#don't get me wrong I would love to see Alex but I am keeping myself busy

[misskattylashes]

I notice the fandom seems to be split into two during this hiatus..

Group one:

Where are they? Where is Alex? I want a recent....

Group Two:

I am going to scour over nearly twenty years of Arctic Monkeys music to find all proof of Milex

[musaslullaby]

Cosplay time

George Russell x fem reader

Summary: George Russell have a cosplayer girlfriend

Warning: nothig

Face: zoogirlq, eurobeat_kasumi_ebk and random people on Pinterest

a/n: It's the first time I'm doing something like this, so if it sucks, please forgive me.

Masterlist

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪

yncosplay_

liked by gerogerussell63,user2,charlesleclerc,landonorris and other 489387489

Desription:

A cosplay of wolverine thanks, to my photographer @.georgerusselll63. Remember that this weekend I will be at the race.

georgerussell63: You're so beautiful.

User49: She's so cute

user33: Where do you buy cosplay?

yncosplay_: I do it by myself

landonorris: the best female Wolverine I've ever seen.

yncosplay:You will be my Deadpool

user90: When the couple cosplay?

user77: I hope soon

charlesleclerc :George will definitely find a way to be shirtless.

user90: Charles💀

georgerussell63: It's not true, I never go out without a shirt.

yncosplay_: yes

francisca.gomez: I can't wait to see you again, my love

yncosplay_: Baby I'll kidnap you.

pierregasly: @.georgerussell Keep an eye on your girlfriend

georgerussell63

liked by yncosplay_,maxverstappen1,mercedesamgf1 and other 47884885

description: It was a fantastic race, thank you for being there with me my love.

yncosplay_: I am so proud of you, I love you very much.

georgerussell63: I love you too

mercedesamgf1: Congratulations George!

user09: On race with style

user23: obviously otherwise it wouldn't be George

maxverstappen1: Next time I'll fuck your ass

user49: poor him

charlesleclerc: You're wrong, I'll win

yncosplay_: When the Ferrari wins again, a meteorite will crash on Earth

charlesleclerc: don't tease us

landonorris: She's right, accept it

yncosplay_

liked by gerogerussell63,francisca.gomez,landonorris and other 489387489

description: Welcome to our Wondarland.

It was tiring to do your makeup, especially for you, Lando, but I had fun.

landonorris: You were literally destroying my face with that makeup

yncosplay_: It wasn't that bad, you're always so dramatic.

georgerussell63: I don't know what else to say except that I'd join you in Wonderland now.

charlesleclerc: A little more imagination, Mr Russell

user80: Have you noticed how Yn looks at Lando in the second photo?

user49: What are you insinuating?

user30: bro they're just friends

francisca.gomez: Besides Lando's complaints, everything was beautiful.

landonorris: I didn't complain so much

yncosplay_: are you sure?

francisca.gomez: yes, are you sure?

user43: Where were @.giorgerussell63 and @.pierregasly?

pierregasly: I was the photographer

georgerussell63: I was trying not to get hit by frying pans.

user90: wtf?

yncosplay

liked by gerogerussell63,francisca.gomez,landonorris and other 489387489

description: We finally did it, we left a little clue in the last post but no one understood. I'm very happy to introduce you to Flynn Rider and Rapunzel.

user944: the cosplay we didn't know we wanted.

user32: I want a relationship like theirs.

user1: they really seem so happy

landonorris: hey, that doesn't count, you didn't do his makeup.

georgerussell63: I would never have complained as much as you

francisca.gomez: You are beautiful next time let's play Disney princesses

yncosplay_:You are already my Disney princess.

francisca.gomez: i love u

pierregasly: oh no I don't want to be a photographer again, please

charlesleclerc: Thank you, now even Alex wants to do it

lewishamilton: Ok now I want George Russell dressed as Ken

yncosplay_: omg yes pleas

georgerussell63: thank you Lewis now I'm sentenced for life.

[sunnyy3d]

Hi again

Ok so I am currently obsessed with Matt smith and Alex Kingston so I wanted to know if you would write a 11th/river/reader fanfic where the reader is a companion that just started travelling with them but for some reason she is immortal and always finds them but she doesn’t totally understand how the meeting keeps happening between them all so she just jumped from a new tune where she was happily married to the doctor and river but now she meets river/melody who doesn’t know her yet and she gets jealous bc she over heard them talking about another girl(her just younger) and it leads to the doctor having to explain to her that they aren’t at that time yet and river gifts her a journal so she can write down where and how they keep meeting hopefully this makes enough sense and you would want to write it I just want some fluff/cuteness along with confusion on time travel

Timeless Love| 11th Doctor x River x Reader

A/N: Requests open! (Obviously)

God, I'm so nauseous. Will I ever get used to that? I really wish that I had my own TARDIS; it'd be so much better than a vortex manipulator. The Doctor calls it "cheap and nasty time travel," and he's not wrong. Of course, I'll never let him know that, though.

I let the dizziness subside before opening my eyes. I'm facing a wall? I've gotta go through the checklist. Okay, first is smell. It smells... old? Like antiques and dust. Why is smell first anyway? The second is hearing. I hear sirens, which leads to the next part: sight. To go with the sirens, I see a red flashing light coming from a bulb farther up the wall. That's always a good sign! Last but not least, the 360. Well, it's more like a 180, but that's beside the point. I spin only to find a gun pointed at my head. My smile immediately drops, the excitement of being in a new environment being replaced with dread. What have I gotten myself into this time?

"Oi, don't touch the fez! Wait, no, don't take it," I hear from behind the brute holding the gun.

"Don't listen to him. Please take the fez," I'd recognize those voices from anywhere. Especially the sarcasm... It only makes sense that they're around when I find myself in trouble. I can't let myself get distracted; this is a life-or-death situation. Just do what The Doctor taught you. Be rational and observe.

Peering past the gun, I see a creature I've never seen before in my time with The Doctor. This thing is enormous, at least a foot or two taller than me. They (it?) have on a suit of armor--similar to what would be found back on Earth-- that obscures its face. Maybe it's a security guard? It would make sense, considering that behind it are glass cases that hold artifacts.

Regardless, this creature's sheer size means I can't fight it. At least not successfully. That throws all of the self-defense skills River taught me out of the window. I really wish she was here. Oh wait... she is. I'll just have to play the innocent card. It shouldn't be hard, considering that I am innocent. I put my hands up beside my head as a sign of surrender, careful to go at a speed that's not threatening. "I just got here, I swear. I have no idea what's going on," I reason. I have a feeling that it's not gonna work well.

"Oh, look who it is! Where have you been?" Looking past the guard, I spot The Doctor and River being led in by another guard.

I sigh, "It's not what it looks like."

"It's exactly what it looks like!" The Doctor interrupts with his stupid smile.

"Honey, can you shut please? I kinda have a gun in my face right now," I plead.

"Oh right..."

"Excuse me, sir?" River distracts the guard in front of me.

"We're going to have to ask you to put that gun down. Darling, you might want to duck." Without even thinking, I follow her instructions. I trust River and The Doctor with my life. What kind of wife would I be otherwise? Being stuck between the wall and the fight, I have no choice but to crawl away.

I'm hiding behind one of the cases when The Doctor comes around the corner, disheveled and panting. It's a good look at him. His hair is messy before he runs a hand through it and flashes his signature smile. God, I could kiss him. But now's not the time. We're in the middle of a fight. I say we, but I really mean River. "What are you doing?" I yell.

"I could ask you the same thing!" Loud shots hit the walls around us. I peek around the corner and see two more guards have shown up as reinforcement.

A bullet flies past my head, and I quickly take my retreat behind the case. "Look! We'll have to save this conversation for after we get out of whatever situation you got us into this time. River needs help." The Doctor gives me an offended look.

"River does NOT need help, no thanks to you guys," she says sarcastically.

The Doctor and I come out from behind the case. "What are you guys even doing here?" I ask with my hands on my hips.

"Uhh... we're picking something up," The Doctor answers nervously. I nod, my lips drawing into a thin line as I give him a skeptical hum. It's probably not worth questioning, and I probably won't get a straight answer.

"And you are?" River questions, looking me up and down. Even after being with her for a while, I still get butterflies when she looks at me like that.

But the butterflies are scooped up by my confusion. "What do you mean, River? We've been-"

"SPOILERS," The Doctor interjects. "If you'll just give us a moment, please?" I nod as he drags River away. They huddle together with their backs facing me. Clearly, I'm not supposed to hear this conversation, but it doesn't stop me from trying. Unfortunately, they're just out of earshot, so I can only hear a few words.

Focusing on their conversation, I piece together some parts. "She's... beautiful... amazing... younger... she's like..." The Doctor explains with expressive hands. Occasionally, River glances back at me with a smile.

Who are they talking about like that? It has to be someone special. Why else would they keep it a secret from me? More importantly, why is River saying she doesn't know me? Has she had her memory wiped? Clearly, The Doctor knows who I am, but he's also acting weird. What has happened to our marriage? Did all of the intimate moments that we shared go down the drain? All the adventures forgotten?

I'm so lost in thought that it takes me a second to realize that they've finished their conversation and have started walking back towards me. I quickly stand straight, suddenly incredibly self conscious. I cross my arms and frown, "So, who's this mystery woman and why did you have to talk about her in secret?" I know my words reek of jealousy, but I can't help it. We've been married for so long, and yet here they are talking about some other woman.

The Doctor sighs, thinking about how he should respond. "We were talking about you. I know it might not make too much sense right now, but River and I aren't in the same timeline as you."

"This is actually my first time meeting you, I'm afraid. Though I'm sure it won't be the last," River looks me up and down with a smirk. I blush and look away. Even if this is her first time meeting me, she still has to flirt.

Everything is starting to make sense now. All of the times when The Doctor or River thought that they had done something with me but hadn't. Or when they'd forget simple things. It's not that they forgot; it just hadn't happened to them yet. Why didn't I think of this before? And why hadn't they explained this to me earlier? Why does time have to be so complicated?

"This happens all of the time with me and River. It's honestly quite annoying to figure out," The Doctor chuckles.

