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#and his trauma-spider
eri-pl · 8 days
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Silm reread 7: the Darkening of Valinor
So Melkor loses his shapeshifting "soon after" he runs away from Valinor (hiding from Tulkas and Orome), but when exactly? I suppose when he empowered Ungoliant. Because later he doesn't disembody or go in spirit form again.
Yes, he takes his big bad form to talk with her— and so he stays. Forever, says the book.
Ungoliant is afraid of Aman and of the Valar. :D
Melkor promises her a lot, with no intent to keep it. I feel like this may have something to do with him being so much nerfed after the situation, unable to take his power back from her (if it would be possible anyway) and almost eaten.
The Valar do like to take CoI-like forms and eat and drink (and celebrate in general I suppose). It is canon.
Feanáro is ordered to come to the party. Huh. why? who thought they had the authority to do it? the book doesn't say, so maybe it was Ingwë, this would make sense and I see why he would think it was a good idea.
Finwë is still upset, and as long as Fefe is banished, he does not want to meet his people. So again, Fingolfin doesn't feel very usurpy to me here.
…and despite being named "Wise", he overtalks Feanáro too. :( This time it doesn't result in Fefe getting upset, but in a badly worded promise.
Ungoliant eats the trees, gets so big and ugly that even Melkor is terrified of her.
Darkness mentioned again!!!
(googling the english text of this part)
The Light failed; but the Darkness that followed was more than loss of light. In that hour was made a Darkness that seemed not lack but a thing with being of its own: for it was indeed made by malice out of Light, and it had power to pierce the eye, and to enter heart and mind, and strangle the very will.
Oh. Darkness that is a thing. No, It *seems* to be a thing. (see: Theodicy and all that.)
I'll have to make a mass analysis of all the capital D Darknesses and how to connect them all (bind? no, we're not gonna do the bindy-bindy) to one concept. But I feel like they should be all facets of one thing concept.
Another thing (a thought for @dfwbwfbbwfbwf especially, I think): It's not "if". It's whenever their deeds started failing too much, Darkness fell upon them and entered heart and mind, and strangled the very will.
I don't think I'll subscribe to this HC, not fully, it makes things too easy, their hand was forced and I don't like their hand being forced.
But partially? This I will subscribe to. They did call upon something, something that seemed to be true, something that seemed to have the power to compel them. I think this reading is very close to Tolkien's intent, because it stinks of "this is how evil works".
Am I portraying Ungoliant as more evil than Melkor?
I think that at least in some aspect I am. Because she feels like something that is not entirely, well, that not entirely *is*. I don't know how to explain it better. And he was a Vala.
Can you stop being? Can you turn from a being to a non-being? I don't think so… I do not subscribe to the "Ungoliant was an uMaia" theory. I don't subscribe to any theory of "Ungoliant was [something that objectively exists]".
Ungoliant as Melkor's (self-inflicted but still real) trauma given a illusion of form by his power? Mmm. I like this one. I don't think it will be popular, but I do like it. (Or: his hatered, his jealousy, something like that, if you prefer. I don't think those are far apart from one another in this case.)
(Why is it easier to me when something evil-evil is not really real? Is it philosophy or my personality issues? Good question. I think there is some philosophy there too.)
Tulkas gets paralyzed by the spider-induced Darkness and Orome gets a "silence" spell on him. So, not only Melkor is defeated by a spider, he's just the most defeated.
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jasminebythebay · 1 year
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what could have been
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i was making myself sad by watching a clip of peter parker dying when the implications of insomniac peter parker being in atsv hit me. insomniac's Spiderman is one of the few times Peter actually lives to see Miles becomes Spiderman, so you can imagine how seeing a version of himself actually get a chance to know the peter parker of his world might shake up some Feelings™ (read: guilt, jealousy, awe)
don't get me wrong, Miles has clearly stepped into his role as Spiderman fantastically and loves having Peter B Parker as a mentor, but i wouldn't be surprised if he was a little jealous of insomniac miles getting peter's constant presence and support instead of just a week's worth
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bread-wizards · 1 month
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I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.
Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.
The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.
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poppy-s-rampage · 29 days
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Once a Hero.
-Prologue-
Danny Phantom fought with the knowledge that at any given time he could be stricken dead. With the knowledge that his own parents, the people who brought him into this world, could be the ones to take him out permanently. The Job was already half done after all.
