#don't get me wrong I'm as much of a hater as the next guy

[elvhendis]

[the-way-astray]

holding out hope . . . don’t act like it’s set in stone . . . it’s not . . . yet . . .

(much ranting in the tags)

[hoffmansgirl]

Honestly, I’m getting tired. It’s literally bts pics from a tv show. He’s not even playing Jesus in the show. People are just looking for a reason to hate him at this point and it’s really pathetic. I was not okay with him posing with those guys and I felt like people had a genuine reason to be upset with him, but I also thought double standards were rearing its ugly head again. Let’s get mad at nick for posing with guys dressed as Lyle and Erik but let’s like and repost thirst edits of Nick and Cooper made up of scenes from a show where they play … Lyle and Erik Menendez. People are holding him to a standard that other celebrities aren’t held to. He can’t do anything without people picking him apart and “canceling” him. It’s honestly annoying.

YES YES YES 🗣️ louder for the cunts in the back!

nicholas chavez is not problematic.

so. i actually feel so bad for him because it must be so hard. he's just gotten popular how long ago... a month? two? and people are trying to cancel him so bad.

he can't do ANYTHING without getting hate - first people started bringing up his love life - since when is it anyone's business? calling him a bop, a man whore. people are feeling way too comfortable nowadays.

next ━ "nicholas doesn't support the brothers", "he doesn't give a fuck" ━ how can YOU know that. he doesn't owe anyone a ny thing. he doesn't need to be as vocal as cooper is about it ━ as i wrote in here aaand here. i honestly won't even talk about it anymore after this post because it's fucking annoying.

the picture with the dicks dressed as menendez brothers ━ disgusting. i'm not gonna defend this one because well. he could have refused to take it. he's a grown ass man, for gods sake. although, as i mentioned before, he is HUMAN. he is LEARNING how to be a big star, what he should and should not do. let's not pretend we are all angels, bffr. we all make mistakes, and sometimes we don't even realise we do something that might be considered wrong.

now... the (hot) god damn pictures... can we stop being so sensitive and fucking annoying!!!!!! 😁 i saw that post and thought that he looks so good, the brat dance made me smile sooo much ━ then i saw the comments... he is not. mocking. religion. he is not mocking your beliefs or your god.

"cancelling" an actor for being an... actor is fucking embarrassing. i just have to laugh.

why is everyone so obsessed with this man, with everything he does? why are haters the first ones in his comment section? god, even i am not that fast and i'm fucking obsessed with the guy. come on... people just hate to hate.

and! surprise! he doesn't owe you an apology ━ if you're offended by the pictures ━ because it's just the show. people think he dressed up as jesus for halloween... do your fucking research. read the caption. stop harassing the poor man i swear 😭

in this house we don't hate on nick ━ of course he needs to be held accountable for the menendez brothers picture, no explanation needed ━ but nothing else.

it's kinda funny because my man is just working, being an introvert and people think he's a soulless narcissist.

i guess people just hate rich, popular and hot men that live their best life... i kinda feel sorry for them, ngl.

and one more thing before i finish... nicholas' love life. the insults i've seen online are so concerning. why are people so comfortable to comment on other people's relationships? why do people believe everything they see on tiktok or twitter? calling him a "man whore" is wayyyy too much. like let this man breathe around another woman? or have female friends? god forbid talk to another woman...

i don't want to comment on his girlfriend because... i want need her man, why would i even talk about her 😭 i have my own opinion but lemme just not...

woof woof i'm yapping. but yes anon, i agree with you. 100%.

and finally! if u wanna talk about it (or just talk about nicholas...) then my dms are open!

and remember!!!! to treat people with kindness ♡ 🫧

(celebrities are also people).

[ayrtonswnna]

⠀⠀⠀CERTIFIED HATER. 〃 charles leclerc smau

⠀⠀⠀⠀ charles leclerc x marie vettel (vettel!female oc)

marie vettel goes live and gets asked about her dad's old teammate. she's got a way to get his attention.

ʚïɞ check my masterlist 〃 drop a request 〃 follow me on AO3!

warnings: explicit language, charles gets butthurt, a lot of funzies, character acting like she doesn't care (but she does), petty character, not much more than that

⠀⠀⠀⠀twitter, by may 2024.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀↳ view comments:

⠀⠀⠀⠀marievettel's instagram stories

⠀⠀↳ replies to this stories:

username: we just hope you die ❤️

username2: that wasn't your humblest opinion at all lol

landonorris: at this point you should just say sorry..... wtf marie

marievettel: ???????

marievettel: i am a woman to my words.

username3: go to the nearest wall and hit your head pls l

charlesleclerc: hhahaha

charlesleclerc: i can take an "overrated" opinion or two, but not that cute???? you're over your head

marievettel: fantastic.

⠀⠀DMs between marievettel and charlesleclerc

⠀⠀marievettel via instagram feed

liked by lancestroll, tyla and 992.384 others.

marievettel: it's been a damn hot minute 🏎️ (someone's trying to prove me wrong)

view comments on this post:

username: attention seeker 🙄🙄

username2: ...enemies to lovers?

landonorris: you're a bastard.

marievettel: you could actually help me out on this thing by winning ❤️

username3: how thw fuck does she disrespect the institution and the driver himself and gets a garage access by the next week?

marievettel: girl.... i am my father's daughter.

username4: you guys acting all bodyguards on charles when they might actually talk on private, just psycho behavior.

charlesleclerc: make yourself comfortable 🥰

marievettel: will do!

⠀⠀⠀⠀marievettel via twitter

⠀⠀charlesleclerc via twitter

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀↳ view comments:

⠀DMs between marievettel and charlesleclerc

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀f1gosspip via twitter

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀↳ view comments:

⠀⠀⠀⠀marievettel's instagram stories

⠀⠀↳ replies to this stories:

username: "kinda cute" then it's greek god man

username2: baby girl just fuck this man already

username3: you are creepy and i hope charles dumps you

landonorris: i knew that would happen eventually

marievettel: yeah me too

charlesleclerc: post the damn apology and then call me, i'm picking you up when i'm done here

marievettel: non conventional way to ask me out

charlesleclerc: well you kinda had an unconventional way to get my attention so we're even

marievettel: i wouldn't say even

⠀⠀⠀⠀marievettel via twitter

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀↳ view comments:

⠀⠀⠀⠀charlesleclerc via ig stories

⠀⠀↳ replies to this stories:

username: just fascinating

maxvertappen1: you are unhinged

sebastianvettel: take care you two!

charlesleclerc: sebbbb charlesleclerc: it is not what you think sebastianvettel: it is exactly what i think 😂 she's a genius with the hate charlesleclerc: and i hate to admit you're right sebastianvettel: have fun and don't make me a grandpa already, please charlesleclerc: we are NOT talking about it

username: where's the trophyyyy he just comes running over to meee

marievettel: god now i am dead. ur fans are gonna murder me

charlesleclerc: shouldn't have acted up at first 🤷🏻🤷🏻

⠀⠀marievettel via instagram feed

liked by lewishamilton, arthur_leclerc and 1.114.893 others.

marievettel: daytime in monaco kinda hits different. (just for you guys to know, i've known this fool for long enough. we go wayyy back)

view comments on this post:

username: srry mama im only looking at your boobs rn

username2: when you think its done... a vettel will find their way to terrorize the paddock

username3: by way back she meant shes simping for him ever since she was a teenager watching him race with her dad

sebastianvettel: menaces!!!

charlesleclerc: wayyyyyy back.

⠀⠀charlesleclerc via instagram feed

liked by sebastianvettel, carlossainz55 and 1.576.016 others.

charlesleclerc: cute as ever with company now.

view comments on this post:

username: dopeass car

username1: oh how he looks happy (irony)

username2: cant imagine what kind of bullshit marie was talking from behind the camera for cha to have that look on his face

marievettel: apparently i am not much of a hyper ):

username3: i want to be like her when i grow up

username4: he wont ever let it go lmaaao

marievettel: i was trying to get to you with the driving skills talk but damn how i lied..... youre HANDSOME

charlesleclerc: was waiting to hear that from you

ʚïɞ check my masterlist 〃 drop a request 〃 more charles! ʚïɞ ayrtonswnna, 2025

[artist-issues]

Cinderella is so much stronger than modern girl characters.

Seriously guys. Please tell me: what's harder to do? Give up your rights, your home, and your privileges without ever stooping to the level of your petty abusers? Staying kind and true to what you know is right?

Or popping off a mouthy one-liner that you've just been dying to use to put the haters in their place? Using your fighting superpowers to take what you want?

Which one is harder? Which one is braver? Which one takes more patience, steadfast character, and, to put it plainly, faith?

It's not hard to take out your anger on small-souled, loveless, hollow people who don't know how to be anything other than cruel. It's easy. It's on the tip of our tongue as soon as we're insulted or hurt or our rights are infringed upon.

It's also not hard to slip into yourself and hide from the world, think only about how you've been wronged and how to preserve yourself. Forget about anyone or anything else besides making it through the next day. It's not fun, but it's easy, especially when she's suffering.

It's also not hard to become hard, bitter. Take little bits and pieces of revenge--maybe she can't stand up to her enemies, maybe her situation is too dangerous to fight back, but she could be angry. She could get hard and calloused, hate them with every look, and find opportunities to keep them from having what they want.

What's so much harder is to take the situation and rise above it. Not to let the circumstances control your life, but also your response. To choose to be kind and pity your enemies, wish they could reform, serve them, even love and forgive them. And while you're doing that, you're taking every opportunity to be kind and find ways to serve others. Instead of saying, "I've got enough to deal with," saying, "oh, let me help even the smallest of creatures, even if it's just with something small, even if I'm buried under my own mountain of abuse and businesses." It's way harder.

That's why she's stronger than Raya, and Mei, and any of the Live Action remakes of anyone but Cinderella.

[maranigai]

For the character meme. I love your hornsent OCs and thus wanted to know your thoughts on Messmer!

Ah, thanks for the kind words about my guys, I love them and I appreciate it so much! And what about Messmer... ho-ho, that's a tricky one. Anyways, let's go.

favorite thing about them

First of all, I have a lifelong weakness for morally ambiguous red-haired spearsmen, as sir Ornstein can confirm. But fine, that was a joke, let's get serious for a moment. The key thing for Messmer, the core of his story and his character, is love. He loves his mother - quite simple, isn't it? But in fact no, it isn't simple. Because he loves her, more than anything else in the world, more than himself. This love is bigger than any destruction and harm it brings, even to Messmer himself, this love is the reason for all things, it's the basis of all things. And Messmer can't hurt what he loves so much, he can't deny this love, he can't deny his mother, because if he does, what's next? It was everything. Literally everything. So of course he does things for her, some things that he likes, some things that he doesn't like, some things that he would never do if not her. I think I can relate with this after a fashion, but this is not what made me love his story and his character. I love it because in the end of the day that love was hollow. It wasn't enough to overcome fear, hatred and vengeance. It wasn't enough for Marika to save Messmer, and he realizes it...

least favorite thing about them

...too late. I don't believe that Messmer sympathized with the hornsent in a slightest during his crusade, but I do believe that he had his doubts that grew as time - and war - went on. I'm sure he, unlike most of the crusaders, knew the truth about the shamans, about his mother's vengeance - and his mother was everything to him, right? He had no reason to sympathize with savages capable of such horrific acts - and so he didn't, completely ignoring how horrific and savage he himself was. It was for his mother and the new civilized world she was building, so what's wrong with a little hypocrisy here? But the war went on and on and on, and the lands were shrouded in shadows, and the mother stopped answering, and Messmer and his army were left in oblivion, alone with the deserved hatered, far from everything they had fought for. Their purpose got blurred, their guidance faded, and I believe that's when Messmer began to ask himself - why? Why is he going on, why is he fighting? And he could have answered that question - but he didn't, because the answer was "there's no reason", because answering meant acknowledging that nothing he had done really mattered, that all his love and suffering was a waste. Eventually, he was not strong enough - brave enough - to admit it before his dying breath, which was too late. I can't say I dislike his ending (I'm writing it in this paragraph mainly because I'm too curious to see an alternative), but I still wish he could overcome his fear earlier, when it could still change something - though it's a FromSoft game, so obviously it's not an option given their brilliant taste in tragedy.

favorite line

It's always hard to pick favourite lines in a FromSoft game, because... idk, I just love the dialogue and the voice acting in these games. But if I had to choose, it would be...

Embrace thine oblivion, as shall I.

