about it so now I feel as though I can't talk about marauders stuff and I need to monitor myself even more than I already do I fucking hate this why can't I be normal about anything she said it would be okay but I don't want to oversend things over overtalk about it and then be a bother and make it harder for her but who will I talk to about it I'm still obsessed I need someone to talk about my interests with freely and at this point I'm ruining this for myself but I can't stop the guilt I feel for mentioning anything about the fandom because I am always anxious about annoying people and I just feel like I am so fucking irritating jesus christ andthe worst thing is she'll probably see this but I need to get this out I can't tell her I don't want pity being pitied is so fucking awful oh my god

[stormoflina]

Hello! It's the talkative anon again, I never seem to catch you when games are going well for Liverpool :/ but anyway looking back at the game yesterday I can say for certain the whole team and klopp greatly underestimated the opponent. I watch a lot of serie a, I like milan a lot along with Liverpool.

So when I saw the lineup and how there wasn't a lot of thought in tactics on the field I knew it was going to be rough. One thing the serie a does well amongst other things is out technical teams as we say yesterday. And when klopp made a joke about only knowing about the food in Italy I cringed, no team at this point should be brushed off and that was clear on the pitch.

I don't know if the magic of klopp's last season wore off but the team looks flat and uninspired and I'm tired of the missed chances. Don't know how many more times I can say that before something clicks. The man u game clearly was not a gut check for this team and someone(s) need to step up and turn things around or no more trophies will be won

I'm really hoping Trent can do something for us but I hate putting everything on one prayer but it's come to that and I know he has that ability

Side note Domi, oh boy. His head is anywhere but in the right place. It's so frustrating to see because he used to be 100% that guy every game and now I'm like well at least he pressed this game and that's not good enough for him. He shouldn't just be a pressing merchant and applauded but that's what it seems like

Anyway long rant over! I hope you have a great day :)

Hii 🫶🏼

Anon, how I wish we could overtalk about more positive things! 😔 But my hope is not lost, I think my headloss about Thursday is officially over - although I'm still sad a bit. Hopefully in a week when we pull another cornertakenquickly or at least just score 3 and keep a clean sheet. 😭 But maybe I'm just being delusional. First they should prove themselves on Sunday, then we can talk about Europa.

You are absolutely right, Atalanta was greatly underestimated and we paid the price for it. I will admit, I'm a bit lost recently what the tactics are supposed to be - we go all out against Sparta when we are already at 5-1, but then we play Kostas who was out for months and this was his first start if I remember correctly. Yes, I know injuries and all, but at this point it's hard not to feel like we are making our own things harder. I didn't watch the pre match interview, and thank god for that, that line is just not it. 😩 It feels so repetitive at this point, acting all cocky and mighty, then faceplanting once the match starts and our opposition actually shows fire and willingness to actually win. We did this against United all this season, hells, even in the Europa earlier.

I'm also so tired that not only do we miss our chances, but recently we have been struggling to adapt when the other teams plays in a different way than previously thought. That's what happened on Thursday, and it was really painful to watch how we could barely even lead a promising attack. And you are 100% right regarding Trent. I fear for him, now everybody is acting like him (and Jota) are singlehandedly going to carry us towards the title. I would love nothing more than that to be true, but it's an awful lot of expectation to put on him after missing months due to injury. Still, if that truly happens, give him the Ballon d'Or next!! And yes, I agree with Domi too. He's just incredibly frustrating to watch at the moment. I have been watching him for a while now - although obviously not this much before - and seeing him play with so little confidence is truly so weird to see. I hope he can pick himself together, he is just as needed for the rest of the season as anyone else. We all need them back, hungry, fired up and ready to do their best.