But no matter what, no matter his adversaries, Danny held strong. Despite the constant threat of the GIW and his parents, despites his rogues’ shenanigans and Vlad’s scheming, despite the citizen’s ungratefulness, he held his ground. Always staying true to his beliefs.
Yes, he made mistakes ,terrible ones. Yes, he has done things he would forever be ashamed of. But he never let others take responsibility for his actions. The very proof being his existence as Phantom.
There is no denying it, Danny Phantom/Fenton is a hero.
An existence to whom every victory comes hand to hand with tragedy.
An existence favored by fate.
And fate is known to be a cruel mistress.
~~~
He should have known something was up. It was too good to be true. He should have trusted his instinct. But he ignored it, choosing hope instead of the very thing that kept him alive all these years. All it took was one mistake for everything to domino into a nuclear warhead that quite literally took his everything.
And now, there he is on all four in the middle of a crater of what once was Amity Park and its surroundings. His ears ringing only able to hear the sounds of his own screams.
The once menace, once protector of a city too soon departed wailed in agony. Clutching at his wounds with a strength that reopened his sloppily made stitches. His devastated wails, only interrupted by his sobbed breath and hiccups. His throat was ripped to shreds, tainted ectoplasm pooling into his mouth and lungs while some got projected out with each wail.
Rivers of tears cascaded down his face burning his already bloodshot eyes. His unstable form glitching from ghost to human to something in between.
His once healthy balanced core was now struggling to remain whole. Cracks appearing all over, life and death fighting to preserve their precious Halfa’s existence. Danny felt his body and core beginning to give out. His consciousness finally fading. His body slowly being engulfed into the cold familiar embrace of death.
He fell on his back. His wails dying to choked wet sobs and coughs. Through his tears, Danny could only vaguely see the smoke covered nightsky. Ash falling slowly around him like snowflakes.
He could feel the cold creeping up his limbs then gripping his chest. His already dying heart being embraced by a type of cold even his core couldn’t dream to reproduce. Phantom finally fell silent, his unseeing eyes staring at the starless sky above.
Danny in his last few coherent thoughts felt the pain of his core shattering and reforming itself. It felt like his entire being was set on fire before being melded back together. He felt familiar arms cradling him close to their unbeating heart. The familiar ticking of a clock luring him into a dreamless rest.
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Masterpost!
Chapter 1!
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Author notes:
My brain vomiting this at 3 am. I am sorry for any catastrophic grammar and english, that would be my brain short circuiting from lack of sleep. I intend to hopefully continue this story wherever it may go. You’re welcome to suggest anything or add yourself something to it.
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inamindfarfaraway · 6 months
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I love how Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse said “Anyone can be Spider-Man”. I love how it inspired everyone to imagine their own Spider-People, saving the day in their own universes, with all kinds of cool, interesting personalities and aesthetics and mutations and life stories and relationships. We all put pieces of our soul into these homemade heroes. We had fun. We found community. And then Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse said, “Wow, great job! You’ve really taken our message to heart. Well, get ready for even more of everything you liked from the first movie and a new message to complement the first. Anyone can be Spider-Man… and anyone can be pulled into a cult.”
So now we all have to contemplate whether our lovingly crafted heroes would ever be on Team Mandatory Trauma Because Martyr Complex or not and why.
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tartarusknight · 2 years
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Eddie was normally a very chill guy. He worked as a tattoo artist and DMed for a group of DnD players every other week. Sure, some people took one look at him and thought he was scary or at least intimidating, but he wasn't. Honestly, he should not be scary in the slightest. He was vegan because he felt bad for the animals. He constantly cried over nothing because he was an emotional guy. Plus, he was a complete mess for a pretty boy.
Sadly, there was a pretty boy who lived in the apartment across from him. Pretty boy had to deal with Eddie's panicked laughter at their interactions just because Eddie couldn't operate when he got a crush. Specifically around said Crush.
So even though he had a very eligible bachelor right across the hall, he didn't do a single thing. It was sad l, really. Gareth constantly made fun of him for it, but Eddie wanted to just pine in peace. Thank you very much. Plus, Pretty Boy was pretty stand off-shore and quiet, so Eddie figured he didn't really have a shot.
