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motherloads · 1 year ago

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Meet Me in the Pale Moonlight

Disclaimer: I absolutely love Jenny in the film! Too bad I like writing miscommunication. No bashing of Jenny!

The reader was supposed to be brooding and menacing? But she’s a wreck with a symbiote lol.

My spanish is also pretty meh in writing despite being Mexican myself. I speak better than I write! Pls keep that in mind ◡̈

Summary: The reader watches on the sidelines as Jenny and her longtime crush, Jaime Reyes become close to one another. Being Milagro's closest friend, she dreads when she has to come over and see the lovebirds.

But who says her little friend would allow this to happen? And who says what she sees is true?

->Pairings: Jaime Reyes x F!Reader

-> Use of (Name).

-> Marvel/DC crossover (mentioned Eddie Brock, Peter Parker, and relations to other fic)

->Warning: So much miscommunication, murder talk, and spinal cord removal :(

Once again, please ignore grammar mistakes.

⋆｡°✩

I'm the sweetest girl in town so why are you so mean? When you gonna ditch that stupid, you got? It's me you should be seeing.

"Are you just going to continue to stare?" Milagro questions her close friend, who stares at her brother with a pair of love-sick eyes. "Dude, just go talk to him."

"Can't really do that," Her friend hums in response, "Look, Kord is walking over to him. Now he's going to have the brightest smile ever and then they'll hug Then she's going to pat him on the back and start helping him with your house remodel. Look! They're doing it!"

Exactly at that point, Jaime laughs as Jenny pushes him over, grabbing the paintbrush on her own and assisting him with the cream-colored outer walls. Jaime shakes his head in response, nudging her back.

"So what? I'm his sister, and what I can tell you is that they are NOT together. They're just really good friends!" Milagro explains, quieting down when Jaime looks over. "Come on, clear it up. I don't want to see my best friend so sad."

"I'm grieving," She pouts, lowering herself into the chair, "You don't see what I see. They are definitely together."

"Si no lo preguntas, nunca vas a saber," Another voice exclaims. Both girls turn their heads to her mother who shakes her head at them. "Don't be shy! I don't want my future daughter-in-law to lose her chance."

Feeling her face heat up, she looks away from the older woman's words. "I know he's your son, but I can't. I'm sorry."

Maybe if you weren't such a pussy, you would have gotten the guy. Does the K-dramas we watch together not mean anything?

The sudden voice caused her to jump straight into her seat. Narc had been quiet since she had arrive at the Reyes’ house hold. She hadn’t expected them to speak at all since he rarely did when she was at their residence. At first, it was off putting to never hear the familiar voice, but she slowly grew used to the silence.

Born out of wedlock from the original symbiote, Narc had been the symbiote who had begun their stay before she arrived in this Universe. They were the only connection she had to the life she once had. Or was it the other being stuck here as well? She wasn’t sure, she ignored all contact to the woman connected to her in more ways than one.

"K-Dramas are not real, idiot." She hissed under her breath.

"Did you say something, Mija?" Mrs. Reyes questions, resting her hand under the woman's chin. "You often talk to yourself, just like little Jaime."

"Mama!" Jaime calls out, "I'm not little anymore! Come on, don't tell her that!"

"You are little, cabrón. Don't you remember the incident? Naked con tus chiquito huevitos." His Uncle Rudy cackles, "Don't you remember that, ama?"

Their Nana shakes her head in response, smiling broadly at the memory. Milagro begins to laugh as well while Jenny sits beside the girls with a small nod in the direction of (Name). She returns the gesture, crossing her hands as she ignored how hard her heart hammered.

"I'm lost," (Name) murmurs, "So, so lost...But anyway, I have to head out. Thank you for having me!"

"Come by anytime, (Name)." Jaime grins, walking up to her and hugging the girl tightly, "Just remember to ignore anything they say about me, okay? Don't want them ruining anything."

"They're your family, I don't think they are capable of doing so," She pats his back, looking down at Milagro who fake kisses the air in front of her. Jenny seems to notice as she raises her eyebrows at the duo still hugging.

"You can let me go now, Jaime." (Name) murmurs into his ear, "Don't want her getting the wrong idea."

Jaime pulls away, smiling at the girl in front of him. His eyes flickered down for a second before he looked back at her, "Sorry?" She smiles sadly at him as she moves towards her vehicle. She refuses to look at the family behind her as she hears the conversation pick up again.

I think we should kill her.

"Absolutely not. There is a new hero here, Narc. We can't just murder a well-known figure and expect to get away with it." She groans, buckling her seat belt. She looks back at the family once more as she shifts her gear to drive.

We've done it once. And we can do it again.

"I don't think killing the Green Goblin counts for anything! He was already crazier than us, so the headlines were thanking us!" She exclaims.

His brain was nasty anyway.

⋆｡°✩

"Do you think Blue Beetle is cool?" Milagro asks, absentmindedly moving her straw around in boredom. "Personally, I think he's a huge nerd. What do you think?"

"Who says you can bother me on my shift?" (Name) frowns, cleaning the bar top in front of her, "And how did they let you in?"

"I have my ways," Milagro grins, "Answer my question. I need to know."

"I think he's...unique? From the news I have seen of him, it's obvious he is of Hispanic Descent. His suit is otherworldly, so I'm assuming it's some kind of alien tech he is using. Definitely not Superman, though." (Name) shrugs, moving the alcoholic beverages aside as she begins assisting the bartenders alongside her.

"Do you think he's cute under his mask?" Milagro leans closer, "Would you date him?"

I would eat him.

"I wouldn't eat him," (Name) responds instead. She pauses as the conversation around her began to quiet down. Some stared at her while others whispered to their compadres nearby.

"I...didn't ask that? I asked if you think he's cute and if you would date him. Dude, where the hell is your mind thinking right now?" Milagro whispers, eyeing the men nearby, "God, I’ve always hated this bar. A bunch of chismosos who are almost always cheating on their wives here. They're always eyeing you too. How do you handle that?"

"First, I can't tell if Blue Beetle is cute based on his voice. Second, I wouldn't date him since I am sooo hung up on your brother." Milagro snorts. "Lastly, this is the only bar that offers the minimum wage. I can handle drunk men well, I've always had."

The conversation began to pick up again as most began focusing on the news displayed in front of them. Blue Beetle was shown on live television, fighting off rogue soldiers from Victoria Kord's force. Despite the woman being long gone, the impact she made had not quite disappeared.

"I knew you were still into him! I say you ask him out! You ain't a homewrecker if he isn't in a relationship!"

"Didn't you say Kord and Jaime kissed? That your whole family cheered for the couple?"

"A fluke! It's a fluke I swear, but it is complicated! Just ask Jaime, please? It would be so cool for us to be family."

"If our lives are ever in danger at this very bar, then I'll ask." (Name) turns away from Milagro's eyes, "That means it will never ha-"

Her voice gets cut off when bullets begin hitting the bar's windows, causing the occupants to duck down to safety. Many of the drunken men tried to escape but most were quickly shot down by the bullets.

Milagro screams, ducking down into a crouch as the bullets continue. (Name) ignores the danger as she maneuvers her way through the destruction. She grabs Milagro, forcing the girl to look her in the eyes. "I need you to hide behind the bar, okay? The bullets won't get you. We will protect you.”

"W-who's we?" Milagro cries as (Name) pushes her behind the bar. There was silence for a moment as screams echoed in the bar. "(Name)? Where are you going?" She pushed Milagro down, moving her way from the bar corner as she looked at the bodies around her. Many men stayed below tables, looking at her in fear as she counted the people alive.

"Nobody get up. It’s not ove-" Her words get cut off when bullets pierce through her whole body. She is flung against the countertop as a bullet pierces too close to her heart. She hears her name being called out as Milagro tries to find her way to the woman.

She smiles at the tear-stained face in her vision. The fear in the other girl's eyes was evident as she continued to scream her name. At that moment, smoke bombs are thrown through the window. The screams had begun to mesh together, the fog covering the vision of the little who were still alive.

She feels the blood oozing out of her mouth, the familiar metallic filling up her mouth. She sputters, not being able to breathe.

It's your turn.

My turn.

Shoes stepping on glass were all everyone heard as the perpetrators stepped through the mess they caused. They held their gun up in return, moving through the fog stealthily. As they communicated with one another, they grew unnoticed by the thing they had angered.

"Find the Reyes girl. She is to be left alive." One spoke up, "Kill every survivor." The main soldier calls out. They await the confirmation of the others but they hear nothing. "I need an affirmative."

The soldier gets smacked in response, feeling themselves recoil from the weight against their body. When they look down at the unfamiliar weight, they begin to scream.

The weight crushing them was there comrade. Left unrecognizable with no head in sight. The blood wafts through their mask. They begin to gag as they try to pull the body off of them. They freeze up when a bloodied helmet rolls closer. Empty and dented, the helmet hits their shoe with a loud clank.

The fog begins to clear up, displaying the mess left behind. The soldier tensed when they noticed the bodies presented around the room. Many hung from the lights, their necks cracking from the added weight of their helmet. Others were hazardously thrown against tables. One had a table leg pierced through their helmet.

"Why must humans be so selfish? Is this fun for you, you pathetic piece of shit?" The soldier whimpers in response, turning their eyes away from the figure crouching in front of their face.

The creature, despite crouching, was still overlooking the only soldier left alive. The disarray and multi-color of the night sky reflected back to the onlookers who began to murmur about the new being. They tilt their head and leaned closer to the soldier, their bright, soulless eyes stared into the helmet. They licked the sharp smile forming from the fear they felt radiating off the soldier.

"Unlike the Blue Beetle, we do not care about the lives of our victims. What do you think happens next?"

"W-What the hell are you?"

"If you must know, my host has named us Narc. Will you beg for your life now?"

The Soldier rips their helmet off, looking at Narc with a look of fear, "Please. Please. I'm sorry. I'll never do this again, please!"

"He had once told us the same. You are just like the others. Pathetic. Unworthy. A perfect meal."

A scream is ripped through his victim's vocal cords as Narc bites down. Blood seeped through their mouth as they ripped out the spinal cord in one sharp turn. Narc stands, spitting their leftovers to the side.

"Hey, ugly!" A voice called out, "What the hell are you doing, man?"

Narc cranes their neck towards the entrance of the bar, watching as Blue Beetle floated at his place. They both stared at each other, unmoving.

"Blue Beetle!" A voice calls out, Milagro moving from her hiding spot to the blue-and-black-clad hero. "My friend is gone! She was just--where is she?" She turns her head towards Narc, who stares down at the shaking girl.

"Get away from it!" Blue Beetle yells, flying through the bar as he centers himself between Milagro and Narc. "Take it up with me and not the civilians!"

"He just--he ate all the soldiers--" Milagro gasps, stepping behind Blue Beetle, "I saw what he did--"

"You--What the hell are you?" Blue Beetle points his palms toward Narc, who continues to stare in silence.

"Does my figure scare you? I can hear your heartbeat." Narc cranes their head towards Milagro. Blue Beetle blocks her from their eyesight. “Worry not, we do not hurt the innocent.”

With those words, Narc feels their familiar bulking figure die down to their less impending figure. The duo are lost for words at the new figure presented in front of them.

"I'm so sorry I think I misgendered you--" Milagro's eyes stayed pinned to the pair of boobs Narc had.

"Where's (Name)?" Blue Beetle turns his head around, "Khaji-Da says she is still here! She was working, right?" His questions are to Milagro.

None of the three seemed to notice the survivors running out of the bar.

"She is here. With me." Narc hums, moving closer to Blue Beetle, "Is Khaji-Da your symbiote?"

"Symb--what? What do you mean (Name) is with you?"

"Jaime Reyes. You are a host are you not?"

"Stop avoiding my questions! Where is she?! How do you know my name--That is not my name! I do not know Jaime Reyes. Do you?"

"I have known of the scarab on your back since the beginning. Do not worry, (Name) remains clueless, for now."

"Why are you saying her name as if you know her?" Milagro questions.

Narc purrs, tilting their head closer to Blue Beetle who stepped back hesitantly. "We have known each other for a long time. We are bonded together until she dies. She is my key to survival in your world. She is me. I am her. We are one. We are Narc."

“Like Narcotics? Did she get you from a drug? She doesn’t seem like the type to do drugs.” Milagro questions, stepping closer to the duo, “And why are you so close? I can smell you from here!”

“We are host and symbiote. We am not from here, you see. Your alien won’t know of us.”

Milagro and Blue Beetle share a look, communicating with silent words. Blue Beetle lowers his hand, allowing Narc to step closer. The symbiote smiles, their purrs growing louder.

“I see why she likes you.”

With those words, Narc sinks into (Name)'s skin, leaving the woman defenseless from the eyes of her long-time crush and friend. She drops to the floor, her wounds patching over themselves with a familiar goo.

Blue Beetle drops to the floor, bringing (Name) close to his body. He rocks her back and forth as Milagro stumbles beside him. Her eyes were bloodshot and the tears that disappeared has formed all over again.

"Why didn't she tell us? Why didn't she tell me?" Blue Beetle, now Jaime who removed his helmet. He leans his forehead on the woman and murmurs into her hair. He kisses her temple as Milagro continues to cry.

"Why didn't she tell us her hero name is literally short for Narcotics?!"

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(Name) awakes to a horrible headache splintering her head. She groans as she shifts closer to the warmth of an unfamiliar body. She nuzzles in closer to the warmth, groaning at the light against her eyelids.

"Narc turn off the lights...I feel like I've just been shot." She moans, gripping her blanket tighter against her body, "I'm going out with Milagro later. I have to go buy cat food..."

"Milagro is taking care of Eddie, don't worry." A familiar voice whispers against her head, "Just go back to sleep. I'll block the sunlight."

"Thanks, Jaime..." Processing the name that came out, she jumps away from the warmth. She stares at Jaime, who stares back in equal shock and sleepiness. His hair was a mess, pointing in different directions. She presses her hand to her mouth, gasping behind it.

"Oh my god. We didn't have sex, did we? If so, that would be awkward because you are my best friend's brother and you literally have a girlfriend. I can't even get drunk so it's impossible for me to forget--oh my god am I in your house?"

