#don't get me wrong I love the musical &just the outsiders in general more than anything in my entire existence

[this-hopeless-war]

Ik the musical is incredible but would anyone show up and watch the movie with me??

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Something Rotten

Pairing: Dark!QZ Joel x afab!reader x Dark!QZ Tess

Words count: 4300 (more or less)

Rating: + 18, absolutely NSFW. This shit is triggering, read the tags carefully and please if your a minor don’t interact.

Warnings/Tags: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, smut, heavy degradation, kidnapping, reader is tied to the bed with a rope, mention of strong painkillers, depressing thoughts, both Joel and Tess are EVIL, mention of offering sex in exchange for protection, Dub-con/non-con (well, she’s into that and I made sure to say that she’s deeply aroused but still), no kindness whatsoever, face slapping, being threatened with a gun and knife, blood, wound (Tess writes a word on Reader's body with a knife), pussy slapping, tits slapping, oral (m receiving), deep throating, scissoring, slurs (whore, slut), pet names (honey, baby, pet, kitten), mention of Robert (you know that prick at the beginning of the series who makes Tess get beaten up? That's him. but anyway he is the least of the problems in this thing), ripped panties, orgasm denial, cum eating, hair pulling, reader has hair that can be pulled, no other description of her is given, I think it’s all but I will be sure to add anything I may have forgotten as soon as I can.

A/N: Happy Halloween! This is indeed a nightmare of a fic LOL

Ok, enough, I'm getting serious again. I know it’s a lot, please don't read if you don't feel comfortable with those kind of things. I've never written anything like this before, it was a test for me because those who read me know, I'm usually very soft. I've started writing the second part if anyone wants to read it, I preferred to publish this first because it was getting pretty long (And I honestly want to see how this one goes before I continue lol). Sorry if you find any errors, I hope there aren't too many. I don't have a beta, I reread it but my eyes are exhausted at this point 💀 (English is not my first language, you know that, right? lol)

Again, no one is obligated to read but I wanted to thank those who provided me with the songs I listened to while writing this: @magneticecstasy @hoelaris @lovely-vamp-princess @baronessvonglitter @whocaresstillthelouvre and @almostempty for having called together her trusted connoisseurs 😎, you all are truly amazing ♥️ (Something Rotten is a Placebo song I added between your amazing music advices).

Playlist can be found here.

(While we're at it, if anyone would like to be tagged on my fics in the future, let me know, thank you very much!)

Thanks to anyone who reads this!

Archive tags: @pedrostories ♥️

“Now what should we do with you?” Tess’s voice is sharp, with a smug undertone.

“Maybe we should get rid of her.” Joel is just as blunt, smiling wickedly as he watches you shake like a leaf.

There’s obvious disappointment painted on your face, as well as fear of what these two might do to you.

——————————————————-

You know Joel and Tess, everyone in the QZ knows them, at least everyone trying to make ends meet like you.

They’re the most skilled smugglers and also the most ruthless.

No one would want to have them as enemies, but you, due to circumstances beyond your control, just tried to steal some of their supplies. You heard they had just left the Qz to stock up, apparently they know someone outside.

You thought you were safe. Turned out you were wrong, they came back sooner than you expected.

You wouldn’t have made such a bold move if it weren’t for the fact that Robert died, killed by Tess, as far as you know.

You and Robert had a relationship, if you could call it that, he gave you protection in exchange for sex. You didn't like Robert, to be honest, guy was a piece of shit himself, but he was the lesser evil. He was generally stupid and driven by his dick rather than his brain so it was pretty easy for you to please him and make sure he kept you safe from the unrestrained FEDRA soldiers, who are anything but devoted to rules and discipline, and you never lacked food while you were with him, much more than some people in this seedy Qz had.

Batting your eyelashes and giving him head every now and then was enough to have what you needed.

Robert was a gun runner, people feared him, everyone except Joel and Tess who thought he was an incompetent and arrogant moron.

They weren't entirely wrong but everyone in this shithole of a place survives as best they can.

You should have relied on your own strength from the beginning but when you arrived here you were so tired, hurt, heartbroken from having lost all the people you cared about that leaning on someone seemed like an acceptable compromise.

You were desperate again after losing Robert, so hungry you barely remembered how food really tastes.

You snuck into their room, cursing your stomach that was growling loudly. You held your breath as the door creaked open to reveal a rather bare, makeshift mini-apartment. No one was there, so you tiptoed around looking for something edible. You noticed a floorboard that was a bit off. Bingo.

You lifted it up and found a stash of dried meat, along with several bags of pills and a gun.

You took some pills that you recognized as strong painkillers, just in case you might need them.

Your hand shook as you pulled out the plastic bag full of dried meat, your stomach giving you no respite.

And just as you were about to take a bite, you heard some noises.

Shit.

You looked around nervously for a place to hide but to no avail. The bed was resting on bricks and barely rose from the floor, too little room to slide under. There were no closets, no dressers or anything.

Shit.

You were screwed.

The footsteps you heard were getting closer and closer and in a total panic, not knowing what else to do, you cowered behind a couch, the dried meat still in your hand while the pills danced in your bra.

You were certain that you would be discovered in no time.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, a cold sweat was breaking out on your forehead. You squeezed your eyes shut in prayer even though you’ve never been a religious person.

Tess saw you first. “What do we have here?” she hissed. Joel caught sight of you next, your head awkwardly poking out from behind the couch.

Stupid stupid stupid.

“A thief,” he stated coldly, as he tugged at your jacket and pulled you out of your hiding place. Tess looked you up and down as you stared at the floor, terrified.

——————————————————-

“What the hell were you trying to do?” she asks you ironically, as if it makes her laugh. In fact, you feel ridiculous for even thinking you could get away with them, it would have been wiser to stay hungry while waiting to earn some cards.

Now you’re in troubles.

Big troubles.

You wanted to get the gun, but you couldn't and now you're standing in front of them, unarmed and scared as the barrel of Joel's gun is grazing at your cheek.

“I asked you a question,” Tess points out, “you better answer it.”

Joel hands the gun to Tess, tears the dried meat out of your hand and shove your arms behind your back, holding you tightly by your wrists, while Tess glares at you.

The gun is now before your eyes, shiny and threatening.

“I… was hungry” and then quickly add a “I’m sorry” that barely escapes your lips.

“So you’ve been working out this brilliant plan?” Joel teases, his deep voice giving you goosebumps.

After Joel suggests taking you out, Tess remains silent for a while, looking at you like a piece of meat “She’s pretty though,” and an even more chilling smile spread across her face, “fuck, you’re too pretty for being a rat”

“Yeah” Joel agrees “here’s a tip for you, honey, if you wanna screw someone try not to let your stupid ass show”

They exchange another knowing glance that doesn't bode well and Tess finally speaks “we could have some fun.”

Guided by self-preservation and fear, you widen your eyes and exclaim, “Oh no, please no!”

Tess places her hand under your chin, manipulating your face like a puppet, turning it left and right to inspect it. “You’re not sick, are you?”

You remain silent and after a few seconds you feel her open hand land on your cheek and an unbearable burning sensation spread across your skin.

What you feel immediately after is the cold steel of the gun under your chin.

“See, she doesn’t like it when people don’t answer her,” Joel whispers in your ear, adding more shivers to the ones already shaking your body.

You open your mouth, struggling to get out some sound. “No” is all you can say.

“Good,” Tess hisses. Joel’s grip on your wrists shows no sign of loosening and your cheek hurts like hell.

There’s no way out.

“Since you were stupid enough to try to sneak in, from now on you will stay here.” Tess announces to you, with a voice that does not allow protests “And you will be our little toy”

She runs a hand over your neck, goes down to your breast and squeezes it hard over your shirt “Do you understand?”

“Yes” you whisper immediately, fearing another blow.

You don’t have enough strength to rebel, you are weak while they are incredibly strong, your head is spinning and you are one against two.

To make sure you don’t get any weird ideas, Joel ties you to the bed. He runs a rope between one of the bricks and the frame of the bed, chuckling evilly, “I’m sorry honey, but I have to, your little head is too imaginative to let you loose in here.” The way he looks at you it’s disturbing, licking his lips in anticipation of what he’ll do to you that night.

He’s not sorry at all.

He can't wait to use you as he wants.

His gaze is intense and dark and you feel like he can get under your skin and read your every thought.

Tess controls Joel's moves, gun still in her hand and when you are completely at their mercy, lying on the bed, with the rope that at most allows you to turn on your back, she bends down to look at you, running the cold steel of gun on your face. You feel tears stinging your eyes as you look at her "oh come on don't do that, after all it's always better than breaking your delicate back with those shitty jobs, right?"

Her mellifluous voice makes you furious, does she think she did you a favor? You would like to spit in her face, on that cold and evil face of hers but you don't.

You can’t.

There's no point in trying to fight back, they'd kill you.

You know that.

They both go off to who knows where and you stay there, waiting, unable to do anything else.

________________________________

It’s the dead of night when the door creaks again and they come back in. Your wrists hurt, you feel stiff, exhausted even though you’ve done nothing but lie there, consumed by fear.

Tess is the first to approach “so kitten, have you been good today?” she coos wickedly and pats your head just like you’re her pet.

You feel a blind rage fill you as she calmly sits on the bed and takes off her boots.

Joel sits on the other side, takes off the dark blue denim shirt he is wearing and unlaces his combat boots.

You are lying on your back now and you crane your neck to watch them.

It’s incredibly frustrating for you to realize that both of your kidnappers are gorgeous.

Tess has a cold beauty, long dark blonde hair framing her face, her lean body reveals itself before your eyes as she takes off her clothes.

She has several scars scattered across her back and arms that make her look even more dangerous, adorning her skin like battle wounds. Battles that somehow she has always won. She’s feral as a lioness and as wicked as a demon.

You never knew you were into women but looking at her right now you can’t deny to find her attractive.

Joel on the other side is tense and nervous as a violin string, rippling muscles and large calloused hands, messy hair and a scruffy beard covering his cheeks.

Your eyes are drinking in his figure, glaring on his broad shoulders, strong neck and plush lips.

He’s definitely the most handsome man in the QZ.

He too has several wounds that blend into his olive skin, giving him the aspect of someone who cannot be argued with in the slightest.

In the little time you have already spent together, however, you have noticed how he bends to Tess's will, as if he were a guard dog always on alert to protect her.

Tess is the brains, Joel is the arm.

He's placed a large switchblade on his pillow, there to remind you that you have no escape.

They are both in their underwear, their clothes lying on the floor. Tess orders Joel to untie you, the rope slowly loose on your wrists as Joel warns you “you better not make a single move or you will regret it, slut”. His voice in your ear is terrifying, bouncing around in your head like a nightmare you can’t wake up from.

“Good girl” Tess praises you briefly while you remain still, before ordering “undress her”

Joel unceremoniously removes your jacket and shirt, throwing everything on the floor. He unhooks your bra, brushing his fingertips along your back, and you shiver imperceptibly.

As your bra comes off, the pills you’ve hidden inside fall onto the bed, rolling onto the blanket. Tess shakes her head, squinting “What are those? Didn’t you say you were hungry? Do you need pills to feed yourself, you little whore?” her voice is like ice and the blade of the knife abandoned on the bed is suddenly at your throat, held by Joel.

Your voice breaks into tears as you try to justify yourself. You try to say that they are only for you, just painkillers, you’re not a drug addict, you won’t sell them, you won’t try to ruin their business.

“Pfff and we should believe you?” Joel scoff, laughing from behind your back, tugging violently on your arm and sliding the blade on your skin.

“I-please”

You don't even know what to say anymore.

"Stop whining, it gets on my nerves” Joel warns you as he slightly dig the blade into your cheek, scratching you just a little, just to let you taste the flavor of iron.

“You'll be a very good pet for us, won't you?” Tess whispers leaning close to your ear and running her fingers along your arm.

Tears now roll freely down your cheeks. She wipes away a tear and licks its salty taste from her thumb, pleased.

“Yes, I’ll be good I - I promise” you sigh.

“You certainly will be, if you don't want to taste Joel's knife.” He grins behind you and leave the switchblade on the sheets.

Your bra joins the other clothes on the floor as Tess squeezes one of your nipples between her fingers. She isn't gentle, she isn't delicate, her hand is firm, demanding, her fingers calloused.

After all, she isn't one to back down from a fight and everything about her shows it.