"You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. Things are starting to come together now. That explains why you guys are so confusing sometimes. Sorry, extra confusing sometimes." The couple laughs before River holds up her finger, saying hold on and grabbing her bag off her back. She rummages through it momentarily before letting out a small 'aha.' I look at The Doctor with my eyebrows scrunched in confusion. He only shrugs. River pulls out what she was looking for. I see a look of recognition flash across The Doctor's face before I can tell what it is.

"Here," she holds out a book. It's a royal blue and has squares on it like the TARDIS. It looks naturally worn, its deckled pages ready to hold a story. "I have a smiliar journal. I use it to keep track of my encounters with this idiot. Maybe you can do the same?" She suggests with a warm smile.

From this distance, I can see how young she is. Though she doesn't look much different, her eyes tell a different story. They have more youth to them, more innocence. Let's be honest: River has never truly been innocent. But she is more innocent than the River that I know best. I smile as I take the journal in my hands. It's perfect. It'll be easy to carry around, and it is absolutely gorgeous.

So much has yet to come for The Doctor and River, both terrible and happy. And even though I have lived through things that they haven't, they have lived through things that I haven't. This book will hold stories that cannot be shared with the ones I love the most. If I were to share it, it could ruin everyone's timeline. Time is a delicate balance of... wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey... stuff. Okay, I'll admit that wasn't the most eloquent I have been, but it'll have to do.

With a smile, I look up at my husband and wife (well, future for them), "Thank you. I have a feeling that I'll be using this a lot."

[thr4shit]

It's headcanon time, once again, bitches!!!

Hehehehe- Marble Hornets headcanon time...

(I'm gonna start off with Alex. I might make more eventually, but my brain is primarily focused on Alex at the moment. *I may or may not be projecting, but... eh... idc right now. However, I do apologize if any of this goes against CONFIRMED CANON, as I do not know all of the canon lore, I'm still learning and I'm shit at retaining right now.*)

[headcanon list below the cut]

Alex Kralie Headcanon Stuff

He has ADHD and IED (Intermittent Explosive Disorder)

He feels really shitty after having an outburst, but doesn't really know how to properly apologize, so he just doesn't.

(whenever he used to apologize in the past, people wouldn't forgive him, and would call him a jerk, etc. so he eventually just stopped apologizing because he didn't see the point anymore.)

He has an oral fixation

(Primarily chews on pens, bites his fingernails, and bites the inside of his mouth. But he also has a keychain with all the stuff he needs, *his keys, little decorations, etc...* but also chew rings or other chewing fidgets so he can keep his fixation satisfied.)

Building on the idea of chewing on pens, he has a bag full of absolutely RUINED pens that still can write *but are chewed to all hell* because he goes through them very quickly while brainstorming.

Tim and the others *mostly Tim because Tim's the one who notices it* continuously try to stop him from chewing on the pens, but it's so habitual to him that he just doesn't.

Chews on ice and straws a lot, too.

He tried smoking once or twice but hated the smell and taste of the cigarettes. Although he still occasionally tries again, and NEVER comes around on it.

Bigender or Genderfluid ass bitch

Don't get me wrong, I also love the transfem Alex hc, but I personally lean more towards bigender or genderfluid for him.

Likes most if not all pronouns but decides not to say he uses all pronouns, instead saying that he uses he/she/they

(I'm only going to use he/him in this post because I'm tired and I also don't want to alternate at the moment because I know I'll confuse myself because of how my head is right now.)

Gender coded bracelets

Like... different colors/patterns to signal to people how he's feeling on that particular day. Preferred pronouns or even names

(bounces between/uses both Alex and Lexie)

So, so incredibly dysfunctionally Pan and Nebula

Constantly has the issue of "why are so many people attractive-" and "am I attracted to this person or are we friends?! What the fuck is the difference-"

REALLY loved Blair Witch Project when it came out. (When he was 13.)

Sparked his interest for making something with a similar genre, as he found it to be incredibly creative to film in such a way that made it seem "real"

Has a lot of interest in kids shows, but doesn't talk about them to most people.

I'm talking MLP, Sanrio/Hello Kitty/Cinnamaroll stuff, Invader Zim, etc.

He has a perfectionistic side

(I know that's basically canon already, but I have a thought as to why) He gets extremely perfectionistic with his projects because his parents didn't think he could pull off his filmmaking "dream," so, to prove them wrong; he wanted to make the BEST movie there was.

Caffeine makes him EXTREMELY tired, but he still drinks it to try to wake himself up.

He makes kandi bracelets for himself, and had some partially made for the cast of Marble Hornets, but never got around to finishing them.

Tim might've found them post Alex's canon death... and his and Alex's bracelets were matching. (waow- implied Timlex angst-coded stuffs O0O)

He is COMPLETELY time blind.

He has so many alarms and reminders set EVERYWHERE that it drives most people mad.

Constantly needs to be fidgeting with or biting/chewing on something, so he has an abundance of fidget toys on him at all times.

Spinning rings, chew necklaces, pop-its, wacky tracks, small stuffed animals/squishy animals, etc.

Extremely sensitive to smell

Viscerally hates when people wear cologne or perfume around him. Because of this, he also doesn't like most pets because of the smells they make.

(For dogs, when they heat up and it activates the oils in their fur, for cats, the ammonia smell, etc.)

He can only tolerate having a pet fish, which he finds boring because he can't pet or hold it.

He has SO MANY random facts stored in his brain, and he will randomly spew them to people

The more facts he shares, the more he cares about someone. It's sort of a love language to him.

No spice tolerance, but super high bitterness and sour tolerance

aka, starts crying after barely licking a pepper, but can eat 100% dark chocolate with a straight face and like it.

He does little watch parties of movies that inspired him whenever he needs to get out of a rut or writing block.

It normally doesn't help him get out of the block, but it helps distract him from looming feelings of failure.

There are several minutes of footage in the Marble Hornets tapes that are just Alex getting footage of Tim's moobs because he started spacing out and staring at them.

He's too embarrassed to do anything with the footage and doesn't know the correct course of action. (That, and he honestly forgets he has the footage.)

Would 100% live permanently in autumn if he could.

Absolutely feral for Halloween.

[6ofwandz]

The Codependent's Pain Part 5

At this point I am furious. I have been through the wringer and back with him all year long and this is how he chooses to treat me when he knows that the holidays are so hard for me? We didn't live far from the bar so I decided I would get all cute and dressed up, put on my jacket and brave the cold to go get drunk with my friends. As I am getting ready to leave I am dancing in the shower to some good music, I cry my tears, I put on a brave face, and I walk out the door determined to enjoy myself despite the pain of the evening already. On my way to the party I swing by the liquor store myself to get a head start and keep myself warm on the two mile trek. When I arrive he isn't there yet, but I summon a friend of mine who lives across the street and tell him he should come out and see me. It is then that I admit, for the first time to someone I know in real life, that I think it is time Alex and I split up and how awful that night had been for me. It was a very difficult moment of honesty and bravery since I knew I would have to worry about who was going to choose to side with me and who was going to choose to side with him in the future breakup.

Anyway, a few hours goes by. I have had a few drinks, I'm feeling great, me and my bestie are chatting it up smoking outside together, laughing and giggling and by now I have kind of forgotten about what happened earlier or at least had the chance to put the stress of the evening in the back of my mind and away from the present moment. It is now the time of the night where my friend and I go inside and start taking shots and right as I am about to take my first shot of the night who comes up behind me but the man I was actively trying to avoid thinking about but instead of coming up to me and apologizing his hand immediately grabs my ass cheek and says some flirty little apology, clearly drunk, already starting off the evening on a rough note.

Now this is the part of the story that makes me feel ashamed. Despite how angry I am at the audacity that he has coming up behind me and promptly getting sexually aggressive with me, I am feeling a little bit lonely and neglected so I go along with it. I am drunk and the attention feels good after being ignored for so long and I just don't even feel in control of myself at this point, this is pure traumatized me bubbling up to the surface, begging to be seen so I play along with his little game to see if there's any chance I might feel any amount of love from him that night.

I don't remember how we got home, but what I do remember clearly is being extremely inebriated in bed with him. I remember the sex getting intense and me crying and sobbing and begging him to love me with tears pouring down my face while he didn't stop. He claims that he asked me if I was okay during the act and I said it was fine and to keep going but he should have known that I was too drunk to consent for him to continue, especially when I had never cried like that during sex and something was clearly wrong. The entire act that night was a selfish one on his behalf--the storming out of the house to go to the bar, the showing up to claim me physically even though I had been neglected for so long it was painful, the taking me home to fuck me senseless while I bawled my eyes out in agony for the way he had been treating me for too long and all he could do the next day was tell me how much I clearly wanted it because I didn't stop him.

I think that's almost what is more painful about this moment than the other one. The first time I was absolutely cognizant of what was happening and was desperately trying to get the situation to stop and this time, this time he let things continue because he knew he could take advantage of my drunken state to get what he wanted despite doing none of the work emotionally to love me the way I needed to be loved.

What a painful painful experience

[alexturne]

8, 12 and 49 for the ask game!! and 50 :3

Thank yoooouuu 😘 I'm stealing your very brilliant idea of screenshotting the questions!

Oh, great question! I actually used to be very inspired by AM songs and lyrics when I first started writing. Having a lyric pop out to me and spark a whole story in my head or a simple line becoming the title of a fic I simply had to write. Hence why all my fics have lyrics as their titles 😎

To answer the question! Temptation Greets You Like Your Naughty Friend! I've got a very tiny wip called "keep your charm where i can't see it (and your hands where i can)" because I just LOOOOOVE that line. And it sparks so much tension and temptation and I had the idea of a spin the bottle/get drunk at a house party/accidentally make out with your friend and BOOM find out you feel very differently than you thought about said friend. The whole trying to resist the temptation because it just feels so good but you don't want to ruin the friendship... That kinda thing. Who knows if it will ever see the light of day 😘

Hmm, I don't know if there are any tropes really to speak of that I didn't like.. But I've gotten a lot better at reading scary/horror themed stories. We have so many incredibly talented writers in this fandom who write the most amazing scary stories and I simply had to learn ��� Even if they still scare me sometimes! I don't really think I'll ever be able to write any myself tho. The closest I've managed is a very brief wip inspired by What We Do In The Shadows, and let's be real, that's really not scary at all 😂

Ooohh. My current wip is... Well, it's really my white whale. The one that keeps me up at night. It's the first milex fic I ever came up with, the thing that really started it all. And it's just. My baby. I love it so much and I've literally been trying to write it for TWO YEARS and it's just the most difficult thing I've ever tried to write. I'm at about 70k at this point and every word is a struggle but I want it done. I don't know if the two years of effort will be evident in the final work so don't have too high expectations please, but it's just so very important and special to me.