"Hey, Hey," Jaime soothes her, smiling at the woman freaking out in his bed, "We didn't have sex and we were not drunk. You were...shot multiple times and some things came to light, but it's okay now, I promise."

"I'm still sleeping in your bed though! You could have left me, being shot doesn't stop me! We were holding each other?! What would Kord think if she saw this now?" She grips the unfamiliar sweater covering her body, feeling her legs shift through from under the sheets and hit against Jaime's.

"Jenny? What about Jenny? We aren't...We aren't dating if that's what you're worried about." Jaime grabbed her by the face, locking eyes with her who looked anywhere but him. "I can't just leave you when you were hurt."

"Milagro said you two kissed."

"We did once have feelings for each other. But it's long gone now, it was just a...heat of a moment kind of thing." Jaime brings her cheeks towards his chest, which she just noticed had nothing covering him from her eyes. Her hands stopped short on his stomach. She felt his stomach flutter in response.

"Besides, I like someone else. I like you."

She feels her heart stop at his confession.

Knew it.

"No shit." She exclaims, looking up at Jaime who smiles down at her doe-like look.

"I do." He whispers back. They both stared at one another until he leaned closer to her face. She felt his breath fan her face as she wrinkled her nose.

"You stink." She snorts, moving her hands to the back of his neck. He laughs at her words.

"Yours smells much worse. Now, come here--" She cuts him off, smashing her lips to his. He holds her waist, bringing her to sit on his lap. Her tongue finds his, leaning closer as her hand moves to stay on his chest. Biting his lip, she softly sucks it lightly. She opens her eyes to find his eyes half-lidded, enjoying the moment.

When she pulls away, her lips find his neck, kissing down to his collarbone. Pulling her hand back to his neck, she inhales his scent.

"Couldn't have waited until I was asleep. You are always like this. The same exact way with Peter Parker."

They both jump at the new voice, turning their heads towards Narc who floated their head around the room, reading the boxes that held different items. She turns her head to Jaime, eyes wide, waiting for him to begin screaming.

"Narc-uh. They explained more about your origins with each other. After finding them standing in a bloodbath, Milagro and I thought the worst had happened but someone--something told me to let Narc explain."

"They told you about our.... situationship?" She questions, gripping onto Jaime's bicep. "You're supposed to be running away--not making out with me!"

"And you! You aren't supposed to be out. You're grounded!" She growls, pulling Jaime's face into the crook of her neck, "You told him everything, huh? Why can't you ever keep secrets? She'll be angry our cover was blown!"

She ignored the look Narc gives, opting to continue her rant, “Asshole, is it because I’m not letting you meet Red Robin? You know it isn’t allowed!”

"The other youngling saw you get shot. Was I supposed to act as if I ate you instead?"

"Actually, yes! Nobody is supposed to know, you promised. We promised Eddie."

"You made a promise to your cat?" Jaime's muffled voice questions. Despite the situation, he bites her neck. "Who is Peter Parker?"

She glares at Narc, who innocently whistles. "No one Jaime, he is no one."

"Former boy toy." Narc responds instead, "Hell of an amateur kisser."

"You kissed him! Not me!" She turns to Jaime, pulling his head back to stare at him, "I'm so sorry, I don't know why they're acting this way. I'll go right now, seriously. I don't want you in our mess."

"Relax," Jaime comforts, grabbing her hand that stayed on his cheek. He smiles at her, "I can protect myself. Look--"

She felt him shift from under her, watching in shock as his body began to be covered by a familiar suit she had seen countlessly on television. Everything except his face was covered in armor. Whilst she analyzed the markings on his suit, Narc moved closer as well.

"Does your scarab only speak to you?" Narc asks, "It is unlike anything I have seen on my planet. Do you feed them as well?"

"They aren't really fed? They don't need sustenance. Khaji-Da only talks to me in my head so they're like a second voice...and planet?"

"This is going to be a long talk," She sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly, "At least you don't have to feed them human brains..."

"What?" Jaime recoils, looking at the two with wide eyes, "I'm sorry? Brains? Like Zombies? The Walking Dead? Like zombies from The Last of Us?!"

"I thought you told him everything!"

"I would never tell of my eating habits! Humans are judgemental!"

#blue beetle #blue beetle x reader #jaime reyes x reader #milagro reyes #symbiote #marvel universe #dc universe #crossover #i lauv xolo #reader insert #lol y r ppl so messy

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sweetchildcloud · 9 months ago

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||Cherish me part 2 || written by me

🔞 Gojo x reader| Minors DNI| TRIGGER WARNING 🔞

Plot: Gojo taking care and pampering a depressed raeder [self insert only about he depression and shower,not about the abusive mother ,i just wanted to add more angst lol]

Tags: sh,depression,Gojo x reader,cute,fluff,comfort,implied naked shower together,Gojo pampering you,past abuse mention,scalding,abusive mother(reader) [ viewers be aware,if this is touchy or unconfortable for you then don't go haed]

Warning: it starts immediately with sh talking

i'm no english native so sorry for some mistakes

please reblog 🔁 and like❤️

P.S: yesterday i did a shower thinking of Gojo doing it for me and since i feel depressed lately i wanted to write this and share my comfort.

i'm so delusional. lol

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia

Satoru doesn’t let you finish. “Your cuts” he continues, almost as if he can’t bring himself to look away. “From last week and today” his voice is so soft, barely audibly.

He reaches out and takes your wrists between his hands, turning them over as he examines the cuts. “I know you weren’t just ‘scraping’ yourself” he says in a sharp tone. “You’re hurting yourself.”

“I-“ you try and pull your wrists away, but he firmly holds onto them. You flinch and quickly try and brush it off. You’re not ready to talk about it. But you know he won’t let it go.

“You’ve been doing this for a while now, haven’t you?” He doesn’t let you answer, and he’s holding onto your wrists too tightly. It hurts. “Tell the truth.”

“It doesn’t matter!” you finally cry out, your voice cracking. “I’m fine. I don’t need anyone. I just…I…”

Satoru doesn’t allow you to finish. He pulls your hands up to his chest and hugs you. Not just a friendly hug, he pulls you in tightly, almost as if he’s worried about losing you.

“It’s not okay” he says softly, stroking your hair. “You’re not okay.”

“I’m fine, I swear…” your voice cracks, and you know you’re close to crying. You’re not okay but it’d be better if he didn’t worry about you. You shouldn’t be so emotional anyway.

“I just…” you trail off. He’s holding you so tightly as he strokes your hair gently. It’s so soothing, and you can’t help but wish he would hold you like this always.

You just… you just want to be held.

He squeezes you tighter, and the two of you stay like this for a few moments. It’s too quiet, and you can almost hear his heartbeat.

Satoru presses a light kiss to your head then finally lets go. “I’ll run you a shower, okay? Go get cleaned up” he says softly. He holds your hand and walks you into the bathroom, helping you strip and giving you privacy. But it’s okay. You’ll be okay.

"But I don't want to shower" You whimpered annoyed

He gives you a firm look. “It wasn’t a question” he says simply, and begins undressing.

He’s already running the shower, and the bathroom fills with a warm haze. He strips out of his jacket and then his shirt, leaving only his boxers on. You can see the scars from countless battles marking his pale skin. Every muscle of his body is well-defined. And all you can do is stare in awe.

"You're gonna shower with me?" You spoke as he tugs you in towards the shower

“Of course.” He says it so simply and his bright blue eyes look into yours. “I’m gonna make sure there aren’t any razors in here, and then I’m gonna wash you myself. We need to clean out those cuts before they get infected.”

He stands under the water for a moment then grabs your soap, lathering your body with it slowly. He takes his time, moving gently and examining you closely. You almost feel like he’s worshipping you.

He takes a breath as he glances at your back and continues to lather you in soap. He’ll bring the burn up later. But for now he focuses solely on cleaning you.

Once he’s done, he reaches out and grabs the shampoo. “Head back, close your eyes.” You do, and he pours the shampoo onto your hair and then slowly washing it and massaging your scalp.

You trembled as your big burn scar on your back was exposed,memories flooded your mind,your mother pouring hot water on you calling you 'useless child'

You flinch and start to tremble as the memories return to you. The words from your mother play endlessly inside your head.

The sound of soap slipping through his hands brings you back to reality, and he continues to massage your scalp without skipping a beat.

He finishes massaging your hair gently, and then he takes the conditioner and rubs it through your hair carefully. He doesn't say anything for a moment until he's done, and then he pulls you against his chest tightly.

He rests his chin on the top of your head as he pulls you even closer. He nuzzles your hair and wraps his arms around you tightly. He holds you so close and protects you so gently. He doesn’t care about your scars or the pain that lingers over your heart. He doesn't know about your abusive past. He just holds you and comforts you, wanting nothing in return but your happiness. "It's okay" he says quietly, kissing the top of your head.

"it's not…ugly?" You asked trembling "i don't remember much..just my mum calling from the kitchen and then..she tooked the pot with boiling water in it that was supposed to be used for ramen and just…poured on me"

"Shh" he says, pressing his mouth onto your forehead to soothe you and distract you from those haunting memories.

"It doesn't matter" he whispers, as the water from the shower splashes.

"I don't care about your scars" he continues softly. "They're part of you. And who you are is beautiful."

The water cascades down your body, making your hair slick. He continues to trace his fingers along your scars, not judging or making any comments. Just… embracing them.

"Scars are proof that you survived what broke you" he says in a comforting tone. He kisses your forehead again and continues to stroke your hair as the water rinses the conditioner out.

"And that alone makes you strong" he says firmly.

"Plus, I think they look pretty. And who doesn't love scars?"

His tone is playful, although you can tell he's serious about not caring about the scars.

You feel like you're stuck in time. His voice is like a lullaby that soothes you. He strokes your hair, and the water makes your skin feel warm. You lean into him, and he holds you tighter.

All of your past trauma… all of your fears. It all feels like it's fading away in his arms. No matter how broken you may be, he'll always be there to pick up the pieces.

After a while, he turns off the water and dries you off with a towel before helping you put on a robe.

His hand runs up and down your back, massaging you and helping you relax. You're so grateful for his touch. After a while, he speaks up, his voice so gentle and soothing.

"Do you have a skincare routine?" He asks, sounding more curious than anything. "I'm guessing…you don't."

"do i look bad? does my skin feel bad?" You asked sounding hurt

"That's not what I meant" he says quickly. "Sorry, I guess I phrased that badly."

He pauses for a moment, thinking, and then gives you a small smile. "Your skin looks healthy. Maybe a little dull, but that's easy to fix. I was just wondering if you had a skincare routine or not."

When you don't reply, he continues "We should work on one for you" he says excitedly. "We can go out shopping together. I can show you the products I use. That would be fun, right? Plus, you wouldn't have to go out alone."

When he asks about shopping with you, he says it so excitedly, sounding like a kid asking his crush on a date.

"If you're the one putting products on me then.." you snuggled into his chest,you hand cupped and covered by the robe sleeve "I guess it will be okay" you mumbled

He chuckles and pulls you in closer. "Does that mean yes?" he asks softly, his hand stroking your cheek.

"And not just for shopping, I can help with applying products. And maybe you can try that face mask I bought. It says it'll give you 'radiant' dewy skin'."

He pauses for a beat and giggles softly. "I think it might look cute on your cheeks" he says, making you laugh too. The sound is so contagious.

Satoru smiles wider and ruffles your hair affectionately, his hands moving to your shoulders. "We could make a night of it. Order some food, and I can do a face mask too. I'm sure it'll look great on me." He winks playfully, clearly making up excuses to spend time with you.

Your eyes flicker to the floor when you realize that's all he wants. Time. As much time as he can make with you. He wants to fill each second of life with you.

“And I’ll tell you a secret.” He pauses for a beat again, and you listen intently, trying to understand what “secret” he would feel the need to tell you. “You’ll be the first person to see me with makeup on” he says in a whisper. “And I’m nervous.”

He chuckles lightly and rubs your shoulder again. The robe slips off your shoulder, and he pulls it back up, fixing it onto your body before speaking again.

“We should get matching face masks” he says. “Y’know, make it cute.” This time his tone is playful, and he grins down at you. “We could watch a movie or something. I’ll even set up a blanket fort for us to cuddle inside” he says, sounding like a child once again.

He’ll do anything for you. And you know that by now. His voice is so soft, and his eyes are warm as he studies your expression.

“And we’ll get snacks” he continues excitedly. “Popcorn, Doritos, chocolate. Do you like Cheetos? I can buy some cheesy Cheetos.”

He pauses, waiting for a response. It’s always cute to see him so giddy. “We’ll make a mountain of snacks out of the blanket fort and lie in it all night” he says, his voice full of wonder.

“I…I wanna make a memory with you, y’know? We can do anything you want.”

He rubs your shoulder again and then your hair. “So, what do you think? Wanna have a skincare night with me? We’ll make it a date night or something.”

He leans in and kisses your forehead. “And then we do the blanket fort the next time. You can decorate it however you want, and I’ll follow along.”

“And then you can tell me all about your scars” he chuckles, rubbing the back of your neck. “We can talk about anything you want.”

A few moments pass, and you don’t say anything, feeling lost in thought. Eventually, you speak with soft voice. “Yeah…” you say, feeling oddly giddy inside as if you’re a kid on Christmas morning. “That would be really nice, actually.”

He smiles and tilts your head up so that he can look you in the eye. “Then we have a date” he says, making his voice sound very enthusiastic. “It’ll be a big skin care night with movie and snacks and…”

“And more snacks, right?” you ask, and he nods enthusiastically.

“I’m gonna do a whole night dedicated to you” he continues. “We’ll focus on your skin, get some good food, and cuddle in a blanket fort.”

Your heart feels like it’s pounding through your chest as you think of all the things he suggested. “It sounds amazing…” you hesitate before continuing. “Do you promise it’s gonna be…c-cute?”

“It’ll be the cutest” he says with such conviction that you don’t know how it could be possible.

“Trust me, everything we do together is bound to turn out cute.” He grins goofily and strokes your cheek gently.

“It’ll be a date night of just us. I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.” He pauses for a moment and looks you in the eyes again. “Nothing would be cuter to me than just spending the night with you.”