She pulls, pinches and twists, treating your nipple as if it belongs to her and she can do whatever she wants with it, looking you straight in the eye, intimidatingly, without even flinching.

Joel is still behind your back, sitting on the bed and he reaches for your hips, his large hands enveloping them and his fingers pressing hard into your flesh. He leans down and runs his tongue all the way up your spine, going up your shoulder and biting hard where it joins your neck. You cry out. You know it will leave a mark on you, his teeth tattooed on your skin.

Tess slaps your tit when a moan slips through your lips at the sensation of having Joel sucking hard on your skin, leaving more marks on your neck, his beard scratching you.

“You fucking like it, don’t you, pet?” She teases.

You can’t say anything, a stinging pain spread across your chest and you wonder how strong she really is despite her slim figure.

Joel detaches from you and Tess makes you lying on the bed again, unbuttoning and tugging down at your jeans, leaving you in nothing more than your ridiculously worn panties, they’re so old they’re basically see through but it’s not like you can have something fancy in the QZ.

She spots a wet stain right in the front and she smiles fake sweetly, you can still see the evil in her ice cold eyes.

She takes the hem and just rip them off, exposing your bare cunt.

You gasp and try to gather your hands in front of you for covering your privates but you can’t, Joel is still holding your wrists in a dangerous grip.

She laughs at your clumsy attempt “darling, rebelling won't do you any good, I thought I was clear before”

“Please,” you whisper, “please let me go. I didn’t steal anything in the end, I’m never coming back.”

“No,” she says firmly, “no. Do you know why? You don’t mess with us, you don’t even try. You have a lesson to learn.”

Her fingers run over your leg cold. You don't have time to beg again as another slap hits you. "Poor little girl, didn't your mother teach you manners? We'll have to think about it ourselves." She says, pursing her lips.

She slaps your cunt.

You throb.

And you’re wet.

You hate every cell in your body that is getting sexually aroused by them.

Your brain says no, but your body isn't following suit and you can't really explain it.

What was once pain is turning into a creeping, crawling tingle that runs under your skin.

Back in the days you had a boyfriend that used to fuck you roughly and you liked that but you certainly never thought to be aroused by people holding you captive.

It’s insane.

She lifts one of your legs up high, holding it tightly by the ankle as Joel brings your arms above your head on the bed and his grip continues to secure your wrists.

“Um, look at you. What a delicious wet pussy.” Tess coos.

Joel grunts at the sight “such a needy slut”

Tess positions herself between your legs and begins to rub herself on your pussy.

She doesn’t care a bit about treating you like a person, making your joints ache for the unnatural position, one leg impossibly strained with her grip and the other one straight on the bed with your thigh hurting under her weight.

You’re their muppet now.

The friction between your pussies makes you feel ashamed at first, you've never done it before. With each thrust of Tess on you, however, you begin to feel a heat enveloping your lower abdomen, going straight down to your clit making it sensitive and swollen.

You’re excited, as much as you hate to admit it.

Tess is wild, she’s claiming your body like a predator does with its prey, her small and perfectly shaped tits are bouncing in the air, nipples pink and hard.

You're biting your lip hard, holding back the moans that try to escape from the back of your throat.

You don’t know what came over you but wouldn't mind sucking on them .

You look up at Joel who towers over you, his gaze glassy, ​​fixed on your pussies slamming together making the most obscene sounds you've ever heard, like a squish on loop, wet and slippery.

Tess looks at you, her face twisted into an evil grimace as she groans and curse.

You're trying to control yourself in every way but your body responds, you feel a rush of pleasure flooding you. Fuck. It's like your brain is leaking out of your cunt.

You’re gasping under Tess.

Your hips move trying to seek more friction.

Hot tears stream down your face as you moan. You can’t believe how fucked up this is.

“Oh yeah, baby, go ahead and cry, be a pathetic whining mess, we don't give a shit. Your whore pussy is ours now.” Joel growls.

He moves in front of your face, his large hand covers your cheek completely and squeezes it hard, pinching your skin mercilessly before giving you a slap. You feel an unbearable heat radiating on your skin, you haven't even moved your arms even though he has let go of his grip.

“You’re just a plaything,” Tess echoes, “and you’re enjoying it, aren’t you, little scammer?”

Tess grinds against you relentlessly, she reaches down and twists your clit with two fingers and a wail of pain breaks from your lips.

You feel delirious under her ministration, her body takes what it wants from you and there's nothing you can do to stop it, on the contrary. Your nipples are so pebbled they look like little rocks on your chest, your cunt so sloppy and wet that your cream is lasciviously trickling on your inner thighs, you don’t recognize yourself anymore.

Tess comes above you, callin names and stuttering angrily.

You whine again and Joel barks “it’s time for you to shut up, slut”

He pulls down his boxers with a dark look and an incredibly devious smile plastered on his face. His cock is right in front of your eyes, semi hard, he spits in his palm and starts fisting it, up and down his length. It’s thick and swollen, more big than you expected.

His angry red tip almost touches your lips, he reaches for your jaw and pulls it “open wide, slut” he orders. Your lips are pressed together, you try to resist, but Joel takes a handful of your hair, pulling hard.“I. Said. Open. Wide.” punctuating each word with a stronger tug.

You can’t help but doing it, he’s basically tearing off your hair while Tess is still having no mercy of your cunt. She moves on the sheets and she stick two of her fingers in your cunt, up to the knuckles “Jesus, you’re fucking soaked baby, such a good slut”

Joel forces his cock into your mouth and begins to push inside you until he reaches the back of your throat, not letting you get used to it, your cry is muffled by your lips tightening around his shaft. His taste spread across your tongue as he moves abruptly into you, in and out of your lips. Your mind is fuzzy, you try to breathe from your nose but all you can feel right now is the aching of your jaw and the way Tess is scissoring her fingers inside your hole. They have no mercy and you’re madly aroused with it.

It’s not like you’re expecting something good from life at this point. Life isn’t gentle anymore, you lost everything a long time ago, you’re just trying to stay afloat biting off what you can and expecting nothing but bites back until the day fate or destiny decides it's over for you.

You don't know if there's a hint of what they call Stockholm Syndrome in all this but here you are, willing to be free use, for them to ruin, right on the verge of losing your mind. You’re pliant and hungry now, sucking on Joel cock like a good meal after a whole month of starvation, you’re reaching his balls with your hand, massaging and squeezing it lightly. Tess is watching you and she doesn't seem happy with the way you're trying to be, her hand lands again on your pussy, heavy and cruel, right on your clit.

“Oh don’t be too much of an ass kisser, I never liked them. And don’t do anything until we tell you to”

Joel grunts deeply as you let go of his ball “fuck I liked that though” and he grabs your hand back “since you like it, touch it, you dirty whore”

Tess rolls her eyes and slaps your pussy again and again until you feel your skin burning and you know you're about to come, your muscles are tense and your legs start to tingle as well as the bottom of your belly.

Tess understands and stops. “Oh, one more thing, you come if and when we decide.” A moan rises from deep in your chest and vibrates on Joel’s cock.

“Keep sucking” Joel urges you groping and squeezing your tits.

You move painfully up and down his length, him holding the back of your skull. Tess watches you, studying your reactions, a hint of jealousy in her eyes as Joel continues to thrust into your mouth, urging you “like this, little bitch, keep going - OH FUCK”

You can feel your cunt throbbing, screaming for a release.

Tess is giving you occasional kitten lick, so soft and so evil at the same time ‘cause you’re right on the edge. It’s a torture, an unbearable struggle that you can take anymore. Your cunt is clenching around nothing, your clit swollen and sore, you’re feeling delirious and you’re not allowed to come.

Tess picks up the knife again and you feel it slide across your inner thigh, it’s cold on your sweat-beaded skin and it makes you shiver. It rises dangerously close to your center, her evil eyes obsessively following the path of the blade. A sharp smile spreads across her face as she begins to sink the tip into your flesh, just enough to scratch your skin. You’re choking your whines on Joel’s cock as you smell blood in the air. It feels like she’s writing something, her trajectory is meticulous and careful, she pulls the blade out smiling again, satisfied with her work.

“Here you go, now everyone will know what kind of whore you are. If you ever get out of here”

She runs her tongue over what she just branded into your skin, your body shakes, your back arches insanely seeking for that delicious line between pain and pleasure, it’s stinging and soothing at the same time.

Joel is spilling inside you, his cum invading your mouth, painting your tongue and sliding warm down your throat. His face is red and sweaty, he's gritting his teeth, his neck is tense, his merciless hand holds you still clinging to your neck, he looks like a wild animal ready to devour you.

“Swallow it all, bitch” And you do it, you have no other choice. And you like it. You like the feel of his vein pulsing against the roof of your mouth, the heat and weight of him on your tongue, his musky flavor. It distracts you from the pain spreading across your thigh.

Joel only pulls out of your mouth when you've licked it clean.

It’s softening but it’s still the biggest cock you’re ever had.

He whispers in a hoarse voice that you are a very good little pet, smiling at you nastily, his big hands filling with your breasts, calloused and heavy, your nipples still hard under his palms.

Tess chuckles “yeah, she’s not that bad. And she’s a real fucking slut, aren’t you, honey? Your pussy is hungrier than your stomach”

You don't answer her, you are enraptured by Joel's dark and lascivious eyes, naked and helpless on the bed, branded like a cow, stupid and drunk on sex.

Your mind is no longer thinking clearly.

They both lie down on the bed to catch their breath, leaving you naked and sore at the foot of it, like a rag doll.

You never imagined this would happen to you when you came in here. And then, when they found you, the first thing you thought was that they were going to kill you. You're still here. Exhausted, in pain as you stare at the ceiling, sweat cooling on your skin.

You wonder how long it will last, where they will dump you when they get tired.

You're still alive anyway, that's enough.

There is definitely something rotten in you. You want to get up and see the word Tess wrote on your thigh but you are not brave enough. You trace it with a finger, shivering with pain, feeling your skin pull and pinch where it is starting to heal. If your touch is right it says “pet”.

[wardensantoineandevka]

I won't get around to writing a properly developed post on it, but speaking generally and assuming broad good faith, I personally think the anachronism in Veilguard is fine. I know it's a deeply held bit of style for a lot of people, and many hold the directive about no anachronism as important to things feeling properly Dragon Age.

Personally, I never felt it THAT important. I roll my eyes at nitpicking about historically accurate costuming too, and I pause to wonder what IS "anachronism" in fantasy. I think a lot of the style of the games leaned so hard on it that, in some places, it was a substituting this rule in place of developing stronger individual style or voice. I love this series, but I don't feel like characters (notably once you got past core cast), locations, etc. always and consistently had a strong sense of voice, both in terms of diction but also in visual direction. I feel like even the music gets this a little bit, since Veilguard feels more musically interesting to me than many of the prior tracks because, I think, the soundtrack is allowed to feel a little less like vaguely European medieval heroic fantasy.

There's always been anachronism, but I think the strict reliance on adhering to a particular conception of what A Fantasy Story looks and sounds like really hampered, at least for me, the development of style identity. Veilguard's voice and style broke from that in a way that did feel successfully more specific and striking for the story and characters it's trying to dress. I think being released from this directive does—because there's no longer what we bring ourselves to the table from our familiarity with the genre and pattern recognition—however, magnify flaws in how Bioware always has treated the setting as just the backdrop against which these dramas play out. But that's outside the scope of my thoughts here. I'll just summarize that with: that's a consistent Bioware problem, and I don't think it's inherently wrong to approach worldbuilding as merely dressing the set for your story, though perhaps that isn't always the most successful approach here and I know many fans are very invested in the setting itself and its development, so that would put us all at cross purposes.

Don't get me wrong. There IS a place for that sort of directive, a rule against things that scan too modern. But then, I think for it to work, you have to have a very firm idea of your own voice, of your individual style and direction working with that directive, and frankly, I don't think Bioware EVER really had a super strong grasp of it here.

I do think the character design especially, character voice, and visual identity suffered SO much in many earlier instances because of this directive. Meanwhile, I think it's interesting and striking to have things like, for example, Neve clearly drawing from film noir and how that informs how I approach and think about her as a character and how appropriate it feels that Lucanis and Illario end on the stage of an opera house. I feel like being released from having to worry about anachronism has, for me, produced some of the strongest instances of style and voice in the series in a long time.