Just because how utterly summarizing it is, for both the character himself and for the whole Land of Shadow.

brOTP

My glorious boar-riding man Gaius! I just love how Messmer, mommy's personal machine for eradicating everything graceless, befriended artificial (!) graceless (!!) dude who was persecuted by almost everyone in the Lands Between and made him his deputy. It's also mentioned that they had common ground in that they both were cursed from birth, so their friendship seems to come from a genuine understanding of each other's struggle. In general, I think that this is an interesting adittion to Messmer's overall portrait and a bittersweet dynamic of two cursed beings finally finding understanding in one another.

OTP

Rellana, because I'm a hopeless fan of the "liege and their a bit too loyal knight" dynamic. However, I hc their relationships as unresolved/platonic because both of them put their duty in the crusade first, and it's generally not a smart move to show open love when you're surrounded by people who'd gladly take away everything you love as revenge. I also don't like it when Rellana is reduced to just Messmer's gf instead of a fearsome sorceress and military commander in her own right.

nOTP

To be honest, I have yet to see a pairing with him that would straight up frustrate me. For the most part, my reaction is just indifference. But if I had to pick one, it would probably be Godwyn/Messmer, just because there are so many so much more interesting dynamics for both of them.

random headcanon

He was the son of Radagon and Marika, born during Marika's marriage to Godfrey, and was officially recognized as a bastard (this is why he's sir Messmer and not lord Messmer). In the beginning Godfrey wasn't a big fan of him for obvious reasons, but over time their relationship became more tender; by the time of Godfrey's exile Messmer sincerely viewed him as father, even without blood relation.

unpopular opinion

I don't thing he had a close relationship with Melina - in fact, I don't think he was even aware of her existence. Fandom often portrays them as twins for some reason, but the "younger sister" can be centuries younger when we're talking about demigods - and in my hcs, she was. So no cute Melina&Messmer fanart for me.

song i associate with them

Белая гвардия - Песня рядового

I know, I know, the language and all that, but just trust me, the lyrics hits hard considering Messmer.

favorite picture of them

I really love this trailer-based art by IvyJinna

[aryxchse]

hiii would you do percy x daughter of zeus hcs? but reader is more like hera’s daughter?? i hope that explains itself like reader has attributes a daughter of hera would have

daughter of the heavens / percy jackson x daughter of zeus! champion of hera! reader.

a / n : ah, my favorite trope. hera adopting zeus' children and being a better parent for them🤭 i know being both child of zeus and champ of hera is hoTTT

warnings : omg i didnt cursed ig??

- he's scared

- you're the children of most feared two gods

- you have your fathers powers and hera's rage

- you weren't the best go to option in becoming friends for the campers

- that's why percy thought he was doomed when he saw you two spared for the sword practice

- but it didn't go the way he planned

- you did fight good and kicked his ass, don't get me wrong

- but you were so kind afterwards

- "you okay? did i accidently zapped you or something?"

- my man was shocked

- "n-no thanks, im okay."

- "your stands are too open by the way."

- normally he would be annoyed

- and overthink

- but right now he wanted to be close to you

- and give a little show to the camp, about two children of the big three is practicing together

- "can you fix me?"

- percy 'smooth' jackson everyone

- and, the sweet and kind you, obviously showed him how to stand good

- you were very outgoing and friendly, so it was easy for you two become close

- thanks to the fates or aphrodite, next day was his turn in the cabin check

- and luckily for him, you were assigned together

- "hey jackson."

- "wassup l/n."

- you both were eachother in different fonts fr

- and people thought you guys would fight already at some point

- but it never happened

- the more percy got close to you, the more he realised you were more like hera

- even though you're just her champion

- you hated zeus and didn't wanted to be his stereotypical child

- and percy definetly sees that

- you had your dads good (suprisingly he has a few) traits thats all

- like how you were a natural leader, and you can get competitive when you need to

- and think fast during attack

- but the other was just hera

- you were so motherly, even to percy

- "the weather will be cold, i can feel it. put a sweater on."

- jason doesn't know how you both become besties this easy but he wasn't complaining

- yeah he joked around and said don't date but like he shipped you guys from the start

- he'd love to have percy as brother in law fr

- percy eventually developed a crush on you because of how your characters matched

- you both loved pegasus riding for example

- and surfing

- you would blow a cold wind towards him when the weather is too hot

- and he'd make the water more warmer if it's too cold for you

- little things like that made you develope (is this how you spell?) a crush too

- after coming back from tartarus, percy didn't liked making things wait and he immediatly started to work on a confession plan

- he wanted to impress you, because you were the daughter of the king of the gods

- also his wife's champion

- you were olympus' princess fr

- no matter how much he tried, he didn't get the chance

- he made blackjack shape the clouds as hearts, but whenever he tried to say something someone appeared

- or you had to go because someone called you

- he tried like this for two weeks

- and then he started to get anxious and tired of it

- so when you both sat on the zeus cabin's roof, percy confessed

- "the stars are reall-"

- "im in love with you"

- your shock appeared in the sky and you accidently struck a lightning

- "wHAT-"

- my boy decided to never suprise you that night

- but you both started dating obvi

- POWER

- COUPLE.

- zeus is a hater but who cares

- hera is too but she is happy as long as you're happy

- and besides, percy's fatal flaw is loyalty so what could possibly go wrong?

- you two always pick eachother during quests

- and you guys fight in harmony

- you're in the wind i'm in the water fr

- katara and aang is that u???

- percy often tries to impress you

- because you're so unintentionally cool

- but you always wave him off by saying 'you can trip and fall but i'd still find you hot'

- and he blushes like a little girl

- your emotions are always mirrors the weather in camp

- so he tries his best to make you happy

- because once you made a rainbow when he gifted you a hand made paper flower

- idk how dont ask

- you often zap percy to remind him that you love him

- like it's your way of saying i love you

- and he splashes you in return

- you both have so much fun together

- long story short

- u guys are the coolest fr

[qiu-yan]

3 6 7 11 16 20 25

bro is trying to get me killed lmao /s

choose violence ask game

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr:

this shit

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

gonna be honest here, the single most annoying part of the MDZS fandom is that one hyperspecific sort of wang and xian stan who insists on shitting on not only the other characters, but also other wang and xian fans who ship the characters in ways they don't approve of. this kind of stan can not only be relied on to have the worst possible takes on everyone ranging from jin guangyao to jiang cheng, they can also be relied on to harass other wang and xian fans simply for putting wang on the bottom. fun times.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

surprisingly, no one yet. sometimes i feel the hater urge to dunk on the morally-pure version of wei wuxian that the diehard wei wuxian stannies have collectively hallucinated, but i still find the wei wuxian from canon to be quite compelling.

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

the "canon jiang cheng" and "canon jc" tags. everyone stfu

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

"morally pure wei wuxian who did nothing wrong ever." to me, wei wuxian's hubris, his unique capability for inventing new kinds of cruelty, his failure to think of the consequences of his actions, his tendencies to run away from negative feelings, and his ultimate failure to protect the people he was trying to protect, are what make him a compelling character to me. these flaws in parallel with his courage, kindness, stalwart moral compass, and genuine love make him interesting to me. so i don't quite understand fans who instead insist on erasing all the morally grey and highly interesting stuff he did in favor of insisting he did nothing wrong ever.

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

not quite what the question is asking, but i found the actual wang and xian romance in the original novel to be a bit lacking. mainly because (as other people have said already) a lot of the romantic development happened when lan wangji was drunk. at the very least, i wanted to see lan wangji's reactions to his various drunken adventures once he sobered up the next day, and i'm rather disappointed we never got to see that.

furthermore, on wei wuxian's end, it did kind of feel like wei wuxian was using this exciting new romance to distract himself from his past problems, even though it also seemed like he didn't actually know all that much about lan wangji. the only version of the romance that makes sense to me is the one where wei wuxian was already into lan wangji (subconsciously or consciously) in his first life; otherwise, wei wuxian falling in love with lan wangji during his second life, when he's yet to process any of the shit that happened in his first life, feels too much like him running away from his problems with a guy he believes will validate all his decisions. meanwhile, on lan wangji's end, i feel like the novel just did not give us a lot to work with in regards to his character. so it feels like, if you want to be a fan of lan wangji, you have to do a lot of the legwork of building up his personality yourself.

what also disappointed me a bit about wang and xian, as well as lan wangji's character arc itself, is that lan wangji is never really challenged on a moral-dilemma level in the same way that many other characters are challenged by the story. how do i explain this...alright, i'll put it this way. i've been brainrotted about madohomu (madoka magica) since i was in middle school. and that's partially because i know for a fact that, if homura was put in the trolley problem and had to choose between [killing 5 strangers] and [allowing madoka to die], she would choose to kill those 5 strangers to save madoka. but after reading MDZS, i realized i legitimately did not know what lan wangji would do in such a moral dilemma. because MDZS equates [being morally righteous] with [supporting wei wuxian], lan wangji is never placed in a dilemma where he has to choose between sacrificing wei ying and doing something the audience would think of as unforgivable.

these are just my own hyperspecific tastes, though.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

gonna put my hater hat on for a second, but i kind of roll my eyes at the jiang cheng haters complaining about how jiang cheng stans keep posting in the "canon jiang cheng" tag. dude, if it bothers you that much, just block the jiang cheng stans. then things will be peaceful in your favorite tag again.

[pablitogavii]

could you write smth where at like an event, people are saying that the reader isn’t rich enough or good enough to be dating pablo and she doesn’t tell him but he finds out and gets mad but the ending is sweet and cute <3

True Treasure

You attended one of the Barça events with Pablo after you finally went public about your relationship after five months of being together in secret.

Most of his fans were very kind to you especially since you weren't trying to use his fame for yourself but lived a normal life even when everyone found out you were his girlfriend.

You were very nervous about the event as it is because you get anxious in large crowds of people you don't know. And to make things worse some haters online really got you self conscious on your way there.

y.n.bebe

Barcelona, Spain

Ready for the dinner. Gracias amor por un foto <;3 @pablogavi

comments:

pablogavi: que guapa <3

hater123: that dress is literally so cheap!!

hatersclub: she looks so simple :/

besthater: nahh gavi buy her some clothes cause she poor!!

You were glad that Pablo put his phone on silent when he drove so that he didn't read any of those comments cause he would go crazy if he knew.

You didn't really care much abut branded clothes or shiny jewelry but when you arrived to the party, that's all you saw.

All the guys were in expensive suits, just like Pablo was and it looked so freaking good on him! All the women were either wearing Dior, Channel, Versace or some other brand I didn't even know about.

"You okay?" he asked snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you close and you just nodded faking a smile not wanting him to worry about this.

You were next to take photos and you never felt more uncomfortable. Everybody was looking at you smiling but all you thought was that they thought your dress was cheap and that you didn't belong here.

"Um..I'm sorry Pablo..I need some air" you said after the photos walking out to get some fresh air suddenly the whole room feeling stuffy and heavy. Pablo of course followed after you worried what happened.

"You feeling anxious princesa??" he said kissing your head and you just nodded your head looking at how beautiful Barcelona looked a t night from the balcony you were at.

"I'm sorry Pablo.." you said tears spilling down your cheek obviously not because you were anxious but because you felt like you didn't deserve him, like you were embarrassing him.

"Amor..que pasa? Tell your Pablito what's wrong please?" he pulled you in closer raising your chin and drying a tear from your face.

"I..don't belong here. I'm not rich enough..and I shouldn't have came" you said unable to keep quiet any longer really wanting to go home right now.

"Amor..where is this coming from huh? Of course you belong here! You're my girl and the most beautiful woman tonight" he spoke kissing your lips afterwards and you sniffled.

"But..but I'm not wearing expensive clothes like everyone here" you said and Pablo giggled pulling you closer into him and kissing the top of your head.

"And why do you think I chose you? Out of all those influencers flashing Versace in my face wanting me just because they want to be Barcelona Wags... I chose you because even in a simple white dress, you look breathtaking to me princesa.." Pablo spoke with his hands on your hips and you smiled blushing a little.

"R..really??" you say looking up and he smiled nodding his head and holding your face and kissing your lips lovingly.