It will be called "you've got control of everyone's eyes (including mine)". And here is a small snippet:

Miles just looked at him, as if expecting Alex to say something. But if Miles thought his mere presence alone was enough to rattle Alex, to throw him off his game, he thought wrong! If he thought he could come here and ruffle Alex's feathers and get him all worked up he was sorely mistaken. Alex didn't care! Not one bit. He was cool. Miles had no effect on him whatsoever. Not tonight, that was for sure, if that's what he thought. Alex was calm and collected and all that.

Aaahhhh you made me choose one too 😂🥰

I'll take this cheeky opportunity to talk about question 17, an au I would like to read/write even if no one else will appreciate it..

Because that's the second long wip I've got going at the moment.

I'm writing a high school rivals fic, complete with americanized stereotypes, the hot jock, the mysterious punk badboy, the obnoxious gossipy cheerleaders.. and of course it's just chuckful of cheesy 90/00s romcom teen moments. Something along the lines of movies like 10 things I hate about you, bring it on, good old stuff. I adore it so far and I really hope I'll one day be able to finish it as well! 💅✨

Thank you so much for the lovely questions!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[marvelling-at-marvel-blog]

After the longest day when everyone kept asking for a favour right that changed my plans (for real no one ask me to watch any toddlers anytime soon.), I finally got to watch Red, White, and Royal Blue a solid 10 hours after I planned.

I loved it so much, guys, but I also felt disappointed a little. I think it was just a little to rushed. I understand why, it is a movie and you only have a certain amount of time to tell the story (also why i understood characters like June where cut, because she is awseome but in the sense of the movie she and Nora served the same purpose) but I loved the journey to love we went through with Alex in the book and the exploration of thier relationship and I felt like the elements of it was there but I wanted more. More time to see that grow.

I also HATE when movies or tv shows advertise scenes that are not in the movie. Why put the kitchen scene out there in the trailer only to cut it. I found myself wondering if I had day dreamed off and somehow missed it. I mean, if you need to cut, then fine, but don't put it in the goddamn trailer if ya ain't gonna use it.

Where this movie shined was with Alex and Henry. Hats off to those two. Thier chemistry was great. Nick did an amazing job portraying Henry and all his vulnerabilities and struggles. I always felt so much for Henry and I feel like Nick understood him. That man can tell a story with his face.

And Taylor blew me away. Because heres the thing. I think Alex is a hard role to play. His loud, confident, funny and sometimes cocky and really loveable. But play that wrong, and he could have come of cocky and annoying, especially at the beggining but that was not an issue. In the book, we get to hear his thoughts and understand him. In the movie, it all comes down to Taylor, and he does an amazing job.

I loved the V&A scene so much and as much? It's where you can really feel the love between them and as I would have loved your song, I think I can't help falling in love with you, was a beautiful choice.

The dock scene for me was the perfection of the movie. Alex, dreaming of their future together and the quiet devastation of Henry as he realises was actually amazing. In the book this always got to me as it was the moment to me Henry realised to Alex this all had a end date. The hiding, the need to keep it all a secret. After the election was done, most of the danger of being exposed was over for Alex. Presidents can only serve 2 terms so elections wouldn't be a thing again, he was already out to everyone who mattered most to him. For him next year was freemdom when for Henry, he was born into royalty and that necer ended or went away, this was Henry thinking in his head that he could never give Alex that happiness and freedom and he was heartbroken.

Also.

-Both Amy and Zahra where amazing. Nailed it.

-Feel like we needed more Shaan, Bea and Pez

- the sex scence was beautiful, but I am low key obsessed with the tack room scene. When Alex lifts Henry in his polo uniform on to the tbale is perfection.

- I feel like the friendship to lovers part was the most rushed. I would have loved to see another 5 to 10 minutes dedicated to that as I think it would have enhanced the beginning of the romance.

- I now they had limited time but I really wosh they had talked more about how mich Henry losing his dad defined him and shaped him.

- I wanted more pet names 😢 happy we got some but still.

- More David was needed. Enough said.

- I found the line 'I was four when I realised the whole of England knew my name, and I would never know theirs' really poignant. Could you imagine how watched you would feel all and the expectations you would be aware of all the time growing up like that.

- At the end of the day it wasn't perfect and it was missing some things that I think where important but this was an amazing movie that I would reccomend to anyone.

[imagines-babes]

Revenge (c!KarlJacobs)

Happy late new year!! How is everyone sorry for not putting up a story please forgive me. Anyways today's story is about c! Karl and how he wants your love. Only because you are married to Sapnap and Quackity heir(I think that is the wrong word or not) the song is 'Revenge' by XXXTENTACIO. I hope you enjoy it.

Karl Jacob List Masterlist

Warning: death, kidnapping, and a sleeping pill

************

Why do I go back to her? She doesn't even acknowledge me so why do I go? Why do I leave my partners to go see them? Why do I time-travel to an era she lives in? I'm in a better place without them. I have Sapnap and Quackity. But I need her. I want her to love me like she loves any other man. I need it.  In this whole process im losing myself. I feel like each time I travel something else is happening to me. But I'm every timeline I find myself back to her. Back to my Y/n.

I closed my book. Looking out the window to see her walking and giving out flowers. It's a typical thing for him to do honestly that's why I like her so much. Her caring side in this timeline. Then he saw him. Not only him but the others as well. The man she is married to. One is from descendants from Helga(The village that went Mad) and the other is a descendant from James(the Masquerade). They were both of his fiancés but they were with him. They were with y/n. Why couldn't she look at me the way she looked at them? I want that! I would do anything for that! I shouted in my head hitting a wood.

Hearing a thump y/n glanced over at me giving a nod. Kissing both versions of Sapnap and Quackity that I didn't recall their names from this era. I wanted to but I didn't want to hate them. I wanted to be happy for all three of them but somehow I couldn't. Y/n rushed over to the thud only to see Karl curled up crying. "What's the wrong karl?" She went close to him rubbing his shoulder to me only placing my head on their thigh. Y/n just sat down next to me and stayed quiet. Y/n didn't talk till I was crying," "wanna talk about it?"  How can she be so sweet to me? Yet not see that I am in love with her. She started to stroke my hair softly. My hands went to hers to hold them. Her breath stopped. Sitting up next to her. "How do you stop being in love with someone who you can't have?" There was silence between the two while she stared at her partners as for Karl to just stare at her.

"You know he likes her." Quackity heir said while talking to Sapnap. They both look at the two with Karl staring at y/n. "Well I don't think y/n likes him at all," they both glassed back over to y/n with a smile, "she only likes him as a friend come on Alex." They both walked off to their house.

I invited y/n back to my house just for dinner. She said she wouldn't mind being over or her partners. She just needed to head home to clean up and meet me at my house. I know what I'm gonna do tonight isn't gonna be good but....

Closing my book. Hearing the front door knock I open it seeing y/n in a red dress it looked nice on her. "Hey, Karl may I come in?" I nod opening it wider for her and then locking it after she comes in. She made her way to the kitchen waiting for me. I handed her a wine glass with red wine and she accepted. I turned my back to her as I took a small sip then a glass fell.

The night was quiet and she was still asleep with her hands in cuffs holding them up to a hook. All I did was stare at her. Admire her beauty up close again. Hearing the groan she started to wake up slowly. "Morning y/n" she stares at me trying to move her arms but not making much progress she glances at her cuffs. "Karl why am I cuffed please get me off this," she struggles more with the worry on her face some tears start to fall. I quickly stand up placing my hand to touch her face. She quickly jerks away. "I am the only one keeping you alive y/n," I got her jaw facing her face to me. I wipe her tears slowly. "Don't worry I won't kill you. y/n I will never kill you. I love you too much to kill you." I moved my hands away from her with her eyes red. "Please karl I need to go back to Alex and-" I grabbed the wretch and hit the brick from the wall. She had to bring them up. "No you are staying here with me okay," I brought the wrench closer to her, "they don't love you. I love you and you will love me right?" She just nods her head. "There see," I placed the wrench to the floor, "now I will let the cuffs off."

For y/n, this was her chance to make a run from him. This wasn't the Karl she knew. Hopefully, she will find her Alex and Roger.

Pulling the hook down and the key in my pocket. Turning it to let one go then shortly the other. I held her hand as we made it up to a different area. "This is my other home." She looked around letting go of her hand. She smiled slowly. Within a second she ran to the door. This couldn't be happening. I grab a knife running after her. The trees and bushes were hitting them both. The Second she got off me I made it close to her. To only see her falling. Standing over her. I got on top of her to only stab her. 3 times

There he placed her against the tree. He sat beside her with the knife in his hand. he cried wanting to love a woman that wouldn't love him back with her blood on his hand.

[invisiblegarters]

(Not so) Micro BL (mostly) Reviews

It's that time again; I've been watching things and I want to talk about them. So here I go.

These are all shows that I watched but for whatever reason did not (or am not, in the case of the currently watching ones) liveblogging week to week. Mostly they're binge watches so make of that what you will. I would love and welcome discussions about any of them, if anyone wants.

Watched - New to Me

Tonhon Chonlatee - Did I watch this entirely for Khaotung? Yep. Am I sorry? Not really. Did I wind up shipping Na and Chonlatee way way harder than Tonhon and Chonlatee in spite of myself? Oh, most def. So when are Neo and Khao gonna get a BL, huh?

I am glad the horrible former faen trope is slowly dying out, though. Really couldn't stand Amp, but then again I was way more offended by the attempted SA followed by literally nothing (and by the fact that Amp was somehow worse than the person actually trying to SA Chonlatee, like no. NO nononono). Also incredibly incredibly annoyed with the whole "I will kiss you to prove I'm a man who isn't afraid of women" thing. Nope, sorry. It was dumb, I'm calling it out as dumb, Ton is just lucky Chon loved him too much to keep staying mad at him because that's a dumping offense, my friend.