[walkeddeath]

meta • mental profile :: ADHD  a chunk is under the cut because this ended up being 3 pages. it's not even all i wanted to talk about. ask to tag if i don't tag something !!

　　gen was diagnosed early, at about 6 years old, but only due to her father stepping in and refusing to let it go unchecked. they had been struggling in school to a severe degree, getting into fights, having breakdowns over tiny little things that to her made sense to break down over, and couldn't seem to keep friends if she was even able to make them. her mother fought against it, refused to accommodate it, denied it up until her death.

　　gen has known since she was diagnosed that she has adhd. still, never getting proper or remotely adequate assistance or help made it hard for her to accept that the majority of her "bad" behaviors were related. once she was able to do her own research, she pieced things together, but going through life unmedicated and continuous gaslighting attempts left a considerable impact on how she handles it all. 

　　therapy helps, meds help, but she still struggles day to day. emotional regulation, object permanence, and RSD are the primary things that cause the most issue, she has frequent crying episodes that seem to just come out of nowhere, forgets things constantly even if she's just seen it / interacted with it, and has a hard time dealing with others even begin slightly upset with her/ feeling like she's done something to push someone away. if it gets too intense, she withdraws. she flees.

　　she has rage episodes that are heightened by not just trauma but also her powers. a lot of it is tied to control and losing it. also feeling super overwhelmed / too tired. sometimes it's just because she hasn't eaten that day, or one too many things has happened and she can't handle it.  she will lash out if everything gets to that specific and undefined level of too much, and depending on the situation this can be verbal or sometimes physical.

　　90% of the time, physical reactions are directed at herself. she'll throw things / break things, though this is more a thing when she's younger. she does not use this as an excuse for any hurt or upset she might cause another person, but it is an explanation and a reason. they have been working on this in therapy for around 9 years, ever since her mother died and she was able to get help.

　　ALONG WITH THIS - she has a hard time with remembering dates no matter how important they might be. they forget they need to go to the bathroom, need to eat, need to blink at times. it's all very frustrating to them and they have a hard time letting others help them with all of it. she had to do it all on her own growing up, anytime she did let someone close it was just an inevitable that they would give up. it would get to be too much. so somewhere along the way she just... stopped asking for help. it never felt like anyone could hear her no matter how loud she screamed so, she just decided to save her energy, save herself from the hurt of not being listened to. shut off. 

　　they have their coping skills and some are good some bad, as she gets further into therapy there's an increase in the good and a decrease in the bad, but, some are still there. 

　　they have a tendency to get attached to others, they don't like it, and when things go too well or are too good, she bolts. she's working on this, at least to a degree. it isn't just the attachment but also the need for novelty, for something new that constantly pushes her to running and finding something that can fill a little empty part of her, and it hurts them to do it but they don't know how else to handle it. they do not and will never intentionally want to hurt someone that they love. it just happens sometimes, and she has to deal with the fallout, and it hurts. 

　　her overtalking and overexplaining is both due to the adhd and cptsd, but, it's mostly just how she expresses feeling comfortable. if she's able to just talk without filtering the speed or length at which she talks, it means she feels like she's in a safe space to do so. most of her hyperfixations are things that she won't share unless she's close to a person, they're on the odder side of things, but there are some that are really the only thing she wants to talk about the majority of the time.

　　 they will shove into a conversation at incorrect times, so, they do sometimes have a tendency to not talk. if they don't know how to enter a conversation, they'll avoid it, and if they don't there's a high chance she'll start talking over the other person. she doesn't intend to do this and ends up overapologizing for it.

　　she is not afraid to talk about her struggles and her diagnosis, she encourages others to talk about theirs, but does understand if it's not something someone wants to discuss. they do, from time to time, slip into a doom / rumination mode. it's something that she just has to ride out. all she needs is someone to support that she's having a hard time, not try and fix it all immediately.

　　there's a lot more to it all, but, this is some of the more important big things. i'll talk about the smaller things in another post. 

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 7: the Darkening of Valinor

So Melkor loses his shapeshifting "soon after" he runs away from Valinor (hiding from Tulkas and Orome), but when exactly? I suppose when he empowered Ungoliant. Because later he doesn't disembody or go in spirit form again.

Yes, he takes his big bad form to talk with her— and so he stays. Forever, says the book.