"Mhm..now come with me and let's enjoy the party princesa!" he said and you nodded walking back inside spending truly a magical night together.

pablogavi

Love isn't about expensive clothes and jewelry...love is about connection, laughs, silly arguments and LOTS of cuddles! I can't believe there are people who can hate on such an angel who makes me so happy every day. My favorite thing she wears is my hoodie <3 Te amo princesa!! @y.n.bebe

comments:

gavifan: I read the comments underneath her latest post. some people are so hateful that it's unimaginable! just because somebody's not rich doesn't mean they are worthless. this girl is such a sweet soul and deserves all love that Pablo knows how to give <3

gavirafanclub: i love y.n because she is not one of those fake plastic influencers trying to get famous by being with gavi! she is the real one!!

y.n.fangirl: made me so angry to see them comment how her dress is "cheap" when it looked absolutely stunning on her! she's an 18 year olf girl and is dressing according to her age!

gavi_y.n_lovestory: this picture is soo cute!! she's so precious pablo! protect her at all cost <33

Pablo's post really meant a lot to you and it inspired all of your friends to stand in your corner as well which wasn't what you expected at all to happen.

mikkykiemeney story: people hating on this angel is unacceptable! true value is in your heart! <3 love you hermanita mia!

pedri story: amiga mia! you are more than amazing and we all love you very much! stop hating on good people!!

aurorapaezg story: hermanita mia preciosa! I love you so much and don't let any haters get you down! you're the best thing that happened to my hermano and we love you so much!!! <33

siramartinez story: I'm in complete disbelief that this girl is receiving hate! she's the sweetest human and always there to support her boyfriend! ps. pls let me borrow that dress cause it's bomb girl!!!

[sessakag]

Now all I can think about is Prey!Papa-Naruto because it would be the wildest funniest thing ever! Poor Hinata is probably trying to make sure her kids grow up to be good morally upstanding people and Naruto is just….Yeah 😬. Funnily enough this Naruto probably wouldn’t have as much of a contentious relationship with Boruto because there’s no way he’s putting work above spending time how he wants 😭. And as a Kawaki hater I’m pleased to say I don’t see this Naruto being altruistic enough to take in some random abused kid so really we’ve got my ideal version of the Uzumaki family 🫢. Anyway, I bet parent-teacher conferences and kiddy playdates and birthday parties are gonna be fun times 🤣. Speaking of bday parties happy early birthday! I hope it’ll be a fun one.

Daddy Prey!Naruto is the funniest thing ever, lol.

For sure, Naruto would spend time with his little mini-me. Who would stop him?

I feel like Boruto would be very aware that his father is a homicidal nutjob and spend his time trying to keep innocents out of harms way, but he does it in ways that are just as bad as his father, because of course, the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree, and that he has this huge blind spot to when his own inner crazy is starting to show, lol. And of course, mess with his mom or baby sister, well then, you'll have a hard time telling Naruto and Boruto apart at all🤭he'd justify his violence and the bodies in his closet because Prey!Narupapa taught him that delusion is just another way to say correct, and there's nothing wrong with customizing your own reality when it's convenient. He'd also spend so much time trying to undo Hima's worst tendencies their dad is teaching her in an effort to help his mom out, but ends up making it worse by teaching her "alternative" tendencies that are just as bad but much more slicker than his father's open bluntness, which ultimately, makes Hinata's job harder, lol. Poor lady, I can see her trying to explain the situation to her crazy husband. Hinata: I'm trying to make sure the kids have a moral compass, Naruto Naruto: The fuck they need that for?

I'll be honest, I really don't know all that much about Kawaki since I don't watch the show, but his design is very cool, and the clips I've seen of him on youtube I vibe with🤭but Naruto being altruistic and adopting a poor orphan? Not fuckin likely at all, lol. Prey!Naruto wouldn't care about any kids but his own🤷🏽‍♀️so you're all set for sure, lol.

Parent-teacher conferences would be lit af😂imagine Naruto's big buff tatted up self sitting in one of those itty bitty chairs at a table lower than his knees while the teacher tries to get him to understand that it's not a good thing that his little girl is drawing her classmates with their heads somewhere other than on their shoulders🤣he would be so insulted and have a very scary diatribe about why Hima's work is "art" not a "red flag". The teacher would resign the next day by the time he was done. Omg birthdays🙈One word: Pinata. Take that as you will, lmao!

And omg, I wanna write Prey!Naruto at a PTA meeting, lmao! And you'd think Hinata was the one that dragged him to it, but NO, he'd go on his own because he's a super paranoid bastard that needs to know what is going on in his orbit and that includes his hellspawns, and if he doesn't like what he hears he'll have to retire a few folks to ensure things are being run for the benefit of his offspring😂

Hima's not doing a kiddy playdate, study date, pretend date, any date. Over somebody else's dead body would Naruto allow his baby girl to do any sorta dating🤣hell naw, and don't @ him about it. End of discussion. Why? Because Naruto knows how guys are, and considering the things he does to Hima's mother on a regular basis, he's dead set on not letting any guy near his daughter until she's at least 80 years old, if she's lucky. Teen!Hima good luck trying to date or get a boyfriend😅especially since big brother's not gonna be too keen on the idea either, lol. And thank you for the early birthday wishes!!💕

I feel like this SOL Prey!Naruto family is set in stone to be a thing at this point, lmao. I'm certainly sold on it. I won't say whether or not I plan on Hinata getting knocked up in Prey, ya'll will have to wait and find out but I definitely think this should be a full SOL fic at this point, lol. It's just too good to pass up🤭

[pavardscherie]

— who's the one? instagram au ⤷ pairing ;; pablo gavi & female reader ;; pedri & female reader ⤷ summary ;; your best friends with gavi & pedri, and one of them is your boyfriend. their fans are speculating on Instagram, and you're giving them a little bit to discuss about. ⤷ izzy talks non-sense;; just like i wanted to do one, here we go with my first Instagram au! if you want a part two with the boyfriend reveal, just tell me!! :)

yourusername posted a new photo!

liked by pedri, pablogavi, annalewandowska and 4.621 more.

yourusername bubble baths ; flowers and dinner, treated like a queen on valentine's day

view all 132 comments.

pedri espero que siempre te trate tan bien, cariño (hope he always treats you well, darling) → yourusername nothing to worry about, darling

gavisgirl is she dating gavi? it looks like him! → gavifan1 no, she’s besties with pedri and gavi!!

pablogavi ¿puedo tener una rosa? (can i have a rose?) → yourusername always!

yourusername posted a new photo!

liked by pedri, pablogavi, fcbarcelona and 6.329 more.

yourusername i got scared i came for no reason; good job darling! i'm proud of you! 💖

tagged pedri

view all 204 comments.

pedri tienes que verme jugar (you saw me play) → yourusername could have done that at home, on my tv too → pedri deja de ser pendejo bebe (stop being an asshole, babe)

pablogavi te perdiste una foto mia (you missed a picture of me) → yourusername maybe next time score a goal & you deserve a post

gavifan2 i thought she's dating pablo → gavifan3 i thought they're just friends

pedripablolover i don't care, she's totally doing this for the fame → pedripotters she‘s only posting about pedri & gavi, suspicious af

yourusername posted a new photo!

liked by pedri, pablogavi, annalewandowska and 5.336 more.

yourusername enjoying a day at the beach. enjoy pictures of my face for once and not pablo or pedro :)

view all 178 comments.

annalewandowska babe, you're too pretty → yourusername idk, are you talking about yourself?

pablofan1 giving the haters what they want! love you sm → gavisuniverse proving them wrong in many ways

pedripotters just leave them finally alone, you're annoying → gavisgirl1 omg, she's the worst, always clinging to pablo → pedrissmile have you seen her with pedri? it's much worse!

pedri mira esa sonrisa hermosa (look at that smile, beautiful) → yourusername i like yours more

pablogavi posted a new photo!

liked by pedri, yourusername, _rl9 and 279.582 more.

pablogavi beach days & sunsets to calm down

view all 2.862 comments.

pedri se ve bien, hermano (looks good, bro) → pablogavi 😍

yourusername who's that attractive guy? → pablogavi who's that beautiful girl?

gavilover1 😍😍😍

gavirafan3 wasn't that girl at the beach too? → gavisworld you mean y/n? yeah she posted about the beach → pabloandpedri but i thought she's dating pedri → pedrisgirl5 i'm confused af

gavifan7 OMG did you go with y/n? are you dating? → pablosgaviras omg yes please! she's so pretty.

ansufati hermano, vuelve a poner tu trasero en el campo (man, get your ass back on the pitch) → pablogavi proximo juego, prometido (very soon, promise)

yourusername posted a new photo!

liked by pedri, ansufati, _rl9 and 16.578 more.

yourusername please help, can somebody tell them that a dinner date is supposed to be two people and not them and me???

tagged pedri & pablogavi

pabloandpedrifan omg she's living the dream → pedrisworld i'm so jealous, she's having both of them

_rl9 boys, you're confusing the poor girl → yourusername yes, please help lewy. you need to inform them better the next time!

gavisfan2 what a bitch lol → pedripotters like one isn't enough for her wtf

pablosfan4 i'm genuinely confused about their 'friendship'

pedrigavira she doesn't deserve them

gavifan6 bitch in every way

pablogavi quiero decir, te divertiste, ¿verdad? (i mean, you had fun, right?) liked by yourusername

[selfless-solipsist]

Honeyed Confessions

He was a man with a hundred names, yet none of them were his own.

Wander x Villain Reader [Chapter 2]

Link to AO3:

Chapter Two: Helping Others With Gentle Hands

___ found herself waiting on a bench outside a carnival for a certain star-nomad, and... as she sat there, she was starting to grow impatient. She had no idea why she even agreed to this sort of thing in the first place. Well, okay, she had an idea. Despite everything, despite the fact that the little furball made her hit him twice during their first meeting, she was a bit captivated with his whole persona. But at the end of the day, real dates weren't really her style. She was a villain, not some lovesick fool who wanted to be wooed. And yet...

Here she was, waiting for Wander.

...yeah, she was definitely losing her mind as well.

But where the heck was he, anyway? It seemed the longer she waited, the more likely it seemed that he had just ditched her. He was a complete stranger, and for all she knew, he only agreed to go on the date for shits and giggles. Sure, he was a goody-two-shoes, and went on the first date to 'keep her company' - which ended up with them agreeing to go on another one... somehow -, but that didn't mean he wasn't a little ball of chaotic energy that relished in making others irritated and wanting to strangle him.

It was kind of his thing.

And so, as the woman continued to wait for the sunshine in alien form to appear, a very small pout formed on her face, her foot tapping against the ground impatiently. She glanced around the carnival, watching couples walk by with amusement and a bit of disgust, vomiting on the inside from all the lovey-dovey energy around her. Yuck. It was moments like these that made her realize why she chose the path of being a bad guy. Though it was kind of ironic at the time, considering she was about to meet up with the person she was supposed to hate. Or, as the self-proclaimed 'The Greatest in the Galaxy' would have said - the furry nuisance, the bane of his existence.

'NO ___, you don't understand! I HAD TO THROW AWAY HALF OF MY CLOTHES BECAUSE HE INFECTED ME WITH COOTIES!!! He's like THE WORST GUY EVER!' 

...Ah, good ol' Hater.

...

Grop, why was she even waiting for Wander anyway...?

After all she could just say screw it and leave. Go back to her spaceship. Or do something more productive like take over the Yonder Galaxy or something, that would have been a much better time consumer for sure. Instead of sitting there pouting like a scorned schoolgirl who didn't get her way, she had to admit - the whole look didn't really suit her.

But no, she was patiently... or well, not so patiently, waiting for a stupid star-nomad rather than doing something that actually mattered.

What the flarp was wrong with her?!

Her scowl deepened as the minutes continued ticking by, and she found herself starting to seriously consider just leaving and getting it over with, and maybe play some games in her quarters - because that was always fun - when suddenly...

THUNK!

Abruptly, Wander just appeared out of nowhere, crashing face first onto the bench right next to her. "OOF-" He let out a loud yelp of pain, but despite this, he turned his head to glance up at his date, grinning in an obnoxiously cheerful manner, a tiny bit of blood from his nonexistent nose staining the side of his face.

"Heya, darlin'!"

Obviously, he didn't seem phased by the fact that it looked like he had slammed his face against a wall at full speed, much less the fact that he was bleeding. In fact, in an almost eerily cheerful tone, he added: "I'm not late, am I?"

The woman truly didn't quite know what to say, her eyes narrowing as the star-nomad climbed up onto the bench and sat next to her. He was definitely late, and the fact that he didn't even seem to care made her glare harshly at him. "You are late." She stated bluntly, her voice cold as ice, although she was somewhat intrigued that he actually showed up in the first place.

Though Wander's smile only widened at her response as he looked up at her, tilting his head slightly. "I'm sorry!" He didn't sound sorry in the slightest bit, and he appeared as giddy as ever as he sat there with the red substance gushing out of his face slowly. Oddly enough, he almost seemed to enjoy her hostile attitude.

Maybe he was just a little.... unhinged.

"You're bleeding." The human pointed out the obvious, wrinkling her nose as she watched the blood trickle down his fur. Her comment was matter-of-fact, as if she were merely stating a fact rather than expressing concern. Because well, why should she show any concern, she was supposed to be a cold-hearted tyrant. 