I liked Chon's spine, though. Khao is so tiny and fox faced that it would be very easy to play into that and have Chon be this sweet, spineless little thing that can't stand up for himself and that  Ton has to protect constantly. And in some ways he does, although I think the show does a really good job of showing that Chon is more than capable of taking care of himself. I liked that.

Honestly I just feel like the writing failed both Pod and Khao. They did what they could with what they had, but Pod especially could have had so much more. There was so much meat there that they just…didn't let the man chew, and I saw nothing that made me think that he couldn't.

The chemistry between them was good though, even if I am one of the (few? Idk I have no idea how people see this show) people who liked Na for Chon better. Na was actually my favorite character, and in the end I'm pretty sure I was only watching for him. Final verdict 5/10. I would probably have forgotten about it already except I keep coming across that set of gifs. You know the one. A+ gifs, 10/10 no notes.

The Warp Effect - This was my second drama ever from Jojo, and I loved it so much. I enjoyed all the characters, especially Jean and Mollie, and I loved the relationships and the way that Alex had to navigate his new (to him) adult life as an asshole after (essentially) passing out as a fairly earnest, well-meaning seventeen year old. I adored the things the show had to say about sexuality, about gender, about the way people who don't conform to expectations (in whatever way that is) are treated.

I loved how it continuously pointed out the hypocrisy towards women in particular (there are several examples of this, but I am thinking particularly of how Jean was treated after the party vs. how Alex was. I love that the show made a point of explicitly stating how messed up the disparate reactions were, and how unfair. I also liked that despite following Alex as he goes on this journey, the show never attempted to pretend that he was the wronged party in that situation. Neither did Alex himself, which was refreshing). I'm not used to that from my shows, full stop.

I loved how queer friendly it was. I have read over and over again that it is one of the queerest shows people have seen, despite focusing mostly on a het dude. And you know what? They were right.

I spent eleven episodes loving this show with everything that I am, so enthralled with it that I did nothing else but binge it over the course of like a day and a half (if it hadn't been a work night I probably would have stayed up just to finish it, that's how hooked I was). And then…the final episode. I have to say that it disappointed me.

I am one who puts a lot of stock in an ending. A great ending can elevate a drama for me, a bad one can kill it stone dead. The Warp Effect didn't kill things, but it disappointed me. It felt like the show was saying something really interesting about forgiveness using Alex and Jean, about how sometimes you do things in your life that can't be forgiven. That sometimes things happen and the best you can do for the person you wronged is to step the fuck back like she's asked you to and let her try to forget.

But nope, Alex gets to go back in time and wisely fix all his friends problems and never have that awful encounter with Jean. And everything ends in a pat, happy way that kind of set my teeth on edge. If not for the fact that Jean (my darling) didn't deserve what happened to her I might have disliked it more, but the truth is that she didn't deserve it, and I'm happy for the unambiguously happy ending for that and that alone. No clue how prevalent this opinion is but knowing how my opinions tend do go I'm guessing not very, ha. Final score 8/10 - yes I docked it two points for the ending, I said they can make or break things for me.

Step By Step - I will watch any and every office BL that I am given. Do you hear me? Any. And. Every. Except A Boos and A Babe, oops (does it count if I tried because it was an office set BL and then just bounced off hard? I'm counting it).

Anyway, tangent. The point I'm making here is that I was never going to not give this a shot. And I am glad I did. It wasn't my favorite thing but I was happy to see it actually tackle the realities of what it look s like when you're dating your boss. The way that all the crap rolled onto Pat was very true to life, if painful to watch, and I appreciated the show for going there.

I was also kind of unimpressed with the time skip BUT that's only because it happened in the dreaded episode eleven and I would have liked more time with the 2 years later Jeng and Pat. Ah well, it was still cute. 7/10

Enchant�� - Watched this because I was curious about Force & Book after I bounced off of A Boss and A Babe (and since they are in one of my most anticipated dramas of the year, possibly as the main main couple but definitely as one of them). I was curious if I would bounce off of them here as well, because if so that probably wouldn't bode well for the future.

And? I liked it. I liked the bickery romantic tension between them (I blame my misspent youth and all those slap slap kiss shows from when I was a wee, impressionable thing too long ago to want to talk about). I was highly annoyed at the beginning when it seemed like eight hundred different men wanted to date Theo (as well as incredibly baffled why Theo was so damned into this dude who wrote two whole sentences in a book with him. But I have no romance in my soul so I was willing to let that part go) because I start to get twitchy at two, let alone literally every guy he talks to. But once that mystery started unraveling and we started learning what was going on with all these dudes, I liked it a lot more. And I don't know if Be My Favorite has made me appreciate Gawin more (yes, definitely) or if I was just way too hard on him in Not Me (maybe, idk I still think he was kind of drippy), but I really enjoyed him in this one, too. Yes, even with the singing. Gawin for me is a rarity because frankly, he can actually carry a tune. I will never understand what's with making all these BL boys sing and dance. Sometimes you just aren't a triple threat, and that's okay.

Anyway remember my endings problem? Yeah, didn’t love this one. I mean, fine, chase your love interest all the way to fair Paris because he's having a crisis about his parents (and honestly, that part I really liked? I liked how selfish he was about it. Idk it just worked for me), I would have let him run off and found someone else but as I said I have no romance in my soul. 7.5/10

Naked Dining / Zenra Meshi / 全ラ飯 - Cute, but. I found myself really really annoyed by all the misunderstandings. This never happens to me, I love a good misunderstanding or three, but my gosh there just comes a point when you need to stop making assumptions and talk, my guys. Food porn was good, though. 6/10

Hello Stranger - Baby's first Pinoy BL! So I guess this is in the same vein as Gameboys, but I did not see that one, and I found this charming. The leads were adorable, and I do have a fondness for shows told almost completely via skype. Look, I still haven't seen enough of them for the novelty to have worn off. The mix of Tagalog and English was a little hard to adjust to at first but after a couple eps I got there. It was just a cute, breezy little thing that was easily digestible and I'm happy I watched it, although to be frank I probably won't put it into my rotation. 8/10

Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Soul -

While I really enjoyed most of it, I feel like it fell apart for me at the end and I'm having a hard time articulating why.

I think it might be the reincarnation bit. While I get what the show was going for there, what are we saying, exactly? Is Tua gonna wait now until Prakan is of age before showing up to be his boyfriend again? Are they gonna go back to phi and nong until then? Or is Tua gonna watch Prakan like he's straight out of a Police song without speaking to him for the next 5/6 years? My problem isn't even really with the idea that Tua and Prakan will continue to meet in all of Prakan's lifetimes until perhaps Tua's time as a reaper is over and they can be reborn in the same timeline again and maybe be together for real. I think it's the idea of them both waiting around for Prakan's minor clock to expire that's doing it. I feel like Goblin did this trope better. Personally I loved Tua and Prakan being together until he passed, and for me, I think that the show would have been stronger overall if they had left it at that and not done the end bit with the new Prakan.

That said, the child actor who played young!Prakan was stellar and I hope that he has been getting steady work. I have to say that in a lot of the Thai dramas I've watched, the child actors have been standouts.

Other than that, I did really enjoy the drama. It was interesting and I liked seeing Yacht play a character that wasn't super Pond-esque for once. I did feel watching Between Us that he could do better, if given the material (not his fault, Between Us had too many side couples, both he and his partner did what they could with what they had), and I'm happy to see I was right. Metha actually became one of my favorite characters - he had a whole arc from conflicted asshole to loosening up and remembering that he actually loved his friends/realizing his uncle had manipulated him into hating Prakan for his own personal gain, and Yacht did a really good job with playing both the asshole and the decent dude beneath.

I saw a lot of comments complaining about Prakan's inability to be mature regarding Tua's job, but I think that for the most part it was actually fairly believable a reaction, especially after his mom died. And it would be hard for me to deal with the idea that death can be around any corner no matter how hard I try to prevent it, let alone someone for whom that is their entire job.

I was annoyed, however, by the weird ep 11 (I think, might have been 10) "Nuch could die" plot, simply because it was so late in the game, took up so little time, and seemed like a plot device just to get Metha to finally tell her he loved her. Annoying and pointless. Wasn't needed - he could have done it a million other ways.

Enjoyed the couple of Kheeta and Nathee as well - Nathee was another one that did a 180 as the show progressed, but unfortunately I believed his less than I did Metha's, mostly because I just don't think the actor is as good. He was kind of a weak link in Between Us too, although I think I enjoyed him in Even Sun? I can't remember (and just as I said that I did remember, and no, he wasn't one of my favorites in that either. But the less said about Even Sun the better, really). Still, the whole plot for them is one of my bulletproof tropes. It would take a lot for me not to be into it.

Overall though, I enjoyed it. It kept me extremely engaged and made me cry more than once, and up until the last let's say half episode it really worked for me. 8/10

Rewatched

He's Coming to Me - Seeing everyone talk about this lately made me want to rewatch it, and aw, I forgot how much I loved it. It truly is a gem of a show, and I am glad that a lot of people are talking up how good it is lately. Ohm especially really shines.

What a gem this show is. I really enjoyed the slow burn between Med and Thun, and I liked that it went hand in hand with Thun's realization that he was gay. Really enjoyed how supportive his friends and mom were about it, too. Just a really lovely group of people all around.

Another thing that was fun was the mystery of how Med died. I liked that once Thun decided to help him find out he was all in, willing to help him pretty much no matter what. I honestly don't know if I guessed the mom thing or just remembered it from before but that was a kind of hilarious twist - well mom, I'm in love with your ex who's been a ghost for twenty years. Blessings?

The one thing that knocked this down for me was the whole story with the grandpa/uncle. I think I will never get used to these dramas downplaying things that seem like a pretty big deal to me. Manipulate your student into committing literal crimes and nearly drive him crazy with the pressure of holding up an impossible standard? It's okay, you have trauma too so we understand! Deliberately sabotage your son's happiness so that you can make your marriage scheme become reality? All's well that ends well! Plot and then actually go ahead and murder your own nephew, or at the very least orchestrate events so he could die? We can't change the past, all we can do is hope for a better future! Clearly I take these things too seriously.

Overall though, I really did have a good time. I thought that the chemistry between everyone was excellent, not just the two main characters but the entire cast, and I think the eight episode run time worked in its favor because it kept the show from ever feeling bloated, or like they were trying to find things to do to fill time. And the ending, while bittersweet in its way, is perfect for them. All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable show, and I'm very glad I decided to watch it again.