Ungoliant is afraid of Aman and of the Valar. :D

Melkor promises her a lot, with no intent to keep it. I feel like this may have something to do with him being so much nerfed after the situation, unable to take his power back from her (if it would be possible anyway) and almost eaten.

The Valar do like to take CoI-like forms and eat and drink (and celebrate in general I suppose). It is canon.

Feanáro is ordered to come to the party. Huh. why? who thought they had the authority to do it? the book doesn't say, so maybe it was Ingwë, this would make sense and I see why he would think it was a good idea.

Finwë is still upset, and as long as Fefe is banished, he does not want to meet his people. So again, Fingolfin doesn't feel very usurpy to me here.

…and despite being named "Wise", he overtalks Feanáro too. :( This time it doesn't result in Fefe getting upset, but in a badly worded promise.

Ungoliant eats the trees, gets so big and ugly that even Melkor is terrified of her.

Darkness mentioned again!!!

(googling the english text of this part)

The Light failed; but the Darkness that followed was more than loss of light. In that hour was made a Darkness that seemed not lack but a thing with being of its own: for it was indeed made by malice out of Light, and it had power to pierce the eye, and to enter heart and mind, and strangle the very will.

Oh. Darkness that is a thing. No, It *seems* to be a thing. (see: Theodicy and all that.)

I'll have to make a mass analysis of all the capital D Darknesses and how to connect them all (bind? no, we're not gonna do the bindy-bindy) to one concept. But I feel like they should be all facets of one thing concept.

Another thing (a thought for @dfwbwfbbwfbwf especially, I think): It's not "if". It's whenever their deeds started failing too much, Darkness fell upon them and entered heart and mind, and strangled the very will.

I don't think I'll subscribe to this HC, not fully, it makes things too easy, their hand was forced and I don't like their hand being forced.

But partially? This I will subscribe to. They did call upon something, something that seemed to be true, something that seemed to have the power to compel them. I think this reading is very close to Tolkien's intent, because it stinks of "this is how evil works".

Am I portraying Ungoliant as more evil than Melkor?

I think that at least in some aspect I am. Because she feels like something that is not entirely, well, that not entirely *is*. I don't know how to explain it better. And he was a Vala.

Can you stop being? Can you turn from a being to a non-being? I don't think so… I do not subscribe to the "Ungoliant was an uMaia" theory. I don't subscribe to any theory of "Ungoliant was [something that objectively exists]".

Ungoliant as Melkor's (self-inflicted but still real) trauma given a illusion of form by his power? Mmm. I like this one. I don't think it will be popular, but I do like it. (Or: his hatered, his jealousy, something like that, if you prefer. I don't think those are far apart from one another in this case.)

(Why is it easier to me when something evil-evil is not really real? Is it philosophy or my personality issues? Good question. I think there is some philosophy there too.)

Tulkas gets paralyzed by the spider-induced Darkness and Orome gets a "silence" spell on him. So, not only Melkor is defeated by a spider, he's just the most defeated.

[arziaisfrench]

▪︎ IPKKND Ep 2 recap : First prejudice and misunderstanding

" You should've made a mistake looking at your status. "

Such offensive words coming from his mouth but the look in his eyes is strangely soft, he's still at this moment very much captivated by her, his eyes/actions as i said earlier will always betray his thoughts, not his words.

I think Barun Sobti is making a very great job at showing how Arnav is actually still in this moment trying to win over the very strong effect Khushi has has on his character, Arnav.

"- If I don't get there on time, then her marriage might get cancelled - Then, let it get cancelled"

This is how Arnav triggered Khushi for the first time : by denying her sister's access to happiness.

This is what's started her strong prejudice against him. And her reaction is to overtalk in hurry (her anxiety is starting to hit her just after the triggering situation).

"I know girls of your category, if one goes you can have another one"

What Khushi doesn't know yet is that Arnav is misunderstanding her because of his past experiences with women who only approached him for his wealth. He can't trust people easily.

" - You are talking rubbish about my sister ! If someone would said the same thing about your family then? If your sister's mariage got cancelled then?"