And I know a lot of people feel the OPPOSITE, which is a matter of personal experience and taste, but for my own, it always felt like the series was weighed down by a notion of needing to properly emulate The Genre. (We've all looked at the infamous browns and muds of Origins, a game I am fond of. This is why it looks and sounds like that, in my opinion.) This fear of being too anachronistic or too modern often left the series not really feeling, to me, like it's really had a firm sense or idea of what its style or voice was, of what made it sound or look like itself, because it was always afraid of being too modern while also feeling afraid to not look enough like a heroic epic fantasy.

I think getting rid of that and no longer fearing it has done a lot for developing a stronger voice with a look, sound, and feel for Veilguard that feels more specific and conveys story and character so much better and more confidently. Because, in the end, that's supposed to be what this is all in service of: conveying character and story. I feel like Veilguard, in being released from this restriction, has developed a stronger voice with which to do it.

[kpop---scenarios]

Always & Forever

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Reader

Warning: Angst, Hurt feelings, Smut (unprotected, oral f. receiving) 18+ ONLY. MDNI

Summary: You broke up with Hongjoong, thinking it was the best thing to do. But it wasn't and only left you both broken.

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: Merry Christmas, @potatomountain !! Here is your secret santa gift! I hope you enjoy! I promise it's not all sad! ♡

Networks: @ksmutsociety @mirohs-aurora-society

“Is he going? For sure?” You turn to ask your friend, Soomi, who stood beside you smoothing out your dress. Even though you were getting ready, you still weren't sure if you were even going to attend this wedding. You wanted to go, you wanted to support two of your friends and their decision to get married, but if Hongjoong was going to be there, you didn't know if you were going to be able to be in the same room as him.

It had only been a couple months since you ended things with him, and to say you regret your decision everyday was an understatement. You missed him, his touch, his laugh, even just the presence of him that made you feel so safe and loved. Leaving him was the hardest thing you had ever done but you did it for him. Hongjoong's career with his group was taking off, the group was gaining momentum, media exposure and he was spending a lot of his time in the studio, filming music videos, doing interviews and his time for you continued to dwindle. You could see how much it was bothering him to not see you as much and to be honest, you didn't want to start to resent him for his lack of time and attention. You knew he loved you, and you loved him but to just love someone from afar wasn't enough. You knew that he wouldn't be the one that would end things with you. He would continue to kill himself trying to do everything for his group and still try to make time for you.

So you did it for him.

You went about it in the wrong way, instead of sitting down to talk to him, one night when he came home late, you decided to pick a fight about his lack of care and attention, knowing this would likely be the last time you would be around him. And it fucking hurt.

“What do you mean you're done?” He asks, setting his keys down on the table. You sat there with your arms crossed, trying to keep your face neutral.

“I can't do this anymore. You're never around. I don't get to see you, I barely talk to you anymore. I feel like I'm single, I might as well actually be single.” You yell.

You watch as his shoulders slouch, he looks at the ground, sniffling.

“Baby.” Hongjoong begins. “I'm doing this for us… for our future. Just… just give me some time and I promise I'll have some time off.” He says.

“I don't have any more time to give.” You murmur. “It's been long enough. I'm fucking lonely.” You whisper.

“Please.” He begs.

You needed to sell it. You needed him to stop. You needed to get able to go and make sure he wasn't going to try and stop you.

“Can we talk it out? Please.” He asks.

“Hongjoong, stop.” You sigh.

“Y/N, baby, please don't do this to me. Please don't leave me.” He cries, walking towards you.

“I don't love you anymore, Hongjoong.” You scream, tears spilling down your cheeks. He stops in his tracks. His eyes are wide, his mouth hanging open slightly. He stumbles back as he stares at you. Your hand flies over your mouth.

“I-” You pause. “I'm sorry.” You whisper, pushing your chair back. You run outside of the apartment, slamming the front door behind you. Leaving the man you loved more than anything, shattered, broken and alone.

You hadn't seen him since that night, and the thought of seeing him in the flesh was a terrifying thought.

“Yeah, he is.” Soomi tells you.

You take a deep breath as you finish getting ready. You were going to go. There's always a chance of seeing him while you're out, you might as well do it in a setting where you can semi control the interactions. You were sure you'd be able to avoid him, or any general area that he was in. You were strong.

“Are you still coming?” She asks.

You nod your head. Your throat was dry, you didn't think you could even whisper a yes in the moment. Nerves were taking over your body as you put the finishing touches on your favorite wedding outfit, your hair done the exact way you liked it.

You sighed loudly as you stared at yourself in the mirror, wondering if Hongjoong was thinking about you right now like you were about him. You hoped he was, even if he was thinking about how much he hated you.

“Ready?” Soomi asks, nudging you with her shoulder, bringing you out of your thoughts. You smiled at her, again nodding yes as you followed her out the front door. The two of you head down to the front entrance of the complex, to the waiting cab sitting out front.

The entire drive to the venue you felt like you couldn't breathe. Earlier you were a little excited at the thought of possibly seeing him but now you weren't so sure about it. What if he yelled at you in front of everyone? What if he cursed you out? What if he took one look at you and turned around and left? There were a million scenarios that ran through your head on the 45 minute drive. You felt like you were going to pass out.

It took Soomi a few minutes to break you out of your silent panic once you arrived outside the venue. She squeezes your hand in support as the two of you walk into the beautiful and large chapel. Hongjoong is suddenly erased from your mind for a few moments as you take in the beautifully decorated venue. You smile and wave at other friends who were already seated for the ceremony. You looked around and didn't see Hongjoong. You felt your body relax, as you chatted with friends, while you all waited for the music to start.

Once it did and there was still no sign of Hongjoong you were able to relax even more. He slipped from your mind once again as the groomsmen, the groom, flower girl and bridesmaids began walking down the aisle. You all smiled and stood up as the music changed and your gorgeous friend walked down the red carpeted aisle with her father. She looked so beautiful and so happy, walking down to her future husband who stood there in awe of her. And just like that, your mind flashes back to Hongjoong and the memories of him telling you that he was going to marry you and give you everything you'd ever need and or want.

“I only want you.” You giggled.

How that was still so fucking true. It was him. It always was him, and it always would be. And if it was meant to be, the two of you would be able to find your ways back to each other.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife!” The priest smiles. “You may kiss your bride!”

The church erupts with cheers and clapping as they share their first kiss as husband and wife, walking down the aisle, hand in hand, grinning from ear to ear.

“Let's go get a drink.” You whisper to yourself friends, all of you giggling as the crowd leaves the ceremony, heading to the reception across the street. The first thing you do is head to the bar, ordering drinks for your table. You turn around, leaning against the bar, watching everyone mingle, seeing the bride and groom happily sit with each other, talking to guests. You were so happy you decided to come along, as it turned out there was nothing for you to even worry about.

Until there was.

You turned around to grab the drinks and head back to your table, and while on your way, you almost dropped all 5 drinks in your hands. Hongjoong walks into the bar. He was wearing an all black suit, his shirt unbuttoned a little. His hair was now black, slicked back and he looked so fucking good.

The two of you lock eyes, your heart begins to race. Did you smile at him? Talk to him? Nod? Do nothing? You weren't prepared for this, in all your panicking you never figured out what you would do if you actually saw him. Before you could decide on what to do, he breaks eye contact, dropping his head and moves through the crowd of people. You set the drinks down, your heart felt like it was going to fall out of your chest. He looked so fucking good, but broken, and you were the one to blame.

You had never prepared yourself for what it would feel like to see him. You hadn't realized it would hurt this much but you supposed you deserved that feeling.

“You okay?” Your friend asks, seeing your smile now gone.

“I saw Hongjoong.” You sigh.

“And?” One asks.

“He stared at me, dropped his head and walked away.” You murmur, taking a sip of your drink.

“Just try to relax.” Soomi smiles. “Everything always works out the way it's supposed to.” She says.

“Yeah.” You breathe. “I guess.”

It didn't help. You wanted him back, but was it too late? Would he ever take you back? You weren't sure but something inside you kept telling you to try. You looked around the bar for him, and once your eyes landed on him, it was hard to look away. You continued to steal glances of him for the next hour, taking in his smile that you've missed so much. You could hear his laugh despite all the noise in the bar. You could smell him even though he kept his distance from you. You kept drinking, downing more drinks than you should have, taking a couple shots. Your inhibition was lowered, you were prone to making poor decisions when you were drinking, and trying to talk to him while intoxicated absolutely fell under that category.

“I'm doing it!” You announce, standing up, slamming your hands down on the table. “I'm going to win him back!”

“You don't think you should wait? Until you're sober?” Soomi asks.

“Sober, shmober.” You murmur. “I have to talk to him. I can't just keep staring at him from afar.”

You walked away from the realization of what you were going to do sobered you up a little. You found him with ease, just as he was setting his drink down and walking towards the bathrooms. You followed behind him, calling out for him. Either he didn't hear you, or he was ignoring you. You were sure he was ignoring you.

He walked into the men's room, and without any hesitation, you walked in right after him.

“Kim Hongjoong.” You yell, his back was towards you. He lets out a deep breath, turning around to face you.

“What do you want, y/n?” He asks.

“I…” You pause. “I just… I miss you.” You whisper.

He laughs. A humorless laugh. “You miss me? You left me, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember very vividly.” You say.

“You don't love me anymore. Remember?” He says.

“That's not true.”

“It's not true, huh.” He chuckles. “So if it's not true then why did you say it? Why did you leave me?”

“Because.” You pause, looking him in the eyes.

“Because what? You were lonely? I was focusing on my career too much? What?” He asks.

“Because I knew you wouldn't leave me. And I knew if we continued down the path we were going, you'd kill yourself trying to make me a priority along with your work.” You whisper.

He stands there, staring at you, his eyes wide. “Why wouldn't you talk to me?” He asks.

“What good would that have done?” You respond. “There was no other way around it. The group was taking off, you were getting busier and busier, what limited time you had was going to become non existent. Tell me, did you feel guilty being away from me for so long and for so often?” You ask.

“All the time.” He murmured.

“Exactly. But these last couple months…” you pause, the tears beginning to come. Your lip trembles. “Have been the worst of my life. I fucking miss you. I miss even just talking on the phone with you. Facetiming, the random sporadic nights we get together. I'd trade everything I have just to have those with you again. I don't care if I have to travel halfway across the world to see you, I'll do it. I just want you.” You whisper.

You weren't sure what you were wanting from him at this moment, but something would have been nice. Instead he stood there, staring at you, not saying a word.

You were beginning to get nervous. Maybe he moved on? Maybe he didn't want you anymore?

“Please. Hongjoong, please say something.” You whisper.

“I -” he pauses. “I can't do this right now. I have to go.” He says. He walks towards you, passing you, whispering an apology. He leaves you standing alone in the men's bathroom, wondering if telling him any of that was a mistake? You drag your feet as you make your way back to your table. You were no longer in the mood to celebrate.

“What happened?” Your friends ask as you grab your purse.

“I don't really want to talk about it.” You say, forcing a smile. “I'm gonna go.” You whisper, trying to keep the tears inside. You didn't want to cry in a crowded bar.

So you swallowed your tears, along with the lump in your throat as you made your way outside, the fresh air hitting you like a ton of bricks. You managed to find a cab through the tears in your eyes and with a shaky voice, told him where you needed to go. You leaned against the door, looking out the window as the rain started to pour. You watched it continuously run down the window as Hongjoong's words played in your head over and over again.

“I can't do this right now. I have to go.”

“I can't do this.”

Did you hope that he told you he missed you and desperately wanted you back? Absolutely. Were you expecting it? No, you weren't but you were hoping that he would have at least stayed and talked things out with you.

When you finally pulled up to your apartment, you paid the cab driver, and made your way upstairs. The second you opened your front door and stepped inside, the silence consumed you. It was deafening.

You dropped down to your knees, finally letting out the cries you had held in for over an hour. Curling up into a ball on the floor of your kitchen, sobbing, pleading to whoever that was listening that you didn't ruin any chances you may have had in getting him back.

You weren't sure how long you laid there, but it was long enough for there to be a puddle of tears left on the floor where you were. After you picked yourself up off the floor and shook it off. You cleaned up the puddle, and headed for the shower where you tried to wash off the feeling of regret. But it wouldn't wash off. No matter how much you scrubbed yourself, no matter how much soap you used, you couldn't get rid of that horrible feeling.

You stepped out of the shower, wrapping yourself in a towel. You wanted to crawl into bed, not even going to bother to get yourself dressed and you were going too but the moment you pulled back your blanket, there was a rapid knocking at your front door. You tightened up your towel, uncaring of who was on the other side of the door. You pulled it open, your eyes still red and puffy from crying.