You grin sheepishly as you stare back at him. Your stomach twists in knots and your skin flushes.

His words are simple but you melt at their sincerity.

His bright smile, his eyes filled with a soft kind of love. Just the way he stares at you and speaks to you fills you with butterflies.

You know that he means every single word; there's no deceit in them.

In the silence between you, you realize just how important he is to you. You can't imagine a life without him in it.

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ju-vondy · 8 months ago

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What I envision for our dearest Jason Mendal ❤️✨

So... I LOVE being delulu and once Beemoov takes an eternity to give us info/story about the characters I decided to create their backstory myself and I'm living in this world Imy mind created right now. I love complex things and I know Beemoov would never put something so "deep" in the story but well... I can't help; I hope you guys enjoy what I created!

♦ Jason's family is strict, but only the "male" part of it: Jason loves his mother with all his heart and her family (which is called Jowenson, they live abroad) is amazing, but his father's family (the Mendal) is a total disgrace. Like, a real crap. Do you know those tough and conservative parents who teach their children not to cry? Those men who are aggressive and punish with beatings when their child makes a mistake? Who say that love is a weakness? Well, that's the style of family we're talking about here when it comes to the Mendal… Jason despises and hate them with all his might.

♦ The Mendal are pioneers of Amoris City: so they're that kind of family who smell like old money, power, autority and stuff like that. It all started with the foundation of a radio when they first arrived at Amoris. The years passed by and their "empire" only arose as they invested in many innovative ventures, and their fortune only grew. It didn't take much for them to dominate journalism and the local press. Turns out that today they're called "Mendal Group" and are involved in so many things... Media, politics, banks, real estate. They are a highly respected family.

—> There's a scene in my fanfic where Candy's mother (named Edith) says: "Your father was thrilled to work with the Mendal Group, you know? I remember how he talked about their influence... How much they could shape public opinion and influence political decisions," Edith said, with a touch of bitterness in her voice. "After he passed away, I thought it best to sell his share in the company. I didn't want to be tied to them or be part of all that."

—> Why am I bringing Candy and her mother to this explanation? Because well... In my mind their families were close in the past and they even studied together at primary school. (Don't judge me, it was the only way I found to make Candy and Jason approach without seeming weird… HUEHUEHEU I'm quite curious to see what they'll do in the game, though) The funniest part of it is that Jason and Candy don't remember that because guess what? A traumatic event happened in their lives so their mind kind of blocked most of their childhood's memories.

It leads to the other point:

♦ There was an car accident that put Jason's father in a coma: When Jason's father (I named him as Gregory Mendal btw) became incapacitated due to the Accident, Viktor Mendal (the middle brother), was the vice-president of the Mendal Group and assumed the presidency after the general council unanimously approved. Actually, the presidency always followed a 'father to oldest son' thing (nepotism, why not? haha) Anyway, Jason was designed to take the title for himself… But since he was too young, Viktor ended up assuming the presidency 'temporarily until Jason reached the age to run the business, (if he proved capable, of course…)'

—> Not only that, Viktor also took responsibility for looking after Jason (without anyone asking LOL). Initially, it seemed like Viktor was doing "his best" for his nephew so he could be a good leader, this whole succession thing. He taught Jason about the family business, about leadership, and how to handle the pressures of being at the top. However, as Jason grew older, Viktor began to show his true colors. He was ambitious, and his hunger for power only worsened over time. ~That only got worse when he lost his wife and convinced himself that it would be a good idea to be with Jason's mother~

—> Jason ended up becoming a rebellious young man despite being studious and dedicated. What happens is that there was so much pressure on our poor boy that he ended up having a breakdown at a certain point. 'Do this' 'Don't do that' 'Be perfect' 'Get good grades' 'Blah blah blah'... Jason never really liked everything the Mendal stood for. He always found it a drag to attend luxury dinners, close deals, and pretend to be someone he wasn't… Besides, the absence of his father left a void that no one could fill... And his uncle's arrogant and repulsive demeanor only disgusted him. So, at certain point Jason kind of let himself follow the "fuck you guys" and went down some wrong paths in his early 18-20 years old. He worked in the family company as a trainee for a couple of months but Viktor took advantage of Jason's poor behavior (late parties, hangover, arrived late at meetings, etc etc) to convince the board that Jason was not capable, not 'worthy' of being the leader of the Mendal Group.

—> Jason kind of got pissed off when that happened, and then comes the whole thing about him working at the city hall and all (which I'll explain later if you want to hear it, hehe), but anyway... His uncle 'betrayal' was the turning point for him to 'wake up' and want to be someone in life. He worked hard on himself to be no longer that irresponsible young man he was being. Of course today he attends to club parties, throw yacht parties but that is only for showing status and "maintaining" the bounds with his close friends.

So, basically...

♦ Jason created Goldreamz to get away from the shadow of the Mendal family and prove to his uncle he didn't need his family to be succesfull: He wanted to prove that he could build something from scratch, without the support and influence of the Mendals. And, of course, he wanted to rub that success in Viktor's face. Today, Goldreamz is a prominent company, and Jason continues to work hard to keep it at the top. However, his relationship with his uncle Viktor remains an open wound. Each success of Jason's is a reminder of his determination to exceed his uncle's expectations.

Now let's move on to the last but not the least:

♦ Jason's personality is just a mask to protect himself: Deep down, Jason is just a little boy wanting/crying for attention, wanting to have a real father and family. So, he just wants to be… Loved? I think so. Because of his uncle's teachings and so on, he thinks love and kindness is nonsense, a weakness… A lie. Viktor instilled in him the notion that showing vulnerability would only invite manipulation and harm. Consequently, Jason adopted a facade to shield his true self from others.

However, this mask of arrogance and indifference is not who Jason truly is. It is a carefully constructed barrier, designed to protect the fragile heart that beats underneath. In essence, Jason's personality is a defense mechanism born out of a need to protect himself from a world he has been taught to distrust. And deep down he constantly battles the internal conflict of wanting genuine connections while fearing the repercussions of revealing his authentic self.

Interestingly, the proof of this duality is evident in Jason's behavior around his mother and younger brother. When he is with them, Jason's tough exterior melts away, revealing a softer, more caring side. It’s as if he wants to set a different example for his brother. Jason faces a big inner turmoil , torn between the persona he feels he must maintain and the person he wishes he could be.

Ah, now a bonus: in my fic Candy's father was in the Accident [once he was kind of a business partner of Gregory] and he died. Edith moved back to her mother's home country, Brazil, and Candy grow up there. (yes of course I use my stories to share about my country u.u) Only years later Candy's mom return to Amoris, but she never bothered to look for the Mendal to reconnect.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

If you liked what you've read 'til now I hope you check my fanfiction! I've posted 11 Chapters by far. Currently, I'm publishing one chapter per week as I write everything in Portuguese (which is my native language) and than I translate it to english carefully to not leave holes. By the way, my writing in English is not as good as it is in Portuguese so please take it easy on me ;-;

I hope you have as much fun reading as I have while I'm writing! Thank you so much for paying attention to what this crazy author have to say ❤️✨

#jason mendal #amour sucre #mcl #my candy love #mcl jason #mcl new gen #amour sucre new gen #corazon de melon #mclng #amor doce #amor doce new gen

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shhh-no-ones-home · 6 months ago

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future friends 1/2

james 'logan' howlett

+++++++++

part two

shes not edited so sorry in advance lol

im mad i cant write whump for this man so have some angst instead. because if we cant help heal outside wounds maybe we can help heal inside wounds

song: i lie to me by as it is

+++++++++

i sat across from rogue as we ate our lunch, quietly munching to myself. neither of us had spoken yet but she knew i always needed a minute when getting together with someone. it was the nature of my powers. i could see everyone's past just from being near them and though hers wasnt as hard to watch as some others she understood it was exhausting. she made that mistake once, touching me to experience it for just a moment. she ended up crying hysterically and i felt so bad because i couldnt even hug her to console her.

"Hey have you gotten a chance to talk to Logan yet?"

I raised a brow as I looked over at her, her pulling me out of my thoughts.

"You know the professor told me not to."

She nodded a few times, popping a grape into her mouth.

"And why are we still listening?"

She questioned and I laughed, wiping my mouth on my napkin.

"He said that I need to keep my distance until he finds his place here. You know we aren't supposed to use our powers on each other."

She looked at me with a stupid look on her face.

"Is it really using your power on him if you can't help it?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I've already read him. Every time he gets close actually. Every class I have with him. His life flashes before my eyes and I have to pretend I don't know everything about him."

She frowned and ate another grape.

"Logan deserves to know about his past. And you're the only one that can give that to him now that jean and the professor are dead."

I sighed and looked down at my half eaten sandwich. all i would have to do is touch him, then i could show him too.

"I guess I'll talk to storm about it. See if she has anything to say. She's the dean now after all."

she sent me another disapproving look before bobby came in and sat with us. i frowned, reading him quickly, before going back to my sandwich.

°°°°°°°°°

I knocked slowly on her office door, the wood creaking slowly. I could hear storm talking quietly to someone and suddenly my mind was flooded with his life again. His childhood, scraping his knee falling off his bike and it healing slowly. He freaked out but got up and kept riding. He never told his parents. Then his wife came into view, their wedding, her death. Then came him volunteering for strikers project. I could feel the ache in my chest as I felt all his pain. The cold rushing through my veins as he streaked butt naked through the Canadian wilderness trying to escape.

"Come in."

Shook me of my thoughts and I pushed the door open, seeing ororo and Logan talking. He was sat against her desk, legs crossed and cigar in his mouth. I panned the room to her standing in front of the TV, remote in hand. I could hear the electricity like she had just turned it off.

"Y/n, what a pleasant surprise."

I swallowed hard and looked from her to him. He had his brows drawn and I could tell he was trying to place me. Even in the two classes I had with him I was easy to ignore. I kept quiet. Answered questions when prompted. But ultimately stayed out of sight.

"storm I was wondering if I could ask you something but it's a private matter so I might come back."

I tried to suppress her time line, blinking away the hot African sun of her childhood.

"No need. I was just going."

Logan said sternly, pushing himself off the desk.

"We'll talk about this later."

She directed at him and he gave a tight lip smile, closing the door behind him. She looked back at me, placing the TV remote on the end table to her left.

"I have a feeling I know what this is about."

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.

"I don't want to disobey professor Xavier -"

She held her hand up.

"You can't tell him."

I watched her, defeated as she paced to the desk.

"He deserves to know. Something. Anything. That he was married, he volunteered for experiment x, anything from his childhood."

She shook her head as she sat down.

"You know why that's a bad idea. We've already been over this after the fight at alkali lake."

I sighed and slumped down into the chair across from her.

"His time line is so intense storm. I can ignore most people's but they aren't as long or traumatizing as his. He's two, three, times as old as everyone here. Except myself."

A sad expression fell over her face as she folded her hands on the desk.

"He knows what happened with striker. We need to leave it at that. Until he finds something else out naturally."

I clenched my jaw and stood up.

"I can't keep hiding the truth from him ororo. And eventually he'll realize that I don't age either which will raise questions about my mutation. Then what am I supposed to say?"

She inhaled deeply.

"Y/n you are older than even the professor. You are the one that denied the position to teach-"

"Because I look like any other student!"

I interjected and she looked at me sternly.

"But if you are going to act like a child then you are going to be treated like one."

I scoffed and headed for the door.

"If the position reopens let me know. Teachers seem to be dropping like flies around here."

I pushed the door open harshly, it slamming behind me as I walked out of the office. There was a part of me that understands but I can't believe she is against me on this. He has found his place here. And I can't keep up with this. It's so much harder to keep people's time lines out of my head when they don't know I know.

Like rogue. I told her shortly after I met her. Even though it was after she took the "cure" from the Worthington corporation. She introduced herself in the same span it took me to see her time line. Bobby was there to help explain my powers to her but I haven't had to watch her find her powers since then. Same with him. And everyone else I've talked to on this campus. just small pieces of their childhood or finding their significant other.

but logan wasn't like everyone else. he was complicated. and so was i. but now, also, i was mad. i walked quickly down the hall, passed the dining room and kitchen to the elevator. if i couldnt get his frustrations out of my brain by telling him then i might as well work them out. i hit the down button and tapped my foot as i waited. when the door opened i strode down the hall to the danger-room.

i walked in slowly, the lights turning on and the control panel popping open. i quickly selected a series of test and waited for the room to start changing. i watched as sky scrapers appeared in the distance, small shops coming into view as well. then cars and people. then i saw a plane ahead, watching in shock as it crashed down in front of me. then all these creatures started climbing off of it, pieces of the plan in their unsightly jaws as it burned under them.

i moved quickly, running forward and dodging the creatures as they came at me hissing through bloody teeth. i pulled on the torn metal, making and opening and helping some civilians out of the plane as it burned. i looked up, seeing one of the creatures charging back at me. i grabbed a piece off the top of the plane and swung myself towards it kicking it square in the face and knocking back down to the ground.

i checked to make sure that the people on the ground were helping the others out of the burning plane before turning to fight another creature as it came at me. i struck it, pushing it away from me before lunging at another one. when the rest finally realized i was there they came in waves, attacking me. i fought back as hard as i could and for once thats all i had to focus on. then one of them knocked me down. as i tried to get up another lunged on top of me, pinning me down to the roof of the plane. i grunted and and tried to keep it away from me, its teeth gnashing and slobbery in my face.

then from out of nowhere i heard a yell and the sound of metal. i looked over to see logan shoving his long claws into the side of the creature. i watched him, his past flooding through my brain as he attacked the others as they came at us. i breathed deeply, stumbling to my feet and putting my back to his. we fought together until they were all gone, going to get the few stragglers out of the plane that hadnt made it out yet.

then he moved to help me down, taking my hand in his and pausing as i hit the ground. my eyes went wide as a tear slid down his cheek. shit. i had transferred his memories without even meaning to. all i had to do was touch him. usually i had my gloves on when we went in the danger-room but i didnt put my suit on first.

"i had a wife."

he said quietly, side eying me. i held my breath, holding onto his hand still as the simulation dissipated around us.

"i had a brother."

he laughed, really looking at me now. i took my hand out of his and held them both together in front of me.