Here is the first time Arnav got triggered by Khushi: by making him remember the worst traumatic event of his life.

This is what's started his strong mistrust about her. And his reaction is extreme anger (that anger is almost like a panic attack).

What Arnav doesn't know is that Khushi's family is the only reason she didn't chose to live her life with hatred against the world/god when her parents died.

She feels so grateful of them for taking care of her, even if they don't always treat her as "real" family. She'll fight anyone who insult her them !!

What's really interesting (the writing is honestly incredible) is that from the first meeting and after those strong exchanges of deep stares which seem to open up on their true selves and vulnerabilities, they already knows inconsciously how to hurt each other, as if they recognize a same pain in each other eyes (barun and sanaya eyes are incredibly expressive) !

" I haven't started misbehaving. "

Arnav clearly is insinuating a se×ual harassment to scare her even if he's only pretending to push her away. The first big flaw of this series for me was this scene, so disgusting and frankly so unecessary. YIKES.

Arnav's unexpected attraction for khushi's hair begins here lol

The dude is already in awe of her beauty, his lost gaze is only the testimony of his mind trapped by his own captivation and his strong attraction towards her ! 😏

[aroace-number-eight]

I was thinking over my personal frustrations that have been going on lately about being in the fandom as opposed to being so excited and gung-ho about LL for years, ESPECIALLY when I took several months long hiatuses from posting, and I realized

It was because I was talking to people in the fandom almost every day, about the book series or not, developed strong connections with these people, maintained them, and looked forward to something every day because there was something worth getting excited over

I was in Discord servers and Instagram chats with tons of Lorien Legacies fans who I talked to often, and it was a blast (amid occasional issues, but that's a given in small communities anyhow). I could go into a couple weeks long conversations talking about ships, and then go into another week long conversation and anime that me and someone else in the fandom like, and then back to LL

Despite my constant hiatuses and how many times I was taking breaks from making fanart or engaging in the fandom, I had friends in tight circles and we talked often and we had a lot of interests that go beyond LL because we just knew each other. We had inside jokes, we shared memes, we delved into different interests and got to infodump about them all the time

And now all of that is just.. gone.

Idk, I've been feeling less and less engaged in Lorien Legacies, but in a social kind of way. I love to write stuff for myself and make notes on the books and analyze all the neat stuff I find, but I dunno who to share that with. I feel like I'm overtalking about the books with one or two people and it's the only conversation starter I can think of, and everyone else I talk to, I do not know well enough, we're too busy to have long conversations, or it's gotten to the point where we're running out of Lorien Legacies stuff to say so we just don't talk at all.

And that's kind of the opposite of a fandom, at least in my eyes? I talked about this place being a very tight knit community because everyone knows each other, and that may be the case for some of you guys who regularly talk to other people in the fandom about LL or another shared interest like other books, anime, video games, memes, or other stuff. I feel like I'm starting to be a stranger to this place again, though. Everyone's a stranger, I don't even know who you all are outside of "Lorien Legacies fan," and every conversation I have with someone is surface level small talk. Sometimes something interesting happens, and I get a laugh or two out of it, or something exciting happens. That's it.

I was especially excited because the 13yearsoflorien project also has monthly event discord calls for people to join for this EXACT REASON: to hang out with others, get to know each other, laugh and stuff, actually bond with people and develop some sort of connection so we traverse that barrier that makes everyone a stranger to one another. But, people are busy (whether it's school or work), live in different time zones, or are not aware of the call, so it's very few people getting on and playing a couple games. I'm trying to fix the time zone thing to make sure people are able to attend, but people still get busy and cannot attend the events, or don't know it's happening in the first place

I really want to return to that initial spark of social engagement that forges bonds and makes friends and makes this fandom as close knit as it was when I first got here? Maybe I'm looking at this from the wrong angle, maybe we no longer have that ability to hang out as much, I don't know. But I do know I'm having less fun here, and every piece of fanart I make feels more like tedious work than anything passionate I'm excited to share with others (not anyone's fault I feel that way btw)

[nancydrewwouldnever]

Random Plea for Advice. I've recently started dating again, and I hate it.