He, on the other hand, didn't seem particularly concerned about the fact that he was injured. In fact, he only smiled at her comment, seemingly unbothered by the fact that blood was staining his lovely appearance from how hard he crashed into the bench."Oh, this? It's nothin'" Wander waved off her statement, as if it didn't even register in his mind. Clearly, he was more focused on finally being on the date with her, and he leaned forward slightly as he stared into her eyes. "Now, where're we gonna start, Darlin'?"

At that the female let out an annoyed huff, her arms crossing over her chest as she watched him with a scowl. "How about with an actual explanation as to why you're late." She said coldly as the little bundle of joy continued to grin obnoxiously, completely unaffected by her icy glare.

"I got distracted." He said simply, as if it was a normal occurrence for him. Which it was. Wander was easily distracted and had the attention span of a puppy, or a goldfish perhaps. Honestly it was a wonder how he was a few centuries old and still kicking.

"You got distracted?" She echoed in disbelief, her eyes narrowing as she stared at the star-nomad in slight annoyance. "What could you possibly get distracted by?"

Wander giggled softly, his smile widening at her disbelief. "Oh, I dunno, I could list tons of things!" He said in a sing-song voice, before he leaned back and crossed his arms behind his head, glancing around for a few moments. "Saw some pretty lights, an' a puppy or two... Oh! And a butterfly!"

Seriously?

___ couldn't help it, she facepalmed as he listed his distractions, her patience running thin with his careless and carefree behavior. It was a miracle she was even on a date with him in the first place. "A butterfly..." She repeated, her tone a mix of incredulity and annoyance.

"Yup! She was a real pretty one, too. Got her little wings spread wide an' everythin'!"

"And you just... stopped to watch it?" She asked in disbelief, her expression becoming even more irritated. "For how long?"

Wander shrugged again, a playful twinkle in his eyes.

"About thirty minutes, give or take."

...

"You watched a butterfly, for thirty minutes because it was pretty!?"

Wander nodded his head excitedly, making a 'mhm!' sound, his grin widening at her reaction. He was thoroughly enjoying how annoyed she was getting, and somewhat proud of his behavior. Because of that his obnoxiously cheerful mood never wavered, not even for a moment. "Heck yeah! You ain't ever seen a pretty butterfly? They're beautiful lil' things! All colorful an' pretty-like!" He said in a matter-of-fact manner, as if every person would stop to stare at a butterfly. But when he glanced at her, his expression turned to a sly smirk. "Although... I can think of somethin' that's even prettier." He scooted over closer to her, looking up at the human woman with glittering eyes and booped her nose. 

"You!"

Sure enough, the moment Wander called her pretty again, and did that weird thing with his finger (she didn't know what the heck it was),  ___'s cheeks went red, a fact that she was desperately trying to hide. She hated blushing, she wasn't used to the feeling, and yet every time he complemented her or made her feel flustered, her face would go red regardless. But she couldn't show how much he had affected her, so she let out a small cough in a poor attempt to cover up her reaction. "Shut up." Tell me more. "Can we go do something finally or whatever?"

The nomad giggled as he observed the emotions on her face, his orbs sparkling. "Ya know, you're just so cute when ya blush!" He teased, taking pleasure in the fact that he knew fully well she hated being called 'cute'. Additionally, he knew that she tried to act like his compliments didn't affect her, but little things like that were a dead giveaway. "But sure, let's go to the carnival! Unless you'd rather keep sittin' here and let me compliment ya some more!"

___ huffed, annoyed by his obvious amusement. "Carnival. Now." She responded bluntly, standing up from the bench and fixing her date - this time an actual one - with a sharp glare. But even as she tried to act tough, the truth was that deep inside, she wasn't really annoyed with Wander. And she even liked hearing his endless flattery.

Ugh...

He on the other hand simply tilted his head to the side, finding her demeanor rather endearing. "Aight, carnival it is! But ya might wanna hang onto somethin', cause I ain't going slow for anyone!" Just as he finished his sentence, he abruptly jumped up from the bench, finally wiping away the blood from his nose. Then, without giving her a chance to react, he grabbed her hand in a firm, but gentle grasp, and started sprinting towards their destination. And oddly enough, his sneakers thumped loudly against the ground as he ran, the sound resembling that of a car speeding, as strange as it was.

"Whoa-!" The suddenness of Wander's actions caught the villainess completely off guard, and she let out a gasp of surprise as she was suddenly yanked along by the orange nomad. She had thought that he was going to walk, maybe jog, to the carnival, but she didn't expect him to sprint at full speed. As they ran, she seriously tried to keep up with his hyperactive energy, but it was like trying to keep up with a bouncing ball.

The nomad continued to run with her in tow, grinning widely as he relished the wind against his face and the feeling of his heart pounding in his chest. He always had a seemingly endless supply of energy, and sprinting to the carnival was no different. And as they neared the entrance, he let out a joyful cry, his laughter ringing out in the air. 

"Woo-wee, I LOVE carnivals!!!"

As they entered, ___ was assaulted, actually attacked viciously and without mercy, by a burst of noise and color. Music thumped all around them, with different rides and games scattered throughout the area. The air was filled with the scent of cotton candy and popcorn, the sounds of laughter and excitement mingling with the various carnival games and food stands. It was safe to say that the villainess was a bit overwhelmed by the happy chaos, while Wander seemed right at home, his eyes practically sparkling dragged her into the madness.

Joy was everywhere.

...and she felt like she was going to d̸i̷e̸.

Wander was buzzing with excitement as he led the woman through the cheery area, his orbs darting around to take in all the sights, sounds and smells. "Look! That's the ferris wheel! And over there's the gravitron! And the Tilt-A-Whirl... and- and the popcorn stand!" He rambled on in excitement, pointing out various attractions. Then he glanced back at her, his smile widening at the sight of her overwhelmed expression. 

He found it adorable.

Her mind going into overdrive as she tried to take in all the stimulation around her. Loud noises, bright lights, strange smells - it was all so... much. She tried to keep pace with her date's energy, but it was like trying to keep up with a sugar-high two-year-old on a sugar-rush. Every ride and game seemed to excite him more and more, his smile practically split his face in half.

"Oh! OH- We gotta go on that one!" The fuzzy alien suddenly exclaimed, gesturing vigorously towards a rather large rollercoaster that stood tall against the night sky. It was a menacing beast with numerous loops and twists, and it looked like the kind of ride that would make even the bravest of souls queasy. But Wander didn't feel queasy, he was excited. Because of that, he shot ___ a cheeky grin, practically bouncing on his heels. 

"Whaddya say, darlin'? Wanna go on a dizzy trip?"

...like he wasn't always on a dizzy trip with that mind of his. 

The villainess gaped at the gargantuan rollercoaster that he  was pointing at, her heart leaping into her throat at the very sight of it. The loops, the twists, the insane speed - it looked like a metal behemoth that was designed solely to make a person puke their guts out. And if she had to be honest, it certainly looked like something out of her torture chamber. And that thought made her shake her head frantically, her expression a mixture of fear and refusal. "Absolutely. Not."

Wander's grin only widened at her response to get on the monstrous rollercoaster. He found it amusing, this hardened villain trembling in the face of a little adrenaline-filled ride. It was so... cute. So he chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he took a step closer to her. "Aww, don' like coasters? Too bad," He teased, a teasing gleam in his orbs. "But I ain't leavin' till ya at least give it a shot!"

Hearing that, the female shot him a menacing glare. "No. End of discussion," She said firmly, crossing her arms and lifting her chin defiantly. She was a goddamn villain, for crying out loud! She had ruled over galaxies for years, and yet this... cute little ball of fuzz was practically bullying her into riding a rollercoaster ride?!

But Wander obviously didn't care.

He took another step toward her, closing the distance between them even more as he looked up at her towering form. He was close enough now that he could almost taste her fear. "Oh, come ooooon~!" He drawled, his voice low and taunting. "Just one little ride, darlin'. What's the worst that could happen?"

Her glare darkened, her jaw clenching at the smugness of the little bastard. "Oh, I don't know," She retorted sarcastically, her voice dripping with venom. "I could vomit all over your adorable little face." With that, she raised an eyebrow at him, her expression defiant. "Or maybe I'd pass out and fall off the ride. Or maybe I'd get stuck upside down and puke my guts out. Any of those options sound delightful to you, weirdo?"

"Nah, I doubt any of those terrible things would happen!" The nomad replied, still grinning. "And even if they did, I'd be right there by your side. I'd hold ya hair back as ya hurl, or catch ya if ya fall... or, well, I'd probably laugh at ya when ya get stuck upside down." Although his expression didn't change, a devilish spark fell threw his eyes, knowing full well that this would probably not make her any more eager to get on the ride.

Wow... what a charmer.

___'s eye twitched at the thought of him laughing at her while she was hanging upside down, vomiting everything that she could. It was one of the most humiliating things she could imagine - a dictator, reduced to a human pinata - and she wasn't sure she could handle it if that scenario played out. "You would enjoy the heck out of that, wouldn't you?" She practically growled. "Seeing me suffering like that...?"

Wander's innocent smile widened at that. "Oh, you bet I would, darlin'!" He raised his voice cheerfully, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "I'd enjoy watchin' every second of your suffering, seeing ya squirm and thrash about like a worm on a hook!" He chuckled softly, his gaze never leaving her face. "But don't worry," he added, his voice sickly sweet, "I'd still offer to help ya down when ya were done pukin'. Wouldn't want ya to hurt yourself, after all!"

The woman huffed in annoyance, shaking her head at his cheeky response. "You're enjoying this too much, you know that?" She grumbled, folding her arms across her chest. "Fine then, you want me to get on the damn ride so badly? Let's do it. I'll show you how I handle this sort of thing." Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath, steeling herself for what was to come. "But if I throw up on you, I won't apologize. I'll probably relish it, in fact."

Wander's smile grew even wider as he saw her determination, amused by her fierce spirit. "Oh, that's the spirit!" he exclaimed, giving her an annoying pat on the shoulder. "And don't worry about the vomit, I'll just consider it a little present from ya!"

It almost sounded like he wanted her to puke on him.

...he seriously saw the good in everything, didn't he?

"That's... disturbing." The human muttered, shaking her head in disbelief and blinking at him, wondering just how sick in the head he really was. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Swiftly, she took a few steps forward toward the ride, which thankfully ended up with only her and Wander going onto - quite convenient -, silently questioning her own sanity as she took her place in the seat next to wandering weirdo. She closed her eyes once more, preparing herself for the inevitable sickness that was to come.

She was sure that she was going to be sick.

Once they were safely strapped in, Wander snuck a glance at her, taking in her closed eyes and rigid stance. He fought the urge to giggle at how cute she looked, trying to play off her fearlessness. He knew that deep down, she was probably quaking in her boots. But he admired her bravery, and her determination not to show any weakness. "Oh, come on, it ain't that bad," he teased, his eyes sparkling with wicked delight. "See, ya haven't even thrown up yet!" Then he reached out and placed a reassuring hand on her knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Just relax, darlin'. I'm right here with ya."

___'s eyes snapped open as she felt his hand on her knee, a mix of surprise and fear fluttering through her stomach (which did not help her nauseousness, in fact, it only made it more unbearable). She wanted to swat his hand away - to tell him to stop touching her, to stop being so damn cocky and self-assured - but another part of her found comfort in his presence. A part of her that she didn't want to acknowledge.

"Easy for you to say," She managed to mutter through clenched teeth.

Ah, to be a villain that made everyone shake with fear yet be scared of a carnival ride.

Now that was the life.

The nomad's smile softened a bit as he noticed the conflicted emotions passing through her orbs. He had a feeling he knew which part of her was winning. He continued to gently squeeze her knee, his touch surprisingly gentle and almost soothing. "Aw, don't worry," he said, his voice taking on a more comforting tone. "I've got ya. I ain't gonna let anything happen to ya."

At least, not anything that she wouldn't enjoy.

The villainess' mind was screaming at her to push him away, to put some distance between them. But something about the way he was looking at her, with those damn sparkling eyes and that charming smile, made her hesitate. She swallowed hard, trying to control her racing heart. "I can take care of myself," She retorted, but her voice lacked its usual edge.

Wander let out a small giggle, clearly enjoying the way she was trying to put up a tough front. "I have no doubt about that, darlin'. But sometimes it's nice to let someone else take care of ya, ain't it?" He didn't move his hand, his touch warm and inviting. "And who better to do that than little ol' me?" Before they knew it, the rollercoaster reached the top of the first hill, pausing for a moment before the inevitable plunge down. ___ was about to retort with a snarky response, but his words made her pause.