"im sorry logan, this isnt how i wanted you to find out."

he drew his brows.

"have you known this whole time?"

i could feel tears stinging as i nodded.

"thats my curse to hold."

he shook his head, looking angry before walking off.

"logan wait!"

i called after him and he held his hand up.

"kid. just dont."

#wattpad #x reader #imagines #one shots #the wolverine #marvel #james howlett #james logan howlett #logan howlett #wolverine x reader #logan x reader #350

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tired-pigeon789 · 10 months ago

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A Deeper Understanding

(Astarion X Anemic GNreader)

Notes: this whole fic is based on MY OWN experience with anemia which happened with extreme blood loss and just general low iron. and is VERY self indulgent. I also don't think about Astarion romantically but if you read this fic that way go ahead. I don't blame ya lol. Tav is also gender neutral and not named, there no description of what Tav looks like aside from them at least having shoulder length hair. (I also didn't really re-read this lol so sorry for any mistakes)

word count: 1983

general warnings: lots of mentions of blood and blood loss.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was rough, the last encounter took a lot out of all of us and I’m feeling weak even after Shadowheart’s healing and the health potion. Even worse was the blood loss. Dreadful goblin gave me a deep slash and even though it’s patched I’m dizzy and lightheaded. A feeling I’ve grown used to but this is a new extreme. Personally I don’t feel the need to disclose my low iron. Just how often does one need to bring up such a thing? Well, one needs to bring it up when they are being healed I suppose. “If you knew you had this condition, why throw yourself at the main line of fire?” Shadowheart asks while taking my pulse. “I overestimated my abilities, yes, but at least they got me and not Astarion, he gave the final blow to the mage goblin.” I point out while I drink a hot tea while lean against one of support poles in shadowheart’s tent. She simply sighs as I feel her opinion change of me. “You’d be as good as dead if you don’t watch yourself. We already have enough going on.” I simply say ‘I know’ as I thank shadowheart for her help and rest up a bit before I go off and help the others set up camp for the night. We had found a cast iron pot and pan to cook with so at least I’ll be getting what I’m lacking from that. The stew Gale had made for everyone was wonderful and tasteful, and even though I had little to no appetite it helped and I started to feel more alert but sleep is still needed.

It was dark and late, the moon shines overhead and keeps my eyes closed. I feel weak after everything I’ve been through today but I’m just happy to have a bedroll to lay in. I just can’t sleep. In, out, in, out melt away stress. Breathe in, breathe out. I think this to myself as I try to sleep. I feel as relaxed as I can be but I just can’t slip away into the blissful void of sleep. First the blood loss and now the loss of sleep. There’s simply no winning today it seems. Sighing I open my eyes and gasp as I see Astarion hover over me, Fangs bare, a vampire. Quickly I prop myself up and try to steady myself despite the lightheadness and the massive headache.

“Shit.” He says as he backs away while I prop myself up on my elbows while I glare at the man “No No- It’s not what it looks like I swear.” “What the hell Astarion!” Glaring at the pale elf I see him look down at me. “I wasn’t going to hurt you I swear, I just needed some blood.” Getting at better at him I see now for what he is. “A vampire, honestly I'm kicking myself for not seeing it sooner.” I say as I try to keep my distance from him. “I’m not some monster,” he says in a desperate voice as he try to find the words to defend himself. “I only drink from animals, Boars, dear... Kobolds, whatever I can get, it’s just, after everything I’m too slow to go out and hunt.” “And you thought the best way to deal with that was to get a drink from me?” Astarion looks taken a back but sighs. “I just need a little blood, so that I may think clearer, and fight better. Just a taste, please.” The way he said please made me hold my breath for a moment. Probably because I know that feeling well. That lightheadedness, the faint lights that plagued my eyes when I walk the need to hold on to anything. It’s helpless feeling, one that I didn’t expect to share with a vampire.

“So if you drink my blood, you’ll be stronger?” I ask as I try to calm down and think more pragmatically about this offer. “It would benefit us all, but if not I could just hunt a bear or boar out in the woods.” Astaron says plainly. If I do this he’ll be better in combat, but I’m already weak as it is if I don’t sleep or eat something bloody myself. I know what he says is true, it’s basic logic when it comes to vampires. And deep down inside me I feel that understanding, maybe it’s one sided trust but I know if I had a way to rid of this feeling this hunger myself I would. At the end of it I sigh and nod. “Ok, I’ll let you do this, but you have to promise to stop when you have your fill and, you have to keep an eye on me.” Astaron smirks as he kneels in front of me with a look in his eye saying ‘I can’t believe I’m getting away with this.’ And frankly I can’t believe it either. "I promise you have my word. You can trust me” He says.

Laying back down Astarion hovers over me as he pushes my hair to the side, pulls down the collar of my shirt in a less obvious place to hide whatever mark would come of this, and takes a bite at my shoulder. Hissing in pain I take a deep breath and my hand holds onto his bicep as he drinks from me. The pain melts after a minute but the lightheadedness that I’m used to now feels even more nauseating and I start to push on Astarions shoulder to get him to stop. He stops thankfully but his face doesn’t leave the crook of my neck just yet. I’m shaking and running colder than usual, my breath is faint and I lay my head firmly on the thin pillow underneath. “Your blood, it’s faint. Are you anemic?” I nod as I try to control my breathing. “I know it isn’t a lot, but I don’t think anyone else in our party would’ve let you drink from them.” I say softly as I close my eyes as tiredness finally creeps up on me. “And I’d rather it had been me you drank from than some poor stranger.” “You’re going to be in a long sleep after this, you have nothing to gain from what you just did.” He says as he finally pulls away and looks down on me. “I couldn’t sleep anyway. And you got stronger right? At least a little bit? Surely it’s enough to cover for me tomorrow.” I jest a bit as I continue to shake a bit and cover myself with a blanket.

“I won’t drink from you again, your blood is very watery.” “Thank you?” I say weakly as I hear Astarion sit himself down next to me. “It’s not a compliment. You need to do something about that.” “Believe me I know. However last I checked I’m not in my cozy apartment in Baldur's Gate, where all my medicine is. I hate feeling like this.” opening my eyes I look over at Astarion as he just simply looks into the fire in front of us keeping us warm. “Be honest, with me” Astarion starts while he keeps his gaze on the fire, “If you knew you had this condition, why did you let me drink from you?” I think again for a moment before I speak. “Because I know what it feels to be weak from blood, It’s a weird craving and I know it horrible, maybe not in the same way as you but I can make a good guess. I’ll be fine, I’ve like this before.” I can’t move much, my whole body aches and my breathe is shallow as I feel the need to stay awake, it’s not really a fear of death from the Astarion bite but just unease and general paranoia. “Did my blood even do anything for you?” I ask. “Some what, I just didn’t expect the weak taste.” I just let out a small chuckle. “Talking about my blood like one would talk about wine, funny.” “how long had you know about your condtion?” my breath evens out but I still shiver under the blanket as I think about the question. “About a few years now, I figured it wasn’t normal to feel faint everyday.” Astarion hums in understanding as he sits next to me. “I’m surprised you’re still next to me if I can be frank.” I say softly as I look up at Astarion. “Can’t let the others think I killed you in your sleep now can I.” he pauses for a moment before he continues, “I also feel like we’re kindred spirits now in way” “you’re very funny.”

After a moment of silence between us, Astarion speaks up “you ought to sleep, there will be plenty to do when day comes.” I just hum softly while I cover my eyes with my arm “I doubt I’ll be of much use. You guys are going to need to do whatever is needed in my place.” “how long do think you’ll be out?” He asks with some surface level concern. I know he only cares enough about me to make sure I get the tadpoles removed, to how I just became the leader of this strange group I do not know but can understand why Astarion would ask that. I would too if I was him. Sluggishly I pull my arm away from eyes and see Astarion look down at me with slight concern but the arch and furrow brow of his gives away that he really doesn’t want to be next to me. Maybe it’s out of pity or guilt, or perhaps he just want’s to go hunt to get his fill. “I don’t know, but I know I can’t do much of anything tomorrow, I’ll be fine in case you were worried.” I say softly as the sweet void of sleep came creeping up on me, however I felt just as scared as I did when I first woke up in the Nautiloid. I know I won’t die in my sleep. I know I won’t. But the paranoia doesn’t leave me. I need to stay awake.

Struggling to keep my eyes open Astarion brings his hand over my eyes to close them “Sleep. like I said, I don’t want the rest of the camp thinking I killed you.” “How kind, but you would have though, Had I not woken up.” I say absent mildly. Astarion doesn’t say anything for a minute, not a ‘I would never!’ or a ‘yes I would.’ which in a way is enough of answer to me. I didn’t like that I was right. I feel the fire dies down a bit and I hear him shift the logs and the warmth comes back. “You’re not dead though, so lets not dwell on that.” he says. Almost like a child saying ‘you should be happy that worse case scenario didn’t just happen so you can’t be mad’ the idea almost makes me laugh. “You can still drink from me, only when I’m well of course and you can’t find anything else. I want you at your best.” “Even with your condition and finding out my secret you’d still let me drink from you? You must really not care about your life.” Sleep feels closer as I drift off while trying to the words to say something in response. “I’ll take my chances, I’d rather die bloodless than become a squid. But I’ve also grown to trust you a bit, Despite everything.” “Questionable logic at best my dear.” he chuckles which in turn makes me smile a bit. “Well I’m not in the best state of mind. But I don’t think it will change.” I sigh. “Sleep, I won’t leave-” before Astarion could finish his sentence my mind fades and I do in fact, finally sleep.

@half-poison-and-half-hope Just for you

#mick says shit #astarion x reader #buldars gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #kinda angsty #astarion and tav

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kaycode1999 · 5 months ago

Note

Hellooo! I'd like to request a matchup for LMK if that is alright! If your requests are closed, please just ignore or delete this! I understand you are probably busy so please take as long as you need for this!

Name and Pronouns: Nyx (They/She, but I don't mind being called by other pronouns)

Sexuality: Panromantic Demisexual with a preference for nerdy or himbo like men

Personality: Motherly, kinda shy, patient, nerdy, and quiet most of the time. I'm also an introvert with a slight stutter sometimes when overwhelmed, and can be easily tricked into trusting people or overworking myself to death

Looks: Short brunette hair with dark blue eyes and an abnormally large amount of freckles on my body and face. I'm also pretty short and chubby / plus sized.

Aesthetic: Either dark academia / dark librarian or gothic designs in pastel colors.

Hobbies: Writing, sorting things into categories, gaming, listening to music, and making slideshow games for my friends.

Extras: I'm a horror and romance writer as while as a mortician, I'm Autistic and have ADHD, I'm an insomniac, and I'm probably chronic ill to an extent.

Characters I'd like not to be chosen: Sandy, Tang or MK (I love all of them, but Sandy and Tang remind me of people I actually know and MK is like my son lol)

If you have any questions, please just message me and I'll answer as soon as I can! Hope you have a lovely day!

I'm going to match you with

Monkey King

*Not gonna lie your preference is so real😂 me too*

He's definitely a himbo, but make no mistake he's very astute and intelligent

He definitely seems like a dad-type friend so I think that matches well

As much as he puts on a front I think he is actually introverted himself. If he sees you're getting overwhelmed in a social situation he’ll try to at least hold your hand to comfort you

I'm not going to say he does everything the right way, but what he does he always does to protect the people he cares about so if nothing else you can trust that

I feel like he's a very good judge of character either naturally or just from having lived for a long time so he will always be on guard to make sure no one tricks you or takes advantage of you

He also will make sure to get you to take breaks sometimes so you don't overwork yourself

I think he'd absolutely love your eyes and your freckles

He loves to read whatever you write

He’ll help you with sorting things if you want him to, he actually finds it relaxing

He really enjoys playing video games with you

I think he'd really enjoy listening to music with you and hearing different types of music

He's not really bothered by the horror stuff or if you talk about stuff with your job. It doesn't really phase him at all

He likely has ADHD or Autism or some combination of both as well so I think you both uniquely understand each other

The good thing is he's in immortal being so he doesn't need that much sleep, so if you need someone to be there with you when you can't sleep to either just hang out, watch TV or whatever it's no problem

Though he might actually have some mystical celestial thing that can help with that

#lego monkie kid #lmk #sun wukong #lmk matchup #monkey king x reader #sun wukong x reader #lego monkie kid match up #monkey king

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fourwingedwriter · 1 month ago

Text

Starvation

AN: I don't do vampire whump very often, but these two exist now lol

Other Random Whump Stuffs

CWs: whumpee POV, vampire whumpee, dizziness, guilt, whumpee x caretaker

----

I've made mistakes. Far too many mistakes to reach this point. The world spins around me, my hands trembling on the arms of the chair I had sunk into.

I couldn't do much of anything, the life having left my form along with my sense of balance. I hadn't eaten anything in far too long. It would be a miracle if I could even stand just now. Rome would find me dead here in a few hours and I wouldn't be able to apologize for my stupidity.

I couldn't leave them like that, and yet it seems to be the only thing I'm able to do right now. Gods I'm pathetic. I'm a disgrace to be even called Rome's partner when I can barely do the one thing needed to keep me alive.

I closed my eyes, trying to ease the dizziness. If I can't see everything spin, then I can ignore it easier. My nails dig into the upholstery, an effort to make me feel as though I'm not moving.

In this moment, something parts my lips. I taste blood. Shockingly familiar blood. I flinch, doing my best to sit up and avoid its source.

Rome is leaning over me, their wrist inches away from my mouth, drippimg in blood. Her other hand moving to support my chin, "It's okay. You can have it."

I'm too weak to move as they press their wrist to my mouth once more. I can't help but drink, knowing my life depended on it. Even so, I hated myself for it.

Their blood tastes good and is always high quality, considering her physique and health. They were always so accepting of me but I hate taking from her. I can't bring myself to hurt her.

Eventually, once I gain enough strength, I lean back and look up at her, my voice weak as I start talking, "I'm sorry. Im so sorry." My hands shake as I hold her arm, putting pressure on her wound, "Forgive me please. I was stupid. I will do any-"

"Vinnie." Rome cuts me off, "It's okay. Please don't apologize for letting me help you." They leaned in, kissing me gently, leaving a blood stain on their upper lip, "I would do it more if you let me. I would let you have all of it if it meant saving you."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, letting her clean the blood from my mouth.