Currently Watching, Sans Liveblogging

Laws of Attraction - I am LOVING this. I did not expect to from the trailer, but nope. I'm hooked. It's got plenty of time to off the rails I guess, since it just started, but I'm not even sure I will care if it does, so long as our very cute lawyer keeps smiling and flirting (and then trying desperately to gtfo of the room whenever Tinn gets to close the whatever killed his ideals (mom was murdered and then the murderer got off? Drunk driver who got released due to a slick lawyer? It's definitely mom based, and I am very curious). The chemistry between the two leads is very very good, too. I've not seen them in anything else, but I might check out To Sir, With Love because I like them that much. Also Silvy Pavida is in this, and she was one of my favorite things about The Warp Effect. I gave out a little cheer when I saw her, and I hope she's in the show more.

Stay by my Side - Cute, has all the tropes. It's Taiwan so I expect it to be solid. Reminds me a bit of Master's Sun kdrama, but BL. That is not a criticism - I freaking love Master's Sun. Although our ghost repellent isn't aware that's what's happening in this one. I'm enjoying it a lot.

3 Will Be Free - I'm working my way through this, and am way more invested in Mae than the three main characters. Oops? If anything happens to her I will lose it.

The Jungle - MIX VILLAIN ERA GO. If it goes too far in the womanizing direction I will probably drop it, but otherwise I will stick around just to see if I am right and Hunter is the worst of the lot. It has a cast mostly filled with actors I like, and I have to admit I got a kick out of watching Lookjun play a character in love with Off's character again. Also they're giving Nanon the Gun Atthaphan treatment and having him play two people. Whee.

Wedding Plan - It's MAME. Enough said. No telling if at some point I'll have to drop it, but well. MAME. I hope the lesbian couple does more than coo at each other, though. Even if the cooing is indeed very cute.

Looking Forward To

At this point I think we all know, but just in case we don't:

Only Friends

Dangerous Romance

23.5

Only Friends and Dangerous Romance are neck and neck in the race to get a premier date. My ideal would be to have them both released in August so I can have max messiness and angst to finish out my summer.

23.5 is on Q5 so I expect we won't see it for a while, but I'm waiting and very excited. We need more GL and I adored Milk and Love in Bad Buddy - I shipped ink and Pa so hard and watching it become canon was one of the best times I've ever had. I'm also pretty jazzed that it looks like there's a second GL couple as well. Both View and June are actresses I like and I'm just very ready for this.

Also I watched the GMMTV 2023 lineup again and I think Last Twilight is now on my list too. Like I'll watch stuff like Cooking Crush when it comes out but I'm not really jazzed about it, lol. Last Twilight however has moved into my "I think I'm excited for this one" list. 

If you made it this far, congratulations. I'd offer you a prize, but I have none. So instead, here. Have a dancing Chonlatee.

[wetnoodle]

So I’ve been listening to music. And there are certain songs I listen to and I can just imagine jaskier singing them in taverns as more heartbreak songs. So I thought I’d write down which ones and why.

The night we met - lord Huron

“I've been searching for a trail to follow again. Take me back to the night we met. And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do. And then I can tell myself. Not to ride along with you. I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met. I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you. Oh, take me back to the night we met”.

And I feel like this is him being lost after the mountain. And he’s wishing he could go back to that night in posada and tell himself not to approach Geralt. Tell himself to just leave. And that he thinks maybe his life would be better of that way. And he’s thinking about how he once had all of Geralt and now he’s lost all of that. And he just wants to go back. And I feel like the second “back to the night we met” is less regret and more knowing he’d do it all again. If he did it again he’d get to spend another decade with Geralt again.

Which reminds me of a second song. Again - sasha Alex Sloan

“I gave you everything and now I gotta give you up. And I know it's over But if it's any closure. Even if I knew it would end. Even if I knew we wouldn't walk away friends. I'd still do it again”

And I feel like that’s the same thing. He wants more time with Geralt. And he wants to do it over. Maybe see if he can be better for him. See if he can do it right the next time so he doesn’t get left behind.

“No matter where I’ll go you’ll be a part of me forever”

This is how he’s stuck with Geralt even when they’re no longer together. His career is built around him. His routine his habits. They all involved Geralt. And now that they are apart. Even if he wanted to he couldn’t lose 2 decades worth of friendship

Like you do - Joji

“If you ever go all the songs that we like. Will sound like bittersweet lullabies. Lost in the blue they don’t love me like you do. Those chills that I knew they were nothing without you. And everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose. No one loves me like you do”.

The first part is I feel jaskier worrying about geralt. He’s no longer near him to tend to him after a battle. To stitch him up comfort him. Bring him potions. So what if something happens to him. Jaskier will just have to sing all of Geralts favourite things across the continent.

I feel like the second part is jaskier saying he doesn’t want anyone else. Like the world is cold without geralt. And sure the people love him and his music. But it’s shallow and they don’t know the real him. Something he only showed geralt. And yes they love his music but only one person was his muse. And everyone else don’t matter because there is only one person who he was enough for. Until he wasn’t.

The worst of you - noah Cyrus

“Handed you another chance to disappoint me and again you did me wrong. Am I really waking up alone again. In your bed and you’ve already gone. Coexisting at its finest. Ye were barely even trying anymore. And it feels like all I ever do is pay for Your excuses to buy a little time. I don’t know why I even Entertain it. You’re never going to change hell you’re never going to try. So why am I still trying to prove that I can love the worst of you”.

I think this one’s more of an acceptance and moving on. But the pain still lingers. Like jaskier keeps giving and giving and disappoints every time. That he will never be enough for the man. And they would camp together or share a room and suddenly geralt is gone. Left on a contract or for the path. Who knows. And how he could feel the end coming long before it happened. And how he’s excusing Geralts lack of interest so that he can stay. How he doesn’t mean his shut ups and all of the pushing away. That’s just geralt for you. But it wasn’t. Jaskier just wanted to stay.

And then finally we have

Fair - the amazing devil

I feel like the whole song is from Jaskiers perspective. There no he and she. Only Jaskiers opinions and pining over geralt. I feel like it being like that really shows the heartbreak of it all. Like it was all one sided.

[whennnow]

Thoughts on This Green Dress

December 15, 2022

[Image ID: a photo of Alex wearing a wrinkly green Regency dress with a white neckerchief and pearl necklace.]

I originally sewed this green Regency dress back in 2015 (give or take a year), made from a straight size of Simplicity 4055. I had barely gotten into historical fashion, I wasn't super experienced with sewing, and this was the very first thing I made.

Making it was a bit difficult, but I was proud of what I had made at the time. Even today I can look back and be proud of the work I did with so little knowledge or sewing background.

Today, though, this dress doesn't make me happy. I was a bit happier with it after I re-did it at the height of the pandemic, but even that feeling has worn off.

The neckline and waistlines are all wrong, the sleeves are... weird, and I can't tie the back closures by myself. Plus, the lovely dark green color doesn't fit into my Regency wardrobe, making it hard to wear with the accessories I have.

So what do I do with it?

The historical answers are to either alter it (again) or to pass it on to someone else who will get some use out of it.

I'll be honest, I can't see anyone liking it any more than I do. And to be even more honest, I've put so much work into the dress already and I am very attached to it. So passing it on isn't going to happen.

Altering it is a better, but much more labor-intensive option. The color would be easy to fix (the fabric is cotton, so some dye remover and a new dye bath should do the trick). Everything else will be... less easy. Especially because the skirt isn't as wide as it should be, and I only have a few small scraps of this fabric left.

The third, sadder, and slightly less historical option? Scrap it. The skirt has enough fabric to use for mockups and I can always find a use for the smaller bodice pieces.

Alteration Options

There are two ways I can see myself altering this dress to work better for my wardrobe.

(Quick notes - The skirt is fairly narrow, but I don't know how much I actually have to work with because I haven't measured. The bodice is fully lined so I have two bodices to work with. Both of the following options require complete disassembly of the dress.)

Number 1: Center front drawstring

This idea would have the bodice end up like my white dress, with a partial bodice lining and a center-front drawstring closure at the neck and waist. Or maybe no lining.

I would use both the bodice front and bodice front lining to cut out two new bodice fronts. These new pieces would have a lower neckline, and would extend past the center front in order to allow the drawstrings to gather them up nicely. How much gathering there would be depends on how much fabric I have in the skirt, especially since I want to keep some pleating at the center back.

Two back panels would get sewn up to create a center back piece.

Then the bodice can be reassembled. The skirt would get reattached so that the current center-back opening becomes the center-front opening, and drawstring casings would get put in the neck and waist.

Since the sleeve and redying process would be the same, I'll only write it out once after my second alteration option.

Number 2: Apron-front closure

This idea would take the bodice to an apron-front gown. The bodice lining pieces would be re-cut to a better shape and stay the lining, and a large piece of one of the outer front pieces would become the bib/apron front.

Center back bodice pieces would have to be sewn up again, like in the previous option, and then the bodice could be mostly assembled.

The center back opening of the skirt would have to be sewn up, and two new slits would have to be cut and finished for the apron-front closure. How much overlap I'd have on the sides of that would, again, depend on how much skirt I have left after leaving some to be center-back pleats.

Sleeves and Dye

So the sleeves are probably going to be the most difficult part of this process. I have to come up with a new sleeve pattern that fits my arm well, fits into an existing armscye that is mildly deep-set in the back, and the new pattern has to be able to be cut from my existing sleeves.

So my game plan is to disassemble both sleeves and take a pattern from them onto some mockup fabric. and just... have at it, I guess. Lots of trial and error. No cutting into or reattaching the sleeves until I am completely happy with the results.

Then, finally, I can redye it.

The first step, of course, will be to un-dye it. I already have a box of Rit's Color Remover, but I might need a second box.

Once I know the results of that, I can make my final color decision. Right now I'm favoring either some shade of blue or a dark red, because those would match my color scheme best. However, a grey or brown might also do well because they would coordinate with those colors while bringing in some new colors that I can work into my accessories. And this will probably still be a work dress, so it doesn't have to be a super pretty color.

A simple dye bath or two will get the job done and I would be good to go, with a dress that fits me, fits into my wardrobe, and that I am once again proud of!