How do connect with new people when they are either talking so much that you can never speak, or they don't offer any conversation that you run out of things to say?

Wow, I'm probably not the best person to ask about this, but hopefully some others will have better advice.

I've always found that having a neutral thing to do on a date - like miniature golf, darts, billiards, any activity like that - really helps regulate the conversation. Like, you can talk about the activity at a regular pace if things get into a lull, or it also helps shut up an overtalker, because they'll concentrate on the activity, and then maybe you can talk about yourself a little.

However, if a person isn't letting you say anything on the first date, that usually doesn't get better. You want a person who knows how to listen as well as talk.

[darkhalo4321]

I've spent a good chunk of my life going with the flow of others and not thinking too deeply for my own reasons. I typically put my emotions on the back burner because me having emotions was often seen as a point to bully me or it was inconvenient for the time. Lately, i have been more forceful and vocal.

Sure, I can't debate on the spot, but give me time to process and I will come back prepared. I will think about it and give a better answer.

I came to a realization yesterday that the reason I get so upset when people assume how i am feeling is because it misguides me and then i don't get to figure out what i am feeling or truly embrace it. I get told something that wedges things apart. I will forever be haunted by my mother saying "you need this because you're vunerable" when i expressed i liked a boy. Yeah, my dad was dying, but this crush was developing before i even knew my dad was getting worse.

Anyway... because of that statement, which i am sure came from a place of concern, a wedge formed doubt in me. What if i don't like him? what if im trying to run awaybfrom things? what if, what if, what if... it makes it feel as though my feelings are shallow?

So, yeah. I am really serious about this boy and he's VERY serious about me. I have never had someone be so head over heels and reassuring before. Any anxiety i have is washed away and he communicates and takes actions and respects my boundaries. He is a goofy goober. Watches similar content. Gets my quotes, also quotes. We have similiar tastes but also different ones as well. He is fantastic! My mood talking to him improves. I ache with the thought of wanting to be next to him forever. Its super weird how comfortable i feel with him. I dont normally feel cozy with people like this. I can trust that this feeling is real.

I am tired. I need to be an adult that doesnt live at home anymore. Or with family. I need to get out so i can be my own person and be able to properly assess how i feel. Something my boyfriend is willing to understand. There is something about me trying to set a boundary and it being crossed and my boss pointinf out that he understands why i am sharp because if i am not i get overtalked that makes me have to find my voice and take action.

Okay rant over. I feel better having typed that out.

(Ps i love my mom. She is most likely trying to be helpful. She is a finicky woman and the more stories she shares about HER mom it helpsnme understand the dynamic and why she is the way she is. I can have compassion and empathy for that. I don't have to let that run my life or affect my decisions. )

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Can I please have an Attack on Titan,Genshin Impact and Bungo Stray Dogs matchup? I’m a straight female, 20, introverted, an ISFJ and an Aquarius. I have brown wavy hair and blue eyes. Im a loyal, empathetic, quiet, shy and friendly person. I love to joke around and laugh. I’m sarcastic and make friendly comebacks to my friends’ banter. I’m insecure abt myself and struggle to acknowledge my achievements, often downplaying them and comparing myself to others. Im a good listener and have been told that I’m good with advice and comforting other people. I’d like people to listen to me too but I find it hard to voice my concerns or problems to my friends. I can be overtalked in group settings too due to my quiet nature around larger groups. I’m chattier around less people/people I’m comfortable with. I’m very accepting and laidback and always eager to learn. I can get quite anxious before social situations due to my shyness, but once I’m in conversation I’m fine. I’m doing a course that’ll lead a career in rehabilitative healthcare. Likes: Reading, Drawing, Chatting, Going on walks & Singing. Dislikes: Spicy food, the dark, bugs, especially wasps. Thanks xx

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Attack on Titan, I match you with...