"I forgive you. Now lets get you some rest."

----

Taglist: @tildeathiwillwrite @whumperofworlds

#writing #snake writing #whump #whump writing #vampire whump #whumpee POV #vampire whumpee #dizziness #guilt #whumpee x caretaker

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urcharactersclasspect · 6 months ago

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this is gonna be a weird one, and i know you don't classpect real people but im. very curious about what the hell happened on my classpect journey.

so as a kid i was a rogue of hope, and i was very proud of that. years later, i get back into homestuck, take quizzes again and im... a maid of life? i mean, sure, i can see that.

i take new quizzes today and apparently im either sylph of light or heart.

what does this mean??? ive been trying to decipher from your blog and others what being either one of these aspects means to and for me. ive tried mixing and matching all the classes and aspects ive gotten over the years but it's all left me so confused. im hoping that if i send you this and you see my string of results SOMETHING will make sense out of it

Soo I think I made a very loose post on this type of thing for myself forever ago (maybe around the start of the blog?)

My own journey to figure shit out was something like this:

Maid of Blood > Sylph of Breath > Knight of Space > Thief of Heart > Knight of Life > Maid of Mind > Mage of Mind > Mage of Light

I even thought Rogue of Light sort of fit me, to a degree. or Knight.

But Im genuinely the most comfortable as Mage. It fits way too much (if it wasnt already completely obvious lol)

A classpect journey can take seemingly forever to come to a comfortable conclusion for yourself on, if you get into it more. I cant possibly know you more than you know yourself. Nor can anyone else! The best way to come to a more weeded out conclusion is higher quality tests on it. For me. The best way to come to a fitting conclusion (or at least to come closer to where I needed to get to) was the classic, The Celebration & Bells Test.

This test is, by far, possibly the best test to sort out your Class. You can take the Aspect part or not from this. The class itself is likely the most important though and arguably, the trickiest thing to fully decide on for most. The only reason I say you can take or leave the aspect you get from this one, is because in my opinion, it suffers from 1 thing. Which is that it seems to have a Aspect residual bias, meaning whichever Aspect is your result on this, might be via someone elses around you's aspect vibes rubbing off on you, not your exact aspect. (This could be a thing with extended zodiac too though, keep it in mind).

For Aspect, I recommend of course, the obvious. The Extended Zodiac by Andrew Hussie himself.

With these two tests I want you to do 2 things.

You will need to take the Bells test twice. You will need to take the Extended Zodiac 4 times. 1 with your primary Zodiac in mind, one with your favourite colour of the 12 in mind and after this, wait a week then try to do it again twice like that. If you wanna get spicy, Do this a 5th time and do this again in a month afterwards.

Do the Bells test once before the Extended part. Then again when youre doing the extended again the week later. What Classes did you get from Bells? What Aspects did you get from the Extended? If you get a class more than once, that's probably your class or something close to it (perhaps an inversion of the class you get).

Look at the moons you get: Did you get prospit more on your Extended Results? Derse? Whichever ones had that most, is likely closer to the real aspect you are. Stick to that moon.

That out of the way, in my personal thought process on what looks like is going on here is that you might be a Heart player struggling with a somewhat typical heart player indecisiveness on the matter. I cant exactly tell you class, though. Or whats happening here- It might just be a simple mistake of using the older classpecting tests that arent as well-made as others are due to being outdated or simply a lot more watered down in details on this sort of thing (Not everyones crazy like me and other classpectors who go on tirades on this topic afterall lol). Or you COULD be just a light player going through the mess of deciphering yourself out. It happens, for sure. And id say the most common thing to get snagged on is if youre really a light player or not based on Light player common issues.

A classpecting journey whether for funsies or for an analysis on yourself in more detail, is one thats very personal. You can really only sort through suggestions and parse out what you think seems the absolutely most fitting thing.

#long post #classpecting

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chains-of-destiny · 1 year ago

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Hello!! Okay so ROs reaction to MC being asked out in front of them..? (crushing stage vs. relationship stage)

I might have asked this before if I have ignore me lol I'm on a ask trip again and this is one of my fav questions 💜

Hope you are doing well!!!

Hey! Sorry for not answering sooner, I spent some time pondering how to best summarize their reaction, but I just couldn't describe them in simple terms, so I decided to make short scenes for them to give a general idea. This was a nice breath of fresh air as I was focused on the main story for so long, so thank you for this ask!

As always, keep in mind that everything is subject to change, but I think the basic foundations are set in stone already. These scenes are unpolished and may have more than a few mistakes in there (and ignore my frequent switches between past and present tenses, sometimes I myself don't understand what I'm doing :D).

Oh yeah, and thanks. I'm doing good, just eager to wrap up the first part of Chapter 2!

Elaine:

-Crushing

Elaine sat alone in the corner of the tavern, nursing a mug of ale and brooding over her thoughts. The raucous laughter and clinking of mugs filled the air, but it was nothing more than a dull hum in her ears. Her attention was on the stranger who had just approached the MC with a blatant disregard for her presence. Her piercing eyes followed every movement, every gesture as if she could will the stranger to disappear with the intensity of her gaze alone. Elaine felt an unfamiliar pang, a sensation that twisted in the pit of her stomach. She bit her lower lip, her thoughts swirling in a tumultuous mix of confusion, irritation, and a hint of something she refused to acknowledge. 'Why do I care?' The question lingered, uninvited, as she eyed the stranger standing too close to the MC. 'Why should it bother me if the MC entertained the company of a stranger?' The stranger leaned in closer, a coy smile playing on their lips as they whispered something into the MC's ear. Elaine could see the genuine surprise flicker across the MC's face as they hesitated. The world seemed to slow down as she held her breath, her heart pounding in her chest. The air seemed thick with unspoken tension, her grip on her mug tightening. Elaine's eyes never left the MC, a mix of confusion and irritation flickering in their depths. 'Just say no. Say no and let this be over, so I can go back to being happily irritated by your presence.' The MC's refusal released a subtle sigh from Elaine, a relief she couldn't comprehend. But the confusion persisted. 'Why does it matter to me?' She couldn't understand why she felt an inexplicable tension, but the urge to lash out was stronger than ever. With a frustrated huff, Elaine's hand slammed down on the wooden table, causing her mug to rattle and spill a few drops of ale. The sharp sound caught the attention of the MC, who turned to look at Elaine with surprise written all over their face. The stranger, too, glanced in her direction before quickly retreating to the other side of the tavern. "You have an uncanny talent for attracting fools, it seems," Elaine spat out, her voice dripping with venom like poison from a snake's fangs. Yeah, this is good, this is better. "Try not to attract any more stray dogs, or I might have to put them down myself."

-Relationship

Elaine's body tenses as the stranger asks the question, her eyes narrowing into sharp slits. Without missing a beat, she steps in closer to the MC, her fingers delicately intertwining with theirs. The touch is both reassuring and playful. With a mischievous glint in her eye, she echoes the stranger's question, her voice laced with a challenging undertone. "So, what do you say, MC?" she teases with a sly smile. Her confidence radiates through her every word as she leans in even closer, breath warm against MC's ear as she adds, "I do believe they're waiting for an answer."

Renna

-Crushing

Renna stands casually by the MC's side, observing them talking to a stranger who interrupted her storytelling. The stranger seems quite interested, judging by the way they lean in eagerly and the genuine smile on their face. Suddenly, the stranger extends their hand towards the MC, a shy smile playing on their lips "W-would you care to accompany me to the festival this evening?" their voice trembles slightly, their cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink. Renna raises an eyebrow, amusement dancing in her eyes. Without missing a beat, she slings an arm around the MC, grinning at the stranger. "Sorry, love, but we're on a tight schedule. Next time, maybe," she says smoothly, pulling the MC a little closer. Every inch makes Renna's heart beat a little faster as if trying to keep pace with the excitement coursing through her veins. 'Damn, I must be imagining things,' Renna thought to herself, trying to ignore the fluttering butterflies in her stomach. The stranger quickly withdraws their hand, disappointment flashing across their face. "O-Of course! No problem at all. Maybe another time, then." they stutter before giving a small nod and walking away, shoulders slumped. Renna's grin widens as she watches the stranger walk away, their dejection evident in each slow, reluctant step. Renna's arm remains draped over the MC's shoulder, her fingers absentmindedly tracing delicate patterns on the fabric of their cloak. She tilts her head to look at the MC, playfully poking them on the cheek. "Looks like you've got admirers." Renna teases, "Just be careful, I might get jealous."

-Relationship

Renna doesn't wait for the MC to respond before she interjects with a playful smirk. "Impressed, are you?" she teases, her arm snaking around the MC's waist. "Well, keep dreaming. This one's all mine." She shoots the stranger a challenging look, her eyes glinting with amusement. The stranger stammers out an apology and quickly retreats. Renna chuckles triumphantly, her grip on the MC tightening slightly as they continue on their way. Another victory to add to her collection.

Iris

-Crushing

Iris blinks, her usually calm eyes widening in surprise as a stranger suddenly barges into their conversation uninvited. She had been in the middle of telling the MC about an exciting tidbit she heard from a friend, but now her words trailed off, forgotten, as the stranger's unexpected presence stole all the attention. "Um," Iris stammered, her cheeks flushing with a delicate shade of pink as she nervously fidgeted with the hem of her dress. She desperately tried to get their attention, but all her efforts went unnoticed as the stranger continued talking, their voice drowning out any attempt she made to speak. This blatant disregard for her presence was rude and infuriating. It was supposed to be her moment to share something interesting with the MC, but now she felt like an afterthought. "Excuse me," Iris loudly interjected, her gaze unwavering and her brows furrowed in annoyance. She tried her best to look intimidating. Her father once told her that animals can make themselves look bigger by puffing up their fur or feathers. Maybe humans can do the same. So she puffed out her chest and stood a little taller than her petite frame allowed. The stranger's eyes finally flickered to Iris, acknowledging her existence. 'Don't look away, don't look away. Just hold your ground, Iris. You're strong.' She repeated like a mantra in her head as every muscle in her body tensed up. Despite her fear, Iris mustered up every ounce of courage she had and cleared her throat. "We were having a conversation!" The stranger snorted and glanced back at the MC, a smirk playing on their lips. "I will return later then," they said nonchalantly, their eyes lingering on the MC. "when you're not so busy." "Good!" Her voice came out stronger than she expected, bolstered by the rush of adrenaline pumping through her veins. She crossed her arms tightly across her chest, trying to contain the irritation bubbling within her as the stranger disappeared into the crowd. "Did you see that? They completely ignored me, like I wasn't even here! How can someone be so rude and arrogant at the same time? It's infuriating!" Her lips formed a pout as she vented her frustration into the open air. But then reality hit her like a wave crashing against the shore. 'No, no, no. I was the rude one all along. I interrupted their conversation without a second thought, demanding attention and making a scene like a child throwing a tantrum.' Her cheeks burned with shame at how foolish and selfish she had been. 'What will the MC think of me now?' Iris's stomach twisted with guilt as she replayed the scene in her mind. She hadn't meant to be rude, she never intended to hurt anyone's feelings. But it didn't matter now. She had to make this right and apologize urgently. She couldn't let things end like this. "I-I'm sorry," Iris stammered, her voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't want to cause any trouble or anything." "I have to make it right. I will apologize to them as soon as possible," she blurted out, her words coming out in a rush. Iris's anxiety began to churn in her stomach, tying knots tighter and tighter. "I will be back in but a minute." The MC said something to her, but she was already running through the crowd, clutching the ends of her dress tightly to keep from tripping. Iris rushed after the stranger, her petite figure struggling to keep up with their brisk pace. "Wait! Please, wait!" she called out, her voice laden with genuine remorse. But the crowd seemed to swallow their figure, and the stranger vanished into the sea of faces. 'Oh no, what have I done?'

-Relationship

Iris blinked in surprise as she watched the scene unfold before her. The MC was standing just a few feet away, engaged in conversation with someone she didn't recognize. She felt a pang of curiosity as she strained her ears, trying to catch snippets of what was being said. Her mother told her that it's not polite to listen in on other people's conversations, but Iris simply couldn't help it. Besides, her beloved wouldn't hide anything from her, so it's okay. Right? Her heart sank when she heard the words that made her stomach churn. It felt like someone had knocked the air out of her lungs. She could see the surprise written all over the MC's face as well, and it only added to Iris's anxiety. Iris desperately wanted to intervene, but it wouldn't be right for her to barge in. It would be really inconsiderate of her, not to mention disrespectful. She knew she needed to trust the Mc to handle the situation on their own. But that didn't stop her from feeling a knot of worry twist in her chest. 'What if the MC says yes? They wouldn't do that to me...would they?' Her hands clenched into tight fists, knuckles turning white as she fought the urge to run over and interrupt the conversation. 'No, stop Iris, calm down. Mc is a good person, they have always been so kind and understanding to you. They wouldn't do something to intentionally hurt you.' She is absolutely sure of that. ... ... ... ...But- The stranger's expression suddenly shifted, revealing a flash of disappointment across their features. With a gentle smile and a nod, they turned to leave. Iris couldn't stand it any longer, her body aching with the need to finally do something, to move. Her heart raced in her chest as she rushed over to the MC's side, steps quick and eager. "Hey there, MC!" Iris exclaimed, trying to keep her voice light and casual despite the frantic thoughts racing through her mind. "I've been looking for you everywhere. I mean, I didn't exactly think you'd be here, but... um... hi!" She reached out for MC's hand, feeling their fingers slide easily into hers, fitting like puzzle pieces. Her gaze met theirs, filled with hopeful uncertainty, and she couldn't help but smile, her own worry dissipating in the warmth of their touch.

Zenon

Although I would like to make a scene for him, too, I think he wouldn't intervene like the others did. In the crushing state, he would probably deem his affection a lost cause at the first sign of someone approaching the MC, and all he would do is hope that the MC didn't accept the offer. In a relationship, he would trust the MC enough to let them handle the situation without intervention, and he would probably rush to the MC's side immediately after, just like Iris did. Still, he would be much more subtle in figuring out what has happened.