“Yes?” You say as the door opens, but your eyes go wide. “Hongjoong.” You whisper.

“You know, y/n, you've got a lot of nerve.” He sighs. “Coming to me, out of nowhere, telling me you miss me and love me and that you left me for me.”

“I know.” You whisper.

“I want to hate you. I've wanted nothing more than to despise you for shattering my heart like you did. I've tried to hate you.” He says.

You nod your head. You deserved his hate.

“But I can't. Because I'm still so fucking in love with you.” He says. “It never fucking wavered even when you told me you didn't love me anymore. I still loved you with everything I had. I still do.”

The tears start again, rolling down your cheeks. Your entire body trembling as the man you loved so much stood before you, confessing how he was still in love with you.

“And I don't think I'll ever stop.” He says, stepping inside your apartment. You step back, he closes the door behind him. Without a second thought, his hand is on your cheek, and his lips are pressed against yours.

You wrap your arms around his neck, his arms wrapping around your body, holding you tightly. You missed the feeling of his hands all over your body. Hongjoong deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue into your mouth. You grasp at his shirt, trying to pull it off of him. You needed to feel him, skin to skin. He chuckles, breaking the kiss. He grabs your hand, pulling you towards the bedroom he has spent so many nights in before. You sit down on the bed, your towel still on but loose. He stands in front of you, unbuttoning the dress shirt he was still wearing. You groan at the sight of him as he drops his shirt down onto the floor.

“I'm so sorry.” You whisper as he crawls onto the bed, hovering over you.

“Shh, baby.” He smiles, peppering kisses across your face, down your neck, onto your chest. He opens up your towel, running his hands over your body. “I've missed you so fucking much.” He whispers, kissing between your chest, down to your stomach.

“Please, Hongjoong.” You whimper.

“What do you want from me, baby?” He asks.

“You. I want you inside me.” You breathe.

Hongjoong smiles, standing back up as he unbuttons his pants, letting them pool around his ankles. He steps out of them, pulling down his boxers, letting his cock spring free. You bite your lip,

“Patience, baby.” He whispers, pulling you to the edge of the bed, settling in between your legs on the floor. He spreads your legs, licking his lips before he licks a long strip up your already soaked cunt. He moves his tongue between your lips, flicking your clit with a sense of desperation. You moan loudly as you try to buck your hips. He pushes you back down, holding you down as he sucks on your clit, swirling his tongue around, making you grasp the bed sheets. It felt so fucking good, it had been so long, you felt like your whole body was about to explode.

“Hongjoong..” you pant. “I'm gonna cum.” You gasp.

You can feel him smile between your legs as he moves his tongue faster, pushing a few fingers inside of you.

“Fuck.” You gasp, clenching yourself around his fingers. He quickly thrusts them in and out of you, moving his tongue faster and faster, pushing you over the edge within seconds. Your orgasm explodes through your body, causing you to pant loudly. Hongjoong wastes no time, pulling his fingers out of you, using your juices to coat his cock.

“Get on your hands and knees. ” He says, stroking his cock. He crawls onto the bed behind you, landing a hard smack on your ass, making you whimper.

He lines himself up with your entrance pushing himself inside of you before gripping onto your hips. You roll your eyes back as he pushes himself as far as he can inside you, digging his fingertips into your hips. You gasp loudly as your cunt stretches from his cock, your arms giving out on you as you lay your face on the bed with your ass in the air.

“That's right, baby.” He groans, slowly pulling his cock out of you before slamming back inside, making you yelp.

“Faster, please. Fuck me harder.” You gasp, needing him to wreck you. His grip on you tightens as he thrusts faster and harder, ramming his cock into you over and over. He leans over you slightly, moving his hand to your head, pushing your face into the mattress.

“Fuck! Right there.” You cry out, gripping the bed sheets even harder than before. You squeeze your eyes shut while he pounds into you.

“I've fucking missed you.” He pants. You move your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit as Hongjoong fucks you mercilessly.

You can't speak, only moan as you rub your clit faster, matching the pace of his thrusts. Your heart was beating rapidly as your second orgasm builds, only taking seconds to hit and flow through your body, making you jolt.

“I'm so fucking close.” Hongjoong grunts. He holds onto you tightly as he fucks you faster, moaning loudly as his orgasm finally hits. His thrusts slow down as he releases his load deep inside you, coating your walls with his cum.

“Fuck.” He breathes, pulling out of you. You both collapse onto the bed, the smell of sweat and sex filling your room.

Your head rests on his chest, no words are spoken while the two of you catch your breath, soaking in the presence of each other once again.

“I really missed you.” You whisper.

“I'm sorry I made you feel like you needed to end things for me to be happy.” He says, his finger trailing over your back.

“I'm sorry I did that too. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time.” You reply.

“Please don't ever do that again.” He says. “Talk to me if you have concerns.”

“I will. I don't want to be apart from you again. We're in this together.” You smile.

“Forever.”

“Forever and Always.”

[pickingupmymercedes]

I'd like to believe - Lewis Hamilton

Alternative sequel to Maybe in another life / When I get to meet you

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: mentions of mourning, angst, will make you emotional

wordcount: +1K

a/n: Alternative-ish ending (this was actually my first draft to continue their story, so the happy-ish one is the alternative, sort of).

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

MILD TRIGGERING CONTENT UNDER, PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

______________________________________________________________

My dearest little one,

Today marks ten years since you should have been here, celebrating another year of life. Ten times the snow has fallen, making everything quiet outside.

They say time heals all cuts, but some cuts go real deep, leaving scars that never quite go away. And I still find it hard to believe that a whole decade has passed.

You'd be so grown now, so full of life and curiosity, brimming with questions and dreams. I often wonder what you'd be like – would you have my stubbornness and determination, or your mother's grace and patience?

Maybe a beautiful blend of both, creating someone truly unique.

I’m going to visit your stone again later today. Leave this letter like every year. I suspect there’ll be fresh flowers, as always, probably from your mother.

She never forgets.

We never reconnected, not like I'd hoped for. But I think about her often.

I searched everywhere for her. I just really needed someone to share the pain with, someone to hold onto while everything fell apart. We tried talking, spilling out all our feelings, but the words wouldn't come out right. Maybe we were afraid of saying the wrong thing or making things worse.

Maybe we were both thinking the same thing – maybe if we'd done things differently, maybe you'd still be here.

After a while, the space between us just kept getting bigger, too big to cross. You see, your mom, she found a way to move on. She built a life for herself, a life where the pain was still there, but it didn't control her anymore.

I hope she's found peace and happiness, something she deserved more than anyone. She was an incredible woman, and I wish I had been the man she needed me to be.

I hope she reads these letters someday, that she understands how much I loved you both, how much I regret not being there when you needed me most.

Maybe one day, when the weight of these years starts to feel a little lighter, I can finally forgive myself.

Maybe then, I can find the strength to reach out to her, not to get back together, but to find some peace, a simple way to say thank you for the love we shared and sorry for the loss that tore us apart.

You know, life has changed quite a bit since I last wrote to you.

I'm with someone, have been for the past four years. She's patient, kind and knows about you. I don't think we'll ever have children though. She's got her own ghosts.

I retired from racing. Shortly after I won my eighth championship with Ferrari. It was a dream come true, but also bittersweet because I couldn't share it with you. I work as a consultant for the team now, just like Niki was for me at Mercedes. You’d have loved him.

It's a different kind of thrill, guiding the next generation of racers, helping them navigate the same challenges I once faced, but it drives me forward.

I’d like to believe you’d be proud of your old man for that.

I sometime wonder if you would have been drawn to racing too, or maybe you'd have found your passion in something entirely different. Whatever it might have been, I would have supported you every step of the way and with all my heart.

I think about the things you'd enjoy often; you know?! The hobbies and interests you'd develop.

Maybe you'd love music, like your mother. She had an incredible ear for it, always humming a tune or singing softly to herself. It’s what got us close in the first place so many years ago.

Perhaps you'd have a knack for building things, creating something out of nothing with your hands and imagination.

Either way, I hope you'd have found joy in the simple things, just like I try and do now.

There's so much I wish I could’ve shared with you. So many lessons I've learned the hard way and would to show you. Life isn't always easy, my little one. It's filled with ups and downs, triumphs and failures.

One of the most important things I wish I could’ve taught you is the value of love. Real love, the kind that fills your heart and soul, and is worth every bit of pain and sacrifice.

I had that with your mother, even if I didn't realize it at the time. She saw right through me, saw the man behind the driver, and loved me for who I was. I'd hope you'd find someone like that, someone who understands and loves you unconditionally.

It might hurt sometimes, but that's how you know it's real. Love isn't always easy, but it's the most beautiful thing.

I would want you to know that it's okay to make mistakes though. I made plenty, and each one taught me something valuable. The key is to learn from them, to grow and become a better person. But each moment, whether good or bad, shapes who you are.

I wish I could have been there to guide you through it all, to help you navigate the challenges and celebrate the victories. My motto has been “Still I Rise” for the longest time and if you wanted it could’ve been yours as well.

Life isn't about being perfect; it's about being true to yourself and striving to be the best version of you.

In the quieter moments I still dream about you, you know. In my dreams, you're a whirlwind of energy, your laughter filling the air. We go on adventures, explore the world together. I teach you what I know, and you teach me about everything else.

Those dreams are my sanctuary, a place where we can be together, even if just for a moment.

Sometimes, I catch myself talking to you out loud, as if you were right beside me. I tell you about my day, about the races, about the world. It might sound silly, but it brings me comfort. It's my way of keeping you close, of making sure you're never forgotten.

Even though we never got to meet, you are a part of me, and I carry you in my heart every day.

You are my greatest loss, but also my greatest gift. You've taught me more about love than anything else in this world.

Sometimes, under a sky full of stars, I imagine you up there with the constellations, looking down at me with curious eyes. And I need you to know that we love you still, deeply and unconditionally.

Ten years old. A whole person with your own personality, dreams, and wishes.

The world missed out on knowing you, and so did I.

But your memory, my precious child, it lives on. It lives on in the way I cherish every moment, every sunrise, every laugh shared with a friend. It lives on in the way I try to be a better person, kinder, someone who would have been a good dad to you.

This letter is my vow written down. A promise that even though you're not here, you'll never be forgotten.

Happy birthday, my sweet child. I hope, wherever you are, you're smiling, knowing that you are loved and cherished.

You are my light, my angel and a part of me. And though the path I walk may be lonely sometimes, I carry you and your mom with me in my heart, always.

With all the love that would have filled a lifetime.

Dad.

______________________________________________________________

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[strawnarrries]

because im sad about the last show, here's a little imagine about y/n and harry reminiscing the past two years the night before the last show :(

warnings: mentions of sex but nothing graphic

Your eyes fluttered open and you realized it was still dark outside, a sign that it was not quite morning just yet. You're not sure why you woke up. It was like your body knew something was off because when you turned over, the bed was empty beside you.

Rubbing your eyes to clear the sleepy haze, you noticed light coming from under the closed door of the bedroom in the villa you and Harry are staying in. Getting up out of bed, you opened the door and the sudden change in lighting burned your eyes. After getting used to it, you walked towards the kitchen and spotted your husband, leaning up against the counter, sipping on something inside of a mug.

“Harry?” you hummed, walking up to him.

“Oh hey, did I wake you up? I’m sorry," he looked up at you with doe eyes and messy hair sticking up in every direction.

“What are you doing?”

“Can’t sleep.”

You popped your bottom lip out and wrapped your arms around his bare waist, his instinctively wrapping around yours after setting his mug on the counter, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just can't believe the last show's tomorrow night.”

“Aw, I know. You wanna talk about it?” you hummed, looking up at him with tired eyes.

"I'm gonna miss it. A lot," he whispered, "but at the same time I'm excited for a long break."

"It's bittersweet."

"Yeah," he nodded.

"It's gonna be weird not getting to watch you on stage every night in your sparkly outfits."

He chuckled softly, "You don't get those outfits at home, do ya?"

"No, I get you either naked or in the one stupid shirt that you refuse to throw away even though it's practically in shreds."

"Thought you loved that shirt?" he teased.

You glared up at him before changing the subject, "What'dya think you'll miss the most? Just being on stage?"

"Yeah. Performing. It's one of my favorite things in the world to do. I just get such a rush from being out there and interacting with the fans and hearing them scream my lyrics."

"And hearing them bark at you," you added.