Of course, this all hinges on my motivation levels and ability to finish the projects I start, which have been... not great lately.

We'll see. The point of this post was to get all these thoughts out of my head, and it has been successful. So until the next time I have the motivation to sew something -

Stay warm. Stay safe. Stay healthy.

[puppyvonwolfenstein]

February 19, 2023

Many years later, I find myself dwelling back in between my demon, Anxiety and my second demon, Hatred. I logged back into my gem, my secret treasure, the forum I had created and that had become my safe space... My home.

It'll be twenty years old in 2026. That's... Scary. Sad. My poor forum sits, waiting idly for it's two main users to return; my partner long MIA. My internet friend and 'mom' Sky long departed from my forum and life, gone in the wind and left me wondering what ever happened to her?

My first ever role playing partner, Jay, reminding me of how he made this poor socially awkward girl blush in a different forum when he asked if he could romantically pursue my character, Snow. He too, disappeared. I wonder what he's up to? He was such a nice guy. PK, a friend I made... Also disappeared and I've lost contact.

And that leaves you. The person how made all my years growing up, worthwhile despite how cringy I was. You saw something in me, potential maybe? I don't know. The worst part is that you're still there. In my contacts. And I can't reach you.

I once told you my truth, that I had a crush on you because well... Both our ships had set sail. Did that scare you off? I regret that. For someone who has a hard time keeping connections but who makes connections and never lets go... It hurts. So much. But that's a me problem, right? My poor forum though... Sure it's an inanimate object, but to me it's like my precious baby, a little gem that I created and that you helped nurture. If my forum had thoughts, would they mourn your departure too?

I've come to terms with my demons. They exist. They've existed for so long. My severe anxiety, my growing hatred of myself as a being. Always putting everyone before me, because I am worth less. Scared of offending everyone, scared of making the wrong impression, the wrong statement, making misunderstandings. Not being what they expected. Not achieving their expectations.

This severely stopped me from growing. Stopped me making better decisions. Stopped me from denying a man who wasn't up to my standard, and then lowering myself to meet his demands. I kneeled attention and affection. Yielded myself from flying in the sky. Stopped myself from floating like the feather I wanted to be.

I lost myself slowly, entirely to a man who wasn't worth more than three months of my life. I lost my prime days to him. Years of my life, wasted and forgotten now. I literally can't remember my early twenties, besides booze, tears and games.

That's why you're special. Nothing romantic of course, I'm now married to a lovely man who's worthy of me and who helps me cope and grow. Rebuilding the shattered pieces into a new me. No, you mean a lot in the sense that I feel you were my best friend. You, after all, were the one who got me to come to my senses and dump that pitiful excuse of a 'boyfriend' I had.

I return to my gem, my forum and see your absence. It's... Empty. Hollow. Gutted. I read my cringy posts, and scream "Why am I so CRINGE!!!" To myself. I exit. I breathe. Then I go back and read. I see you. I stop. I breathe. I calm down and read. It's a rollercoaster.

It's still a rollercoaster. My life I mean. I was gutted. I had decided to devote my life to money, send money home after moving to Canada, and live out the rest of my days drinking myself into a stupor. Alex had been everything to me. I was unworthy of love, unworthy of humanity I had told myself.

I met a man in college just as my plans had gone into action. He was in the darkness too. We found ourselves in a spark of human connection, where our feelings and thoughts just... Clicked. We understood. He made me an ultimatum, just as I had decided to enjoy the moment while trucking on towards my ending and I paused. What should I do? Get hurt again?

You came to mind. You were gone by now, in my contacts list of people I could message but didn't have the courage to.

I took a chance and in the darkness we became a brighter light, two little embers of fire dwindling and coming together and roaring back to life.

We married and we'll mark our fifth year of marriage this April. Suck on that, Alex. I did find someone better than you.

Even so, it was like you all over again. Me and my husband, all alone, together in our little world. But it's time to expand. I'm scared. I'm learning new things about me.

I have concluded that I have ADHD , and have all along. Go figure. My anxiety and depression have been nailing me since childhood. My anxiety as an adult is disgusting to say the least.

I had my high school reunion recently. It was nice. I reconnected with people who truly still remember me... Fondly? Truly? I didn't think I'd be remembered...

And now, I contemplate my book. My series. I have new ideas now. My beta reader, Ileana... She passed away a few years back. I was gutted. I had no one I wanted to read my works because I'm so self conscious.

I need to do this. Exit my shell. Face my demons head on. Had I done this in the past, I might have been thriving! Still.. I wouldn't change it if it meant I wouldn't meet my dear husband.

As for you... I fear the day I approach you through a message, because I fear you'll reject me and our time, our gem. Fear that you'll toss it aside like a rag.

But I'll do it. I'll make something worth your while since you're a busy man now (always such an important, busy man, you silly devil) and you'll maybe read it and converse with me for a moment before continuing on your life. And that's fine for me. It'll hurt a little, but that's fine. You were once the most important person in my life, so it's fine. I can't ever hate you. My connection with you is for life, even if it's one sided.

Being loyal was never meant to be easy. Being the person that I am, has never been easy. I'll remember special people when they've forgotten me, abandoned me, used me.

I'll remember people who have died, years later, still returning to their graves to speak to them. I'll message someone who can't physically read my messages because they're dead, and it hurts, but it's fine. My loyalty can be one sided, and hurt, but it's fine. I love them all, nonetheless.

And you...

I'll cherish the days I spent with you.

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Honestly Alex wanted this to be a social visit to check up on Mouse to see how she and Steven were doing, but sadly that wasn't the case right now. He was here to talk to Steven again about his harsh methods for capturing another villain. Alex had came back to the city late last night and he heard the reports of how Wordman successfully captured The Butcher after the man committed a bank heist. As Amazo Guy, Alex checked on the Butcher and while he was a bit bruised up, he wasn't too worse for wear. Still the Butcher's trembling face was evident enough that the villain wasn't fine emotionally. Alex knew that Steven would never kill the villains outright but that doesn't stop the man from trying to prevent villainy through intense scare tactics. Alex knew why Steven intensely hated villains now with the exception of his own child, but that was the problem itself. Steven stubbornly believed that all villains were like Squeaky, selfish beings who only cared about themselves and no one else when they did their crimes. Alex had always tried to convince Steven he was wrong and that they shouldn't treat villains lightly but brutality wasn't an answer either. This had always lead to fierce verbal arguments between the two, but Alex had not given up hope that maybe he could help Steven stop being so cold and stubborn and serious, and bring him at least some ways back to the man he fell in loved with years ago.

"Hey Steven." Alex greeted the man with a civil tone in his voice, noting the coldness and annoyance behind the other Man's greetings. Alex then noticed the three other kids in Steven's home, with one of them looking at Alex like he was seeing a ghost. 'He looks a lot like a mix of Steven and myself.' Alex curiously thought. He then looked back at Steven. "So who might these kids be?" Alex asked. Steven walked up to Alex and ended up standing between him and Mouse, either coincidentally or on purpose. The intention was still made, Steven did not like Alex showing up uninvited. "It's a long and complicated story that I think it is best to explain to you in private upstairs." Steven explained before leaning towards the man with an angered and cold expression. "I am also aware of the real reason why you dropped in so let's just get it over with as well." Steven whispered in an annoyed and perturbed tone. Alex frowned but shrugged. "Sure. that's fine." and followed Steven upstairs into the hallway. Before they went to the second floor. Steven turned to his daughter. "Mouse, please keep an eye on the other kids until I finish talking to Alex." Steven said in a gentle but firm parental tone. Mouse nodded at her dad, her face solemn as she noticed her dad's closed emotions again and cold hostility towards Alex. After the two men headed upstairs. Liam turns toward Mouse. "I normally don't care about other people's business, but why does it look like your dad hates that other guy a lot." Mouse frowned angrily at Liam. "Dad doesn't hate Alex." She exclaimed before looking down sadly at her fingers. "They just don't get along like they used too." she said softly. Chase frowned in sympathy as he spoke. "Why not?" he softly asked as he was curious for many reasons but also had some suspicions as to the answers. Mouse looked up at Chase for a bit before bowing her head again as she explained. "Dad and Alex used to date a while back and were really close. They broke up amicably a while back, but now they tend to argue about stuff that dad doesn't want me to hear." Blu looked at her new sister curiously. "Why did they break up?" Mouse flinched at Blu's innocent question but said nothing. Chase and Liam looked at each other with concerned and sad expressions. They both knew why Mouse wasn't being responsive and that the adult's breakup is somehow connected with the accident. "Um Blu, I think we shouldn't ask Mouse for the answer as it seems to bother her." Chase told his sister. Blu nodded in understanding that Mouse didn't want to share the truth despite the young girl not knowing what the truth actually was.

@melodythebunny

Liam tapped his foot impaitently. He was waiting for chase or at least his parents to answer. After standing there for nearly 30 minutes and no response he was getting irradiated. why invite someone over and not answer the door?

His brain thought back to the events that lead him here in the first place. Group assignments from school. The 12 year old had preferred if he had a choice to work on it himself. Especially being paired up with his sometimes but not quite enemy, Chase Boxlietner.

as much as he hated it, the teacher threatened them with a failing grade. Liam didn't care much about getting one D or F on his report card but knowing how dissapointed his dad would be made him reconsider it.

He ranged the doorbell once more knowing that if he knocked on the door he may punch a hole through it.