Barnabas

-Crushing

Barnabas's blood boiled like a pot left to simmer too long, threatening to burst from his veins. The sound of voices and laughter filled the room, but he could only see MC standing there, talking to another person before him. He is not an idiot, neither is he humble enough to lie. A lot of people threw themselves at him before. He knew the signs, and he knew the game. The way the stranger smiled, the way their eyes sparkled when they talked to the MC—it was clear they were interested. And it drove Barnabas insane. Before he knew it, he was already moving towards MC, unable to focus on anything else. He probably bumped into some people on his way, but he didn't care. They didn't matter to him. They were insignificant, just obstacles in his path. As Barnabas reached them, his lips stretched into a painfully wide grin that twitched slightly at the edges as he fought to contain his simmering anger. "My friend!" He casually slung an arm around the intruder as if they were old friends. He had never seen that person in his life, but he didn't care. "Uh... hey," they greeted cautiously, clearly taken aback by Barnabas's sudden intrusion. "I was just searching for you," Barnabas continued, his voice dripping with false sweetness. "Isn't it a coincidence that I found you here?" "Have we...have we met before?" the intruder questioned, their eyes darting nervously between Barnabas and MC. Barnabas chuckled, "No, no, we haven't, but I saw the way you were talking to my friend here, so I thought: 'Why don't I introduce myself?'" He tightened his grip around the intruder's shoulder, his arm slowly moving to wrap around their neck. His fingers curled tightly against the soft flesh, applying just enough pressure to make them uncomfortable. "I believe that I'm a man of mercy," Barnabas said in a low, dangerous tone. "So I will tell you this once." He begins steadily applying pressure to the intruder's neck, making it harder for them to breathe. Their eyes widened in panic, their hands instinctively clawing at Barnabas's arm in a feeble attempt to free themselves. "If I ever catch you talking to my friend again," Barnabas's voice, while smooth like silk, held a hint of twisted amusement, "I won't be so merciful next time. Understand?" The intruder gasped for breath, nodding frantically as their face turned a shade of crimson. Barnabas chuckled, letting his hold stay there for a little bit for added effect. After a moment, he released his grip with a flourish, stepping back with a satisfied smirk. The intruder stumbled backward, clutching their throat as they gasped for air. He could see them searching for a way out like their life depended on it, probably because it did. Stupid pig. Barnabas should have snapped his neck on the spot, but that would be too much of a mess. Besides, the Mc might not appreciate such a thing, and for some reason, Barnabas cared about that. He couldn't explain why he felt the need to keep Mc happy, but there was something about them that amused him. Their antics were strange but not entirely unpleasant. No, this punishment would do just fine - a lesson in obedience and respect that this intruder sorely needed to learn. They quickly turned tail and fled, stumbling over their feet in their scramble to escape Barnabas. "Bye!" Barnabas called out cheerfully, a wide grin spreading across his face as he waved at the intruder's retreating figure. He turned his face to the Mc, his grin still wide. "It's so great when we all understand each other, nay MC?"

-Relationship

Barnabas glanced across the room, his eyes narrowing as he watched the scene unfold. The faintest hint of a scowl tugged at the corners of his lips, but he quickly smothered it, maintaining his composed facade. He had always known that the MC was desirable; their personality and beauty were impossible to ignore. He himself had fallen under their spell too much already to be able to escape it. But seeing someone dare to ask them out in his presence as if they were oblivious to the fact that the MC was already taken ignited something that was hard to suppress. 'No, not now, Barnabas. The Mc surely wouldn't want you to make a scene.' After all, he trusted the Mc, didn't he? He will not intervene. He will let the Mc deal with the situation on their own. ...Ah, who does he think he is kidding? His eyes bore into the back of the unsuspecting intruder, his mind already spinning with wicked thoughts of retribution as he began walking towards them. The sheer audacity of thinking they could steal the MC away right in front of him. Didn't this imbecile realize whose territory they were so brazenly encroaching on? Barnabas smirked, a sinister glimmer dancing in his eyes as he closed the distance between himself and the intruder. But as his eyes locked with his beloved's, a surge of warmth and longing flooded through him, weakening his resolve. Only for a split second, though. His hands moved like snakes to wrap around the MC's waist as he approached from behind, pulling them close against his chest. "Got you," he purred, his voice low. "Who is your friend?" he asked, his tone dangerously sweet. The intruder turned to face Barnabas, caught off guard by his sudden appearance. A nervous chuckle escaped their lips as they stumbled over their words. "Uh, h-hey, I was just going." "No, no need to rush off," Barnabas said, a strange blend of affection and menace underlying his words. "I insist, I'm Barnabas," he said, extending his hand towards the intruder. The intruder hesitated for a moment before reluctantly accepting the handshake. "Uuuh, a strong grip you have," Barnabas remarked, maintaining eye contact with them. "Did you consider joining the army? I'm quite well-connected, you see. I could make sure you're well taken care of." The intruder's eyes widened, confusion and fear flickering across their face. "Uh, no, thank you," they stammered, trying to pull their hand away from Barnabas' firm grip. Barnabas kept his grip steady for a moment longer, savoring the feeling before finally loosening his hold. "Too bad," he replied with a hint of disappointment, "because I insist on taking care of those close to me." Barnabas gazed at the Mc with warm affection in his eyes, gently taking their hand and intertwining their fingers with his. "Was there something you needed to discuss with my MC?" "No, no, it's nothing important," the intruder muttered, hastily backing away. "I'll just... leave you two to it." With a nervous smile, they made their way towards the exit, clearly relieved to be out of Barnabas' presence. As soon as the intruder was out of earshot, Barnabas turned his full attention back to the MC, a warm smile spreading across his face. "I think that went well enough."

#chains of destiny #ask #ros

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boggsart · 9 months ago

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EXCUSE ME who told you you’re talking too much about your art?? Dude that’s the part I love most!! I like hearing about how you struggled to get it where you wanted, or how much the tools you’re working with frustrated you, but you got to a place you were happy with anyway.

I don’t know anything about 3d animation, and I know even less about game design. So it’s really important for me that you describe your process and how much work you had to do because it your work context. I’m sorry anybody made you feel like that wasn’t valuable. I’d argue that’s more valuable than the finished work itself!!

I always love seeing your posts pop up on my dash. And Wolffe and the 104th look absolutely fantastic in the newest one!! If you don’t mind me asking, what were some of the weird issues you ran into in the 104th’s one, and what makes them different issues from the ones you ran into before?

Thank you so much for all the kind words, but to be completely honest, they are kinda right. I think any artist can relate to the feeling of being too critical towards your own work. I tend to overexaggerate mistakes, or point out issues that aren't even really noticable to someone that knows little about this field. But at the same time, i always have a vision of how i'd like my current work to look like, and when i don't meet my own expectations (which i rarely do), that's when i start yapping. Well there were some minor ones, like noticing how some of the armors were not modeled accurately( like around the shoulder part of the chest piece, it's completely missing that part where it connects the front to the back, elbow pieces are way too big, helmets were also not modeled accurately, etc). I also completely messed up the rigging process, thus giving myself so much more work when animating. There are always certain body parts that just go into eachother (lower arm going into the upper arm when it's bent, feet going into the floor, hands going into the chest, etc) that could have been easily avoidable if i took the time to make a proper rig for my models.

There are also always some texturing mistakes, or wrongly placed focal points i notice once the final render is done. In this one, once all of the characters come up, and the camera starts zooming in on their faces, the focal point was placed too far, resulting in some parts of the helmets looking blurrier, than they should look. Since renders take a whole lot of time, i always try to fix this by putting the final renders into a 3rd party AI upscaling program, instead of going back to place it correctly, then re render it. That's probably a crappy workflow, but if this project wouldn't have a deadline that's approaching WAY TOO QUICKLY, and i wouldn't have a lot more stuff to model and animate, i would do the latter. At the same time, i probably should just pay more attention before hitting the render button lol. Also, the movements of the characters sometimes look way too stiff, and don't have that fluidity to them. I haven't been animating for long, so here's the reason for that, at the same time tho, i'm noticing some impovements when comparing the recent piece to my first animation. These are the problems i'm running into most of the time. In the recent one though, if you look closely, once Wolffe goes into his stance (after the commander Wolffe text disappeares) there's some weird black flickering going on around his chest/belly area, that for the love of God, i could not fix. Sometimes the particle system can cause some really interesting issues, that most of the time can be fixed by baking the dynamics. Since i did that (multiple times, deleting them, then re baking) and the issue persisted, i started to think either the shaders, or the particle system+volumetric fog combo was causing this problem. I also use a s*** ton of REALLY powerful lights, with the power constantly changing throughout the entire animation, that could also be causing this issue (i think?) I tried re-placing the cube that's making the volumetric fog, tried placing the lights and camera slightly elsewhere, but nothing worked, so i just decided to leave it as it is. The super slow mo parts are being made in the Non Linear Animation editor, which is... just as confusing as it sounds lol. Making the slow mo parts sometimes causes the blasters to disappear then reappear at the wrong time. The way grabbing the blasters then putting them away works is by having one blaster that's always parented to one hand, and one, that's always parented to the holster, and you change the visibility accordingly. (the moment the character pulls the blaster out of the holster, both blasters have to be perfectly alligned so the change in visibility doesn't have a weird jump in it) The visibility itself gets an action strip on its own, and it's hard to line them up correctly once you chopped up all your other strips and scaled them to make them slow motion. Because if the armature's action strip gets chopped up and scaled to make the movement slow motion, then everything else that has movement linked to it has to as well. So lights, the camera, the empty axes that the camera is parented to, and the blasters as well. This could be achieved by just placing the keyframes further apart from eachother, but i found this method to be somewhat simpler.

I'm probably doing this the wrong way though and could just place the keyframes accordingly without pushing the blaster action down to the NLA editor (cuz after all it's just visibility, not slow motion movement the blaster has). Though i have some really cool ideas with blasters in the upcoming animations, that would probably require to have them as NLA strips. Or maybe not, and everything i'm doing and talking about is bullshit, and isn't the way it should be done, and i really hope someone, that's in the industry doesn't read this and go "what the f is this woman talking about" lol. Basically everything about animating confuses the hell out of me, and i'm always doing stuff on the trial and error basis. So i hope one day i'll be able to learn it properly haha See, i'm yapping way too much after all. And i'm sorry for the long answer, but i'm really really passionate about this. And it actually feels so nice to know that there are people out there that care. 💖💖

#boggs answers

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alsjeblieft-zeg · 22 days ago

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059 of 2025

What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now?

I really, really hope that my dad will be successfully cured from cancer. This is the most important thing for me now.

What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected?

Going back to work.

Name somewhere you are planning on visiting in the near future?

Somewhere in Wallonia, probably. Or first choice is De Klinge and Sinaai.

How often do you go grocery shopping and how much food do you usually get in one go?

Once a week, we spend about 150€. We take food for the whole week, obviously. There are 3 of us in the house.

What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot?

My choices vary, but one thing I eat all the time is yogurts. Also, flavoured milk, but it's rather a drink.

When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone?

Probably years ago, but I have a trouble explaining what I feel anyway.

What was the last thing you changed your mind about?

Sex work, but not on personal level (I mean I wouldn't do it at all), but then, it was years ago, nothing recent.

Who was the last friend you saw, and what did you do together?

My husband lol, we went to the city to send a package.

Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else’s dreams?

Mostly my husband, sometimes I dream about looking for that little train dude.

What is something you wish you could say to someone who is no longer in your life, or something you wish they could know?

It was a mistake. Simple as that.

Instead of flat earth, what do you think of the simulated earth theory, that we’re basically all just a giant computer program or virtual reality?

Oh my God, really?

What worries you most about your future?

My health, or our workplace closing. I hope we win that new contract.

What is something you do to feel better when you’re scared?

Distract myself and pet my cat.

Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more?

My sister, no doubts. My dad and my husband are the closest, too, and I wish I could count on my mum more.

What makes you trust someone? When was the last time someone broke your trust?

When someone can keep secrets, it makes them trustworthy. Last time my trust was broken was last year, I think in May or June. Ex-friend, you know.

When was the last time you shared a secret with someone, and how did they react?

My sister, long time ago. She was enthusiastic and accepting.

Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it?

Neither, but if I have to choose, then ask. I'm not good at giving advice.

When was the last time you felt totally lost, figuratively speaking? How about literally?

I can't remember.

In what ways are you emotionally strong? In what ways are you emotionally weak?

I'm emotionally strong in general, nothing will truly break me. I never lose hope. I always hope for the best.

What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it?

La petite fille qui avait avalé un nuage grand comme la tour Eiffel (The Little Girl Who Swallowed A Cloud As Big As The Eiffel Tower) by Romain Puértolas. It wasn't a bad book, but I couldn't finish it because the language was too exaggerated. Also, the story was just bizarre.

Do you prefer to watch movies or tv alone or with other people? Is there anything you refuse to watch alone?

Alone, because I watch a lot of Polish TV and no one else in the house understands what I'm watching XD

What was the last thing you broke? How about fixed?

Shower head holder, last week. Last thing I fixed was the same holder, 1 minutes later.

Is there a sign or symbol that means a lot to you for whatever reason (eg. seeing certain animals or birds, 11:11 or other repeating numbers, syncs, butterflies, hearts in nature, etc)?

No, I can't think of anything.

Do you have any personal ghost stories or paranormal experiences?

No, I don't.

What do you get complimented on the most?

Intelligence and technical/manual skills.

What is something unusual that you find attractive?

Probably long noses.

What time do you tend to eat your first meal of the day? And your last?

Around 9:00, same as my break at work starts.

What was the subject of the last video you watched?

Cats doing ekekek.

When was the last time you traveled out of town, and where to?

Yesterday, to Oostende and back.

How would you describe your overall aesthetic?

Metalhead with goth twist.