He giggled, "Yes, that too."

"You'll be back though. It's not the end."

“You're right. I feel like this tour was just special for some reason, I dunno. I fear I’m gonna get really emotional tomorrow on stage though. I was holding back tears at the show the other night," he chuckled.

“It’s okay to get emotional. You know me and your mom will be sobbing the entire night."

He smiled softly as he cupped your jaw and rubbed his thumb back and forth across your cheek, "I've been reflecting a lot recently. So much has happened in the last two years. It's wild."

“You've done, like what, 150 shows?”

“169 tomorrow."

“Holy shit, Harry. Most of them were completely sold out too. Do you realize how incredible that is?”

“It's mad. I think this has been the most successful tour I’ve ever been on.”

“Oh, by far.”

“Gonna miss seeing everyone every day. Gonna miss the fans and being up on stage. I've had some of the best shows of my life on this tour.”

“Harryween,” you giggled fondly at the memory that popped into your head.

“That was fun as fuck,” he giggled back.

“You’ve done more than just tour though. So many award shows, Coachella, music videos, you starred in two different movies, Harry.”

“I have,” he nodded, smiling proudly at himself, "Looking back, the amount of love and support that I've gotten from everyone, the fans, my team, my friends, and family, and from you is just - it's - it's so overwhelming like I can't even explain it to you. Like my mind can't comprehend that this is my life. Been 13 years and I still can't believe it."

"'cause you deserve it, baby. With the amount of love you give out and just the type of person you are in general, you deserve everything that's come your way. Have I ever told you how proud of you I am?" you teased, being the fact that those words leave your lips multiple times after every single one of his accomplishments.

"Never. Not once," he chuckled.

“Well, I am,” you hummed pressing a sweet kiss to his sternum, just under where his cross necklace lay, "It makes me feel so prideful that I get to call you my husband."

“Thank you, my love. You know I wouldn't be here without you.”

You rested your head on his warm chest, hugging him tighter, embracing the sweet silence before breaking it, "Can I be honest with you?”

He nodded as you looked back up at him.

“I know it's selfish but a big part of me is excited that it’s over because then I get you all to myself and don’t have to share you with the world.”

“Finally don’t have to hear you nagging for my attention all the time,” he chuckled.

“Heyyyyyy,” you whined.

“I’m joking, baby.”

You rolled your eyes teasingly.

“We have a lot to look forward to.”

“Like what?” he asked, although he knew exactly what you were referencing to, he just wanted to hear you say it.

“You becoming a daddy.”

“Really lookin forward to that. I can’t wait ‘till you have a cute little baby bump.”

“Gotta get me pregnant first.”

"You don't gotta worry 'bout that. We’re gonna be goin' at it all day every day when we’re on holiday next month,” he smirked.

“I can't even explain to you how excited I am for that. Vacation Harry is my favorite Harry."

He grinned, “I love you, Y/N."

“I love you too.”

He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours for a few sweet kisses before you hummed sleepily, “Will you come back to bed with me now?”

“Yeah, c’mon.”

[moonspirit]

Jealous aruani are fun and all, but...what if it's their friend that's the reason for the jealousy??? No love triangles.

Annie suddenly feels a twinge of irritation when she sees Pieck say something to Armin and they laugh together. Or maybe Armin overhears gossip about how Annie Leonhart and Connie Springer look so cute together. The next time he sees Connie, his stomach twists. And it's terrible!

Considering how Armin and Annie both have self-esteem issues...well, I can see how that could happen. Irritation, doubt, jealousy, and self-loathing for feeling that way about a friend. it's just painful, stupid and awkward. I have no idea how they will solve this😗

Hello jealousy anon! As promised, and thank you for the ask, it made me laugh xD

Because of-fucking-course there's nobody more capable of causing problems for Aruani off more than their very own family xD If you ask me, outsiders don't have the type of talent the other four have in creating misunderstandings and unnecessary chaos xD Plot-required-3rd-party-love-interest who? Move over, here's Connie the Springer man!

At first it's all quite unintentional. Connie spends time with Annie because Circumstances and Coincidence and hardly notices Armin's watery puppy eyes gazing at him from a depressing corner. It's not like Armin ever says anything out loud either because of course, he's happy! He's happy Annie has a silly friend that makes her laugh and forget that she's awkward and possibly frightening around people. He's glad Connie comes prepackaged with a whole lot of shitty jokes that happen to tickle her. He's really fucking glad Connie treats Annie like he treats everyone else!

But. Connie can also... dance. Really well. Like the guy's got those moves and can easily take Annie for a nice spin. He also... makes her laugh, like... a lot? A lot lot? Hm.. has Annie ever laughed like that with me? Uh... yeah, nevermind that, um- oh god, Connie's been looking pretty nice lately in those suits and he's rather good with the whole easy-fashion thing and uh- well shit, it's Connie, he's my friend, he's not- no, I mean, that photo in the newspapers was just an accidental shot, of course Annie was just laughing at his bad joke but well... she did look really happy with him and, oh shit--

Man.

Pieck on the other hand, doesn't fuck with people more than necessary. I don't actually see her getting *too* close with Armin but they do become very good friends! They have a lot in common, (for example music) and vibrate on the same atomic level of "yeah this is wrong and backhanded and probably will get us arrested in 18 countries but lets do it hehe". Hc that they probably get off to a slightly rocky start as Pieck doesn't put much faith in Armin's "naivete" and harbours resentment for his blowing up of Liberio's port, but as time goes by, they grow closer!

Maybe... too much closer for someone's liking 💀

Because okay? Annie gets it, she finds politics too boring and her takes end up being too cynical and skeptical in the room. Technically, she's glad Armin has someone in Pieck who will humour his ideas with a generous (but nice) dash of realism. Also, they enjoy picking out records together and she often finds them nodding their heads to a new tune once home.

She's glad, okay?

She is, she really is-

*sound of a thigh being stabbed followed by sounds of Reiner screaming*

Pieck is a cheerful girl tho 🥲

On a serious note, both Aruani are going to feel like total crap about this jealousy tho. Because as you said, it's their friends, their literal family who they share a lot of time and space with, and if anything could be clear it's that none of them want to see Aruani unhappy. So its not real, it's not anything to worry about, it's all just in their heads-

And yet.

Tbh the extra funny bit about this is gonna be when Connie and Pieck realize what they're doing to their poor lemonheads xD

"What! We're making you jealous?! wHAaT?? ... Hell YEAH, LET'S TURN IT UP!"

🥲🥲🥲🥲

I mean what else did you expect lol, Pieck and Connie are that duo who are going to derive more entertainment from their very own organic, homegrown family-drama than the moving pictures being shown in the town-square.

Suddenly it's all: "HEHE Armin, I bought Annie CAKES, see? FIVE Cakes! FiVE delICIOUS cakes and *I* am going to give it to her! Me!"

and: "Annniieeeeeeee~~ Oh no, why the long face this morning? Btw did you know Armin wants kids? Like a lot of kids? He told me- oh, he didn't tell you? Hehe I thought you'd be the first to know hehehehehe"

Their approaches to fanning this dumpster fire are different 😌

Their solution when things get too Sad?? Lock Aruani up in a room. Always ends well.

[secretarysong]

so much Mayday stuff (& a smidgeon of Vinyl City worldbuilding) in my head. ooouugghh. wrote this at 12am last night and i'm not the best at articulating my thoughts so forgive me as this wooonnt be the most polished. this is likee a mini conglomeration of personal headcanons and a bit of analysis (reading too far into things) ... i just wanna talk about her REEEAALLL BAAADDDD

i've always thought of Mayday as someone so deeply intertwined with Vinyl City (specifically the working-class & lower-class areas; the 'little guys') that her dream of becoming a big famous rockstar also stems from a desire for agency/power. power to be able to do SOMETHING in the name of her communities after personally living through, like, 2 decades of neglect—condemned by NSR to live in the shadow of the more tourist-oriented/commercial/profitable parts of the city—even if it means rising to charterhood under the same stupid record label that's the source of all her problems in the first place ...

i also like to believe this, in tandem with her rumbustious nature, is why Mayday IMMEDIATELY switches to aggression (dare i call it a TV meltdown...?) following her & Zuke's flames being so harshly snuffed out during the Lights Up Audition.

Mayday was probably warned beforehand by the adults around her about the EDM bias. i think she ignored/dismissed every warning/dissuasion because she believed in herself and her ability and her principles too unshakably for her own good. and then for the judges (particularly Tatiana) to unanimously strike her dream down like that, thus proving their warnings right & her hard work (and ignorance) in vain... FURY!!!! (Mayday is NOT the best at taking losses with grace)

and then the banning of Rock from the Lights Up Audition happens. and then the subsequent blackout and diversion of energy happens. and seeing the extent of what happens across the city with her own eyes from atop the ledge (after being limited to her own ground-level experiences on the outside, looking inward) is what finally tips her over the edge and into the vat of a full-blown revolution.

semi-related, but i also view Mayday's hatred towards EDM as. like. a general prejudice. it goes a bit deeper than just Not liking the sound/style; she associates it with NSR, and therefore links it with everything wrong with Vinyl City. rock music, a dying art in the era being upheld by her tightly-knit community, untouched by NSR, to her is authenticity.

she also loathes the "Order leads to progress in Vinyl City." slogan because, to her, order means complacency... and complacency has done shit all for anyone she knows. ("If chaos is what is needed to get things done around here, so be it!")

i know i'm kind of bouncing back to the second paragraph but. like. there's just something so dear to me about the idea of a Mayday whose a roving city girl from off the streets... armed with her guitar, her passion, and her support system, doing everything she can to prevent rock—her home—from becoming irrelevant. always chasing a fantasy about being something bigger than herself. even if the odds are stacked against her. even if Mayday's own impetuosity is a double-edged sword that impedes her just as much as it enables her.

to me she's. like. a melting pot of ambition and stubbornness and righteousness and naievite. Mayday girl i love you SOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOO MUCH ideally i would put this all into a legitimate form of writing like a backstory fic or something but gah i don't even know where to START

[goodluckclove]

A Meandering Ramble on AI Art Because I Have a Cold and I'm here to Hopefully Not Start an Argument.

Okay, so I had someone comment on some post I made about writing advice that causes shame, and they decided to add the clarification that my words didn't apply to people who use AI in their writing. I responded, mainly saying that I saw their point, but that I'd say shaming someone who uses AI in any fashion is far more likely to just get that person to double down. They seemed annoyed by me saying this for a variety of reasons. I blocked them because if someone says "it's not my job to educate" it's rarely an earned perspective and it only reminds me how it's not my job to have a conversation with them.

It is my job to make too-long essays about things to help me process thoughts in a way other people might find interesting. So for your consideration I have a sort of wandering, cough-syrup addled Think Piece about AI art that is not pro-GenAI, but also doesn't just say fuck AI and fuck anyone who uses it because that is also wrong. I have a ton of links that I'm hoping are right, as well as a ton of outsider/folk artists, as well as a few AI artists I think are great.

Also there's a drawing of Link I did. He's nude. There's no dick but it's still very bad. He's either about to eat trash off the ground or he's screaming at a bit of hot dog.

Enjoy???

I mean I get it. I'm also easily aggravated by the type of person who is staunchly, aggressively defensive over Generative AI tools. They might be the kind to talk about the "democratization of art" and how genAI means anyone can be an artist. This line of thinking makes me very angry - not because I don't think anyone can be an artist, but because the fact that so many have been sold on needing some Big Tech start up to make that happen is infuriating. Anyone can already be an artist.

Anyone can be an artist. Anyone. Anyone can be an artist! This has been a case for a long, long time.

I get the sort of novelty of image and text generators. I'll go ahead and say what other writers might be unwilling to admit - if there was a provably ethical LLM I would absolutely love to collaborate on it for a project. The ethics of a lot of genAI is debatable - truly coasting on legal gray areas and hidden opt-out buttons - but it's enough that I'm not into it. Even without the practices of OpenAI, a company where every headline I see around it makes them sound comically sketchy. A lot of the reasons why I wouldn't collaborate with an LLM as they are now are the same things that would keep me from collaborating with another human writer (Maybe stealing, almost certainly wrong about potentially important things, loved by Elon Musk, ect.).

But I don't see myself ever using a genAI to do the entirety of any of the writing process for me - because I enjoy writing. I've been doing it for a long time now. I am objectively skilled enough that a select populous of people are willing to pay me for it on purpose, and since I find it fun and fulfilling I have yet to found a form of even minor automation that appeals to me.