And pining from afar went really well... for a while. Until one day, Eddie's in the shower. He's about done when he spots the creepiest motherfucker he's ever seen. A spider about the size of his hand, and it was crawling towards him. The shriek he let out was high and so fucking loud he was sure glass would break. But he couldn't stop it.
Then he hears a loud bang. But he can move from where he's watching the fucking spider. Although he does look away when his bathroom door slams open. And in comes hot neighbor with a baseball bat like that was normal. He was covered in a thin layer of sweat and liked like he was working out when Eddie screamed.
"Who hurt you?" Pretty boy asked, snapping Eddie out of his daze. He stumbles backward, then freaks out and jumps the other way because he moves towards the spider. Pretty boy seemed to notice the spider then, and he moved forward and smashed it under his foot. Then he picked up a towel and gently wrapped it around him and gently helped Eddie out of the shower.
He grabbed another towel before he led Eddie to his bedroom like he had been here before. He picked up a pair of boxers, shirt, and flannel pants as Eddie was just frozen in shock. He padded Eddie down with the extra towel before slipping on his shirt and then finally stepping out of his space. "You should get dressed," he nodded and Eddie blinked.
He didn't move to leave for a second before his fave flushed, and he basically ran out of the room. And Eddie's sure that's it. He'd come out of his room and pretty boy would be gone. But when he did exit his room pretty boy was looking at some pictures like he was just waiting patiently. He noticed Eddie and nodded, "cool, your sleeping at mine. It's not safe here." He states and Eddie is so fucking confused right now.
"Uh- I uh think you killed the spider dude." He points out and watches red cover pretty boy's face.
He coughs, "Um, yeah. But I also broke down your door, so..." And sure enough, when Eddie looks over, his door is on the floor like a battering ram took it out.
"Oh," he mutters, and pretty boy does look sorry.
"Don't worry, I've got a nice spare bed room." He nods and picks up the baseball bat and guides Eddie out of his apartment and straight into his own.
All Eddie can think is what the fuck.
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demigod-of-the-agni · 10 months
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A little special something for something even more special. Hint: it's about love and fears and birthdays and new beginnings
(@/marvel hire me <3)
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torukmaktoskxawng · 10 months
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Keep scrolling if you blame Spider
Spider, who is literally still a child by human standards.
Spider, who never gave away Jake's or the Omatikaya's location.
Spider, who cares about the Sullys' safety over his own.
Spider, who didn't want any blood on his hands or a guilty conscience if he left someone to die.
Spider, who just didn't want anyone else to get hurt.
Spider, who never betrayed the Na'vi (unlike Jake but hey, who's counting that, right?)
Spider, who had to fend for himself to survive the toughest events because he didn't have an adult who would tear the world apart for him like the Sully children do.
Spider, who loves Pandora and Eywa.
Spider, who just wanted to be one of Her children because he never knew what it was like for a mother to love him.
Spider, who probably understands Eywa's whole "balance of life" meaning more than others.
Spider, who already lost Neteyam but he couldn't afford to lose anyone else in his life, no matter how terrible they are as a person.
Spider, who helped Jake save Kiri and Tuk when everyone else was still too shocked to move.
Spider, who chose mercy over violence/death.
Spider, who did what he could to survive (I'd like to see how YOU would react under such pressure. It all seems obvious and easy watching from the other side of the screen, right?)
Spider, who was likely being misled, brainwashed, and gaslit by the Recoms.
Spider, who is clearly a victim but hey, let's blame him for simply being a decent human being, right?
Spider, who likely thought he owed Quaritch after he saved him from being tortured.
Spider, who likely thought he owed Quaritch for giving him life.
Spider, who just wanted a father who was proud of him.
Spider, who has been clearly neglected by the heroes (Jake and Neytiri) but doesn't openly or verbally blame them.
Spider, who doesn't purposely threaten children's lives like Quaritch and Neytiri do.
Spider, who just wanted to be one of the People.
Spider, who wouldn't have made those difficult choices had he been properly loved and raised.
Spider, who is as easy to blame as Lo'ak for endangering the people they love (but again, no one's counting, right?)
Spider, who is clearly not a villain, just misunderstood.
Spider, who wasn't raised by the village but didn't burn it down to feel its warmth because he's not petty, not vindictive, not evil, and not a killer.
Spider, who is. A. Child.