Liam was taken aback by the sounds of rushing footsteps coming to the door. The door was immediately pulled open to reveal a rather out of breath Chase Boxleitner. "Hey Liam." Chase waved awkwardly. "Sorry I temporarily forgot you were coming over to work on our assignment." The boy said in rushed, but genuinely apologetic voice. Liam was still upset about having to wait outside of his rival's house. "Why was i kept waiting out here for more than 30 minutes?" Liam asked in a stoic yet angry voice. Chase gulped a bit, not wanting to deal with Liam's angry side right now. "My mom had to work late at the veterinary clinic and dad is attending one of Becky's debate competitions right now." Chase began to explain. "So it was my job to keep an eye on Blu until my parents came back. We were playing hide and seek and I was looking for her when I heard you knocking and remembered about the class assignment." Liam rolled his eyes, even though he did not feel Chase's excuse was a good one, the boy understood that Blu Boxleitner can be a handful sometimes and needed to be constantly looked after or something disastrous would happen. So Liam decided to accept Chase's explanation for now. Chase welcomed the other boy inside his house. "You need to finish up your silly game with your sister. We need to start getting this dumb project out of they way so I don't have to spend any longer here in your presence." Liam stated with an annoyed huff. Chase just rolled his eyes at the boy, he was used to Liam's mean comments by now. "Alright, let me just get Blu and tell her the game is over." Chase responded. A giggle from somewhere turned both boys' heads towards the basement door of Chase's house. "Oh great." Chase mumbled with worry. "She snuck into dad's lab again. I just hope she didn't bring that stupid mouse with her." Chase grumbled as he headed towards the basement door, opened it up, and headed downstairs. Liam was a bit puzzled by Chase's remarks. For as long as he noticed, the Boxleitner family seemed to have two pets, a monkey and a mouse called Squeaky. Chase and his sister Becky, as well as their father seemed to have an intense hatred towards the mouse despite still keeping it in their home. Liam knew Chase's father was once a villain so he just asked his own father about the mouse since he used to work with Chase's dad as villains. Amazing Rope Guy wasn't sure of the full story between Steven and Squeaky, he just knew from rumors and here say that the mouse gave Chase's dad and his kids grief back when they were fused together and went by the name Dr. Two Brains. Liam shook his head and came back to reality. He decided to follow Chase to the basement to provide help to the boy for dealing with his sister so they could get this project over and done with. Also Liam naturally assumed that Chase wouldn't be able to handle any real responsibility here without his help.

@melodythebunny

[raceweek]

Alex Albon: Williams driver says ‘you need to be a fighter to be a driver’

BBC SPORT: Andrew Benson

Alex Albon knows what it's like to think he's at the end of the road.

"You're right on that mental edge of panic and worry," he says. "I sat on that worry for so long that you start to not care. You can't panic forever. You can't worry about it forever.

"And I think: 'Well, l've only got to give it my all. I've only got to put everything on the table.'

His story is one of resilience - of numerous knocks through his life from which he has drawn on remarkable reserves of self-belief to bounce back each time.

On his respiratory failure and being dropped from red bull:

"In terms of setbacks, it's a small one really," he says. "I've had very good doctors around me, who were in Italy, to get me back into a good place. I feel very fortunate."

Two years ago, it looked as though Albon's career was coming to an end before it had really got going.

The decision was tough to take.

"I would be lying if I told you I didn't expect it," Albon says. "I felt like I didn't perform that season. I knew there was a strong chance of it happening.

"I had dreamed of being in F1 since I was four years old, almost completely obsessed with it. You inevitably hit this heartbreak where it is like, almost: 'OK, is this the end? And you've only spent two years in it.'

"It's a brutal business - and how quickly everything came about. It was a true fast-track from Toro Rosso into one of the very top teams in the sport and then out. And it was like: 'Wow, OK. It did hit me hard, as it would anyone."

Albon's voice falters as he talks, and his eyes well up a little.

"I remember the meeting," he says. "I remember everything as clear as day. And I have to say, first, I have a very strong network of people. My family. My friends. And people around me that you see today.

"Very quickly, I was back to work. I was in the simulator very early in January. 'OK, what's my job, how am I going to get back into F1?' And I kind of had a goal and a plan to do that.

"I would say I want F1 more than any other driver. Everyone will say that. But I genuinely believe it. And I knew I had to really do what it takes, in a way that was quite strange because I can't actually prove myself. It was almost like, what can you do without driving the car?"

On 2012:

This was far from the first setback of Albon's career. For many years, he had struggled to keep things on track.

Born to a British father - former racing driver Nigel Albon - and a Thai mother, he'd been a Red Bull-backed driver early in his career, but lost their support after an indifferent season in Formula Renault in 2012, caused by a major personal upheaval.

His mum Kankamol - with whom he is particularly close - was jailed for fraud, leaving a 15-year-old Albon to look after his younger brother and three sisters.

He still doesn't like to talk about it. But in the first series of Netflix's Drive to Survive series, he admitted it was "by far the hardest year l've had in my life", recalling how he "saw her get locked up and taken away".

Albon says now the difficult road "helped" when it came to rebuilding his career. "It's just because l've gone through it," he says.

"I've had it before, personal stuff, as well as I had it in Formula Renault, where I wasn't going to race the year after and we scrambled along and pretty much got a budget together within, like, two weeks of the first race.

On his personality and determination:

In person, Albon is modest and unassuming. It's hard to square such an apparently gentle character with the steel he must have required to get where he has.

"The general public get me wrong," he says. "They think I'm this happy-go-lucky kid constantly, and that I'm not hungry; maybe too nice.

"They will never see the fiery side because they don't have a headset. They don't listen to me when I'm driving. I am naturally quite happy. I do love what I do. It's the reason why I wanted to be in F1 so much. And I felt like I've learnt to enjoy and relax about it. But you definitely need a fiery side if you want to be in F1."

I tell him that what got him to this point seems more like steel than fire, and he says: "It's both. It's the resilience and at the same time it's determination.

"As a driver, you almost need to be a fighter. When you have a helmet on, you're fighting other drivers. And I am fired up. I really am not a nice person when I have my helmet on. Speak to the engineers here and they'll tell you that."

On fighting for his return to the grid:

Albon's answer was to throw himself into work behind the scenes with Red Bull. There were weeks, he says, when he would spend six days out of seven in their simulator.

He prepared a data sheet that proved, he said, his results at Red Bull were better than the general perception and "well in line with the people who I took over from or replaced me".

Albon said they showed the 2020 car "wasn't that easy".

At the Austrian Grand Prix in July 2021, he met Williams chief executive officer Jost Capito and gave him the data as he made a pitch for the drive. The sheet, he told Capito, "showed not just what I can bring but also on a pure performance side, I'm a good driver and you should take me".

Williams knew they would need a replacement for Russell, who was being promoted to Mercedes for 2022. In the background, Russell was making Albon's case to the team.

"He played a part for sure," Albon says of his close friend. "He got my name on the map.

"I've raced against George for a lot of my career and I'm in a very thankful position where he does respect or believe in my ability. He did mention my name a few times to Jost and the board; I joked about it but it is true, almost a bit too much, to the point where they said they wouldn't listen to him!"

Marko and Red Bull team principal Christian Horner also weighed in for Albon. "I know that they both also convinced Jost to take me," he says. "I'm sure - I know - that they also told Jost the job that I was doing.

On his support system and marketing:

Outside the car, Albon has revamped his support structure, taking on a manager, and forming a new relationship with a performance coach.

With them, he says he can "talk about offloading marketing stuff as much as I can".

Williams have turned Albon's distaste for marketing activities into a bit of a running joke on their social media channels. He smiles and agrees, but adds: "It's a genuine thing. There is a lot of noise in F1 and I think I most probably got caught up in it a bit too much in 2020. There was a lot of firing going on and I was trying to avoid all the bullets.

"Red Bull were very good to me and were trying to help me and support me, but having that circle around me has allowed me to really focus on the driving side - the thing that I really like.

"I'm much more of a quy who is comfortable with the engineers than in front of a TV camera and that kind of thing.

"With stuff like Daniel and Oscar, to be able to drive with so much talk going around, it's not an easy thing to do," he says. "I think as a rookie, even in 2020, I wish I could tell myself the stuff I know now. But you can't, so hindsight is a wonderful thing."

On 2022:

His performances have been so good it's almost as if Williams have lost Russell and replaced him with the same driver. Albon's advantage over team-mate Nicholas Latifi is almost identical to the one Russell had.

Albon says his focus right from the start at Williams was getting himself back to being the driver he always believed he could be.

"I had a vision of the areas I wanted to work on from back in 2020," he says. "I was like, 'OK, I want to fix my areas almost first and really understand. I've got to get comfortable with the team and all that kind of thing.'

"That's almost slightly separate to the performance of the car and where it was at. I've got to look at myself and really... I wouldn't even call it shake off the rust, but really focus on my development."

In the end, all this introspection and hard work has paid off.

"I can only say that I feel comfortable," Albon says. "I feel confident in the car. I feel confident with myself in the team and I know for a fact that I'm driving better than I did in 2020.

"If I look at it almost selfishly, independently, I feel like the year has gone as good as I could have hoped for."

He hopes, he says, he has proved a point.

[ameliawarnerr]

Evanescent

(She was the evanescent of his life– there and gone.)

Part 5

(Part 4: here)

Jake’s pov

“I never thought you would go to a festival.” Dan speaks as he sits on the driver’s seat. I'’ve been sitting on the passengers seat for twenty minutes waiting for them to get ready. Dan is the only one who has shown up. Amelia and Lilly are still inside.

“Neither did I.” It comes out as depressed for a whole different reason. Alex Graham, I can't find anything about him. I have reached out to a few people and they just told me to wait. Only if I had my computer, I would have gotten something in an hour or two.

“What’s up with your mood swings? You don’t sound this exhausted when you are with Amelia. Are you pretending to be happy?” Never in my lifetime I imagined to be having such a conversation with Dan. But something about him has changed ever since I clarified that I am not a traitor to the country or stole money.

“I am not. That side of me naturally occurs around her. And when I am not by her side, everything else hits me.” It's hard to believe the words leaving my mouth because they never do. The only person I open up to is Amelia but I can't talk to her about this.

Dan hums. “Everthing else? You mean, the government and shit?”

I shake my head.

“Then what?”

I sigh. “If I tell you, what are the chances that you wouldn’t tell Amelia?”

He shrugs. “Like, zero.”

I fight a laugh at his honesty. “That’s what I thought.”

“So what is it?” He opens a can of beer and offer me. I shake my head. “Whatever it is, if you think you shouldn’t tell her, then you definitely should.”

I have always relied on solving problems myself. Even in the investigation to find Hannah, I relied on Amelia for all the things I couldn't do. And she relied on me for what I could do. I have no experience in solving problems that require involvement of emotions. I do not want to ask anything of her. I’d hate to be the one asking her questions. I would listen to her for eternity but I can't ask her. I don't find myself in that position.

“I can't.” I simply say since I have no idea how to explain it to Dan or how much he’d care about my issues.