But I also draw and paint, and I am far less skilled at that than I am at writing. I could certainly tweak at various Midjourney prompts to create something visually cool, but if I did that I'd be robbing myself the joy that came from trying to draw Link from Legend of Zelda from memory (he's either eating trash or lamenting his fallen lunch, I can't decide).

My wife saw this and their first note was that he "looks like the Grinch". Their second note was that his ass should be bigger. They also drew the fart cloud. Collaboration. This was the hardest I've laughed all day.

If you're a person who uses AI to help in art, or to do the entirety of image/writing/music creation - at this point you have to know the arguments against it. GenAI uses energy for each output - more for images than text, probably even more for videos. But so do tons of other things.

I did my best to research and calculate, and it seems like every 100 outputs of genAI images uses roughly .29 kWh, which is the rough equivalent of three hours of streaming video, running a Dyson vacuum cleaner for an hour, or using an average microwave for 10 minutes straight. It also uses water to cool the servers, right? A lot of water during a time of looming water scarcity across the globe. It's pretty likely that the water is being reused through a closed-loop system, meaning the 16 ounces that are spent for every 5-50 queries on ChatGPT aren't likely to go to waste. But with the exponential spike of data centers being built - some in parts of the country that require far more water to stay cool - that's still a pretty big water footprint. It does good, useful things for society and it's also used for crimes. This is true for most technology. But it seems, from what I've seen, that the parts of AI that are the most accessible to the public at large (GenAI mainly, run by a select major companies) are the ones most likely to be used for questionable purposes right around now.

But in all honesty I don't imagine a majority of people using genAI are using it for crime, or even deepfaked nudes. It's happening, but I imagine that's a loud minority. I don't even think most people using it to tout about being artists. I imagine most people just find it novel, or an accessible way to get into a craft that otherwise feels unavailable for them for whatever reason.

For a lot of people with no experience in forming any sort of creative practice, the concept of a machine that can fairly effectively mimic the styles of existing artists without their consent might come across as inconsequential. It might even get harder to find that understanding as you get deeper and deeper in the practice of genAI art - which, as far as I understand it, removes the creator entirely from developing an individual style.

When I say style in this point, I don't mean a completely original perspective free of any outside influence. I mean a combination of background, influence, and medium used that allows someone to recognize you in your work without you needing to say you made it. I know my writing is not entirely original. I can happily list what I've been influenced by. At the same time, I've heard a lot that people can tell my writing just on paper without my name attached at all. I believe there are ways to train a genAI to create an effect similar to this, but I'm also certain that it would require a technological influence that most people using the main programs out there don't have.

Because there's good AI Art. I'm not afraid to say it. There's AI art that I find super interesting and would pay money to see. Anna Ridler created a piece called "Mosaic Virus" that uses machine learning to generate a morphing video of tulips blooming that changes based on the market value of bitcoin. She created her own dataset. This rules and I love it. 1 the Road is an AI-written novel composed across a massive real-world road-trip by Ross Goodwin, a creative technologist. I won't call him a novelist - but neither would he. He did strap a surveillance camera on the car he drove, rigged it with a microphone and GPS, and put a shit ton of effort into something I will say sounds abstract and pretty rad.

The AI artists I think that don't really struggle to sell and exhibit and overall collect accolades for their work, from what I've seen, tend to be people who put a ton of effort into the structure of the AI itself. The artists who create from existing programs are limited by what that program is trained off of, unless they alter or edit their work after the fact.

And I know people who do the latter. My own view on how valid of a choice that is depends on the intent of the work, the meaning behind having the foundation be generated, and how you choose to credit it once it's done. In a lot of cases I just sort of tend to wonder why people think they need the machine to start at all.

I get it's hard to start making an individual piece. It's even harder to start making art at all, especially if you were taught to think somehow that you aren't a "naturally creative person". If that's you then I'm sorry, because that means you somehow internalized a pretty terrible lie.

We're a creative species. Just because it doesn't fit within the deeply narrow spectrum of Marketable, Blockbuster, Bestseller Creativity, doesn't mean it isn't worthwhile.

You can only draw stick figures? Great maybe you should give one of them a hat and then he'll be a Hat Guy. You can't even draw a straight line? Sick, sounds like these are going to be some Wiggly Stick Figures and at least one of them will have a hat. That rules.

You don't know what to write? What if a guy bought a new hat? What if the hat was cursed? What if the guy was Naruto? I don't know man I've taken a lot of cough syrup today and most of my suggestions are hat-based, I'm finding.

People might give you shit. They might give "constructive criticism" - a phrase I learned quickly that people online use very loosely. And that can be scary and discouraging. I'm not going to try and say you should do it anyway because it's the Ethically Right thing to do because I have seen the way some people treat newer artists and it made me so fucking grateful I didn't share really anything I did online until I was pretty settled in my own personal vibe.

But if you use genAI because you think it does something you can't otherwise do - you can do things too. And it might be worth trying sometimes, even if you never share it. You might think it's bad - but if you don't treat that like a failure of your character it doesn't feel as important.

Might I offer as example - my son, Fart Ass Trash Link?

My child. My legacy. My wife insisted that sometimes Link would go fully nude. I understand now that they were fucking with me.

[randomalistic]

my favorite moment in Tarzan (1999) was when he said this line... (sniff) his delivery in that scene was incredible....

SOLID MOVIE honestly, with a few really exceptional moments and jaw dropping animation. (tumblr cant handle this gif so here's a still image of said animation.)

THE CONTINUOUS MOVING SHOTS WHERE HE SLIDES THROUGH THE TREES ARE PHENOMENAL TO MY EYES. It also has a very strong musical identity, although it peaks in the first 20-30 minutes. The plot is sort of predictable and generic after that, which isn't a BAD THING... It just goes from like. A tier to B tier. (this is the only rating system my brain understands anymore.) But yeah! It's a decent movie all around.👍

but omfg the scenes of Tarzan with his adoptive mother Kala (who already lost her own son...) made me cry on two separate occasions. I was getting disability allegory vibes from it, like "people may treat you differently, and you may feel like something is wrong with you, but you are alive just like me and you will always be worthy of my unconditional love." i just need a second ok

(this scene can't be summed up in pictures) Part of me wishes this movie put more focus on her in the later half because she was easily the strongest character, but it wanted to do the Jane romance thing. (But i will say the scene where they touched hands had great parallels to this moment with his mother)

This scene was also exceptional (this is where i cried the second time.) Although Kala obviously should've told Tarzan he was human much sooner, I don't think she could bring herself to because she was afraid of losing another son. She is genuinely such an interesting character with so much inner conflict, probably equal to/if not more than Tarzan himself. I wish they spent a little more time on her struggles along with his.

Full picture it's reminiscent of the jungle book in a way, except this movie chose the route of "The Wild Boy Stay In the Junjle AND THIS TIME THE LOVE INTEREST STAYS WIRTH HIM because THE APE LIFE CHOSE HER and shes also a bit freaky like that" My favorite part was when there was birds.

It was also fun to see Clayton's gruesome death in full outside of Top 10 Darkest Disney Villain Death compilations by WatchMojo. I love how he brought it upon himself... which is often the pattern with these but damn it does not get old. It being just his shadow is not only clever censorship but it makes it all the more chilling. Reminds me of that Luigi's Mansion glitch everyone freaked out about lol

anyeays yeah goofy best friend with a boston accent and silly elephant had a bit more screentime than I was Desiring but a disney movie's gotta have its comedic relief I GUES. although i did like them a little. JUST LESS COMPELLING.

[sophaeros]

i just HAVE to talk to someone about this but what do we think about the song scared….? do you think it’s about julian? or maybe albert wrote it about himself?? either way, the way you hear julian’s voice towards the end make me go insane!

I FUCKING LOVEEEE SCARED IT'S SO GOOD IT DRIVES ME INSANE i always read it as directed towards julian but directed to himself is CRAZY.

You know that something inside of you Still plays a part in what I do Always, I'm here for you

this always reminds me of this les inrockuptibles 2020 quote

"I'll tell you something," says Fab. "When I played the first Machinegum stuff to Nick (Valensi - editor's note), he put his finger on something. He said, 'I'll never be able to listen to your music, or the music of any of us, without thinking about how I could have influenced it.'"

which makes me SICK to my STOMACH. and then this verse

I think that if we were all we had That's more than most people ever have Anyway, oh anyway, you can stay here

makes me think of this 2023 albert interview with the guardian

“Yeah, I knew very quickly,” he says. “There was something very special about all of us together, even early on. The universe moved when we were all together in a certain way. Like a Rubik’s Cube that gets unlocked. You either find it or you don’t. I always felt that was unique.”

LIKE. ok i said i read it as directed to julian but i think it could also be kinda wrapped up in the band too which makes sense bc to me their relationship is always gonna be intertwined w that of the band. if that makes sense.

anyway lyrically this song destroys me like what the fuck is "so close we played it as if we cared" LIKE WHY WOULD YOU SAY THATTTTTTT IM GONNA FALL TO MY KNEES......i wish we had official lyrics for julian's lines at the end (he sounds soo fucking gorgeous btw so sad hes so buried in the mix) it sounds to me like "don't push me away / [they'll/don't] get it wrong" (less sure about that second line) which is AGONISING. WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THIS.

also can i just say im so in love w the chorus and ending kicking in. so ethereal and perfect

ok ANYWAY tinhatting time. honestly it's soo hard to piece together any kind of timeline or characterisation of their rs bc theyre not really as blatant about it as some other rpf ships..not counting one way trigger. also im not smart enough to have a concrete analysis of this song. i kinda read it as like, something something the strokes staying together and not branching out despite them clearly being really dysfunctional?? like being afraid to break whatever kind of shaky balance they'd managed to find. and the song is kind of a love letter to them in light of that. but also this is a very shaky interpretation ok idk what im talking about

albert was the first to do solo stuff outside of the strokes and they urhh well theyve been supportive of one another's side projects but at the beginning.......rock & folk april 2011 ->

Nick: "We never made this much money as for the FIOE tour. When we were recording, Albert tried to make us listen to some of his solo project. I think he was disappointed by our reaction and he never talked about it again. Nikolai kept his secret. For Little Joy, I was with Fab in LA when they were writing and recording the album. I played the drums for them.”

theres a lot of push and pull in this song..you can also narrow your focus from the strokes generally to just albert and julian (bc tbh a lot of strokes/adjacent songs can be read both ways and in fact i think a lot of the time theyre best read as being about both the band and albert/julian's relationship simultaneously)

IDK this post is so long but idk if im saying anything. it kinda reads like a very tender song to an ex lover. something like no matter the status of our relationship you still have me and i still love you. i want you to stay close to me no matter what. i want you to realise you could be so much more than what you are now. yknow.

[earlgreytea68]

I 100% am every bit as confused as you, about SMFS getting snubbed for the Grammys this year.

Personal opinions aside, it's their highest rated album to date, if Metacritic is anything to go by. They do just as much experimentation on this album as they did on Mania, while still sounding very THEM, which is an insane tightrope to walk. You'd think SMFS would be a shoo-in, if any album was, and I just don't get why it wasn't even nominated.

Did they really think that recognizing both Paramore AND FOB at the same time would cause the world to implode, because that would mean they think "emo" music is actually a respectable genre full of talented people?

I just, have so many questions...

I have a couple of theories. One is that people just weren't paying attention. The Lana Del Rey comment I posted was because that album did get massive Grammy love and came out on the very same day as SMFS so it was easy for SMFS to get totally lost underneath that. I remember Spotify sending me emails on that day urging me to listen to the new Lana Del Rey album, an artist i'd listened to a grand total of like sixteen times over the years lol and I never got a single email about SMFS being released. Which could have been because I already had it on repeat but I suspect it was because there was money being paid to promote the Lana Del rey album and I further suspect there was much less money behind SMFS promotionally.

The second theory is kind of connected to the first though in that I suspect being technically out of contract hurts them in this kind of promotional place like awards shows. As I understand their situation from the outside, it seems like this was a one record deal, not a long-term contract. I think that's exactly what they wanted and they're happy with it -- they have seemed and sound delighted with the freedom -- but I think it leaves them a little out in the cold around awards shows like the Grammys, which I suspect require a record label push.