#survey #random survey #q&a survey

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burninlovebutler · 2 years ago

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29 - Be My Mistake* // Forever Winter Series

pairing: austin x fem!oc | word count: 5.9k-ish

summary: austin finds himself caught up in a whirlwind love affair with his chosen distraction. as his addiction worsens, the rose colored glasses begin to fog & his grip on control begins to wane.

warnings/notes: aspen lol, agitated!austin, smut, p n v (unprotected), pulling out ~toaster strudel vibes~, fluffy?, exchange of fun words, hints at SA (past, vague), substance use (weed, pills), addiction, short time skips, inherently saaaad u know the drill, plsss don’t be mad at me🫣, 18+ ONLY MDNI

previous chapter -> 28 - Temporary Fix*

see masterlist for chapter log + all other fics

vibes -> fw playlist❄️

And be my mistake, then turn out the light She bought me those jeans, the ones you like

I don't want to hug, I just want to sleep The smell of your hair, reminds me of her feet

You do make me hard, but she makes me weak

-AUSTIN-

I pressed my back against my front door to click it closed and let out a heavy sigh. My middle finger and thumb pinched the bridge of my nose trying to alleviate the tension headache building behind my skull.

What the fuck had I just done?

I did what I set out to do. What I agreed to do.

If I wanted to keep my dirty little secret from her, I needed to follow through. I just didn’t think it would hurt this much – I didn’t think I’d hurt her that much. But the band aid was ripped off and I didn’t want to think of what would come next. The mere idea of losing her - my best friend – it was too much. I needed to numb it out.

Using my right foot, I kicked myself off the door and mentally prepared myself for what I was about to walk into.

“What the fuck was that about?” Spreading my arms out in exasperation when I walked back to Aspen in my bedroom. “I thought we were on the same page.”

“We are.” She confirmed, dropping her arms to her sides. “I don’t care who you fuck, but it just pissed me off how hypocritical she was being. It’s fucked up of her to show up here jealous over you, when she’s the one with a boyfriend.”

“Did what she say upset you?” I asked, ignoring her accusation of Elsie being jealous.

“The fact that you ditched me at the party to hook up with your best friend then called me afterwards?” Her voice not nearly as pissed as you’d think. “Yeah, that’s pretty fucking shitty Austin. But just as basic decency – not because I'm in love with you.”

“Look – you’re right. I’m sorry. It was a shitty thing to do.” I stepped towards her and took her hands into my own. “Okay? I’m sorry. Can we just forget this happened?”

Chocolate brown eyes glanced up at me, anger flowed into playfulness, “Sure Aus.” She cooed with a wide smile.

The nickname sprung another tinge of pain in my stomach, nicknames were something only Elsie was ever allowed to use. Hearing another girl say them felt forbidden, as if it was some vile curse word you would only hear in snuff films.

“You’re not gonna chase after her?” She questioned, unfazed, crossing the floor to pluck an orange pill bottle from my nightstand.

“What?” I replied, surprised that she’d ask such a thing. I’d never met a girl like her, nothing seemed to really bother her. She must’ve been just as fucked up as me.

“Elsie? The girl that just ran out of your apartment?” She stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She scanned the pill bottle she picked up, then set it down for another one.

I wanted to run after her, I really fucking did. My insides felt like they were being ripped to pieces, like I ran my intestines through a paper shredder. But I accomplished exactly what I set out to do – push her away. “No, why would I do that?” I made my way over to her, curious as to what she was analyzing.

“Because you’re in love with her.” The words left her mouth effortlessly, not a hesitation, stutter, or hiccup. She twisted the white cap off the prescription bottle with a crack and poured two white bar-shaped pills from the container. She lifted her hand with an offer, “Want one?”

It took a moment to wrap my head around what she just said. She spoke it with such conviction, like it was a well-known fact. Like it was as obvious as the sky being blue or grass being green. A terrifying thumping pit fell into my chest, similar to one you’d get as a kid when you were on the verge of getting caught misbehaving. I shook my head with a small laugh, waving away the mere suggestion, “I’m not in love with her.”

“Whatever you say buddy.” She shrugged, taking a bar and snapping it in half with her front teeth, swallowing it dry, offering me the other half again. “If you’re not in love with her, then she’s definitely in love with you.”

I rolled my eyes at her and stole the half pill, using an overnight glass of water to swig it down. “She’s not in love with me, you must still be high.”

She let out a chuckle at my words, “See? You can’t even say her name.”

“I’m not-” I mentally winced at the involuntary stutter and let out an exhausted sigh. “I’m not in love with Elsie”

She gave me a skeptical ‘sure’ look with raised brows, “Mhm, whatever ya say babe.” Plopping on the bed, dangling her feet off the edge. “Just means I get ya for a bit longer.” Her full lips curled into a content grin.

My first instinct was to ask what exactly that meant, but I didn’t want to prolong the unnecessary conversation.

“Wait a minute,” Her brows furrowed, some realization clicking in her head and picked up another pill bottle, reading it once more. A booming laugh erupted from her, “Your last name is Butler?”

My eyes rolled again already knowing what was coming, “C’mon get it out of your system.”

She kicked her legs and fell back onto the bed, “You gonna fetch me dinner Butler?”

“Yep.” I nodded and sucked my teeth, hearing the same thing I’ve heard my whole life. “Mhm, let it out.”

“What about my laundry? You better separate my lights from darks.” She giggled, deep dimples denting her cheeks.

“Alright alright,” I readjusted on the bed, flipping to be on top of her, “That’s quite enough don’t ya think?” Pinning her arms at each side of her head, she reflexively tugged her head to the side to yank the blonde strands I had landed on.

She continued to laugh, “Ya know, an act like this might get ya fired.”

“Oh my god, shut up.” Her laughter was contagious, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

She stilled beneath me, her giggles fading, and hazelnut eyes lined with long lashes blinked up at me softly, “Make me.”

My gaze lingered on her. She was so beautiful when she was completely stripped down like she was then. Her features were so soft and feminine, gentle slopes for cheekbones adorned with deep valley dimples and a button nose. If she wore less glittery makeup and didn’t want to dye her hair pink, she could easily be a Victoria’s Secret model.

“You’re so pretty, you know that?” I voiced my thoughts.

She blushed and waved me away, “Oh shut up.” She giggled.

“Make me.” I turned the command back on her like some sort of power game.

She took the bait, taking my face in her delicate hands, seemingly analyzing my face the way I did hers. She drew her thumb across my cheekbone before pulling me down into a kiss. The more I kissed her, the less guilty I felt. Though, I wasn’t sure I’d ever not have some inexplicable guilt looming in the background.

Her fingers tangled into my wavy locks that were in desperate need of a trim and took the initiative of swiping her tongue across my bottom lip for entrance. My fingertips grazed under her thighs bringing them around my hips as our tongues danced together. She locked her legs around me pulling me against her core which I forgot was still only covered with lacy panties. I pulled from her lips and dropped my head into the curve of her neck to let out a low groan from the friction against my hardening cock. My hands trailed up under the borrowed shirt along her sides and he whined softly, “Aus.”

I drew away to look at her when she covered her face with her arm shyly, a stark contrast to her usually confident sex appeal. “Hey,” I said softly, trailing my fingers up her sides, “What’s wrong? You okay?”

She moved her wrist to cover her forehead, blush feathered across her cheeks. “Yeah… I don’t know, I don’t think I’m high yet.”

“Oh, um,” I pulled my lip between my teeth, “Well we can stop if you want or I don’t really…”

“No no, it’s okay.” Her smile pulled a little too tight, “It’s okay, we can keep going.”

Something about this scene gave a sort of, déjà vu moment. It reminded me of that New Year’s Eve night with Elsie, where she didn’t want me to take off her dress but told me to anyway, if that’s what I wanted. But this was a side of Aspen I’d never seen, she was never shy with sex or with her body for that matter. “Did I do something wrong? I really didn’t mean to upset you.” My hand found her thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“No, no you didn’t. I just – I don’t know, it’s hard for me to um,” She cleared her throat, “Sex is hard for me when I’m sober. I just,” She pressed her lips together and diverted her eyes, “It’s- actually, don’t worry about it, it’s not a big deal.” Waving away the topic, her grin wide but her eyes dim.

“No, no because it’s obviously a big deal ‘Pen, what’s wrong?”

She propped herself up on her elbows, blonde strands cascading down her shoulder, “It’s really not a big deal we can just continue, it’s fine.” Her tone light and rather dismissive.

“’Pen there’s obviously something wrong I’m not just gonna keep going if you’re uncomfortable. You can tell me, okay?” I brought my hand to her face and gently placing a knuckle beneath her chin. “I wanna know so I can be more careful.”

Aspen exhaled deeply, “The guys at work can sometimes be… forceful.” Her eyes trailed off, focusing on the wall behind me. “And some of them don’t like the word no.” She stated quietly before reaching my eyes again, “It can be kind of triggering? I guess? To do stuff when I’m sober. Being high really helps with that.”

It took me longer than it should’ve for me to really understand what she was saying. It made me so sad for her. Since I was always Elsie’s plus-one to parties, clubs or bars, I’d seen my fair share of inappropriate bullshit from random men. They’d cross boundaries with her, even right in front of me, even when most people would just assume that I was her boyfriend. Of course a literal strip club would be worse, I just never thought of it that way. She never complained about work or any of her clients. I felt like an asshole for it not even crossing my mind. “Oh my god Aspen,” I felt myself involuntarily loosen my grip on her thigh, “I’m so sorry, I never meant to make you feel like that I just I didn’t I don’t-”

She giggled, “Sh sh.” Placing a finger on my rambling lips, “It’s not you, you never make me feel like that.” She said quietly, “It’s okay,” Moving her hand from my lips to cup my cheek, “I feel safe with you.” Her eyes soft and genuine. “I will let you know if I’m having a bad time, okay?”

I nodded, suppressing the urge to ask her once again if she was sure, “Okay, sounds good.” I leaned down and pressed my forehead against hers. “I would never do anything like that to you. I promise. Never ever.”

She folded her top lip over her bottom, “I know. I believe you.” Then dragged her thumb over my cheekbone. “You’ve got such a beautiful soul, you know that?” Her voice was so quiet, barely loud enough for me to hear her. “You’re really beautiful on the outside too.”

Her words took me by surprise, it’s not every day that a guy gets a compliment like that. I’d never had anyone tell me they think I’m beautiful, nonetheless my fucking soul? There was a small, unexpected flutter in my stomach. “Well, thank you.” I replied softly, pressing my lips to hers, “You-” I began but she cut me off with a deeper kiss.

I pulled away again to return the compliment, but she promptly placed two fingers against my lips before I could speak, “You don’t need to say anything back.” Her chestnut brown eyes locked with mine and her voice stern beneath a slight tremble. “When I say things to you, it’s because I mean them – not because I hope you’ll say them back.”

Her words loomed a heaviness that my increasing high couldn’t begin to comprehend. As soon as I nodded, she reeled me back into the kiss, deepening it almost immediately. She wrapped her legs around my hips and drew me down against her core. She disconnected from the kiss, “Please fuck me.”

“You’re gonna drive me insane.” I muttered under my breath before dropping my head in her neck, leaving sloppy kisses behind. I tugged her skin into my mouth with a suck as I began rutting my hips against her heat. She let out small moans every time my cock would roll up against her clit. She dug her nails into my back, “Fuck, Austin, I need you to fuck me.” She mewled.

I continued leaving messy kisses on her neck, focusing one on her sweet spot just below her ear, “I want you to beg for it.” I muttered against her neck and dug my nails into her hips.

“Austin please, please.” She whined, “Fuck, I need your cock so fucking bad.”

My cock twitched at her words, it was almost painful how hard I was. I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed her. I pulled back from her enough to slip my shorts off, letting my cock spring free. Aspen’s eyes tracked my member as she trailed her hand down and slipped beneath her panties, beginning to rub her clit.

The sight of her was driving me crazy. I precariously pushed her panties to the side and slid my tip up through her deliciously wet folds before gradually dipping into her entrance. The minute she felt me inside her, she let out a loud gasp. I slid into her slowly, inch by inch, just to torture her. I let out a groan once I felt myself reach the deepest part of her, “God, you’re so fucking tight.”

The hand that wasn’t working on her clit pushed open the button down she’d borrowed from me, revealing her lace covered breasts. She began kneading her right tit and playing with her hardened nipple over the sheer noir lace.

Control was slipping through my fingers already and it was reflected in my speed. “Fuck.” I muttered, as I propped up her thighs with my hands, using them as an anchor to keep her in place as I slammed in and out of her. Moans and curses poured from her lips the faster I went and the quicker she worked on her clit. “You feel so fucking good.” I groaned, squeezing her thigh and fucked her faster.

“Yeah?” She chewed on her bottom lip, “I like being a cock slut for you.”

In all the time we’d been well, fucking, we’d used words like that plenty before but in light of the information she’d just given me, it made me feel almost guilty for using them. “You do?” The question came out significantly more transparent than intended.

She brought her free hand to my own that was holding up her leg, “I do.” She replied softly and gave my hand a squeeze. “I like it. You know that.” And gave a small giggle reassuring me that it was the truth.

“In that case,” I bent down to continue my work on her neck, trailing short sucking kisses up to her ear. “You like being my little cock slut huh?” I whispered and smirked when I could audibly hear her enjoy the words.

“Yours?” She squeaked quietly.

Thoughtlessly I replied, “Mine.”

Her breathing accelerated, “Aus I’m close.” She whined, wrapping her fist in the excess sheets.

Her moans got louder as I continued to ram into her, “C’mon baby, I want you to fucking cum all over my cock.” I hummed against her neck, but I could feel her still teetering on her own ledge. I gripped her legs tight, “Be a good girl and cum for me, will you?”

It didn’t take much after that for her to reach her finish line, her back arching away from the bed sharply, “Fuck! Austin!”

I pulled myself back upright, tightening my grip on her thighs and drilled into her as she was still riding her high. The knot in my stomach was already threatening to unravel but when her walls began to contract around me, I knew I was dangerously close, “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” It felt like I was dangling from a string that was about to snap, “Fuck, where do you want me to cum?”

“Cum on me,” She answered quickly, brushing her hair off her chest, “Please cum on me?”

“Fuck,” I slammed into her trying to hold out for as long as possible but abruptly pulled out when I felt myself about to cum, “Fuck!” I groaned, pumping my cock until ribbons of cum coated chest and stomach. I rode out my high, leaving her completely covered. “Fuck.” I breathed out, using the back of my clean hand to wipe off sweat from my forehead. “You look so fucking good covered in my cum.”