“What you mean you can’t? You got a mouth. You got a cerebrum. Work it out.” I can't help but to smile at how easy he thinks it is.

“If I could simply tell her, Dan, I would have. If it was anything about me, she would be knowing it by now.” I curse internally on how much I am sharing.

“So wait,” Dan puts his beer away, sitting straight. “It’s not about you? It's about her?”

I poke my tongue against the inner membrane of my mouth turning my head towards the window. I need to relearn how to keep my mouth shut.

“Is it an ex problem?” Dan asks.

“No.” Then, I realise something. She has been living for twenty years and would have come across plenty of men. Alex Graham, the guy who messaged me, could be one of them. “I’m not sure.”

Dan leans back in his seat, nodding to himself. “That’s why you need to ask her but you are not sure if you should ask her.”

I close my eyes, taking in how correct he is.

“Well, I don't know much about the shoulds and should nots. But I know that you should stick with the should nots for tonight.”

I open my eyes. He's right. Tonight is not the occasion for having such sort of conversation nor am I prepared for it.

“Or else, if you need to beat the shit out of someone, I'll be there. First row. No questions asked. I just love the thrill of fighting.” I thought Amelia was the only one who could make me laugh but I had been wrong. Dan can be funny too. Sometimes. Rest of the times, he's just annoying.

I close my eyes and let my head fall back. After a few minutes, I whisper, “Thanks.” When he didn't say anything I was sure he didn't hear me but then—

“Anytime, man.”

We wait for a few more minutes for Amelia and Lilly in a comfortable silence. Then the door to the back seat opens, and my eyes goes to the mirror in order to see Amelia. My heart does a crazy jump when I find her already looking at me from the mirror. She smiles and I return her smile unknowingly. When I told Dan that she brings out my this side naturally, I didn't lie.

Lilly sits beside Amelia on the backseat.

Dan starts the car. “Are you idiots ready?” Amelia and Lilly answer enthusiastically with a ‘Yes’. And I do no understand why they answer when they are being addressed as idiots but I do laugh.

Lilly starts a random conversation. “I haven't painted in a while. It's like the colors inside me are screaming.”

“You paint?” Amelia asks, astonished.

I knew. I did a background on all of them.

“Lilly’s an art major.” Dan says. “And I tried my luck at a law college. One year and I dropped out.”

I knew that too.

“What about you?” Lilly asks Amelia.

“I went to Everbetten Institute of Arts. I'm a drama major.”

I... didn't know that. I had planned to run a background check on her after talking to her once. After talking to her, I didn't want to know anything about her, I wanted to explore her, little by little. Even the information I took down from Dark Web didn't have much.

My chest tightens. The name of the institute sounds awfully familiar. My hand grabs my phone and looking for the screenshots of the information I got on Alex Graham.

Passed out from Everbetten Institute of Arts.

Irritation and a pile of questions fill me. I'd do anything to have my computer right now but again I feel helpless because even my hacking skills won't be able to find answers this time.

Dan seems to have noticed my stiffness so drifts the conversation towards me and I feel like puching his face. “What about you, Jake?”

I look at him and he gives me the type of smile that says answer or else Amelia will know something is wrong.

“I got into music in my teenage. Guitar, basically.” I say and the shock in the atmosphere is visible. Dan’s mouth is a little open as he tries to make sense of what I said. Lilly stares ahead blankly. And Amelia is looking at me through mirror and I find myself unable to look at any of them. “I’m not going to play it for you—”

“You are definitely going to play.” Dan says.

“Yes, you are.” Amelia and Lilly chime in from behind.

I sigh. I should have something complicated related to computers.

The flow of conversation keeps declining to more and more unsophisticated as we reach the festival.

As we get out of the car, my eyes fall on Amelia. I could finally see her without any obstacles. And she looks...exquisite and irresistible. Everday she reminds me what I would be missing if I had walked away. Everyday I thank myself for staying. There's so much I don't know about her but I don't mind. I'll be happily on her magical mystery ride.

The light dress she's wearing with shades of purple isn't anything special but if she were to be lost in a crowd, I'd spot her in an instant.

“Hi.” She says as if we just met.

“Hey.” I play along.

All of a sudden, I feel that she's too far away. I pull her towards me with a hand on her waist. Her breath hitches slightly. I love how she reacts to my touch.

“You look good.” She steals my words.

I look at our surroundings. Lilly and Dan are already looking for something. There's a huge crowd. I look again at her eyes to find the familiar comfort. “I have no idea what we are supposed to do here.” I admit.

She shrugs. “Neither do I. Let's just find something to eat first?”

I nod, although I'm not hungry for food. I'm hungry for every second I can spend with her.

I hold her hand as we through the crowd.

“Wait a moment.” She says pulling her hand back. She bends a little to fix the strap of her scandals. Someone comes in between us and she’s no longer in front of me. I spot her a little away from me. I chase but she keeps looking here and there. She can't hear me either.

The crowd gets thicker and it gets hard to breath. I get out of the crowd. My hand immediately going to my phone.

I dial her digits and a familiar sound comes from behind me. It's her ringtone. I turn around to find her. I smile but it is short lived. There's a guy behind her. He doesn't look like he's just passing by.

“Jake.” She calls out and I look her again. She gestures to the guy. “This is my friend, Alex. We went to the same college.”

Part 6

-------------------------------

Heyyy

What do you think? Lemme know in the comments! I love reading your replies and replying to you!

Thank youu

Love y'all

[quoththe-ravenn]

HEY BESTIE i love your blog and your thoughts,, am holding my hands out like a little victorian boy begging for coins but i would love to hear your Thoughts on characters like doren, mason, alex or wren mindbreaking pc ,, bastard pc is Good but i have a CRAVING for innocent pc that gets Corrupted by the people they thought they could trust (am going to name myself 🦴 anon bc i Feel myself being a regular on your blog ngl)

Okay first of all, I'm sobbing you're so nice bestie hnnngggg

And secondly I go feral for mindbreaking. The more traumatized, the better 👌 Thank you for the request!

Tw for noncon, mind games, drugging

Doren

He's been grooming you ever since the day you stepped into his class

Anytime one of the delinquents would bully you, he'd be there to stop them. Eventually you started to associate him with safety

When he invites you to stay at his house, you agree happily. He's practically your father! What could go wrong?

You hate yourself for ever thinking that the moment he slides himself into you, jutting deep and hard. Even more-so for the way you shiver at his praises.

"Look how good you're doing for me. How well your body is taking my cock."

"Don't cry, my dove. I'm doing this to protect you! Who better to take your virginity than the one who's been protecting it all this time?"

Keeps you there for a week or two, taking you roughly but whispering sweet praises and giving soft lingering kisses on your skin.

Gives you the best aftercare, washing you in their tub and making sure you're fed and hydrated. Don't you see how good he takes care of you? How much he loves you?

You don't know why you were so afraid in the beginning. He's right after all; who else has been there to protect you besides him?

Mason

You can't help but be drawn in by Mason. His boyish charm and sweet blushing face. When you accidentally bump into him at the lake one day, he is all smiles and warmth.

Invites you to his pond, and tells you about his past and why he loves swimming so much.

Has you laughing so hard your sides hurt; when was the last time you felt this happy? He lights up when you tell him so.

Is a shoulder to cry on as you explain your living situation. Ends up helping you make the money you need, and doesn't ask for anything in return!

Until he does, that is.

Catches you after school and offers to drive you to the lake. Oh, I forgot something at my cabin! We'll just make a quick pitstop.

Pins you against the door the second its shut, engulfing your mouth in his. Sighs every time you try to pull away, almost like he's disappointed.

Hasn't he been so good to you? He's helped you out so many times, worked so hard to help you raise that money. Doesn't he deserve a reward?

Looks so sad as he's thrusting into you. Why are you crying sweet? Don't you love me? Haven't I taken such good care of you? Please don't cry, he's doing this because he loves you!

Keeps you in the cabin indefinitely. Think of all the debt you've accumulated by forcing him to keep you locked up. Who's going to help you if not him? Better to just keep you here, keep you safe.

You can't even remember why you should fight anymore. Mason does take great care of you, after all.

Alex

Honestly, Alex pretty much mindbreaks you the minute you prove your worth to him.

Entrusts you with the sad story of how he's trying to prove his worth to his father. About how he needs this farm to survive to keep his family from poverty. He has 12 siblings, after all.

Offers you a drink every night, stays up talking with you about the troubles in life.

Kicks Bailey off his property without any fuss. Even before you could ask him to.

Carries you to bed one night when you've had a little too much to drink. Wait, why can't you move your arms? Alex? No, why are you unzipping your pants? Alex! No!

You can hardly remember anything in the morning, just faint images of alex on top of you.

Alex is offended when you ask him about it. Why would he ever do that to you? He takes care of you! Don't you trust him?

Happens again that night, and every night onward until you know you're not imagining it.

Wait, you don't remember? You asked, practically begged Alex to take you last night. Said something about how all your dreams made you want the real thing. Poor dear, you should really lay off the alcohol.

You can't help the nagging feeling that something is off every time Alex kisses you or puts an arm around you.

You're sure that he put something in your drinks, that you didn't want this. Aren't you?

Wren

Its over the minute he spots you on Alex's farm. Leans on the fence asking what a pretty young thing's doing working in the field.

Flirts shamelessly, makes you feel first and foremost in his life. "Yeah, I got a pretty important job to get to, but I couldn't go without saying hello to my favorite farmer first."

Always leaves you blushing, and is always respectful, asking if he can kiss you and hold you.

When he finds you in the fields late one night, he pounces. Pins you face down to the dirt and whispers such dirty things into your ear

You're flushing and crying at the things he says he's going to do to you. That brat doesn't deserve to keep you, not when Wren can treat your body so well

At least makes sure you're properly ready for him before taking you. Oh, you were a virgin? You must have been saving it for him, how sweet.

Once he's done, he doesn't keep you like the others. No, he just visits you every night until you're begging for more. Don't tell Alex unless you want Remy's wrath to come down on all your hard work

Gets you to come over and play a round of blackjack with his friends, making you cockwarm him the whole night. Leaves you panting and begging for him to fuck you. Please Wren, I can't take it anymore, please!

Eventually it just becomes routine for you to stay at Wren's cottage every night. Sure, sometimes he doesn't make it home, but who else is going to keep his friends happy?