Jean is nothing if not loyal, especially to those he cares about. It's also something he looks for in a partner so he's very grateful that you're so loyal as well.

Since you struggles to acknowledge your achievements, expect to have your own personal cheer squad whenever you need it. Jean will call Connie and Sasha in and they'll do their best to make sure you see all the best parts of you.

I see Jean as someone who really likes chatting, especially with someone he likes. He's a good balance of a talker and a listener so the conversation flows easily.

Will get rid of any and all bugs for you. It makes him feel like a protector, even if he knows you don't need one. But if the bug's too big he'll close the door first. No need for you to see him dodging away from the bug when it makes a sudden move.

Please sing for him. He loves the domesticity of it and will hum along if he knows the song. It's a nice memory for both of you.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

I see Chongyun as someone who struggles with insecurity as well. If you're willing to show him support when he needs it, he would more than happily do the same for you in return.

He admires your ability to give good advice. He struggles with understanding a problem enough to find a suitable solution so he thinks yours is a good quality to have.

Loves going on walks with you. Wherever you want to go, he's happy with as long as it's reasonably safe and you can be together.

Since you can sometimes be talked over, Chongyun will do his best to make sure he listens carefully to anything you have to say. He values your opinion and wants you to know that.

Definitely with you on disliking spicy food. On the plus side, at least he knows the best places around town to get a flavourful but non-spicy meal together.

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

Atsushi loves that you're so laidback! It's a really nice change from everyone he has to work with on a daily basis and it let's him unwind a bit as well.

He's really appreciative that you're a good listener. He's usually the listener in most conversations so talking to you gives him a chance to get a lot of things off his chest.

Atsushi definitely understands struggling to voice your problems so he'll do his best to identify any problems before you have to say something about them. He's pretty observant but might need some help at times.

He really loves reading with you. Whatever you're reading, he'll either read over your shoulder or pick up a copy of his own so you can talk about it together. He'd also love it if you read aloud to him but won't force anything.

He also really likes watching you draw (assuming of course that you're okay with that). Atsushi enjoys seeing the process from start to finish and observing the piece come together. He finds it relaxing.

[sincelastsession]

It hurt to hear from my mom today that my dad only wants to know if there's something wrong with my heart and told my mom to tell me that he doesn't want to talk to me or know anything about me other than that.

You know I was polite and tried. He got terribly abusive, I had a pretty nasty reaction to what he said over the call. I showed you because I wanted to be honest.

I don't like that he makes himself look innocent of literal crimes and abuse towards me and flips out so hard-core at me to the point I have these reactions and compulsory issues.

I spoke to my mom about a few things. She wants me to work on being more positive and various things like coping mechanisms.

I did explain to her right now it's extremely hard to be what she wishes to see because my brain feels broken.

Everyone seems to think since I was in Regions is when my overtalking started. Mom as a psych nurse thinks it's the trauma I went through and possibly a medication they put me on and how they ripped me off a benzo cold turkey. It was super traumatic and I was flinging my arms and legs and couldn't control anything and felt like I was having waking seizures and I had to go to a neuromuscular doctor about it but they couldn't figure it out. Then my dad attacked me and threatened me a ton then there was covid and a car wreck that gave me a concussion and I still have one pupil that gets bigger than the other because oschner's er failed to check me and she had to bring me back. I've had some memory issues worse since that all right before covid dunno if my brain is actually damaged but I'm guessing to some degree it is. Sometimes I think it might be a petuitary issue or adrenal or cortisol and dopamine imbalance. I've really never had a Doctor that wanted to look very far into it or explain it in a manner in which I could understand because believe it or not even though I have a special interest in medical I actually look at medical things less than I used to because going to the Doctor is very exhausting and I've had to go so much in the past 5 years that other than making sure that my Doctor is not misdiagnosing me I don't want to look at anything. I mean unless of course it's a new thing that's fascinating like that crazy new sexually transmitted fungal infection that's like ringworm from hell or something. That was a wild read.