“Yeah?” She giggled, dragging a finger dangerously close to one of the patches.

“Don’t.” I warned her, with a propped brow.

She slid her finger through the puddle, then plopped it in her mouth. “Mmm.” She teased, “You should fill my mouth instead next time.”

My jaw nearly fell, “Cut that shit out or I’m gonna have to fuck you again.”

She bit down on her thumbnail with a mischievous smile, “Would that be so bad?”

-weeks later-

Aspen and I walked hazily through Manhattan, my arm slung over her shoulders, our steps synced up. It was a rare morning where we weren’t high, just remnants of weed in our system. She had all but moved into my apartment from how often she stayed over. We were on one fuck of a roll. It was so refreshing to be around someone who doesn’t hound you about your choices, someone who made those choices with you.

The blonde leaned into me as she walked, “I’ve been having so much fun with you Aus.”

‘Aus’

No matter how much fun we had, I still hated it coming out her mouth.

“Me too ‘Pen.” My arm curled her closer. “I haven’t had this much fun in a long while.”

It was the truth; I hadn’t felt happy in so long, nonetheless have fun. Probably the last time I let myself have fun was Thanksgiving with Elsie. And even then, it was so tense. But Aspen made it so easy, I didn’t have to hide shit from her or tip toe around anything. It wasn’t complicated or painful, it was just fun.

“Guess we’re just meant for each other then.” She joked, nudging into me. We were on such a high that I didn’t wanna risk having to break her heart. I liked her sure, but I wasn’t in the market for a girlfriend. I wasn’t looking to fall in love, and I liked the casual dynamic we had.

“You haven’t talked about Elsie in a while?” She stated innocently.

I let out a sigh, “Yeah I know – I haven’t spoken to her since…everything.”

She hummed, nodding, “There’s something special about her isn’t there?” Her voice was casual, not happy, sad or jealous.

“Not this again.” I rolled my eyes, “I told you we’re just friends.”

“You don’t gotta put on a show for me Austin, I can see it in your eyes when you look at her.” Not a single trace of anger in her tone. “Hell, I can see it even when I just mention her name.”

I took a moment to gather my answer. I had gone over me and Elsie’s relationship a million times in my head, but each time it was like an ever-growing equation. The more I tried to solve it the less it made sense. “It doesn’t matter,” I stated plainly, keeping my eyes focused on some skyscraper in front of us. “She doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“Sure she does. I can see that too.”

“What are you, some all-seeing oracle?” Shaking my head, “No you just don’t understand, there’s nothin’ there.”

“Austin, if there’s anything I know, it’s girls.” She let out a giggle, “And there’s definitely something there.”

“Whatever, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. It doesn’t matter, we’re – doing whatever we’re doing.”

“Fucking.” She clarified with a playful grin.

I laughed nudging back into her, “No, I really like my time with you. It’s fun.”

“Yeah,” Her tone dropped slightly, “I’m just a lesson girl.” Her eyes fell down to the pavement.

“Huh?” Looking down at her.

“You know,” She shrugged, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her body. “I’m always that girl. The girl you have fun with but not the girl you settle down with. I’m just a lesson; a bridge to that bring-home-to-mom girl.”

The words took me by surprise, and they made me sad for her.

Maybe I could be that for her. Maybe I wanted to be that? The one that doesn’t use her as a lesson.

Or maybe I just felt guilty, seeing as I too planned on being a temporary fix. This all started as a fucked-up game of blackmail after all.

My hand trailed down her arm and tangled our fingers together. I gave her a nudge, “You’re way more than a lesson ‘Pen.” Her girl-next-door brown eyes flickered up at me, “Not to me you aren’t.” She offered a sweet smile, looking like no one ever really gave her the chance to be more than a fuck buddy.

Once back at my loft it took no time for us to go another round. We flipped over on the couch with her propped up on top of me. She bounced on my cock sending a buzzing flare across my skin.

“Fuck.” I groaned, gripping onto her hips, helping to guide her rolling motions.

Small whimpers escaped her each time the head of my member embedded into the deepest part of her core. Her full tits bounced as she rode me, but I needed more. I wrapped my arms around her midsection to keep her place as I rolled my hips up into her, reaching new depths with the angular position.

“Austin!” She cried out, taking my control and took over the riding, this time even more frantic and messy.

The heightened sensation from the weed and whatever else she gave me earlier kicked in driving me dangerously close. “Fuck - you’re gonna make me cum if you don’t slow down.” I grunted through labored breath.

She nodded and fell onto me, her face and whimpers in my neck. “I want your cum baby, cum inside me please.” She begged, her hand working quickly on her clit chasing her own orgasm. From her rapid breathing it seemed she was close too.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” I moaned out, stealing control once more with my arms keeping her in place as I hammered into her in such a heated primal manner, for a brief moment I thought I might split her in two. Her moans and speed on herself matched my own, “Fuck I’m gonna cum.” I grunted, my thrusts into her sloppy and desperate.

As I reached my climax it seemed she did too, now taking over and fucking herself on my twitching cock as it spilled seed into her. Somewhere weaved amongst our curses and moans she uttered words I didn’t expect.

“I love you.”

My eyes widened immediately, and I expected her to stop but she kept going, riding out our highs together. She rode me until I had nothing left to give her. Until she finally fell on the couch next me, breathless.

“God that never gets old,” She exhaled then glanced over me with hooded hazel eyes. “Your dick is too good.” She joked.

I forced a smile in an attempt to act normal, “You ride me too good.” My own chest rising and falling rapidly.

She used the back of her hand to wipe off a layer of sweat from her forehead. “Dickmatized.” She chuckled.

She was pretending nothing happened. Maybe it was just the “dickmatization” – whatever the fuck that means - or the drugs that made her say what she said. Hopefully that was the case.

The words scared the shit out of me.

She stretched over behind us to pluck a half smoked blunt from and ash tray, promptly lighting the end causing a burning crackle. As she put her lips and inhaled it sizzled red at the end. Her back landed next to me again, exhaling a thick puff cloud of smoke above us.

I plucked the brown roll from her fingertips and mimicked her actions. As the puff cloud seeped from my lungs, my eyes followed the swirls of smoke. Aspen’s mention of Elsie from earlier rang like church bells in my head. God, I missed her. I missed her laugh, her smile, our jokes. Even when I was high, I’d want to bring up our inside jokes, jokes that Aspen would never understand. As fucked up as it was, I wish it was Elsie here doing this with me. She stopped smoking with me after my breakdowns and she’d never do the things Aspen and I do. Not that I’d want her to – well, I guess in a selfish way I did. But I’d never let her.

It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t want from Elsie, I ruined everything. She wouldn’t take my calls and I didn’t blame her. Once I get my shit together, I’ll make it up to her. I’ll get sober and I won’t have to hide it from her anymore, I wouldn’t have to stay away anymore. We could go back to normal. I just needed to get this out of my system, like a last hurrah. This would be it. Forever. I’ll get sober and I’ll never touch anything ever again. But right now, I had it under control, and I was just having fun.

“Hey you okay?” The blonde nudged me obviously picking up on my dissociation.

“Yeah, yeah,” I snapped out of it, sitting up a bit. “Just uh- I think I’m coming down, we got anything over there?”

She stretched back over to the side table, holding her tongue between her lips while she focused. I heard a rattle of a bottle and just the noise relieved whatever internal struggle raged inside me. “A client gave me these, but I didn’t like them.” She shrugged, handing me the orange prescription container, “They made me sick, but you might like ‘em.”

I swiped the pad of my thumb across the label, “Thomas George” letting out a chuckle, “What kinda name is Thomas George?” I squinted reading the smaller print to see what exactly she handed me. “Oxycodone.” I read quietly exhaling when I realized what I was holding. “I’ve never tried these.” Looking up at her.

“You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to. I’ve heard that shit’s strong,” She slumped next to me, “But I think we only have coke left.”

That’s the last thing I wanted to hear, so far I liked coke, but I liked pills so much better. “Fuck.” I held the bottle up to my eyeline and shook the pills, the bottle half full.

How different could it be from anything else I’ve taken? It couldn’t be that different, right?

I nodded, “Okay, I’ll be fine right?”

She grinned, tucking a strand of pink behind her ear, “I mean, if it feels good, it can’t be bad right?”

Aspen wasn’t like me – not fully at least. She did drugs for fun, she had an inclination for some and really got stuck on others. But she had some way of not getting fully addicted to anything. I didn’t know how she did it, but it was hard to keep up with her.

But I had kept up so far and I didn’t want her to catch on that I might not have the same talent her. I couldn’t have her be another Elsie, especially after what she just said to me moments ago. I could handle myself, I had it under control, and I didn’t need someone monitoring me. And I didn’t want to end my fun with Aspen prematurely.

“You sure?” I propped a brow up at her.

She shrugged, “It’s up to you babe. I won’t be able to see him for at least a week.”

Just the mention of him, even without his name boiled my blood. I furrowed my brows at her, “Wait why not?”

“O-Oh,” She faltered like I just caught her in some secret, “Um, he’s on a business trip!” Her annunciation peaking up indicating there was something she was hiding.

“I know you’re lying, what is it?”

“I-I well u-um-“ She stuttered.

“Spit it out Aspen!” My voice louder and harsher than I intended, the Xanax comedown was beginning to hit me.

She flinched, “Um, they went on vacation.”

My brows lowered and I felt my pulse rising, “Vacation?”

“Um, yeah it’s uh-“ She looked down playing with her thumbs, “It’s their one year.”

I clenched my jaw, “And where did they go?”

“Uh- I think they went to Cabo?” She winced pulling back from me.

“Cabo!” My voice booming throughout the loft, and I could feel a vein pulse in my forehead.

She shuddered, “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t wanna tell you. I knew it’d upset you.”

Letting out a sigh, I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m sorry ‘Pen.” Softening my tone, “I didn’t mean to yell like that. I’m coming down, okay?”

“It’s okay. I understand, I get like that too.” She kept her eyes down, playing with a stray thread on a pillow.

“Hey,” I picked her chin up to catch her eyes, “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean it. I don’t care about Cabo, I’m just pissed we have to wait for him to get back.” Lying straight through my teeth.

She relaxed her tensed body, “I can try to get something from the girls at work?”

“I’d really appreciate that.” The panic of our low stock and the vision of them on vacation began to overtake my mind. I needed to get it the fuck out. “You got water over there?” I winced at the thumping sound of my new upstairs neighbors, only worsening the pounding in my head.

She nodded and reached over, holding a cold glass of water for me. “Thanks.” Cranking the cap off the bottle with one hand and dropping a white pill in the palm of my hand. I tossed the pill back, taking the cup and swallowing it down with water.

“Now, how can I make it up to you?” I stretched behind us to place the glass down on the wooden side table.

The edges of her mouth curled into a soft smile, “Well we could-”

“Oh my god! What do they have a fucking elephant up there?” Pressing fingers into my pounding temple.

Aspen’s brows furrowed, “What?”

“The neighbors upstairs, it sounds like they’re playing Just Dance with cinderblocks for shoes.” I groaned spreading my digits across my eyebrows trying to ease the ache behind them.

She let out a small chuckle, “Babe I don’t think they’re even home.”

I rolled my eyes, “Are you serious? You haven’t heard them banging around and yelling for the past week?”

“No?” She laughed and nudged me, “I think you’re hearing things silly – or maybe you got...” She wiggled her fingers ominously, “ghosts ooooh.”

I curled my eyebrows together at her words thinking over the past week. “Yeah… maybe. I think I just have a bad migraine right now.” Shaking my head, thinking how the fuck she couldn’t hear the loud bustle from above. “How about we play some music?”

Aspen pulled herself up, “You have a migraine but you wanna play music?” She giggled, “You’re being so weird today.”

I stifled the kneejerk reaction to glare at her but just reached between us digging out my phone from the couch cushions. As soon as she saw me open Spotify and connect to my Alexa, she leaped over me. “Play something fun!” Tugging at my arm like a toddler, “We can dance!”

I knew if I didn’t give in to her, she wouldn’t drop it. I groaned like an annoyed boyfriend being dragged onto a dancefloor – which I guess, that’s exactly what it was. I begrudgingly peeled myself from the couch, mindlessly hit shuffle and dropped my phone on the couch cushion. The music lagged a bit before I finally met Aspen in the middle of my carpeted living room. She was clearly riding on her own high by the way she was bouncing around before the music even began.

An eerie calm began to wash through my veins and slow my brain. As the calming high from the pill ebbed in, I hadn’t even realized what song started playing until Aspen excitingly exclaimed, “I love Elvis!”

My heart plummeted into the pit of my stomach as the intro of Suspicious Minds creeped through the speaker. The nostalgic lyrics flashed memories of me and Elsie in my old dorm. Our impromptu performances were some of my favorite memories – they were innocent, careless, full of a forgotten hope that had long slipped from my fingers.

I could barely remember my life before Elsie, and I never thought there would be a life after her. I guess I always just assumed we’d always have each other. I never envisioned a time where I wouldn’t have her in my life or where we weren’t “Austin and Elsie” - nonetheless because of me. It wasn’t until that moment that the reality set in, that she may not forgive me. I wanted to believe that we could make it through anything, but this was uncharted territory.

Seeing Aspen spin in Elsie’s place felt like a cheap replacement, like a knockoff designer bag or a low-quality pirated movie. The truth was that I missed her. I missed her so fucking much.

Thankfully, the new drug seeping into my system began to numb my racing thoughts. The foreign feeling of it surprised me, it was reminiscent of Xanax but better - which I didn’t think was possible. If Xanax was a fluffy cloud, Percocet was an endless sea of silky fluff. The aching remorse faded into the background and the room seemed lighter than before. Aspen took my hand in an effort to get me to dance with her and for a split second I could’ve sworn it was Elsie. The initial excitement of the error didn’t disappear though and the music helped soothe the turbulence in my brain.

If this was the bed I chose to make, maybe one constructed from sugary marshmallow fluff wouldn’t be so bad.

Next Chapter -> 30 - It's Not Living (If It's Not With You)

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sorry this took so long - highkey this chp was so difficult for me to edit/finish for some reason, so, sorry if it’s not the best :/

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