I've made all of this up hahahah. It might all be wrong. But you're right that the album got strong reviews so I suspect it just got lost. And mania didn't because it was still on a long term contract and also had a number one debut (SMFS opened at number six and so didn't make as big of a splash for them). I remember watching a YouTube review of it at some point by some random guy, who even knows who it was, but he said something like "this album is really good and really interesting, I just don't know how many people are still paying attention to fall out boy." I feel like they needed a huge mainstream promotional push to get over that and they didn't get it.

But I also do not want to throw the record label under the bus because I'm also not entirely sure they care. And I mean that in all honesty. The lyric about "I must be getting old 'cuz I'm less pissed we didn't make it on your year-end best list" is a true one, I suspect. Like sure, they would love glory, who doesn't hahaha. But they made exactly the album they wanted and I think it was already bigger than they expected so it's all gravy. They didn't NEED the push -- and probably didn't ask for one -- because the fans turned out even more than I think they expected, and they were touched and delighted and I really think it's all cool.

And the album is still fantastic, of course.

(I always kind of suspected the mania nomination wasn't actually for mania anyway but just a general acknowledgement of fob still being around. That's how awards shows can be.)

[an-au-blog]

People often talk about the main or relevant characters in Horrid Henry.. but I don't think people realize just how interesting some other characters are.

Gurinder, Nicola, Soraya, Linda, and Susan, all members of the secret club, are overshadowed by Margaret. But there's so much to them

We know nothing about Soraya's dad, just her mom, and according to the books, it seems their relationship is up for interpretation, but it does seem like her mom supports her, and she has a bunny rabbit that we see twice in the show, the way she gently holds it and so close to her body might just be me but it seems she's very loving and caring towards it. We see she's one of if not the nicest girl in the secret club, while there's not much to explore, her special interest for music and singing is something I feel can be explored, call me crazy but she also seems autistic coded to me ( as an autistic person )

Nicola strays from the norms of the show, both in terms of mannerisms, gender, accent, and relationships, they're not exactly anyone's friend, they like messing with people and watching the world burn seemingly just for the fuck of it. Whether they're just an ass or have reasons for it, it would still be nice to see more of them.

Linda, in the books, is confirmed to have a SHIT sleep schedule because of her parents, making her sleep at the wrong time, but yet even when asleep, according to that Mastermind episode, she's still conscious of her surroundings in some way and is still able to learn, and even as seen in another episode, she can work well while drowsy, even at her age. So we have her parents and her insane intelligence and skill to explore.

And oh

Gurinder and Susan.. I'll save the most complex for last.

Susan, Margaret's little puppet, het shadow, her magnet, we almost never see Susan alone or away from Margaret, she does whatever Margaret does and just copies her sometimes. We see she's nicer, more apologetic, considerate, and isn't just some broken record, but she lets Margaret take lead and do whatever she says. We don't see her have any other friends, we don't see her talking much to others at all, and Margaret doesn't exactly seem to care, in the red roof hang episode she seems to notice how Susan goes unnoticed but doesn't really care, she gets pissy with Susan over small mistakes and slip ups.. and she just takes it

Now. Remember when Susan said that her mom got her to change her little sister's diapers all the time ? And now her littlr sister is vicious ?

The way she responds to and follows Margaret, the way her little sister acts, and that line about diaper changing alone could say a lot about her life.

Gurinder

Where are your parents.

We've got confirmation of the others' parents existing minus Nicola. What about you ?

You've mentioned your mother twice, we've never seen her. You never mention a father figure.

And if the wiki is correct, how are there so many siblings in your family ?

We've seen Gurinder at that Happiest Family contest, and alone

When the official Twitter account talks about parents, we never hear about Gurinder's family. Is it possible Gurinder's parents are gone ?

We rarely hear him talk about his family in general outside of a mention of his little sister.

And he seems very obsessed with his appearance, likely more than Margaret, even the smallest thing like a needle can make him worry, he's very nervous about it, but why is that ? What makes him seem so obsessed and nervous ? Almost everything revolving around his character relates to beauty and we don't go much into it.

And what sparked the implied friendship between him and Henry ? Out of everyone in the secret club, he seems most comfortable with Gurinder

And will we ever talk about his transmasc coding ?????

There's so much unanswered about the other club members

Perhaps an AU can exist where we have a spinoff of watching the other characters like the other 5 SC members to get more lore on them

Aaaaa! I love overanalysing bg characters!

About Vicky, I was actually so surprised that she's Susan's sister. It's very interesting to me because they seem so different and not even as in a "sisters who act and like different things"... but maybe I'm looking way too much into it. I feel like their family situation is interesting and I'm assuming that the kids kind of self-parent and maybe that's why Susan is so easy to latch onto Margaret, because she doesn't have to be the one making the decisions or taking care of things. (Even though she's kind of used as a secretary anyway... though that would still mean she's not completely in charge because she doesn't take the executive decisions and I'm not a big sister but I've been in a position where I have to decide everything and take charge and it's really tiring sometimes...)

Nicola is very interesting because, yes, they are an agent of chaos and don't really fit in either of the two clubs/gangs. But what stunned me was that in the first episode, when she was asked who she wanted as a "guide", they chose Henry because (in my opinion) she thought he would be an easy mark. It was kind of evident that the teacher wasn't very fond of him from the start, so blaming him would be easy? She didn't expect so many people to back her up. And they wouldn't have! If it weren't for the oddly fitting circumstances that gave him the perfect alibi. It's mind-boggling how well she deduced that situation and later on, she keeps reminding the audience how observant she is and how well they can strategies (especially for a kid this age). She's kind of the best type of antagonist - always in the shadows and lurking I love Nicola so much!

Idk about Gurinder's gender, but I love that both the Secret Club and the Purple Hand gang have a member that is on good terms with the "other side". (I'm talking about Brainy Brian.)

Here's one of the boys I love seeing: Brainy Brian is also really interesting to me because, in all 7-to-10-year-old logic, he shouldn't really be considered as cool as he is. And yes, I'm getting into stereotypes here, he asks a lot of questions in class, and as far as I remember he also reminded the teacher about homework/tests, but he's also well-loved and treated as an equal. And I get that it's (again) strongly stereotypical, but I love seeing him do all his smart shenanigan stuff and the rest of them getting all invested in it (like in that one ep where they made a machine to pass on a message for Henry).

[yujeong]

(My) Top 5 VegasPete scenes

Listen. Listen. I'm surely not being original here. I'm certain this post has been made before, especially closer to the show airing, but I wasn't here then, and the spoons for such a post came right now, so I'm doing it now. Now, a warning: my choices will make you question my sanity. They will make you wonder wtf is wrong with me for *not* including specific scenes. They will make you question my VP taste in general. I know, I do too all the time, but the thing is, I have *reasons* for every single one being here and I will thoroughly explain, and if you're still baffled, I get it, I am too, but the brainrot works in mysterious ways. So, let's go (very long post incoming):

No5: The pool scene - Episode 14

LOOK, I COULDN'T NOT INCLUDE THIS SCENE OK? I'M NOT THAT STUPID (Pls don't kill me for not putting it higher, I know, it's a crime, I know-). Fun fact: I had seen a screenshot of the point in which Pete says he's hungry, before watching the VP arc, and I deadass thought it was fan subtitles, like a joke, a meme, SOMETHING other than what he ACTUALLY said. It was very funny when I found out the truth. God, this scene is heart-wrenching for all the right reasons. It had everything I could ever ask for and more I didn't even know I needed. I think my No1 reason for loving this scene so much is Pete's desperation to save Vegas and all the ways he showed it. To explain, we have: - him coming to find Vegas after resigning from the main family to be with him, - him being physically intimate for the very first time to such a degree (he fucking hugged Vegas from behind, I lost my marbles when I saw it), - him trying so fucking hard to say "I love you" without saying it, because he can't, it's not sth he can say, but holy fuck will he show in SOME way, - him saying he's Vegas' pet while dying a bit inside but it's necessary goddammit, Vegas won't get it otherwise, he won't understand that Pete *needs* him, - him killing the guy who shot Vegas without hesitation. I wholeheartedly believe he'd kill whoever that person was, even Korn himself, and I love it. ALSO, can we talk about the fact that the scene was dead silent, no music, nothing during their talk, then when hope is on the horizon a soft melody plays and then BOOM, Ink comes just as Vegas gets shot and you feel like YOU got shot along with him. I love the title of the piece, and I love how it gives me goosebumps every single time I hear it, and I love how *tragic* it is, because what we're witnessing is a tragedy, and would remain a tragedy if the hospital scene didn't exist. 10/10 writing, I can't believe this scene is real, I can't believe how lucky we are to have witnessed such a moment.

No4: Vegas hits Pete with the belt + tasers him when he escapes + finds him unconscious later - Episode 11

I am aware that I'm cheating with the last scene but I love it a little too much and it's the continuation of the previous one so I'll add it in. Ok, firstly, I had to include the scene which inspired me to write my first ever meta post in here, guys, it was essential. Furthermore, one thing you should know about me is that I love - what I like to call - "pre-VP VP", meaning VP interactions up to ep 11 (which is my favorite episode, you'll figure out why as we move through the list). It had everything; it had Pete refusing to eat, throwing his philosophy at Vegas' face, it had Vegas lashing out at Pete in a way he didn't even enjoy (he started shouting as he was hitting him to convince himself he was enjoying this but he wasn't, I'm biting my FIST here), we had Pete using the belt to escape, only for Vegas, the fucking SLUT with the loose shirt showing off his TITS, to follow him outside, we had the tasing and the catching and the soft handling of Pete's body as he fell (he totally carried him back bridal style), we had Vegas believing Pete would laugh at him for what his father did (oh Vegas you moron, he would never laugh at you, if only you saw his face when Gun slapped you), we had Vegas freaking the fuck out at a non-responsive Pete, we had it all folks. I've watched these scenes more times than I can count, they're fucking glorious. And the music too, oh God the music. You'll see me scream about the music a lot here, because it's one of the deciding factors in my preferences, so I have to mention it, just as I did for No5. Unfortunately, Shazam hasn't helped me find the first two pieces used in the scene (when Pete is hit with the belt and when he uses it to escape) but I know of the other two, which are Lost Register and Walking the Distance, which are such perfect titles for Vegas, aren't they? I don't have any intelligent things to say about these scenes, I just love them so fucking much, even though Vegas hitting Pete with the belt makes me flinch, even though Pete gets the worst treatment here (minus the ball roasting I guess), I love them so much, because it's the limit that Vegas surpasses, and the realization he did so was incredibly enjoyable to watch.

No3: Vegas tortures Pete - Episodes 10-11

Yes, I did cheat again but technically the two scenes happen back to back on the same day (it's not the same day, Vegas is wearing a different shirt, but we'll pretend it is okay?) and yes, I did put only Pete screenshots here, look at my name, what do you want from me? When I said I have a deep fascination with "pre-VP VP", this is what I mean people. These two scenes solidified my obsession with this specific dynamic of theirs. Pete was so fucking unhinged and it was the most beautiful thing I have laid my eyes upon. There are too many things to mention, I adore them so much. We have Pete not speaking a single line of dialogue during the scene in ep 10, we have ep 11 and Vegas changing his approach, touching Pete in a sexual way which unnerves Pete but he's still not lost complete control, we have Gun hitting Vegas in front of Pete, with Pete putting the pieces together, we have the fucking phone call to his grandma, which is the thing that makes Pete give up and it's wonderful, because after that we have Pete screaming - I love his screams, I've listened to them on repeat, I have issues - and trembling with pure rage as Vegas toys with him. I've watched these two scenes, both for fic purposes and for my own enjoyment, probably more than 30 times at this point and I loved every single one of them. Btw, can we pay attention to the fact that the sneaky bastards over at BOC put a slight variation of Stable Delusion during the moment in which Vegas puts his hand inside Pete's underwear? Because I noticed, and I hope you did too. A lot of VP fans said they truly noticed Pete here, which is fair tbh, even though I was a big fan of his from the start. He truly shines in these scenes and seeing this side of him is delicious every single time.