Who better to do that than little ol' me?

W̴h̵y̴ ̴d̵i̷d̸ ̷i̸t̸ ̴f̷e̴e̶l̴ ̷l̵i̴k̸e̶-̴

The ride suddenly lurched forward, stopping her whole thought process, hurtling down the first hill at breakneck speed. Her fingers gripped the safety bar tightly, holding on for dear life. But Wander, on the other hand, was completely relaxed. He didn't even bother holding onto the safety bar. Instead, he reached out and grabbed his date by her chin, gripping her cheeks between his fingers.

He pulled her closer to him, his eyes locked on hers with an unwavering intensity. His grin widened. "Time to take a leap, darlin'," he said, his voice low and sultry.

And before she could respond, Wander closed the gap between them, kissing her with a fierce passion. 

W h a t ?

She barely had time to register what was happening before his lips were on hers, stealing her breath away. The suddenness of it all made her head spin more than the ride did. She felt her cheeks flush and her stomach flip-flop for a completely different reason than the nausea-inducing adrenaline rush currently flowing through her veins. The villainess wanted to pull away, to break the kiss and push the nomad away, to slap the cocky, arrogant expression off of his face.

Yet somehow, her body refused to cooperate. 

H̸̤̗́͂̎͐̀͗̽͌̅̾e̸͇̱̰̒́͑̕r̷̨̝̖̱̤̽͜ͅ ̷̭̼͖̳̰̦͉͉̈́̇̌̎͋̾̕ͅş̸͓̳̞̩̼̖̳̫͙̋͐ţ̸̭̞͈̰̗͈͚̯̫̊o̶̧̩̤̦͔͍̘̖̓͊̇͒̕m̶̯̬̱̤̹̈́̃̒̓̒͛̃̌a̵͙͍̐̐́͐̐͐͌̓̀͠c̴͎̙̯̰̫͕̒̓h̵͍͕̼͛̈́͛̉͊͂ ̷̡̛̼̫̙͕̥͖͛̑̊̏͆͂̿͌͘c̴͈̓̽͋̏̄̽̎̉̕̕ȟ̶̪̝̲͚̜̘̫͋̔ṵ̶̧̞̼̺̘͕̣͌̄̈́͊̀̿̚̕͝r̵̛̰̘̮̲̟̒̈́̃̽̐̈́ͅn̶̥̟̮̣̣̲̆͐̎͜e̴̺̩̜̞̍̅̾͌͘̚ḑ̵̪̳̖̲͓̥͎̏̾͆̏,̷̻̣̜͖̳͙͇̥̈ ̵̧̭̠͈͖̯͓̻̹̻̾̆̀́̈́̄b̵̫͎̭̓̈́́̔̅ú̴̟͌t̶̲̘̹̰͕͔̠̝̮̮̿̆͆̈͆̐̂͝͠͝ ̸̖̙̂̉̇̈́̓͌̐ͅn̶̡̝̈̌̽́͑̅̓ṑ̴̡͈̳̟͚̲͈̮̪͈͊̑̈́́̍t̷͚̭̝̣̥̮̆̏̀͌̽͑̔͜ ̸̳̙̬̫͈̀̂̄͑̾̿͠ḃ̷̡̡͔͙̜͍̰̙̭́̾̏̐̃̉ȩ̸̠̬̘̰̄̆͋̚͝͝ͅc̵̛̱̩̳̥̋̊̓̓̓͘ȃ̴̧̡̩͇̼͖̻̔̋̉͛̉͜͝ư̶̝̣̥͓̼̲͔s̶̛͉̟̣̖͍͓̩̓͌̔ë̴̛̞́́͛̃̍̀̈́͝ ̶͕̺̞̰̹̫͍̜͔̌͂̅͂̐͒͠ǫ̶͕̗͕͓̽́̾f̷̧̨̦͖̣̮̰̜̲͉͂ ̴̬͓̖̪̾̿̌͆̑̓͘͜͠͠t̶̡̢̯̪͇̖̼̎͂͐͠h̴͎̹͎̦͇̘͝ę̶̞̦̠͙̦́́̈́̋̂̈͛̀̆̃͜ ̴̧̣̖̈́͠͝b̶̖̬̑̐̓̿̋̀̄̂̚͘ủ̶͙̱̮̞̠͐́̕͝t̸͔̳͇͓̖̲̩̬̽̎͋͆̂͠ͅt̵̻̑͆̾̈́̅̿͌̕͝͠ę̶̧̥̲͈̩͓̀̄̀ͅr̷̙͕̉͋̚f̷̢̜̩̝̀͐̀̆̂̊̀̍l̸̡͓̄̓̊͋͝͠į̵̤̪̼͔͚͖̠̉͂̓͆̈͒͜ĕ̸̛͔̪̭͓͎͑͂̈́̏̓̉͆̿s̶̤̮̰̟̋̀̆̌͋.̷̙͓̰̳̝͚͓̺̩͑͒͂͝ ̸̡̡̩̯̇̀̏̊͂̀̅

The human tried to cling to the safety bar still as the rollercoaster continued its frantic pace, but the small alien gently pried her trembling hands away from it. He placed them on his own shoulders instead, his grip on her chin tightening slightly.

He wanted her to know, that with him, she was safe.

His body pressed against hers, and she could feel his warmth radiating through her. The sensation set her heart racing even faster then the thrill of the ride itself. She felt powerless, completely at the mercy of his touch.

She should have pulled away.

A part of her wanted to push him away, but the more his lips moved against hers, the further that desire slipped from her grasp. She found herself losing herself in the moment, giving into the intoxicating, dizzying feeling of passion that consumed her whole.

He deepened the kiss, his grip tightening even more. She could feel his fingers pressing into her skin, branding her with his touch. She gasped, her body tensing as she struggled to keep up with this feverish encounter. The whole rollercoaster seemed to shake around them, the world spinning out of control from the dizzying combination of adrenaline from the ride and the intense rush of feelings that he was stirring within her.

It was all too much.

.̸̡̧̨̧̡̝͕̖̫̻̭̻͈̱͎̰͙̞̂̎̊́̑̈́̄̑́̈́͛̑̅̃́̓̿̽̒́̂̀̑͑̽͂̈̉̿̾͛̿͐̽̅̅̎̈́͌̎̚͝͝͠͠͝ͅBut despite herself, she didn't want him to stop.

.̸̡̧̨̧̡̝͕̖̫̻̭̻͈̱͎̰͙̞̂̎̊́̑̈́̄̑́̈́͛̑̅̃́̓̿̽̒́̂̀̑͑̽͂̈̉̿̾͛̿͐̽̅̅̎̈́͌̎̚͝͝͠͠͝ͅ

.̴̡̣̗͕̹͍̫͔̗̥̬̪̬̬͔͍̰͚͍̤̙̜̺͚͔̼̹̳̙̃͋̀͂̌͐̉̍̿̃̿͗͋̈͋̏̿̐͘ͅ.̸̡̧̨̧̡̝͕̖̫̻̭̻͈̱͎̰͙̞̂̎̊́̑̈́̄̑́̈́͛̑̅̃́̓̿̽̒́̂̀̑͑̽͂̈̉̿̾͛̿͐̽̅̅̎̈́͌̎̚͝͝͠͠͝ͅ.̸̡̧̨̧̡̝͕̖̫̻̭̻͈̱͎̰͙̞̂̎̊́̑̈́̄̑́̈́͛̑̅̃́̓̿̽̒́̂̀̑͑̽͂̈̉̿̾͛̿͐̽̅̅̎̈́͌̎̚͝͝͠͠͝ͅ.̸̡̧̨̧̡̝͕̖̫̻̭̻͈̱͎̰͙̞̂̎̊́̑̈́̄̑́̈́͛̑̅̃́̓̿̽̒́̂̀̑͑̽͂̈̉̿̾͛̿͐̽̅̅̎̈́͌̎̚͝͝͠͠͝ͅṔ̴̣̗̼͔͙͇̖́̐̈̓͑̎̂l̴̢̠͉͕͕̤̫̪͙͎͑̑͒̀̎͠͠ȩ̶̣̪̩͈̘̊̓a̵̬͆͗̃͐͂̍͋̊ş̶̢̲̠̎͜͝͠ë̶̢̧̘͖͇͈̫̜̆ ̵̢͓͚̱̖͙͖̺̻̲́̒̇͆̒͘̕ḩ̵̠̦̟̒́̎̀̽̉ ̴̢̧̛̛̦̺̝̜̳͔͇̈́̅͒̆̀̽̑ͅe̸̛͕̟̻̹̫͎̯̟̟͛ ̷̛͎̼̜͇͔̥̥̜̼̤̈́͊̀͌͛͝͠l̸̝͙͈̤͙̙͙̂̾́͗̒͝͠ ̴̡̳̙͖̬̠͖̓͌̓̿̀͘͘͜ͅp̶͉̭͚̮͙̔̋ ̴̨̱̙̹̜̻́̓̒̌ͅ ̷̘̻̪͓̮̯̟̆̒́̀̀̿̽͝ű̷̙̥̙̺̤͖̱̀̒̋s̴͍̯̠̻̖͓͙̭͝

.̸̡̧̨̧̡̝͕̖̫̻̭̻͈̱͎̰͙̞̂̎̊́̑̈́̄̑́̈́͛̑̅̃́̓̿̽̒́̂̀̑͑̽͂̈̉̿̾͛̿͐̽̅̅̎̈́͌̎̚͝͝͠͠͝ͅ

.̸̡̧̨̧̡̝͕̖̫̻̭̻͈̱͎̰͙̞̂̎̊́̑̈́̄̑́̈́͛̑̅̃́̓̿̽̒́̂̀̑͑̽͂̈̉̿̾͛̿͐̽̅̅̎̈́͌̎̚͝͝͠͠͝ͅS̴h̶e̵ ̶h̷e̴a̵r̸d̵,̵̢̧̧̛͈͚̠̻͍͈͕͈͍͓̰͈͈͉͖̱͔͍̪̺͕̭̤̺̈̃̎̋̌͑͌͊͛̏͊͒̉̕͝͠ ̸a̴ ̴v̸o̶i̵c̸e̸,̵ ̸b̴u̵t̴ ̶s̵h̴e̷ ̸,̶̢̖͕̍̀̉̉̿̍̕̕̚c̷h̴o̸s̵e̶ ̷t̸o̶ ̴i̴g̶n̷o̵r̵e̷ ̶i̶t̵.̸

.̸̡̧̨̧̡̝͕̖̫̻̭̻͈̱͎̰͙̞̂̎̊́̑̈́̄̑́̈́͛̑̅̃́̓̿̽̒́̂̀̑͑̽͂̈̉̿̾͛̿͐̽̅̅̎̈́͌̎̚͝͝͠͠͝ͅ.̸̡̧̨̧̡̝͕̖̫̻̭̻͈̱͎̰͙̞̂̎̊́̑̈́̄̑́̈́͛̑̅̃́̓̿̽̒́̂̀̑͑̽͂̈̉̿̾͛̿͐̽̅̅̎̈́͌̎̚͝͝͠͠͝ͅ

.̸̡̧̨̧̡̝͕̖̫̻̭̻͈̱͎̰͙̞̂̎̊́̑̈́̄̑́̈́͛̑̅̃́̓̿̽̒́̂̀̑͑̽͂̈̉̿̾͛̿͐̽̅̅̎̈́͌̎̚͝͝͠͠͝ͅ

The coaster crested another hill, but this time, it was followed by a sharp drop. The human let out a gasp as her stomach lurched slightly, but Wander's grip on her remained unwavering. He deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing the outline of her lips, as if trying to memorize the feel of her mouth. He could feel her shivering lightly against him, her hands clutching onto his shoulders for dear life. 

And he loved it.

The rollercoaster came to a sudden halt, causing both of their bodies to jerk forward. He pulled away slightly, breaking their kiss and resting his forehead against hers. His hands still held her face tenderly, his own breathing just as shallow and hurried as hers. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and his eyes searched hers with an intensity that made her feel naked under his gaze, taking in - with satisfaction - her flushed cheeks and the way her lips were parted slightly from the shared intimacy. 

"There ya go, darlin'," His voice was low yet held that familiar joy to itself. "Nothin' to be afraid of--"

Without warning, she raised her hand and slapped him across the face.

The nomad's head jerked to the side with the force of her slap, a look of genuine surprise (and maybe a smidge of admiration) flashing across his face. He pressed his fingers gingerly against his stuck cheek, rubbing the area in circular motions. Slowly, he turned his gaze back to the feisty woman that sat next to him, his grin growing in size once more. "Wow, darlin'," he drawled, his voice laced with a hint of amusement. "You gotta be careful with those hands of yours. I might start likin' them a little too much-"

Before she knew it, her hand was colliding with his cheek once more. 