Anyway I saw Robin and she's the one that mentioned Regions to my dad and she threatened to put me somewhere because she didn't like that I was on anxiety meds and used to work for the olol cope team.

Just because I can sometimes speak well doesn't mean that I'm not having a tremendous amount of anxiety.

My grandmother was on Valium her entire life and would leave the house to go shopping and drive around and she had very bad anxiety and apparently my grandfather abused her and she ended up saving her meds and drinking a bunch of wine.

My mother had caught her once before trying to kill herself.

Everyone says I'm like her but the only things I see that are the same is our body build, some of her taste, her anxiety issues, and that's about it.

My other grandmother on the maternal side had a head injury when she was young but she was still incredibly smart. She was an art teacher. I have her sense of humor which was kinda mean and dark. I know she took meds for anxiety but no one else remembers it. She likely had EDS like I have hypermobility eds. You can tell by the way skin ages and collegen.

Both my grandmothers were art teachers. Different ability though. One made it her life the other didn't.

I don't know very much about my father's family because they were very secretive. They still are.

Both of my grandfather's worked with cattle one had a dairy farm for a short period of time then he went into a state job selling insurance I believe and my other grandfather I believe did door-to-door sales then he did time clocks and then he also did black Angus cattle for meat.

My mom's father is the one who drunkenly molested and did things to me.

That was excused by everybody and I was made to feel like I was making it up when I tried to bring it up to begin with and my mom does not remember me bringing it up to begin with and my grandmother was angry but did not do anything. And it was forgotten about until I remembered in my 20s. And then both of my grandparents died on my mom's side my grandmother first followed by my grandfather.

And my dad's mom died first and they claimed it was a heart attack even though it was very obvious she killed herself and nobody wants to talk about that because everybody wanted to claim insurance money. And then his father actually died in a nursing home completely neglected and I didn't know that nobody was helping him and he was doing bad or I would've been there myself if I had been asked. He got dementia pretty damn bad before he passed away and he had a pretty bad temper and he had hearing issues and my dad is very similar but my grandfather on my dad's side was never awful to me he was a good grandfather he was an alcoholic but he did not leave his office or yell or act out when I was there. He would just put alcohol in his coffee or take nips from a flask and I was little and didn't know what he was doing.

He had an odd fascination with lighting candles and then carving them down while they were lit and I have the table that he used to use and do that on and it was just a weird thing he did

He owned a hunting camp in saint francisville and some other property and when he passed away everybody wanted to sell it and it broke my heart because I could have had some land to put a house on and live in peace. But it wasn't my choice because I was not his child.

I have to say that my grandparents raised me about 2/3 of the way in my life. My parents would be working and so they would watch me when I was sick and not doing well. So at a young age I was mostly around adults constantly doctors and my grandparents and I didn't really have too many childhood friends because everybody thought I was weird and the only childhood friend that I had was Kelley.

And Kelly developed drug addiction over time and it consumed her and she got better and then she and I were going to meet up I had planned to go over there because I was ready to be her friend again because I was tired of the lying before and she happened to overdose the day I decided I was going to go see her and my mom had to Let me know that she was dead.

And I did not realize that I was in love with her until after she was dead. I wasn't in love with her since I was a little kid. And I have never told my parents that. And I never told her that. I just remember thinking that she was the most beautiful girl on earth and I knew that I wasn't supposed to think that and I was maybe a first grader when I first got a crush on her and I just I think I talked about it to somebody at some point and they said well you just happened to really love your friend and then after that I was like oh that's just you just love your friends and It's not I'm in love with her and I thought I misunderstood for years and it was only after she passed away that I realized that it wasNot just because she was my friend.

I can't go visit her kids because they look like copies of her and they don't even know who I am.

And then the other love of my life died. He had both parents pass away and he moved to Hawaii to be with a childhood sweetheart who inevitably dumped him and he was found floating out in the ocean about a mile out 1 day and that's how he died he died of drowning.