No2: Pete's breakdown - Episode 13

Fuck my whole existence, what am I supposed to even say here? How am I even supposed to touch upon this scene without losing my mind? How do I explain what this scene did to my brain when I watched it, and kept watching it, and never stopped watching it because it's so fucking important to me? Pff, whatever, let me try. I'll mostly use the music playing throughout the scene to help me describe my feelings about it. The scene basically starts with both Vegas and Pete being lost and miserable, each one for different but interlaying reasons. The music accompanying the scene is called Unspoken, because neither can really say outright what's bothering them, because they're hanging by a thread and it's so, so good. It's heavy and painful and it creates this uneasy feeling in your stomach, accompanied by the visuals. It goes on, until it stops, right as Vegas says "Isn't my fucking life like this because of them?", because of course it does, Vegas is one second away from snapping at Pete, but Pete doesn't hesitate, he says to Vegas the harsh truth: "It's your choice." And then, Vegas drops the noodles - Pete's food, Pete's nourishment - on the floor, and the music playing is called Calculating Catastrophe, which I *only just discovered* and I want to pull my hair out. The dream is gone, no more afterglow, only misery, because Vegas can't handle the truth, because Pete can't handle the lie, because it's all crushing down and Pete can do nothing about it but accept it, accept Vegas' cruelty, accept the knife in his throat. He's waiting to die, he says it, he grabs Vegas' wrist and then, only when he says he doesn't even have his humanity left, does the music resume playing, the OST called This Creed, just as Pete tells Vegas - tells us, the audience - what his "set of beliefs which guide his actions" is, and both Vegas and us watching are dumbfounded, we're as scared for what Pete might do as Vegas is, and it's so painful and so beautiful to witness. The music stops again as Vegas says "No" to Pete being just a pet, and both him and us are breathing a hesitant shy of relief, only for Pete to snap again, to scream at Vegas while showing his handcuffed wrist, to ask "what the fuck is this then?" and the music playing compliments this moment brilliantly, because it's called Absent Cognition and it's a 10/10 fit. And the most brilliant thing here is how they're BOTH HAVING A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CONVERSATION. They're talking past each other and Pete knows, he knows Vegas is stuck on his delusions because he can't do otherwise, he can't, it'll destroy him, but Pete himself also can't do this anymore, he can't stay, he has to go, "I'm sorry, Vegas, I'm sorry" (relevant post to this point specifically because I have lost my mind over it in the past). God, this scene is sosososososo good and so them, and I can't stop watching it, I can't get it out of my head. It's utterly stunning and I love it.

No1: The pill kiss/VP's talk - Episode 11

Ok. I am not normal when it comes to this scene. I have based my entire fucking personality around it since 2022. It makes me emotional every time I rewatch it, it gives me goosebumps just remembering its existence. It's because this scene is the shift in their relationship. It's them finally looking at each other in the eye and truly seeing each other. It's a promise in the shape of a pill, it's a revelation, it's rebirth. Vegas being gentle with Pete for the first time shifted something in me, as it did in Pete himself. Vegas is fighting it a bit at first; he says "Take it" to Pete harshly, demanding Pete take the pill, but when Pete rejects him, his tone gets softer. It almost sounds like begging to me and it's so powerful. Oh Bible, the delivery of some lines feel like a slap across the face, thank you. Little House on the Hill starts playing as Vegas lowers his body and puts the pill into Pete's mouth through a kiss. Even the title of the song is softer, their own little world in a little house, as they're coming closer through a promise that ended up not being kept: I can be gentle with you too. Please take the nourishment I'm giving you. And then he gets up, and sits on the floor, and the show literally gives us VP being on equal ground for the first time, truly equal: both battered and broken and looking at each other. And they talk, and Vegas starts opening up already after Pete asks him what happened, and then A Sky Sparkling starts playing as Pete talks to Vegas about his childhood, about how his father beat him up for losing, and then for winning, and I'm a sobbing mess on the floor at this point. (A Sky Sparkling = Vegas' worldview changing, gaining light, a new perspective. Fuck the titles of these songs have ruined me.) You'd think I'd have the most words about my all-time favorite VP scene, but I'm afraid that's not the case. I'm speechless. It'd given me such a visceral reaction that I simply don't know how to explain myself anymore. All I know is that I'll never get tired of watching it, of thinking about it, of analyzing it in my head. It's everything to me. I love VegasPete so much. At the end of this super long post, that's all I can say.

[ominous-faechild]

✦ Musical OC Tag ✦

Following this open tag from @mysticstarlightduck!

Rules: Share 1-3 songs you feel best embody a character from your WIP/s, either in general or at this moment in the plot.

Characters from Sun and Shadow: Crow and Freya

Using generalized songs! Though some of them are definitely better placed at various points in the characters' lives, but... oh, well!

CROW

1. Bring Me Down - B3LLA, CHENDA

Can't get my feet off the ground It's harder to fight now Things are different than before Can't find myself anymore I'm in a dark place lately Why do I feel so crazy? It's almost like I'm sinking deeper, deeper It's like I keep trying to be hurt, be hurt You're always in my head Reminding me of what can come next Lately I don't feel so bright I just wanna run away and go hide But you are always right by my side Telling me to go left when I should go right I feel like my hands are tied so tight I feel like I'm going to lose my mind But I can no longer justify My actions 'Cause you're always gunna bring me down

2. Mr. Capgras (etc) - WWatT

Damn, I thought you're not your imposter You're so sure you're not gonna get caught Dead in your own skin But you didn't choose what you were born in And add another man in your repertoire Ready in your head and fed upon your memoirs Still the same rules apply From the birthday to the mourning What you feel and what you do, are those things really you? And if not, then what is? (Never, never, never) So, my God, what's wrong with you? And I'm still asking who that is

3. Stop - Grace Blue

Don't try to make me feel worthless Trust me, you ain't the first to pull this Staring outside from my little cage May have built for myself, but I had help And now I can't, I can't, I can't break through it I can't, I can't, these walls are rooted I can't, I can't, I can't So stop, open your eyes for once Can't you see, we're wasting all we got Stop, our brain keeps tricking us We gotta fight, fight, fight 'til we get what's ours All this fake love that we've gotten used to No one to trust or share all the good news You liked me better when I'm in my cage Just so you can feel good about yourself

FREYA

1. Mad - Echos

Used to care if I hurt you But holding all this pain hurts me more All the things you put me through Yeah, I'm still fucking mad at you You love to say I can't feel this way, oh I'm so close to breaking down My head is spinning, I think I'm losing my control My body's shaking, can't take it (I'm fucking mad) My mind is blanking, don't tell me I should let it go I'm a time bomb, put it off for too long Watch me explode

2. DEBBIE DOWNER - Neoni

I wanna toss my social currency Pack up my shit get up and leave Reckless abandon everything And move where no would ever think To check Cause I tried my best Think it's time to eject I don't think I'm suited For society My anxiety Is certifiably Gonna be the death of me

3. Sick - Echos

Do you feel pleasure, when I feel pain? 'Cause people like you never seem to change Does it feel good when you take The glory for my bleedin'? So fuck you for leavin' You made me believe it I never want you back Don't make me say it So fuck you for leavin' You made me believe it I never want you back You've got me singin'

I had fun with this (and definitely didn't already have playlists half-built to make a longer version of this for several of my MCs--) so I'm working on another for the tAR main cast!

Tagging (gently!): @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @the-letterbox-archives @yourpenpaldee @darkandstormydolls + open tags!

Divider by @cafekitsune

[meili-sheep]

diluc ships reactions to him stealing/wearing their clothing?

So let me repeat my Diluc body type headcanons.

He's about 5'10 with a very Dorito shape, so broad shoulders, and a tiny waist. So he honestly does need some tailoring as a lot of general-sized clothing is pretty ill-fitting on him.

I think he's also pretty sensitive to clothing. And he has one of those closets that's 90 thousand of the same 3 items. The only way he gets variation is Adelinde. So borrowing isn't really something he does on purpose. But the kicker is. Diluc in the morning is bearly functioning so you know things happen.

I might also include the headcanon of other's body types here too

Albedo

So Albedo is a lot smaller and thinner than Diluc. Much more rectangle-shaped. So Diluc can't wear t a lot of Albedo's things. That doesn't mean Albedo doesn't often put his jacket around Diluc. Or that he even got into sewing to make Diluc things. Like, I swear, this guy sewed just to make Diluc his safety gear.

Albedo does have a habit of drawing Diluc. Especially when Diluc is not paying attention. So what ends up happening. is Albedo will lay his coat on Diluc while he naps. Then ends up drawing it.

He has a whole notebook of sleeping Diluc.

Al Haitham

So this is one of the few who is similarly built to Diluc and is either just as broad or broader than Diluc. So Diluc can actually wear Al Haitham's clothes.

And let's be honest, these are two autistic people. And I bet they have similar issues with clothing. So there is probably quite a bit of mutual clothing stealing because they both just don't care and just wear what's comfortable. Al Haitham has also made Diluc a music player and headphones.

Though I do think Al Haitham has a bit of a moment when he sees Diluc in his very, very form-fitting shirt for the first time. He um might buy a few more that are a bit looser just for Diluc to borrow. He doesn't want anyone to get the wrong idea.

Ayato

So as a guy who is very proud of his culture and traditions. Seeing Diluc in anything remotely Inazuma fashion. It's a pretty critical hit. And like traditional Inazuma wear is like a major hit on his heart. So sort of by extension of the Diluc in his clothing would be great for him

Problem?

Ayato is a lot slimmer than Diluc.

So nothing is close to fitting. And I think Ayato realized that after one morning when Diluc tried to accidentally put on his shirt and realized his mistake when he couldn't button it. Ayato nearly pulled Diluc back into bed but didn't because of how sleepy Diluc was. He did end up buying a set of clothing similar to his style that fit Diluc just to see it.

Childe

So Childe's still not as broad as Diluc but not as slime as Ayato is. So Diluc actually can nearly get to the top. And Childe loves watching Diluc fumble sleepily around trying to get his shirt to fit. And he really likes how tight it is. And you know, with the strap on Childe's shirt. Certain parts of Diluc get a little accentuated. And Childe would let him walk around like that if he wasn't a pretty jealous person.

But outside of that he pretty frequently puts his jacket over Diluc's shoulder. Mostly when he sees Diluc napping or when he looks cold. He might be jealous but he's also very caring and honestly would give Diluc the shirt off his back.

Eula

So there is a decent size difference between the pair. Though I do think Eula is rather ripped. But something that Diluc noticed a while ago was how they have a similar style of gloves. So while this isn't really cloth stealing, he totally had a pair of gloves made that used Eula's color.

When Eula finally noticed it, he got really remembrance and just muttered something about wanting to match and tried to run away. But she totally wouldn't let him. And as his punishment, he hands to hold her hand.

Itto

Ok, so where this is another situation where Diluc and easily fits, and honestly, it's actually baggy on him. Itto doesn't, um, really where a lot.

He has definitely given Diluc his coat in the rain, not realizing Diluc normally carries an umbrella with him.

Though I think Kuki has tried to get, Itto to wear something more, probably for a trial or something, and Diluc's worn that. And Itto nearly lost it with how cute Diluc looked. He probably got more shirts and things so Diluc could wear them.

Kaveh

So I feel Kaveh is actually the closest to Diluc. Probably a little thinner, but yea. Diluc probably alls perfectly between Kaveh and Diluc. But Kaveh defiantly buys clothing for Diluc... All the time. And he probably steals Diluc's clothing all the time. Diluc has totally lost a jacket or two to Kaveh.

Now we are back to sleep Diluc and image sleep Diluc with Kaveh's very, very open shirt.

Kaveh definitely enjoy it for like .2 seconds until he noticed Diluc starting to leave because NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.

Thoma

Ah, so you know what. Thoma probably smells really nice, and Diluc has absolutely stolen Thoma's little jacket. Because it's just comforting. And when Thoma was looking for his jacket, he found Diluc cuddled up with it. He probably just gave up on the jacket and got a new one.

He probably does make Diluc a lot of hats and scarves too. All of which Diluc loves and wears all the time.

Xiao

So again there is a big size difference between Xiao and diluc. I imagine Xiao has a runner or sprinter's body so thin looking but absolutely ripped. And he doesn't really wear extra layers because I don't imagine he really every gets cool and stuff.

Diluc has given him his jacket before.

And Xiao had to ask around about what he should do with the jacket. He probably still has it not that Diluc minds. And he ended up giving Diluc a nice coat that General Kapisas made that he'd been holding on too.

Zhongli

So Diluc can definitely fit into Zhongli's clothing. But I feel Zhongli wears a particular type of fabric the Diluc hates. It's too smooth and silk, and he feels it catches on his skin. So he hates it. He can barely handle touching Zhongli's clothing sometimes.

But Zhongli being the money spender he is defiant and buys sent of clothing that is comfortable for him and in a style he likes but also Is something Diluc likes. It is his special cuddle outfit. (That Childe paid for)