And then again. 

And again.

And-

Eh, you get the idea.

With each slap, Wander's smile only grew. He didn't even try to stop her. In fact, he found himself enjoying the sting of her palm against his soft face. Every time she allowed him to, he rubbed the spot where the pain appeared, his eyes darkening with an unreadable emotion. "Darlin'" He finally spoke. "You keep doin' that, and you might just give me a fetish."

At that she paused mid-slap, her hand hovering just millimeters from his face, and then, she did something the nomad didn't expect. She looked down at her palm, her expression scrunching up in what could only be described as a look of absolute disgust. And then, she started to furiously wipe her hand on her clothes, as if trying to get rid of the feeling of her own hand.

And that made Wander giggle. 

He couldn't help it. Seeing her wipe her hand in such a fervent manner, as if she couldn't stand the touch of her own skin against his - especially after they just kissed -, was absolutely hilarious. "___" He exclaimed through his giddiness, his voice laced with mock indignation. "Are ya sayin' my face is that filthy?"

The woman's eyes narrowed at his teasing remark as she finally stopped her movements. "Your face is quite filthy." She retorted, a mix of annoyance and sarcasm. "But I'm not talking about the blood. I'm talking about the disgusting fact that I, a heartless villain, just willingly slapped a perverted nomad multiple times."

And kissed him! Can't forget about the kissing part!

...flarp.

"Aw, shucks, darlin'," Wander drawled, his southern accent thicker than ever. "I was just havin' a bit of fun. I guess I just have a way of makin' ya lose control." He winked at her slyly. "Though, I gotta admit, that lip lock was a real nice surprise."

She glared at him. "What do you mean surprise?! YOU kissed ME!"

But then, her eyes widened abruptly. 

As they sat there, suspended in midair on the stalled rollercoaster, the villainess suddenly realized that the ride had stopped. They were very high off the ground, and they were very stuck in their seats. And the whole realization hit the human like a bolt of lightning. She was alone. On a rollercoaster. Suspended in mid-air with him: a pervert with... questionable morals. Meanwhile, Wander didn't seem to care much. His eyes sparkled with excitement as he noticed how high up they were. He squeaked suddenly, his voice full of glee, and immediately started pointing at all the sights around them. He enthusiastically gestured towards a group of people below them, waving at them with a broad grin on his face. Then, he turned to his date and exclaimed,

"Look! We're like... super high up! Ain't it exciting, darlin'!"

"Exciting?!" She exclaimed. "Wander, we're stuck hundreds of feet off the ground! How in Grop's name are you not even remotely scared?!"

Did he have no self-preservation senses at all?

The more she thought about it, the more it sounded like it was the case. 

The nomad seemed genuinely surprised by her question, his head tilting slightly as he turned to look at her. He blinked twice, as if he was trying to register her concerns, and then he finally spoke. "Scared?" He repeated, the corner of his mouth turning upwards in a playful grin. "Oh, my darlin', I ain't scared at all. In fact, I'm havin' the most fun I've had in ages!" He exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with childlike joy. "We're up in the sky... and we're all alone!"

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Boink boink~"

___'s eyes widened at that remark. "Stop saying that!" She practically yelled, her cheeks burning with a sudden heat. "And what do you mean we're alone?! Someone's bound to come by eventually and get us. This rollercoaster ride doesn't just stop indefinitely, you know!"

Wander just shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, in that case," he began, his voice a bit teasing. "We better make our time here count, don'tcha think?" Before she could react, Wander leaned in, his face inches from hers, which caused her to lean away, almost becoming a wallflower on the cushioned seat. 

Her heart rate spiked at their sudden proximity. She could feel his warm breath ghosting over her face, and a tingling sensation ran down her spine. But she quickly regained her composure, planting a firm hand on the man's forehead and forcefully pushing his face away. "Wander," she hissed, her voice laced with a mix of annoyance and surprise. "There's no way we're doing that right now!!"

Or ever, she wanted to say, but she knew darn well that it wasn't exactly the case.

Wait what?

The helper blinked, his eyes widening slightly. He looked taken aback by her reaction, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Whoa there'," He mumbled, his voice a mix of surprise and playfulness. "Geez, mind out of the gutter much?" He tsked, like he wasn't the pervert during their first meeting. "I was jus' about to suggest we play some games to pass the time." Wander replied nonchalantly, but then decided to move his eyebrows suggestively again. 

"Though if you're in that sort of mood-"

"No." She interjected, smacking him to emphasize her point. "In fact, I'd rather pet a porcupine."

Wander's face contorted with pain and his eyes widened at the sudden slap. "OW!" He exclaimed, his voice echoing in the enclosed space. He rubbed his cheek, wincing slightly. "Gosh dangit, darlin', y'ain't gotta be so feisty all the time!"

The villainess simply rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest, her expression stern. "Well, if you'd stop making all those dumb comments, I wouldn't have to."

"What? It's just a little friendly teasing, no need to get all worked up," The noodle-armed hero giggled, his voice still slightly tinged with amusement despite the sting of her slap. "Besides, can ya blame me? You're just too fun to tease!" He flashed her a smile, trying to lighten the mood. "I mean, we gotta find a way to pass the time, right? Might as well have a lil' fun with it."

___ just smacked the palm of her hand to her face, groaning.

Why the heck did she agree to give him a chance again?

"Fun?"  She scoffed, shaking her head. "You have a strange definition of fun, you know that? And here I thought I was on a date, not in a slapstick comedy routine." She narrowed her orbs, clearly unamused.

"Aw, c'mon, darlin'," He replied teasingly. "Ya know ya like my humor, even if it gets a lil' outta hand sometimes. It keeps life interestin'!"

"Oh, please," She retorted. "Your humor is about as dry as the desert. It's like you've never heard of subtlety in your life."

Wander feigned a look of exaggerated hurt, clutching his chest. "GASP! Darlin', you wound me! My humor may be a lil' rowdy, but it's all in good fun. Besides, life's more fun with a splash of silliness and a whole lotta laughter!"

___ rolled her eyes again. "Right, because getting slapped in the face is just hysterical."

"It kinda is, but in a more 'gets a fella goin' sort of way!" 

...

"Yeah, ew."

After that, for a moment they just sat there quietly as the wind blew through their hair - or in Wander's case, fur. The nomad was swinging his legs back and forth, looking around like he was on some kind of acid trip and the human woman found herself seriously questioning if she went on a date with a lunatic, or if she was the problem in the situation. Honestly it was hard to tell, considering the whole thing made her feel like she was losing her sanity. At a quickened pace as well. Because what kind of villain goes on a date with the hero, and makes out with them?

___, apparently. 

The silence between them felt... heavy, in a way. Wander's eyes drifted to the female, observing her reactions and expressions as she absorbed the current predicament. He couldn't help but notice the growing look of concern on her face, mixed with a hint of confusion. He opened his mouth to speak, breaking the momentary quiet. "You alright, darlin'? You look a bit perplexed."

Wha-

"You're asking me if I'm alright?" She snapped back. "We're stuck here on this damn cart, you're acting like you're about to jump off a cliff, and you're asking me if I'm alright?" 

Wander took notice of her reaction but didn't let it deter him. "Well, yeah, I am," he replied, his tone sincere. "I mean, you look a bit... troubled, ya know. I just wanted to make sure yer doin' okay."

The woman blinked at him, her mouth slightly agape. Was this what normal dates were like? Were they supposed to be like that? But honestly, even if they were, that didn't mean she was enjoying herself. Well, not fully at least. And knowing that she wouldn't be able to leave the cart for - possibly - a long while made her let out a sigh and hide her face in her hands, aching to scream into them. She had so much work to do, so much villainous schemes to plan and yet... she was stuck on a rollercoaster with Wander, the goody-two-shoes she was supposed to hate. And worst of all, she was the one who agreed to give him a chance and go on a second date.

But he did say that she was the first person he actually wanted to have something with, other than just a one-night stand.

It was... flattering.

Although a bit confusing.

Wander noticed her reaction and he let out a soft exhale, feeling a mix of concern and understanding. "Ain't the date goin' too well, is it?" He asked, his tone gentle and devoid of any judgment. He knew how the woman might feel and he wasn't about to pressure her into enjoying the date if she wasn't. He wanted her to be honest and open with her feelings, allowing her to choose how she truly felt about their current predicament.

The villainess let out another heavy sigh, lowering her hands from he face as she looked at the alien. A mix of vulnerability and frustration was clearly etched on her features. "No, Wander," She replied, her voice laced with irritation. "It's not really going too well. I mean, look at where we are, stuck on this damn cart, going around in circles. It's not exactly what I had in mind for a date, if I have to be honest."

But then her eyes moved to the side, looking down at the carnival below. The happy couples - which made her gag before - made the woman frown slightly, her troubled expression evident.

"...but it's not like I expected anything at all..."

And it was true. She was a villain, she only ever did one-night stands before Wander - just like the nomad did with his other partners -, so she wasn't exactly the best person when it came to such things. Normally, she would take pride in it, finding the whole idea of dating ridiculous and sickening.

But deep down she really wanted something out of this, whatever it was.

He turned his attention to her, observing her troubled expression as she glanced at the couples below. A flicker of curiosity and empathy welled up within him. So he decided to gently place a hand on her shoulder, offering a comforting touch. "Darlin', can you help me understand somethin'? I don't wanna pry, but I can't shake off the feelin' that there's a lot more to yer story 'en meets the eye. Why'd ya end up on this path of villainy?"

The woman glanced over at Wander's hand on her shoulder with somewhat of a frown. Her expression slightly softened however, her irritation slowly fading. She was never secretive about her past, it wasn't anything that mattered anyway, so she didn't care about hiding it from anyone. Although nobody ever asked, up until now, which made her feel... good? Something along those lines at least. "There's not a grand backstory or a traumatic past to my villainy," She replied. "I didn't have a terrible childhood, no 'oh boo-hoo I had a bad thing happen so I'm evil' cliché. I just found solace in causing trouble, and I enjoy the power it gives me. And the thrill, I guess."

And blowing up buildings and planets along the way always brightened up a bad day. 

It was just fun, as simple as that.

Wander's expression softened in understanding as he listened to her words, his hand still resting gently on her shoulder. He didn't expect a dramatic backstory or a tragic past, but hearing that she was driven by a simple enjoyment of chaos and the thrill of power made him even more curious about her perspective. "Yer not a villain for some grand, dramatic purpose then, huh?" He said thoughtfully. "It's all about the simple joy of raisin' a bit of ruckus, havin' a bit of fun, and feelin' that power. Is that it?"

"Yeah, pretty much," She  replied with a shrug, looking back at him. "I'm not like Hater for example, some misunderstood anti-hero or a misguided soul. I don't have some noble cause or a twisted past to justify my actions. I just enjoy causing chaos and feeling like I'm in control." Then she paused, a small flicker of self-awareness in her eyes. "It makes me feel powerful and free, I guess. And it's a lot more straightforward and less messy than... this." She gestured vaguely to the couples below.

And yet she was on a date with the orange weirdo. 

She really needed to get a grip. 

With a small giggle, his eyes started twinkling with understanding. "Y'know, darlin', there's somethin' oddly refreshing about yer honesty," He said, his hand slowly slipping away from her shoulder. "Most folks are tangled up in their own justifications and moral dilemmas, tryna find a reason for everythin'. But you, you're just... raw, unapologetic, and straight to the point."

He tilted his head curiously. "But, I gotta ask, does it ever get lonely?"

The woman's expression softened for a moment, a tiny glimmer of vulnerability showing through the cracks. However, she quickly pushed it down, her usual sarcasm and guardedness coming back. "Lonely?" She repeated, feigning casualness. "Why would I be lonely? I have the respect and fear of an entire galaxy, isn't that enough?"

But deep down, she knew the truth. The power and control she had were double-edged swords: while they gave her satisfaction, they also left her feeling isolated and misunderstood. 

Wander's keen eyes noticed the flicker of vulnerability in her response, and he couldn't help but sense the underlying loneliness that lurked beneath her tough exterior. "Respect and fear, sure, darlin'," He said gently. "But that don't fill the void of true connection, the comfort of bein' genuinely understood." He gave her a small smile. "I reckon bein' feared and respected can become lonely, as folks might not really know the person behind the villainy. But I see somethin' more to you."

She raised an eyebrow at the observation, her defenses quickly going up. "Don't try to psychoanalyze me, Wander," She snapped, her usual demeanor returning. "I don't need anyone to look past my so-called 'villainy' and try to find some hidden depth. I am who I am, and I don't need your 'understanding'." She shook her head dismissively. "This isn't some sappy romance novel, or a redemption arc. I'll stay who I am, thank you very much."