And they weren't people that understood me and people that understood me and people that understood how bad my home life was

Cole used to tell me that I needed to run away from my parents before they ended up hurting me and I couland they did hurt me a lot

Kelly used to come and pick me up and smoke me out and drive around for a few hours and drop me back at home when my parents had gone to sleep just so I could escape the house because she knew how bad it was.

I don't hate you Joshua. I've been very mean and even if you don't care I'm still sorry if I've hurt your feelings.

I don't expect you to understand me fully.

I did realize I was triggered today because of how my dad has done this before and I was scared you wouldn't see through the Oscar winning performance he put on. He manipulated Robin into believing many things about me were and weren't true. He is a big part of the reason I lost my shit and then was pressured into going into Regions where Dr. Khan and his staff broke HIPPA and ruined me.

I was not doing well but I was not doing this bad before I went and Covid started. I was going to sue them all. I needed assistance and I was blown off. They wouldn't release my files to me or Dr. Todd. He told me he had many patients he had to fix due to Dr. Khan's negligence and urged me to sue. I should have never been given Geodon. They never got in touch with Dr. Todd or the pharmacy. I was traumatized by other patients there. I watched the staff abuse and ignore patients. I was forced to watch a Ted talk with a detailed story of child abuse along with other patients especially one with DID who was at the time her child alter. I got told I was going to be raped by a criminally insane man. They did NOTHING about it. Patients that had been there a while very obviously sedated told me about how one guy would expose himself and start to assault patients. I was followed around by a schizophrenic patient that was paranoid I was an agent and since I have a mustache and beard that grows and couldn't shave that I was called really inappropriate things until I finally had enough and blasted him and asked the fishbowl why the fuck he wasn't on an antipsychotic. They brought me where I could see patient files and information into the fishbowl. I read those things out loud that were visible to me and asked them if they knew what HIPPA was.

I showed you my reaction to Dad's abuse because I couldn't record the call and the things he's said to me and I am trying to be transparent and trust you to understand that I don't just sit there and think out things to hurt him. It happens fast. I'm in a compulsive flashed out type state.

I should not have said anything.

I just wanted to talk to my dad. He was so awful to me. He can't speak to me and doesn't want to because he got his feelings hurt after attacking me.

I was just tryna tell him about the farmer's market, the neighbors, and fill him in on things he missed. I didn't do anything right. I didn't speak right. I was full of shit. I couldn't get to the point fast enough. He told me he didn't care. He told me to shut up. He flipped out when I asked him a question that he misread as smartass. He hung up then called back telling me I had to follow his rules but then tried to tell me I should know his rules. Nothing he said made sense. He said my repeating triggered him. I repeated because he kept knocking my thought process off track telling me to shut up or get to the point or "when is this going to be over" Then when I asked him to stop and told him he was being inappropriate and rude to me and told him it was not ok to treat me like this and threaten me he threatened me again and I asked him what his diagnosis was because hed said he had the same diagnosis as me and I have several so i wanted to know if it was all of them or one and then told him he should seek help for it if it was causing him to act out and treat me like shit he thought i was being a smartass and screamed fuck you over and over till I hung up.

He will hang up on me for much less. If I say hello and don't remember to say "how are you" or if I am holding my breath as I do because of anxiety and make a huff noise breathing he has hung up...he gets me worked up then hangs up then calls back or waits till I do because it hits the abandonment rejection wound among other things and I just don't lie down anymore and let him treat me like shit dude. Even when I "complied" he was still trying to groom me into his ideal of a perfect daughter and poison me against my mother.

They've both tried to get me to take sides and at times said if I didn't I could rot with mh dumb bitch mother. I have it told her that he plans to put a lean on her house so she can't force sell the house he's trying to fix up and sell now because I didn't want him to sell it and neither did my sister awhile back and I still don't want either of them to sell it but he swore me to secrecy about him putting a lean on her house to just fuck her over

I was treated like I had to pick aside since I was a tiny child. They used me as a weapon against one another. They still try to do it.

I never wanted to pick a side I just wanted to be a kid

I don't feel like I ever got to be a kid.