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Today I was thinking about Spider getting taken in by the Sully's, getting adopted, feeling like he got everything he ever wanted and was as happy as he could be but still feeling like. It's not enough. Like he was missing time, like he's always making up for missed time with them. He can't ever have those years without them back, and no amount of time forward will make up for the past. No one else gets it, why sometimes he'd just rather stay home and weave baskets with Neytiri and Tuk, or just follow Jake around when he goes to boring meetings, instead or going out and having fun with his friends. Emotionally he's years behind.
The person who is the closest to getting it is Tuk. Sometimes Tuk just wants to sit in someone's lap while she plays, because she's little and sometimes she needs to be cuddled by her mom. Some days Spider literally can't let one of them out of his sight or something catastrophic will happen. Emotionally he needs a cuddle.
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sciderman · 6 months
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
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peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
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it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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Back to the Spiderman au I have where Peter has radioactive venom and accidentally bites Miles when the kid is trying to help him, and because he’s so full of guilt at accidentally doing this to the kid (especially in one of those universes where people absolutely hate the x-men and stuff, being mutated might ruin that person’s life), he takes him under his wing to teach him everything about his new powers and before he knows it, Miles is working alongside him as a new hero
For that au, I’m now thinking about that version of Peter trying to rescue Gwen, and in the end the only thing that can help her is for her to be turned, so he shares his venom, and to Peter it’s this incredibly horrible event where he’s dragged another person into this life of being mutated, but Miles, who is next to him and has never once been unhappy about gaining powers, is like “welcome to the web warriors!!! you’re one of us now!!! :D”
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naavispider · 9 months
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What would Quaritch’s reaction be to Spider assuming he’s just as bad as him because he took a human life (in self-defence)
Somehow, Quaritch dragged himself closer to Cupcake. Spider was numb to anything else that happened. He made his choice, now he had to live with it.
"Let's move out-" Quaritch croaked through damaged lungs.
"You're serious?" Spider stated, unmoving. The ocean rushed up behind him in a wave that crashed down over his shins. He grounded himself in the sensation.
Quaritch gazed at him for a long moment, confusion combining with impatience on his face. Suddenly, he just looked unsure. "Get on."
It was supposed to be an order. But Spider knew Quaritch well enough by now to hear how the authority failed in his voice. He smirked, taking a step back. All he knew was that he needed to find the Sullys.
"Spider-"
Overwhelmed by the stupidity of his father's beliefs, Spider stopped just before he was about to jump into the ocean. "You think I wanna be around you?" he asked, frowning even as his disbelieving smirk spread. "You think we belong together? You're a monster..."
"So are you!" His father's retort cut deep.
Spider took a step back.
His father continued. "You wrecked that ship. All those men... and women. Dead because you drowned them. We're not different. It's war."
"No, we're not different," Spider agreed quietly. "You believe in Hell, right? I guess I'll see you there."
With that, Spider turned his back to the struggling recom and dived as far as he could from the rock.
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yourbustedkneecaps · 20 days
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age swap au fic where everything is the same except that peter/spidey’s group switches with tony/iron man’s.
peter takes tony’s place. mj takes pepper’s. ned takes rhodey’s etc etc. “i am spider-man” press conference, tony sneaking out as iron man/becoming peter’s intern, may helping run the company, howard being a dick/owning a small business or smth — you get the gist
iron son and spider-dad i guess? tony (not lacking in intelligence) wanting to be as kind as peter and terrified of losing another good father figure in his life. peter “oh my fucking god kid if you’re not gonna stop at least let me show you the ropes” parker meeting tony during an expo/tour.
i want to see teen tony in high school desperately trying to be normal with his dad on his back about MIT and his tiny business or something. i want to see adult peter running a company with his besties and being loved as spider-man and trying so hard to help out some traumatized and angry kid in a rocket powered tin can.
this has tv show vibes to me in the best way
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gammija · 2 years
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web avatar martin first time meeting a jarchivist, colorized
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onejellyfishplease · 1 year
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Why is Donnie suddenly a mystic spider? What did I miss?
listen, Donnie has a bad habit of just turning into other animals on this blog
its best we dont call him out on it
... we dont want another Mosquitello situation
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agirlking · 1 year
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“The Sullys didn’t owe Spider anything, they didn’t adopt him.” It is basic decency to not leave a child with the murderers that kidnapped him. Much less a child you knew since infancy, much less a child who at least two of your children love like he’s their own brother.
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