Of course Wander wanted to change her ways, it was what he did after all. Honestly it was probably why he even asked her for 'a chance', to go on a second date. It did keep her from carrying out any villainous schemes for the night and he was making her open up, asking questions about that topic when they were all alone. Grop, how was she so---

"Whoa there, darlin', I ain't tryin' to 'psychoanalyze' ya or change who you are!" 

Wait, what?

Wander held up his hands placatingly. "I'm just sayin', sometimes havin' someone who sees ya for who you are, flaws an' all, can be kinda nice. And I'm not askin' you to change or start singin' kumbaya and bein' a goodie-two-shoes either!" He paused, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"But..."

The villainess cocked an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. "But?" She prompted, not sure where Wander was going with this.

Wander grinned, a joyful yet devilish tint dancing in his black orbs. "But," He began, drawing out the word playfully, "what if bein' a villain doesn't mean you gotta be all moody and alone all the time? What if you can have a bit of fun, cause a bit of chaos, and have someone who genuinely cares about you?" He gave her a wink. "It ain't about changin' you, darlin', it's about findin' balance. Bein' a villain doesn't mean you can't have a little company along the way."

And in a way, both of them knew that she was already doing exactly that. Because after all, she always went on blind dates - even if only for sexual pleasure. But now, she agreed to meet with Wander again, after their 'date', despite her usual nature.

___ actually tried to do something with her life.

Ew, mushy stuff.

Though she found herself clearly considering the nomad's words. She was a woman of her own and she wasn't easily swayed, yet there was something in Wander's perception that seemed to resonate with her. She looked at him, an enigmatic expression on her face. "Balance.." She repeated, the word hanging in the air between them. "You're suggesting a middle ground between villainy and... well, you. But I'm not the type to settle down, Wander. I don't do long-term."

But despite herself and her nature, she gave him a small smile. "I did decide to give this a chance, yes, but I also did say that I don't do love, remember?"

Wander nodded, understanding her stance. "I ain't askin' for a picket fence and happily-ever-after, darlin', I just want to spend time with ya," He replied simply. "And if that time includes a bit of villainy and some good ol' fashioned chaos, well, I'm game. But if it involves you actually bein' happy and feelin' somethin' other than loneliness, even better."

He smiled warmly, his eyes twinkling with genuine sincerity. "Balance doesn't mean we gotta change who we are, it just means we can be who we are together."

The wind blew, and Wander held his hat to keep it from flying away.

H̷̛͍̳̤͔̣̫̜̻̼̼͚͋̆̔͑̓̿̽͜͝e̴̳̘̟͒̔̇̓̏̒͋͑̃̋̈́̊̋ ̴͔͕̠͈̮̤͚̺͍̙͙͒̓̓ṯ̶̡̨̛̛̛͓̱̘͎̦͎̻̫̌͑̾́̆̈̐͛̚r̸̰͍͎̹͇͉͕̭̬͂̚i̷̡͕͉̟̇ě̴̞͉͇̪̤̃̓̓͌̚ḑ̶̻͍̦̬͖̱̼͕͎̙̅̎̈ ̶͖̼̯͕̌̌͂͜ͅţ̸͓͉̮͍̯͎͎̲͉̰͕͊͗̐̀͗͆̌̚o̵̝̠͍̞̘̙̲̯͙̮̰̲̩̿ ̴̮͖̙̱̫͍͖̙̠̪̤͝h̶̪̙̞̜̯̲̘̳͉̺̆̿̌̔̊̾̅͑͜ó̴̠̺͉̄̃̉l̵̡͕̗̟̻̣̰̘̱̝̎̔d̶̟̳̲̱̣̒̀̅̄̉ ̸̙͕̀͐̋͗̈́̉͌o̸͙̘͔̪̳͑̈́n̶̢̮̭̍̓̈́̑͋̈́̈̿͛͂̓͘͝.̴̡͖͓͎̟̙͕͎̖̦͈̙͒͋̃̎̅̋̄̔͝

A pink, almost red in color hue appeared around his black orbs as he whispered "And I'll be right by your side, always." As he finished, the scarlet shade left as quickly as it appeared, as if it was never there in the first place. There was something about his tone, but not enough to make the female question it. 

Not taking into account the small change, the female's demeanor softened as he spoke, his words cutting through her tough exterior. The mention of loneliness hit close to home, and it was clear that she craved companionship just like anyone else. So she studied him for a long moment, her eyes searching his, then let out a small sigh. "You really are persistent, aren't you?" She said finally, chuckling softly. "And infuriatingly optimistic."

"And persistent is my middle name!" Wander said with a chuckle, his smile growing as he saw the small hint of a change in the villainess. "But if you're askin' if I'm going to give up on ya, darlin', the answer is a big ol' fat 'no." He paused, his expression growing more serious, but with a hint of warmth in his orbs.

"I ain't ever going to give up on you, ___. Never."

She couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her at his insistence. "You really are incorrigible, you know that?" She replied, shaking her head with amusement. "But if you think I'm going to fall for your sweet-talking and your endless optimism..." Her expression was turning skeptical as she spoke. "Well, you might be in for a long wait, Wander. I've faced down armies, conquered galaxies, and made entire civilizations tremble at the mere mention of my name. You think you can win me over with a few charming words and a goofy smile?"

Wander's grin only grew wider at her words. He knew that she was tough and independent, but that just made him admire her even more. "Oh, I don't expect to win you over with just my charm and wit, darlin'," He said with a playful wink. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, too."

A small smirk that tugged at the corner of her lips. Though she wanted to deny it, there was something about his insistent optimism and his unrelenting determination that was starting to wear down her defenses even more. But she wasn't going to let him know that just yet. "You can try, Wander," She said, her tone teasing. "But don't be surprised if you exhaust yourself before you ever get through to me."

Wander's smile turned conspiratorial at her declaration. "Oh, darlin', I've got plenty of energy to keep trying," Playful charisma dripped from his voice. "And I don't get tired easily. I've been traveling the galaxy for centuries, meeting all sorts of folks, and learning all sorts of tricks." His eyes sparkled with mischief once more. "And I ain't about to let something as simple as a little resistance from a stubborn gal like you stop me."

"So you just keep on thinking you're immune to my charms, darlin'."

[eshtaresht]

oh damn oh jees I'm so normal sooo sooooo normal rn ahaha! emotionally, I'm feeling sorta ZGBZFDHZV HV ZDH DZVVZDS ZD ZZV LZV. like, it's trigun, I expected it to hit hard BUT I DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO HIT SO HARD spoilers for ep 10 under the cut as usual

tbh I'm mostly shaking about the next ep and impending season finale, but this one was still pretty brutal

firstly, the goofs. vash fucking SNEESING and getting ruthlessly bullied by wolfwood is pretty much in spirit of their relationship in 98' anime and I'd love to see more of it (pls I hope there'll be a season 2)

scar reveal! I was afraid they're gonna give him a glow up and yeah, some scars are barely visible, but the other ones look awful. so, everything I hoped for, good to see he's in pain /j. also nico tried so hard not to stare at shirtless vash... he's looking away respectfully

vash is such a wet cat pathetic paperbag of a guy... just let that guy take a shot, barely flinched, took the bullet 'cause he thinks he deserved it. didn't even think of attending the wound until wolfwood said so. and, mind you, vash doesn't have any superhuman abilities so that must've hurt like hell

nico's job is so funny because to keep vash safe he has to get into mega epic fights, but also remind that idiot to eat and take care of wounds. again, vashwood duo feels more like the original now, after the sandsteamer. I think nico actualy started caring about vash since he saved the orphanage, it's great to see him conflicted with his mission

also policemen from ep 1 and the guy who shot vash are like... second best side characters in stampede and this is not a compliment. the best ones are nomads who ate worms btw

oh meryl, she's gonna girlboss so hard now... woe to all the haters and naysayers, she's getting character development and faces the same conflict as vash and nico thus gaining more narrative significance!! don't get me wrong, manga and 98' anime meryl was a crucial character, but she's getting much more freedom in stampede to develop and get into action

the moment where she gets up during wolfwood voiceover is when we start to see the "iron lady" and I'm so here for it! now we just have to wait for her designated therapy dog girlfriend to appear and when I can be at peace

tbh I don't really care about roberto. no hate, just neutral, rip drunckle grumps

everybody just dumped zazie... so rude, meryl didn't even answer their question >:(

elendira is..... not bad, but disappointing in comparison to the manga's gorgeously evil and hilariour girlboss who was also explicitly trans! oh look, she's a child experiment plant hybrid now, yay... meh

TESLA CONFIRMED omg I'm SOO exited for the next episode we're gonna be in SO MUCH PAIN

knives yeeting vash into the pit got a giggle out of me, but also... damn he actually was preparing all these years, crafting a perfect trap. and all the plants... he couldn't fix them and boy oh boy, I'm pretty sure he gathered them not for safekeeping... HE'S GONNA DO A LAST RUN ON THEM TO "FIX" VASH!! that was probably what elendira was refering to when she started crying

I am the normallest about this. these twins are such hyppocrites I wanna study and dissect them. knives doing the most cruel thing to his sisters so he can get rid of everything that makes vash human in hopes that if they were on the same footage they would finally stay together.......

and the words that he says to vash hurt so much more because it's true. he does love humans, but the main thing driving him is guilt. in stampede, more than ever, vash blames himself for pretty much all human suffering, because he helped the great fall happen. no wonder he's so depressed and not nearly as goofy! homeboy doesn't just protect the lives rem saved, his pacifistic quest is penance for all the people he (thinks he) killed

july is going to destroy him.

[hammerhead-jpg]

Rewatching the begining of the house of Solaire series as a redacted fan, three years after it's release, as someone who honestly didn't really like it

Summit live reaction esque post alright

Warning: I luuuv redacted okay I just don't like the start of this particular series alrightttt I'm not a hater okay don't come at me (also this isn't some serious critique/analysis dw we're just messing around)

First off: Audio RP | found by a flirty vampire

The best part of the first video is the beginning with the video tape being played that's honestly such a slay move

CRINGING RIGHT AWAYYY EUGG

I honestly hate beginning Vincent I wish a piano would fall on him

WHY IS HE FLIRTING SO AGGRESSIVELY AN INCUBUS TRYING TO FIND A CHARGE WOULD BE MORE CLASSY

And this is an old video (the first one to be exact) so he's doing that weird half whispering thing and there's no sound effects

Idk why y'all headcannon Lovely to be a woman this creature is completely fine with some stranger coming up to them in a dark creepy abandoned theme park and hitting on them aggressively they have the preservation skills of a dodo bird

"just what kind of things have you heard? Maybe that uh... devilishly handsome men with pale skin and silver eyes prowl the grounds?"

"demons are very much real"

William and the other clan members listening to Vincent break covert for some they/them bussy: 😐😐😐😐

"Oh I know I'm very close, you're welcome!" KILL YOURSELF!!!!!

I HATE when he calls them "little one" YOU'RE WEIRD are you 20 or 40 PICK ONE YOU CAN'T BOUNCE BETWEEN BOTH YOU'RE WEIRD

"Oh hush I'm not touching" STOOPPP STOPP ITTTT IF YOU PULL THIS SHIT WITH THE WRONG PERSON YOU'RE GETTING TAZED

"do you work out?" YOU ARE GAAAYYY🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

"And a blush! Oh how cute" WHITE MAN MOMENT!!! WHITE MAN MOMENT ERIK YOU ARE A WHITE MAN!!!!

First "Lovely" drop how we feelin

Adam is getting cucked HARD at that meeting rn send a prayer for him

"You should be very grateful that I found you before one of my counterparts did." WHY ARE YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP ADMITTING THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE IN YOUR CLAN THAT WOULD HURT AN UNEMPOWERED HUMAN THAT WONDERED ONTO WONDERWORLD GROUNDS??? KICK THEM OUT????

"I'm old enough to keep my hunger in check. Some of them are still... learning." Now Adam is not only getting cucked but getting dissed also pray for that man

"Your blood practically sings to me, you know that?" This is a good time to remind the audience that Lovely at this point still thinks that Vincent is pretending to be a vampire and still hasn't booked tf out of there

7:18 tummy rumble #1

"it isn't safe here at night." Why??? Again if there are legitimately clan members that you think would harm a human beyond what is allowed by law you shouldn't keep them in the clan??? I get that this is supposed to foreshadow Adam but isn't Vincent at this point supposed to believe that Adam is just a newborn asshole who doesn't like following the rules? IF YOU THINK HE'S CAPABLE OF INJURING OR EVEN KILLING A UNEMPOWERED HUMAN FOR FUNZIES TELL THE DEPARTMENT ABOUT IT???

"You'd barely be able to walk by the time I'm done with you" RUN LOVELY RUN

WILLIAM AND ALEXIS AND SAM ARE LISTENING TO THIS BTW.

8:40 tummy rumble #2

"all you have to do is call my name" okay I get that vampires have superior hearing but are we supposed to believe he's going to be able to hear them calling out for him across the city? How is my man not constantly overwhelmed?

Vincent going back to the meeting like "what did I miss lmao"

Honestly congratulations on Erik because people saw this video and went "you know what, I'm gonna subscribe to this guy"

Thank God this isn't the first video I saw because if it was I would be doing my impression of what Lovely should've done as soon as Vincent approached them and sprinting away at full speed

Next vid:

Audio RP | Finding a flirty vampire in your bed

LOVELY RUN A STRANGE MAN THAT PRETENDS HE'S A VAMPIRE JUST APPEARED IN YOUR HOME CALL THE POLICE!!!

He just called himself a hunk I'm killing myself

Vincent you are no hunk half the fandom headcannons you to have the sluttiest waist and aesthetic skinny Pinterest fingers you are a twink

I saw the imperium AU alright. I was THERE

And I'm not just talking about imp Adam, I'm talking about Imp! ASHER. You think I didn't see that shit?

"What's the matter Lovely? Weren't expecting to come home to find a man on your bed?' YES.

"These sheets are heavenly by the way. I'm sure they must feel good balled up in your fists."

The sheets in question:

"So many questions, don't you ever go with the flow?"

Vincent really just said "when I'm waiting for you in your bed after a long day I want appreciation! Not this "Who are you?" "How did you get into my house?" "What are you doing here?""

DON'T YOU GIGGLE AT ME LIKE YOU'RE CURRENT VINCENT I STILL DON'T LIKE YOU

AND YOU LOVELY DON'T YOU HIT HIM ALL PLAYFULLY LIKE HE ISN'T A STRANGE MAN THAT BROKE INTO YOUR APARTMENT!! YOUR ASS IS NOT HONEY SIT DOWN.

"Where exactly are we standing in terms of your beliefs?" Now he's talking like a therapist great.

3:21 tummy rumble #3

"Alright I'm serious. This is my serious voice. Can't you tell?"

Eugghhhhhhhhhhh

Senorita awesome everybody

"are you afraid I might put you in some kind of trans?" Too late 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

"bend your will to mine? Make your body and mind my playground?" Literally leave this shit to Adam. I don't need both of y'all pulling this noncon fantasy bullshit

"they gotta be contacts" wait til this mf find out some people have gray eyes naturally

My ass was so disappointed when I found out their eyes weren't red listening to this for the first time

"see? *tap tap tap* fangs" you can get fangs implanted by a dentist. Like I get you really are a vampire but like you're making this game extremely easy

7:33 tummy rumble #4

7:47 tummy rumble #5

Listen, if a strange man pins me down onto my bed to prove he has special abilities, super strength or not, I'm kicking him in the ballz to prove a point

"I wanted to take you right there." IN FRONT OF YOUR WHOLE CLAN??!?!?

Current Vincent: the Solaire clan doesn't need to kill to get what they want. I only killed Adam because I had to

Ep2 Vincent: I would've killed anyone who got close to you lmao ♥️

I want to focus at the matter at hand but all I can hear is Erik's chair rattling

"that was too close... I almost lost it" Vincent is turning into Lasko yay

"I won't loose control"- Vincent an episode before he looses control

And there he goes

Next vid:

Audio RP | Flirty vampire looses control

Time to get reminded that I actually hate Adam and that he's not just a silly little fact got vamp

HIS VOICE SOUNDED SO DIFFERENT EUGHHH

WHY HASN'T HE HIT PUBERTY YET ☹️

"What's the matter? Your little boyfriend never transed you before?" Well somebody's jealous

"I never would've pegged Vincent as the uh... sentimental type?" Believe me there is no universe where you're pegging Vincent in any way shape or form

1:09 tummy rumble #6

"We could all hear the conversation you two were having ya know." Yeah and you were edging yourself the whole time

"Oh relax I'm just touching you." Adam.

"Is a vampire toying with you a lot less fun when he's not a self conscious little coward?" ADAM😨

"Vincent isn't anything in this clan, I hope you know that." BOOO BOOO🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅CRINGE

For the love of god stop squealing you fruity piece of shit

This fucker is so gay why are you standing there fantasizing about what sort of intimate acts your nemesis was doing to this person

4:34 tummy rumble #7

Also someone please tell him to stop doing that weird ass high pitched wheeze laugh it's getting annoying

EWWW I DON'T LIKE TONGUE NOISES NO NO NOT LIKE THIS

How I imagine Vincent slapped Adam:

"Evening Vincent 💞😋" this fucker so gay

Him saying "oh fuck" with his voice all quivery and shit wasn't because he was scared it was cut he was hard I know Erik told me personally

The way Vincent doesn't sound intimidating at ALL LMAO

Imagine just getting practically assaulted and the guy who saved you starts growling "mine" I'd kms personally

"He, Adam, got my predator instincts going." SHUT UP OMGGGG

9:33 tummy rumble #8 ERIK EAT SOMETHING BEFORE FILMING GOTDAYM

"Why did you have to come here? I told you to stay away." You see it is because they are stupid. Hope that helps!

UGGG I HATE HIM "When Adam tries to bite you it's weird and fucked up but when I do it it's hawt🤪"

Vampire slurping noises yay

I like how in the desc he clarifies that Adam and Vincent are two different people and that it's not a Jekyll and Hyde situation

What he thought we were gonna think happened fr:

I'll probably do more videos later but I'm tiered now

[sammygender]

Choose violence ask game. 16 and 21. ❤️

ask game

thank u sm for enabling me to be a hater

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing

well dstiel obviously though i do understand why people like it so much. it's because they're stupid.

aside from that.. oh wait this one is so random and no hate whatsoever (in fact only love) to people who like it but i don't really like transmasc dean in a canon setting. as an au it's incredibly interesting but i see it as occupying similar space to a cis girl dean au in a way where it definitely is..... an AU. in canon like. yeah no. that's NOT a trans guy im sorry. trans guys can be annoying dont get me wrong. but you'd have to be VERY special to be annoying the way he is. also he wouldnt transition for ages cause hes dean winchester and he likes to conform to and in fact play up his expected role. so he certainly wouldve not transitioned in the canon when we see him.

i dont feel this way at all about transmasc sam however. he'd be the same pretty much. as would transfem sam who we all know i adore. anyway i'll probably change my mind in a week and get obsessed with transmasc dean and post 20 times in a row about it and you are all allowed to pelt me with rocks.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

this was surprisingly hard. in the interest of being interesting and not just going for 'destiel' or something, i'm actually going to say kripke era. it IS my favourite era!! its objectively the best in terms of writing, atmosphere, plot, characterisation. like no contest, obviously. in fact when i recommend the show to people i tell them just to watch the first 5 seasons (while planning on baiting them into continuing after swan song by going 'but its suchhh a bad ending for sam :(( dont you want to see what happens next.....').

so i use 'overhyped' very loosely to mean that despite me recognising it as objectively superior to the rest of the show, i don't actually hugely enjoy a lot of it that much more than i enjoy later on? a lot of my favourite parts of supernatural are heavily built on in the later seasons, or even introduced then. sam & lucifer's cage dynamic and everything resulting from it. the gadreel violation and in fact most of sam's..... everything. ofc this is all present in kripke and it's explored much Better and thematically and gothically and its just more atmospheric and intentional-seeming. whereas late seasons is kind of like this hodge-podge by different writers where you get these insane and intentional gems amid a bunch of white noise. but i just.... im a late seasons kind of person!! i loved buffy s6!! i enjoy works jumping the shark and i enjoy what art becomes when it already has so much to build on. shrug emoji.

like. ok. what first made me compulsively obsessive over supernatural (after the dean daddy issues, which i HAVE to admit hooked me........this is why im the ultimate critique of deangirls, because i was one for 3 seasons <3) was sam & azazel, the metaphor & violation present in his whole demon blood storyline. obvi this is kripke era. and i have to give kripke era credit for it. but a lot of what i consider fundamental to sam & this theme of uncleanliness especially in regards to assault and violation in some way is just soo built on post kripke. his cage trauma in s7. 8x21's "i'm not clean" speech. every compounding incident that happens to sam and his body, from gadreel possession to chuck in s15................

BASICALLY this is to say not that kripke era is really overrated but that so much credit is given to it at the expense of late seasons, when the domestic horror, cycle-of-abuse-sitcom, gabriel's tv show style thing it becomes is actually such a huge part of my enjoyment of spn. and wow i never thought i would be saying this. but i watched riverdale so idk what i was expecting. sigh. but really. what other show is giving us toxic polycule made up of brothers and an Angel of God coparenting the devil's child... also the devil happens to be brother #1's (sam is brother #1) abusive ex.... and hes currently fighting the polycule for custody rights. also the kid was born last week and hes 15. like sorry this is so fundamental to my supernatural. i could never rewatch and stop at s5. i rewatch late seasons eps all the time. ALSO LATE SEASONS SAM WINCHESTER. LIKE. COME ON. EARLY SEASONS SAM IS OVERRATED COMPARED TO LATE SEASONS. <3

[luescris]

Listen. Guys. Listen.

As you all may or may not know. I have a massive, huge despise for 2012!Shredder. The rage I feel against him will never die. I am one of his biggest haters.

..... However.

What if I told y'all. That I also have a Oroku Saki redemption au. Not Shredder. But Oroku Saki.

Don't get me wrong. They're both terrible people, one just less so than the other.

But here's the thing. Here's where this all started.

You all remember the episode when Shredder came back again in season 5 right??? How he was not at all himself, very much more of a mellow, depressed "follow instead of lead" kind of person???? And how he quite literally shoved Kavaxas back into hell??????

Hell must have done some real fucking shit to make Shredder rethink his entire life like that. Like no way in hell would he have ever helped the turtles out like that by his own free will before. It's something that I think about daily and I have not been able to get it out of my head because it was SO out of character for him and as much as I hate him and know that I nor the Turtles would never, in a million years, give him a chance of redemption for all the shit he's done...

That part has got me thinking.

Like. Imagine this. Somehow, someway, because of that sudden out of pocket good deed, Oroku Saki is more or less cursed. Cursed to go back to the living, but not as a living, breathing human being. Not exactly a zombie, but not alive either. And he is cursed to watch after the turtles until every single one of his wrongdoings are at least somewhat forgiven and he's able to maybe move on to the next part of life.

So like. One day, the turtles get back from a patrol in a mostly good mood, only to absolutely stop and freeze when seeing they have an unknown visitor sitting on the couch, waiting for them.

Said visitor being Oroku Saki. No burns, no helmets or armor, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, cargo pants, sunglasses and holding a coffee in his hand. And all he does is stare back at the turtles completely and utterly calm.

It takes a minute for something to click, but immediately Leo is on it, moving within the blink of an eye to press his sword against Saki's throat and hissing, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't chop your head off right here, right now."

And Saki, ever so cooly, takes off his glasses and stares right into hate filled glare and goes, "You can't."

He then explains why they can't kill him, and how every time they try he would only bleed and nothing more, making a complete mess of their lair. April of course reads his mind (A bit too forcefully too because She Mad) but is surprised to learn that he was telling the utmost truth.

Saki then tells them that he's cursed to watch over them, and can't do anything else until his sins are attoned for, and none of the turtles know what to do about this entire thing, utterly stumped.

I'm not sure what happens in between them and the time he attempts to apologize after a few days of the turtles begrudgingly letting him stay but more so as a prisoner (at one point the man attempts to apologize but that only makes Leo snap and he runs a sword through him while saying, "You gave me these scars! Gave me this voice! This knee! You killed are father three times! The time for apologies is over!!! Do you understand?!?'' Will probably break down about it later with his brothers but yeah lmao) .

And of course once Karai finds out, she also immediately tries to attack, only to be completely baffled and betrayed when the turtles stop her, and even after they explain she's not only in denial, but filled with hatred, and vows to find a way to kill Saki before storming off.

I'm not sure what bonds there'd be. If any at all. Because this concept is SO odd to me and I could NEVER see the boys wanting ANYTHING to do with Saki in any form. But if anyone has any ideas they may want to add PLEASE say so I would like to hear them gfhfhdhd

Anyway. There's my super weird "Uncle(?) Saki" au. Do with this what you will fhdghxhddh